#i dunno if i should be tagging all these cartoons and characters but i can because I will

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #18: the prologue (briefly) and meat p1

----brief context----

i sorta fell out of homestuck a little after i finished it and its november now but in light of james roach reviving homestuck beyond canon i figured i might as well get the ball rolling on this. i originally started this post in september but i couldnt find it in myself to continue reading due to not liking where the story was going and also finding myself having a new hyperfixation

----end of context----

september 7th:

okay im gonna make a rule that this shit show thats about to happen is NOT CANON to me and in my head they won and then they created earth c and they all lived happily without any of this inane bullshit thats coming up.

ok to start off look at these fucking tags dude oh my god this is gonna be so BAD man what the FUCK did they do to these characters

theres no art which actually sucks! but with these tags maybe its good they didnt show this in images. instead they just describe it in excruciating detail. anyway, here's the first character interaction in here.... they both feel different. even in this brief exchange, something feels... off. maybe its just cause theyre older but they feel distinctly more... angsty? maybe they just seem sad. i dunno. homestuck has its sad moments but for the most part the characters arent like. sad people

/rolls eyes yeah i like the reference but not in this context...

ok so rose just explained what john has to do which is go back into canon and defeat lord english but.... this is really fucked up man . she knows

meat or candy.... fuck which one should i read first.... do i wanna be sad sooner or sad later ... MAN the epilogues SUCK!!!!! FUCK

um okay this is really gross. what is the point of this?? like EW john what the fuck

ok this is fine i guess i mean i like davekat

i guess i also like how he still has this weird obsession with obama

november 10th:

im back . but i think updates to this series will be slower. i need to ease myself back into it yknow? also. if i hadnt made it clear. i DO NOT LIKE the epilogues. especially because homestuck proper is my FAVORITE MEDIA OF ALL TIME. seeing the characters i love ruined like this in what is the most official capacity it could be in is.... just. sad to me. anyway. dave predicts the future about obama . cool.

yeah i do too man. cant have shit around here

yeah like. what even is this plot. jane has become this evil xenophobic cartoon ass villain. and everyones just like. damn thats crazy that shes just like that now. i also dont even understand WHY she wants to be president of earth c. like literally everyone else is just chilling. god whatever

brother he is not coming back

also, this has nothing to do with the epilogues per se. but at the time of writing this tomorrow will be 11/11. i am a little bit expecting a homestuck beyond canon updateeee hehehe . also burning down the house which is a really really good homestuck fan comic is supposed to update too. so awesome. hopefully both of those things happen. or even like. just one. anyway back to this slop

casual dave xenophobia classic dave you know how it is he would definitely be like this for real i believe this

man this would be so cool if it was like. drawn. i wish i could see it instead of having to envision it in my minds eye. not that i dont appreciate my minds eye for what she has to offer me but. imagine this what this panel would look like

noooooo FUCK

stares at you furiously judgementally

okay both of them most likely dont know shit about shit and neither do i but dave at least grew up in a time where there were people around and things happening and dirk thinks he knows everything but he actually doesnt know anything so i wouldnt trust him on fiscal policy

fym nuh uh

average teen roxy adult john interaction

literally down ontologically at this point

blah blah blah ultimate self blah blah evil arc WHO CARES. im bored. can i say that. i seriously D. GAF about dirk rn. monkey d. gaf

bro i fucking HATE JANE. LIKE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW

i dont have much to say about this i just thought it was worth putting here

nah. cause what the hell are you talking about girl. hello. why is she so horny. ong bro u gotta relax

okay well. this is pretty funny . hes dave and im karkat and we are the denial brothers

youre so intolerable is crazy. like hes trying to help you because you are bleeding tf out girl

wow. jane jake kiss. this rules. SAID NO ONE EVER. jake is asexual. jane is a nazi. and I. AM TIRED. OF THIS!!!!!!! I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING .

wait fuck

marvel ass dialogue

NOOOO WHAT THE FUCK

okay this is the end of the first epilogues post. initial thoughts i dont like it why did i do this i dont wanna do it. but you know what they say in order to ascend first you must descend. little homestuck reference for you all. um idk when the next post will be im sorta busier than i used to be. and also? this sucks i dont like reading it

[haloburns]

I posted 23,071 times in 2022

204 posts created (1%)

22,867 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@who-is-page

@ruffboijuliaburnsides

@tukoism

@dp-marvel94

@roundaboutnow

I tagged 1,885 of my posts in 2022

#danny phantom - 115 posts

#the world is having more fun than me tonight series - 94 posts

#ecto writes - 91 posts

#ecto fics - 88 posts

#my fics - 72 posts

#my au - 35 posts

#ml spoilers - 31 posts

#the batman 2022 - 26 posts

#strike back spoilers - 26 posts

#my writing - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#nor did the fact that i could already read do me any favors bc i was like immediately singled out and elevated to the 1st grade reading cla

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag others. No skipping!

thanks for tagging me @roundaboutnow !!

i'm gonna use my invisobang playlist that i can't share the title of yet. it's my fav right now.

1. same direction - hoobastank (honestly hoobastank fucks)

2. getting away with murder - papa roach (a classic)

3. be my escape - relient k (my beloved)

4. make it stop (september's end) - rise against (this song makes me cry)

5. until the day i die - story of the year (a perfect ghost light song, ive had it on all my songs)

6. for you, and your denial - yellowcard (oh this song fucks too. the violin man. the violin.)

7. last night on earth - green day

8. saying sorry - hawthorne heights

9. devil in the mirror - black veil brides (this song is so good for this fic...)

10. give it all - rise against

@redead-red @jadenoryuu @omnicrafts (share those crossover playlists babe!!) @floralflowerpower @bibliophilea and anyone else that wants to join in!

31 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#4

with every sin, i still wanna be holy

Dan wants to be better. But that means dealing with his past (future?) actions and starting to make amends and acknowledging how he's hurt these people in his life. It's hard than he'd like to admit. Part of the the world is having more fun than me (tonight) series.

Lancer,

I dunno why I’m writing this. It’s stupid. I’m not even gonna send it. You don’t even know who I am! Clockwork did his meddling with time bullshit so you don’t remember me.

No one remembers me

You were my favorite teacher, yknow. You were the only one who actually gave even a little fuck about me. All my other teachers wrote me off as just another dumb lazy kid. No one knew of course.

Oh I guess I should tell you. I’m… Danny Phantom. Sort of. It’s a big mess of things, but Fenton is Phantom. That little punk Weston kid was right. That's why I missed so many assignments and always fell asleep in class. I promise I wasn’t a bad kid, Mr Lancer.

I guess I just needed to tell you who I was. So you would be understanding or some shit. Maybe so I wouldn’t feel like I failed every adult in my life.

Whatever. It’s not like I’m sending this anyway.

Dan

Read more letters on AO3!

40 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#3

hey look at that! another redraw!

i wanted to work on style and some other things, so i redrew my avatar (again). the first one is literally just the screenshot, and then the second one is Pissed Off Ghost King™ Danny. that one was more to fuck around with ectoblasts and some other stuff. also i designed a crown!

some more stuff below the cut!

here's a version without the blasts bc im vvv proud of how these hands turned out, considering the weird ass proportions of the cartoon. big thanks to @friendly-neighborhood-imbecille for those hand ref sheets 👉🏼👉🏼 u the realest

See the full post

44 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#2

GUYS

GUYS LOOK

my friend @i-think-in-metaphors did this amazing commission for me!!! i redid the phantom planet statue for my au, and wrote a scene for one of my upcoming works where mateo gets to see it in person. i finally got tired of imagining it and wanted to see it.

and the product. is. GORGEOUS. it's so perfect. i'm in love. i'm gonna cry about this for the next 30 years. LOOK AT HIM.

(click for quality.)

check out her commissions!!

the scene it's based on is below the cut!

Excerpt from quit telling everyone i'm (permanently) dead! (wip)

The black zirconium statue was larger than life. It towered above them on two separate, stepped obsidian pedestals, each about five-feet high. As Mateo moved closer, he could see something glittering in the bases. Danny mumbled something about ectoplasmic ice mixed into it, stronger than diamonds, but Mateo thought they looked like stars. He figured that was the intention. It was gorgeous.

He tilted his head back to take in the actual sculpture. That Danny was twice as large as the one standing next to Mateo. He felt his heart lurch a little at how serious Danny looked, the tight furrow over his brow, the determined set to his jaw. It all made him look so much older than even now, even though Mateo knew he was only sixteen when the statue was made.

The statue’s zirconium white accents were blinding in the late afternoon sunlight, and Mateo found himself shading his eyes as he looked up even higher. The hair on the statue was shorter than Mateo had seen Danny wear his, probably closer to the length it had been when he was in high school. It was swept back heroically, as if moved by an unseen wind, and the sun glinted off its sharp edges. It made the whole statue look as if it were glowing.

Crystalized ectoplasm made Phantom’s eerie green eyes, and they glowed too, though Mateo figured they probably glowed under their own power rather than a trick of the light. The statue’s eyes were trained on the thin, steel-wire Earth he cupped protectively close to his chest; it was a promise as well as a remembrance. The world remembered what Phantom did for them, and he promised them he would do it all over again if necessary.

65 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

this is the road to ruin (and we started at the end)

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!

(click for way better quality)

Sam did this amazing cover for me and I literally can't stop staring at it. I'm making it my phone background like immediately. Here's their post, go give it a reblog!

prologue: without you, there's no reason for my story and chapter one: fading in the afterglow are live right now!

i'll be posting every SATURDAY starting this saturday 9/3! we got seven more chapters to go, lads, so buckle up!

71 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[winterscaptain]

mom.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: shoutout to aimz for affirming this version of this fic!! i had an image the other day and had to sit down and write it. thank you for your patience as i took a little break this week. 

words: 1.2k warnings: none!

summary: “mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heartthrob.” — leroy brownlow

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

Before you leave the room, you hear Jack call out for you in a small voice. 

“Yeah, bug?” You turn, leaning on the door jamb.

“Can you come back here a minute?” 

You nod and cross the room, kneeling at his bedside. “What’s going on buddy?”

He looks nervous, but you wait him out. He spends a few moments shuffling in bed, wringing his hands, generally looking a lot like his father, but then asks, “Can I call you Mom?”

There’s nothing but static in your brain. 

Recovering quickly so he doesn’t feel rejected, you grab his hands and kiss them. “Can I talk to your dad about it? I want to make sure he’s okay with it.”

Jack nods, but to your relief, doesn’t look disappointed. “Yeah.” 

With a kiss to the top of his head, you tell him you love him. 

+++

As soon as Jack’s asleep, you try to settle into bed, but the photo of Haley on Aaron’s dresser just stares you down and eats you alive. You shake your head and strip, jumping into the shower before it's even warm. 

+++

When Aaron steps into the apartment, it’s quiet and dark, save for the sound of the shower and the sliver of light arcing into the living room from the master bedroom. 

He drops his briefcase at the door and loosens his tie on his way across the room and down the hall. 

Pausing when he gets to the door, he listens. 

Is that….are you?

Crying? 

He trots into the bathroom and finds you behind the glass shower door, curled into a ball under the water. He toes off his shoes and steps into the tub to crouch in front of you, still in his suit, unfazed by the water. “Sweetheart?”

“I can’t be her, Aaron. I’m not her. I’m not his mom I’m not -”

“Stop,” he says. “That’s enough.” He pauses, taking a breath. “Did Jack ask if he could call you mom tonight?” 

You nod and curl further into yourself. “I can’t be her.”

He gathers you into his arms, the shower still running, and says, “You don’t have to. He’s not asking you to be her. He’s asking you to be something you already are.”

You sniff and lean back, looking at him. “What?”

“Come on.” He stands and brings you with him, reaching past you to turn on the water. “Let’s dry you off and get into bed.”

+++

After hanging his suit to drip-dry, he finds you in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. He closes all the doors, turns the lights off, and sits beside you, pulling you up to rest against the headboard. 

You’re both still wet and without clothes, but that doesn’t matter. 

“I just...I froze, Aaron. I didn’t know what to say but I didn't want to scare him so I told him I had to talk to you about it first.” 

He traces your arm with his finger as he talks, grounding you. “That’s okay. I told him you’d probably say something like that.” 

“What?” You lean back and your brow furrows. “You what?”

A little smile crosses his face. “You think we haven’t talked about it? Honey, he’s been asking me about how to ask you for weeks now.” 

That basically takes all the wind out of your sails. “Oh.” 

If you’re honest, you feel a little stupid. Jack’s not the kind of kid to just do things out of nowhere. He obsesses and second-guesses and asks his dad about everything, so the very idea that he asked you out of the blue is as ridiculous as it is out of character. 

To your surprise, Aaron laughs a little. “Don’t feel stupid. I thought it would be a nice surprise for you, but now I’m realizing I probably should have warned you.”

“That might’ve been nice.” 

You can feel his smile when he kisses your temple. “I know, but I wanted him to feel...I dunno. Confident?” He pauses. “But, that’s not the point.” 

You look at him, a little confused. 

“How do you feel about it? I would understand if you’re not comfortable or -”

“No. I’m…” You trail off, feeling a little bad for interrupting him without really knowing what you’re going to say. “I’m comfortable. I just…”

Your eyes wander to the photo of you and Jack and Haley again. She still smiles at you out of the frame, just as she always has. You shift your attention to the one beside it - the one of Haley and Aaron on their wedding day, the one you insisted he keep up after he made an attempt to put it somewhere else after you moved in. 

He breaks your attention with a tap on the back of your hand. “Do you want to talk to her?” 

“What?” 

+++

With a certain degree of amusing theatrics, he threw on a pair of pajama pants, snuck into Jack’s room, and stole the little candle they use to “talk” to Haley. 

When he returns, he lights it, hands you the picture of her from 1997 at the Space Needle he keeps in his wallet, and walks out. 

“Hi Hales.”  

+++

You’re asleep when he returns, the photo loose between your fingers and the candle long out. He watches you sleep for a minute before gingerly tucking you in and slipping the photo back into his wallet. 

+++

The next morning, he hears you and Jack on the couch, talking quietly, but not so much so he can’t hear from the hallway. 

“...I’d love nothing more, my love.” 

“Did you talk to Dad about it?” 

Aaron hears you hum and kiss what he thinks is the top of Jack’s head. “Yeah. I talked to your momma, too.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. You know how much she loves you, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

There’s never enough time for Aaron to really consider how lucky he is. He doesn’t just have a partner who loves his son. He has a partner who loves the mother of his son. 

A partner who understands the weight of “Mom” in the Hotchner house. 

