#i expected so much worse for this exam today tbh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nikatyler · 6 years ago

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Today has been frustrating. That’s all I’m going to say. Well, it started off nicely, I did something I was proud of. Then it went kinda downhill. I’m probably going to make it even worse as soon as I post this...there’s this thing I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. Considering I’m soooo good at communication and expressing my feelings, it’s going to end up great, you can bet.

Sarcasm aside, let’s talk about my legacies:

I just queued the rest of part one of Gen 6! It’ll run for like 40 more days though.

After that, I’ll finally post the first generation of my BPR, almost a year after starting it. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve been posting TS3 for months, I should switch back to TS4 now, it would be fair, and yes, I thought about that too. But I kinda really want to get rid of the BPR. Gen 1 is finished and I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore.

As for gen 3 of NSB, I haven’t been playing it too much recently. I’ll play it a lot in June though, I hope. As soon as the exam chaos is over.

I’ve also made some decisions about Roses, but I’ll talk about these later. There’s still a high chance I’ll change my mind.

Besides, when do I not make decisions about Roses? They’re on my mind way too often. It can’t be healthy.

Update: I’m still not done with my replies but I just got a message from my teacher, saying that I did well on the English writing exam! I don’t know the exact grade but yay me. I mean, I knew I was going to do well on this one, but finally seeing I passed feels much nicer than “oh yeah, I’m confident about my English, there’s no way I can fail”. The way this exam system works...I was worried it wouldn’t scan properly or some crap. In the past, people had problems with that.

Update 2: Still writing the replies but I just found out that apparently I got 100% on the exam. Holyyyyy crap.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Courtney: I really married this idiot. I’m stuck with him forever. Oh...”

Don't worry it could be worse. It could be Ross for example (sorry, not sorry��)

Ooooooh. Yeah I mean, what Felix does is kinda natural, what Ross does (or used to do)...is just wrong.

sparkiemonkey replied to your photo “I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying...”

Good luck with your exams. You can do it.

Thank youu! I hope so. I feel like I still remember nothing from the notes, but at the same time, when I read some of them, I’m like “duh, I’ve heard this a million times, of course I know what it is!”

desira-sims replied to your photo “I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying...”

If it makes you feel better, I’m constantly rethinking how I should have posted my story too. I think it’s why I’m enjoying doing these mini photo shoots for Gen 2. It’s glimpses into their life that I didn’t fully express in my story.

I feel like everyone does this, they get great ideas when it’s too late to change it. Some people are just better at moving on, I guess. Not that I want to move on from gen 4, nope.

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “Let’s see what we have down here…”

The lighting in this shot is gorgeous!

It is! Isla Paradiso underwater is amazing. I wish there were more diving spots though.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “It’s getting dark so fast. This should be a quick dive, or else…well,...”

this is how midnight sun challenges start...

Imagine if I did that. I love this idea.

dreamsongsims replied to your photoset “Houston we have a problem I forgot Isla Paradiso is a glitchy mess”

Yes. Yes it is. All that work to get to a dive spot and BOOM! Right back to shore.

It’s frustrating that it’ll most likely never get fixed :/

astraeanevermore replied to your photo “10 Day Self Sim CAS Challenge: You At Another Age Kind of based on an...”

I also got an ugly haircut with ugly blonde streaks when I was 15 :’D guess that’s a 15 years old thing? XD Anyway, love the pic! *O*

It might be?? And it wasn’t even a good blonde. In many photos, it just looks yellow, sometimes even a little green. But hey, I learned from my mistakes, now I’m never going blonde :D

And thank youu! ♥

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “I love this…wait, it seriously take me a whole day to get here?!”...”

most adorable screenshots ever! her expression is so cute!

She makes the best faces, I love her ♥

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “I was going to make a comment about her work outfit, saying the...”

The alien powers from Miracle are resurfacing lol

I mean, DNA is weird, sooo... 👀

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Me during the first part of Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 4 vs me...”

Haha a BIG mood

Biggest mood

I thought episode 4 fucked me up...but then episode 5 came and...let’s just say ep 4 was alright compared to this.

twistedsim replied to your post “Well that was an amazing surprise! ��”

Shit! I just now saw the score. XD Damn, you whooped Sweden's ass!

Usually it’s the other way around :D Yeah, it was great to watch. I was expecting to be disappointed but not surprised, but actually...if I’m not mistaken, that’s our best score with Sweden ever. And then with Norway, we did great too...too bad we lost with Russia today. There were so many chances and not a single goal...but oh well, it’s just one game. It doesn’t mean anything. I hope.

flowerhoneysims replied to your photoset “I was just kidding I don’t actually want her to die jkahdkfahdflg”

My diver died because of a shark ;-;

Oh nooo ;-;

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck was that a shark?? A SHARK??? I’m gonna die I’m...”

Ohhh :(

This was actually a funny moment. I thought “Awesome, her mother died in a fire, she’s going to be eaten by shark and who’s there to save their ass with a ‘quit without saving’ button? Me again! Maybe they’re telling me I should stop playing this legacy.”

But then she wasn’t actually killed by a shark. Phew.

desira-sims replied to your photo “10 Day Self Sim CAS Challenge: Date Night Bold of you to assume I’ve...”

I love this dress. ��

Me too! And I never use it for some reason. I wish I had something like this irl.

desira-sims replied to your post “So…I took a break from studying to watch the latest episode of Game of...”

I haven't watched this season yet. �� I keep saying I'm gonna sit down and binge it, but haven't done it. Maybe I'll do that Wednesday.

Oooh, I’m not sure if I would be able to binge watch it. Every episode left me feeling overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions, doesn’t matter if they were negative or positive. Actually, I don’t think this season is as bad as so many people online say...it’s not perfect but nothing is. 🤷‍♀️

Then again, speaking of binge watching, I was able to watch the previous seven seasons in less than a month last year, so maybe it is possible.

plumbobhart replied to your post “So…I took a break from studying to watch the latest episode of Game of...”

I hated it sooo... yay? D:

I’m not sure how I felt about it. Like I’ve said already in this post, today has been frustrating and this episode contributed to that. There were some things that bothered me, some decisions that bothered me, oh and there was a great example of character development going to hell (that really disappointed me tbh), but overall...idk, I guess I still kinda enjoyed it - I mean, as much as one can enjoy this tv show. It was brutal.

I’m not going to talk about it all in depth though, I could spend whole evening with that and I don’t want that haha :D

#replies #tiny-tany-thaanos #sparkiemonkey #desira-sims #justkeeponsimming #deathflowertea #dreamsongsims #astraeanevermore #alfalfalegacy #twistedsim #flowerhoneysims #create-a-sim #plumbobhart

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nade2308 · 6 years ago

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Just something I need to get off my chest...

Do you know that feeling when you finally think things are looking up, but instead they are tumbling town the abyss you came up from just recently? Yeah, well things have been like that for a very long time and I don't think that I gave myself enough time to go through them and get over them so to speak (no matter how hard you wish you forget some things, they just fade away as you slowly force them on the last shelf, but they are there, ready to pounce on you and remind you that you are never going to forget).

Maybe you are asking why am I writing this? I am not doing it to drag attention (I'm not attention seeker, nor I'll ever be, I'm okay in the place I've created for myself with the people I love and that love me and that's all the attention that I'd ever want and get. And it's okay) nor to make anyone feel like they need to do something they usually wouldn't do. Debated to just pour my soul over on other social media, but the fact that there are people from real life that I have there (including family and friends and other peoplw I know) that's not an option (I'm sure they haven't noticed anything is wrong and if they did, they haven't mentioned it. Maybe they are afraid how I'll react, or I just got better at hiding how I feel). This reminded me of that one time one of my closer friends made a remark on my character: there was this situation where another student at the Uni I'm at started jabbing me and I was this close to flipping off, and he said that I made the right choice for solving the thing with words, or else we would've witnessed an explosive "fight" o to speak. I'm not sure that's relevant to what I have to say, but at times I've been wondering how it would've turned out if I got it out of my chest every time something touched me so hard I couldn't think of anything else but that? I think with the years it just became a practice to not show what I truly feel inside, because if I do, I give all the others the ammo to keep stepping on me (which thankfully hasn't happened in years. Not literal stepping, but you'd get my point), and that's not something I wanted. I've always wondered what other people saw in mw that made them envy me, maybe even hate me, but envy me for sure. Sometimes I felt like I had target painted ojln my back that said 'hey, let's have fun with her and insult her'. I've taken jabs about being a nerd, being poor (well their definition of poor anyway), being the teacher's pet (although the very same people that were saying those things were the things they claimed I was). I was ridiculed for never skipping class, for thw clothes I wore, for every word that got out of my mouth, but it was okay. It is okay. They didn't win, because I still am the same person and they never got over their envy and jealousy and whatnot but after a while they lost my attention, the attention I gave to them. That llst time won't get back, but it serves as a lesson (I still make some of the same mistakes, but with less frequency). So, the thing is, I learned how to bury things deep inside, so deep that sometimes when they come back to me, they hurt more than they are actually important.

The worst period of my life so far was when my mom became sick. It was almost 10 years ago (in October). There were multiple things that were wrong, but for years the doctors couldn't find what it was exactly that caused all the problems: and the person that gave me life, that still watches over me when I get sick, even if she is sick herself, I watched her wilt like a flower and waste away like nothing. She was a rock, she was so strong and whenever I think of that period of my life, tears come to my eyes and I can't stop them (only thing I can't chalk up and play it up, because it hurts too much. My mom is definitely better now. Still not at 100%, but not at the level she was then. And I never got to experience puberty or typical things that come with teenage years. I was too busy taking care of my mom and praying to God to not take her away from me.

The downside of that was that at the time I didn't have the friends I have today. Except my family and a few people that I can call acquaintances (not sure if friends applies to them tbh) I didn't have anyone. I was in a dark place, having no one to talk, no one to have as my crying shoulder. Just: no one. But I want to think that my friend's' words are right: I became stronger because of it.

There are lots of things that I can talk over, and mention like the constant battle with finances, my school and the expenses, the stress of studying and exams, lots of things. I got better at dealing with those things, I wanted to be happy, but also I wanted to be healthy and with all the stress and thought I gave to things, I was on a good way on getting myself overworked and overwhelmed and I could've gotten easily doing something I'd regret.

Was I depressed? I dunno, I'm not sure how to label what I went through, what I'm going through atm. Some people have it worse than me. And I know, some may think I am exaggerating, but believe me I'm not. Fought this demon long enough to do that.

So, things were going their way, I was going my way. Writer's block happened, then it went away, I found new TV shows I liked, found different fandoms, met my online friends, my online family that's always here to support me, but mainly I met this person that I can call my best friend (never had one before, but she knows me really well, better than I even know myself, you know who you are, I'm not mentioning any names) and this is actually a post that I realized I wanted to write that came out of one of our conversations.

I remember a comment I read on Instagram once that said that whatever bothers you, you let it bother you for 5 minutes a day and then not think about it for the rest of the day. In the last few days I realized how bad I had it and how I really needed to practice this thing.

Mainly, I think things started when my grandpa died in November last year. I'm not really sure I ever dealt with the loss very well, not sure any of us has done that, but believe me when I say it, to see someone every day and then that someone being gone: nothing helps you with that. You learn to cope, you learn to move on, to smile and be happy again, but there's always going to be a chunk from you that would never be the same and won't ever learn how to deal with it. You just supress it, push it away, want it to hurt less, when in reality all you do is just hurt yourself more, drive the knife through your heart deeper and expect for the wound to heal itself and for you to be normal again. I came to realize: it doesn't. It only hurts less, but never goes away. A constant reminder with each passing day.

