#i dunno man maybe it's because as cry i don't want to be seen as from the label au. because i wasn't like how people charactarise that-

[r0b0t-after-all]

remembered the **** **** label au existed and now i feel not great.

[cosmickid-inmotion]

Safe With Me

Eddie Brock x fem!reader (Some Venom x reader)

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Summary: You open up to Eddie about being sexually assaulted. He takes care of it.

Warnings: mentions of past sexual violence. Actually literal violence lol but its okay because he's a bad guy. talking about how hard it is to report and victim blaming.

dividers by @kodaswrld

************

Eddie held you close on the couch, letting you tell you're story the way you wanted to. You sat straddled on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder because you said this made you feel extra safe. Like he was all around you. Sometimes, if things were extra rough, venom would come out like a blanket of sorts around you, wrapping you up in his warmth. Today, you thought it might be overwhelming.

Eddie knew something had happened to you, the way you were skiddish when you first started dating. And not that he was complaining, but it was a little odd to wait 2 months to have sex. Still, that was your choice and you were worth waiting.

He wasn't an idiot, he could read the signs in your behavior, so he made sure you're first time together was filled with the most explicate consent you could dream of, and was always conscious of your non-verbal ques in bed. Eddie liked to think he was always the kind of guy to pay attention to that, but with you, he was extra certain.

As he got to know you, you made passing references of a bad past, and he let you know he was ready to listen when you were ready to talk, but you were a private person and wanted to wait. You and him talked about exes, and nothing stood out.

Finally, a few months in, you and him were having a movie night. Rewatching your favorite Disney princess movie Eddie was nice enough to indulge you in and Venom was thoroughly enjoying, when you pause it.

"Can I talk to you?"

At first Eddie thought you were about to dump him, but when you looked at him with sad eyes, he knew it was something more serious.

You sniffle against his wet sleeve. "That's it, I guess..." You said as you finish telling the story. "I know, *sniff* i should've reported it but... I dunno this was when 50 Shades was coming out and I was afraid he'd say I just liked it r-rough..." A fresh little bought of tears come, and Eddie is quick to rub your back in comfort.

"Ah, shit, hey now... I know it ain't like that..." He presses a gentle kiss to your hair. "We believe you, baby. Trust me, I'm not tryna scare no one away from reporting, but man... it can be fucking brutal."

You nod against him. "And, and I was just barely having sex, you know? The idea of a stranger doing the rape kit, having to tell a hundred different people what happened knowing they don't believe me... and I couldn't really prove I'd said no... and god, having to tell my parents?!?! I couldn't do it Eddie! i just couldn't do it!"

"Shhhh, shhhh... it's okay, I know, I know... you made the best choice for yourself."

You sit up, rubbing your red and puffy eyes. "Now I see colleges have this thing, well, some of them, the You Have Options Program where you can report and choose the level. Like if you want to report but not press charges, or you aren't sure if you want to press charges but they can gather evidence... or maybe you just want something on record incase they offend again, you know?"

"That's good, that's real good baby. i think they'll help a lot of people." As a journalist, Eddie had reported on many rape cases, or times people had tried to cover up sexual abuse of different kinds. he'd seen many young girls crying, expressing the same feelings you had. He knew better than to say 'it's not your fault' even if he still had the urge. Instead, he thumbed away a tear as you looked down at him. "We believe you, we don't think any differently of you, okay? We're here to help you."

You smile at him, fondness in your eyes. "Thanks for listening, Edide. And Venom." You lean down and give him a chaste kiss on his plush lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The next day...

Eddie is furiously typing on his laptop while you're at work.

"Okay, so she said college, he went to college with her."

Venom excitedly shouts out the name of your old school, happy he remembered, but Eddie shook his head, frustrated. "That's a big fucking school buddy, we need to narrow this down." he pulled up school records. "She said they were in theater, right?"

"YES! AND HE WAS IN HER SPANSIH CLASS!"

"Right! Fuck yeah! and she took Spanish her freshman year because she wanted to 'get it out of the way'. Okay I can narrow down the year, look up students who took Spanish that semester... then i just gott pull up the theater pamphlet... she said he was an actor... alright, now we just gotta cross reference the names of people who acted in that production with spanish class students..."

10 minutes later they had a match.

Pulling him up, he matched the description of the student to a T. He would have a senior at the time, same hair, skin tone, facial features...

"Now, we just gotta find him."

That didn't take long either. Eddie was able to find everything he needed. His job, his home address, everything was right there.

That night, he gave you a little kiss on the forehead as he left for the night. He told you he had something to investigate for work, and you didn't ask any questions.

"And you're sure you don't wanna come over after you're done?" You give him a pout. He hated to leave you alone, everything you'd trusted him with made him just want to watch over you all the time... but who knew how messy this would get?

"I might be out late baby, i don't wanna wake yuh at 4 am. I'll bring you lunch tomorrow, how 'bout that?"

that makes you smile. Food usually did.

"Okay. Lunch tomorrow it is."

The house was way too nice for someone like him, someone who hurt innocent younger girls. He was a corporate executive too, and Eddie was sickened to find he'd had a string of bad luck keeping assistants and interns, no doubt preying on more vulnerable young girls, using his power to keep them complacent. Men like that never changed. He wasn't gonna feel bad.

The light turned on the the living kitchen, revealing where Eddie sat drinking his expensive whiskey.

"Your security is shit, man."

He looked shocked, dropping his briefcase and freezing in fear. Eddie figured its not often he's the powerless one. He was going to let him cook in his adrenalin.

"Whatever you want, you can have it."

But Eddie just shook his head, standing up. "I don't want nothing here but you."

"i have-"

Eddie interrupted him with your name, "Remember her? Freshman girl you raped in college? Or does that not narrow it down enough?"

He chuckled nervously, raising his hands and backing up. "Listen man, you her husband? i don't know what she told you, but i swear to god she wanted it."

"Shut the hell up."

"Begged me for it!"

"Oh yeah? That why she had a black eye and a busted lip after?"

"Hey," he shrugged, trying to play it cool like he wasn't about to dash for the door. "What can I say, she liked it rou-" His words turned into a scream as Venom took over the body, biting off his head before he could say another word about you.

Eddie's face popped from behind the goo. "Venom! i had a whole speech planned!"

"TOO LATE! I was tired of him talking!"

He rolled his eyes but hey, what could he do about it now? Nothing. At least the asshole was dead, couldn't hurt anymore women.

The next day, at lunch time...

Baby <3: Meet me at my place, I went home early.

Eddie Boo: Everything okay?

Baby <3: Just come please?

When Eddie let himself into you're apartment to find you sitting on the couch with your arms crossed, eyes wet.

"baby, are you oke-"

"Do you want to explain to me why, a few days after I tell you I was raped, he ends up dead with his head ripped off?"

Eddie blinked. "Uhhhh.... coincidence?"

You stand, walking over to him. "Venom, got anything to say to me?"

Venoms head popped out behind Eddie. "WE ARE NOT SORRY AND HE TASTED DELICIOUS!"

"Venom!" You gently flick him. "Eddie, why would you do that?"

"Ahhh, come on baby, you know he deserved it! I'm not gonna apoligize for killing a rapist, and i don't feel bad!"

Eddie watched your face soften, lip quivering a bit. "I know. I know he deserved it I just... it's just a lot, right now..."

"Ohhh baby...." Eddie took you into his arms as you began to cry again. "Do you feel guilty? Is that it? Cause this was all me, nothing to do with you."

You sob into his strong chest. "I can't believe you love me this much."

His heart almost broke at that. "Of course I do! baby, don't you know we'd do anything for you? We'd break a guys finger off for look'n at yuh wrong, of course we'd kill for you."

Eddie scooped you up, carrying you over to the couch where he sat you down on his lap. "You're gonna be safe with us, always. You know that don't you? We're always gonna protect you. never gonna have to worry about anything again."

"LETHAL PROTECTOR!"

You chuckle in his arms, and Eddie holds you close. "Yeah, the lethal protector. No ones ever gonna hurt you like that again."

OKAY THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING EDDIE/VENOM

Anyway!!!! thanks for reading!!!! i love fics were rapists die so I thought eddie was appropriate! I saw venom for the first time at the start of the month, literally watched one and two the day before i went to see three in theaters. CRIED

if anyone has any good eddie series, something quality im looking for a masterpiece here! eddie/venom is 100% welcome! so is gay shit.

If you are new to my blog just coming in from this fic, I mostly write Logan Howlett, and oscar isaac/pedro pascal characters. Mostly fem! reader but i like to dabble in other stuff, like trans readers or trans characters, lots of gay shit.

Anyway, hi if you're new!

Have a great day!

I wrote this after already writing a chapter of rooms on fire, and after doing a bunch of homework AND battling bronchitis soooooo plz be patient my writing isnt the best in the first place, i type and spell very badly.

[mattslolita]

bambis friends finally letting Chris see Bambi but there watching u 2 like a hawk and say “u got five minutes” 😭😭

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

chris was unavoidable — he called and texted you every day, almost filling up your voicemail box. you couldn't go to certain places without knowing for sure that he'd be there, and you weren't ready to see him. he hurt you really bad, and he needed to realize it. you'd always spoken so highly about the way he treated you, but you should've known you would never be anything more with him.

it's been two weeks — you would be lying if you said you weren't completely losing your mind having not seen chris. you were a wreck, not your usual bubbly, emotional self. of course, the crying had doubled and stayed consistent — you felt bad for your friends taking care of you in this time, but they didn't mind and insisted on helping you out.

"you won't believe who the fuck just asked to see y/n," niyah fumes, walking into your bedroom as she shook her head whilst staring down at her phone, "chris gon text me and ask to see you!"

you sniffled as you were cuddled into riri's side, scream playing on the laptop in front of you. if chris were here, he would've looked at you crazy since he knew that horror movies were your way of trying to cheer yourself up. the thought of chris made your chest tighten, as you realized — you really missed him.

"let him," you say in between sniffles, causing everyone's eyes to widen as they stare down at you.

"y/n, are you serious?" zay asks you seriously, her eyebrows knitted together, "are you sure it's a good idea?"

