#i feel claustrophobic

[phykoha]

had a viseral reaction to the updated format

it's so ugly.........

girlies I dont CARE that all the Twitter bitches migrated here. Dont make it look like Twitter just to make them feel better

[trinitycove]

In my helping others work through their social anxiety era 💖

[broe-v-wade]

im not usually one to complain about changes to the tumblr layout but like

bro this genuinely sucks why the fuck is it so cluttered

[platoapproved]

And that's the end of it. There's nothing else.

[mydaylight]

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson: English covers

[coworkerjonathan]

Tonight's escapades with @ultramarinaa.

[usertoxicyaoi]

"You have claustrophobia, right?"

CHASER GAME W (2024). Episode 2.

[spaciebabie]

does any1 else get so happy when their friends talk abt how much they love their partners. its so heartwarming dude

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Late(ish) at night gman ramblings time

Honestly I have yet to find a popular theory as to what Gman is that actually feels like. right to me. Like some of them are neat ideas, if put into something fan made, but if it turned out to be canon, most of the outcomes i've seen feel like they'd be super disappointing, in my opinion of course.

I've seen theories about Gman being a Shu'ulathoi that shapeshifted into a humanoid form, and while the idea is novel, I honestly feel as though it. limits him too much. It removes the mystery aspect of him because now we know what he is, and what his motivations are. Like, if Valve ever truly confirmed that Gman is some sort of alien species that we can easily pinpoint, or even one we've seen before, it would feel like it's putting gman in a box that doesn't fit him.

To me, Gman is best left unknowable. He is a species that only has one member (maybe), he doesn't have a set true (or at least comprehensible) form, but he's definitely not human. He doesn't have a name, he has no set species that aligns with anything we have seen so far. An eldritch entity that is outside what we have observed within the Half Life universe. As much as I would love to learn more about Gman, I also fear the mystery of him being removed and overall making him feel less like a cosmic threat.

Overall I don't personally think most of the theories explaining what he could possibly be are correct for him. He is nothing, yet everything at the same time. True ambiguity.

[tsilvy]

something about those little moments in s2ep3 with crowley alone in the bookshop while aziraphale is in scotland. I watched them all as a single sequence and it's just... SO MUCH.

look. the fact that crowley is cool as a cucumber when aziraphale is around, but when he isn't... well. there's the deep, deep breath he takes while he watches azi drive away, and i can't tell if he's more scared of being alone with gabriel or worried about azi going away alone. because as someone pointed out, aziraphale gets the car keys right after muriel arrives, and obviously it's safer for him to take the bentley which will hopefully keep him safe as it usually keeps crowley safe; but at the same time, crowley has to give up what's basically an extension of him, the one protection he has ready, to shield himself or to run away with, should anything happen while the guardian of the eastern gate aziraphale isn't there.

and then crowley is alone, without aziraphale, without his comfort car, stranded in his favorite place which has ceased being safe and has become instead somewhat inhospitable because his mortal enemy now lives here too. and the way he's wearing no jacket, no waistcoat, and he's just so thin, and snake-like, especially standing there near gabriel, who is built like a tank and you just know that if he's right, if by any chance gabriel became hostile, even in a non-magic fight crowley wouldn't stand a chance.

and yet, AND YET, he's quietly explaining gravity to him, then trying (and failing) to make Maggie and Nina vavoom and also explaining THAT to jim (azi didn't stop to hear his very romantic plan so at least maybe does jim? Can I hear a fucking wahoo?!), and you can't help but feel how badly he needs to talk to someone, anyone nonhuman around who isn't immediately outright hostile, without censoring himself, without complicated feelings in between.

and then, the exact moment later, the temporary peace is broken by gabriel himself remembering something ominous and ONE MOMENT LATER YET shax is outside, complete with background screaming chorus, and then crowley is desperately trying to convince her they don't know where the archangel is, still playing cool but swallowing like that, and then she says Hell will declare war and he's just thrown for a moment and says "to me?!" in THAT voice! but it's even worse than that, because they'll actually declare war not on him but on his friend, and he could maybe cope with hell wanting his scalp (again) but Aziraphale's?! And then STILL keeping that facade and telling her that anyway the angel is inside in the basement, because he knows that Aziraphale is safe while he's inside the bookshop, and therefore trying to keep her off Aziraphale's back while he's outside and alone? Which btw doesn't work because she somehow knows anyway and proceeds on harassing the angel in the bentley the very next time we see him?! AND at the same time he's trying to keep her from realizing he is all alone, here, in the bookshop?!?