A few other things happened before and after this event that contributed to me getting into this depressive mood. I doubt myself for everything, but I had learned how to deal with it. In the last 9 months, that self-doubt just got stronger, and I lost myself somewhere along where even I couldn't find my way back to what I was, who I was so far. If you see me, I haven't changed a lot physically (I mean my expressions, the way I talk or do things etc.) but inside, inside there's a war.

I'm an emotional person. Always was and probably always will be. In the last few months I got emotional just a handful of times, and I know that whenever I have a good cry, the weight lifts off my shoulders and I could breathe more easily afterwards. Dunno why, but for a long time I didn't let myself cry. I'm not sure I even let myself grieve properly for the loss of a loved one. One thing after another, and I find myself in this situation where I can hardly get out of bed some days because I don't wanna face the world. I am never the type of person that wants to hide. Alone time? Sure. But, hiding? Never. Well the last few months I really wanted to hide. To crawl in on myself and not let anyone find me. I have this rule of never breaking contact with my friends, and I never did. I kept silent sometimes for a couple of hours or so, but always came back to them, because I knew if I let myself to do that, then I may as well be on my way to really losing touch to who I am.

And as with everything else in my life, I thought I had that under control. I have had happy moments, but the sad moments outweigh the happy ones, and recently I found myself being even more moody than I was before, easily snapping at people, be more emotional and see and think of things that they never were like that.

I'm sure you've all experienced this at some point, just when you are relaxed, your brain brings every bad thing, every decision you made, every thing you didn't do but you should've done it. Happened a lot to me in the last few months. And to think that I was vulnerable ro those oppressing thoughts that told me things were in a certain way (and they weren't) I came to snap and be a shit to my best friend, my anchor, and came to question myself of many things she said and did and I said and did, and even though I knew they weren't like that, my thoughts made me think they indeed were. It took me a while to get over that part (let's say it was a bend in the road that's fixed now, and I'm working on being permanently gone so I never ever repeat this horrible mistake) and it gets better with every day (because I give myself a reminder and practice the 5 minutes rule every day). There are setbacks of course, and I think there will be more times than not when I'll go through that thought process again, but now I know for sure that I will be able to resist that and not let it get on my way to happiness.

What I realized is that sometimes even when you consciously know that things are not like your brain tells you they are, you sometimes just give in to that and let all caution to the wind. I think that I need some time off myself from time to time. Time where I won't think of anything but what I do at the moment, time where I won't write or read, maybe just let myself have a nap or two, or maybe watch a TV show or a movie and not think at all. I need a break from my mind, and I need to work on it. And I will. Gave that promise to myself couple of weeks ago and I plan on keeping myself to it as much as I can.

While writing this, I've cried for the first time in maybe a month or so and let me tell you, I feel better already, like this stone has been lifted off of my soul, what crushed it before, it's not there anymore. And if you have things going on in your life where it seems like you are running out in circles and there's no solution on the horizon? Believe me there's always a solution to everything. You just have to keep fighting and not keep it in yourself if you have family and friends that love you and support you through everything. If you come to them and tell them, they'd understand. Some of them won't but even if it's just one person, it's enough. Let yourselves heal and never stop yourselves from doing the things you love and make you happy. And when things like these happen, don't let them rule with you or overwhelm you.

Give yourselves time. Like I realized I should have given myself time, and long time ago. And be honest to yourselves about everything, first and foremost.

Also don't forget: it's never too late.

Thank you for reading this, if you have, and once again, this was just a way for me to pour all of this out and in an attempt to ease myself towards healing.

Don't want anyone to worry about me, the point of this talk wasn't to make you worry about me. I'm good. I'll be good. I'm already feeling better and it's just a matter of time before the smiles I hid myself behind will go back to being genuine. Just I will give myself time.

#talk #my talk #personal life experience #just something I should have done months ago

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canaryatlaw · 6 years ago

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well, today was all around pretty great. I’m just. the relief is so overwhelming. After two months of waiting, reading one line on a message and it’s done. All those hours of studying paid off. and like, the whole time I was stressing about it before and after taking it people were always like “oh but you’re so smart I’m sure you passed” and I was just like well I appreciate your confidence in me, but you weren’t there when I kept failing on all the practice questions to the point where I’d start crying from being so frustrated, how my “missing assignments” list had become multiple pages worth of entries, how much I slacked off because I wanted to do something else and didn’t do my daily assignments, all while having a sinking feeling that I was fucked. I did feel a bit better about it after actually taking the test, which I somewhat attributed to the whole adrenaline rush thing because that’s a thing that would happen whenever I’d walk out of an audition, even if it went pretty shitty I’d walk out with a burst of confidence, so I kinda felt like it was probably just that. but at the same time I couldn’t deny that I had a supernatural peace over me calming my mind and guiding me while I was taking the test, and I knew that wasn't coming from anything inside me, because all I was filled with was doubt and fear, but as I worked on it I felt peace, I felt the studying I did shine through, I felt like I could do this. After a month of thinking I was definitely going to fail, I felt calm. I felt like I could do this. And I know none of that came from inside of me, because there was none of in me, I know that was God being by my side and never leaving me as I struggled and doubted myself the whole way, He was right there making sure I never fell. And I’m honestly tearing up right now writing this just thinking about it. Like yes of course things haven’t always been great, and there’s been a lot of stuff lately, but I cannot deny that God is good, He has been so good to me and I never would’ve gotten here without him. Okay, now that there’s all that done, my actual day. Woke up at 7, got ready, made sure to put waterproof mascara on (up until recently I had been using it every day because I am completely unpredictable as to when I’m gonna start crying, but I read a thing that said to avoid it when you can so I’d been using a different one, but knew today called for waterproof) because no matter what way this went I knew there was going to be tears. I left a little early because I had to stop by the office and drop off my lunch, since I was bringing a lunch with me that required refrigeration and didn’t want to drag it though court with me for who knows how long. So I’m on my way, and once I get on the train platform and there’s a train pulling up right next to me, my phone decided it wanted to take a plunge out of my pocket. now, to be fair, my pockets were a tad small for the phone to fit with earbuds plugged in, so it wasn’t all that well secured. but it took a dive, coming loose from my earbuds, and sliding on the platform a solid two feet before coming to a stop about 6 inches away from the edge of the platform. All I could do was look at it then turned to the person next to me who had seen the whole thing and was like “well that could’ve been a lot worse” 😂😂 and I mean, I’ve dropped my phone on the tracks before (though that was objectively not at all my fault) so I know just how true that is. Once I got on the train and looked at it my glass screen protector was broken but my actual screen was fine, so that’s what matters. Standing room only on the train, took it to the office stop and got off, then ran upstairs to stick my lunch in the fridge on my floor, and then stepped in to use the bathroom before heading to court. It was once I’d stepped into the bathroom and I was looking at my phone and refreshing my email, that I saw an email marked from the IL Bar Admissions Board and of course I knew exactly what it was, and my heart started racing. I definitely hadn’t expected to hear from them earlier than 9 am, and it was like 8:30 at this point. So I follow the link in the email to the site, sign in, and eagerly click the new message I had labeled “exam results,” took a deep breath and looked down to see “We are pleased to advise that you have passed the July 2018 Illinois Bar Examination” and I was just flooded with so much relief. I was even thinking like, are you sure? they isn’t an accident?? this is actually me??? And, crazy enough, it seems like it was. And I can’t even tell you how relieved I am to know and for all of it to just be over. Swearing in isn’t until November 8th, so I got another month to spend in not quite an attorney limbo, but I know I’ll survive. I know that once we get sworn in they’re definitely just going to throw us into the deep end, so I need to make sure I’m really paying attention in court so I’m not fucking this up. I was the first of the five new hires who had taken it to find out, so once they heard I got it of course they were very nervous. But I continued on to court, where I was shadowing one of the female attorneys I like a lot but hadn’t really been able to see in action yet. We had a bit of an odd schedule, mostly about setting trial dates, but we were running back and forth a bit, but overall it wasn’t bad. I was gonna stick with her the whole day and there was a deposition at 1, and since you always need to prep your client for the deposition you need to get there like an hourish early. It was 11 at this point so we ended up going to the corner bakery cafe that was right next to the courthouse, where we were eventually joined by two other attorneys (guy attorney I kinda like showed up and I was like “ugh, nobody told me this guy was coming” and everyone laughed) (making fun of boys is how I show my affection to them). Through that conversation I found out that 3 of us (the new hires that took the bar) had passed, but sadly two of them didn’t, so that really sucks for them. Thankfully though the firm will keep them on and not just dump them, so that’s good. Other lunch topics included one of the top attorneys who handles almost all the med mal cases apparently just confidentially put in his two weeks notice (I was warned not to tell anyone under any circumstances, but later in the day another lawyer came into our office and told us the same thing) which was....interesting. I’m not really sure if they have a hierarchy or what going on there so I don’t really know how the big wigs work. Oh well. After we finished eating we walked over to the opposing counsel’s office to prep our client for the deposition. Fairly simple car accident case, our client had been parked in a parking lot when she got rear ended by another car that had just pulled in, hard enough that the other woman’s car ended up being totaled. The deposition of her was normal enough, nothing too extraordinary, but the real fun started afterwards when it was our turn to depose the defendant. now, to paint this picture for you, this woman who caused the accident is at least in her 70s if not 80s, and tbh should not have been driving. At first there was a lot of back and forth about her license saying she needed corrective lenses while driving and she was like “I never wear my glasses when I drive” and other stuff about when she got cataract surgery and this whole big mess, then there was another mess about medications because one of the meds she listed in the interrogatories was for sleep issues and comes with a fuck ton of side effects that could easily have contributed to the accident, but when we ask her about it she straight up says she wasn’t aware of any of the side effects, and get this, it’s not even her prescription, it’s her brother’s who gives some to her when she can’t sleep 😂😂😂 I was honestly trying to hide my smile because I was just like oh man, I can’t believe she just said that lol. Then there was a whole fight about what doctor did the cataract surgery which is a very odd spot to object and the lawyers started going at it, neither willing to budge, so they had to certify the question, meaning it has to go to a judge who will decide if it should be answered or not. and then towards the end when they were going to do cross OPC and their client took a “break” during which the lawyer I was shadowing was like “watch, they’re gonna have her change everything now” and sure enough when they came back in the room suddenly she remembered the cataract surgery was in 2016, not 2013 like she initially said, and of course she was wearing her glasses at the time....even when she literally just said she never drives with them on. and like, our attorney was not having it, she was PISSED. I was honestly surprised they were trying something so brazen like that when it’s legit just a bald faced lie and everyone knew it. so on redirect we fired back, our attorney was like “so earlier you said this and now you're saying this? so were you lying then or are you lying now?” and the OPC looked like he was gonna have a stroke haha it was pretty good, and the depo went well overall so there very well may be a settlement offer coming in there soon. After we headed back to the office, where I typed up my notes from the depo and sent them to the attorney, and by the time I finished that it was like 5:15 so I headed out. Train ride home was fine, got home and got some food and was ready for The Resident this week. I won’t get into it too much because I’m mad tired but the episode made me rage so much about the state of our healthcare system and fucking children not being able to get the life-saving medication they need because their parents can’t afford it. honestly, I was so angry lol. so there’s that. After of course was 911, which was basically a continuation from last week’s in their earthquake situation. All I’ll say about it was the point where all the firemen/EMS/everyone else disobeyed orders to evacuate the building to save the firefighter that was trapped with a little girl had me on the verge of tears, it was really well done and I always appreciate stuff like that. So that was good, and after that I just watched the news casually for an hour before starting to get ready for bed, and now I’m here and GOD am I tired, what a day, so I think I definitely deserve to go to bed now. Goodnight dear friends. Thank you for all your love today, it means the world to me.

