gotvodka

[gotvodka]

[gotvodka]

[gotvodka]

Wishing you a happy solstice (winter or summer, as the case may be). Unless you're a flat earther, in which case, Happy Inexplicable Phenomenon!

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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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imagine if every chapter in a real book ended with an author's note

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i love saving images onto my cell phone. it’s like picking berries

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Please, not people in the fandom suggesting that Japanese people don't know how to spell names of Japanese people in Eng...

I get that a lot of people prefer 'Yuuri' over 'Yuri', because it's easier to use than Yuri K. and Yuri P., but yk, that was the idea... They have the same name - it's in the title, 'Yuri on ICE'. The correct, canon spelling are 'Yuri' and 'Victor', there isn't a single instance when it was different in canon...

[gotvodka]

They say judas is in hell because he betrayed jesus but thats actualy a misconception, that was gods plan and so he didnt do anything wrong. Judas however IS in hell because god thinks he made his son gay

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[gotvodka]

The problem: you are Michael Bublé, it is 2011 and you would like to make a Christmas album. Your producers want you to sing the classic Christmas song "Santa, Baby," but if you sing it as intended, it's gonna come off as, like, super gay

The proposed solution: you will rewrite the lyrics to the song to imply a platonic friendship between yourself and the man in red, making Santa a real bro who's gonna help you get laid by some hunnies, with cool, masculine gifts like a steel blue convertible, a yacht and tickets to a Canadian hockey game

The reality: the combination of the eroticism of your voice and the inherently sexual vibes of the song means you create a story about a closeted gay guy desperately repressing his desire to - as the kids say - fuck that old man, no homo'ing your way through asking him to trim your tree, promising you'll be such a good boy if he treats you well, and begging him to slide down your chimney

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FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

[gotvodka]

*looking for a midnight snack* *gets flashbanged*

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