He finally rounds the corner to find the pair of you curled together around a plate of fruit, watching cartoons one low volume. 

“Hi, Dad!” Jack says, grinning up at Aaron. “Mom and I are starting an old show called Tom and Jerry. Wanna watch?”

You suppress a smile as Aaron scoffs, “Old,” and sits beside you, tucking the both of you under his arm. 

You turn to press a kiss to the side of his chest. “I love you.” 

“I love you too...” He kisses the top of your head and says, just for your ears, “...best mom ever.” 

+++

tagging: @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @jdougl-love @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @qvid-pro-qvo @mandylove1000 @jeor @roses-and-grasses @word-scribbless @bwbatta @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @joanofarkansass @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @ssahotchnerr @this-broken-band-girl @winqhster @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @the-falling-in-the-danger @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @baumarvel @kerrswriting @messyhairday-me @ssworldofsw @deagibs @crazyshannonigans @moonshinerbynight @jhiddles03 @teamhappyme @mendesmelodies @starsandasteroids @unicorn-bitch @ambicaos

[fakeloveaskblog]

Yay lasertag!!! Janus you should totally go visit Remus on the weekend and hang out! Also, maybe invite Remy too, if they wanna come. Then (specially if they don't show) you can plan with them both to maybe go on another hangout with Remus but to somewhere you like and let Remy tag along for the ride if they wanna while u're at it.

(Words: 3153 words)

Janus: "Ah yes! I will let you know that after hanging out with Remus I managed to use my incredible totally very good texting skills to ask the Rems if they wanted to go to an art museum and they both for some reaosn, maybe they are being blackmailed, said yes! I hope it will go g-"

He cut himself off as he saw the two Rems come towards him. He had been waiting outside the museum. (Honestly half the reason he had choosen it was because he knew Remus liked art)

Remus waved at him while grinning. He had on sweatpants, a way too large t-shirt and a necklace made out of animal bones. Remy had their arm swung around him. Even though they had sunglasses on their eyebags were still visible.

“Aight gamers! Are we ready to do an epic art heist!! I got my sunglasses ready!” Remus exclaimed. He didn’t, he was planning on stealing Remy’s sunglasses.

“Partner you’re forgetting that we must first observe the security measures of the museum before we can even start to plan the heist” Janus replied.

“Oh!!! That’s what we’re doing today isn’t it??”

“Correct partner!”

“Babes I dunno why you gotta steal art when I’m standing right here” Remy added while posing.

“Good point. Good point” 

Janus had on a yellow bowtie he’d gotten from Logan, a loose purple shirt and black dress pants. People had to look fancy when they went to museums right? Remy had a skirt short enough to fool god and their boyfriend’s hoodie on (it looked oversized on them but with how skinny they were Everything looked oversized on them).

As soon as they got in Remus started to bounce up and down as he looked at the posters showing all the different exhibitions. There was a modern art one, classical and one smaller exhibition for specifically mosaic works.

“So whatcha you wanna look at Snakey?” Remus asked.

Janus was caught of guard “Why are you asking me?”

“Well you chose how we would hang out. C’mon you deserve to choose this too”

He looked over to Remy who shrugged “Uhm okay. Well. The classical paintings would proably give us the most money on the black market so lets look at those”

“Yay!” 

Remus quickly took on his noise canceling headphones and a chew necklace before doing thumbs up. He firmly took Janus’ hand in his. He sent him a soft smile which made Jan’s heart spin before dashing of with him into the exhibition.

A few big paintings from the renaissance hung on the wall. Remy came a little later since with the cane they walked pretty slow. Remus eyed the paintings from a distance before squinting at them up close. He flapped the hand he was hoding Janus with around.

"Oh!!! This is so cool!!!! This is from the renaissance but it's not using the chiaro oscuro technique like everyone did 'cause Da Vinci would eat their newborn if they didnt!”

"Is that why it's looking flatter than me?" Remy asked.

“YEah!! Augh I love the renaissance!!! Mostly because they were dissecting bodies so much!! sometimes for the sole purpose of drawing anatomy better!! I wanna do that! Or watch someone do that! Getting to see one of those old classrooms where they dissected corpses would be so awesome!”

“Huh good way to get rid of bodies. Great time for serial killers” Janus commented.

He let out a dreamy sigh “It truly was. They’re doing serial killers dirty nowadays”

They went through some more rooms of renaissance paintings. Janus made sure to hold Remus back a bit so Remy could keep up with them. The duke kept rambling about different shading techniques.

They stepped into another room and the style changed. Remus continued to flap his hand nonetheless. Janus was definitely going to have pain in his wrist tomorrow. It was worth it if he could hold his hand though.

Remy leaned their elbow on top of Janus’ head “This is like the baroque time right?”

“YEah!” Remus’ eyes went huge “Bean you didn’t tell me you were into art history??! Do you know about Ruben too?? I like how he paints butts!”

“What? Nah. I just- I can like see it on the clothes in the paintings. Can’t you?”

“Do I look like a time traveling fashiong guru” Janus replied sarcastically “That is honestly impressive”

Remy sunk in on themself and a hint of red appeared on their cheeks “No. Nah. I’m like a total airhead! Completel idiot! hehe I’m like tots sure everyone knows this stuff. Y’all are just bad at fashion. I uh anyway Rem you were gonna rant?”

“I was?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh....Okay!!” He looked around the room before getting caught on a small painting in the corner. He dashed over to it “HANds!”

The painting depicted 2 bloody hands over a table. They were holding onto each other. the red stuck out against the dark background. It was hard to see if they were supposed to belong to two people who were fighting or in love.

Remus looked down at Janus’ hand while playing with his fingers “I think my favorite body part are hands” He mumbled “I mean they’re horseshit to draw but they can do so much”

Janus looked away from the painting as well. He let his crush do whatever he wanted with his hand as long as he kept holding it. the way he held him so lightly but kept rubbing his thumb up and down his skin made him melt.

“Yeah they can do a lot of fucked up shit” Remy butted in. Jan nearly jumped. He’d completely lost himself in adoring his crush.

“Well hands can also be used to give snakes small berries! And to make coffee!”

“Girl I wasn’t starting an argument. But you sure did won it!”

Remus was staring down into the floor as he said “When I become a cannibal I would wanna try eating human fingers first. I’m sure they would be tasty”

“Why was there a when in there?” Jan asked in a small amount of terror.

“Oh yeah babe totally. I will like actually eat a dick” Remy agreed.

“Why is there a will in there? What kind of time tenses are you people on?? Does english grammar mean nothing to you heathens!?”

Remy got a smug look on their face. They poked their finger right into Janus’ chest “C’mon say what you will eat when you become a cannibal”

“Yeah Snakey” Remus squished his cheeks “Say it! Say it! Say it!”

The two of them kept going on while Janus looked like a sour lemon until he finally caved in.

“Fine. I would either eat the stomach or....the buttocks since they would have the most fat and sustain me the longest”

The Rems looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. “He said butT!” Remus cackled out. The other Rem nodded along and pretended to wipe away a tear from laughter.

“Aight babe let’s put the guy out of his misery” 

They motioned for Remus to go ahead. He happily skipped into the next room and grabbed Jan’s hand to take him with him. The snake couldn’t help but notice how Remy stayed behind for a monent.

“Oh cool!! We’re onto impressionism! The first real art style!” He sighed “From impressionism to cartoon furries. How magical the journey of art is” 

(Jan who had a scaley phase in high school chose to not reply)

“I love the music as well. Crazy lads. My favorite lad?” Remus snickered “De bussy!!”

“That’s my porn name” Remy instantly replied, coming up behind them. “Hey that paint lady kinda like looks like Terra” They pointed at a painting.

“....Hey YEaH! I guess my art is timeless!”

Janus looked between them “who’s Terra?”

“Well girl” Remy playfully ruffled Remus’ hair “She’s just Rem’s tots cool like cartoon character. She’s like all over his sketchbook. Makes it look kinda straight if you ask me but she does have like a very cool design so I get it!”

“Oh......Yes...Sounds very....cool”

The group kept going around looking at art. While it felt like lead was filling Janus’ chest. He’d never heard about Terra. He’d never seen his sketchbook. Meaning they had spent time with each other without him.

He pierced his nails into his palms to stop the thoughts. He refused to be some jealous person who didn’t allow his friends to hang out without him.....Still he wish he could have seen the drawings as well....seen them smile together...heard their shared laughter....

Oh. Oh what if they thought he was annoying. What if they preferred being without him. What if he’d forced them to come here today. What if-

“Hey snakey wanna look at the modern art as well?” Remus interrupted.

“What?” 

Without realizing they’d gone through all of the classic art. Now they were in the last room with not much more than a giant painting the size of one of the walls and a bench.

“That sounds horrid!”

“Yay!”

Remus quickly continued of into the next exhibition. Janus still had the taste of lead filling his throat as he went to follow. Until he realized Remy wasn’t there. He turned around and saw them sitting on the bench in front of the painting. They were leaning their arms on their cane.

“It would probably give us a lot on the black market” Jan said while sitting down beside them.

“Mhm. It’s pretty. I just like wanted to look at it some more” They lied.

“Understandable” 

The painting was pretty much a big flower field with a summer sky shining down on it. Janus noticed how Remy forced deep breathes through their gritted teeth. Their brows were furrowed and their hands kept shaking.

“Are you alright?”

“Of course!” 

“I have some painkillers with me. Would that help agains the pain you’re totally not in?”

They glanced over to him “Girl what you doing walking around with painkillers?”

He looked at them with the most deadpan expression “Remy I’m overweight. You can not phantom how often I get knee pain" He took out a pill and held it out to them "Here"

"There's really like no need! I can like handle it"

Even more deadpan "You shouldn’t have to ‘handle it’. It's 1 painkiller dear. I'm not exactly becoming a saint because of this"

They hesitantly took it "Thanks"

He did fingerguns "No problemo"

They stayed sitting for a bit so the pill could kick in. Jan shuly glanced over to admire them every now and then. Remy kept looking down into the floor while picking at their skin.

“I’m sorry” They said it in a much quieter voice than their usual high pitched one “I tried to do everything right so I wouldn’t ruin everything. I even went to bed early so I wouldn’t get tired....I...I really looked forward to getting to be with you two”

Janus heart beat faster. He pulled himself together to comfort them “You haven’t ruined a thing”

They hid their face in their hands “I’ve been tired and out of it all day. I keep like slowing you down. Don’t think I haven’t like noticed how much you have to hold Rem back from going faster! I’ve just been making this all much worse than it should have been”

“Well you’re here aren’t you? I for one appreciate you simply being here. You don’t have to do anything to make me appreciate you, don’t even have to talk. I hope you know that”

“....really?”

“Oh no darling I totally expect you to win the nobel prize while in a kind of pain I can’t even imagine being in on a daily basis”

Remy chuckled “Thanks”

“There’s really no need for that. I am at any and all times doing the absolute minimum to be counted as a decent human being”

“Sure snakey-babey” They had a soft smile on their face.

They moved to hug him. Their arms wrapped around his back and they muffled their head right between his man titties. Janus sat still for a few seconds, too flustered to think before moving his arms around them as well. A hand on the back of their head, another on their lower back. Their skin felt so cold against his.

Remy closed their eyes and let themself calm down. They could feel Janus’ breathing against their hair.

“I think my fav like human part is the chest” They mumbled out “‘Cause I can hear the heart beat. It reminds me I’m- we’re still like alive”

“Like a bloody biological seashell”

“Exactly” They pressed themself closer. “I like being with you” It was nothing more than a whisper, like it was a secret “When you’re here I feel a bit less like a rotting corpse”

Janus held onto them harder “Well I-I try my best”

“I know babe”

His heart was beating out of his chest. The people around them must think they were a couple. He closed his eyes and focused on Remy’s touch, on Picani’s words from their last session. He managed to push enough of the shame away and focus on the happy butterflies in his stomach instead.

Remy moved away. The moment broke.

“We should probs go find Rem before he starts like eating the art”

“haha yeah” Janus did thumbs up but kept sitting. He’d gone full idiot.

It wasn’t until he saw Remy straining to stand up even with the cane his brain kicked back in.

“Is there some way I could help?”

They didn’t answer. But they did lean their arm around his shoulder to let him carry some of their weight. They slowly but surely made their way to the modern art exhibition.

Remus was sitting crosslegged in front of a weird statue, he was doodling in his sketchbook but shone up into a smile when he saw them.

“There you are! I was starting to think that either the zombie apocalypse had started or you were making out somehwere”

“Oh yeah babe. Full tounge” Remy joked back. Jan let out an inhumane noise.

He closed his sketchbook “I think we’re done here. You’re looking tired beanie. We can come back some other day”

Remy held back the urge to lie that they were fine. Instead they weakly nodded.

The gang left the museum. Right beside it was an ice cream shop. Remus got 3 scoops of a worryingly weird mix of flavors. Janus got 1 scoop of lemon. Remy didn’t feel like eating.

They sat down on a couple of benches right outside. Remy laid down with their head leaned onto Remus’ thigh. He chewed his ice cream while calmly moving his hand up and down their back.

Soon enough they were deep asleep. Janus quickly laid his jacket over their legs. He didn’t want to accidentally see anything under their skirt without their consent.

Remus stared at him like a blood sucking eagle while smiling “Soooo now when beanie is in dream land.......Do” He stopped to giggle “Janny. Janny. Do. Do you like someooooonnneee??”

Janus just blinked at him for half a minute. This was too much. This whole day was too much. He was a wreck. His crush was asking him THis?! While his other crush was laying in his crush’s lap?!?

“Why- Why- What- Who are you working for?! The fucking FBI??? Are they after me?” He desperately tried to joke it away.

“No. No. But seriously JanJan!” He wiggled his shoulders around in a stimmy way “Do you happen to like anyone with a name that starts on R????”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Janus kept glancing between his two crushes while his blushing could be seen out into space. He wanted to lie but his mouth wouldn’t move.

Remus leaned closer and whispered “You’re into Remy right?”

He nodded. A breathe of relief went through him. At least Remus didn’t know he liked him.

“OH I KNEW IT!” Remus yelled out in excitement while flapping his hands.

“Shh! Shh!” Janus scrambled to cover his mouth as Remy stirred for a moment. “Shhhh!” They cuddled closer to their friend and fell back asleep.

“I knew it!” He giggled “Or I mean Remy knew. They told me they thought you were into them”

“WHAT?!” 

Now it was Remus that covered his mouth. He was full on cackling “Yeah! They said it was really obvious! But good for you snakey! I’m sure if you murder their boyfriend you can get them in no time! Or you can become a fab homewrecker!! I can help you buy a nice sexy dress and all!!”

