#i dunno guys this is what my brain came up with so here you are

[legobiwan]

Mario and Luigi "no one is going to hurt you"?

This one...ballooned. I tried to get it out last night, but fell asleep during the endeavor. This is an attempt to explain/rationalize/make sense of some of the behaviors we see during TTYD, especially as it concerns Mario and Luigi. I'll say right now, neither brother is his best at this point, and I have a bit of a hypothesis as to where each of them may have been, emotionally, during this game. I think TTYD is a turning point for Mario, while Luigi's emotional lynchpin comes, to no surprise, after the events of SPM. Anyway, I'm not going to try and edit this any more than the perfunctory attempt I made. Here you go. A Mario-centric drabble that is most definitely not a drabble.

~~~~~~~~~

My dear Mario,

I have finally learned what the legendary treasure is. It is the spirit of a demon! The X-Nauts plan to revive this thousand-year-old monster and use its power to take over the world! They’re collecting the Crystal Stars so they can open the Thousand-Year-Door..they’ll find this demon’s spirit..but the only thing that can keep it locked away is the Crystal Stars themselves! You must not let them get the Crystal Stars! Please, Mario...you must put a stop to their horrible plans!

-Princess Peach-

Mario rubbed at his eyes, scraping away a week’s work of fatigue. 

Shit.

When Peach had first told him the X-Nauts (and what a stupid name that was) were planning on taking over the world, he had laughed it off. Ever since he had landed in the Mushroom Kingdom, every fifth jabroni from the castle to the Darklands had been some kind of aspiring universal tyrant, babbling on and on about taking over realms, how their new regime would be the mightiest, how they should fear me or fear my army or fear my power, all accompanied by cackling laughter suitable for Saturday morning cartoon. The threats were white noise to him now, another meaningless boast in the endless series of hopped-up, dent-headed, peas-for-brains bad guys who popped out of the brickwork like potholes on the Cross Bronx.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t been taking this whole adventure seriously before this. After all, the last time he got sent on a quest to find stars, he ended up facing off against an army of sentient weaponry bent on…well, yeah. World domination.. But those guys had actually meant business, less wanting to rule the world than reforge it, in the most literal sense, in their image. Hell, Geno wouldn’t have been sent down all the way down from Star Heaven or whatever it had been unless Smithy and his crew were the real thing.

But now Peach was kidnapped and demons were involved. And they needed the Crystal Stars to trap the demon, but those same stars would also release the demon in the first place. Mario pulled his cap close to his eyes, sagging against the public notice board in Rogueport Square, the rotten wood protesting under his added weight. Across the plaza, the gallows swayed in tandem with an oncoming breeze, the smell of spoiled fish and brine wafting over and mixing with the lingering odor of cheap booze and sweat that was the hallmark of Rogueport’s business center. 

Delightful.

Vivian had remarked, once they resurfaced from that whole mess in Twilight Town, that the port city had a certain grimy charm to it. Mario huffed, kicking away a crumpled can of Banditbar Ale. Yeah, this place had charm, all right. All the charm of a Staten Island landfill. 

“Why yes, Vivian, I spent close to twenty years as the premiere actress with the Mushroom Repertory Theater, although back when we first started, it was known only as “The Toad Troupe.” Flurrie laughed in her distinctive trill, her voice resonating from what Mario placed as the archway leading to the west side of Rogueport. “A silly name, but our founder was devoid of that creative spark that captures the imagination and whisks the audience away on a journey with you. Of course, he was a rather talented fundraiser.”

Mario grunted, sliding around to the backside of the noticeboard, which was covered in layers of colorful graffiti and three decades worth of dirt. One bright, recent message spelled out a rather graphic enthusiasm for certain body parts, ones Mario wasn’t even certain Goombas had. Not that he was about to ask. Half the population here would shank him for even thinking of the question. Goombella would drop a book on his head.

He slumped at the thought of the petite, boisterous grad student. Goombella, Flurrie, Koops - even Yoshnar. Not one of them had questioned it, had shown any suspicion that the Mario they were celebrating with, were feasting with in Twilight Town was not, in fact, their supposed friend. Sure, they commented here and there that Mario was acting a little strange, was a bit more bombastic than normal, but no one stood up and announced, that’s not our guy!

Granted, he had only known these people for a week. Not nearly enough time to get the measure of a person in the real world, but that had never hindered his traveling companions before. Geno and Mallow seemed to think the world of him.

Mario curled his fist. He should have interrogated Doopliss when he had the chance, should have pulled the truth right out from under his smug-faced bedsheets. Was it a mimicry of only the body, or did Doopliss’s magic also copy the whole of a man, as well?

And why did his friends believe that egotistical, grandstanding fraud had been him?

“Where is Mario?” Flurrie asked, her voice closer now than it had been a minute ago. She had a habit of elongating her vowels to the point of absurdity, so Mario became Mahrio, emphasis on the ah. He had given up trying to correct her after the first hour of their acquaintance. Some things weren’t worth the fight.

Mario snuck a careful look around the edge of the noticeboard, biting his lip as a mess of dirty splinters poked through his skin. His traveling companions were gathered near the entrance to the Toad Bros Bazaar, Koops worrying at his hands as he fretted about Mario being kidnapped, or worse, continuing to Keelhaul Key without them. 

“Don’t worry, Koops,” Vivian soothed. “I’m sure he’s just gathering information or reading an electronic message from Peach.”

Goombella looked up from her notebook with a small frown. “I hope it’s not important intel. I need to write that data down so I can report back to Professor Frankly.”

“I can’t go back to Petalburg without…” The voices faded out of earshot, the door to the shop closing with a brash jingle. 

Mario unclenched his teeth, letting out an unsteady breath. He’d have to come back with them at some point. Maybe Doopliss saw something in him he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge, but Mario knew he’d be in way over his head if tried to take on the X-Nauts and this demon alone. Do like you always do, Mario. Suck it up, put on a smile, and say as little as possible. It had gotten him this far, whatever that counted for. Now, as for this Flavio -

“Hey, bro!” 

A hand clapped itself on his shoulder. Enemy, his mind blared, Mario grabbing at the interloper’s wrist, spinning the man around until he slammed into the announcement board with a pained “Oof!” Not one to let an advantage go to waste, Mario lunged forward, pushing his forearm into the man’s chest, close enough to his attacker’s trachea to leave no question as to the unspoken threat.

“Mario, what the hell?” A familiar voice squeaked. 

Anxiety spiked in Mario’s gut. Luigi? What in the world was his brother doing in -

Mario closed his eyes, letting out a soft hiss between his teeth as the realization hit. Damnit. The Waffle Kingdom. Princess Cannoli or whatever her name was. Mario released his hold on his brother, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a step back. I don’t have time for this. Luigi shouldn’t have been in Rogueport at all, somehow making his way to the crime-infested city in the days after Mario had received the letter from Peach asking him to come investigate a treasure map.  

And look where that got her. Kidnapped by aliens with crappy names. He knew Luigi could handle himself, or at least, he could in Brooklyn. Coming to the Mushroom Kingdom had done a number on his brother’s confidence, however, and whatever predilection for gangly awkwardness Luigi had had before had grown since they vanished from New York. 

