#i feel bad for my mom because she is like so devastated and shocked by this behavior because he's been treating her like fucking

[beyblaiddyd]

To briefly overshare tm

last month my brother like utterly lost his mind and broke my sister's door with a baseball bat because her friends were being "too loud" at 3pm and refused to unlock the door when he came out screaming at them and then when i went off on him for this/refused to "listen to his side of the story" (i overheard the entire event) (there was no side of the story to listen to) he told me i wasn't his family anymore and then he spontaneously without warning moved out w/ his girlfriend to another state and stiffed us on the month's rent ^_^ and then there was a whole bunch of other shit with my mom's stupid ass fucking boyfriend but i can't even get into that

[moonlight-starlight-lady01]

How...how are you alive?

Kenji sato x Fem! [Different demention] Reader.

☆♡☆♡☆

SUMMARY:Ken had a lover named Y/n, but she had passed away. He was devastated from that. Then 2 years later his mother was declared dead. So he took the opportunity to move to japan and restart his career in his home country. But then something strange happened. There was a exact copy of his lover in his living room. Except she wasnt his y/n. She was different.....from a different demention.

[A/n:Im gonna try and make this into like a series i guess lol]

(Warning: sexual tension, angst, confusion, crying, my cutie ken sad basically the whole story. Y/n has brown eyes & brown hair[ya know bc shes from a different demention]<tell me if i missed any>)

Pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5.

♡♡♡♡

It was different. Sad. Not like what he had thought his life would feel like. Y/n had died 2 years ago because of cancer. He remembers her blue eyes sparkling like the ocean when the sun began to rise from the night sky. Her blonde hair swaying in the wind perfectly all fluffy and soft. Her plumped lips smiling showing her pearly white teeth. Her dress would be thigh length and sway in the wind so majestically. Her sweet voice would say the most beautiful things when she spoke. But then....her eyes became dried cracked wholes in her head. Her hair began to fall out and become like straw. Her smile started to turn into a signature line. Her voice started to sound ruff and hard. But one thing never changed. How much she loved Kenji. Everytime she saw him walk into her hospital room with the signature red roses and smiling happy to see her fiancé. But then it all ended with that one last beep on the monitor. After that he didnt want to find love ever again. It hurt to much. The sound of her laughter when they would cuddle and tickle each other. Or when they would wake up with each other in bed and stay there all day. It wouldn't be the same.

Then 2 years after that his mom was declared dead. Something snapped in him. He moved to japan to restart his career and forget about everything that wanted to make him cry all day.

So now he was on his way to play basbell. The Giants. Fight as Ultra man. And restart. But how he had asked to please make the pain stop to anything that could have the power to. Anything.

.

.

.

That was until he woke up to a crashing in his living room and a female screaming.

He had grabbed his baseball bat and tip toed to the sound. It was a girl. A women. She turned around and looked at him scared.

.

.

.

It was Y/n.

But it wasn't her exactly....She has brown hair and brown eyes. Probably taller than her and more plump in some areas...*ahem*.

"(Y/n?)"

She looked even more confused. "Uh, yes" she said uncertain. "Who are you and why the fuck am i here?"

He was in shock. Why was there someone that looked like his y/n but so so different. Plus his y/n never cussed. The only bad word he ever heard her say was crap. And she said fuck like shes used to saying it.

"W-Wait, you dont know me?" Kenji asked confused. He waited for her answer. ".....nooo?"

Fuck. What the fuck. How is this possible.

But, after some time. He learned that Y/n was 22 and was living in California. She worked at a cafe and book store to make ends meat. She was the complete opposite to what y/n was like. She didn't even have the same color at all like her. Brown hair, brown eyes, playful/sassy attitude and less innocent.

"Well, can you help me get to my home demention because like ya know, im not suppose to be in this one?"

Damn. She's right. She has to go home sometime. He looks at her thinking.

"Plus, everytime you look at me your litterely burning holes into my ass and tits"

Yep she definitely not his Y/n. How will this go now. His life is already a mess to began with...

♡♡♡♡

[yellow-dejavu]

When I saw Dark, I definitely expected characters like Hannah and Ulrich to be hated. I wasn't surprised when I saw comments disliking them on different websites, but I just didn't expect to see people celebrating that Hannah was murdered by her own child while her younger child was sleeping in the same room.

People can enjoy any moment they want while watching a show or movie, but I just don't get it. Hannah gets an amount of hate that no other character in the show gets, and it feels like a large part of the show's viewers ignore to even trying to understand her.

jonas literally says in the first episode:

“My father said good and evil are a question of perspective.”

I'm not saying her character didn't do bad things, but it's exhausting how that's the only thing people see about her and it's just like they're trying to erase the good she did or all the positive things she meant in certain characters' lives.

I was even more shocked to see how few comments put Hannah on the same level as Helene Albers. I just don't understand how anyone could think that Hannah is somehow comparable to an abusive parent.

Hannah with her kids:

When she saw her boy struggling to cope with his dad's dead, she supported her child and made sure he got the professional help he needed.

And when Jonas came back to town, she made sure he got his medications and therapy sessions with Peter.

Hannah was so worried when Jonas tells her he had a fight at the end of the first season.

In the same scene, he just wanted to comfort his mother by saying, "Don't worry, Mom. Everything will be fine, Mom." when he actually believed that he could save Mikkel and thus end his own existence.

As the months passed since her son's disappearance, Hannah was so devastated that she almost took her own life.

She didn't, because Stranger Jonas appeared.

Stranger Jonas has returned after years of living in the apocalypse, and he doesn't know what else to do when his plan fails. The only thing he can think of is to go to his mom and tell her the truth.

After the time young Jonas spent traveling with Claudia, the first thing he does when he finally returns home is look for his mom.

It was a long time before Hannah saw her son again.

But she went to see him immediately when a random old woman told her that she knew where her son was and that he needed her.

Hannah was heartbroken when she saw what had happened to her boy. In that moment she apologized, recognized her mistakes, and told him that she was there for him.

Young Adam looked scary, but Hannah loved him anyway, and baby Silja trusted him when he said, "I want to show you a secret. But we'll let your mom rest, okay?"

Hannah died when Silja was very young and she probably didn't remember much about her mom, but she still named her firstborn Hanno after her.

and that's just to mention some of the things I could remember about Hannah's relationship with her kids.

The last dialogue of the whole show:

"I always thought "Jonas" was a good name."

Hannah was a good mom and her kids absolutely loved her. It bothers me that some people want to take that away from her because they don’t like her.

It's really hard for me to understand how some viewers can watch a show like Dark and decide that they can see all the million gray areas that all these characters had, but with one particular character they reduce everything to black and white.

[theaceofarrows]

Imagine for a moment that instead of taking them back to when their parents were in high school. The pocket watch took Red and Chloe back to the day Bridget lost the rest of her family.

And listening to the screams and devastation...Red has a moment of thinking ...oh heck...this is it....THIS what pushed my mother over the edge to be 'heartless'...It wasn't JUST the prank, it was LOSING HER HEART, as she lost the REST of our family....

I know I say this a lot, but I can't imagine all the emotions that Red would be going through in that moment when she sees that.

Red is the type of person who jumps straight in when she needs to defend someone (like she did for young Bridget when the VKs showed up in Life Is Sweeter), but it wouldn't be surprising if she froze before she could do much. It wouldn't be a stretch if Red thought the watch had messed something up and was somehow making her see things because what she's seeing can't be real, can it?

Her father is the dead King of Hearts who was whispered to have been killed by her mother. The dead King of Hearts, whose name she doesn't even know because it's outlawed from being spoken and is a crime punishable by death. That can't be her father, can it?

She is an only child. She doesn't and has never had brothers or sisters. Her mother is tight-lipped about the time before Red was born, yes, but surely, she would have mentioned if she had other children before Red that she so clearly loved. Wouldn't she?

I have no doubt that after a few moments of the initial shock wearing off that Red WOULD run at the guards to stop them, but by then, despite Red kicking, punching, and tackling as many guards as she can, even with Chloe using her sword to help, they're two teenagers against dozens of trained men, it's too late.

The man that's apparently Red's father has been knocked unconscious, surrounded by the bodies of men he's killed or injured. Her young siblings kick and scream and cry for their parents, as they're being carried away, but no matter how hard they try, they can't win against grown men. All of this happens while her mother is being held back by multiple guards, screaming, demanding, and pleading for them to release her family. It's no use.

When Auradon's guards have left with her family and Red sees her mom on her knees, sobbing, and absolutely broken, for the first time, Red understands the grief that's followed her mother for sixteen years.

Chloe is having so much conflict. She's spent her whole life knowing exactly who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. So now why does she feel sick to her stomach after witnessing what Auradon, the good guys just did to the bad guys? After witnessing something that her parents supported?

And all of this is within just the first hour. Overall, this would be so much heavier for both Red and Chloe than just ending up at Merlin Academy.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense with the way I worded it. My wording keeps coming off like a pov, and that KoH part was 100% just my headcanon. I once again got carried away.

Thank you so much for the ask! I definitely had a lot of thoughts on this.

[biconickyoshi]

Okay y’all… I was very critical of eps 3 & 4 (especially 4) of NAtLA. Then all of a sudden eps 5 & 6 kinda slapped me in the face with how much better the show suddenly got.