Janus paled in terror “How- In- What- In what way did they say it was obvious?”

“Oh y’know-”

The notif on his phone went off. He checked and his eyes went wide. He carefully moved Remy’s head onto the bench before standing up.

“Sorry snakey! Ro needs super duper emergency help! Gotta go!! See you later! Don’t die!”

Remus left him just like that.  Right after dropping THAT bomb on him. Janus sat unmoving. His mouth was slightly agape in shock. His thoughts were runnig around screaming nonstop.

He sat like that for over 20 minutes until Remy let out a yawn and slowly woke up. They took off their sunglasses to rub their eyes. Just seeing their vibrantly green eyes made Janus panic even more.

“Did Rem disintegrate?” Their voice was hoarse from sleepyness. Janus pinched himself to hold back the uhm feelings.

“He- he uh he went he went he sure did went yeah”

“....Cool!”

They stretched their joints, they all cracked. They looked to Janus and moved closer. He couldn’t breathe. They knew. They knew. They knew.

“Girl are you feeling okay?” They pressed their palm to his forehead “You’re like super hot. In both ways! Maybe you should like go home and rest. I gotta get home before my boyf gets home anyway”

“Y-yeah” Was all Janus could get out.

“Cool. OH! By the way! Girl!!! We haven’t like hung out just the two of us right?? We should tots do that! Just like tell me whatever you wanna do and we can do it!”

“Yeah”

“Awesome! Well I’ll see you on that hang out then”

They hugged him for just a few seconds but for those seconds Janus felt like he was in heaven.

They got up and left. Janus slumped over on the bench. His heart was going crazy. They knew. They knew and now they wanted to hang out alone with him. He turned to you. His eyes were wide and panicked.

Janus: “W-what am I supposed to do? I don’t know any good hang out plans! Do you know any??? I’m- this is all- how did they even know I like them! Oh I’m sounding like an overdramatic 13 year old.....This totally isn’t really overwhelming. I would hate getting Logan cuddles right now!”

[nostalgic-pancakes]

you look bizarre, in the apricot

Summary: Thomas Sanders and Nico Flores VS The Town of Night Vale: An Epistolary from the outside.

Pairings: Pintoverts, Cecilos and Gen friendships otherwise

Read on AO3

Word count: 976

Warnings: Unreality, reality being really weird, sparsely described body horror. I am not as good of a surrealism writer as Min, this is my first foray even remotely into the genre, but I hope to make more stuff like this sometime! Stay Safe

Other notes: For Min! hope you enjoy <3

Tagged: @sometimes-love-is-enough

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Joan: u there yet?

Me (15:03): yes!! Sending a photo real quick

Me: (IMAGE.png)

[Image description: Thomas and Nico, both fairly suntanned, facing the camera with some parts of their faces awkwardly cropped off. However, it’s easy to see that they are both grinning wildly in front of a new house, reminiscent of fifties suburbia behind them, with a small pile of boxes near the door.]

Me (15:94): we’re gonna be unpacking now

Me (15:94): byeeeeee!!

Joan: Wait what’s up with your clock thing?

Me (15:95): dunno looks fine to me

Joan: yea prolly a glitch

Joan: see ya

…

Google Search History:

What foods cause hallucinations? Should you listen to hallucinations? Should you listen to hallucinations of fictional characters you created? Should you listen to hallucinations trying to help you? Why are writing objects banned in night vale Why does internet explorer work better in night vale Internet freaking explorer why Night vale Night vale news What is wrong with night vale What are the secret police

delete history?

...

“And now: Traffic.

Today on traffic, as we can see, the formerly fictitious aspects of a newcomer’s personality, Mr. Thomas Foley Sanders are currently running amok, amongst the many vehicles in today’s commute. However, Thomas is a rare case of someone who has enough internal strife that he feels the need to regularly bring out his aspects. For the rest of us, we either live in blissful, absolute ignorance, or neverending guilt.

Props to Mr. Sanders for trying to find his way through the deceptive caverns of the conscious and subconscious mind, but I would really rather get into our real traffic report, instead of talking about the state of vehicles in the city. This is boooooooring!”

...

Call history:

Joan Sticks (45:15) Tally (28:10) Nico my beloved (10:59) Joan Sticks (10:12) Joan Sticks (1:19:34) Nico my beloved (11:102) Carlos ? (???) Carlos The Scientist Palmer (???) Carlos The Scientist Palmer (???) Cecil Palmer (???) Cecil Palmer (???) Cecil Palmer (???) Nico my beloved (???) Patton (???) Logan (???) Virgil (???) Roman (???) Janus (+Remus) (???)

…

Group Chatroom with: Joan Sticks, Tallycat, Nico my beloved

Nico: @Joan @Tallycat I think something’s wrong with this town

Me: yes why is there a secret police

Me: why

Me: frickin w h y

Me: and the sides? Real

Me: i have pictures!! Evidence!!

Me: [IMAGE.png] [IMAGE2.png]

[Image Description 1: the sides and Thomas in a large cuddle pile. They are toppled together and making obvious contact, with fabric becoming creased under contact points.]

[Image Description 2: The Sides, Nico and Thomas are cooking together. It is going badly.]

…

EXISTENTIAL CRISES! | Sanders Sides

“And for today’s sponsor, we have a minor switch! Today we are sponsored by Big Rico’s Pizza!” says Thomas, a bunch of pixels on hundreds of thousands of screens.

“Now in two more flavors- one with vegan pepperoni and cheese, for anyone to enjoy, and of course, for all our eternal scouts, void. Simply void .Nobody does a slice like Big Rico’s! No one.” Thomas seems surprised at his own nonchalance at what he’s saying, but he gets a thumbs up from a hand just barely in camera view, and continues.

“Anyways- go to the checkout, enter the promo code thomassandersAAAAAAA and order some Big Rico’s Pizza today! Now, on to the episode”

Comments (3,030)

CosmicAce 1991 Why is the last thing on Thomas’s twitter from a month ago and WHY IS THIS VIDEO SIX MONTHS LATE?

Berry-Blast Ngl love the hugging- care to share a process reel? Aren’t Joan and Talyn too far away to work on this anymore? Let's Go Ghost When are we getting a new cartoon therapy?

Patton-Patoff WHERE ARE THE CORNERS?? THIS DOES NOT WORK WITH GREENSCREEN?? HOW DID THEY JUST… DO ANYTHING IN THIS VIDEO??

Minute Where is the checkout? Can’t find it. Also hi nico!

Cecil Jaws Stan All hail the glow cloud

DreadfulZombie19 These existential crises are… uncomfortable to say the least. Thank you for at least adding trigger warnings. Speaking of which, where are the SVS redux epilepsy warnings?

…

Google Search History for: Joan Stokes

Plane tickets to night vale Plane tickets to night vale, usa Which state is night vale in Where is night vale Driving map to night vale What is a delta airlines flight 27 Why is my friend from night vale acting so weird Night vale radio How to get friend out of night vale

…

Sanders Jaws! @ThomasSanders

Video is going to be delayed by about a week- Tuesday got cancelled, you see. No worries! As soon as it’s back, there will be a new Cartoon Therapy!

Replies

Min-Ding-Ding-Ding @arealsword Hope Tuesday’s doing alright

I really like flowers @sodoroses

What is actually going on is Thomas okay what is happening

…

Using Gravity Falls to cope with strange events in life! | Cartoon Therapy

Comments (1,048)

Minerva

Dang wonder what’s been going on.

…

Call transcript: Thomas Sanders, Joan Sticks, Nico my Beloved (xx:xx:xx)

“But here’s the thing- it used to be really scary-”

“Terrifying.”

“Yeah, but now? I guess we just have an all-powerful glow cloud (all hail) on the school board.”

“And we also have a sentient hand as my swimming coach. She’s cool.”

“How- How are you so cool with all this?”

“Stockholm syndrome?”

“I mean, the sides are real people here, so I get to have my crises off camera for once, which is nice.”

“Joan!!!” “Joan!” “Joan <3”

“One sec guys, I’ll give you the phone in a minute!”

“Okayyyyy” “How did Roman pull off pronouncing the heart emoticon?”

“Don’t ask me.”

“Well, if you’re happy…”

“Don’t worry too much about us, buddy. We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah! Carlos and I are going to be at a Slap-Poetry contest against Thomas and Cecil!”

“Mmhm. Well, goodnight then. Love you both.”

“Love you too!”

“Yeah! Love you too, Joan!”

[butchbarneygumble]

Got tagged by @lucky-lacmac ! I always grasp the chance to talk about my comfort characters so HERE GO They vary depending on hyperfixations so I'm going with what comes to mind rn and thus they're not numbered wheeeeeee Prohyas Warrior (Mighty Magiswords)

I just. I was just smitten by this guy from day one. I was in Florida, caught the first episode on TV. Wasn't too enticed by the show yet, but soon found myself dreaming of the characters. Gave it more of a chance when I was back home, and eventually got way too into it and it moved from Background Noise to Hell Yeah I Love You!!!! The show in general brings me so much joy but something about Accordion Man just... speaks to me. He insist he's manly and has a killer bod, but he's also openly fond of cute things like dolphins and lil bugs and is super motherly. I just love when characters defy gender expectations. And I love his design, his attitude, his voice, the sense of humour he brings, and that hair, man. That hair Sends Me. He's probably one of the reasons I dyed my hair blue.... not to mention both he and Vambre are just unapologetic manchildren who just try to have fun with their job and adult life. I really relate to that and wish CN would do more cartoons about that. I'm tired of children protags jhckgfgs

honestly every character in this show gets comfort character vibes from me (just please give vambre a break with the hornyposting she deserves so much more) and the fact it has like no fandom at all is criminal

Conker (Conker's Bad Fur Day)

Imagine if you will, I was 6 years old or so when Bad Fur Day released. I had no knowledge of it until my dad bought it for himself from the bargain bin in a local Intertoys that is now gone. Playing it through a bit (sneakily) my mom caught me JUST at the moment he threw up during the opening cutscene. I cried out of secondhand embarrassed, mom consoled me and it went into storage until I was 13 Then I found footage of the Great Mighty Poo on Youtube and snuck in that damn game again. Now, I had actual knowledge of English and as a teenager, the concept of an adult game was just very exciting. I fell in love with Conker, but in a different way a lot of people do. I see him as a normal guy who's just having a really weird day and his greed ruins his life. It's poetic, and I want to hug him a lot. But also slap him for being a little shit. He was there for me in my strange teenhood, when I was exploring adult subjects when I probably shouldn't, but it's been good all the way through. Probably my gateway into the furry fandom as well. As an adult I find myself enjoying the non-edgy stuff more - and it reflects in the fan material I produce of Conker. He is still very important to me and I love him a lot.

Barley Lightfoot (Onward)

Rarely was there ever a character I could point at and be like "me." Girls in animation were always just... There, or very girly to a point I couldn't see myself in there. Surprise, surprise, Renée, you're not even a girl!!! Barley is one of those characters that I saw myself in. I do not have a sibling, but sometimes do wish I had one - and live vigorously throughout media portrayals of them. He is me as my best self - supportive, loud, clumsy, outwardly scary but otherwise just trying to do the right thing. He's one of those "Do I want to date you or do I want your gender" types. Ian is a good boy too ofc, but Barley to me is especially personal. His choice of fashion and body shape, right down to his big jawline, I feel mirrors myself. However, where both Lightfoot bros shine is that I share the experience of having "half a dad".

When Barley and Ian were going through the underground river and he was talking about the last memory of his dad, I saw me. I cried buckets. My dad was diagnosed with ALS somewhere around when I first read about Onward's development, and when I saw it with him he was already paralyzed and wheelchair-bound. He was smiling all the way through. Fergy Fudgehog (Viva Piñata)

Lilshit. Absolute trash animal. Why do I love you so much? I dunno. He's kind of awful. Whereas originally characterized as a scaredy-cat who hated the idea of parties, he eventually got flanderized into a nasty little so-and-so who would sell his own adoptive brother if it meant he could get a snack out of it. When he's not that, he's a whiny manchild. Yet he entices me. His colour pattern, and my fondness for hedgehogs... him making weird noises a lot. I like him enough to have had a role play account for him for a while that's still around!! Sometimes you don't know why you like a character and that's okay.

Luigi (Super Mario Bros) Mario (Super Mario Bros)

When I was 12 I first got into Mario. And I don't mean playing the games and enjoying them, but actively into the characters, lore, and stories... for as much as you can say Mario has story. Mario and Luigi are just such pleasant looking characters. They shouldn't be cute but they are. They were my first crushes and recently I've gotten back into it and I'm just here for it. Mario and Luigi are cute and I should say it!!!!!I legit find them attractive, physically and mentally. Also shipping Luigi with Peasley gives me happiness and I hate teenage me for having bad taste and hating it.

Donkey Kong Diddy Kong Dixie Kong

Donkey Kong is the Absolute, the Eternal. He has always been there in my life, and so have his games. Something about that ape makes me feel comfortable and happy and I just want to hug him. I love the lore of the games, the aesthetics - toony-yet-realistic, and it influenced the HELL out of my own art style. Donkey Kong is just a Cool Soft Gorilla who WILL kick ass. Diddy and Dixie were also super influentual to me. DKC2 is one of my most favourite video games, starring two of my most favourite characters, and my favourite aesthetic... though, in a fun case of chicken-and-egg situation, I dunno if my love for pirates came from DKC2 or other way around. Lars Barriga (Steven Universe)

Babby's First Gender Envy When Lars' entire arc happened, I was in college, constantly trying to discover myself. I enjoyed the character before the arc but the arc just elevated my love for him to the stars. He's just a fella, so nervous about what other people think about him... later in the show you get an insight on why he's like that. Then, he's dragged to space, forced to confront his emotional constipation, Fuckin Dies trying to save his new friends, and is brought back to life as a badass pink space zombie. Something about that just vibed with me super strongly. And how Steven always saw the good in him even if he bullied him. I love him so much. I love them both. That's the main ones! I tag whomever wants to do this I'm bad at tagging jdkfghjd

[al-pomegranate-seeds]

The hands they held

“Roman looked at the flower shop that set itself across the street from his tattoo parlor. How weird. He was almost sure the building had looked as boring as the other empty buildings in the street when he closed the shop the night before.The front of the small building was not as covered with vines and flowers that surely didn’t grow together as it was now, of that he was certain.“

Pairings: Logince, DLAMP in later installments

Urban fantasy

Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Genderfluid Logan Sanders, Flower Shop and Tattoo Parlor au(but make it magical(not the first one to do that but I feel proud))

Warnings: Food mention(it’s Roman listing out some food and then they mentioning it after some times)

Characters: Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders, Dot(Cartoon Therapy)

Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705440

Roman looked at the flower shop that set itself across the street from his tattoo parlor. How weird. He was almost sure the building had looked as boring as the other empty buildings in the street when he closed the shop the night before. The front of the small building was not as covered with vines and flowers that surely didn’t grow together as it was now, of that he was certain. The visuals were right up his alley, though, just the right amount of dramatics one needed in their life to make it interesting. A big sign sat on top the glass doors, displaying the name “Berry’s Flowers and Herbs”.

