#i dunno sorry for rambling in tags about this
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Thinking about how in that one stick of truth trailer we could've gotten Giant Clyde in the game...not that I'm disappointed at all with what we got because Clyde leading a dark army with the stick was fucking awesome but sometimes I like to think about what that would've been like
#i guess technically both could still happen just what interests me is how it could've worked or effected the story or something#idk Giant Clydes a cool idea I'm kinda sad not many people talk about it#how tf would it have happened? government tech? taco bell sauce? the reverse of whatever the gnomes gave the new kid to shrink?#a boss fight with giant Clyde would've been cool too#halfway through he starts crying or something and it almost creates a flood#i dunno sorry for rambling in tags about this#the stick of truth#tsot#stick of truth#Clyde Donovan#dark lord clyde#sp clyde#south park#giant Clyde#does that tag even exist?#south park g/t#i guess I should tag that too
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So basically ATLA brain rot has hit me like a truck
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#toph beifong#what happened was I was forced to watch the live action#which is actually pretty good if you get past the first few episodes#and if you don’t have someone in your ear telling you it’s awful the whole time#first episode is definitely the weakest and that’s 50% gran gran’s fault#aang and katara are also pretty flat but whatever#sokka’s good and zuko’s fantastic actually#they did goof on a few things but overall I think it’s a fun time#just don’t expect it to be as good as the cartoon and you’ll be okay#ANYWAY it got me missing toph#so i rewatched the blind bandit episode#and then wound up watching the entirety of books 2 & 3 in a few days#and now I’m brain rotted#which is especially weird considering when I first watched it I was like#yeah that was good! and then never thought about it again#i dunno what changed but i need help it’s taking over my life#wanted to draw Sokka too but he looks hard to draw#and i had enough trouble with these two#maybe someday#sorry for rambling in the tags goodbye
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Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.
My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper
#lee rambles#I gotta fix the metal bits on the front#they keep coming out of place and drooping down. maybe some hot glue'll work since i don't want to melt the styrofoam under the paper#I went as Chell that year#with a shitty handmade Aperature Science shirt lol#Also as a sidenote since i'm already talking a bunch in the tags#I have no idea if we're actually going to be able to afford to move or not#so we're kinda thinking about staying where we are and seeing how things go over the next few years#i know it's in my dad's will to sell but with how expensive rentals are i doubt we'd be able to afford 2k+ a month on top of our other bills#I just hope my Uncle doesn't give us too much shit about it. We didn't get much from the life insurances he had#definitely not enough to live on for long on its own#but 800 a month for the house is a lot more doable than 2000#we don't want to end up having to kill ourselves working just to make ends meet. That's probably what would happen if we moved#i dunno#just... thinking a lot about the future. I honestly hope we stay#It'd get rid of a lot of stress if we stayed. We'd still get rid of a bunch of things but... it'd be easier.#We weren't even really allowed to grieve. once the funeral was over we just had to start packing our lives away.#i'm a little bitter about it really. They've gotten to grieve and be away from the situation. We've had to be there the whole time.#We might've all been there the day he passed but they weren't there for his bad days. They weren't there helplessly watching as he slowly#got more and more tired. and sick. and depressed.#I don't know what we're going to do.#I didn't mean for this to turn all venty. sorry about that if you've read this far
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So it’s PuzzleJune, and 2023??? Time sure does fly! I don’t write for puzzleship anymore, but I did for FIVE YEARS, and altho I can’t offer new content, I can bring back my huuuuges fic recs of both my own writing, and all the fics I read over those years (warning for a LOT to sort thru!). Maybe it’ll help some ppl find some old fics to read they havent before! Keep making that beautiful puzzle content everyone ^w^
Ashe’s Puzzlefics Masterlist
Ashe’s Puzzleshipping Fic Rec List
#puzzleshipping#also i dunno if ppl are still holding the top yugi torch but god speed u beautiful bastards if u are#wont use the event tag since its not new content#but still wanna share since i think theres a lot of young and new ppl in the fandom from what ive seen poking my head around#im like the fandom grandma popping up with hard lollies like 'okay kids heres some oldies' lmao#these lists stopped in 2017 so anything posted after that I wouldn’t know about sorry!#and now i fade back into the distance#have fun kids#sometimes i think about the completed multichapter fics i never posted for puzzle cause they had top yugi smut and the fandom wasnt as kind#to that as it probably is now kdfjbvkdb#naga yugi au u live forever free on ur secret tumblr acc lmao#ashes ramblings
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Whats everyone’s fav friendships within WoF? Theres not alotta conversation around specifically friendships in the series and I’m Curious!! My personal fav is Pike & Tamarin <3 ! They are ! Buddies !!
