#i even liked daniel & it takes me a lot to warm up to a william

[vanesawye]

we took skam austin for granted bc rewatching it recently as an adult it hit so close & i grew more attached to them than ever before especially shay we could've had a black lesbian isak she could've bern a stud

everyone complained about shitty acting but the acting was actually on par with the other versions (besides one actor)

i cried when it was over bc i'll never see shay find happiness in being a lesbian, grace & tyler connect about the assault, kelsey, jo, & zoya are gone forever, & megan is stuck with fuck ass marlon all bc of covid

[f0point5]

What's your silly season prediction? I have been thinking bc to me there's no way Carlos doesn't have a seat for next year.

So we know that Lewis/Charles are in ferrari and Mclaren have their drivers locked down.

I think mercedes is gonna take Checo. Why? first they don't have the car to be breaking others drivers contract, they need a midfield that can help George but still be good at getting points, I feel Checo is better in a top car but not the top car. They need someone who bring some marketing, they are gonna take a blow now that Lewis is gone but Checo have the North America audience and is probably the driver that brings more money beside Lewis. I don't feel Kimi is ready for a Mercedes seat yet, Checo is old enough to retire when he's ready.

That leaves the RBR seat free, the obvious choice would be Carlos, I was very on board with this till the whole Horner mess and realized how messy Jos is and still have some power within the team so I bet he won't let Carlos get that seat lol. My bet is on Fernando then, I know Markos don't want him but Horner will, no way Daniel is getting that seat sorry.

So then Carlos to AM with Lance, hopeful it gets better and he can fight for podiums at least, he really deserves a top seat.

Zhou stay with Sauber but Bottas is gone, I'm not sure they would take their academy driver so my bet is Nico, he's wanted by Audi so he's just getting in one year early.

Haas stay with Magnussen because they won't have two rookie but Ollie gets the other seat.

Yuki stay and Daniel is out, Liam get his seat.

Williams stay with Albon, the other seat I'm not sure... I feel Kimi should do another year in f2 but Toto may get cocky and get him the seat. If not they would get maybee Gasly, I feel he wants out of alpine and this is the best he can get.

Alpine stay the same if Gasly doesn't leave, if he is gone then they are getting one of their academy drivers maybe Jack.

I agree with a lot of what you’ve said.

However, based on how things stand now, i think RB will resign Perez. They don’t need any more damn upheaval and he is delivering right now, as well as not making a nuisance of himself.

I think a lot of this hinges on Kimi and how he does in f2 and how much testing they are able to get him. But lets say he ends up needing another year in f2.

I think Alonso to Merc, and Carlos to AM. Alonso is not happy with the performance of the car, even Krack said it, he doesn’t want to drive in 10th. Toto likes a proven entity and Alonso is certainly that. But the other thing about Alonso, he’s old. He’ll take a one year contract because he doesn’t know how long he wants to do this, and Toto doesn’t have years to be offering, because he has to keep the seat warm for Kimi. You could say Carlos is ideal for Merc because there’s only one year until Audi comes in, but i have a sixth sense that Carlos would either want to bed down at Merc, or not go there at all. So I see Alonso to Merc on a one year contract, and Sainz to AM to hedge his bets on staying there if Daddy Warbucks manages to produce a good car, or switching to Audi if it’s the trenches.

On RBR, I don’t think anyone over there wants to add the sainzs to the list of obnoxious families involved in whatever is going on over there. And I don’t think they want to be playing games with Alonso either. They want to let Max do what Max does with minimal interruptions and as fun as Fernando is I don’t think his antics would be washing over there. I think Horner has lost too much pull over there to be making waves. He’s survived the assassination attempt but at the cost of realising he is ALONE in that garage. I don’t think he’ll be willing to stir up any animosity from Jos or Helmut by trying to bring back Daniel. And with Daniel’s performance he has no leg to stand on.

Yuki is a lock until 2026 which means Daniel is out and Liam is in (I think Liam has already signed).

Agree that Bearman and KMag will be the lineup for Haas.

Would love to see a whole new lineup for Sauber, but unlikely. I think they’re just as likely to stick with Zhou and Bottas as to get rid of them, because I think Audi will want a totally new lineup In 2026 anyway. I’m not sure what the pipeline is like for Sauber if Ferrari academy drivers go to Haas. Would not be surprised at all if it was Nico, I’d like to see him stay on the grid. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was Daniel, as an Audi audition and for the marketing.

I think Alex has one more year on the contract at Williams so he’s locked in. Sargeant definitely gone. I don’t know who else is in the Williams academy so can’t say who will get the seat. I am very skeptical about Kimi getting it. I think it will take James Vowles having NO other option before he takes on a Mercedes’ junior. I don’t think it’s unlikely that Kimi will go straight to Merc in 2026 (or 2025 honestly. They could use it as a test year for him if they are just giving up on the current regs). But yeah I see another rookie at Williams. Unless they get a hint that Alex is leaving…in which case they’ll be scrambling for someone with experience but idk who they will find. I don’t think they’ll take Gasly with that attitude of his.

I see alpine sticking with the baguettes. Maybe they dump Pierre but that’s a big maybe because the heck else are they going to get? Doohan doesn’t seem like he’d do a better job and their car is so bad a rookie might not even be able to keep it out of the wall. If they don’t improve the car, I see them sticking with the current lineup.

So yeah I mostly agree. But I’m just SO excited to see a couple of rookies on the grid, and Liam too.

[cobraonthecob]

just remembered that i haven't posted my merc 2nd seat predictions so here they go, i made them before fernando signed to stay with aston martin btw

REMEMBER. this is all for fun and for merc to deal with. some will be funny, others serious

SERIOUS PREDICTIONS: 1. carlos: easy swap, also, i'd scramble to grab carlos. he has a good brain under that pretty hair and why not. swapsies!

2. fernando: harder to get, as he has said that he'll consider going to merc if aston is a flop this year and merc is stronger this year. as we all know, he is choosing a stable future...hopefully.

3. alex: even harder, as he'll want to be the number 1 driver nurturing williams into a top-contending team. something drastic would have to happen to make alex consider moving

UNLIKELY, BUT POSSIBLE

antonelli: IF he makes top three in F2 and a lot of persuasion, but i feel like merc will try and persuade williams to take him on and take on another, more experienced driver. or merc will just put this kid fresh out of school in merc itself.

esteban: if alpine remains at the bottom of the standings and pierre is dominating, then i can see esteban trying to say 'hey merc, take me, i'll be a second player, idc, just get me out of here'. i doubt it though, considering his history of not getting along with his teammates and i think he and george would kill each other in a way that'll give toto a giant headache

I WOULD BE SURPRISED 1. mick: we love blonde nepo babies, don't we? IF mick is to return to the grid, i can see him getting strong-armed to williams and pulling alex to merc, or merc says 'fuck it, let schumi junior warm the seat for the next coming of max verstappen', then that's a possibility. his second year at haas (aka when the car was in a place to score points) showed that he can score good points, but he wasn't very consistent. he really should've gotten a third year to finally prove his skill, but alas. kmag and nico have way more experience. realistically speaking, he's going to have a hard time coming back to the grid unless he pulled a daniel and gets a P2 time or better in a merc in a tyre test. now, mick's job as reserve and i think he also helped develop the car means that he could be pulled to williams if that's an option, but i don't think mick to merc or williams is a possibility

2. logan: if he can score points this season and alex is not willing to play second and seat warmer at merc, i feel like logan would take it. currently, the way the season's going? if i were logan, i'd start looking to formula e, f1 has nothing for me going on if i can't turn the car in a corner without it attempting to fling itself into a wall

3. valtteri: idk if he'd be willing to gamble on being the better driver when merc has been slowly putting their eggs into the george basket. also why would he go back there. used to be in SILLY but now moved here since hulkenberg has taken a seat at sauber, though a driver of his caliber would be able to easily beat hulkenberg

SILLY 1. sebastian: he retired to be a girl dad, but then deciding 'fuck it, i'll pull a fernando' would have me laugh for a grand total of two seconds before i'm like 'no'. we have plenty of older drivers and no new fresh talent on the grid already, like keep your promise and be with your family

2. rosberg: why would he do this. he retired to be a father and he's happy doing other things. f1 is NOT the end all be all. let him be happy running an ice cream shop with his wife and an extreme e team

3. nyck: what i'd give to be a fly on the wall for that phone call. i can see it. toto calls nyck. nyck picks up. toto is begging on his knees. nyck smiles. 'you left me out of a williams seat for so long that i went for alphatauri. now i'm happy in formula e and wec. thanks, but no thank you. good-bye.'

4. yuki: after all the disrespect alphatauri/vcarb has put him through, he can go to merc and claw his way there. or maybe not. idk how i'd feel about yuki playing second driver to another white man

5. pierre: given alpine being a flop, i wouldn't be surprised if he showed up to the merc/williams auditions. i can see him going to williams to replace alex should alex move to merc, or pierre going to merc, but i don't know he's WANT to be a second driver at merc or williams despite the fact that maybe i do want a pierre-alex lineup. ex teammates of max verstappen let's fucking goooo

6. daniel: after all the smoke and mirrors and the reason why nyck's therapist can afford their kid's motorsport career, daniel makes a move to merc. this prediction is so impossible (merc and daniel wouldn't even consider it for different reasons) but thinking about it made me laugh

[dolliesrot]

Yeah, even at their best the public is exhausting. And honestly how often are they at their best? :/ You're in the service industry too, right? I don't know much about art but I figure if you keep looking at the world, trying things, and having fun with it that's what it's about.

You could tell I was hoping you'd ask what movies, right?

Sunday

Dracula (The Dirty Old Man) (1969, William Edwards) Pretty repugnant, but it was amusing how they saw their movie was shit and then MST3Ked themselves recording the voiceover narration.

Devil Story (1986, Bernard Launois) I was deliberately trying to pick "fever dream" stuff and this qualified. Devil horses are hard to shoot.

Monday

Calamity of Snakes (1982, Chi Chang) Kind of a dud. I watched the "cruelty free" version, which doesn't show snakes being killed on camera but supposes that they don't mind being sprayed with fire extinguishers. Captures Taiwan (?) at a truly unfortunate moment for fashion. Morbid curiosity was not rewarded.

Viy (1967, Konstantin Ershov & Georgiy Kropachyov) Banger! Magic and witches and state-of-the-art Soviet special effects courtesy of Aleksandr Ptushko.

A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973, Jesus Franco) Rewatch, but I previously had only seen the Wizard VHS version with the alternate clothed takes and the added terrible slow motion zombie scenes. Much better in this version.

Conquest (1983, Lucio Fulci) Vivid in its gruesome derivative patchwork brutality, in spite of looking like it was shot through cheesecloth.

Tuesday

Kuroneko (1968, Kaneto Shindō) Awesome. Spooky and atmospheric and features a kitty.

The Empire Strikes Back Uncut (2012, Casey Pugh) Warm and cuddly fun starring multiple dogs as Chewbacca.

Wednesday

Blonde Ambition (1980, John and Lem Amero) Easily the most charming and effervescent porno I've ever seen. Also deserving of praise that isn't so faint as to be backhanded!

The Cassandra Cat (1963, Vojtěch Jasný) Pretty terrific and beautiful fable. The cat had little wee glasses!

Lord of Illusions (1995, Clive Barker) Enjoyed the LA scenery and stage magic milieu. Unexpectedly terrifying turn from George's boss Mr. Kruger from Seinfeld. (Daniel von Bargen RIP)

Torture Dungeon (1969, Andy Milligan) What can one say about an Andy Milligan movie?

Thursday

The Boogey Man (1980, Ulli Lommel) I was unprepared for how great this was. A slasher ghost story about how childhood trauma follows you through life. John Carradine, couples therapist. I wept. Watch this one, Anna!

Shogun Assassin (1980, Kenji Misumi and Robert Houston) Finally got to hear all the skits from Liquid Swordz in their proper context!

Friday

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988, RJ Kizer & Donald G. Jackson) Total male fantasy about how hot it would be if Sandahl Bergman wore glasses and had a bomb she could use to blow up your cock whenever she so chose.

The Night of the Hunter (1955, Charles Laughton) Rewatch. Classic. Needs no introduction. It is so good!

The Night of the Hunted (1980, Jean Rollin) Eerily quiet time capsule of a particular era of Parisian architecture. Also weirdly prefigures Memento, but with more nudity.

Perversion Story (1969, Lucio Fulci) Total male fantasy about how hot it would be if Marisa Mell did anything, in this case send you to the gas chamber by framing you for her murder. Really amazing time capsule footage of San Francisco, too. And there's a photographer character, those are always fun.

Oh and I watched a bunch of old Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies in there, too.

Yay The Fly! I've never seen The Hunt. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you watched the one Mads Mikkelsen is in. :D Am I right?

Hope you're feeling better soon! Enjoy that time away from work.

Oh wowowow you managed to get through a lot! I have a hard time multitasking, which makes it hard to watch movies and paint :,c wish it wasn't either or, but god scrambled me that way so whatyyagonnado. DUDE I watched Night of the Hunter for the first time like two months ago and am pretty pissed off that I haven't watched it sooner! I wish the song about the pretty fly and the spider was on spotify 🕸️Also!! Thank you! You totally gave me some bangers I need to put on my list! (Probably gonna try and get to Viy, A Virgin Among the Living Dead, and The Boogey Man first!).

Also,,,, I think i'd bang him </3 religious psychosis and murderous nature be damned mans got a way with werds.

[doomh3ad]

About

hi!! u can call me imelda, chrissie, chelsea or mel, i have extreme slasher brainrot (specifically doomhead from rob zombie's 31 <3)

requests are closed! and also feel free to submit any questions or thirsts, even if requests are closed! i'm totally fine with any nicknames or pet names, i love ppl being friendly with me <3

i'll write poly relationships (as long as no one is related) and crossover poly relationships with reader too! i also take platonic requests.