Spoiler-free thoughts first:

Zuko, Iroh, and Aang have cemented themselves as the best parts about this adaptation - which is really funny considering I’m currently writing a longfic AU where Zuko and Iroh discover Aang in the iceberg right after Zuko is banished at age 13 and end up becoming the first members of the Gaang (albeit reluctantly at first lol). Episode 6: “Masks” (the Blue Spirit adaptation) was so good, I’d venture to say that it actually improved and fleshed out some things from the original series.

Episode 5: “Spirited Away”, while not as good as E6, was not as bad as I heard people say it was going to be. I think that the changes they did make didn’t bother me nearly as much as the changes they made in the last episode, and it was actually entertaining.

There were several scenes that made me cry in both of these episodes (moreso in episode 6, which I’ll get into further down in the spoiler section). These are the scenes that I feel like really tapped into the heart of the original show rather than feeling like a soulless remake.

Now for my in-depth thoughts (INCLUDES SPOILERS):

EP 5: “Spirited Away”

- Staring out, I was bummed because I had just rewatched the first two eps of the original animated series lol.

- It was an interesting choice to have all three members of the Gaang get stuck in the Spirit World, but I think it worked.

- Wan Shi Tong just showing up randomly was a bit unnecessary, but I suppose it will be kinda interesting to see him again in S2 since he’s already met the Gaang

- Hei Bai plays a much smaller role in these eps, but I strangely didn’t mind that either?

- Seeing Katara’s last memory with her mom was devastating, especially the fact that she had to witness her death and hide in the igloo with Kya’s charred body :(( she definitely has severe PTSD.

- Even Sokka’s memory made me tear up a bit

- Koh being the villain and a soul-eater or whatever was a bit of an odd choice, but I guess I can see why they did it. I do prefer him just being an asshole who steals ppl’s faces lol

- Appreciated the Fog of Lost Souls reference from the LoK lore

- Aang reuniting with Gyatso made me cry. I know some people didn’t like him being in the Spirit World, but I really liked it. Also, the fact that Gyatso was the first person to tell Aang that it wasn’t his fault the Air Nomads died, and that if he had been there he would have died too? THANK YOU! My poor boy has been berated enough for “abandoning” the world.

- We got some interesting lore about the afterlife for humans from Gyatso and Aang’s convo, which we’ve never gotten in AtLA media before. Idk if it’s just for Air Nomads, but Aang mentions that Gyatso stayed behind instead of “seeking enlightenment”. I know that the end goal in Buddhism is to reincarnate until you eventually achieve nirvana, so I wonder if that’s what they were alluding to (I’m not an expert on religions so pls correct me if I’m wrong)

- Oh yeah, I forgot June is here lmao. As a queer person I loved her (bc beautiful goth woman) but I didn’t like the weird choice to make her hit on Iroh - I guess to contrast the Iroh being creepy towards her thing in the OG series. I wish they would have just had them interact normally tbh, no weird “flirting”

EP 6: “Masks”

- Here we go y’all. The best episode in the show so far and probably the best the show is gonna get this season. I’m still pretty shocked at how good this one was.

- I think the decision to include flashbacks to Zuko’s Agni Kai was a good decision here. It felt like an appropriate episode for them and the flashbacks were very well done.

- In general, Dallas is doing a phenomenal job at portraying a Zuko who is angry and aggressive, yes, but also so very sweet and compassionate at his core. I love when little inklings of his true self shine through.

- Roku was… not what I expected. He was very much more of a lighthearted and jokey person… I didn’t hate it, it was just unexpected lol. I wonder if they did that to contrast him with Kyoshi. Which, speaking of, I’m glad Roku clarified that Aang doesn’t just need to be a merciless warrior (and that he didn’t berate Aang for “abandoning” the world like she did). But I still am annoyed about the mischaracterization of Kyoshi in general.

- RIP Shyu :/

- Thought it was kind of strange how June captures Aang at Roku’s temple lol. Like how did she get on and off the island??

- Zhao continues to feel like a completely different character to me lmao. I think this version is pretty funny, but it’s so weird to see Zhao being portrayed as so goofy and incompetent when he was such an intimidating force and the main villain of Book 1 in the OG series. Just a weird direction they went with his character.

- The Yuyan archers look cool as fuck. 10/10 no notes

- Still not sure how I feel about Azula already being this insecure and jealous of Zuko. I think it makes her feel a bit more realistically like a child, but the whole point of Azula’s character is that she is really good at maintaining this cool and calm persona on the surface, which she uses to scare and manipulate people. I can see her maybe getting to a point later on to where she hardens herself into that though. We’ll see.

- Baby Zuko asking Iroh how he looks and his little smile 😭😭😭😭 I had a physical “aww” reaction to that. THAT’S MY SON (me and Iroh shouting in unison)

- War Room scene was handled very well. No complaints. I like how Ozai tried to test Zuko with battle strategies.

- Blue Spirit break out scene was extremely close to the original, and it was really good. They adapted it almost shot for shot with all the important parts.

- Here’s probably my favorite part of the episode: Zuko and Aang’s talk inside the abandoned house after they escape from Pohuai!!!!!! Gahhhh I could gush about this scene all day. I love how they expanded it to be an actual friendly conversation between Aang and Zuko. Like we get to see Zuko’s true self coming through - the sweet, kind boy we know he is. Zuko and Aang just have such great chemistry as well, wayyy more than Aang has with either Sokka or Katara. Like I adored them bonding over painting and caligraphy!!! I think this is the best acting we’ve seen from Gordon so far, and Dallas did a phenomenal job switching back to that hurt, angry version of himself (of course a trauma response). And the fact that Aang said “sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” when he blocked Zuko’s firebending attack??? My sweet boy 😭

- The final flashback to the Agni Kai was really well done too. I’d already heard Zuko fights back, which I wasn’t sure I’d like, but I actually didn’t mind it. I really liked that they showed Zuko’s hesitation whenever he did actually have an opening, and that was what angered Ozai the most - Zuko showing compassion, “weakness”. Daniel Dae Kim is of course doing a phenomenal job (no surprises there), and I really liked that Iroh actually attempted to stop Ozai at one point. It also looked like young Azula had tears in her eyes, which I again actually liked because it humanizes her.

- I loved that Aang was still there when Zuko woke up on the boat 😭 he wanted to make sure he was okay!! I full on started crying when we got the “do you think we could have been friends too?” lines from him. Again, Gordon killed it. I love how you can tell that Aang knows Zuko has been hurt and that’s why he acts the way he does. He doesn’t blame him for any of it. 10/10

- the last flashback to Zuko in his bed recovering from the burn… god the tears just kept flowing. I really liked the choice to have Ozai almost give Zuko a chance to like… idk understand why he did what he did, and how compassion is “weak”?? And then Zuko’s response to give people a chance 😭😭😭 as if I couldn’t love him any more!!! And then of course Ozai gets pissed. But seeing baby Zuko just cry in his bed UGH I’m dehydrated at this point

- Of course I can’t finish this review without mentioning the 41st division. What an incredible way to expand upon the source material by making them Zuko’s crew!!! It shows just how much Zuko truly cares about others and it moved me so much (once again to tears).

I don’t have high hopes for the last two episodes, but honestly, if this is what the live action can be, it gives me a bit of hope (at least for future seasons). I really think that Dallas, Gordon, Paul, and Daniel were the stars of this ep and are a big part of what made it so good.

[frozenmoonshine]

How would TR boys react to you opening up to them about your abusive family

Characters: Mikey, Draken, Baji, Chifuyu, Kazutora, Mitsuya, Sanzu

TWs:

Mentions of traumatic experiences and abuse (nothing too explicit, but if the topic is upsetting for you, please skip this one!)

Insinuated hetero relationship in Baji's case. In other ones, no reader gender is mentioned.

MIKEY

He doesn't understand and can't quite relate, but he's supportive. He hears you out, listening actively, he's soft and loving, and offers moral and emotional support to the best of his ability. He keeps that confident, protective front, assuring you that he's not gonna let anything bad happen to you ever again, and that no one will ever hurt you in any way, as long as he's alive, but deep down he's now petrified with fear of him hurting you himself accidentally, or when he goes into the 'dark impulse' mode. He might get a bit distant for a while afterwards, or treat you like fine porcelain, until Kenchin and Takemicchi set his mind straight.

DRAKEN

It's really hard for him to relate, as he never had any family to begin with, but having heard your story makes him think that he was actually way better off that way, and should have never felt jealous of the kids who had parents! He'll try his best to understand what it must have been like for you, and he'll of course be considerate and empathetic.

"Sorry if my reactions are not appropriate or I don't know what to say, I just can't even imagine what that must be like! I don't want you to carry that burden alone, so please tell me what I can do for you!"

BAJI

Ohhh, he's having a rage fest on your behalf! Your own mother said that to you?! Did that to you?! Naaahh, he's not having any of that! Ryōko has always been strict and stern with him growing up, but no matter how bad he screwed up, she would never ever hit him, or call him names, or threaten to disown him, or anything of that kind. He'd be sooo pissed at your parents for treating you like that, you'd have to physically stop him from calling them from your phone and giving them a piece of his mind! When he's calmed down a bit he takes out his own phone and rings his mom.