He didn’t have time to protect his brother and save Peach and save the world from a demon. 

“Bro?” Luigi reached a tentative hand towards Mario’s shoulder. 

It didn’t add up, this whole Waffle Kingdom business. Not that he didn’t believe in Luigi, but nothing over the past year had convinced him his brother was ready to set out on his own, the whole incident with the Boos aside. Now he was on a quest which, on the surface, sounded far too close to Mario’s own exploits in trying to gather the seven crystal stars. He knew his brother could be insecure, but this was really…

Mario’s eyes went wide as he slapped away his brother’s hand, planting his feet into a defensive stance, fists raised. 

It was Doopliss. It had to be. Had the identity-pilfering ghost been following him from the beginning? Or were those Shadow Sirens working for him, feeding him enough tidbits about Luigi to make a convincing copy? That would account for his brother’s strange tales, the majority he didn’t have the stamina to focus through, there being too much on his mind with all the plans and kidnappings and cursed chests.

“I beat you before, you son of a bitch, and I’ll do it again,” Mario growled, pushing his sleeves up his arms. “Give him back.” He needed to get this over with now, get his brother in his own body as soon as possible so Mario could track down the last stars. Damnit, why did Luigi have to wander off like this?

“Woah!” Luigi held both his palms up at shoulder height, scrambling backwards, knocking over a trio of half-filled bottles with a bright clang as he came up against the graffiti-covered noticeboard. A pungent yellow stream seeped from one of the fallen bottles, trickling into the eroded mortar between uneven cobblestones. 

“No one’s going to hurt you, Mario. There’s - “ Luigi grabbed a tuft of hair peeking out from under his cap. “There’s no one here but me. Well, me and Torque. And the rest of Rogueport.” Luigi gave an awkward laugh. “And, you know, Torque’s not here here, he’s inside the bar. But you get what I mean.” He gave his brother an uncertain smile, holding two thumbs-up in front of his chest. 

“Where have you been? What were you doing before this?” Mario demanded, voice rising.

The miserable droop in his brother’s shoulders was unmistakable. “I…told you already? The volcano, the sacrifice? Blooey and Jerry and the bridal dress? I mean, I know it’s not as important as what you’re doing…” Luigi trailed off, finding sudden interest in the variety of grisly stains tattooed on the ground, tracing a disturbingly crimson outline with his foot.

Mario grit his teeth. That was something Luigi would say, right down to the shaky little inflections. Was his brother always this insecure? Had he been ignoring something deeper going on with Luigi for the past year? Something unpleasant curdled in Mario’s gut. He hadn’t wanted to face the fact that Doopliss mirrored his identity, warts and all. Was this the Luigi his brother saw in his reflection every day? Did Luigi even know how sad this looked?

Maybe it was Doopliss. Then again, from what little he remembered from his brother’s stories about his supposed Waffle Kingdom exploits, his own traveling companions were less than impressed with Luigi’s tactics, which seemed to be the literal definition of stumbling into good luck. 

As much as he hated to think it, Doopliss probably had better things to do than wreak havoc on a quest that may or may not have its basis in reality. It was true Luigi had made an astonishing number of enemies in a short period, but Princess Eclair seemed like something straight out of one of those adventure books they had liked so much as kids. He wasn’t thrilled at the idea of his brother hanging around Rogueport, but as long as all this Waffle Kingdom stuff was harmless - well, it would at least keep Luigi out of the underlevels and far, far away from the Thousand Year Door and whatever evil lay behind it.

The communication square in his back pocket vibrated. It was probably Goombella demanding to know where the hell he was. Mario brought his arms to his side, stretching out his fingers. He needed to focus. Whatever happened with Doopliss was in the past and he could waste away his time navel-gazing once this entire ordeal was over. 

Letting out a shuddering breath, Mario stepped forward, placing a firm hand on Luigi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Luigi. It’s - “ Mario pursed his lips, weighing his words. “A lot has happened in the last few days.”

Luigi let out a watery chuckle, running his sleeve under his nose. “Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged, gaze still fixed to the ground. 

Great, like your brother needed another kick to the ego. Way to go, asshole. Mario dug his fingers into Luigi’s shoulder. Maybe Doopliss’s replication of him hadn’t been that far off the mark, after all. 

“Hey, Lou,” he gave his brother a gentle shake. “Why don’t you introduce me to your new friend? Squort or Morque, was it?”

“Torque,” his brother mumbled.

“Torque! Great! Let’s go meet him!” Mario said too brightly, taking his brother by the arm, all but dragging him towards Podley’s bar. 

“Come on, Mario, you don’t have to - “ Luigi huffed, trying to pull himself out of his brother’s octopus-like grip. “I know you don’t want to - “

Mario shoved the door to the bar open, wrangling Luigi inside, depositing his brother next to a Spike Top with a wrench on his head. The little creature made a series of rapid clicks with its mouth, somehow conveying annoyance without uttering a single intelligible word or facial expression. The Spike Top glowered at his brother, if the dead, beady-eyed stare could be called that, before turning around with an exaggerated shuffle.

Six to one, that’s Torque, Mario mused, feeling a momentary pang of sympathy for his brother. Oh Luigi, we have to talk about this one of these days. But that was for later. After the crystal stars, after Peach was safe, after the world was saved. Right now, he needed a minute to collect himself, to form a plan to find Flavio and get to Keelhaul Key, and an excuse to give his companions for his sudden absence.

“Hey Lou, is that your friend?” Mario gestured at the little Spike Top. He didn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “How about you tell me that story?”

Luigi eyed Torque warily, the Spike Top making a slight turn so its face was again visible. Luigi gave a sheepish wave in his direction, Torque responding with a loud click of its jaw and a series of buzzes that reminded Mario of a horde of angry cicadas. 

“Heh, he’s excited to hear it again, too,” Mario pressed on, willing himself to be oblivious to the mounting tension between the odd pair. 

“Well,” Luigi rubbed at the back of his neck, avoiding looking anywhere near Torque. “If you’re sure…”

“Surer than sure!” Mario exclaimed with fake enthusiasm, throwing his hands up like he was tossing two baseballs into the air. 

His brother gave a small smile, slipping his thumbs behind the straps of his overalls as he uncurled his defensive hunch, voice dropping into a more comfortable storytelling baritone. “Okay, then. It all started like this. Just as our boat arrived on Circuit Island…”

Mario let his brother’s tale wash over him, making appropriate sounds of acknowledgement when necessary. He knew this lapse would come back to bite him in the ass later, but he’d rather have a world he could fight with his brother in than no world at all. He took in a long breath through his nose, holding it at the top for five seconds before releasing it in the opposite manner, careful to not make it sound as if he were sighing in annoyance at his brother’s narrative.

Finding Flavio was his first task. And messaging Goombella, although he was tempted to put the inevitable tongue-lashing off for another few minutes. Flavio first, he decided. The name was familiar, and sworn he had heard it bandied about when he first arrived in Rogueport, barreling through every shop and back-alley headquarters he could find in a blind panic. He knew he needed to find someone who worked on a ship, some sea-faring type, although in this town, that could be anybody from a pirate to a fortune teller to a criminal on the lam. 

