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#i feel also them waiting for anniversaries to release things is so. STUPID.
mxdotpng · 1 year
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the world if tales of games were accessible. i know many of their developers have said if symphonia does good they'll hope for more remakes/remasters but i feel if they actually believed in that then they would have already begun doing that after arise's release and success.
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kytrisz · 9 months
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ruin | Pedro Pascal
| pairing. pedro pascal x reader
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It's supposed to be perfect. Everything is meant to be perfect. It's a well-thought-out plan that is thoroughly prepared for months when he's away for shooting. This was supposed to make up for his shortcomings. To show that he's sorry for being an absent prick and that he loves you. He loves you more than everything, even more than life itself. But why can't he do it? Why can't he make everything right? Why can't he just be deserving of your lo—
A powerful thunderstorm flashes across the night sky, whisking Pedro away from the loud voices in his head. Blinking a few times, Pedro shook his head to scan his surroundings and realized he was in the car with you in the passenger seat, who was staring at him worriedly.
Ah... now he remembers.
This was your supposed getaway, to make up for you, to make up for his absence during your anniversary. You were meant to go to the beach house he rented for two weeks. But instead of being in bed with you in his arms, enjoying the peace and quiet. The two of you are stranded in a fucking stupid car in the middle of nowhere with fucking rain pouring harder by the second.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Pedro screamed releasing his frustration as he repeatedly banged his palm on the steering wheel.
A hand the brush in his arm trying to calm him down, "Hey, babe, P, it will be alright—"
Pedro shook his head, "but it's not! it's not fucking alright!" This time he leaned on the steering wheel, and with eyes closed, he dropped his head with a thump.
Why can't he do anything right? Thump.
Why is he so messed up? Thump.
Why is he so messed up? Thump.
A hand was placed on his cheek, preventing him from banging his head even further, and he was slowly dragged away from the steering wheel, facing the owner.
Pedro's rage was quickly wiped away by guilt as he stared at you. He felt worthless. Breaking the eye contact he whispered, "I'm sorry" repeatedly.
Your heartache hearing that, "Hey, hey, it's not your fault." stroking his cheeks with both of your hands.
"But it is. It is. It is supposed to be great, perfect even. Just the two of us having peace for once, but here we are stuck in the middle of a storm because of this stupid car, and it's all my fault!"
Sigh, you despise it when Pedro acts this way, blaming himself for things that aren't his fault. "Hey, don't say that."
When he is about to open his mouth to argue, you shush him, putting your thumb into his lips.
"Look at me.", when he didn't move, you pleaded "Please." 
“It's not your fault”, you say while looking into each other's eyes and caressing your thumb in his cheeks.
It took a moment of silence and staring before Pedro sighed "Alright, alright... I'm sorry I went mental."
"You are always mental," you chuckle, attempting to help him loosen up, which works as he lets out a loud laugh.
"Also I got news, I received a text from the nearby repair shop they said they'll be on their way but it might take some time because of how hard the rain is pouring. So, while we wait for a bit we can do something fun!"
Pedro looks at you as if you've gone insane. "Yeah, let's have fun here inside of a car that is stuck in the middle of nowhere."
You laughed as you listened to him rant on. He's such a drama queen no wonder being an actor does suit him, you said to yourself.
In the middle of his outburst, your attention was drawn outside. You always love the rain. 
It always makes you feel comfortable and at ease, and it's probably the reason you're staying cool in this situation. But what you love the most is the feeling of the continuous splatter of the rain in your skin. It washes your worries, problems, and pain to the ground until you become free from them.  
So, without thinking or caring about the person next to you, you open the door and walk outside. The world becomes silent as you feel the rain connect to you. 
You spin around with your arms extended. You laugh as you enjoy the cool breeze of the rain. Returning your gaze to the car, you proceed to the driver's door, where the window has been rolled down.
 "Come out, it's fun!" you called Pedro. 
"You should be the one coming inside! God y/n you'll get sick!"
Rolling your eyes from his response, you open the door, startling Pedro from inside "Are you crazy! You will get everything here wet! "
Such a princess, you told to yourself. Grabbing him in the arm you drag him out of the car ignoring his protest.
"y/n, I'm fucking wet! Stop laughing!" Pedro groans making you laugh even harder as you swirl in the rain.
Staring at you looking carefree and not bothered about the current situation, Pedro can't help but feel his heart race. It always makes him wonder and a bit jealous of how you can still be optimistic when the world already crashing down. 
Then you surprised him one more when you bowed down and offered your hand to him like a gentleman. "Shouldn't I be the one doing that?" Pedro raised his eyebrows. 
"Well, my dear, the world is changing," amused by his question. "So would you sir allow me to dance you in the rain."
Pedro looks at you for a few seconds before he sighs in defeat. Placing his hand on your palm, you put your hand on his shoulder, while his others placed on your waist, and the two of you waltz in the lost in your own world that’s filled with love and laughter.
 Maybe everything is not ruined at all.
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leaderpinhead · 9 months
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Malleus - Mundane Affairs
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As the heir to Briar Valley, Malleus admittedly expected a certain level of respect. Sometimes it came in the form of silent (and in Sebek’s case, loud) admiration. In many cases, the respect was tinged with fearful awe. No matter what end of the spectrum they lie, many, if not all, would agree it was below his station to participate in most mundane activities. 
Still, he found himself more amused than offended following the Ramshackle prefect through the Mystery Shop. Her angry little huffs sounded like a small kitten’s sneezes. “I swear, Sam rearranges his shop every week just to mess with me.” 
Malleus’s already small grin widened. They turned up one aisle, startling an Ignihyde student they encountered. Yuu ignored him, focused entirely on her goal, but Malleus offered a polite nod. The boy sputtered when he returned the nod and quickly fled. Malleus absently noted his fear before dismissing him entirely. “I am sure Sam takes immense pleasure singling you out amongst the student body.” 
“Oh, hush.” Malleus chuckled in response to the prefect’s unapologetic disgruntlement. He followed her to the other side of the store. “There’s only one thing I come here to get every week, and without fail, it’s not in the same place twice.” 
Malleus’s eyes flitted across the wall of candy they passed. His eyes lingered on the green dragon candy for a second longer than the others. “Do stores not usually change the location of their inventory?” 
“In my experience, no,” Yuu huffed. She paused and glared at a small bin of items in the back of the store. Malleus leaned over to examine the items. They were an odd group with seemingly no relation except the bright yellow stickers declaring them as Clearance! “It all stays in relatively the same location except seasonal stuff.” 
Malleus hummed. “Is that why the display at the front of the store reflects current holidays?” 
“Yep.” Yuu turned and walked the length of the store’s back wall. Her kitten sneezes started again. “That’s the stuff Sam wants to sell quick.” 
“Interesting,” Malleus muttered. They encountered another student, this one wearing Savanaclaw’s yellow-orange vest. The beastman’s round ears perked, and Malleus grinned in obvious amusement when the boy released an involuntary hiss. “I have seen an inordinate number of students wearing the headband with large round ears lately. Is that in response to a human holiday?” 
“I actually have no idea what that’s about,” the prefect answered. She sidled past the agitated boy and continued on her quest. The boy tried to buck up at Malleus, but he wasn’t able to maintain eye contact long enough for Malleus to feel intimidated. The boy shuffled off with his slender tail tucked around his ankles. “I think it’s something to do with an anniversary? Ace just made fun of me when I asked.” 
“I will apply further research on the topic later,” Malleus assured. He was curious now that he understood the significance of the odd attire. It certainly wasn’t an anniversary celebrated in Briar Valley. “For now, I will point you in the direction of your desired item.” 
Yuu stopped mid-step, twisting on her heel to face him. “Have you known where it was the entire time?” Malleus’s chuckle made her cheeks balloon. “Hornton!” 
“I have been told it builds character to dedicate a certain amount of work towards a desired goal,” Malleus teased. In truth, he had wanted to spend a bit more time with the prefect after she had caught him strolling across the campus alone and invited him on her shopping trip. It was rude not to make the most of an invitation. “Admittedly, I also assumed you would eventually strike upon the right path and find your desired outcome.” 
“Stop being so elusive and show me where the stupid tuna is.” 
Malleus chuckled and led Yuu back to the front of the store where a display of tuna cans sat beside a small mound of anthropomorphic mouse dolls. He patiently waited for her to debate herself on buying the special edition cans, as they were not the usual brand she bought Grim. Once she had a small stack in her arms, he carefully placed one of the mouse ear headbands on her head, smirking at her disgruntled glare when he refused to take it off her head. He slipped Sam a few extra coins for the headband when they checked out. 
Heir or not, participating in mundane, everyday affairs had its perks. Especially when he was rewarded with a small bag of green dragon candy the next time he ran into the prefect. He saw no issue with accepting a similar invitation from her a few weeks later. 
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tommyspeakycap · 3 years
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nsfw alphabet - andy robertson
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A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He's a sweaty cuddler after sex. He doesn't care that neither of you have cleaned up or that you're both hot, sweaty and sticking together. He couldn't care less. Andy loves to pull your naked body as close to him as you can get with his fingers drawing lazy patterns on your bare skin until you fall asleep comfortably in his arms.
B - Body part (their favourite body part of yours and of their own)
Of yours, has to be your boobs. He just loves them. Loves to knead them between his hands, rolling your nipples between his fingers to arch your back into off the bed so your body is flush against his. However, more innocently he loves your stomach. It's always so soft and warm and it harboured your little kiddies for nine months three different times. He loved to talk to it when they were in there and now whenever you get time to be together, he makes sure every single mark, scar, stretch of skin is kissed and named as beautiful as he truly knows you are.
C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically…)
Ohhhh in you. He loves to cum in you. Got a bit of a breeding kink to be fair but we'll get into that later. To know you're full of him even when he pulls out of you or to think about you leaking him until he pushes his fingers up to stuff you full of him again is one of the greatest turns ons of his life. However, Andy would also argue there are few sights more fascinating than that of you on your knees in front of him, his cum dripping down your chin as you look up at him through your lashes.
D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
He gets turned on when people call you Mrs Robertson or (y/n) Robertson or even Robbo's mrs. Anything like that just sends him fuzzy headed. You're his and only his. You have his name, you wear the rings that he gave you and he gets enthralled by calling you "Mrs Robertson" a million times a day and occasionally in bed. Get's him ready to go any time of the day to be honest. Also it’s not dirty, more fluffy and adorable but he gets really, really excited after you get married and he gets to refer to you as his wife. He loves to point you out and just be all awe struck with sparkly eyes as he proudly announces “That’s my wife.”
E - Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Not necisarrily experienced but he is very good with what he does know. You've been together so long that you've learned just about every nook and cranny of each other so no one is left un satisfied at the end of the time you get to spend together. He's learned your body like the back of his hand and even on a day where the sex is as vanilla as can be, you always finish it feeling very satisfied. Also, for some reason that man has absolutely mastered the art of using his fingers.
F - Favourite Position
I get the feeling Andy probably prefers plain old missionary. It's the easiest, risks the least injury possibilities and allows him to see every single reaction and movement of your face as he bottoms out of you before plunging back in balls deep. He loves watching your eyes roll back as his name dances off of your tongue.
However he does also love taking you standing up. He loves the feeling of your legs tight around his waist because your knees were too weak from him to hold you up anymore and despite the fact it is much harder work, it's always well worth it. This usually doesn't happen at home, it tends to be the hidden corridors and empty rooms of Anfield after matches that are subject to said against the wall sex.
And finally, possibly his favourite is also watching you sink down onto his length, eyes fluttering shut. You take the reigns and he just melts, turning to putty in your hands. He rests both large palm on your upper thighs, fingertips bruising the soft skin of your bum, but they usually wander to your boobs until he’s reaching his high, where on will return to your bum and the other will grab a fistful of the bedsheets in a white knuckle grip as hips buck instinctively until he shoots his load into you with a loud shout. He loves when you ride him whether that’s lying on the bed, sitting up on the couch where he has an angle for his thrusts or if it’s simply you, rubbing yourself against the material of his shorts until he tugs them from the way and allows you to coat his bare thigh in your juices. He loves to be ridden.
G - Goofy (are they more serious or humorous in the moment)
He's a goofy guy through and through. He actually strives to make you laugh during sex because its the most intimate way and space a person could ever make the person they love giggle. It's usually when he's going in hard, almost always afterwards anyway. He'll share or tell little jokes or one liners that make you giggle, a blush heating your cheeks because he's still literally balls deep inside of you and you're giggling away. He just adores everything about it and making you laugh during sex always feels like an extra accomplishment.
Although if he's frustrated or got a lot of pent up energy then no ones laughing. The only noises that can be heard as slapping skin and you on those occasions and no one is complaining.
H - Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes etc)
We've all seen that video from Jordan Henderson's insta story so we all know it appears as though he is completely clean shaven down there. He's not necessarily got a strict routine, he just maintains himself how he likes it as he pleases. It's his beard you think about. Andy likes to keep his faint beard and when between your thighs, it definitely makes all the difference.
I - Intimacy (how they are during the moment? are they romantic?)
He can be quite romantic depending on the occasion (birthdays, anniversaries, valentines etc) but romance is subjective. Some may like rose petals and candles, but you're happy with just Andy really. He can make things romantic sometimes and other times he's just Andy, making jokes and making you feel ridiculously good. Although he certainly can dress up nice, putting on suit, lighting some candles and dimming the lights kind of evening. Those are few and far between but you're certainly not complaining.
J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He doens't do it a lot really. Maybe in the beginning of your relationship but almost never now. The time that he does want to get it on is always when you're there. Otherwise he's at training or with the kids or something like that. He's rarely not busy. When off travelling, Andy may opt to take things into his own hands purely for a release that he needs if he's feeling a bit wound up and missing you. There was one particular point however in your first pregnancy where you got all embarrassed one morning before admitting that the hormones raging around in you had conjured up a dream about Andy jacking off and you getting to watch, so occasionally he'll treat you with that in a nod to that little thing you love that has stuck around ever since.
K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Like I mentioned earlier, he has a bit of a breeding kind and further to that, he was absolutely always turned on for pretty much the whole of your pregnancy. He found himself doing a lot of jacking off then because you unsurprisingly weren't up for it most of the time that he was during the course of those nine months. But he was absolutely ravenous seeing you all swollen with his baby. He wanted to be all over you all the time. It just made him wild with desire.
He also has a hefty thing for winding you up in public. One time, at a players gala he fingered you under the table while everyone was eating and you had to sustain a conversation with Jordan Henderson, his wife and Jurgen Klopp. Andy just got so hard knowing what he was doing to you under the table and no one has any idea. It was marvellous; watching you fight everything back as he felt you clenching around his fingers, trying not to arch your back or buck your hips against him. You had a white knuckle grip on your silverware by the time your orgasm rippled through you and you had to pretend that you had chocked on your meal in order to cover up the small cry you let out.
To this day, Andy still whispers about it in your ear when you're in public and you're still waiting for a time to get one over on him for it.
L - Location (favourite places to do the deed)
He’s not really got a preference. Like i said earlier he really like to take you up against the wall, but he’s also partial to bending you over a counter or sinking you down onto him in the front seat of his car. He just is willing to take you anywhere really. Personally though one of his favourite is the shower. Your body can be all slippery, soapy and warm, reactive to his touch and despite the slight danger of possibly slipping, the heat of one of your legs hooked up around him, as he uses the stamina he’s gaining from being a professional athlete to pound himself into you as you yelp and shout out his name. The heat and steam just makes everything better.
M - Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going)
He is also insanely turned on by you in the mornings, groggy and messy haired with a sleepy smile and tired eyes. Watching you clamber out of bed ready to take on the day again with those little kids who laugh like you and yell instead of talk like Andy. You'll also usually emerge from bed wearing one of his old shirts or strips - like an old Hull City training shirt he hasn't worn in 5 years or a stupid cheap t-shirt he bought when he was 18 working in M&S that he thought he lost but actually had ended up being yours. You'll sit up on the bathroom sink while he showers, brushing your teeth ridiculously early just so you both get some time with each other before the little devils wake up. He'll stand between your legs, going in for a kiss that deepens until he's lining himself up with your entrance having pushed your very unflattering underwear to the side and you'll have to be as quiet and as quick as possible. He just loves every minute of living his life with you - even sneaky sex in the bathroom at not even six in the morning. He'll gladly take it.
N - NO (turns off, something/s they won’t do)
Andy is not at all interested in adding another person to the mix. He's surprisingly private as a person and he doesn't ever want your sex life to be something that comes out into the open to be talked about. There is always a risk with another person, plus he doesn't see either of you actually getting any pleasure out of it when sex is so good already. He probably will also never record or take pictures of the ac because he knows how easy it is for these things to end up in anyones hands. When he was younger, he used to. Andy had a really favourited picture of you on your knees in front of you with his hand in your hair as you look up at him after sucking him off. Cum and saliva were dripping down your chin and he still thinks about that long since deleted picture to this day. Andy is great at remembering things in his mind anyway, so he doesn't feel the need to create sex tapes that one day his kids might have to deal with when they're older if it ever breaks onto the news.
O - Oral (are they good? do they prefer giving or receiving?)
Honestly he prefers receiving but he definitely does not shy away from giving. Oh my god the beard burn he gives you is literally to die for, the perfect amount of friction he talks so much that his tongue is his lost exercised muscle so he is very, very good with it when it comes to going down on you. To be fair, it is one of those things that he wasn’t always very good at, but he has vastly improved and now it is something you will never ever turn down.
However, being sucked off by you is probably one of his favourite things ever. He literally cannot get enough of it, watching you get him off. God it’s unreal. Meanwhile he’ll have his head thrown back against the ball, hands on your hair muttering, “That’s it, pretty girl, fuck, perfect. Beautiful.” And you’re soaking wet waiting for him already.
P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
He’s usually going for fast and hard. It’s all sweaty bodies and rapid breaths, whimpering out his name as his skin slaps against yours. He can be very sensual but rarely ever slow. His pace lets him reach every inch of you, pushing into you in every way as your nails drag down his back with your ankles linked around his waist. The way his muscles ripple quickly and his body clashes with yours is hot and fiery and perfect. He loves it, you love it. Why bother doing anything else?
Q - Quickie (their opinion on quickies. do they prefer it? how often?)
Dear lord Andy loves a quickie. Slamming into you with his finger over your mouth, warning you to be quiet in a Hampden park back room? Bliss. Pure bliss. He could get off just thinking about it. Post-match quickies are very common and when you become parents, quickies are also necessary when short on time. He prefers to have all the time in the world to take on you, but he will never complain about having a quickie.
R - Risk (do they think to experiment? willing to take risks?)
Andy loves the risk. He loves to pump his fingers into you under tables or have his fingers wound in your hair as you suck him off in a fancy marble walled bathroom at a gala. The rush of potentially being caught always heightens the pleasure. When you were younger and he used to still live with his parents, he didn’t care for the thumping of his headboard against the wall as much as you did. He just loves that he can have you like putty in his hands wherever. It’s not about the people there, it’s about the fact he can drive you crazy and he is in full control and nobody even knows. Although, you too like to get your own back on him, shuffling around in his lap during movie nights so he has to stay glued to the couch the rest of the night because of the hard bugle in his jeans. He’s also into experimenting. Anything that could bring you more pleasure? Bring. It. On.
S - Stamina (how many rounds? how long do they last?)
Everybody says that Andy is one of the biggest grafters in the team in terms of his engine. He could run forever, so i don’t see him being at all different in the bedroom. He could genuinely probably go forever and he very, very much loves to do so. When you’re wildly overstimulated, muscles tight, skin shining with sweat as you pant and gasp for breath beneath him, he gets intoxicated by it. His eyes drink your in, flicking over your face and taking in every little bit of you. He commits it to memory every time, each better than before.
But yeah, Andy could go for hours and honestly he will. It’s a very special treat for you always. Plus, who doesn’t like a guy who can go hard and fast four three rounds and still be fully ready to go down on you afterwards?
T - Toys (do they own any? do they use any? if so, preference?)
He does own a few, all funny little things he bought to tease you with. Like little vibrators that he can press again your clit and stuff like that. He doesn’t use them often and many he got when he was injured and couldn’t have sex with you the way usually would it would want to.
U - Unfair (do they like to tease? if so how much/often)
Aaaaabsolutely. He’s a massive tease. Andy absolutely loves having you writhing and whimpering beneath him, begging to have him fully in you or to go faster, to just move. Loves it. Definitely a big fan of edging you so close until you’re hazy, incoherent and begging for an orgasm that’ll ripple through your whole body so every in a five mile radius will know his name. Whenever you’ve got the time and the freedom, he’s teasing you and sometimes it’ll start in the morning before he leaves for work and he won’t finish it till much later it the day, making for an even more intense orgasm.
V - Volume (are they loud? what sounds do they make?)
Not necessarily loud, but he is very very very into dirty talking right into your ear. His hot breath tickling at your neck between kisses, grazing his teeth against your sensitive skin, god it drives you crazy. He’ll hum against your clit about how wet and ready for him you are and tell you the whole time how beautiful and perfect you are. It’s both romantic and painfully attractive. Apart from that he’s mostly grunts and some groans of your name but the sound he makes when he cums is *chefs kiss*. It’s deep and guttural, coming straight from the base of his throat when his eyes screw shut and his mouth drops open. It’s unbearably hot.
W - Wild Card (random headcanon)
He low-key loves to be marked by you. Not even actively, just passively almost?? Like he doesn’t think about it at the time but afterwards when he’ll spot the scratches down his back when he passes the mirror or if the guys comment on it in the changing room, it makes him feel good. He’s glad everybody knows he belongs to someone in every way, from the most romantic and simply to the most intimate. And knowing you have the faint, painless bruises from his fingertips on your hips with little nipped in love bites around your breast makes him feel satisfied that he’s left you with a memory of the evening. Even just you wearing your wedding ring or looking down at his own on his hand proudly makes him silently happy and all fuzzy inside in a completely non-sexual way because you’re so happy to show off to the world that he’s yours and your his you both love each other so so much.
X - Xray (what’s doing on beneath the belt?)
Again, i’m sure we all seen that video on Jordan Henderson’s insta story the other week, so we all know he is fairly packing. He’s not got anything extravagant or jaw dropping, but it’s still moderately bigger than bang average. It’s honestly just more about what he does with it and how he reaches every but of you that’s the wow factor.
Y - Yearning (how high is their second drive?)
Pretty high, to be fair but nothing out of the ordinary. like it’s not overkill but it’s usually completely unscheduled. Some weeks you’ll want to jump his bones every single night and he’ll fuck you twice a day and other time they’ll be a week between it. Schedules can be awkward and after you get married and have kids it’s a lot harder for things to run to any kind of plan. At the moment, it’s more of an ‘if we have time let’s just fucking go for it’ kind of thing. Although his sex drive is always higher when you’re pregnant or if the team are having a winning streak.
Z - zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)
Both of you fall asleep pretty quickly after sex now to be honest. You’ll usually fall asleep first because he’s tells sweet, soft jokes while stroking your hair and drawing circles on your skin softly. It’s very soothing. And then once you’ve fallen asleep, fatigue usually finds him quite quickly, but he’ll get up out of bed and clean you up a little because he’s ever the gentlemen. Then he’ll climb into bed and fall asleep pretty much instantly once you’re wrapped back in his arms.
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solarwonux · 3 years
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An Unforgettable Dinner - Valentine’s Day Drabble #3
soft!dom mingyu x f!reader x soft!dom chan 
w.c: 2.0k
warnings: LOTS of teasing, toys (vibrator), public sex (kind off just squint everyone), humiliation, Mingyu is a little shit, orgasm denial, poly relationshi, daddy kink if you like squint, slight degradation, (very minimal editing)
note: this was a prompt from my drabble game, but I enjoyed it too much that I thought why not add it to this mini series lol. Enjoy and please please let me know your thoughts. 
also i will be answering asks tonight hehehe and everyone else that left me lovely comments on my feedback rant lol
masterlist || drabble game
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“You should wear that more often.”
You jumped upon hearing the smoky lip of your boyfriend's voice. Quickly, you placed the glass of champagne onto the kitchen counter before scurrying and wrapping the sheer robe around yourself tightly. Failing to cover the baby pink lingerie set you adorned. 
He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. 
They weren’t supposed to be home yet, because if Mingyu was home that only meant that Chan was home too. 
“W-What are you guys doing here?” You turned around, setting your elbow down onto the counter awkwardly. The loud drone of the old Jazz record you had playing, didn’t do much to cover your embarrassment and the loud beating of your heart as you looked at both Mingyu and Chan’s smug expression. 
“This is our house too baby.” Chan spoke before pushing himself off the wall. He walked past you dropping his bag onto one of the kitchen chairs, your eyes following his movements closely as he walked to the record player and turned it off. “Valentine’s Day and our anniversary isn’t for another week, what’s the special occasion?” He put the record needle back onto its respective spot and took off the record carefully, looking around for the sleeve before spotting it haphazardly thrown on the couch. With a tisking sound, a shake of his head and a quick glance at Mingyu then you, he walked towards it.
“I’m willing to overlook the mal-treatment of my records if you answer Chan’s question...and honestly.” Mingyu’s voice grabbed your attention once again, this time obviously annoyed. 
Mingyu’s records were his prized possession, sometimes treating them like they were his second skin or his first offspring. He never forbade you or Chan from using them as long as you abided by his rules and more often than not you would forget, Chan always covering up for you so you wouldn’t have to listen to another version of the same lecture Mingyu always gave. 
“Um...no special occasion I just wanted to try on the set I bought last week for our anniversary night.” You mumbled playing with the feathered sleeves of your sheer robe. It was true, your plan had been fool proof until it wasn’t. You were only going to wear it for a few minutes, take some polaroids to leave hidden around the house for them to find and take it off before they came home. Though, you had gotten ahead of yourself the second you saw how beautiful it looked on your body. How it made your insecurities fade away slowly. In celebration for the new found confidence you didn’t want to stray away from yet. You had opened a bottle of champagne and put on your favorite record as you lingered around the living room with a giddy nature that only a child on Christmas morning would have. 
