#i even designed a kindle book cover for it so it looks very fancy on my kindle

[anamelessfool]

I casually remember the Copia fic that I first read and how it changed my brain chemistry forever and then i look the author up and THERE’S A FUCKING SEQUEL THAT UPDATED ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO

And I don’t think this writer is on Tumblr. I’ve been on tumblr for a little over half my writing ”career”. Got its ups and downs but yeah the whole fandom world isn’t twitter or tumblr

If you’re out there ao3 author fellowwriter know that I love you and think of your fic near daily

[tyrantisterror]

THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST 3-D!!!

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE!  YOU THOUGHT THAT THE TIME OF MONSTERS WAS AT AN END!  BUT YOU WERE WRONG, FOR NOW YOU MUST WITNESS…

THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST 3-D!!!

That’s right, it’s back!  Celebrating the publication of The Atomic Time of Monsters Volume 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth! (which in turn completes The Ballad of Tyrantis arc for this series), I’m holding another monster design jam.  The third of such jams, in fact!

Like the first A.T.O.M. Create a Kaiju Contest, the aim of this contest is to create kaiju that would fit within the setting of my big kaiju story series, The Atomic Time of Monsters.  Think of it as me letting you into my sandbox to play with my toys for a bit, or like you’re being put in the director’s chair of a new ATOM-verse kaiju movie.  That means your entry does have to fit into ATOM’s world, which in turn means that yes, there are limitations to your creativity here.  But limitations can be good sometimes - they can make us explore options we wouldn’t consider when given completely free rein to do what we want!

(also you don’t have to make a three dimensional image or anything, the title’s just a pun on how the third movie in a monster movie franchise will often be a 3-D film)

Read below the cut to learn the rules and whatnot:

THE RULES:

1.  You are limited to one entry per person.  Work hard and make your entry count!

2.  Your kaiju must have some sort of description of its physical appearance and its personality - you can submit a drawing or a written description (or both!) for the physical appearance depending on what you’re most comfortable with.  Using the same template/format as my official ATOM Kaiju Files (https://horrorflora.com/monster-menageries/atom-kaiju-files/) isn’t required, but it was cool when people did it in the last contest, so feel free to do so this time too!

3. The kaiju you create must specifically be created for this contest  - no repurposing characters you made for other, wildly different stories.  This is not “trick TT into drawing/canonizing my main OC” time.

4. The kaiju must fit the setting and aesthetics of ATOM.  I’ll explain this in more detail down below.

5. The kaiju should add something meaningful to the world of ATOM. The more unique and interesting your kaiju is, the more likely you will win the contest.

6. Don’t make your kaiju too dependent on pre-existing ATOM characters - no “Tyrantis’s long lost evil brother who’s the strongest kaiju in the world.” These should be to Tyrantis’s story what War of the Gargantuas is to Godzilla’s movies – heroes (well, monsters) of another story in the same world.

THE REWARDS:

I will make pencil sketches of the top 5 entries in the contest.

I will then make fully rendered illustrations (lineart, colors, & shading) of the top three entries.

The winning entry will be made into a model ala the ones I’ve been making for ATOM’s core 50 monsters, which can then be shipped to the person who created it (should they be able to cover the shipping costs).  That’s right, your kaiju could be brought to life in THREE GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR DIMENSIONS!  (Hey, we worked the gag title in to the prizes!)

THE DEADLINE: All entries must be submitted by July 3rd, 2021.  You can submit it here on tumblr, via the horror flora e-mail, or any other channel you know how to reach me through.  I’m in a lot of places.

THE GUIDELINES (TO HELP YOUR ENTRY FIT THE RULES AND WIN):

The smartest thing you could do if you want to win this contest is familiarize yourself with the world of ATOM by, y’know, reading all the material I’ve published on the subject.  In addition to the many kaiju files that are free to read on horrorflora.com, there are now TWO, count ‘em, TWO novels in this series for you to peruse, both of which establish many of the rules of the setting as well as its general themes and tone!  You can get them in either paperback or e-book formatting (I’d recommend the former over the latter since I lack the technology to make a really nice ebook, but if money is an object, the kindle version is only $1).  Here’s the links again if you missed them:

Vol. 1: Tyrantis Walks Among Us!

Vol. 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth!

However, since I know reading a bunch of stuff is, y’know, not something everyone is inclined to do, I’ll jot some good bullet points for you in an attempt to outline how ATOM works in a brief, easily digested way:

ATOM is an homage to the monster fiction of the 1950’s and 60’s (i.e. the Atomic Age), and is set in those two decades, albeit an alternate universe version of them where, y’know, monsters and space aliens exist.  If you aren’t familiar with the monster fiction I’m referring to, there will be some reference material provided at the end of this post along with some recommendations for further research.

Kaiju/giant monsters in ATOM work under very specific rules.  There’s a full description of those rules at this link, but here’s the jist:

ATOM Kaiju are created created by the radiation of a mineral called Yamaneon, which naturally converts harmful radiation into its own unique energy.  In natural circumstances, it takes hundreds of years of exposure to Yamaneon radiation for a creature to become fully transform into a kaiju (luckily, Yamaneon radiation slows the aging process while speeding up the healing process).  However, an explosive burst of energy - such as the geothermal and kinetic energy released by an earthquake, or the blast of a nuclear weapon - can speed up the process, turning a normal animal into a kaiju within a matter of seconds.  

All ATOM kaiju can heal grievous wounds within minutes or even seconds, are supernaturally strong and durable, and can convert harmful radiation to harmless energy that they then feed off of.  Kaiju do not have an equivalent of old age, and can theoretically live forever (though their violent lifestyle means that few do).

ATOM Kaiju generally don’t need to eat unless they are severely injured, getting most of the energy they need from solar or geothermal radiation - but many still have instincts that drive them to seek out food from time to time.

Most ATOM kaiju stand roughly 100 feet tall (depending on their body shape), i.e. smaller than the original 1954 Godzilla.  There are exceptions to this rule - younger kaiju can be smaller, while exceedingly old kaiju can be significantly larger, but these are rare.

In general, ATOM kaiju are significantly more intelligent and emotionally complex than people expect animals to be, though most are incapable of speech or complex tool use.  There’s a reason ATOM Kaiju Files have a “personality” section.

Most ATOM Kaiju are tooth and claw fighters - ranged weapons are a rarity in this setting.

While the terrestrial monsters in ATOM look strange, they are intended to fit within the taxonomy of animals in reality - reptiles, mammals, fish, arthropods, molluscs, etc.

ATOM’s mesozoic era was dominated by a fictional clade of crocodile-relatives called retrosaurs, which are based on the outdated paleoart that one would find in the 1950’s/60’s fiction - i.e. when dinosaurs were viewed as trail dragging lizards instead of strange birds.  You can learn more about retrosaurs here (https://horrorflora.com/2016/11/15/atom-kaiju-file-bonus-a-guide-to-retrosaurs/).

Kaiju appear on every continent in ATOM, but certain areas tend to be dominated by different types.

North America is mainly besieged by retrosaur kaiju and giant arthropods.

East Asia is technically also mainly plagued by retrosaurs and big arthropods, though they tend to look more fantastical and mythic - and, often, oddly well suited to being portrayed by a person wearing a monster suit.

Russia is beset by prehistoric monsters that seem to come from the Cenozoic, particularly the Ice Age.

Western Europe is plagued by creatures that vaguely resemble creatures from myth, if they were also prehistoric.  Dragon-y lizards, fiery birds, etc.

Towards the mid-way point of ATOM’s timeline, earth is invaded by a coalition of aliens from different solar systems called the Beyonder Alliance, and as a result a bunch of alien monsters can be found on earth.

Mars and Venus both host (or hosted in Mars’s case) animal life.  The surviving Martians colonized Venus, and sent some of their kaiju guardians to earth to help us fend off the Beyonders (who are responsible for the destruction of Mars’s ecosystem).  Martian and Venusian kaiju have specific anatomical quirks, which you can see by looking at these kaiju files:

Venusians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/03/atom-kaiju-file-29-karamtor/

Martians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-39-kemlasulla/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-40-podritak/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-41-sombarvot/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-38-ullawdra/

Giant robots exist in ATOM, but are big, bulky, and incredibly expensive.  Fancy beam weapons also exist, but are similarly clunky - there are no sleek, elegant machines in ATOM.

Since the fiction ATOM takes inspiration from was made at a time when interplanetary travel was only just beginning to be possible, its scope is significantly smaller than modern sci-fi.  Alternate universes/dimensions were pretty uncommon because the idea of alien planets still held a lot of wonder to it.  So, as a general rule, don’t try to go farther than the one galaxy.

ATOM is a setting for stories that are focused on humanity learning to coexist with monsters, rather than humanity destroying them.  A certain level of sympathy is put into almost every creature of its canon, even the ones that are meant to be villains.

REFERENCE MATERIAL

Here is a playlist of 1950′s monster movie trailers.  

Here is some reference material from various monster comics of the 50′s and 60′s. 

Good movies to track down to understand ATOM’s inspiration and tone include Ghidorah the 3 Headed Monster, Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, Them!, The Black Scorpion, 20 Million Miles to Earth, Gamera, The Giant Claw, and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.

And here’s the intro cutscenes for all the different giant monsters in the PS2 videogame War of the Monsters.

[sensenoi]

Rating Every Single Name of the Wind Cover

Why? Because I can. I am not a graphic designer, just a person with opinions. 

Criteria for consideration: Must be a cover in a published edition of The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Hardcover, paperback, and ebook are all fair game, as are foreign language editions. Some editions reuse the same cover art, in which case I only rate one cover. Some editions modify cover art from another edition. If the differences are substantial, I’ll rate both.

Kindle March 2007 Edition

Ah, the famous shirtless redhead cover. This cover is a bit infamous in the fandom for being both bad and cringey. This is not good art. It’s cheesy. The shirtless aspect is silly, and the windswept hair is so windswept, you’d think Kvothe was in a tornado. Nice balance with the title and author text, although it looks like the title and author text are slightly off center.

3/10

Hardcover April 2007 Edition This is just a zoomed in crop of the above cover, which is a little lazy. It does make for a better cover image, except the creepy goat man bust has nothing to do with the plot of Name of the Wind. So I suppose they cancel out.

3/10

Mass Market Paperback April 2009 Edition

I despise this cover. It’s a lazy design, and the photo manipulation is terrible. Points I guess for good title text placement. But the photo manipulation is so! So! Bad! This is also the start of the trend of a hooded, cloaked figure with his back to the viewer staring out into the void. It is a bad trend.

2/10

Paperback UK June 2008 Edition

We’re still with the hooded, cloaked figure, but at least he’s facing front this time. I like the embellishment on the ‘W’ in the title text, although it gets a little pumpkin viney. Overall, it’s an ok cover. It doesn’t make me cringe, but it doesn’t grab the viewer’s interest, either.

4/10

Paperback Spanish May 2009 Edition

Same image as the previous cover, but this one is uncropped and has a different plant border. I’m not sure how successful the changes are. On the one hand, shrinking the image of the figure makes the figure look more mysterious, which is good. But on the other hand, this is a bad plant border. I thought there was some corn on the right side for a minute.

4/10

Hardcover 10th Anniversary October 2017 Edition

10th Anniversary edition got fancy, and it shows. I love the ruin influence in the title text, which is a great callback to the use of ruins in the novel and also a more creative and unexpected choice than making the title text leafy. That being said, the “of the” in the title text is very oddly formatted and doesn’t fit the style. The cover illustration is pretty great, with lots of symbolism for old fans while still maintaining visual interest for new readers who are browsing and happen to pick the book up. The Cinder statue is delightfully creepy and much more relevant to the novel than the dumb pan statue from the earlier cover.

9/10

Paperback Turkish March 2007 Edition

Another trend starting here: Cloaked figure staring out at a city in the distance. I like the painting, at least what I can see of it. I find the choice to crop out most of the painting really bizarre. Is this supposed to be a telescope we’re looking through? And the leaves look like lily pads. The title and author text leaf embellishments are quite nice here, but I don’t know why there’s a metallic color shift. Overall, a poor use of space.

4/10

Hardcover German March 2007 Edition

Oh look! A cloaked figure staring at a city. What a surprise. I rather like the title text design, which is pretty creative and a good way to make the title visually appealing. I wish the city in the painting weren’t so damn faded and distant – I think it’s a mistake to keep the visual focus on the figure exclusively and only hint at the city beyond.

6/10

Paperback Portuguese September 2009 Edition

This cover is terrible. I would say the worst, but there’s more still to come. Anyways, this is incredibly bad. We’re once again with the hooded, cloaked figure with his back to the viewer, which is a lazy and uninteresting pose. The image is badly photoshopped and looks like an alternate movie poster for The Blair Witch Project. There’s nothing interesting about the image, nothing that interests the viewer. The title font isn’t boring, I guess. That’s the only good thing I have to say about this. 1/10

Paperback Portuguese July 2009 Edition

Still another cloaked figure staring off at a distant city, but this is one my favorite versions of this trope. The city is far enough in the middle distance that the figure is the main focus, but we can still see enough of the city to see that it’s cool looking. I’m glad to see the bridge from the books, which is a nice detail.  The title text does a good job of filling in the empty space of the painting without crowding the other elements.

9/10

Paperback French November 2009 Edition

This is the same cover image as before, but it’s been cropped so that the figure is centered. I don’t like the change – the balance is better when the figure is off center. Also, the title text is way too big and dominates, which is unfortunate because the Spanish cover had such a lovely balance throughout. 7/10

Hardcover Dutch July 2007 Edition

Yet. Another. Hooded figure. Staring. At a city. Wow. This one has a tree, at least. The image is… fine? I might be kinder to it if I hadn’t seen several better iterations of this right before. Because so much of the image is shrouded in fog, there’s very little to go on in terms of visual interest. And while I don’t mind the shadowed, muted color scheme, it also means that there’s very little to distinguish the cloaked figure and make him intriguing. The shadow initials behind the title text is horrific and obscures the title somewhat, so docking a couple of points for that. 5/10

Hardcover UK January 2017 Edition

Ahahahaha. This looks like the My Neighbor Totoro edition of Name of the Wind. It’s very silly and lighthearted, but wholly inappropriate for a book whose reading level is above first grade. If this was a kid’s book, I’d give it full marks. But Name of the Wind is very much for adults, and this cover is way too young and childish.

1/10

Paperback Polish August 2008

YIKES. I cannot figure out which scene or location from the book this image is trying to evoke, which makes me think the cover artist did not have the book or a text excerpt to work from. What the hell are those weird horse skulls? Why is this taking place in a desert? Why is the texture so bad? So many questions. And the effect on the title text is bad.

0/10 YES WE CAN GO LOWER THAN 1

Hardcover Russian 2010 Edition

This looks like the cover to a Dungeons and Dragons manual. I suppose that’s supposed to be from the Dracchus scene with Denna, but the image doesn’t look quite right for Name of the Wind. It’s just so generic fantasy. I also don’t like how the image is cropped top and bottom to make way for a very generic marble background. Still, the image is colorful and exciting, even if it could be the cover for any fantasy novel ever.

5/10

Paperback UK 2011 Edition

What the FUCK happened here? Who let this shit happen?

-10/10

Hardcover Finnish August 2010 Edition

Ooooh, more Miyazaki fanart! This is actually quite lovely, and it fits the tone of the books much better than the kids book cover from before. I love how soft and gentle the painting is. Notice the color balance. I don’t know if this cover really ‘grabs’ you or draws interest, but it’s one of my favorites of the bunch.

10/10

Paperback Bulgarian October 2010 Edition

I reserve the right to change my opinion later, but this may be the worst contender in the cloaked and hooded figure from behind category. I actually had to double check that this wasn’t a reused image from the mass market paperback edition, but nope! This is a brand new cover image, and it’s absolute shit. The lighting is so dark it’s impossible to make out details, the balance is way off, and the cover and title text are placed over the figure (aka the only object of interest) instead of the boring, generic storm clouds.

0/10

Hardcover Lithuanian 2011 Edition

YIKES times two. This cover art is truly awful in ways I didn’t know could still happen. Kvothe’s face looks ‘off’ because the facial proportions are all wrong. The blue mystical katana is bizarre because there’s no magical sword, much less a katana, in the story. And is that a photo of Stonehenge in the background? With yet another hooded figure?! I do like the gold foil of the title and the golden dragon embellishment, but the rest of this is such shit.

0/10

Paperback Serbian February 2011

And we’re back in the safe territory of a cloaked figure staring off at a distant city! All these covers are starting to run together, but this is a new cover art. It just looks like all the others. Once again, it’s fine. The city is a little too distant and greyed out to hold interest, and the figure is kind of generic.

5/10

Paperback Italian 2008 Edition

I do not know what happened here. Who is this figure supposed to be? I cannot for the life of me figure out which character this is. It’s a shame, because it’s well-done art with a cool character and costume design. The title and author text obscure the image, though, and the shadow on the text is so extreme it’s hilarious.

0/10

Hardcover Hungarian 2009 Edition

This is just boring. There’s no information conveyed here, nothing interesting or arresting to attract the viewer’s attention. The translucent overlay on the title is an odd choice.

2/10

Paperback Persian 2016 Edition

I believe this was originally a fanart of Kvothe (correct me if I’m wrong please), but it’s a good one. The tree shadow in the back is distracting and obscures the handle of the lute on his back, though. I wish there was more here – it feels very spare in an unintentional way.

6/10

Hardcover Georgian 2016 Edition

Cloaked and hooded figure staring off into the distance, check. I’m not crazy about this one – the art is very soft in a blurred kind of way, and it reads as a little humdrum. The tower in the distance is quite dull – it looks like a modern office building.

4/10

Hardcover Italian October 2016 Edition

The title text is a little too high – I don’t like how it covers the figure’s chin. It’s not a bad idea to make Kvothe’s green eyes a focal point, and it’s certainly more of an original idea than most of these covers have shown. But the muted color pallete drags the whole mood down. It’s not evocative, just kind of damp.

5/10

Hardcover 10th Anniversary French November 2019

I LOVE this cover. It’s gorgeous. I love the gold foil, love the text, love the clouds. It’s stunning and timeless. Amazing.

10/10

Hardcover Latvian October 2013 Edition

It’s a cloaked figure with a city in the distance, but he’s NOT looking at the city! What!! I’m rather surprised at how few covers feature Kvothe actually playing the lute – this may be the only one, actually. I don’t like the bottom fade, and I think the design is a little generic fantasy. But it’s a nice balance, and the title text is fancy and eye-catching.

7/10

Paperback Polish 2017 Edition

This cover artist also clearly wasn’t working off an excerpt from the book. The character design is so off and unlike Kvothe, except for the cloak. Wall texture looks like a photo manipulation, which is cheap. This whole thing is bad.

0/10

Hardcover Russian 2015 Edition

What is with the Stonehenge imagery? And why is that guy floating off of Stonehenge in a modern hoodie? Why is that one leaf in the top right so huge? Why is the title text red and difficult to read? At least there’s a broken lute, I guess.

1/10

Paperback Chinese May 2012 Edition

This is incredibly lazy and the photoshop job is terrible and generic. Zero effort was put into this cover.

0/10

Hardcover Russian 2011 Edition

I’ve been pretty harsh on Russia, mostly because the Russian covers have been terrible. This is ok-ish. It’s very generic fantasy, and the castle looks like Hogwarts. But it has visual interest, even if the title text color is garish.

2/10

Japanese 2017 Edition

I quite love that they turned Kvothe into an anime character. And he’s doing stuff, too, and not just staring out into the middle distance. There’s so much imagery of the broken lute in these covers, so it’s refreshing to see the other part of this scene – when Kvothe loses his shit and finally calls the name of the wind. Fun cover, good artwork. The red title text works here because it matches Kvothe’s hair.

9/10

WORST:

BEST:

[ahiddenpath]

My Favorite Writing Stuff

One of the best things about writing is that all you need is a pen and paper!  But we all have our favorite tools and luxuries, and I thought it might be fun to talk about mine below the cut.  Lotsa pics, long post.

Word Processors

Scrivener

The single writing item I use most is my word processor, Scrivener, by Literature and Latte.  At some point waaaaaay back in 2012, I found myself writing Growing Up with You in Microsoft Word...  And having to wait ten seconds for the screen to adjust and load new text as I scrolled.  It was just too danged long for the program to handle.  Just reading my manuscript was a nightmare, let alone copying and pasting to move text, shuffle paragraphs, etc.  Making a new doc for each chapter quickly became a clunky chore.

THEN I FOUND SCRIVENER, AND IT’S THE BEST.

Scrivener is... not very user friendly; there’s definitely a learning curve.  But it was immediately so much better for writing long fiction than Word that I bought a book on the program and read it from cover to cover, which...  I don’t think I’ve ever done before.  That’s how much of a game changer this was.