#sorry if this post is worded strangely I dunno how to word it but im super curious PFBH#another one is Lynx & Snowfall I think they’re such good friends (Lynx is Aro To Me) but alotta folks ship em#also I think Kinkajou & Anemone have a very very interesting dynamic I think about it so much#genuinely they are so so facinting . .I shant get into it here but one day Ill make a post about them and it’ll all be over#ALSO Winter & Kinkajou friendship is so sillay to me !!!#rambling#?? yeah I’ll tag it like that#OH MINDREADER AND STARFLIGHT TOO :)!!!
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Hey Valentine!! Been thinking about DMC lately and was wondering if you could tell me some stuff about your DMC s/i? :0 perhaps what their relationship with Vergil is like? -[Wayfinderships]
@wayfinderships OH BOY OH BOY IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT DMC RECENTLY TOO !!!! i miss my half demon husband. it sure has been a whole hot minute since I talked about gabriel in general, and it sure has just hit me that you and most of my current mutuals completely missed my dmc era, so!!
gabriel is my self insert, and they are a collector of demonic goods, a purveyor of powerful artefacts, and they meet vergil shortly before dmc3 is taking place, mostly because their paths cross through happenstance and they offer up information for him. they're around the same age as the twins at this point during the timeline, the two of them are kind of friends and kind of bickering back and forth, and eventually when Vergil Goes To Hell, they kind of dig themself into a hole of work since they're the apprentice to the actual collector they have been working for
um to make a long story short these are bullet points:
find a particular artefact associated to a general of hell named haures, who has his own little plans and manages to take possession of gabriel gradually over time, for the most part they function like they green goblin talking to his own mask
haures corrupts them and essentially demonizes them so they functionally stop aging / age so slowly that it isn't really noticeable
they are also hearing from haures about mundus and sparda and are doing their own little research, maybe in hopes of coming across that one weird white haired dude they met before
their research brings them to fortuna when nero is a little kid !! will expand upon that when i get back around to dmc4
they cross paths with dante a lot!! and he is their friend somewhat
the whole time they're doing all of this they are like actively dying from haures and have to stay in tip-top shape otherwise he will actually kill them!! but no one else can communicate with haures so he's just kind of their intrusive thoughts
badabadaba dmc5 rolls around and v shows up and suddenly it's like they're 20 again and experiencing feelings
anyways gabriel's relationship with vergil was initially a little fling for the short time that they knew each other when they were younger, and tidbits of that are echoed in meeting v. like gabriel wouldn't admit to it and they think they're doing such a good job of hiding it but everyone they know can SEE how they act
and then suddenly vergil is back!! and they are a dam in the process of breaking!! the two of them proceed to bicker like an old married couple and most of vergil's time spent as v winds up being mental anguish and maturity and confronting his own human emotions, so even though they are continuing on that leftover thread from when they were younger and they didn't spend very much time together, it's like they've known eachother forever. like they do care about eachother, clearly, but they're overall very sweet in their own ways and completely awkward in navigating their relationship and feelings. because they are eachothers first love or something. yucky. I'm not approaching the lady in red topic right now because if I do then I have to do mental gymnastics but it's fine, we'll just loophole it