#daily journal #October 2018 #Rachel's lawyer adventures

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winterlinggg · 6 years ago

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Studyblr Tag!

GENERAL

What country are you studying in now? Eau Claire, America

What’s your major or specialization? Paralegal (Criminal Law)

What year are you in? First year of Paralegal, sixth year of college

What courses are you taking (/will be taking if on break)? Paralegal & Law Ethics, Civil Litigation, Legal Research, Economics, American Government

Favorite course? I loved my Web Design course and Cultures in Conflict courses at University

What languages do you know? Want to learn? English, Sarcasm, HTML/CSS

What language do you study in? Do you think in a different language? English, and nope!

Career aspiration? Paralegal for the District Attorney’s Office, and legal advocate for victims of stalking, especially in states whose laws offer perpetrators too many advantages via grey area and loopholes.

If you couldn’t be #8, what would you be? A web designer and developer

Moment you knew what you wanted to do? After I was stalked by a police officer who used work equipment, resources, databases and coworkers to stalk me. It is not legally considered stalking in Oregon (where it happened), but it is in my current state of Wisconsin.

STUDY ENVIRONMENT

Where is your favorite place to study? My computer, which has three 43″ monitors on top of an actual conference table. It’s nice for spreading out on.

When is your favorite time to study? My favorite is late night studying, between the hours of 10pm to 7 or 8am.

Clean desk or organized mess? Clean desk!!

Music or no music? What type? If I listen to music, it has to be lyric-less music because I get too distracted by the words.

Name top 3 worst distractions. Twitter, my boyfriend (who I live with), and YouTube

Exam time, dress up or dress down? Dress down, because I like to be super comfortable in otherwise stressful exams.

Exam time, hair up or hair down? Hair up and out of my face. When I’m hyper-focused, the tickle of my hair gets extra annoying.

Favorite outfit for studying? Honestly, just undies and a tee-shirt

Favourite study scent? Always flowers, specifically jasmine, gardenia, or honeysuckle.

STUDY TOOLS

Name 5 things you would consider your ‘study essentials’. I would say my Pentel side-click pencil, my color-designated Staedtler pens, my midliners, and notecards.

Hardcopy books or pdf online? HARDCOVER - I don’t know what it is but I cannot stand e-textbooks or typing up my notes (despite the fact that I was a computer science major. There’s something special about highlighting an actual book and writing notes down. I feel like you get to spend more time with the material.

Favorite study snack? drink? White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cliff Bar and coffee.

Favorite pen (or pencil)? Pentel Side-click mechanical pencil - I cant stand back-clicks because it makes me change my grip on the pencil every time.

Favorite notebook/paper? I’d like to explore more notebooks, like the leuchtturm1917 but I’ve been a Five Star notebook buyer since grade school. Maybe next semester.

Name 5 apps/tools that help you be productive. GoogleDrive, FamCal (my boyfriend and I’s synced calendar), the recorder app on my phone so I can listen back to lectures... I don’t know, I use paper more than apps.

How many pens/pencils/markers are in your pencil case? 2 pencils, 1 pen, 8 Staedtler pens, 8 midliner highlighters.

Backpack or purse? Backpack, but a messenger bag.

How many notebooks do you have? Five notebooks (one for each class), and one leather portfolio with a legal pad for my volunteer position with the DA’s office.

STUDY HABITS

How do you motivate yourself when you’re not motivated? When I’m not motivated, it’s typically because I’m too anxious. So I’ll take a break, take a bath, have a snack, declutter my desk, and that typically does the trick.

Pump up routine before writing an exam? run through notecards, listen to metal music tbh (I know it’s an unpopular genre but it gets your blood going).

Crammer or pacer? For assignments and general studying, I’m a pacer, and for papers I am a crammer ~ but not a day-before crammer kind of way, just in a I’m-on-a-roll kind of way.

Type of learner (kinesthetic, auditory, visual)? Kinesthetic in the sense that if I don’t physically write it out, I am less likely to remember it. It forces me to take my time with each definition/equation/theory. Then visual in the sense that, when I’m taking a test, I visualize exactly where on what page that information is written on.

How do you plan? (digital, planner, lists, no plan, etc.) Depends. Generally speaking, for my day, I use FamCal which syncs my boyfriend and I’s calendars together. For studying, like which order I’m going to read chapters/start essays/etc, I use notcard to-do lists.

Preferred note-taking method? The outline method, although I am going to attempt the Cornell method this semester.

Do you make to-do lists? How? Yes, religiously. I go class by class, starting with the lightest homework first. For example I’ll start with readings for class A, followed by the online quiz for class B, then begin the rough draft for my paper in class C.

Do you stick to your to-do lists? Yes, about 90% of the time. If I don’t then it’s because it’s for the heavier homework like a rough draft paper in class C, in which case it’s me not following my to-do list because I’m taking a break and finishing later.

Group study or independent study? Independent is good for when I’m in a hyper-focused study session, but groups are really good at motivating me because I’m competitive I want to be the most productive one there.

Average number of hours of sleep during exam time? Probably 8? I have to sleep more than the average person - I’ve been that way my whole life (it’s not a laziness thing). I typically sleep 10 hours or so, and have difficultly sleeping from the anxiousness of the upcoming test.

Ever pulled an all-nighter? Back when my PTSD was really bad I could never sleep at night, so I’d begin studying at 10pm and go to bed at 7 or 8 when dawn starts peeking through my blinds. So I used to be an exclusive “all-nighter”

STUDY MENTALITY

What do you do to recover from getting a grade lower than expected? I figure out where the hell I went wrong. Did the test come from the textbook instead of class notes? Did I focus more on general theories or ideas instead of the specifics like when and where or vice-versa?

One advice you’d give others? There is more than one way to get to where you want to go. I did a lot more writing of papers than weekly assignments in university. For papers, my best advice is to tailor the paper to what the teacher would like for optimal grading leniency. For example, in my Anthropology 380 course ‘Cultures in Conflict,’ I had to write about two cultures that struggled when they met. I may have enjoyed writing about a culture clash such as native amazonian tribes who are expected to stay “primitive” to satisfy the curiosities of american tourism, but I knew my teacher was into anime. So, I wrote my 20 page paper on “The Proliferation of Japanese Anime in American Pop Culture.” I got 110% on that paper (there were XC opportunities for that paper which I took, but I ALSO wasn’t graded down for ANYTHING because she loved the topic so much), and because it counted for so much of my grade, I ended that semester with 104% overall in that class.

What are you most proud of right now? Honestly, my desk. I took so much time on setting it up exactly the way I like it, and it’s so big and aesthetically pleasing that it’s EASY to WANT to study.

Favorite quote to keep you going? Someone somewhere is having a worse day than you. (So even if I don’t want to get up at 7:00am, I should appreciate that it’s my biggest struggle today)

Favorite way to destress? A BATH WITH A LUSH BATH BOMB

OTHER

Favorite 5 studyblrs? I can’t think of them all now, but I will make another post of people that pump out the type of content that made me love Studyblrs in the first place soon.

How often do you check Tumblr? 2x-3x a day?

Hobbies when you’re not studying? Playing video games (overwatch), taking care of my succulent garden (I easily have over 100), and watching political/social commentary on YouTube.

Favorite compulsory-reading book? Suspense/Crime books. I just Finished ‘Women in the Window’ which I read all in one day.

First nerdy joke that pops into your head. There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

#studyblrtag #studyblr #studyblr tag

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bazypitchandsimonsnow · 7 years ago

Text

Part of Your World

Chapter 4: poor unfortunate simon

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 2432

Chapter 4/11 (All chapters)

Summary: Simon makes a life changing decision.

Read on AO3

AN: Well I finished my last exam yesterday, so in celebration, here's the next chapter early! Yay! Tbh I also felt the last chapter was too short/not enough happened so and I wanted to give y'all something new sooner. And from now on I'll be posting every Monday and Thursday! Double yay! Hope you like this :) PS: Creds to @carryonmylovelies for the incredible chapter title. She's a lot smarter than me, obviously.

———————————————-

“Simon? You in here?”

Penny stuck her head through the door, and her heart sank. It was worse than she thought. When she saw David come home alone fuming, she expected something bad. But this was just beyond terrible. Everything Simon had collected over the years, all the things he loved, were destroyed. The merman himself lay at the centre of the wreckage like the eye of the hurricane, face in his arms. Simon’s soft crying was the only sound in the room.

“Oh, Simon,” she sighed as she sat next to him. “I’m so sorry.”

He whimpered, burying his face further into the ground. Penny placed a hand on his upper back and rubbed soothing circles

“Why would he do this?” Simon whispered. “ I-I wasn’t hurting anyone. It was just stuff. Does he really hate humans that much?”

“I guess so.” She picked up a piece of debris next to her, half the prince statue’s face. She traced a finger over the sharp cheekbones, thin lips, and piercing eyes. “Destroyed your new one too, huh?”

His head snapped up and he snatched it from her. Penny backed away defensively. Simon looked at it mournfully, tracing a finger over the features. It was the last reminder he had of Baz. And his father had destroyed it. Out of spite.

“I hate him, Pen,” he muttered. “I really hate him.”

The ground shook slightly under Simon, his magic responding to his anger like usual. Penny was startled. This was the first time Simon had actually said he disliked David. Not an indistinct grunt or groan, but an actual statement against him.

“Yeah, I get it, Si. He did a really horrible thing. You can stay at my place for time being.”

Simon didn’t respond. He looked at the bedrock intensely. The thoughts were tumbling around his head like a hurricane. Sorting and choosing and rationalizing, all in what really was a few seconds. They filtered down to one conclusion. One stupid, reckless, amazing conclusion.

“I want to go to the surface.”

Penelope sighed. “Simon, that’s very risky. I know you want to replace this stuff, but what if a human spots us or-”

“No no no.” He shook his head rapidly. “I want to go there...to stay...”

She kept staring at him confused. He saw the revelation slowly hit her, eyes widening and mouth falling open.

“Oh my stars!” she yelled, jolting up off the rock and floating over Simon. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?!”

“Yes. Transformation spells are a thing, it’s possible”

Penelope rubbed her forehead, trying to smooth out her increasing number of worry lines. “You cannot be serious.”

“I am! Penny, I want to leave, so badly. And I...I want to see, him again.”

“Really, Si?!” She put her hands on her hips. “You want to become human and possibly leave your home forever for some pretty boy prince?!

Simon swam up to her level, throwing his arms skywards. “It’s not just that! I’ve never liked it down here, you know that. I’m a useless merman who can barely throw a spell. A-And Father is the worst. I can’t bear living for his stupid imaginary war anymore! I just-I just need to go there, to get away, and...to get to know Baz better.” His head and arms fell down. “I can’t get him out of my head, Pen. I want- I need to know if there’s a chance.”

Penny swam back and forth, running hands through her hair. “Simon this is totally insane! You’ll be giving up your tail, your magic, your life, just to go be with some human prince you’ve seen once. I mean, how can you not see the problems here?! I know your father’s an arse but that doesn’t mean running away forever! Why can’t you just stay here? Where you’ll be safe and...” Penny finally turned to look at Simon. Her heart sank at his wide eyes, at the way his slightly open mouth was curved in a desperate frown. “And...totally miserable.” She hung her head and groaned. “Fine. I’ll help you.”

Simon gasped, then promptly tackle hugged her, hurling them through the water. “Thank you Penny! Thank you thank you!”

“Don’t thank me yet, Si. I need to find and do a spell first.”

“You will, I know it. You’re the bestest spell caster ever!”

Penelope rolled her eyes with a smile, shoving him her. “Yeah yeah, no need to butter me up, I’m already helping you.”

Simon tugged her hand. “C’mon c’mon let’s go!”

