#i fear i already know
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CHNT Fandom what do you want from me
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I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
(ETA here although it's impossible to edit reblogs: over the months since this post really took off, there has been valuable discussion in the comments. I stand by the passion with which I wrote this post and with the general message, but not all the exact wording. I talk more about the way I'd re-write this post in a response here, replying to an addition that added a ton of useful context [other additions touched on similar themes, but that person had it all together in one reblog]. With that said, I am muting this post.)
#I know I'm not the first person to say this but#a book cannot put you in visceral fear of your safety or someone else's safety#reading is not a traumatic experience#it may be a triggering experience if you are already traumatized by something else. that is different.#meanwhile actual trauma is not always experienced as consciously upsetting!#people may act extremely chill while being traumatized!#only to then be judged by a peanut gallery on how they handled things#<one reblog recommended not using 'peanut gallery' in the future so I'll amend to say: an audience of uninvolved onlookers#trauma
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hes ballin.
i spent more time than originally expected on this stupid shitpost so on main it goes ig.
#my art#funger#fear and hunger#listen. i honestly dont know#i just got a vision suddenly so just take it#also i hope no one did this before but if they did uhhh my bad#ragnvaldr#d'arce cataliss#enki ankarian#cahara#le'garde#getting le'dunked#also i know it is full of mistakes but i DONT care this was supposed to be silly thing to make my friends laugh it already spiralled out of#control as is lmao
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I always feel like Sanji is at his core an easy crier, but we don't actually see it often (I mean he didn't even cry at merrys funeral, or at least we didn't get to see it) so this is intended to be a bit out of character. Zoro is 100% mentally going 'what the fuck, shitshitshit-'
#omegaverse#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#zosan#Sanji has no way of knowing how this will end but in a way he already knows#or lets say he fears for the worst (rightfully so)#I think he a. doesn't want to have a kid b. feels waay out of his depth because he's 19 and never had a stable parental figure#c. and I think the moment he realized this could actually be happening he had the thought of 'if he does that he can't stay#after this scene there'll probably be some ass kicking because I think he is PISSED#but first shock and tears
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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im gon keep yapping about the sound design for the magnus protocol because its driving me insane
the difference between the two podcasts is so drastic its FRIGHTENING
The Magnus Archives intro/outro: high-pitched, screeching, eerie, dies off with what sounds like a stone tumbling into the depths and lights turning on/off, water, sounds like the darkness of a cave that you must descend into even though you're terrified, but you do it anyway
The Magnus Protocol intro/outro: LOUD, deep, bone-chilling/shaking, foreboding, it sounds like darkness in a different way, like the great throat of some unknown beast that is hundreds of times larger and older than us and will swallow us whole; it's fear that hunts us, instead of us hunting it
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also, side note/addition because i realized i forgot to add WHY it freaked me out
long story short, i was around 50% deaf in my right ear until I was 12 years old (reconstructive surgery truly is something I am so grateful for) and now I'm back to a fairly normal hearing range.
The problem?
I can't hear low tones as easily.
the magnus protocol is heavily reliant on lower tones, so what I hear is likely not how most people hear it, but for me it sputters, almost, parts of it are kind of missing, and I know I'm not hearing it right, which freaks me the fuck out.
#god the sound design for tmagp is actually so amazing and astounding to me#the sound alone actually freaks me out#which is something that the magnus archives DIDNT do#im already on edge when the episode begins for protocol#tma#tmagp#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol#tma podcast#tmagp podcast#jarchivist#magnus archives#magnus protocol#the difference is that in tma theyre actively seeking the fears#but in tmagp i think the fears are hunting THEM#also the fear in the audio for me is knowing im missing parts of it#not hearing it as its supposed to be heard
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beef no one at dc thought about but that i would love to see: cassie sandsmark finds out steph (on bruce's orders) nearly got tim exploded to death, when he is the very last one of her emotional support idiots alive, and she does NOT forgive, and she does NOT forget. she will be holding this against steph (and bruce, but that's a whole other list and also this ain't about him) until her dying day. Fucka You, Basard.............. if this moron gets exploded she'll fucking snap because she can't take any more grief. did you even think of that..... no!!!! smh!!!!!!