“It’s a shame we were spoiled, now this is all I’m going to think about for the entirety of next week.” Chan said as he walked back to the shelves that kept your books and Mingyu’s record collection. He held it by the denting corners of the sleeve twirling it mindlessly as he went over the abc’s in his mind, before finding its rightful spot between L and N and slipping it back in. 
You chewed on your bottom lip as you felt the tension grow in between the three points of the living room where the three of you were standing in. Chan was now leaning against the bookshelf, arms crossed chewing on his bottom lip, while Mingyu still hadn’t moved from his spot by the front door with you trapped in between them now, holding onto one of the kitchen chairs, keeping your balance. Their looks were almost predatory and it made the skin of your arms rise as well as the desire between your legs. 
There was no way you would survive this night untouched. 
“Why don’t we get a preview, it would be waste to at least not see something you’ve planned for us.” Mingyu nodded, Chan making a sound that can only be categorized as one of approval. Though, you felt weak in the knees ready to drop for them. The confidence you found yourself ensuing when wearing this particular innocent looking set, overcame your senses. 
“Buy me dinner and I’ll think about it.” 
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“What’s wrong baby, you wanted dinner didn’t you?” 
You gripped Chan’s forearm like a vice, and bit your lip hard trying to subside the moans that were threatening to spill out. 
Your confidence had depleted to nothing when they both agreed and told you that they would wait in the car for you as you finished getting dressed. On the way towards the hole in the wall restaurant the three of you often visited. One of Mingyu’s hands was gripping the steering wheel hard, while the other found its way inside of your leggings, teasing your slit over your panties. 
“She’s wet enough love.” Mingyu spoke, sending Chan a knowing look through the rearview mirror in which you caught. It only made you wonder if they had had this entire night planned out and your suspicions only grew when Chan had fished out a tiny hot pink vibrator before handing it over to you. 
“Put it inside of you baby.” Chan smirked at you through the rearview mirror before planting a sloppy wet kiss against your cheek. At first you declined, called the two of them insane for suggesting such a thing, let alone in public. But then the thought of them teasing you in public became more appealing and arousing to you, that silently you obliged to their commands. Which is how you found yourself at a loss for words and appetite and on the brink of yet another orgasm, digging your nails into Chan’s bicep as they both ate happily, chatting up a storm. 
“This isn’t fair.” You breathed out, the vibrations dying down to almost nothing, enough for you to breathe. You weren’t sure which of them was controlling the vibrator as they never faltered in giving themselves away. 
“Babe if you don’t eat, your food will get cold.” Chan pointed out, placing his hand over yours and kissing your nose lightly. Your garlic noodles had become an afterthought even before you had ordered them, your mind was focused on the pusing vibrator against your clit and how desperately you needed to orgasm. 
“F-Fuck the food Chan, please let me cum.” You whisper yelled, looking between both of your boyfriends and silently begging them. Whether it was a mistake or not you didn’t care, at least not until the vibrations started up again, this time faster than before. You let out a squeak hiding your pleasure stricken face in Chan’s arm, earning a chuckle from both men. 
“Not until you eat all of your dinner, it’s what you wanted baby.” Mingyu said before reaching over and grabbing your head gently in his palms making you look at him. “You act like a brat, you get treated like one.” He whispered before placing a soft kiss against your swollen lips. Before you could respond he pulled back and sat back down, crossing his arms in front of him a smirk adorning his perfect features. “Now eat baby, eat and we’ll fuck you until you start seeing stars.” The vibrations died down again and finally you realized that one that was in control of your torture was the man sitting next to you. 
“C-Chan, fuck, please just let me cum. I’ll be good, I’ll let the two of you fuck my mouth and my pussy but please I-I need to cum.” You begged and left peppering kisses against his neck. It was a good thing that the waiter had sat the three of you down in a booth, otherwise you wouldn’t have been openly expressing how desperate you were. 
He shuddered and pushed you away before taking a bite out of his steak, ignoring you completely. You could tell that by the way his body had tensed up and how the vibrator moved inside of you at an overwhelming speed, he was close to giving in. If it wasn’t for Mingyu’s warning glare he would’ve given you all the orgasms you wanted, regardless of being in public or not. 
“If you let her, you’ll be joining her.” Mingyu warned. It wasn’t often that Mingyu took over the dominant role in your relationship. Despite him being the one that looked more intimidating he was often underneath you or Chan when it came to the bedroom. Though, there were some days, like today in which his own mouth betrayed him as he spewed the dirtiest things for only you and Chan to hear. 
You pushed your plate of food away and leaned your forehead against the table. The tears had started to pool up in the corner of your eyes as you tried to hold yourself back from your release. And when the vibrations stopped once again you let some of them go along with a sigh of relief. You sat back, whipping your eyes with the back of your hand and crossed your arms in front of you. Mingyu chewed happily on the piece of chicken he had in his mouth, as he looked at your fucked out state. He would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t itching to risk getting fined if it meant that he could bend you over the table and fuck you. But his self control was far greater than anything on this planet. He had proved it to both you and Chan whenever the two of you would edge him on for hours. 
“C-Chan, baby, just let cum please.” You looked over at him, your eyes blotchy, looking so fucked out, wishing that he was home instead of the stupid restaurant. He wasn’t even enjoying his food anymore. 
You leaned over and placed a soft kiss against the back of his ear, where his sweet spot was and you saw him grip the handle of his knife hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. “I-I feel so good, don’t you want to feel good with me.” You kissed down his neck and ran your hand over his clothed cock. He was so hard that you let yourself moan loud enough for your two boyfriends to hear, but low enough for it to be drowned out by the loud music that was playing. 
“Fuck, you just want everyone to see how cock hungry you are, isn’t that right baby?” Mingyu tilted his head, his hands holding onto the table to keep himself from touching himself. In truth you and Chan were his weaknesses and more often than not the two of you used that knowledge to your advantage. 
“Yes, I want them to know how much I love being full of cock and cum.” You moaned, your grip on Chan’s cock faltering when the vibrator started up again. It overwhelmed your senses, as you felt your orgasm approach even faster than before. 
“Then cum for us.” Chan whispered in your ear. He had kept his hands away from you the entire time he was controlling the device inside of you, but now he had placed a hand on the inside of your thigh, massaging it gently as he whispered dirty praises in your ear. All while eyeing your boyfriend from across the table. 
Before you knew it, you felt yourself release, falling forward, your forehead hitting the table gently as it traveled through you faster than the speed of light. Mingyu let out a very telling low groan, while Chan’s hand rubbed your back gently. The vibrations against the walls of your pussy came to a complete stop as they fluttered around the hot pink device. 
“Good job baby, you did so good for us and look no one even noticed.” Chan said teasingly before sitting the two of you back, your head against his shoulder as he caressed your arm gently, calming you down. 
“That was so fucking sexy, f-fuck. We need to leave now.” Mingyu rushed out raising his hand up to call over the waiter. 
“No, like you said we need to finish your food first, so be a good boy for me love and put your hand down. We have a long night ahead of us and the two of you need all the energy you can get.” Chan said, before shoving another piece of his steak into his mouth. You knew him being quiet and letting Mingyu take control was just for show. You watched as Mingyu’s overly dominant confidence left his body slowly as he obeyed and lowered his hand, swallowing slowly. 
“Daddy can we punish him?” You smirked and looked up at Chan, resting your chin against his shoulder. You saw a menacing smile appear on his face, indicating that he was more than a fan of the idea of having Mingyu at both of your mercy’s. 
“Of course baby girl.”
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clavis-baby · 3 years
Text
The (possible) Downfall of Obey Me
5-16-21 (when writing this the event toys out)
(Tbh this post is just be trying to be naïve towards Solomare and at ever aspectthat I mention you have every single right to be upset and mad)
Okay so it’s no secret that Obey me is making bank and is very very obviously trying to make us money on the game with even trying to make us spend money with original stuff that was free to now secretly changing some mechanics behind our back
Here’s a post by @thalfox https://thalfox.tumblr.com/post/653994972840919040/i-just-noticed-a-little-bit-ago-that-the-barbatos that dose a really good job at explaining everything that has changed
(also this isn’t a hate thing fox has actually done a great work explaining everything to good detail of what has changed)
With all the changes I don’t think that it’s shocking to say that players are leavening the fandom because of many reasons to the games getting stupidly harder to even the game development
This is just a heads up this in no way is a post saying “hey this is why you shouldn’t feel this way” I kinda just wanted to see from a business standpoint and be naïve of what’s happening you have every reason to be mad at Solomare because even me I’ve been playing sense week 2 of game released and I’m only on lesson 42 every counter argument that I’m going to make I have complained about at some point
Arguments
(P.s grammar is really bad it’s sort of turned into more of a rant I wrote this at 5 am without any sleep so sorry)
1. Obey me is marketed as a free to play game
First there are many reasons people are mad this main thing that I hear about is from a lot of people is that is a “free game” which lets be honest is ridiculously hard
But still it is still essentially a “free to play game” I personally feel like the main prolog is lessons 1-20 to introduce all the characters to understand and getting the just on how to play the game
Okay and now here’s where I sort of stand with obey me, the gatcha rates are kinda ridiculously lucky when you play for the first week you luck is so amazing and is in my experience with gatchas the best luck I have ever seen for games so it’s not really hard collecting the cards
Now are they the best absolutely no, this I feel like is where you might have to spend money unless they up the skills on the Nightmare A
But what Obey me is technically trying to do is obviously making you pay by releasing your favorite demon card every 2 week which…aren’t essential they are really just hoping that you love your main demon enough to pay
With the high increase on the gatcha rate there really isn’t a pity unless you count the card pieces (but I’m not going to count that because you are more likely to roll your UR before completing the pieces)
Now after lesson 20 once the huge break I feel like Obey me almost expecting the players to keep logging in any doing jobs and some players did do that and boy did it pay off
But those players have not needed to spend a single dollar and are all caught up
Now for everyone else who didn’t the game was so difficult it’s unimaginable and because for that a whole lot of players left the game and personally I don’t blame them because of how much impact the next lessons were
Now sort of like Mystic Messenger you really just have to grind you ass off log in everyday and do JOBS :D and grind but as hard and long as it is you are still able to be a f2p but where obey me fails is that when grinding Mystic Messenger grinding was a lot more fun for me it took about a whole year to just get 550 hourglasses even when I purchased and same with Genshin Inpact it takes a while but with obey me there isn’t really anything else to do once you get to a certain point which I think obey me really lacks and could be part of a reason why people left. Grinding just is not fun (now I do think that on a phone there is so much you can do with a app game but I feel like there could be a bit more they could do)
Personally I’m just going to come out and say it don’t spend your money for one UR card for your favorite demon it’s really not worth it now im one of those Mammon stans but if I ever wanted a specific card for instance the Mammon bunny card when it first came out I wanted it so badly and didn’t get it but I also knew there would eventually be a revival so I saved and did not spend any DV(demon vouchers) until the revival
The events
Some people complain about getting the cards in the events onestly for me this one kinda makes a bit of sense I noticed the first change when the Vampire even came out and how it wasn’t as easy to get the second card but if you think of it it makes sence why
When the first event came out (Santa event) you only had to collect about 30,000 gingerbread compared to the 100,000 in event today but when the first event came out no one was at high enough levels for the AP required and you would every day when times rest to gain gingerbread as well as there was only one part to the story so when people kept leveling up their AP Obey Me had to higher the bar so it wouldn’t be so easy to get all these cards and have a actual reward system but eventually they also added another story lesson starting at the Ruri Chan event
Second thing about the events is that one there started just getting plain out boring.
When lesson 20 finished and we were all waiting for season 2 I was still loving in everyday and logging in at 12 and 8 for the free 30 AP because I didn’t know what else to and would participate in the event but eventually what I think that all otome games that have constant events like Ikemen Vampire and Ikemen Revolution they just start getting repetitive and getting real boring so I stoped playing until there was something more interesting
The last thing that some people complain about the events is that you can’t keep up with the story and the events now I can’t find it but I believe that @0beyme said something about the events a long time ago about how you have to pick between the event and moving through the main story which I kinda think isn’t really the games fault and more just a discussion on maybe missing a event
Add ons
Okay so they did this from day 1 you spend a certain amount of Devil point that you guaranteed don’t have and get out a card
Now this is just spelling out a disaster
Yeah so for the first Charge Mission is when you log in which everyone had but essentially what they want you to do is spend $100 on a game that you just logged into and never experienced or played I don’t really understand what they were even thinking with that but it must’ve worked for them to keep doing them
The second time they did it was when the break was over and season 2 came out and they celebrated by doing another charge mission which was the Lucifer and Simon card which would cost again $100 again I really don’t understand what they were thinking
And now this is I believe the fourth time they have done this for the 1.5 anniversary where they know that Mammon is obviously a favorite for many Obey Me players and where smart to put it on the really stupid charge mission but the difference is, is that instead of it costing $100 it would cost almost $200(same with Levi’s) for one thing I don’t understand
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But one thing that you do have to remember is is that this isn’t apart of the main gameplay it really just is a mini game if you would even call it that of dress up and optimization so still I guess would be just a add on that has no effect on the actual story and game so you could I guess still call it a f2p game with really really stupidly high priced add ons
VIP
Umm so I am the first one to call myself out I have bought the VIP package first when season 2 happened and I knew how much I loved the game so personally it was worth it to me to support the developers and gain something out of it
Now I haven’t really seen much complaints on the VIP because people more use it as a “hey the game is impossible with out VIP” but the people who say this ive noticed never bought it
For $9.99 each month it is 100%
IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!! Out of everything you get which honestly isn’t much you get some extra free space in jobs and really that’s it and if you choose to use all your job slots for the highest paying you get around 30,500 about a 10,000 difference not really worth it in my opinion
With VIP you also get other things like higher chance of gifts from Jobs which you will not notice one bit, and +20 AP (which if you play the events is sort of useful) as well as extra packages exclusive to VIPs so after paying $9.99 per month you also get more things to buy and that’s about it for VIP now if you really want to get more grim just use your AP and spend it of normal lessons you will get more AP that way
The Story and Kids
This could be all me just complaining and a theory by I wanted to include it anyway
Obviously many people are not even caught up or even playing but as more lessons went on the less interesting the story became to me I don’t know if it’s a me thing but season one was absolutely amazing the once season two came out it was good but not anywhere as good and one
One reason why I think that it to me became almost bland is the amount of kids that is on the app and how sensitive people were if anything bad happens
It’s no secret that the Japanese versions a lot more non-kid friendly for hell’s sake the characters don’t even swear as well as all the colors I feel like to a American audience bright colors is usually marketed towards kids but in other countriesI think many understand that that is not always the case for instance a lot of people will thing in America that anime is all for kids but I mean look at Attack on Titan or Tokyo Ghoul you would not let kids watch that of literal people getting brutally murdered you just don’t see things like that in the West where something looking kid friendly could also be very adult like
Also wtf dose this in the App Store say +12 with Ikemen Vampire and a lot of other games if you have a game rated +17 then there will be a actual pop up that says something along the lines of how “thier could be violence acts and sexual act are you sure you want to instal”
Now the story I’ve seen people point this out but there isn’t really much character development for instance Beel he dose not have a actual personality his personality (fight me on this one) all you really know about him is that he likes food and his family now I could be wrong cuz I’m on lesson 42 but still not much and this is kinda with all the characters except the special ones where the devs really favor and love for story
Some one mentioned how the developers hold back a lot which I agree with 100% they said how when there is character development they all the sudden pull back and never will almost talk about it again like ???? So there’s this constant bland story
——————-
Honestly if you liked this I might do more cuz as much as this post made me especially at the end I kinda liked ranting so...yeah there is also many other things that I want to rant about but I’m tired soooo
feel free to comment your opinions btw
Bye ima go sleep now
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galacticxcosmos · 4 years
Text
𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 ❣︎ ᵏᵗʰ
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Pairing :- Taehyung X Reader
Genre :- Bestfriends to Lovers AU, Erotic, Angst, Romance and Fluff.
Rating :- 18+ ( M )
Word Count :- 4.4k
Summary :- "Not everyone in this world deserves to be loved. I am one of those little number of unfortunate people" that's what you thought after your terrible breakup which led you to your bestfriend's appartment at midnight to seek comfort until things went way beyond just 'comfort'.
Warnings :- It's CEO Taehyung (but no office romance shit), Broke college student, Dom Taehyung, Sub reader, Some angst that idk how I managed to write, Sexual Tension, Buried feelings, Past feelings, Teasing, Morning Sex, Daddy Kink, Pinning, Oral (M receiving), Unprotected Sex, After care (omg) with fluff (omg).
A/N :- I know that I haven't been very active on Tumblr, but trust me I am trying my best, also I am still working on the next chapter for "Chemicals Collide", so please be a little more patient. Also I got inspiration for this Oneshot from Jungkook's cover, I think you guessed it already, but then I saw I had already written a JK Oneshot, so I gave this to Tae baby. Enjoy~
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Not everyone in this world deserves to be loved. I am one of those little number of unfortunate people.
I could feel the numb pain in my stomach, feeling like I am going to throw up, going back and forth between feeling nothing and being unable to stop the tears. All I  could think about was if this is really the end. I picked up my pace, now breaking into a fast jog towards Taehyung's house. Tears we're rapidly streaming down my face, uncontrollable at this point. I sprinted through the apartment complex, my legs moving as quickly as they could to get to him. I wiped my face with my sleeve as I got to his floor, a failed attempt to make myself look slightly okay.
I knew Taehyung would see right past these attempts though, he'll quickly understand that I've been sobbing with one glance in my direction. He knew me too well. After knocking on the door, there was a faint thud before someone cautiously opened the door. Taehyung stood there, slightly disheveled with the smell of alcohol dripping off of him. Right, Saturday means Taehyung gets shit faced every night. Although intoxicated, he quickly realised I wasn't okay. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to go and fight someone?" He slurred slightly, stepping outside. I chuckled, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back into the apartment before he got the both of us locked out.
"How many have you drank?" I asked, going to the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle to give him. My legs were threatening to give out, but he should property drink something besides alcohol before he puts himself in a coma. I walked over to where he sat on the couch, handing him the water bottle before going to pick up bottles. Sure, drinking was absolutely terrible and Taehyung may have developed a problem. I just never comment on it because we all have our own ways of dealing with things, not all of them being good. After cleaning up his expensive ass apartment, I went to sit down with him. He was quietly watching TV, taking interest in some show that showed people getting hurt. He was slowly sipping his water, showing barely any interest in the almost full bottle he held in his hand.
"Tae, I asked, how many have you drank?" I asked again. "I counted like 10 while cleaning up." Taehyung didn't say anything, just shrugging as he propped his feet up on the ottoman. I sighed, following his actions and getting comfortable. It must be nice to have an apartment to yourself and not be stuck in a crammed dorm room with another person. Must be nice to not go to school and struggle everyday. Nice to not have your heart broken on the day of your anniversary. Without noticing, a small sob fell from my lips, catching Taehyung's attention instantly. Worry was written across his face as he peered over to me, one eyebrow raised.
"What happened?" He mumbled, moving to wrap one arm around me. He held me close to him, a mix of his cologne and alcohol filling my nose. "He broke up with me." I mumbled, another sob falling from my lips. I wrapped my arms around Taehyung's toned torso, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. "Isn't it your anniversary? Didn't you text me earlier today about everything?" He asked gently, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. Another sob fell, making him realise that maybe it wasn't a good idea to pull on that string. He sighed, moving so he could easily pull me into his lap. I quickly straddled him in order to bury my face in his neck.
My arms still held onto his torso as he wrapped his arms around me. He must've closed the water bottle and tossed it aside sometime earlier, deciding it was more important to comfort me. So, how the hell did a broke college student become best friends with one of the youngest CEOs in Seoul? It honestly still amazes me that we're even still friends, that I get the pleasure of being his best friend. He's everything you'd want in a person. Caring, beautiful, fit despite his work schedule, one of most hardworking people you'll ever meet.
We've been friends since we were teens, simple freshmen stuck together for a lab experiment. Thinking back on it, it's sort of funny because the first thing he ever said was I like your shirt. I smiled slightly, thinking back on the fond memories. Taehyung and I are some of the closest of people, and we're always joined at the hip when we aren't busy. I mean, we grew up together, figured out college together, lost our virginity to each other. I chuckled slightly thinking about it. Two teens frustrated and scared to lose it to someone who didn't know us. It just sort of played out one night, safe word established quickly since Taehyung was so worried. Taehyung shuffled slightly under me.
"What are you laughing about, Miss?" He teased, jabbing my sides. He's always loved fucking with me, and knew how to get on my nerves in just a few attempts. I decided to lie, figuring that, if he even remembered that night, he wouldn't want to hear about it. I shrugged, shoving my face into his neck further. "I was thinking about science when we were paired together." I said, my focus going to my shirt that was riding up slightly. Taehyung paid no attention to it, his hands resting on the bare skin of my back.
"Ugh, don't remind me." He laughed before mocking himself. "I like your shirt." I laughed, shaking my head at him. I sat up, my hands placed on his chest. He seemed tired, but sobering up a bit. His hands released my torso, going to wipe the tears off my cheeks. I smiled slightly before climbing off his lap and standing back up. "Finish drinking your water." I said, tossing the bottle over to where he was sitting. I walked into his living room, opening up the fridge and seeing what was there. I shrugged, settling on leftover takeout I'm assuming was from the shop near his work. I tossed it into the microwave before calling out to Taehyung.
"Do you want anything?" I asked, waiting for a response. "You." A small reply came, unsure and small compared to his normal loud ass. I laughed at him before asking the question once more. He simply said nothing, stating he wasn't hungry. He usually isn't when he drinks anyway. I took the takeout out, walking back into the living room. I sat and ate, making sure not to spill anything because I definitely couldn't afford to buy him a new one. This couch is probably my salary, the boy's got money. "Are you okay?" He asked, reaching over to rub my thigh. "Didn't I tell you he was a dick though? You should date better people. Like me."
I laughed at him, playfully swatting his hand away from me. I went back to my food, not paying attention to the hand creeping up towards my thigh once more. He rubbed his hand up my thighs once more, smiling slightly. "Taehyung, you're drunk." I mumbled, shoving food into my mouth once more.
Taehyung moved once more, placing his hand on my arm. Whines immediately came from me, complaining about the food and expensive couch. "Taehyung, I'm going to spill this on your couch and you're going to be mad at me" I threatened. "Fuck it. I can buy a new one." He mumbled, reaching up to smack the food out of my hand. I jerked my arm away, setting the tray down on the coffee table. "No you can't you drunk cunt." I mumbled, jumping over and pulling him down on the couch. I curled up under his arm, my face buried in his chest while I placed my arm on his side. He smiled, looking up at the TV after placing a kiss on my forehead. He held me closer, and continued to hold me until I drifted off to sleep.
∆∆∆
The sound of shuffling woke me up, my eyes barely adjusting to the bright light. Taehyung was shuffling next to me, struggling to get up. I let out a small grunt, moving so he could easily stand up. He apologized before running off to what I assumed was the bathroom. I smashed myself into the corner of the couch, trying to gain back the warmth that just left. Taehyung's chuckles filled the room as he passed by the living room, walking into the kitchen. He was probably going to go grab pain killers and a water. He waltzed back to the couch, plopping down. I let out a small grunt of disapproval.
"Come on, go and do your classes." He said, pulling me by my shirt towards him. He's always used his strength to do whatever, and it gets annoying every now and then. "Would you stop pulling me around like a ragdoll?" I said, rolling over to look at him. He had a smirk on his face, missing his shirt that he was previously wearing. "Go get a shirt on" I said. "No." He said, dropping a water bottle and laying down. I rolled over, cuddling into his warm embrace. His golden skin always give off warmth, and god I loved it. "Shouldn't you have classes to attend?" Taehyung asked, wrapping his arms around me. I rolled my eyes at him, wondering how stupid he has to be to not understand.
"I just got my heart broken yesterday, why would I want to do anything?" I mumbled, "I just want comfort and to rest for awhile." Taehyung nodded, holding me. He mumbled something that I didn't quite catch, but I was too lazy to ask what he said. "Why do you date douchebags? I mean, they don't give you the love you deserve and end up breaking your heart. You should find someone that actually cares about you." He mumbled, tangling his legs with mine. "Why does it matter to you Taehyung?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Because you come to my apartment at like 3 am sobbing usually. And you shouldn't even be out at that time, with someone else or alone for that matter. It's not safe. And you deserve better." He mumbled. "Would you stop worrying about that? I'll be okay." I could barely even finish my sentence when Taehyung crashed his lips onto mine, our lips molding together within seconds. Taehyung pulled away slightly, attaching his lips on to my jaw. My breath hitched, hands moving to grab at his arms.
"Taehyung, I don't think this is a good idea." I mumbled, his movements coming to a stop and his body stiffing. "I just mean we're probably just confused and I just broke up and you're a famous CEO hooking up with a college st-" I knew if I asked, he would immediately stop. It's not that I was afraid of him doing something stupid, I was afraid of the underlying feelings I had for my best friend. The feelings that make me want to cherish and love him just as much as have him fuck my brains out.
"Tell me y/n, do you really think I don't notice?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Think I don't notice the looks you give me when you think I'm not paying attention? You rubbing together your thighs when you're around me?". "Taehyung I still don't think-", "You don't think this is a good idea because you're afraid. You'll have a real man now, someone that will love and appreciate you as well as please you? Listen, I have no problem with that as long as you return it." He mumbled, moving over to whisper in my ear. "Do you know how much you affect me?"