"maybe he has an explanation," you said, wiping at your eyes as you hiccup, "i deserve to hear it. it's not fair."

your friends all share a knowing look with each other, before niyah sighs and types away on her phone. "here's some tissues pookie, he's coming in six minutes."

—

the familiarity of your house brings chris a desperate comfort he'd been missing for the past two weeks — his hair was tousled messily, eye bags prominent under his eyes from lack of sleep. he'd been in a terrible state without you, and it was definitely showing. when he walks inside of your home, your friends are quick to stare the man down. his cheeks heat up with shame, fully expecting one of the girls to lunge at him.

"five fucking minutes," niyah hisses, her eyes boring into chris's with anger, nodding towards your room.

he gulps before walking past the group of girls who stare at him as he makes his way into your room. the door creaks open, and your head pops up from your bed quickly as your eyes land on chris — he looks tired and numb, and something inside of you breaks as you sniffle and sit up.

"hey, bambi," chris says hoarsely, voice barely above a whisper as he closes the door behind him.

"hi, chris," you say quietly, playing with the hem of your shorts as you stare up at him curiously.

he motions towards the end of your bed, and you nod as he sits down and lets a sigh escape his lips — you watch him fold his hands in lap, struggling to maintain the eye contact you insist on trying to keep with him. "dunno if you're gonna forgive me, but i jus' wan' tell you what happened."

you're silent, still eyeing him curiously — he takes this as an initiative to continue. "for some time now, you an' me have been together, but not together, if that makes sense. i will admit i was scared that i would fuck shit up, thas' why i haven't made any moves to make shit official with you. but i was finally ready to do things the right way."

you could feel your heart skip a beat at his words — chris wanted to make things official with you. it was all you'd ever wanted, but now you're conflicted, because you don't know if you could trust him. "that doesn't explain madilyn...why were you with her?"

the crack in your voice causes chris to run a hand along his jaw as he shakes his head. "i went to her for advice on how to ask you. i didn't realize she had a different motive, i swear."

suddenly anger beings to course through your veins upon the realization that madilyn had been after chris just to spite you — for whatever stupid reason, she had always been jealous of you, and you didn't know why. you should've known better that chris would go for someone else — still, you weary on anything to go further for you guys.

you slowly crawled over to chris, running your hands along his shoulders to his chest, as your lips hovered over his neck. you pressed a soft kiss there, inhaling his familiar cologne, "i really missed you, baby."

"i missed you too, ma," chris mumbles, his strong hands moving to place on you on his lap, causing a small giggle to escape your lips. he wipes away at a stray tear that leaves your eye, "can i make it up to you?"

[staybabblingbaby]

Best Friend Protocol #14 (Team Meeting part)

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: You're Felix's childhood friend, and you and he have been planning a visit to see him for his birthday for what feels like years now. Unfortunately, SKZ is a very busy group, and the week-long vacation you'd planned for doesn't seem possible.Until Felix decides to ask his bandmates a favor...

Word Count: 2672

Notes: IT'S FINALLY HERE! ALL HAIL THE LEGENDARY FIRST WRITTEN PART OF BFP! I meant to have this out over a week ago, but it's here now! I will be attempting to get a regular chapter out here shortly to fulfil my promised 4 november chapters. Wish me luck! Huge shout out to one of my beautiful beloved betas, @brbwritingfanfic for taking the time to make sense of this damn thing lmao. I appreciate you spotting all my errors, you a real one <3 For those familiar with my archive style and curious, this is A3D2 for this chapter. It was kicking my ASS. If enough folks are interested I don't mind releasing the other attempts, but BFP is a bit divorced from the usual archive proceedings, so I'll leave that up to y'all. I actually really loved how Felix's character came through here, and i'm pretty pleased with how the dialogue turned out. My poor fiance had to sit through like 5 separate rants about how i could not roll back the details enough and kept having to scrap dialogue so it sounded less like AI attempting classical literature.

Warnings: She/Her Reader. Sort of? Polyamory negotiations. More like, the possibility is tossed out there.

Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks

Additional Note: I'm always taking interaction requests. Just fyi

Masterlist | Prev Part | Next Part

The meeting goes something like this;

They pile into the living room of his and Seungmin’s shiny new dorm without discussion. It makes Felix both nervous and grateful. They’ve always had these meetings wherever Chris happened to be, before. It feels like an unspoken declaration of allegiance. Like they’re letting Felix take the lead, here.

The pressure is kind of getting to him already, as they all settle in. He doesn’t even know how he feels about it all himself, making a decision doesn’t seem like something he should be in charge of right now.

Still, he’s grateful. They’re being so mindful of him in this, and he kind of wants to cry about it. He feels seen, and loved. A bit too seen, maybe, but as embarrassing as it is he’s still a bit gooey inside about it.

Felix drags a beanbag over to where Hyunjin has settled on the couch, plopping down to lean against the other man’s legs. A hand automatically goes to bury itself in his hair, like an anchor against Felix’s stormy thoughts.

The grounding warmth of one of his best friends soothes Felix as Chris calls the meeting to order.  

“So!” Their leader casts an inquiring gaze around the room, “Who wants to start? Where are we at right now?”

A few glances are cast Felix’s way, but he tips his head back against Hyunjin’s knees to avoid their eyes. Everyone must get the message, because no one prompts him.

Jisung is the one who eventually bites the bullet, and Felix sends a silent ‘thank you’ to his birthday buddy.

“Well, I’d like to clarify everyone’s, like, goal in this?” Jisung puts forward tentatively, “Because I’m at the point where it’s more of a ‘I’d like to get to know her’ thing than a ‘I want to date her’ thing.” he shrugs to himself, “I haven’t talked to her much yet, I just think she’s cool.”

“I’m a little bit smitten,” Changbin admits from across the room. He gives Felix an apologetic grimace, but all Felix can do is wave him off with a worried smile. 

“We talked for quite a while the other day and, I dunno... We clicked? I guess? I feel like we did, anyway. I kind of want to see where that could go if we let it.” 

Changbin sends an almost appealing look to Felix as he speaks, and honestly? Super awkward for Felix right now.

Because, see, Felix’s first instinct is to get super defensive and shut everything down. He doesn’t really want to be talking about this, and it scratches at something delicate and boyish in him that they’re having this discussion at all.

It’s embarrassing to know that the feelings he’s kept so close to his chest for so many years are out in the open. It feels a bit like a betrayal that this meeting is about the fact that most of his friends have feelings for the girl he’s had a crush on basically his whole life, instead of planning how to get him to stop being stupid about said crush.

It’s just... Uncomfortable. On so many levels. An ugly monster wants to tear out of Felix’s throat as he locks eyes with Changbin, but a light scratch at his scalp from Hyunjin stalls the beast.

Right. Felix reminds himself that these aren’t any old friends. These aren’t just some acquaintances he could burn bridges with, or strange men he had to protect his angel from.

No, these were his brothers, the people he’d shed blood, sweat, and tears with. The men he’d lived with, grown with, the guys who’d seen more of him than any other person in the world.

Felix finds it in himself to spare Changbin a strained smile. He means it to be reassuring, but he’s so tangled up in his thoughts right now that it’s the best he can offer. The older man seems grateful for it anyway.

He turns his gaze up to Hyunjin, the catalyst of all this, and Felix’s current rock in the storm. He tries to keep in mind how much he loves these people as he moves the conversation forward.

He has to hear them out, at least.

“Thoughts, Hyun?” Felix gently inquires. 

Hyunjin briefly presses his lips together, gathering his thoughts into words. 

“I’ve been pretty open in my flirtation from the start, I think.” he finally says, “So I guess I’m more surprised that anyone else is? Surprised, I mean.”

Felix has to hand him that one. For all that his ‘no flirting’ rule had been mostly a joke, it did mean that he’d expected them to flirt with her. 

He wonders what makes things different now? He’d been okay with the flirting when he’d thought everyone was just joking around, has anything really changed now that he knows it’s real?

Felix sits with that thought while Minho throws his two cents in.

“I don’t think surprised is the right word,” their second eldest ponders aloud, “I’m personally more... worried about how this might work out.” He draws the words out slowly, like he’s tasting the flavor of them before he speaks.

It’s off-putting to hear Minho speak so cautiously- he’s usually so blunt with his words. 

“I’m more worried about how this will affect us as a group,” Minho admits, “I mean, I like her, she’s fun, but I don’t want her if it’s going to cause issues among us.”

And the older man has a point. Anything that causes discord in a group like theirs is a disaster waiting to happen. Especially something like this, where a misstep could lead to long-term resentments and jealousies.

Felix feels pressured by the group’s regard for him all over again. One word from him, and he knows it all ends. The moment he says he can’t handle this is the moment that the rest back off. The emotions won’t fade, Felix knows, but they’d do it anyways.

Because they love him.

He loves them right back.

“I really like her,” Seungmin pipes in, face blank. His eyes cast toward the floor for a moment, before rising again to meet Felix’s. “I really like her,” He repeats, “I don’t know that I would be okay with letting go without trying.”

Felix pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and nods at the younger man. His head tips toward his lap while he thinks, brow furrowing as he loses himself to his tumultuous thoughts.

It helps to hear everyone’s feelings put so bluntly, Felix thinks. Having everyone’s stances laid out clearly like a map in his mind’s eye. 

Han, who’s not invested but interested anyways.

Changbin, who’s probably in deeper than he’d really like to be.

Hyunjin, who’d been open about his intentions from the start.

Minho, who the fact that he’s even considering her means more than Felix thinks the man realizes. And yet, he’d give her up at the first seed of discord among the group.

It’s kind of heartwarming, when Felix thinks about how much love their second eldest had shown them with those words. 

Finally, there’s Seungmin. A man whose compliments are hard earned, and whose feelings are closely guarded. A man who’d just handed Felix his heart on a silver platter, trust and love etched in every word, spoken and not.

Felix’s first instinct is still to shut them down. His clouded heart tells him to scoop up his angel and hide her away like a dragon with its hoard. To claim her as his and his alone, and feel slighted if anyone tried to contest that.

But that’s not fair. Not to his members and not to her. Not even to himself.

They’d shown him respect and care every step of the way, the least he could do is give them more than a knee-jerk reaction.