#rimi talks#i just. man. i knowww steph's writing suffered from so many writers hating her but like#the warehouse explosion compels me#and i think cassie deserves to be a hater she's gone through so much. tim is her rock and she's his.#i think she deserves to be Incapable Of Chilling about threats to his life at this point bc kon and bart are dead. it's just him and her#and i think the idea that he came that close to dying would scare the shit out of her#and that terror would come out as anger bc she's going Through It and at least being angry feels like she's in control#and i just think that particular fear (of losing tim) and that anger (that someone tim loved would endanger him like this) would linger#cassie is a steph hater for YEARS imo. yj are already gatekeepers (see: kon @ steph robin lmao) but this? no sir#tim is cassie's little purse dog. except that cassie doesn't wear purses but like you know. carabiner dog?#you do not threaten a dyke's little carabiner dog. that thing is load bearing to her mental health and she will Not Forgive.#cassie#steph#tim
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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Palestinian freedom fighters breaking out of Gaza and reclaiming their occupied territories. They’ve taken over israeli tanks and have chased out the settlers that were on that land. They’ve launched rockets everywhere and the iron dome has failed to intercept. This is about to mark a momentous event in history.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
#free palestine#it feels so surreal and so shocking#there’s so much hope but so much fear#you just know they’re about to retaliate with the genocide they’ve been planning for years now#i fear for my palestinian brothers and sisters but this is so fucking huge#they tore down part of the barbed wire fence!!!! the people of Gaza are breaking out!!!!#god there’s so much more on twitter but i beg if you look do NOT look at non-palestinian sources#they’re twisting the narrative as if this isn’t retaliation for 76 years of torture#as if the israeli forces and settlers didn’t kill 4 palestinians yesterday alone#as if they haven’t killed nearly 300 palestinians this year alone#do NOT let the media trick you into thinking anything after will be a retaliation to an attack Palestine started#PALESTINE is the one retaliating#also if you’re gonna come in here with both sides or whatever sincerely block me and lmk so i can blokc you#they’ve already out out statements to leave children and the elderly alone so any middle aged fuckers are free to kill :)#which is fine since they’ve likely killed hundreds if not thousands of their friends and family and neighbors anyway#tag: important#fuck israel#gaza#tag: october 7 2023
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Skén:nen sá:sewh
as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc
translation: Get home safe
#nobody translate the file name#nah but home girl is the strongest soldier let me tell you#imagine date/being married to an assassin fr I would loose my mind#I'm such a sucker for the friends to lovers trope ok hear me out#Girlie is an ally to the assassin's and that's how she meets Connor and they become friends because Ratonhnhaké:ton deserves more friends o#she is VERY smart knows how to stand her ground but also very sweet and funny he respects and admires her a lot and so does she#she's from another displaced kanien'kehá:ka clan they bond really close sooner than later the feeling just blooms everyone's knows but THEM#until prob the recruits and the people in the homestead get tired of these oblivious fools in love and plot to finally get them together#I headcanon Connor didn't settle down completely until they were expecting their first child like they both panicked when they realized#I mean they're already married and stuff but still our girl is all over the place bcs she's scared of something happening to him or the bby#and connor acts cool and leveled on the outside but he's just a whirpool of emotions on the inside as well it's really funny to watch#they probably broke down in tears from both laughter and fear but they are amazing parents we are certain of it :')#I want their dinamic to be like that mainly because Connor deserves some light and laugh in his life after all the things he went through#connor i'm in love with your wife#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#connor's mistery wife#ac 3#assassin's creed#oc#the way you can tell I almost never draw men just from this sketch 💀#my art
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Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*
But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.
They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.
My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.
As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.
Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.
*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)
Anyway.
#theres also something one of my french-speaker friends said about siffrin's official pronounciation being the feminine way to pronounce -in?#which i dont know enough about to really corroborate and theyre busyyyy and havent started the game yet so i cant really ask#im sure someone else has already voiced this easy-to-come-up-with headcanon anyway but just in case nobody has i decided to post it#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#i also personally picture sif (and loop especially) being more hostile to the concept of changing themselves after The Encounter#both of them being big grudge-holders and that 'want' to control your own destiny being clearly against how they interpret the universe#as for whether they should be so hostile? probably not! but they appear to be anxious in fear of some kind of divine retribution should#they like. ever even dare to Want. and uh. well. that certainly went well for Loop. not sure they'd be gung-ho to do it again#so Loop being able to go 'oh well it wasn't my REAL name' as a salve for having to make a new identity AGAIN....#while sif is explicitly clinging to it as an anchor for Who They Are If Nothing Else.. they can upset each other and also mirabelle i think#lucabytetalks
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#buddie#buddieedit#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911#911edit#eddiediazedit#evanbuckleyedit#gifs i make#look i know eddie still has so much left to explore and heal and process within himself. but the progress he has already made is#absolutely incredible.#the way he's learnt to open up to buck. to rely on him. to see that asking for help is not a sign of inadequacy but of love and trust and#health and maturity.#his communication (the one related to his own needs and desires and fears) has improved drastically and it's beautiful to see
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My brain has been taken over by baby hülkenberg lately.. so….
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I’m just gonna plop these photos of williams rookie nico here and then scurry off into The Void
#f1#nico hulkenberg#nico#I retrieved these during my hunt for a pfp#I was never able to find the picture they used of him in the hair ranking video tho??#also I have a weird fear that some of these AREN‘T him and I’ve just posted some picture of a random guy thinking it’s him…#the thought is haunting me#if I ever delete this it‘s most likely bc of that LOL#also sorry if some of these have been posted already!! I haven‘t found of post with these yet but… how knows y‘know??#how knows.. I meant who#cursed mobile tumblr tags.. let me edit themmm#anyway yeah#baby nico
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“Before we get started, I just want you to know, if you’re a screamer, feel free.” So like she said that. Out loud. To her face. She placed her arm on the wall while having Buffy chained up against it and leaned in close to SAY THAT. OUT LOUD. But yeah sure they’re straight and not at all gay at all.
#like they wrote that into her dialogue and expected Eliza to play this as a straight character#I fear that must be some kinda dark romance title genre like I just feel like it is#and all of this was after she already complemented her by saying she looked good in bondage. WHAT. literally what. like I know she is#canonically insane at this point but this was some insane behavior I’m just saying#buffy summers#faith lehane#fuffy#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs
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anni hi i have a perfectly not-homosexual question
THIGHS??????? ARE THESE???????????? WHOSE??????
#oh i fear i already know the answer#BUT??????? BUT???????#THIGHS???????????#BC HE-#SPREADS-#i told u guys im never shutting up about this#OOC.#ZEUS. / fc.#ZEUS. / posts.
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The strugglersss
#my art#funger#fear and hunger#cahara#d'arce cataliss#enki ankarian#ragnvaldr#man i love doing mockup fake charms and such its so fun#my sideblog followers already know from my doodles that ive been playing funger for the past month#but now im inflicting the horror crew onto main blog as well sorry#man what a good game no other caused me such primal fear of 'not wanting to be there' like funger does im sooo normal about it trust me#but heads up to those who dont know it is a very dark game with a lot of fucked up stuff you have been warned
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