It wasn’t like he could just walk around asking if anyone had seen a man with a peg-leg and eyepatch. For as quirky as the Mushroom Kingdom could be, it rarely conformed to his Earth-bound stereotypes. 

“The Skuuuuul Captaaaaaaaaain!” a boisterous voice warbled from a corner table. Mario made a perfunctory nod at his brother - yes, I’m listening - scanning each of the bar patrons until he landed on a short, well-dressed man teetering on the back two legs of his chair. 

“Festiiiivaaaaal!” he bellowed in discordant tones, hugging a bright red gemstone in the shape of a skull with one atm, raising a half-full mug of Chuckola with the other.

Then again, maybe he didn’t need to go around asking about pirates, seeing as one landed in his proverbial lap. The knots in Mario’s stomach unraveled, each freed line replaced by a bit of fluttering optimism he hadn’t felt since his victories in the Glitzville Pit. 

Doopliss was out of the picture. His companions were back and his brother, if not exactly happy, was at least distracted and, more importantly, safe. The man with the fluffy white cravat and maroon jacket caressed the cheekbones of the skull gemstone, singing another loud nonsense verse into its ear. 

Mario let himself smile. He was going to come out on top of this, hell and high water.

[carlsangel]

VIRGINITY (PART TWO)

carl grimes x fem!reader

(you and carl get some alone time.)

tags: p in v sex, unprotected sex (don’t recommend yall)

masterlist here!

read part one here!

The day you lost your virginity, everything seemed so…weird. Rick and Michonne had planned to go on a run for a couple of days and the two of you were left with Judith. You’d both asked for advice from Glenn and Maggie and while you got some pretty good advice, Carl got an awkward conversation and a condom.

This was your chance. That morning, you and Carl woke up early to say goodbye to them. “The two of you are gonna be here with Judith, okay? I have Daryl sort of keepin an eye on you so behave.” Rick tells you, packing some cans of food from the pantry into his bag. You look to Carl with sort of an annoyed look. He returns the same.

“Understand?” You both turn to Rick and nod. “Yeah we got it.” Carl replies. Now you had to figure out a way to get Daryl off your back as well. “I trust ‘em.” Michonne approaches from behind you, putting her hand on your shoulder while giving you a smile. You smile at her back, knowing you’re kinda lying to her. But you’re a horny teenager. You gotta do what you gotta do.

“Well…I’m sure they appreciate that. We gotta go.” Rick tells Michonne, zipping up his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. He makes his way through the house, the rest of you following after. You give them their hugs and say goodbye. Once the door slams shut, Judith starts crying. Screaming at the top of her fucking lungs.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You hold your head in your hands, unprepared for the headache about to overtake your brain. “Hey, don’t be stressed. We can use this to our advantage.” Carl smiles and picks up Judith as she sobbed, also grabbing a couple toys before walking out the front door. You watch him walk all the way over to the armory to hand her off to Olivia.

When he disappeared into the faraway house, you turned around to find something to do. When you do turn around, you’re met with Daryl. “Jesus what the fuck!” You practically jump back, Daryl just looks at you like you’re crazy. “Don’t do that, holy shit- where did you come from!?” You put your hand over your heart and try your best to catch your breath. “The back door.” He just stares at you till you’re done. You finally catch your breath.

“Do I seriously need to watch over the two of ya or can I go work on my bike?” He asks, you sort of hesitate for some odd reason, you felt bad for lying. “We’ll be fine. Probably gonna make some soup or something and I might go to the range later. I dunno what he’ll do, probably clean his gun.” You shock yourself with how elaborate that lie was. He nods. “Okay. I’ll see ya.” He made his way out the front door.

─── ⋆⋅ ꩜ ⋅⋆ ───

A little later, Carl came back and met with you in your guys’ room where you were changing. He closed the door behind him and you turn around to smile at him, your shirt sliding off your arms. “Whatcha doing?” You ask with an endearing smile. He walks a bit closer. “Looking at you.” You giggle at his response. “You mean watching me change? That’s a bit perverted don’t you think?” You rummage through your closet for another shirt.

“I don’t think so.” He slowly comes up behind you, sliding his hands over your waist. He lodges his face into the crook of your neck where begins to plant harsh kisses. “Stop looking.” He tells you, lowering your arms from the clothes you had in your hand. You turn to face him and he smiles once you do. “You’re so pretty.” He puts his hand up to hold your cheek while he pulls you in for another kiss. This one was soft, the kind of kiss that really meant something. A feeling in your stomach told you things would only get better from here.

The kisses continue, only getting more intense and eventually his tongue slips into your mouth. You let out a small moan and you can feel him smile at that as he kissed you even more. You feel him pull you a little and you follow, your mouths still intertwined. He quickly spins you and plops you on the bed. He seemed confident on the outside, little did you know he was extremely nervous. You sit back with your arms propping you up and he leans in to kiss you again, his hands going straight to the buttons of your jeans. It’s quickly unbuttoned and he starts to tug them off you, standing to discard his own shirt as well.

Looking at him like this drives you insane. His messy hair, swollen lips, and the very obvious boner confined by his jeans. You were both scared and excited. Carl on the other hand was just really fucking horny. He got on the bed above you, one of his knees between your legs rutting against your clothed cunt. You let out yet another small moan and this prompts him to pull away and reach around to your back to unfasten your bra. Or try at least.

He was new to this, you can’t blame him. He fiddles with the clasp in a frustrated manner. “I just wanna see you.” He frowns, upset at himself for not being able to successfully take your bra off. You look at him with a sly smile. He shuts his eyes and rests his forehead on yours, his hand freezing in place as he accepted defeat. “Could you help me please?” He has a defeated tone and you laugh, undoing the clasp of your bra, letting it slide down your arms. While you did so, he worked on undressing you completely and then you waited for him to undress himself.

You’d palmed him once, you knew he wasn’t small but christ. Now you were definitely nervous. He smiled at you, basking in your beauty before leaning down to kiss a trail all the way from your stomach, up to your chest, to your neck. He was so unbelievably happy. He leaned back up to kiss you some more, his hand wandering down to your thigh, pulling it up. Your other thigh moves up instinctively and he pulls away to look down to actually do this.

He holds your legs at the back of your knees while guides himself to where he believes is the right spot. Glenn was a fucking liar. He has no idea what he’s doing. Maggie was right. Jesus this was so awkward. “Um…i-is this right or-” He stutters hoping you’d know how to guide him. You did, you helped him but not without accidentally sliding his tip against your clit, extracting a sharp moan from the both of you. Once he found your hole, he looked at you before slowly pushing into you.

Your mouth drops slightly at the feeling, his eyebrows furrow in pleasure. “This okay?” He asked quietly, stopping to hear your response. “Mhm s’fine just keep going slow.” He nodded and kept pushing, eventually bottoming out. He was breathing heavily, and you were too but he seemed to be on another planet. “A-are you okay?” You sort of giggle. His eyes are shut and he nods. “Just really tight that’s all.” He says breathlessly, gripping your thighs like he was never gonna let go. “Mkay. you can start moving if-if you’re ready.”

