#i feel blessed in many ways! i feel like i've manifested a couple of things and 👀✨

[moooncats]

✿ PAC : Love Letter From Your Future Spouse ✿

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✿ Pile 1 ✿

Hello beautiful, did you miss me? I know that everything has been so hectic but I swear you are such a fighter. I love the way you have this no tolerance go getter attitude. You are truly my muse. You transform the most mundane things and make them into gold flecks that flutter into the air and it's just awe inspiring. I have searched all over the world, met many inspiring people in my life and none of them compare to you- you captivated me, lured me into your beautiful unique aura and I can never forget that moment. I knew then, that you had to be mine. I thank the heavens everyday because you are the person I get to wake up next to- what a blessing! I must have done a lot of good in my past life to meet you. It truly is a gift being in your presence! We mesh together perfectly, your hand in mine, our bodies intertwined. I can't believe that manifesting someone as yourself actually worked. Our vibrations match perfectly as we are in tuned with each other. Like a root deep underground, it's vast and everlasting. That is our love, we will grow stronger together and I am missing every second, minute, hour that I am away from you my love. I can't wait to make it back to you so we can start our forever life together, and we can do it all over again in another lifetime. Please wait for me goregous, I love you with all my hearts. Sending my love to you from every universe. I know you can feel its warmth. ♡ Yours truly. ♡

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✿ Pile 2 ✿

Hello goregous soulmate. I can't believe that it's that time of year again. I know you love letters from me and I've made you so many already but just know that every letter I write are my true authentic feelings. There is so much going on in my head everyday and most of it is because of you my goregous soulmate. You have encapsuled my love and intertwined it with your beautiful soul. I am forever grateful of your presence every day. You changed me so much and for the better. Before I was aimless in life, no drive, aspirations, no hope... then you came along. With your sunshine aura and I couldn't get enough of it. You are the light that guides my wandering soul out of the abyss. You are my forever muse. I can't wait to grow old with you and start that family we've always talked about, until then I have only my words to keep you going through these times. My will and determination to get us everything we deserve and need in life. You will never have to ask for more, anything you want you will have it my love. I love you so much goregous please don't ever change. ♡ Yours Truly. ♡

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✿ Pile 3 ✿

You're not mad at me are you? I know I've done a lot of things in this life that have made me feel regrettable, but this- this is the one that tops it all. I am human... we all make mistakes. Please don't fester any bad feelings for me my delicate little flower. You know I had you in mind the whole time and I thought it would be best for the both of us. Everything I ever do, my thoughts, my actions, my feelings; I always take you into consideration. You are my everything, my delicate flower that I must protect. I will do ANYTHING for you baby. You don't know how much you mean to me, the day we met was the best day of my life. I will never forget locking eyes with you for the first time. My heart instantly went into hyper drive, it just wouldn't stop. I knew then that you were the one. The way you move gracefully through the shit show that is life is just mesmerizing. Life has taken so much from you... from us. We are 2 souls who were once lost but when we get together, we become 2 partners intertwined and formed into 1 power couple. I know you know this my love, words can't express how much I feel about you. You are my muse, my world, my will to live. I won't lose you this time, not again. ♡ Yours Truly. ♡

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[winderlylandchime]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @lostcol and @madsworld15 thank you friends!

How many works do you have on ao3? 49

What's your total ao3 word count? 505,173

What fandoms do you write for? Currently Queer As Folk. In the past I've also written for CMBYN and CMBYN RPF.

Top five fics by kudos:

tied to a night they never met (CMBYN RPF)

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules (CMBYN RPF)

Flo's Shows (CMBYN RPF)

you're like a tattoo (something I can't undo) (QAF)

'cause all I'll ever by is your dirty computer (CMBYN RPF)

Do you respond to comments? I do. Especially because I write for a smaller fandom, most of the commenters are my friends.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ya girl wrote MCD so that's pretty angsty: love is so short (forgetting is so long) (QAF)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my recent fics have happy endings (usually at a party, call it my signature move). I'll link carried me with you (QAF) because people said the ending made them cry (in a happy way). And it's not at a party!