He licked my ear, sucking slightly causing me to whimper. My eyes were screwed shut, head cocked to side. He climbed around so he could be on top, grinding our hips together slightly. His bulge rubbed against my thigh, rock hard. "Taehyung-", "Waste it on me y/n. Your love, please just this once. You waste it on everyone else, so why not me? Why not your best friend that's in love? Please, it's not going to hurt if it's just once." He mumbled, locking eyes with me. "Taehyung-", "Daddy." He corrected, is he serious right now?? He wants me to fill in his kinks now??
"Taehy-", "Did you not hear me babygirl?" He said, staring down at me. I gripped his torso, wondering how the hell I got myself into this situation. How I ended up here, with him. "Daddy, please." I said, coming out more whiny than I expected. He smirked slightly, a look of confidence flushing over his face. "What babygirl? Tell me so I can please you." He said, moving so his face was a mere millimeters away. "Kiss me."
He did, quickly getting rid of the space in between us. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling slightly. His hips slightly rolled into mine, pulling a moan from the both of us. Taehyung's hands slipped down, running up and down my sides, stopping to squeeze slightly. His hands found their way to my ass, squeezing and rubbing. "Daddy~" I whined, rolling my hips up into his. He let out a small groan, moving to place hot, open mouthed kisses all along my neck. He stopped to suck a small bruise here and there, making sure to leave his mark.
His hands slipped into my shirt, squeezing my sides. I giggled slightly, jerking away from the ticklish action. Taehyung smiled up at me before slipping my shirt up and eventually over my head. My arms instinctively went to cover my skin, Taehyung clicking his tongue slightly. "Come on babe, don't make me tie you up." He mocked, smirking at me. My eyes widened slightly, taking Taehyung back for a moment. "God, I don't remember a freak in highschool.", "Oh my God. Please don't." I said, staring at him. He's referring to losing our virginity to each other, embarrassing.
"So shy and innocent-", "I don't remember such a cocky shit in the bedroom either? You think you've gotten better?" I challenged. "I know I've gotten better." He answered. He's so full of himself. "Whoever cums first, loses." I challenged, staring up at him. He looked taken back. I smiled, sitting up in order to push him back on the couch. I straddled him, sitting on his hips as I took my bra off and tossed it somewhere across the room. Taehyung's hands flew up, squeezing and pinching what he could manage. I let out a small whine when he took a sensitive bud in between his fingers, twisting it roughly. My hips involuntary rolled, Taehyung's hips jerking up. I moved, going to pull on his shorts. The more I pulled down, I realized he wasn't wearing any underwear.
"This was your plan all morning?" I questioned. "Nope, just when I seen you over here looking like a fresh baked snack." He said, making me laugh at how stupid he was. I rolled my eyes, kissing his hips slightly. Once his shorts were off, he wasted no time kicking them halfway across the room. I giggled slightly, laying down on the couch so I was level with his cock. Taehyung threw his head back, his breathing becoming uneven. I licked a long stripe from bottom to top, stopping at the top to flick my tongue along his tip. I slowly wrapped my lips around his tip, sinking down slightly before coming back up. I took inch by inch until he hit the back of my throat, sinking down a bit more before coming up. A low moan fell from Taehyung as I swallowed around him, his hips involuntary bucked up into my mouth.
I fought off my gag reflex, hallowing my cheeks around him. I let him face fuck me, his hands roughly controlling my head to please himself. A loud whine fell from him, grabbing my hair and pulling my head up an off. He wrapped his fingers around his base, squeezing. Once he calmed down, he looked up at me. "Okay Miss, your turn." He said before basically pouncing on me. Our lips connected in a rush, molding together as his hands slipped into my jeans. He popped open the buttons with ease, sliding my jeans down my legs. His warms hands squeezed my thighs, coming up to link his fingers with my lace panties.
He pulled away from the kiss, locking eyes with me quickly before sinking down. He gently pulled off the lace, tossing it aside. After a bit, he nipped at my thigh, sucking a bruise. He continued nipping at my thighs, making me get more and more impatient. "Daddy! Please!" I whined, my hips bucking up. He moved, licking a long stripe. I whined as me began sucking on my clit, flicking his tongue every now and then. My hands were buried in his hair, resisting the urge to crush his head with my thighs.
I felt Taehyung's smirk, wrapping his arms around my thighs and pinning me down. I bucked my hips into his mouth, a low moan falling from my lips. "Taehyung, slow down." I whined, my legs shaking in his arms. He did, slowing down his tongue flicks. He let go one of my legs, moving his finger to me gently. Slowly, he pushed his finger in knuckle deep. I couldn't fight the loud moan that fell from me.
"God I fucking love your thighs." He mumbled, drawing circles where one of his arms was still wrapped around me. "So thick and full, so much better than the sticks that throw themselves at me." A small laugh came from me, shaking my head at him. "I'm sure you've had plenty of those sticks in here." He shook his head, drawing his finger out slowly before pushing it back in. I grabbed his wrist, positioning it a bit differently and told him to curl his fingers next time. He followed, hitting exactly where I needed him to. My whole body jerked, making him smile up at me.
"Fuck I've missed you." Taehyung groaned, talking to himself more than anything. I wasn't sure if he meant me, or my heat. I decided not to ask, not wanting to get hurt over something so stupid. His fingers picked up their pace, hitting exactly where I told him. Moans fell from my lips, my head thrown back as I held onto his head. Slowly, I felt an orgasm coming upon me. "Taehyung!" I whined, grabbing his arm and jerking him away. He could easily continue, overpower me completely with just one hand. But Taehyung isn't like that. He became instantly worried."Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop?" He asked, panic striking him from all sides.
I laughed, sitting up. I pulled him to me, kissing him as deeply as I could. "No, you're okay. Just, a bit overwhelming." I smiled. He nodded, sitting up. "Is it okay if I continue, I need to stretch you out. I'd hate to hurt you." He said, slightly hesitant with each word he spoke. "Of course. And what happened to the man that was just so cocky seconds ago?" I asked, teasing him. He scoffed, continuing. He started with one finger, slowly adding a second and beginning a scissoring motion.
Small moans fell from me, gripping his arm where I was able to. Looking down, Taehyung still wore his arrogant smile. After he deemed me stretched and ready enough, he sat up and in between my thighs. He looked around for a few seconds, for what I'm assuming is for a condom or something like that. "No condom." I mumbled, making his attention snap back over to me. His cheeks were slightly flushed and eyes full of concern and slight worry. "I'm on the pill." I reassured. "Yeah, but that's not a 100% you won't get pregnant." Taehyung mumbled, still worried. I laughed, shaking my head at him.
"It's pretty damn close, but if you're really that scared go find one. I'll be here waiting for you." I teased, watching his eyes narrow at me slightly. I giggled as he pounced on top of me, pinning my arms above my head with ease. A small smirk grew on my face as I nibbled slightly on his earlobe. "Daddy, please fuck me." Taehyung couldn't resist anymore, positioning himself before easily sliding in. He let out a loud grunt as he bottomed out, his head falling into my neck. "Fuck, when's the last time you've had sex?"
"What? What do you mean?" I asked, slightly panicking at his question. Taehyung slowly pushed himself up, sitting back on his legs with my thighs in his palms. I propped myself up on my elbows, watching as he slowly slid out before slamming back into me. I jolt of pleasure shot throughout my body. "You haven't been fucked in awhile, no? You're so tight." Taehyung said, placing on of my legs over his shoulder to give him better access. I let out a loud moan as he picked up his pace, gaining a steady and rather quick rhythm. Taehyung was letting out small grunts, his face becoming sweaty and his bangs sticking to his forehead.
"Ah, Taehyung" I whined, grabbing onto his arm as he pounded into me. He scoffed, leaning forward to nail my g-spot. He was folding me in half, basically. "I'll let that one slip, babygirl. But next time you're getting punished." He growled, crashing his lips onto mine while still maintaining his thrusts. As the kiss became rougher, so did his thrusts. The sound of skin hitting skin soon filled the room accompanied by moans. Taehyung's grip was harsh, holding onto my waist and thighs like it was the only thing keeping him alive. I could barely see straight anymore, pleasure washing over me. I smiled, remembering something Taehyung was absolutely weak for. I reached up, taking one of his sensitive buds in between my fingers and flicking it roughly.
He let out a throaty groan, head falling forward slightly. He was focusing on his thrusts, speeding up and slamming harder than before. Profanities spilt from the both of us, gripping onto whatever we could to keep us in place. "Fuck, I'm going to cum." Taehyung moaned, making me smirk up at him. I mumbled a small, then I win. His head shot up, completely forgetting about the dumb bet set long ago. His fingers went straight to my clit, roughly stimulating me. I yelped, holding onto his wrist for dear life while clamping down around him.
His thrusts we're sloppy and more desperate than before, quickly reaching his high. With a few lasts thrusts and moans, he came deep inside of me. As soon as he came, the stimulation caught up and sent me flying over. Bolts of pleasure shot throughout me, my toes curling and head thrown back into the sofa. I ripped Taehyung's fingers away from me, becoming too sensitive. He smirked, sliding his fingers into my mouth. I licked them, rolling my tongue in between. He watched, shaking his head.
My body was shaking, something Taehyung was quick to notice. He laid his body weight on top of me, kissing me with the most passion he ever has. The shaking came to an eventual stop, both of us relaxing for a few seconds. "Well, I guess we both lost." I mumbled, not really knowing how to not make this awkward. Taehyung laughed, shaking his head violently.
"Let's not do that weird thing where you think I'm going to suddenly leave you." He smiled, running his hands up and down my thighs. "I'll go run us a bath." He got up, jogging into the bathroom. I heard water turn on followed by a few drawers opening. After a few moments, he came back and scooped me up into his arms bridle style, making me laugh. Taehyung sat down first, then helping me sit down in between his legs. I let out a small hum, leaning against his torso and relaxing. "You know Taehyung, this is really nice." I smiled, letting him trace little patterns onto my shoulders and chest.
He smiled, kissing my shoulder gently. "Your girlfriend is going to be so lucky, she just doesn't know it yet.", "Well um, I was actually hoping you'd be my girlfriend. And I mean like, official official like dating and going out and doing things together." He laughed, "Not just hook-ups at 3 am.", "Are you serious? You're messing with me?" I calmly said, acting as if I didn't care but the frantic beating in my chest told another story. "Yeah, I've loved you since like high school." Taehyung said, becoming cheesy and acting offended when I made fun of him for it.
"I'd love to be with you Taehyung. I just think it's weird that the youngest CEO in the world is dating a broke college student." I said. "And don't get me wrong, I'm not dating you just because you're a CEO. I actually do love and care about you a lot. I always have cared about you in a more than friends way.", "Stop referring to yourself as a broke college student. You're my best friend since high school, my first ever love and my love now." He said, a dumb smile plastered across his face. I laughed, making fun of him again.
"I'm glad Taehyung. I love you too." I smiled, looking back and pecking his lips. He wore the brightest smile, kissing my shoulders while wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I smiled, "Jesus Christ I'm happy that dick broke up with me." Taehyung laughed in response, "Get broken up by a dick and then dicked down after. You fucking slut.", I laughed, turning around to punch him in the shoulder. "Says the one that was willing to fuck me right there, on the spot." I said, mocking him. "Hey, you never told me to stop. And if you did you know I would've." He said, beginning to ramble and get cheesy again. "Okay, relax. You just fucked me, don't get all phycological about it." You playfully rolled your eyes.
"You know what?? I am glad that this time you wasted it on me" he lovingly kissed your cheek.
The End.
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My Favorite Mistake Pairing: Colin Shea x Reader Word Count: 3525 Warnings: Fluff, angst Image by pinterest.com “You sure you don’t want to meet us later? We should be done with dinner by 8.” “No thanks.” “Y/N, you haven’t been out in weeks. You can’t just stay in that apartment all the time. Put on that cute black dress and meet us at Rave’s.” You pulled the blanket up higher around your chin, making sure it covered your socked feet on the coffee table. “It’s ok, I really appreciate it but I’m really comfy here. I’m gonna check out a new series on Netflix.” Your friend sighed through the phone. “Ok. Call me if you need me, ok?” “Thanks,” you said, ending the call and tucking the phone under the blanket in your lap. It was 7:30 on a Friday night and you were alone, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s serving as dinner as you surfed the TV for something good to watch. It had been exactly three months. Three months since your heart was shattered, three months since you thought your world had ended, three months since you’d allowed yourself to enjoy anything. Everyone warned you, including a few friends that had traveled the same road. Colin was trouble. While everyone agreed he was dangerously sexy and incredibly handsome, everyone knew that for Colin, variety was the spice of life. He’d even told you that he tried one time to settle down with someone, and it was so painful when it ended, he would never do it again. That didn’t stop you though. You’d never forget the moment you’d met him – you were moving in to apartment 6C in a gorgeous, historic building in Boston. It was your first place of your own – your folks were so proud of you and helped you get moved in. On day 3 in your new place, your world changed. You were stepping out your door for work when your neighbor in 6A opened the door to grab his newspaper. He was naked but for a flowered bathroom towel that he held to keep his privacy. He was tall and lean with defined pecs, muscular arms, spiky blonde hair and blue eyes that reminded you of the ocean. And then he smiled, a million watts reaching across the banister to your apartment. “Good mornin’ 6C. I’m Colin,” he’d said in that delicious deep voice. Somehow you’d managed to squeak out your name, trying hard to breathe and keep walking. You had to pass him to get to the stairs, trying not to trip and fall or make an idiot of yourself. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around,” he said as you made your way down the stairs. “I hope so,” you’d replied, your voice sounding stronger than you imagined. A corner of his smile turned up and he gave you a little salute as you headed downstairs. True to his word, he’d knocked on your door that night with a bag of Chinese food and you’d invited him in. You played hard to get that night, even though the four beers and those blue eyes nearly broke your will. But on Friday, when he knocked again, you didn’t even make it through the tacos he brought over. Before you knew it, you’d gone from deep kisses on the couch to your bed, where you fell asleep wrapped around his body after hours of incredible sex. When the sun came up that Saturday morning, you blinked your eyes as you awoke, looking up at the most handsome face and long eyelashes you’d ever seen. You’d kissed his cheek, then peppered his neck and shoulders with kisses, releasing him from sleep and encouraging him to take you again. You’d wrapped your legs around him and he’d carried you into the bathroom, where you ran a hot bath and the two of you snuggled under the bubbles for an hour. The next few days you were inseparable. As soon as you got home from work, he was there. Most every night he stayed in your bed. More than once you’d watched the glow of the sunrise on your bedroom walls as you and Colin couldn’t get enough of each other’s touch. You’d watched some movies, binged a couple of shows, and shared the kitchen preparing some of your favorite recipes. You’d also talked, and talked, and talked. You told him about your ex, the guy you thought was “the one,” even though you certainly never felt for him what you did when you were with Colin. He told you about Allie, who had lived in your apartment before. He’d fallen hard for her and thought maybe he should think about settling with one girl, but she’d broken it off suddenly, and later he learned she’d eloped with one of her exes. The hurt in his eyes had been unbearable. That night you’d made it your quest to make him forget her – he’d called your name more than once and you’d held on to him tight, kissing him with enough passion to wipe out the sad memory of her. There was something so thrilling about being with him. Most of the time you didn’t have a plan, and you loved how each time with him would unfold. You’d spent a few evenings listening to your favorite tunes on the roof of the building, dancing under the moonlight. Colin was always working on songs for his band. He’d strum the guitar and you’d listen intently - you’d even helped him with lyrics on a few. One night Colin texted and told you he had plans and wouldn’t be able to see you. You’d texted back and told him to have a good night, happy to find him waiting at your door the next night after work. A few times he’d left to spend then night at his apartment. You’d noticed he’d checked his phone and figured he had something on his calendar for the next morning. You’d mentioned him to your girlfriends and gotten more than one eyeroll. “How many of you have slept with Colin?” your friend Jenny asked your friends at a bar one night. A few raised their hands. “I’m not stupid,” you’d responded. “I know he likes girls. We’re just friends with benefits.” The words came out, but you knew they were a lie. You were in love with him. Head over heels, heart and soul, forever and ever in love with him. You were in love with a total player who made it his goal to sleep with every girl in Boston. And so, on the morning of the 6-month anniversary of your first evening together, the truth had reared its ugly head. You’d spent the night before at your parents’ house after having dinner with them and had run home to get ready the next morning before heading to work so that you could bring him a gift. You’d picked up his favorite cannolis from the local bakery. You knew he was probably still asleep so you hung the bag on his door and texted him to check when he woke up. As you left for work, you heard a giggle across the hall. A girl opened Colin’s door and peeked around the edge, grabbing the bag of cannolis from the doorknob. You heard his laughter behind her as she closed the door. You froze. You couldn’t catch your breath. Your knees were weak. Tears burned at your eyes. The next few moments were a blur. You marched over to his door and knocked softly. You heard a rustle, then he was there, bare chested, wearing your favorite ripped jeans. “I hope you two enjoy your breakfast. I’m glad I went out of my way to bring it to you on a day that at least means something to me.” You turned on your heel and rushed down the stairs, ignoring him calling your name. You’d broken down on the train, dabbing at the tears to try and save your makeup. The older lady next to you patted your arm as you pulled yourself together. Your phone had dinged all day. Text after text from him, none of which you read. You were upset, but mostly mad at yourself. It was your own fault. He had told you himself that monogamy wasn’t his thing. But it had been impossible not to believe he felt something for you every time the two of you came together. The way he looked in your eyes, the way he held you so close, the way the two of you were entangled for hours on end. Could it really not be more than just sex? That night you’d stayed with a friend, leaving from her house the next morning for work. You’d left work early and slipped into your apartment in the afternoon, changing into his t-shirt and climbing into bed. You’d slept through to the morning, trudging in for another day at work. You couldn’t help but wonder what was happening behind his apartment door. It was unbearable to think of him holding someone else, kissing them the way he kissed you. For weeks, you’d managed to avoid seeing him. More than once you’d heard him come home, then heard a soft knock at your door, but you didn’t answer. There were so many text messages. “Good morning Y/N. Hope your day is good.” “Good night, sweet dreams.” Worst of all, lots of “I miss you” texts that made you want to open the door the next time he knocked. You wanted to see him again. You wanted to just accept that you’d take what you got from him and be happy with it. But knowing that you might be his Thursday and another girl would be his Friday was just too hard. How could he kiss you in that spot on your throat that drove you crazy, and then do the same thing for someone else? How could something so intimate not mean more to him? So for three months, you’d been miserable. Friends had tried to set you up on a couple of blind dates, your mom had even tried to introduce you to one of your dad’s associates, but you just weren’t ready. And now you were sitting home on a Friday night, wrapped up in frumpy sweats and a blanket, feeling sorry for yourself. You didn’t know exactly what got into you but you threw the blanket off and headed for the bathroom. You peeled out of the sweats, turned on the curling iron and grabbed your makeup bag. In 20 minutes you’d pulled on your favorite little black dress, applied makeup for an evening out, curled your hair and grabbed your beaded clutch. You slipped on your strappy high heels and headed for the door. You’d text your friend and let her know you’d be at Rave’s to meet them. As you opened the door, you stopped cold. Colin was in front of you. He had on gray slacks and a pale blue button up shirt, the first three buttons open. His hair was styled, the thin silver chain of his necklace and the tattoo on his chest peeking out from his shirt. His ocean blue eyes lit up when he saw you. He held a bouquet of roses in his hand. You smelled the musky scent you loved so much. “Hey,” he said shyly. “You look amazing.” He licked his lips as he looked you up and down. You went from startled to smug in a few seconds. “I’m on my way out,” you said. “Meeting some friends tonight. Mind moving out of my way?” He hesitated but stepped aside. You brushed past him, looking over your shoulder at him as you rounded the banister. “Y/N, I really want to talk to you.” “Not tonight,” you said confidently, descending the stairs. The club was rocking when you got there and the girls were all glad to see you. You took advantage of all the free drinks they were supplying and did your share of dancing, including a couple of slow dances with hot guys that were knocking each other over to flirt with you. When one asked to walk you to your Uber, you agreed, and took him up on making the ride to your apartment. He’d taken your hand as you ascended the stairs to the 6th floor, chatting and laughing all the way up. You fished in your clutch for your keys when you heard the door behind you open. Your escort put his hand at the small of your back and pulled you in for a kiss just as Colin peered out. You opened your eyes just as he started to close his door. You saw that sadness, the same sadness you’d seen when he’d told you about his broken heart. Your escort started to turn the key but you stopped him. You thanked him for walking you up but said you needed to call it a night. He gave you another kiss and you exchanged phone numbers, then he headed down the stairs. You let out a huge sigh as you stared at 6A. You thought the night out would help extinguish the fire but it continued to rage inside you. You walked over and gently knocked. You held your breath as you watched the door knob turn. “Hey.” “Hey.” “Can I come in?” He pulled the door open a bit more so you could step in. He stood still, looking down at his feet. You pushed the door closed. “Why were you dressed up tonight?” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I had a date.” You felt your heart sink a little. “Oh. How’d it go?” “I don’t know.” You cocked your head a little. “You don’t know?” “Nope.” You shook your head a little. “Why don’t you know?” “Didn’t happen.” You blew out a sigh, a little frustrated. “You had a date, but you didn’t have a date.” “Right.” “Ok,” you said. Maybe it was a mistake coming over. You turned towards the door. “Well, sorry to bother you, just thought I’d say hi.” “Don’t you want to know why it didn’t happen?” You sighed. “Sure, I’ll bite. Why didn’t it happen?” He stepped toward you, then put his hands on the small of your back, pulling you closer. “I went to ask her and she was on her way out.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and looked into those ocean blues. “Where’d she go?” “I don’t know,” he said gruffly, “but she didn’t come home alone.” “Hmm,” you hummed, “wonder if he likes cannolis?” He looked down for a minute, something flashing across his face. Guilt, maybe? To his credit, he met your eyes again. “I’m sorry.” You’d hoped to hear those words for so long. You hoped he’d at least acknowledge that he’d hurt you. “I was an ass. Easily the most asshole thing I’ve ever done. And that’s saying a lot. I’m sorry.” You let out a quiet chuckle. “Definitely a move that will get you in the Asshole Hall of Fame.” It was his turn to laugh and he met your eyes again. “I was scared,” he said. “Scared? Scared of what?” “Of us,” he said. Your eyebrows scrunched in surprise. “What do you mean?” He let out a huff of air and squeezed your hips a little tighter. “You and I, we were really good. I got so used to being with you. Everything about you made me happy. And I got scared. I tried feeling that way before and it broke me. I had to put some space between us.” “So you let some bimbo eat our anniversary cannolis?” He laughed a little, dropping his head and shaking it. “Yeah. I know. I’m a shit.” “Yep,” you said, popping the ‘p’ loudly. “I tried to talk to you. Tried to apologize. I texted, came over a few times. It was clear you weren’t interested in hearing what I had to say. So tonight I decided to step it up.” You felt tears burn at your eyes. You wanted to stay strong and blinked them away. “I did something incredibly stupid,” you said. “Yeah?” “Yeah. I fell in love with you. Even though everyone told me and everything inside me knew I shouldn’t, I did. All of those times being with you,” you said, your eyes glistening with tears. “All of those kisses, all of those touches, they meant something to me. More than just hooking up. I let myself believe they meant something to you too,” you said. “They did,” he said softly in that deep, sexy voice. He lifted a hand to your face, cupping your chin and gently touching his lips to yours. You closed your eyes, soaking in the feeling. You pressed your hands to his chest. He deepened the kiss and you instinctively let your hands slide up and encircle his neck, burying your fingers in the hair there, pulling it a little between your fingers. A soft moan escaped him as he pressed his body closer to yours. He dropped his hand to your hips again, pulling you so close you could feel him through his jeans. Sirens sounded in your brain. You were letting yourself fall down this hole again. You knew how hard it had been to climb out. You gently pulled out of the kiss, licking your lips and rubbing the tip of your nose on his. “I can’t,” you said, a tear escaping your eye. He pressed his forehead to yours, pulling his hand behind your head and caressing your soft hair. “Y/N.” There was no sound like that of your name on his lips. It was like music. You felt yourself shiver as you fought with everything you had not to melt into him. “I want more than you do. It’s too hard. It’s not your fault, it’s just how it is. This – hurts,” you said, a soft sob escaping. “I want it too.” You felt a sad smile cross your lips. “Not like I do Colin. I want all of you. Everything. I don’t want to share. I don’t want you to touch anyone else.” You gently ran your hands up his chest. “I don’t want you to kiss anyone else,” you said as you pressed your lips to his. “I don’t want you to find that special place on anyone else,” you said, pressing your lips to that place on his neck that drove him wild. He growled deep in his throat, encircling your waist with his arms. “Y/N,” he breathed. “It’s ok,” you said sadly. “I was lucky to have you while I did. Most people don’t get to feel what I felt with you.” You ran the backs of two fingers down his cheek, letting yourself dive into those eyes. Every inch of you felt warm. “What if –“ he started, then hesitated. “What if we start again. And I don’t fuck up this time.” You let out a low laugh. “You’d just be setting us up for failure. It’s ok Colin. I don’t –“ His fingers circled your wrists and he covered your lips with his. “It’s not ok. I hurt you.” He kissed you again, this time a little deeper. “It took me seeing you with someone else to really get it. I’ve missed you so much. But seeing you tonight – I just ache. Please tell me we can try again.” He smothered your mouth with his, sucking gently on your bottom lip. “Please Y/N.” You tried taking a breath but it caught in your throat, your heart beating wildly. You’d be a fool to do this again, put yourself out there for more. How did that saying go, insanity was doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result? “Colin –“ “I love you.” You blinked at him, certain you’d just imagined it. “What?” He smiled, that smile that could light up the entire city. He gently pushed a piece of hair behind your ear and let his fingers linger on your earlobe. “I,” he said, kissing the tip of your nose. “Love,” he said, pressing his lips to the apple of your cheek. “You,” he said, locking onto your eyes with his, then gently kissing your lips. “I love us.” You leaned into him, burying your face into the side of his neck, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m afraid.” He pulled you to him, stroking your hair, a hand at your lower back. “I know baby,” he said. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s ok. I’ve got you.” You let yourself melt into him more. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to let go. “What if – what if you get scared again? What if I’m not what you really want? What if you wake up one morning and look at me and realize I’m a mistake?” You felt his chest rumble with a little laugh. “Trust me baby, you’re my favorite mistake.” He pulled back and kissed you, and you let yourself melt into the love of your life.