The feature I rely on most is the binder.

This is the binder for Four Years, which currently has...  Forty-eight chapters.  I corralled the chapters into two folders, one for the first year of college (1), and one for the second (2).  

If I click folder 1, all of the chapters appear, each snug in their own folder.  Once the Scrivener file loads, there is no further loading time.  Each folder can be moved by clicking and dragging, as can each text file inside each folder.  FREEDOM!

This feature alone was worth the price of the program.  They offer a free trial, so please check it out if you’re interested!

Portable Word Processors

I’ve mentioned these before, but I have two portable gadgets that allow me to write on the go, distraction free.

Alpha Smart Neo 2

This might look like the baby of a toddler’s toy computer and a keyboard, but it’s actually my baby.

Just kidding!  Sort of!  The Alpha Smart Neo 2 is a portable word processor that boots up in a second, is powered by three AA batteries for eons, and weighs about 2 pounds.  They are no longer in production (which is a crime), but there are oodles available on Ebay for about $20-30.  

(I used to own and talk about my Alpha Smart 3000.  The Alpha Smart Neo 2 is the latest model before the company shut down, and the keyboard is nicer; it’s quieter and easier on the fingers).

I honestly can’t say enough about this device.  I rarely draft on a computer anymore; it’s just too easy to find yourself surfing the web, falling down a research vortex, or even reading your manuscript instead of writing.  Alpha Smarts can remember what you wrote until you delete it.  That’s it.  That’s all they do.  It’s beautiful.

I write about 800 words/hr on a computer.  I write about 1,500 words/hr on an Alpha Smart.  Distractions are so, so real.

When you’re ready to port your writing from your Alpha Smart to your word processor, all you have to do is connect a printer cable to your Alpha Smart, then plug the usb end into your computer.  Open your word processor, turn on your Alpha Smart, select the file you want to transfer, and hit send.  If you forget any of this, it’s written on the back of the Alpha Smart.

I know that no one should blame their success or failure on their tools, but...  I wouldn’t be able to write nearly as much without my Alpha Smart.  And if you ever do writing meet ups, you’ll be the only person who isn’t fighting for a power outlet!  It also fits easily into a tote bag or backpack.

Oh, Alpha Smart Neo 2.  My partner and friend!

Freewrite

The Freewrite by Astrohaus is... um.  Well, it’s a lot like the Alpha Smart Neo 2, except that it’s waaaay more expensive, much harder to use, and has terrible firmware.

There are cool things about it, for sure!  For one, it has this weird...  Pseudo typewriter feel.  It’s much larger and heavier than an Alpha Smart, and I’m not sure that I actually consider it portable...  But the thick, angled base practically functions as a lap desk.  It’s comfortable to use and has a nice mechanical keyboard.

It has wifi capability, so you can send drafts directly to your dropbox/cloud/email, no cords or transfers needed.  The screen is an e-ink scree, like a Kindle Paperwhite, easy on the eyes and readable in the sun.  It’s also backlit, which is the one major win over the Alpha Smart.

I bought mine used off ebay for a fraction of the list price (this thing is NOT worth $600 on any planet, goodness gracious mercy dang!  I paid about $180), and, um...  I still don’t know if it was worth it, not when I can buy an Alpha Smart Neo 2 for $30 tops.  I mean, I like the e-ink and the backlit screen, but...  There’s a lag between typing and the words populating on the screen.  There are no arrows to fix a typo.  I had to send 10 emails back and forth to tech support to get it updated and working.  It was not broken, and I understood all the directions...  It’s just god awful firmware.  I also lost a draft because it wipes your device if you open their Sprinter program while using your Freewrite.  

I still use it, though!  The tactile sensation is really nice, the keys make a satisfying clickety clackety, the E-ink screen is lovely, I adore the option to write in a not-that-well-lit room, and the wifi transfer is faster than my Alpha Smart’s wired method.  But I still can’t recommend it as long as Alpha Smart Neo 2s are available, not unless you’re some combination of the following: a writing nut who writes so gosh dang much that these toys are worth it, someone who is big on tactile sensation, someone who likes hipster stuff, or someone who would love an Alpha Smart but can’t read the electronic screen well.  If this is you, make sure you also have a strong grasp on how to talk to and understand tech support, because you will need them.

Just never ever EVER open Sprinter...

Notebooks

Leuchtturm1917, hard cover, A5, dotted

MAY I INTRODUCE YOU TO MY LOVE, THE LEUCHTTURM NOTEBOOK.

WHERE DO I EVEN START.

The Leuchtturm is...  Just the best.  The hard cover takes abuse well, stickers hold onto it nicely, it has two ribbon bookmarks and an elastic closure, there’s a folder attached to the back inside cover...  The dot version is unobtrusive and encourages smaller writing, which helps the notebook last.  And it is available in a rainbow of colors!

The paper is lovely, the pages are numbered, and IT HAS AN INDEX.

I’m a scientist, and working in a Leuchtturm is just like working in a fancy, expensive lab notebook.  The set up is done already, man.  You just gotta jot down what pages contain what.  IT’S SO ORGANIZED, with almost zero effort!  Mi amor.

Sure, I could make an index page and number all of my pages manually...  But I’ve met myself.  I won’t do it.  When you combine all of these lovely features, you have one unbeatable notebook.

Plus, they’re easy to obtain in the states!  I order them off Amazon or buy them at my local Barnes & Nobles.

Midori MD Notebook, A5, grid

The Midori has even nicer quality paper than the Leuchtturm, but the cover can’t take abuse, and it lacks the nice features.  I truly appreciate the paper quality, but the other features bring me back to my Leuchtturms every time.

It’s a Japanese item and is more difficult to import to the states.  You can get them off Amazon, though!

Pens

I use Uni-ball Signo 207 gel pens.  They write comfortably, and using them feels satisfying.  They should be available in most Walmart/Target type stores, at least in the states!  

It should be noted that I’m just not a pen buff.  I tried fountain pens, and it was more trouble than it was worth for me.

Folios/Traveler’s Notebooks

Okay, so you found the perfect notebook!  Wanna make it SUPER DUPER FANCY PANTS?!  Well, you could try a traveler’s notebook.  

I only learned what a traveler’s notebook is about a year ago, so if you’re also in the dark...  It’s a leather cover that holds notebooks inside with elastic.  I own these chic sparrows, one for my Midori notebook (or whatever notebook I’m using at the time), and one for my journal.

My full name is etched into them, so please pardon my censorship XD

The chic sparrow traveler’s notebooks are so elegant and decadent and...  I won’t lie, I literally move one or both around the house with me, just so I can look at them.  

The one on the left is a Mr. Darcy deluxe, size A5, in the Wickham color.  The one on the right is an Enchanted Woods deluxe, size A5, in the Elderwood color.

They have lots of pockets on the inside, a pen loop, and elastics to hold multiple notebooks.  This one is strung with a Midori notebook.  I also have a smaller B6 one that I use as a wallet!  It holds a small notebook, so I can write down those ideas that always happen when I’m out and don’t have paper.  The pockets hold IDs, credit cards, and cash.

It’s just this... magical, opulent item.  While it’s likely the least practical thing on this list, it’s very special to me.

Lap Desks

I HAVE A HARRY POTTER RAVENCLAW STORAGE DESK FROM POTTERY BARN AND I FEEL LIKE A WITCH WHEN I USE IT.

Oh dear, I took a terrible picture, it looks so lovely in person.  

The top can slide in both directions, revealing enough storage for several A5 notebooks, pens, and more.  It’s a great way to cart your stuff into your favorite cozy nook for a writing session.  Plus, you’ll feel like a Hogwarts student!  It’s available in all four house designs, plus a Hogwarts crest version.

Pottery Barn puts these on sale occasionally.  I’d aim for 25% off before buying.

My Writing Bag

I decked out a tote bag in writing pins to carry my Alpha Smart, thesaurus, a notebook, and pens.  You can use any bag, as long as it accommodates what you need!  Here are my fave sources for writing-related pins:

Literary Emporium, who makes my favorite pin, “Still I Rise,” a Maya Angelou quote.  They have the most gorgeous pins.

When life gives you lemons, read them, advice for the ages

And fandom:

Digivice pin

My beloved Sailor Moon pin, the loveliest pin I’ve ever seen (not shown because it lives on my Sailor Moon jacket!).  All of the inner senshi are available!

THAT’S ALL, THAT WAS SO MUCH.  Please let me know if you try any of these out!

[theonyxpath]

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate art by Yihyoung Li

Hello, everyone! This is Dixie doing the Monday Meeting notes this week, so expect 89% fewer puns. We had a pretty short meeting this week, and focused mainly on what we and our freelancers are doing during the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak. As far as our day jobs go here at Onyx Path, it’s business as usual since we work from home, but we know that’s not the case for everyone. We have freelancers who work in healthcare, some who are immunocompromised or otherwise susceptible, and then others who have to take care of older family members or small children as cancellations continue.

In addition to anyone directly impacted by the outbreak, there’s also the spate of conventions being cancelled, and many people have had to postpone/cancel trips and events. this is very much still a developing situation, and we encourage our freelancers and fans to take measures to keep themselves safe and healthy. While some people may think, “Oh, this will mean everyone can get a lot of their freelance work done while they’re self-isolating!” that’s not always going to be the case (childcare, housemates all being home, etc.) but we’re working with our freelancers as best we can.

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate art by Gunship Revolution

The Onyx Pathcast hosts in particular would like to apologize if anyone thought we were making light of the COVID-19 outbreak in last week’s episode. I assure you, everyone here is taking it seriously.

That said, self-isolation can be difficult if you’re used to being around people, including gathering for tabletop games, so our friends at Astral Virtual TableTop are giving everyone their paid features for free during this time! There’s a post about it here: https://ift.tt/2TTFS5O, but your account should already have the features unlocked.

That’s all well and good, you might say, but I don’t have any new games to try out! Well, we’ve got you covered on that front, too. Today, you can pick up V20 Dark Ages for free at DriveThruRPG, and we’re putting up a new free corebook every day this week. They’re only up for one day each folks, so make sure you grab the ones you want!

You can get V20 Dark ages here today: https://ift.tt/2QjDtiw

Tuesday we’ll be offering the Werewolf 20 core here: https://ift.tt/38RNqdL

Wednesday is Mage 20: https://ift.tt/2IU0dBE

Thursday is Changeling 20: https://ift.tt/3b2fJr8

And we’re wrapping up the week by descending into the Underworld with Wraith 20: https://ift.tt/2vwtfEA

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate art by Gong Studios

In other news, the Legendlore Kickstarter is ongoing, and we’re close to halfway funded! I, personally, am a big fan of the setting. As Ian A. A. Watson put it on Twitter:

Do you like El-Hazard, Alice in Wonderland, Labyrinth, Wizard of Oz, Chronicles of Narnia, Neverending Story, Magic Kingdom of Landover, Apprentice Adept, Castle Perilous, or the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon?

@VonAether

If so, this book is for you. Check it out and read manuscript updates here: https://ift.tt/2x03Pzp

Another cool thing you can do while you’re home is to attend Gehenna Gaming‘s VirtualHorror Con April 4-6. From the website:

VirtualHorror Con is a two-day virtual horror tabletop RPG convention that can be experienced on any screen no matter where you are. Many of your favorite events and conventions have been canceled, but that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the convention experience. This event will give fans and players the opportunity to connect with the game developers, artists, and publishers they love. No lines. Safe social distancing. Horror-themed actual play streams, live panels, and digital tabletop RPG one-shot sessions running the whole time!

All ticket and raffle sales will go to the COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund for the World Health Organization to support the development of vaccines, tests, and treatments for the coronavirus pandemic.”

For more information, check out https://ift.tt/2TTwcbC

There isn’t much else that came out of our meeting, as people are just buckling down to get some work done and continue monitoring the situation. We’re still working on the Dragon-Blooded surprise and will have that out to backers as soon as we can! So stay safe, wash your hands, and as always…

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

As noted above, Legendlore is in its first week of Kickstarter! Please go check it out; it’s a truly awesome book, compatible with the world’s most popular fantasy roleplaying game!

Onyx Path Media!

This week, we’re talking Scarred Lands with Travis Legge!

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

Despite everything in the world right now, or maybe because of it, we’ve got a massive number of shows for you on Twitch this week. Please tune in for an enjoyable distraction! We’re going to have three games of V5, as well as Chronicles of Darkness, Pugmire, Hunter: The Vigil, Changeling: The Lost, Mage: The Awakening, Scarred Lands, and a Dark Eras Werewolf: The Forsaken chronicle! 

This week sees the finale of Blood City as well as the finale of Uptown Shadows. I would like to give major recognition to both streams for their fantastic work in bringing our games out to the audience. Thank you! You can subscribe to our channel over on twitch.tv/theonyxpath to catch up with any episodes you missed! (Another great idea for social distancing!)

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

Scion: Behind the Screen: https://youtu.be/v9Wo38rl5-Y

Changeling: The Lost – Littlebrook Reunion: https://youtu.be/hxSbemynBLs

Changeling: The Dreaming – The Last Faerie Tale: https://youtu.be/gKAm-zGxTW4

Even more Scion: Behind the Screen: https://youtu.be/QDSIS_ClFbE

Pugmire: Paws & Claws: https://youtu.be/Ddm-cl48OR0

And even more Changeling: The Lost: https://youtu.be/dqM0ZdeS88s

Do subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

The Story Told RPG Podcast reaches the penultimate episode of their excellent Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition chronicle right here: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/the-78-laments-episode-4-passenger

And if you missed it, here’s The Story Told’s review of Trinity Continuum: Aeon http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/episode-40-trinity-continuum-on-overview

Red Moon Roleplaying’s V5 Cults of the Blood Gods “The Family” chronicle continues on their YouTube channel, Spotify, their website redmoonroleplaying.com and everywhere else good podcasts might be found! https://youtu.be/PDPZyy-ZHNw

More new Occultists Anonymous for all you Mage: The Awakening fans out there:

Episode 88: Arms and Armor – Wyrd has a terrible premonition about the strike on the vampire Prince. The cabal helps ready Songbird when she is called to action by the Adamantine Arrow.  https://youtu.be/WPHjGDGwRmQ

Episode 89: Tactical Yeet – Songbird enters the vampire Prince’s haven with a small team of Adamantine Arrows while the rest of the cabal scrys on the proceedings. Things don’t go according to plan, in several ways.https://youtu.be/r5zuU4UglYs

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

Update: the devs are working on the updates for the roller in both Android and iOS; here is the rundown from them:

1) Redo the UI for system for Android. It will look the same as the current design. My goal is to have something ready by Saturday to send out to the Facebook users, asking them if this fixes the issues. This will be a beta type thing. This will break several of the fancy dice.

2) If the above worked out and the android users give all the clear, we’ll redo the graphics system to fix the fancy dice that got broken. We’ll do another Android beta through Facebook. This might take up to two weeks, as my schedule allows.

3) If everything worked well, we’ll release to Android for real at that point.

4) Port all of the existing stuff to iOS and release on that.

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This week, Geist: The Sin-Eaters Second Edition will be available on Studio2, IPR, and DriveThruRPG! Yay!

Conventions!

Though it’s subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s our current list of upcoming conventions:

UKGames Expo: https://www.ukgamesexpo.co.uk/

GenCon: https://www.gencon.com/

Tabletop Scotland: https://tabletopscotland.co.uk/

Gamehole Con: https://www.gameholecon.com/

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

(We know why you’re here.

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Scarred Lands – RUST (working title)

TC Aeon – Under Alien Suns

TC Aeon – Mission Statements

TC Aberrant – Novas Worldwide

Exalted 3rd – Adversaries of the Righteous

Exalted – Exalted: Essence Edition

Deviant the Renegades – The Clades Companion

Deviant the Renegades – The Devoted Companion

Scion – Saints and Monsters

Mage: The Ascension – Rich Bastard’s Guide to Magick

Scion – Wild Hunt

Redlines

Exalted 3rd – Dragon-Blooded Novella 2 (Roy)

TC Adventure – Adventure!

Exalted 3rd – Hundred Devils Night Parade

Mummy: The Curse – The Book of Lasting Death

Chronicles of Darkness – Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters

TC Aberrant – N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment

Second Draft

Exalted 3rd – Exigents

Exalted 3rd – Crucible of Legends

Exalted – Many-Faced Strangers (Lunars Companion)

Changeling: The Lost – Kith and Kin

They Came From – They Came from Beyond the Grave!

Trinity Continuum – Assassins

Development

Exalted 3rd – Heirs to the Shogunate

TC Aberrant – Aberrant Reference Screen

Exalted 3rd – Across the Eight Directions

Chronicles of Darkness – The Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks

Mage the Ascension – Victorian Mage

Manuscript Approval

Scion – Scion: Dragon

Scion – Masks of the Mythos

Scion – Scion: Demigod

Post-Approval Development

Scion: Origin and Hero LARP

Geist the Sin-Eaters: One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart

Editing

Legendlore – Legendlore  

Realms of Pugmire – Pirates of Pugmire additional adventure

TC Aeon – Terra Firma

Exalted – Lunars Novella (Rosenberg)

Realms of Pugmire – Buried Bones: Creating in the Realms of Pugmire  

They Came From – Tales of Aquatic Terror

Mummy: The Curse – Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition  

Scion – Titanomachy

Chronicles of Darkness – Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle  

Chronicles of Darkness – Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart

TC Aberrant – Aberrant Jumpstart

Trinity Continuum – Jumpstart

Post-Editing Development

Hunter: The Vigil – Hunter: The Vigil 2e

World of Darkness – Ghost Hunters

Deviant: The Renegades – Deviant: The Renegades

TCfBtS! – Monsters of the Deep

Indexing

They Came From Beneath the Sea! (TCfBtS!)

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Scion Titanomachy

Tales of Aquatic Terror 

TC Aeon Terra Firma – Contracted

V5 Let the Streets Run Red

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

WoD Ghost Hunters – Getting KS artwork going

Aberrant

Pugmire Adventure 

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2 – ADing that out post Aberrant AD

Deviant

Legendlore – Kickstarter in progress

Technocracy Reloaded (KS)

Cults of the Blood God (KS) – Contracting

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet

Contagion Chronicle

Vigil Watch 

Scion Companion – Artwork in progress.

Proofing

Trinity Aeon Jumpstart 

Pirates of Pugmire 

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – Inputting proofing comments

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate

At Press

Ex 3 The Silence of Our Ancestors (Huggins Novella)

TC Distant Worlds

Scion Mythical Denizens

Night Horrors : Nameless and Accursed – Errata gathering

Dark Eras 2 – Errata with Aileen

VtR Spilled Blood – Josh wrapping up inputting changes and tweaking layout to account for any shift in the text

Geist 2e – Out this week

Dystopia Rising: Evolution

DR:E Screen & Booklet

DR:E Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties

Geist 2e Screen

Memento Mori

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Indexing

Chicago Folios – Awaiting PoD proof

Geist 2e Anthology – Errata gathering

C:tL 2e Oak, Ash, & Thorn – Errata gathering

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

Yesterday was the Ides of March and tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day! Please celebrate either one responsibly and while practicing safe social distancing. Also, today is my stepmom’s birthday! I don’t usually get to do shout-outs on the blog, but since I’ve taken over today I’m indulging myself. Happy Birthday, Laura! Hope you and dad are having a blast (still while practicing safe social distancing).

[granddaughterogg]

Azrael is a kinkster, yo. Azrael/Reader. Lemons ahead! Part 1

Chapter 1

Foreplay

Some people just burst with sexual energy. Their stare strikes sparks, their body language is hypnotising. You have serious trouble listening to what they say, because your mind is occupied with... very nonverbal things. You’ve met quite a few of such people lately. Azrael is not one of them. If you had to describe Azrael in one word, it would probably be: decent. Of course, the Archangel of Death possesses a lot more traits than this. He’s wise. He’s also candid, tactful and immensely empathetic. Yeah, he overflows with empathy. You’ve yet to see him lose his temper. Which is no small feat, considering how easy it would be to crack the shits in the company of your beloved Darksiders. Hell, there are moments when even you get a bit overwhelmed. They are four very distinctive personalities who bicker a lot.