"Hey mom, listen! You always wanted a daughter as well, right? How about I bring you one right away?"

"Uhm... Kei, are you aware of the implications of your words just now...?!"

"What. *shrugs* I would've proposed to you anyway."

CHIFUYU

He would just stare in shock, wide-eyed and completely perplexed. Is punching someone's parents ok, even if you've never met them before?! He's devastated and heartbroken by the thought of you going through such horrible experiences, and he's enraged that your own family did that to you. He's also afraid because he doesn't know how to react and how to comfort you in the best way, so in order not to risk hurting your feelings accidentally or triggering you, he just stays silent and pulls you into a loving, comforting embrace. He doesn't know how at this moment, but he will figure it out and make sure that no one ever gives you shit in any way ever again!

KAZUTORA (why is there no yellow highlight option?!)

Fully understands and empathizes 100%! Emotional, verbal, physical, financial... you name the type, he's seen and experienced them all! He'd be like your own personal therapist and support system, all in one! He'd listen carefully to you telling him what you went through and how you feel, and never push you to talk about stuff you are not ready to tell him yet. But he'd always make sure you know he'll always be there to offer comfort and support whenever you need it!

"You never deserved any of that, it was never your fault! You are worthy, you are good enough, there is nothing, and I mean, NOTHING wrong with you, you hear me?! You deserve every bit of love this world has to offer you, and I'll do my part as best as I can!"

*gives the warmest, softest, most protective hugs*

MITSUYA

He'd be a bit of a devil's advocate, telling you that you shouldn't harbor hate for your family, that you should try to look at things from a neutral perspective, to realize that they most likely didn't know any better, and that they had unresolved mental issues of their own, and that's why things happened. But his slightly unorthodox reaction actually helps you heal. He'd also be supportive of your decision to cut the contact with your blood family, as he'd more than gladly welcome you into his! Mana & Luna already count you as family anyway!

HARUCHIYO

Another one who would totally understand, and maybe even get lowkey triggered for your sake! If you still haven't gone no contact with your abuser(s), he'll push you to do it.

"Found family is way more important that the blood relations anyway, you cannot choose those. But you have me as family now! And Taichou, he's your family too! (in the good timeline, he instead says Senju is your family, too) And even Mikey and the rest of the gang, they all see you as family. You don't need those scraps back at your childhood home, stop letting them control you, they don't deserve a place in your life!"

[fiercestpurpose]

i’m so fascinated by how a main theme of btvs season 2 is the absolute devastating catastrophe of buffy losing her virginity. it’s kind of shocking to me that the show can talk so candidly and seriously about a 17 year old girl having sex. i love the awkward conversation buffy and her mom have in 2x17, it feels honest and real. i feel like it would be easy to say that it’s misogynistic of the show to have buffy choosing to have sex be a cause of so much suffering for her, but there’s something about her panic and guilt and fear and regret that really rings true for me. what do you think?

Yeah, I think the show is absolutely focused on Buffy and on the consequences that it has for her. 2x14 takes her grief very seriously, and 2x17 takes her fear very seriously.

2x17 in particular is playing on the way that this is both an absolutely normal scenario and something that is unique to Buffy -- like "older boyfriend has sex with girl and then treats her badly and starts stalking her" is something that really resonates as a teenage story, even if it's also about vampires.

I do have trouble with Joyce and her conversation with Buffy -- I never know how we're supposed to read her and her parenting. Like, obviously berating your kid for having bad judgement in dating a guy who turns out to be a stalker is like. not the best parenting. And she does stress that this is Buffy's fault. But also her main messages are that she loves Buffy a lot and feels very frustrated that Buffy is shutting her out and keeping secrets from her (which of course she is). When Joyce blames Buffy, is that the show blaming Buffy or is that the show doing a good job of showing how a loving but flawed parent might realistically react?

I do tend to lean towards the latter, specifically because of the conversation that Buffy and Giles have in 2x14, when he specifically stresses that he still respects her. That conversation really means a lot to me because the Giles/Buffy relationship is one of my favorite things about the show. I also think that that conversation works as a good contrast to the one she has with her Joyce so that the one with Joyce comes across more as Joyce's perspective than as the show bullying Buffy.

There's a vaguely icky cast over it for me just because it's Whedon and it's such an intensely Whedon move and I can sort of see his vaguely icky fingerprints over everything and his interest in making women suffer in particular ways, but I think that's outweighed by the extent to which the narrative cares about Buffy and her experiences and reactions and feelings surrounding her first time + the ensuing fallout.

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 4

CHAPTER FOUUUUUUR! YAY!!! All chapters on A03

Words: 1.6k

TW: signs of a panic attack, death, implied murder

July 19th

It's barely daybreak and we already got bad news. Mom had a stroke last night, so severe that she's now in a coma. I tried talking to Nesta but she didn't reply and just left, Elain still seems in shock. I don't know how I feel, it all just seems going downward right now and there is no way to stop it. Is it possible to feel nothing about mom's stroke? Maybe I am in shock but I don't feel like I am in shock, I just, I feel nothing. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe it does, maybe I am a bad person but if I am a bad person, then mom is a bad person, too.

I'm trying not to think too much about it, Elain and Nesta are more important right now because they do feel something, and I want to make sure that they know I am there for them if they want to talk. I doubt they will but it's always nice to know that there is someone, right?

Also, should we tell dad? Should we tell him soon or wait for some news? He's going to be devastated, like we were when we lost everything because of his antics.

I shouldn't go down this route right now, maybe another time.

Well, I guess it's time now to get ready for school, maybe Rhys will distact me from this shitshow my family is right now.

July 20th

Rhys told me today that he needs to talk to me soon about something important, whenever I have time. I only have time next Saturday and he was okay with meeting in the little park close to school then, so it can't be urgent.

OMG, maybe he's asking me on a date? That MUST be it!! I don't know how I am just thinking about it. Maybe I can borrow a dress from Nesta for Saturday and wear a little makeup. I don't know much about makeup, maybe Elain can help me. This is so exciting. FINALLY!! I'm totally saying yes but not instantly, he took long enough to ask me on a date.

I'll let my hair open, I know he likes it. I did it once and he told me I looked pretty, so that's a given. I also have this perfume I'm only wearing for special occasions, I'll use that, too.

Maybe I can get some details about it in the following week.

This is the best day of my life!!!!

Also, Ianthe has been a bitch to me. Rhys had told me she kept flirting with him after he rejected her a bajillion times and I told her to go away after she tried AGAIN. Unbelievable, right?

Such a shame she smashed her hand in her locker door in the PE changing room where no one could see us her.

I hope it heals just fine, would be sad if it didn't.

July 21st

I'm trying to draw and I just can't. Everytime I try I'm staring at a blank canvas, which is just as blank as my mind. I thought the maybe-date with Rhys would inspire me at least a little but it's impossible. I have a creative block. Even thinking about picking up a pencil or a brush takes all my energy, I never felt this way about painting. Painting was always my escape, I was always good at expressing any feeling through art. Now, I just get angry. I want to take the canvas and throw it away. I like having this diary but it's not the same as painting, I can't express myself in words like I do in sketches and paintings, or even scribbles. That part of me just feels empty now, like someone stole all the colors, all lights and feelings and shapes. It's a void.

Elain looked at my canvas and told me to give it a few days, maybe she's right. It's a stressful time for us all. We will get through this and then we go back to our normal lives because everything will be okay.

I'm trying to tell myself that at least, like Elain does, but there is always a little voice in my head that doubts any happiness will come our way.

The feeling of impending doom is still there, gripping me everyday, reminding me that all is not okay. Maybe it's just a puberty thing, I'm sure Nesta and Elain went through the same thing. I wouldn't know, talking about feelings in the Archeron household is like eating a steak as a vegan. You don't do it.

July 26th

Rhys is dead to me.

He and his stupid father don't exist anymore, not in my world. They are dead. DEAD.

Rhys hadn't invited me to ask me on a date, I didn't get ready, borrowed Nesta's dress, let Elain do my makeup, use my good perfume, because he wanted to ask me on a date. No, he invited me to tell me that he is the reason for ruining my life. My whole family's life. That we have NOTHING! Okay fine, it's his father's fault but what's the difference? I AM SO ANGRY. He just moved here to ruin my father's business because of some stupid deal my father broke. Speaking of father, my father is just as dead to me. He can rot in hell, I hope he rots in prison. My sister's are suffering because of HIM. Because of his decisions, because of Rhysand's family. I hate my father, I hate Rhysand's father, I hate Rhysand.

I must have looked just as distraught as I feel because Nesta knew instantly that something happened when I came home. I told her everything, her and Elain, and she is seething.

I can't believe I fell for Rhysand, I can't believe I fell for a fucking lie.

I'm just so angry I can barely breathe. I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe.

How am I supposed to see Rhysand everyday at school and not scream at him, at the unfairness of it all. How can I ever look at myself, live with myself, for falling foe his tricks to get close to me like a fool.

It was all a lie.

Dad's business was a lie.

Our life was a lie.

Rhysand was a big fucking lie.

I can't breathe.

July 31st

I'm sitting in a train.

The last twenty-four hours five days felt like a bad nightmare, one I just want to wake up from. But it's not a nightmare, is it? It's real.