[non-writing posts will be tagged 'imelda shut up' & asks as 'imelda's asks']

characters i'll write for include but are not limited to:

•Michael Myers (OG + 2018 Halloween)

•Corey Cunningham, Allyson Nelson (Halloween Ends)

•Art the Clown, Tara Heyes, Dawn Sissy, Sienna Shaw (Terrifier 1&2)

•Yautja (Predator)

•Otis, Baby, Foxy Coltrane, Captain Spaulding (Firefly Trilogy)

•Doomhead (31)

•Any Ghostface minus Charlie or Mrs Loomis, Sidney, Gale, Randy, Sam & Tara Carpenter (Scream franchise)

•Pinhead (both og + 2022 versions), Kirsty Cotton (Hellraiser)

•Candyman/Daniel (Candyman)

•Gabriel May (Malignant)

•Arkin O'Brien, Asa Emory/The Collector (The Collector)

•Greta, Brahms Heelshire (The Boy)

•Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

•Amanda Young, Mark Hoffman, John Kramer, Daniel Rigg, Jill Tuck, Adam, Lawrence, Peter Strahm, Logan Nelson, William Schenk (Saw franchise, Spiral)

•Julian Lambrick (Would You Rather)

•Ellen Ripley (Alien)

•Pennywise, Patrick Hockstetter (IT 2017+2019)

•Bo, Vincent & Lester Sinclair (House of Wax)

•Ash Williams (Evil Dead)

•Kurt Kunkle (Spree)

•Thomas Hewitt (TCM)

•Rick Grimes, Negan Smith, Daryl Dixon, Maggie Rhee, Glenn Rhee, (TWD)

•Ian McKinley (Final Destination 3)

•Rusty Nail (Joyride)

•Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

•R (Warm Bodies)

•Michael Langdon (AHS)

•Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, Daniel Espinoza, Mazikeen/Maze (Lucifer)

•Jerome Valeska, Ed Nygma (Gotham)

•Sebastian Castellanos, Joseph Oda, Juli Kidman, Ruvik Victoriano (The Evil Within)

•Leon Kennedy [RE2/RE4/RE6] Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, Luis Serra, Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliveira, Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield [RE5], Sheva Alomar (Resident Evil)

•Kara, Connor, Markus (Detroit Become Human)

•Trickster (Dead by Daylight)

i'll also write for some ships ! these include (but i'll likely do any i know that you ask for!)

-Greta & Brahms

-Vincent, Lester or Bo & Carly

-Ben Miller & Zoey Davis (Escape Room)

-Chloe & Lucifer/Deckerstar (Lucifer)

Rules

i won't write : incest, pedophilia, rape, suicide etc. i will write yandere, dark fics & most kinks, just ask if you're not sure! i will write both dominant and submissive readers, just specify. i'll write headcanons, drabbles, full fics & series!

if you don't specify in a request, reader will be gender-neutral, but i will do other genders if you ask! i won't write about pregnancy or mentions of children, sorry.

it's ok to spam requests! i am only one person with a fairly busy life so requests may take up to about a week to be answered at most, usually, i appreciate the patience <3

pls don't request the exact same specific scenario word for word you've sent to other writers.

while i'm aware that i can't stop under 18s from reading or requesting, i would prefer if you didn't dm without your age in your bio or anywhere else that's visible!

commissions info

-commissions will begin once i've finished my cycle of regular requests, around mid-july hopefully!

-still working on reasonable pricing, always open to feedback! currently, i'm thinking around £5 for 1k words, £10 for 2k etc. for anything 3k+ it'd be £15-20. if you'd like a lot of long headcanons instead of a fic they'd be around £5 too i think!

Masterlist (part 1)

Masterlist (part 2)

Kinktober 2022 masterlist

Coming soon (current requests!)

[borom1r]

I'm also having a terrible day, whaddaya know! Your posts have a way of making me feel better, so could we get some thots on Amanda + her relationships?

Also: how would your fursona (of your choice) react to being put in a saw trap (assuming they survived)?

aww dude wtf;;;; yea im totally down for discussin Mandy HCs!!! sorry yr havin a shit day too gfhh

UGGHF I don’t have serious Mandy meta in me cuz it makes me Sad but i also just. don’t talk abt the Mandy/Laura/Pamela/Lynn polycule that lives in my head alongside the Fuck-Off Big SAW Polycule???

which I think starts post SAW II w/ Laura, bc i like to think that would be the catalyst for Amanda going “actually, Jigsaw is bullshit” (Laura dying/in this case almost dying in her arms, Xavier throwing her into a pit of dirty syringes when Nothing Is Up To Chance, JOHN ENDANGERING AN INNOCENT CHILD— A CHILD THAT AMANDA DEVELOPS A LEGITIMATE BOND WITH?????????) and I think expands to include Lynn after Laura encourages Amanda to reach out to Adam to help her move past some of that guilt she’d been carrying re: the bathroom.

touching on Adam&Amanda in this situation, i do think it’s a bit of a shock to Amanda how easily he forgives her but like especially after she tells him about the nerve gas house + what woke her up to John’s bullshit it’s like. Yeah of course he forgives her. It’s even more of a shock to her w/ Daniel but like. she was traumatized and used and neither of them blame her for that, especially not after she shows she’s changed. (EDIT: i got caught up playing MK11 and i need u guys to picture Adam and Amanda playing MK3 on his old playstation. you know theyd both love the fatalities but Amanda is actually good at pulling them off)

OOHGJK FURTHER SIDETRACKING to say in general i rlly appreciate the Amanda&Lawrence friendship whether disciples or not, but i think Diana would LOVE Mandy. she warms up to Amanda quicker than w/ some bc Daniel is obviously very close with Amanda, n it helps to know that Mandy is Big Bro Approved— where m going with this is once everyone’s kind of settled into this giant-ass mess of a found family Diana ABSOLUTELY calls her “Aunt Mandy” to her face and Amanda fucking-

anyways back on track: I think in this scenario she meets Lynn through Lawrence bc now neither of them are there to help John with his bullshit so she winds up left out of Jeff’s trial — i think quite honestly BECAUSE she and Amanda (and Laura) are at least close friends by that point. it would be an incredibly bold fucking move to kidnap her when the slowly growing squad of torture victims who would do Anything for each other now includes a member who knows where you live. Watch Out, Bitch (John).

and while I think Amanda n Laura develop relatively quickly into a romantic relationship, it takes Lynn longer (especially since it’s not Just Amanda) but eventually she does get there. and its what Lynn deserves, to be loved so much n so fully.. oof.

Pamela is the last addition (funnily enough coinciding w/ William joining the Big Main Polycule (William Easton, My Beloved)) and I think she comes out of things a lot more shaken than she likes to let on— almost watching your brother get melted with fucking acid will do that. it’s smthn i plan to touch on in my text game that i swear to god i AM still working on, just slowly, but i think becoming friends w/ Pamela is something very cathartic for Mandy. not only bc she is just so much more blunt than Laura or even Lynn and can give Mandy the kind of rude wake-up she needs to snap out of her self-deprecation, but bc this is probably the first time Mandy’s had a close friend (+ soon to be girlfriend!) who is Also a trans lesbian.

Mandy specifically is nonbinary (she uses she/her + it/its due to trauma; based off my own experiences n reasons for using it/its pronouns, wahoo) while Pamela is a trans woman, but I do think it’s very healing for Mandy to be around someone who can recognize her struggles + her perspective, and may not perfectly understand but still can more so than someone cis (not that Laura and Lynn don’t make the effort, just that it’s different). especially because I think coming out is not something she ever felt safe to do with John and speaking with Pamela kind of solidifies her reasoning. in that William’s traps were so heavily focused on the destruction of his body because he’s trans and it’s a body he built, and oh, god, wonder what that would’ve meant for her. would her gender be a sign she wasn’t appreciating her life properly? any potential desire to transition yet another sign of mortal sin?

it’s an easy spiral to go down but one Pamela is very quick to drag her out of. because no, no matter what some old fuck with a god complex says, Amanda living her best, happiest life should not result in the death penalty and Pamela will absolutely gut him if he tries to come near Mandy. she definitely says this in front of Laura at least once + Laura just looks up from painting her nails like “me too! ☺️” with the cheeriest smile. nobody knows what she was in jail for and honestly even Mandy is a little worried to find out. Laura is the sweetest person she knows + she has no doubt Laura would tear the world apart to protect all three of them. it’s a little frightening in an extremely good way.

———

AYO. BFBSJFHSH funny u ask bc Adz is literally based off Adam n Lawrence mashed together (n his boyfriend, Sen, is based off Eric + Strahm) so like!!

i will take th opportunity to dish abt his non-proto form bc it’s a species i might actually develop a lil? hehe;; (what little i have ironed out now is tht their meat/blood/fleshy bits like inside their mouth + to a certain extent their bones + teeth are bioluminescent + they navigate via echolocation. they’ve got hedgehog-like spines thru their fur which raise when they’re threatened (not unlike a dog’s hackles). they get a lot of sensory information thru their mouths but where most examples wld just lick stuff if they knew it was safe/smell w/ their mouths open for extra information, Adz will just str8 up bite things no hesitation) — where I’m Finally goin w this is that in this form, rather than combat like his normal Protogen version, this Adz lost his leg to poachers (think fucked up futuristic bear traps). so like, not entirely unlike a SAW trap

i think depending on the trap Adz wld either do REALLY well or really shit. bc he has little to no regard for his own safety (he essentially clawed his own leg off) so like, if he was by himself in a Venus fly trap scenario I think he could definitely do something like cut out his own tongue. but I don’t think he’d be able to directly hurt someone like Amanda did— he may be able to pull through in the end like Lawrence did if it’s not hands on, but up close and personal? no. and he definitely couldn’t compete. if he was up against other people he’d just back down and let them win; at least, before meeting Sen. his self-worth improves after he and Sen begin their friendship, so if he had someone to get back home to he’d be a cut-throat little monster.

as far as the aftermath, I don’t think it’d really bother him tbqh. he’s extremely good at compartmentalization, but his paranoia would absolutely get worse + I can imagine him breaking down alone. just not in front of Sen (if he’s in the picture)

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 11

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mentions of violence, gun mentioning

A/N: i watched endings, begginings again solely because of the scene we get a close up of seb making out with shailene and that scene will forever make me want him in unholy ways. hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

    - What? - Y/N stared at him, not because she hadn’t heard what he had said but because her brain seemed to have stopped mid synapse. She wondered if this was the hopeless romantic in her mixed with the lack of sleep that were making her hear things. But no. That confirmation came to her through his actions as he stepped close enough to her she could feel his breathe on her cheekbone. His hand cradled her face, looking at her with the uttermost adoration, almost like a scene straight off Springtime by Pierre-Auguste Cot. 

   - I’m here, nothing and no one can harm you. I don’t think you understand the things I would do for you. - he traced her bottom lip with his calloused thumb causing her small hairs to raise up as a shiver rolled down her spine. 

   - I ... You shouldn’t. - she was too immobile to even try and step back, but in all honesty, even if her nerves weren’t stopping her from moving, she herself would’ve stopped herself from moving. It felt nice. - You make me very nervous, Mr. Stan.

She took a step forward, hearing the shift of the gravel as her sock covered feet moved so her toes touched the point of his shoes. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do but there was an overwhelming need to be close to him. As so, she stretched her arms to him, wrapping them around his neck and burying her head in his pyjama shirt. It was a very baggy shirt with the logo of Regis High School. She guessed it had probably been his during his high school years and the little holes and slight thin patches of fabric spread across the tee contributed to that guess of hers. Sebastian sighed at this motion, his hand coming to rest upon the small of her back while his lips pressed against the crown of her head, slightly inhaling the faint scent of her lavender shampoo.

They remained in that same position as the bird slowly awaked as the very first sun rays broke through the night sky, the sounds of nature making them both forget they had just escaped a crossfire. They continued in that embrace until his phone loudly rang from the backseat where he had thrown it before. 

With much regret, he broke the embrace, hand taking slightly longer to her waist as he grabbed his phone, angrily answering it. Y/N just stood there, hand hoovering over his like someone who really wanted to hold his hand but was too shy to do so. Of course she was to shy to do so, this was her friend’s future husband. The same future husband who she would have to kiss and some day give a child to and here she was fully considering the idea of entering some sort of Anna/Vronsky relationship minus the opium and suicide.

   - I’ll be there in a few. - his words as the phone beeped off took her off her thought pattern.

   - Is everything alright? - she questioned, worry laced into her sleepy sounding voice. It was 4 AM after all, Y/N guessed that all in all, she’d probably gotten about an hour or two of sleep. 

   - Yeah. - he sighed, rubbing the side of his neck out of tiredness. - We need to go. 

   - Where are we going? - what was she doing? she asked herself as she noticed she was already sat in the shotgun seat without getting an answer. Was she that enamoured that she would get in the car without any response? Maybe, yet he did let this particular sight of safety. 

  - Airport.

She watched as his eyes were kept on the brightening road. Y/N didn’t know exactly what to say, all she knew exactly was that he made her feel warm and nervous but not in the way that being next to a mob boss. You should fear contact with one not crave one. 

Things were rather silent until the crash of noise from the airport made her look at something rather than the side of his face, watching as various airplanes landed a bit closer than she’d ever seen them land. He just drove as if a plane couldn’t misdirect or mislead and hit them, he drove with that sort of confidence that made you want to throw your arms in the air in great Taylor Swift music video fashion. He drove with the confidence she wished she had. 

The car slowly yet surely came to halt and as she turned her face to the window she could see the airplane from a few days before. She guessed they were going home for safety and despite her love for Paris, right now she wanted to go somewhere familiar. 

   - Gwen’s already inside. - he put his hand on the glove compartment, picking the music box and handing it to her. - Make sure you don’t lose this one too.

   - Are you not coming? - she noticed his hand was still very much gripping the wheel of the car. 

   - After this, I think I have some matters that need resolving. 

   - Why won’t you come with us? Surely it is Mr. Williams’ job to look over the Paris affairs. 

   - He’s very useless, angel. If I leave him to do anything, I’ll have to fly back and fix it. Besides, I’m sending him to New York for a bit after his disastrous deal.

   - Oh ... - she cradled the music box closer to her chest. - Are you gonna be alright?

   - Are you worried about me, angel? - he smirked at her, immediately causing her cheeks to heat up. - I will be just fine, you need only worry about Gwen.

   - That’s not what I meant. - Y/N faintly smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek which took Sebastian off guard. It was so sweet and so young that half the rage he had accumulated towards whoever shot at his hotel. She just stared at her lap, lightly tracing the golden details of the box. - I don’t exactly want to go to your funeral.

   - I think I’ll be fine, angel. 

He is a mob boss, he will be fine. One does not become notorious by being easy to wound or easy to kill. Nevertheless, so had been the man who raised her and Gwen and he had still gotten a pretty bad wound shot every once in a while. No one is invisible. Achilles had his heel and Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus all had a lot more and they were all heroes who were eventually defeated. Dynasties fall and Y/N had seen it plenty of times.

She opened the door of the car, her sock covered feet reminding her that she was about to walk into a private jet in her pyjamas and socks. Gwen surely had thrown her into some wild situations yet none seemed to quite match up to this one. 

Closing the door behind her, she walked to the stairs that led to the door of the plane, turning around to briefly wave at Sebastian before he took off. Maybe it was best they were separated for a bit, maybe it was just a little crush that would vanish with a bit of time. What she wasn’t expecting was to walk into Gwen having her neck peppered and sucked by one of the bodyguards, Christian. 