There are days when Death is being more difficult than usual, War is pouting somewhere in the corner, Fury lashes out at everyone and Strife decides it’s the perfect time to tell a poop joke.   You told him once what you think about poop jokes. Remains to be seen if the message has come through. On days like this you feel like pulling your hair out. Enter Azrael. Azrael the tactful, Azrael the charming. Azrael with this level, kind, yet irresistible voice of his. And magic happens. You suspect that the key to the angel’s success is that he respects everyone. He believes in equality. And his attitude comes through. He brings out the best in people. He and War are practically war buddies. Even though you find it impossible to imagine how their cooperation looked like. Death is actually fond of him; and people who Death’s fond of could be counted using fingers on a sawmiller’s hand. A very unlucky sawmiller’s hand. Fury loses her aggressive attitude when Azrael is around. Even Strife, who doesn’t like the guy that much – begrudgingly respects him. You feel that the angel should work in NATO. He could save humanity from many wars. That said, those are all not very sexy traits. You fail to imagine Azrael engaging in anything erotic. Of course, you’re a big girl now - and aware that it doesn’t take a testosterone-addled hunk to have an interesting sex life. Never the less, your angelic acquaintance always looks way too occupied with more important matters. Much more important. Speaking of looks. He isn’t classically attractive, but has a great profile. And beautiful hands. You always watch them eagerly whenever they emerge from all those fancy sleeves. Oops. Anyway, you two are now friends, right? It’s been a few months since War took you on a trip to Heaven. You’ve visited quite a few times since. Sometimes accompanied by one of the Horsemen, sometimes by all of them. The angel and the Darksiders had their own pressing matters to discuss, of course. But Azrael always made sure that you feel important and welcome. He would brew you great tea (seriously, you’ve never tasted better.) You two would talk at length; mostly about books. This guy is a crazy book magpie. He collects them all. Angel ones, human ones. he’s not too haughty to read the demonic ones either. If something has been written down, Azrael sooner or later will get his shapely, narrow hands on it. And then he’ll sniff it.   He probably sniffs books.

I require pleasant company for the weekend.   Would you care to come alone?

You got this mail on a Friday afternoon.   Really terse, considering who the sender was. If, say, Strife wrote it – you’d suspect that someone clobbered his head with a thesaurus. But emails from Azrael were usually at least one page long. And he wasted entire paragraphs asking you about the weather, about how you were doing and so on. This message was almost...sloppy. Hectic. You pondered a little. Reminisced his subtle smile and those pretty hands, caressing some large-ass tome. Azrael probably obtained a first edition of Balzac or some such and he couldn’t wait to show it to you. Well, you were down with that.

Sure, I’ll come around. Just give me about two Earth hours, okay? I’ll pack the essentials and also change into something spiffy.

Excellent. I’ll open a portal next to your house. And yes, please do dress nicely. Although you always do.

Oh Azrael, you smooth-tongued lad. „Guys, I’m going to Heaven for the weekend” you proclaimed, standing in the doorway of your shared living room. (Yes, you and the Horsemen live together. You’ve bought a house. But it’s a different story for another time.) There were no objections to that. All Four had a day off from their murderous duties. They spent whole Friday lazing around on sofas, watching youtube or just dozing off. You’ve already learned that the Horsemen are like predators in that department. They don’t spend energy unless they have to.   „So. You’re going now?” muttered War. He was lying on his back, one arm tucked under his head, the other – the iron one – hanging limply. It already carved a trace on the wooden floor. „Well, yeah. Azrael invited me” you answered absentmindedly.  „Now I need to do my hair...no, first I need a bath!” Death was resting on another sofa nearby. He raised his head a little and gave you an inquiring stare. It was short and piercing, like a tiny electric shock. „Loosen up, girl” chuckled Strife. He had both of his eyes closed. A PS4 pad and a half-eaten doughnut rested on his tight abdomen; remnants of impulsive decisions, defeated by idleness. Sometimes you wondered how is it even possible to eat so much junk and still look like Strife does. „Whatever you’ll do, he’s still gonna be the sharpest dresser.” „Yeah right, but I don’t mean just him, but all the other angels, too. I don’t want his colleagues from work to think that he’s friends with some uncivilised slob…” „Colleagues from work” said War slowly and pensively, as he often does. „That’s a flattering way to put it, when he rules them all with an iron fist. You know that, don’t you? No lesser angel will dare to offend you. And if one does… „...then we’ll come over and have a chat with them” finished Strife. „It’s been some time since I’ve plucked pigeons.” „Thanks, guys. I appreciate that” you said, genuinely grateful. „But I’ll feel so much better about myself if I doll up. You know how Azrael is...so posh and all.” „He’s hella boring though” said Strife. „What are even you gonna do with him for two days straight? Drink his wretched tea?” „That too, yes.” You smiled. „But I can feel it in my water that it’s about a book.” You’ve been already closing the bathroom door behind you, when Strife said in a hushed voice: „It’s always about some book. That guy’s a pervert.” „Stop it, Strife. ” That was War. ‘What? I call it like it is.” Fury said nothing, because she was fast asleep. She snored tiny cute snores. Death might be a big, intimidating mass of bone and sinew. But he can move like a soft pool of shadow if he chooses to. He did just that to get you at the very doorstep. Away from the others’ earshot. „So, when can we expect you to come back?” He was standing next to the coat stand. You had no idea how he managed to blend in with the wall. As usual.   His voice was relaxed, but you could feel the tightness lacing the words. „Azrael’s gonna send me back on Sunday evening” you said, looking into this closed off, seemingly impassive face. You knew it so well. „Death. Are you worried about me? I’m going to Heaven. Heaven. What could possibly go wrong in there?” ‘I’m not worried” he said, observing some wall crack right to your head. „Azrael is my friend. I’d entrust him with my life. I’m just...ascertaining things.” You let out a deep sigh. You felt so sorry for this man, unable to spit out a simple „I’m gonna miss you” even if his life depended on it.   But that’s what he was saying. With all his body language. His back bent slightly more, his hands hanging a little looser than usual. As if the sadness weighed on him. You embraced him - abruptly, before he had a chance to step back. You pressed your cheek to his hard, exposed torso, which (contrary to the folk stories that we humans sometimes tell each other) wasn’t cold at all. „I love you so much, you know?” you whispered into his left pectoral. That horrible scar has long disappeared without a trace. „I am going to be back home on Sunday evening. Even if Azrael conjures me a truck of books. I promise.” Death’s large hands embraced your shoulder blades. The Horseman closed his eyes and pulled you close. Very close. And then he let go. „I know. Have fun.”

Heaven! Are there even words in any human language that could describe its glory? I don’t think so. What if I tell you guys that everything is high-rise and steep and haughty in there? That everything is luxurious, but never vulgar – and constantly bathed in subtle golden light? Are you going to be satisfied then? Angels live above the clouds. Rainy day is just an expression for them. Wait. I’ve got it.Imagine an Apple store which has been designed by Michelangelo. That was Heaven. Azrael lived in a lavish apartment at the top of one of the White City’s spires. At least you guessed that there must be more rooms than just this huge one. In which you’ve spent so many evenings, chatting passionately about this and that. A spacious room with a decorative rib vault and a shit ton of books everywhere. Books upon books. Carved bookshelves crammed with tomes; some covered in wood, some in silk or even animal hide. A whole lot of regular cardboard covers, too. Azrael updated his collection on a regular basis. Many of those human books were gifts from you. There were also scrolls of parchment and papyrus stacked together and threatening to fall over. Heck, you’re sure that you’ve spotted a bunch of dusty clay tablets in a corner.   Next Christmas this guy is getting a Kindle. You sat in two soft, obscenely comfortable armchairs, covered with slightly worn out periwinkle velvet. Soft music poured from somewhere – relaxed, jazzy downtempo. You had no idea where do they get these earthy tunes from in Heaven. For all that you knew, Azrael wasn’t familiar with spotify. You drank the tea. This time it was green jasmine. With a drop of acacia honey added for good measure. It tasted like the first day of spring. Azrael put the cup aside, rested a cheek on his hand and gave you a gentle smile. „What are you thinking about?” You smiled back at him. „I think that you look ravishing today. That colour” - he pointed at your peach dress - „really showcases the tone of your skin.” „Wow. Thanks” you said. Internally you were squeeing in delight like an excited teenager. Azrael could be so chivalrous. OK, you thought, that’s enough with this line of thinking. Get your shit together, woman, before you tip something over and embarrass yourself. „All right”, you said, putting your cup away; the fine china clinked on the marble tabletop. „Nice little chat that we’re having. Don’t keep me waiting though. Bring out the book! The angel tilted his silver head ever so slightly. His eyes glinted with amusement. „The book? I beg your pardon?” „Well, it is about a book, isn’t it? Like usual. Some rare first edition long out of print, which you really wanted to share with me...Right? Azrael?” His eyes were as milky and opalescent as a cloud. And as serene. You started to blush under this constant stare. „What?" you asked, annoyed a little. His narrow lips curled up in a cryptic smile. „Come on, it’s not funny.” „Indeed” he said slowly. „I’m afraid that I owe you an apology. I lied.” „You...did what?!... When? Also, is lying even legal for you?” „Just right now. I wasn’t thinking about your dress, even though it is quite lovely. I was thinking...” he reached out with his long, slender arm. His fingers stopped mid-air, a mere inch away from your face. „...that I would like to kiss you.” There was a pause. During which your whole world twirled around, stood on its head and fell back to normal. Normal enriched with new, exciting possibilities, that is. "Oh. Right. Sure! I mean, go on. I can’t see why not…” What started as a nervous chirp ended in a mumble. Azrael put two fingers on your lips. You parted it; it was quite instinctive, really. You wanted him to touch you where you were soft and moist. He did just that. For a briefest of moments. Than he took his hand away. „Come here” he said in a low voice. „Okay. You mean...me, there? Right, that makes sense. God!” you whined. „ I’m so akward.” „Let’s keep God out of this” Azrael said with such a face that it was practically a wink. But then again, you had yet to see the Angel of Death winking. You stood up, not quite sure where your legs are – and came over to him as he asked. Azrael sat back in his armchair and pat his lap in an encouraging manner. It was the most un-Azrael thing that you’ve ever witnessed him do. Up until today. When the count of surprises was really going to pile up. You were in such a daze that for a moment there you forgot how to sit on another person’s lap. Especially when said lap is completely covered with sophisticated, flowy, floor-length angel robes. „I said: come here”  chuckled Azrael. „Do you mind if I?...” he gestured explanatorily. You nodded. Stupid redness burned your cheeks. Azrael put his hands around your waist, lifted you up and put on his knees as if you were a cat. The silk rustled. He smelled nice. Definitely non-angelic. Like...roses, maybe?   You knew that scent, you just couldn’t put your finger on it. „What now?” you whispered, stricken with this dumb, embarrassing shyness which you haven’t felt in such a long time. Which you hoped to never feel again. It wasn’t like that with the Darksiders. Not at all. Sometimes they would scare you. Or dumbfound you. But none of them has ever made you feel so small. Not like this highly restrained, immaculately dressed, back-combed man does.   A man with beautiful cheekbones. That much was evident now, when you sat so close. They really were top notch. „Can I?...” you breathed. He nodded smilingly. All this time he didn’t break eye contact.   You touched his cheek. It was pleasantly cool and softer than yours could ever be. Also, his face was covered with delicate fuzz, as bright as frost. „Do you even shave, Azrael?” „That is one peculiar question to ask” he said, still smiling. „That is one peculiar question to ask” you repeated, leaning in desperately and closing your eyes. „Kiss me then.” He weaved fingers into your hair and pulled your head in so sharply that you trembled. And then he kissed you. He was gentle - at first. Tested your boundaries. But you had no patience for such subtlety anymore. You immersed both of your hands in angelic locks and moaned urgently, while you pressed your lips to his. Well, you didn’t have to tell him twice.   He laughed breathlessly at such eagerness and went in with the tongue. And what a brilliant, flexible and knowing tongue he had. As expected of an angel. Time stretched like the most polite and accommodating of rubber bands, so a thousand years (or two minutes) later you were all taut as a bowstring. And rather wet. When it comes to the technique, his was definitely second to none. Azrael was the figure skating master of kissing. Those nimble lips of his were driving you crazy. He knew what he was doing to you. And he was savouring it. „Mmmm...mhm! Don’t stop!” you groaned when the angel finally broke contact. He let out a small chuckle - and suddenly bit your lip. „Azrael!” you cried out. He smirked so smugly you wouldn’t believe it if you didn’t see it. You had no idea that this noble face is even capable of such a dirty expression. „Stop...laughing...at me!” You were in a daze. You lunged forward and bit him back. Azrael cried out a little and touched his lip. It was bleeding. You have drawn angelic blood. It was as bright red as your own. That chilled you the fuck down. „Oh, shit. I’m sorry!” you called, terrified. „I’m so sorry! I got carried away. Carried away...with you.” Azrael wiped his lip and shot you an inscrutable stare. Only now have you noticed how wildly dilated his pupils are. The vivid blush that coloured his pale cheeks. He wasn’t toying with you. He went along for the ride. „I wasn’t laughing at you” he said. „How could I? I was laughing TO you. Because you’re just so ardent. Impulsive. You feel a physical sensation and you follow it with reckless abandon. I happen to think that it’s amazing.” You felt like an utter moron. Something incredible has just happened. You had this little moment of magic, Azrael and you. And you had to destroy it. You let your worst instincts take the wheel. Just because this man made you feel inferior. „I apologise for at” you said, gently touching his bitten lip.   „I would never want to hurt you like that. I have no manners. Maybe I should just go.” „What?...” Those pearlescent eyes went wide with surprise. „What are you talking about, my dear? Please don’t. That…” - he touched his lip - ”is nothing. A trifle unworthy of my attention. At least when compared with what I intend to do to you.” „What?”   Despite your desperate suggestion, you stayed still in his arms. Your heart was pounding. Your body ached for more pleasure. You didn’t want to go anywhere. And Azrael was holding you quite firmly. „I planned to be prudent and unhurried” he stated, shaking his head with a little rueful smile, as if admonishing himself.   „But with you...such approach is pointless. You’re like a flame. You burn through my reason.” He put his fingers on your swollen, wanting lips again. You let him slide them in this time. Slide them deeper than neither prudence nor unhurriedness would suggest. You sucked on them and you looked him in the eye, feeling crazy fearless. Suddenly you didn’t care whether you come off as uncivilised anymore. „I am going to undress you and tie you up. And then maybe I will whip you” said Azrael, looking you in the face with a tender smile.   „I haven’t decided on that last one yet.” Oh. Oh. You felt like an ice cube melting on fire. Does that metaphor even make sense? An urgent, eager flame licked your innards. „The question being of course: what do you say to that?” „Yes!’ you cried out. „Oh, please, do it! I’m in. Yes to all of the above.” He kissed you again – deep and hard. Unabashed. You didn’t even try to stifle the moan that rose in your throat. „I can see that we are on the same page here” he breathed into your lips. Then he pressed his to the skin at the nape of your neck. You inhaled sharply. „I am so glad that that is the case.” ‘Wait” you huffed, putting both hands on the embroidered front of his shirt. „Did you just say: undress, tie up and whip then?” „I said exactly that.” It was amazing how quickly Azrael could put on that official, venerable face of his.   "And then I’m going to fuck you.” „Good! I was just about to ask that...” It was worth it. If only to see how this self-satisfied son of something holy loses his composure. And regains it in a split second. „And not even once” he added. „Not twice either. There is a probability that by Sunday morning you’ll start to cry and beg me to stop fucking you.” You threw him a breathless, shit eating grin. Your direct future looked positively – heavenly. “Wonderful. I can beg alright, if it turns you on.” „Very. You shall see for yourself.” There was something in his half-lidded stare that made your insides tingle.

[ancientbrit]

Natter # 6     7/26/2020

I love books. I have a passion for them - always have. My parents were the catalyst really. My Dad would read to my sister and me when we went to bed; stories from a huge volume of The Brothers Grimm and Aesops Fables with fine, thin pages and wonderful, colored plates by Arthur Rackham, protected by sheets of parchment. You could lose yourself in the tales and those wonderful illustrations; we did and I wish we still had that book. We would go out for long walks in the countryside and always packed along a couple of books on birds, plants, and animals for identification purposes. My Mother would take us to the public library, a 213 bus ride away to Worcester Park and we would ride back home triumphant with tales about Mumfie the Elephant and others. Books were always welcomed as birthday and Christmas gifts amongst others and when a public library was set up in our village I was one of the very first to join and I took out a book entitled “Tropical Aquarium Fishes} by William T Innes I had that ook exclusively for over a year. The library was within walking distance along Anne Boleyns Walk so it suited me very well. At school when the class was made to stand and read aloud one by one around the room, when it reached my turn I could never find the place because I was always about three pages ahead. I couldn't stand the slow pace that reading out loud produced. I began to develop a taste for adventure books where the same characters were repeated in subsequent volumes, such as in Arthur Ransome's children's book series, starting with "Swallows and Amazons." I always thought the illustrations were sort of crude sketches but the stories were great. I bought a set for my kids but somehow they never seemed to appeal to them. During the war, American comics were really desirable and they were hard to get. A little girl who lived just around the corner had relations in the States who would send her most of the popular comics of the day - be worth a fortune now no doubt. We found out about this and soon we had developed a bartering system - English comics for American comics. One of the American comics characters was a boy who was always getting into adventures  & scrapes and getting out of them by building various things. What used to fascinate me about this was at the bottom of the pages were instructions on how to build the things that he had used. How to build a passenger rail car with lighted windows from an old shoebox, or a searchlight from a shaving soap container. That phrase "how to make...." has stayed with me for all my life and it still has the power to draw me in; I love to make things. Much more on this later. I became involved and interested in mechanical things and my Uncle Jim next door had a wealth of interesting gadgets which he used to shower on me. Old clocks, crystal sets, old firearms and on. I loved all of these and started taking them apart to see how they worked. Some I even returned to working condition. But eventually, prime movers and engines of all sorts started to take precedence and it peaked when our next-door neighbor on the left, at whose engineering company I later worked on Saturdays, took me and his daughter, Mary, to the Model Engineering Exhibition in London. I don't think Mary had any interest what so ever but I was in seventh heaven, looking at all the model steam locomotives, engines and everything mechanical - and they all worked, they weren't just pretty static models, they were actually miniature pieces of engineering and not long after this I started to subscribe to the magazine “Model Engineer” which I would read avidly from cover to cover, even the ads.This quite naturally led into yet another type of book and ended with my favorite author of all time - Neville Shute.

Mr Shute was a qualified engineer who was involved in the disastrous R-100 & R-101 airship designs between the wars at the same time as the Hindenburg was flying between Germany and New York. Airships turned out to be dead-end technology and the only thing remaining of it in England are the two massive hangers which used to house them. When I joined the RAF I visited this station and at that time they were the biggest single-storey buildings I had ever seen. Mr Shute continued in the aeronautics field by starting his own aircraft manufacturing company - Airspeed, which produced one twin-engined aircraft  - The Oxford. This was a conventional passenger aircraft and was quite successful, but it wasn't what he was looking for really and he started to write fiction. His early works did not involve engineering, but I guess that the old saw - write  what you know, finally enabled him to write winners, with four of his books having been made into winning films, all of which I have seen. In one period he flew his own aircraft to Australia, which became special to him with some of his best stories taking place there. But in my opinion, his best by far was his final story, completed and published not long before he died. It was serialized in the national press and a few months later the book appeared on the street, it was "Trustee from the Toolroom." This book had everything for me. It centered around a humble little guy, Keith, living in a suburb of London, whose mission in life was designing and building engineering miniatures and describing the building process in a model engineering magazine.His sister had married well to a wealthy naval officer and they had a little girl.

Just after the war, England was still rationed until about 1954 and the whole economy was geared towards earning dollars to pay off the huge dept owed to America for all the munitions and food they had sold to England when our backs were to the wall. One of the strictures placed on Brits who fancied traveling abroad at that time was that you couldn't take more than $500 out of the country. This naval officer and his wife wanted to emigrate to Canada in their yacht, leaving their little girl with Keith and his wife to be sent for when they arrived.They had a problem in they had converted his wife's jewelry into negotiable diamonds and wanted his brother in law to help him hide the diamonds in the yacht, which he did. Making this a bit shorter, the yacht foundered off an island in the Pacific and Keith considered it his job to get out there to try and recover the diamonds for the little girl. Not having the money, through contacts he had made writing for the magazine, he was able to scrounge a trip by air to Honolulu, from an airfield just along the road from where Jean & I lived. From Honolulu he picked up a lift from a weird guy who had sailed from the USA in a boat he had built himself. There is a lot more to this story, but after locating the diamonds he ends up landing in Seattle and driving down to Portland where he helps a timber tycoon with a problem he was having building a clock that Keith had designed. The whole story was extremely satisfying for me, touching so many points with which I was familiar and I must have read it at least a half dozen times. The films that were made from his books were:- "A town like Alice", "No Highway" (starred Jimmy Stewart and Marlene Dietrich), "On the beach" (Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner) and "The Pied Piper" (Monty Wooley). "On the beach" was a rather grim story about the aftermath of Global Nuclear War, which was a distinct possibility at that time. I have almost all of the books he wrote with the exception of a couple from very early days - still searching for those. Yet another writer of future aftermath stories was John Wyndham who wrote The Day of the Triffids, The Kraken wakes and Chrysalids - all cracking good yarns which I happen to have as a book containing all three stories. This is another that I have read multiple times; I also have  Kindle, a present from my son, which I have used occasionally, but it is not the same as holding a physical book in my hands. Books are - special and I like the fact that I can go to one whenever I feel like it and take down an old friend and feel instantly at home. All you need is a comfortable chair and enough light to read by and you are satisfied. I also like the fact that there is no battery to go down! Your fearless leader, trying to maintain some sort of contact with you all. Stay safe and hopeful - it WILL all come right one day! Gordon

[eternalstereksecretsanta]

can't wait to unwrap your package

@ritarmandi | AO3 | I hope you like it! Happy holiday!