Mom is dead. They said it was the stroke. Rhysand said it wasn't. I don't know why I believe him but he looked genuine. Maybe I am a fool for trusting him in this but Nesta seems to believe him, too.

Ruining my father's business wasn't the last of Rhysand's father's plans for my father. My father ruined a big deal, now Rhysand's father ruins his life. Meaning that he sends out his men to kill the people my father loves. Which includes my mother. And his daughters.

I think this is how shock feels, feeling like an empty shell. Every movement feels robotic, only muscle memory making me move.

Nesta told me that Rhysand's brothers knocked like crazy on the front door, the tall one was even short of breaking the freaking door down, to warn them about the threat on their lives. Meanwhile Rhysand dragged me out of that diner, kicking and screaming. I didn't want to listen, I didn't want to touch him, but he didn't budge. He brought me to my sisters. Telling me the plan.

The plan to send us away, to a friend who can help us. I think his name was Jurian. We are traveling to him now, he lives in a little city near Austin.

After that we won't be the Archeron’s anymore, we will live under another name, in a city far away.

I don't even know why Rhysand helped us, why would he care. He used me as a pawn for his father and now he helps us running away? I know that he said he never used me but the timing of befriending me seemed convenient. He also said he wouldn't track us after we got our new identities in Austin, but I don't know if I believe him. Maybe his friend will rat us out.

I made a promise to myself when we entered the train station this morning. I promised to keep Nesta and Elain safe, whatever it takes. They used me, they got my mom but they won't get my sister's.

Also, dear diary, this will be my last entry. Nesta wanted me to burn my diary, so it couldn't be tracked to us, but we compromised and I would keep it hidden wherever we end up. Never touch it again.

It was nice to have you as a silent companion as long as it lasted.

Bye

Excerpt from a group chat between Rhysand, Morrigan, Cassian and Azriel

Azriel: They just left Jurian’s house.

Cassian: so, that's it?

Morrigan: no contact anymore, it's to keep them safe, Cassian

Cassian: I know but how sure can we be that Aamon’s men won't track them down?

Rhysand: they won't

Cassian: but can we be SURE

Azriel: yes

Morrigan: Rhys, have you told Feyre?

Rhysand: no, it wasn't the time

Morrigan: there will never be the perfect time to tell someone you love them but it was your last chance

Rhysand: I know

Cassian: maybe it won't be forever

Rhysand: maybe

Morrigan: maybe

Azriel: maybe

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[im-no-jedi]

alright. it’s finally time. after almost four years, the series that radically changed my life is coming to a close. I’ve seen several other people make posts about this, so I think it’s only fair that I write my own. be warned, this is going to be long, rambly, and only somewhat coherent LOL

when this show was first announced, I was shocked. although I had fallen in love with the Bad Batch during their arc in TCW, I was unsure how an entire show surrounding them could work. I was even more skeptical after I saw the trailers, which had this mysterious child show up. and as I’m sure all of you know by now, my feelings quickly turned around just after the first episode. I immediately was endeared to Omega and looked forward to seeing how the rest of their story played out. by the time the first season had ended, I was already deep in the planning stages of writing out my self-insert series, MLWTBB.

I honestly didn’t expect to love this show as much as I do. but I quickly realized why after the first season ended. (I'm gonna sound like a broken record for some of you, I'm sure LOL)

firstly, the characters. like I said, I loved TBB from the moment we saw them in TCW. and I immediately liked Omega as well. but the way these characters have been portrayed and fleshed out has only endeared them to me more. it became clear to me very quickly that these guys were an eerily similar analogy to my own family. I already saw a lot of myself in Hunter, but the rest of my family are very similar to them as well, even down to certain dynamics between each of them. not only that, but their struggles also mirror my family in that we’ve suffered several losses in our lives too. my mom sobbed like a baby when Kamino was destroyed because she saw similarities between that and a similar loss we’d endured irl. which, for me, is why it hits SO much harder when something bad happens to them. Plan 99 was devastating for many reasons, but for me, because I see so much of my dad in Tech, it felt like I was losing both of them. and having already had struggles with my dad irl… yeah. I feel like these guys ARE my family now, which has been the running theme in MLWTBB. and it's been cathartic both seeing them get through their struggles in the show, as well as portray my own struggles through my writing.

speaking of my writing, this show has inspired me so much creatively, that literally nothing else is comparable. I had already ventured into the realms of digital art previously to watching this show, as well as publicly sharing some of my writing. but not only did my art significantly improve due to all the pieces I was drawing for this show... but my writing skyrocketed. I finished writing a fanfic for the first time since I was FOURTEEN. and I've both written and finished several stories since then. and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. my art and writing will continue to flourish long after this show is over, I'm certain of that 😁

another thing is the real life impact this show has had on me. and honestly, this is the big one.

some of you have been following me for over a year or more now, so you'll probably recall the struggles I've had with my mental health, especially last year. I'd suspected that I had some mental disorder for a while now, but it was only last year that I really began to pursue the idea of getting diagnosed and treated. it of course began in therapy, then moved to having discussions with my parents about it. everyone was very supportive of me, thankfully... except for one person. myself. despite all of the work I'd done to move forward in my life, this was the hurtle I was struggling with the most. the fear of the unknown has always terrified me the most, so this unfamiliar territory was like a nightmare-scape to me.

then "The Crossing" happened.

fandom had headcanoned Tech being autistic for a while previous to this episode, myself included. some even liked to think all of them were neurodivergent in some way, again myself included. so when this episode dropped and we basically got the confirmation that our headcanon was correct? that. that was the push I needed. seeing this character that I love SO much in a show that I love SO much not only confirming his neurodiversity, but embracing it??? I literally told my mom that weekend that I was finally ready to get tested. and the rest is history. I'm now officially a part of the ND gang, and I've never regretted it for one second \o/

not only that... but I'm on meds now. meds that have altered my brain in such a way that I've NEVER felt before. my anxiety and depression no longer have a hold on me, and it's all thanks to this show 💙💙💙

and leading into that, the last thing I wanna mention is the connections I've made through this show. my entire family is (mostly) SW fans, so I've always had them to fangirl and discuss SW shows with. but I've missed having friends outside of the family to connect with. it's been YEARS since I've been involved in a fandom that had such a lovely group of people. and I know what some of you might say. and you're right. of course there's toxicity, just like any other fandom. but I can honestly say, I haven't met such a welcoming and friendly group of individuals as I have with this fandom. I've made some real, true, long-lasting friendships because of this show, and I'll be forever grateful for that. do the meds help? absolutely. but remember, I never would've even been on meds rn if not for this show either!!

and on that note, I just wanna call out some of the lovely people I've met, some whom I've only gotten to know recently! 🥰

@photogirl894 my beloved Morgan, my little sis, the Omega to my Hunter. you've been nothing but a joy and a blessing to me since the day I met you. I truly believe the Lord led you to me so that I could properly start this journey towards recovery and growth. I love you SO much, sweetie, thank you for being you 💙💙💙

@heyclickadee my dear friend, the conductor of the Tech Lives train. I've so appreciated your insight and wisdom in regard to all of the insanity. you genuinely helped get me through my depression after Plan 99, and you've continued to uplift me with your positivity and hopefulness. may we finally get to see our nerd alive and well again in your honor 🙏🏻

@clonethirstingisreal sweet Carol!! fellow Hunter simp!! getting to know you has been nothing short of amazing and wonderful! I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see an older fan amongst the young'ins LOL. we've been able to relate to each other in SO many ways, it still astounds me. I look forward to seeing your journey progress in hopefully similar ways to mine! 🥰

@lightwise @freesia-writes @better-to-bee @probadbatch (spacing this out so y'all get tagged properly)

@jedi-hawkins @anxiouspineapple99 @arctrooper69 @sunshinesdaydream and everyone else I've gotten to know both here and on Discord, THANK YOU!!!! thank you for letting me into your lives and for all the joy and laughs we've had together. I consider you ALL my friends, and I'm blessed to have met you all 💙💙💙💙💙

and finally, because I know she'll berate me if I don't mention her too, my best friend and irl sister @jam-n-ham. gurl, we have been through it, haven't we? you've been the sole witness to my reactions every week, and for that, I apologize LOL. but we have fun, at least, right? 😆 we've spent HOURS talking about this show, and I'm sure we'll have many more hours to come. you've also supported me and my writing, which I'm eternally grateful for (even if you can barely stomach the Hunter romance scenes ROFL). I can't wait to add in your additions to the story, and for you to see what I've been cooking up 😁 thanks for always being my no.1 bestie 🥰🥰🥰

I don't feel like rereading this before posting, so if there's any typos or whatever, oh well. the fact that I even got all of this out tonight is a miracle honestly haha. now if you'll excuse me, I have to start compiling every single box of tissues we own before tomorrow 😝

oh, and one last thing. an addendum if you will. I haven't been posting much of my thoughts about the finale for many reasons, but I'll just say this. ever since "The Return", I've been rotating Hunter's last words to Crosshair in my head, on repeat.

enough said✨

[sirianasims]

Samuel stopped visiting us. I spoke to Kailani, but we agreed to let them figure it out themselves. Still, it was hard to watch. Freya wasn’t at all her usual, fiery self.