“Is it really all that complicated?” Jeongin ponders aloud.

Their maknae looks almost bored from his armchair, staring at them all. His furrowed brow gives away his worry, as does the way he allows Chris to pull him into the elder’s side with an arm around his shoulders.

“I mean, it’s up to her in the end, isn’t it?” their youngest continues, “she’s the only one that can really make a final call.”

“Could we handle that?” Felix finally speaks up. It’s a little scary having everyone’s attention snap to him like that, but this is the crux of the matter, he thinks.

“If she chooses one of us, could we handle that?” he elaborates.

A contemplative silence descends over the room. Felix kind of wishes he could peek into the member’s brains at this moment. He wants to know if they’re as worried as he is, if they’re worried about the same things he is. 

Because, quite honestly, the more he thinks about it the less he really minds if they flirt with his angel.

It’s taken him this long to untangle the ugly knot of emotions in his chest, and he still can’t see all of it for what it is, but the core of it all, he thinks, is fear.

He’s afraid that, at the end of it all, he’ll be left behind. That he’ll lose two of his very best friends, his favorite people in the world, to each other.

He doesn’t think he could handle that.

It’s an unjustified fear, Felix knows. His bonds with all of these people, the seven present in the room with him and one halfway across the world, are stronger than anything. Forged in fire and elastic with time, he’s sure there’s nothing that could ever truly break them.

That doesn’t stop anxiety from creeping up his spine.

Felix lets his eyes wander around the room, landing on each of his members in turn. It’s like something in him believes that they could guide him in this, just by looking at them, the way his gaze lands heavily on each of their forms.

Hyunjin’s hand drops from his head to knead at the base of his neck, and Felix feels himself soften. A little bit of the anxiety drains from him at the comforting touch, and with it gone he can see something new under the miasma of fear and uncertainty.

It’s bright, like hope, and a bit more exciting. A giddy little thought bubbles up with it-

“What if she chose more than one of us?” Han beats him to the punch. His eyes flick between them all anxiously, looking very much like the rodent he’s nicknamed for, and when he’s met with six confused stares and Felix’s suppressed grin, he starts to babble.

“I- I mean, we’ve all shared partners before. Like, sexually, at least. I just- I mean- We’re not strangers to sharing, is all I’m tryna say!” Han explains himself.

His shoulders rise up to cherry-red ears under the weight of their stares. Minho places a calming hand on his thigh, even as he pokes holes in the other man’s claim.

“We’ve never shared romantic partners though,” He points out, annoyingly reasonable, “That’s a completely different thing.” 

“I’d be willing to give it a shot,” Hyunjin shrugs when all eyes turn to him.

He was, admittedly, the last of them Felix had expected to back the idea. Hyunjin was the most romantic of them all, and the least likely to indulge one of them in sharing a partner or two.

“I love you guys, and I really like her,” Hyunjin states plainly, “I don’t see an issue with it.”

“So.. what? We try for, like, a.. polycule kinda thing if she wants?” Changbin questions. He scrunches up his face in concern at the concept, pointing out, “That feels a little unbalanced, doesn't it? Is it fair to hinge the whole thing on her?”

“It's going to hinge on her whether it's fair or not,” Jeongin interjects, “You all have crushes on her, not on eachother.”

“I just don’t know how comfortable I can be with that,” Changbin explains, “There’s one of her, and currently six of us. I don’t think it’s humanly possible for her to split her time enough for all of us, and it’s really unfair of us to expect it of her.”

“It could be a good thing, though,” Han argues, “None of us have the time to dedicate to a relationship how we should. Having more than one of us to turn to could be a good thing.”

“Okay, but you’re all forgetting something very important in this hypothetical,” Jeongin stresses the word, making pointed eye contact with his hyungs, “situation. She has to agree to it too. We can’t make a decision without her.”

Felix can't help but be proud of their youngest for reminding them of y/n’s place in all this. It’s not like they’d forgotten, but it was a good reminder anyway. It did feel a bit icky to be talking about their relationship with her like it was a foregone conclusion.

“I’m just saying!” Han proclaims, throwing his hands in the air, “It’s a possibility that we should be open to if it happens!”

Finally, Chris loudly claps to get everyone's attention and forestall any oncoming argument.

“Oh-kay!” he enthuses, “Let’s refocus. Show of hands, are we okay with everyone flirting with her if they want to?”

All hands go up, none of them opposed to anyone else shooting their shot. Felix pretends like all eyes aren’t on him as he easily raises his arm.

“Alright, next” Chris pushes on, “Do we think we can handle it if she chooses one of us?”

Hesitant murmurs sound around the room at this, but Felix has come to an understanding with himself during this meeting, so he speaks confidently when he says, “I think we’ll be okay.”

His words seem to reassure the others, and a ripple of agreement and gentle ribbing starts circling the room.

“Alright,” Chris nods to himself, interrupting the wave before they could get started with any mischief. He really does know them too well.

“And finally,” he starts, an indecipherable expression crossing his face, “show of hands, who’s alright with the poly thing if it comes to it?”

This subject is more divisive, Han, Hyujin, and Felix’s hands going up, but Minho and Changbin stay quiet with worried faces. Seungmin holds his arm out in front of him with his thumb held out sideways. When questioned, he just says he’s not sure how he feels about it yet.

“We’ll circle back on that later, then.” Chris decides, “I think that’s one of those things we need to be unanimous on.”

Agreements sound out, and the atmosphere relaxes. The evening quickly devolves into an impromptu game night, the group quickly descending upon Felix’s console games like a pack of hyenas.

Felix gets up to switch the TV over to his switch, intentions of strong-arming everyone into playing Mario Party in mind. Chris grabs him by the elbow as he walks by, nodding over to the kitchen. Felix follows him over, already unbearably fond. 

“You sure you're good?” Chris asks lowly, “You've been her friend the longest, and we quite literally thought you were dating her already for a while there. They'll back off if you ask, you know.” 

Felix nods, smiling softly at their leader’s care. “I'm good I promise.” he swears, “I meant it when I said I liked it when my favorite people get along.”

He turns to look through the doorway back at the living room. Despite the strange and personal nature of their conversation, jokes and laughter flow easily now. As if there was never any tension at all. 

Felix can feel himself practically melt as he looks at them, a sentiment he knows their leader shares.

“It would hurt,” Felix admits, “If she chose someone else. But there’s no one I’d trust to hurt me more, y’know?”

Chris doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t really need to. He squeezes Felix’s elbow gently as the younger dives back into the chaos, and Felix knows he’s been understood.

Worm List <3 :

@thatgirlangelb , @hyeon-yi, @velvetmoonlght, @missvanjiii, @hanniemylovelyquokka, @vegetablesarefuntables, @scribblesnsketches05, @kkamismom12, @alexateurmom, @baribaaari, @tayla2351, @heart-trees, @unicornwhisperer666, @aalexyuuuhm, @stilldontknowhoiam, @brbwritingfanfic, @kaciebello, @ririzisblu

Perma Tag List <3 : @mbioooo0000

[taylor-titmouse]

Hey! I love your works, have been a reader for a while now, and I’ve been poking through some of your older stuff and just read the Eternella series. I thought it was very hot and very interesting but also, very sad? That may not be the right word… At least sort of melancholy which made the experience a very wild horny-melancholy ride. It was a surprising sort of emotion to see in your fiction (snd it feels like objects of affection might have a similar tone? from the feelings it’s stirred up in my chest at least) and I guess I was wondering if the sadness was part of that space opera vibe and the reality of Risk’s existence or if the sadness was there to add onto and supplement the sex in some ways? And I’ve always found your erotica quite rich, and I’ve seen, you know, a lot of erotica that plays on horror in fun ways, mystery, etc., but sadness and melancholy just not nearly as much, so I was wondering what goes into a decision like that for the tone of something you’re writing? Because I think Eternella is really tonally different from, like, the Chique series lol, and that’s an interesting thing about your writing for me at least, is the mystery of the tone of your story?

that's a really interesting take of E7, tbh! i really don't know that i would use melancholy to describe the tone of that one, but i can maybe see how you got there? in the way that risk is so effectively isolated and excluded from what's going on around him, things we as readers are privy to that he is not. his family doesn't like him and he doesn't like his family, turn is clearly manipulating him into something, he's being used in engel's weird sex game. i can see a tragic read of that.

man. i was cooking with eternella. maybe someday i'll reboot it a third time as a novel or something.

anyway. i think melancholy comes about as a result of wanting to tell a certain kind of story and prioritizing that story over the fact that the work is also erotica. does that make sense? like, you're totally right that there is a sadness to objects of affection. it is a sort of tragedy about the plight of these woman-shaped things that, though they're truly incapable of sorrow, we project it upon them just as much as we'd project our desires. i'm not shying away from that even as i'm writing about them getting railed.

objects of affection might make you cry, and might make you feel disgust. as long as it makes you feel something, in addition to the eroticism, i'll have succeeded.

but overall--i dunno! you've given me something to think about for sure.

[bunabi]

extra thoughts as I rewatch the video at 0.25x speed

DAV spoilers obviously obviously

Varric's voiceover monologue feels like his final words

Dunno how to feel about the Crows being heroes in this but the red lyrium scythes of their enemies look sick. Or maybe these are just blighted weapons? I assume the explosion during that encounter gives Lucanis his powers.

I love Neve's secondary (?) outfit with the scarf in place of her cravat, very cute, very business casual of her, I fuck with it

Emmrich. What can be said. This is a man who will die.

Also: his trailer outfit is such a departure from his default armor, and I'm really curious where this set is from. Maybe it's the honeycomb pattern, but it feels like a Destiny skin; so unlike anyplace in Thedas. It's not like the Arlathan armor sets we've seen either. It's neat. I'm making a mental note!

The acrobatic/throwing/falling animations feel so floaty. Inquisition had the same thing going for it, so it's not a huge deal.

