#i dunno im selfish i guess

[flyingspicerack]

Nie nie eveyone

[mew-less]

wld it be evil if i mostly just used tumblr to post stuff and didn’t rlly look at or reblog anything besides Palestine stuffs…. at least temporarily…. idk i just feel like shit right now due Something id rather not talk about publicly and also haven’t properly used tumblr in Forever so it’s honestly a little intimidating lol!!! i honestly don’t even use tumblr that much anyways so like 🙁 idk

[the-dot]

.

[calico-strawberry]

Hm. Kinda getting hit by a truck mentally I think.

[thelooniemoonie]

Man. I'm only now realizing I havent...updated any of my art stuff in a while huh?

[exculis]

Suicidal again 🤪

[athymelyreply]

Mm. It’s a trauma feels night. Sorry, this is gonna be a vent post. Don’t feel obligated to read.

[limnologylover]

wuh woh bed time, wondering if my friends still like me as a person or if they miss the niche i fulfilled in their lives by playing video games with them and if im inheritly worthless now that i dont interact with them as often

[sircantus]

I genuinely cant sit through miscommunication plots or like. Stories where the character is so clearly laying lie on top of lie on top of lie in such a gritting-your-teeth-oh-no kinda way, like. Why is this enjoyable. Why is this funny? They are lying to everyones faces and its not even usually for a good reason its usually bc said character wanted to continue to look good or theyre trying to gain something or I DUNNO. SOMETHING SELFISH. Maybe if it was a DECENT reason like “oh im trying to protect someone” maybe ok start building the tower of lies i guess but NO its never even a good reason its always STUPID and USUALLY COULD BE FIXED IF YOU JUST STOPPED LYING BADLY

[mydearesthrry]

the end - h.s.

a/n: and just like that, harry styles love on tour is over. thank you for the memories. hoping and praying h stays happy and safe and healthy always. enjoy nearly 600 words of me being emo also none of this makes sense and it’s so so shit but I had to post something im so sorry

🎀 warnings/cw: angst. fluff. harry crying

🐇 pairing: fem!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: 583

summary: following the final show of love on tour, you reassure harry that it’s time for him to rest now.

“C’mere Bunny,” she whispers in the muffled quiet of the dressing room. Harry was sat on the opposite side of her on the couch, and she knew to give him space at this moment in time. Harry was fully soaking everything in. Every ounce of love, support, every atom of appreciation he felt, he was allowing it to happen in the safe of his dressing room, no prying eyes there to watch one of the most vulnerable states he’s been in besides his love.

He looked up from where his head was in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Her heart broke when she saw his face. Watery eyes, splotchy redness covering his cheeks, and pink pillowy lips damp from him flattening them into his mouth. He crawled over to her without a second thought, resting his body from his waist up on hers, twisting to bury his head into her neck, the tears falling at an even more rapid pace.

“Bunny, ‘s the matter?” YN asked, her lips pressed to his sweaty mop of curls, pecking soft kisses to his head.

“‘M jus- I dunno, I jus- I feel so loved, and I feel selfish that ‘M leaving them when they’ve given me everythin’ I have… I jus- It doesn’t feel… right?” He let his insecurities float around in the stale air of the room, wincing at the quietness that seemed to amplify now that he let his thoughts roam free, thoughts that he knew would now spill into his girlfriends.

“You— Harry, you saying that is more selfish than you leaving. Baby, do you know how long we’ve been on tour? Truthfully, do you?” She asked, a look of confusion blatant on her face as she pulled his head from the crook of her neck.

“I- no, time doesn’t really… ‘M not good at that stuff, Lovie.” He hung his head in shame and sadness.

“H, we got Peach in May of last year when she was a kitten, a few months before we left, and guess what, H? She’s stayed with Mum and has had babies, and my sister had her baby in June, a week before the tour started, and he’s turning two this year. So many things have happened, Baby, you’ve just been so caught up in this tour that you aren’t allowing yourself to see them happen,” She whispered, knowing he needed a little ounce of tough love in this moment. “You have to let yourself rest.”

“‘M so tired, YN.” His voice cracked, and she felt the tears begin to whir behind her eyelids.

“I know, I know baby, I’m so tired too, but you can rest now, my sweet love. It’s time for us now. You can— we can rest, and we can go anywhere y’want. We can go home, if you want, or we can stay at the villa, even. It’s just— it’s time for you to rest.” She allowed herself to get emotional, wanting Harry to know that he wasn’t in this alone.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered. “I don’t… I don’t deserve you, at all.”