Penny sighed. She always ended up doing the craziest things with Simon. But this would definitely top the list.

———————————————-

Penelope’s family spell collection was insane. There were hundreds of tablets with hundreds of different spells. That’s where all her family members were now, wandering around the ocean, finding and creating new incantations like the majority of merfolk so. Which gave the younger merfolk free reign of the spell room.

Simon and Penny sat with many pieces of stones surrounding them. Simon tried not to let his eyes glaze over but it was getting very difficult. He scanned over the words looking for a clue, any clue. But soon, his prayers were answered. He stopped at one spell. It was just what he wanted, created for a lovestruck mermaid to be with a human. Perfect.

“Pen! I found it!”

He raced over to her, shoving the tablet in her face. “Jeez Simon, let me actually read it.”

She looked the writing over, chewing on her lip nervously. Simon watched her intently as his heart beat so fast he feared it would burst. “So? Will it work?”

Penelope sighed and nodded slowly. “Yes. But...”

Simon’s face fell. “But what?”

“But it only lasts three days. For it to become permanent, he has to fall in love with you and prove it by kissing you before sunset on the third day. That’s a lot to do in so little time. I’d be surprised if this spell ever worked.” Simon made a sound far too close to a whine. She sighed. Why must he be so pathetic and adorable at the same time?

“I mean,” she said, scratching her chin. “I could push it to five days with some work. Give you more time. But you’d still need to get him to fall for you, and kiss you. That I can’t change. And...extending the days means you’ll have to give a sacrifice.”

“What, like for a power source?”

“Yes. It’s the only way to make it last longer. It needs to be an offering or show of faith. To do something this big you need to be willing to give up something big of your own.”

Simon had vague memories of his Father’s lessons. (He only ever half paid attention). Yeah, that seemed right. Spells that were strong, reality altering magic sometimes needed an extra push. And without aid from an outside power source, like David’s trident, you would have to relinquish a part of yourself. It was a quid pro quo.

“So what do I need to do?” Simon asked, determination in his blue eyes. “Cut off some hair? A finger? Let some blood? Give my soul? I hope it’s not that. I like my soul.”

Penelope rolled her eyes and shook her head, swishing her purple curls. “No, it’s not ever something so physical, Simon. Did you actually listen during your lessons?” Simon frowned, and Penny immediately felt terrible. He didn’t need to be put down any more today, or any more period. Which only reinforced why she had to do this. So she petted his hair, and felt relieved when she saw him smile.

“Well,” she said, “my Mum said a good sacrifice is usually a sense or ability. Like sight or hearing, or a skill you’re proficient at, like spellwork. The willingness to give up stuff that big is strong enough to enhance a spell. I’m not sure what you could do. I think-”

“What about my voice?”

Penny’s eyes went wide. She stared at Simon, looking at him blankly for a long time, before realising he wasn’t kidding. “What?!”

“What if I give up my voice? As the sacrifice?”

“Simon, that’s- I don’t know...”

He shrugged and looked down sheepishly. “I mean, I’m not good with words anyway. And of course I want to see and hear him. But he doesn’t need to hear me speak. I can use my other ways to talk, I guess. And-And it’s not like I’m good enough at spellwork for the sacrifice of it to be enough.”

“Si-”

“C’mon Pen, nothing else will work. We both know that.”

She rubbed her lips together, racking her brain for an alternative. But he was right. Taking anything else would be too much of a hindrance or not powerful enough. Penny sighed, then nodded. “Alright. Help me set up the ingredients.”

———————————————-

Penny tossed the entire glass bottle into David’s cauldron. The smoke within brewed and churned. Another beaker added and it turned green. Simon watched with absolute fascination. Only his father had ever done something like this and it was only once.

Penny held the sea cow tongue, the final ingredient, in her hand, just over the pot. But she was unmoving. Simon furrowed his brow.

“What’re you waiting for? Throw it in!”

“Simon,” Penny said. Her tone was sympathetic, that of a worried true friend. “Before I finish this, are you really sure? Do you remember how transformation spells work? Once it’s cast, I can’t turn you back, nothing can. You’ll be stuck unless the time runs out. You’ll...” She closed her eyes, biting back her more morose emotions. “You’ll lose everything you know, Si, possibly forever. So, are you are really, really sure?”

He took a minute, truly letting Penny’s question roll around in his head. Yes, he did know how transformation spells worked. He knew he’d be stuck as a human for at least five days, and yes, possibly forever if the spell was completed. He could permanently lose his magic and his tail. All for the world he’s wanted to learn more about since he was 11. As well as for a new person he couldn’t get out of his head.

There was only one answer.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Penny tightened her mouth, nodded, and finally, she tossed the last ingredient into the stone pot. It exploded in a mushroom cloud of bright greens and blues and purples. It roared like thunder, swirling like a storm. Simon backed up. He couldn’t help but be frightened.

“You gotta say something, Simon,” Penny yelled over the noise.

“Like what?”

“Anything! Just needs to be continuous.”

One thing popped into Simon’s brain. It was a simple vocalisation constantly stuck in his subconscious. It always sounded like it was sung by a woman. Simon sometimes wondered if it was his mother. And even Simon, with his harpy screech of a voice, could copy it.

He sang.

A smoking green hand reached out from the pot. It was bony looking with long claws, twisting towards him. Simon had to stop himself from running, remembering he wanted this. Getting away from David, going to land, meeting Baz, it was all worth the fear. It had to be.

The hand reached down his throat. It was like he’d inhaled a whirlpool, pulling and sucking within his windpipe. He couldn’t think or breathe or do anything but wait. And then he felt it, when the magic took hold. In one second he was singing the remembered song, and in the next he simply no longer could. His own voice was yanked from him, a piece of himself literally ripped away like it was nothing. As if it was plucking a mere hair from his head. The hand left his throat and held his voice out front of him. It was now a tiny golden ball of light, held between two smokey green fingers. He meant to say “Neptune’s beard”.

But no words came out.

The hand turned fiery orange, charged with the power of Simon’s sacrifice. It pulled back into the smoke soup, leaving the tiny sun floating aimlessly. Penny gently took the the orb and shoved it into her shell necklace. A spell only needed an act of sacrifice. So she could save the voice itself. What could she do with it? Who knew. As far as she knew, no one had ever gotten a sacrificed returned to them. Maybe it couldn’t ever be given back, even if the spell timed out. Simon could be voiceless forever no matter what. But she’d save it, just in case, for her best friend.

The smoke roared louder, becoming nearly deafening. Bright light washed out everything else in the room. The room vanished around Simon. Everything happened too fast. An orange bubble snapped around his whole body. The sensation and texture of it reminded him a jellyfish. The pain came next. It felt like a something sharp slicing right through the middle of his tail, splitting the limb in two. It was beyond agonizing. Simon screamed and screamed, but only released more silence.

And just like that, it was all gone. The room was back to normal, with no zero multi-coloured light or thunder. Simon flapped his arms and kicked his feet. His feet, attached to his long human legs. He kicked them frantically, trying to keep himself afloat with their relatively weak power. And...

He couldn’t breathe.

Water filled his lungs instead of passing through them like usual. He clawed at his throat, his eyes bugging out at his friend. He tried to speak with only a look. “Penny I can’t breathe, I can’t fucking breathe!” Penelope gasped and rushed towards him.

Simon's vision started to fill with black spots, his limbs familiar and new becoming heavy. He could barely feel Penny grab him and swim them up out of a hole at the top of her coral house. She swam faster than she ever had before. The water rushed around them as they rocketed towards the light of land above. And soon they burst through the ocean surface.

Simon took a deep gasping breath and came back to life. He floated in the water, new legs treading weakly, still panting heavily. His head slumped onto Penny. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave it a squeeze, saying “thank you” with the simple gesture.

Penny patted his hand. “You’re welcome, Simon,” she said, her own breathing laboured. “Let’s get you to your prince.”

Simon nodded. Then he promptly passed out.

———————————————-

AN: Simon is human and voiceless! What will happen next? Well, I know what will happen, I wrote it. But all of you will find out next Monday :D

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #penelope bunce #fluff #angst #little mermaid #little mermaid au #part of your world #mysnowbazfic

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inter-galaxy · 7 years ago

Text

Time Stamp

coming at you with some namgi fluff! something happy! can you imagine?

huuuuuge thanks to @namgii for okaying this fic and being a good friend ily ♥

Summary: Yoongi wants to send Seokjin a text, but he goes and fucks up the number. But, you know, that's okay, because that one text starts something great, amazing, extraordinary.

you can also find it on ao3

To: Unknown

Time: Monday, Feb 12 • 03:51

hey jin i know you’re probably asleep but i just remembered the thing you asked me the other day and the answer is bananas and i really need you to know. k tnx for coming to my ted talk

To: Unknown

Time: Monday, Feb 12 • 14:26

Oh shit, I’m sorry about this! I thought I was texting my buddy but turns out I put in the wrong number? Last time I try texting without opening the contact because I’m sure I know the number by now, haha. Thanks for being chill about it!

To: Not-Jin Namjoon

Time: Friday, Feb 16 • 04:42

do you know how weird you are for continuing to talk to a stranger that accidentally texted you at four am? incredibly weird.

To: Not-Jin Namjoon

Time: Friday, Feb 16 • 04:57

uh, fuck you?? you can’t judge me for being awake when you are also awake that’s not how this works, i’m the judge in this relationship

To: Not-Jin Namjoon

Time: Friday, Feb 16 • 05:53

and, anyways, that’s how i got to be literally the best person in the world? or best roommate at the very least! honestly, he’s lucky to have me!

but you have to tell me what happened with the fountain??? you can’t just keep teasing me about it and then not telling me!

To: Namjoon

Time: Wednesday, Feb 28 • 23:38

hey, just wanted to say that i had a really nice time today? never would have guessed that texting the wrong number would lead to the best free dinner of my life, but here we are!

To: Namjoon

Time: Wednesday, Feb 28 • 23:45

on a more serious note, i’m glad you kept talking to me weirdo, always nice to have more friends

To: THIS ONE IS JIN

Time: Tuesday, Mar 6 • 02:37

jin, jin i’m having a crisis what do i do he’s just so cute and funny and pretty and he laughs at my stupid jokes i don’t know what to do

To: Traitor Jin

Time: Tuesday, Mar 6 • 04:29

i want you to be aware that this conversation has been useless and has not helped me with my crisis at all and also you are a horrible friend

To: My Favorite Friend Jin

Time: Wednesday, Mar 7 • 19:30

you know what i said yesterday about you being horrible? i take it back, you’re the best person in the entire world and i would be dead and rotting in a hole somewhere without you and i just need you to know this because i love you very much you’re amazing and handsome and hoseok is incredibly lucky to have you and i’m lucky to have you as a roommate you’re the best

in short thanks for hooking me up with a date idk how you did it

To: Joon

Time: Thursday, Mar 8 • 00:57

i had a really nice time tonight, i’m glad we went on this date. next time though, maybe we shouldn’t try to rob a store? even if it’s on accident??? how do you even do that??? it’s adorable???

To: Joon

Time: Friday, Mar 23 • 05:37

Namjoon, please just stop ignoring me? I get that I fucked up but I want us to talk and get over this and not just continue fighting and ignoring each other. Please. Look, I’m even using proper spelling and everything! Okay, a misplaced joke, maybe, but I just really miss you. Please.

To: Namjoon

Time: Monday, Mar 26 • 17:53

How about next time we fight you don’t force me to come to your workplace and confront you? Needing time to process things is one thing, but ignoring me for such a long time is unacceptable. I don’t want to keep having this fight so please just talk to me next time.