No final boss fight against Solas confirmed — he will be our ally in the final battle — I feel thoroughly robbed but I'll cry in private on my own time

I thought that was Inquisitor Lavellan at the 2:37 mark but it's not — just someone with DAI June vallaslin; hopefully a member of their clan

I'm holding out hope the red & blue lyrium dragons are Elgar'nan & Ghilan'nain & the big daddy demon is Dumat because it's the only thing I wanted that hasn't been debunked just yet

All interesting things but I think I'll stick to my plan of watching a playthrough before I buy it

I feel so much more optimistic about the game's release — I don't want it to under-perform and create a third pickle for Bioware — but I don't really do preorders anymore & I'm just not there yet overall

Maybe the combat deep dive will open my eyes to the vision because the shortened skill tree & the thing with companion skill advancement being tied to their relationship level are what's holding me back the most 😭

[sotogalmo]

what do you think garrett and abby’s relationship would have been like if garrett lived and they grew up together? (i know abby technically wouldn’t exist if garrett lived but let’s just. play pretend here ok)

YES... Play pretend.... !!!!

Okay so.

Imo, Garrett is much quieter than Micheal is and all that. Calmer, quieter, level-headed, unaware of some feelings because in the small info we get, he doesn't really seem to care for himself (but that's his nativity?? I think?? Lil bro is unaware) and is moreso confused and worried why his brother is calling out for him, but I think he calms down enough

In an au where he Lives, I think he would just stay the same but with some sarcasm to himself??? He seems like a very monotone sarcastic guy, can't control voice level and tone. Kinda just like movie Mike but more healthy, and slightly more outgoing. Autistic guy !!! All of them are autistic as hell

I think when Abby was born that was when he was The Most Emotional. But considering time and year, he would hide it and just cry in his room because like.

When Abby is young, I think he would like. Indulge in her weirdness. She meows? He meows back. He also would make a lot of animal sounds.. mainly birds because he prefers them, but yeah.

I feel like would also like to learn like. Mythos. Blasts him with the LMK Tang persona a bit (I do not know if I'm explaining it correctly............)

When they both get older I just think they'll slightly drift? Garrett, in aus where he lives, always seems to like. Honestly just have a better life then Mike does, lives in some sort of city, etc etc. + being a daddy's boy/dads favorite, so there's that small idea

But since I'm like. Autistic, it's not really that simple and he's autistic during like. What? Early-late 90s? Or something like that? So I don't think he would've had much of an easy life. At least a decent one due to his dedication, and how "perfect" he seems to be (at least slightly better than his brother in some way, but yk. He isn't). I just think he would lose his temper a lot and get dragged into fights. "Ouhhh let's see if we can break mr.perfect here", type of reason from the others ,, yeah

He doesn't pack a strong punch (he quote unquote fights like a girl), but he can still slightly fight. Only a bit. It's never been on his mind that he would be in a fight ever in his life. So he didn't know that this would happen when he would leave to live his own life somewhere he had the money to afford to— maybe when he was turned 23-ish he moved away to said place/area

Anyways. During this, I think he would like. Visit when he has the money, time and effort (his social battery) to. I mean, he probably has the money taken care of- he just slightly forgets to do so (my autistic man)(but with that he writes it on the calendars to remind himself— goes to visit for special occasions, holidays, and honestly just cuz sometimes he wants to. "It's a Friday? I'm gonna visit anyway"). Slightly think he'll be seen as "cool" when he does visit Abby and Mike. Like

"cool uncle/aunt who buys stuff for relatives" in a way, but minus uncle/aunt spot since he's their brother. But again he really. ..... Feels like he wasn't all that connected with his family??? I dunno just to fill up the whole kidnapping death of what happened in canon, in this au, he just. Stays to himself, trusts himself more, etc + the idea of him living away and having a better footing then Mike does

But he does make sure to visit important occasions because he wants to and that's his family. Distant but makes up for it with gifts and being at special events and being a nerd and all of that

[pearl484-blog]

WIP Hand Me The Shovel

Nino is worried about Adrien. He's been working on some mysterious project for some time now for every waking moment of the day for months now. The few times that Nino sees him, Adrien always looks, paler, skinnier, and with darker circles under his eyes, and each time, Adrien rushes him away. Then, one day, Adrien called, and invites Nino on a camping trip. And Nino, of course, says yes. Together, they journey far out to the country side until they reach a small, but luxurious cabin with a waterfront view. As they unpack their belongings and prepare a nice dinner, Adrien remains quiet, always responding to Nino’s questions, but never actually SAYING anything. It's beyond maddening for Nino. Until, finally, a breakthrough. During dinner, Adrien nervously brings up the idea of going for a hike to test out a new gadget he'd bought. It isn't like Adrien to buy things on a whim, and it really isn't like him to be so nervous. Deep down, Nino knows that this isn't a normal hike. Yet he loves Adrien. So he says yes. The next day, Nino’s suspicions are confirmed when Adrien pulls out a device that Nino’s never seen before and starts scanning every bisible inch of dirt they can find, backtracking frequently. Half-joking, Nino asks Adrien if its a metal detector or something, and Adrien gives a rueful smile back before saying its something like that. He doesn't elaborate, and he clams up even tighter for the rest of the search. That is until, he lets out a gasp.

Its part relief and part resignation, but Nino doesnt quiet understand why. Then, Adrien tells Nino the terrible truth. "This is my grave," he tells Nino. "Adrien Agreste's grave". If Nino were a younger man, he might've dismissed Adrien as being crazy or a liar, but living in Paris under the reign of teeror that was Hawkmoth does things zo a person. So instead Nino asks Adrien if he's a ghost. "No", Adrien chokes out, shaking his head. "A sentimonster" "Okay", Nino says, nodding slowly. He can handle this. He knows senti-monsters, more than he knows ghosts. "How long-?" "Since I was 8," Adrien admitted, "or he was 8? I dunno. It's so complicated. I mean, where does he start and I begin?" Nino nods, pretending to understand. Then, faking a calm he doesn't feel, he asks, "What happened?" Adrien shakes his head. "He was swimming in the lake, and...and he drowned. Mom and Dad, they didn't want any questions. So....so they put him here, and they just went home and pretended it never happened." Adrien starts crying. "They made up some fake story about Adrien being sick, and then Mom started doing experiments with the Peacock. There were so many, she'd made herself sick doing it, but...she made me." 'Maybe? Or maybe it someone else! I...I don't even know if I was the one she replaced him. Maybe she made us over and over and over again, just brand new dolls in a line to give the illusion of growing up! Maybe she threw us away every time we were too big a disappointment!" Adrien threw his hands up in frustration. "I've always been a coward! A spineless little lapdog, and I know part of it was because my Dad- No, my father who, by the way-" Adrien laughed, sounding a little hysterical, "was not a hero, but actually HAWKMOTH! Had my amok! So, I was under freaking Hawkmoth's control, but what about everyone else?" 'How much of me was just designed to be a people pleaser? How much of me was made to make my parents feel good and how much was actually what he-" Adrien gestures angrily towards the grave, "was like?" Nino is quiet for a moment. "That Adrien isn't my friend. He's not the one i met in school. He's not the one I hung out with every day in class. He's not the one who listened to all my music." "Don't you get it?" Adrien asks bitterly. "That Adrien doesn't exist. I'm just a bunch of commands for a friggin' psycho!" "You helped with the Rebellion." "I was probably a spy." "You tried to curb Chloe's worst impulses." Adrien laughs, "Yeah, look where that got us." "You care about me." Nino says softly. "Even though your dad hated me, you still love me. That's all you. That has to count for something." Adrien’s silent for a moment. "He was a bad guy." "The worst." "And no one knows what he did. They all think he was some hero! Heck, I thought he was a hero until I found some of my mom's old journals, and even then, I didn't believe it. I mean, who would?" 'But I double checked everything she said, and I found most of the people she talked about, and I put together names and faces and dates and things, and everything lined up...but...their own son? I had to know."

[deathbxnny]

hello! Feel free to not respond to this or read this if it makes you uncomfortable! I just really need someone to talk to rn about this… haha…

I’m a female by birth, and I happen to have bigger breasts than most people my age, which I’m really insecure about. I’m not transgender, but I feel uncomfortable being seen as a woman, and I like going by they/them online. I have this guy friend (not really a friend. They were an old classmate. He makes me tired) and I dunno if he was joking or not but he said something like “oh lmao btw, you were famous among guys last year for having large boobs and gyatt” and started joking about my breasts and I’m not joking when I say I almost burst out crying. I thought my old classmates were good and friendly I didn’t know they were like that and I don’t feel good knowing I was famous for something I’m insecure about especially the thing with breast it makes me want to curl up and disappear- I’m scared I’m so scared help me I don’t wanna go to school anymore but that’s the only place I ever felt safe. I despise my body I wish I could just throw it away and get a new one…

I feel so much happier when I wear masculine clothes but I don’t think I’m trans… I don’t feel safe with men I like being with other girls so much more.

I don’t know how to make my breasts smaller other than surgery and we don’t have money for that and I can’t ask for binders because I don’t want to talk to my mother about this🥲 all I know is I’m scared

and that friend(?) from before jokes about r@pe and makes fun of autistic children and gay/lesbian people and I feel so uncomfortable but my closest friend laughs and I don’t understand I just know I don’t belong there but if I don’t belong there there’s nowhere I can go and trying to communicate about this to the friend would only make him target me more

and I just don’t know… I wish I was born as a man sometimes… maybe things would have been more different

(sorry for the long rant if you read this far! I’m so sorry for this, this is so random haha)

-----♡

Hey there Anon!

I'm not sure if I'm the best person to help you with this, but I'm still honored you thought I was trustworthy enough to tell this to!

So, I'll tell you a bit about myself around this topic, which may help.

I'm not sure how old you are, but from 14-19, I was very heavily struggling with my gender identity. I still very much am, but consider myself non binary nowadays, although only to myself. I present very feminine today, but back then, I, too, always dressed extremely masculine. Super short hair, masculine typical clothing, a walking stereotype of a guy my age, and I was even often confused as one.

It's till this day the most comfortable time of my life.

I suffered from dysphoria, although not because I was necessarily Trans, but because I hated being seen as a woman/any form of gender. I didn't like being in a box filled with labels that didn't apply to me. And whilst I have reverted in presenting very feminine, a part of me wishes the same thing you do.