Derek is notorious for giving terrible gifts, from the time he got his high school girlfriend the worst smelling perfume on the face of the earth to the time he got Stiles strawberry fudge, completely forgetting that Stiles is allergic to strawberries. This year, he finds the perfect gift for Stiles: a Polish grimoire. But looks can be deceiving and the book of spells may not be as innocent as he anticipated.

Gift giving had never been Derek’s forte.

When he was younger, way back in sixth grade, he had participated in a class Secret Santa exchange. The name he had picked out of the hat belonged to a girl that Derek hadn’t known very well.

She always wore rose barrettes in her dark brown hair and sunflower patterned dresses on warm days. Derek had figured a potted plant was the perfect gift.

Apparently not considering the girl ran out of the classroom screaming and crying when Derek presented her with the potted pansies. According to one of the girl’s friends, she was terrified of bugs, even the innocuous ladybug that had been resting on one of the pansy petals.

In high school, he’d had a similar experience with his first girlfriend, Paige. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, Derek had found himself running around town looking for the right gift.

He had ended up having to ask his older sister, something Laura had held over his head for months. She had suggested something classy and romantic, like fancy chocolates and perfume.

Instead of taking the easy route with a cheap chocolate assortment, Derek had devoted himself to finding Paige a bottle of perfume. His overachieving ways led him to yet another gift giving disaster.

While at the store, perusing through displays of various perfumes and cologne, Derek hadn’t bothered to actually smell any of the perfumes. His sensitive nose had already been irritated enough by all the scents of the mall.

He had simply read the labels on all of the perfumes, trying to guess which one would complement Paige’s natural scent. After hours of searching, Derek had settled on a reasonably priced bottle of perfume promising a musky, woody scent with floral notes.

It had sounded perfect. But in reality, it was the farthest thing from it.

Paige had eagerly tried it out the day Derek gave it to her. And she had promptly gagged on the overbearing scent of old ladies and rotting trees.

Derek had nearly been sick, the horrible, dated scent immediately giving him a migraine from hell. He’d had to avoid Paige for a week afterwards, the scent still clinging to her skin.

A year or so later, he ended up giving a maniacal murderess the keys to his family’s home as a gift thanks to his teenaged tendency to think with his dick instead of his brain. And, well, everyone knew how that had ended.

For the next several years, he hadn’t had to bother getting anyone gifts, alleviating the pressure of being a horrible gift giver. But considering the fact that he was now dating the guy who always seemed to give the most perfect gifts, it was time for him to get better at it. And fast.

He hadn’t done so well last year.

Aside from getting Erica the wrong shade of lipstick — he had gotten her cream pink when she only wore shades of red — and buying Isaac a video game that he already owned he had screwed up royally with Stiles.

After weeks of agonizing over what to get his new boyfriend for their first Christmas together, Derek had finally decided on what he had hoped would be the perfect gift. He had visited the local bakery that Stiles had dragged him to countless times and bought two pounds of strawberry swirled fudge.

He even had a whole spiel ready about why he picked out the fudge for Stiles; it was sweet, like Stiles, and the swirls of strawberry were pink, which was close enough to Stiles’ favorite color red, though Erica may have disagreed.

Derek had been extremely confident, sure that Stiles would be delighted by his gift and hail Derek as the best boyfriend ever. Okay, maybe he wasn’t that confident, but he had been pretty optimistic.

Of course, that optimism had been completely shattered the day before Christmas when the pack had gathered at the loft to exchange gifts.

Stiles had torn into the shiny wrapping paper covering his gift with all the unbridled enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning. His face had lit up brighter than a Christmas tree when he saw the logo of the bakery on the box.

When he had yanked the top of the box off, his smile had faltered. To anyone else, it probably wouldn’t have been noticeable, but Derek had seen it and it had sent his high hopes plummeting to earth in a fiery blaze to outdo Icarus.

“Oh, Derek, I love it,” Stiles had cooed, but his voice had been devoid of any real enthusiasm. Placing the lid back on the box of fudge, Stiles had looked up at Derek with a sad little smile as he explained, “But I can’t eat it. I’m allergic to strawberries.”

Derek hadn’t believed his ears, except that he did because of course, he had screwed up again. He had given Stiles the one thing that he was allergic to.

Over the next week, Derek had worked his way through the box of fudge, every bite more bitter than the last.

This year, he was a bit more confident that the gifts he picked out for the other members of the pack would be much better received. Mostly because Stiles had helped him out with the shopping.

For hours they had wandered around the local county mall, picking out all sorts of things for the pack. Derek didn’t know how Stiles did it, but he managed to find perfect, wonderful things for everyone without breaking a sweat.

He found a pair of emerald drop earrings that were guaranteed to make Erica drool along with a new pair of leather boots for her since her last pair had gotten ruined the previous full moon. Derek bought the earrings and Stiles bought the boots, brushing off all of Derek’s offers to pay for everything.

He had subsequently found Boyd a fancy coffee maker, that Derek paid for, and a new Kindle, that Stiles paid for. And a new camera and fashionable scarf for Isaac, mostly so he could continue to tease the beta about his scarf fetish.

Their day had continued on like that for hours as Stiles found the perfect gifts for everyone from Kira — a stand mixer for her new apartment and a six month subscription to Birchbox — to Peter — a fancy wine decanter and a set of whiskey stones, mostly because if there was one thing Peter loved more than being a dick for the hell of it, it was high quality alcohol.

Derek had desperately tried to find something that Stiles would appreciate as a gift. While window shopping, Stiles had pointed out something in a shop window, commenting that it was nice.

Derek had immediately offered to buy it for him, insisting that Stiles could just act surprised when he opened it in front of the pack. Stiles had demurred with a fond eye roll, leaning heavily against Derek’s side as he tsked, “Der, I am not shopping for my own presents.”

Derek had grumbled under his breath about how horrible of a gift giver he was, reminding Stiles of the previous year’s fiasco. But Stiles had remained adamant, Derek had to pick out a present for him all by himself.

Which is how Derek wound up in some seedy, hippy bookstore a few towns over that reeked of cheap pot and even cheaper vodka, looking for the perfect gift three days before Christmas.

He wanted to find something special for Stiles, something that showed him how much he cared. After vetoing every department, boutique, and dollar store in Beacon Hills, he had decided to venture out of town to find Stiles’ gift.

The bookstore in Green Springs had caught his attention in part to the bright neon sign designating it as an ‘eclectic bookstore’ and the slight scent of magic that hung in the air. He figured at the very least, he could pick Stiles up a few books about different types of magic other than the ones that Deaton was teaching him about.

He realized that books weren’t exactly the very best present but he was getting extremely desperate. Besides, Stiles liked reading and he was sure to go crazy over anything to do with his emissary training.

He was almost a full year into his training, having started the previous February shortly after his and Derek’s first fight as a couple. After a powerful witch had moved into town, Stiles had wound up nearly getting killed when he refused to stay home where it was safe.

Following their fight that had mostly consisted of Derek berating Stiles for being so reckless and Stiles trying to defend himself by pointing out that he sure as hell wasn’t going to just sit on the bench while his friends put their lives in danger, they finally came to a compromise. A compromise that led to Stiles convincing Deaton to start training him as an emissary.

With Stiles’ spark and the fact that he was dating an alpha, it just made sense.

Following his nose, Derek wandered through the bookstore in search of something Stiles would like. The stacks of books were covered in cobwebs and layers of dust, the musty scent of old books nearly overpowering the hint of magic that led him towards the back of the store.

There was a long glass display case that ran along the back wall of the shop, individual books displayed on a bed of maroon velvet. A yellow post-it note on top of the glass designated the books as grimoires.

Even through the thick glass, Derek could smell the books. Most of them were just as ordinary as any other book in the shop but then he found it.

It was a clearly ancient grimoire bound in cracked dark brown leather that absolutely reeked of magic.

Leather straps with burnished gold buckles held the book shut yet there was no scent of anything nefarious. Small clumps of light green moss seemed to grow out of the leather binding, a testament to the book’s inherent magic.

The pages were gilded, clearly well-maintained. In the center of the cover, a gold silhouette of a linden tree was pressed into the leather, branches and roots encircled by a gold loop.

It was extremely promising. And when he noticed another post-it note, this one beside the book announcing it as Polish grimoire, he knew that it was perfect.

Half an hour later, Derek was back in Beacon Hills wrapping Stiles’ present, the smell of hope and magic mingling in the air.

*******

Three days after Christmas Eve, Stiles was still trying to figure out why his boyfriend had given him a book full of sex spells for Christmas.

The gift exchange on Christmas Eve had gone even better than expected. The betas had all torn into their gifts like the pack of voracious wolves that they were.

They had all loved their presents, ooh-ing and aah-ing and singing Derek’s praises for not giving them all horrible gifts like the previous year. Boyd was the only one who had kept his gift from last year, partially because of his loyalty to the alpha and partially because the sweater Derek got him was too ugly to donate to charity.

Stiles had eagerly ripped into his own gift with equal parts excitement and trepidation. But the grimoire he had discovered under the shiny gold wrapping paper chased all fears of Derek’s penchant for giving horrible gifts out of his head.

Stiles had spent the rest of the evening lauding Derek for his wonderful choice in gifts, resting his head on Derek’s shoulder as they cuddled on the couch. He hadn’t even bothered to stick his tongue out at the others when they let loose with a chorus of jokes about him and Derek being an old married couple.

He had been too wrapped up in the calm happiness of being with the pack in Derek’s loft, gathered around as they all snuggled up together. He had been too content with nodding off on Derek’s shoulder, drooling onto the sleeve of his Henley, to even open the grimoire.

The following morning, Stiles had celebrated Christmas with his dad the way they had for the past decade.

Stiles woke up early to get a shower before starting on breakfast, tiptoeing past the mountain of poorly wrapped presents under the tree. Half an hour later, he had a package of turkey bacon cooked and a stack of whole wheat pancakes flipped.

It had taken another half hour for Stiles to cajole his dad into getting out of bed. He had to brew a pot of coffee and bribe the Sheriff with the promise of real bacon the next time he had a weekend off.

After a shower of his own, the Sheriff finally made his way down to the kitchen. In a pair of threadbare Christmas lounge pants and a faded Beacon County Sheriff’s Department t-shirt, he looked comfier than Stiles had seen him in a long time.

Over a breakfast full of lighthearted banter and copious amounts of coffee, they watched old holiday movies that were playing on cable. They sang along off-key to every single song.

They opened their presents together on the couch over cups of hot chocolate, shredding both wrapping paper and newspaper coverings. They mostly exchanged clothes, ironic t-shirts and flannels for Stiles and sweaters for the Sheriff, and other small things that were selected with both practicality and sentiment in mind.

Unfortunately, the Sheriff still had to go work. Giving his son a tight hug, the Sheriff said his goodbyes and promised to be home in time for dinner.

With no other plans for the remainder of the day, Stiles had decided to browse through the grimoire Derek had given him. Maybe try out a few easier spells just to get a feel for the type of magic.

He had expected a handful of simple spells, spells designed for beginners so they wouldn’t be overwhelmed. A few conjuring spells, maybe some incantations for stress relief, one or two transfiguration charms.

So imagine his surprise when he cracked open the grimoire to find a collection of sex spells. Merry Christmas to him, indeed.

*******

For days he tried to figure out why exactly Derek had given him a grimoire chock full of extremely detailed and sometimes very kinky sex spells.

His suspicions ran the gamut from Derek trying to not so subtly hint that he would like to spice up their sex life with a little bit of magic to Derek unknowingly giving him the Slavic version of a magical kama sutra.

So, in typical Stiles fashion, he had dedicated himself to finding out whether or not Derek had purposefully given him a collection of sex spells. Which is why he invited himself over to Derek’s loft under the pretense of binge watching shitty Christmas movies.

Derek didn’t seem suspicious at all, probably because Stiles inviting himself over was an increasingly common occurrence in his life. Instead, he had greeted Stiles at the door with a wide grin and a huge bowl of caramel popcorn.

While Netflix buffered for an insanely long time, Stiles curled up on the couch with Derek, laying his head on Derek’s shoulder and throwing an arm around his waist. Like an affectionate puppy, Derek nuzzled into Stiles’ hair, hand feeding him bites of caramel corn like the sappy dork he was.

They sat in companionable silence as the opening credits rolled, introducing actors neither of them had ever heard of before, until Stiles cleared his throat. Keeping his eyes on the TV screen, Stiles asked, “Hey, Der? You’re, y'know, satisfied, right?”

“What?” Derek replied, confusion evident in his voice. Brushing his fingers up Stiles’ upper arm in an absentminded caress, he assured him, “Yeah, of course, I am. I have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

He punctuated his statement by pressing a kiss to the top of Stiles’ head. With one suspicion checked off the list, Stiles hummed and fell silent again.

Half an hour into the movie, when the main characters were introduced and the main plot of saving Christmas was set into motion, Stiles piped up again. Chewing a mouthful of popcorn, he shrugged and nonchalantly asked, “You don’t have any like ‘weird’ fantasies or anything, do you?”

Stiles didn’t look away from the screen but he knew without looking that Derek whipped his head around to gape at him. Still waiting for an answer, Stiles tossed a few more pieces of popcorn into his mouth, chewing patiently.

“Uh, no,” Derek answered eventually, sounding somewhat cautious. Given Stiles’ previous question, it made sense for him to be wary. Still sounding a bit reluctant, Derek continued, “Not that I can think of, anyway.”

Stiles nodded to himself, mentally checking off another potential possibility. Leaning more heavily against Derek’s side, he relaxed a bit more.

He waited a little longer to pose his next question, getting embarrassingly engrossed in the extremely predictable plot to the point that he was muttering under his breath about how stupid everyone was being. No wonder all these made for TV movies were two hours long, all of the characters were so freaking stupid!

He found the perfect window of opportunity for his next question when one of the characters onscreen made a comment about speaking three languages. Tipping his head up, he inquired, “How many languages do you speak, babe?”

“Eight,” Derek answered easily, letting out a soft sigh of relief when he realized that Stiles’ question was more innocuous than his previous two. “English, Spanish, French, German, Portuguese, Japanese, and Russian.”

A quiet moment passed, Stiles humming with a thoughtful nod, before Derek asked, “Why?”

“So, you don’t speak Polish? Or read it or anything?” Stiles pressed in lieu of answering, tightening his arm around Derek’s middle. “Like, you can’t read the grimoire you got me or anything?”

“Nope. Not at all,” Derek returned, trailing his fingers down Stiles’ arm. Stiles considered that.

“So you didn’t intentionally get me a book of sex spells. Cool.”

Derek promptly choked on a mouthful of popcorn.

He beat a fist against his chest as he coughed, desperately trying to dislodge the popcorn from his esophagus. Straightening up, Stiles took pity on his boyfriend, snapping his fingers with a little burst of magic to help the poor guy out.

“I gave you a what?!” Derek blurted incredulously the moment his airway was clear. His eyes were wide, thick brows nearly at his hairline.

Stiles reached out to lay a calming hand on Derek’s chest, shifting closer until their bodies were pressed together thigh to thigh. But it didn’t seem to do much to calm Derek down as the next thing he did was blurt out, “Oh my god! I really am the worst at giving gifts!”

With that, he clapped his hands over his face and collapsed back against the couch cushions. The tips of his ears burned bright red.

He let out a groan followed by a heavy sigh as he hid his face. His refusal to look at Stiles prompted the emissary to unceremoniously plop himself down in Derek’s lap, hands on Derek’s wrists to gently guide his hands away from his face.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Stiles cooed softly, pausing to press a kiss to the center of Derek’s palms. Squeezing Derek’s hands in what he hoped was a comforting gesture, Stiles assured him, “You got me an amazing gift, Derek. It’s not your fault it just so happened to be written by some Polish pervert.”

Derek managed to crack a smile. Reaching up to brush an eyelash off Stiles’ cheek, he teased, “I didn’t know you wrote grimoires.”

“Asshole,” Stiles chuckled, already leaning down to press a kiss to Derek’s lips. Laying his forehead against Derek’s, he murmured, an undercurrent of heat in every word, “Besides, it’s not all bad. I’d really like to try a few of those spells out.”

With a very interested hum, Derek leaned up for another kiss. Maybe he wasn’t such an awful gift giver after all.

[mjvliteraryblog-blog]

Is Seeing Your Book In Print Still Every Author’s Dream?

#ReturnToRealBooks

  Photo by Bruce Mars on Unsplash

One of the few beautiful moments one can experience is achieving a lifelong dream.  For a writer, that is often the moment they unwrap that parcel from the printer, or publisher, and hold that clean, unopened book in their hand, for the very first time – the one with their author name emblazoned across the front of its glossy, professionally-designed cover; the smell of the print still fresh; the rough-yet-smooth feel of its pages…  It is a magical moment, and one which will have undoubtedly elicited the same euphoric feeling of delight from writers for centuries.  Perhaps, that is, until now.

THE DIGITAL TAKEOVER OF THE BOOK INDUSTRY

The past 12 years or so have seen a digital offensive on the book industry, at a pace and on a scale which can only be paralleled by the progress of the technological age generally.  And, with it, the attitudes of readers – and writers – have changed also.  It is the biggest change in the way people create, buy and read books since the launch of industry monopoly Amazon, another 12 years prior to that, and it therefore comes as little surprise that it was the online retail giant itself which supercharged this move to the new digital format, with the launch of its first electronic reader, the Kindle.  Now into its 10th generation (at the time of writing this), with over 20 models having been introduced to the market, the Kindle has become and remains one of the most popular ways to read books in the world.

However, unlike the unopposed coup with which Jeff Bezos launched his platform in 1995, effectively obliterating a millennia-old industry in one fell swoop, Amazon’s conversion of the population into exclusively loyal users of his Kindle has faced far more resistance, and some pretty stiff competition, from Barnes and Noble’s NOOK, the KOBO and more recently, and perhaps more severely, iTunes for the mobile phone and iPad.  In fact, the e-reader generally is not going unchallenged in the digital market, with the relatively sudden, imposing appearance of audiobooks.  

Considering reports by most large publishers and industry research, both 2018 and 2019 saw a decline in e-book sales, whilst audiobook downloads are consistently increasing.  Although recorded books have been around for almost a century, in some recorded form, it was possibly the birth of the internet which really kickstarted its fortunes as a potential cultural movement.  The reasons for this correlation are several, though perhaps simplistically three spring most immediately to mind: the first is that the internet has created more opportunities for cost-effective distribution and a massive choice of titles, on a scale never before seen in audible books; the second is that with the internet – and digital media generally – the sound quality of our affordable personal devices has improved remarkably; and, thirdly, perhaps more grimly, is that as a society we are arguably becoming more sensitive to external negativities, withdrawn and less sociable, so it is becoming increasingly appealing to put on a pair of headphones and shut out the world when in a public space.  Of course, this last is conjecture, and perhaps a fanciful, somewhat morbid assumption; let’s not forget that reading books has always generally been a solitary activity.  

But of course, the biggest challenge to the e-reader is more fundamental and perhaps more romantic: the fact is there remain millions of purists who simply refuse to be converted away from their printed paper books – “real” books.  Any of us who genuinely love reading and writing will have an opinion on the digital movement’s impact on real books, and most would probably agree that holding a plastic device doesn’t come close to comparing to the feel, mood and atmosphere of holding a book in our hands; listening to the crisp sound of the pages turning; watching candle-light dance across them; not wanting to physically close it, because we are too gripped and dare not lose our page – these are simply the feelings which cannot be reproduced digitally.  And, for most passionate readers, that is just what reading is all about: feeling.  It is for this reason that the printed book remains the most popular format for readers, accounting for around two-thirds of all books read in the U.S. in 2018 (Pew Research).

SO, PURISTS STILL LOVE REAL BOOKS, BUT ARE THEY ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY?

Clearly, the past 20 years or so have seen a huge cultural and generational shift in how we create and read books.  The digital media age has aligned itself with two very real and not minor concerns which face authors, and the world as a whole.  The first is that digital publishing has made it significantly easier to self-publish books which would otherwise have never made it past the manuscript stage, in an industry which is, and always has been notoriously difficult for the huge majority of authors to present themselves in – perhaps even more so now, in the era of celebrities, and their dominance of best-seller lists.  But, obviously, the second reason why creating physical books may seem less desirable now – particularly for younger generations – is the single most vitally important issue to writers and readers, more so than any of the other considerations: the planet itself.  