She had always had quite the temper. I stubbornly claimed that she must have gotten it from Katherine, but I knew that my own temper had been terrible as well, at least before I learned to control it.

It wasn’t too bad when she was younger, but the older she got, the worse her tantrums had become. Like Katherine, she could be glorious in her fury if she felt that something was unfair. But after losing her friendship with Samuel, she became despondent.

Normally, I’d be happy that my teenage daughter was this easy to get along with, but Freya’s lack of snarky comebacks was worrying. She never argued with me, but she also never laughed.

She barely even smiled, except when spending time with either Grace, our boxer, Daisy, or the new cat, Turtle.

The house had felt too empty with just old Mimi left, so we had gotten them to replace Cooper and Zoe.

I knew from experience how helpful pets could be when everything seemed hard to deal with, so I was glad that Freya had bonded so quickly with Daisy, but I was still starting to get worried. Maybe she had inherited my tendency towards depressive episodes? Something needed to change.

“I’m going to bed, goodnight.”

“Freya, I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, dad. Just leave me alone.”

“OK, fine, I get that you don’t want to talk to me, but do you want to talk to your mother, then? Maybe go visit her for a while?”

She turned on me, her voice suddenly dripping with bitterness.

“Oh, so you can once again get rid of me when I’m too much trouble? Like mom did so she could be alone while fucking Conrad? Or like you did when I was little so you could fuck, well, everyone?”

For a moment, I was speechless. Shock, anger and shame were all fighting to take the lead.

“Freya, what the…”

She wiped her eyes and started turning away.

Anger won.

“FREYA! YOU WILL STAY THE FUCK HERE UNTIL I’M DONE TALKING TO YOU!”

She froze, her eyes wide. I had never yelled at her like that before.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. Then I spoke through gritted teeth.

“Talk to me. Now.“

For a moment, neither of us spoke. Freya glared at a spot on the floor, blinking away tears.

I took another deep breath. I felt the connection to my daughter floating in the air like a faint line, thin as a hair.

One wrong move from either of us and it could snap.

My anger dissipated.

“Freya, honey, that was out of line. And so was I. I’m sorry for yelling. You need to tell me what is going on, because I am trying to help you. Why would you think I could ever want to get rid of you?”

And then, finally, she started talking. About how I had never wanted her in the first place, that she was an accident. How she had ruined my life and how no one could ever love her.

Everyone just kept leaving her – me, her mother, Samuel.

I was devastated. I tried to sort through all the half-truths and misunderstandings, to explain to her how loved she was. I explained that I had to let her go when she was little because I was being a terrible father, and how happy I had been when she moved back in four years ago.

I wanted to be completely honest with her. I told her how much I was struggling during the first seven years of her life. With depression, with alcohol. How I had been trying to run away, not from her but from myself, from the guilt of feeling inadequate as her father.

She was quiet through it all, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

“Freya. I love you and Gracie more than anything. You girls are my life. And you were there first. I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready when you arrived, but that was not your fault. Your mother and I made a lot of mistakes, but you are the one thing we ever got right. I’ve done my best to catch up, to be the dad you deserve -“

I stopped, my voice breaking.

Freya stepped closer and clung to me like she was drowning. I held her tight.

“I love you, monkey. Forever and always.”

“I love you too, dad.”

beginning / previous / next

[writingquestionsanswered]

Daughter Terrified of King Father

Anonymous asked: I'm planning renaissance story where a king takes an infant as his ward/hostage because her father was believed to be a rebel leader and the king wanted to control him and extract information out of him. A few days after he was executed, it was found he was not a traitor but framed by his enemies. The king and queen loved the child and raised her like their own. She was close with both of them, but years later when she finds out the truth, she is devastated and scared of her dad/the king. He loves his daughter very much and feels bad to see her devastated. He tries to console her and apologize but she keeps crying and is terrified of him. What could he do to console her and reassure her, take the fear from her mind, and lessen her emotional pain?

[Ask edited for length]

You have the beginnings of something interesting here, but it doesn't quite work as-is for a number of reasons, and I want to get to those before we get to your specific question.

First and foremost, I'm struggling the the basis of the wardship. While taking someone's child as a ward can be an effective means to control them, it's probably not a great way to get information out of them unless the king said, "tell us what we want to know and you get your child back," which is a straight up hostage and not a ward at all. However, this falls apart a bit when the goal is execution, because the father is never going to see his infant again anyway. Also: where is the infant's mother, and why did the king and queen still keep her even after the execution? Are they punishing the mom for the father's apparent rebellion? (We'll circle back around to this in a bit...)

My next concern is I'm not sure why learning "the truth" would make the girl terrified of her father/the king. Executing traitors was a normal part of what monarchies did back then, and the girl would have known this. In fact, if she was raised as part of the royal family, she would likely attend important executions with her family once she was older. It would certainly be shocking to learn that her biological father was executed for treason and was found innocent a few days later--and she could be hurt and angry that this truth wasn't shared with her sooner--but it shouldn't strike fear into her heart. It's not as though her father/the king intentionally murdered an innocent man in cold blood. By executing a traitor, he was doing his duty to protect the kingdom--it wasn't his fault he had bad information. Even if that bad information was the result of negligence on his part, that still shouldn't terrify his adoptive daughter. Disappoint and anger her, yes. Terrify, no.

So, I don't personally feel that "terror" is the right thing to go for here. I think you'd want to concentrate more on the hurt of not being told the truth. Even though she has no connection to her birth parents outside of genetics--and would certainly have no memories of them--people like to know their roots, and she could feel quite betrayed learning that she's not actually of royal blood and that her father was executed for treason. The wrongful part would sting a little bit as well, even though she would hopefully understand that wasn't the king's fault. And then I think learning that there is or was a bio mom out there would sting, too, especially if she has since died and not being told about her sooner robbed the daughter of the chance to get to know her.

I think in this case, the king would console his daughter by explaining the circumstances of what happened. What he believed was true about her father--the reasons why he was believed to be dangerous and needed to be stopped. As well as the fact that he had been framed by his enemies, so the crown believed he was truly guilty of being a rebel leader. He might also try to explain why they chose to keep this information from her why they kept her instead of giving her back to the bio mom (there would need to be a really good reason), and then he might say some things to drive home how much he and the queen genuinely love her and have always seen her as their true daughter.

I hope that helps!

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[bardic-tales]

I noticed you mentioned something happened two years ago. If it’s not prying too much, would you be comfortable sharing what happened?

Hi, Nonny. I hope you are having a good day. I'm going to put this under a read more since it does talk about death.

I want to take some time to thank @prehistoric-creatures for supporting me at the time.

Two years ago, my family lost a cousin in a fatal car crash. She was only 17 at the time on Halloween. This hit my family -- and my daughter -- especially hard. Two years later, my daughter cannot even hear the name of our cousin. She refuses to take a test to get her driver's license. The outcome of the trial wasn't closure or justice at all. Basically the prosecutor said that 'this was a good kid and he made a mistake'. That mistake took away our cousin. Things in my family has never been the same.

Then, we lost my emotional support cat that following June. Not a year had pass and Loki became really sick. He ended up being diagnosis with cancer and was gone a month later. Loki was one of those special animals. I was devastated. That grief combined with losing the cousin earlier just made everything feel like it was imploding around me.

This was when I started to take a long break from Tumblr. I wasn't in the right headspace to participate in Writeblr. All my original stories had a taint to them. I still can't work on them without crying and feeling grief. That's when I decided to devote all my attention to my passion project: Fantasy Worlds Collide.

Almost a year ago, my husband lost his aunt to Covid. This was on last Thanksgiving. It hurt, but I didn't cry. At the time, I was fatigued? I guess shell-shocked? I don't know. All I know is I was numb. The following week, I got a call from my mom. My grandfather, the man who raised me and was like a dad to me, was in the hospital. We knew for a while that he was going downhill, but it didn't prepare me. We lost him last Jan.

I remember crying once when I found out. My husband took off from work that day and we made plans to go to the funeral. It was snowing really bad, so we couldn't go. I live about 4 hours away from where I grew up. We get Lake Effect snow. My grandmother begged me not to go, and I listened to her. After all, it was about her comfort. We didn't attend the funeral. And I feel - Honestly, I don't know how I feel about that, Nonny. I ended up celebrating his life instead by having some of his favorite foods and watching his favorite movies.

The next month, because I was away from Tumblr for so long, I decided to come back and check in with the friends I made on here. I wasn't ready to be back completely. But I found out that one of my closest friends on here passed away while I was gone. I still feel lots of guilt about that, but I know she wouldn't want me to feel that way. That is why I started the Creator's Club: to give back.

As of now, I can't touch any original work that I was working on during the time when all of that happened. I want to continue to work on my passion project. I am in a better place mentally, but there are still times when I go to some really dark places, such as my husband and I were talking and I suddenly started to cry about a month ago.

However, I am the strong one in the family. Everyone is looking at me, so I did a lot of journaling to get to the place where I am. The pain will never go away. I don't think it does when you have five deaths that happened over the span of two years. I just have to keep going one step at a time.

[asktheahogesandblondes]

(pd) saw that's sweet at least you know better now Mr. jime it's Good at least your with the one you love in other worlds she's dead! So I guess that ingrained ultimate luck payed off so I feel others will ask so it's best I ask now howed it happen?