And then, as he was lost in thought admiring and trying to see if he recognized any of the flowers, a man almost as tall as Roman himself, with deep brown hair and brown skin, wearing a simple black polo with jeans and a gardening apron, opened the door and put up a sign saying “OPEN” in dark blue letters, before turning around and inspecting the streets, and then looking directly in Roman’s direction and – holy shit.

Roman was in love.

Before we continue telling the story, let’s lay down some facts about our current favorite boy. First, Roman and Remus’ mother was an elf. Second, elves, besides a long lifespan and a somewhat inflated ego, have better working eyes than most humans. Which is how, even a street away, Roman could notice the beautiful sharp angles of the man’s face, the gorgeous silver shade of his eyes behind his square glasses, and the adorable glittering freckles that covered his face, his neck and his arms.

Roman kept gawking at the glittering man like a fish as he went back inside the shop and closed the glass doors.

“Ooooh, sweet, that’s closer than where I buy.” Remus’s voice sounded suddenly, startling Roman out of his daydreaming.

“Oh, cool.” Roman said automatically, before turning to Remus, who was cleaning his hands with a rag. Roman decided to simply not ask how he had gotten them dirty. “Hey, Rem.”

Remus imeddiately squinted. “What the fuck do you want?”

“What? Can’t a man just call his bro by a nickname to show his brotherly love?”

“You do that by calling me Trash Man, you only call me Rem when you want something, what the fuck is it?”

“Oh I wasn’t going to ask for anything, I was just going to ask if, I dunno, you maybe needed some more ingredients, maybe the ones you have are running out or something, I could maybe go pick it up for you...” Roman trailed off.

Remus just kept squinting at Roman for another 20 seconds, before flicking his eyes to some point behind him. Roman turned, only to see the man from before pushing a table on wheels with flower vases to the front of one of the big glass windows, before going back inside.

Roman could tell he was staring as the man went back inside, and when he looked back at Remus, that shithead smile was glued to his face like a dry face mask.

“Oooh, you got a cruuuuuush?” Remus said in a sing-songy voice, and Roman didn’t even have the energy to pretend to be mad, so he just kept staring at his brother’s face. “You know, now that you mention it, I think I’ve used up all of my marigolds, and I’m close to running out of rosemary...”

Roman immediately perked up. “So maybe, your very selfless and very helpful brother could pick some up for you?”

“Ah, yes, my brother who has no ulterior motives besides being helpful, of course.” Remus said, grabbing one of the sketch books before ripping out a page and writing something down. “Ok, there’s more than just what I said, I need some alyssum and some chrysantemus and some dandelions...”

“Ok, noted.” Roman said, grabbing the paper and scanning the list without actually reading it. He already remebered only the dandelion out of the flowers Remus had mentioned.

As Roman was heading out by the door, Remus screamed “Use protection!”

“I’ll murder you!” Roman screamed back cheerily.

He wasn’t prepared to enter the shop.

As soon as he step foot past the door, he realized the air felt different. It wasn’t exactly pleasant or unpleasant, but it was distinctly different than the air around human populated cities. Roman was almost sure he could hear little bells, and it felt like the air was caressing his skin. The walls were covered in shelves with different plants displays, the floor was a magenta and indigo checkered tile with golden edges that somehow managed to not be obnoxious, and the ceiling was entirely glass with golden metal swirls. The space was well lit, all of the flowers in perfect display.

“Salutations.” Sounded a voice, and Roman immediately looked back to the counter that sat at the back of the store, behind which he could see the glittering man and wow, he was even more beautiful up close.

“Hello there!” Roman said, managing to hide the fact that he felt distinctively out of breath at the sight that laid before him, which he wasn’t completely sure wasn’t a hallucination.

The man’s glittering silver freckles were even more visible from this close, and Roman could also see some that were smaller, less glittery but just as breathtaking, and he also noticed that the man’s hair also glittered slightly.

“...Can I help you?”

“Oh. Oh! Yes, yes, my brother sent me to buy some flowers, and-“ he started before realizing he didn’t actually know what to say after. “...and here is the list. With the flowers.”

He dramatically handed the list over to the man, who simply grabbed it and started Reading. A couple seconds passed before he raised an eyebrow.

“A...Kiss?”

“Whut. Wait.” Roman hastily grabbed the paper and quickly scanned the list, eventually finding the “kiss” item with a heart dotting the i. “Oh, that motherfucker knew I wasn’t going to read it, I swear this is just a prank – “

“Not to worry. Let’s simply ignore this and I’ll grab the flowers.” The man said, and set to do just that, quickly scanning the shelves and putting the flowers in clear plastic rolls.

Roman managed to stay silent for about five seconds.

“So, I don’t remember seeing the shop here yesterday.”

The man seemed to be startled for a bit, before answering “You wouldn’t have, we moved in during the night.”

“Hmm.” Roman hummed before looking for something else to say. “We?”

“...Yes. Me and my parents. My mother and I run the shop.”

“Oh, marvelous, so it’s a Family business! You know, me and my brother run the tattoo parlor across the street, we do tattoos with various magical properties. You should come visit, my name is Roman, I use he/him pronouns, and my brother is Remus, he/him pronouns too.”

“...Logan. He/him today.” He – Logan – said, turning to the dandelions. “Are you always such a conversationalist when buying flowers?”

That made Roman pause.

“Oh, um, I hadn’t – Am I making your uncomfortable?”

“Not to worry, I am simply not used to such...Friendly customers. But this is pleasant.”

Roman sighed relieved.

“I am not opposed to visiting your parlor, if you’ll have me.”

He simply smiled.

“Well hello there!” Roman said, opening the glass doors and spotting Logan behind the counter, like last time.

“Salutations, Roman. They/them today.” Roman nodded, leaning on the counter.

“So, how’s the day going for you, Specs?”

Logan went a few moments without answering, probably because of the nickname. “Pleasant enough. A few customers have come by. None of them was unpleasant.”

“That’s indeed pleasant.” Roman turned around, leaning on the counter with his hips now, looking around at the shop, and noticing the flowers on his left looked more perfect than a lot of flowers he had seen in his life. “Hey, Logan, did you do something to those flowers over there?”

Logan seemed to perk up a bit. They fixed their glasses before answering. “Indeed. Those are flowers I separate for decorations, I enchant them to stay alive for longer. This enchantment can mess with cooking and potions, however, so I always ask before picking them.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I hadn’t thought of that.” They stayed silent then, Roman zoning out as he looked at the flowers and spun his necklace on his finger. “Hey Specs, how old are you?”

“I – Well.” Logan started, before pausing and thinking more. “I’m forty years old, technically, but I’m a fairy, so I haven’t grown beyond being what humans would consider twenty five to twenty nine.”

“Oh, you’re a fairy?”

“Well, quarter fairy. My father is half fairy, my mother is human. They had me when mother was twenty  seven years old, and I grew up in the same speed as a human until I was around twenty four years.”

“Marvelous. I’m half elf. I’m thirty  four years old, and yeah, basically around that age. I would still be a teenager if both of my parents were elves.”

They stayed in silence for a few minutes.

“Roman, do you...Do you like outer space?”

“Well, yeah.” Roman said, before turning back to Logan. “I don’t know a lot, but I think it’s fascinating.”

“Would you...” They swallowed, then, sounding nervous. “Would you like to hear about it?”

“Of course. Tell me everything you know.”

Logan smiled, then, with barely restrained excitement, and Roman felt like he could listen to them for hours if they would always smile like that.

“Hello there, my favorite nerd!” Roman said, entering the shop with his his arms spread and holding a paper bag.

“Salutations, Roman. She/her today. Do you bring anything besides your dramatic entrance?” Logan said, with a small smile that never failed to make Roman lose his train of thought for a few seconds.

“I sure do, Smarty McSpecson, I bring sustenance!” He laid the paper bag on the counter. “It’s a bowl of goose stew with mushrooms, fruit salad with honey, aaaaaaaand pork filled buns.”

“Sounds delicious. I’ll have the buns.”

“Marvelous! I’ll eat some of the stew. I’ve got homemade mayonnaise too, if you’d like to add it.” Then he went to open the bag.

“Wait. Mother will take over the shop for this afternoon, so I’m free in ten minutes. There is a small kitchen in the back, and I think it would be pleasant to eat on a table instead of this counter.”

“Oh, that would be cool.” Roman said, trying to play it cool. It almost felt like she was inviting him on a date, but surely that wouldn’t be it? Logan was just nice like that. She was also very direct and probably would be forward in asking for a date. Yeah.

“Come on, it’s behind this door over here.” Roman then followed Logan into the aforementioned door, finding a small kitchen that seemed to be decorated with a light yellow color scheme. All the counters and cabinets were light yellow, the counters having white tops, the fridge and the stove were both black, and the floor tile was white. The kitchen was pretty small, only wide enough to fit a small round table and two chairs, and there was a floor to ceiling rectangular glass window behind one of the chairs.

“You can sit down while I get mother, I’m sure she won’t be incovenienced to come down ten minutes early.” Logan said while getting some plates and bowls from the cabinets, then laying them on the table.

“Ok. I’ll be here waiting.” Roman said, sitting on the chair facing the window. He may or may not have been thinking about how gorgeous Logan would look framed by the window and the plants outside.

Logan stepped into a door that led to a white staircase, leaving Roman to think and analyze the small kitchen.

Now that he had the opportunity to pay attention, he could notice little things he hadn’t noticed when he first entered the kitchen : the white countertops were stained at some spots with some sort of colorful pigment, there was a black paper on which someone drew constellations with white crayon, and there was a clear glass cookie jar filled with dried flowers on one counter.

About five minutes later, Logan came back with who Roman assumed was her mother, a chubby, dark skinned lady with short black hair wearing a beige argyle sweater over a white button up and beige skirt, plus a pair of red glasses and bright red lipstick. He noticed Logan seemed distinctly more glittery around the face.

“Oh hello there dear, you must be the famed Roman!” The lady said, rushing over to him and grabbing his hands. “I’m Dot, this one’s mom, I’ve heard so many things about you – “

“Mother...” Logan said with a warning tone, her voice not managing to hide her embarassment.

“Oh Logan talked about you so much, you’re every bit as handsome as she described – “

“Mother!” Logan exclaimed, and now her face was shining so much it looked like it was encrusted with tiny gems. Roman was almost hipnotized enough to not realize that was probably her way of blushing.

“What? It’s true! He’s as handsome as sherpherd pie!” Dot responded, and Roman was as confused as he was flattered.

“Mother, that’s not – forty seven years of marriage, and that’s what you pick up of father’s vocabulary?” Logan said, bafflement not being able to hid the awfully fond tone of her voice.

“Oh don’t pick on me, you know I’m telling the truth.” Dot said, before looking at the shop. “Oh dear, I better get started on that shop running thing.” She said, before kissing Roman and Logan’s cheeks and stepping out into the shop, closing the kitchen door.

They stayed silent froma few moments before Logan sighed.

“I love my mother, but she can be a bit overwhelming. I hope she didn’t bother you too much.”

“Oh, she didn’t bother me at all. So, um, as handsome as shepherd pie?” Roman asked, still a bit baffled by the term.

“It’s an expression father uses. It’s an equivalent translation coming from the faery language my father’s specific nation spoke. It’s a bit outdated, but it was used most often to describe someone the person was attracted to. Of course,” Logan said all of this while grabbing the cuttlery and sitting down on the other chair. She paused while adjusting herself on the chair, before continuing with a fondly amused smile. “she wasn’t hitting on you, don’t worry.” Logan went to grab the pork buns, while murmuring to herself low enough that, if Roman wasn’t part elf, he surely wouldn’t have been able to hear it. “Not for herself, at least.”

“Not for herself?” Roman asked. Logan’s eyes went wide as saucers, and she almost dropped the bun she was holding.

“Oh you – you heard that?” Logan asked, adjusting her glasses (which Roman had noticed was a bit of a tic of hers). Her face, that had gone back to the normal amount of glittering, suddenly was shiny enough that Roman wanted to grab her face and kiss her senseless.

“If it’s any comfort, I only heard because elven hearing is a stronger than humans’. But seriously, what did you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing important, it’s silly, it’s just – mother is certain you have been flirting with me, you see, and no matter how much I tell her she’s being foolish, she won’t quit putting these thoughts into my head, and I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I didn’t even felt like these before but then she mentioned it and I couldn’t stop thinking about how handsome you are and how nice you are and how you made an effort to befriend me when we had just moved in and I didn’t know anyone and I didn’t have any energy to go out and make friends – “ she was rambling now, her speech getting more fast paced and anxious the longer Roman went without saying anything.

Well. She seemed to think Roman wasn’t interested. He had to do something about that.

Logan was gesturing wildly with her hands, moving them up and down in an effort to calm herself, so Roman grabbed one of them in an effort to effectively distract her.

“So,” he said, laying their hands down palms up on the table and drawing tiny circles on the wrist. “I most definitely was flirting. I most definitely think you are very handsome and very nice. And I most definitely think you are as handsome as shepherd pie.”

Logan was silent for a few moments before saying, with a slight breathless note on her voice, “...oh.”

“Yeah.” Roman said, before bringing Logan’s hand up his mouth and kissing the palm.

Logan giggled. She honest to ghosts, real as magic, giggled.

“So,” Roman said, putting their hands back on the table. “do you want to try this?”

“I – most definitely.” She answered, nodding quickly with a smile on her face.

They started eating, then, and nothing changed but the hands they held and the soft smiles.

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors 

[hailing-stars]

@febuwhump day 14 

meddling kids

summary

“Ned, you’re a genius,” says Peter. “We’ll just play some cupid, get them together for real, and they’ll be so distracted we can go back to movie days at the Tower.”

“Because that plan doesn’t have the potential to turn into a big, fucking disaster,” says MJ.

“It’ll be fine,” says Peter. “It’ll be good. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Even they deserve to be happy.”