anyways blah blah gabriel and vergil are like. aggressively embarrassed in how they interact with each other, because they're kind of too similar that it's funny, but they do genuinely like eachother. maybe it's just because they were each other's only friend when they were in their teens and were both being manipulated for someone else's gain lol. and after vergil's stay in hell and subsequent Speedrun of the human existence he calms down a little and lets himself learn to love, not just romantically but like, familially. he gets to learn about the people that he left behind again and the one he's never met before (his son), and that is just. so important to me
so gabriel is kind of the only person initially rooting for him, even if they would rather swallow glass than be vulnerable, but they can also have vergil help them control their corruption and possibly use haures to their advantage because i had it set up where he was yeah, a dumbass trying to usurp the throne, but I wanted to plan a whole plot surrounding him and maybe lore connecting him to sparda, specifically
I know i joke about them bickering and being unable to function as real people but i have a very special place in my heart for vergil, not just favourite character wise but also self ship wise. im personally very hardheaded and dragging my real feelings out of me is like literally pulling teeth, so I've hidden a lot of my affections behind jokes and that kind of is also reflected in how I talk about vergil. but i did eventually open up about it and that's where the handfasting ceremony came from. i finally just accepted that i loved him as a character and ive been trying to unlearn my bad behaviors and learn that it's okay to be vulnerable, and not to hold everything in all the time
i like. rambled but its to avoid having to voice how their relationship is in full detail, so all i really have to say is that it's complicated but also plainly simple how they work together, how they love. they do deeply care about the other, and while it takes some time to let the initial feelings go unsaid, they are at their center both very lonely people who have put their trust into someone that they can see themselves in, who know how the other one feels and expresses feelings, with the addition of v functioning as an a-ha moment for vergil while gabriel has had 30 years to think on the guy they first loved - and proceeded to immediately fall back in love with upon seeing again
#asks#panchi tag#UMMMM. sorry i rambled. i got embarrassed and ended up repeating myself a alot#i know what i want to say but there is a lot of feelings that also have to be parsed through and im like. snervous about it#there is actually a lot that has gone into their relationship but i'd rather die than elaborate on the true sweetness#like gabe memorizing poems from vergil's book knowing that their memory is bad & v using blake as a calling card for his bare flirtations#him calling them little vagabond and a sick rose and them having a split second of familiarity ring in their head but choosing to ignore it#and shadow being used as not only a coping mechanism and a method of self protection but also a subconscious extension of his own emotions#and haures being a symbol of gabriel's own sins and his corruption being representative of their trauma and how it sits in them#and haures being an extension of my own chronic illness and pain and my own intrusive thoughts manifested#i dunno am i a little insane?? maybe.#si: gabriel#otp: my morning star#long post
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pls be careful with the hooked nose and blue skin, it could easily lead into antisemitism with the addition of pointed ears, sharp teeth and claws. ik these are also traits people give to their vex designs but as a jewish person it's pretty uncomfortable to see ^^;
So basically when drawing vex scar try to avoid hooked noses and claws and sharp teeth?
This is a genuine question, because I'm really not sure if I understand the wording correctly.
Also, I don't usually draw scar with blue skin, so is the normal design I have alright or should I change something??