Do you get hate on fics? Not hate but some people were unhappy with I crossed all the lines (linked above) because I left the couple non-monogamous and I got negative comments in the bookmark of my series Exposure (QAF) because it is similar to a friend's series (never mind me mentioning her by name in my author's notes and having her blessing and encouragement to write the series) and because it has an open ending (not with regards to the couple but with regards mental health stuff... which is realistic)

Do you write smut? Yes. I enjoy reading it so I figure I should write what I enjoy. One of the drawbacks of writing in a small fandom where so many of my readers are friends is that I do sometimes hold back on the smutty filth I would write because I can literally picture my readers' faces and that's a bit uncomfortable.

Craziest crossover: I'm writing a QAF / RPDR crossover fic right now ("writing" in the very loosest definition of the word).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I would love that. What an honor.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Er. Yes. I wrote [redacted] with [redacted] but then [redacted] happened and yada yada yada my name isn't on that fic anymore. I'm not anti-co-writing. But, I would need to know my co-writer much better in advance if I were to agree to it again in the future.

All time favorite ship? Brian/Justin aka Britin from QAF. I also LOVE reading Aziraphale/Crowley from GO but haven't really written for them (one drabble and one ficlet).

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've Loved Her in Secret, I've Loved Her Out Loud WILL GET FINISHED (manifesting) soooo not that. And there's a CMBYN RPF fic that is unfinished and will remain that way and I'm okay with that (ie I don't want to finish it)

What are your writing strengths? FEELINGS. My bread and butter.

What are your writing weaknesses? I think I'm getting better at dialogue, I used to really struggle with it. So I'm going to say... plot? That's such a weird thing to say, but I am shit at doing complex plots.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it makes sense, do it! Or even words in another language - I know I often slip Italian and Yiddish into conversation here and there if the other language captures a certain je ne sais quoi that english doesn't. (see what I did there?)

First fandom you wrote in? Ya girl was writing Lois/Clark | Superman fic (het fic? by this queer? more likely than you think!) for Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman in the 90s on yahoo listservs.

Favorite fic you've written? I'm very proud of you're like a tattoo (linked above). I'm also proud of beautiful like the darkness between the fireflies some post-canon, modern setting, exes-to-lovers, soft QAF goodness. And I'm also ridiculously happy with Chasing Dragons which is a fanfic of a fanfic but I think stands alone. I feel like I captured the way one of my all-time favorite fic writers writes my all-time favorite characters and I made her ridiculously happy with it and yeah.

I'm no pressure tagging: @sheisraging @bartbarthelme and anyone else who wants to!

[windvexer]

hi! so i'm a beginner witch, but i'm struggling to start my practice because i can't seem to look past my skepticism. how did you first start to believe in your practice? if you have any advice i would greatly appreciate it – perhaps a simple spell that can 'prove', at least psychologically, that i'm not doing nothing?

Hmm. The desire for verification is very valid. Nothing wrong with it; it's good to experience the validation that yes, your magic works.

Let me ask you this.

Are you interested in witchcraft as a skill, or even a hobby (nothing wrong with that), because gaining the ability to influence the world around you with magic is cool?

Or, are you interested in witchcraft as a framework of spiritual belief that improves your lived experience on this world, and helps you navigate the "big questions" about yourself and your life?

Of course, there can be plenty of overlap between the two.

If you're in it for the sorcerous skills, divination is a quick fix that can start producing immediate results - for most. I was horrible with divination the first couple of years I tried it. But lots of people have great success right off the bat.

Beyond that, just try casting spells. Keep decent records. Different kinds of magic work better or worse for different people. Some people can do really amazing things with energy work, but I can't really do that because it exhausts me. I work very well with spirit petitions, but some witches out there don't believe in spirits at all, so of course they would have a lot of trouble working with that style. So experiment around.

Try small quality of life spells - getting work or school closed for the day, quick cash, open parking spots, etc etc. Keep in mind that some people will never excel at certain types of magic - for example, a person may never be good at love or romance magic even if they excel in other areas - so if a spell type doesn't work for you (like money, or finance) try other types.

I don't recall being very successful with magic for a while after I started practicing (like, years!) so unfortunately not all of us are blessed with quick results.