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cclementinee · 3 years
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post-argument (booboo stewart)
“Fine! You know what, Booboo? You can take your stupid easel, your stupid canvas and fuck off!” You scream at your boyfriend, pushing him towards the door of your apartment. 
“Fine, you fucking psycho! All I wanted was some peace and quiet anyways!” He yells back, making you wince. Booboo never yelled at you, no matter how mad he was. He packs all of his supplies up quickly, which you’re thankful for so he doesn’t see the tears streaming silently down your face, and leaves. With a slam of the door, you’re alone. You sink down to the floor, sniffling as your cat saunters over, rubbing her body against you, almost like she knew what happened. One of your hands reaches down to pet her, the other wipes a stray tear from your cheek. You hated fighting with Booboo and he knew that, which is why his yelling and storming out both surprised and upset you even more. Was that the final straw? Did he not love you- want you- anymore? 
You sit, wallowing in your self pity for about an hour before you hear your phone ringing, you get up but miss it just before your hand grabs your phone. Your screensaver lights up with a notification from the man who’s smiling face was staring back at you. You call him back, he picks up on the first ring, “Y/N?” He asks, sounding hoarse, as if he’s also been crying for the last hour too. He asks you to come down to his studio and you agree, thinking it was a good sign that he didn’t want to break up, throwing on a sweatshirt and grabbing your keys. He hangs up without saying I love you and your heart drops. You can’t think of anything else the entire drive to his studio. This was it, this was his breaking point.
The sound of Elvis’ velvety voice flowing through the hallway of your boyfriend’s art studio was literal music to your ears. This was a good sign. You open the door to the room he was in quietly, being sure not to disturb him; you loved watching him paint. When you walked in, his back was facing you, he was wearing a mustard yellow hoodie and beige sweatpants, no shoes and his long dark brown hair was up in a bun. You tip-toed over to the small burgundy couch in the corner of the room, sitting down and pulling your legs up to your chest, watching him work. A few minutes pass before he turns to dip his brush in a new color, your presence making him jump. You give him a smile and stand, walking towards him. “Is this where you dump me?” you ask, looking down at your hands, fiddling with the gold ring embezzled with a small moon, he made it for you for your 2nd anniversary and you’ve never taken it off. He looks at you in confusion, “No baby, no. No no.” he says, pulling you into a hug when he sees your bottom lip start to tremble. You collapse in his arms, “You yelled at me.” you say softly, looking up at him with a pout on your lips. He shakes his head, running his thumb over your bottom lip, pushing it back in place, something he’s always done when you pouted at him. 
“I know, and I regretted it the second I did it. I love you, I always love hearing you talk about every little thing that crosses your mind. And I am so sorry if I ever made it seem like I don’t.” he mumbles into your hair, squeezing you close a few times before releasing you. “I thought you hated me.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest, sniffling.
“I could never hate you.” he says, and he reaches for you. “Hey baby.” Booboo says in a low voice, still a little scratchy from crying. He really was so beautiful. “What are you thinking about, pretty girl?” he asks, kissing your nose and pulling you into a hug. 
“About how much I love you.” you say quietly, looking up at him and he gives you a toothy grin, leaning in and giving you a peck on the lips, “What about you, Boo?” you ask, running your hands from his shoulders, over his chest before wrapping your arms around his middle. 
“About my girl, always.” he says into your hair, kissing the top of your head and sighing in content. You hum, nuzzling your face into his chest as his hands slip under your sweater, grazing over your hips and rubbing up your back. You stop as you feel a squishy substance touch your nose, “There’s fresh paint on this sweatshirt.” you mumble, pulling away and he starts laughing at your paint covered face. “It’s not funny!” you say, pushing him away jokingly and laughing too. 
“Oh, come on, Y/N. Now we can shower together.” he says, waggling his eyebrows at you, still laughing and reaching for you again. You let him pull you close and look up at him, batting your eyelashes and puckering your lips. He leans down and closes the space between you, wasting no time and wiping his tongue over your bottom lip, you open your mouth and let his tongue massage yours as his hands trail from your hips to your backside, squeezing your ass and pulling you closer, if that was even possible. He starts to walk you backwards towards the couch, sitting down and pulling you down to straddle his lap. His hands ghost over your hips, up your sides and he separates your lips only to pull off your sweatshirt, grinning when he sees you were bare underneath it. His lips go to your neck, leaving hot, wet kisses down to your chest before taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and then pulling away, kneading it with his thumb whilst blowing cool air on it. You bite your lip, sighing softly as you reach to take his sweatshirt off as well. He pulls it off, throwing it behind him and pulls you back in for another kiss, biting on your bottom lip as one of his hands dives below the waistband of your leggings, your breath hitches in your throat as his fingers brush against you. He looks up at you through his thick lashes, “You like that, baby?” he asks, one of his fingers circling your clit as he continues kissing down your neck. You nod, unable to get a word out before he inserts two fingers inside you without any warning. You moan out his name as he pumps them in and out. “That’s right, baby, who’s making you feel this good?” he breathes before capturing your lips in another kiss, swallowing every one of your moans selfishly. 
You break away, chest heaving, “Please fuck me.” you beg and before you could utter another sound, he flips your body so you’re underneath him. His hands work to get the rest of your clothes before he kicks off his sweats, he kisses you again and pumps himself in his hand a few times before sliding his tip between your soaked folds, teasing you before pushing in and bottoming out inside you. You both let out a moan before he starts a steady pace, one hand beside your head and the other on your hip. Your hands find their way to his shoulders, gripping onto them tightly, nails digging in. One trails a line of fire up to his bun, letting his hair out and he smiles, “Gonna pull on it baby?” he asks rhetorically, he already knew the answer but you decide to show him by wrapping your fist around his hair in a makeshift ponytail and pulling, earning a low grunt from your boyfriend. Then you get an idea.
“Baby, baby, wait…” You start, whimpering softly in his ear as he starts hitting your spot with every thrust. “I want you to fuck me from behind and pull my hair.” you say, smiling shyly up at him. He all but has a conniption as he pulls out, helping you turn and get on all fours. He slowly slides back in, hands on your waist as he does. One of them gently glides up your body, tracing a line to the nape of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair and he pulls your head back, his lips pressing back into your neck, “Call me daddy, baby.” he moans, setting the pace again, hitting every inch of you with every thrust.
“D-Daddy, please, holy shit-” you moan, a hand reaching behind you and tangling itself in his hair, he moans out as his thrusts start to get sloppy, and one of his hand cups one of your breasts, squeezing gently as he pushes you both to your orgasms. “Daddy, yes, fuck- I’m there!” you scream out, legs shaking as he pushed in deeper, if that was even possible. Within minutes you were cumming together, falling into a tangled heap on the small sofa. As you both caught your breath, he wrapped you in his arms, snuggling up to you. “I love you, Boo.” you breathe out, barely above a whisper, nuzzling your head into his neck.
“I love you.” He replies, kissing your forehead, “I promise I’ll never yell at you again.” He whispers, twirling a piece of your hair around one of his fingers. His lips ghosted over your fingers as he held your hand up to his mouth, kissing each finger gently, his lips pausing over your ring. “Do you remember when I gave this to you?” he asked, smiling down at you.
You nod, smiling back at him, “Of course I do, B. It was our 2 year anniversary, every plan we had made fell through but you were determined to give me this.” you say, laughing and he kisses you gently, deepening the kiss only after pulling you on top of him, his hands on your waist. You decided that spending every post-argument in his arms was exactly what you wanted to do for the rest of your life, and unbeknownst to you, so did he. 
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nathanknowsitall · 4 years
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Dedicated
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Summary: Harry asks what your favorite song off of Fine Line is.
Notes: This is set in December 2019, post-Fine Line release. Happy one year of Fine Line! Hope you enjoy! <3
“Harry, your album is just absolutely perfect! I’m a little bit jealous that we didn’t get to listen to it sooner honestly...”, your friend said, teasing. 
Your couple friends had invited you and Harry to go on a double date to celebrate Harry’s album coming out. After you had gone out to dinner, you both were hanging out at their house and drinking wine as the vinyl edition of Fine Line played in the background. 
Harry was extremely embarrassed about the whole thing, from the way that most of the conversation at dinner had been about him to the fact that you had cheered drinks “to the wonderful Harry Edward Styles” to the way that Fine Line was playing in the background right now. 
His blush was faint as he thanked your friend for the compliment while sipping on his wine glass. You rubbed his leg as you made eye contact with him, making sure that he was alright. He smiled back at you, mouthing “I’m fine” as he winked at you.
“But you got to listen to it early, right, Y/N?”, your friend said. You nodded as you made eye contact with Harry again. 
“Yeah, I did...It’s so special, H”, you elaborated as you touched Harry’s face for a second, just selfishly needing the intimacy. His eyes filled with warmth and surprise at your praise. He hadn’t known that you had listened to it early or at all but hearing the praise from your lips was divine.
“Aww...that’s so sweet. You guys are awfully in love”, your friend joked at the PDA.
“Yeah, when are you getting married? We could both be married couples then!”, her husband joked. 
Both you and Harry had that wide eyed, deer caught in the headlights look as you looked at them. A little bit of wine had even spilled out of Harry’s mouth and onto his linen shirt. 
Your friends hysterically started laughing at you two, making you and Harry laugh as well. 
“Well, I think we got that one answered!”, your friend joked as she went to go get something for Harry’s shirt in the kitchen. 
“We sure did!”, her husband added, as he stood up. “Who wants some dessert?”, he offered. 
“Yes!”, you and Harry both said at the same time, making each other laugh as you walked into their kitchen hand in hand. 
-
After you said goodbye to your friends, you and Harry walked to the car hand in hand, happy as can be.
As Harry drove you back to his house, you couldn’t help but admire him. He was such a talented person and yet he was still so humble about all of his success, blushing about it whenever anyone even mentioned it. He made a point of being kind to everyone he met even when they weren’t so kind to him. He never made anyone in his life feel neglected despite being a famous rockstar. He was so open to learning from others in order to become a better person that it was inspiring. You could think of a million reasons why you loved his personality before you would even think to mention his looks, even though he was the most beautiful person ever. 
He made sure you felt equal to him in all respects. He respected your boundaries and you respected his. He never pressured you to change for him. He never made you feel bad about yourself, no matter how bad you were fighting. He never made you feel like he was embarrassed of you, no matter how awkwardly you acted in front of his famous friends or when you couldn’t get a full sentence out when meeting his mom for the first time. He made you feel admired emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, in every way.
As you got out of the car and into his house, your thoughts wandered back to the conversation you had earlier with your friends. You knew it was too early to consider marriage, you had only been dating for a couple of months, but you were sure that Harry was the love of your life. Even if you never got married or even broke up, you knew there was always some part of yourself that would be dedicated to Harry. 
As you wandered outside into the backyard, you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about Harry and what a future with him would look like. 
After a while, you felt two arms come up from around you and a head sit on your shoulder. 
“You’ve been quiet all night, love. What’s happening in here?”, he said as he kissed your temple. You felt yourself blush at the thought of telling Harry about how you were thinking about what a wonderful father he’d be. 
“I’ll tell you later, but I need to know about you right now. Are you okay? I know that it was...a lot for you tonight...”, you said, as Harry lightly giggled. 
“I’m okay, baby...it’s was just...a bit much”, he said honestly. You nodded then laid your head on his chest, swaying slightly. This was something that you had learned was comforting for him. 
“But also...I’ve been thinking about what you said about the album...”, Harry said. 
You pulled apart from him, looking at him in the eyes, curious about what he meant. 
“I meant what I said, Harry. I absolutely I love it”. Harry seemed embarrassed but satisfied as he smirked at you. 
“Oh, so you’re a fan?”, Harry cockily said as he winked at you, making you suddenly feel very shy as you looked down and buried your face in his chest. 
Harry must’ve known that you listened to his music, but you had never really discussed it in depth with each other. You had never really admitted that you were a fan of his. 
You never told him that when you cleaned, his music filled your house. You never told him that his music was prevalent throughout your playlists. You never told him that you had bought his albums despite the fact that you knew Harry would get them for you for free. You never told him that you had cried, laughed, and sang loudly to his songs in your free time. 
“And so what if I am?”, you said, teasingly, challenging Harry. You lifted your head from his chest and looked into his eyes. They seemed to be searching your eyes, looking for some trick or joke in them. You just stared at his, admiring as his pupils dilated. 
“If you’re such a fan, you must have a favorite song...”, Harry teased. 
“Well...I have a lot of favorites...”, you teased back.
“How about from your first listen?”, he specified. “The early listen you got? Hmm? What was a standout for you?”, he teased. 
You hid your head in his shoulder, embarrassed about how you basically jumped at the opportunity when Jeff offered to let you have a listen. You could tell that Harry wasn’t mad or angry or had any hard feelings about it, but you also knew that Harry would probably never let it go if he knew what a fan of him you were.
“Umm...I liked Cherry a lot...”, you whispered into his ear. You could hear his breath hitch and you started to rub his back, trying not to freak him out. 
“You don’t feel weird knowing that it’s about my ex?”, he whispered.
You immediately shook your head, “Never Harry. I never would be.” 
You heard him audibly let out a sigh. You giggled a bit as you separated from him, holding his hands instead as you looked at him. 
“It’s just such a beautiful song about love and exes and loving too hard and heartbreak and seeing them with a new person and-It’s so good Harry”, you said as you looked at where your hands were linked.
“You don’t think it’s pathetic?”, he asked shyly.
“Isn’t that the point of it?”, you said as you raised your head up to see him. He still had his head down, looking guilty and embarrassed. You came up to him and hugged him, placing your head on his shoulder. 
“I love you so, so, so unbelievably much Harry. I don’t care if every song you release is about someone else, as long as I know that you’re as in love with me as I am with you right now.”
Harry pushed you softly off of him and you looked into his red-rimmed eyes. 
“I am so in love with you, Y/N. You make every day of my life better. You make me feel so comfortable and loved and special even when I come home from work late and complain about things that are so stupid and petty you still listen. I love when we get to spend the night together and you lay on my chest while we watch romcoms. I love when you let me take care of you when you come home from work and let me make dinner and make a bath for you. I love you so much I can’t believe that we only met a few months ago and-I was going to save this for our one year anniversary, but I can’t wait any longer-will you marry me, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N?”. He said as went down on one knee, slipped a red velvet box out of his jacket, and opened it to reveal a gorgeous ring. 
You felt your heart beat so fast as you put your hands over your mouth. He looked expectantly up at you, eyes watery, yours probably no better. You swallowed hard, finally letting out a small “Yes.”
147 notes · View notes
curly-bangtan · 5 years
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Blizzard (M)
Pairing: roommate!Jungkook x reader
Summary: When a blizzard hits your town, you and your shy awkward roommate are forced to spend time together, not being able to leave the house due to the strong snowstorm. To make matters worse, the power gets cut in the middle of his shower. Which also means no heating.
Genre: roommate au, domestic au, fluff, smut, strangers to lovers
Warnings: bit of a slow burner, vanilla!Jungkook, virgin!reader, dry humping, penetrative sex, fingering, oral (m receiving), losing virginity, shy soft boy Koo with a crush and a noona kink, your heart could possibly burst from how cute he is
Word Count: 15.5k oops
A/N: (This fic is written in parallel to Heatwave, with an opposing concept in mind. You don’t have to read Heatwave to read this, but it would be interesting and funny to see the differences in the two scenarios that both lead to roommates hooking up.) Also, happy birthday, bunny boy! Sorry this was a day late, I was honestly swarmed. I love you, koo. Writing this very much gave me a bias crisis but it was all worth it. Enjoy! :”)
PS. Think April 2019 Jungkook 
.
‘A severe snowstorm is set to hit us this weekend with temperatures dropping down to -16˚C. It is therefore ill-advised for anyone to leave their houses during this period until the blizzard subsides as the fifth snow-induced traffic accident has been reported this week in our town…’
You have always marvelled at how the weather lady announces such things with such a passionate captivating tone.
‘The calculated probability of a city-wide power cut is currently at 72%, so please be well-equipped to stay indoors for the next two days.’
Oh shit. A power cut?
This is not good at all. Not like you have any plans for this weekend anyway, and you wouldn’t necessarily mind being stuck inside since you are good at entertaining yourself. But to possibly have no warm water, no internet in the duration of these few days?
You are currently snugly rolled up in the warmth of your blanket burrito, a mug of chamomile tea fitted in your hands, the steam of which evaporates under your chin into a slick coat. Friday evenings have never been eventful for you as long as Jimin doesn’t drag you out to some bar with him. As introverted as one can get, you much prefer staying in and watching TV or endlessly browsing the web.
The distinct rattling of keys spins your attention to the front door. Hearing the plunge of the metal into the keyhole is strangely satisfying to your ears. In steps a pink-nosed, frost-dusted Jungkook, all wrapped up in winter apparel thick enough to make him waddle clumsily.
A gust of cold flares inside from the harsh outdoors, stray flakes of snow flying in after him and landing on the rich oak tiles of the foyer. From the couch, you see his silhouette breathe out a visible grey huff. The door behind him falls shut, once again entrapping the warm temperature into the confines of these walls.
You watch your roommate, humming to himself with his black earpods hooked in his ears, as he unties the scarf around his neck. He probably hasn’t noticed your presence yet; he’s always been a little clueless afterall.
Then he looks up and meets your lingering gaze.
You both jump a little, his humming ceases instantly, eyes scrambling, darting away to your surroundings: the quiet television, the arching lamp, the white powdered window panes. Anywhere but at each other.
Clearing your throat, you greet him softly . ‘Hi.’ Your thumb rubs at the lip-shaped tea stain on the rim of your mug.
‘Um, hi. Good evening, noona.’ He dips his head at you, hood drooping lower over his head. You are two years his senior, and despite your supposed familiarity, he insists on formalities.
The weather lady has now been replaced with the anchorman, who is droning on about the car accident this morning. Awkwardness hangs in the air between you, as it always does every time you speak. It’s now your turn to say something, you’re painfully aware. But what do you say?
‘Snow storm.’ It is a statement more than anything. As if he hasn’t noticed… Nice one. You immediately want to hide your face in the mint furry throw you’re wrapped in.
‘Yeah. Snow storm.’ The rubbery sound of the careless removal of his shoes against the floor is louder than his response. ‘Jimin didn’t make it.’
Your blood freezes. ‘Wait what?! Oh my god! What happened to him?’ It takes the blanket sliding off you for you to realise that you’ve stood up abruptly. Your body is immediately flushed with a breeze of cold, devoid of insulation.
The car accident… It can’t be…
Jungkook’s attention flickers to the glaring screen as he paces towards you and realises how he must’ve sounded. ‘Woah, sorry, I worded it badly. I mean, Jimin’s stuck at Taehyung’s because the snow is too thick for him to drive back. And the service on his phone is whack, so he can’t reach you. Taehyung told me. Sorry, I didn’t mean he didn’t make it.’ Nervous chuckle. Scratching the back of his head.
Never has he said this many words to you in one go, this must be a record. That, as well as your own silly misunderstanding of his words, makes you release a humoured breath. ‘Oh right… Haha… I’m stupid.’
‘No. my bad.’
Wow. If you two keep this up, this might just be your longest running conversation in the history of living together.
Because he’s looking at the floor rather than you, you feel the liberation to look directly at his face. His round nose is red from the freezing temperature, his teeth gnawing at his chapped lips. You follow his gaze travel across the dark wooden panels, reaching a halt at your feet.
‘You’ve got a hole in your sock, noona.’ He states.
Indeed you do. Under his wide-eyed glare, you can’t help but curl your toes inwards as if it would hide your pinkie jutting out of the fabric. The way he addresses you, how his lips form a pouted ring when he pronounces the “oo”, makes you particularly self conscious. ‘Oh… Yeah, I know, it’s fine. It’s my only pair of fuzzy socks.’ These socks have sheltered your feet for three winters only to betray you now, during a bloody blizzard. The icy floor licks at your exposed skin tauntingly.
Silence draws taut between you. Like you’re tied to opposite ends of a string and are both trying desperately to escape, to walk away from each other.
It’s his move now… Why isn’t he saying something? But at the same time, what can he possibly respond to ‘It’s my only pair of fuzzy socks.’?
‘Right… See you.’ Jungkook nods politely and heads for his room. And you know you probably won’t see him reemerge until tomorrow; it’s practically his batcave in there.
A shudder courses through your body. Though it’s not from the cold but rather the embarrassment of that encounter. Quickly switching off the TV, you hide back in the comforts of your blanket like a Halloween ghost and scurry into your own room to avoid seeing him again.
.
Jeon Jungkook.
Even the thought of his name makes you crease inward involuntarily like it’s some bad memory. Despite having lived under the same roof for more or less six months, neither of you have warmed to the other in the slightest. It’s not that you have anything against him; you’re sure he must be a lovely boy, but…
Well, when you put two shy individuals next to each other, you can’t really expect them to bond over their bashfulness. No, they both tend to retract into their shells.
How you came about living together is three simple syllables: Park Jimin. If it wasn’t for this one common thread you share, your worlds would never have collided.
Ever the caring friend, it goes without saying that Jimin would rent out his vacant room in his three-bedroom house to you without even a second of hesitation after Hoseok ditches the boys to move in with his girlfriend. You’ve met all his friends before. Jimin is a social butterfly afterall, how could he resist forcing all his best mates into a confined space and make them talk to each other, or more commonly known as a party?
Namjoon and you get along just fine, seeing as you both are whores for literature. Seokjin? As long as you compliment his cooking and force a giggle at his jokes, he’ll accept your friendship. Surprisingly, Yoongi took a liking to you; you guess is due to your mild mellow nature which must clear his headaches caused by this chaotic bunch. Unsurprisingly, Hoseok took a liking to you, well, because he’s Hoseok and incapable of negativity. Much to Jimin’s jealousy, you have a soft spot for Taehyung, his mysterious charm and boyish charisma; your friendship was almost instant.
But then Jungkook…
Your introduction was a blur of awkward hellos and unmet eyes. Every time you spoke to each other, it’s a nervous stutter from him or unwarranted silence from you. Worse, if the two of you happened to bump into each other in public, neither of you knew whether or not to say hi and commence a conversation like normal acquainted people, so it always ended up being an uncomfortably long pause before nodding out of courtesy then parting ways. It’s not like you belong to the same friendship group and see each other every week or anything.
Jungkook’s playful childisness shines brightly when surrounded by the boys, witch-cackle laugh and all. However, for some reason unbeknownst to anyone, this goofy side to him is immediately switched off in your presence, as if you’re the rain that extinguishes the flame of his candle. His body stiffens, eyes widen, voice stammers. Which only leads you to mirror his behaviour.
‘He’s just really uncomfortable around girls.’ Jimin has tried to offer the only plausible explanation. ‘Poor kid went to an all boys’ school his whole life, has only ever had one girlfriend who dumped him on their one year anniversary. Your femaleness scares him.’
That would be kind of cute, you guess, if you weren’t also a socially-uncomfortable hermit who requires soft gentle prodding in order to befriend. Because then you become two logs sitting beside each other, neither willing to inch towards the other.
Forgive Jimin’s mistake of thinking that sharing a roof would change this. Because how wrong was he… If anything, it only led to increased timidity around each other.
When you first moved in, Jungkook was eager to help you carry and unpack everything, seeing as he is the most physically apt person in the house. So you thought that it was his first step towards you, and that your dynamic was finally making progress into becoming one that’s more comfortable. He even lingered around your room the first few days with Jimin to help you open all your cardboard boxes.
However, he has since struggled to utter more than five words to you. Which has continued forth until this day. In the morning rush to class, you never encounter him due to your proneness to punctuality and his to tardiness. If you ever do, it’s only ever just a quick good morning, noona without looking up from his cereal. You both enjoy the safety of your own rooms, hence rarely peak your head out unless it’s for food. Jimin is always the one to drag you out by the foot, even if its just to his room or the sofa to watch a film with him. You say drag, but really you just enjoy seeing Jimin all pouty and whiny and sucking up to you in order to earn precious quality time with you; you actually enjoy being around Jimin. It’s worse for Jungkook though because he has his own ensuite bathroom, orders Deliveroo instead of coming out to eat with you two, and only ever joins social gatherings that you’re also involved in if a high enough bribe is offered.
Hence the time you and Jungkook are exposed to each other gradually diminished over time despite being roommates. At first you only suspected, but now you know for a fact, that he is purposely avoiding you like the plague.
It baffles you, if Jimin’s theory is true, how he could possibly be scared of you, regardless of his shyness towards the female specimen. Look at you, you’re this soft-mannered, quiet-spoken creature with a meek presence. You have more reason to be intimidated by his melon-sized biceps and aggressive shouts that echo from his room when he’s gaming at 2am.
So due to this mutually reciprocated mousiness, this awkward friendship-but-not-quite thing, has never been overcome in these months.