“Bunny, you deserve more than me. You deserve everything that’s good in this world, sweet boy, and I kick myself every day that I can’t give that to you. I love you more than I can even explain, Harry. You’ve changed my life and have saved me, time and time again.”

Harry shook his head. “There’s no one above you. You’re it for me, I swear on it.”

“I know, H,” She smiled down at him. “I feel the same way. I always have and always will.”

“Can we go home?” Harry asked sweetly.

“Of course we can, Baby. Wherever you want. I love you.”

[seriesxwriting]

Giving in to you

W stiles stilinski

𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮- 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 (𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫)

Series- tw (teen wolf)

Paring- stiles and McCall fem reader

Warnings- kissing, t-shirt removing, swearing, um cliff jumping??

Summary- you can’t tell stiles how you feel. He’s your brother’s best friends, surely he wouldn’t even look at you twice. But on the anual camping trip you realised that he’s struggling to not give in to you just as much as you are him.

———————————————————————

The anual camping trip. It was that time once again where me, my family and a few family friends all packed up the cars to the brim just to camp out in a cold, boring woods. Needless to add the fact there was no wifi or electricity, even working toilets didn’t accompany us on the trip. I knew it was going to be a weekend of my mum trying and failing to catch fish, stiles and Scott ditching me, made up camp fire stories and uncomfortable sleeping.

Still, i couldn’t get out of it. So here I stood with my hands on my hips biting my lip trying to figure out if my orange, wonky tent was supposed to be wonky or if it would fall down and suffocate me in my sleep. I guess that would be a way out of the trip. 

“Y/n- that doesn’t look right” my brother observed as he walked over holding his backpack with one strap on his shoulder. “Yeah.. I was just thinking that” “you didn’t pull the strings tight enough” stiles chuckled joining us, he began pulling the strings out the ground. “Pass me the hammer” he pointed to my hand with a smile. He was so cute.

Shut up y/n, that’s your brothers best friend don’t be selfish he wou- “hellloo? Earth to y/n” stiles called out pulling me from my day dream. “Shit- here” I passed him the hammer and using his strong muscular arms pushed it into the ground making my tent look somewhat normal. “Thanks” I smiled when he stood back up. “Well i don’t want it falling on us when we’re asleep” he laughed giving me the hammer back. When his hand touched mine I felt electric sparks fly off.

“Us?” “Yeah, my tent was wrecked so Scott said i could just crash with you guys” stiles explained looking down at it. “Not a- problem Right?” “N- no no not at all” I practically shouted feeling nervous, stiles looked at me with one eye closed. It felt like it was just us here, even though everyone was clanging around us. “A-are we okay? I dunno it’s just felt like you’ve been a bit off with me recently” stiles asked turning to look at me once more.

Yeah because I realised I liked you more than I’m supposed to, more than I’m allowed to. “Yeah we’re fine of course we’re fine” “good- good, your the last person I wanna fall out with y/n” stiles told me lowering his voice as if we were talking about some secret drug deal that was about to go on. You’d think Scott would be the last person he wanted to fall out with, right?

I couldn’t tell if he was flirting EVER. He was quite hard to read. It was stuff like this that he said to me that made me fall for him. I wonder what he was thinking. “No we’re- fine, Im just- I don’t really like these trips so I’m a bit off I guess” “why don’t you like them?” He wondered with a little laugh. “Because- I’m in the middle of the wood with no phone and I stick to my mums side like we’re magnets because there’s nothing else to do”

“What? There’s loads to do why don’t you ever come with me and Scott to explore and mess about?” Stiles jerked his head back in shock, my lips pressed together looking at stiles. “I didn’t get an invite” “yes you did, I always tell Scott to ask if you want to join us- always”. I took a second to swallow that information. Fucking Scott. I didn’t want to bate out my brother but that had really pissed me off. “Maybe I wanted an invite from you” I shrugged softly smirking still holding eye contact with the boy.

“Did you now?”. I hummed in response keeping my thoughts a mystery, stiles let out a breathy laugh breaking our eye contact for a second. His cheeks turned slightly pink almost as if he was nervous. “Well you’ve got an invite, trust me i wouldn’t turn down spending any time with you”. I watched his eyes carefully, so when I saw them flick to my lips I knew for a fact he was thinking what I was thinking. We gave each other a look both knowing exactly what we were both imagining right now.