Like say, is this design fine? (It's not colored but he has a normal skin tone)
#with the addition of-#im kinda confused on the wording with the ?#im a but out of it bcs of the fever but i genuinely dont know how to take that dhdjdjsksk#feel free to send an ask like. what to change? i guess#idk sorry if im coming off as rude or smt thats not what im going for#stiff talk#asks#i bet theres a really obvious answer here and im just embarrassing myself#also my design only has that one sharp tooth the rest are normal teeth#im rambling here sorry#the tags are messed up#the first line was supposed to say im confused about the wording with -with the addition of-#dunno why it got separated like thay
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hmm how would we feel if i remade
#i am so horrible about feeling okay with deleting drafts or asks and tbh i think i've overwhelmed myself with options#i'm hanging onto everything i've ever been sent and everything i've written and it gives me decision paralysis#like i wanna write and the muse is booming but i can't decide on one thing#and tbh!! this blog won't save new tags which is a minor inconvenience but still#there's that and the fact that there's so much extra stuff from muses i've gotten rid of#hmm i dunno i'm just thinking once again i just need a clean slate and to hopefully manage my inbox and drafts more responsibly#like i write as much as i can for certain prompts and then delete everything i don't have muse for#so i don't open my blog one day to 200+ asks that are unanswered#me @ me every day: pls get some help oh my gosh#i will say i hate the thought of moving bio's and headcanons but! we do it in chunks and then it's not so bad :' )#sorry to ramble so much asdfg i'm just wondering if on top of everything that's going on rn#i'm not helping myself by holding onto so much#get ready to ramble | ooc
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#why do my mutualships always end in the weirdest ways#i always know exactly why it ended but i'm like ??? i didn't know that was a line in the sand for you???#dunno if i should feel sad or mad or both or neither#anyways as if i don't have enough that i worry about now i gotta worry about like. who tf i tag in sets all over again#ugh i think i'll just go back to never tagging anybody this is too stressful#sorry this sounds so stupid but it's literally the last thing i need rn#rambling
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actually why is the new fop cartoon animated like the ppg special from 2014
#actually i think the ppg one is animated a little more smoothly but its the same kind of. style iunno#also the new main character keeps reminding me of frisk undertale fanart from back in the day#like literally i remember a fanon design that looked EXACTLY like that#anyways. how did i get here i was going down a catman rabbit hole bc nothing is answering my questions about him#like. the public domain character.#i was mostly just thinking about kitten why doesnt anyone use her.#i never read Any of the cat-man comics fcking obviouslyyy maybe i should i dunno. for fun#if i can find them ik there was another neat super old superhero i wanted to read abt but i couldnt find any comics#i dont know if HES public domain pretty sure its been long enough and they had like. copyright issues or whatever w him#so it probably saved some trouble just moving on#. this was a fairly odd parents post im sorry i rambled in the tags about old comic book superheroes
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*kicks down your door* ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LET’S GET THIS STARTED
First off I want the basics!! Who and what is your S/I? What’s their backstory and how did they meet everyone?
Aaaaaah!! Thankyou for your interest!!!! I go back and forth between "He" and "I" when talking about my S/I so apologies if this isn't cohesive!!!
I actually have two Mario S/Is technically,,,
One really really old one baby me made in... 2011 or so that I lightly revamped a few years ago; That post can be seen Here (bowuigi and Mariocest mentioned)
And the newer one made in part thanks to the Mario Movie finally giving me confirmed extended Mario Family outside of the Super Show, my Mario Brothers Cousin S/I is the one I'll talk a bit about.
I have a few posts about him and the rest of the Mario family floating around my art tag but to give the summery:
Emilio (nicknamed Emile) is the only son of Tony Mario and his ex-girlfriend Pauline. He is 5 years younger than Mario and Luigi, and 6 years older than their younger cousin Louisa. He's currently in collage at his mother's wishes to become a politician, but has no real interest in it. He has a pet turtle named after his favorite Pokemon Turtwig.
I'm using the movie's cool isekai plot of how Mario and Luigi got to the Mushroom Kingdom as my base, because I personally like it better than Yoshi's Island/Partner's in Time's sort of They were Always there plot, and it just is the only story we have on Mario Family and I love them they are my Familia. However Partner's in Time is canon to my S/I's later plot just in more of a Cross Dimensional adventure rather than just time travel because I love that game a lot
So I'm not plot important in the movie at all, that all still happens as it does in canon, I was blissfully unaware of their adventure sitting at home in Brookyln with the rest of the family until they came home.
After that, and after Mario and Luigi fully move out and into the Mushroom Kingdom, I start visiting them and crashing at their place often.
I have a deep fascination with Mushrooms, in both real life and in this Self Insert, so of COURSE I have to come be a biology nerd all over the Mushroom Kingdom, and the bros are happy to have me around. We're all pretty close, especially sense I'm the only family member who knows the brothers are together Romantically, and am willing to cover for them.
While in the Mushroom Kingdom I start getting interested in more than just the Mushroom Forests. I start asking about the people, and the other kingdoms, and the people in those kingdoms, so on and so forth. Mario and Luigi don't really know much aside from Evil King Bowser and his kingdom of Killers which. Bros I know he tried to kill you but that's a big sweep to make of a whole country. So we go ask the Princess for more information. But she's busy doing Princess Things.