OR

Peter attempts to meddle in Sam and Bucky’s relationship, and Flash meddles in Peter’s and MJ’s. 

Rain hits the windows of Avengers Tower, and Peter pulls MJ a little bit closer. His eyes are glued to the TV screen, where it’s also raining, and where the two leads in the cheesy, rom-com Ned had switched on argue in the midst of the downpour. It isn’t long before the argument turns to kissing.

“That’s so romantic,” says Peter. That’s really what he’d rather be doing. Kissing MJ in the rain.

“Dude,” says Flash, shoving a fist full of popcorn in his mouth, from where he sat on the floor. “You’re such a sap.”

Peter scrunches up his face. “I’m not a sap.”

“Kind of are,” says Ned.

Peter turns to MJ for help, and their faces are so close, their noses almost brush up against each other. Forget the rain. He’d rather be kissing her now, in the common room, on the Avengers favorite couch.

“You’re totally a sap,” she tells him. “But you’re my sap.”  

“You two are disgusting,” says Flash. “Just get a room and let Ned and I finish watching this in peace.”

Peter doesn’t think that sounds like such a bad idea, and he’s about to say so when he’s startled into sitting up straight.

“Parker!”

He turns his head and sees Sam and Bucky entering the common area.

“Oh,” says Peter. He and MJ scoot to opposite ends of the couch, as if it mattered and they hadn’t already been seen. “Um, hey Sam. Bucky.”

“What is this?” asks Sam, gesturing to the common room. “What have we told you about using the Tower as your own personal clubhouse for you and your school friends?”

“That I’m definitely welcomed to do it?”

“Well that’s one interpretation of hell no,” says Bucky.

Peter could strange both of them right there on the spot. They’re the annoying big brothers he never wanted, and he hates how they only ever agree with each other when it disadvantages him in some way.

“Take your Scooby Squad and scram,” says Sam.

“We’re not the Scooby Squad,” says Flash. He doesn’t take his eyes off the screen, and his hand stays in the bowl of popcorn. “We’re the FlashMob, don’t forget it.”

“We’re not the FlashMob,” says Ned. “We’re the FOS gang.”

“FOS?” questions Bucky.

“Friends of Spider-Man,” answers Ned.

“Meddling kids seems more appropriate,” says Sam. “Parker. Get them out.”

“If we’re the Scooby Squad you’re the grumpy old men,” says Peter, with a sigh. He stands, snatches the bowl of popcorn from Flash, and orders Friday to switch off the movie.

Peter, MJ, Ned and Flash file out the room, listening to Sam and Bucky as their bickering turns towards each other. Apparently Bucky’s chosen spot on the couch was where Sam sits, apparently the throw pillow Sam claims actually belongs to Bucky, and so on.

“I swear,” says Peter. “They bicker more than Mr. Stark and Gerald.”

“Gerald?” asks MJ.

“He’s going through a phase.”

“Well it’s obvious why they bicker,” MJ tells them.

All three stare at her.

“..It is?” asks Ned.

“Come on, guys,” says MJ. “It’s classic. They’re in love.”

All eyes turn back to the couch. They’re both sitting at opposite ends and they both take turns telling Friday to switch the channel on the TV. Doesn’t seem like a very productive war. Peter develops whiplash from just standing off in the background, watching the TV screen flip back and forth between Jaws and some old timey black and white film.

“I bet they just kicked us out so they could be alone together,” she continues.

“Enemies to lovers?” asks Ned, still staring at them, with a tilted head.

“I’d ship it,” says Flash.

“Wish they’d get a room, or an apartment,” says Ned. “So we could get back to our movie day.”

“Ned, you’re a genius,” says Peter. “We’ll just play some cupid, get them together for real, and they’ll be so distracted we can go back to movie days at the Tower.”

“Because that plan doesn’t have the potential to turn into a big, fucking disaster,” says MJ.

“It’ll be fine,” says Peter. “It’ll be good. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Even they deserve to be happy.”

MJ kisses him on the cheek, and links his arm with hers as they march off towards the elevators.

“You really are such a sap,” she tells him, a fondness in her tone that causes Peter to realize he doesn’t actually mind being a romantic so much, not when MJ was the one saying it.

*

Peter leads Bucky down the season aisles at Target, and figures he’s really on his last shot of this cupid business.

He hasn’t exactly been subtle over the last couple of days. Bucky’s already wondering why Peter had insisted on him tagging along on his trip to Target with him.

They pass by heart shaped boxes of candy, and Peter digs through the bin of cute stuffed animals until he finds a unicorn. When he squeezes it, it’s teeth turn pointy and it’s eyes turn mean. It’s perfect.

“For MJ?” asks Bucky.

“No way, man,” says Peter. He turns his attention to the chocolate boxes with cartoon characters printed on the front, and grabs the one with “I got her presents months ago. This stuff is for Morgan.”

“How’s Stark handling Valentine's Day as a father, anyway?”

“He loves it,” says Peter. “He’s a little bit obsessed, actually. He wants Morgan to pass out the best Valentine's cards in her class, so he stayed up all night designing them online and he’s having candy delivered for some fancy chocolate shop in Germany.”

“I don’t think kids really care about fancy chocolate,” says Bucky, and Peter watches as he eyes the boxes of chocolate. His eyes go back and forth between two different brands.

“They don't,” says Peter. “But they do if you bribe the chocolate makers into molding the chocolate into the replicas of famous Avengers.”

Bucky doesn’t respond. All his focus is on the candies.

“What kind of chocolate do you think Sam likes?” asks Peter.

Bucky snaps his head around and narrows his eyes at him. “Why would you ask that?”

Peter shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe we should get him some. It’d be nice.”

Bucky stares at him, and Peter shuffles his feet around, dying to come out with his suggestion that he and Sam should just go out already. That they’ll be a lot happier together, way less grumpy.

“How do you know?” asks Bucky.

“How what?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I don’t have to play dumb,” says Peter. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Come on,” says Bucky. “What’s the deal with you crawling around on the ceiling hanging mistletoe above wherever Sam and I are standing? Or that night you made us dinner and set the table with candles and rose petals?”

“I was just being nice. Who doesn’t like roses?”

“I know you know about me and Sam,” says Bucky. “So quit harassing us, and keep your mouth shut about it.”

“Wait…. You and Sam… are already together?” asks Peter, with a gasp of disbelief. “I was trying to set you up!”

“You didn’t know?” asks Bucky. “We thought you knew and were being an asshole about it.”

“Holy shit,” says Peter. He shifts Morgan’s presents to one hand, and pulls his phone out of his pocket with the other. “I gotta tell MJ.”

Bucky swipes his phone. “You can’t tell anybody. We’re keeping it a secret for now.”

“Fine, fine,” says Peter. “Secret safe with me.”

“No secret is safe with you, Parker,” Bucky tells him, before marching past him, and to the next aisle where he continues looking for Sam’s present.

Peter frowns. He’s got no clue why people think he’s incapable of keeping things secret.

*

Peter manages to keep Sam and Bucky’s relationship to himself, until the day of the Midtown High Valentine’s day dance. And it’s not exactly Peter’s fault. He isn’t exactly to see the two of them in his school’s gym, with linked arms, wearing identical grins.

“You two cannot be here,” whispers Peter. His eyes darted around the gym, at all his classmates, somehow forgetting no connection could realistically be made between Peter Parker and two Avengers.

“Sure we can,” says Bucky. “We’re chaperones.”

“And I’m Captain America. I can go anywhere.”

“I hate you both,” says Peter.

Sam claps him on the shoulder. “Consider this revenge.”

“For what?!?”

“For being annoying,” says Bucky.

“And young,” adds Sam. “And for torturing us with mistletoes.”

“Oh, look,” says MJ, emerging from the crowd of students on the dance floor. “I was right. Who’s surprised?”

“Yeah, congratulations,” says Sam. “Now take your irritatingly observant selves over to the refreshment table, get yourselves some Scooby snacks and leave us to our chaperoning.”

Peter doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s ready to put so much distance between himself and the old, grumpy chaperones. He and MJ are crossing the dance floor when they’re favorite song starts to play, but it’s something else that grabs Peter’s attention.

It’s Flash, standing on the bleachers, holding a lighter up to the smoke alarm.

“THIS IS FOR YOU PENIS PARRKKKERRRR,” he yells across the gym, just as the smoke alarm blares to life.

He’s confused, until sprinklers on the ceiling turn on, and water begins to rain down on the entire student body, soaking dresses and suits and splashing into the probably already spiked punch bowl.

“I guess you were right about something too,” says MJ, with a small smile. They’re standing in the middle of the dance floor, while most others run and duck for cover under chairs or in the hallway, while Bucky and Sam chase Flash around the gym. “This is kind of romantic.”

“I can start an argument with you,” says Peter. He hooks his arm around her waist and pulls her closer. “If you want it to be like the movies.”

“Nah,” she tells him. “We can skip that part.”

She brushes his soaked hair out of his face, and they kiss. It’s every bit as romantic as it is in the movies.

[wntersfire]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG GAME

Before I start I would just like to say (tw alcohol for now and question 19) sorry for any spelling mistakes or if I ramble a little. To cut a long fuckin story short I mis read the measurements of my shot glasses and so instead of having two cocktails I’ve had the equivalent of four in the space of an hour and a half. Being british, im not gonna let a good drink go to waste either so im onto my third/sixth now.

Tagged by @clints-lucky-arrow (an actual goddess among us mortals)

1. Why did you choose your URL?

So this reason is two-fold. One, I didn’t watch star wars growing up because I was dumb and didn’t understand the politics (it wasn’t until my boyfriend sat me down and explained it literally in January of this year that I actually got it) but I loved Sci-fi and space so the next best thing was Treasure Planet (2003 film, Available on didney+) My favourite scene is the ending when Long John Silver (spoilers) is about leave before he can be arrested and Jim confronts him. Seeing how much his character has grown, Silver says to Jim, “Look at you, glowing like a silver fire. You’re something special, Jim. You’re gonna rattle the stars, you are.” It literally makes me tear up every single time I watch it and its one of my favourite lines of all time. Second, this was actually quoted in one of my favourite book series ‘Throne of glass’ by Sarah J Maas. I adore the character of Celeana and again one of my favourite quotes from TOG is when Queen Elena says to Celeana“ You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if only you dared.” Every time I read that line I literally get chills and I actually have plans to get this tattooed on me lmao

2. Any side blogs?

Yes my fanfic blog @second-stars-totheright (I like puns and I used to love peter pan)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I joined when I was 13 for the fanfiction and lurked for a very long time, just reblogging and liking things until I deleted it when I was 17. Re downloaded the app and got my account back back around February of this year (when I was 19, now 20) and since then I’ve found it much friendlier and actually interacted with people this time around, and actually started posting my work on here!

4. Do you have a queueue tag?

No. This is my general postings blog so I just kind of stick anything funny or worth keeping here, but I probably should make one!

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

As I said to read fanfiction (anyone wondering it was 5 seconds of summer fanfiction. Anyone who judges me in the comments its fair game 🥺) but I re-downloaded it this year because I noticed with my work on Wattpad, while I had some do really well (one has gotten 130k+ views) its very difficult to actually interact with readers and get feedback. I’ve only accumulated that high of a number after 5 years of it being on there, and so tumblr is just so much more personal!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I did it this morning as I was getting tagged in this lmao. I wanted a cartoon girl who looked like me but because I had a specific colouring (ie my hair is black with a blonde streak at the front & my eyes have both blue and green segments because I have heterochromia) I couldn’t find any that looked like me so I recoloured a cartoon girl I found on pinterest.

7. Why did you choose you header?

The white clouds fit the stars theme and it looks pretty with the purple. ✨💜

8. Whats your post with the most notes?

“That girl is a problem | Javier Pena x Agent!Reader part 1” with 105 notes on my fanfic blog.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I am still a little tumblr idiot when it comes to this so if someone could tell me how to find out I'll edit this

10. How many followers do you have?

72 on here, 107 on my fanfic blog (AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU ACROSS BOTH OF THEM MWAH, MWAH KISSES FOR YOU ALL 💜💜💜)

11. How many people do you follow?

165 (it was 700+ but the other day I unfollowed a bunch of accounts that haven’t been active since I followed them when I was 13. There were LOTS)

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I mean all you have to do is look at the Nomad memes I make (UNAPOLOGETICALLY I might add 😤) for @clints-lucky-arrow to know I absolutely have. That series has a hold over me im telling you. I black out when I start reading and I awake with a bunch of meme editing apps open and my feelings tugged at from her amazing writing.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

If I’m with my boyfriend which is like two days a week, rarely, but now I’ve finished uni, I’m on here all the god damn time. I feel so comfy and safe interacting with you all, not to mention some of you guys are funny as hell.

14. Did you have a fight with a blog once?

Not really on here, I haven’t received any hate luckily but I prefer not to spoil how comfy I am here with arguing.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to re-blog this’ posts?

I’m a little confused by this I dunno whether I’ve just never come across any like this or if Stars is being a bimbo on the tl again. However, I only reblog things I’d like to keep for future reference or if something deserves to be shared to everyone else like a fic rec or a piece of art. (As Mack said, I’ve re-blogged so many in the past promising me money or luck and I am still broke as shit so what does that tell you).

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes!! I love reading everyone elses and getting to know my mutals better!

17. Do you like ask games?

Again yesss because it means I get to send love to my mutuals and get to know them better! I tend to not participate though just read their responses because I sometimes feel like I’m bugging people clogging their inboxes even though I know that’s the point idk I’m a hell of an over thinker sometimes 🥳

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

It’s been said before but @clints-lucky-arrow (wow you rlly owning this post bby girl) but I just remember lurking on Nomad early February and liking and reblogging her chapters so I could keep them to re-read cause that’s how much I instantly loved it and when she followed me I realised who she was and lowkey had a starstruck moment bcus id been ciaght up in her work for weeks and too nervous to make contact. Also @arduadastra, I saw her work all over the pedro tags for so long and now I’ve gotten to know her she is the sweetest girl!! We usually fan over Javier Pena gifs together, she’s solely responsible for ‘That girl is a problem’ bcus of her gif sending at 1am giving me Javi thots and now it’s my most successful one on my blog. And most recently @pedrosgirlx followed me this morning and her work is genuinely some of the best I've seen on here, as I said this morning it is the Sistine Chapel ceiling of Mando art it is actually jaw dropping!! I cant believe all these creators are rlly giving us this content for free and yet being so talented AND the nicest people I’ve ever met!!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No, although I hold a lot of them dearly as friends. 15/10 would treat you lovelies to a drink of your choice if we ever met (any of you from the uk who drink I’d get you a pitcher from Whetherspoons)

20. Absolutely no pressure tags:

anyone who wants to join! a lot of people I would have tagged have already posted theirs so go for it if you like the look of it!