Undoubtedly, the creation of all books has an environmental impact.  E-readers are made predominantly of plastic, which, as we know, has a dreadful impact on the environment and species around the world, with a long-lasting legacy. As well as the toxic qualities of an e-reader and the materials used to make it, the production process itself leaves a significant carbon footprint.  Arguably worse, most of its components are not yet biodegradable.  But it would not be impartial for us to overlook the reality of creating real books, either.  Whilst they generally do not contain plastics, their own production still has a vast environmental impact.  Of course, the sad truth of our world is that everything we produce as a species leaves a damaging legacy behind it, so in the carbon footprint argument, perhaps it would be unfair to single books out.

  Photo by Jiapeng Guang on Unsplash

However, the amount of paper used to produce real books is very industry-specific, and has a huge conservation implication: that is, of course, deforestation.  Advocates of e-books and digital media have always argued that our overuse of paper in society has had a spectacularly detrimental effect on the world’s forests – and few could disagree.  There are a lot of people who argue that it is irresponsible and downright immoral to keep cutting down trees when we have no need to do so, because all media can now be transmitted digitally - it is a strong argument.  

Perhaps the true questions we as a society need to ask about the use of paper are: how much of the paper we use is recycled; and, are the trees we cut down being replaced?  On both fronts, information is extremely cagey to come by.  We would all like to think that governments and corporations are meeting their obligations for reforestation, but it is probably safe to say that many of us are skeptical of this, and consider blind faith in those with a corporate interest naïve.  However, to spin an unusual positive note, just this year the United Nations launched “A Decade Of Ecosystem Reforestation”, with a joint objective to reforest an area larger than India by 2030 (The Guardian).  Sadly, this is not the first time such an agreement has been reached; even if they succeed now, will they do so next time?  There is a silver lining, however, that paper is the most recycled material in the world, with an average recycling rate of over 70%, which is just a little short of its viable maximum, assumed to be around 78%.  When you add to this the fact that 40% of all printed books by traditional publishers are turned to pulp, which is presumably reused, the future of paper consumption in the industry starts to look, perhaps just a tiny bit, less severe.

It is not the intention of this blog to propagandize or influence writers in any way – I am sure I have said nothing which they have not themselves considered - though if authors are so disposed to creating printed versions of their books to the degree that nothing else will satisfy their ambition, they will invariably do so.  For them, then, perhaps the answer lies in self-publishing, the beauty of which is that there is much less likely to be wasteful print runs created, as most self-publishers choose a print-on-demand model – ie. individually creating books, as orders come in.  If the sacrifice we make comes down to a choice between our own glorification by a traditional publishing deal or the fate of the planet, I’d like to think that most people would make the latter choice.  Perhaps – at the risk of appearing flippant – this is another strong case for self-publishing over traditional publishing, although that debate is a matter for another blog.

Posted by Matt McAvoy: 30th August

[businessguide12-blog]

How To Create Digital Products For Fast Profits

New Post has been published on https://businessguideto.com/awesome/how-to-create-digital-products-for-fast-profits/

How To Create Digital Products For Fast Profits

Creating digital products that sell is a lot easier than you think. If you are able to write a blog post, you are qualified to create your own product, simply because writing an e-book are like writing a series of articles.

There are only two difficult facets, but I will stroll you through these in this blog post :P TAGEND

What tools to use for creating a product without technical knowledge. How to pick a platform to sell your product so that it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Creating Digital Product That Sell While You Sleep

You already know that creating information based products is the best style to make money on the internet- simply because you can keep your expenses low. There are no procurement and shipping charges, and you can charge as much or as little as you want to. Thousands of professionals earn their living by selling digital products on their blogs or different digital marketplaces.

But please don’t fall for the “make money while you sleep” slogan. It’s true that once set up, your blog will construct marketings without the need to be there personally, however, you are able to always have to put in the time for marketing, handling customer queries, etc. There is no easy buck on the internet, otherwise, everyone would already be taking advantage of it.

The Best Selling Digital Products

Now that you decided that you want to get into the digital product business, you may be asking, “But what types of digital products should I make? ”

E-Books

E-books are one of the more popular digital products. They are relatively simple to produce since they just require some written text and a few images. E-books are simple to distribute via large marketplaces like Amazon or in your own online stores. Customers can easily read them on e-readers, tablets, computers, and even their mobile phones.

Documents

Documents most often come in the form of handbooks/ guidebooks or templates( like resumes, sample legal contracts ). There are documents like a privacy policy or house renting contract templates, documents with variations on the same files( like other languages or colour scheme ), user manuals of vehicle models, telephones, computers, etc.

Courses

E-learning is an industry with growing momentum. We are even watching traditional educational institutions exploring this avenue to make their content available to learners. Their price scopes from a few bucks to several thousand dollars.

Professional services

Services are, of course , not products. However, you can sell them in the same way you sell digital products. Some instances would be :P TAGEND

Graphic design

Web design

Copywriting

Translation

Consultation

Coaching

Getting Started

First, you will need to get out of your perfectionist disorder when you start working on your first product. I agree that on today’s internet your product needs to be good if you want to compete with others … however, you won’t be able to create the best product ever in your niche to start with.

The goal is to launch your product in an acceptable country, then you will improve it later on.

Creating Your Own E-books

If you are an expert in a topic, writing an e-book can take you a few days to a week.

You can be fancy and create your book in InDesign or PowerPoint. These are nice, however, they have huge drawbacks: The resulting file will be large and adding to a PowerPoint slide can be a nightmare because of the re-pagination.

Therefore I recommend that you use a simple and free e-book template for Libre Office or Open Office. These programs provide an easy way to save your volume in PDF form.

I recommend Canva( it’s free) for creating your encompas image and marketing images.

Make sure your images are compressed. This will induce the resulting file smaller.

If you want to create a screenshot, paste it into LibreOffice. You can crop and save the image right in the program only by right-clicking on it. After you enter the file name you want to save the image under, you will get a dialogue box where you can set the height and thicknes of the image :P TAGEND

I usually defined my images to 700 pixels in thicknes and then I compress them using TinyPng. This way I almost always get an image file that is under 100 kB.

Platforms For Selling Your E-books

Once your e-book is ready, there are several ways you can sell it.

JvZoo– No upfront fees. JVZoo will charge a commission fee of 5% of the gross selling price on each product or service sold by a marketer. They host your e-book for you, but you need to set up the sales page on your own blog. You can set up individual products or recurring memberships with trials.

It has a built-in affiliate program. After you listed your product, you can instantaneously start recruiting affiliates.

E-Junkie– 30 -day free trial. After that, you can start with the$ 5/ month plan, which gives you 200 MB and the ability to sell 10 products- unlimited marketings and unlimited downloads. They issue a unique, expiring download connect for every purchase, hence the chance of steal is smaller.

You can start selling in 3 easy steps :P TAGEND

Step 1: Link your pay processor( PayPal, Stripe, Braintree, Authorize.Net, 2Checkout and more)

Step 2: Add your product( Tangible, Digital, Ticket, Codes, Email Newsletters and more)

Step 3: Copy-Paste the button codes or links in your website, blog or social networks.

They offer an E-junkie plugin for WordPress that automatically generates a storefront section on your WordPress site, employing the same product listing details and images as an E-junkie Shop.

If you don’t have your own website or don’t wish to add E-junkie button codes to your existing site, you can list your products in your own E-junkie Shop page with a URL that lists only your own products. Adding product listings to your E-junkie Shop also provides an easy way for existing affiliates of other E-junkie merchants to find and join your affiliate program.

You can select the Sales Tax/ VAT option if you want us to calculate Sales Tax or VAT on sales of that product.

WooCommerce- This is a solution to sell products, including digital ones on your blog. It takes some time to set up, however you can add an infinite number of products and in order to receive pays you just need to plug in your PayPal account.

Amazon: Everyone has heard about selling digital products on Amazon … To sell your e-book on this platform you will need a special format for Kindle (. mobi ). Reflowable e-books let the reader to resize text and are available on all Kindle devices and free Kindle reading applications.

The advantage of selling on Amazon is the large existing audience, however, the price points are usually much lower compared to PDF e-books you can sell on other platforms.

Creating A Sales Page In WordPress

I have mentioned that some of the e-book selling answers require your own sales page.

Despite the fact that you may need marketings and landing pages for various purposes, regrettably, WordPress is not set up for creating such pages. In order to create these, you will need an external plugin.

Thrive Architect is a drag-and-drop page builder solution. There are pre-made sales pages you can pick from, such as this one – you only need to change the text :P TAGEND

You can look at all the available sales and landing pages.

Creating An Online Course

There are several paid platforms where you can create and sell your online course.

Podia expenses $39/ month. If you want the Pro version with an affiliate program feature, you would pay $79/ month.

Teachable’s basic plan expenses $39/ month, plus 5% in transaction fees, with monthly payouts. Their Pro version expenses $99/ month , no transaction fees and instant payouts.

Thinkific expenses $49/ month. It also has a free version, but unfortunately, that doesn’t have an affiliate program.

These platforms make it easy to create your course, however, they are not cheap.

Selling Digital Products On Your WordPress Blog

This route necessitates more tech knowledge, but it can be style cheaper.

You can use the Thrive Apprentice plugin and you will have an interface like this :P TAGEND

You will also need a shopping cart if you want to charge money for your courses.

You can use SendOwl for this purpose, which is very simple to set up, however they charge $15/ month if you want to use their platform to create your own affiliate program.

If you don’t mind the technological challenge, you can use WooCommerce to sell an unlimited number of free or paid courses. Would you like to see a demo? You can check the live store on FunnelXpert, sign up for a free or a paying course and experience firsthand.

The advantage of WooCommerce is that you can use a wide selection of payment processors, including those used in foreign countries and you can also use its coupon feature if you want to run discounts.

Conclusion

This is how you can start making money by selling your digital products.

Please leave any questions in the comments. We will be updating this post based on your questions so that everything is covered.

Author: Peter Nyiri is an internet marketer, the owner of FunnelXpert. He is on a mission to help bloggers build an income generating machine so that they can live the lifestyle that they want.

The post How To Create Digital Products For Fast Profits seemed first on Anastasia Blogger: How to Start a Blog, Blogging Tips, Make Money Online, Work from Home.

Read more: anastasiablogger.com

[the-judging-eye]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E92tY9bY94)

"As the sun comes up, Deborah Jones takes a seat on the “throne” — a faded tapestry-covered bench supported by a scrolled metal frame and decorated on each corner with scruffy tassels lightly dusted by flecks of ash.

From her perch, she watches kindling ignite in the upright smoker. Then she shoves hickory logs into the firebox to create a combustible stew she stirs occasionally with a custom-made pitchfork.

True pitmasters: The Jones sisters are rare gems in man’s world https://www.kansascity.com/living/food-drink/article98604857.html

“I like that chair,” says one of Kansas City’s only female pitmasters, referring to the flea market find that was likely once part of a vanity set.

For more than three decades, the Jones sisters — Deborah and her sister Mary Jones Mosley — have devoted themselves to barbecue, working as professional pitmasters and owners of Jones Bar-B-Q. In its latest incarnation, the to-go-only spot has taken up residence in a former taco stand where customers step up to a window to place their orders.

Mary, whose family nickname is “Shorty,” calls out the order. Then Deborah, or “Little,” steps up on the firebox door and peers into the pit to ferret out the precise piece of meat required. With roasting pan in hand, Deborah pads back to the metal screen doors and into the kitchen. Together, she and Mary fix up a foam box and tie it up in a plastic grocery sack.

The outdoor smoker sits on a layer of bricks in the parking lot near Wild Woody’s Happy Foods West at 6706 Kaw Drive, in an industrial section of Kansas City, Kan., where freight trains from the tracks running parallel to Kansas 32 whistle loud enough to drown out conversations.

If a woman sitting on a throne in the middle of a parking lot tending fire isn’t enough to stop cars and trucks, the thick perfume of smoke wafting out of the smoker door serves as a word-of-nose advertisement.

“I can tell the barbecue is good by the way this place smells!” a middle-aged woman in a fluorescent yellow vest says while jumping back into a still-running car — sandwich in hand — to meet her next freight shipment.

“A lot of people think because we are women that we don’t have common sense,” Deborah says. But it’s clear her predominantly male customers — from construction and rail workers to truckers to police officers — believe in her barbecue sense.

— A family affair —

The Jones sisters have been around barbecue since they were old enough to stand on a milk crate and help crank out links of their family’s unwritten sausage recipe.

Their father, Leavy Jones Sr., who never made it past the seventh grade, was an electrician by day and learned the art of barbecue moonlighting at Hezekiah’s, an African-American-owned barbecue that once operated at 1805 N. 10th St. in Kansas City, Kan.

On weekends, the girls helped out at Hezekiah’s by washing dishes, wrapping sandwiches and running the cash register. But they didn’t work on weekdays because they had to get their homework done. Education was a priority: Seven of the eight Jones siblings went to college, and three brothers served in the military.

Leavy and his wife, Juanita, also sat the kids down every Sunday to talk about good manners, hygiene, sex education and the value of hard work.

“Daddy always said, ‘Nothing is free. If you ever get unemployed, you have to have other skills,’ ” Deborah recalls.

“We’ve all always worked, because nothing is free,” Mary echoes. “And if it is, you better question it.”

During college, Deborah worked summers at the Gates Bar-B-Q location down the road from Hezekiah’s. As adults, the sisters found themselves drawn back to the fire to help out their older brother Daniel, who, like their dad, worked at Hezekiah’s as a pitmaster and eventually bought the business.

Deborah was her brother’s designated backup. Soon after Daniel died, Mary joined her to run the business. They stayed on 10th Street from 1987 to 2003, then moved to 609 N. Sixth St. from 2005 to 2009. Mary began downsizing to a food cart on 12th Street for office workers and miscellaneous caterings in 2007.

Although deeply devoted to the art form, the Jones sisters have always treated barbecue as a backup: Deborah, 56, worked at the post office and Mary, 59, was a nurse. In the lull, Deborah dealt with health problems, including a heart condition that tires her easily. Mary retired to Topeka but soon got an offer to work at Reser’s Fine Foods, maker of specialty frozen foods, smoked meats and tubs of deli-style salads.

Last October, Deborah was itching to jump back into barbecue full time. She found the taco stand and, after spending most of her pit money on rewiring it to meet health and safety codes, she scrounged up an upright smoker at A-Lotta-Stuff, a thrift store a couple of hundred yards across the asphalt.

Although she is most comfortable cooking over a brick pit — Hezekiah’s had an impressive sunken pit dug into the ground — Deborah retrofitted the smoker to her specifications. “They each have their own personality,” she says. “I had to get used to the hot points and how to work the fire again.”

She put the bricks and drip pan on the right side, preferring to make her fire on the left. She also tore out the thermometers built into the door.

“They bother me,” she says.“We don’t use a thermometer. You should be able to look and know the meat is done.” In other words, a rack of ribs is done when it “flaps” but doesn’t quite fall off the bone.

— Nothing fancy —

The fare at Jones Bar-B-Q is not fancy: The ribs are untrimmed by today’s competition standards. The coarse-grind all-pork sausage is eyeballed for accuracy and hand-cranked and stuffed into natural casings that snap with each bite. The burnt ends are surprisingly fatty, charcoaled and chewy.

“Seasonings,” as opposed to trendy rubs, and an innate understanding of the “textures and smells” of the wood are what give the meat its down-home flavor. Their signature barbecue sauce is served liberally over the meat, unless a customer asks for it on the side.

Barbecue expert and soon-to-be American Royal Hall of Famer Ardie Davis affectionately labels the sisters’ style “old school”: “It isn’t fancy. It’s very simple and direct. The flavor is not oversmoked and (the meat) not so neatly trimmed you miss the fat.”

Unlike restaurateurs who display trophies and ribbons from competitive barbecue contests, the Jones sisters don’t have awards to show for their years in the trenches. Instead, Deborah’s prize is an intuitive sense for barbecue that borders on communion.

“Watch how focused my sister is when she turns that piece of meat,” Mary almost whispers one morning. “They’re communicating with each other. It’s accumulated knowledge. To make it as long as we have been doing this is not a joke. You have to be focused and want to do this. It’s an art. It’s hot. Time-consuming. You have to stay focused. You don’t wake up to be a pitmaster one day. This is years of hard work. You have to want this.”

The funny thing, Mary teases, is Deborah can’t be trusted to boil a hotdog.

“She does no cooking in the kitchen,” Mary says with a deep-throated laugh. “But now isn’t that funny! Take this right here — with more work and more heat — and she’s good at it. I love it, too, don’t get me wrong. But she’s obsessed with it.”

Mary also knows her way around a pit, but she is happy to be the exuberant cheerleader — taking orders, chatting up customers and making change. Her playful banter puts people at ease, and she aims to please.

“Mary is the only person I know who gets tips even when she’s not working,” Deborah says, shaking her head.

The sisters insist their success has to do with consistency and freshness. They buy their meats from Mies Wholesale Meats in North Kansas City. Deborah puts only a dozen or so rib tips, four racks of ribs and a couple of briskets and pork butts on the fire each day. If they sell out, she puts more meat on and tells the customer to come back in two hours.

“We have got a thing about freshness — and she’s got it bad,” says Mary, who helps out when she can but is no longer at the business on a daily basis. “You have to sit on the throne and play with this (fire) all day. It takes time if you want to do it right. We were never about the dollar bill. It was about pleasing the customer. That was my part, always the customer. My customers are everything to me.”

If there’s one signature item the Jones sisters continue to hang their hats on, it is their sausage. Michelle Briggs of Lenexa drives 20 minutes for some links on a sizzling July afternoon.

“It’s totally different than any other,” she says. “There’s a little spice and you can tell it’s homemade. I like the fact that when you cut it open it falls apart. You can put it on bread, or eat it as is.”

“I’m just crazy about the sausage,” echoes Gregory Ross of Kansas City, Kan. “It’s homemade, and I was raised up on it.” Although the new location “could be bigger,” he adds, “good things come in small places.”

— For the love of it —

In 2001, while Doug Worgul was researching his book “The Grand Barbecue” published by Kansas City Star Books, he happened to spy a hand-lettered sign for the original Jones Bar-B-Q.

“It was the jointiest joint I’ve ever been in,” says Worgul, who now works as the director of marketing for Joe’s KC. “There were a couple of folding tables like you’d find in a church fellowship hall. It was definitely the most handmade dining room you could ever imagine, but the food was good.”

Worgul dined three or four times before he introduced himself.

“He really put us on the the map, without us really knowing,” says Mary, who posed for a portrait with Deborah that closes out the book.

Worgul, who recently reconnected with Deborah after 15 years, says the sisters are the hardest working people he has ever met, and they represent an artisan approach that cannot be replicated in higher-volume barbecue restaurants.

“Our pitmasters are not pitmasters in the sense Deborah and Mary are,” Worgul says. “What our pitmasters do — which is critical to our operation — is really far less creative. Basically, they follow a procedure. It’s not mastering barbecue; it’s fulfilling that specific technique.”

Deborah’s daughter, Izora Thompson, a 22-year-old nursing student at the University of Missouri due to graduate in December, has been tapped to keep the family business going. Barbecue is definitely a family legacy she wants to continue, but she’s hoping to add a “fresh perspective.”

On her way back to college this semester, she asked her mother to make a barbecue burrito, wrapping bits of smoked sausage with beans, onions, green peppers and cheese in a tortilla. Her friends loved the results.

“I like the idea of our traditions, but I’d like to try some new flavorful dishes as well,” Izora says. “I would really like to branch out and do more with the business.”

Including bottling the barbecue sauce and figuring out a way to sell the sausage and beans at grocery stores.

“It would be nice to be in the grocery store,” Mary muses aloud, “but I guess we’re just old-fashioned, because it could never be just about the money.”

Indeed, for the Jones sisters, barbecue isn’t just a job; it is who they are.

“This is worse than a drug. It’s an addiction. It’s in your blood, and she’s really the junkie,” Mary says, eyeing her sister’s shabby-chic throne and letting out a sigh. “She breathes this, and loves it. She goes to sleep to get up for this. She doesn’t care about the money. This is her No. 1 spot.”

[theonyxpath]

(Sometimes, even I have trouble thinking up a general fun title. No real reason, just not connecting to that part of my brain today. Maybe, it’s something to do with that symbol above…)

This week our Monday Meeting crew were still talking about the impact of the Corona Virus (go figure), and generally letting off steam over the situation. We’re all trying to be responsible and self-isolate, wear masks and such, and social distance. So far, we��ve all been fortunate not to have been stricken ill, or to have lost loved ones.