To: Namjoon

Time: Tuesday, Mar 27 • 01:48

Of course I’m mad? You ignored me like I wasn’t important at all, how did you expect me to react? Welcome you back with open arms? Fuck no. I really like you, and I want this to work out, but you can’t be a child about it.

To: Joon

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 14:33

are you still coming today? jin’s got all the snacks ready and we bought drinks and hoseok’s bringing the movie, so you don’t have to worry about anything you just gotta show up on time. see you soon!

To: Joon

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 17:23

joon? are you on your way? we’re all here and waiting for you.

To: Joon

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 17:46

namjoon? it’s not like you to be this late, and to not answer me? i thought we were doing better. are you okay? i hope you’re safe.

To: Jin

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 19:25

i just got to the hospital. they’re not letting me see him yet but a nurse told me that he is stable for now. i’ll keep you updated. please forward to the other guys.

To: Jin

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 19:59

they just let me in to see him. he’s still unconscious but he’s fully stable now. they’re saying that they don’t expect any permanent damage. his left arm got broken, and he looks pretty beat up, but he’s mostly alright. they say it’s lucky that the car hit the passenger side, as otherwise the damage would be much bigger. i’m going to stay here until they kick me out, i’ll keep you updated.

To: Jin

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 21:30

they’re saying i have to leave in half an hour. can you come pick me up? he’s still asleep, but he hasn’t gotten worse so i’m thankful.

To: Hoseok

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 08:37

jin’s gone to work already so i was hoping you could give me a ride to the hospital? i can take a bus if you’re busy, don’t stress.

To: Hoseok

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 09:27

thanks for the ride, i owe you one

To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 13:28

you don’t have to come for lunch, i know you usually spend it with hoseok. i’ll eat something in the cafeteria, i promise so please don’t worry. he hasn’t woken up yet.

To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 16:22

thanks for coming over, even if it was just a little bit. i’m freaking out a little, but they say he’ll be okay so i just have to trust their judgment. i’ll update you if anything happens.

To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 19:43

he woke up! i’m so relieved. he wasn’t awake for long, and complained about being in pain and that it wasn’t fair that his boyfriend was as pretty as an angel because he couldn’t tell whether he was in heaven or not. he passed out again when they upped his morphine, but they say it’s good that he woke up.

To: Jin

Time: Wednesday, Apr 18 • 12:55

he’s doing much better, already complaining about the hospital food. they say he has to stay for a while longer but that he will need help for the first few days he’s out, so i’ll stay at his. we spent all morning talking. i’m happy he’s okay.

To: Joon

Time: Monday, May 7 • 22:37

hey, i’m running a little late because no shop in town has the soda you like. i expect great payment for the trouble i am going through just to get you this soda. i want you to know that i have suffered greatly for it.

To: Joon

Time: Wednesday, May 9 • 03:22

uhhh,,,, no need to be rude?? i give you my life and this is how you repay me? by judging my music taste??? i’ll have you know i graduated top of my class bitch

To: Jin

Time: Friday, May 25 • 04:37

is it too early to tell him i love him? because i think i love him. i’m like pretty sure i love him. i don’t think i’ve ever loved anyone as much as i love him. help.

To: No Help Jin

Time: Friday, May 25 • 04:43

okay but i have no actual idea if i should tell him or text it to him because you know talking over text is usually easier and i get to formulate what i want to say and i get to think about how to say it but then that might seem impersonal and i don’t want him to think i’m an asshole but who knows when i’ll see him next because exams are coming up and i want it to be perfect and i don’t know jin i’m so stressed aaaaAAAAAAAAAA

To: Jin Will Scream At Me

Time: Friday, May 25 • 05:21

you can tell me i’m insane tomorrow and i’ll agree haaaaaa i just told him that i think i’m in love with him and then hid in the bathroom for like twenty minutes but he hasn’t replied because he’s asleep because of course he’s asleep but i’ve slept like four hours in the past two??? three??? days??? help

To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 16:22

now you listen here you little shit just because i’m in love with you that does not mean i won’t kick your ass because you dare disrespect the god the hero the king kanye west himself fuck off

To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 16:34

oh no you do not get out of this by calling me babe and telling me you love me i am never forgetting this sin i will never let you live this down

To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 19:02

uuuuh??? that’s rude wtf??? i’m the nicest person in the world like i’m a fucking delight lmao

To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 19:55

not all men you’re absolutely right my main man midoriya izuku would never do this he is a good boi

To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 21:00

ohhhh my good namjoon that is not how it works like even remotely??? how??? how do you manage to be so this way????

like no shade but also full shade how do you manage to break a remote???

To: Joonie

Time: Thursday, Jul 19 • 00:22

it’s not even that late it’s only midnight we’ve both gone to sleep at a much later time tho and i really need to talk about this because it’s make me restless and i don’t wanna spend the entire night twisting and turning so if you could stay up with me for a while that would be really nice because i really need it

To: Joonie

Time: Thursday, Jul 19 • 00:27

thank you. okay, so, i just really need to get this off my chest because it’s slowly starting to suffocate me and i don’t want to keep all of that inside anymore because i want to get better and i want to talk to people about these things and i trust you and i love you and so i want to share this with you. okay. so you know how i get really stressed when exams roll around because i just wanna do well and i’m scared, terrified of failing, and then sometimes i just start feeling like something is constantly sitting on my chest and it’s hard to breathe and sometimes i even forget to breathe and tbh if i didn’t live with jin i’m not sure i would always eat during these times or even sleep. and talking to you helps, it definitely helps because i feel like i can breathe a little easier because i know you understand me even when i don’t talk about it. but i want to talk about it. and right now i wanna ask that you ask about this stuff. it’s hard but i wanna talk about it. and if you want to then i wanna listen to it as well. i love you, and i want this to be something that we can talk about.

To: Joonie

Time: Thursday, Jul 19 • 00:58

i don’t feel like that at all. you’re just trying to make me feel better, i really appreciate that. i always find it cute when you ramble like that, you know? don’t be worried about talking to me, we can only understand each other if we communicate. i’m really happy we’re talking about this. thank you.

To: Jin

Time: Monday, Jul 30 • 08:22

i’m leaving now i’ll be at hoseok’s in like twenty minutes if you two aren’t ready i’m stealing your car and going to watch joon alone and i’ll talk shit about you the whole time

To: Joonie

Time: Monday, Jul 30 • 08:44

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck!!!!!!! we’re all in the stands we’ll be rooting for you and screaming your name. well. maybe not. it’s a poetry thing not a concert so maybe no screaming but at least loud clapping!

To: Joonie

Time: Monday, Jul 30 • 9:59

uuuuuuuuuuuuh??????????? that was amazing?????????? my boyfriend kim namjoon the love of my life is literally the best poet in the world wow

To: Jin

Time: Wednesday, Aug 15 • 12:04

yo man you left your one box of old photos here and i couldn’t resist so i opened it and took pictures before sealing it perfectly again but can you come pick it up because i’m about to hand the keys back because i’m done with my stuff and this box is just here and waiting for you and who knows what else i will do with it if you don’t come quick.

just please hurry i wanna go to my new apartment with my boyfriend and not sit in this empty place.

To: Jin

Time: Friday, Aug 17 • 22:22

i take offense to the fact that you think that i cannot cook. just because i choose not to cook, that does not mean that i do not know how to do this. we’re having a cookoff. i will not stand for this hearsay.

To: Joonie

Time: Sunday, Aug 26 • 19:31

don’t listen to jin i was the one who won the cookoff because i am the best and i have brought the food back home so we’ll have the rest together when you come back please hurry i am a whole hunger

To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Sep 23 • 04:29

i know it was kinda rough sometimes with him, and sometimes it still gets like that, but we’re good, you know? we’re good for each other and we get a little better every day and i love him more than i’ve ever thought possible and, you know, i think we’ll be okay. we’ll be okay. definitely.

#bangtanwriters-net #namgi #sugamon #fluff #namjoon #yoongi #angst #background jin/hobi #soft #text fic #texting #aj writes #texts are all sent from yoongis phone

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btsfanficss · 7 years ago

Text

Stay Professional! Pt. 11

Work AU! Fluff, Angst and smut: Jungkook x Reader

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 (12 has arrived! )

Summary: Jungkook desperately tries to fix his mistakes. Whether it be through his irresistibly sweet speeches or something a little more, you were bound to fall under his spell again.

A/N: Yes I am back! Did y’all miss me? 😘 I honestly think the mothers are the best characters ever tbh (ultimate wingwoman goals). Sorry I didn’t update for so long- I had my Semester 1 exams :) As always, feedback is appreciated!

Jungkook knew that there was nothing he could do. So why did it feel like he was waiting for a miracle to occur? He rhythmically tapped on the dark mahogany table with his slender finger, tension built up to his shoulders. He felt as though he was going to snap at any given moment. And he hated the feeling. He couldn’t stand the nausea that bestowed upon him when he thought about you. At least he knew he fucked up this time.

“Jungkook, may I come in?” A familiar voice interrupted his toxic thoughts. He quickly glanced in the direction of the elegant voice and a small smile of relief spread across his lips.

“Of course mother.” He gave her a nod of affirmation before standing up to greet her properly.

“You’re probably wondering what brings me here.” She smiled warmly at him and closed the door behind her before seating herself across Jungkook’s table.

“Sit, son. We have some talking to do.” She spoke in a gentle tone- but Jungkook was beyond intimidated. He felt like he was 4 years old again, getting lectured and scolded. But this time it was worse because it wasn’t Jimin lecturing him, it was Jungkook’s actual mother- whom before had no time to do that.

He gulped noticeably loud before looking behind his mother’s shoulder and he avoided her gaze completely.

“Is it possible for us to do this tomorrow? I’m really not feeling good today.” He confessed and his mother raised an eyebrow.

“Did you think I was here to lecture you?”

There was a small pause that intensified Jungkook’s childish fear. Despite being a grown man, Jungkook didn’t deal with authorities well because it was abnormal to have people of higher status than him.

“You’re not wrong my darling but that’s not my main intention. I’m here as a mother today. How about we sort things out together?” She suggested in a sweetened voice and gently placed her hand on top of Jungkook’s and his trembling stopped.

“As you may also be aware, I wasn’t very happy when I found out that Y/N left the company. I assumed it was because of you- you do have a reputation for firing assistants quite regularly so I wasn’t surprised. But she had so much potential and she brought out the best in you so I was generally upset when you fired her. Not to mention, you looked so much happier with her around.”

“For one, I didn’t fire her. She left because Jimin offered her a job at his company. He told her that she was a burden to me and so she left.”

“Then why did you tell me that you fired her?” His mother sounded genuinely confused. And before Jungkook could reply, she answered for him with sparkling eyes.

“You were trying to protect her image.” Her voice squeaked in relief.

“Oh thank god!” She placed her hand over her thumping chest and a smile stretched across her relieved face.

“This whole time I was worried because I thought my son turned into a maniacal and heartless business man! Thank goodness you have some sort of consideration for others.” She fanned her face and sighed in relief.

“You can’t be serious, mother.” Jungkook chuckled and his mother laughed.

“Oh honey I am. Before Y/N you were so.. artificial. Sometimes I felt regretful because I thought I changed you for the worse. My son, you are still very young; I know the pressure I’m putting on you and though keeping a cool head and being detached from your emotions when doing business is an advantage.. you’re my only child and I can’t afford to let greed consume you.” She confessed and Jungkook suddenly softened his gaze as his mother gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Jungkook’s adorable smile warmed her heart instantly and she felt obligated to continue.

“I think I know my son well enough to say that you’re head over heels for that girl. What are you waiting for? Get her back. Don’t tell me I raised a loser, now did I?” She quirked an eyebrow and the original smirk that Jungkook inherited spread across her features.