Now, on the other hand, if you are interested in witchcraft as a spiritual framework, "I know I can trust this because I've seen it work" might be a lousy way to go about things.

Witches who have practiced for decades still get crises of faith and question their experiences, their reality, and their beliefs. Many of us live in a world where these beliefs are actively shut down - either as being fake, foolish, and delusional; or, as being evil and demonic.

It can be hard to keep the torch of faith lit in the face of such a storm. And unfortunately, pulling off a few slick spells isn't going to provide perfect armor against doubts.

And what about the all too common phenomenon of someone's magic failing to work for a period of time? It is unfortunately normal for techniques witches have personally relied on for years to simply stop working for them, stalling their practice out for months or longer while they try to rebuild.

If you're looking for a spirituality to call home, you should consider seeking more stable bedrock than "my spells really do work" to build it on.

Does your practice provide you with liberation, excitement, hope? Does it grant you feelings of peace and security? When you think about the world through the lens of witchcraft, does your life become easier to navigate? Do the painful little cracks in life get smoothed over, or become easier to avoid? Does the mindset of a witch help you learn, grow, and prosper?

In the long term, I believe these are the things that keep us going - not whether or not a spell can be made manifest. If this mindset brings you peace, hope, and empowerment, then you are never just doing nothing.

To answer your question about myself, I was raised in a religious household that acknowledged the reality of spirits and witchcraft, except that they were just "evil." So, believing that it was real was never an issue for me - it was believing that I could do it which was the problem.

The answer for me is just experience, time and time again. Years of experiences stamped onto the soft clay of my life. When you look at them one at a time it seems like nothing but little divots, but after a few years you can zoom out and say, ah-

they are not random little pock marks after all.

That is a carving of a chicken.

[kunthug]

melancocky & such...

i've been thinking a lot about the recent season of random acts of flyness and unsurprisingly spent more time thinking about how the episodes articulate sentient wounds; wounds sacral, psychological, physical and ancestral. it’s a little daunting there’s all these to attend to in the course of also surviving and being present. in episode 2, it names a wound persona born of the character najja, and describes sentient wounds as:

“ the story of the pain that lives in your body, and feeds on the stories you tell it. the pain being often lies dormant, until triggered by a story it can feed on. it’s goal ? to survive and convince you that they- the pain-are you.”

& in my experience, the pain, wound or lack once sentient is indeed you. it isn’t all of you, but it is you. here’s how i see it: a personal pain from just living is surviving many serious things i shouldn’t have survived alone. blessed with a sacred gift of deep knowing, or by sheer determination, i’d been working the maths to try solve the big gnawing knotty things in my body. i realized this is something that i couldn’t do alone, but despite my best attempts, what i need for that wound to seal or even be poured into seems to be delayed and denied for so many reasons that i, as whatever i is, can say okay well at least i tried, but the wounds do not care. a curse of being born from where i came is at once been so gifted as seeing things as they really are, but this way of seeing is very costly. deep knowing makes living incredibly difficult for me.

it’s an uneven double edged sword that makes me wish i could be more blissfully unaware. i don’t even know if it is me particularly or that the wounds seem to take up some of my nature automatically in being impatient and incredibly high mantainance, this high maintenance being it better be so fucking good, whatever salve, or i don’t want it. it feels like an exaggeration saying high maintenance when all it really wants is a lot of time spent with others and a lot of physical intimacy that feels impossible(or lackluster) under capitalism. but again, the wounds don’t know this. so i’m spending the extra energy i don’t have trying to acknowledge the wound in a way or find the language to let it know that i see it and pacify it still all on my own. in my case this lack of community or space to be able to show them continue to impact the severity of the wound and by implication me. in my experience, my wounds are not dormant things that need stories to be triggered, i’m actively seeing it manifest itself daily even on somewhere as vapid as instagram 💀 which is why i’m grateful for the articulation of sentient wounds because the wounds r bloody alive.

i don’t know the extent of control we have with our wounds, but i find it very important roaf2 has named it sentient because i’m seeing how it changes me. najja as one of her sentient wounds, celine, in the couple’s therapy scene talks about how celine protects najja, as well as other qualities that makes it impossible for najja to hate celine. i don’t hate my wounds, infact i tend to take a nurturing role with it and let it misbehave and get nasty and not feel a hey don’t do that role with it. i enjoy some of the changes this wound is bringing, i sure do need to get cockier, i sure do need to remember how loud it demands, how it recoils at lowly offerings, how it spits on plastic, i sure need to be more proud of myself 4 surviving the things—it says i am a formidable bitch because it is.