“Stiles! Come help me with the air bed” Scott shouted over from the famous jeep breaking the tension between us. Stiles looked across at Scott and then back to me “you coming?” “No I’ll leave that to you men” my hands shot up in defence and a laugh tumbled out of my pink lips. “The quicker it’s done the quicker we can get away from camp” he wiggled his eye brows at me before his arms stretched out and pressed down on my shoulders.

Stiles turned me around and walked me over to Scott as I giggled and tried to escape his grasp. Us three on our own carried the bed into the tent and managed to blow it up to an adequate level of comfortableness. After that was done we filled the tent with everything it needed, that being the flasks, the cool box, blankets and pillows and our bags with some change of clothes and activities to keep us occupied. It was much more fun doing it with stiles and Scott instead of just my brother this time.

“It looks perfect, shall we set off?” Stiles looked to Scott who had gotten comfy in one of the chairs. He had a flask of tea and a pink flowery blanket sprawled across his lap. But that didn’t matter, he was the alpha he could do as he wished with no questions asked. “Yeah sure, let’s go that way” he pointed behind our tent “mum, we’re going off to have a look about” Scott called out grabbing his mum’s attention, she stopped her conversation with Noah to wave at scott.

“Alright hun, will you bring some sticks back with you for another fire” she pointed to the pan sitting on the chard sticks. “Yeah will do, here y/n you can finish my tea” Scott said clearing making the assumption that I wasn’t coming with them. “She’s coming, just leave your tea there it will still be hot” stiles explained pointing at the ground. Scott’s eyes flicked towards me. “Come on” I told him with a sarcastic smile knowing he didn’t want me there. “Fine” he muttered putting his drink down in the grass and bouncing up, heading into the woods.

Stiles turned his head to give me a soft smile and nodded me along. He waited until I got to his side and then we followed scott into the woods. “I shouldn’t have worn shorts and a crop too, these mozzys are killing me” i snarled slapping my leg trying to kill the blood sucker. “Gonna have to disagree, I like your outfit” stiles shrugged lightly looking down at me “this is just stuff I usually wear nothing special” I giggled shaking my head.

“I know, I remember when you wore that top to school because the boys wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it all day long” stiles rolled his eyes. What was going on. “I-m sure they were just- messing around” “i don’t care either way they shouldn’t have been saying it they shouldn’t have even been looking” stiles told me in a much more serious tone making my heart pound against my chest. “Stiles it’s really not that deep” I shook my head making my hair fall into my face. “It is to me” I heard him mutter under his breath.

“Why” “Because i couldn’t stop them- no one, I couldn’t stop their thoughts about you i couldn’t stop them looking at you” he told me stopping in his tracks making me stop too and look directly into his baby brown eyes. Was he jealous? No that couldn’t be it, couldn’t it? “Because you’re not mine and that felt shit”. I blinked at the boy towering over me as the air pulled its self out of my throat and my heart nervously pumped out of my chest.

“Guys! Come check this out!” Scott yelled from up ahead. “We should- go” stiles began walking putting a defensive wall up between us. I watched him walk off for a few moments before I made my own move. I was so confused. We trudged through the sky scraping trees before we got to a clearing and there stood a huge lake with a sort of waterfall coming down from some rocks. “Looks like fishing is on the table” Scott told us as we took in the view. “It’s beautiful” “yeah, beautiful” stiles agreed, but when I looked across at him he wasn’t looking at the view. He was looking at me.

“Let’s go see if there’s any rocks at the bottom of the water, if there isn’t we should be able to jump in” Scott wriggled his eyebrows up and down. He bagan to wade his way in after removing his top. Stiles copied throwing his top onto the the floor and removing his shoes. I had to grit my teeth together so my mouth didn’t hang open or I started drooling. Scott turned around splashing at stiles beginning a water bending fight. “There’s no rocks over here” stiles called out ten seconds before he disappeared under the water.

“And it’s pretty deep too” he yelled when he came up for air. His hands ran through his hair and the moment felt as if it was played In slow mo. “Come on y/n, climb up” stiles shouted as he began pulling himself out the water onto the rock formation. “I don’t really- like hights!” I yelled back across the water. “Don’t be a baby!” Scott cackled as he climbed up behind stiles. I let out an annoyed sigh before taking off my shoes. I went round so I didn’t have to get into the water.