Now, the reason I'm telling you a lot of this (and this is probably the most personal I've ever been on my blog) is because I want you to be yourself. Make peace with who you are inside. Stay away from people who undermine you and cut them off, even if it's hard. Ignore negative comments or rumors about you, because I promise you, I've heard them all about me and they affected me too when I was younger.

But yk what? I've accepted that I don't identify as anything. I have basically decided that as long as I accept myself, then that's enough for me. No one else except my middle sister acknowledges this part of me, and that's enough. Sometimes in life, we don't need everyone's acceptance as long as we have ours. Because people come and go, but we are stuck with ourselves, so we should be more forgiving and kind to us as humans.

Reading your ask was like seeing myself again in that age and the way I thought. As an adult, I have the confidence to say that I am who I am, and no one can take that away. Not everyone will accept you, and that's fine. Who cares anyway?

Things will get better. You will get the things you need to have to feel comfortable with your body and the way you present yourself. And you'll be yourself, even if it takes a couple of years.

I'm sorry that I can't do more than tell you about this, but my dms are always open for all! I hope sharing my experience could help you gain some insight.

Just know that you're not alone.♡

-----♡

[butterscotch-goat]

🖊 lucy beacuse you loveeeee gingers

you're so right I do love gingers

OKAY I already talk about Lucy a lot so let's see what I can pull out of my ass crack today

Let's start from the beginning??? I guess??

SO originally Lucy was going to be this super mysterious character, mostly because I didn't have any ideas for him at the time. He was going to just go by "boss" and he had melty fractured wings and a halo to represent how badly he missed heaven. wowwwww so cool and edgy bett. anyway. Ended up decided that all fallen angels lost their halos and angels never had wings so that was all scrapped, and for a hot minute I just had this pathetic little guy. I've always seen interpretations of Satan as either super suave, attractive guys or big strong meanie pants or the occasional goat gremlin thing, so I thought having literal Satan as a sad little man wouod be funny. That part is still true, but he's not *literal Satan* anymore since "Dawn" isn't bible-compliant, Lucy was/is just the leader of the fallen angels.

About that "was/is," I feel like I never stressed enough how none of the demons really respect Lucy anymore. Like they don't outright dog on him really but everyone knows that he's a sopping wet cat of a demon. Everyones kinda just like "yeah our boss is a mess of tears and paperwork but like no one else wants to be boss so he can stay"

about his name! Lucy - he wanted to change his name after falling to separate himself from heaven but also to have a name that might cause fear among humans, so he looked to the names humans gave "him" (Satan) - he liked Lucifer, but didn't wanna just steal a name from humans because humans SUCK!!! so he shortened it to Lucy, not knowing that Lucy is a completely normal human name. No one's told him that Lucy is a completely normal name yet and no one plans to :)) he hates going to earth nowadays anyway so he probably won't find out

Currently, his job is making a MASSIVE PLAN for the ULTIMATE COLLAPSE OF HUMANITY!!!! very evil boom fireworks swords bkaw!!! Buuut since gene broke up with him in 1922 Lucy spends most of his time sleeping, crying, or generally being pretty sad. He still works on his PLAN!! because he has nothing else to do besides those previously mentioned activities, tho

I've mentioned this many a time before I think, but when Lucy was an angel (aka Abigail (that was his name when he was an angel)) he made underwater volcanoes, helped making clouds, and made a bunch of bigger, more vague stuff that was created before all the other angels were made. Abigail was the only angel for 100ish years as of typing this, so really not too long. In that time it was just him and Jod, Abigail kinda did whatever he wanted, making stuff and concepts and Jod being his buddy :D

Fun fact!! Y'know how Lucy has that split hair, one side ginger and really poofy and one side not? Well about that not side, I have no fuckign clue what is going on. Is it shaved? Maybe!! Is it dyed black? I dunno prolly??? I haven't thought about it!! I just color it in and give it vague texture!! Will I have to figure it out someday? Yeah but that's for laterrrrr

If he didn't hate humanity and refuse to partake in their ridiculous customs, Lucy would be drinking some form of energy drink 24/7. He doesnt sleep even without an energy drink and he's always on edge regardless but like it makes sense to me. He would chug a purple monster. this is important 2 me

his shoes give him 2 1/2 inches of extra height but he's still short as fukc

you may already know this but 536 AD was when Lucy was in his PRIME!! he ENJOYED going to earth because whenever he did he would just FUCK SHIT UP!! and made humanity sad n stuff!!! but then things started getting better for humans so it wasn't as fun anymore

Okay I've already talked a lot and will talk a lot in the future about this little idiot so that's all for now!!

[somuchbetterthanthat]

I'm wondering what would it even take for Emily to start caring about the fact she is not a good person. Does she know she's not a good person right now? Doubtful. She argues that she's not, and she gives all her reasons, but to me it's denial for the sake of appearances, which is Emily's whole thing (that's why she laughs when Nica tells her she could drop out of the Mayor's race, that people could like her for her - no, that's not what the people WANT) ; she grew up rich, most definitely entitled as heck, she went into business in college. I don't think Emily ever really dropped the appearances. She doesn't do it in the council for evil (and oh man, suddenly want to discuss the difference between Emily "of course we're not evil!" and Oliver's "er, yeah, we are" and how that might come from their different backgrounds--), and she doesn't do it in narration either, so not to herself.

Except. Except when it comes to Ethan. The over-the-top lovesickness is appearances still, but the love is genuine, even if at this point I think it's pretty clear both she and Ethan are in love with what they were in appearance too (or well, what the image is reflecting back on them now. Ethan with memories of when Emily was devoted to his projects, and Emily on the day of their wedding, the genuine joy of that single day, but i think it says so much that Emily fought for the image of that wedding, and then embraced it as a marketing ploy -- admitedly that her opposants were going to kind of use already --. She became the bride of Red Line. The wedding, probably a real moment of happiness, turned also into appareances).

Anyway, my point is, the only time she drops the veil is when Ethan hurts her - the day she shows up in the wedding dress at the beginning of s4, when Ethan COMES AND FUCKING ASK HER ABOUT REPROGRAMMED LIKE A ROBOT WHICH IS STILL THE WILDEST AND MOST HORRORY THING EVER - or when she admits, to Nica, how miserable it makes her that Ethan doesn't seem to care anymore. But all of that is still not enough to shake her off, to admit that she's doing horrible things, and I think it's cause... Well, when it comes to Ethan, she's mostly a victim (from what we've seen in the story so far). You could argue her worry about Wonderland and selling it was her big betrayal to her husband, but since then, Ethan has been nothing but awful to her. The only time he's nicer is to manipulate her or for his own interests.

So how to get her to realize and understand? Can she? Maybe with a push, and I don't think it'd be a kind push. I'm thinking - perhaps if she annoys the Narrator a day too much, and he forces her not to hide from her own deepest thoughts anymore? Or are we going to see her loose her mind and she'll never get the chance to perhaps try and do something - different, even if i don't expect her to become a good person in one season? (although. hey. I didn't guess they'd go there for Oliver, he did terrible things too, and what do you know, those last scenes made me fucking cry so). That would be a sort of tragedy, and not every villain is the sort to be ""reedemeed"" in some way.

... I hope we get to see her with Nica again, because if anyone can get through her, I assume it'll be her. But I think it would also be very good to see Emily with someone else entirely, someone unexpected, that gets to her long enough for her to start questioning, at least, if it's all worth it - maybe not change her morals, but at least shift her selfish interests away from hurting people so violently. I dunno.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3 Despair arc episode 7

Thonks

Oh so we're just gonna jump immediately into last time, which was Junko running into Ryota.

And interrogating him now.

Never thought I'd here Junko Enoshima utter the word weeb and yet here we are.

Rude, animators deserve more recognition and stuff.

The irony of an anime character going on a rant about how important anime is.

To another anime character who doesn't like anime.

The fourth wall is taking some hits this episode.

Wasn't expecting him to than show her his project.

And than for to cry.

I love how they had to include a *This is her personal opinion* note as Junko wacks down a bunch of manga with a bat.

Mukuro crying face was legitimately terrifying tho.

Oh no, don't tell Junko how to influence anyone's brains with subliminal messaging.

... Or with anything.

I thought this was just a bit but nope... This is bad... Oh no.

I'm gonna be saying that a lot aren't I.

This is what I get for wondering what Ryota was doing during all of this, because while apart of the 77th class, he's not apart of the killing game or the Remnants.

But he's part of the Future Foundation.

I am concerned about the casual conversation about using media to brainwash people and than Ryota ends it with making the world a better place.

And her smile, oh he is so gonna be a tool for destruction.

Aaannnd Gundam is doing poses with a bear.

Love to see it.

Nagito's still suspended... And was in a plane crash and ended up a deserted island.

Typical Nagito things.

.... Didn't need to see him showering in a waterfall...

And of course straight after that is Teruteru putting a banana through a donut.

I gotta hand it to these guys they really embodied high schoolers.

Gundam saying silence you perverts as a bear chomps on their hands, the best response.

And Ryota's been missing for a week.

I'm sure Junko had nothing to do with that.

Ugh Juzo's here.

Just when I had my hopes up I wouldn't have to deal with him for a while.

But fine, what you gotta say.

... Oh 20 staff members have gone missing... Nevermind that is important.

Juzo, you are the dangerous people. Maybe not specifically these dangerous people, but you do be dangerous.

.... Chisa why would you wanna lay your life down for Munakata?

Literally.... Why?

"Don't let emotions infer with the job you're here to do."

Those are bold words for you of all people to utter, Mr I damn near beat Hajime into a coma.

Get off you're high horse.

Ryota I get what you mean by the new equipment is great but you're always alone, how are you more alone here?

What cos Twogami ain't here to make sure your still alive?

Rude.

Mukuro casually kidnapping Mikan.

Typical day for both of them.

Given how Mikan... Talks about Junko... I am not looking forward to this.

Junko's analyse face is disturbing.

So she was able to, on the second watch figure out how the brainwashing works... Wow.

No yeah, ultimate analyst makes sense.

Oh look it's Izuru.

And she asked him out.

I don't ship it.

OH! I should've seen that coming but nope.

Just bodies hitting the ground, and the bloods pink again.

I guess that would be her version of a date, and Junko's the one doing the killing.