((Apologies for taking so long with this one too, If I omit a detail or two assume it's like in canon))

Hajime:Well, I'm glad Natsumi in this universe is alright...I don't know what I would do if she actually died.

Natsumi:Well...it all started when I entered the reserve course and met Hajime, while he initially looked like all the other losers in there to me, although he certainly was much more good looking, I could tell there was something different about him...and I also found out Sato was there, which also led to some troubles down the line.

Hajime:We talked for more times after this and we got a little closer everytime, but we were busy with other things, like talking with Chiaki and...the Kamukura Project. I was beginning to doubt if I should go through it due to Chiaki's words and my talks with Natsumi...until the accident happen.

Natsumi:I got into a fight with Sato, we said some...very hurtful things that lead up to worse things down the line, Hajime tried to console me and...it helped, just not enough, so I went away to sulk...and then Sato got me...I didn't die, but ended up in a coma.

Hajime:I was devastated when I found that out, I wanted to do something, I wanted to help...but the security guard kicked my ass and told me that without talent I wasn't worth shit...and after what happened with Natsumi, I decided to finally go through it, becoming Izuru Kamukura...and basically lost all will to do anything, because when you're so perfect and can predict anything...wants the point? Which led me to be easily manipulated by Junko. Who then killed Chiaki and brainwashed Class 77 into Super High School Level Despair to wreck the world.

Natsumi:I woke up eventually...together with Sato, turns my brother to take revenge put her in a coma too, we woke up, we fought each other before deciding to call it quits for a while and try to find out what happened...then we were approached by Makoto, Despair Bitch and their survivor friends. After explaining everything that happened we were shocked...and angry with Despair bitch too. A few murder attempts later we calmed down and they explained to me that they were coming up with a plan to undo the brainwashing on my brother and his friends, so they sought us out to help them with it since we're friends with quite a few of them too, especially my brother and Mahiru...so reluctantly me and Sato teamed up and we agreed to help, not like we have any other place to go anyways...

Hajime:I was not pleased to find out Junko had been beaten by Makoto and given up on Despair, because not only did she prove to be all talk in her Despair and wasn't as unpredictable as she tried to sell it as, but it also means I was pretty much used by her...for nothing, I wanted to get back at her...but once I found her I realized she wasn't the same as before, not only was she already defeated, but she also found out she did everything for nothing, I couldn't get back at her like that...though that was left to the say when I met Natsumi again, alive and well...

Natsumi:I was fucking pissed at Hajime for everything, why did he help Junko do all that? Why didn't he stop her? Why did he throw his life away to become just an emotionless husk? I know he was desperate for talent...I understand that feeling very well, but it still hurts that he did that...and especially cause he was unrecognizable at that point, he was something else now...and it didn't help that I was so alone then, my mom and dad are dead, my brother and Peko were not themselves at the time, they took the clan with them, so I had nothing at the time...

Hajime:I did feel bad about it, even if I couldn't understand why at the time. But I was told of the plan and decided to help...because I had one idea to get back at the Junko who manipulated me. I helped round out Class 77 to Jabberwock island, and before we got into the Neo World Program, I slipped the Junko AI I got from Shirokuma and Kurokuma...I wanted to see which was truly unpredictable:Hope or Despair? Also to have my revenge against Junko before she changed, though I got a little cocky since I wasn't gonna be my talented self, instead I was me before I ever entered Hope's Peak.

Natsumi:Me and Sato joined too to help the AIs (which was a recreation of Chiaki and a rabbit called Usami) in the system reform my brother, Mahiru, Peko and the others. We didn't know about the mess we involve ourselves into, it started a bit rough at the start because everyone would be nervous to be suddenly be teleported to a tropical island...we actually were having a good time at first, my presence put my brother in a better mood so he was less on edge, me and Sato tried to not fight to not cause problems...although people found it weird that me and her were there even though we didn't have talents and the ones that do know us found it weird that we were acting different now...and I also took my chance to hang around with Hajime.

Hajime:I woke without any memory of what I went through, I ended up meeting Natsumi and the others again for the first time, she tried to hang around me and get to know me better alongside Nagito who introduced everyone to me, I also didn't remember anything of the reserve course, so I thought I actually had one I just didn't remember...oh, the irony. But we were having a good time together...until Monokuma showed up.

Natsumi:Me, Sato, Chiaki and Usami had no idea what was going on, why Monokuma was there, I thought Junko had betrayed us...but I felt there was something telling me that was wrong. But what mattered then was that not only Monokuma was there, but he got control over the system, even defeating Usami and turning her into Monomi, then proceeded to make this calm rehabilitation trip into another fucking killing game, which put everyone on edge and on danger...And then revealed that not only where they were missing one year worth of memories but also that there was three traitors among us.

Hajime:So everything went from bad to worse, everyone was on edge, including myself. Natsumi and Nagito hanged around me and were trying to clam me down, eventually impostor, who was disguised as Byakuya at the time, suggested we have a get together to relax...but it actually was to stay vigilant of everyone since he knew a murder would happen, Fuyuhiko didn't feel like going and Natsumi decided to stay with him to protect him and calm him down, Sato hovered over Mahiru so I was mostly with Nagito...we were having a good time...until that blackout...and the murder of Impostor happened.

Natsumi:So everything was going to shit, luckily me and Sato saw some re-runs of the Killing School Life, so despite admittedly being nerve-wracking we knew what to do, especially cause that Nagito guy knew what to do...which was not a very good thing. Cause at the class trial we found out he set everything up to kick-start the first murder, the bastard had a sick obssesion with "Hope" and Despair, like a sick combination of Makoto and Despair bitch. But he wasn't the one who murdered Impostor, it was Teruteru who took the opportunity to murder and get away with it. We decided to tie Nagito up for the time being since he was way too dangerous to be left alone to do as he wishes.

Hajime:So as you can see I wasn't in the best of moods after finding out Nagito's true nature and the death of Teruteru, Natsumi stayed close to me trying to cheer me up, I guess to repay for all the times I cheered her up before this mess started. The second island became available because Monomi managed to defeat the Monobeast guarding it, in the second island we were given the second motive:A bastardization of Twilight Syndrome, at the start we didn't want to play it but eventually we found out what it was...It's about Natsumi and Sato's feud that led them both to be in coma.

Natsumi:Naturally we weren't happy when we found out about this, me and Sato decided to play it without people knowing and yeah...it pissed us off, especially cause Monokuma tried to make it seem like we died there, probably to make us look suspicious and make us seem like the traitors...which we were, but obviously without context it made us look bad...we also ended up...Bonding? I mean it's hard to believe but literally having an entire game about our stupid fights knowing what it caused down the line made us realize we made everything worse by it...also dunking on the game was fun. But anyways, we tried to stop everyone else from playing the game...but my brother sneak out with Peko to play it, which caused him to become distant of me and even more suspicious of Mahiru and Sato. Until he tried to confront her about it which almost turned out ugly cause Mahiru also got involved somehow and things were getting heated...but we remebered what happened everytime emotions go the best of us, me and Sato calmed everything down to the point were able to stop them by explaining that Monokuma lied to them and telling them...part of the truth, enough that they could believe and understand us, so things finally were patched up and no murder or coma happened...again.

Hajime:As that had happened Nagito had been set free and investigated the game alongside us, he managed to uncover the truth about the game but decided to keep it to himself since neither he, me or the others knew all that was going on at the time. During that time I came across some ruins that would become important later, but Monokuma did tell me it belonged to the "World Ender" organization that "Ended the world as we know it" which does make sense when you look it from the angle of SHSL Despair...leaving that aside, we finally we're able to access the third island after Monomi defeated another Monobeast. We looked for more clues while Fuyuhiko decided to finally open up to us and reveal that he and Natsumi knew Peko from before, Natsumi didn't tell me out of respect for them which I don't mind at all. After that I managed to discover information about the tragedy and Nekomaru sacrificed himself to save Akane who choose to fight Monokuma...Then Sato, Nagito, Ibuki and Akane contracted the Despair Disease, a blatant chea-I mean just another way for Monokuma to try and kill us.

Natsumi:The Despair Disease made people act the opposite of how they usually are, in Sato's case it made her despise Mahiru with all her soul and talk to her like she was trash...which was surprising to see not gonna lie, but me, Hajime, Mikan and my brother stayed behind to take care of the sick while the others remained safe, me, Hajime and my brother bonded more although I still kept the full truth away from then...then at one point Hajime had a nightmare about his time in the reserve course and...I tried to cheer him up the same way he tried to all those years ago, not just because it lead to this mess but because I genuinely wanted to...but then Ibuki died. Luckily this time the Nagito guy wanted to help us completely and we managed to discover who it was:Mikan, who contracted the Despair Disease and made her remember her time as a SHSL Despair...she wasn't too happy cause she loved Despair bitch and then found out she...was basically a side bitch. So she found no hope in living or love...which would explain why she was so off once she contracted the disease...still, I feel bad for her.