[overdramaticly-dying]

Repo Mantis

A really cute episode with Donnie and Mikey!! Seriously they’re my favourite pairing in tmnt, and it’s really fun to see rise’s take on them!!

-It’s really cute that Donnie brings Mikey along with him in the first place, seeing as Mikey probably isn’t really allowed out on his own all that often, even if it isn’t a ‘mission’

-”Donnie... donnie doNNIE- I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD- DONNIE” 

-”Mikey, next time I would appreciate a heads-up” “ok... HEADS-UP”

-Gotta love how Repo’s cat is in the background (or foreground??? I guess???)

-”OH NO A MUTANT... wait, we’re mutants too, it’s ok”

-Repo just became a mutant... and was like “guess I don’t need pants anymore”

-I will never tire of Mikey and Donnie trying to be ‘smooth’ 

-seriously though- what’s with this family and their ability to pull sunglasses out of nowhere??? I know it’s a cartoon and all, but I’d like to think this is a skill that Splinter ensured his children possessed

-”I’ve got big silver, small silver, and I can make it rain copper, daddy” SERIOUSLY THAT’S SUCH AN ICONIC LINE, BUT I’LL NEVER GET OVER THE FACT THAT IT’S AN ACTUAL CANNON THING THAT DONNIE SAID

-”aaaaaaand sidebar-”

-Donnie and Mikey catch a ride in the back of a random guy’s truck, but judging from the map, it actually took quite a few tries, so that means they were probably jumping around from car to car???

-it’s been pointed out before, but Donnie lets Mikey hold onto him while they’re walking, and it’s honestly not noticeable by how natural he treats it?? They don’t make fun of him for being scared in rise, instead they just support him

-It’s also Donnie’s first instinct to push Mikey down to hide when he hears a noise

-I’m sorry, I love Todd, but his introduction still makes me super skeptical... with Donnie calling him ‘the spine-breaking bandit’, and several other lines from other episodes ( Origami Tsunami, the Evil Leauge of Mutants, Todd Scouts) he’s questionable at best...

-”I’m not scared of some no-good forest dweller!”

-”Maybe we should call Raph and Leo-” “no, nO NO NO NO NO- we got this! think of all the boss adventures we could have in the moon buggy!” Mikey were you planning on not telling Raph and Leo abt the buggy????

-”aaaaand sidebar-” *yeets himself at Mikey to pull him away*

-these good boi’s with straws

-”why did we just do that?” “I don’t know Michele, I don’t. know.”

-Mmmmm idk it feels like we gloss over the line “his superpower is niceness,” a little bit- his niceness convinced Donnie and Mikey to build an entire freakin theme park??? I dunno, I dunno

-then again, how on earth do you argue when Mikey’s sitting there like:

-You’d have to be heartless

-Donnie trust’s Mikey to help him work on stuff, which is really nice to see!! Not only that, but they both look like they’re really enjoying themselves!!

-”NO, STOP, NO”

-Both Donnie and Mikey exit the Rv through the windows...

-”Hey, the purple one’s funny” “I keep telling you guys I’m funny”

-”I think we got a bunch of people pretty oily” he said, after dumping a bunch of oil on people. sidenote: those people were probably pretty confused, huh?

-”Really? there is a bug-zapper? But why didn’t you try that first?” “it didn’t have a ‘3000′ after it!” 

-and instead of further getting frustrated with Mikey, Donnie instead actually writes ‘3000′ just so he’d be happy- even though Mikey was already gonna push it next????? It’s so nice...

-There’s so much I love about that quick interaction, but I especially love Mikey’s face during the conversation- like I can’t describe it, but it’s just really perfect how it changes? Just do yourself a favour and go rewatch this episode, if purely for that scene

-”Hard as nails!”

tl;dr it’s a really sweet episode, and I love the interactions between Donnie and Mikey! Also Repo is a great character, and I hope we see more of him in the future!

Alright, I’m really sorry, but I cannot for the life of me find out who asked me to do this episode- like they asked me to do this one and Newsworthy (which is coming next), and I’m like 80% sure I know who they are, but there’s another person with the same profile pic as them, and I can’t figure out which one asked for it- so I’m really really sorry, but this is for you my friend!!! (I would just feel so awkward tagging u, and then getting it wrong)

[starshinewriter]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Louie Duck & Scrooge McDuck Characters: Louie Duck, Huey Duck, Dewey Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Doofus Drake (mentioned) Additional Tags: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brotherly Love, Protective Older Brothers, doofus is the worst, scrooge used to be as well but hes working on it, Episode: s03e21 The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck! Series: Part 10 of Set After Summary:

Louie apologized to Doofus, he isn't sure how to feel about it. (Spoiler alert, he's very sure.)

Notes: 

yes im aware this is another louie-centric story and yes im also aware that i still have to finish the final chapter of AMOM.... that's all i got.

hope you enjoy!

Alternative to Ao3:

The first thing Louie does when he gets home is go up to his room, he thinks his Uncle has some idea of how worn out he is cause he doesn't say anything against it. He knows that he'll have the room to himself since his brothers are still occupied with the gribbles and honestly that relieves him a bit, as bad as that makes him feel he needs to be alone right now. There's also the thing of them knowing whenever something is wrong the moment they see him and will ask questions that he isn't ready to answer yet.

He throws himself on his bed and does everything he can not to think about the day's events but fails almost instantly. So he tries to think about everything except the part that bothered him the most. He fails at that too.

He apologized to Doofus Drake, that was something that he did. And he's supposed to feel happy about it, apologizing is a good thing, but all he feels is everything he always feels with Doofus: dread, terror, the overwhelming desire to get as far away from him as he possibly can- which is about as opposite from good as you can get. He doesn't get it, why doesn't he feel better about this? Why does he feel like he just made a huge mistake? Sure, Doofus is Doofus, but he had gotten him off of his back, which had been his whole goal, he should feel good right now, but all he feels is trepidation.

Trauma, Huey would call it.

All he knows is that he wants it to go away and he doesn't know how to make it, and that might be scarier than actually being scared. What if it never goes away? What if he always feels like he can't let his guard down, ever? What kind of life is that? He buries himself in his blankets and that's where he stays, alone, until the door opens and voices that are talking about something he can't hear pause when they see him. He can practically feel them look at each other and carefully step to the bed.

"Hey, Lou." One of them -Dewey- says. "Whatcha up to?" He doesn't say anything. They look at each other once more. He feels the bed move a moment later- once, twice, and then he's surrounded by the comforting presence only his brothers can give. He stays in the blankets.

"What happened today? Uncle Scrooge gave us a summary but it was mostly about him and what he went through."

"Doofus Drake was there." Is all he says, but it's more than enough, in less than a second arms are encompassing the blankets and grabbing him in a hug. They know what a trigger Doofus is for him.

Huey places his head near where he knows Louie's is, "Do you wanna talk about it?" He feels his head shake and fights back the urge to sigh, of course he doesn't, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't. "We won't force you, but it might help you get your thoughts in order."

"I apologized to him." His brothers share a glance,

"Why?"

Louie shifts in the blankets, his brothers move to make him more comfortable. "To get him to leave me alone, mostly, and drop the case. But I dunno, Uncle Scrooge was apologizing for what he did, so I thought I had to too."

Dewey looks at him with confusion, "But you didn't do anything, not anything that he didn't deserve. Why apologize for that?"

"It felt like the right thing to do."

"Was it?" Louie is silent for a few minutes, that's what's worrying him, what if in making the right decision for the case he made the wrong one for himself?

"I don't know." He finally answers. "I just know I wanted Scrooge and me to be able to go home and I didn't want to have a sworn enemy my whole life."

Huey holds him tighter, "Louie, your relationship with him is not the same as Uncle Scrooge's relationships with his enemies. You're terrified of him! You can't be around him or even think about him without freaking out! He trapped you in his house, he tried to have you killed, he's not your enemy, he's an abuser!" The room falls silent after that and it stays that way until sniffles start to come from the blanket pile.

"I didn't want to do it," Louie admits. "I just did what I thought I had to. But now, now I'm so scared." He breaks into sobs and his brothers quickly pull him out of the blanket and into a hug. "It's not fair, why did I have to be the one to do it?! Why does he get to get away with everything?!" Dewey starts rubbing his back which makes him calm down a bit.

"All I can say is he better hope he doesn't run into us."

"Agreed." Huey replies; Louie lets out a small laugh, yeah he better, but Louie wouldn't feel sorry for him if he did.

____________________________________________________________

His Uncle finds him in the kitchen later and nods at him as he goes to get something from the fridge. "Are you feeling better, lad?" He asks as he sets up a kettle on the stove.

"No." Louie says honestly.

"Ae thought that might be the case." He pours tea into the kettle. "Ae know apologizin' fer somethin' is hard, especially ta someane like that, but sometimes it's just somethin' yew have ta do."

"... What if I made a mistake?" Louie responds without looking at him and his Uncle sighs.

"The only ane that can tell ye that is yew, do yew feel like ye made a mistake?" Louie hesitates before nodding. Scrooge hums, "Necessary evil it's called, sometimes its the only thing we can do. Doesnae make it right, or fair, but look at the positive: at least he'll leave ye alone now."

Louie doesn't say anything to that. Was that positive big enough to negate the negatives? "I wish I didn't." He admits all of a sudden. "Does that make me a bad person?"

His Uncle looks at him sternly, "Louie Duck, you are ane o' the best people ae know. Ye constantly make me want ta be better, and ae know ye do fer the rest o' this family as well. All o' yew kids do. Ae know this situation is awful but ae'm proud o' yew fer being the bigger person, if that counts fer anythin'." Louie nods, it does, it counts for a lot actually.

"Huey said I shouldn't have had to do it, that my relationship with Doofus was different than your's with your enemies. Worse. And that he didn't deserve an apology. I agree with him and I hate that I did it. It didn't make me feel any better, didn't lift any weight off of me, it just made me feel worse. And you know what the worst part is? That I keep thinking that I made him like this, that if I hadn't of gone to see him on Only Child Day he wouldn't be like this, how messed up is that?"  

Scrooge turns back to the stove and removes the kettle then pours himself a cup of tea, "The lad was right, my relationships are nae that the same as yers, and it'll do yew no good ta compare them. Ae'll be honest- that child deserves a lot o' things, but an apology is nae ane o' them. Ae'm sorry yew were forced inta that position, yew should never do things cause someane else is or because it seems like the right thing ta do." He sighs. "It was a sticky situation, and ane ye really shouldnae have been involved in, ae dinnae need Donald yellin' at me ta know that's true." He says with a wry grin. "Ae'm glad yew were there though, ye were a great help." He adds, more sincerely.

Louie beams, "Maybe I should be a lawyer."

Scrooge chuckles, "Maybe." He looks at Louie, "Somethin' ae realized today was that while ae had a hand in creating my enemies and them me, ae ultimately made myself. Anyane can go on and on aboot apologizin' and holdin' people accountable, but at the end o' the day our own actions are the only anes we're responsible fer. Yew didnae make Doofus what he is, he made himself like that."

"That makes sense. Thanks, Uncle Scrooge." Maybe now he can feel better about this situation, between his brothers and his Uncle he's coming out with a much clearer view than before.

"And speakin' o' holdin' people accountable..." Louie looks at him with interest. "Ae'm thinkin' Doofus' parents and ae need ta have a little chat aboot his behavior. He cannae make yew as upset as ye get every time yew run inta him and get away with it." Louie grins at him, okay, now he can really feel better about this whole thing. It won't be right away, but he knows now that it is possible. He'll probably be scared of Doofus his whole life, and will never, ever, be near him again, but he won't always be a source of trauma for him and that's probably the best outcome.

And this point, he'll take whatever he can get.

[sdpafanblogofsupremefunk]

Season 1, Episode 1: A Different Place

Where better to begin talking about a show than the beginning? Like most shows, Sítio do Picapau Amarelo has a pilot episode.

...Okay, in this case, “pilot episode” is just a fancy way of saying “first episode”. Much like Rick & Morty and DT17, SDPA doesn’t really have a pilot episode that isn’t just the first episode (unless you count Doc and Mharti as R&M’s pilot, which I’d rather not), so to begin the series, we kinda have to jump right into the mess of things.

It’s like A Quiet Place, but not stupid.

As the episode begins, we are introduced to a two men on a horse-drawn cart. The man in the red box is a book salesman who’s a little down on his luck in terms of profits.

A little.

This guy isn’t really given a name, and I don’t want to call him “The Salesman” the whole time because that’s stupid. So I’m going to give him a name. Mr. Simmons will do nicely.

Anyways, Mr. Simmons falls out of the cart when it hits a patch in the road, and when he picks himself up, he sees a quaint little house on a farm, with an old woman knitting on the porch.

Here, we are introduced to the first of our main cast, Dona Benta, a kind elderly lady who owns this little patch of heaven known as the Yellow Woodpecker Farm. Yeah, didn’t take us long to get there, huh?

So Mr. Simmons sees this old woman in the middle of (what he believes to be) nowhere, and decides it’s the perfect opportunity to make a quick buck believing that:

Which, I dunno, man, she seems pretty comfortable just sitting in her rocking chair, knitting. Like, even as an outsider who doesn’t know a lick of what goes on in this farm, I’d say she’s content as she is, but anything to make some cold hard cash, I guess.

Also, I would not ever call this place a desert, even for the sake of exaggeration. There’s grass everywhere, bushes, trees, flowers, the works. If this where anything like a desert, I do not think this woman would be here, to put it simply. But, I digress. And I hydraulic press, but we won’t be seeing that.

So, Mrs. Benta goes inside to call for the kids, and here we meet 3 of our other actors:

Here, we see Pedrinho (or Little Pete, the boy in the blue overalls) and Narizinho (or Lúcia “Little Nose”, the girl in the red dress), cousins and Mrs. Benta’s grandchildren. They’re playing tag, I think, but they’re stopped in their tracks with their Grandma in the way, and-

Hang on, I feel like we’re forgetting something.

Oh, right. I almost forgot Emilia. She’s basically the reason I watch this show, no biggie.

Anyway, she’s in a race with the kids, when they’re blocked by Grandma. Emilia makes the smart move and cuts right under Mrs. Benta. It looks like this:

Another reason I like this show so much, it’s rife with smears, which I feel like any good cartoon should have. Like here, where Emilia friggin’ nyooms right under Mrs. Benta like a comet.