This is not a result of lack of trying, at least from your end. You do try to talk to him, exerting enough friendliness to burst your balloon of introversion. And you suppose he does make as much effort as he can as well. He once left you a note telling you to help yourself to the leftover pizza in the fridge. On your birthday, he gave you a card in which he drew cute little cartoon illustrations of you three housemates and wrote a short message.
Happy birthday, Y/N noona!
You are such a kind person, I hope we can speak more.
Jungkook :)
You thought the exclamation mark and smiley face were above and beyond for his standards. It made you smile for the rest of the day.
.
It’s 6:23pm and your growling stomach is exacerbated by the cold that has made itself at home in your bones. You’ve always been an early dinner person while Jimin and Jungkook are the opposite.
You’ve managed to get a hold of Jimin through Taehyung; your FaceTime call with him lasted a total of twelve minutes before the connection got too poor that it hung up on its own. Berating Jimin for leaving you alone with Jungkook, especially in this snow storm where everyone is basically on house arrest, all he did was laugh at your feign annoyance. You know it isn’t Jimin’s fault but you still like to blame him for all the awkward predicaments that are bound to happen.
After this chapter of the book you’re reading, you’ll go out to the kitchen and make some dinner, you decide.
Wait a second... Do you even have enough food in the pantry to last a whole weekend? Particularly since Jungkook can easily demolish three bowls of rice and a whole pound of meat, and still have room for dessert?
Looking out the window, you realise it’s snowing way too hard for you to feel confident to pop to the nearest grocery store without slipping and dying.
Shit! What are you going to eat these few days? Especially since the electricity can cut any minute?
Just then, you hear the echo of the front door shutting. Oh no… Jungkook did not just go out in this weather. He probably noticed the lack of food as well and decided to go for a shop. You know what he’s like, he’s a boy who’s really certain of his capabilities, over certain in fact. He probably does not see the hazard of leaving the house in such heavy snow, especially in the evening. Because nothing stands in the way between Jungkook and Food.
Do you go after him? Hell, if you do, you would probably get lost somewhere and slowly freeze to your inevitable death. You can barely navigate in perfect daylight.
Scrambling for your phone, you begin searching for his number. You’ve embarrassingly only called him once, and that was when you and Jimin got locked out of the house after a pub night.
No one is picking up.
In fact, when you check your screen, you don’t even have signal. The blizzard must be getting so bad that it’s refracting the radio waves. Which means it’s even worse for Jungkook to be out right now.
He’s such an idiot. Why did he think it’s okay to just take a walk to the supermarket right now in the middle of a snow storm? You’re such an idiot. Why were you too lazy to stock up on food during the day?
You pace around your room, phone clutched in your hand in case you miraculously get signal somehow. How on earth would you explain to Jimin that your roommate, his friend, whom he left in your care since you’re his senior, went out in a blizzard to buy food that you were supposed to have gotten this morning, and ended up dead from hypothermia?
Are you overreacting? Surely you’re overreacting. Everything is going to be fine! Deep breaths.
He’s going to come back any minute now and see you losing your mind over nothing. Right? Right.
Jungkook isn’t going to die. You’re being paranoid. Ridiculous. Overly anxious as usual.
But you can’t help yourself from pressing your face against your window to try to peek outside for a sign of him. The glass is ice cold against your skin, and it sends a blood-chilling shock through your veins. You can barely make out any shapes in the sea of greys and whites.
If you can’t even see out the window, how is he walking outside right now?
Screw it, you’re going to find him.
You’re a tornado getting dressed, whipping on your massive faux-fur lined puffer coat over two layers of fleece. A pair of gloves, double layer of socks, snow boots. Useless phone and hand warmers shoved in your pockets, you storm out of the house.
The cold that greets you burns up your nostrils and painfully invade your lungs. Snow is flying directly at your face, and you’re barely sheltered by your hood as you feel the icy flakes stab at your skin and melt away. Step by wary step, you steadily walk off your porch, careful not to slip. Your heart leaps out of your chest when your feet sink down at least 10 inches of snow, your squeal is muffled by the scarf you’re using as a ski mask.
It’s now been at least 10 minutes since he’s left. Jungkook is a fast walker, but in the snow, perhaps you could catch up with him.
The flickering lamp posts light up the night, but they may as well not be working because all you can see is white. Barely able to keep your eyes open, and batting away the heavy wind that’s threatening to blow you over, you trek in the direction of the local supermarket.
You don’t know how much time has passed when you realise that you don’t recognise the way anymore. Everything is a blur of snow. The cars, houses, street signs. All snow. Google maps is failing you; you’ve given up removing your gloves each time, your fingers instantly freezing at the exposure, to zoom in or rotate the navigation which keeps hopping from location to location.
You’re utterly and undeniably - lost.
Stopping dead in your tracks, you just plop down on your ass in defeat.
Where the hell are you? Where the hell is Jungkook?
Fear and frustration bubbles in your chest. It must have been half an hour now since you left the house. Surely he should be back, and surely he would’ve intercepted you on the way. That could either mean one of two possibilities: he got lost, slash, injured, slash, died on his way, or you have somehow strayed from the route to the store and he’s now frantically searching for you.
The lump in your throat festers into a ball of panic and despair. Looking around you, there’s absolutely no one. Just eerily-still buildings and snow-hidden cars. The only sound is the howl of the winter gust and your own uneven breathing.
You’re scared, and cold, and alone.
Why the hell did you think you could find him in this snow storm? You watch your warm visible exhale disperse in the icy air, the stinging of desperate tears piercing the back of your eyes. What are you supposed to do now?
And then it hits you. Perhaps you could trace your steps back since your feet have imprinted a trail in the snow. Looking behind you, you see that the downpour of snow has already began filling the footprints nearest to you. You’re praying that they haven’t already entirely covered your earlier steps closer to the house.
Gathering yourself together, you exert a lot of effort to stand up from the ground. Your butt is now wet, and a damp chill is seeping into your underwear. Determined, you follow your footsteps, which are growing fainter, back home.
You’re hoping you recognise the way now, that you’re not just convincing yourself that the street looks familiar.
Then an awful realisation hits you.
Both your hands are stuffed into your pockets, holding those hand-warming packets and your phone. But not your keys. You forgot your keys.
‘Fuck!’ Cursing is rare for you, but anyone would probably deem this situation as a very reasonable one to swear at.
Hot gushes of tears begin flooding down your face, painting streaks of cold that freeze over in a matter of seconds. How could you be this dumb? The snow is getting heavier right now. Checking the time on your phone, it’s 7 o’clock. The streetlights are dimming due to the weather, and the pitch dark night is starting to settle in around you.
You sink to a crouch.
This is it then, you guess. You’ve met your inexorable demise, rooted from your own stupidity. And Jungkook.
You can’t believe you’re going to die trying to find Jungkook in a goddamn snow storm.
The quiet sobs and sniffles that escape you are muted by the hood around your ears. A shiver overtakes your body as your muscles tremble as a last attempt to keep you alive. Your whole face is numb, teeth clattering, eyes clamped shut to stop the tears from freezing on your cheeks.
‘Noona?’
The voice is muffled but you recognise it instantly. Your eyes fly open to see a pair of shoes halted in front of you. You look up.
And there Jungkook is, eyes wide in shock, quivering lips parted in concern, carrying four plastic bags full of food and supplies. The streetlight situated directly behind him shines a halo around his head, painting a heavenly image of him. You’ve never been more glad to see anyone in your life.
Unable to contain yourself, you fling your ice-stiffened arms around his waist and bury your face in his coat-clad torso. Your knees give in and hit the ground. New tears spring from your eyes, but this time it’s tears of relief, tears of joy, tears of gratitude. A surge of his warmth washes over you, and all of a sudden, the cold cannot touch you.
‘W-What happened? Are you- Are you okay?’ Jungkook is rooted to the ground, he wants to wrap an arm around your small head or help you up but his hands are full with the groceries.
Gripping his sleeves, you tug yourself up to face him. You probably look like a mess, red eyes, nose and cheeks. But you don’t care. Jungkook is alive, you’re alive, and you’ve found each other. ‘Yeah, I’m fine, Jungkook. Everything is fine.’
‘You’re crying, noona.’ His ears are neatly tucked under his black knitted beanie.
‘Not anymore, I’m good now.’ Ferociously wiping the liquids profusely leaking out of your orifices, you give him the biggest grin your frozen cheek muscles would allow. ‘Let’s go home. Do you need help with the bags?’
‘No, don’t worry about them.’
Standing an inch apart, you walk side by side following his lead, assuming he knows the way. The material of your coats scrape at each other when either of you leans a bit too far towards the other.
‘What are you doing out here though?’ He asks quietly.
What are you doing out here? How do you give him an explanation that does not depict you as an idiot? Because once again, you’ve been stupid and dramatic and stressed over absolutely nothing. It’s twice in the same day now that you thought one of your roommates have died. When both of them turned out to be alive and well.
‘Um… Well, I thought it was dangerous for you to go outside alone in this weather, especially since it’s getting dark... I tried calling you but had no signal so, uh, I decided to... uh, come out to find you…’ Embarrassment begins to creep it’s way to your senses, it claws digging into your skin.
You peak at him in your peripheral vision to see him stiffen, eyes eerily focused on the snowy path in front. What is he thinking? Is he going to laugh at you? Think you’re dumb? Find you weird and obsessive?
‘Oh… Um.’ Clearing his throat, he glances at you and you quickly look away. Flustered. ‘You didn’t have to, I’m fine. I know this neighbourhood like the back of my hand, noona.’
‘Yeah, but you took so long. I got worried…’ You whisper the last bit.
An awkward pause is birthed. Your fists tighten around the hand warmers in your pockets.
‘I- I’m sorry for worrying you, noona.’ You hear his own fists tighten around the handle of bags as well, the plastic crinkling. ‘The supermarket around the corner was shut so I had to find another one that wasn’t. I made it just in time, though, right before this one closed as well. Then I also had to find a store that sells those so-’ He stops abruptly when he realises that he’s rambling.
‘Sells what?’
‘Doesn’t matter.’ Jungkook mumbles.
Another silence. The night has fallen, looking around, if it isn’t for the scarce light casted by the lamp posts, everything would be pitch dark. You’re so glad you’re not alone. Worse come to worse, you would’ve had to knock on these random houses and beg them to take you in for the night.
‘Wait,’ he says, ‘That doesn’t explain why you were crying.’
Well, crap. What are you supposed to say?
‘Uhh… Well, I got lost and my phone wasn’t working, so… I just kinda panicked.’ If your face wasn’t red from the cold and embarrassment from before, it definitely is now. You feel the blood pumping to your head, enough to make you sway a little.
‘Oh shit. I’m sorry, that was all my fault. I- I should’ve told you I was popping out in the first place. Ugh, noona, I’m sorry.’ You’ve never seen him display much emotion towards you, but currently, seeing him so alive with exasperation… It’s kind of endearing.
Screw earlier, this is the longest conversation the two of you have had, ever.
‘No, Jungkook, stop apologising. It wasn’t your fault at all!’
To be fair, you couldn’t have wandered that far if Jungkook found you on his way back from whatever shop he went to; you must’ve been close at least.
And so you two arrive safely to your house. Carefully wobbling up the porch slippery with slush, you stop in front of the door.
He looks at you expectantly. ‘Keys, noona?’ Of course, his hands are full.
Here you are, thinking you could’ve gotten away with not telling him you had moronically left your keys at home. ‘Um, I forgot to bring them with me.’ You utter, then add. ‘I was in a hurry.’
For a second, Jungkook looks like he’s about to tell you off for endangering yourself with such stupidity. But he just lets out a half-laugh half-sigh and bites down on his lip. ‘Mine are in my left, no, right back jean pocket.’
Right. He is asking you to get his keys from his back pocket.
His back pocket.
You freeze.
You’ve never so much as touched Jungkook, if you don’t count brushing shoulders. Hugging him back there was purely out of hysteria, which you retracted from the second you registered your action. Now, you’re going to grope his ass. This day just keeps getting you more familiar with him, doesn’t it?
Gulping, you suck up your cowardice and slide your hand into his back pocket, intentionally not looking at him while doing so. The firmness of his buttcheek fits snugly in your palm while your index finger hooks around his keyring. And what the hell, you strangely get the urge to squeeze it.
You yank your hand out of there before it can betray you and act on that impulse. Glimpsing up, you see that his cheeks are also crimson as he stares up at the ceiling a little too attentively.
.
After changing into some warm dry clothes and setting your snow-dampened ones on the radiator, you go out to the kitchen to see Jungkook cooking some ramen, which doesn’t come as a surprise as he practically lives off them. He’s dressed in sweatpants and a black hoodie; after cupping his ass through his back pocket, you can’t help but notice how round his rear is, especially in those bottoms.
God, what is wrong with you? You cannot seriously be checking Jungkook’s ass out.
This time his hood his down, and you appreciate how fluffy his hair is starting to grow. You can’t help but wonder what it sme-
Woah.
Why are you thinking so much about Jungkook?
Truth be told, that scare he gave you just now opened your eye as to how much you actually care about him. Despite never really saying much to each other, you guess you’ve grown a sort of fondness for him that you didn’t realise you have. It’s only natural; you have known each other for close to a year now, and half of which was spent under the same roof. Of course you would worry for his well being, you tell yourself.
The kitchen fan must be blocking his hearing because he doesn’t sense your approach, he’s singing softly to himself. He’s got a lovely voice, both your roommates do. But whereas Jimin sings loudly and proudly, Jungkook only does so in the shower or when he doesn’t think anybody is listening.
When he notices you finally, you’re peering over his shoulder. He jumps. You jump. The chopsticks he’s using to stir the noodles fly out of his hands, clattering on the counter.
‘Oh jeez, you scared me.’ He picks up the chopsticks.
‘Sorry.’ You squeak and take a step back when you realise your proximity.
‘Haha…’ He chuckles nervously, embarrassed. ‘Noona, you like jajangmyeon, right?’
Do you like jajangmyeon? You live and breathe jajangmyeon. You can’t go a week without jajangmyeon. You’ve had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner before all in one day. Those noodles in that sauce… Mmm…
‘Yeah, they’re my favourite.’ Is all you say though, you figure he probably doesn’t care for a whole speech about your love for them. Surely he knows at this point, there isn’t a single day in this house where the ramen cupboard is devoid of jajangmyeon.
‘Great, I’m making you some.’
Oh. Jungkook is cooking for you. A warmth creeps into your cheeks, and you’re not sure why.
‘You don’t have to, Jungkook. Just cook for yourself, I’ll make myself dinner after you.’ But then your stomach chooses now to bellow aloud like a bullfrog traitorously. You look at him, abashed.
A smile is playing at his lips, though he’s trying not to show it.
‘Go sit down, noona. It’ll be ready in a second.’ His eyes are fixed on the bubbling water, chopsticks hauling up the softening noodles to check their texture. Though you’ve never tasted his cooking, you don’t doubt ramen mastery, so you nod compliantly.
The bags of shopping are half unpacked on the dining table, so you decide to finish sorting them out. He’s bought gimbap, bread, cheese, some salad, mostly food that doesn’t require cooking; you can tell he has thought ahead for the potential blackout.
Then something else in the bag catches your eye.
‘Dinner’s ready.’ Jungkook carries two bowls of brown noodles, garnished with sausage and cucumber, just the way you like it.
He sets the bowls opposite each other on the end of the table that’s not packed with groceries. This feels extremely weird and domestic. Although you live together, you don’t remember the last time you’ve had a meal together on this table, just the two of you without Jimin. Yet now, you’re about to eat jajangmyeon that he cooked for you, right across each other. Extremely weird.
‘Thank you so much for cooking, Jungkook.’ You bow your head at him politely and take a seat opposite him.
‘You’re welcome, noona.’ He also mirrors your action. You can kind of understand why it must be so annoying to Jimin how you’re so formal to each other, it must sound so forced and awkward.
Which is what this meal is going to be. Forced and Awkward.
Jungkook waits for you to take the first bite before digging, which you have to do so without rolling your eyes back and moaning out loud in satisfaction. Jajangmyeon tastes so flipping good! Your one and only true love.
You’re too focused on slurping down the noodles that you don’t notice him smiling fondly at the rare sight of you so blatantly excited.
The meal goes by quietly, neither of you are talkers to begin with, much less while eating. Whether it’s because it’s your favourite dish, or because it’s a freezing cold winter day, or even maybe because it’s Jungkook’s own cooking, the food tastes especially scrumptious.
‘This is delicious.’ Your eyes are practically glowing at him; he shys away from the praise by sipping on his can of coke. Who drinks coke in this weather? A smile stretches your lips at the oddity of this boy’s taste.
Jungkook mumbles a thanks, avoiding your eye as usual. But the jajangmyeon has put you in a good mood, you’re feeling rather chatty actually. ‘Also, Jungkook, I saw you bought-’ You dig into one of the grocery bags and pull out what you spotted earlier.
‘Oh yeah.’ Jungkook stares at the two-pack of fluffy socks in your hand, wearing a slightly mortified expression. ‘Um… I thought... you could do with some new ones.’
Surprised, your whole body tenses. You had thought he bought them for himself after seeing you wear yours so comfortably. All thought flaps away from your mind like a flock of frightened birds, leaving an empty field. He- Why- What do you-
‘Oh.’ Clearing your throat, you murmur. ‘Wow, thank you so much.’ Unable to look at him for any longer, your eyes fall onto your noodles. Your hand holding the socks drop onto the table at the weight of his kindness. Then a realisation creeps up on you. ‘Wait… They don’t sell these socks in supermarkets…’
Glancing up, you find him fiddling with his fingers nervously. ‘Uh. I went to another shop that does.’
Knots upon knots begin to tie in your stomach. So that’s why he took so long out there, not only did he have to find another supermarket that was open, he also searched for a store that sells fuzzy socks. For you.
Why do you feel so warm everywhere?
When you fall into a silent trance of your own thinking, Jungkook gets worried. ‘Noona, do you not like them? Did I get the wrong ones?’
‘No, no, no!’ You frantically dispute, forcing yourself to look at him. ‘These are perfect! I’m just surprised… and touched. That’s all. Jungkook, you really didn’t have to.’ The fabric of the socks feel heavenly to touch, your thumb sinks into the clouds of its softness. Truly, this has taken you by surprise and you don’t know how to react.
‘It’s okay…’ Redness blooms across his cheeks like drops of watercolour.
First he cooks you your favourite meal, then he buys you fuzzy socks? Is this the same Jungkook you’ve been living with all these months?
‘No, here…’ You rip open the card of the packet and snap the plastic wire that holds the four socks together. ‘Take a pair, I only need one anyway.’
At you waving the socks in front of him, he leans back in refusal, shaking his head and muttering a string of no no no’s. You’re not at all a strong-willed person by any means, but you’re not backing down on this, not when he’s been so lovely to you all night. When he realises that you won’t take no for an answer, he sighs, scratching the back of his ears. ‘Okay, okay. You can have the mint ones.’
One pair is mint and the other is pink. You blink. He wants the pink ones?
When he realises what must be going through your head, he quickly says, ‘Mint is your favourite colour right?’
Mint is your favourite colour. Though how does he know? All your possessions are in a variety of pastels: baby blue, cotton candy pink, mint green and lilac purple. He couldn’t have possibly guessed…?
‘Yes, it is… But I seriously don’t mind if you want the mint ones, I’m not gonna make you take the pink ones.’
‘No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.’ Jungkook snatches the pink fluffy socks from you before you can argue and stuff them onto his lap.
Your heart does a little thing that you can’t describe.
The two of you finish your dinner in silence, mirroring each other with one hand gripping the socks ever so tightly and the other hand picking up the noodles with your chopsticks. Awkwardly, Jungkook take a glimpse at you. A tiny smear of sauce stains the corner of your mouth.
Does he tell you? It would make it awkward though, wouldn’t it? But then again, it would be worse for you to find out yourself when you look in the mirror and think that he didn’t tell you you have sauce on your face.
‘Sauce.’ He accidentally says before he could finish formulating what he’s going to say to you. Shit. What’s wrong with him? Why did he say it like that? In response to your confused expression, he gestures dumbly at the corner of his own mouth.
Instantly a blush flames across the apples of your cheeks. You are about to wipe it away with your sleeve when you realise a second too late that you’re wearing a white sweater.
Your hand dangles a centimetre from your face, wrist caught in Jungkook’s fingers as he notices the mistake in your action before you. His whole body is leaned over the table in order to reach you. Wide eyes locked on each other, neither of you dare to move at his sudden outburst of motion towards you.
‘Um.’ He peeps. ‘Careful, I’ll do it, noona.’
Before you can register, he lets go of your arm allowing it to fall onto your lap. When his index knuckle brushes against the end of your mouth, a wave of shock zaps down your spine. Your heart lurches down an abyss at how soft his skin feels on your sensitive lips. Then his touch is gone, leaving a warmth tingling in his wake.
As he looks around for something to wipe his finger on, pupils round like a puppy, your eyes refuse to leave him. Thank you sits at the tip of your tongue but your throat is too clogged to utter a sound. The clockworks are trying to turn in your brain but all you can focus on is Jungkook.
How is he this nice, kind, gentle boy? And how have you completely missed this about him? In fact, why have you been so demure with him when he’s… an angel?
Watching his tongue poke at the inside of his cheek, a much scarier thought dawns on you.
Do you have a crush on Jungkook?
.
White screen glaring at you, the words of your unfinished essay frowns at your lack of attention in disapproval. You can’t write about Jane Austen’s exploration of feminism when Jungkook has overtaken your capacity to concentrate on anything other than him.
The radiator by your desk acts as your foot rest, blazing the pleasant heat up your legs. Ever few seconds, your eyes would wander to those mint green fuzzy socks you’re wearing, so brand new that its fluff caresses your toes like a flower bed. Just the thought that he went out of his way to replace your old hole-ridden pair…
Stop.
Jane Austen. Focus.
But the phantom touch of his finger sweeping across the plump of your bottom lip is etched on your skin, the picture of his doe eyes staring at your mouth refusing to leave your memory.
What has happened to you? How have you just swung from two extremes: from hardly able to speak a word to him without stuttering, to daydreaming about his kindness towards you?
The cold is making you delirious. It has to be this godforsaken cold, because why else would you all of a sudden be so flustered from the thought of Jungkook?
You take a long hard sip of your coffee, and mark it as a new leaf. From now on, no more thinking about anyone else other than Jane Austen. Pushing up your sleeves, you straighten your slouching back and face the monster of you assignment head on.
Not 5 minutes later, your desk lamp begins to flicker. You throw it a quick glance as your fingers type on your keyboard. Weird, you just changed the bulb a few weeks ago. Nevermind it.
Then all of a sudden, all the lights in your room go out. Frowning, you get up and try the switch several times to no avail. Peaking outside your room, all that greets you is a cold darkness. So you turn on the flashlight on your phone and try other light switches of the house. Nothing. Even the heat begins to seep away from the heaters as they dim to a cool. Oh no, right now?
Using your phone as a torch, you pad towards Jungkook’s room and open his door before you can remember to knock. Perhaps your anxiety has overridden your common sense and courtesy. Unfamiliar with the orientation of his room, you trail your side against the wall to guide you.
‘Jungkook? I think the power’s ou-’
Your phone shines onto a tall silhouette, illuminating a view that makes you shriek and stumble back.
There he is, standing with a white towel around his waist, beads of water splattered across his naked body and dripping rapidly out his wet slicked back hair. The swell of his biceps catch your attention first, lined with prominent veins running all the way down to his large hands placed on his hips. Which leads your gaze to the illustrious v of his hips that arch down to-
Without meaning to, your eyes travel down to this bulge. His hefty unmissable bulge. The towel protrudes out like a tiny hill, and you want to scream at it.
If you had a drink in your mouth right now, you would surely spit it out all over him and choke to your death. But you don’t, so all that comes out of you is a strangled cat noise. Looking away from that sinful area as quickly as you can, you arrive at his face - shocked, alarmed and confused. Your cheeks burning in the flames of hell, you spin away hastily to sprint out of his room in horror.
Except you run into the wall.
The impact hits your forehead and thankfully not your nose. Phone flung onto the ground with the light facing up, you fall onto you knees clutching at the eruption of pain. But nothing hurts more than your pride and image.
‘Noona!’ One hand securing the towel covering his manhood and preserving his dignity, he scrambles over to help you despite himself.
You flinch away at his hand on your shoulder because he is now right beside you. And it’s as if you’ve zoomed in too far on a picture because his nakedness is suddenly magnified 100x. You want to Ctrl Z yourself out of his room and back into your own desk. Because what. the. hell.
What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
Transfixed on the ridges of this abdomen, you cannot focus on anything other than the way his muscles groove up and down so smoothly to form a six pack. Shadows casted by the flashlight sculpting more definition onto his marble chest. Goosebumps are raised on his blemishless skin, which you almost want to stroke away with your warmth.
‘I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay.’ You chant cataleptically in a daze. It’s more for your own reassurance than his. His bare upper body needs to let you breathe.
‘Are you sure?’ His concern is apparent in his expression, eyes examining your entire face for your injury.
‘Yes, yes.’ Desperately wanting to shoo him away, you wince at the pulsing ache burgeoning in your forehead.
‘I’m sorry.’ You both say in unison, though neither of you understand why the other is apologising.
Though he seems abashed about being shirtless, his humiliation comes nowhere near your level. Why isn’t he scrambling to put a shirt on?
To be fair Jungkook does seem awfully self conscious, you’ve caught him looking down at himself for about the fifteenth time now as he helps you up to your feet.
‘I’ll let you get dressed, sorry.’ Is all you say after snatching your phone off the ground, not even bothering to check for a cracked screen, before making your timely escape. This time more successful than the last.
Clutching your throbbing head, you race to your room and catapult onto your bed. The picture of a wet, shirtless Jungkook with only a towel to shield you from his crotch is now ingrained in your mind. You think shutting your eyes will help but you still see his divine abs behind your lids.