    - Morning, Y/N. - she pushed the man away, giving her an enthusiastic smile as Y/N sat in the leathered seat in front of her. - Where have you been? Elias said Sebastian took you during the crossfire.

    - Yeah, are you okay? Sebastian said you were, I’m really sorry I didn’t come to find you.

    -  You two are sure buddying up. - she opened one of the magazines that were on the stand as the plane prepared to take off. 

    -  Oh, it’s not that. - she bite her lip looking at her feet.

    - Of course it is. You better not tell him about any of the boys or Christian, the last thing I need is to have someone dead because my fiancée is jealous. 

    - I’ve told you I’ll never tell on you besides he’s not jealous, he’s just worried about you. 

   - Well ... - she smirked, lowering the magazine. - He does employ some very fine men, specially at the art of bedding.

   - See, this is why your dad didn’t want you to watch Sex and the City when you were younger. - Y/N laughed, remembering when a teenage Gwen would sneak in at night along with her to watch Sex and the City reruns on the TV which would constantly annoy Mr. Forrest. 

   - You can’t be such a prude, you must have someone on your radar. Seriously, has there never been a guy who made you want to take a cold shower just from looking at him?

   - Guys don’t tend to look at me Gwen, they look at you. 

   - Bullshit. I could just bet you have someone and you’re just not telling me. 

Y/N just laughed it off, leaning against her pillows and the sleep finally won her over, throwing her for a nice slumber. She was awoken by the faint sound of rain hitting glass and as she slowly opened her eyes, she came to see the airport of what she called home for now. 

Rather quickly and wearing one of the bodyguards jacket in order to not look like a public threat to society in her pyjamas and socks, both her and Gwen were hushed into the limo which drove them back to their penthouse. The building looked darker and the weather was even darker. She prepared to go inside the bed and sleep more, despite having slept for 9 hours on the plane from Paris to NY. 

   - You look terrible. - Y/N heard a familiar voice as the lift doors opened. A big smile stretched on her face as she saw Dan standing there. - Are you even wearing any shoes?

  - You’re here! - she jumped into his arms, wrapping hers around his neck before stepping away for a bit. - I wasn’t expecting you to be here this soon.

  - After the crossfire, I decided to spend some time with you and Gwen at least until Mr. Stan returns

  - Oh great. - Gwen rolled her eyes. - Another babysitter. 

  - It’s good to see you too, Gwen. - he turned his gaze back to Y/N. - You look unharmed. Survived your first crossfire

  - Yeah, it’s been a crazy few days. Enough about me, did you bring Sophie? 

  - No, she’s staying at her mum’s for a while but we can go and visit I’m sure she’ll love to see you. 

  - Just set the date. 

  - So ... - Daniel took a seat on the living room’s coach while Gwen returned to her room, Christian in her foot. Y/N guessed she would be better sat by Dan’s side than in her room where she would possibly hear sounds of things she didn’t really feel like hearing right now. - I heard from Gwen that Sebastian was the one who took you during the crossfire. 

  - Yeah, his room was closer to mine ... - it wasn’t, it was as further from hers as it was from Gwen’s but she didn’t exactly felt like telling Dan that she had kissed his sister’s fiancé. - He’s not as bad as you think, Dan. 

  - You always try and see the good in people, Y/N. It is remarkable but please be careful. Seriously, there are things in this whole world that you are not used to. 

  - I’m not exactly clueless, Dan. He hasn’t been rude to me, he’s treated me as well as he treats Gwen. Besides until he mistreats any of us, I refuse to have such a deep dislike for him. 

  - Y/N, c’mon. I know you don’t get to see it but his kill count? It’s high even when compared to my dad and grandfather’s count all together. You step out of the line, you get erased. 

  - That’s not true. Mr. Williams stepped out the line in France and he’s still not dead.

  - Mr. Williams? When have you even met Thompson Williams?

  - At Gwen’s engagement party. What I mean is, I’m safe here, Dan. I would love if you stopped treating me like I’m the most clueless thing ever.

  - But you are clueless, Y/N. We’ve sheltered you and Gwen for most of it, you don’t ...

  - Oh ... - Y/N interrupted, getting up. - Since I’m that clueless, I think our conversation is over.

  - Y/N, don’t take it personally. 

  - I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, Daniel.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom @cevans98 @thelostallycat @sideeffectsofyou @anxiousdreamersworld​ @sarge-barnes-sir​

[puckinghell]

The Plus One Pact | William Nylander | Part 5

Summary: Your ex is getting married, and you don’t have a date, which means the unavoidable “why don’t you have a boyfriend” question is about to haunt you for the rest of eternity. But then there’s Will, who could be the answer to all your problems. A simple business pact, no feelings involved: that won’t be hard for you, because you really don’t like him anyways. Except pacts were made to be broken… or something. Right?

Note: This is part 5. Click here for part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

--

When you wake up, there’s something heavy draped across your chest, and everything around you is warm.

It takes a few minutes, for everything to get back, and until you can fully open your eyes. You didn’t bother taking off your mascara – were a little preoccupied – and you’re paying for that, now.

You don’t regret anything from last night, though.

Finally, you shift so you can look beside you. You’re laying on your back and Willy is pulled up against your side, lips resting against the naked skin of your shoulder. His arm is across your body, effectively pinning you to the mattrass, as if he subconsiously tried to stop you from leaving.

He doesn’t have to worry about that.

He looks peaceful, his blond hair spread across the pillow, his eyelashes fluttered shut against his cheekbones. The rise and fall of his chest is steady with every breath he takes.

Last night comes back in flashes; lips pressed against your collarbone, your fingers curling in his hair. Your heels kicked out in the hallway, his back bumping into the wall. Cursing, laughter. His hands all over your body, with just the right amount of pressure. The way he looked like he’d never seen anything so beautiful before. The way he’d blushed when you told him that you hadn’t, either.

The question, when it was silent and dark in the room, just the sound of catching breaths.

“Stay?”

Willy’s immediate answer, unwavering and steady. “Always.”

Your alarm clock tells you it’s past 9 am, now, but you know neither of you have anything important today, so you’re more than content to press your nose against Willy’s scalp. It smells nice; familiar. He hums in response, but you don’t think he’s awake, not really.

Then, your phone buzzes.

At first, you think about ignoring it. It’s only 9am, after all, and there’s nothing that you can think of being that important. It’s probably just Zach, asking if you got home safe.

God, you’re gonna have to tell Zach what happened. He’s gonna be so smug about it; you’ll never hear the end of it.

But then your phone buzzes again, and again, and you think about Noah’s wedding. It could be your sister again, bothering you about it, or maybe your parents. Besides, the buzzing is making Willy stir, and you really don’t want to wake him up.

He’s been looking tired, the season running him down, and you’re not taking away any sleep that he could potentially get.

You carefully unwrap Willy’s arm from around you, which earns you another not-really-awake hum, this time one that sounds a little annoyed, and manage to grab your phone from your nightstand.

The words on your screen almost seem fake, but once you read them properly, you kinda feel like the room is spinning.

3 missed calls, and a text. 

From: Noah Daniels

I’m outside your apartment, can you let me in?

What in the actual fricking heavens...

With surprising clarity, your brain immediately realizes that you have two options now. You can go let him in, and talk to literally the last person on earth you wanna talk to, or you can not let him in, and risk your entire family screaming at you.

Besides, you’re supposed to be at this guy’s wedding in two days. So maybe only one option, then.

Your heart is beating way too fast, but you very slowly start the task of getting yourself out of bed without waking Will. It’s hard, to leave him there, and the thought flashes through your mind what would happen if he woke up, but he looks pretty knocked out so you decide not to worry about that.

You’ve got enough to worry about.

You throw on the first clothes you can find and try to make as little noise as you can while getting out the bedroom. Will stirs a few times, but his breathing remains even.

You really hadn’t wanted the first time you saw your ex to be like this, looking like a drowned panda wearing old sweatpants and – is that Will’s shirt, you grabbed?

But you guess you’ve learned nothing ever goes the way you want it to, with Noah.

When you open your front door, you almost expect him not to be there. Surely he was kidding, or sent that text to the wrong phone number, or it was a dare.

But no. He’s there, standing with his hands in his pockets and a hint of a smile on his face. He looks the same as he did back then, which throws you a little.

“Hi, Y/N,” he says, his voice soft. “I hope it’s not inconvenient, I was just in the neighborhood.”

“Uhm,” you bring out. It’s really inconvenient, but for some reason, the words can’t pass your lips.

“Can I come in? I wanted to talk about something, I guess.”

Great, now your nerves are truly flying at an all time high. Wordlessly, you step aside, and he takes the invitation for what it is and moves through your living room like he owns it, sitting on the couch without being asked. He doesn’t take off his shoes. It unnerves you, which is stupid, because Will doesn’t take off his shoes, either, and that hasn’t bothered you.

“You look…” Noah starts, pauses. Then settles on: “Different.”

“So do you,” you say, which is a lie, but you don’t really know what else to say. You could offer him coffee, but you find yourself not wanting to, so you cross your arms and stay standing in the middle of the living room.

“What did you wanna talk about, Noah?”

Noah sighs. “Straight into it. You never had a lot of time for small talk.”

You’re not sure if it’s meant to sound offensive, but it does. Maybe everything he says sounds offensive to you, now.

How did you ever love this guy?

“Well, as you wish.” Noah’s hands are folded in his lap. The engagement ring is shiny on his finger. “I’m getting married in two days, and you’ll be at the wedding. So I just wanted to make sure there weren’t any problems.”

Something in your brain short circuits. “Problems?”

Noah sighs again. It reminds you of the way your mom used to sigh when you were a little kid and you wouldn’t put on your shoes fast enough.

“Obviously things didn’t end great between us…”

Yeah, because you cheated. You don’t say it.

“And your sister told me you had some reservations about coming.”

That bitch.

“So I just wanted to make sure you weren’t, like, still in love with me.” He says it as if the thought amuses him. But he doesn’t look like he’s joking, and a storm is brewing in your mind. “Cause I know our relationship meant a little more to you than to me, and for that, I do apologize. But I don’t think it would’ve ever gone anywhere, anyway, you know? What we had was more of like, a summer fling.”

It’s like there’s wind whistling in your ear, but there’s no windows open in your apartment.

“A summer fling?” you repeat, a little dumbfoundedly. “We were together for four years.”

“A very long summer?” Noah offers, and you can tell by the smirk on his face he thinks he’s truly being funny.

“You cheated on me.” It’s the first time, you think, you’ve ever said those words to him, but you can’t keep them in now.

Noah’s face falls. “Hardly,” he says. “I just knew immediately that Betty was the one for me. I had to act on that, you understand that, right? I told you right after.”

Still counts as cheating. You don’t say that, either. Instead, you say: “You begged me to take you back.”

“That’s not how I remember it.”

You want to laugh. How else could he remember that night?

He stood on your porch in the darkness and said: “Look, I know it was stupid, but I’m young, and I don’t know anything about anything. I just know I miss you. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you, and I just want to make it up to you.”

You said: “Go fuck yourself”, slammed the door in his face and cried yourself to sleep for the next four months.

It’s not worth it, though, and it hits you how much you’ve changed. Because there was a time when you wouldn’t have had the strength to send him away, where this would’ve made you feel something. Frustration, sadness, anger. Hope, even.

It doesn’t, now. There’s not even the dull ache of being the one that was cheated on. There’s just indifference.

It feels like closure. 

“Look, Noah,” you say, “it doesn’t really matter. There’s not gonna be any problems at your wedding, okay? I’m just there because my mom wants me to be. I’ll keep quiet.” You smile, and you’re sure it looks fake but Noah doesn’t seem to notice.

“Okay,” he says. “If you say so, I believe you.” He stands up, clearly ready to go now that his worries have been soothed, then walks to the door and you watch as his hand lands on the doorknob. At the last moment, he turns around.

“I knew you understood, back then,” he says. The smile on his face is a little too sharp and pointed to be genuine. “You’re just not really the kinda girl guys end up marrying, you know?”

You’re still staring at him with your mouth open when the front door slams behind him.

Suddenly, you hear a different voice.

“Nice guy, that.”

You turn around to find Willy leaning in the doorway to your bedroom, fully clothed now. His arms are crossed and he’s frowning.

“You invite him over?”

“What?” Now you’re frowning, too. “What the fuck, Will, of course I didn’t. He just showed up.”

An unwelcome feeling is starting to creep up your spine, tingling through your skin like the most unpleasant current.

What if Noah is right?

What if this isn’t anything special to Will, what if he’s just passing the time until something better comes along? You’ve never seen him pick up many girls but looking like that, surely he does, and you think of his cocky attitude that bothered you so much before you really knew him, think of the way he was used to everyone loving him.

What if you’re just a conquest to him, to show himself that he can still get people to love him? What if you didn’t get to know the real him, but simply walked straight into his trap?

What if none of this is real and he’s going to go run off to someone else, because you’re just not that kinda girl.

“Do you think he’s right?” you blurt out, before thinking it through.

You really should’ve thought it through.

“Do you think I’m not the kinda girl guys end up marrying?”

Will’s eyes widen, and you see his hands clench where they’re wrapped around himself. Something clicks in his jaw. 

“Are you fucking serious?” he says, and he sounds upset. And angry. Really, really angry. “You really think I would be here if I did?”

You don’t answer. No, you don’t really think that. You think Will is better than that. But something inside of you is gnawing at your conscious, because if someone had asked you that question last month, you would’ve absolutely thought that.

“You do,” Will says, and he sounds like he almost can’t believe it. “You think I’m that kinda guy, still. You said you got to know me, but you still think I would be here and have sex with you and tell you all those things I told you if I didn’t mean them.”

When he says it like that, it sounds stupid, and doubt is starting to rise in your chest.

“No, Will, I didn’t mean it like…”

“But you did.” Will pushes himself away from the doorway, stalks towards his shoes and shoves his feet in. Instantly, you start to panic.

He’s leaving.

“Will, come on…”

“No.” Willy looks up, and there’s nothing but pure hurt in his eyes. It cuts like a knife, because you put that there, and you never wanted to be the reason for his hurt. 

 “You know what the funny thing is, Y/N? I’ve never thought anything bad of you. I liked you as soon as Zach introduced us. I thought we could be friends. But you were always so… judgmental, and you always rolled your eyes at me so I figured I shouldn’t bother, and that hurt, because I liked you even when you didn’t like me. And now you’re accusing me of thinking something so awful of you, when I only ever though the best, and when all you’ve ever done is think the worst of me.” 