Jungkook let out a hearty laugh and craned his neck back to hit the cushion of his leather seat. “So you approve of her?”

“Darling, it’s not a matter of my approval at this point because even if I said no, I highly doubt you’re going to get over her before my whole company burns down because your shitty reports.” She giggled and Jungkook cringed at the truthfulness in her savagery.

“I’m glad we had this talk. At least now I know my son isn’t a complete asshole. I expect to see you in top notch condition soon- invite her over while you can. I don’t know how long this 'approval’ will last.” She answered in a cheerful tone and quickly walked off after checking the time on her phone.

“Good luck Jungkook! Not only for the sake of you but for the sake of my company, get her back please. For the love of God child, this better fix your recent concentration issue.” Her voice diminished as she strutted further down the long hall outside of Jungkook’s office. And for the first time since the incident, he felt as though he could take on the world again.

You squinted your eyes in confusion, brows furrowed into a deep ‘V’ shape as you tried to make out the unrecognisable figure that sat comfortable on the jet-black motorbike. The person was wearing black from head to toe, his jacket that had extra padding made him appear even more buff and the tinted helmet successfully hid his identity. He took off his shiny leather gloves to unclasp the buckle of his motorbike helmet. And within a couple of seconds, he managed to pull off the tight helmet. You could hardly believe your eyes.

There sat Jungkook, looking ridiculously irresistible on his black motorbike that was shined to perfection as it reflected sunlight into your eyes. Jungkook shook his head to get his fringe out of his eyes. His noir locks bounced back in place and he fixed his fringe before casually striding up next to you with the familiar bunny smile you were so obsessed with. His ‘bad-boy’ demeanour certainly didn’t fit that childish smile. He presented two clashing charms.. and maybe that’s what made him even more charming.

“Hey.” He smiled and scanned your expression in an attempt to read your thoughts. You could only raise an eyebrow in response to his sudden and very random appearance.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, breath hitched as you couldn’t believe your sight. Jungkook looked so divine in his all black motorbike attire, but nothing could match up to his charming smirks and smiles you’d missed so much but was too afraid to admit.

“I’m here to see you.” His smile dropped and he suddenly looked very serious. It felt so wrong to think that he looked so deadly handsome in that black leather jacket. It wasn’t the time to fawn over his beauty, it was time to act logically.

“Jungkook.. I told you I need time to think.” You sighed, a little frustrated at his persistence but at the same time, a little relieved because it showed you that he was desperate and that he really did care.

“I know I know.. you don’t have to give me an answer now but I just.. wanted to see you.” He said with an undeniably handsome smirk smeared across his lips.

“We both know you don’t have time for that.”

“But I’m making time for it-.”

“Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?” You crossed your arms in defence and shifted your weight to one leg, some sassy body language that Jungkook found adorable.

“You’re right... maybe I shouldn’t have ran away.” He chuckled lightly, as though what he’d just done wasn’t a big deal.

“What? Are you crazy?! Did you really come all the way here without telling anyone?” Your jaw dropped in disbelief.

“I thought you’d find it romantic.” He smirked again and you could feel an annoying blush creep up your face.

“Jungkook that’s so stupid! You know what you’re doing right now is completely careless and irresponsible! This is going to be your company--”

“--but you’re my future, Y/N.” He cut you off with a deep voice and took a step closer to you. He touched his forehead with yours and you felt the butterflies go haywire inside your stomach from him being stood so close. Jungkook intertwined his fingers with yours and pressed a soft kiss onto the back of your hand.

Fuck, why did that always seem to work? You couldn’t help but roll your eyes- not because he was being cheesy, but because you knew that you loved every second of it.

No words could come out of your mouth so you just continued to stare blankly at him. Jungkook felt so relieved that you didn’t push him away and so a warm smile emerged from the bottom of his heart.

“Am I.. interrupting something?” Your mother’s voice called out from behind and you immediately shook your hand away from his, an evident blush of crimson on your cheeks.

“Ye- I mean no. No, mum it’s alright. We’re not doing anything.” You stuttered uncontrollably as you could feel Jungkook sneak up closer from behind. Did he have no concept of personal space?

“That’s a little suspicious.” She laughed and made eye-contact with Jungkook behind your shoulder. “And who might this handsome bloke be?”

Jungkook happily walked over to your mother and bowed his head in respect before charming his way through another life-situation. It always seemed to work for him. But you weren’t surprised since he had such a face..

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, ma’am. I’m very delighted to meet you.” He raised his head to meet her eyes with a gentle smile.

“O-Oh..” Your mother’s eyes widened in shock. “I’ve heard lots about you, dear.” She covered her mouth and giggled.

“That’s not very good.” Jungkook laughed and ruffled the hair on the back of his head, which was something he often did only when he was nervous.

“I’ve made some pretty terrible mistakes but.. I’m changing. I’m willing to change if it means that I can make Y/N happy.” He said through a gummy smile and your mother seemed a little speechless.

All she’s heard from you was all the negatives. You’d told her that Jungkook was a merciless and careless business man with no real heart but the man that stood in-front of her was someone completely different. You once never mentioned to her about Jungkook’s chivalry or professionalism. Or once never mentioned the fact that he was bloody gorgeous.

“That’s.. lovely.. it’s getting cold outside. Let’s warm ourselves up with some tea, shall we?” Your mother suggested and you immediately spoke up in objection.

“No mum. He needs to get back to his company asap. If his mother found out that he’s here I’m going to get a death sentence- I can’t afford to ruin my life even more.”

“I rode all the way here. You can’t expect me to just leave right now. It took me 4 and a half hours to ride here Y/N.” Jungkook defended himself in a desperate attempt to gain your sympathy.

You grumbled in frustration and stormed inside, a little defeated that you were going to have to talk to him. Your mother led him into your small house in which you grew up in and Jungkook’s happiness radiated from him at the sight of your baby pictures he eyed when he arrived in the living room.

“Please, make yourself at home.” Your mother insisted and Jungkook didn’t even sit down, he went straight for your neatly framed child-hood photographs.

You were too grumpy to notice the heart-eyes Jungkook had looking at your baby photos. His heart had never felt so touched before.

“Oh my god you were adorable.” He chuckled lightly before picking up another frame to analyse. “I can’t say much has changed.” He looked over his shoulder to see you sat comfortably on the sofa, legs and arms crossed.

“Oh please Jungkook. A couple of smooth words isn’t going to fix this mess.” You turned your head the other way so your inner-thoughts would stop complimenting how good he looked.

“I realise.” He sat down next to you and twiddled his thumbs around each other. What an unusual habit. You’d never noticed his cute little habits when he got nervous because it was very rare for someone like Jungkook to lose his composure. But that certainly wasn’t the case when he was around you.

Your mother sat directly across from Jungkook and stirred her freshly brewed tea. You could practically sense the fear, judging from Jungkook’s fastened thumb twiddling.

“So tell me dear, why should I trust you with my daughter.” Your mother got straight to the point and Jungkook gulped in response.

“Because..” He planned out a million different ways to respond inside his head but nothing seemed to come out of his mouth.

“I love her.” He said blankly. It was the only thing that seemed to slip out- his nerves were getting the worse of him and you didn’t know what to think of the situation.

“How are you so sure?” She asked and calmly sipped on the warm tea.

“I..I’ve never felt so sure in my life. I’ve never felt like this for anyone. I didn’t want to admit that I had feelings for her at the start because.. I didn’t know if someone like me was capable of being genuine..” Jungkook found it nearly impossible to peel his gaze off of his now semi-warm cup of tea.

“I.. Before Y/N, I felt completely detached from the world. Everything felt very grey... cold and colourless.” Jungkook finally looked at your mother straight in the eyes and she could tell that he wasn’t lying about his feelings.

“Then what do you plan to do next?”

“I plan on making it clear to Y/N that I am sincere about my feelings. I know I’ve made many terrible mistakes but I’m determined to persuade her that I’m serious about her. I’m willing to do anything that’ll get her to change her mind about me.” He looked over to you with a desperate gaze and you looked away immediately, unable to handle his convincing voice.

You just squeezed yourself tighter and your mother could tell that his smooth-talk seemed to be working. But it shouldn’t, especially not after how he broke your trust.

“Shouldn’t you be back in the office with Yujung or whatever her name was?” You sounded terribly petty but you didn’t seem to care. And neither did your mother.

“I fired her.” He interrupted before you could continue to give him shit.

You just rolled your eyes in response but deep down you were so very relieved of that. “I’m very sorry.. I wasn’t thinking straight and I know I hurt you- it wasn’t intentional I promise.” Jungkook shuffled closer but you inched further away from him and he let out a sigh of defeat.

There was a heavy silence that added extra tormenting weight onto Jungkook’s already heavy shoulders. Your mother just continued to drink her tea and you hadn’t even touched yours, similar to Jungkook’s situation. He slowly stood up from the sofa and lowered his head greatly to your mother.

“Thank you for giving me a chance to express myself.” He lifted himself up from the deep bow and sighed again upon the sign of you, curled up into a ball; still evidently annoyed with him. “It was lovely seeing you again, Y/N.” He smiled weakly and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head before he ruffled your hair affectionately. You could only pretend to not care but obviously your body couldn’t hide the glowing ecstatic feelings within.

“Leaving so soon?” Your mother suddenly asked in a bold voice. His ears perked up at the unexpected question.

“Yes ma’am. I was only briefly visiting to cure my sanity for a little while.” He admitted selfishly and your mother seemed to appreciate that.

“It’s already getting dark. It’d be terribly rude of us to just let you leave at this time, especially since it’s four and a half hours ride from here.” She placed her tea cup down and analysed your reaction to her surprising words.

“I suggest you stay over and leave in the morning.” She smiled and your mouth dropped open at her bewildering suggestion. She could see both of your facial expressions change in confusion.

“Pardon?” Was all Jungkook could ask as a happy smile seemed to peak through from just the thought of spending the night under the same roof as you.

“I’m just saying.. I don’t want to be responsible for your safety, dear. From the things that I’ve heard from my daughter, you seem to be a very important person so- I don’t plan on taking any risks regarding your safety.” She admitted and the amusement in her voice continued to grow.

“Mum he’s a grown man. He can handle himself just fine. It’d be worse if he stayed here because the entire company’s probably already freaking out.”

“I’m sure Jungkook is aware of that. But I still think he should stay the night. What do you think, Jungkook?” Your mother eyed him curiously and his smile radiated joy.

“I.. You’re right. I suppose it is getting too dark. But I can only stay if Y/N agrees to let me.” He looked over to you and you sank deeper into the warm couch. You pretended to groan in frustration and stormed out of the living room quickly before anyone could catch a glimpse of relief on your face. You’d secretly wished for him to stay a little longer.

“She didn’t exactly say no.” Your mother pat his shoulder kindly before cleaning up the cups of full tea that’d turned cold.

You’d come back from a brisk walk that cleared your mind. Jungkook’s charms were seriously effective and you’d decided to keep your distance from him even though he’d be sleeping under your roof for that night. You carelessly kicked off your shoes and placed the plastic bag that had some groceries from your small walk onto the cold wooden floor. You picked them up, opened the fridge and placed the eggs and milk in their usual places whilst humming a happy tune to yourself.

You strolled over and opened your bedroom door and your humming came to a sudden stop.

There stood Jungkook, both of you frozen at the sudden appearance of each other. Except you were more shocked because he was shirtless. Jungkook had a white towel carelessly wrapped around his waist and another towel over his head. You traced your eyes over his impressive chest and soon had heart eyes for his defined abs. Jungkook was completely frozen in place, his biceps evident from the way he used the towel to dry his wet hair. You brought your eyes back up to meet Jungkook’s and by that time, your face turned completely red. His pink lips were parted ever so slightly and his eyes widened in astonishment.