Enter Toadsworth my beloved old man who deserved to be in this movie. Toadsworth has been the royal adviser sense before Princess Peach, so of course he knows plenty on the surrounding Kingdoms and their governments and justice systems and trade rates and all that juicy world building.
So I start getting into fantasy politics.
My S/I for this one is really smart, smarter than real me by a lot, he retains information well and makes more logical conclusions and can grasp big concepts my little dropped outta highschool pea brain can't, so he soaks up every bit of information Toadsworth gives him like a sponge.
A month or two of this goes by and I start missing my real world collage classes to run off to the Mushroom Kingdom and learn Fantasy Politics. I read every book in Peach's Library, and then everything in Toadsworth's personal collection, and then everything in the Toadtown local library, all while listening to any story or extra detail Toadsworth himself knows.
Meanwhile my poor dad, Tony, has Pauline breathing down his neck about me skipping classes to run off with those Hooligan cousins of mine to some Fantasy land doing who knows what throwing my future away. This isn't super plot important just. Pauline is a Mother Knows Best kind of parent while Also being a Hands Off kind of parent. I was raised in the Mario household, she paid for my schooling, that's the dynamic.
Anyway eventually I fully commit to dropping out of Human Collage to fully study under Toadsworth to become the Mushroom Kingdom Royal Adviser under him. I'm now doing super official stuff like helping plan events like galas and the Star Festival, I'm sitting in on meetings both with the Toad Court and with other Nations, I'm meeting with Monarchs and Politicians of other Countries on the weekly. I'm rubbing Elbows with King Koopa himself! The bros are not happy about that one but they ARE supportive
I even get my own room in the castle!! Which tends to go pretty unused because at this point I'd been sleeping exclusively in the Bro's house. Occasionally if I'm really focused on a job Toadsworth gives me I'll work overnight on it in my room is the castle, but that rarely happens because Luigi always calls me when dinner's almost ready so I can get home just as it's done, and no one can resist a Luigi home cooked meal. The few times I have stayed overnight working in the Castle Mario's ended up calling me at like 3am because he can't sleep and doesn't want to wake Luigi. Another reason I end up coming home.
Ah this is getting long I'm sorry thankyou so so so much for asking I don't think I've posted all this information cohesively yet?? Is it cohesive?? I hope so!!
Uhm but I think that's all the Basic information!! To summarize:
My S/I is Mario and Luigi's cousin, Son of their Uncle Tony and his ex-girlfriend Pauline. He's about 18-19 years old at the start of the movie
His Backstory is he's a Gifted Kid raised under a Projecting Mother who has an interest in Economics and Politics, but only for the fantasy world Mario and Luigi stumbled into
He meets everyone through becoming the Royal Adviser in training under Toadsworth, leading him to attend important meeting and Galas with high ranking figures like Princess Daisy and the Koopa King Bowser
Thankyou for reading this all if you did!! I hope it was interesting!!!! Please feel free to ask more if you'd like!!
#Thankyou for asking#Shipcest#Mariocest#Only in like one brief passing mention or I would have made a warning before the Read More before it#I'm sorry if Mariocest is like!!! Uncomfortable for you or smth I dunno!!!#It's a big comfort ship of mine and also the like basis on the poly self ship into Royal Polycule thing I have so like#It's hard not to mention it I guess!!! Sorry!!!#Which is weird considering I DIDN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THE SELF SHIP PART!!!!!#JUST THE SELF INSERT!!!#KFDGJFDKJGKDFJ#I tried to keep focus on the Early about year or so after the Movie parts of the Self Insert#I have a timeline for it that spans about 10 years to cover all the games I like#So it's a little complicated#but I've never made a simple Self Insert in my life so it's nothing new#Anyway I hope beyond hope this makes cognitive sense I had to delete and rewrite SOOOO much rambling#Cause I just get!!! So off point!!!!!#All these tags assuming you read the post perhaps the Mariocest tag prevented you from reading it#If so I understand#Thanks for asking anyway it was a lot of fun to get to write it all out at least#Toadsworth my beloved he deserved to be in the movie man#I know why he wasn't he would simply never allow Peach to put herself in danger like that#but also I wanted to see him face me grandpai#Anyway one more time!!! Thankyou for your interest!!!!! I love to ramble but can only do so when prompted so this is a big help to me!!!!!!