There have been some effects across our various creative teams, but we’re doing what we can to help out. Our first developer “Town Hall” was so successful that we’re doing another set in a couple of weeks – just so our creators know they have a place to ask questions, vent, and really just to be connected and listened to.

For our core Onyx Path team, there’s been some self-care put together, with Eddy taking a couple of days off at the end of last week just to get a break from maneuvering in the virus situation, and this week Matthew needs extra time, so Eddy and Dixie are interviewing some of the Gehenna Gaming gang for the Onyx Pathcast. Which is a change they are flexible enough to make happen.

Lunars art by Gunship Revolution

Meanwhile, Behind the Facade of This Innocent Looking Bookstore…

We sent the M20 Technocracy Reloaded Kickstarter over to WW for review. Once they give the OK, we’ll set a date – hopefully soon. They have their own issues with the pandemic over in Sweden, but right now are still approving what we send, so more hopes that everything remains good over there.

EDIT: Actually, as I was finishing up this blog, they got back to us with the OK! So the M20 Technocracy Reloaded Kickstarter will come online on Tuesday, April the 28th, at 2pm Eastern US time!

Related to that, Travis Legge is starting a Twitter game for M20 Technocracy Reloaded – as he says:

“And then like BOOM black suits fill the room up.”

I have the extreme honor and pleasure of bringing Technocracy Reloaded for Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition to Twitch starting May 5th with Phil Brucato, Jacqueline Bryk, Hiromi Cota & TK Johnson

Don’t miss out! Head over to https://twitch.tv/theonyxpath, follow & subscribe.

Be seeing you.

That’s a very stellar cast of players, so this promises to be a real treat – while at the same time providing an in-depth look at the new book.

Plus, before that specific Actual Play series arrives, we have our usual great list of programs for many, many of our game settings being played which you can find below in the Blurbs!

During our meeting, we received word that DriveThruCards is back to being able to print PoD cards, which is great! Coincidentally, just before we heard that news, Eddy let us know that he heard that the Expedition card game is back in stock on the Expedition store!  Since our own Scarred Lands is the theme of one of the supplements and allows players to add in SL creatures, treasure, and adventures, that’s great news and yet another option for a fun diversion.

You can get the cards via DTRPG as well, and I also hear they have online way for multi-player quests, so that’s even better these days!

Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties art by Michele Giorgi

Finally, here’s the news about our latest sale of physical books from our friends at Indie Press Revolution!

Exalted 3rd Edition and Dragon Blooded Deluxe Edition books and screens are 20% off all April (while supplies last).

Select Onyx Path books with Storyteller Screens are 25% off April 20 through May 24.

Scion Book 1 and 2 (Origin and Hero) are available together for 25% off April 20 through May 24.

Check out the specific book and screen sale bundles here: https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Deals-and-Specials/

That’s it for this week, so please all take care of yourselves, and we’ll see you soon in one of our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

The M20 Technocracy Reloaded Kickstarter will start at 2pm Eastern US time on Tuesday, April the 28!

Onyx Path Media!

This week features an in-depth interview with the folks from Gehenna Gaming. Who are they, what are they up to, and how did they do such a great job running their Virtual Horror Con?

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

Tune in to our games this week on Twitch! There’s a lot of games coming up, including: V5, Scion, Pugmire, the fantastic and new Storytellers with Coffee chat, Changeling: The Lost, Changeling: The Dreaming, Mage: The Awakening, Scarred Lands, Dark Eras Werewolf: The Forsaken, Chronicles of Darkness, and a new Deviant: The Renegades game! 

This week you should look out for the new Chronicles of Darkness game, Tooth and Claw. You can subscribe to our channel over on twitch.tv/theonyxpath to catch up with any episodes you missed!

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

Trinity Continuum – Aberrant: Community Service: https://youtu.be/oY9gGocsTtU

Changeling: The Lost – Littlebrook Reunion: https://youtu.be/1OiLEtvunkM and https://youtu.be/M9qJVeyvxmY

Vampire: The Masquerade: Blood City – Chicago by Night: https://youtu.be/deky_yW-0Ho

Do subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

Have you checked out the Botch Pit‘s gaming transcripts? Have a look on their clean, beautiful website, and check this one out for a Chronicles of Darkness game: http://thebotchpit.com/new-england-by-night-season-1-session-01-im-not-making-anyone-a-supernatural-yet-transcript/

New England By Night | Season 1 | Session 01: I’m Not Making Anyone A Supernatural Yet [Transcript]

More new Occultists Anonymous for all you Mage: The Awakening fans:

Episode 98: Looking Back Atratus speaks with a Supernal Being with a single purpose: Determine what caused the death of her twin brother, Gabe. The ghost of Gabe and the rest of the cabal support as Atratus resolves the last anchor to her past.  https://youtu.be/hGxqIjQTa0U

Episode 99: Looking Forward   While the cabal speaks back through a scrying spell, they learn more about Gabe’s college experience and the notorious Specter Aviation. Plans are made for retribution and then the cabal begins planning searching for the last grimoire.https://youtu.be/Cjo5vaoDvtM

Here’s the Story Told Podcast where recently they’ve interviewed our developers about Exalted Essence and the great houses of Exalted 3rd Edition: https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/

Did you miss that Garblag Games have commenced a new series of Mage: The Ascension? Here’s where you can find the first episode: https://youtu.be/yN47_NjYxtA

Roll the Role continue with their Scarred Lands Gauntlet of Spiragos actual play! Roll the Role is a fantastic show, so please do give them a look: https://www.twitch.tv/rolltherole

And the wonderfully named Scabby Rooster continue their actual play of Scion, right here on their Twitch channel: https://www.twitch.tv/scabbyrooster

One of Matthew’s personal favourites, Devil’s Luck Gaming, continues their Werewolf: The Forsaken chronicle over here: https://www.twitch.tv/DevilsLuckGaming Please do give them a follow!

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

Update: the devs are working on the updates for the roller in both Android and iOS; here is the rundown from them:

1) Redo the UI for system for Android. It will look the same as the current design. My goal is to have something ready by Saturday to send out to the Facebook users, asking them if this fixes the issues. This will be a beta type thing. This will break several of the fancy dice.

2) If the above worked out and the android users give all the clear, we’ll redo the graphics system to fix the fancy dice that got broken. We’ll do another Android beta through Facebook. This might take up to two weeks, as my schedule allows.

3) If everything worked well, we’ll release to Android for real at that point.

4) Port all of the existing stuff to iOS and release on that.

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order!

Deluxe Exalted 3rd Edition continues its fantastic sale at IPR, soon to be joined by Game-Line Bundles! Check them out!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This week the Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties for Dystopia Rising: Evolution will be available in PDF and PoD versions on DriveThruRPG on Wednesday!

Traveling across the wasteland and dealing with all manner of beasties isn’t an easy job, but someone’s got to do it. Using their wits, their strength, and a whole lot of luck, they manage to tame, kill, and drive off creatures that threaten areas of newly built civilization. 

Some highlights of Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties include: 

• Details on some of the terrain and mutated animals you will find in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. 

• Rules for presenting six distinct creatures in your series, and also for customizing your own. 

• Stories about Helnau and her beast-hunting crew as they travel across deserts, through forests, and deal with some of the worst the wastelands have to offer. 

This Wednesday also features the debut of Distant Worlds for Trinity Continuum: Aeon in PDF and PoD versions on DTRPG!

Distant Worlds expands the setting of Trinity Continuum: Aeon with new worlds, new alien mysteries, and rules for playing actual aliens, the secretive telepathic Qin.

Distant Worlds requires both Trinity Continuum: Aeon and the Trinity Continuum Corebook to play. Inside, you will find:

Further information about the eight extrasolar worlds described in Trinity Continuum: Aeon, including new dangers and new opportunities for adventure.

Detailed write-ups of 10 new planets, including one that is home to a recently contacted intelligent alien species.

New technologies for interstellar travel and colonization, as well as a wealth of new devices created by aliens, and new Edges and Paths specifically for interstellar explorers and settlers.

The secrets of humanity’s alien allies, the mysterious Qin. This section includes descriptions of four Qin interstellar colonies as well as rules for creating and playing Qin characters and for designing and using custom-made Qin biosuits.

Conventions!

Though dates are subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s our current list of upcoming conventions:

UKGames Expo: https://www.ukgamesexpo.co.uk/

GenCon: https://www.gencon.com/

Tabletop Scotland: https://tabletopscotland.co.uk/

Gamehole Con: https://www.gameholecon.com/

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Under Alien Suns (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

M20 Rich Bastard’s Guide To Magick (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Wild Hunt (Scion 2nd Edition)

Dead Man’s Rust (Scarred Lands)

V5 The Faithful Undead (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

V5 Trails of Ash and Bone (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

V5 Forbidden Religions (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Redlines

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Second Draft

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Assassins (Trinity Continuum Core)

The Book of Endless Death (Mummy: The Curse 2e)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Development

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Manuscript Approval

Post-Approval Development

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Editing

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Buried Bones: Creating in the Realms of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

LARP Rules (Scion 2nd Edition)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Indexing

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Scion Titanomachy – Wrapping up contracting.

Tales of Aquatic Terror – Contracted.

TC Aeon Terra Firma – One artist was delayed by Covid in Italy, but their art is coming in.

V5 Let the Streets Run Red – Tweaking some art re: WW art approvals.

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

WoD Ghost Hunters

Aberrant – Contacting and contracting.

Pugmire Adventure 

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2

Deviant – Rolling along.

Legendlore – Kickstarter on hiatus.

Technocracy Reloaded (KS) – Awaiting approval.

Cults of the Blood God – Rolling along.

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

Vigil Watch

Duke Rollo Book

Proofing

Trinity Aeon Jumpstart 

Pirates of Pugmire 

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – Inputting proofing comments.

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate – Getting ready to send to WW/Paradox.

Scion Companion – Tweaking art re: proofing notes.

Contagion Chronicle

At Press

TC Distant Worlds – PDF and PoD versions on sale Weds!

Night Horrors : Nameless and Accursed – Prepping PoD files.

Dark Eras 2 – PoD proof shipping.

VtR Spilled Blood – PoD proof shipping.

DR:E Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties – PDF and PoD versions on sale Weds!

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet

They Came from Beneath the Sea!

Geist 2e Anthology – PoD proof coming.

C:tL 2e Oak, Ash, & Thorn – Page XXing.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

20 years ago today, White Wolf launched the New Bremen DigiChat environment. A persistent online setting with hundreds of people online at any given time, it was an early success in playing RPGs with others over the Internet. As Impish Ian Watson sez:

“It was fun in the sense that it was all the wildest WoD stories in one place. When, during V20 development, Vampire players talked about some of their favourite memories happening when they botched? That was NB every day. It was frankly ridiculous and I burned out pretty hard, but I look back on it fondly.”

[ethelbertpaul444-blog]

Which Instant Pot cookbook should you get? We compare the best ones on Amazon

You’ll never have one of those “nothing sounds good” humors again . figcaption> Image: instantaneous container Jumped on the Instant Pot bandwagon, huh? Took you long enough. Accepted! The only question that remains is, um, what do you do with it? With the Instant Pot’s wide range of cooking cleverness, it’s easy to get overwhelmed when trying to figure out the runs: Rice? A pork roast? Eggs? Freaking yogurt?* Sweats nervously* SEE ALSO: The best sous vide machines and cooking devices according to Amazon assesses Sure, “theres” healthy-eating vloggers who situate their recipes on Instagram, but those sped-up videos are direction more hard hard to follow — and when your banquet doesn’t finish up ogling( or perceiving) as excellent, get baffled is inevitable. Luckily, there are still~ physical paper accounts~ of cookbooks that slow down the process — and most are under 15 horses. Well, actually, the majority of members of the good ones too have Kindle versions, but I ramble — it’s the same meaning.( Psst: If you’re not a Kindle Unlimited member hitherto, just know that on Prime Day, you can get three months for $0.99 — and it’s generally roughly $30.) There are a ton on Amazon, but we’ve picked out the ones with the best remembers — so you can be sure that the books actually teach you stuff and don’t stir you more confused than before. “Theres”, of course, the general use cookbooks with traditional American bowls and dinners that even the pickiest eaters will like, as well as journals that home in on a particular food or cuisine like Indian food or a vegan or ketogenic food. There’s even public officials Weight Watchers Instant Pot cookbook. Otherwise, you’ll end up howling at your oven like this TAGEND via GIPHY Amazon will give a preview of most of the books, so they are able to ringlet and take a look at the counter of contents and some illustrates and stimulate your appetite a little bit — which will also give you a sense of knowing whether you’d actually use the book or not. Here are our favorite picks TAGEND General Use These are your “traditional” recipes that would probably be found on the menu of any American diner: BBQ ribs, soups, seafood, bacon and egg breakfasts, the works. Most aim to be healthful and cut down where they are unable, but they’re not specific about any certain diet or weight loss schedule. If you’ve came squeamish eaters in the members of this house, these are the books you’ll want. Instant Pot Cookbook: 1,000 Day Recipes Plan — $8.99 Image: pexels After predicting that this record has 1,000 daytimes of recipes, do you really necessary any more convincing? You could have a different meat event every day for over two years. With the Instant Pot Cookbook: 1,000 Day Recipes Plan, you’ll whip up butternut squash soup, collard greens, chicken tandoori, goose legs, balsamic and rosemary roast beef, shrimp paella, and more( including desserts for those working with a sweet tooth ). Seriously, even the world’s pickiest eaters( me included) are able to obtain multiple things to eat in now. Amazon customer Pam S-G writes: The variety of recipes is outstanding. There aren’t a thousand recipes, but in the back of the book “theres” menu a blueprint for 1000 periods( which accords the designation of the book. Cruising through the cookbook becomes me starving. Many of the recipes are gluten free( I’m trimming carbs to liberate value) which helps the highway I’m living now. These recipes are not the same recipes borrowed from other recipe records and pinterest sheets. They are different and original. I’m looking for cooking them. I’ll update my discus with the( sure to be delicious) results. Even if “youre living in” “the worlds largest” segmented household on countries around the world when it comes to favorite nutrients, this work has got you are covered under a variety of traditional beef and pork meals, soups, vegetarian recipes, seafood, and more. Regardless of the mood everyone is in, you’re covered. The book has a rating of four. 5 out of five hotshots and is a# 1 best-seller, so you can be pretty sure that your snacks from now on are gonna be on top. The physical notebook rolls for $8.99, but you can also download the Kindle version for free here. Image: katie banks Instant Pot Cookbook: 1000 Day Instant Pot Recipes Plan by Katie Banks( paperback) — $8.99 See Details The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook — $9.36 Image: laurel randolph/ excerpt from book Another bestseller comes in the form of the The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook — claiming to have sold over 500,000 reproduces, this notebook is not messing around when it comes to recipe variety. You’ll prepare concepts like chicken tikka masala, corn on the cob, plucked pork, lamb curry, nuts and rice, and a cinnamon raisin French toast bake. You can preview a good quantity of the book on Amazon, and you’ll see that everything is hella detailed and to be laid down with easy-to-understand comparing plots, and they’ll let you know which recipes are vegetarian. This is a book officially endorsed by Instant Pot, so you know you’re in good hands. Amazon customer Kindle Customer writes TAGEND “So easy even a foolish partner like me can shape great meals. This utensil is amazing and I adoration it. I got it for my wife, but in so far I’ve done all the cooking in it. My first banquet was a Sunday pot roast dinner. I’ve never attempted to cook a banquet like this in “peoples lives”. My spouse has always done this in the oven. I was dazed to have this toilet roast come out about as excellent as you could get onto. The inner fix pan is very easy to clean and you’ll want to do more and more with it with each success you have. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants a new undertaking in cook. Do what the book alleges and you’ll have amazing meals right from the start. You should buy this.” As we learned in its consideration of the report, we’ll warn you that this is not the recipe diary for their own families of picky eaters. Many of the recipes aren’t traditional American meat, which isn’t likely to go over well with kids who won’t feed anything past BBQ ribs or chicken noodle soup. This book does, nonetheless, list out specific recipes and sheets for festivities like Christmas, Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, and Jewish festivities, which I thought was a nice touch. It also has a 4.0 out of five stellar rating and has been reviewed by over 2,000 people, so even if some of the recipes are a little whimsical, it’s surely still worth trying. The physical follow goes for $9.36, and you can get it on Kindle Unlimited for free. Image: laurel rudolph The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook by Laurel Rudolph — $9.36 See Details How to Instant Pot: Mastering All the Functions of the One Pot That Will Change the Way You Cook — $11.36 Image: screenshot/ excerpt from book Pause: It’d be nice if you actually understood all of the things your Instant Pot can do, right? Though the other cookbooks will obviously explain steps, if you’re new to this, somehow ensure that they are able to shape yogurt and roasted chicken in the same gadget is very easy to get a tad devastating. Rejoice, newbies: How to Instant Pot is your ticket to the ins and outs of this fancy apparatu, basically acting as an “Instant Pot for Dummies” manual. Yes, “Instant Pot” is totally a verb. Amazon customer Susan writes: “This is a well-written, practical work about Instant Pot cooking that gave me confidence in using the Pot right out of the box. Each recipe paths you through how to use and defined each Pot feature( particularly with the Influence rectifying ), and while this might seem redundant to recite these situations at first glance, it actually reassured me that I was doing it right. Eventually that knowledge will be coming second nature, but in the meantime….I feel confident in exactly following the clear instructions. The recipes are delicious and run. I most recommend this diary as a first Instant Pot leader, with the added benefit of exemplary recipes…it actually may be all the Instant Pot record you’ll ever need! “ You’ll have the option to make a spread of things, from meat and potatoes beef mixture, to chorizo, to corn on the cob, to squash soup, as well as a ton of mouth-watering desserts. That’s lava cakes in the picture up there, by the way. Not only are you coming one tonne of really good recipes, but you’re coming a detailed breakdown to seeing how to do everything — down to what each button entails, what the numbers on your LCD screen mean, and even how to empty it correctly. Thanks, Daniel Shumski. Overall, the book has a 4.5 out of five star rating, and you can tell time by predicting the reviews that this work is a lifesaver for people who have no idea what they’re doing. Get the Kindle version for $8.61 or the paperback copy for $11.36 here. Image: daniel shumski How to Instant Pot by Daniel Shumski — $11.36 See Details Diet and cuisine-specific cookbooks Not a flesh eater? You’re embraced. On that old school paleo diet? Gotchu. Watching your weight? Yup. Love Indian nutrient? Yup, there’s a diary on that, too. The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook for Your Instant Pot — $13.99 Image: pexels Think keeping up with a vegan diet is hard? Think again, sidekick. Best-selling author Kathy Hester raises The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook for Your Instant Pot: 80 Easy and Delicious Plant-Based Recipes to your kitchen, taking the coercion of snacking vegan off the table. As the entitlement hints, you’ll get to choose from 80 vegan recipes that involve sauteing, steaming, stres cook, and gradual cook — AKA frozen vegetarian chicken nuggets and bread are no longer your alone cheap options. Whip up stuffs like southern-style pinto beans, creamy sprout curry, cornbread, and Tres Leches-inspired dessert tamales. Dang, that sounds like a fancy restaurant menu. You’ll too learn how to shape your own homemade spices like soy yogurt, marinara sauce, and almond milk. Amazon customer Melissa V . writes TAGEND “I am new to the “Instant Pot” macrocosm – this volume is AWESOME! Applying ingredients that you can find and understandable stairs – utters for a successful recipe every time! Pretty illustrates add to each recipe and desire the snips and storeys! If you are vegan and have an jiffy container – this book is an IDEAL addition to being able to your cookbook stockpile! “ Compared to a lot of the other notebooks where the Kindle version is free-spoken, this one’s a bit pricier at $11.99 for Kindle — if you consider 12 bucks to “pricey”. The volume has only one impressive 4.3 out of five wizard rating, so they are able to at the least know you’re getting your money’s merit. At any rate, a little extra will be worth it when you can actually prepare your own vegan meals and don’t have to eat at Whole Foods all the time. You can also get the physical photocopy for $13.99 here. Image: kathy hester The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook for Your Instant Pot by Kathy Hester — $13.99 See Details Paleo Cooking With Your Instant Pot: 80 Phenomenal Gluten and Grain-Free Recipes — $6.24 Image: pixabay If you’re attempting a paleo nutrition or have even done a tinge of research, you know that it’s certain challenges and a half. You’re devouring gluten-, grain-, and dairy- free — the idea is pretty much “If a caveman didn’t eat it, neither should you.” So, meats, fish, leafy greens, nuts, and seeds are your palette, and it can get tiring trying to think of new snacks that don’t imply any dough or pasta. Many claim that the health benefits genuinely do outweigh the hardest, though, and Paleo Cooking With Your Instant Pot: 80 Stupendous Gluten and Grain-Free Recipes builds this ancient space of dining suddenly appear modern AF. Amazon customer Sara writes: “I have every book she has done and this one is just as amazing as the residual! For a crazy hectic mama this is the perfect route is capable of being make a healthy meal and fast for my family. So many shocking recipes from dinners to even desserts using your instant potty! We manufactured the beef mixture and it was a thump !! Energized to compile something else tomorrow. Highly recommend this book and would be great talent for anyone else as well !! “ Finally , some damn hodgepodge. Opt from 80 recipes that involve sauteing, steaming, persuade prepare, and gradual fix. Some reviews do forewarn that the cooking occasions in this bible are a little short-lived, so if your intestine is telling you to cook something a little longer, you’re likely right. “Instant” is simply signify so much better. However, it’s the only paleo Instant Pot cookbook accessible right now( and still has 4.5 out of 5 hotshots) so don’t make that sway your decision too much. The Kindle version is $9.99 instead of free with this one, but that’s still pretty cheap IMO. You can also snag the paperback form for $12.84 or a spiral secure copy for $28.99 here. Image: jennifer robins Paleo Cooking With Your Instant Pot: 80 Marvelous Gluten and Grain-Free Recipes — $6.24 See Details Traditional Indian Instant Pot Cookbook — $9.86 Image: urvashi pitre/ excerpt from book Author Urvashi Pitre, or should I pronounce, the literal queen of recipe works, brings you the taste of a traditional Indian restaurant with the Traditional Indian Instant Pot Cookbook. That is, without the expensive toll and your attendant forgetting to introduce more spray.( Seriously, Pitre is great — almost every single evaluate compensates homage her diaries and her blog .) With this # 1 best-seller, you’ll have access to 50 easy AF recipes that call for minimum ingredients and can be ready in 60 hours or less. She’ll too yield a bit background on cooking for her family in India when she was young and how their Punjab and Maharashtra languages affected her saucers. This basically tells you know that she knows what she’s talking about — plus, it’s just really heartwarming to predict.( You can preview all of this on Amazon .) Amazon customer AmazonPrime Junkie writes: “This is my 22 nd Instant Pot cookbook( total count across both hardcopy and foment ). So to reply I’ve laid attentions upon a few IP cookbooks it a bit of an understatement. The recipes I’ve managed to read through so far are all clearly written in simple easy-to-understand stairs; the ingredients are all things I’ve heard of, that I can stress, and that I know where to find in my regular grocery store. Seriously, what’s not to adore here? Lastly, after 21 other Instant Pot cookbooks — the 22 nd one is the clear champion! “ After reading through around 500 five-star reviews and hearing a 4.7 out of five perform average rating, what we’ve gathered is this: If you like Indian food even a tiny bit, buy this. The volume are smaller than 10 horses, and the amount of money you’ll save by not chewing out 24/7 now that you can concoct the fancy bowls on your own will really add up. Snag the paperback version for $9.86 or the Kindle Unlimited explanation for free here. ( If you’re more of an aura fryer party, Pitre also has a stellar journal with 100 air fryer recipes .) Image: urvashi pitre Traditional Indian Instant Pot Cookbook by Urvashi Pitre — $9.86 See Details The Keto Instant Pot Cookbook — $11.98 Image: urvashi pitre/ excerpt from book Damn, Urvashi Pitre, back at it again with another crazy popular cookbook — this time with the Keto Instant Pot Cookbook. The keto instruct( high fatten, moderate protein, low-pitched carb) can definitely have a bit of a ascertain bow, particularly for people who love bread and pasta more than they love their own family members( sorry mummy) but this volume wants to help make some of that exasperation away. Ingesting keto is no longer just something you visualize Rachel Ray talking about. Before coming into the actual recipes, Pitre dives in to what the keto diet actually signifies: She’ll bust myths, give meal prep and coin saving gratuities, as munching a lot of meat and no carbs can get expensive. Apparently, expending a pressure cooker breaks down and tenderizes tougher strokes so you can buy the less expensive ones. Persuade cooking can also melt down fattier slasheds( which you previously may have disposed) for a melt-in-your-mouth feel. Amazon customer Kathleen E. Bowen writes TAGEND “Just Wow! I am SO happy to have ‘found’ Urvashi Pitre and her amazing ‘stupid easy’ recipes( and if you have not yet said and done buy her Instant Pot Indian cookbook this very instant ). Not one has failed…she has researched experimented tested to ensure the recipes will work! I pre-ordered the hard copy of this diary and was then able to add the kindle form for 99 cents. And – even though this is a Keto IP book, it is NOT for only those following a ketogenic diet! Nope – you can add carbs as areas, etc. So, it is a matter of EVERYONE !! “ Most parts the book calls for are under 12 net carbs per serving: dark leafy light-greens like spinach, cruciferous veggies like kale and cauliflower, high-pitched overweight dairy like greek yogurt, as well as assorted cheese, spices, seeds, and berries. The book has a 4.3 out of five whiz rating on Amazon, and is also apparently the only keto cookbook officially authorized by Instant Pot, so you don’t have to mistrust if it’s legit or not. Get the paperback account for $11.98 or the Kindle Unlimited copy for free here. Image: urvashi pitre The Keto Instant Pot Cookbook by Urvashi Pitre — $11.98 See Details Weight Watchers Freestyle Instant Cookbook — $5.38 Image: pexels Dieting doesn’t have to be a pain in the ass, y’all — not with the handy AF combo of Weight Watchers and Instant Pot. And astound, you don’t have to eat salad for every banquet: You’ll get 150 recipes for soups, stews, chilis, cooks, back foods and even deserts — all labeled with their Smart Points value so you know exactly what you’re putting into your form. What are smart moments, you ask? Well, basically Weight Watcher’s version of healthy gobbling for dummies. Don’t worry, the intro summarizes it all in easy expressions, and learning about Smart Points will help you understand the best ratios for solid, sugar, protein, and more, and how the number of members of calories isn’t the only factor when it comes to weight loss. You know, all that discipline nutrition stuff. Amazon customer HAPPY 3writes TAGEND “Five stars? Is that everything I can give? Genuinely, this bible deserves so much more.The information provided on these sheets, as well as the suggestion it mustered, are worth far more than five whizs and I would consider this diary to be a great buy at twice the price. Its many of luscious recipes that fortitude your mas while losing heavines! i was actually amazed by how much useful suggestions squeezed in such a short book.” We’d intimate reading a few more of its consideration of the report for yourself — the book itself has a 4.1 out of five starring rating, and purchasers in the reviews are avidly recommending it to other books. Losing heavines? While munching food that doesn’t delicacy like cardboard? Is this real life? Get the paperback copy for $5.38 or the Kindle Unlimited form for free here. Image: sally walker Weight Watchers Freestyle Instant Cookbook by Sally Walker — $5.38 See Details If you’re not a part of the Instant Pot fam more, you can check out our guide on which Instant Pot is better for you here.( Psst: The brand new Instant Pot Max is likewise throwing on August 1, so even you’re waiting until then to put the $200, you can still snag a cookbook now and be prepared .) Read more: https :// mashable.com/ 2018/07/ 16/ best-instant-pot-cookbooks / http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/07/17/which-instant-pot-cookbook-should-you-get-we-compare-the-best-ones-on-amazon/