& as for the less desirable changes like xxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxx, we’ll see about that in the letting go portion of the healing rituals. for now i let it rage. 🌺

[improvingtrainwreck]

Ig. All these posts w images I blog or reblog... they're manifestations of what I wish my own life to be and experiences I am deeply hoping and looking forward to expereincing.

They have to come true. They, have to.✨



🪄believe in life's magic, good karma from putting beautiful energy out into the universe, God's blessings, and the universe's will to manifest your wildest dreams n dream life. I love you universe, even though it's been mostly hard lately(lately as in the past couple or just the past years of my life- mostly). Even then I'm still holding my head up, believing, knowing it's going to get way better than I ever even wished for, or dared to dream...

Just as those ''The Alchemist" posts said

 “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”(Coelho, 2014, pg.24)

Speaking of which I fell in love with the before ever having read it. I wasn't really a bug reader but I'm trying to get into it... Y'all but when I tell you luckily enough for me, the most random opportunity presented itself and I was able to borrow it from a sweet soul. I finally got my hands on a copy and when I tell you I'm about halfway through and the book's made me so emotional quite a bit of times already... ugh beautifull. Anyway it's been a lil bit I really needa finish it, I wanna finish it soon. Also I'm kinda on a sm break rn so it's gonna be interesting and growth inspiring seeing what I do w that time

And OHMYGORF

I ALMOST FORGOT. I wrote the most beautiful, moving poem the other day. Somedays I literally forget that I'm a poet. Like i often forget it's a big part of what makes me me. Like I am actually a full blown, poetic soft deep loving romantic soul having, poet. Just like these pros I'll see/ hear about on social media. That'ss why I can start writing abt literally the most mundane thing and it turns into a beautifully written, "🥹" ,long paragraph or twoo. Like I literally can't help itt. I don't necessarily like the process of actually writing/typing this long but it just happens. most. or. every. time. Then the reality really hit. I am. A poet. Isn't that interesting. It's crazy to think that for the rest of the point though that isn't exactly a selling point or somethin they'd love or cherish in a partner or peer. Really interesting to think abt, in fact for those who haven't exactly met themselves or the world that deeply yet, they'd probably just pull a u turn in fact. N ig while it's a little sad it's just kinda like repellant for souls that wouldn't exactly mesh well with mine sooo, blessing in a disguise? I feel like not many things feel better than meeting persons you truly connect with🥹.

Yeah and I know it sounds weird, like "how do you forget you're a poet?" ik ik, but it happens. Not that I have to explain delicate matters like this, oof the heart aka my art, w anyone but just on like a homie, transparent level... I think it's because after seeing the grand works of these truly talented, especially published poets out there and ig after subconsciously comparing my works and achievements or lack thereof (in the field) to them... it just doesn't feel the same ig? Sometimes when you're new to something, a field, career, area of study- whatever, it can feel and be really intimidating seeing all the well established persons and veterans in the are and not feel anywhere near them. Even if your talent is but you're just not as sugared or decorated yet. And I feel like it's also bc I've felt I've had to turn down the poet inside me for the day by day, either to not come off as weird or bc my deep feelings and writing or speaking lingo would standout way too much and tbh anything slightly different and we know how mean ppl can get. Anywho I'm getting over that now bc it's so evident how "trying to fit in or be 'normal' kills character", it's just been saddeningly hard trying to get back in touch with me. The me that was before society made feel weird for being me and learned all the way to fit in perfectly and be socially acceptable. Ngl, I've been on this 'getting back to me' path for a while now and it's crazy how you'll think all the work to undo the damage that was done, is done but then it's not and you'll always discover another way or area you missed. Like it's soo hard to uncap my personality and the entirety of my soul once it's been capped, esp for so long- so I can be at my fullest basking in self-love and existing entirely, soul without unclipped wings and radiating the most beautiful aura (that'll attract all the healthy beautiful souls aligned w me that'll bring love, great thing and reciprocated energy into my life🥹,) shining in all her glory as she should, and always deserved to be. Fully me unapologetically like I never had the chance to be before. I want that so muchh, I will not stop just lovingly working on it. I know it'll happen someday soon and it'll be the most wonderful. I already felt a glimmer of that sun peeking through a cloud the other day and it is divine, I can sense the perfect confidence����...