Holy shit.
What perhaps scares you more is how attracted you are to him. Since when did you find your roommate hot? This is shy, quiet Jungkook who plays overwatch until 4am. How dare he have a Greek God’s body to confuse you like this?
You need to stop thinking about his naked body right now.
Instead you check outside your window to see that the streetlights are off as well; it must be a blackout across the whole town, if not city. Without heating, the cold air begins to harshly sting your exposed skin. Panic starts to fester in your chest. How long can you last with no electricity whatsoever? You don’t even have phone signal, or something to charge your phone with except the one portable charger that may or may not be dead right now.
Though your door is wide open, Jungkook knocks on it politely outside your room. Which is what you should’ve done with him, you mentally scold yourself. Though he is now dressed in an oversized hoodie, your image of him is forever changed after seeing him fresh out the shower, hair still dripping. You blink hard in attempt to rid that thought.
‘Hi…’ He whispers. He’s holding two burning candles against his chest, their flames lighting up the underside of his sharp jaw.
‘Hi, come in.’
You can sense his hesitancy, the unease in the air between you, when he enters your room gingerly, feet clad in those pink fuzzy socks.
‘Sorry-’ You both say at the same time again, then release a breath of laughter. Mirth twinkles in his eyes, though his shyness does not stray from him.
‘I’m sorry for barging into your room like that.’ It’s an effort not to glance down at his adorable socks. ‘That was completely my fault, so don’t apologise.’
He swallows. ‘It’s okay, noona.’
His eyes hold yours for a solid moment before dispersing. A familiar blush is starting to paint your cheeks, you feel the heat from your chest blare up to your entire face. Unable to help imagining those solid muscles underneath his clothes, you tug at the hem of your sweater.
‘So,’ Jungkook places one of the candles on your desk. ‘This is for you.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Instead of using the flashlight of your phone, use the candle or one of the torches I’ve put on the table outside to save your battery. I’ve checked the main fuse, it isn’t switching back on. Good thing is that we still have running water and plumbing, just no heating or any electricity.’ He glances at your own socks. ‘We need to use the water sparingly though or the reservoir will run out. From the shops, I’ve bought some food that we can eat without cooking like gimbap or sandwiches. There’s also a stash of hand warmers in the drawer of the TV stand if you’re cold.’
That’s a lot of words to come out of Jungkook’s mouth in one go, all spoken to you. What he’s saying is sinking in and relief washes over you, yet you can’t help but focus your attention on the way his lips move as he speaks. The dark red gleaming with lip balm, curving over each syllable so prettily.
‘That’s great, thank you.’ You finally snap out of it. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’ That last sentence slips out of you before you could stop it.
Pupils widening a fraction, Jungkook’s lips part in reaction. Why did you tell him that? Maybe you should just lock yourself in your room after continuously embarrassing yourself tonight. But then he pulls into a smile that melts away the ice that’s numbing your limbs and burning your lungs. The front of his teeth slightly jutting out sweetly.
Again, a fondness tickles your chest.
‘Me too.’ The tingle spreads into a pulse that crushes your throat. Is that why they call it a crush?
You simply cannot suppress your own growing grin.
Jungkook begins to walk away, but then stops at your door and turns back. There’s a reluctance, an uncertainty to his slow movement as he faces you.
‘If… If you get too cold without the radiator… you can…’ His voice barely a husk. ‘You can come over to mine.’
Then he’s gone. The aura lit up by his candle gradually diminishes away from you as he walks down the hallway to his room.
Frozen in place, you’re not even sure if your heart is beating anymore. Those final words ring in your ear like wind chimes.
You can come over to mine.
Does he mean what you think he means? Is he offering to keep you warm during the night?
You watch the candle he’d placed on your desk, its flame mirroring the small fire kindling in your core for the boy who went out during a blizzard to buy you fuzzy socks so your feet don’t get cold.
On the other side of the wall, Jungkook is on the verge of combustion at his bold proposition to you, red burning the tips of his ears. Though the memory of the look of pure euphoria on your face when you took your first bite of jajangmyeon burns his heart hotter yet.
.
The cold is brutal and shows no mercy. Despite your tossing and turning and effort to warm yourself up, sleep does not grace you. Part of the blame goes to Jungkook, you have not been able to cease thinking about him and everything he has done tonight. It makes you reflect on all your past moments together, whether he has always been like this and you were only too closed off to pay heed.
Sitting up from your bed, you decide you won’t be able to fall asleep without extra warmth. You need hand warmers stuffed down your pyjamas.
So, muscles stiff from the cold, you clamber out the little warm burrow of your covers and head for the living room, forsaking any light since your vision has adapted to the dark. On your way there, you walk past Jungkook’s room. Without knowing why, your legs betray you and stop outside his door.
You can come over to mine.
The low rasp of his voice still echoes in your head, stirring your unwarranted feelings for him into a warm pot of honey.
Had he really meant it? Did he honestly invite you to his share his bed? Surely not - this is Jeon Jungkook you’re thinking of, he doesn’t even speak to you most days, can’t not cower away from your glare. And he also knows what you’re like, how it took you two whole months to even warm to all of Jimin’s friends, how you only recently stopped using honorifics with those older than you.
And surely he must be at least mildly aware of the lack of boys and romance in your life, living just down the hall from you. Jimin is the closest male friend you have, and even so, you aren’t completely comfortable with sleeping beside him.
But then… All that has transpired about Jungkook’s character tonight, how sweet and kind and thoughtful he is which completely falls outside your predictions of the boy…
You realise you want to know more, want to explore the depths and mysteries that is your strange roommate. This intangible force that has been building up in the mere hours you’ve spent together this cold winter’s night draws you to him.
So screw those hand warmers, they last way too short anyway. Who needs those fidgety packets when there’s a whole Jeon Jungkook next door?
Gathering all the courage you can muster, you knock on his door.
The wood sends tendrils of cold into your knuckles. There’s a pause at first which leaves you thinking that he’s asleep, and to be fair, this late at night he has every reason to be. You’re about to turn away and head forth down the hall when you hear sheets moving, followed by his muffled come in.
Timidly, you step into his room, mind still fresh with the memory of what had happened last time you entered here unannounced, mere hours ago. Let’s not think about that right now, shall we?
Jungkook is sat up in his bed, black hood engulfing half his head. A single scented candle lit on his bedside table beside him illuminates the whole room into a golden ochre hue, it smells of freshly washed sheets.
‘Hi…’ You peep out, stopping in front of his bed.
‘Everything ok, noona?’ His eyes are fixed on your face in wonder, but when you meet them, they dart to your socks.
‘Um, yes.’ How do you put this? How do you formulate those words? ‘I just… It’s absolutely freezing with the radiators not working. Maybe- D-’ You exhale shakily. He’s gaze slowly crawls back up to your face as he realises where you’re going with this. ‘You know how you suggested that we should… sleep tog- on the same bed… to keep each other warm…? Well...’
Jungkook blinks at you. For a heartbeat, all you want to do is curl up into a ball and roll out of here. You couldn’t even finish what you were saying because your jaw has simply refused to move, refused to let you carry on embarrass yourself.
Then, although he was already on one side of the bed, he scooches over to the left. He doesn’t look at you when he replies, ‘Of course.’
Your heart is pumping fast, almost making you choke on your constricting throat. Warily you clamber onto his bed, but stop when only your knee is on the mattress. The bed frame creaks. Jungkook is regarding you with an unreadable expression, nibbling on his bottom lip. ‘Wait, if this is weird, just tell me to go.’
‘N-No. It’s fine.’ Pulling the covers over his chest, he crosses his arms shyly. There’s a pink tint to his cheeks, though you could be mistaken due to the odd lighting. ‘I was struggling to fall asleep from the cold as well.’ He adds when you don’t seem convinced.
Both of you are making this a bigger deal than it actually is, you are fully aware. It honestly pains you how awkward you two are with each other; if this were Jimin, he’d be dragging you onto his bed by the waist, letting you flounder about in his arms like a cat trying to escape before smothering you with his affection. But this is Jungkook. Quiet, shy, awkward Jungkook. Jungkook who hasn’t spoken more than ten words a day to you before the events of tonight even though you live together. Jungkook who you’re slowly learning more and more about during this blizzard.
Plus, he was the one who offered to share his bed earlier in the first place. This is fine, just fine. Act normal.
Overly conscious of how he’s watching your every movement carefully, you slowly burrow into the comfort of his bed. Immediately you’re enveloped in his residual body heat under the duvet. Now you realise that he moved over to the other side of the bed, the cold side, so you can relish in the warmth that he’s been collecting under these covers.
Why is Jungkook so… considerate?
Again, the same fuzzy feeling as before tugs at your heartstrings. Suddenly you want to reach out to him, but instead, you tug at your sleeves.
You’re both staring at the blank ceiling as if it is some fascinating art piece, with enough space between you to fit a Jimin. The candle has casted long grey shadows across the room, occasionally flickering haphazardly.
Everything that is currently whizzing through your head is driving you insane. This is actually happening. You are sharing a bed with Jungkook, the guy who you can’t even look in the eye when speaking to, your roommate who has only ever tried to avoid you. This day is a jack-in-the-box of Jungkook-themed surprises. What’s going to be next?
‘Feeling warmer, noona?’ He breaks the silence first, and you can’t help but glance over at him. His side profile is mostly masked by his hood, yet you can still see his jaw clenching. You can only imagine how uneasy he is currently feeling.
‘Yes.’ It’s barely a whisper you manage, so you clear your throat. ‘Much better Jungkook, thank you.’
Another silence. Though this is an improvement from before, you still feel a chill in your bones; the cold is a resilient pest that aches your muscles and numbs your face.
‘Should I blow out the candle then?’ You ask.
‘Oh right, yeah.’
You huff at the small flame but it refuses to go out, and you kind of don’t want it to as it provides a strong beacon of heat as its smoke licks at your face. You huff again. Still, it only wavers. You’re so cold that you don’t even have the strength to take out a candle. Peaking over at Jungkook, his eyes are locked on you patiently.
‘I’ll do it.’ He leans across the bed over you, you feel his warmth radiate into your proximity as his should hovers over your face. His scent, a clean soft musk, swims up your nose; you never noticed how pleasant he smells. The veins on his neck are protruding as he strains to reach over. When he extinguishes the candle with a single harsh blow, embarrassment rains on you.
Darkness enshrouds you two. As he returns to his position, you notice that he’s closer to you than before, now only less than a foot away. The sound of his breathing provides a steady rhythm that soothes your wild thoughts.
Though your social skills are subpar by nature, Jungkook has a way of magnifying your awkwardness. Should you say something? Good night? Thank him again?
Then you realise, he’s shivering. Of course, his hair must still be wet from his unfinished shower that was cut short by the blackout. God, he must be freezing.
‘You’re cold.’ You state, though you mean it more as a question.
‘I’m fine.’ Hums his response, yet his inhale is shaky.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you know what you’re going to do next is completely out of character and will require more guts than you actually possess. Your hand gropes at the space between you until you find his hand. It’s ice cold. Jungkook jumps at the contact and you hear him turn his head towards you. You hope his sight hasn’t adjusted to the dark yet so he can’t see how abashed you are.
‘You’re not fine.’ His fingers are stiff when you interlock yours between his. Everything is screaming inside you. What are you doing? What the heck? If Jimin were here to see this his jaw would drop all the way down to hell.
Unable to suppress the urge either, you also turn to look at him. In the dark, you can barely make out the outline of his face, the shape of his glossy eyes reflecting the moonlight seeping in through the window. Slowly, his fingers curl up around your hand. Your heart flips.
Blood roaring in your ears, you inch towards him like a frightened deer until your sides are pressed against each other. Your faces must be a hand’s width apart, but the darkness fuels you with a brazenness that allows you to not cringe away. His whole body tenses in response.
‘Better?’ Voice so soft he strains to hear you.
Jungkook nods, eyes never leaving yours. ‘Better.’ His response rumbles into your ear and percolate into your mind, and only now are you aware of how close he is.
An amalgamation of unidentifiable emotions stir inside you. You feel your own warmth trickle towards him as his does with you, and slowly his presence plucks away the cold you are plagued with.
‘Good night, Jungkook.’
‘Good night, Y/N noona.’
Though it’s only briefest of movements, you feel his thumb stroke over yours once, twice, as your eyelids fall shut.
The next morning, you wake up first with your head fitted cosily on his heavily breathing chest, his arm draped across your shoulder, shielding you from the chilly morning air.
.
The power still isn’t back on.
It’s now nearing 24 hours since the blackout first hit.
You’ve wasted the day wandering about the house, unsure of what to do with yourself. Though you tell yourself it’s the withdrawal symptoms from the internet, it’s mostly due to the fact that you slept next to Jungkook last night.
The earlier half of the day was spent subtly avoiding him because what the hell are you supposed to say to him? Do you just carry on your usual selves around each other or are you, like, friends now? You caught yourself watching him sleep this morning, serene breaths in and out through his nose. There’s a tiny mole under his lips that you’ve never noticed before. You had poked it with your pinky before you could stop yourself. And thankfully he’s a heavy sleeper, he didn’t even stir.
With more effort than you thought would require, you pried yourself out of his arms, a cold breeze instantly welcoming you in an embrace as you left his bed.
Those scenes keep replaying in your head: him finding you out in the blizzard, watching him cook you jajangmyeon, discovering that he when out of his way to buy you new sock, then walking in on him almost stark naked from the shower, and finally, falling asleep enveloped in his warm and scent.
You’re definitely crushing on him.
You’ve stopped denying it when you saw him meander wearily out his room at noon, bed head ruffled, eyes still droopy from sleep. Wordlessly, you had passed him the ham and cheese sandwich you prepared for yourself and you don’t even know why because you were absolutely starving.
The downpour of snow only stopped for a good 10 minutes this afternoon, a tiny window in which you poked your head out for some fresh air. Jungkook had tried to shovel away some snow to clear the porch, but quickly ran back inside when he saw your worried face plastered to the window watching him.
There isn’t much either of you can do with no electricity, no internet, no television, trapped indoors. So you occupy your day curled up on the couch, nose buried in a novel, completely immersed in that beautifully crafted fictional world.
Until Jungkook walks out in a white t-shirt and shorts.
Your eyebrow raises, peeking at him from behind the pages.
‘I’m gonna work out here, if you don’t mind. There isn’t enough space in my room.’ He scratches the back of his head.
‘Sure.’ You exhale, knowing your demise is looming over your head like a storm cloud. A lot of self control is exercised in order to not ogle at his calves.
Training your eyes at the novel in front of you with great determination, you turn the page. The first minute is easy enough, you just have to angle your book to block your view of him. But then his breathing grows heavier, panting every rep. At that, you can’t help but glimpse past the corner of your page.
Oh Lord. He’s doing push ups.
Though his biceps are mostly covered by his sleeves, the muscles of his forearms tensing at every contraction catch you eye. You marvel at the way his tendons flex out, and the way his serpentine of veins snake down his hands.
Jeez.
Then he lets out an unholy grunt, setting your whole skin on aflame. Scarlet stains your cheeks, you’re sure of it. But the sinful sounds do not stop. Sweat his now seeping through his shirt, rendering the material transparent down his back. And his ass…
You snap your focus back to your novel.
Just in time as well because he stops onto his knees, head falling back as he sits on his ankles, panting. His neck is shimmering with his perspiration, droplets trickling down like a brook.
Jungkook glances over at you to see you reading intently, jaw clenched from what he guesses is due to the excitement of the plot.
But then you stand up so abruptly that it startles him. You can’t sit here and spy on his workout any longer, you physically cannot take it. Not to mention, it makes you feel so awful, like you’re perving on the poor clueless boy who only wants to break a sweat.
The both of you just stare at each other, flustered for different reasons. His breathing slows.
‘I’m gonna-’ You don’t know where you’re going with the sentence. Gulp. ‘Uh, see you later.’
Scampering away into your room, you don’t wait for his response. Why are you panting heavier than he is when he’s the one exercising? Your book is pressed tightly against your pounding chest as you lean your back on your door. Your legs give way and you slowly slide down onto the cool floor.
There’s one thing you know for sure.
Jeon Jungkook is not good for your heart.
.
It’s almost midnight and Jungkook is standing outside your door. Fist clenched, inches away from rapping on the wood, but completely frozen in action.
Just do it, idiot. He scolds himself.
After an ice cold post-workout shower, this time early enough so he doesn’t have to sleep with wet hair, you both had gimbap for dinner. It was an excruciatingly silent meal which he blames himself for, though he can’t help the way his tongue gets tied every time he wishes to speak to you.
And now, bed time, he is at a dilemma of whether or not to ask to sleep with you again. It may come across as too forward coming from a guy, he doesn’t want to scare you. But he also knows that he will be missing the warmth of your body beside him if he goes to bed alone.
Jungkook sighs and lets his hanging hand fall to his side.
If you wanted to, you would have gone to his room anyway. Might as well save the awkward rejection and just take this as a no.
However, your door suddenly swings open. He’s confronted with a pyjama-wearing, baby-faced you, flinching back a step at the surprising sight of him.
‘Op- I was just....’ His sentence falls flat. He was just what?
‘I was just coming to find you.’ You mutter, eyes softening if he isn’t mistaken. A flood of relief rushes at him, so you were planning on coming to him tonight.
Wordlessly, you pad after him to his room. Everything is dark but you see his figure clearly in front of you. It gives you a false sense of confidence which leads you to trip over his charger wire you so clumsily missed.
You don’t know how he reacts so quickly to your yelp of distress, but he turns around in time to catch your outstretched arms by the elbows. ‘Watch out.’ Feet fumbling over each other, he stumbles back onto his bed as you fall onto him. The weight of your bodies sink down onto the mattress.
Hard muscle cushions your fall. Chests pressed against each other, you don’t realise your hands have instinctively circled around his shoulders for balance. Your nose is touching his fabric of his collar, his musk instantly overriding your senses. When you look up, his eyes are a crystal clear pool somehow reflecting the constellations of the night sky in this darkness. His breath caresses your forehead. Your gaze drops to his mouth, pink and parted.
You want to kiss him, you realise. So badly. Every fibre of your being is currently yearning to meet his lips, longing to know whether he tastes better than he smells.
But then your limbs are moving for you, propping yourself up and off him. Your own mouth forms and quiet ‘sorry’ as you shuffle under the sheets. It’s as if you’re watching your own actions through your eyes, controlled by your logic rather than desire. You couldn’t let yourself kiss him.
Jungkook silently squirms into his bed beside you, unwilling to look your direction as much as you’re averse to his.
So this is how it’s going to be again. Two sleeping logs next to each other.
There’s an ache of regret in your heart for being so timid. Annoyance at yourself drips down your throat, fist clenching at the sheets. You should’ve kissed him right then and there, consequences be damned. When will you get another chance? But perhaps it was fate. You have no idea how he would’ve reacted; the pessimist in you thinks he would’ve been disgusted. Yes, it was fate. It was right not to have kissed him.
Wait, no. A boldness suddenly pours down on you. Shyness and introversion has gotten you nowhere before, and it will not help your situation now.
‘Jungkook.’ Your voice comes out crisp and clear.
‘Hm, Noona?’
‘I’m still cold.’ Turning to face him, you see innocent confusion settle in his expression. The sound of your thumping pulse has reached your ears, your heart is a speeding motor flying off to find him. ‘Come closer.’
The shadow of his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. His focus does not stray from you as he slides across the bed hesitantly.
‘Closer.’
He edges further towards you. You can now just about make out the shape of the scar that flecks his left cheek.
‘Closer.’
This time, his exhale tickles your neck. Warm bodies touching, confusion and perturbation cloud his glassy orbs as he scans your face for an answer to the plethora of questions swimming in his head.
‘Thank you.’ You breathe, though it feels like no air is entering you. You can’t believe what you’re doing. This close to him, you’re entire being bathes in his presence, his aura; a familiar tingling ails your soul as your eyes flicker to his lips.
Every single muscle in Jungkook is frozen in shock, unsure of what is going on and why the sudden change in your demeanour towards him. And when you turn onto your side away from him and inch by inch back your body onto his front, his heart
stops
beating.
Nose buried in your floral-scented hair, vacillating thoughts tell him to put his arm around your waist and hold you close to him. You sense his unsureness in the way his hand rests on your side and pauses for too long before pulling you into his chest.
His frame engulf yours, the curve of your back lining perfectly with his. You feel safe, protected. His furnace touch on your waist burns through the thick fabric of your jumper and seeps into your core. The effect he has on you is nothing you’ve ever experienced before, and neither have you ever been in this position with anyone. Although it isn’t much, merely just cuddling, this feels so remarkably intimate and intense, like you’ve finally stepped through a threshold built into the emotional wall that towers between you and him.
You’re not entirely sure if you’re breathing.
Despite being the one to instigate this, you’re awfully apprehensive, not daring to even twitch incase it rattles him and sets him scrambling away. The two of you are like a pair of squirrels, slowly approaching to sniff each other, curious yet easily frightened.
His hot breath rushes down your spine like smoke. You desperately want to know what he’s thinking. Is he as nervous as you? Do you feel comfortable to him as he does to you? Or is he already falling asleep?
You should close your eyes and try to. Though who are you kidding? You’d never manage to catch a wink when you’re an accidental turn of a face away from kissing him, at least not right away anyway, not until you calm yourself down with a mental meditation exercise or something.
The urge to check if he’s indeed asleep is yanking at you, but you use all your willpower to resist, not wanting to risk rousing him when he’s as skittish as you.
But then you feel it.
Him.
It’s subtle at first, just a gentle pressure at your bottom.
Innocent and untainted as you are, you don’t even realise what it is at first, so you shift your hips unconsciously.
Then it’s stiffness grows, and grows, until it’s a baton poking at your rear.
Something in your core ignites, your chest constricts, and a wildfire of lust you’ve never felt before smoulders from your scalp to your toes before finally rooting itself in your sex. Ten hells, Jungkook’s boner is touching your ass. Jungkook has a boner and it’s touching your ass. Jungkook has a boner because of you and it’s touching your ass.
Your brain is devoid of all senses except a formidable hunger for him. Suddenly, though he’s almost surrounding you completely, the only thing you can feel is his hard member prodding you.
Is he asleep or not, you need to know.
Then a strange force possesses your lower half, and like a puppet on a string, your ass sinks back further onto him until his length is tunnelled between your cheeks.
The softest moan escapes him, almost a gasp even.
You think he’s going to say something, move away or stand up and leave. Instead he pulls himself away and slowly thrusts forward again. His clothed length slides smoothly up your crack, brushing ever so slightly over your slit. It sends a wave of arousal convulsing up your core, so powerful you almost choke.
Continuing to encourage him, your hips move in tandem with his, rubbing your ass all over his pulsing erection, occasionally letting it slide between your thighs against your clit. A pleasured mewl escapes, though you’re not sure who from. You’ve never felt anything like this, the ruin that overtakes your core at the friction. This is a divine sensation, luxury of the gods.
Jungkook’s fingers dig into your waist as his pace increases, his breathing slowly shifting into wavering panting. Finally you succumb to the urge to twist around to look at him. Your heart erupts at the pure devastation contorting his face. His brows angled in pleasure, teeth clamped down on his lip to suppress those unholy noises, lids hanging heavy at the weight of his thirst for you. When his eyes lock on yours, something unleashes in him and devours you wholly.
Fire and ice. His lips feel like both fire and ice. Fire because your entire mind is burning at his smoothness, fuelled by your unkempt want for him to take over you. Ice because everything that isn’t him feels numb and insignificant, and your feelings for this man holding you is the purest flake of snow.
Your first kiss, and it’s already the best kiss you’ll ever have, you’re sure. Because the way his lips meld onto your, the desperation in the way he leans so far into you, the heat of his arousal forging it’s mark between your legs. Nothing in this world can top that.
‘Noona.’ He sighs into you. It drives you absolutely insane.
Fingers grappling in his wavy locks, you reposition yourself completely to face him. His length twitches against you as your leg swings behind him to pull him closer. He is holding your neck with a heartbreaking delicacy, thumb stroking your jaw like it’s the most fragile of chinas.
‘Jung-’ You whimper. ‘Koo…’
Tasting of mint, his tongue gently laps at yours when you open for him. You’re drowning in his essence, lungs filling with his air, though you welcome your sweet painless death like it’s a heavenly gift.
Knowing his docile nature, you move his hand underneath your top, giving him permission to roam freely on your skin. He snakes around your back and circles around your front before finally meeting your sore breasts. As he kneads them tenderly, you feel a warmth ooze out of you into a puddle of concupiscence in your pants.
Oh God.
Your own hands wander beneath his hoodie, raking up the bumps of his god-sculpted abdomen and taking hold of his muscular chest. His wet kisses are a drug, and you’re completely and utterly under its control.
‘Jungkook, I want you.’ You moan.
When his eyes fly open, you’re met with pools of desire, seething into you like jets of lust. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d experience him like this, covetous for you and withering under your touch.
‘Noona… Fuck.’ He trembles as your hand travels down his navel, daring to slide under the band of his sweatpants. ‘I want you so bad, noona.’
The whimper that leaves his mouth when you palm him through his boxers sends a flood of yearning down to your core.
Holy shit.
He feels…
Massive.
Heavy with girth, only about half of his length fits in your palm. You have to stretch your fingers in order to fully encompass him. He is fully at your disposal, groaning, grip tightening on you.
As he huffs into the edge of your jaw, his own hand comes down to find your pussy pulsing for his touch. When his touches your clothed slit, a compulsion forces your hips to buckle forwards. And when he begins to rub circles right on that tender spot, waves upon waves of ecstasy hit you.