[your-sohini-blog]

20 Gifts For The Traveller In Your Life

Explore my gift guide for all the world travellers in your life! Covering everything from essentials to tech, clothing, footwear, inspiration & more.

Shake it like a polaroid picture! An Instax instant camera makes the perfect gift, printing out cute little polaroids instantly & making memorable keepsakes for life. In a world of digital images and phone photography, its a good feeling to be able to hold an actual photo in your hands. Get it here. Available in a few different colours.

2. This is kind of a no brainer, but a journal & an inky black pen is a gift that's always appreciated. It's a great way to pass time on long flights or while relaxing on the beach, and of course perfect to keep track of everything you get up to while in exotic lands. Write about all the places you visit everyday, doodle little images that have stuck in your brain, note down funny or cool stories you've heard from locals. It'll become a precious trip down memory lane when you're older.

Available on Fancy

Available on PropShop24

Available on PropShop24

3. Classic black sneakers will save your day almost every single day. Packing light is essential to an enjoyable holiday, and nothing is as versatile as a dark black shoe (that's comfy AF). Matches everything. Keeps your feet happy during the insane amounts of walking you will inevitably do on any vacation. Remember to always buy half a size bigger than your usual size when it comes to sneaks or closed shoes that are worn for long durations.

For Her

For Him

4. Also a total no brainer. Probably the most useful small object that can be packed on any trip. I bought one for my dad 8 years ago (he goes into the mountains to hike at least 3-4 times a year) and he takes it on every trip he goes on without fail. Get the original Victorinox version for guaranteed quality & flawless design.

5. Good sleep = happy travels. Get this set from Chumbak.

6. Music is essential for long journeys, long layovers and even longer sleepless jet-lagged nights. These headphones from Sony are tried & tested, have a clean, classic design and solid, dependable, clear sound without breaking the bank. Available in a variety of colours too. Available on Amazon.

7. Make your passport look oh so pretty, and safe from bending, scratches & other damages. Shop the beachy one here & the coordinated Mr&Mrs set here. Both from PropShop24.

8. Imagine getting to a far-off destination after months of planning and realising you can't charge any of your stuff. Prevent a nightmare with this international travel adaptor, available here.

9. I recently got into adult colouring books and found that it calms me down and passes time blissfully like very few other things. I have this Lost Ocean book and just can't get enough. The images are large, the pages are thick and creamy, and the designs are intricate and truly stunning. Apt for a rainy day or for inspiration in between travels. Add a set of Staedtler Water Colour pencils (the best ever), which are perfectly smooth colour pencils that transform to water colour when you run a wet brush over the paper. They allow for shading, blending, and shadowing, and don't seep through to the other side. Get the book here and the pencils here.

10. A sleek & durable carry-on roller makes for effortless travel. I prefer hard cases over soft because they also make a great footrest at airports, and because your delicate stuff (like make-up & electronics) stays safe & secure. A gunmetal grey or similar neutral tone looks best. Get this one here.

11. Trust me when I say you don't want to take an expensive watch on holiday (or any expensive jewellery for that matter). Watches tend to get stolen, lost, damaged or even broken quite easily. My partner had his watch stolen right off his hand in Barcelona without even realising it was gone for a good 20 minutes. These inexpensive yet cute watches will help you keep track of the local time no matter where you are, without the stress of potentially losing something very valuable.

For Her

For Him

12. An icy bed is nothing to look forward to, so all the cold weather travellers rejoice! This plug in heating pad is the ideal way to warm up your bed before tucking yourself in and can be a real life saver in extreme climates. You can even leave it on next to you or near your feet and go to sleep for guaranteed toasty-ness. Being snug as a bug just took on a whole new meaning. Shop here.

13. A classic beige double breasted trench coat is an extremely versatile closet staple that everyone needs. It makes a great gift because it's lightweight and easy to pack, thin enough for a slight nip in the air but can be worn with layers for added warmth, it's a piece that will never ever go out of style, and of course it just looks so cute when worn with just about anything from jeans and a t-shirt to a formal dress and heels. This glorious one is available on Asos.

14. Ever try to climb some rocks barefoot to jump into the sea? Or tried to go snorkelling barefoot and stepped on all sorts of pokey, spiky things while entering the water? I have and yeah, it's not fun. Shoes that can be worn into the water and while swimming are a lifesaver, they will protect your feet from cuts, scratches, bruises and even sharp objects & creatures on the sea floor (such as sea urchins). They're also ideal for light hiking & trekking through rivers, streams, lakes, puddles and along the sea shore. The low rise slip-ons are better for less intense activity such as snorkelling or swimming in rocky oceans, whereas the lace-up versions will take you through a forest walk and through a rivulet with ease.

Pink & grey from Speedo, available here.

The mesh openings on the soles of the shoe let all the water out, keeping your feet ultra comfy.

Shop here.

For the boys. Blue & black slip-ons available here.

A great water shoe by Adidas that users swear by. Shop here.

15. A solar powered battery pack to charge all your gear on the go, shop now.

16. For the ocean lover in your life who just can't get enough of the big blue sea. Shop from Fancy.

17. A set of refillable plastic bottles for all your shower needs that meet international carry-on regulations. A clear plastic pouch helps you get through security checks with ease. Buy here.

18. With an anti-glare screen and a travel friendly hand-held size, a Kindle is the best company. Store thousands of books & magazines, and read them anywhere from the beach, to a boat or a plane or the back of a bike. For the book worm traveller who never leaves home without something to read. Shop here.

19. Thin, luxurious, ultra absorbent & quick-drying towels made of 100% cotton. No more packing bulky towels that take up half your bag and take ages to dry. Not to forget that they're allergen free (since they're pure cotton) and won't irritate even the most sensitive skin. Get them here.

20. Amazon Prime Video is a great way to watch all the latest movies, tv shows and entertainment on a variety of different devices. They can be saved to offline mode so you can watch on the go and never miss any of your favourites. Plus watching a movie in bed is such a lovely way to spend a jet-lagged or tired evening when you just need to unwind from the hecticness of travel. For this you will need to purchase an Amazon Gift Card worth a minimum of Rs.500 and then tell the receiver of the gift card to redeem it on getting a Prime membership (which also includes free 1-2 day shipping on applicable items, apart from a whole world of movies & shows).

I hope my gift guide inspired you to get something fabulous for the jet-setter in your life. All these gifts are not only unique, but also useful, with direct links to shop each piece. This is a completely unsponsored post and I do not make any commission on pieces that are sold through any of these sites. This is simply my list of gifts any traveller would love to get! I'll be back soon with more content, just for you! xx

For more interesting blogs :- Jasleen Gill- Style, Travel & Beauty Blog

Goa Travel Guide

Travel Guide

Travel Blogger

Indian Blogger

Indian Travel Blog

Travel Tips

Travel Diaries

[paultys]

We left the UK on a new adventure just over two years and four months ago. Although Bev had work, and would be teaching albeit in very different circumstance, I was stepping into the complete unknown, no job, no plan, no clue. I knew I would have some time on the Island, and I had always wanted to take up photography as a hobby, so equipped with an amazon kindle book, and a £500 second hand canon with kit lens I started learning what all the buttons did.

=

–

Some of my earliest shots before I left the UK

I had no idea that it would take me anywhere. When we arrived on the Island I secured my first job with the tourism office, taking photos of the local restaurants and B&Bs etc. I had to get a work permit and register my business, Paul Tyson Photography (creative eh!?!) .

Photos of mixed standards of tourism establishments required creative thinking when it came to angles and lighting. Now I know why those glossy hotel brochures always look better than the real thing!

My landscape work was already quite well known and established by then, it seems I arrived at a  good time when excellent professional photographer Darrin Henry was busy travelling the wold, and there were no other commercial photographers on the Island. Realising there was a gap in the market I promoted my new business, I remember Bev telling me, that “Any money I made from photography, I could spend on photography, but “(quite understandably) I wasn’t to spend any of the money she was earning!

Early St Helena Landscapes

Fair enough, but this provided me all the motivation I needed, the more money I make, the more toys I can buy. Inspired, and slightly jealous of friend David Higgins and his big lens for photographing ST Helena’s wildlife, bought a lens, one of those ones that people look at and think “he must be making up for something” or, “what a dick”!

My new f2.8 300mm lens allowed me to take these shots.

But I loved it and I could afford it, largely because of a new contract, and one I was most proud of, a commission from French Consul to St Helena to take exclusive photographs for a new guide book to Napoleonic sites on St Helena.

Photos and book cover from “On the Tracks of Napoleon” my first published images.

Next came night skies, we finally started to see the odd clear night sky and it was breathtaking, I simply had to get the gear to capture it on camera, another lens beckoned.

Some of my first Milky Way shots over our house in Half Tree Hollow.

In the mean time I was getting enquirers for studio type photo shoots, so though I should pursue this and get some more gear, backdrops, flash stands, wireless triggers and shoot through umbrellas followed. I think by now Bev may of been starting to regret telling me  I could spend anything I earnt on photography!!

The studio work didn’t automatically follow though, the requests continued, but, having set what I considered to be very reasonable, even low prices given the outlay I had made, bookings did not come my way. My first studio shoot eventually came at the end of November 2015, it went well, very well, largely because of the gorgeous little girl I was photographing, and once the photos hit facebook the bookings came in.

My first studio shoot with the most gorgeous, smiling, happy young baby ever!

I soon began to realise that studio photo shoots, and portraits was a whole new ball game, and once again I started to feel the need to buy more gear. This time, it was a brand new camera, my first full frame, entry level professional camera. Wow what a difference it allowed me to push the boundaries of what I could do, particularly in low light photography. Following on from basic studio work I was asked for more complex fashion type shoots, and my first real maternity shoot.

Some of my more accomplished studio work. Many were no where like this, over processed and overdone in many cases, but all part of the learning curve.

Again it was a new commission that helped pay for the new camera, work to photograph all of the work that falls under St Helena Government Environment and Natural Resources division. This was a fantastic job, allowing me to see the workings of everything from the forestry team to the abattoir, from renewable energy to waste management. It was a mammoth job but again thoroughly enjoyable as I got to meet Saints from all walks of life.

From pigs in the butchery to people planting endemic seedlings, ENRD does it all.

In September 2015 the airport project started to hot up, as first flight after first flight landed in succession. First ever plane to land, first jet powered plane, first airliner. By now I had grown in confidence as a photographer and on the Island in general and I was pushy enough to speak to the important people and get myself runway access alongside the Islands media representatives. The results of this have been amazing, and my airport photographs can now been seen around the World as St Helena became the new hot tourism destination and my shots our the Islands wonderful landscape started to appear in prestigious travel sites such as Conde Nast.  Of course we all know that the airport did not open, but in terms of World media this was now an even bigger story and I had contacts from major newspapers and media outlets around the world. My photos of the airport and various planes landing can now been seen globally on sites ranging from the Times, the Independent and the BBC to USA today. Shots of the first commercial plane to land were quickly put on my facebook page and received over 100,000 views, astounding!

The first landing and first commercial jet liner to land on St Helena

Not only were my photos appearing in media outlets, I was now to be featured in World Famous London store Harrods, as I was commissioned to produce point of sale images for St Helena coffee!

Fancy a coffee? I have to admit this is one of my favorite photos, taken on a log in my lounge! The steam isn’t even real!

Photo shoots became a mainstay but a new and interesting job came up with Enterprise St Helena to produce interpretation panels for tourist spots around the Island. This was a brilliant new challenge, combining photography with graphic design and writing, as well as proving a fascinating journey through St Helena historical archives and old photos. Learning more about the history of the Island and getting paid was great, but more importantly its wonderful to know that when I leave St Helena there will be something I produced, left behind for others to enjoy.

One of 14 interpretation panels soon to be erected across St Helena.

As an aside I was also able to use my graphic skills when I was commissioned to produce the Governors official Christmas card. This was a test in itself, as the request was for a card featuring Lisa Phillips, her lovely black Labrador, dusty, and all twelve of Dusty’s new puppies!! Over 140 photos were taken to produce this card, mostly consisting of dogs bums and tails. But it was a huge pleasure, and the puppies were just lovely.

Governor Lisa Phillips and her adorable Labrador pups. As a thank you for this job the boys were able to go and meet the puppies and spent over an hour cuddling and playing with them. They are fabulous.

And so in December and January 2016/17 I find myself as a wedding photographer, with four bookings in as many weeks. Not my first I have done a few here and there, but as I have improved along with my gear these have been the first that I have charged sensibly for (relative to the amount of work) and that I feel accomplished in my work. I am enormously proud of the photos I have taken during wedding season. It is certainly a challenge, working fast, adjusting to rapidly changing light conditions, the photography is a challenge in itself, but its only now that I realise a wedding photographer is also the wedding director, and is looked upon to direct people from venue to venue, into groups, and to help ensure the day runs smoothly. It is daunting, hard work, but immensely rewarding.

If you’d of told me back in July 2014, as we packed our bags for the unknown that I would be a professional wedding photographer before I left St Helena Id of laughed at you, but as the New Year arrives and I look back on my time here I have come a long way. I am building both experience and a portfolio, and who knows where this may take me.

My readers can help me out here, have you recently got married in the UK, or been a close part of a wedding. How much did you pay the photographer, and how do my images compare to this. Id love to hear some open honest critique so I can better gauge exactly where I am.

        Weddings, who’d of though it We left the UK on a new adventure just over two years and four months ago. Although Bev had work, and would be teaching albeit in very different circumstance, I was stepping into the complete unknown, no job, no plan, no clue.

[televinita]

Books Read in 2016: The Why

Why did you read this book?

That’s a question I stumbled across in a book meme about your last / current book. And I immediately thought, what if I answered that question for every book I read this year?