Which is somehow more terrifying

She's usually the woman in the chair, but seeing Junko be the one actively killing and torturing people is creepy.

I dunno if I've mentioned it before but I like Izuru's voice because it very much sounds like if someone had their soul drained out.

And it sounds similar to Hajime's but also not.

... Oh... Oh no...

There's kids in the classroom....and she wants to show Izuru despair on a bigger scale.

The student council too... Not just some random students.

Wait.

I had heard there were other killing games, or at the very least the 78th class wasn't the first.

So this is the first killing game... Ohh that is good.

Man the guy telling everyone to calm sounds so much like Ishimaru in both the sound of his voice and his words.

This is so much scarier than any killing game shown in the games... Holyshit Mukuro just shot a student and went you don't fall in line and do the same you'll end up like her.

No crazy executions.

No class trial.

No Monokuma.

This is terrifying.

Well at least we still have the motive videos.

Mukuro singing while this goes on is just yeah sure.

And it just keeps going... Fuck.

Also it can't be a coincidence that some of these kids loosely resemble the 78th class

I love that the chainsaw says Jason Freddy.

And the fact the last one manager to graze Izuru's cheek.

Typical hopes peak wanting to cover it up, even though Jin does want to say something.

Huh I wonder if that guy stuck with Kirigiri in the present because her father asked him to keep an eye on her if something happened to him.

Junko exposing the whole Kamakura project and the student council massacre.

And using Izuru as the scapegoat.

Clever.

So now the reserve course is coming for the main school.

"Where did you go Hinata?"

Oh erm... You don't wanna know Chiaki.

Trust me on that.

[theangrypokemaniac]

Part Two

Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and some biscuits.

What I've explained so far is merely the intellectual portion of my hatred.

I don't think it's too much to ask for something to make sense and respect the history and laws of its own universe.

I haven't even started talking about my emotional reaction, which is somehow even more volcanic.

Little T.A.P. had what's known euphemistically as 'the artistic temperament' (nutter) and as such, was the most hardline, take-no-prisoners Rocketshipping extremist you'd ever have the misfortune to meet.

Worse than everyone on Tumblr, combined.

If anyone reading this considers themselves an obsessive, then no, mate, you're not.

You ain't seen nothing compared to my psychotic prime.

Glorious, it was.

I, but a simple, unassuming child, had a clear vision in life:

I will kill anyone who comes between you.

And I wasn't one o' these wishy-washy 'Oh there's nothing there now but it has potential' dishcloths, I was the Real Deal.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! IT IS UNSPEAKABLY BEAUTIFUL TRUE LOVE OF MYTH AND POETS AND SONGS AND DREAMS!!!!!!

As far as I was concerned, it deserved to ranked alongside the great romances of history and legend.

• Romeo and Juliet

• Lancelot and Guinevere

• Anthony and Cleopatra

• Tristan and Isolde

• Victoria and Albert

• Orpheus and Eurydice

• Nicholas and Alexandra

• Hero and Leander

• Heloise and Abelard

• Pyramus and Thisbe

But, you know, without the death.

Besides which, I had no internet, and no friends who liked Pokémon, so I sincerely believed I was the only Rocketshipper in the world, and felt it more intensely on top of the rest as compensation.

And if you watch the early Indigo League in the view that Jessie and James aren't just destined to be in the future, but a fully-fledged, when-can-we-be-married legitimate couple, but it's never mentioned much because it's not relevant to the main story of Ash's quest, then it bloody works!

Suddenly you start thinking that maybe they want that one big heist so badly so they have enough to retire on and set up home together.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See talking about brings it all the bastard memories back and how they all died and led to nothing and now I want to sit in the corner and cry for the love that never lived.

Imagine me, in such a state, watching this utter abomination, matching Jessie with a man, and it's not James, and thinking I would ever take it well.

I don't understand how anyone could.

The best (THE BEST!) explanation I have is that these writers, now needing to string it out until the final moments of Johto, realized they'd taken the romance too far and wanted to hold back, but did it in the most cack-handed, clod-hopping fashion, undermining it so the whole ship collapsed about their ears, from which it's never really recovered.

This team, after all, thought Tracey was a good idea, so how much could we ever expect?

I'm not saying it died that day, as I still found things (the second film, by Shudo), but this was the first inkling I got that, well maybe it won't end happily after all.

And that hurt.

I should've seen it in Bad to the Bone, but this decision made the uneven writing far too plain, so how could I ever put my faith in it all turning out alright, if it's so dependent on an individual writer's whims?

What if the last-ever-episode was written by the wrong person, and it was left to his decision?

I dunno. Maybe the success of Pokémon went to their heads and drove 'em doolally, thinking they could coast serving up any old tripe.

Or they never wanted Rocketshipping to be so big, and deliberately set about a sabotage to put people off.

After all, the dearth of shipping content come Hoenn, the first region after Shudo left, can't really be explained otherwise.

And everything beyond that is the most paltry, blink-and-you'll-miss-it table scraps, like Jessie touches James back for half a second and the fandom flies out of its mind about it because they're so deprived of proper nourishment.

Then the supposed big stuff always comes with a catch that yet again chips away at their formerly established personalities, giving with one hand but robbing with the other.

I once heard someone defend XY063 (AND DON'T START ME ON THAT!!!) with talk of how:

For something shippy to happen, something anti-shippy needs to happen first.

We can't take one step forward before we've took a step back, so nothing ever moves.

In the present anyway. The canon gets ripped to ribbons.

Well who says it should?

'Cause I don't remember any price paid in the golden age of Rocketshipping. Back then it was just allowed to happen.

So what changed?

It can't only be they cut down on the romance to give it greater appeal to children, thus turning a bigger profit, as what do they think we were?

But here is where you start to see the almost brainless willingness to ignore all that's gone before.

Anything to keep it going, eh?

The entire reason Jessie and James was special is because it's two kids adrift from the worlds they were born into where no one understood them...until they met.

You go by the original canon, and it's them chancing upon their soulmate, realizing it, and never parting from that day.

They was only ever going to be the other in their lives, and they knew, and IT WAS SO BLOODY BEAUTIFUL!!!

The idea there's one person for everyone is the magic material woven into all the highest dreams of humanity, and it made Little T.A.P.'s tender heart sing hosannahs to its holiness.

Oh, but yer can forget that now, 'cause it's all gone to shit.

Turns out Jessie DID have one of them connections (honest!), but it was some other random knobhead named Darren who sniffs glue round the back of Netto.

Oh-ho, I bet Keats, Byron and Shelley are dusting off their immortal quills as we speak, keen as mustard to commit these wholesome snippets to paranormal paper.

Get this: she, apparently, knew Darren practically from the maternity ward, and spent her whole life with him, which is longer than her own parents lasted (supposing that bit of her past stayed the same, and I'm not sure it did, but anyway) meaning he's the biggest relationship of any kind she ever had, the one constant source of emotional support and companionship throughout her younger years, twinned with her as no one else ever could be (PFFT!!!) but he's never been bloody mentioned before!

And he's never seen again!

And he's got No Fookin' Eyes!

He's SO important, but he also doesn't matter at all, as them writers don't care no more.

James not only isn't The One, he ain't even The Two after Osstin got invented, and The Three is Darren part two, for Jessie's slummin' it for sloppy seconds.

James is well down the rankings of First Ever Love Evah in the modern configuration, which is nice.

And they just keep twisting the knife!

Pokémon Tech. is a school for Trainers, so first-year pupils must be at least ten, therefore I surmised that's how old Jessie and James were at their fateful encounter.

BUT she's evidently younger than ten here, so not only have they killed off her joint history with him, they've gotta mock it too by making out it couldn't even come close to the depth of dependency she had on ding-dong-merrily-on-high Daz, since they go way back!

As I said, Jessie's established past is oblitered by this scene, but so too is James's, and now he didn't abscond from school to join a bike gang, and I don't know where he comes from either because Holy Matrimony! is out too.

If I'm generous however, and overlook that, presuming the 'rich kid' theme still applies, there's no telling why, when or how he ran away, but I'll guess he was ten when he did, for that's the traditional age of majority here.

As the Training Daze version of events now takes precedent with everyone who isn't me, and those lauding it want to hammer yer into submission about how Duh Twenny Fyve, this makes a fifteen-year gap from James leaving home to swanning up at HQ, which is just an enormous black hole of cold emptiness.

Has there ever (EVER) been an episode dealing with what happened to him then, who he met, what jobs he had, how he survived?

NO!

With Indigo canon binned (apart from the following, apparently, which is convenient), I'm supposed to accept that James, who wasn't just a small boy, but a preened, pampered only child and precious son and heir, fêted and catered to by a household full of servants, with no life skills or survival instincts to speak of, somehow scraped by on the streets on his own FOR FIFTEEN YEARS, with no Jessie to take care of him, or Chopper, or Tyra, or any kindly biker?

As if! He'd have been dead within hours!

Of course, he caught no Pokémon during this period either (being most of his life) and consequently had no form of self-defence to hand, but this colossal plot hole doesn't seem to trouble anyone.

Who knows, maybe in this timeline he stayed home until the night before Giovanni snapped him up, which I suppose makes Jessibelle his own personal Darren in significance.

Except people never mind if, by default, every new Jessie backstory comes replete with endless gobshite wasters queueing up to give her Forgotten Major Trauma, but if James has another woman, and it's Jessibelle, there's hell to pay.

Well no wonder she's miffed, staying with him for decades only to watch him walk out the door as soon as she slipped on the veil.

I reckon it's only the good humour of Vileplume that keeps her from tipping into full Miss Havisham mode.

Whilst I'm at it, the art style of Training Daze is a bit...off, and doesn't resemble the rest of Hoenn.

I suspect it's an imitation of how they looked in their earliest scenes, in fact the above screenshot is suspiciously like this one, even if they haven't bothered fixing the colours.

See? They can draw better. They just won't.

My theory is the crew knew retconning the past was playing with fire, so deliberately designed 'em as close as they could to early Kanto, thereby easing fans into accepting it, as if now it's obvious Indigo Jessie and James really went through the prequel, and were originally invented with this past in mind.