When I reached the top the boys were lying on the grass laughing and panting. “I won! I beat the alpha!” Stiles howled out and he fist pumped the air. “You got out first” Scott laughed shaking his head while standing. He looked down at the water before backing up. “Your just jealous j-e-a…” Stiles chuckled sitting up with his legs dangling down. Scott whizzed past us cutting stiles off, taking a large leap into the air and then plummeting into the water. I gasped covering my mouth but relaxed after I heard a splash and then a very excited scream come from my brother mouth.

“Come On” stiles looked my way laughing a little. “I’m not sure sti” I chewed on my lip looking down. “Do it with me then” he told me pushing up off the floor. “You can close your eyes if you have to” he leant his head to the side playfully “come on I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, you just have to hold on” “fine” I rolled my eyes trying to hide my smile. “Get on” stiles tapped his back, slowly walking over I held onto his shoulders and then jumped onto his back. He caught me tightly holding me against him.

“You okay?” He asked gently turning around to me, my chin was resting on his shoulder so our faces were now inches away from each others. “Y-yeah” I gave him a breathy answer. “Good” he answered looking at the side of the cliff that we were edging towards. “Stiles i don’t….” And with that he leaped far off the cliff. I felt the air rushing past my whole body. I couldn’t breath. And then we hit the cold water. Letting go of stiles I splashed about panicking, but I felt a hand on my wrist pulling me up to the surface.

“You okay?” Stiles laughed attaching a hand to my hip bringing me towards him so I was sturdy until my memory of treading water was triggered. “That was fucking awesome! Let’s go again” I rushed swiping my wet hair out of my face. Stiles left out a laugh throwing his head back, I looked at Scott who was looking at us suspiciously. “You coming?” I quizzed pulling instantly away from stiles and swimming to rock wall. “Yeah” Scott nodded. And that’s what we did for what felt like hours. Messing around in the water.

On the way back we collected some stick for the fire but it was pretty hard as the moon was coming up and our source of light was no more above us. When we got back to camp our food was ready, apparently Noah got tired of waiting for us and went off to get sticks himself, so we now had a surplus of sticks. We told them about the body of water we found and surprise surprise my mum said we can go fishing tomorrow. And as if somebody was reading what I was saying, the camp stories began after dinner.

“Dad you didn’t see a ufo on one of your calls” stiles rolled his eyes laughing. “Were you There stiles? No, so how would you know what I saw?” Noah raised an eyebrow at his son who still didn’t believe him. “We dunno what’s out there” Scott shrugged looking up at the stars. “We’ve seen things that no one else would believe” “yeah but… aliens?” My mother chewed her lip nervously, clearly frightened of that idea. “I think I’m going to go and get comfy, if I don’t come back out Goodnight everyone” I smiled pushing up from the fold up chair.

“Night sweetheart” my mum beamed at me. I unzipped my tent, it was quite big it had two compartments one for sleeping and one for living in. I spent what felt like hours sitting in the corner with a blanket reading my book before I decided to get changed into my pjs for extra comfort. I climbed into some gym shorts and I was just about to put my top on before stiles stepped into the tent. “Shit- shit I’m- sorry” he swallowed nervously turning around quicker than I’d ever seen him move.

“It’s just a bra stiles” I laughed shrugging it off while trying to find the top I wanted. “No I- should have knocked” “we’re in a tent” I told him feeding my head through the hole and my arms after. “Where is everyone?” “Everyone’s in the car listening to some music, most of the adults are drunk” “as per, You can turn around now and stop complaining” i sniggered while zipping up my bag. “Oh that wasn’t me complaining, that was me respecting you- and boundaries” he said when he looked back at me. “Well next time Don’t be so respectful”.

Stiles watched my smirk from the floor as he tried to figure out what I meant by that. “Don’t start something because I will finish it” stiles told me as flick of excitement flashed in his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean by that- I don’t know what you mean half the time” I scoffed looking at him with my y/e/c eyes. “Stop it because I’m trying so hard here…” he sighed looking upwards. “Trying hard to do what” “keep control- but that’s not something I have when I’m around you” he admitted. I was bored of messing around.