Well he’s been ready. He begins to slowly stroke in and out of you, he opens his eyes and leans down to kiss you. You moan into his mouth and you wrap your arms around him. He props himself up to hover over you, still pressing his length into your now, sopping heat. He leans his head back into your neck, moaning against your skin while you leave indents on his back from your nails. “You’re so good, so warm n wet. l-love you s-so much. Please.” He rambled, not even sure why he was saying please.

You could only moan in response, muttering a small “I love you too”back. He started to thrust a bit faster, his pace only increasing. It got to the point where you couldn’t even speak. You could tell he was close to cumming, you were too. Everything felt so good, his affection was only making it ten times better. He was so sweet with you, he really wanted you to feel good and not just him. You were glad he was the one taking your virginity.

“Carl-f-fuck I’m gonna cum.” You tell him, your nails digging into his skin deeper than before which causes him to groan. “Mhm me too.” His voice sounds somewhat strained. You clench around him before cumming all over his cock, him following soon after. He bottoms out inside of you one last time, hitting your g-spot perfectly, causing you to both moan loudly.

He smiles satisfactorily, pulling you into his embrace while he breathes heavily. “You’re so perfect.” He presses a kiss to your jaw and smiles against your skin. “You are. I feel so good.” You say basically astounded, reaching your hand up to rest in his hair. You spend a moment, just breathing and enjoying the afterglow.

Suddenly, Carl pulls away from your neck, and looks up as if he had heard something. You eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“What is it?”

“We forgot the condom.”

a/n: ok cuz i’m scared and nervous to post this but imma do it anyway THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT i hope it’s okayyy i feel like it was so sped up and im mad about it but let’s ignore that 0-0 hope you like ittttttttttt (im so scared right now you shut up)

ppl to tag: @zomb-1-egutzz

(sorry if u didn’t wanna be tagged for this LMAO)

[tan1shere]

Look after you

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: currently in the situation where I was slightly drunk earlier, my ass passed tf out for a good 4 hours 😭 but like I woke up and my head slightly hurts (I found out that I had spilt some of my drink in my hair- it was a night ill say that 😃) and it made me think how Els would be while taking care of her drunk girlfriend. Hope you guys like this regardless, I kinda made this more comforting as I need that right now fr 😔✊🏻

Summary: Ellie taking care of her drunk girlfriend, but why is she even drunk in the first place ?

Warnings: drinking, swearing ? Slight angst in a way ??? Mentions of depression. Just cute fluffyness tho :) - this is set in where they are still in that little town ♡

Masterlist

The smell of alcohol was all that could be smelt in the small bar you and Dina were at. You two decided to go out for the night, the both of you getting absolutely wasted. When Jesse came to pick the both of you up he was shocked at the two of you for drinking so much. "You two are insane." He said as he walked with you guys. "I'm so sane." You'd slur. Which earned a hum from Dina. "I'm going to Ellies, later." You said as you stumbled off. You go over to her little garage of a home, just clumsily opening the door. Everything was spinning, your mind was so dizzy but oh boy did you feel good. As you enter you see Ellie on her bed reading a comic. She looks up at you. "Oh Jesus you look drunk as a skunk." She begins to get up. "I dunno what you're on about." You mumble, heading over to her couch feeling as if your legs were about to give out. She sighs. "Did Dina get this wasted too?" You don't answer only shrug.

She awaits for an answer when she hears giggling, she looks at you slumped on the sofa, laughing like a little weirdo. It only makes her smile tho. "Come on, let's get that makeup off." You look at her as she speaks. "Noo I'm comfortable!" You say, moving slightly on the old couch. "And I'm not taking 'noo' for an answer, I know you. You'll hate yourself in the morning." You groan, but still staying in your spot. "Don't make me come over there." She begins to walk over, when suddenly you feel a presence on top of you. "Ughhh get off." You weakly try to push her, this just makes her laugh. "That's cute. But don't make me have to bring it over here, I'll go into the bathroom and grab those cloths don't put it past me." She puts a finger in your face, you then look at it, going to bite it gently. "Ay!" She exclaims pulling it away. This makes those previous giggles return.

"You're such a fucking menace you know that." You hum as she says that. "You love my menaceness." She shakes her head at you. "That's not even a word, you drunkie." You open your eyes up fully to look at her. "Well I made it one." Ellie rolls her eyes at how silly that statement was, making her laugh once again. She gets up eventually going to leave for the bathroom. "Nawww." "Stop your whining I'll be right back." Your drunken mind finds that funny, starting to smile and giggle as you replay her words in your brain. "You loveeee when I'm whiney." She raises her brows, coming over to you with a warm cloth. "Don't start with me Missy." She says as she sits on the couch, moving your legs so they're resting on her lap. "You didn't deny it." You sing. "If you don't shut up now you really will be whining."

You give her a silly little glare. But it did make you shut up. She begins to bring the face cloth over your makeup, wiping slightly. You being your annoying drunk self goes to swat her hand away. "You little monster." "Hey! I'm not little." You huff, but she ignores all these antics going for your face again. "No. No touching, I'm not even speaking to you right now." Which puts a smile on her face because you were indeed speaking to her. "Is that so? May I know why?" You shake your head. "No, you figure it out since you're so big and smart." You huff again. "Cuz I called you little huh?" You just give her a look. "God you're pleasant when you're drunk." She says sarcastically. "Say you're sorry for calling me short and then you can do whatever it is you were doing." She gives you a be for real look, rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. Knowing you are drunk still, just going to do so anyways.

"I'm so very sorry I called you little. There." You ponder for a second. "Nope, didn't say what i told you to." This makes her let out a huff. Earning a cheeky smile on your face. "God you're trouble." "Say it." You giggle. "I am so incredibly sorry that I called you short. Happy?" She says. "Yes very." You could feel the tiredness taking over, she notices. "Come on, let's sit up." She goes to try and get you to do so, making you groan as your head started to hurt from the dizziness. Not long after she was done with taking your makeup off, going into the bathroom to put the cloth on the small railing she had. When you suddenly felt like- "Ellie.." You began. "Yes my drunkie." But she didn't realize you had gone serious as your tone was still slurred. She comes out to look at you. "Baby?" Her brows furrow. "I think I'm gunna-" you don't even need to finish that sentence before she's over there helping you up and into the bathroom where you immediately puke in the toilet.

The groan you let out makes her heart hurt as she knows you hate puking. She holds your hair back as you continue to chuck up your guts, feeling slight tears spring from your eyes. "I hate puking." She gets on the floor with you. "I know babygirl. I'm sorry I got home so late tonight, even tho that doesn't matter I should've gone down to see you." There was a silence as she began to stroke some hair out of your face. "Whyd you drink so much love." She asks softly, you just shrug in return. Honestly you don't know why. You'd been feeling a little off lately and you thought this night with Dina, having some drinks would ease the slight sadness inside you, but if anything it's made you feel worse. "Talk to me sweetheart." That makes you look at her, feeling tears again. This time they were genuinely sad ones, not out of pain from puking.