Whining like an animal, your head falls back at the newfound pleasure he’s showing you. With you neck presented so openly to him like a platter of dessert, he plants dulcet kisses onto you, his gentleness kindling your fire for him. Despite your attempt to wind your focus back to him, your grip on his erection slackens at his vibrations on your cunt.
‘Can I?’ Jungkook whispers into your ear, softness tickling your lobe. You don’t waste a second before nodding eagerly.
Then his fingers slide underneath your panties. Sensitivity explodes at the contact between the pad of his thumb and your clit. A string of moans release from you. His fingers stroke tactfully up your slick, lubricated by your wetness for him. And when he slides his digit into you, the thread that holds your soul to sanity snaps.
‘Oh my god.’ He pushes through the sleek pressure of your walls. ‘Jungkook.’ The whimper of his name rolling off your tongue sends a rush of blood down to his aching cock.
‘Noona, is that okay?’ The genuity in his voice squeezes your heart.
‘Yes, it feels so, argh, good.’
He latches his lips onto your neck and sucks clouds of lavender to your smooth seamless sky. His finger is slowly pumping in and out. It is a foreign feeling, so strange and unfamiliar, yet all the more exciting. The rise of his knuckles hit your wall at eye-rolling angles. Your hips roll in his rhythm to help him reach newer depths. The pleasure is unforgiving, relentless.
Another feeling gnaws at your chest, a longing to please him.
‘I want to make you feel good, Jungkook.’ You mumble, shy.
He looks up at you, finger gradually ceasing its movement. The pure passion alit in his eyes drives you thrumming for him.
‘O-Okay.’
‘You… You have to teach me though.’ Redness flushes your cheeks.
‘Okay.’ He says again, and you wonder if you’ve broken him at the way he’s frozen.
Sheepishly tugging down his pants, you inch yourself down and settle between his legs, the duvet rested upon your shoulders. He bobs free from the restraint of his apparel.
Your eyes bulge at his cock that is, despite the darkness, standing tall and proud, beaming at you. How is that monster going to fit inside you?
A strong vein runs down the course of his length. Angry red tip swollen and trickling with a clear liquid. You look up to find him staring helplessly down at you, gulping. A nervous fear is eating away at your throat; you’ve never done this before, how are you supposed to know how right now?
‘Teach me.’ Your fingers come around the base of his shaft and he gasps audibly.
‘Uh-’ Another gulp. ‘Lick the tip.’
You lick the tip. Drawing your tongue over his engorged head, tasting his salty precum that continues to leak out of him profusely. He curses.
‘Like that?’ Your mouth doesn’t leave him as you say.
‘Mhmm.’ He runs his hand through his dark locks in exasperation. ‘Suck on it gently.’
You suck on it gently. Lips wrapped around his tip like a vacuum while you breath him in. Your cheeks hollow. You look up at him for approval. One eye is clamped shut, the other is barely held open to witness the most seraphic scene.
‘Fuck, noona, like this.’
You try to take in more, letting his wide cock slide into your mouth, careful not to scrape your teeth against his hilt. When he hits the back of your throat, you gag and splutter around him. Embarrassment shoots at you, yet when you glance up, he doesn’t seem to care.
Instead, he brushes your hair behind your ear and coos, ‘Careful, noona.’ He’s so sweet, so dear, you feel a crack in your heart.
So you try again, this time slower, swallowing as much of him as you can. Your hand swirl around his shaft while his massages the back of your scalp. You roll your tongue around his head every time you come up, flickering at his slit. Soon, your pace increases along with your confidence. Jungkook is a mess under you, thighs quivering, toes curling. Humming in satisfaction, your vibrations resonate into his dick and he yelps.
‘Noona, stop before I cum.’ The way he pleads sends your cunt throbbing. You pull his member out of your mouth almost obscenely, inhaling sharply for air.
He gently places you on your back, finger tracing your drenched lips in endearment. ‘Was that ok?’
‘That was perfect, noona. Are you sure that was your first time?’ Doe eyes wide in awe of you. You giggle and nod, glowing in timid pride. ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’
At that, the reality of this situation hits you. This is happening, this is actually happening. You’re going to have sex for the first time. With Jungkook.
Are you sure you want to do this?
You are sure you want to do this. If not with him, then no one else.
‘Yes.’ You state firmly, eyes never once wavering from his.
His gaze on you is so soft, yet so intense, you want to melt under him. ‘Okay. I- I need to go find a condom in Jimin’s room.’
Fuzzy with your feelings for him, you watch him scramble off in the dark to the other room. Loud clangs echo down the hall, you can’t help but smile at the thought of him digging through Jimin’s pig sty, frantically searching with his rock hard cock.
Jungkook returns moments later to the sight of you completely naked on his bed. Gaping like a little boy, he almost falls onto you as he climbs onto the bed while he tears off his own top. For a minute, you two just stare at each other’s bodies, allowing the beauty to sink in and etch itself forever in your souls.
‘Noona, you’re so beautiful. Do you know that?’ He leans over to kiss all over your face.
A warm prickle sieges your heart. No one has ever called you beautiful before. Emotion floods you like an ocean, and you’re suddenly met with a familiar sting behind your eyes.
He hovers over your lips, nose rubbing on yours so lovingly you want to cry. You’re at a loss for words, so you just nod, not daring to peep a sound lest a tear escapes from you.
His hands are shaking as he rolls on the condom. Prudently, he kisses up your inner thighs before spreading them open with care. Finally, he pecks the top of your flower fondly.
Then slowly he rests his elbow beside your head and situate himself between your legs. Both your breaths are wobbly, you search his face for security and find it. His irises reflect his galaxy - you. And your fear ebbs away.
Stroking his tip along your wetness, he kisses the shell of your ear. ‘Are you really really sure?’
‘Yes, Jungkook.’ Your fingers entangle in his hair assuringly.
‘Tell me to stop if it hurts a lot. Promise, noona?’ His concern is heart wrenching.
‘Promise.’ You whisper, other hand locking with his.
Only then does he begin to ease into you. At first you don’t feel much, just his tip diving into you. Then the rest of his length pushes in, plunging through a tremendous pressure built into your walls. Pain blooms inside you as he enters deeper and deeper, it’s an ache that you anticipated but never imagined. You both cry out, though for different reasons.
‘Are you okay?’ You can tell he’s struggling to stay still, shoulders tensing at the temptation to thrust again.
‘Mhmm.’ You manage to gripe. Because despite the blinding pain, you are okay.
‘I’m gonna go as slow as I can.’ He ensures you, fingers tightening around yours.
When he plunges into you again, you expect the hurt to lessen, but it doesn’t. It overwhelms your whole body, yanking inside you. Though, every time he kisses your lips so tenderly, your forget the soreness he’s impaling into you for a fresh second. Opening your eyes, you see him panting at your tightness, trying with every muscle in his body not to go wild at you.
‘Fuck, noona.’ He exhales, forehead rested on yours.
Seeing him so berserk with pleasure calms your running anxiety. His thrusts inevitably quickens, and you just about begin to see pass the pain. Behind the ache, there’s a gratifying sting clenching your walls. The slap of his hips against your thighs ring loud.
‘Still okay?’ Jungkook asks again, worry painting his face at your silence.
‘Yes, you can go faster.’ You answer despite the ever-present soreness. When he drives hard into you, stars and tears blurring your vision.
Something in him snaps as you feel him twitch inside you. His movements grow sloppy and feral, just like the grunts that he heaves. Chasing his climax, you can tell how close he is to his sweet release.
‘Oh- Noona, I’m so cl-ose.’ He’s whimpering into your neck.
‘Jungkook, baby. Come for me.’
At your name for him, he goes crazy, ramming into you with a strength and stamina that you couldn’t expect less of from him. ‘Noona…’ He begs. The pressure inside you is easing, pain dulling, though you know you won’t feel any pleasure this time round.
Then, in one last powerful push, he ejects into you with a loud cry. You pull his lips to yours immediately to soothe his euphoria. This look of pure pleasure on his face rips you to shred as he refuses to let go of your hand. His hips jerk into yours to ride out is high as his whole body deflates onto you.
Although it’s a freezing night, goosebump plaguing both your skins, neither of you feel cold. Instead, you are enshrouded by the warmth of your passion and desire, all you feel is each other.
You, wrapped tightly around him, and him, spasming inside you.
Heavy with exhaustion, he nuzzles up to kiss you. Long, slow and hard. You have never truly appreciated his beauty until this point, under the subtle snow-clouded moon, eyes boring into you with a never-dimming glow of adoration.
Jungkook removes himself from you, hastily disposing the condom to not miss a moment by your side. Dressing you first so you don’t catch a breeze of cold, his touch feels so much warmer, gentler.
Snuggled up under the covers, he holds you so close to him that you hear his beating heart. For a timeless passage, you stare into each other wordlessly, fingers tracing delicately over every patch of skin.
‘Y/N...’ He muses out loud. ‘Y/N… You don’t know how perfect you are…’
Again, he has rendered you speechless.
Caressing your cheek in his palm, he continues. ‘I wish you could see yourself through my eyes because then you would understand why I’m so completely in love with you.’
At his words, your throat constrict. ‘What?’ You choke out.
‘I’m in love with you, noona.’ His lips are trembling, chest pounding against you. Disquietude emanates from how he’s peering at you.
‘Oh.’
‘I don’t know how you never knew, I mean- I guess it’s pretty obvious from the way I act around you. Even Yoongi-hyung spotted it right away…’ He begins to ramble, focus hopping to the collar of your jumper that he’s toying with. ‘I just… I don’t know. There’s something so special about you that I can’t find in anyone else. I thought it was just a crush but... but then you moved in with us and… And my feelings for you just drove me insane. That’s why I kept trying to avoid you. I know I wouldn’t be able to hide it if I actually spent time with you, I’m kinda stupid when it comes to girls if you can’t tell already.
‘But the truth is,’ he takes a deep breath and sighs, ‘I am truly, deeply, madly in love with you, Y/N noona. Everything about you. The way you devour jajangmyeon as easily as breathing. The way you never go a day in winter without wearing these fuzzy socks. The way you only drink lattes and chamomile tea. The way you would rather spend your friday nights curled up with a book. The way you pretend to find Jimin annoying but secretly love the attention he gives you. The way you rushed out to find me in the snow and forgot the bring your keys. And the way you can’t talk to me without stuttering just like how I can’t look you in the eye when we have a conversation.
‘I know this is a lot to spring onto you, and I don’t expect you to love me back at all. But just know that I’m here for you whenever you need. I’m your furnace in a snowstorm, hand warmer in a blizzard. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same for me, I’ll still be here.’
Jungkook finishes with a final huff.
You stare at him, dumbfounded by his confession. Emotion floods your veins at the revelation, and you can all but break down into sobs. Jaw gaping, you regard him from his arms, trying to piece together your scattered thoughts.
‘Noona, say someth-’
You kiss him, urgently and desperately. Like you’ve been drowning in a sea of lostness, aimlessly floating about to try to find your way, and he’s your first gulp of air. Mist of perplexity is finally starting to clear away, and you see the path ahead of you with crystal lucidity.
It’s Jungkook. Jungkook, who knows your favourite colour when even your own mother doesn’t. Jungkook, who waddled out into the freezing snow to buy you new socks. Jungkook, who so gently and delicately made love to you tonight. Jungkook, who has loved you unconditionally and will continue doing so regardless of your feelings towards him.
‘I think… I think I’m falling truly, deeply, madly in love with you too, Jungkook.’
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End
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extras: christmas special
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@shookpreme @hazelelizabeth99 @teenage-hippie @bunbundesu @tangledsparkles @gingerpeachtae idk who wanted to be tagged lol 😬
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02/09/2019
© Copyright 2019
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Text
A Trip Through Memory Woods
human!reader x wolf-hybrid!Jaehyun ;; Kinktober Masterlist sub!female!reader
“Anon” Request
Summary: Your life-long friend and now boyfriend wants to celebrate your 3 year anniversary with a surprise. Remembering the old days, you decide to make new memories at the same time.
Word Count: 2371
Contains: long-term relationship!au, friends-to-lovers!au, outdoor sex, unprotected sex, mating, knotting, oral sex (female receiving), praise, lots of fluff
A/N: I am posting this one now because yesterday was the anniversary of me and the requester being mutuals for a year. Love you bby, enjoy ^^ also there’s one line that I hate because it’s lowkey meta but couldn’t bring myself to remove because it’s stupid funny to me
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As a child, you lived in an area where the only neighbors you had were the creatures that lived in the woods behind your house. Whenever you'd get bored, you would roam the woods and try to make friends with the animals you'd find. One evening, you stay later than usual, humming a tune as you sit on a tree stump and enjoy the scenery. You hear some rustling that draws your attention to a nearby bush, where you see a silver tail resting on the side.
Without thinking, you get off the stump and kneel on the ground, hoping the animal would come out of hiding. More rustling accompanies its movements as it peeks out from behind the bush. You're shocked when you see a human face emerge.
"Hello? I haven't seen you here before. Where are you from?" You ask as you stand up and slowly walk towards the stranger.
Immediately, they flee. You go back to that same spot every day for the next few weeks. When he shows up, he gradually moves closer each day, so long as you don't move from the tree. After a while, he sits next to the stump and bumps his head against you lightly to let you know that he feels safe enough to talk with you.
"Hi! I'm Y/N. Don't worry, I'm nice. Do you have a name?"
He stares up at you for a bit, and you can almost see the mental debate he has with himself.
"Jaehyun... I'm Jaehyun."
"Nice to meet you. Why do you have a tail, Jaehyun?"
He doesn't quite know how to respond, so you brush it off, and the two of you talk until your mom yells at you to go back inside. Over time, you become very close to Jaehyun, telling him about school and your parents. He takes an interest in school, asking you numerous questions and asking you to teach him how to read and write. You teach him four days a week, and, by your 14th birthday, he can read and write as well as anyone your age. 
As the years go by, you continue teaching him everything you learn, including giving him college applications. He asks where you're applying, only applying to those same schools. When you both receive acceptances, he keeps track of which ones you both get, and he follows you to the school you end up choosing.
Rather than living in the dorms, your mom pays for you to have an apartment nearby. Jaehyun moves in with you, and the two of you adjust to college and city life together for the first year. In the summer following that year, Jaehyun asks you to be his girlfriend. You accept, teasing that you thought he friend-zoned you since he waited so long to ask. Now, nearly three years later, you two are happier than ever.
"Y/N, do you think you can take Saturday off from work? There's something I'd like to do for our anniversary."
"Hm? Sure, I can try. Do I get to know, or is this one of your wacky surprises again?"
"I'm planning a trip, baby. It'll be fun." His innocent smile lights up the room as he says just enough to pique your interest without giving anything away.
When Saturday rolls around, your boyfriend wakes you up earlier than usual. He already loaded the car with a picnic basket and some blankets, so he tells you to dress comfortably and come to the kitchen for a quick breakfast before leaving. While you groan and complain about being awake, his boundless energy never falters. Once you're on the road, Jaehyun puts on a playlist of songs that came out the year you met. You compliment him on going all out, but the sleepiness takes over again, so you sleep for the second half of the trip and miss a good majority of the playlist.
He wakes you gently when you reach your destination, and you open your eyes to countless trees.
"Where are we? Did you take me to a forest to murder me? I knew this day would come. Damn, I wasn't prepared."
He flicks your forehead, "Quit joking, you idiot. Look." He points to the left, towards a cabin, "Recognize where we are yet?"
At first, you don't. When you look at the building for a bit longer, however, you realize he brought you back to where you lived when the two of you first met.
You turn to him, wide-eyed, "Oh god, you brought us home!"
His proud smile beams at you as he nods, "I contacted the people who bought it after your family moved out, and they said we could come over today and visit the area. They're out vacationing this week, but they left me the key if you wanna look inside."
You're already halfway out of the car when he finishes talking, but you don't really care to explore the house at all. Even though you lived there most of your life, the surrounding woods hold much more significance than the building itself. So, to Jaehyun's surprise, you walk past the house, trying to find the small clearing you used to sit in. Jaehyun follows you wordlessly until you stop at one particular tree stump, slowly lowering yourself onto it.
"It's here, isn't it? This is the spot we met. I remember it clearly. I'm so glad I eventually stopped hiding and went up to you." He sits down on the floor next to you, just like that first time when you were kids.
You tease him for taking forever to approach, just like he took forever to finally ask you out, but then a comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you both embrace the familiar sights, sounds, and smells of these woods. Neither of you would admit it, but you both missed this feeling while in the bustling, never-sleeping city.
When you stand up to break the silence, you question your boyfriend, "You said the owners won't be home today, right?"
"Uh huh. Why?"
"There's something I had a dream about a while ago that I wanna try out. Do you think you'd be down?"
"What do you have in mind, babe?"
"Well, if nobody is around... We could have some fun here. Make more memories for this spot."
"Oh~ I see what you mean." He stands up and puts his hands on the stump on either side of you, leaning his face close to yours and forcing you back to a seated position out of shock, "How do you wanna do this?"
Seeing his tail swaying behind him, you realize that you've forced him to adapt fully to human life, so you want to experience at least one thing from the other side of him, "How do wolves have sex? They mate, right? Wouldn't it be super special if we mate here? Mating right where we first met attaches another special first to this spot."
He moves one hand up to cover the embarrassment written clearly on his face, "Y-You know wolves mate for life, right? Asking to mate with me is a stronger pact than marriage."
You reach up and ruffle his hair, "As if I'd want anyone else. You're so oblivious sometimes, Jaehyun. I waited years for you to ask me out. I'll gladly be linked with you for life."
His hand and jaw drop at the same time as he looks at with the widest eyes you've seen on him. You can't help but laugh at him for not even suspecting you felt this way despite you being so obvious about it. You leave a quick peck on his nose to bring him back to reality, which results in him pulling you to his chest, hugging tightly. You can feel his body sway as his tail swings wildly from joy.
As he pulls away, he verifies with a bright smile, closely watching your eyes, "Should we mate here, then?"
You simply nod, smiling just as brightly back at him. Without wasting more time, he pushes his lips against yours. The kiss is rough, but not forceful. He reaches one hand behind your neck, supporting your head as his tongue parts your lips and dances with your tongue. Clearly, your boyfriend planned this moment in his head, as he works through the process just as a writer would describe the perfect make-out session. As his free hand lightly pushes you down until you're laying on the stump, he positions his body in between your legs.
With one hand now holding himself up, he pulls away from you to bring his free hand to your stomach. He hooks his thumb under the edge of your shirt, slowly lifting it to reveal your simple, black bra. He lifts the shirt over your head, and you quickly unhook the bra to help him out. He piles the clothes on the ground, throwing his shirt there as well. The cool air hits your hot skin, but he keeps removing clothes despite the cold.
He removes his pants first, then reaches for yours. He looks at your face to verify your consent and begins removing them only after you give him a nod. Soon enough, you're both naked in the middle of the woods as the sun begins to set. Jaehyun drops to his knees, deciding to give you some attention before the sex.
He starts with one big lick, then adds soft licks to your clit. He adds two fingers into your hole, slowly moving them in and out as he alternates between licking and sucking your clit. Your soft moans encourage him to continue, so he keeps it up as your moans get louder. When he hits the right spot inside you, a hand flies to his hair, and you let him know to aim for that same spot.
You feel the tension in your muscles as you get closer to your high. He never once lets up, even when you scream that you're about to cum. You buck your hips against him as you cum, riding out your high as all the tension releases. He pulls his fingers out, sucking the juices off them as he stands up again. He leans over you, smiling at the look on your face.
"That feel good, baby?" He asks as he brushes a stray hair out of your face.
"It felt amazing, Jaehyun." You watch his eyes as they follow his hand's caring movements around your hairline and jawline.
"God, you're so gorgeous."
He continues tracing parts of your body as he waits for you to recover from the orgasm. When he notices your breathing returns to normal, he stands up straight once again, asking if you're ready. You mumble out an agreement, so he lines himself up with your entry. He pushes in slowly, both of you holding your breath until he's fully in. You both exhale and stay there quietly for a bit, adjusting to each other's bodies. When Jaehyun begins moving, he starts slow. You feel everything he does; every little movement feels amplified due to the speed. You beg him to go faster, hoping to feel him hit the right spots. He listens to your request without hesitation, his breathing getting heavier as he does every movement in an attempt to please you.
When he starts losing control, he pulls out, cursing under his breath. You look at him, confused and slightly upset by the emptiness, but he motions for you to turn around. You stand up and turn, bending over the stump and using both hands to keep yourself steady. He holds onto your hips tightly as he pushes back inside you. With the curve of his dick, he immediately brushes against your soft spot, making your legs quiver.
"You alright, babygirl?" He freezes, worried he hurt you.
"Yes, babe. Please, keep going. It feels amazing."
He starts moving again, faster than before. The grip on your hips tightens, sure to leave bruises. After a few minutes, you scream about being close to orgasming again. He replies in between grunts, stating that he's close, too.
"Cum with me, babe." His voice sounds huskier than usual, and it pushes you over the edge.
He lets himself release as he feels your walls clench around him. The warm liquid fills you as he knots, keeping it all inside. His nails dig into your skin as it happens, but you barely notice during the seconds of bliss you experience.
He slumps slightly, resting his forehead on your back as he catches his breath and calms himself down. After pulling out, he takes a seat on the tree stump and pulls you into his lap, hugging you close. You cuddle into his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Your beat syncs with his as you begin drifting asleep in his embrace.
"Don't fall asleep yet, baby. Let's get cleaned up inside and get dressed. You can sleep when I drive us back." He pats your head to keep your attention.
You grumble, not wanting to get up, and mumble out an excuse to sleep now, "But then I'll miss the playlist you made again. I wanna hear it."
He stands up, carrying you in his arms, "It's a playlist, Y/N. You can listen to it whenever you want. Now, let's go, lazy butt."
You wiggle around until he puts you down, accepting your defeat. You grab the pile of clothes and follow Jaehyun into the cabin.
From the looks of it, the new owners haven't changed much at all, so walking inside feels very nostalgic. You sigh, relieved, as some part of you expected it to be entirely remodeled. Jaehyun sees your relief and smiles to himself, proud that he planned this trip. At this point, you take the lead since you know the house layout. You quickly rinse off with Jaehyun before getting dressed and heading back to the car. The water woke you up fully, so you stay awake as you both eat the food he packed and head home, singing to old favorites at the top of your lungs as the beautiful sights fly past the window in the night.
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cheri-translates · 4 years
Audio
🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for content which has not been released in English servers! 🍒
The interview is actually a video, but the file is too large to be uploaded. So I’ll just leave you with the audio and the sprites used!
More interviews: Kiro l Lucien l Shaw l Victor
3rd Anniversary Masterlist: here
Interviewer: Hello, Mr Gavin. Our interview will begin now. How did the two of you meet?
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Gavin: She came to the head office because of work, and we investigated a case together. But our story actually started much earlier.
Interviewer: What kind of a person is she?
Gavin: Mm...
Gavin: Kind, gentle, very responsible, and very courageous. The sort of... courage which can give me a fright. Without realising it, her hard work and actions motivate the people around her, making this world even better. That’s something incredible. 
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Gavin: Oh yes, she has great taste. Recently, my house has become much warmer, and it’s all thanks to her. She also remembers some of the habits I don’t even notice. Now that I think about it, being with her is what’s considered “living.”
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Gavin: Before, it could only be considered “existing”. 
Gavin: I’m not exaggerating. 
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Gavin: I’ve changed a lot because of her. Before, no matter how difficult of a time I was in, I’d feel as though I could press on for a little longer as long as I thought of her. Because she’s still waiting for me to come home.
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Gavin: But now, that’s not all. When I have no choice but to choose danger, I’ll tell myself to be even more cautious, more careful, and resolve it even more perfectly. Because I know that if I were to get injured, she’d be angry, and will cry. So I need to take greater care of myself, and return to her side in perfect condition.
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Gavin: Mm... she looks especially pretty when she smiles.
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Gavin: Cough... Actually, I don’t really know what to say for this question. 
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Gavin: She isn’t someone who can be described clearly with a few simple sentences. But she’s very good.
Interviewer: In that case, does she have any flaws?
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Gavin: [fiercely] What kind of a question is that?
Interviewer: It’s necessary for the interview... I didn’t say that she wasn’t good... We’re really grateful for your understanding and support.
Gavin: If I had to say something, it’d be how she doesn’t pay attention to her own health and safety sometimes. That isn’t good. Even though I can understand how she feels, I still hope that she can treasure her body even more. For example, by not working overtime often, waking up and sleeping early, and eating meals on time. But she often tells me to take care of my safety too...
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Gavin: [sighs] We’ll both take note.
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Gavin: Take note of our safety, and treat ourselves well.
Interviewer: Thank you for the cooperation! During your interactions, which moment left your heart stirring the most? 
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Gavin: Every one of them.
Interviewer: Every one of them?
Gavin: Every one of them.
Interviewer: Finally, are there any words you’d like to say to her?
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Gavin: I’ll tell her what I want to say in person. Especially on a more important occasion.
Interviewer: Just say something. She isn’t watching secretly nearby.
Gavin: Being able to participate in this event makes me very happy.
Interviewer: Is that all? Don’t worry, we’re very professional when it comes to interviews.
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Gavin: If I were to ask myself honestly, there are actually some moments where I'm a little worried when interacting with you. Worried that I’m not good enough. Unable to give you a sufficient sense of security. Unable to fulfil all of your wishes. And worried that I wouldn’t have the means to take everything into consideration. Whether it’s the time we spend together, or when it comes to your moods and emotions. I want to immediately sense the happiness you have yet to say out loud, or the unhappiness you’re suppressing. 
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Gavin: You know it - I’m really stupid when it comes to these things. Because when one sees someone who’s sufficiently good, there’s an even greater fear of losing them.
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Gavin: This isn't really like me.
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Gavin: But that’s okay.