I needed to know what he was thinking, what he felt. “Then give in, why are you trying?”. Stiles looked back down at me hungrily, I saw the exact moment he gave up the control. He darted towards me lowering to my level. I knew exactly what was about to happen. Stiles latched his lips onto mine holding my face close as if he didn’t want to let me go. I pulled myself up so my body could be closer to his and an arm went around his neck, my hand pleasantly found his hair. “I’m so fucked” stiles whispered against my lips.

I kissed him harder “Why?” “Because I’ve lost control now and I have no intention of trying to get it back” he told me pulling away for a second to look at me. “I don’t want you to get it back, this is what I want stiles” I whispered before pressing our lips together again. The boy pulled the top off that shouldn’t have been put on in the first place and then he lowered me to the ground kissing me again moving his tongue into my mouth.

“Stiles is y/n asleep i w…” scott pulled open the tent door. His eyes locked with mine before stiles’s seeing him over the top of me wearing no top. My face instantly turned red, stiles didn’t exactly get off me either because of my bra being on show.

Scott’s eyes flashed red.

———————————————————————

for more like this visit my⬇️

Masterlist

[kaigachuu]

I'll share my opinion with you for a minute because nobody else will hear me out on this one like you might...

Kaigaku is well written in terms of him being selfish and greedy, which really helps represent true villainy. He's not my favorite, but I can still say he's a pretty decent villain.

(still don't like him for hurting my boy gyomei but again, he's a villain)

im hearing and im loving any kaigaku content ever

his character is really well written and while im not gonna try to make you like the guy, im gonna ramble because i felt like it and you dont need to read it lol

its easy for me to like the guy becasue i like the ones with the tragic backstory i guess i dunno how to explain it. i like zenitsu and sanemi too that might be it. i think its funny that he fucked up not one, but two characters lives heheh... im not defending him and his actions but he did it all for survival yknow?? let the demon at gyomei an the kids so he could live, became a demon so he could live longer, did whatever he could for survival. kokushibo was gonna kill him if he didnt accept that offer, and he probably learned to only fend for himself becasue he grew up how he did. probably nobody stood up for him before and he just had to like. do it himself

[rhunsui]

That side character i said yesterday was.....

The one,

The only

*drumroll*

Not Spooky...

But

Bruner!

Yep, hes the 'certain side char' that literally no one was waiting for!

Now you definitely are not thinking, Why Bruner? Well, im gonna tell ya whether you like to or not! Cuz you can skip anyway! Theres a TL;DR by the way...

(TL;DR is 'too long; didnt read')

Anyways, the reason that the certain dude is Bruner is cuz he's actually part of the lore! Not a big role, but he kind of plays a part in Helly's past.

Wondering why? You probably arent, but, yk how in the pilot episode of RoboPoli, Bruner was supposed to be part of the rescue team?

Now, in the RPTA, its normal for students to drop out due to the inability to keep up, not everyone's a rescuer!

Im not trying to say that he was an ex-rescuer, im trying to say that when Helly was still RPTA (Rescuer Preparation and Training Academy, ill talk about it in a diff post), One of Helly's coach's mentioned something about Bruner being a past-student there but dropped out.

But Bruner was different, Bruner was doing just fine in the RPTA, he was good at the training, he could keep up. But one day, he just.... left.

Bruner's only explanation about his dropout was, 'Rescuing isnt for me.' After that, his whereabouts were unknown, they thought he went back to his hometown, unfortunately the academy had no info on Bruner's family to know if that were true. So of course he would be remembered by the trainers and coaches of the RPTA.

The way Helly knew about Bruner was like what I said, a coach mentioned Bruner at some point and Helly just so happened to remember it. Bruner was also a common example that the trainers used for the students. What i mean by that is the trainers record their students, Bruner's recordings were usually used and sometimes they would tell the students a bit about Bruner. There is also a file of Bruner somewhere in the faculty room...

Enough about the RPTA, I'll be telling you about Bruner himself!

Bruner was actually very popular during his RPTA times, which kind of the reason he's a lil selfish and loves praise. Honestly, he was probably popular cuz he liked to sneak away to private places to play ball...

Now as to why he dropped out, its because he never wanted to be a rescuer to begin with!

Yeah, he didnt wanna! So why is he even IN the RPTA to begin with?

Well, thats because of his family tree!

His fathers side of the family is a whole line of rescuers, so Bruner was forced to become a rescuer to keep the family tradition going.