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Burning Shores spoilers //
THERE IS A MISSING THIRTEENTH ZENITH AFTER ALL?
#my knowledge of inane canon details is clearly off bc i named my fross series ''the twelfth'' zenith when it should have been thirteenth#but i guess that depends on whether you count verbena or not? bc she dies before all the others so i didn't count her#so i guess that would make him the fourteenth if you count verbena? aww i wish he were the thirteenth (unlucky number) asdfghf#anyways sorry for making it about my blorbo from my brain it'll happen again#burning shores#bs#bs spoilers#hfwbs spoilers#hfw spoilers#burning shores spoilers#listen i dunno what tags y'all use so covering all my bases rn#ramble
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...
#on clau's rant about twt fandom today we have:#i'm so sorry (no) and i get the frustration but like#seeing ppl screaming for 1) feedback they don't reciprocate 2) “why is this tag so dead” while ignoring a decent amount of fic or 3) both#when they do nothing#well one can only take it so much#like ofc you don't have to engage with fics that don't interest you but complaining about lackings in that context is A Choice#and same with wanting engagement and feedback in your fic#it's frustrating i get it who hasn't been there#but also there's usually not a tryout of starting to be the change you wanna see and i dunno#call me petty and jealous but it's so disheartening#anyway enough rambling for today
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So this is my thing now, I’m afraid to go to sleep. This is kinda bullshit, brain.
#I feel like I’m going to die when I fall asleep#see… I’m afraid you think I just mean I’m scared of death#no no no. no. I feel like I’m suffocating. I have to force myself to breathe. my body tingles (in a bad way). I get really overheated.#I get dizzy and feel like I’m going to pass out from lack of air. I feel sick.#I haven’t slept much lately.#I’m miserable alllll the time. I can maybe force sleep with super exhaustion but I’m drained no matter what#this isn’t the first time it’s happened but this is the longest it’s gone on#from that my anxiety is now blanketing everything bc I’m so tired and scared about not getting to sleep#sickening anxiety. I feel like puking or passing out. and I got hit with some heavy (but thankfully short) virtigo yesterday#terrible terrible terrible#and seriously. anxiety. so bad. I’m constantly trying to get high right now to fight it but it’s rough#getting high is starting to make me feel sick too. and my tolerance is building. it’s like… it’s all bad. all options.#I hate this.#AND it’s the weekend and my new primary can’t see me until Wednesday and then I’ve got to beg for… I dunno… the good stuff#god. I told myself I’d go see my doctor about this a couple of weeks ago when this last hit and I didn’t 😓#ideal scenario: all doctors fall in love with me and medically induce a short coma for me to catch up on sleep and then they give me drugs#this new doctor doesn’t know me! I haven’t laid enough groundwork! how am I supposed to beg for klonopin if we have no banter!?#that wasn’t a joke. I mean it was but it’s also serious. I need some GOOD anti-anxieties and he doesn’t know me enough to know I NEEDS IT😬#also my tinnitus is just… no sleep + stress means it gets stronger and it’s… a fucking wet willy shoved through my ear into my skull#and if I hit a bad patch of virtigo… I will… redacted.#I won’t! I will go running crying and screaming in the street before I off myself.#HEY! my insurance says I can get 30 days in-patient and I always keep that thought in my bad pocket.#*back pocket. I’m not about to go back and start redoing tags because of a few misspellings#this is so rambly#my brain is fried! I’m tired! my appetite is fucked! I don’t want to do ANYTHING!#I mean… I never want to do anything. I love being lazy. I should say that right now I CAN’T do anything. but I can. but it’s… a lot. fuck 😔#this must sound so whiny. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll be making more posts like this until this goes away#you can ignore this#text
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so a lil heads up!! that i will probably be very scarce/quiet until monday! despite my efforts to juggle everything, this weekend is just busy and it's got me pretty tired. thank you for being patient with me and pls have a very lovely pre-halloween weekend!!