"I don't know whats wrong with me." You sob, one thing Ellie hates is when you cry, she just wishes she could take that pain away for you. "Nothings wrong with you my girl, nothing." She says, cupping your face gently. "I don't even know why I'm sad, i- I have no reason to be." You hiccup not only from the crying but also from the fact your still just a tiny bit drunk. Which makes her say this. "Why don't we talk about this when you're fully with it yeah? I think you've had a long night and rest is the best thing right now." You nod, agreeing. "I'm going to get you some water ok?" You let out a small mhmmm in understanding. Getting up with her. She walks you over to her bed, carefully laying you down on your side, brushing any loose hair out of your face and making sure your comfortable. She came back with a glass, getting you to sit up a bit and drink it. But you were worried to, as you didn't want to puke again.

"Drink it, please. You lost alot of fluids you need it." You know you do, but it wasn't easy. "I promise you won't puke, why don't you suck on some ice instead." This makes you feel happy inside. "Ice chips?" She smiles at you. "Ice chips." All you wanted was to give her a big hug and a kiss. She truly knew you and you couldn't thank her enough for being such a great girlfriend. "I love you Ellie." She grabs your hand smiling more. "I love you baby. Let me get the ice hm?" You nod softly at her words. As she goes to get it you sit and think. You really didn't know why you were so upset inside lately. Maybe it was the dull weather or another one of your depressive episodes. You did miss Ellie though, she has been so busy lately you feel like you haven't really been with her. Maria always getting her to go on patrols, poor Ellie never has a day off, even if she loves what she does everyone needs a break from time to time.

She comes back over with a tiny bowl and some small ice chunks. "Here you go pretty girl." You thank her going to suck on the first one. She sits on the bed just looking at you admiringly, putting any annoying piece of hair out of your face. "Els?" "Hmm?" She hums gently. "Why don't you have a day off from patrol baby." She softens her look as you say that. "Get Maria to ask someone else, you're always working your ass off." And it all clicked on why you said what you said earlier. "I'm so sorry." You get a bit confused by her apology. "I should've seen you were getting depressed again." That makes you look into your lap fiddling with your hands, but she grabs them. "Look at me baby." And you do. "From now on I'll take the breaks i need and to spend that time with you. I realize I do work alot, and I don't really need to- but I'll tell her that from now on." You nod.

"It worries me Els." She shakes her head. "I don't ever want you to worry about that-" "but it does baby. I see how worn out you are. Take tomorrow off, please?" Which she immediately nods to. "Ofcourse, I was going to anyway. Gotta look after my hungover girl don't I?" You smile at her. "I'm still sorry tho my love. I never ever want you to feel lonely inside, and seeing you cry earlier broke me. I hate seeing you cry." You hold her hand tighter. "I'll be okay, I've got my amazing protector." She smiles big. "Dina." You try not to let out a laugh at Ellies offended face. "I'm kidding I'm kidding." "You better be, I don't see her here looking after you, do you?" You smile more. "No. Ofcourse I meant you silly." She just smiles now. "Ok good, cuz I'm just that amazing." She says, putting her arm up showing her muscle. "And your protector." That makes you laugh more going to punch her arm. "You goofball." She gives you a small glare. "Ow that hurt." She tries to look sad but she immediately laughs, making you join in with her.

Ellie then wipes the left over tears from before. "So it's a plan, no more working overtime when I truly don't need to, and spend all that time with my special girl." Nodding, as you smile. "It's a plan." "Good." She goes to lean into kiss you but you pull back, leaving her stunned. "I have puke breath.." She just lets out a pft noise. "Good God woman, I've watched you pee and crap before, a little puke isn't going to gross me out, not to mention I literally watched you hurl." You playfully roll your eyes. "You're mad." "For you? Fuck yeah." Your smile hasn't been so big in a long time. You were glad to be back. And so was Ellie.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Zombie Apocalypse: Yandere Jujutsu Kaisen (2)

Part 1

In an alarming blur of white and black, Gojo introduces himself by jumping in front of you from above

“Hi there (Y/n)! It’s a pleasure to meet you! Chu! You’re as gorgeous as your blood tests suggest.”

“Oh, my Plasma. Please stop embarrassing yourself.”

“Yeah, even I thought that sounded freaky.”

“Well (Y/n) something you’ll find about me is that I’m a freaky guy~”

“Please stop.”

Meeting the eccentric head of the fortress puts you in a spin

Dragging you to dinner and then to some of the activities the fortress has

With a blindfold that occasionally lifts to show striking blue eyes 

You nearly forget to ask the question that introduced him in the first place

“Hey Gojo?”

“Yes, Cutie-pie?”

“Uh…can I get clearance to see the other survivors.”

He gets real quiet 

his smile fades a little but not enough to mean anything

“Why Star-face? I thought you liked all of us over here?”

“I do. I just want to see my group. It’s only been a day but–”

He puts a finger on your mouth not exactly in a shushing motion

But he ushers you away from Yuuji and Megumi who were fighting over a painting

Taking you farther away from all the other members of the fortress he leads you up some stairs

Finally reaching the roof of one of the buildings you can see the other half 

A less developed place

The homes are close, filled with people, and it’s a lot less lit than the areas you’ve been

“That’s where the other survivors go…you want to go down there?”

You hesitate but not for long

“Yeah if my group is there I think we should be together.”

He sighs running a hand through his white hair before taking off his blindfold

Now you can see the way his light eyes dart over the people below 

He laughs 

“That man…with the purple vest pushed a pregnant woman into the horde when they were cornered.”

He doesn’t look at your horrified expression 

Only pointing out a few others who’ve committed something awful

“Why do you let them stay here then? If they did these horrible things?”

“Because they came with those who need us. But too many of them practically kill themselves if they get too far away. It’s like the way parasites shape the brains of their hosts.”

You didn’t like the implication

“Gojo…why do I have the yellow wristband? And why was I separated from my group?”

He pulled you into his chest rubbing his fingers into your side

“Bug, think of it as us intervening before the Parasite gets their final claws in you. Your special and perfect for saving.”

“Wait but my group isn’t–”

“Hush, love. I’m sure you're tired. Today has been a long day for you.”

He ignores any protests from you and only gushes about what you’ll do tomorrow

You stop trying because you are tired 

Letting him lead you back to your room in the tower above the fortress

“Have a fun time, you two?”

“We had a great time!”

He kisses the black-haired scientist before helping himself into your room

He goes through your closets, the bathroom, and your bag still ranting about nonsense you don’t understand

Suguru gives a comforting pat on the back

he gives you a clean version of your pajamas before bidding you goodnight

“C’mon Satoru you’ll get to bother (Y/n) tomorrow.”

“That’s right and I don’t even have work tomorrow so I’ll be with you allll day!”

“Alright, out mister. Goodnight (Y/n) we’ll tell the kids you said so too.”

“Uh, goodnight.”

When the door finally closes you’re able to think about what he said

And then you fall asleep 

Maybe he’s got a point

“So how’d it go?”

“They were asking about the wristband.”

“The whole time?”

“Only at the end, made up somethin’ about parasites.”

“Oh, their friends? I hope you didn’t suggest they were in that town.”

“Eh-I dunno! Can’t you make up something about them being immune?”

“Maybe but it’s going to be hard convincing them.”

“Who cares? We got ‘em now, right? I’d say we try whatever we want.”

“You’re right we do got ‘em.”