Emilia reaches the finish line at the bookshelf, where we see the Viscount of Sabugosa, a puppet made out of an ear of corn who’s very smart and polite. (His name is a pun, “sabugo” means corncob in Portuguese, and it’s a parody of the Count of Sabugosa, of which there were 9, the first being Vasco Fernandes César de Meneses in 1729- but everybody calls him Viscount and so will I because blah)

In this show, the Viscount is the actual size of an ear of corn, which makes sense, he is, after all, a puppet made out of one. I think it’s really funny that the cartoon is slightly more realistic than the live-action show it’s based on in this regard, because in the 2001 series, for whatever reason, the Viscount towers over everyone:

And he has a sick mustache.

Like, I don’t get it, out of all the characters, you made the guy made out of corn the tallest one in the cast? I get that the technology to make him actually small probably wasn’t all there yet, Grandpa in My Pocket was still 8 years off, but you really couldn’t find a guy that wasn’t the same height as Shaq?

Yeesh, only 2 minutes in and I’m getting sidetracked this often. Well, I guess it’s better than having nothing to talk about.

Anyway, Emilia wins the race, but the other two kids run into her, smooshing her against the bookshelf-

-and pwning her so hard she briefly grows fingers on her hand (and turning it into a left hand apparently, because the thumb is on the wrong side)

Mrs. Benta explains that Emilia and the other mystical beings must hide from the impending salesman.

Oh brother, I was wondering when we’d get to this guy. This is Marquis of Rabicó (Portuguese for Short-tail). Literally the first thing you read about him on the show’s Wikipedia is that he’s fat (which you think would be a given cuz he’s a pig), and his part of the Characters section isn’t much better, stating that he’s a “gluttonous, selfish, cowardly and lazy pig” and most of his episodes involve him getting himself and/or others into trouble by being a gluttonous, selfish, cowardly and lazy pig. He’s only ever onscreen to cause problems, either directly or by proxy. If I were to sum him up in one meme, it would be this:

Now, I don’t hate Rabicó, I’m actually quite indifferent towards him, but he does bring down a lot of the episodes that he’s a major part of. Thankfully, there aren’t too many episodes featuring him in the first 2 seasons, but from what I hear, Season 3 goes ham with that shit (pun intended) and it brings down the quality of the season as a whole, so it’s a good thing that’s as far off from now as it is. I want to enjoy the lack-of-pig while it lasts.

But hey, at least he doesn’t look like this:

Don’t do drugs, kids.

Rant over, Mrs. Benta explains that she wants things to look normal because the Yellow Woodpecker Farm is a very peculiar place, where all kinds of weird and wacky stuff goes on, and if word gets out about it, the place will be filled with tourists wanting to get a peek of the action.

Something that Mrs. Benta probably didn’t consider is that there’s a bigger threat to being exposed than just filthy tourism. That’s right, I’m talking about the GOVERNMENT.

I mean, think about it. How many movies have you seen where the government tries to hunt down an unnatural being? E.T., the Sonic Movie, a third one I can’t think of right now, etc. (Lilo & Stitch does not count) Now, I can’t speak for Brazil’s government compared to the U.S., but I know there’s gotta be a division dedicated to dealing with unnatural things that would no doubt arrest Emilia, Rabicó, Viscount, etc. and run experiments on them. Then again, maybe this cartoon takes place in a world where the government doesn’t even exist. I mean, we never really see any urban settings in the show (aside from a brief mention of “the city” in the finale), so for all I know, the world of Sítio do Picapau Amarelo is run by Vermin Supreme.

Real talk, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not voting for this guy back in 2016.

Initially, Emilia won’t go into her box, but then she gives in and is dragged there by Aunt Nastácia, the housemaid of the farm with a knack for making dolls (so she’s essentially Emilia’s mom). She doesn’t really do much in this episode, but the Fat Bastard does even less, and I still mentioned him.

So Mrs. Benta lets Mr. Simmons into the house and he does this whole spiel about how great the books are, how they can take you to worlds you never imagined, fantasy and action, yadda yadda.

Meanwhile, the kids are off to the side and they’re all like “Well, we met the actual Hercules, get on our level scrub”. And of course, Emilia is watching with them, instead of in her box.

As Simmons keeps on rambling, Emilia is being a little peeping tom, not realizing that one turned head could lead to her being dissected like a high school frog.

Apparently, Emilia thinks she’s a regular Bart Simpson, with shit like spitballs and pulling out the man’s leg hairs. She’s really pushing her luck here, and for little reason. Sure, Simmons called the place boring, but that’s how it’s supposed to be to him.

Of course, Pedrinho and Narizinho are nice enough kids that they bail her out on this one and pretend it was them.

And before Simmons can ask what the hell is going on, Mrs. Benta gives him the money for the books and sends him out the door. And once he’s out...

I’ll give you a hint: it rhymes with go.

Of course, they’re not out of the woods yet, cuz Simmons is getting a little suspicious.

Busted. The truth is revealed, all laid out for Simmons to see. A talking rag-doll? Inconceivable! And yet, there it is.

Come on, Viscount. I would expect you of all people to uphold what Mrs. Benta said and stay hidden. You’re smart enough, you should already know what’s at stake, or at least that something is at stake. I mean, I understand that the cat is already out of the bag, but you’re not helping.

Also, you’re thumb is clipping into your bowtie, you should get that checked out.

Rabicó, I hope you get turned into salami. Not out of spite or anything, but just because I like salami.

Naturally, Simmons believes he’s struck gold and found the ultimate tourist trap. But when Emilia points out that if he tells anyone, he’ll sound like a crazy person-

-he straight up Villager Neutral B’s her,

hails a horse, and books it.

Wow, Viscount. Dick move mangling Mrs. Benta’s glasses like that. And all for an impromptu magnifying glass, which is pointless-

-because we can see the horse tracks perfectly fine without them.

(The Viscount isn’t this much of a jerk in the rest of the series, I swear.)

So, the gang follow the tracks until there are no more, which leads them to a corn store.

Wait, a... corn store? As in, a store that mainly, if not exclusively, sells maize and maize accessories? Compared to vegetables in general, that’s quite a niche market, I can’t possibly imagine finding a success in building an entire business around one type of vegetable. Corn is simply not as versatile as something like chocolate or cheese.

Oh no, wait, it’s just a bar. I guess this cartoon takes place in the middle of Prohibition 2: Return of Jafar, and the whole “corn store” thing is just a set up for a speakeasy. (I mean, you could also argue that it’s a diner, but I’mma go with bar because it’s funnier.)

And I’m guessing Simmons expects the place to put all of the meals on his tab, considering he’s going to get the money later with all the tourism. But then, why doesn’t he just pay with the money he got from selling Mrs. Benta those books? So he pulls Emilia out of his bag to show everyone that he has a talking doll and...

Hm. Probably should have put some air holes in that bag.

Anyway, the gang comes in, and Mrs. Benta asks for the doll back, with Narizinho hamming up her Oscar-worthy performance:

So everybody’s giving Mr. Simmons a mean glare:

Including this gentleman who looks like someone just insulted his favorite MHA character (it’s probably Tsuyu):

So Mr. Simmons desperately tries to convince everyone that the doll indeed does talk, and that she comes from a wacky place, but Aunt Nastácia intervenes and says that it’s just a normal doll.

She just straight up roasts Emilia, who (big surprise) does not take it very well. To the point that she is very visibly angry, which you think the barflies would notice.

I mean, look at that and tell me that you wouldn’t notice anything weird.

But anyways, they get the doll back and we get this cute group hug.

D’awww.

So they leave with Emilia-

as Mr. Simmons is beaten to death offscreen for stealing from a little girl.

As the gang walks home, Viscount bends Ms. Benta’s glasses back to normal. Took you long enough, ya jerk.

Not even close, my dear. This is only the beginning.

Well, that was a very good first episode. It introduces the world and many of the main characters very well. And while there were a few issues I had with it, they’re really just nitpicks that don’t detract from the episode as a whole. Overall, a good effort, 8/10.

So, yeah, that’s the first episode down. Join me next time when we watch episode 2, and meet a very vile villain.

Very vile indeed.

[duhragonball]

7 Comfort Movies

Tagged by @pandemicpicnic . List your seven favorite comfort movies, then tag 7 people.   

This is a good thing to pass around, since I could use the diversion, and as I think about this list, I realize how long it’s been since I last saw a lot of these movies.  

In no particular order...

1) Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn

I dunno if these are necessarily comfort movies, as opposed to just movies I like the best, but I don’t watch movies a whole lot, so I’m guessing my all-time favorites are probably close enough.   Movie 12 is good watchin’, period.   This is a movie about everyone working together.    Friends, enemies, strangers, the living and the dead, the damned and the divine.   I watch this movie and wish that we in the real world could put aside our differences so easily and blow up all the Nazis.

2) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

People say this is the worst Superman movie, but fuck that noise.   This is the only one where Superman throws all the nuclear weapons into the sun.    But one of them has a chicken nugget attached to it, which grows into a clone of Superman with scratchy fingernails, his only weakness.    So Superman has to kick his ass on/with the moon, and then tell everyone that nuclear war is too big a job for Superman, because we’ll just re-arm the minute his back is turned. 

This is a story about high school physics, Luthor.     Sometimes the things we fear the most are only the darker side of our greatest strengths.   If humanity has the power to destroy itself, then doesn’t that mean we have the power to save ourselves as well?   The choice is ours.  

3) Spaceballs

Some killjoys actually hated this movie, and point to it as evidence that Mel Brooks lost his touch.   I respectfully submit that those people are dumb.  Spaceballs came out during the dark years between Return of the Jedi and Phantom Menace, when we all wanted more Star Wars but thought we would never get more.    Brooks heard our pleas, and gave us this movie, which is basically Star Wars with dick jokes all over it.   People always go on about how Star Trek predicted smartphones and the Simpsons predicted the Trump administration, but only Spaceballs was prescient enough to declare: “Fuck!    Even in the future, nothing works!”

This is a story about following your heart.    If all you care about is duty, and obligation, and profit, you’ll end up marrying some dullard, or owing your soul to a talking pizza, or roaming the universe in search of air.   

4) Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

This is the best Batman movie ever, and maybe even the best comic book movie period.    In 1994, Batman the Animated Series was popular enough that they made a feature film and ran it in theaters and everything.  I remember some smartass article at the time questioning whether parents would see the point in taking their kids to watch a movie of something that’s on TV for free, which is just dumb.    It’s not like they ran four episodes of the TV series for this thing.   It’s an original story!   Anyway, Batman has to figure out what the deal is with this new vigilante who fights crime with murder, which is also a crime.   He also gets very sad in place and it’s very emotional and I bought the soundtrack as soon as I could because I wanted to listen to it and feel things.

This is a story about the future, and promises, and the roads not taken.   And when all is said and done, maybe the choices we made were the right ones after all, in spite of our second-guesses.

5) Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

I considered putting Revenge of the Sith on this list, since that’s usually the one I look up clips from on YouTube, but there’s no topping Jedi.   I saw this in the theatre when I was six and everything was awesome.    Jabba the Hutt, wint-o-green lightsabers, speeder bikes, Ewoks breaking stuff with logs and rocks, it’s just a pleasure to watch.   Also, this movie introduces Emperor Palpatine, and lays the foundation for the Sith lore that made me love Revenge of the SIth in the first place.  Not long after we got home from seeing this movie in 1983, I tried to draw this scene in the screencap above, because it left such a deep impression on me.   

This is a story about feelings.    Every butthole in Star Wars is always telling everyone else what to feel and how much they should feel it, and don’t get too attached to this or that.     But in this movie Luke has to exercise restraint and then cut loose, give into his passions and then reign them in, care for his friends and family but also be willing to let them go.    Everyone can give him advice, but he’s got to hoe that row himself, and figure it out as he goes.   He doesn’t always get it exactly right, but he still gets it.   

6) The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

The historians will say that cartoons like the original Transformers were nothing more than glorified toy commercials, made possible by the deregulation of children’s entertainment in the 1980′s.    I find this incredibly unfair, because that analysis ignores the fact that Transformers was a fucking awesome cartoon.    They’re all robots, so they could shoot and punch each other without any guff from standards and practices. And since the show was designed to promote an entire toy line, there were literally dozens of characters, each given a surprising amount of character and personality.   Starscream (center) and Ramjet (right) are practically the same toy, but kids wanted both of them because Starscream is a whiny, shitty drama queen, and Ramjet is a dumbass who likes to hit things with his head.     Astrotrain (left) is just a cool dude who can be a train or a space shuttle. 

This movie is the height of the franchise, where they could raise the stakes even higher, and introduce even crazier concepts like planet-eating monsters and robots actually killing each other for keeps.    I see fans from my generation acting all traumatized over all the deaths, like they never should have done that in a movie marketed for children, but this was a story about renewal.   The old order changeth, and it falls to the newcomers to rise up and carry on.    I’ve always taken a lot of comfort in the way these characters pass the torch.    The Smurfs were never brave enough to have Papa Smurf name his successor.  

7) UHF

Geez, I haven’t watched this one in forever.    I’d have to double-check to see if I even have it on DVD.    UHF was the ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic vehicle from the late 1980′s.   I want to say ‘89.    He plays a guy who takes over a TV station and runs all these ludicrous shows on it until it becomes the most popular channel in town.   It’s basically a bunch of sketch comedy stitched together into a movie, and it doesn’t try to apologize for this.  

This is a story of the importance of imagination, and of being true to yourself.   Al’s character has trouble finding a steady job, and its’ easy to conclude that there’s something wrong with him, but it’s really just that he hasn’t found the right opportunity for his passions and skills.   Once he finds his place, he rises to the occasion.  

And that’s my list.   Now I gotta tag people.   @auralime, @ediblenonsense, @semercury​, @twobellsilence​, @drowning-in-this-starry-serenade​, @cozymochi​, and @glintea​.

[riotatthemovies]

   The Halloween Family 2019

Ending a trilogy of awful kids movie reviews and setting the way for next week starts my 60 days of Halloween goodness.

1 Let me say I watch this garbage for you so you don't have to. But sometimes I wish you could see them too just so you know just how shockingly bad they really are.

2 HOLY FUCK THIS MOVIE WAS SHOCKINGLY SHIT! I dare to call it a fake movie. So cheap either the makers are crazy or legit assholes. Such a cheap trick I am laughing so hard I'm crying.In recent years their have been these dollar store CGI  animated ripp off movies and some oddly original ones that are made as cheap as ALL FUCKIN FUCK! 

