#shittycgi

[riotatthemovies]

   The Halloween Family 2019

Ending a trilogy of awful kids movie reviews and setting the way for next week starts my 60 days of Halloween goodness.

1 Let me say I watch this garbage for you so you don't have to. But sometimes I wish you could see them too just so you know just how shockingly bad they really are.

2 HOLY FUCK THIS MOVIE WAS SHOCKINGLY SHIT! I dare to call it a fake movie. So cheap either the makers are crazy or legit assholes. Such a cheap trick I am laughing so hard I'm crying.In recent years their have been these dollar store CGI  animated ripp off movies and some oddly original ones that are made as cheap as ALL FUCKIN FUCK! 

I keep expecting set subtitles to appear and a button the the screen that says skip intro. The characters only stand there and talk to each other looking like cut scenes from a video game and by video game I mean like a PS1 or N64 cut scene at best. Every Character just talks as there eyes blink and hands move up and down repetitively as the camera moves around them to make it look like maybe the scene is going somewhere. The only characters that move are the main two characters who are walking forward constantly as they talk. Remember the hype behind FOOD FIGHT which is considered the ultimate cartoon for bad movie lovers and just how bad it is? Well this is fucking worse and so are almost everything this animation company has made. Shockingly bad.

The plot is basically Wizard of Oz as Zombie Larry and Mummy Fred go on a walk up the Dead Brick Road to find the Magic Tree Ghoul that will grant them wishes. The Wicked Witch of the Dead Selma things they want wishes to destroy her so he sends universal monsters to stop them. Let me stop here and again I warn you this is not as fun as this sounds. As two dopey characters constantly walk forward in what is obviously a pre set 3d map. The animations were set to just move forward and sort of move their mouths as they edit it to look like maybe they are saying or reacting to the dialogue.  The repetition will make you smack your self and the dumbness of the conversions will weaken your brain that after a while it will seem normal.  

The first review on imdb has a father spitting that he paid money for this movie and he turned it off 10 minutes in as his kid couldn't give a shit either. Well I never stop a movie I start.. I just make food and take a shit or two during it. 

It has a cover that looks much more fun then the movie but has a tag line that says Laugh till you Coffin... What the fuck?

As our "heroes" Larry and Fred go on their adventures they are stopped by Universal monsters Dracula and Frankensteins monster.  One at a time of course. But they just stand in front of them and talk so long the monsters get depressed and just let them past. The Monsters only have the ability to move their mouths. It really feels like there was a playing fight scene we could have played but we missed it.Worst they make Frankensteins monster talk like Shrek on purpose. Ugh this could be subconsciously dulling peoples brain and will lead to more flat earthers.

They meet a Grim reaper who just does a repeating cabbage patch dance making this the shittiest Team Fortress slash Fortnite cartoon ever. But I guess with the hits those cartoons getting so many hits online no one blame some religious produced cartoon thinking its ok. 

With a message that says you should except that youre a monster and doomed to stay in monsterland and stop trying to join the rest of the world and expand your life... basically this movie tells you to accept who you are and stay with your own kind... wait umm am I reading into this too much? That makes this sound like a very conservative cartoon... fuck I dunno my brain is mush. 

They do meet a pumpkin head man whos head is rotting which makes him smell like farts. His name is simply Big Head and I really feel for this guy... I really really relate... fart.

This is free on several streaming services but the dvd is for sale for 15 bucks at wal mart so that means someone somewhere paid money for this. To that all I can say is... HAHA FOOLS ,YOU FUCKING FOOLS!!!

 I’m gonna wake up and Im gonna be stuck in Halloweenland and cursed to constantly walk in repeating motion for ever... I just know it.. I’m fucking doomed.