Yes, a lot of these do boil down to "because the summary talked about things that interest me," but hey, now you know me a little better. And perhaps this will be of interest to others who have read some of these same books for different reasons. Listed in order of when they were read because it was enough work to split them by category.

(now with photos!)

FICTION

Where the Heart Is - Billie Letts. 1995. Why I read it: Last year I read The Shelf: From LEQ to LES, so I decided to try the author's experiment at my own local library, and this one looked best out of my options. Without recognizing the title, I was immediately drawn to the concepts of a small midwestern town, a found-family community, and a pregnant teenager having to figure out how to make a life for herself from scratch.

The Honk and Holler Opening Soon - Billie Letts. 1998. Why I read it: Since I liked the previous book so much, I went for one that looked similarly intriging due to the elements of a failing country diner, a woman with a 3-legged dog and another found-family community.

These Girls - Sarah Pekkanen. 2012. Why I read it: I struggle to find adult (a.k.a. not YA) fiction that will appeal to me, being deeply bored by most specialty genres as well as most acclaimed literary novels, so I'm always on the lookout for options. After the cover intrigued me enough at a book sale to read the back, these characters seemed like they had pretty interesting careers, plus they were fairly young for adults.

Catching Air - Sarah Pekkanen. 2014. Why I read it: I loved These Girls, so out of the many other options from this author, I gravitated towards the one with characters living out one version of my dream life, a/k/a two couples starting a B&B.

600 Hours of Edward - Craig Lancaster. 2012. Why I read it: I was having a renaissance of affectionate feelings for Spencer Reid of Criminal Minds and wanted to read a book where I could imagine him as the main character. Decided the best way to do that would be to pick a book about someone with Asperger's. Much research later, this one had the best reviews that didn't mention foul language.

Edward Adrift - Craig Lancaster. 2013. Why I read it: See above: my mental casting + book research was a success and I wanted more of him.

House of Glass - Sophie Littlefield. 304 pg/2014. Why I read it: I went back to the "L's" in hopes of repeating my success with Billie Letts. This one offered me a home invasion and a family being held hostage. That's a good 18 varieties of hurt/comfort in one.

Breed of Giants - Joyce Stranger. 1966. Why I read it: I I stumbled upon this author when Goodreads recommended The January Queen to me. She apparently was once very popular in England but seems nigh-unknown in the U.S., which is too bad because she wrote dozens of books featuring animals aimed at an adult audience, and I wanted to read them all immediately because vintage + animals = my jam. I decided on this one first since the state libraries did not have The January Queen, and one doesn't often find Shires starring in books.

And Then She Was Gone - Rosalind Noonan. 2013. Why I read it: I watch a lot of crime shows, but what they don't show you is the aftermath: when the rescued abductee comes home and has to readjust to life with her family. That interests me, too.

The Running Foxes - Joyce Stranger. 1966. Why I read it: It was taking too long to call in Joyce Stranger novels via Interlibrary Loan, so I turned to the one I realized I had owned for a while, and had in fact picked up solely because it was cheap and old and ostensibly about foxes and (incorrectly) in the juvenile section. It also turned out to be a semi-sequel to Breed of Giants.

Mandrake Root - Janet Diebold. 1946. Why I read it: I found this old book at an estate sale, thought its plain green cover with indented lettering was attractive, and was so enchanted by the first page talking about a woman riding her bike through the forest at night in a foreign European country that I plunged into it without even knowing what it was going to be about.

My One Square Inch of Alaska - Sharon Short. 2013. Why I read it: Picked up cheap at a library sale. I honestly thought it was going to be the story of a young woman staking claim to a homestead in Alaska with her dog. (it wasn't. but it was still great)

A House By the Side of the Road - Jan Gleiter. 1998. Why I read it: Also picked up a cheap at the library sale. Single woman inherits a huge old house? That’s the dream.

Watermelon - Marian Keyes. 1995. Why I read it: I was still feeling burned by NCIS's cheating-husband reveal, and this had the same plot but with a baby, so I thought it might help me work through my grumpiness to see how a fictional character did it. It also seemed like breezy and appealing chick lit, and the fancy green-and-pink cover with an attractively shot photo of a pregnant woman in a white sundress tipped the scales.

Rizzoli & Isles #5: Vanish - Tess Gerritsen. 2006. Why I read it: Long story short, I knew that Billy Burke played Agent Dean briefly on the TV series that I've never seen but always wanted to, and when I learned he was Rizzoli's husband in the book series I'd never read, I was like "hot damn" and set about researching which one would give me the highest quality ship content. According to the reviews, this one had chapters from Dean's POV while Jane was being held hostage in the hospital while pregnant. What is "everything I want ALWAYS."

Rizzoli & Isles #2: The Apprentice - Tess Gerritsen. 2002. [8/6] Why I read it: I enjoyed the writing style of #5 so much -- it was as much fun as the Nikki Heat books that let me picture Castle & Beckett, but better quality writing -- that I decided to go see how this relationship started, and from there I enjoyed everything so much that I continued on with the series in order.

Also read: Rizzoli & Isles #3, 4, and 6-11 in chronological order until I ran out of books. Each one was an equally enjoyable treat.

Under the Knife - Tess Gerritsen. 1990. Why I read it: I figured a medical mystery would be just as exciting as her other work, since I wasn't ready to finish the R&I series at the time.

The X-Files tie-in: Ruins - Kevin J. Anderson. 1995. Why I read it: This used to be an annual reread -- it's just been far too long since I picked up my favorite of all the X-Files tie-in novels. Yucatan jungle + Mayan ruins + feathered serpent aliens?? Yeah, baby.

Winner - Maureen O’donoghue Why I read it: Recommended to me years ago as a good book featuring horses aimed at adults. I subsequently found it at a garage sale, but never had the patience to start it because it's so long, until I took it off the shelf to write down the author's name / look it up, started browsing the first chapter, and found myself so fascinated that I read it overnight.

YOUNG ADULT

I'll Meet You There - Heather Demetrios. 2015. Why I read it: This was recommended to me on Goodreads. I loved the idea of a teenager working in a quirky motel in order to support herself / get to college, plus I haven't seen much YA that deals with disabled veterans under 22.

What Happened to Lani Garver - Carol Plum-Ucci. 2002. Why I read it: Reread this high school favorite after Goodreads reminded me of its existence, eager to reabsorb its powerful content.

Young Widows Club - Alexandra Coutts. 2015. Why I read it: It was a concept I'd never seen: someone who not only got married to a peer in high school, but had her husband die before she turned 18 (suddenly, of natural causes). And I love a good novel about grief and recovery.

The Fall - Bethany Griffin. 2014. Why I read it: I love haunted-house stories in the movies, but I'm more interested in the spooky house than the ghosts, so it's hard to find books that do the trick. The literary tie-in to the House of Usher tipped the scales in this one's favor.

The Spell Book of Listen Taylor - Jaclyn Moriarty. 2007. Why I read it: Quirky title, an attractive design, breezy writing and a neat-looking blend of reality with hints of magic.

You Have Seven Messages - Stewart Lewis. 2011. Why I read it: Looked like a quick and easy read, standard YA fare with elements of grief and mystery. I wanted to know what the seven messages said!

The Truth About You and Me - Amanda Grace. 2013. Why I read it: I am a sucker for student/teacher stories with a minimal age difference where the attraction is genuine and intellectual, not a hookup. Plus the girl on the cover reminded me of Lux from Life Unexpected, and I am always two seconds away from plunging into nostalgic despair for that beautiful ship.

Keeping the Castle - Patrice Kindl. 2012. Why I read it: So, I love Jane Austen. And the plot summary basically described a Jane Austen novel, but in YA, and where the main character rather than her mother is the one scheming to get a husband...in order to add sufficient money to her title to keep her family's MODERN-DAY (1700s) CASTLE. Jane Austen + fancy historic house??

Subway Love - Nora Leigh Baskin. 2014. Why I read it: The cover was pretty, I was interested in the hippie girl, and it was a cutely compact book.

Goodnight, Cinderella - Richard Posner. 1989. Why I read it: Picked up cheap at a library sale, I was mostly just enchanted by its super-80s illustrated cover, and decided I wanted to read a super-80s YA novel about Prom.

Out of the Shadows - Sarah Singleton. 2006. Why I read it: Elizabethan England is one of my favorite periods in European history -- but you don't hear much about the English Catholics during this time. And while I'm not much for fairy stories, the cover made her look like a tree fairy. Nature fairies, I'm fine with.

Everything, Everything - Nicola Yoon. 2015. Why I read it: This has been promoted enough that I wanted to join the conversation. I was intrigued by the concept of a girl who's so allergic to things that she can't go outside.

One Thing Stolen - Beth Kephart. 2015. Why I read it: I was hoping for lyrical writing about Italy.

Dead Girls Don't Lie - Jennifer Shaw Wolf. 2013. Why I read it: I usually enjoy standalone YA murder mystery thrillers.

Out of the Easy - Ruta Sepetys. 2013. Why I read it: I really enjoyed her first historical novel (Between Shades of Grey) and I was excited to read one set in New Orleans.

The Art of Secrets - James Klise. 2014. Why I read it: Because what's more exciting than someone donating artwork to a high school charity fundraiser that turns out to be of priceless historic value? Unless there's also a mystery about who set a fire that destroyed the home of a minority family and why.

Time Between Us - Tamara Ireland Stone. 2012 Why I read it: I don't like time travel stories, especially love stories, but my resistance was overcome 50% because of how pretty the cover model is and 50% because I wanted to read a YA novel set in the 90s.

Time After Time - Tamara Ireland Stone. 2013. Why I read it: And the sequel, because I fell in love with the characters and their love story and needed more.

The Chapel Wars - Lindsay Leavitt. 2014. Why I read it: I enjoyed her first novel (Going Vintage) and thought it'd be fun to read about a teenager who's just inherited the family business: a wedding chapel in Las Vegas. How will she manage the responsibilities?

My Life as a Rhombus - Varian Johnson. 2007. Why I read it: Every so often I get an urge to read teen pregnancy stories. But I've never seen one where the pregnancy is given to a secondary character and the narrator once had an abortion.

All We Have Is Now - Lisa Schroeder. 2015. Why I read it: Sometimes I'm just in the mood for "it's the last night on earth" stories in YA. I always wonder what I'd do in that situation, so I like to see different scenearios.

Thunderwith - Libby Hawthorne. 1989. Why I read it: Reread of one of my favorite books in high school, to relive the magic of being transported to the Australian outback and a stray dog who may or may not be a phantom as he randomly comes and goes.

A School For Brides - Patrice Kindl. 2015. Why I read it: Sequel to Keeping the Castle. I definitely wanted to spend more time in Lesser Hoo.

After The Woods - Kim Savage. 2016. Why I read it: This one was recommended to me by Goodreads -- again, I usually enjoy YA thrillers.

Emily's Dress, And Other Missing Things - Kathryn Burak. 2012. Why I read it: Keywords: Emily Dickinson, grief recovery, road-trip, quasi-student/teacher romance but with all possible legal objections stripped out.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs. 2011. Why I read it: I saw the movie in the theater and immediately wanted to relive the experience. Since that wasn't possible, I figured rereading the book would do the trick. Plus I wanted to confirm how much the movie had changed.

Hollow City AND Library of Souls - Ransom Riggs. 2014/2015. Why I read it: The Miss Peregrine sequels didn't exist when I read the first book. I had been waiting to do a reread so the story would be fresh in my mind before continuing, so once I had, it was time to go full speed ahead to finish this awesome trilogy.

Tales of the Peculiar - Ransom Riggs. 2016. Why I read it: Having finished the trilogy, I had to round off the collection.

Leap of Faith - Jamie Blair. 2013. Why I read it: I was hunting around for solid love stories in YA, and I am a sucker for stories that involve a teenage girl moving somewhere random and having to build a life for herself.

Don't Fail Me Now - Una LaMarche. 2015. Why I read it: I am also a sucker for girls whose parents abandon them or quit working so that they have to get a job and scramble to keep their family afloat. This one was set in the inner city, a world that fascinates me because it seems so difficult and I can't imagine how people do it, AND it featured a road trip, another favorite staple in YA. Further intriguing was that it was about a black girl for whom drug use / gangs / teen pregnancy did not appear to be staples of the story.

A Handful of Dust - Mindy McGinnis. 2014. Why I read it: Sequel to the awesome Not a Drop to Drink -- I love the post-apocalytpic survivalist world she's created.

37 Things I Love - Kekla Magoon. 2012. Why I read it: I was in the mood for a light, fluffy high school beach read and the cover tricked me into thinking this was one.

Everything You Need to Survive the Apocalypse - Lucas Klauss. 2012. Why I read it: I was searching the library shelves for a good contemporary YA novel with a male protagonist. This featured a guy feeling lost after his mother's death, and falling for a nice girl.

The Way Back From Broken - Amber J. Keyser. 2015. Why I read it: Part of my "looking for a good male teenage protagonist" quest. Grief recovery is usually a good element for that.

This Raging Light - Estelle Laure. 2015. Why I read it: Seriously, I love when teens' parents abandon them or quit working so they have to find a way to keep their households afloat, especially if they have a little sibling.

Zac and Mia - A.J. Betts. 2013. Why I read it: I was in the mood for a teen love story, and if it’s also a cancer novel, then jackpot.

The Indigo Notebook - Laura Resau. 2009. Why I read it: Though I'm a homebody, once in a while I will feel the urge to read a travelogue-type of novel set in a foreign country I would never actually want to personally visit, such as "anywhere south of Texas." Armchair vacations are magical, retaining the beauty of the locale while eliminating the humidity, bugs and poor internet connectivity that would drive me mad.

The Ruby Notebook & The Jade Notebook - Laura Resau. 2010/2011. Why I read it: Well, I definitely wanted to follow the continuing story of her relationship and quest for her father, plus the writing style is beautiful.

Take Me There - Carolee Dean. 2010. Why I read it: I have been looking for a long time for something in which I could imagine Miles & Rachel of Revolution, even if I had to teenage-AU it. The trope was bad boy with a heart of gold + good girl, and I wanted to find one that didn't involve racial tension or an active gang member. This fit the bill.

Some Boys - Patty Blount. 2014. Why I read it: It was set up with hurt/comfort elements (rape victim being labeled a slut and shunned by all except This One Boy), so I was hoping for a White Knight love story.

Girl on a Plane - Miriam Moss. 2016. Why I read it: I was intrigued by both the hostage aspect and rarely-featured setting of the 1970s Iranian conflicts.

The Islands at the End of the World - Austin Aslan. 2014. Why I read it: Post-apocalyptic-event survivalist story + Hawaii!

The Girl At the Center of the World - Austin Aslan. 2015.

Why I read it: The above was amazing, so I needed the sequel!

Someone I Wanted to Be - Aurelia Wills. 2016. Why I read it: Good question. It seemed like a stock quality YA novel about a girl whose focus was not on dating dilemmas? I had rejected so many YA novels at the library by that point that I was willing to take a chance on anything featuring a girl that didn't hit a rage trigger.

Emmy & Oliver - Robin Benway. 2015. Why I read it: Basically, I wanted to cast Deeks & Kensi in a YA novel, so I had that in the back of my mind while browsing at the library. After extensive scrutiny, I deemed this one a good contender. Because what's better than best friends who (hopefully) fall in love?

Welcome to the Ark - Stephanie S. Tolan. 1996. Why I read it: I bought it to read, but I don't really remember why! Maybe the idea of a post-apocalyptic setting? I finally read it specifically to see if I could get rid of it, and I can.

Every Last Word - Tamara Ireland Stone. 2015. Why I read it: I loved the author's earlier books, and this seemed like a generally solid high school story. With a poetry club.

Openly Straight - Bill Konigsberg. 2013. Why I read it:Wanted a book with a gay character that featured either a good romance or a close friendship with another guy.

Tumbling - Caela Carter. 2016. Why I read it: I loved watching the women's gymnastics team at the Olympics this year, not only during the routines but also during the interviews or even just when the camera would linger on them during downtime. This seemed like a fictional version of that.

MIDDLE GRADE / CHILDREN’S

The Secret Ingredient - Laura Schaefer. 2011. Why I read it: The sequel to the book that made determined enough to fall in love with tea that I finally did it. I couldn't wait to savor the experience of drinking tea while reading a new story -- I stocked up on special flavors and everything.

Dreamsleeves - Coleen Murtagh Paratore. 2012. Why I read it: Pretty cover/title, and it looked like a cute middle grade novel about a plucky child succeeding in spite of having to take on too much responsibility for her age.

Abandoned - Angela Dorsey. 2004. Why I read it: I will never outgrow pony books, and this featured a girl who finds an abandoned farm with animal skeletons in the barn while exploring the countryside on horseback. What a great trope.

Jenny, Sam and the Invisible Hildegarde - Mary Kennedy. 1954. Why I read it: Picked up cheap at a garage sale. Cute vintage Scholastic children's book: a world of simpler times. Plus, dog on cover.

Whinny of the Wild Horses - Amy C. Laundrie. 1990. Why I read it: One of my favorite books in elementary school that I haven't seen since, I finally decided to request it from Interlibrary Loan to relive the magic and so I could write a proper Goodreads review for it.

Maybe a Fox - Kathi Appelt. 2016. Why I read it: Pretty cover, intriguing title, tingled my brain with the possibility of a magic fox.

NONFICTION

Kym - Joyce Stranger. 1976. Why I read it: Cat memoirs lag behind their canine and equine counterparts, so I was happy to find one among the vast sea of Joyce Stranger books I wanted to read ASAP.

How Do You Spank a Porcupine? - Ronald Rood. 1969. Why I read it: Found it an estate sale. I adore memoirs about rescuing and raising baby wild animals, especially if they are old books.

A Skunk in the House - Constance Taber Colby. 1973. Why I read it: Bought with the above, read for identical reasons -- plus she's the daughter of one of my favorite memoirists, Gladys Taber.

Scoop: Notes from a Small Ice Cream Shop  - Jeff Miller. 2014. Why I read it: This is from a local-ish author and published by a local small press. It's been heavily promoted in independent bookstores, and the allure of a memoir about taking ownership of a small, awesome business in a small Midwestern town was high.

A Snowflake In My Hand - Samantha Mooney. 1983. Why I read it: I bought it for next to nothing at a book sale because it was a memoir about pet cats. Figured I should finally read it so I could decide if it was okay to get rid of it (it was).

The Body Book - Cameron Diaz. 2013. Why I read it: It looked really fancy and intriguing at Target, and I was hoping for interesting diet / exercise ideas like Lea Michele's book.

Liquidating an Estate - Martin Codina. 2013. Why I read it: I LOVE estate sales, but there are hardly any books about them. This one had stories about amazing treasures the author found while prepping them.

Dogtripping - David Rosenfelt. 2013. Why I read it: I don't know what part of "the author had to move his 25 personally-owned large rescue dogs cross-country" WOULDN'T appeal to you.

What Do You Do With a Kinkajou? - Alice Gilborn. 1976. Why I read it: Nothing gets me to open a book faster than telling me it's a memoir about the huge menagerie of random animals your parent kept on their hobby farm, especially if it was back in the day.

A Gift From Bob: How A Street Cat Helped One Man Learn the Meaning of Christmas - James Bowen. 2014. Why I read it: I read and enjoyed both of the previous Bob books last year, because cat memoirs. (Plus the author seems very likeable and still humbled by his success.)

Chosen Forever - Susan Richards. 2008. Why I read it: The long-sought sequel to the previous book of hers I really liked, Chosen By a Horse, which I wanted to read in order before getting to Saddled.

The Dog Who Rescues Cats - Philip Gonzalez. 1995. Why I read it: Goodreads reminded me it existed one night, so I reread for funsies. It's one of the greatest modern true legends and I'm surprised Tumblr hasn't hyped it more.

Fifty Acres and a Poodle - Jeanne Marie Laskas. 2000. Why I read it: I saw the sequel (The Exact Same Moon) at an estate sale, loved the dog on the cover and the idea of a memoir about living on a hobby farm, and took myself to the library ASAP to make sure I read the books in order.

Never Turn Your Back on an Angus Cow - Dr. Jan Pol. 2014. Why I read it: It's been a while since the library had any new veterinarian memoirs; I always enjoy them.

An Affair With a House - Bunny Williams. 2005. Why I read it: This book is porn to a person like me, who loves both huge/historic mansions and the details of interior decorating, especially with antiques.

The Big Tiny: A Built It Myself Memoir - Dee Williams. 2014. Why I read it: Even though I love big houses, I'm equally fascinated by the idea of super-organized living in a tiny space. Because I am thrifty.

Dreaming in the Dust: Restoring an Old House - Katherine Chrisman. 1986. Why I read it: A journal covering a family's restoration of a historic mansion, in my local-ish backyard of Minneapolis a.k.a. a house I could actually go look at? Sign me UP.