He’s grabbing his jacket as he talks, stalks towards the door and you know there’s nothing you can do or say to stop him, not when you’ve hurt him like this.

Willy stops at the door, like Noah did. But he’s not smiling, no sharp amusement in his eyes. Only pain. Only sorrow.

“I always liked you, and you always disliked me. For no reason at all. And now, after everything, you still don’t like me, and the worst thing is, I still like you.”

The door falls quietly into the lock behind him, nothing like the way it slammed behind Noah - everything around you shatters, anyway.

--

He’s not coming you text Zach.

Zach is currently at a restaurant with his entire family in law, but he still answers right away. He’s truly been your rock, the past few days, even if he did also tell you how stupid you’ve been.

You already knew that, though.

He promised, didn’t he? He’ll come.

He won’t, though, and you can’t even blame him for it. If you were Willy, you wouldn’t come to the wedding either.

You’re standing in front of the church. Your family already spotted you, tried to get you to come inside with them, but you couldn’t. Not when there was still the slightest chance, when you still had the tiniest sliver of hope that he would be there.

“I’m just waiting for someone,” you had said, and your sister had given you a look of pity.

You kinda wanted to bite her head off, except you really didn’t have the energy anymore.

The ceremony is about to begin. If Will doesn’t show up, like, right now, he’s not coming.

He’s not coming.

Against everything you knew, you’d still hoped.

Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice.

“Y/N?”

Your eyes widen as you swirl around, but it really is who you thought you heard, her hair curled and wearing the most beautiful sundress. “Ellie? What are you doing here?”

Ellie laughs. “Your sister invited me. Said you could use some friendly faces in the crowd.” She frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be inside? I thought I was running really late.”

“You are.” You sigh, and suddenly you feel like you could cry. You haven’t really cried, yet, refused to cry over Will when what you had was so new and uncertain. It’s not like you got dumped, for crying out loud.

If you’re never together, you can’t get dumped. So why does it feel exactly like that, then?

“Hey, what’s going on? You don’t look so good.” Ellie looks genuinely worried and that nearly pushes you over the edge; you let yourself sit down on the steps before the church.

The street is empty. The ceremony is starting, and he isn’t here. 

Ellie takes her seat next to you and waits patiently for you to talk. You want to, you need someone to talk to who doesn’t know Willy like Zach does, who might not judge you the way you’re sure Zach had – although he’d hidden it well, being too good a friend to be angry with you. 

It’s just hard to get the words out, is all.

“Remember Will?” you ask. Ellie smiles at the memory.

“The hot guy you brought to the last wedding we were at? That spent the entire evening shooting heart eyes at you while you ignored him? Yes, I remember.”

The guy who did what now?

I’ve liked you since Zach introduced us.

Fuck.

“Yeah, well.” You sigh. “I kinda fucked that one up.”

And so you tell her everything.

You tell her about the pressure of being single while Noah got married, how much you hate your family asking you those questions with pity in their eyes. About how Will promised to be your plus one if you were his; about the pact you made, the only rule that that was all it was.

You tell her you didn’t like Will, at first, but that’s because you didn’t understand him, and maybe, selfishly, because you knew how much you would like him, if you tried to understand him, and you were too scared to get hurt.

About how that happened, anyway; he wiggled his way into your heart with witty remarks and honest eyes, shy glances and the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

About how finally, you gave in to the desire to kiss him. About how it had been magical, until Noah showed up.

How, just momentarily, you’d doubted him, because Noah’s words rang harshly in your ears and you don’t think the scars he left fully healed, no matter how many stars Will had drawn around them.

About how he immediately crawled back into his shell.

“I don’t think it’s so easy for him to let people in,” you tell her. “And he let me in and I immediately broke his trust.”

Ellie shrugs. “You were scared and hurt and you lashed out. It wasn’t a good decision, but if he likes you as much as he says he does, it won’t be the end of everything. You’ve gotta talk to him.”

“I know.” You stare at the stone of the curb in front of you. The sun makes it look strangely bright; it’s a beautiful day for a wedding. “I was scared to do that, too.”

“Yeah, but, sometimes scary things are worth it.” Ellie is looking at you, clearly trying to find something there. “Honestly, the way you’re talking about him? It sounds like he might be worth it.”

“It doesn’t matter, now.” The look on Ellie’s face tells you you sound exactly as pathetic as you think you do. “He’s not here, so he clearly wants nothing to do with me. Zach said he’d come, you know, because he promised and apparently he never breaks a promise.” You laugh, a little humorlessly. “I can’t even blame him for that, after what I said to him. But I didn’t mean it, El.”

“I know,” Ellie says softly. “But he doesn’t know that, Y/N. I’m not the person you need to be telling that to.”  

You sigh. Maybe you should, but you can’t, not right now, and you don’t think it would really matter anyway. 

“We should go inside, probably.”

“Yeah.” Ellie helps you up and tightly wraps her arm around your waist, like a crutch for you to lean on, and starts to lead you inside. One more time, you look behind you onto the empty street.

But there’s nobody there, so you enter the church.

He’s not coming, anyway. 

[radiojamming]

Can you tell us anything more about John Hartnell's time on the Voltage?

Hell yeah, I can! I have some pictures from the log books I can post later, too. I legit sat for H O U R S reading tiny handwriting from the master’s logs. Most of the logs were lists of chores, punishments, notes on the weather, and any major events. John’s time on the Volage can be divided pretty neatly in half, between the ship’s North American tour, and its Irish Sea patrol, all between 1841-45. 

The North American part was probably pretty exciting for him, considering that he’d been a shoemaker since he was thirteen years old. Compared to what his brother had been up to on the Volage (the Aden Expedition, Battle of Chuenpi, etc.), it focused less on military ventures and more on transportation and patrol. The first major thing it did was in December of 1841, when it accompanied the HMS Warspite and HMS Thalia in taking the King of Prussia, Frederick William IV to England to attend the christening of the Prince of Wales. After that, it scurried over to Plymouth to get new fittings, and then took off for the Caribbean. 

A lot happened in the Caribbean, and reading through the log books (always written in very non-emotional language, but still entertaining) paints a very eclectic picture of their activities. The Volage went to Jamaica first, awaiting orders until they were ordered to go to Saint Martha to pick up... $800,000 in gold. Legit, that sat on the Volage for two months until they dropped it off in Port Royal. By then, half the crew was incredibly ill with a mix of diseases including what might have been dysentery. Amazingly, for all of John’s terrible luck, he doesn’t appear on the sick list, even as one of the lieutenant’s eventually died as well as the clerk. 

They scurried back and forth across the Caribbean from January of 1842 until they departed for Halifax, Nova Scotia later that summer. (Land of @theiceandbones!) In all honesty, the Volage didn’t get up to much during it’s time in Halifax. They didn’t necessarily have a mission, but it does make for some really entertaining reading! There was a lot of shore leave, for instance. Here are some of the notes I wrote on my read-through between the Caribbean and Halifax (which is from ADM 54/312):

Mondays and Fridays are mandatory clothes-washing days.

8th of July 1842 - “Punished Michael Logan with 48 [!] lashes for Disobedience of Orders and Insolence”

12th of July 1842, 6pm - “Committed to the deep the Body of Samuel Marvin (AB) Deceased.” / “Departed this life William Baillie (boy) - Buried at sea on the 13th.”

18th of July 1842, 10:50 pm - “Heard the report of several Guns from the North” [in Halifax]

20th of July 1842 - Halifax Citadel visit and the burial of Robert Webb (boy), Samuel Gibbon, John Barnes, and Samuel Brummage (carpenter’s mate) on shore

Godden reports that several warm nights, sailors were permitted to use their hammocks and sleep on the beach! (I put a smiley face next to my note here!)

Most of their Halifax mooring was spent cleaning. Lots of repainting, holystoning, repairing, etc.

Multiple��discharges for “uselessness” and “disgrace”. 

The latter note is really interesting, considering that none other than Charles Dickens visited Halifax that same year, and made note of sailors making total idiots out of themselves on oysters and champagne. Indeed, there are plenty of punishments recorded for that summer for drunkenness, insubordination, and desertion, again sometimes up to 48 lashes. (I’ll post a picture of the log just to confirm that.) On a high note, John Hartnell wasn’t punished once! And believe me, I looked!

They did have to have some repair work done to fix a leak in October before scurrying back down south with the “Squadron”. Godden makes some pretty boring notes about looking at the United States coast (as in essentially saying, “Yep, there it is!”) before they hang tight to the coast of Mexico. 

The Volage appears to have been outfitted for doing survey work, which is part of what they did for the next few months. Between that, mooring for absolutely nothing, and hanging out with slave ship hunters (I like to think they high-fived the HMS Racer at some point) their zig-zag order of ports of call are:

Barbados > Puerto Rico > Grenada > St. Vincent > Jamaica > St. Lucie > Antigua > Jamaica (long-term Port Royal mooring) > Haiti 

By early 1843, the Volage was headed back home. They docked in Plymouth for a time before getting their next orders for the Admiralty for the apparently much-maligned Irish Sea duty. At this point, Captain William Dickson had a temporary replacement for the deceased Lt. Davey, but eventually, that lieutenant had to leave as well. Captain Dickson did get a note from the Admiralty that he was to get his replacement at the Cove of Cork, and according to the sudden burst of tiny handwriting at the bottom of the page on Tuesday, August 29th, 1843, Captain Dickson totally forgot about that. Literally, the note for the day is kind of falling off the page from squeezing it in, but reads: “Read the Commission of Lieut J Irving”.

Because Lieutenant John Irving hopped on board as a new replacement, thus using those sweet, sweet letters of his to describe the next few months. He was absolutely meticulous about dating his letters, and having them on hand in his memoir made it easy to line up with Godden’s notes in the master’s log, confirming everything between the two of them. This time, Irish patrol got kind of exciting.

First, here’s Irving talking about joining the Volage, saying much nicer things about Capt. Dickson considering the captain was probably going, “Oh shit right I forgot we were doing this.”

“To my great joy I found the ‘Volage’ at anchor here. I was afraid she might have gone somewhere else. I went on board direct from the steamer, and was introduced to Sir William Dickson, the Captain; rigged myself in a blue coat and a pair of epaulettes; the hands were turned up, and the Captain read my commission appointing me lieutenant of the ship to the ship’s company. There are three of us. I am the second in seniority. Our mess consists of seven--viz., three lieutenants, one master, surgeon, a lieutenant of marines. They are all very good fellows. I was three years messmate of one of them in a former ship, so am comfortable in that respect.”

Irving noted that the officers were frequently invited to parties in Cork (”I could be at parties every day if I liked;”), and Godden does say that the rest of the crew were given shore leave fairly frequently, even though they didn’t have enough officers to allow them to leave as often. 

For the next four months, the Volage remained at Cork, doing patrol with several other man-of-war’s. On land, there were frequent clashes between the Protestants and the Catholics, but more importantly, there were the Repealers following Daniel O’Connell’s urging to repeal the Acts of the Union and re-establish the independent Kingdom of Ireland. Between Irving and Godden, the image of this time from the perspective of the Volage is one of a lot of bloody rumors and high tension (a Protestant curate was killed, houses were being burned down). However, O’Connell’s followers were very civil to the sailors and actually invited some of the Volage officers to visit their homes. Irving called their hospitality “quite Highland”. 

The Volage was temporarily relieved of its patrol in December, and returned to Plymouth by January of 1844 for refitting and repair work after shearing off part of her keel. Godden and Irving both noted that sailors and officers were boarded on a hulk, or a non-sailing ship. Godden also noted that several sailors were permitted leave to go visiting nearby. (John Hartnell did have family in Plymouth, and Thomas Hartnell may have been visiting the area at the same time, if a pet theory of mine holds up.) 

They were back in the Cove of Cork by February, with the Volage now as the flagship. During a period between February and June, the Volage frequently made trips between Cork and the town of Bantry, after further pro-Repealer agitation began to raise tensions once more. Godden’s log doesn’t say much on the subject aside from weather reports and notes on officers leaving the ship to attend parties, major gatherings in town (there’s a really interesting bit from Irving on scaring the bejeezus out of a group of paraders and stealing the Waterford city flag), and switching out officers. However, the tensions once again didn’t amount to much more than far-off reports of violence and a few observations of pissed-off “pisantry”. The Volage did return to Plymouth for Christmas before returning for a short turn in Cork, and then being paid off completely. The log for that topic shows that John Hartnell was paid off on February 1st, 1845.

As far as what life would have been like for John Hartnell on the Volage, it’s hard to say for sure since, once again, Godden’s logs are impersonal. However, he was responsible for recording all punishments, injuries, illnesses, and deaths, of which there was no lack. He also kept meticulous note of what chores were to be done on particular days, as well as drills. I noticed there was a lot of repetition in the chore schedule, and there was a slight uptick in sailors suddenly taking ill with “unknown” illnesses about two and a half years in, especially on days that had chores requiring a little more elbow grease.

But I think, as I said, this would have been very exciting for someone like John. After all, he voluntarily signed up for the Erebus four months after signing off on the Volage. Unfortunately, we don’t have any letters to or from him that might hint to how he felt during this time, so we have to take it from his actions rather than his words. I like to think he enjoyed himself.

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Prologue

Read the fic here!

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads 'Masked Omens'.

Image 2 - A scrapbook with two newspaper cuttings pasted in. Each has a date handwritten by it; the first reads ‘Tadfield Gazette, 24th July 2009′. The second reads ‘Toffley Courier, 10th August, 2009′. Full text transcription below cut. End ID.]

Tadfield Gazette, 24th July 2009

HIDDEN GEM: O’LEARY’S LATEST STUNS CRITICS Masterful casting highlights themes of innocence and fear against a background of domestic drama. [”What do you care, David? Maybe I’d rather he dream of monsters than wake alone, like me.” ~ Jane Winsome, Act 2, Scene 3] RUMOURS OF Colleen O’Leary’s retirement have been greatly exaggerated. While it’s true that in recent years her name has been conspicuously absent from the glossy playbills and bright posters of the West End, the Dublin-born playwright still has plenty to say. Her latest offering, Hidden, is on the surface a simple domestic drama about an upper middle class family with a young son. It follows their trials and tribulations through a single fraught year as ten year old Matthew (played by the talented young team of Warlock Dowling, Gert Johnson and Adam Young in rotation) questions his relationship with his parents, his nightmares, and ultimately the world around him. Anita Lovett is both adoring and adorable in her role as Matthew's mother Jane, while Oscar Williams fulfils the role of a baffled, slightly distant father as David Winsome. The cast is rounded out by Anthony Crowley, making a return to acting in the role of Ashton Storeth, Matthew's babysitter. What might have been a fairly pedestrian premise – a child becomes unsettled as his parents fail to find time for him – is elevated to new and sinister levels by Crowley's double role as both minder and monster; Matthew is plagued by nightmares of a dark creature that dwells beneath his bed, a creature that seems to have a lot in common with the mysterious Storeth. As Matthew's nightmares increase in both frequency and severity, strange events unfolding in the household lead the audience to question just how much of what they're seeing on stage is real. The script seems to demand introspection of its audience; how much can we ever really know about the world we live in or the people we invite into our homes, even trusting them with our most precious treasures, our children? And yet, ultimately, Storeth and the Nightmare have more meaningful interactions with young Matthew than either of his parents. It's a thought-provoking piece with an ending that must be seen and not spoiled. All in all, a triumphant return to the stage for both O'Leary and Crowley, who seem to have come determined to prove themselves and done so admirably. Hidden is now booking until September 30th this year; for venue information and to book tickets, visit www.hiddenuktour.com.