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Gavin: I’ll make myself good enough. That’s the way it was last time. And it will be the same next time.
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Gavin: I will go over and beyond to give you the best future. 
Gavin: So that you can believe, from the bottom of your heart, that the best future--
Gavin: Exists because of me.
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sh1tbird-shantytown · 3 years
Note
Steve actually hates the cold cause snow and such reminds him of all the fun holidays he hasn't really had in a while, a cold house just reminds him of all the times he was left alone there, and just being cold really just served as a reminder of the fact that, not only is he still alone, but that he also went to that cold hellscape and it was real
…. :)
they’d been together for a whole six months. they’d had a sort of anniversary just that autumn. only a few weeks before.
he was sitting all balled up on their apartment building’s front step. it hadn’t been a particular big thing. steve had been out late christmas shopping. he always had got it all planned out and done early. used to sending gifts to his parents weeks prior due to shipping. but billy hadn’t known that. steve hadn’t told billy anything about his parents. changed the topic every time it came up. which wasn’t often anyway.
but billy had gotten upset. another dinner gone cold a second time that week because he’d been waiting up. and all steve had had to show of his tardiness was a three foot tall darth vader figurine meant for dustin henderson. something billy had only reacted badly too.
steve had dropped everything when he saw billy’s face. made steve’s proud smile drop along with it in an instant. the expression everyone he’d ever known had wore it eventually. he knew it well. billy had even gone as far as to ask the dreadful question.
“are you stupid?” he’d thrown his hands up and let them crash back down to his sides. went into a flurry especially when steve couldn’t find the feeling in his limbs to move. “i didn’t sleep last night, barely a wink, so i could find that stupid recipe of your grandma’s you keep hidden away so preciously. i spent all day making that stupid sauce you like so much!” he’d upturned one of the plates up and let it smack back down on the table. steve twitched with the clash. “i made the stupid dough, i bought stupid candles, and i got that stupid table cloth that reminds you of your great aunt!” steve hadn’t even been capable of looking him in the eye. “and now it’s cold and the candles are burnt out and i have work in the morning!” he’d felt like his father had been yelling down at him again. and to think steve was taller than billy.
he’d thought of himself as an ant. as an imposter. while he let billy release the steam he’d been keeping inside for hours.
he hadn’t expected it somehow. but after billy had yelled and yelled, he hadn’t looked as though he’d released anything. he seemed just as pent up with anger as before. so he’d left out the door and drove off. left steve on the stoop, locked out of the apartment.
steve didn’t cry. but it was like only the bad memories he’d ever made were the only things left in his brain. and it hurt enough for some tears to leak through. but he didn’t cry.
he was just cold. and stupid.
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Text
Theo, across recent timescapes. Theo x life: a series of impressions.
Theo is an invasive agent in Hayden's sensory collection. She's trying to not pay him any mind.
She also tried to erase his self-importance by pretending he didn't exist when she knew he watched with his bridge-burn eyes as she and Liam kissed. Found success in his uncharacteristic silence in a moment that was ruinable.
They are standing in dappled shadows on the forest ground, waiting for Liam, who ran ahead to make a call out of Theo's earshot. Theo is sitting by a tree with his knees up and loosely spread, with his hands in between them. His hands, chained: it's simplest hazard control. Effective, though. Hayden feels spiteful as she's walking left to right, throwing a palm-sized rock from hand to hand. Theo looks bored, irked.
''Where are you going to, little Red Riding Hood?'' Theo addresses her, smooth to self-entertain, making her stop mid-throw, causing the rock to hit her palm and fall on the ground. She picks it up and mimes throwing it at him. Success unfound, in how he doesn't flinch. Success unfound, in how he's making this into a story about a little girl and a sneaky wolf.
She considers him. If answering at all would cater to his amusement, or lesser his situational unpleasantries, which she's trying to avoid. But Theo is in the midway of doing nothing and determined to draw attention to himself, the way he has been.
''We're out of flowers, I'm afraid. Would you like some redwood wood, instead?'' Theo offers in a made-pleasant public service voice. Hayden notices that he's siding with the forest, here, scuttling into its floors where he has found purchase through extended stay.
''You know all the tree species?'' Hayden asks. Takes a bite and wills it into a treat for herself, rather than bait. Theo probably meant the tall and non-wiggly tree he's sitting against; Hayden wonders if he ever studied forestry, or if this is werewolfery knowledge.
''I know better things, too. If you come closer, I'll whisper them to you.'' He grins. Lifts his chained wrists as he adds, ''No pressure, though.''
Hayden considers him. Again and again. This is, she guesses, learnt prudency; a refined taste for justice, maybe. Guesses resurrection does that to you.
''Warning, beware of dog,'' she says.
Theo looks at her, eyes hooding and mouth neutralising. He shrugs, looks sideways. Attention, lost. Trade, declined. Secretful threat traded for blankness, if anything. Hayden, it seems, does not entertain in Theo-ways.
Theo Raeken, it turns out, has a finitude to his spread of catastrophe. Sheriff Stilinski watches cross-armed as running-mouth-boy exposes the culprits of murder; aggravates them like it's his best expertise until they say things they tried not to say and so saves his own slate from police-worthy additions.
Stilinski watches as Theo, for some inexplicable reason, lingers in the police department. Theo is sitting on one of the reception benches, eating a bag of mixed nuts from the vending machine. One would think it's ill-advised, that as soon as Parrish released him, Theo asked Parrish to buy him some goods from the vending machine, said he was detained unfairly. Deprived of food for this short but uneasy time. Didn't have his belongings on him. But it mustn't be nonsensical; it must be some behavioural tactic of making himself appear unconcerned. As having clear consciousness, innocence, all of those.
Stilinski resumes watching through the screen as Theo's chewing slows down when an officer with a police dog walks to the machine. He watches Theo's frowned, suffering, doubtful expression, staring into the dog's eyes like he can't take the dog seriously. The officer stops fishing change out of his wallet with a metal scoop in his cupped hand to shoot Theo a questioning look.
''Everything alright, son?'' the officer jingles the change in his hand, looking Theo over.
Theo's gaze doesn't even change when he looks up. Doesn't turn into a stranglehold of a gaze, either. ''Does your dog bite?''
The officer considers Theo, the sagged, unruffled spectre of him.
''No need to worry,'' he assures. Starts inserting the coins. He then turns to Theo in an afterthought. ''Is someone picking you up? You need anything?''
''Oh,'' Theo breathes, ''for real? Would you? Just something to eat? I've been stuck here waiting.''
Stilinski watches as Theo picks up a protein bar from the machine drawer. Flavoured water, a second later. Probably, apathy comes easily to him. He must not think in any understandable way; rather, he must think unfeelingly. Kid's got— not a care in the world.
Liam is holding a bouquet and inspecting its flowery contents. Frowning at the petals he's scraping at, glowering at the buds he's poking.
In the aftermath of the ceremony ran on the anniversary of Liam's school in the decorated sports hall, his mother is standing by the chairs in unison with another boy watching her son.
She knows him from a photo Liam showed her, a boy new in the school, softly named: Theo. It was evident that Liam took the photo discreetly, which she commented on and which Liam denied. She notes the distance at which Theo keeping and approaches him.
''Don't worry, he's not keeping secrets from his friends,'' she says. ''He doesn't have a girlfriend, at least not that I know of. I was the one who gave him the flowers.''
''Oh?'' Theo says. ''I see.''
He puts his hands in his pockets. He's probably shy. This happens sometimes, with high-school boys, they can become clumsy with themselves. She feels motherly talking to them in moments like this; motherly and pleasant in her efforts to engage adolescents when they are dithering.
''I think he's reconciling masculinity with flowers,'' she comments.
He smiles. Smirks, more like it. They must be close.
''Good colour choice,'' he comments on the orange of the flowers.
She nudges his arm. ''Go talk to him when they're done taking photos.''
Theo shakes his head, shrugs once. ''Nah. I will be leaving soon, anyway,'' he says, and she drops her hand from his arm. He's probably a little shy.
Mediterranean sunrise comes with a surprise: a man awakening on the ground a few steps from the barely-formed footpath. A man, or maybe younger, his Mediterranean awakening accompanied by the smell of fig trees, and all. Kind red soil.
He's naked. He's slowly wiping a hand across his lips. You know, suddenly, that this is a complication. The circumstance makes his body looks like an involuntarily stripped body. Perspective changes: red soil is now needled soil. Acrid tones sour the sunrise.
''Hey,'' you call, stepping closer in your sandals and a coral-printed towel around your neck, feeling unsuitable for the demands of the situation. ''Hey. Are you okay? Should I call the police?''
He's pushing himself up. Not looking at you. Not mindful of the resin at his back. This is indicative, you think, of something, because you're mindful of the way road dust is making your hair dry and webby, while his attention is this narrow, or overall absent.
He looks up, then, at you. ''What?''
A surprise gifted by a foreign agency; not Italian, then. You switch to English and try to make it not clumsy.
''I'll call the police for you,'' you assure him. Scramble to find your phone in your tote bag.
''D'n't call th'police,'' he says. He isn't trying to cover where his body is exposed.
''I don't want to assume anything,'' you say, feeling odd and performative. ''But— Look. I can just call the emergency number and they can direct you to a centre for sexual assault.''
Body, bodily manuscripted into the soft soil. He looks like he's processing slowly. Gets distracted inspecting his hands. Is that blood, you wonder, realise, really, it all just getting worse and fraughter. In between his fingers.
''Don't call th'police,'' he says. ''Was jus' drunk.''
''Is that blood? On your fingers.''
''I jus'. D'n't call. Did s'me things I shouldn't have.'' He reads your face, then says, ''Not like that. T'myself.''
Heat is lowering to the grounds of the morning and your sandals are light on your feet, escape-hairs pleasant, pine trees your favourite. And the hostility-seen boy is trying to act alright.
''It's okay,'' you say, wondering if it is; something complicated about the okayness of not-okay. You squat down, to balance the eye heights. ''I can call the hotline for—''
''No, n't—. Just stupid, no police. Please.''
''Do you want some water,'' you say, taking it out of your bag, and he takes it. Uncaps and smells it, blinking with his nose above the bottle opening, before he shakes his head a little, and starts drinking. Your phone is still in your hand, but you're unsure. You give him your second non-swimly shorts and wait until he overcomes his hesitance and gingerly takes them.
''You don't have to tell me,'' you insist. ''But I'm sure that there's someone who—''
''Thanks. It's okay, you can go now.'' He starts moving to get the shorts on, then swiftly straightens his back, inhaling deeply and looking up. Must be avoiding some hidden ache.
You hesitate, phone in your hand, legs starting to feel stiff from the position.
''I could drive you someplace. My car is ten min—''
''Thanks, but I'm okay now. You can't help,'' he interrupts. There are cases like this one, right, people using caustic means for secret-maintaining ends.
''Are you sure?'' you press. ''I could go away while you're talking to—''
''You're not helping,'' he says, monotone now, now operative and controlled to be alkaline. He's looking at your eyes fixedly, and you stop hesitating. ''You should go.''
Ground gives. You shake your head and start walking away, leaving him with your shorts and thinking then good fucking luck, honey.
You turn back one more time. He's looking at you leaving with unfocused glossy eyes, and you wonder, surely not for the last time, how deeply and stickily swamp-lodged he must be.
A hot guy is walking in the chest-high sea and doing little dives. Grazing the water surface with his fingertips in between and wiping salt from his eyes, before diving again and re-salting his eyes, like some deliberately mindless-seeming cyclical mechanism. Salt for maintenance, salt a nuisance.
Now he bends his knees and only submerges up to his chin, and you imagine he's sensing freshness at his nape.
''You just have to relax,'' you say loudly from where you come to stand in the water to your ankles, ''and you can probably hold your breath for longer than that.''
He stands up and turns until he spots you. You walk closer until the water is at your waist and he's looking at you like someone unexpectedly interrupted. Unexpectedly perceived, unfortunately. A popular kid being addressed by an unpopular one.
''You wanna teach me how to swim?'' he asks and smirks a little, and you shrug.
''If you feel like you can't stay underwater for more than five seconds, it's probably because you're panicking. You can hold your breath comfortably for at least fifteen seconds, I dare say.''
He looks at the glistening in the water, looking weary.
''Can I,'' he says, more of a response made to be unrevealing than a question.
''One thing I'll say,'' you say, untying your hair to avoid breaking it when it will be wet and to be casual, maybe; mitigate the upfrontness and possible insinuation, ''is that your body looks mad functional. Don't take this in any funky way.''
''I won't,'' he says.
Theo is in no space. Some telephone line space.
Should I be taking this personally, Liam texts him. He knows that Theo has been straightforwardly ignoring his messages. He hopes, actually; hopes Theo hasn't run into any of his long-known non-friends who see his face as a face, fanged, and not eyes, often confused, tongue, often tied, responses, often belated. Hopes that Theo isn't not answering because of some surviving anachronism from his past, but rather because of something new. That would be more manageable.
He also hopes that Theo isn't not answering because he is succumbing to his self-damaging instincts, even though that would mean simmering resentment towards Liam; even though that would likely be the best possible option in the precarious array of options in Theo's life.
Liam texts, did you know that if space was infinitely big and infinitely old, it would be white? I don't really get why, do you?
You have a boy couched in your living room. His name is Theo. Picked him up on a staff-only fire escape. It would be a leisurely sight, now, a tracksuit-hoodie-boy sitting right next to a drying rack, which he said he didn't mind. If it wasn't for your rapid heart. Heart: heated, speaking in unit-free measures. Heat: a smooth, unfibrous thing.
''May I,'' he murmurs, and you lean in.
It's a classic student situation: a breathless undertaking to the backtune of wine in tea mugs. He selected a Sierra Nevada mug with a setting sun. Came with the flat.
''Add me on Facebook,'' you say. The two of you haven't even done much, but you feel so hooked, by the fire-escape boy who moves in a way so self-assured and touches indoor objects warily. ''Or Instagram. Wherever you want.''
''I don't use social media,'' he says. He uses his hold on your hand and your finger to push his hair out of his eye. You like the way it parts and hits his temples.
''Phone number?'' You suggest, more joking than not. Exchanging phone numbers feel more joke-like than not.
''No phone number,'' he says. Must see your expression, shrugs and says, ''Guess I'm too old for technology.'' He smirks at the dry look you shoot at him, knowing your age of twenty-three to his twenty-two. He's saying too old and you don't buy it. He carries no weariness in his jaguar body. He takes his lower lip in his mouth. ''What if,'' he then says, ''I'm a vampire.'' He touches the tip of his tongue to his upper teeth.
''My favourite paranormal activity,'' you say.
''Too bad,'' he says, grinning. You look at his ajar lips and think: too bad.
''Your canines are sharp, though,'' you say. ''At least.''
He grins wide. Pointedly and slowly leans towards your neck with an open mouth, until teeth make contact. You feel your smile dropping when his phone beeps. He hesitates for a beat and then leans his forehead on your chin, just breathing there, and you know you are both thinking about him saying no phone number.
''But none for me,'' you say. Because of all the places your bodies have been touching, a beat of silence means: five heartbeats of him staring at his phone, engulfed in the jacket he discarded on the floor by the couch, and you staring at him. And then he leans over, easily shifting your weight, until he can kick the jacket, some, not really achieving anything.
''Another vampire,'' he says, then, on the side of unapologetic. Luckily, you are known to be unresentful. Good at not taking things personally. ''From another brood.'' He places his hands back on your hips.
''Hm,'' you say.  It's fine. The monomania of the green-eye boy is temporary. He's hot, but your desire never lasts, anyway.
There's a guy on your bus ride, on the opposite side of the passage, one seat forward. Your age. You noticed the generic niceness of his face.
He's drawing a sinusoidal curve on the fogged window. Moves his hand further right, where the window is still fogged. Starts drawing vertical lines, carefully, some methodology to it, the lines parallel to each other. He pauses after he draws four. Huffs, twists his smile into one that is hiding and downturned. He crosses the four lines with one that is horizontal, then adds another vertical line to the side.
You feel yourself smile. He drops his hand, shakes his head a little. Looks through the window at the frost-covered barren brown fields, away from his prisoner day-count. It's funny. He's funny. You look away.
It's a short, crude thing. Like this:
A fictitious boy stumbles out of a bare-walled building. Languid, unrestful body. Unleisurely, water-logged body. A tired backstreet play-doh thing. Young.
''Hey,'' you call. ''You. You good?''
The night is warm, humid. A post-rain road construction night. A night for cicadas, if you drive further out.
He inhales in the way of catching breath. Squints at his watch, eyes go glassy. Looks at the moon overhead, then squints at you. And you— you feel awake now.
You look him over, the sugarburn boy with a backwards baseball cap. The trouble of a tooth cavity, which means: okay, if you have some money. Some reckless uncare, too. He's watching you. You inhale slowly, but it turns out all tell-tale anyway. He must see the appeal you feel, in how he licks his lips and tilts his head.
''Interested?'' he asks.
You hesitate. Feel for your jacket pocket with your wallet in it. Lift it without taking it out, clear enough.
He nods. Clears his throat.
''Can you play nice?'' he asks. Teasing, but also not.
You can.
He nods. Looks at his watch. You follow him.
You pick up your pretend-sugar fake-care service by a closed ice-cream stand, its inviting light sign shining red on his face. It's raining lightly when you pull up and he doesn't have his hood up like he knows the wet hair strands sticking to his forehead make him look good. In the car, he has no song requests when you ask.
''How can I service you?'' he asks.
''What should I call you,'' you ask.
''No need to call me,'' he says.
''What if I want to,'' you admit. Not subtle and elusive. If I may be so bold as to in the back of your mouth.
He pauses, thinks. His gaze is saccading empty spot to empty spot and you know the only type of name you'll get is a fake. You'll take it, as a consolation purchase.
''Theo,'' he says.
Alec answers the knock with a toothbrush in his hand.
''Theo. Jesus,'' he breathes.
''Hello,'' Theo responds, overly carefully-crafted for the simplicity of a greeting, but Theo has never carried himself as though he was simple. ''I brought you those,'' he hands Alec paper sheets folded in half. ''I got my hands on some werewolves. Could you give those to Scott?''
It's more automatic than not, when Alec takes and unfolds them. They are black-and-white prints of photographs of ID's.
''You did?'' Alec says, still dumbfounded, still in the act of being interrupted. Habit-mindedness sliced in half. ''How?''
Theo shrugs. His face furrows for a beat, then he fiddles with the door handle, pushing it down twice.
Alec looks at the goods in his hands: a toothbrush, werewolfy profiles. ''Do you want me to tell him that they're from you?''
Theo looks conflicted. That's fair; it's a conflicting state of circumstances, or what is it that Liam told Alec. Maybe Theo turned to Alec because of the implied similarity: both well-accustomed to doing what it takes. Maybe Theo is finding some comfort in that; like Alec would recognise that Theo is a runaway object, or a throwaway one, only having made himself a weapon because he had been made into one first. Like Alec would recognise that Theo is trying to pay his dues. Or maybe Alec is misjudging and Theo isn't seeking comfort at all, which is what Malia thinks. Guess Alec is a little soft for softer scenarios.
''Jesus,'' Alec says again. ''You were gone so long. You didn't say anything. Have you—'' He hesitates, frowns a little. ''Does—Ah, well, you know. Does Liam know?'' He was going for tentative with this one before he swerved. Tending to the habits of skittish wolves.
Theo is looking past Alec's shoulder, distanced and glassy. Alec thinks of dolls, their eyes amiss in that they are unseeing and custom-built. It's a thought too cruel, unless it's sympathetic.
Theo shakes his head, slowly, and exhales, touches his temples with his index fingers, then drops them lower and presses them over his jaw muscles.
''TMJ pain?'' Alec asks.
Theo drops his hands. ''What?''
''Oh. The jaw joint,'' Alec points to his own.
Theo shrugs. ''It's just tender. This muscle,'' he taps.
''Have you been stressed? TMJ problems are common for young people. Can happen because of stress. Stress can cause teeth grinding.'' A clumsy explanation, but Alec can't re-order its parts now, just hopes Theo takes it. Hopes Theo makes his skin onion peel and shows something less dry underneath. And Theo:
Theo looks at him expressionlessly, for a beat, and then exaggeratedly sad-faces. Pouts, closes his eyes, nods slowly. ''I've been stressed,'' he says.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32225941
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taramaclaywasaterf · 3 years
Text
Hey guys, I know I said I was taking a break. And I am. I’m not actually, like, back back. I just need to vent, I guess.
For those who don’t know, my grandfather committed suicide. He’d been battling lung and stomach cancer for years, and the pain had gotten so unbearable that I guess he couldn’t take it anymore. He’d been in and out of the hospital for years, and the whole month leading up to his death, he was home maybe 4 nights total, the rest spent in the hospital. My dad found him. We’ve been grieving together. It’s been hard.
My family doesn’t really get along that well. Basically just me and one of my cousins are really close, but that's it. My grandfather was kinda the glue that was keeping everyone together. His death was kind of like the final string that was tying us all together being severed.
I don’t know. The police had to come. It was really really bad. They had to make sure he wasn’t murdered.
I just hope it was quick. I hope he’s with my grandmother now. That she was waiting for him on the other side, wherever that may be. That he’s not in any pain anymore. That he knows I love him so fucking much.
As for me, I just feel…I just feel fucking numb. This happened two days after the anniversary of the death of my best friend, and less than a month after the death of Trevor Moore, a comedian whose sketches made me laugh during the worst times of my childhood and whose sudden death really fucked me up.
I kinda just shut down. I didn’t really cry at all the first day. The second day all I did was cry. After that, its like my body physically stopped letting me feel anything at all. I’m just numb. And tired. And my fucking head hasn’t stopped hurting.
I walked around his house and got some things I wanted. Some old photos. Cards I made him when I was little that he kept all these years. Some love notes my grandmother wrote him when they were young. His favorite hat. I found a photo from his wedding to my grandmother, and its now hanging above my bed. Its crazy how much I look like her. How happy he looked to have her in his arms.
I also brought home his cat. I was terrified he wouldn’t fit in with my two cats and dog. But after a bit of a shaky start, and a lot of hours spent sitting with him trying to get him to trust me, he’s settled in. My grandpa rescued him from a shelter when he was a few years old. He loved my grandfather more than anything. I can tell he’s still mourning him, like we all are. But I like to think we’ve been helping each other get through it. I hope my grandfather knows I have him. That he’s not going anywhere. That he’s safe with me, and he’s happy and warm and loved. He’s curled up on my lap right now as I write this. He’s purring quietly.
I miss him. I wish I told him more that I love him. I wish I spent more time with him. I wish I could’ve at least said goodbye. I’ve been through a lot of grief in my life, and it never fucking gets easier. I wish I could take this feeling out of me leave it somewhere for a while. I wish I could fix things. I wish my dad didn’t have to see what he saw. I wish I could make it better for him. I wish this wasn’t how things were.
As for how I am right now, well, I’m laughing. Hysterically. And crying. A lot. I took a break writing this post because it was getting too hard, so I distracted myself by watching dumb videos on my phone. Until this video of Trevor Moore popped up in my Youtube recommended:
youtube
And now I genuinely can’t fucking stop laughing. Like, holy fucking shit, Trevor. You really had a way of making jokes that are flat out prophetic, huh? Here I’ve been, on the verge of relapse for the past month over how bad your death fucked ME up, and here you are, years ago, calling me out for how completely and utterly ridiculous I am. And the fact that I’m even writing THIS right NOW makes it even worse! Look at me, acting as if you fucking died to make me learn a fucking lesson! As if my own fucking grandfather died to make me appreciate life more! As if my best friend wrapped her goddamn car around a tree just to make me realize how precious fucking friendships are! As if the entire fucking universe revolves around deliberately fucking my life up! Its pathetic! Its fucking tragic and fucked up and absolutely mind-blowingly fucking pathetic! And yet here I am, writing on the fucking internet to you, Trevor, still doing the same fucking thing! And I can't fucking stop laughing, because this is the most Trevor fucking thing I can possibly think of!
Like. I don’t even know what to do anymore, guys. I know I said I’d be taking a break, and I still am. I just needed to get this out. I don’t want to bother my friends with it, they’re worried enough about me as it is right now. They're kinda treating me as if I'm made of glass right now, which I understand, but its still frustrating. I know they just want me to be ok, and just want to keep me from doing anything stupid and fucking up my life again, but still. Being treated like a paper doll at a waterpark is getting tiring. I guess it just speaks to how entirely not-great I'm doing- that even my closest friends aren't making jokes about this shit- they're acting like I'm some fragile fucking child. But yeah.
Again, I know they mean well, and they just really don't want to see me get sucked down into that fucking void again, but I want to be distracted from all the fucked up things in my life. I want to laugh about it, and not be constantly fucking reminded of how bad things are every time I catch them looking at me like I'm some sad little puppy dog they found on the side of the road.
Oh! to top it all off, I got a letter in the mail yesterday. From my mother. Who I haven't spoken to in around a decade, because she was an abusive addict who made my childhood hell. She wants to have fucking coffee and "catch up." Jesus fucking christ, why now. Seriously. Why fucking now? Nothings been released publicly about my grandfather yet- the only people who know about it is immediate family, and everyone on my dad's side of the family fucking hates my mom almost as much as I do, so there is no way in hell anyone told her about it. So this is just a total coincidence. A giant fucking cosmic "fuck you." (Oh, look, there I go again thinking my existence is meaningful enough to the entire enormity of the universe that it would target me specifically to fuck with! Jesus fucking christ!) Like, I swear to god this fucking woman has some sort of alarm in her brain that says "oh hey, my daughter is at one of the the lowest points in her life?? Time to drop on by and say hello!!!!"
Just...I don't even know. Fuck. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna get through all this shit, yall.
Well. Anyway. Thats it for now.
Find Kony 2012, I guess.
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