Yeah. Not that it makes sense, for if the Kanto style was that important to anyone they'd still be going by its canon backstories come what may, and certainly wouldn't have rolled over blithely accepting the mushed-up faces on 'em recently, but then, who really cares about coherent thinking?

It's so overrated.

And I can't deny it worked. People tie themselves in all sorts of weird knots insisting Training Daze ackshully does fit with canon...if you just shut up and stop noticing.

Once that got through, in their view we'd swallow anything, so why even try making it match?

Who is this supposed to be, man? 'Cause it don't resemble any Jess I remember.

If this picture had gone round labelled as 'Young Nurse Joy' before Sinnoh, no one would've doubted it.

What's wrong with yer bloody eyes, love? They ain't even the right shape!

How can I believe a backstory that happened to someone else?

Now I, being a calm, mild-mannered sort of soul, don't ask for much in life.

But he should die.

Incidentally, years after the fact I skimmed a Cori Falls story where Darren knocked Jessie about, and although I would never once suggest that happened (but it did) I can't say I have a single ounce of sympathy for him.

I mean, if he didn't want that sort of representation, he shouldn't have bloody turned up.

Please understand, I haven't relentlessly insulted him merely from a shipping perspective (die), but also with a fine artistic sensibility.

Firstly, he has No Bloody Eyes, which, logically, constitutes some sort of Shadow Dæmon, but more importantly, and much worse, is the brown hair.

Brown hair.

You're in an anime, and yer got brown hair.

...

YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOUR IN THE WORLD AND YER PICK BROWN???!!!

Even worse ('cause it's personal now), it ain't even arranged in some ker-razy spiky display as compensation.

Oh no. He's too good for that. Instead Darren's got his barnet all nice and smooth, like a human haircut.

...

See what I'm saying?

He comes swaggering in here, throwing his weight around and upsetting everyone, and hasn't even got the decency to look the part.

Not even an inch of sideburns on this oaf.

I wouldn't mind nearly so much if we were dealing with some ultra-cool world-class titan, the sort of shining star suited to front any other anime, where you could understand Jess taking an interest, but I am not putting up with sticking this bog-standard, penny-pinching tow-rope, with his all-over even wood finish and cow lick, into her past without so much as a by-your-leave, and thereby casting aspersions on her character.

Just consider the insult:

You're telling me Jess has gone from bagging herself James, who's not only young, good-looking, carrying the classic anime style, AND actually matters in the grand scheme with a massive fan following, because he's well-designed and interesting enough to pull a crowd (plus, let's not forget, HE'S FOOKIN' LOADED, MAN!!!) to settling (and come on, it's settling) for eyeless, bland background filler, who wouldn't even pass muster as a one-time guest character?

Yer can piss off!

Indigo Jess had some flamin' standards and wasn't gonna compromise 'em, but Orange Jess apparently has no taste whatsoever, and is just bloody grateful when any old slobbering air thief shows interest.

And I'm not 'avin it!

See that's why she's on the floor. He hit 'er.

All I said about Darren being Jessie's main source of stability also applies in reverse, as she is that to him.

And still he effed off.

Arsehole. Complete arsehole.

What a classy moral-of-the-story routine this was for the romantically-inclined Little T.A.P.

'Used t'be Jessie crossed paths with her everlasting soulmate (James) and stuck it out through thick and thin.

Message: True love is real, kids!

Together forever!

No matter how long!

From now until the end of time!

Now? Oh yeah, she had a thing once, and thought it was the proper stuff, but...meh.

'Cause even after years together you just can't trust 'em not to leave.

Message: Never feel secure!

Not for one second!

You don't know what he's plotting!

Oh, kill the dream, why don't yer?

Let's not aim for something higher anymore, trying to convey the soaring ideals of love, so that, despite their misery and poverty, Jessie and James have a little beauty to cling on to through the darkness.

Nah, mate, kick 'em when they're down!

Thus Darren departs continuity, oversized coat and guide dog in hand, as Orange Jess sinks to her knees, pleading for his return.

Have some bloody self-respect, Jess!

You're so invested in a walking Cuprinol advert you're actually begging him not to go?

You like minimum-effort mediocrity THAT much?

And you're STILL sorry it didn't last?!

Fuxake, woman!

For if I accept it, I think less of her.

There once was a time when our Jess pictured herself as an earthbound goddess served devotedly by adoring slave boys.

Ooooh. Some of them lads have brown hair.

They've all got curtains, perms and mullets, man!

That's the default setting of anime!

Being mere fantasy figures, they don't really exist in this universe, and thus I'm cutting 'em some slack, given this whimsy never buggered up canon.

They know their place.

But watching her debase herself like this, crawling across the scratchy nylon carpet, clutching at the tan polyester seams of Darren's best waterproof ensemble, really got my goat, as that ain't the Jess I loved and idolised.

Old Indigo Jess wouldn't have stood for any of that nonsense, as her lovely little speech in The Ghost of Maiden's Peak makes plain.

Oooh, but she's just trying to save face because of what she did in the past.

A. You're only saying that in hindsight, wanting to believe Pokémon has a solid continuity where both Barren Darren and Austin Powers fit, even when it's impossible.

B. Where's the evidence for this in original canon?

C. There's nothing wrong with learning from others' mistakes instead of going there yourself.

D. Orange Jess evidently doesn't regret it, what with telling us all about sinking so low she's hankered after Spirits From The Nether Realm, and giving it good woe-is-me in the aftermath.

Back in the first series, all the fellas Jessie wanted waiting upon her had James's lean physique, with the majority sporting some variation on his hair colour.

Is it really just a coincidence that since then, none of her supposed beaus look remotely like him?

Each one has either brown or dark grey hair, making 'em as boring as possible:

• Darren

• Aston Villa

• Dr. Shite

• Speccy in the Lucario film.

• Him from Mewtwo Returns, whatever his name is, the sub says Penicillin.

So the art department's going out of its way to tell us:

1. James is NOT Jessie's type.

2. She has really low standards, yet he STILL doesn't meet 'em.

Now Darren doesn't really matter too much, since everyone else who hasn't been nursing a grudge for two decades forgets him.

Even I don't care until he comes up in screen shots.

Osstin however is the real shithouse.

He gets an entire bloody episode nurturing his canon balls.

See here's where the slippery slope knocks yer down:

• Make Team Rocket look Indigo for Training Daze.

Once accepted, don't bother letting Jess resemble herself in Crossing Paths!

• Introduce other men in a minor flashback.

Now the past is broken, have whole episodes pissing on its memory.

And how the quality has sunk in the meantime.

Darren, whilst a massive step down from James, is at least reasonably masculine, and probably as attractive as shape-shifters get.

Osstin meanwhile...

I'm gonna ignore the brown barnet, being a tangle of jagged edges, evidently over-compensating for what lies beneath.

'Cause he is ugly, man.

Jessie's tastes have degraded so badly they've slipped into the perverse, juvenile blood throbbing at the sight of a squeaky, short-arsed four-eyes barely bigger than herself.

Why, God? Why do you curse me?

James was a wealthy effeminate fop, in his day, Darren was a normal, middle-of-the-road incubus, in his day, both of which are a sight load better than whatever this is supposed to be.

You want me to believe Jessie's gone from either of them to a squinting, emasculated and vertically challenged dweeb, fogging up at the mere sniff of Reddit and SY-UNCE, and truly hideous to behold?

She left Darren for him, did she?

Takin' liberties here!

Remember it, tho?

Back when she was taking expensive dance classes in an unspecified region paid for by her indulgent moneybags parents with those familiar best friends of hers?

You know, that pair we keep seeing on the road.

Never not on our screens, are they?

I'm sick of hearing about 'em.

It's always Jessie getting dumped, you notice. Never her kicking the useless sod to the kerb, realizing she can do better.

Nope. Only James is low enough for that.

But do they really expect me to still love and admire Jessie, look up to her even, as I once did, when now I'm told she's so pathetic even nerds don't want her?

Bastards!

Oh, you're sorry this didn't work out, are yer Jess?

You're crying because you didn't marry the gormless incel and birth a dozen bi-focal babies?

Just look at yerself, girl!

Worse, Darren left her when they were reasonably grown-up, about the age she was in the Orange League, meaning if it happened (which it didn't) it had to be not long before Kanto began, so I might understand her still being upset over a man she'd known since childhood, supposing I did believe it.

BUT Osstin buggered off when she was at best, about bloody eleven, and so they had no romance in the first place, yet she's still moaning about The Geck That Got Away well into Sinnoh, meaning she regrets losing him more than Darren!

You're rapidly going down in my estimation, Jess!

Of course, the irony is James morphing into said revolting breed of 'male' in the later eras, so by rights Jessie ought to be on him like a pigeon on Monster Munch.

I marvel at anyone who kept their Rocketshipping hopes up this long, given just how many warning signals the writers put out over the years.

Nothing blatant, obviously. They're not stupid.

Even the quote above quietly kills off any hint of Jessie and James's then-relationship, and as usual with retcons, once said, you're expected to apply them to the past and pretend it was always this way.

No one loves Jess, kids!

And certainly not James!

All that Indigo evidence was just in your head!

There's never a positive reflection of her being glad she met James and Meowth, that these various conflicting pasts led to them, and so it all worked out in the end.

Every time she bemoans a 'lost love', it's a tacit admission she wishes she was anywhere but here, and with anyone but them.

Anyone but James, in truth.

Oh, that's cheered me right up.

How miserable she looks.

If nothing else proves Holy Matrimony! is out of continuity (barring bits of it, when useful), it's that her Orange League whining come after this scene.

And this one.

And this one...

...When she is plainly in a relationship with him.

Jessie's first action after staring into James's eyes for an unnecessarily long period of time is to move closer and wrap her arms about his neck, for one of those entirely platonic embraces, no doubt, both so captivated by the moment they've forgotten Meowth exists.

But it never happened, did it?

They've always been Just Friends, haven't they?

See when I rule the world (it won't be long now), and people ask why I did all them war crimes, I'm gonna point 'em to THIS for setting me off.

The End

[Part One] [Part Three]

[Part Three 2.0] [Part Four]

[pennzance]

I have noticed a trend among conservative commentators that one of their primary reasons for voting for Trump was that he was an outsider, someone who wasn't part of the establishment, that they voted for him to shake things up and change the status quo.