Lots Donated To Charity Fundraiser WITH PREPARATIONS well underway for the Anna and Eve Foundation’s upcoming auction, it seems there are still more celebrities prepared to offer up their most prized possessions for a good cause. The latest announcement of items going under the hammer includes: The upright piano played in the drawing room scene in The Grasswater Affair, kindly donated by Celestireel A flaming sword used in the original magic act of The Amazing Mr Fell, as seen on last year's Royal Variety Performance, with personal instruction in its use from the magician himself A signed drumskin and drumsticks used by Queen drummer, Roger Taylor A Nike Total 90 Omni football signed by every member of this year’s league-topping Tadfield FC squad The stunning faux-diamond necklace worn by Angela Crowley in the 2003 film More than a Memory, contributed by Pace Productions (newspaper cuts off here)

An advert for the Four Horse Inn is also cut off at the bottom of the cutting.

Toffley Courier, 10th August 2009

Toffley Gate Protests Planned [Uriel Scrolle, Reporter] When Lawrence Richmond was elected as MP for Toffley South, it was partly on the strength of his campaign promise to invest in building affordable housing for local people. Sure enough, within a year of his election, his flagship development had been completed. Having opened its doors in 2006, Toffley Gate is a towering edifice of concrete and glass, boasting over 300 individual homes, most of which are luxury apartments – but many of them still stand empty. Now local housing campaigners are calling for lower rents to be imposed on these unoccupied units in a bid to open them up to local people who cannot afford the current rates. (Continued below.) [Image: A large, modern block of flats in yellowed black-and-white newsprint. End ID.] [Caption] The Toffley Gate development, pictured shortly after completion. Local housing activists say the affordable housing they were promised has never been provided. Photo: Daniel Brubaker on Unsplash. [End caption.]

Local Theatre Reports Record Sales for O'Leary's 'Hidden' Masterpiece: Former 'Kilcridhe' star steals show with moving performance [Citron Deux-Cheval, Arts Critic] Greater Deville’s Inferion Theatre has long struggled to fill seats as the rise of commuting in the town has left residents with far les [sic] time and money to spend on the town’s recreational offerings. It relies, therefore, on the continued patronage of those who are able to attend regularly, and on the rare piece of theatre that causes its audiences to insist friends and family go along and watch, too. This week, it reported its highest ticket sales for a single show in over ten years for the Saturday night showing of Hidden, a new play from veteran playwright Colleen O’Leary. Naturally, I had to go along and see what all the fuss was about, and I was glad I did. Hidden is a deep, dark exploration of the psyche masquarading [sic] as a simple drama about two unhappily married parents and their neglected child. While the story of David and Jane Winsome (Oscar Williams and Anita Lovett respectively) and their strained marriage is compelling, with painful betrayals and soft, poignant moments aplenty, it’s their son Matthew who steals the show, along with his au pair, Ashton Storeth, played to perfection by Anthony Crowley (once a familiar face on our television screens as heart-throb Father Jacob MacCleod in Kilcridhe). On the night I attended, Matthew Winsome was portrayed by eleven year-old Gert Johnson, one of three children who take turns in the role. For such a young boy to take on such a complex role is a very tall order, but Johnson more than rose to the challenge, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the mix of fear and adoration with which Matthew regards Ashton. In scenes with his mother and father, Matthew is quiet and respectful, almost withdrwan - but opposite Crowley, who plays the double roles of Ashton and The Nightmare, he becomes expressive and unspoken, loud in his anger, his fear and, yes, his love. Crowley, too, gives an incredible double-edged performance as warm, gentle Ashton and the silent, sinister presence that lurks beneath his charge’s bed - perhaps drawing on his own inner demons to lend authenticity to the role. Hidden is a play that leaves much open to interpretation: whether The Nightmare is real or imagined, what, if anything, it has to do with Ashton, and what the surprising ending means for the family. It’s a play to get you thinking, and I highly recommend you go along. Hidden is playing at the Infernion until August 15th. Contact the Box Office on 01632 496055 to book.

[happyweddingblogs]

150 Best Engagement Quotes By Famous Personalities and Celebrities

Source: Happy Wedding App

You might need engagement quotes to beautify your Facebook and Insta posts; here, I am sharing with you 150+ timeless Engagement quotes given by famous personalities and celebrities. Take a look……

“Control leads to compliance; autonomy leads to engagement.” ― Daniel H. Pink.

“I have an engagement ring, which is my favorite accessory.” — Jules Asner.

“I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all you’re yet to be.” — Unknown.

“When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.” ― P.G. Wodehouse.

“I couldn’t have dreamed you into existence because I didn’t even know I needed you. You must have been sent to me.” ― Kamand Kojouri.

“…learning always occurs in a context of taking action, and they value engagement and experience as the most effective strategies for deep learning.” ― Richard DuFour.

To speak frankly, I am not in favor of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.” ― Oscar Wilde.

“I married a man who was as much a part of me as my own soul.” ― C.J. English.

“Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.” — William Penn

“Marriage is not kick-boxing, it’s salsa dancing.” ― Amit Kalantri.

“There are many blanks left in the weeks of courtship, which a loving faith fills with happy assurance.” ― George Eliot.

“It is wrong to think of marriage as hyped bondage. You can marry and still be happy. Everything rests on who you are married to. Marriage is a beautiful thing.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson.

“Student engagement is a product of motivation and active learning. It is a product rather than a sum because it will not occur if either element is missing.” ― Elizabeth F. Barkley.

“And try not to make a habit of getting engaged in the first place, Vivie. It can lead to marriage if you’re not careful.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert.

“Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.” — Unknown.

“The success of love is in the loving; it is not in the result of loving.” – Mother Teresa.

“Give a man the finger; he’ll put a wedding ring on it!” ― Ljupka Cvetanova.

“My acronym for full-on engagement: ROAR, Return on Attendee Relevance” ― Andrea Driessen

“The highest happiness on earth is marriage.” — William Lyon Phelps.

“They had exchanged vows and tokens, sealed their rich compact, solemnized, so far as breathed words and murmured sounds and lighted eyes and clasped hands could do it, their agreement to belong only, and to belong tremendously, to each other.” ― Henry James.

“Love is not in the ring. Love is in the heart.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson.

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” — Nora Ephron.

“You Need To Gauge, To Engage.” ― Syed Sharukh

“Doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.” — William Shakespeare.

Related:  List of ideas for your Engagement party

“When you found someone you really loved, everything fitted.” ― Melissa Hill.

“It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—they get to know each other better.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

“I’ve found someone who refuses to let me be anything but myself.” ― Hayley Paige.

“We start a relationship with someone not only because of how great they are but how great they make us feel. And because they have granted us this extraordinary gift—a chance to experience Love, joy, compassion, and security —it is our exclusive privilege to make them feel wonderful about themselves, especially during days when they, themselves, don’t feel so wonderful.” ― Kamand Kojouri.

“Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always.” — Dante Alighieri.

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it Love—true Love.” — Robert Fulghum.

“Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” — Zig Ziglar.

“I won’t give my heart to another girl until God shows me it’s my wife.” ― Eric Ludy

“The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is provided by every family member living in the house until they die.” ― Heather Chapple.

“Engagement can be a commitment to love or a declaration of war. One must enter every battle without hesitation, willing to fully engage the enemy until death does you apart.” ― Emily Thorne.

“My forever.” ― Unknown

“To keep the fire burning brightly, there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart—about a finger’s breadth—for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.” — Marnie Reed Crowel

“Once you’ve found the right person, you just know.” ― Sophie Turner.

“A perfect couple shares their failures, mistakes and their successes equally and deals with them all as a team.” ― Ricardo Derose.

“How could I say no?” ― Unknown.

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” — Barnett R. Brickner.

“Calm down, it isn’t a ring,” I laughed, and he pushed the box across the table to me, and I blushed and opened it.” ― Mercy Cortez.

“We’re engaged to be engaged, aren’t we?” ― E.D. Baker

“You don’t marry someone you can live with-you marry the person you cannot live without.” — Unknown.

“Marriage is not the beginning of the journey, nor the end – it is the journey.” ― Carew Papritz.

“He’s just the best person I’ve ever met in my whole life.” ― Jennifer Lawrence.

“His proposal was dedicated to his love for me and the future he wanted to build together.” ― Rachel Lindsay.

“My Constant.” ― Unknown

“He got down on one knee, and he’s like, ‘I forgot everything I’m supposed to say, but you’re my best friend.'” ― Hilary Duff.

“It was so sweet.” ― Hilary Duff.

Also See: 110 Most Romantic Wedding Couple Quotes

“Well, he is the best man I’ve ever met. He’s just everything to me.” ― Unknown.

“Here’s to a lifetime of friendship, purpose & unconditional love.” ― Bindi Irwin.

“I asked my best friend a question… and he said yes.” ― Unknown.

“We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called Love.” — Gene Perret.

“Wherever you are, is my home, my only home.” — Jane Eyre.

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” — Simone Signoret

“She said yes. Locking it down.” ― Alex Rodriguez.

“When he asked, I could not say NO.” ― Unknown.

“Engagement marks the end of a whirlwind romance and beginning of an eternal love story.” — Unknown.

“True love stories never have endings.” — Richard Bach.

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” — Robert Browning.

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” — Franklin P. Jones.

“The countdown begins.” ― Unknown.

“We are not perfect; we learn from our mistakes. And as long as it takes, I will prove my Love to you.”— Sara Bareilles.

“It’s time to make things official.” ― Unknown.

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” — Helen Keller.

“Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.” ― Unknown.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; But it is the journey that matters, in the end.” — Ernest Hemingway.

“Every day is an engagement day for us.” ― Unknown.

“The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret.” — Henny Youngman.

“25 days to go.” ― Unknown.

“I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul.” —Charles Dickens.

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes.

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” — Maya Angelou.

“You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” – Arthur Conan Doyle.

“And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I’d choose you.” —Kiersten White.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” — Aristotle.

“Love one another, and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” — Micheal Leunig.

“It’s not your perfectness that I fell in Love with. It was your flaws that brought me in.” — Unknown.

“All commands from your lips are sweet, I say, and now have you not said the sweetest of all? Marry you!” — Byron Caldwell Smith.

“My whole heart for my whole life.” — French Proverb

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” — Emily Bronte.

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein.

“A marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat; if one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it; otherwise they will go to the bottom together.” — David Reuben.

“And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I’d choose you.” — Kiersten White.

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham.

Related: 65+ Beautiful Wedding Album Quotes

“Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each includes the other, each is enriched by the other.” — Felix Adler.

“It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—they get to know each other better.” — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.

“Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost.” — Milan Kundera.

“The disgusting way an engagement is regarded public property; all these older women smirking…but my point is their whole attitude is wrong— an engagement, horrid word in the first place, is a private affair and should be regarded as such.” — Daniel Day-Lewis.

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” — Katharine Hepburn.

“It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

“We may have started as individuals, but now we are as one.” — Bryon Pulsifer.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” – A.A. Milne.

“Today, engagement parties still allow both families to meet each other if they haven’t done so before. Even if both sets of parents have met, it’s nice for siblings and other extended relatives to meet and mingle, so they are all acquainted with one another before the wedding.” — Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer.

“They say that marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” — Clint Eastwood.

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” — Barnett R. Brickner.

“Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them, and you have found a lover for life.” — Leo Buscaglia.

“Courtship to marriage is a very witty prologue to a very dull play.” — William Congreve.

“It is the duty of the bride’s father to give a party to announce the Engagement. Apparently, this is done only after everyone knows about it.” — Spencer Tracy.

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller.

“The best thing that the diamond ring could do; was to amicably occupy a place on the engagement finger.” — Nikhil Parekh.

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. Your Love paints a beautiful picture of what Love really means.” — Unknown.

“You rose into my life like a promised sunrise, brightening my days with the light in your eyes. I’ve never been so strong. Now I’m where I belong.” — Maya Angelou.

“Engagement can be a commitment to love or a declaration of war. One must enter every battle without hesitation, willing to fully engage the enemy until death do you apart.” — Emily Thorne.

“It’s never out of style to have good manners. If possible, make the engagement announcement to the bride’s parents in person.” — Joyce Scardina-Becker.

“Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, the water of sincerity and air of passion.” — Unknown.

“A perfect couple shares their failures, mistakes and their successes equally and deals with them all as a team.” — Ricardo Derose.

“Marriages don’t work when one partner is happy, and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.” – Forget Paris.

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.” — Mignon McLaughlin.

“I won’t give my heart to another girl until God shows me it’s my wife.” — Eric Ludy.

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” — Antoine.

“You rose into my life like a promised sunrise, brightening my days with the light in your eyes. I’ve never been so strong. Now I’m where I belong.” — Maya Angelou.

“Although somewhat outdated, the use of formal announcement cards is a beautiful and elegant way to spread the word of your engagement.” — Joyce Scardina-Becker.

“Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” — Zig Ziglar.

“If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.” — Michelle Hodkin.

Also See: 111 Best Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Friends

“I would rather not be engaged. When people are engaged, they begin to think of being married soon…and I should like everything to go on for a long while just as it is.” — George Eliot.

“If you tell me you love me, I might not believe you, but if you show me you do, then I will.” — Unknown

“An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done.” — Jane Austen.

“An engagement should come upon a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant as the case may be. It is hardly a matter she could be allowed to arrange for herself.” — Edith Evans.

“For a marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” — Catherine Zeta-Jones.

“Let us be together for the rest of our lives; I will assure you that, starting from this engagement.” — Unknown.

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is a conversation.” — Oscar Wilde.

“I choose you, and I’ll choose you. Over and over and over without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, I’ll keep choosing you.” — Unknown.