#on a side note i devoured the second book in the shadow and bone trilogy and it's got me YELLING!!!!#kinda sorta wanna add nikolai but in classic bel fashion i feel the need to read everything involving him before i ever do that#and i found out this guy's got a duology?? haha : ) i'm about to run through ruin and rising so quickly#the guy is just my kinda character -- someone who changes their personality for each situation and hides their true thoughts??#sounds familiar :' ))#i also wanna make an oc but i dunno!! tbh as much as i love the series i wouldn't know how to even enter that fandom#bc no way am i making a whole other blog when i know i can barely manage one asdfg#and my attempts to enter a non anime/manga fandom didn't go very well this last time with my multi#don't really wanna repeat the experience tbh uvu#ANYWAY sorry for rambling in the tags so much asdfg i'm just maybe a little or a lot hyperfixated on the grishaverse rn :' )#definitely a comfort when i've been so tired lately#get ready to ramble | ooc
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so glad i found you
for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is coparenting'
rated t | 1,428 words | cw: mention of previous marriage (steve's) | tags: established relationship, single dad steve (except he isn't anymore *wink wink*), steddie dads, modern au, marriage proposal
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
"Sarah, come on!" Steve yelled from the kitchen, his eyes drifting to the clock that he hoped was lying. They were gonna be late for school. Again.
"Daddy, I can't find my jacket!" Sarah came running through the kitchen, only half-dressed, no backpack in sight.
"What do you mean? It was on the hook last night."
"It's not now."
Steve groaned.
And then a jacket was thrust into his hands and a sleep-rough voice was in his ear. "Found it on the floor in the bathroom."
Steve grabbed the jacket from Eddie, kissing his cheek in thanks.
"Eddie found it, let's go!" Steve yelled before whispering to just Eddie. "Thank you, baby. Sorry for waking you up."
"Needed to get up anyway. Wanted to say bye to Sarah."
Steve watched as Eddie walked over to the cabinet that held their vitamins. He reached in and grabbed the gummies Sarah was supposed to take every day. Steve wasn't always the best about remembering them, but Eddie never forgot.
He reached in the fridge next, grabbing the smoothie Steve forgot about and handing it to him. "Since I know you didn't eat anything," Eddie kissed his cheek again and leaned against the counter holding the gummies for Sarah.
"Thanks, Eds," Steve said as Sarah came crashing back into the kitchen and reached for her jacket. "Why did you move this into the bathroom?"
"I didn't."
"Ah, I fear the ghosts are at it again, Steve," Eddie said, smirking when Sarah giggled. He handed her the gummies once she had her arms in the jacket. "Vitamins to make you big and strong, your highness."
"Thanks, Dad."
Everyone froze. The clock on the wall stopped ticking. The air was sucked out of the room.
Sarah was bright red, and because she wasn't the type to stick around an awkward situation, she turned and walked out of the room.
Eddie blinked at Steve, lips parted as he tried to remember how to breathe.
He'd been with Steve for just over a year, and while he didn't technically live with them, he spent more time at their apartment than his own. He was on Sarah's emergency pick-up list, took her with him to run errands when Steve had to work late, bought her things when the budget allowed just because he wanted to, and would read to her most nights that he stayed over. In many ways, he was her dad.
She hardly knew her mom, only spent two weeks every summer with her and was perfectly fine with that. Steve's ex-wife had admitted from the beginning of the pregnancy that she thought it was a mistake and when she filed for divorce when Sarah was six months old, Steve wasn't surprised. She had no interest in being a mom the way Steve had so desperately wanted to be a dad. But even still, Eddie never wanted them to feel like he was trying to force any type of parental power.
She'd called him Eddie until this moment, and he'd been completely fine with it. He would've been fine with it forever if it meant he got to have them both.
"I can talk to her. I don't think she meant to say it and it's okay if you don't want her to. She'll understand and-" Steve started rambling, trying to prevent Eddie from panicking.