They’ll just have to accept whatever we say

[zeroreasonstocare]

Challenge

Cont: established relationship, Takuma Ino x fem!reader, dry humping, pet names and praise (pretty, baby, babe, pretty girl, etc.), single use of “good boy” that makes Ino cream his pants (same), competition and dirty talk, Ino is such a silly guy I love him

Word count: ~500

Masterlist

A/N: sorry for taking forever to post, I went to the chiropractor and had lunch with my mom :) I’m deprived of Ino content, and this has been in the drafts for a week because I convinced myself that I didn’t like it. But the part two I have in mind(If people like it) is better thought out. Idk. likes and reblogs are appreciated!! <3

〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎ ❀ 〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎

“Hey babe?” Your sweet voice calls to Ino.

“Yeah?” He replies, in the other room because he was turned on by seeing you sat on the bed so prettily.

“Wanna try something, stop getting your boner down and come here.”

“Oh? What does my pretty girl want?” He smiles and comes out of his hiding place and back into the bedroom.

“So, I was scrolling through my twitter, as I do, and I came across something that sounds fun. I know how you love a competition.”

“It’s not a threesome is it? I know we both love Nanami, but I don’t think he’d be up for that.”

“We’ll revisit that, but this is different.” You laugh.

“What’s the competition?”

“We grind against each other and stay clothed, and whoever cums first has to do what the other says.” Your grin is so mischievous, it’d be hard for him to say no. Luckily for you both, Ino is always up for a challenge.

“Baby, your pretty brain is soooo big and wrinkly, I wanna kiss it.” He grins and practically pounces on you and kisses you.

He instantly starts grinding his sensitive tip against your clit through the both of your clothes, hissing at the contact but loving your reaction. He messily kisses you, swirling your tongues together and bringing his hands to your hair and tangling into the strands.

“Baby, I dunno how long I’ll last,” the brunette mumbles as he kisses you, “but I wanna see if I can win, so I’ll hold it back as best I can.”

“Mhm, me too,” you hum back into his lips, eagerly accepting the feel of his boner against your throbbing clit.

“You like that, pretty girl? Feels good, yeah?” He groans softly into your mouth, hands tightening in your hair.

“Mhm, I love it, ���kuma.”

“Yeah, you know what I love?”

“Hm?” You hum into his neck as he leans close to your ear.

“This pretty girl under me.” Ino grins, his breath hot against your ear.

It works up the both of you more and you start kissing his neck, making it harder for him to keep his composure.

“God, you’re so gorgeous, my pretty baby,” he whines, making more noise than you as you two do this. “So hard not to cream my pants right now…”

“Aww, is my silly boyfriend struggling to hold his load?” You giggle into a half-moan, his tip brushing just right against your clit through the fabric of your pants.

“Hey, ‘m not silly,” he mumbles and picks up his pace, accepting that he’ll probably end up cumming first.

“You are, but you’re so handsome too. And you’re such a good boy, can’t wait for you to prove it when you cum and you get to listen to me.”

Your words only work him up more, and he ends up cumming in his pants, whining at the sensitivity and his now-ruined sorcerer pants. Some of the sticky substance leaks through the fabric and his ears burn red in embarrassment, all while you giggle.

“Wow, ‘kuma, made a mess from being called a good boy?” You tease.

“Sh-shut up, it wasn’t that…”

“Mhm, sure.” You giggle as he lightly smacks you.

“What’s my punishment, pretty girl?”

“Just you wait and see.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I’m so sorry for this guys but

AITA for telling someone their horse was masturbating?

Basically does what it says on the tin. For those of you who don’t know horses can masturbate. It’s most common in male horses under the age of three who have not had their testicles removed and who are confined to a stall or small pen and get really bored. They typically grow out of the behaviour once they’re older or given more freedom. Some owners try to train them to stop it from happening but most just ignore it because it’s better than other boredom behaviours like cribbing and wind-sucking (both are SFW to Google btw).

Anyway, I’m a groom and stable hand, mid-twenties now but been working at my job since I was fifteen (part-time then, now full-time). The stable I work at boards horses and gives lessons but also offers training for young horses, so we get a lot of OTTB here – that is “off-the-track Thoroughbreds”, so ex-racing horses that people typically buy cheap and then retrain to be show jumpers or dressage horses or whatever. One such horse is Bert, who is the horse in question in this situation.

Bert has excellent bloodlines but he sucked as a racing horse so he was sold OTT. The man who bought him, I’ll just call him John, knows nothing about horses – he’s a total beginner in every way, has never ridden and pays other people (including me) to take care of Bert, but claims to be an expert in everything equine because Bert cost him so much money (I don’t know the actual amount but he’s in the section of the stable where the $20,000 Warmbloods are boarded so I’m assuming around that amount which is a lot yes but also not the most expensive horse we’ve had here).

Anyway the actual story – I’m at work cleaning out stalls when John walks past, he completely ignores me as he always does so I do the same and get back to work. A few minutes later he goes sprinting back in the opposite direction which I thought was weird but whatever, I kept mucking, until I heard him shouting for help. I went out into the aisle and he’s there shouting at another groom and demanding to know the emergency vets number (it was a weekday morning btw, so he didn’t need the emergency vet, he just needed the regular vet but that’s meaningless anyway). I went over to see what was happening and he tells me his horse (Bert) is ‘acting weird’ and needs a vet immediately, so I offer to go see Bert for myself and then call the vet if necessary.

So basically yeah Bert was masturbating. Had an erection, was rocking about rubbing it on his tummy, and did NOT want anyone going in his stall or touching him. John points at Bert and says something like “see, he’s sick!” and then tells me Bert tried to attack him when he entered the stall and I just, I dunno, I cough and say that Bert is fine and just wants some privacy right now, figuring that the obvious erection might be a giveaway as to what’s happening? But John turned to me and blurts out word for word “are you an actual retard” and then starts cursing at me and telling me I know nothing and Bert needs a vet etc and so on. I kind of blanked on everything else he said after he called me a retard to be honest because WTF? I don’t really know what went on in my brain in the next few seconds but I ended up shouting – yes, shouting, extremely loudly, it fucking echoed in the stable – “he doesn’t need a vet because HE’S JUST MASTURBATING” in John’s face and then walking back to the stall I’d been mucking.

As I got back to the stall I heard laughter from a couple of aisles over. Apparently my co-workers and some riders who were there had all heard me shout and found it hilarious, and that made me laugh too because it was so freaking ridiculous. I honestly kind of forgot the entire encounter afterwards because we had a horse who actually needed a vet a little while later and yeah, John and Bert just slipped my mind.

I didn’t remember until that afternoon when my boss came to see me and said he’d had a complaint from John who wanted me fired. I did not get fired but I did get ‘warned’ (just a formality, my boss didn’t actually punish me but wanted me to act like I had been if John questioned me later, which he never did). John complained that I’d treated him like an idiot, spoken down to him, and “acted above my position” (those were the exact words he used) causing people to laugh at him. I explained the entire situation to my boss, who also laughed, and that was that, nothing else ever came of it aside from my co-workers telling the story of me shouting HE’S MASTURBATING so loudly it scared a pony into jumping so suddenly that it farted to everyone they possibly could.