“For it was not into my ear, you whispered but into my heart.” — Judy Garland.

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“We may have started as individuals, but now we are as one.” — Bryon Pulsifer.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” — Carl Jung.

“He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.” — Leo Tolstoy.

“To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” — David Viscott.

“I promise to take care of you when you are old, but the first time you hit me with your cane, I’ll wash your dentures in toilet water.” – Unknown.

“No engagement is worth anything unless it has been broken at least once.” — Dorothy Tutin.

“There are many blanks left in the weeks of courtship, which a loving faith fills with happy assurance.” — George Eliot.

“Each time you happen to me all over again.” – Edith Wharton

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” — Ernest Hemingway.

“Love is not blind—it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” — Rabbi Julius Gordon.

“Without you, I’m nothing, with you I’m something, but together we are everything.” — Unknown.

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn.

“I try to remember, as I hear about friends getting engaged, that it’s not about the ring and it’s not about the wedding. It’s a grave thing, getting married. And it’s easy to get swept up in the wrong things.” — Gwyneth Paltrow.

“I feel like this is the beginning, though I’ve loved you for a million years.” — Stevie Wonder.

“What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life—to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories!” – George Eliot

“A relationship is like a house when a light bulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, but you fix the light bulb.” — Unknown.

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” — Antoine.

“My instinct is to keep my engagement ring. After all, I wouldn’t like to see it on the finger of a cheeky girl.” — Sian Lloyd.

“Engagement is the time when you have a clear view of how wonderful your coming life will be. So try to get the best vision of a great and wonderful future waiting for you.” — Unknown.

“Love doesn’t make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” — Franklin P. Jones.

“If I had a single flower for every time, I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden.” — Claudia Adrienne Grandi.

“All commands from your lips are sweet, I say, and now have you not said the sweetest of all? Marry you!” — Byron Caldwell Smith.

“For you see, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” — Rosemonde Gerard.

“I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“You are my answered prayer because you are more than a giver in many aspects—a giver of Love, hope, and happiness. You are a great giver in your own peerless ways.” — Unknown.

“I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.” — Deanne Laura Gilbert.

Everyone has an addiction; mine just happens to be you.” — Unknown.

Use these beautiful Engagement quotes to write wonderful F.B. and Insta posts to announce the great news to the world.

[thylalock]

Title: The Shoe Game By: thylalock Characters: Tom Blake, William Schofield, Sepoy Jondalar, Sergeant Sanders Pairing: William Schofield/Tom Blake Summary: “Who’s more likely to say something embarrassing—” Tom raised his cherry bouquet, prompting the crowd to burst out laughing. “I was going to say ‘in their sleep,’ but I think we’re quite convinced now.” Tom and Will had a shoe game on their wedding day. Additional Tags: modern AU, blakefield, jondalar is our host, the convoy boys are present and occasionally making hilarious remarks, instead of shoes blake uses a cherry bouquet and scho uses a handkerchief, sergeant sanders is blake’s landlord and is our narrator A/N: as told by Tom’s landlord, Daniel Sanders.

—

“Ladies and gentlemen, and now onto the most anticipated part of today’s event where we can glimpse into the couple’s lives: The Shoe Game!”

The crowd cheered, prompting Daniel Sanders, Tom Blake’s landlord, to chuckle to himself. Sitting at the edge of the crowd and nursing his drink, Sanders allowed a small smile to play on his lips. Thomas Blake and William Schofield sure did take ages just to admit to themselves they were in love with each other, frustrating the poor old landlord who had been trying to knock some sense into the the boys’ head, but looking at the couple’s happy faces, blindingly bright with joy, he could almost say it was worth it. 

It was a small wedding, not too crowded, with only the couple’s most dearest people invited. Though Sanders only knew a handful of the guests there—Tom’s mother and brother, Will’s mother and sisters, Will’s landlady, and a bunch of Tom’s friends from uni and work who would come to pick him up for drinks on Saturday nights—it was unmistakable that the couples were loved by those closest to them.

The venue was quite simple, not overly decorative or extravagant, but it was visible that Tom and Will’s personality bled into every inch of the place. The walls were decorated in white linen sprinkled with warm fairy lights here and there, giving the whole place a sense of warmth and welcome and the feeling of being home—Will’s idea, no doubt there—but at the edges, adorning lamp holders, snaking around pillars, and blooming in the middle of every table, were plants and vines and bouquets of cherry blossoms—Tom’s side. The whole event, including the way that Tom was dressed in a light grey suit and Will in sharp black, was a beautiful display of the contrasting natures of the two. 

Two chairs had been placed in the middle of the front space, facing away from each other, and on each of them was a bouquet of cherry blossoms and a plain white handkerchief. Sanders didn’t even need any explanation to tell which one was whose. 

It was quite funny to see the two of them sitting with their backs on each other, with Tom grinning widely at the crowd and Will looking quite calm himself, as though acting like each other’s antithesis.  

“Okay, I should think this one needs no explanation for you two, but I’ll explain it nonetheless,” the host, a tall handsome man with an Indian look, who Sanders had gathered to be one of Tom’s friends too, said. “I’ll read out a few questions and if you think the answer is Tom, you can raise the cherry bouquet, if it’s Will you can raise the handkerchief.”

Sanders and a few of the guests let out a soft laugh as the host turned to the crowd to say, “yeah, he’s modest that way.”

“Alright, let’s give it a go shall we? Who does the dishes more often?”

Tom and Will brought up their handkerchiefs in an almost mirroring movement it was almost comical, as though without any doubt. 

The host smiled, laughing in a low voice over the mic. “That was a test—we all know Will does all the dishes, but good to know you’re getting the hang of the game!”

At this Sanders let out a hearty laugh along with the rest of the guests. True—even in his own flat he had caught the younger man letting Will do the dishes when Sanders passed by his door, and on more than one occasion no less. 

Tom was visibly turning quite red on his rosy cheeks, a trait which Sanders had always found adorable because it gave away the younger man’s emotional state the way a ten years old boy couldn’t hide his feelings, but he was laughing nonetheless, accepting defeat. Will, on the other hand, smiled and began chuckling, a sign that the host had successfully broken the ice. 

“Question number two: who has the bigger wardrobe?” 

This time, as sure as the first question, the couple raised their cherry bouquets in unison—Will with a comical expression of defeat on his face and Tom with a rather smug smile on his lips, taking pride in his sense of fashion. No surprise there—the idea of having the grooms dressed in contrasting suits were probably entirely Tom’s idea.

“Who is more likely to cry during a sad movie?”

One of Will’s little sisters said, “Will?” but then covered her exploding giggling when the couple brought up their cherry bouquets.

The host joined the guests in laughter, turning to face her to acknowledge her earlier comment. “So much for thinking Will is the sentimental one, right?”

Sitting beside her, Sanders could see a man, who Sanders recognized as Tom’s brother Joe, shooting back a reminder, “give him dog movies!”

A low buzz of chuckling spread around the small crowd—apparently everyone was familiar with Tom’s love for dogs. Sanders himself had to deny the young man his request to get a dog in the flat at least a dozen times, reminding him that he worked almost all day long and wouldn’t be there to actually take care of it. 

On the front, Tom feigned defeat. “No! Not dog movies!”

The host gave a good-natured laugh, before carrying on, “who's more likely to say something embarrassing—”

Tom raised his cherry bouquet, a confident expression written on his face as though accepting that particular side of his nature, prompting Sanders and the rest of the crowd to burst out laughing. Even the host had to double over to hold himself from laughing too loud into the mic. 

He gathered that the host hadn’t finished his question, but that was fair enough. Even as a landlord, Sanders had witnessed how Tom’s carefree and honest and uninhibited personality had contributed to some embarrassing remarks said by the young man. 

The host walked up to pat Tom on the shoulder. “I was going to say ‘in their sleep,’ but I think we’re quite convinced now.”

At the finished question, Will brought up his handkerchief, saving Tom and bringing the crowd to another round of laughter. 

“I’m sure we’re all tempted to ask what, but that’s got to be for another time,” the host said. “Next question: who takes longer in the shower?”

There was a unanimous shout of “Tom!” coming from Tom’s friends, all clustered together on one corner of the crowd, and at Will’s approving wave of his cherry bouquet, Tom brought up his own bouquet in confirmation. True—sometimes even Sanders had been left with the job to entertain the boys who had come to pick Tom up because the man took forever in the shower. 

“No surprise there,” the host said, smiling as he peeked into his question list. “Who is the better kisser?”

When Tom and Will visibly took their time thinking and smiling to themselves, the crowd began cheering and the boys actually wolf-whistled. Sanders could barely hold himself from covering his face in his palms at the way the grooms slowly brought up the other’s attribute slowly, as though they were bashful twenty years old lads again, completely in love and aching for each other, driving the poor landlord insane, and not a couple getting married today. 

The guests went mad. 

One of the boys actually cried out, “oh my god, get a room!”

He was answered with a playful remark from another boy in the group, “shut up, Cooke!”

“It’s okay Cooke, they’ll get a lot of that in the following days,” the host interrupted, taking it as his cue, although he was still laughing. “Moving on: who is a bigger baby when they're sick?”

Again, there was a unanimous vote of “Tom!” from the boys, rivaled only by Will quickly shooting up his bouquet. 

No surprise there either for Sanders, considering how many times Will had knocked on Tom’s door, bringing hot foods and basically taking care of him like a husband even before they were together. 

In front of the hall, Tom smiled bashfully as he brought up his bouquet in admittance. 

“Who will kill the spiders in the house?”

Tom quickly shot up his handkerchief, waving it as though they were in the bathroom and it was a cry for help to kill the spider under the sink. On the other side, Will didn’t bring anything up for quite a time, laughing to himself. 

The host turned to Will. “No one? Will, you’ve got to turn around, he’s basically crying out SOS.”

Will turned around and Tom waved his handkerchief at him, raising his eyebrows and prompting the older groom to laugh. 

“I guess that would be me,” Will admitted, bringing up his own handkerchief. 

“Well, someone’s always got to kill the spiders, even if they don’t like it,” the host concluded. “Who is the better driver?”

This prompted the guests to giggle because Tom and Will brought up their own attribute for this. 

They each turned around, an expression of surprise etched to their faces as they found out they both took the credit. 

“You can’t even find the nearest chemist!” Tom  gave a jesting argument. 

Will replied something in return, but it died amidst the laughing guests. 

“Will said Tom can’t parallel park, which is true,” the host chimed in, earning a playful smack from the younger man. Sanders had to agree with the host though, it always baffled the landlord how Tom could get his driving license when he always parallel parked his car in such a mortifying angle in front of the flat. 

“Next question: who is the better cook?”

Unequivocal vote of “Will!” from the boys, to which Sanders agreed. Tom shot up his handkerchief while Will took his time raising his own handkerchief, as though not quite certain of his cooking skills. Sanders smiled to himself—the man was being too modest, everyone was a chef compared to Tom. 

“Who is in control of the remote?”

Both brought up their bouquet, which did not surprise Sanders. 

“Who will be most likely to wake up grumpy?”

There was a divided vote for each groom from the guests, but ultimately both Tom and Will brought up their handkerchief. 

“When you first met, who made the first move?”

Tom shot up his bouquet quickly, looking quite smug, while Will only laughed before he brought up his bouquet in agreement. 

“Who said I love you first?”

With more confidence, the couple raised their handkerchief in unison as the crowd cooed in soft “aww.”

“Who proposed?”

This drew a round of cheering and clapping from the guests, as Tom and Will both raised their handkerchief and bouquet. Sanders himself had his jaw dropped. He remembered that particular day because Tom was both too excited and nervous and bubbly that morning, and far too jittery than what he could face later that night, but he didn’t know this was what happened. It was almost comical to see that they didn’t even need to turn around to know that the other was raising both of their attributes. 

The host was visibly surprised, barely containing his own laughter. “What? How did it happen?”

“I was planning to propose,” Will said. “but it didn’t quite turn out the way it was supposed to, but apparently Tom’s also planned to propose on the same day. It was crazy.”

“We both had our rings that day,” Tom chimed in. “We end up wearing each other’s.”

“Oh, what wouldn’t we give for something like this, eh?” the host commented, earning a round of laughter and  ‘aww’, especially from the ladies guests. 

“Now, moving on to the last but most important question,” the host made a dramatic pause as he looked up from his question cards. “Now that you’re married, who’s more likely to say: it’s high time you start taking out the bins?”

Tom and Will brought up their handkerchief, and a nice round of applause closed the game in a nice wrapping. 

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, please join me in inviting the grooms to dance their first dance as married husbands!”

Fin

—

A/N: Prone to say embarrassing things, taking forever in showers, being a baby when they are sick, can’t cook to save their life? Basically, Blake is me. I’m sorry for embarrassing him a lot, in a way it’s me confessing my sins AHAHAHAHH

HFJDKHFJKDHFKD I do hope things didn’t come out too cringey because this honestly the first time I’ve written anything other than angst, and a humour no less, so really if you can’t finish it I really won’t blame you ahahahahh

However, constructive criticism is always welcomed! This is honestly my first attempt at humour, so if it’s not working I really won’t be offended if you say so. Thank you nonetheless for reading! What am I doing running away from Celestial, lol!

[chpkns]

BEST ALBUMS 2020

Some albums I enjoyed during quarantine.

Hon Mentions: Campfire Chords - Arkells, A Written Testimony - Jay Electronica, All In One - Jaunt, Punisher - Phoebe Bridgers, Alfredo - Freddie Gibs and Madlib, Thats What They All Say - Jack Harlow, Western Swing & Waltzes and Other Punchy Songs - Colter Wall, This Place Sucks Ass - PUP, Only For Dolphins - Action Bronson, Black Habits - D Smoke, What’s Your Pleasure - Jessie Ware, 3.15.20 - Childish Gambino, Dedicated Side B - Carly Rae Jepsen, Dark Lane Demo Tapes - Drake, After Hours - The Weeknd, color theory - Soccer Mommy, Circles - Mac Miller, Womb - Purity Ring

10) Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa

One of the lesser, although still significant, tragedies of the 2020 COVID era was that weddings and sweaty club basements the world over were robbed of Dua Lipa’s prolific output this year. Future Nostalgia is hit or miss in places, but the hits come hot and heavy delivering banger after 80′s-disco-inspired banger. Dominant summer jams “Don’t Start Now” and “Break My Heart” are the highlights here, along with “Levitating” (equally good with or without DaBaby). Sleeper tracks “Cool” and “Hallucinate” round out the year’s best pure pop album.