Bruner always wanted to be an architect/builder, so when he was forced into training his entire childhood to get accepted, he obviously hated it! Sure, everyone in the academy was nice, but being a rescuer was not what he wanted to be! He may like the attention rescuers get, but he doesn't want THAT much attention, it would be too much for him!

So by the time he was 18, he dropped out of the RPTA to run away and pursue his dream.

The place he ran to, the one and only Broomstown of course! However, his family does not know anything about Bruner's whereabouts... The only ones who know are his cousin's (Aka, Bruny's) family which is on his mother's side. Bruner also got most of his genetics from her side. Bruner trusted them because it was his auntie and cousins that played builder with him, and they didnt care about what Bruner would be, they also promised not to tell!

So thats it, Bruner's story! I guess he's kind of the only one with a proper backstory... But hey, at least he has one, ya know?

Heres the TL;DR -

Bruner used to train to be rescuer, didnt wanna, ran away to Broomstown and his family dunno except cousin's fam (Bruny). Helly heard of Bruner cuz trainers talk abt him sometimes back when he (Helly) was in training.

[transgressivegirlification]

sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman

i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist

i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~

but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)

i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine

femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo

and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.

but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?

i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)

i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)

tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty

[joopacabra]

maaann hate to subject the blog to my loathsome text walls again but I feel a bit shitty and whining it out to the internet void makes me feel a bit better as usual

I guess things have been too alright lately so my brain had to tell me “you’re being too comfortable again buddy” resulting in a pretty unfortunate episode earlier, but im alright now,, at least mellowed out, on account of pictures of bunnies and being comforted a little bit,

I don’t really think I should go too deep into detail about by turmoil right on the blog,, but man just, people are difficult duuude.. and it’s just me, nobody’s done anything to me or anything I mean , it’s just kinda my head,,

I’d like to think I made friends but I fear it’s selfish of me to do so despite how realistically stupid that thought is, and in turn I feel bad that I feel that way, so it kinda ends up a yucky loop in my brain ,, im not sure if I ever could really shake this kind of thought of my brain, even if I’ve been shown nothing but kindness

I dunno how to articulate it, I think im yapping a bit too much anyway,, this socializing thing is rouuggghhh.. despite how badly I want it, I can’t help but consider that if I never tried, i would be alone, but I wouldn’t feel this way either,, which makes me feel pretty terrible.

that’s enough of that probably though,, I’ve been trying to figure out the character for my bunny princess a bit more and im kinda getting leads,, im trying to figure out what voice I’d associate with her, or if I should make up a new one maybe.. otherwise, nothing I can share really much yet though,, not very much in the drawing area either, it’s been kinda exhausting to try lately ,,

apologies this is a pretty yucky wall of text, but nobody sees it much anyhow, and it’s just for me to get it out a bit ,, I consider that I should maybe delete these sometime so it doesn’t clog up my blog maybe but I dunno,

if anyone is seeing this though, I hope you’re having a very good day,, if you’ll accept it, im sending head pats through the screen <3

[octoooo]

Its 3am and I might be talking nonsense but like,,,

Pokémon heights make NO sense to me anymore.

So I’m scrolling through the Pokédex, seeing which ones give Hashira vibes, and I see Weavile.

Weavile to me always seems like a gremlin, a little 3’0 ankle biter y’know.

WHY IS WEAVILE 3’ 07 (1.1m)

That’s not awful just a lot taller than I expected.

That’s not even the worst part

LURANTIS IS 2’ 11 (.9m)

LURANTIS LOOKS LIKE A BEHEMOTH OF A POKÉMON (at least 5’8 in my mind for some reason) BUT ITS 2’11?? SHORTER THAN WEAVILE?

In Pokémon S&M we actually see a Lurantis next to Ash & his friends, and it’s exactly their height! Which means that the Pokédex lied OR Ash is a 2’11 10 year old kid.

Lurantis is actually taller than he is now that I’m looking closer,,

To be fair I believe that was a Totem Lurantis which I guess could explain the larger size. But even then I dunno if can we trust the anime over the game data when it comes to heights (or general knowledge sometimes) ?

Also Nidoking (another behemoth intimidating pokemon in my mind) is 4’7 (1.4m)

I

I’m just

Im 5’1

How am I taller than these pokemon ? (Weavile I expected to be taller than)

Anyway im going to ignore that Lurantis is tiny for selfish reasons. I need it to be taller than Weavile for something.