Since then John has ignored me even more than before which I honestly consider a blessing, and I would leave this situation thinking I’m NTA except that one of my co-workers brought their boyfriend to the stable recently and when they introduced us the boyfriend said something like ‘oh right, you’re the asshole who talks down to people who don’t know everything about horses’ and yeah. My co-worker was blindsided by that as well and we basically both said you don’t have to know everything about horses to know what an erection means, but since then I’ve been wondering if I am TA in this situation? Like, clearly there were better ways to tell John what his horse was doing, but he called me a retard and also I get paid to take care of horses not to teach the birds and the bees to fifty year olds so I don’t know. I’ll let Tumblr decide.

So, AITA for telling John his horse was masturbating?

Additional info: I'm on a rota with other stable hands so I sometimes groom Bert, muck his stall, attend to his vet/farrier appointments, give him worming paste, etc and so on. I am not his trainer and have no input into when he gets to leave his stall. I've mentioned to my boss a couple of times that he boredom stims and should be in a paddock with other young horses, but John refuses to agree to that for reasons I don't know. My boss has since spoken to Bert's trainer who is now trying to convince John to let Bert have more time outdoors.

What are these acronyms?

[kyojurismo]

★ — katsuki as your boyfriend !

character : katsuki bakugo

tags : gn!reader, fluff, katsuki is soft w his s/o, tiny bit of jealousy, mention of insecurities ( nothing too serious ), all characters mentioned are aged up to 18+, not proofread.

notes : i was a bit unsure about posting it, also because i’m struggling a lot lately and it was way better in my head. but anyway, we’re here. i got a lil carried away, but hope you guys will enjoy it !! <3 + tagging my sweet @doumadono ^_^

katsuki noticed you at the beginning of high school

he knew you were strong and didn’t mind having you in his team

it was it that helped you two grow closer to each other

he started to feel more towards the end of second year

when you happened to mention how you went on a date with someone from 2-B, katsuki would feel . . . jealousy. it wasn’t rational though, you two were good friends and classmates

you were confused by him getting all grumpy when you talked about your date with tetsutetsu to mina and eijiro. bakugo scoffed and made harsh comments about how it was stupid of you to go out with someone like him

“he doesn’t have a brain, why wasting time with someone like him? thought you were smarter than this.”

it hurt, not gonna lie. but mina comforted you and sent a glare to katsuki

when katsuki acknowledged his feelings, you were seeing someone and he couldn’t help but feel jealous

but also stupid

what if there wasn’t another chance?

when you came back to the dorm, he noticed you were crying. he clenched his fists and wanted to know about everything that happened. that’s why he walked to you and asked about what was wrong, pretending he didn’t know you went on a date

“don’t worry, bakugo…” you wiped away your tears, trying to put on a happy face so he wouldn’t worry too much. oh, if you only knew. “bullshit.”

you were surprised by the stern look on his face, he wasn’t judging you for going out, there weren’t harsh comments as always. he looked genuinely concerned about you crying.

“you… i went… damn kirishima wanted to eat something, so we bought ice cream and shit like that,” he started, looking a bit embarrassed. well, that was new. “do you want something?” he offered then, trying to act cool. you stared at him for a couple of seconds in silence, studying his unusual behaviour.

it’s not that bakugo never cared about you, it’s only that he would usually brush it off with a told ya and go on with his activities. but now, it was different. bakugo was actually taking care of you.

“y-yeah… can we eat it together?” you tried, testing how far he would go.

needless to say, bakugo ate ice cream with you and listened to everything that went wrong on the date

it was a real surprise when you caught him arguing with your date, spatting harsh comments and insults while kirishima held him back the best he could to avoid a real fight between the two

katsuki blushed as he noticed you staring at him and acted as if nothing happened when you asked for an explanation

“i dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” he grunted, sitting in his seat. his eyes never meeting yours, not even for a second

you swore his cheeks were turning pink but you let him be, you couldn’t exactly force him to say it

bakugo was around you more than before, always checking on you and making sure you were doing alright

he acted more calm around you, rarely raising his voice

you two started dating out of nowhere

“go out with me,” he looked right into your eyes, his red eyes burning into yours. “what?” you raised your eyebrows, gripping your textbook tightly. “out with me. y’know… out?!” he huffed, hoping you would get it and say yes. “like, on a date?” you tilted your head to the side. “whatever you call it.”

his cheeks and the tip of his ears were red now, as katsuki looked away. he was sitting in front of you on your bed, you two were studying together for one of your final exams.

“answer me!” he barked, visibly nervous. you couldn’t help but chuckle at that, finding his behaviour funny and adorable. “you’re cute,” you told him instead, making him groan in annoyance. “j-just answer me or i’ll blow you up!” katsuki at his finest.

you just laughed more at that, because he was all red and embarrassed. katsuki stared at you with a hard expression before finding solace in your carefree mood. you were laughing because of him, he was the one making you feel like that. it felt good, realising it now.

katsuki found every opportunity to take you out on a date, spend as much time together as he could — without including the others

he spoiled you, always trying to gift you something and cooking for you all the time

katsuki really wanted to ask you to start dating properly, but there was always something that got in the way

that’s why you found yourself asking him instead

he didn’t mind though, because he got to kiss you as a yes and he realised he had been craving your lips for a while now

you two have been together for a while, but started dating properly for like a couple of months

katsuki secretly loves holding your hand

but what he craves more is physical contact

he will often grab your arm and pull you closer, just because he wants to feel your body close to his

he kisses your forehead a lot, along with your chin and neck. he likes teasing you about how tensed up you get when he does it

fight me on this but he sometimes bite your cheeks, he usually does it when you’re talking about some part of your body and saying bad things

not in his presence. don’t say anything like that. never.

katsuki has a job & that job is reminding you that you’re perfect like this

we all know he would have eyes for you only. well– you and being the best hero, hehe

would often fall asleep on your chest if you’re busy doing something ( reading, on a phone call, etc. )

and loves when you’re the one falling asleep on him

katsuki has the habit to cup your cheeks and kiss you deeply out of nowhere, before resuming whatever he was doing as if nothing while you’re there needing a moment to process what just happened

he’s both the big and small spoon, depends on the mood really

katsuki gifts you his clothes sometimes,

like, “this t-shirt is so cool,” you’re smiling and then gasping as he takes it off immediately and pushes it to you, silently asking to wear it

he’s not a fan of petnames, but would call you babe or darling if you like it

i also believe he’s more on the act of service type, so expect him to show you his love by being helpful and doing things for you rather than putting his feelings into words

has a pic of you sleeping as his lockscreen wallpaper

of course he shuts you up during arguments by squishing your cheeks with his hand

kisses your lips before letting you go, as a way to make you forget all about the argument

lowkey a fan of taking you out to a bar and make out with you in the bathroom, his hands holding your cheeks or your waist as his lips move against your own

he tries his best to be as open as possible with you, trying to not hide his vulnerability when it’s just the two of you. he knows you wouldn’t judge or make fun of him

lastly, i think that if you two are around the others, katsuki likes keeping your pinky fingers intertwined, maybe if you’re talking with izuku and iida & he’s talking with eijiro and denki

[hugheses]

love your scholarship 🥸

do you know anything about their school/college days - ie if they liked school/had favourite subjects/took particular classes? if Quinn and Luke declared majors at mich?