Highlights: Don’t Start Now, Break My Heart, Levitating, Physical, Cool, Hallucinate

9) Women In Music, Pt. III - HAIM

The third album from LA’s sister act rock trio HAIM delivers consistency and growth for the band. There’s plenty of retro heartbreak rock on Women In Music, Pt. III to satisfy fans of HAIM’s first two albums, but lots of new on offer as well including the jazzy Lou Reed inspired sax of “Summer Girl” and Danielle Haim sounding positively Joni Mitchell-esque on “Man From the Magazine”. The auditory production flourishes of erstwhile Vampire Weekend member Rostam are noticeable throughout and help stretch the bounds of the HAIM sisters’ signature Wilson Phillips meets Fleetwood Mac summer rock sound into something more of the moment.

Highlights: The Steps, Summer Girl, Don’t Wanna, Man From the Magazine, FUBT

8) My Turn (Deluxe) - Lil Baby

I’ve almost given up on trying to enjoy or understand most “new rap” but every now and then something breaks through that I connect with for some reason. Atlanta rapper Lil Baby’s My Turn was that album for me this year. There are many reasons I feel I should not like Lil Baby’s music, from his liberal use of autotune to his mumbling delivery, but something always drew me back to it and, listen after listen, it grew on me. Lil Baby’s flow is persistent when he locks in, with matching driving trap production from Quay Global, Tay Keith and others, mirroring in sound the story of Baby’s rise from the streets to prison to the studio. The standout track is late addition “The Bigger Picture”, Lil Baby’s protest anthem on race in America, policing and the turmoil following the killing of George Floyd by police, a political statement from an otherwise apolitical artist, showing that Lil Baby has much more to offer than bravado and autotune.

Highlights: Grace (ft. 42 Dugg), Forever (ft. Lil Wayne), No Sucker (ft. Moneybagg Yo), Social Distancing, The Bigger Picture

7) Miss Anthropocene - Grimes

The third major studio release from Montreal native Claire Boucher, better known as Grimes, doesn’t reach the same highs as its predecessors - 2015′s electro-pop masterpiece Art Angels (which rated number 1 on this list for that year) or 2012′s Visions, the synth-laden fever dream that introduced Grimes to mainstream notoriety (number 2 on this list for 2012) - but it’s still very much worth the time. The vibe of Miss A falls somewhere between Grimes’ previous two albums, and a little darker and messier to boot. Grimes sounds a bit like she’s playing a concert for the end of the world, which feels a bit prophetic for an album released just before a global pandemic took hold. As always, Grimes is out to flex her muscle as a technician and across the album’s ten tracks she mixes diverse sounds ranging from rave synths to banjos showing how far her craft has come since making Visions on Garageband in her Mile End apartment.

Highlights: So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth, Violence, Delete Forever, 4ÆM, You’ll miss me when I’m not around

6) evermore - Taylor Swift

Spoiler alert, this isn’t the highest ranked Taylor Swift album on this list. Surprise released in December, evermore was an early Christmas present to fans of Swift’s surprise summer album folklore (more on that later). evermore continues Swift’s reinvention from pop star to indie singer-songwriter, assisted by songwriting partner Aaron Dessner of The National and a variety of indie darling guest stars - this time around featuring HAIM, The National’s Matt Berninger and another stunning guest turn with Bon Iver. Speaking of Justin Vernon, the album capping title track might be the single best song on either folklore or evermore. And for fans of Taylor’s earlier catalogue like me, the return to country music on “no body, no crime” is like reconnecting with an old friend. evermore is a little messier and less consistent thematically than its sister album, feeling a bit like folklore’s b-sides. But when your b-sides are better than most artist’s a-sides, why not release another album’s worth?

Highlights: ‘tis the damn season, no body no crime (ft. HAIM), coney island (ft. The National), cowboy like me, evermore (ft. Bon Iver)

5) RTJ4 - Run The Jewels

Walking the streets of my neighbourhood with the first listen of RTJ4 in my earbuds, I found myself actually crying at the thought that I would not get to see Killer Mike and el-P perform these songs live in the summer of 2020. The memories of RTJ festival sets past came rushing over me in a wave. That was my first “damn, I miss live music moment” of the pandemic. The fourth instalment of Run The Jewels’ historic rap partnership is more of the same in the very best way. Like the dynamic duo’s previous three instalments, RTJ4 is in your face, moves at a frenetic clip, and takes no prisoners. There’s even another album highlighting collaboration with Rage Against The Machine’s Zack De La Rocha. The politics of RTJ4′s tirades against inequity and the police state feel even more imminent in 2020 against the backdrop of George Floyd, the ensuing protest movement that gripped America, and the 2020 presidential election. I really hope we get a chance to see Mike and el-P tour these songs in 2021, the world needs it.

Highlights: ooh la la (ft. Greg Nice and DJ Premier), goonies vs. E.T., walking in the snow, JU$T (ft. Pharrell Williams and Zack de la Rocha), a few words for the firing squad (radiation)

4) Saint Cloud - Waxahatchee

The majestically twangy folk-Americana of Saint Cloud, the fifth solo album from Katie Crutchfield (stage named Waxahatchee after Waxahatchee Creek, Alabama, where the singer grew up), is a nostalgic cure for the ails of 2020. The soft bluesy rhythms of Crutchfield’s songs feel like a lazy long summer day spent by the water. That was something we needed this year. The songwriting is just as beautiful. The standout track, “Fire”, speaks to Crutchfield’s journey finding sobriety and reconnecting with her southern roots. It also speaks to a longing feeling “give me something / it ain’t enough / it ain’t enough”.  On “Arkadelphia”, Crutchfield croons: “We try to give it all meaning / Glorify the grain of the wood / Tell ourselves what's beautiful and good”. In the chaos of 2020, the calm oasis of Saint Cloud is certainly something beautiful and good worth enjoying.

Highlights: Can’t Do Much, Fire, The Eye, Arkadelphia, St. Cloud

3) Suddenly - Caribou

Suddenly was my first genuine pandemic listen and, in the early days of lockdown, I found myself going back to it again and again. So much so, that the opening haunting notes of “Sister” became a kind of touchstone as I adjusted to a weird new work-from-home lifestyle. The chilled out weirdness of Caribou was an extremely welcome presence in 2020. It had been long enough since 2014′s Our Love (2014′s number 1 on this list) that I’d forgotten how enjoyably quirky Dan Snaith’s floaty pseudo-house tunes could be. Suddenly is a little more laid back than the club ready Our Love, which maybe suits it more to a world where dancefloors are closed. The tunes are also tighter, more economical in their length and soundscape. The lead single “Home” sounds downright commercial (in a good way) with it’s motown sampled chorus. Other parts of the album, like the closing “Cloud Song” venture into more experimental territories. All throughout, however, are Caribou’s signature warm chord progressions inviting you to lose yourself in them. Whether you’re looking for a guided meditation or an at-home dance party, Suddenly was the perfect 2020 album for it.

Highlights: Sister, Home, Lime, Never Come Back, Ravi

2) Cuttin’ Grass, Vol. 1 : The Butcher Shoppe Sessions - Sturgill Simpson

2020 was full of unexpected things, many bad but some surprisingly delightful. Firmly in the latter category is Cuttin’ Grass, Sturgill Simpson’s surprise double album made up entirely of bluegrass covers of his own catalogue. A true product of 2020, Simpson recorded the album with a murderer’s row of contemporary bluegrass artists after recovering from COVID-19 and challenging his fans to raise funds for charity in exchange for recording a new album. That album became Cuttin’ Grass, a traditional bluegrass re-imagination of the greatest hits and hidden gems of a country artist who has always strived to avoid being labelled as a country artist. The songs feel effortlessly at home and are given new life amid the frenetic guitar and mandolin picking, flying fiddles, and twangling banjos. If Simpson’s ode to the revelatory experience of psychedlic drug use “Turtles All The Way Down” felt revolutionary on 2014′s Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, it feels like an old standard here with its tempo pitched up and enveloped in the cacophony of the bluegrass ensemble. There is some good old fashioned heartbreak to slow things down too. Mandolin player and backup vocalist Sierra Hull shines on “I Wonder” (a cover of a song originally recorded by Sturgill’s former band Sunday Valley) as she joins Simpson on the chorus: “Tell me am I the only one / drinking and cursing your name?” The juxtaposition of Simpson’s unconventional country catalogue with the most traditional of country music styles just works and the entire hour can be listened and relistened for days. And if you’re still not satisfied, the companion “Volume 2: the Cowboy Arms Sessions” released in December brings back the same supporting cast to explore more of Simpson’s catalogue.

 Highlights: All The Pretty Colors, Breakers Roar, Time After All, Turtles All The Way Down, Voices

1) folklore - Taylor Swift

Well, I told you there’d be more Taylor Swift on this list, and here it is. Your number 1 album of 2020 is folklore, the surprise release pandemic project in which the world’s biggest country star turned pop star reinvented herself again as an indie artist. Unlike anything else Swift has put out since RED, nothing on folklore is designed to be played in a stadium. Rather, it’s all more at home in a cabin by the fire, or in your earbuds on a fall walk... basically, it’s music meant for 2020. Like its companion evermore, folklore is the product of Swift’s songwriting collaboration with The National’s guitarist Aaron Dessner. The melding of songwriting styles seems like an odd match at first but sounds like a match made in heaven. Lyrically, Swift’s songwriting makes an evolutionary leap, almost leaving her primary auto or semi-autobiographical comfort zone behind completely (other than, perhaps, in heavily veiled metaphor) in favour of invented stories and semi-historical world building. After a few listens, you discover that the same characters appear in different songs like the imagined history of Rebekah Harkness, the real life former inhabitant of Swift’s Rhode Island home, on “the last great american dynasty” or imagery of “battleships” that “sink beneath the waves” in the ghost story of “my tears ricochet”. In the so-called “teenage love triangle trilogy” of “betty”, “cardigan”, and “august”, Swift tells different parts of the same story from the perspective of different characters. Each song stands on its own, but the discovery that the pieces fit together is wonderful. “betty” is the standout track for me, as a long suffering fan of “country Taylor”. In style, it harkens back to her earlier work, but in substance it’s something new entirely as Swift sings from the perspective of James, the boy who has done wrong by his lover and is seeking forgiveness. The pinnacle of the album is “exile” Swift’s collaboration with Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon. The call and response interaction of Swift with Vernon’s true to for emma form baritone is chill inducing. Like so many of the unexpected good things in 2020, folklore came from throwing plans out the window and doing what felt right for the moment. This is Taylor Swift making the music she wanted to make. In Dark Knight fashion, it’s the album we needed, if not the one we deserved. It’s the best album of the year.

Highlights: cardigan, the last great american dynasty, exile (ft. Bon Iver), my tears ricochet, epiphany, betty, peace

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

Oscar Shaw-Cullman. *Supporting Character. Voice Claim: (Michael Angarano(young)) https://youtu.be/BAH6D-_NyVs?t=18s Partner(s): None. Parents: Andy and Congo. (None biologically) Evan and Akin.   Kids: None. Other family members: The Cullman, Shaw and Thompson family. Daniel, and the Lupei clan. And of course his siblings Willow, Odette, Lina, Lylah, Annie, Sam and Felix. Age: Immortal, but translates roughly into start 20′s, although he can be rather naive and clueless and often comes off more as a teenager. Height: 180cm Body type: Very slim, but with a bit of muscle tone.   Eye color: Light blue. Classification: (Immortal) A version of Seraphim (angel like creature, often called 'ones of love’ as their name comes from the Hebrew root of love) he possesses healing powers, powers of flight, powers to create love, powers to give life, and powers of mending broken things. Including hearts. About: ~ Quite shy, introvert, often unfocused, often lost in his own world, artistic, childlike mind, sweet, cuddly, cute, very girly both in features and personality, compassionate, playful, innocent, gullible, trusting, naive, can be very cautious at times, quiet, caring, bubbly, honest, positive, pensive, optimistic, caring, curious, nurturing and helpful. ~ Gay, bottoms only.   ~ Has half long wavy but silky light to medium blonde hair.     ~ He loves all animals, and often drag home lizards and butterflies. ~ Dislikes violence. ~ Gets uncomfortable in large groups of people. ~ Moved in with Eonan in late 2020, although they aren’t a couple. Oscar was simply reaching the age that it was time to move out from his parents, but isn’t really grown up enough to live on his own, so Eonan who is a very close family friend, offered Oscar to move in with him. ~ Smells like cookies, candies, chocolate or berries. ~ Favorite past time activity is taking bubble baths and strolling the beach. ~ Has not been in a relationship yet, as he doesn’t seem mature enough yet, but is no longer virgin either. ~ Obsessed with the color pink. ~ Collects plushies and dolls. ~ Only eats sweet things, such as candy, cookies, cakes, chocolate, berries, fruit, milk shakes, smoothies and so on. Absolutely hates spicy stuff and would never eat meat. Doesn’t have problems with anyone else eating meat though. ~ He’s very protective of Andy and animals.   ~ Is mostly called Ossie by family ~ Will on rare occasion eat a slice of pizza as long as someone picks the meat off first. ~ Is very much a ‘daddy’s boy’ when it comes to Andy, he even bought Oscar a choker that says ‘daddy’s boy’, which Oscar wears every day proudly. ~ Feels most safe in his own room, which most of all looks like a spoiled child’s room. ~ Is often referred to as ‘Bunny boy’ ~ Loves his parents, siblings and other family members, anything Kawaii, eating sweets, bubble bath scents, glitter, unicorns, rainbows, Disney movies, nature, bunnies, amusement parks, the beach, fizzy non alcoholic drinks, Rillakkuma, Sentimental Circus, Hello Kitty, TokiDoki, Cinnamoroll, beach vibes, swimming, coconut drinks (non alcoholic), Congo’s home made hot chocolate, warm pancakes, baby animals - specially baby ducks, dick, and spending 'cozy time’ in bed with Andy, as he calls it. ~ Style - Think sugar cute. ~ He thinks and acts a lot younger than his 'age’, but is often known for sharing philosophical-like views. Ossie’s tag Ossie’s house/home Ossie’s moodboard Handwriting/ask answer pic:

One gif to describe him:

One song to describe him:  Pharrell Williams - Happy Personal playlist: 1. Shanks & Bigfoot - Sweet Like Chocolate 2. Artful Dodger Feat. Craig David - Re-Rewind                                              3. Jennifer Brown - Alive 4. Moloko - Sing It Back 5. The Supermen Lovers (feat. Mani Hoffman) - Starlight 6. Carrie Underwood - Ever Ever After 7. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words 8. One T + Cool T The magic key 9. Kylie Minogue - Love at first sight (TEEMID & Julia Cover) 10. Bob Sinclar - World Hold On 11. Atomic Kitten - The Tide Is High (Get The Feeling) 12. Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc (The SAME x Lalitia Cover) 13. Five - Got The Feelin' 14. Sugababes - Overload 15. Christina Aguilera - Candyman 16. Jack Johnson - Upside Down 17. All Saints - I Know Where It's At 18. Nelly Furtado - Powerless (Say What You Want) 19. Spiller - Groovejet (If This Ain't Love) 20. iiO - Rapture 21. Kylie Minogue - I Should Be So Lucky 22. Junior Senior - Move Your Feet 23. Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me 24. Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes 25. Oasis - Wonderwall ft. Katy McAllister (Monkey Joker Edit) 26. Le Boeuf x Amanda Law - I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys Cover) 27. Busted - Year 3000 28. Gwen Stefani - Rich Girl (Official Music Video) ft. Eve 29. Olive - You're Not Alone 30. Rihanna - Don't Stop The Music

[that-one-thespian]

((Will and Jackson are the amazing @crash-bump-bring-the-whump‘s ocs and Ruin you know what you did))

Zuriel doesn’t know how anyone can be alive in that wreck below him, but they’re alive, and in pain. He touches down outside the car and knocks carefully at the window, looking in at the victim. He can’t believe how much pain is roiling out from inside, how can th- His heart stops when his eyes land on the person in the passenger seat.