I keep expecting set subtitles to appear and a button the the screen that says skip intro. The characters only stand there and talk to each other looking like cut scenes from a video game and by video game I mean like a PS1 or N64 cut scene at best. Every Character just talks as there eyes blink and hands move up and down repetitively as the camera moves around them to make it look like maybe the scene is going somewhere. The only characters that move are the main two characters who are walking forward constantly as they talk. Remember the hype behind FOOD FIGHT which is considered the ultimate cartoon for bad movie lovers and just how bad it is? Well this is fucking worse and so are almost everything this animation company has made. Shockingly bad.

The plot is basically Wizard of Oz as Zombie Larry and Mummy Fred go on a walk up the Dead Brick Road to find the Magic Tree Ghoul that will grant them wishes. The Wicked Witch of the Dead Selma things they want wishes to destroy her so he sends universal monsters to stop them. Let me stop here and again I warn you this is not as fun as this sounds. As two dopey characters constantly walk forward in what is obviously a pre set 3d map. The animations were set to just move forward and sort of move their mouths as they edit it to look like maybe they are saying or reacting to the dialogue.  The repetition will make you smack your self and the dumbness of the conversions will weaken your brain that after a while it will seem normal.  

The first review on imdb has a father spitting that he paid money for this movie and he turned it off 10 minutes in as his kid couldn't give a shit either. Well I never stop a movie I start.. I just make food and take a shit or two during it. 

It has a cover that looks much more fun then the movie but has a tag line that says Laugh till you Coffin... What the fuck?

As our "heroes" Larry and Fred go on their adventures they are stopped by Universal monsters Dracula and Frankensteins monster.  One at a time of course. But they just stand in front of them and talk so long the monsters get depressed and just let them past. The Monsters only have the ability to move their mouths. It really feels like there was a playing fight scene we could have played but we missed it.Worst they make Frankensteins monster talk like Shrek on purpose. Ugh this could be subconsciously dulling peoples brain and will lead to more flat earthers.

They meet a Grim reaper who just does a repeating cabbage patch dance making this the shittiest Team Fortress slash Fortnite cartoon ever. But I guess with the hits those cartoons getting so many hits online no one blame some religious produced cartoon thinking its ok. 

With a message that says you should except that youre a monster and doomed to stay in monsterland and stop trying to join the rest of the world and expand your life... basically this movie tells you to accept who you are and stay with your own kind... wait umm am I reading into this too much? That makes this sound like a very conservative cartoon... fuck I dunno my brain is mush. 

They do meet a pumpkin head man whos head is rotting which makes him smell like farts. His name is simply Big Head and I really feel for this guy... I really really relate... fart.

This is free on several streaming services but the dvd is for sale for 15 bucks at wal mart so that means someone somewhere paid money for this. To that all I can say is... HAHA FOOLS ,YOU FUCKING FOOLS!!!

 I’m gonna wake up and Im gonna be stuck in Halloweenland and cursed to constantly walk in repeating motion for ever... I just know it.. I’m fucking doomed.

[daz4i]

non-con and r/pe fics are not ~problematic~ content you fucking tool, neither is child p/rn, which ao3 ALLOWS to run rampant on their site. this is also the site that has been in beta for YEARS and doesn’t have the most basic feature aka a block button because it would be ‘too complicated’ to add. shut the fuck up and sit down south park fan

yknow i was originally planning to not answer this bc of the way you’ve “presented” your point, but i do wanna clear what i said while ignoring your needless aggressiveness even tho it’s clear you’re not looking for a real discussion but just looking for an outlet to your anger. you probably won’t read my answer anyway but maybe if any of my followers share the same views, it’s good for me to explain lol. i actually put effort into it rather than throwing insults so it’s long, therefore under the cut

i feel like you’re purposely misinterperting me, once again probably just for the sake of being angry, but ok. yeah it’s more than problematic content, but man when i’m typing tags half asleep what else am i supposed to call it. fine, the writers are the ones who are ~problematic~, phrasing issue, does this part even really matter...? 

this fucked up content (is that better phrasing for you?) makes roughly 1% of the content on the site, from what i’ve heard (obviously i could be wrong, because it’s also really hard for people to measure considering the nature of a proper tagging system, aka if a fic has mentioned rape in it as in a character’s trauma people should tag it, but then is the data analyzer supposed to count it as rape content? probably not. anyway, i kinda went off topic), so i wouldn’t call that “run rampant”

either way, ao3 lets people host this content because of what i mentioned - you can’t actually monitor it unless you have real people running fic by fic to check, which is literally impossible, especially when your team is made of volunteers

and. as i’ve said in my tags. it beats the original purpose of ao3, which is to allow whatever fan content people want to make, due to fandom history

and like, this may seem obvious to you, but how can they choose exactly what counts as content that’s supposed to be blocked? when you say cp, do you mean fics abt highschooler anime characters? this probably counts, but what if the person who wrote the fic is 16 y/o for example? is it just as bad? what if the characters in the fic are aged up? where do you draw the line? (don’t bring up that one “don’t make sexual illustration or written content of minors” law, it’s about real minors, people on tumblr have a tendency to misinterpert that one and think it means cartoon characters) and how do you enforce these rules about stuff like rape? as i said, do you just delete every content that mentions it? what if someone’s venting their experience through a fic and does it in a proper way that doesn’t romanticize it? is it still not allowed? there’s too many “if”s and “but”s for this stuff, and if you try to enforce any rules about them you’ll end up censoring harmless content and survivors coping with their trauma through fiction, and as i said, this beats ao3′s original point which is to allow people to post the content they want with no censorship like previous fan content sites and hosts tried to. this is literally what ao3 was made for. 

ao3 has a proper tagging system and now a blacklisting system just so you won’t have to deal with this type of content that you don’t want to see. and yeah, if people don’t use it right it’s a problem, but it’s a them problem, not ao3′s problem. honestly, you don’t even have to use ao3 at all and you can easily avoid all of this if you want. 

as for the beta thing, i mean, okay? i don’t know enough about web design to see the problem with the site being in beta for years, esp considering they’re still adding features and tweaks. dunno what you might need a block feature on a fic site for (i mean, mean comments? i guess? bc if you don’t wanna see a certain author in search results you can blacklist them after all) but k, legit criticism, but don’t forget they’re also a team of volunteers and have life outside of this site too, obviously it won’t evolve as fast as sites made by people who work at it and get paid to do it. 

anyway, tldr, this shit is unfortunately all or nothing because of the nature of fandom spaces and content blocking, and ao3 would rather go with all (as in all content is allowed). if you disagree with their approach then don’t use the site, idk what to tell you. no one’s forcing you to go on it or look at fucked up content. 

i probably won’t want to further discuss this, esp not with you if you’re gonna approach it like that bc as i said it’s obvious you’re not going to have a proper discussion, and also i think i said my opinion here and hope it’s clear enough? if you disagree with me aight, if i bother you cool just unfollow me. don’t be a dick

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever seen a black rose? online only

Is your coffee machine plugged in right now? we don’t own one as we don’t drink coffee Do you write words on your knuckles? I tried few times for fun XD Have you ever been a SCUBA diver for Halloween? wtf Have you ever taken a picture of a sandwich? sure Have you ever seen elephant droppings? I haven’t  Would you like to visit Play Dough Land? :o What’s your opinion on Katy Perry? copycat Who was your favorite character from the cartoon Recess? Spinelli, then Gretchen

Have you ever lost your parents in the grocery store? yeah, I still do and I hate that  Have you drawn a star today? not today but when I was in hospital this week Are you older or younger than fifteen? much older If you can remember, what was the last thing that made you feel nostalgic? Recess being mentioned Are you the type of person who prefers to stay in or go out? stay in Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yep Are you starting to realize anything? sigh... Would you live with someone without marrying them? why not Who was the last person you talked to in person? *mom enters my room*

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? dad and two doctors

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? omg I realized I was so tired that I didn’t even say hello to my dog wtf... What genre is the song that you’re currently listening to? indiepop/electropop Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it? nope Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? plenty of times Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy” etc.) wow beautiful, pretty, attractive, cute, adorable, piękna, that she looks amazing/awesome/great, śliczna, urocza, słodka, cudowna...

*it reminds me of one very embarassing high school story: były wigilie klasowe i wyszliśmy rozbawieni z sali, a na korytarzu stała śliczna dziewczyna i na cały głos powiedziałam “ale laska” potem zorientowałam się co właśnie zrobiłam i robiąc facepalma wymaszerowałam ze szkoły, a za mną śmiejące się przyjaciółki, nie dały mi potem o tym długo zapomnieć, a E.W. nawet obczaiła kto to i próbowała się dowiedzieć, czy jest ona lesbą, ale okazało się, że ma chłopaka i demonstracyjnie całowała się z nim na moich oczach parę dni później Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? just water Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I haven’t Name something you like, that starts with the letter ‘L’. lamps I’m not a moth tho :P When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? not sure when was the last time and/or what it was about How many people have you hugged today? 2 Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? been really into very dark brown eyes and arm lenght or a bit shorter brown hair mostly like Rosa Salazar (latino and asian women) that’s why Sarah been so my type

but my biggest tumblr crush was Raquey Strange

and my youtube one - Rachel Maksy

*vintage ladies <3 The last song you listened to – does it remind you of anyone? it doesn’t remind me of anyone, it’s from K-12 album

What was the last compliment you received? mom complimented my hair today

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? wallflower

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? none but Swift if I had to choose

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? no pattern this time

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? englihs, polish, russian Where did you get the underwear you’re wearing? Auchan

Are you good in painting yopur nails with your left hand? not even with my right one lol Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? very Do you call any of your friends by their last name? that would be weird How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? long? Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? I don’t recall Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? gave up TV Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? bathroom Are you trying to grow out your hair? need to cut my hair but not bangs

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

What brand is the shirt you’re wearing? I cut the tag but I believe I bought it in Sinsay First person you spoke to today? my mother Name of first boyfriend/girlfriend? dunno who to count First place you lived? same as currently Who was your 1st teacher? not counting pre school and Mrs. Alinka - my aunt  Last person to call you? labor office Last song you heard? Melanie Martinez - Bombs on Monday Morning Last thing you bought? silver glittery ugg slippers :3 Where was your facebook display photo taken? hospital How many people have you kissed in the last 2 weeks? nobody What were you doing at 10 this morning? waking up Have you ever dated an Emily? umm... How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 0 What is the weather like right now? perfect - hot, zephyr, clouds :D why am I not outside?... Where was the last place you went that was more than 30 minutes away? mall Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties, unless I’m sleeping

Do you live within an hour of the ocean? not even sea Do you ever do things even though you know you’ll regret it later? sometimes I might :( What are you currently sitting/laying on? my desk chair Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? no but I had a crush on one of them for a moment What do you plan to be doing 2 hours from now? eating? Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? not Halloween What time did you go to bed last night? early and immediately fallen asleep which never happens to me but I was so exhausted that I was falling on my face while I was blow drying my hair When was the last time it rained? yesterday or day before Have you ever made yourself throw up?  no way in hell When was the last time you went camping? middle school? Are you currently wearing anything orange? am not Do you know anyone who is a nurse? neighbor Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? lapdog Are you currently wearing any jewelry? nope Was any of it given to you? - What was the worst thing to happen to you today? health issues, annoying people, nothing new? Do you know anyone who plays guitar? I tried myself Did anyone tell you that you looked nice today? mentioned that in this survey so look above How many missed calls have you had today? two Did you graduate high school within the last 3 years? it’s been over 5 years  If not, will you graduate within the next 3 years? not applicable as you can see Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? Christmas Do you have any money on yourself at the moment? mhm Do you sleep in the nude? nope Do you ever walk around the house naked if no one is home? neither What is your favorite way to spend a cool autumn night? sleeping duh! Where was the last place you slept other than your house? hospital Do you have any big plans for the weekend? work in progress, we’ll see, deciding  How many relationships have you been in so far this year? like 1 Have you ever dated someone who had a child? pfft, I dislike kids so... Are you taller than 5'6"? I’m smol 

When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?: this year

How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): 30+ years

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest store?: ~10 minutes

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?: 25 or something

Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder?: monkey for a second

Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?: majority of society

Do you like The Rolling Stones?: prefer Depeche Mode

What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately?: life

How old were you in 1996? 4

How old will you be in 2026? won’t live that long but 34 What song is playing? Mosimann & MARUV - Mon Amour

Are you better at math or art? art Science or History? science, I’m bad at remembering dates and names

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? my town

Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? I wouldn’t be able to do such a thing What do you think of the 1980’s? cool :) Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? me and plants How old is the cellphone you have right now? couple years old What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? AA as I’m a woman - dodaj jedno A i będziemy anonimowymi alkoholikami

Are both your parents still living? they are  Can you do a handstand? used to Is it after 11am? it’s almost 5 pm What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent on the phone? talking or doing other stuff? How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? do I even own any?... Are you on any prescribed medications? plan to be sadly Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? doubt it, thought about septum as a teenager but no longer want it

How many days until Christmas? months Is your mom over 50? she is  How old were you 7 years ago? 21 Do you know what ‘C'est la vie’ means? even tho I don’t know this language  Are you wearing anything red? leggings Do you live in an apartment? house Do you wish on dandelions? I blow them but don’t wish on them Are you drinking anything right now? I’m going to  About how tall is your father? taller than me Do you know anyone who has lived to be 100+? not personally Have you had your birthday yet this year? in February Do you read your horoscope on a regular basis? nah Do you like the color yellow? it’s one of my fav colors Are you an aunt or uncle? yes What is your hair like at the moment? fine What would you name be if your last name was the color of your shirt? Black If you could find out how you would die, would you want to know? yasss but what about date? Has anyone ever told you you should be a model? with my height? r u serious? Who is the artist/band you’re listening to at the moment? Boy Epic Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? pocket and poster type If you’re single, do you wish you were in a relationship? am in a relationship Were you born in the 1980’s? 90s What was your first favorite movie? animated Robin Hood with a fox and Jumanji also Goonies What was your first trip to the emergency room for? not counting being born too early - I was choking due to the fact I got wrong meds for my lungs, later I ended up in ER as an adult for stomachache (took me in an ambulance) Where was the first place you went today? store What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? dream that I had Do you remember the first time you spent the night away from home? grandma’s apartment but not exact night as I was just a child What was the last movie you rented? I srsly can not remember Why did you last get angry? neighbor is mowing grass... every single day for whole day long How long ago was your last birthday? half year ago Do you enjoy helping people move or do you not like it? I’ve never helped anyone move 

Have you been taking more or less surveys as of recently? less as I was absent