Heaven had blessed your eyes and your heart thumped violently within your chest. You quickly slammed the bedroom door before neither one of you could say anything. “I’m sorry!” You instinctively yelled out and buried your hot face into your now clammy palms. Jesus you did not expect that.

After a couple seconds of quick shuffling, there was a sound of quick footsteps on your wooden floor and then suddenly, a strong aroma had hit you. Jungkook had opened the door and he was slightly out of breath from rushing to get dressed. You could tell he looked a little tired from the way his chest would rise and fall quickly when he let out breathy apologies.

“I didn’t know I left the door open.” He chuckled and you could feel his minty fresh breath against your flushed face. You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t be shaken up by his charms but that was impossible when he looked so handsome and smelt absolutely divine. You didn’t know your shampoo could even smell that good. Or perhaps, that was just Jungkook’s natural scent.

“I’m sorry. I promise it was an accident. I’m not planning anything.” He panicked a little because you were being so quiet. You just wanted to shut him up because his voice sounded alluring enough, not to mention his scent. He was wearing the same clothes for before and it smelt of his usual, expensive cologne.

“It’s fine. Sorry I should’ve knocked.” You blabbered and tried to calm down your ridiculously fast paced heart. You felt as though you could happily drown yourself in his scent.

“Don’t apologise, it’s your bedroom. It doesn’t make sense for you to knock.” Jungkook leaned onto your door frame and you looked up at him to see him smile a little. His confidence had grown suddenly as he stood very tall over your small frame.

“You’re right. Can you please leave for a moment. I need to get changed.” You coughed and Jungkook let you through. “Can I watch?” He said playfully and you slammed the door at him in response. You heard him chuckle through the door and your heart softened slightly from his childish comment.

It was well past 10 o’ clock and you were convinced that Jungkook was already fast asleep on the floor-mattress just a couple of metres from your bed. You asked him to sleep on your bed instead of the mattress but he refused to do so, so there you were; warmly wrapped up in blankets yet your mind refused to let you fall asleep.

All you could hear in the quiet room was the sound of Jungkook’s soft and even breathing that sounded tranquil to the ears mixed with the consistent muted sound of the clock ticking from outside the room. You let out a small sigh and felt a little frustrated that you were unable to fall asleep. You’d been trying to rest for the past hour but nothing seemed to work. Perhaps it was the fact that Jeon Jungkook was right next to you that you couldn’t relax.

You rolled over for what felt like the 100th time and closed your eyes in another attempt to fall asleep. After some more time and a couple more shuffles on the bed, your brain was starting to feel too tired to stay awake. Finally, your eyelids started to feel a little heavy.

You closed your lids and your mind started to drift in and out of consciousness. You heard a muted shuffle and suddenly, you felt a body stealthily slide under your blanket. Jungkook casually put the blanket over the both of you and inched closer to you as he cuddled you closely from behind. He proved that indeed 2 people could fit snugly on a single sized bed. The realisation set in and you were wide-awake at the point but you pretended to be fast asleep. You didn’t want to admit that you wanted him to stay close to you.

Jungkook’s body felt warm. He was the big spoon and had his warm chest pressed up against your back. Jungkook’s rested his head on your shoulder and you could feel his warm breath gently tickle your exposed neck. You mumbled softly at the comforting sensation and Jungkook could feel a chuckle bubble up inside of him. You then turned around slowly so you were directly facing him. You curled up closer into his chest and the scent of your hair seemed to push Jungkook’s buttons.

You could hear the rhythmic beat of Jungkook’s heart and you were practically screaming at yourself inside for how wrong this was but how right it felt dominated that. Jungkook shifted his arms slowly so that one arm casually pulled the two bodies closer and this action encouraged you to gently grip on his black cotton fabric of his t-shirt. He found that absolutely adorable and ran his hand through your hair, comforting you in a way that was beyond ineffable.

You simply inched closer to his him until your forehead was touching his toned chest. He continued to comb his fingers through your soft and sweet scented hair that drove him to the brink of insanity. But to be fair, his natural scent was the same for you- god he smelt like absolute heaven. Jungkook’s cheeks were getting tired from smiling since you’d cuddled up to him and he couldn’t refrain from kissing you.

He placed multiple delicate kisses on your head and forehead as he drew random patterns onto your back. Jungkook couldn’t describe in words how content he felt to have you in his arms once again. He felt as though he was taking advantage of your unconscious state but what he didn’t know was that you were awake the whole time. And you loved it equally as much as he did.

All you had to do now was, admit it.

Long awaited Part 12 is here!

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knifeshoeoreofight · 8 years ago

Note

would u be terribly against doin a quick lil sequel to either the prettiest thing (i've ever seen) or say my name? i'm the anon who came screamin at u at the beginning of the month, and tbh??? i'm still not over either of them

Nonny! The workweek from hell ate my life, but finally, here you are. I hope you like it. It’s a summertime timestamp for Say My Name, the first Sidgeno fic I ever wrote. Title is from “Bloom,” by the Paper Kites

oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness

Sid’s officially losing his mind.

It’s not like he hasn’t been through several rounds of university finals before, but this year he’s being driven especially crazy. His course load was heavy this semester, and while he appreciated being challenged by his professors, and while he loves his major, he’s just, so.

Fucking.

Exhausted.

Pittsburgh’s having a heat wave, and the hot, sticky weather clogs Sid’s lungs with humid air and makes him feel tired and drained all the time. Perversely, despite being Russian, Zhenya revels in weather like this. While Sid daydreams about snow and lies on the floor in front of the fan in a puddle of sweat and misery, Zhenya swans around in loudly colored tank tops, energized by the heat. It’s rude. Because Zhenya with sun-kissed skin in tank tops (ugh, shoulders and biceps and forearms and collarbones) is a temptation Sid does not have time for.

That’s the other thing making Sid miserable, besides the weather. He practically lives in the library or his dorm these days, buried by his work. As much as he wants to, he doesn’t have the time to see his boyfriend that much, and Sid misses Zhenya so much he aches. Zhenya has his own schedule of work and night classes, so they haven’t seen each other in person much lately. Sid doesn’t want to admit it, doesn’t want to seem clingy, but he’s completely miserable.

From the first moment he’d met Zhenya, that day in the cafe, Sid’s been so, so gone on him. And he know Zhenya feels the same way. Zhenya’s let him know in a thousand little ways— in funny texts and heated looks and whispers into Sid’s skin when they make love. And yeah, Sid’s going there. He’s calling it that, even if only to himself. It’s always felt like more to him, from the very first time Zhenya pressed Sid into his dorm room sheets, eyes wide and shining like Sid was the most wonderful thing he’d ever seen.

And Zhenya always touches Sid like he’s precious. He can be absolutely, brutally wrecking Sid and somehow still have his touch come across like he feels lucky. Like Sid’s the center of his world. Sid doesn’t know quite what to do with that. He tries his best, but he feels woefully inadequate sometimes. Zhenya’s entire, exuberant being telegraphs the way he feels about Sid. Sid’s always been a more reserved person. He has a harder time allowing himself to be open with how he feels. But for Zhenya, he tries. Tries to say “I love you,” “I’m crazy about you, and “you might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me” with his eyes, and his lips, and his body.

They haven’t said it in words yet, is the thing. Sid’s pretty sure of Zhenya’s feelings, but they’ve never said it out loud to each other.

And now, he’s sitting on the floor of his sweltering dorm room, surrounded by books and highlighted printouts, and he’s so sleep deprived and emptied out and lonely for Zhenya that he feels tears prick at his eyes. And the the sleep deprivation is also probably why he grabs his phone and sends Zhenya “i fucking miss u so much” before he can think better of it. He’s tried to be upbeat and chill whenever he talks to Zhenya. He pretends that not seeing him is fine, everything’s fine. But today? He just can’t, anymore.

He expects a prompt answer, Zhenya is a prolific texter and always responds to Sid’s texts with alacrity. But this time, the minutes tick by without a word, and it just makes the entire thing worse. Sid sets an alarm on his phone, shoves papers and books off of his bed, and curls up onto it to try and just black out for a little while. His eyes burn with exhausted tears, and he decides to let himself have this.

*** Sid is arguing with a flying squirrel. He somehow knows the squirrel is Flower, despite him being, well, a squirrel. He’s trying to convince Flower-the-squirrel to stop chewing through the netting of his goal. The goals, Sid argues, won’t count, and the entire rink is going to burst into flames, probably. Sid is very certain of this. Flower-the-squirrel doesn’t respond, and Sid would go to him but the ice has taken hold of his skates and he can’t move. Finally, Flower-the-squirrel looks up at him, little bits of nylon webbing falling from his paws.

“Sid?” says Flower-the-squirrel. “Sid?”

Why do you have a Russian accent, Sid wants to ask Flower-the-squirrel, but then—

“Sid?” and that’s Zhenya. Sid’s brain scrabbles back to consciousness. His gritty eyes creak open, and Zhenya’s leaning over him, face creased in concern.

Zhenya.

He’s here.

Sids pretty sure that he’s not dreaming anymore, but he can’t be sure, with how closely this resembles everything he’s been yearning for all day. All week. Zhenya’s all long, golden limbs and concerned brown eyes. Sid makes an inarticulate noise, and reaches for him. As usual, Zhenya feels like a furnace, but Sid wraps himself around him anyway. Buries his face in Zhenya’s neck, breathes in the scent of his sun-warm skin.

Zhenya makes a gentle shushing noise. “Is ok Sid, I’m here,” he croons, rocking Sid a little. “Bad day?” Sid just nods, tugging at Zhenya and maneuvering him onto the bed and arranging him to Sid’s liking. It’s hot, and gross, but Sid wants to be spooned, damn it. For like 10 seconds, until the warmth is too much. But definitely until then.

“Need to talk?” Zhenya asks him. Sid shakes his head.

“Just need you,” he says. Zhenya groans in response.

“One day you gonna kill me, Sid,” he says, and Sid feels a smile twitch at the corners of his own mouth. Probably the first time he’s smiled in two days. He takes one of Zhenya’s huge, beautiful hands and kisses the palm. Zhenya groans again, and rolls them over until he’s braced over Sid, looking down at him in that way of his. Like he wants to wreck Sid but also maybe marry him and have babies with him. Sid’s on board for all of it, he thinks to himself. As he reaches up to card his fingers through Zhenya’s tousled hair, he thinks about this month, how shitty it’s felt. How lonely he’s been. How lonely he was all the time, before he met Zhenya. He never wants to go back to that.

“Zhenya?” he finds himself saying softly.

“Yeah?”

“Missed you so much these last few weeks.”

“Exams gonna be over soon, Sid. I’m not go anywhere. Gonna be okay.” Zhenya rains reassuring kisses onto Sid face and hair and neck. For long minutes, Sid’s very, very distracted. But eventually, he remembers what he wants to say. He squirms until Zhenya lifts his head from the spectacular hickey he’s sucking into the soft skin below the hinge of Sid’s jaw.

“Zhenya?”

“Mm hm?”

“I love you. A lot. Kind of, a whole lot. ” Sid waits then, heart fluttering in his throat. Zhenya smiles at him, warm, and fond.

“Ya lyublyu tebya,” he responds, and Sid’s eyes widen. He’s heard that before. For months now. Crooned into his ear, called at him from the door, punctuated with kisses on lazy mornings.

“Wha-” but anything Sid was going to say is swallowed up by Zhenya kissing him, deep and claiming, until Sid’s almost senseless.

Maybe, Sid thinks hazily. Maybe it’s pretty perfect this way. His schoolwork is still spread all over the floor, his finals are still days away, and it’s still sweltering. But Zhenya loves him. Has loved him as long as Sid’s loved him.