But he wasn't. He was just doing his best not to start crying.
"But did she mean it?" He asked, voice shaking as he realized how much he did want her to call him Dad.
"I dunno, Eds. Probably. You know she never says things she doesn't mean. But we can talk to her-"
"No. I mean, yes, we should. But not because I don't want her to." Eddie took a deep breath. "I've kinda been her dad for a while now. It feels like it, at least. We've been in this together for most of the last year, ya know? I wanna be this for her and for you."
Steve was going to melt into a puddle, maybe right through the floor into the apartment below them. The nice old couple who lived there would have to mop him up.
"Daddy? Da-Eddie?" Sarah's small voice said from the doorway.
"Come here, sweet pea," Steve got down closer to her level. She was tall for her age, but even at eight years old, she was barely level with his chest. "Do you wanna call Eddie Dad? There's no wrong answer."
Eddie nodded, getting down to her level, too.
"It won't hurt my feelings if you just said it by accident, princess. I promise I love being your Eddie," he smiled at her.
He meant that, he wouldn't lie to her. But a small part of him hoped she wouldn't go back to calling him just Eddie after that. Not after he had a taste of what it could be like to be her dad.
"Well, you do dad stuff with me. Like when we built that birdhouse because I was scared the robin would have her eggs in a tree and they'd fall and crack and the babies would die. And when you took me shopping for a dress so I could go to Daddy's awards for work. And you always read to me with the voices and stuff." Sarah was playing with her hair, a nervous habit she'd somehow picked up from Eddie in such a short time. "And that's stuff that Daddy does with me all the time too, like when you're not here with us to do it. And sometimes even when you are and you both do it it feels like I have two dads. I like having two dads."
Steve and Eddie were both barely holding back tears as she spoke. She'd always been incredibly brave about her feelings.
"I like doing all that stuff with you, princess. But I would love it all no matter what you called me, okay?" Eddie said around a barely contained sob.
"But you love Daddy and me right?"
"Of course."
"And you kinda live with us."
He let out a wet laugh. "Yeah, I guess I kinda do."
"And you maybe will get married?"
Steve nearly choked on his own breath. "Sarah, honey, remember I told you that kind of decision is something that takes time and-"
"Yeah, princess. I think maybe we will. Not right now, but someday," Eddie interrupted.
Steve resisted glaring at him. He knew better than to make promises to a child, they'd already been over this before, and he could already see Sarah's wheels spinning.
"Wait-"
"So I can wear a pretty dress?" Sarah asked, as if that was the most important thing. "Can I hold both your hands?"
"If your Daddy is okay with it when it happens. But you know what has to happen first?" Eddie poked her dimple, smiling at her with teary eyes. "He has to say yes."
Sarah looked over at Steve, who was...confused.
"Daddy! Say yes!"
"He's gotta ask!" Steve exclaimed. "And he doesn't have a ring. We've only been together a year."
"Stevie."
Something in Eddie's voice made Steve pause and look at him instead of Sarah.
"I have a ring. Not with me, but. I already know you're it for me." Eddie held Sarah's hand and Steve's. "I just wanted to make sure Sarah was okay with it first. So. Sarah Harrington."
"Yes, Dad?"
Jesus, Steve was pretty sure he would die from this. In a good way, maybe the best way, but Jesus Christ.
"Would it be okay if I ask your dad to marry me? I could be your other dad and I promise I can read to you every night."
"Hm." Sarah thought for barely a second before she beamed at Steve. "Daddy, I'm saying yes. So you have to say yes. I want Eddie to live with us forever."
The most important thing to Steve was someone who Sarah loved and who loved Sarah in return, someone who was part of their family because they wanted to be, someone who felt proud to be theirs.
Eddie checked off all of that and then some.
He looked at Eddie and smiled. "Well, you heard the princess. Yes!"
Being late for school turned into being absent from school. Steve and Eddie skipped work for the day so they could all be together. Eddie went to his apartment to get the ring and Sarah made decorations for a "real" proposal.
He didn't mind that it wasn't anything extravagant. None of them did.
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