Putting aside for the moment that the change they apparently voted for was outright oligarchy, a cratering economy, open support for historical enemies and contempt for our closest neighbors, unforced errors and outright stupidity, I find their language interesting.

I've heard it before, you see. They voted for him because they felt unrepresented by the politics of the time. They voted for him because he made them feel seen. They voted for him because they found some kindred identifying mentality.

Almost like, I dunno, how they think minorities vote.

But they're the 'silent majority', right? The country is obviously mostly people just like them who were tired of politics as usual and decided to finally stand up and use their voices, right? White, angry men are still the majority race of the country, right?

Well... that's complicated by adjectives, isn't it? For example, I myself am White, a Man, but not (until recently) all that Angry. I wouldn't use that word to describe myself most of the time. And I know several other White Men who are not Angry. They are Empathetic, Well-Adjusted, or Open-Minded. Some of them are, and I know this is hard to believe, Happy.

And if we're gonna boil everyone down to three descriptors, White Men of any disposition are factually not the majority of the country. There's these people called Women, you see, to say nothing of everything else a person might identify as. There's a healthy population of people who do not see themselves as White. I'd even go so far as to say that, current circumstances aside, less than half of the country would be considered Angry.

I think some, not all, of their problem stems from the dissonance of using minority language to describe themselves when they feel like they aren't a minority. This transition of White Men to a group without all the advantages has been rough going for everyone that ISN'T White Men for a long time, and in classic fashion the millisecond White Men THOUGHT they might not actually be in control of EVERYTHING, they whined and bitched and moaned and appropriated the language of oppressed minorities as if everyone else in the room wasn't going to immediately call bullshit on that.

This is a situation where the fat, contented establishment of White male dominance is being challenged from all sides, including from other White Men. The walled city with all of the money and food and advantages is crying that it isn't FAIR that all of these poor, destitute peasants have risen up and politely pointed out that they aren't being fair or equitable or even sane. And the galling thing is that by using this language and keying into this feeling, that walled city has convinced a lot of the very people that should be absolutely be laying siege to it with the rest of us that THEY are actually under siege too, despite being outside of the wall, having none of the money, and no advantages.

Most, not all but most, of MAGA can be described this way. Ideological hostages, convinced they are somehow part of a club that does not care about them and is, in fact, eager to use them up and toss them aside. They are the philosophical equivalent of Free Real Estate, with not one critical thought given to their situation that might shatter the illusion.

This mentally twisted subservience is a minority. They don't want to be one or admit they are one, but they are. Maybe instead of deriding them, they need to be approached from this lens of Stockholm Syndrome suffering minorities who have been convinced to vote and cheer against their own self interest.

I know that sounds hard and probably a pain in the ass, and I get that. Fortunately, it is getting easier as the knock-on effects of their misguided vote become more and more apparent.

Don't give up on them. Keep trying. And maybe point out to them that minorities don't have to vote as a block, or all hold the same opinion.

Oh, and before anyone gets the wrong impression and in case I didn't make myself clear: Pete Hegseth is a blithering idiot, working for a man who is so unacquainted with his feet because of his spray-tanned girth that the reason he was able to dodge military service is a mystery to him now. I think the entire administration is full of idiots, con men, and idiotic con men who are all happily beholden to a foreign adversary because of precisely this same phenomenon. There's always a bigger fat cat, and in this case his name is Putin.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

knock at the door

I rarely have people spontaneously appear at my door

in a way that is positive or even welcome

in my current home it's mostly older people

and usually they show up to complain or tell me

something that is ridiculously arbitrary but matters VERY MUCH

to their very small and limited perspective of the world

that was kind of their generation's culture so I get it

and also they didn't have the internet and I think we forget

how difficult it was to get all the information we youngsters

have at our fingertips now that you'd only have been able to

obtain by going to the library or something likewise scholarly

today it was a man at my door that I'd never seen

handing me a summons to court for my divorce

I still have my other divorce papers and it looks the same

I read over it lightly and it uses the same language

there was a moment I felt emotion at my throat

there's not excitement exactly that replaced it

but more of a sense of 'finally we can get this started'

I'm over the shame and stigma of divorce now

I felt for awhile like I'd failed something or would seem

less desirable to future prospective partners because I obviously

was not able to retain the title of wife very well

I have this thing where when dudes start treating me bedly

I kind of make their life hell with my amazing monologues

and hilarious mythologies about how stupid they are

I guess some men just can't take their justice well

maybe they should have been nicer I dunno

now I've kind of woven it into my mythology

it takes a lot of work to have two divorces under your belt

it's expensive and takes awhile to get through the process

it shows I'm willing to commit and willing to burn it down

it shows I really believed in something for awhile

I'm glad I ate breakfast first because this experience

would not have gone down well if I was hangry

it's a confirmation to how truly unattached I am now

and considering this dude had a habit of randomly telling me

he wanted a divorce more than thirteen times during arguments

and it was more a devalue and discard cycle

but that's how he likes to do things and then deny them

I'm glad he finally put his dick where his mouth is

the first time I went through this process I never really

overcame the shame of it and acted accordingly

during my first custody battle I didn't look at all the options

because I was so scared at the threats made to take my kids away

this ex-husband also threatened to take my kid away

and did various other things to keep me in a state of fear

and enjoyed the pain he habitually came around to inflict

I think I've learned my lessons this time around

so it may just be time to return them and I hope

my lawyer is impressed with how far I've come

last time I wanted to play nice and cared way too much

about the feelings of someone who never cared about mine

now I love knives more than feelings so it's going to be

fun to see just where I can cut and what will come out

and that's a metaphor in case my words make anyone uneasy

this is going to be a chess game I just may enjoy

what can I get away with?

what can I gain from this war?

I am not at all interested in leaving without a few spoils

of war to make sure he remembers just who the fuck

he decided to mess with and treat poorly

he's the one who chose to make the vows and break them

and now that I'm faithful only to myself

I'm interested to see all my options on the table

I want to make sure he sees them too

sweats a little as I peruse and decide just what I want to take

I want him to cry to the next girl that I skinned him alive

maybe that's just now though and I'll feel differently

after a bit of time passes but since I've taken such careful

time to document the unforgivable sins of his making

I think my efforts deserve whatever just rewards they receive

it's fun to let go of the outcome and embrace curiosity

I don't know what I want to do but I do know

I'm going to have fun and enjoy it a bit

third time is the charm and I don't feel sad anymore

and I'm kind of excited about what I'm going to learn

[silly-plays-p3r]

<< >> *pokes this blog with a stick to see iif it's dead or not* you doin aight? get any farther?

*startled awake* Ah! huh?

Yes. Alive. TT0TT Just haven't had a chance to play. u_u (stuff is stuffing regardless if I want it to or not, in another week I'll be going on vaycay for a week so.......well I'll probs get farther on my Steam Deck ver but I'm still in April there fjdklsajf TT0TT).

Wait no, slight lie. We got to play once (a week ago?). We got the Kyoto trip (Bebe was there! Yay!). The slap happened tho (NOOOO BOOOO! D:<), and from what I remember it was even more uncalled for than the other versions. So yeah that solidified that "no matter how nice you make Yukari sound, her actions still piss me the fuck off"

Anyway hot spring scene, Junpei still a doucher. REALLY WEIRD they changed it???? Felt more like a 3D ver of P3P's for some reason???? (i don't usually play the male's side with P3P so I don't have it as memorized as the FeMC side or 3/FES vers). Like???? You removed the ONE kinda cool thing about P3's hot spring scene and it was the interaction! P3P gets a pass because it's in VN style so it's choices. But what's P3R's excuse???? TT0TT Why did you get rid of the interaction in exchange for dialogue choices????

They also changed the ending porting iirc.....? Maybe there's more than 2 endings. But it did make me go like...."why?"

I think it's the movie's influence again, I successfully got out, we made a break for the entrance. But unlike the movie they all got out, with Junpei/Ryo fainting by the entrance rather than in the hot spring itself.

I......don't really see the need to change it tbh, it made more sense for Junpei/Ryo to faint while we waited out IN the hot spring...but maaaaybe there's other routes and I just didn't see them. I'll have to find out later when I.....reload it. BU

Anyway, Chidori died. Junpei was sad. I was apathetic as usual. I think I'm in Tartarus now.

Maybe I'll play more this week. Maybe I'll nut up and try to play Fortnite (I hate multiplayer games with a passion), but I want the Korra stuff. ;w; Do I have to play PVP to do the battle pass? Can't I just do PVE? (sorry off topic, but that's my dilemma atm). Gonna be honest, I thought Persona would get me into that damned game, but nope. TT0TT Korra beat them to it

Oh back to P3R round up.....I did get to start Mitsu's SL! :D

I think my line up of SLs is looking pretty snazzy, I might max them all!

I do think P3R could've given us a LITTLE more wiggle room. Couldn't give us that lil URL thing a biiiiit sooner? >_> Just make it more expensive for crying out loud! That should balance it!

Of course maybe they didn't do that so they could cover up for the (still?) lack of mini games in the damn game (really? you couldn't copy and paste the P5 fishing game???? I see a damn pier in the background while I'm on the school rooftop! TT0TT)

At least I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a mini game around flkdjasflkja

Anyway that's my P3R round up! ....WAIT! ONE MORE THING! jklsdjf;ksaf

This didn't happen to me. But my friend/ex-coworker is playing it on gamepass and kfljasdlkfjkajf jklfdsjafl;jak snnnnnrrrkkk dfkslfjlk;ajfljafl

He had like 90 some hours in it and......he got booted back to the tutorial day TT0TT And is back to level 1 kfdljasklfj;alf

He asked me what happened and I was like "????? I dunno man??? TT0TT Never happened to me before fjdklasjfl this wouldn't happen if you did the PS2/PSP vers jsdklafj Maybe it's gamepass??? You sure it's not NG+? Did you leave it running"

"No!"

So he could be messing with me, or he got a weird glitch but rip to him if true. u_u If it was a glitch, wow Atlus/Xbox wow fkdjsal;fjkadjf