And Sid’s perfectly, completely happy.

#Anonymous #sidgeno #sidney crosby/evgeni malkin #hockey rpf #dana writes a thing

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favekdramas · 8 years ago

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oblivion-and-all

Hi! Summer is here and the flowers have magnificently turned into mangoes. I live in India, and my final year graduation exams just ended yesterday. I took a vow to not watch KDramas till the end of exams (because just-one-episode can turn into a 16 hour long binge watch and man, I cannot stop.) So like every good student- I found a substitute. JDramas. xD Tell me about yourself. Where do you live, what are you currently watching?

Wow, summer already!? Sounds warm. :) India, cool! Whereabouts, if I may ask? And congrats on finishing your exams. Must be a great feeling.

I totally understand the binge watching phenomenon. It’s somehow always worse when I have actual things to do; when I’m bored, there’s nothing I want to watch, hahaha. My latest “oops” binge was/is Across the Ocean to See You.

Woo! Jdramas! It’s been a while for me, but I have a relatively long list of ones I want to watch. Which was your favorite so far?

I’m currently living in a small town in South Korea teaching English (my tag for those posts is #Lotte Teaches English). I’m currently watching AtOtSY, Mystery Queen, Perfect Wife, Strong Woman, variety shows, and Tunnel. Busy, busy.

Have a lovely summer~ (take pics of the mangoes!! hahaha)

minhyowon

Hi, I live in Canada. The weather here has been quite dreary. It rained everyday last week. Today it's cloudy/sunny. We always get a late spring so no flowers yet. My favorite drama one at the moment is Father is Strange. I'm also liking Queen of Mystery so far. My least favorite is the liar and his lover. It's problematic in many ways. I'll probably drop it. What about you? How's spring in Korea?

Canada! Awesome. Where in Canada? I totally understand the dreary weather; my hometown is like that all the time. I hope the flowers come soon! I’ve seen lots of posts about Father is Strange, and it looks good, I just need to be in the mood for a melo, it looks like. I agree, Queen of Mystery is very promising (except that shirt-grab at the end of ep 3...). I don’t even want to start Liar because the whole premise of a relationship built on a lie is not at all appealing to me, no matter how much I like the lead actor.

Spring in Korea is amazing. Cherry blossoms EVERYWHERE. I’ll post more pics soon. My town is one of the last to get the flowers, so at long last things are turning colorful again...BUT, we have the “yellow dust,” so the air pollution is shit right now. :(

Anyway, enjoy your dramas! Thanks for the reply!

lira21-universe

Hi!! I'm from Venezuela. The weather is completely crazy right now, one day is super hot then the next day is rainning and then hot again for days, until one day it's cloudy, but it doesn't rain.... crazy.... right now it's rainning.... anyway my favorite drama at the moment is Ms perfect and I just started Chicago typewriter (I liked the first episode) my least favorite is the liar and his lover but i'm still watching it anyway...how's Korea? the weather must be great!!

Hi! Ooh, Venezuela~ beautiful! Though that weather sounds super frustrating. Good luck...

Ms Perfect completely surpassed my expectations (tbh, I didn’t really have any going in, so I was pleasantly surprised). As I said above, I have no desire to start Liar...

As for the weather, again, it’s finally warm (ew, bugs), but the air quality is terrible. Wish my lungs luck...

Let me know how CT goes. I’m curious if it’ll live up to the hype. ^^

#long post #replies #kdrama #Korea #thanks for the messages!!#keep em coming #I love this!

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sapphicpedretti · 8 years ago

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Tag Game

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you finished tag 5 people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

I was tagged by @tagersgay - thank you lovely =o=

1: Are you named after someone? not that I know... my mother always wanted to name her first daughter Alexandra but I don’t really like it so I go with Lexa although after I’ve watched the loo and fell in love with Heda I’m honoured to have the same name

2: When was the last time you cried? probably about 2 or 3 months ago?? but you guys have to know that I cry fairly easy when I’m frustrated

3: Do you like your handwriting? yeah my handwriting now is probs the prettiest I’ve ever had

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? none I’m vegan

5: Do you have kids? nope

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? I think so..? I like to think of myself as a pretty friendly person

7: Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, if someone annoys me to no end

8: Do you still have your tonsils? yup

9: Would you bungee jump? totally... but I would start with not a very high jump and then maybe increase or maybe I’ll chicken out who knows

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? I don’t eat cereal anymore oops :p but I used to love the cinnamon ones I think they were called ‘cinnamon crunch’ or something

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yes because i’ve learned the hard way that it ruins my shoes if I don’t

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? physically: yea ; mentally: I’ve overcome my ED so I would say stronger than a year ago

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavour? oh geez.. I honestly take SO LONG picking a flavour but I guess my ultimate favorite is strawberry

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? Their smile or their laugh. God I’m so drawn to people’s laughs. (Trisha omg I’ll just use your answer because saaaame)

15: Red or pink? red cause my sister provided me with a life long disgust towards pink

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? umm probably my ability to bruise really fast honestly, it always looks much worse than it is and most of the time I don’t even know where the bruises come from :p

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? I’m wearing my pizza sweatpants ^^ and no shoes bc I literally just woke up

18: What was the last thing you ate? some frozen grapes

19: What are you listening to right now? first it was ‘Cherry Wine’ by Hozier but while I was typing this it changed to ‘Take a Bow’ by Greg Laswell

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? idk.. I like sooo many colours ugh maybe some kind of forest green??

21: Favorite smell? tbh all flowers hahhah

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my mum :)

23: Favorite sport to watch? ice skating and don’t tell me it’s nott a real sport!

24: Hair color? Dark blonde with occasional natural highlights

25: Eye color? brown with lighter specks of brown

26: Do you wear contacts? nope but I feel like I will need to wear glasses soon..

27: Favorite food to eat? it changes all the time... but right now it’s pumpkin-mango-chili soup (winter season duh) :p

28: Scary movies or comedy? probs scary movies even tho I do get scared but I still enjoy them hahhah ^^

29: Last movie you watched? do series count?? if yes, then the latest episode of ‘Sherlock’ the last movie was ‘Now You See Me 2′ with Dave Franco, Daniel Radcliffe, Morgan Freeman and Lizzy Caplan and like 1764298 other actors I forgot

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? white

31: Summer or winter? summer but not the summer in germany cuz it sucks

32: Hugs or kisses? B O T H

33: What book are you currently reading? CLEXA FANFICTION actual book..? eehh none at the moment xd (btw Trisha, insert Monica Gellers ‘I KNOW!!’)

34: Who do you miss right now? my best freind who lives a shit ton of kilometers away :’(

35: What is on your mouse pad? I don’t have one

36: What is the last TV program you watched? I’ve binge watched all episodes of ‘Sherlock’ with my mum instead of studying for todays exam oops

37: What is the best sound? the sound of my dog snoring aw

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? tbh both

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? from Germany to LA

40: Do you have a special talent? bump into every wall/door/surface possible?.. I would say that I’m pretty good at listening and providing advice even tho I have as much life experience as a 10 year old

41: Where were you born? Hanover, Germany

42: People you expect to participate in this survey? @marshnme @yeahclexa @cafeblossoms @dani-your-daddy but only if you want duh NO PRESSURE PEEPS

#me #tag #thank youuu #procrastinationqueen

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juliaahr · 4 years ago

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i need to rant abt my health & all the doctors i’ve encountered so far so this will probably be very very long bc i’m so frustrated & don’t know what to do anymore

i’ve been having chronic pains for years now. i’ve been to the er countless times bc i was so frustrated i ended up seeing a bunch of doctors for the same reasons & their first instinct is to send me to the er bc of a suspected stroke. it’s never a stroke. every time they did that i KNEW it wasn’t a stroke (am also a nurse btw lol but focused on geriatrics) anyways somehow i always hoped that at least ONE doctor would take the time to figure out wtf was wrong with me. i have headaches that basically knock me out. they thought it was migraines but every neurologist confirmed it’s not migraines - what else is it then? well none of them cared enough to figure it out. none of the “basic” pain medication works for me. none of the migraine medication works for me. so occasionally i will just lie in bed completely apathetic bc i’m in so much pain n i just have to wait till the pain just ... fades away. might take a few hours might take a whole week. all i know is it starts w/ a sharp pain in my left eye and then i KNOW i have to get home asap bc i won’t even be able to drive myself home once it gets worse.

so now i’ve been dealing w/ a new thing for MONTHS. granted, i only told my family doctor about 2 months ago. a sharp pain in my hip which will eventually drag down to my knee, sometimes my entire leg hurts. usually after a while the pain in my hip would get so bad i would struggle walking. i ignored it first bc it would only happen every other day but when i started to experience the pain every day & it would get worse each day too i was like lol maybe go see a doctor. 3 days ago i couldn’t even lift my leg to get into my fucking car after i walked for like 15 minutes bc i had to get groceries. so my doc prescribes me anti-infalmmatory meds without even doing blood work. okay so those didn’t work. i stayed home for a while. sometimes it helps when i just ..... dont move. so i didnt move for about .... 3 weeks except for walking around my flat and getting groceries. so i go back to work & am advised to go see an ortho. so i go see one. n he gives me a diagnosis right away after doing an x-ray so i’m kinda stoked about it. he says we need to get an mri too just to be sure and i also have to do physical therapy. so i get the mri done and get physical therapy - which didn’t help me at all. the mri comes back n they say uhhh yea so the diagnosis u got after the x-ray is ... false. u dont have that. BUT u have a different thing go see ur ob-gyn. i’m not mad abt getting an incorrect diagnosis first bc well those things happen.

i also had an accident at work on my first day back so i stayed home for another 2 weeks bc i wasnt allowed to work lol.

so i go see my ob-gyn and i love this guy bc he’s done surgery on me before and overall he is an amazing doctor and he’s everything you’d want in a doctor. so he confirms the diagnosis i got after the mri n he’s like yea this has gotten worse in 2 1/2 weeks (it took 2 1/2 weeks to get the mri test result and then the appointment at his office) so u have to undergo surgery but we can’t do outpatient surgery in this case so you’d have to go to a hospital. so TODAY. i had my hospital appointment to schedule surgery. and they do a physical exam again n tell me that basically the thing that had gotten worse before seems to be getting better on its own. which is overall a doog thing right? so they tell me i dont need surgery and i should just go back to see my ob-gyn and family doctor on a regular basis. and they’re like “so about the pain ... it shouldn’t be that bad anymore, how is it?” and i’m like “Well it’s been getting extremly bad over the past 3 weeks and i can barely walk for more than 5 minutes, even getting here from the parking lot was a struggle” and they’re like OKAY GOOD, WELL U DONT NEED SURGERY ANYMORE SO IT SHOULD BE GOOD NOW. and they ... SENT ME HOME???

and i’m so fucking frustrated????? i had a whole meltdown when i got home???? i was SO STOKED to have a diganosis & be able to get rid of the pain through surgery like i was holding onto that little bit of hope that it would get better after getting surgery and now i’m just sitting here. still in pain. not knowing what to do bc my family doctor doesn’t care at all and my ob-gyn obviously isn’t a magician who can just get rid of everything. also nobody seems to acknowledge in how much pain i actually am??? i’m like yea i take these pain meds but they don’t work at all and everyone’s just like “okay”.

at this point i genuinely don’t think i will be able to keep working as a nurse - which kinda sucks bc i might hate this job but it’s the only thing im good at. hell, i can’t even GO ON A WALK. i’m just stuck in my home whilst being in a shitload of pain for reasons that nobody wants to diagnose and i’m going to lose my fucking mind bc of it.

and i don’t expect anyone to read this i just needed to write this down to calm down tbh lol

#personal #lmaoooo who says german health care is actually good #very long pls ignore

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