Ykw too, I swr every time I start writing these post I truly neverr expect them to be this long but then I start writing and my brain brings up more and more and I jus have to type it and so I end up with these reallly long journal type entries, with it's content deeper than expected fr. *satisfying sigh, turns head to the right, looks into space* I wouldn't change it for anything though...

Also as one of my signature touches to these posts... one of the really cool parts about it being online... here's the very recent masterpiece from 2 of my favs

What was I made for by Billie Eilish. Her writing along with Finneas' and his production🥹😭😭💗

I love that duo. I also find Jeremy Zucker's beautiful, lovee me some Ed Sheeran. Can't remember who else in this category for now, but trust me y'all. Every time Billie and Finneas make music I love it, feel something and relate to it somehow, they're like angels at this, I am truly in love with their work and their artistry.

My forearm is lowkey burning from all this typing chile oml, honestly pretty normal is the crazy part

Mémoire. Nora Attal photographed by Brydie Mack for Faithfull the Brand Summer 2020.

[rosesnbooks]

kittens. that's the post

[windvexer]

Hello I hope this ask isn't unwelcome, I have been interested in the things you talk about recently but every time I try to get into practical stuff my research says that I must obtain materials that I myself cannot get. What would you recommend I do and what approach can I take that would require more commonly found things? Also where would you recommend I get my information from?

Im sorry I realize these are multiple questions,,, feel free to ignore :)

Hello!

I looked on your blog for pictures of a cat whom I assumed was named Pebbles, yet I found none. I hope you will remedy this at your earliest convenience.

You don't need to obtain much in the way of materials. I myself place great importance on the utilization of physical objects in practical spellwork, but many people do not. There are practices out there which are purely mental/astral/energy work, and do not use any physical tools at all. Looking into these practices may be beneficial to you.

Although I do place importance on physical objects, I don't do much in the way of tools, and if anyone's looking for opinions, I don't recommend beginners really start with tools at all.

Cauldrons, wands, stangs, athames (athemes?), little bells and mirrors, magic bowls, all that... you don't need 'em for any act of magic. I've rarely ever used any tool and mostly just wasted a lot of money on them. My most used tools are fire-safe bowls and plates I use to give offerings and hold candles. From what I've seen, getting real and powerful utility out of a spellcasting tool takes a lot of time and effort to build a relationship with that tool and learn how to use it. So unless it's something you're ready to focus on, I say skip it.

When it comes to spell ingredients, your spice cabinet has everything you need. I use tea lights and incense from big-box stores, here you can get 100 tea lights for about $5 last time I checked. I also like to use my hobby materials for spellwork. For example, using clay to make spell vessels or using my yarn for knot magic. But you don't even need candles or incense, depending on what you're doing. Even when physical components are required you can get away with using very, very little stuff.

I really don't recommend going out to buy a ton of crystals or minerals, either.

It's hard for me to give specific recommendations since I'm not sure what you're interested in or what sources you're looking at so far. But as an example, I cast a spell last week which was just my intent and spiritual symbols written on a piece of paper. I folded the paper up and tied it with some string I had around. Then I prayed over it, asked it to be blessed, and left it on my altar. I burned a stick of incense to help empower the spell, which I didn't really need to do, but I like burning stuff.

And it manifested beautifully a couple hours after I put it down and walked away.

Remember that a lot of modern witchcraft is still heavily influenced by the highly ceremonial roots of Wicca. There are some Non-Wiccan witchcraft books that really sit you down and tell you to gather 7 sacred objects and buy 5 expensive resins to prep a magical ink to initiate your "witch tools" just so you can even begin practicing.

Bah to all that, I say. What you have on hand will nearly always suffice.