And he's been flippant throughout, but the moment she leaves he's like, wreaked?! And his first instinct is of course to go back at being mad and threatening at Jim, but even that feels pointless, because the machine is already in motion, and it's always too late, it's "we're doomed" all over again, isn't it? and the fact that he's shaking all over as he comes to this conclusion?

and then we learn that he hasn't slept all night after this, and as soon as Aziraphale is finally back he's immediately out as if he'd been looking out the window all night waiting for him to be back home safe, and for his car to be available for him to finally feel safe into, and i've seen people wonder why he bolts the fuck out of there as soon as azi is back as if he didn't need a breather after all he's been through, AND THE FACT THAT LATER ON HE TELLS AZIRAPHALE CaN I WaTcH AS IF HE'S AT ALL INTERESTED IN HIM RUNNING ERRANDS ACROSS ALL OF SOHO AND NOT IN FACT UNABLE TO LEAVE AZIRAPHALE'S SIDE NOW THAT HE'S FINALLY BACK AFTER A FULL DAY AWAY DURING WHICH HELL IS APPARENTLY ABOUT TO DECLARE WAR TO HIM SPECIFICALLY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK

anyway what i want to say is this sequence is the epitome of anxiety and claustrophoby for me, and it plays like a horror movie. It's just A Lot

[phykoha]

new youtube layout makes me wanna jump into traffic

[garpond]

neil young overstimulated in the grocery store sources

[dragonanne]

There's a life decision/pursuit that has been seriously weighing on my heart the last few days. I'm sitting here thinking about it, and even though it scares me a little, I'm shaking with excitement at the mere thought of it. It would be a big change. But lately, I've really been feeling like I need a change. A big change.

I would appreciate prayers. Prayers that if this is what God wants for my life, He would keep this desire burning bright and open the right doors.

[americankimchi]

god i wish they hadn't retconned maul's death. i get wanting to explore more of his character because he was, objectively, one of the coolest star wars characters to ever hit the big screen and didn't get much screentime prior to his death, but also his role was fulfilled perfectly within those constraints so i wasn't too upset by it.

but by retconning it and making it so he never died it's like. okay. what now? the whole point (well, to me, ymmv of course) of the theed generator fight was that it was the first ever fight between the jedi and the sith in thousands of years, and that in the end even though the jedi (obi-wan) won the fight, a jedi (qui-gon) and a sith (maul) still died. a master and an apprentice dying together to herald the start of a new age/the return of the sith. perfectly paralleling the way in rotj a master (palps) and an apprentice (anakin/vader) died together to herald the return of the jedi. in both instances, a father figure (qui-gon/vader) dies in the arms of their son (obi-wan/luke) as a sith (palps/maul) is cast down into the abyss to their deaths. (palps being alive in the ST and retconning his death in rotj is also annoying for this reason)

i mean i like maul. don't get me wrong. he's an incredibly compelling character and i enjoy seeing more of him... but there's always the thought hovering in my mind like "he should be dead though. he should 100% be dead. this wouldn't be happening if he was dead, but i honestly would rather it not if it meant that maul was dead."

like the tpm fight just doesn't hit the same knowing that canonically he's just. going to become a robot octopus at some point. (shoutout to palps becoming sith glados in the ST) it cheapens the moment for me. it was supposed to be a moment of triumph marred by the deep and soul-crushing loss of a loved one and it's just... not, anymore. or at least not to the same extent. AUGH i'm just. frustrated. wish star wars as a whole wasn't constantly reframing/retconning what's been established. just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

[sforzesco]

Hymen, oh Hyménée!, Juan Luna

missing for 132 years, this painting by Juan Luna has been found and is currently on display at the Ayala Museum! (read more / news coverage)

(photo credit: Michael Lopez, Ayala Museum)