The reaper in the passenger seat.

It’s Will. 

“Oh, heavens,” he breathes. The door is too warped and twisted to open out towards him, so he wraps his fingers around the edge of the door and yanks, ripping it away so he can get to the wounded reaper. 

The moment the door is open, Will starts to panic. “Please, take me, jus- just me, y’don’t need him, jus’ me, please-” Breathless pleas tumble from his lips, and they break Zuriel’s heart. Of course- his holy magic. Will thinks he’s Daniel. 

“Will, Will, it’s me, it’s Zuriel,” he hurries to reassure him, taking one of his hands into his own. Brushing Will’s unmoving fingers over the scarred tissue left from their shared time together in the lab. His friend’s hand doesn’t so much as twitch underneath his own, and his words are babbled over by more begging, getting more and more heartwrenching and desperate.

“Will, please, Will, listen to me.” His hand travels up to Will’s face, and he lightly brushes the scarred back of his hand against Will’s cheek. The reaper freezes at the touch, the pleas dying mid-word. “Will, it’s me. Can you hear me?”

Will trembles against his hand, and Zuriel gently cups his face into his palm, his thumb brushing over the reaper’s cheekbone. “Will?”

“Zuriel,” Will breathes, going slack against the seat. “He-ey.”

“Hey, Will.” Zuriel’s other hand hovers over him, trembling slightly. He fights to keep his voice from doing the same. “Will, how- how do I help you? Do you want me to heal you? Or- or-” He knows the other option. He’s seen it a couple of times himself. “I can heal your spine, so you can- you can take out your soul?” He’s not going to offer his sword, he knows about Will and blades.

“Save your magic.” Will cracks one of those small, painful smiles that are so familiar. “Trust you,” he wheezes.

Zuriel hesitates. “Will, do you- are you saying-?”

“Zu-uriel…can, can you…you grab m-my soul…? Ple-ase…?”

Zuriel’s heart breaks a little, listening to that raspy, cracking plea. He can’t say no to that.

Zuriel places his hand on Will’s chest, palm flat, and takes a deep breath. Then he pushes, just a little, and his hand slides into Will’s chest. It only takes a moment for his searching fingers to find the soul, and he plucks it from its place as gently as he possibly can. 

The second his fingertips brush his soul, William takes a deep breath and relaxes. With a breathy, “Tha-ank you, Zuriel,” Will’s body dissolves into purple smoke in front of him, and he’s left with a marble-sized orb nestled in his palms.

Zuriel cradles his soul close to his chest, awed and humbled by Will’s show of vulnerability. “Thank you for trusting me,” he whispers to the purple smoke clinging to his hand as it rolls down his fingers towards the corpse in the driver’s seat.

The corpse that suddenly gasps and starts moving.

“Oh! Oh, heavens, can you hear me?” He hurries closer, looking over the man. How- he felt nothing from the other side of the car just a moment ago, but now there’s pain, and fear, and confusion, and distress.

“Will?” The man turns his head just a little and his eyes settle on Zuriel. “Who-?” The man blinks up at him, and Zuriel’s eyes widen at the sight of the mile marker sticking out of the man’s ribs. Oh, dear.

“My name is Zuriel, I’m here to help you.”

“Will, where- where’s Will?” Those eyes focus on him warily.

In response, Zuriel holds out Will’s soul for him to see. “I couldn’t leave him like that.” With utmost care, he tucks the smoky orb into the pocket of his tunic, right over his heart. He won’t allow anything to happen to his friend.

He moves to the other side of the car, using his sword to split the door in two when it doesn’t open for him. “Okay, this is- it’s going to hurt, I’m sorry. I’ll heal you as soon as I get you off of that thing.”

The man wheezes, looking uncertain, but his eyes go to the purple light in his pocket, and he nods. 

Zuriel wraps both hands around the protrusion, eyes focused on the area between the man’s ribs where the mile marker had entered his body. He’s going to have to be fast with his healing magic, he has no idea how this man is still alive.

With a grunt, he pulls at the marker. The man groans in pain, and the sign inches forward, but it’s still embedded. Zuriel frowns. He has to get it out with this next try, he won’t force him to suffer any longer than he has to.

He braces his feet against the side of the wrecked car and yanks. This time, the blood-covered mile marker slides free from the man’s chest and Zuriel staggers back with it. The man in the driver’s seat makes a cracked sound of agony that morphs into a scream, arching in the seat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know that hurt, the worst is over now.” The sign is discarded on the ground without a second thought as he wraps his arms around the man, takes a moment to grab Will’s cane, and pulls him out of the car. That’s a lot of blood. “I’m going to heal you now,” he makes sure to tell him, just to give a warning. 

He presses a hand over the wound and focuses, concentrates, calling golden healing light to his fingertips. It spreads through his body, knitting torn flesh together and banishing the aches. Zuriel stays like that for a several moments, channeling his power to seek out the injuries, his arm, head, torso. Finally, the light dies, and Zuriel blinks away his dizziness.

The man lifts his head a little, looking disbelieving. A hand tentatively touches the place on his torso that had been bleeding so profusely before he looks up at Zuriel. “Thank you,” he says quietly.

Zuriel smiles in response. “I’m going to bring you both to a safe place, is that okay? I doubt you want to stay by the freeway all evening.”

A bewildered nod from the man, and Zuriel unfurls his wings, tightening his grip on the man and double-checking that Will is safe in his pocket before he takes to the skies.

It doesn’t take long for Zuriel to find a suitable clearing, and he touches down lightly on the grass. A whispered command word, and the pocket cottage unfolds into existence, door already open for him and his newest charge.

He sets the weakened man on his bed and perches in a chair next to it. “Poor thing, you must be exhausted. What’s your name?” 

He groans, blinking open his eyes to look at him. “Jackson,” he answers feebly.

“Jackson.” Zuriel smiles gently at him. “My name is Zuriel. I’m a friend of Will’s.” He watches that sink in before he continues. “You can rest now, if you wish. Is there anyone you want me to call for you? Anyone who might be worried about you, anyone you want to come here?”

Jackson fumbles in his pocket, coming up with a cell phone. “Brian and, and Elliot,” he says, his voice cracking on the last syllables. “Eme-ergency c-contacts.” 

Zuriel nods and takes the phone from his shaking hand, placing his other hand on his shoulder as he summons his healing again. Warm light travels through his fingertips through Jackson, and he watches the man relax under his ministrations. “Rest,” he says again. “I’ll watch over you.”

Jackson’s out like a light before he can finish the sentence.

Zuriel heals a little more until he starts to feel dizzy, before he pulls his hand away and turns on Jackson’s phone. He doesn’t need to search for Brian and Elliot’s contacts, not when the screen so clearly displays twenty-seven missed calls. He calls the first number on the screen and gets an answer immediately. 

“Jack, thank god! When you didn’t answer our calls, Elliot and I thought-”

“I’m, I’m not Jack, I’m sorry,” Zuriel interrupts the frantic voice gently. “But he’s safe.”

The voice pauses. “Sorry, who are you?”

It takes a few minutes to explain the situation, but he gives the owner of the voice- Brian, directions to the cottage, along with multiple reassurances that Jack and Will are okay, and in return receives a promise that “Elliot and I will be right there!”

Once he hangs up the phone, Zuriel checks on Will’s soul, still safe and sound in his pocket, and puts a hand over him protectively. “You’re safe now,” he can’t stop himself from whispering. He won’t let anything happen to him, not while he’s under his protection.

 On the bed, Jackson isn’t showing any signs of nightmares, so Zuriel rises and goes to the kitchen. He’d better get started on dinner. He’s going to have a lot of guests.

[sorry4yourloss]

Sorry For Your Loss

Everton Football Club.

Everton, through my kids’ eyes, must be a very odd thing indeed. They watch me get home from work, open my mouth and excitedly belch “Guess what happened today!?!”

They also watch my wife, gently suppressing a sigh, ask “Is this about work?… Or Everton?”

It’s always about Everton. Always.

I live in Michigan, 3,594 miles from Goodison Park with my American wife and four (sorry, five) kids.

Fifteen years ago, when I first moved here, no one seemed to care about my football. I remember my brother-in-law tying his shoelaces in front of the TV while Wayne Rooney was busy getting sent off against Portugal, and I still see his annoyed face when I asked him to move.

I started blogging about Everton just to talk to someone else about my team. And I shared that writing on social media, which was in its infancy. Now social media is my career.

It’s always about Everton. Always.

These days, I can wear my Everton equivalent of the Wenger-gown, a long warm hug of a coat, out and about in Michigan and people talk to me about Everton.

At the check out in the local grocery store: “How are Everton doing this season, sir?”

At a restaurant: “Cool jacket, I hear Moise Kean isn’t doing that well so far this year.”

At work: “The second half of that game was great, Goodison was roaring!”

Last year, after Everton lost a horror show of a match to Newcastle United, and I was howling at my phlegm flecked television, Gracie (kid #3, the Three Graces – Kendall, Harvey, Ball – it’s always about Everton) asked me, “Dad, why do you like these people?… They don’t know you and you don’t know them. They can’t hear you shouting.”

I still haven’t given her an adequate answer. 

How does this glum chain gang of eleven men not doing their job properly consistently make me come back for more?

Everton, it goes without saying, are pretty woeful. Since I was first ushered into Goodison Park in 1990, we’ve only won one trophy. Often far too good (or lucky) to go down, we’re also too bad to compete at the Premier League’s top table.

Over on Twitter, people dedicate whole threads to the Everton “banter era”. Champagne dashed from our lips, ridiculously misguided transfers, goalkeepers getting injured on signs that say “don’t play in this goal”… Others have said we are the most miserable team there is, because whilst most teams have a rollercoaster existence of promotion, relegation, championships and cups – Everton plod along, stuck in a footballing limbo. Never getting relegated. Never winning trophies.

Every time I watch them though, I get outraged anew. It’s like I’m watching Everton get trounced for the first time. 

I think I can blame optimism. 

Remarkably, despite a quarter of a century of footballing limbo, hope grows like weeds.

When kid #4 came into our life, we gave him Pele’s real name as his middle name: Charles Edson Bottomley.

It’s always about Everton. Always.

I love that Pele played at Goodison in the 1966 World Cup, and I love the picture of Pele that I have. The greatest player in the world, looking tired and disappointed. In that one shot, even Pele is an Evertonian. Shirtless, at Goodison Park, looking slightly fed up.

I’m a double outsider really, an Everton fan in Michigan, and an Everton fan who’s from South London, not Liverpool. One of the hardest questions I used to get asked as a kid was “who do you support?” The correct answer was Millwall or Crystal Palace. Arsenal, Spurs, or Chelsea would be vaguely acceptable. Everton? Not acceptable.

One of the hardest questions I’m asked now is “how many children do you have?” The correct answer is five. But too often I say four. It makes me feel horrible if I sputter out the wrong answer.

William Rhys Bottomley, my baby boy, died the day before he was born, September 17th 2019.

He has the same first name and middle initial as our greatest goalscorer, William Ralph Dean. I think we all know he’d have played up front for Everton.

It’s always about Everton. Always.

I already have two boys who are off the charts in terms of height. William was even longer than them when he was born.

I miss him so much already. His skyscraping Merseyside derby headers, rising above an inferno of Kopite defenders, will be missed in a couple of decades too.

All those emotions that we have wrapped up in that beautifully shite football club I support can never be passed on to William. He’ll never look at me weirdly when I come home from work and say “Guess what happened today” – knowing with absolute certainty that I’m about to begin a rambling Everton monologue.

My earliest memories of Everton were names rather than games. I was naively logical about everything football. I heard my dad say he loved Gary Lineker like a son, and ran off to find a picture of him. I stared at it, thinking, “Brother?”

I remember being baffled by Ian Ormondroyd – confused as to how anyone could have such a weird name. Was he an alien? One of my earliest Goodison games was against Aston Villa. I heard Villa fans singing, “You’ll Never Beat Paul McGrath!” – and treated his omnipotence as fact.

After the names, I began to notice the stadium, Goodison Park. The noise it made when riled up.  With the right manager and players, a full-throated Goodison crowd is unplayable. Once, when we played Blackburn, I was so excited my teeth chattered all game.

After Goodison I began to notice the results. Watching Heitinga’s cracker from the Bullens with a volcanic cup of Bovril. Viewing Rooney’s goal from the Park End and hearing the Krakatoan yell of the crowd. Daniel Amokachi – overflowing with confidence like he forgot to say when – scoring a brace against Newcastle as I watched from the Main Stand.

Or the best of the lot; taking my eldest son to his first game. Naismith, Mirallas and Lukaku running roughshod over Arsenal, battering them 3-0, and me and my little blonde American boy watching from the Gwladys. And my last Goodison game? I don’t get over to England much. Can it be that I’ve already seen the last of the Old Lady?

Nope, there won’t be any odd looks from William. He won’t have a first game, or a first shirt. I won’t be able to wax lyrical about Everton to him. But he’s an Evertonian too. Wherever he is, the poor bugger doesn’t have a choice.

During William’s funeral my phone kept on buzzing. Not now, I thought, It’s not always about Everton.

As I lined up outside the church people told me “sorry for your loss.”

Afterwards I took a quick peek.

Everton had managed to lose 2-0 to Sheffield United whilst only letting them have one shot on target. My little boy got to sample classic Everton from his wicker casket.

Made me smile.