Hajime:Then after that we found out Nekomaru came back as a robot called Mechamaru, we also gained access to the fourth island after Monomi defeated another Monobeast, we had fun at the roller coaster because we could also gain a prize which was the Future Foundation File of the Killing School Life. Then after some discussion with Monomi we rode a train to the Funhouse...which was a trap to lock us on there and let us starve until we killed someone...if it's looking like Monokuma is just looking for any excuse for us to die at this point, that's completely intentional and you'll find out later, what matters is that we ended up trapped in there starving until we killed someone, we ended up having a very miserable time there...eventually Nekomaru was killed and this time "for good"...and during the investigation Nagito managed to clear the Final Dead Room, uncovering the secrets of the Funhouse, how Nekomaru was killed...and because he played Russian Roulette on Super Hard Mode he ended up winning the biggest prize:The sequel to the Future Foundation file we got earlier, containing everything from our memories, our identities as SHSL Despair, everything we did during and after the school, the truth about Natsumi, Sato and the virtual world we were in...he didn't take the news well, which being honest I don't blame him too much.

Natsumi:The guy approached us later through the secret passage he gained access to for completing the Final Dead Room. He explained what he found out but didn't say squat about most of the info he found about the file, he ripped that info out and just started shitting on Hajime for being a reserve course...and also for being part of the SHSL Despair, because he certainly hated him far more than he hated me and Sato...but despite that I got angry and told him to fuck off, that to me Hajime was amazing even if he didn't have any talent. He decided to leave for now and focus on the case...and yeah, he didn't like the others after learning the truth. But regardless of that he did help us crack the case open and out Gundham as the culprit, who collaborated with Nekomaru to kill one another so we didn't starve to death. After that we finally managed to escape the funhouse and the next morning Fuyuhiko and Mahiru asked what did Nagito mean with calling Hajime a Reserve Course Student. He explained that to them and, predictable, they didn't have a problem with it, they're not that type of people...but I knew Hajime was going to be bothered by and no words of acceptance was going to suddenly make him feel better, not just because I knew what happened...but because I could relate to him.

Hajime:Natsumi made me company during the trip to the new island Monomi uncovered, she said she understood how it feels to not have talent, I didn't really believe that at first because she was a person with plenty of amazing qualities who could have become the SHSL Yakuza if she wanted...but then turned that back on me saying the same applies to me in her eyes...it was one of the few times people believed on me aside from Chiaki and Nagito before our relationship soured, it helped even if that feeling of inferiority didn't go away...and I think my forgotten crush on her started to resurface because of that. But leaving that aside after seeing how weird Nagito started acting after the third class trial we choose to come up with a plan to capture him because he was getting too unpredictable and dangerous...it didn't went well, he concocted a plan to kill everyone but one of the traitors, in a way to stop the SHSL Despair from ever raising again and he did it via relying on his luck...it involved bluffing about blowing up the island while he set up an elaborate murder/suicide to get one the traitors to indirectly kill him and become the blackened, although it was also to engineer a conflict between Hope and Despair like he loves to do so much...eventually...and despite how much we didn't want to...we managed to discover Chiaki was one of the traitors and Nagito's killer, she and Monomi were executed right after...

Natsumi:After that, Nagito left one final message for all of us telling us to go to the ruins from the second island and the code form Netsumi's castle, said some personal things and then told us there was a next part that could only be heard by me and Sato. We decided to respect his final wishes and he told us that he knew everything about this world and us, told us we should tell the others the truth so we could face what's ahead of us...and even though we didn't met eye to eye, we accepted. So we went to the ruins while the simulation was starting to glitch and collapse on us. Everyone that didn't know at this point realized that this was a simulation and we ended up teleported to a recreation of Hope's Peak Academy where the Killing School Life took place, Monokuma showed up to tell us to find every secret on there and...me and Sato finally decided it was time to tell the truth, first I went with Hajime and then Sato went with Fuyuhiko, Mahiru, Hiyoko and Peko, along the way we started to investigate I started revealing Hajime all that's been happening, the truth of this world and what they done...naturally he didn't took it too well, but I told him that regardless of what came ahead...we would take on it together, I wasn't gonna turn away from it and neither would he...but there was still things even I didn't know, like why Monokuma showed up in the fist place, but turns out we found out through a message from Alter Ego and Makoto someone implanted a Virus in the program that turned it into a Killing Game...and it wasn't Despair Bitch, as everyone made absolutely sure she couldn't tamper with it and even she was surprised by this...but that would come to light very soon, cause the final class trial started...

Hajime:Most of us already arrived knowing what was going on, it was still shocking but I guess absorbing the information earlier gave us time to assimilate for the final trial. We realized that the ones that died here might never wake up again, Monokuma gave us the choice to either graduate or stay in the island forever...then Makoto appeared for the first time in front of us trying to convince us to graduate...however given what we knew of them, especially Natsumi and Sato, we realized this one was a fake and eventually Monokuma revealed to be AI Junko, an artificial intelligence created from the same technology as Alter Ego and based on Junko before her change of heart (or well, retirement to be more accurate), the trial kept going and then the real Makoto showed up, alongside Byakuya and Kyoko while the others didn't have time to enter yet and Junko stayed behind for certain reasons. They told us about the emergency shutdown sequence that needed at least 8 people to trigger it. We had more than enough for that, AI Junko told us about her nonsensical plan for Junkoland...not gonna spend much time on it because even the real Junko told me she was probably just making shit up as she went along and that plan was dumb...Then she revealed that I was the one that caused this by uploading the AI while nobody was looking...yeah, not my smartest move looking back. Then she told us if we shut down the sequence we will lose memories of what happened, so we were stuck in what's basically an impossible situation and we were breaking down, she even infected us with Despair to try and break us, it might have worked for a bit...but...

Natsumi:I'm not exactly sure how I did it or what happened, but Chiaki pulled me in into a dream sequence with Hajime, I was just as confused as she was but once she started talking I understood:We told Hajime that his past and lack of talent doesn't define him or anyone, that he can create his own future as long as he believes in himself...and I knew that well, not only because I genuinely believed he could do it, but because I finally believed in myself too, if I could finally accept that I could stand side by side with my brother then we both could stand side by side against whatever the world threw at us, so Hajime finally started to believe in myself and...well, I don't know what is with boys, class trials and being so utterly awesome towards the end. But Hajime did the coolest thing I ever seen.

Hajime:I finally managed to reconcile with myself and merge with Izuru, becoming awakened in the process. I managed to rally everyone present to shut this game down and make our own futures. Because everyone can do that, even the real Junko could pull through that pit of despair she thought she would never get out...and if she could do that, then there was no reason to listen to this one, not that I needed that to convince them, because nobody was going to go through this alone. We shut the game down and finally awoke in the real world, after getting used to the real world again, the others left for business they had to take care of...which was good because Junko was there and weren't in the mood to have a confrontation there. Natsumi and Sato stayed with us as we worked in a way to wake up the ones that died from their coma, which I was able to do thanks to my talents...and it felt so good to do so, to finally make something good with them.

Natsumi:After that we helped the others from one mess they got with the Future Foundation and then decided to live in Jabberwock island together...since most of them are still not well liked there and don't want to be in House Arrest like Despair Bitch, we get help from the Future Foundation to live there, me and Sato still go help in mainland and go help there, we even have jobs there...and after we fully settled there, me and Hajime finally confessed our feelings for each other and promised that whatever we faced now, we will do so together and nobody but us will decide our future.

Hajime:So there you have our love story. I did many fuck ups during it and things I regret...but nowadays I just keep looking into the future with the people I love.

Natsumi:Same here, I'm going to stand proud with the people I love and face our future together, talent or no talent...

[moonstonedrawsrandomly]

A Lamb and a Worm 7🟢

Leshy and Noelle have been living together for about a month now since Leshy returns from his “scavenge”. They both have picked up a routine.

Since Leshy doesn’t have many servants around him, Noelle is free to roam around his palace. They eat together, work together, and in a sense, sleep together. Leshy and Noelle were still trying to figure out this whole mystery behind Gaia and also Narinder’s energy behind the scenes.

“Mom, it doesn’t seem possible that Narinder got out, is someone else using his crown maybe?”

Leshy said to Noelle’s wings.

“No dear. That can’t be right. As I said, even if he was using someone else’s power, they would be obvious about it. Also, Noelle said that Moses can’t even use Fernilla’s power at 100%. It kill the host and Fernilla would be devastated by his death.”

She said. The two of them had to think.

“So we figured out it was his power, but how do we prove it?”

Noelle said, but then Leshy remembered something.

“Was he looking for a new host? One that can’t be touched by bishops…someone like…Noelle?”

He said. Noelle looked at Leshy confused. Even Gaia couldn’t wrap her head around it.

“Why Noelle? And why not Moses?”

Gaia asked. It sounded like Leshy wasn’t telling them something.

“I- Nevermind. I heard that there was a prophecy after we sealed Narinder. That after his sealing, the lamb of prophecy will come to free him. And…knowing the plight of the lambs right now…there are basically extinct. Minus you and Moses”

Noelle shook her head.

“It’s gotten that bad, huh? Damn”

“Noelle, do not lose faith my dear! When I am released, I will open an investigation into the matter, okay? We’ll find out what happened to your people”

Noelle nodded. Leshy was silent. He dreaded the day they find out what the bishops did to her people. And what Gaia will do when she finds out that it was her own Kin that did it. For the time being, it was getting late so Gaia let the two go for the night. Leshy moves his bed so Noelle could go in but this time, he goes in with her.

“Hey, can we talk?”

He said. Noelle nodded. He sits next to her on the bed. He runs his hands through her soft, cotton candy like hair.

“Um…I don’t want to upset you, but…I feel like if I don’t tell you something, you’ll hate me. And I don’t want you to hate me”

Noelle looked puzzled.

“Why would I hate you? You single handedly saved my life! I cannot be more grateful to you. Please, say what’s on your mind”

She said. He did tell her but he was very vague.

“I…something happened to your peoples that involved the prophecy. I believe some…gods got scared and went on a killing spree…on order to keep Narinder in there…I’m not sure of the other details”

Noelle looked shocked.

“What?!?”

“Yeah, it’s bad. I…don’t know that rest of the details, but you can tell Gaia what I told you, because I don’t think she knows either”

He said. Noelle thanked him.

“Thank you for telling me what you know, your very kind”

She said and she smiled at him. That smile melted his heart, but in embarrassment, he gets up quickly.

“A-alright. Goodbye-I mean good night!”

He said and he vacated the room. Noelle giggles.

“Ah, I remember my first love, it’s a wonderful feeling when they’re clueless!”

Gaia giggled as well. Noelle was flushed red

“Hey! You said you’d give me privacy!”

“I did, but it seems like you two are getting closer so soon. What changed?”

Gaia asked. Noelle blushes.

“I…I don’t know, really. I think…he’s very charming.”

Gaia smiles as she listens to Noelle talk about Leshy. What a wonderful young man he’s turned out to be. And what a woman he’s found.

“Well, I’m glad you two are getting along. Going back to the situation for the time being, we need to get more information. I believe Shamura has a secret library in the back of his own study in his palace. You would need Leshy to get there first, but I don’t think he’d be able to get there, his servants are very watchful of their Bishop”

She said. So Noelle had to tell Leshy that in the morning. Noelle looks up to the ceiling.

“My people…are all gone…”

She thought. She silently weeped as Gaia listened to her small cries.

“I promise you…we will get to the bottom of this…”

She said. Gaia sits in her chair, looking out in the dimension she was trapped in, wondering what the world looked like after she left.

TBC

[baby-yaga]

yesterday, post burial, on our way back to the church to grab a plant, my mom told me, "love him for who he was, dont hate him for who he wasnt. thats the best way to go through life without baggage." and i get where she was coming from, but i dont think thats right.

sometimes people say that the opposite of love isnt hate, its indifference. i did love my dad. i also hated him. they never cancelled each other out. i can love him for his warmth, his humor, his intelligence, his gregariousness, and still hate him for his absence, the abuse, the neglect, how he gave so much of himself to everyone else but his 3 children.

im haunted by my mom telling me that my dad once told her, "if i knew then what i know now, we never wouldve gotten divorced." i cant even picture what that wouldve been like. there was a brief period after my dad left his late wife, where he was living with us again. my parents werent together, it was basically a roommates situation, and in all honesty it was the best part of my teen years.

we had all been through a lot. his late wife was abusive to pretty much everyone in her life, except when she was passed out on oxy. i was deeply resentful of my dad remaining married to her despite how horribly she treated my brother and i, and also him. when she passed away, we were all having dinner with my sister, and when my dad told trey and i what happened, i think it was really shocking to him that we looked at each other, and replied, "good."

but when he lived with us again, it was weird, but it wasnt bad. i liked having him around all the time. i liked getting to spend time with him for real. he picked me up from school, we ate dinner together, watched movies, i started going to the gym with him. we were living together when i went on my first date ever. we were living together when i came out to him. we were living together when i tried to kill myself.

but it didnt last forever. he moved in with a new girlfriend eventually. he kept it a secret, so when he moved in without telling me before hand, i was so mad. i wouldnt go over to their place, a duplex that was less than 5 minutes from our house. i wouldnt meet his girlfriend. i think i was hurt beyond words that he was breaking up our family again, but i didnt realize that until just now.

he tried to force it one night, wanted to ground me if i didnt come. we got into a tug of war match over my laptop in the entry way. i was so frustrated, hurt, i felt so un-heard, i screamed, "i hate you! i never want to see you again!"

he looked surprised. then, he looked devastated. he put down my laptop gently on the entryway table, and left without a word.

he called that night, and explained himself. he said something like, "a friends son passed away recently. i just dont want to lose our relationship."

i said, "im sorry that happened, dad. but i wish you wouldnt try to make me feel bad just because you feel bad."

he replied, "so im just supposed to feel miserable by myself?"

i dont remember what i said exactly. it was something to the effect of, "fine! keep making everyone around you miserable, until you have no one around but yourself!" i slammed the phone down. this was in like, 2008 or so, so we still had a landline, lol.

we didnt speak for 2 weeks. he picked up my brother to come sleep at his place, didnt speak to me, and then would leave. i didnt know that what i wanted was for him to move back in for good. it wasnt reasonable, really. he wanted to date, i think he felt weird about it while living with my mother, and also he didnt have his own room, he was sleeping in a bunk bed with my brother. so i understand now why him moving out happened. but at the time i was so upset hed kept it a secret from me. i still think that was the wrong move. if hed been open about it, given me some time to adjust without springing it on me, it mightve gone a little smoother.

anyway, the night i spoke to him again. he was coming over to pick up trey again. i started crying and threw myself at him. i said i was sorry over and over. i missed him so much. i loved him so much. i just wanted him to be my dad again.

he just held me, and rocked me back and forth. he kissed the top of my head and said, "its ok, its ok." we stood like that for a long time, until i stopped crying. i met his new girlfriend that night. they showed me the room theyd prepared, a bed and everything, for my brother and i to share. it was the first time id ever had a place to stay at his house. before, i was sleeping on the couch, or, when my step-brother was in basic training, i got to sleep on his futon. it meant so much to me.

i miss him. ive missed him my whole life, it seems. missing him isnt new. but this is different. it feels like theres an empty pit inside of me that i was positive was bottomless, but its somehow gotten deeper.

[lipglossanon]

hellooooo, back at it again with these intrusive leon thoughts>:)

this time though, it could be because my period is getting close, but i feel pretty down lately and these intrusive thoughts are winning soooooo

Leon angst anyone?

its not anything too deep really, just poor lil reader catching leon at the wrong time :(

like she's just chilling in her room, playing with her phone and all, but then she decides to go down to the kitchen to get smth to eat cuz she's a bit hungry. she's about to step down the stairs and turns around a corner when she suddenly hears a female voice, an unknown female voice. peaking around from behind a wall, her eyes widen in shock as a heavy feeling drops down to her stomach, nothing but a painful ache in her heart at the devastating sight in front of her. right on the couch in the living room, she sees her step brother, his arms wrapped tightly around some girl she's never seen before; they're both smiling and laughing with each other, seems to be watching some kind of movie that they're clearly not paying attention to. for some reason, her heart tightens up so bad that she feels like she couldn't breathe at all; it feels like a heavy weight is on her shoulders as her breath hitches in her throat. why is she feeling this way? it's not like she's together with leon, or at least not romantically. that thought only makes her feel even worse. unknown to her, tears begin to fill her eyes and slide down her cheeks as she cries quietly. not feeling hungry anymore, she slowly goes back up to her room and locks the door, sitting at the edge of the bed again. even then she can still hear their laughter downstairs, as if they're taunting her. laying on the bed with a small thump, she cries silently into her sheets as her body shakes a bit from the hurt she's feeling. she doesn't even come down to eat dinner no matter how many times her mother knocks on her door and basically orders her to come down, all she can think of is leon with that girl. who the hell even is she?

her body tenses up immediately when she hears his voice on the other side of the door, "sweetheart? can you open the door?"' his hand twists the doorknob as he knocks the door softly. she doesn't respond back to him, just laying there with tears now getting dry on her cheeks. leon stops after a while and sighs, then suddenly she can hear the sounds of keys jiggling outside, making her slightly panic.

"I'm coming in." opening the door, he frowns at the sight of her body laying still on her bed, not turning to look at him excitedly like she used to.

"hey princess, what's wrong? come on you gotta talk to me. Mom's really worried you know?" finally slowly turning to leon, his concern expression turns to a shock one when he sees her red and puffy eyes. quickly getting closer to her and pulling her to his chest, he coos softly and pats her hair gently.

"baby what's wrong? who made you cry?" his comforting tone gets a bit hostile when he asks the last question, but it immediately changes when she answers.

"you."

BOOM CLIFFHANGER MWAHAHAHA. i might add more since i need more time to think but yeah feeling quite down right now and leon's brain rot isn't helping much.

may i have a small blurb about this if ur comfortable at writing angst? :)

Yooo you’re back at it again with the feels ;_; but I get emotional before, during, and after my period so this hits so hard it’s not even funny 😔

Noo not Leon accidentally breaking her heart 😢 please I need closure 😭 who is the girl? Why were they snuggled on the couch? I have unanswered questions!! 😫

I’d love to write one! I’ll try my best cause angst is hard for me 🤣 mainly cause I want even fictional people to be happy (life is sad enough lmao). You have any more ideas for this?? I want any and all info you have haha 😂 so my mental picture matches yours 😆