also if they’ve ever said what they read? think I read that Jack says he likes to read (sports books maybe?) in his spare time and one in of Ellen’s interviews she talks about reading (to them?) and somewhere else about how she was super involved in their academics

The teacher in me is fascinated!

quinn was enrolled in the school of kinesiology and majoring in sports management.

in 2021 he said

If you weren’t a hockey player, what else might you be doing? — Veronica X. I don’t know, I love golf. I’d probably be golfing a lot. I’d be in school somewhere … I’d be a senior right now so I’d probably be getting my degree in the next couple of weeks. Maybe business or sport management? That’s what I was looking at at Michigan for two years.

luke's intended major was also sports management. he was taking a business management class and fumbled his part on a group project when he signed with the devils. he took a greek sports history class and talked about how he doesn't love school but he likes history here (worth listening to imo) and he also enjoyed history of college athletics. luke actually took an online college class before officially starting at umich

"I'm taking an online chemistry class to get it off my plate. I wake-up and do two hours of that and then I go and work out with [trainer] Brian Gallivan and then I skate and then just chill by the pool and hang out. It's been nice."

here's a snippet from quinn about books

Hughes has become an avid reader to expand his knowledge and make better use of downtime. He recently completed “The Boys in the Boat” historical epic that was made into a movie directed by George Clooney. “I buried it, it’s done,” Hughes proudly stated Tuesday after practice. “I finished it three weeks ago. Great book. Page turner. I’m reading ‘Moneyball’ now.” “Boys in the Boat” is a riveting and true account of how the Depression-era University of Washington junior varsity rowing team stunned the world by overcoming immense odds to capture gold at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. Joe Rantz was a driving force for the eight-man crew. A strong rower with an unshakeable disposition sounds a lot like the driven Hughes. “I thought Joe was just a hard worker who did his job and was a quiet guy,” said Hughes. “He appreciated everything that came his way. He pretty much raised himself from the age of 10 and was a very outdoors person.”

he apparently is "reading a book almost weekly to try to improve his brain" and he also was spotted reading Stay Sane in an Insane World: How to Control the Controllables and Thrive

jack likes reading sports books as said here, specifically Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success and Three-Ring Circus: Kobe, Shaq, Phil, and the Crazy Years of the Lakers Dynasty. The Mamba Mentality: How I Play was on his reading list in high school. he also talks about books here

Craig: The other thing that (Williams) said was reading. He said you’re asking for book recs. We’re looking for book recs. We’re big readers. Jack: Yeah, you guys got any? I dunno. (I’m tired of) everything on my phone, social media, things like that — and I never went to college, so you gotta get smarter somehow. Craig: Are you a fiction guy? Are you a self-improvement guy? What do you find yourself gravitating towards? Jack: I read a lot of sports books. “Eleven Rings,” by Phil Jackson. Also, “Greenlights” by Matthew McConaughey. Those are my favorite ones I’ve read recently. It’s important. We’ve got a lot of down time on the road, so it’s good stuff.

as for ellen, she said this in the cammi & aj podcast

So for me, you do things that you enjoy or you- you teach them things that you feel like you can teach them, Right. So it's kind of a slight on me that I wasn't more worldly and wanting to take them to museums. Or maybe like I felt like I had do those things because like, ‘Oh my God, what am I teaching them?’ But you tend to do the things that you - you're trying to find activities. Jimmy was off coaching a lot, I had three young boys that were really close in age. So what do I know? What can I do to pass time and keep them active? It was kicking a soccer ball. It was throwing a ball, it was doing rollerblading, it was passing the puck, it was taking them skating. So for me, those were mommy and me activities, right? And then every once in a while I'd be like, you know, I'd be like, ‘uh, we got to do Kumon, we gotta do like - we gotta read.’ You know, academics was really important to me because I felt like I was so driven the other way that like, I didn’t want to miss out on the other. So for us, it was never this grandiose plan, and I'm sure you guys were the same way. It was more like, ‘be the best at whatever it is you're doing, work your hardest at whatever it is you're doing.’ Working the hardest didn't mean scoring the most goals. It was playing the right way, whatever it is, being a great teammate and working really, really hard and we always felt like the other would come.

other potentially interesting notes, jack was an honor roll student in 8th grade, and quinn agreed he was the best at school when they were younger, so it's funny he's the one who didn't end up going to college. ellen's brother is actually the president of denison university and they have some pretty academic cousins also.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Like We're Made of Starlight

Roy Kent x Teacher!Reader

Warnings: Language, drinking, some angsty feelings, lots of pining

2.5k words

A/N: This chapter came out a biiiiiiiiiiit long because I had to combine two chapters; I couldn't let these two be angsty for too long!

Teach Me Tonight Masterlist

Although a night of lesson planning and daydreaming about eating ice cream with Roy Kent sounded like the perfect Saturday night, Leanne Bowen had other plans. She had texted you just as you got home, insisting that the two of you needed a night out. So, you put on a cute little dress and some boots and hopped into Leanne’s car to head to some club for drinks and dancing.

After spending a few songs on the dance floor with Lee, you left her dancing with some handsome guy and made your way to the bar, desperate for some drink that hid the taste of its alcohol. As you waited for the bartender to return with your drink, someone leaned on the bar next to you.

“What, you already empty the flask you keep in your desk?”

Your mouth went completely dry as you turned your head. There was Roy Kent, holding a beer and looking nothing short of gorgeous in a black button-down shirt, unbuttoned just enough to show some chest hair, and slacks. You quickly recovered and flashed him a smile. “Coach Kent. What’re you doing here?”

He returned your grin with a soft one of his own. “One of the guys’ birthdays.” He nodded towards a group of young men who were taking shots and laughing loudly as people nearby stared and pointed. “Figured I’d be a good manager and actually celebrate one of my players.” When the bartender brought you your drink, Roy pointed at you and then himself, signaling that your drink was on him.

“You don’t have to do that,” you insisted. “You’ve bought me coffee, a drink, and ice cream already.” Your face went warm. “Seriously, I should be buying you a drink!”

He shrugged and slid the glass closer to you. “Next time,” he hummed simply.

Next time.

As you tried to figure out how in the world to respond to that, his eyes slowly trailed down your figure, eyebrows raising slightly as he did so. You resisted the urge to tug your skirt down, wondering if it was too short.

“Something wrong?” you managed to squeak out, shifting your weight nervously.

Roy’s eyes were on yours again. “Not at all.” He shrugged. “Just not used to seeing you outside your teaching outfits.”

You scrunched your nose in confusion. “Teaching outfits?” you repeated.

His face softened as he glanced away for a moment. “You know. The fucking dresses and skirts and sneakers. The cute shit you wear to school.”

He thought your outfits were cute.

“Oh.” Desperate to look like his words didn’t have your head spinning, you took a long sip of your drink. “And which d’you prefer?”

Suddenly grateful for the dark club lighting that hid his blush, Roy fidgeted a little, trying to keep his eyes trained on your too-pretty face. “I dunno,” he admitted with a small chuckle. After a moment, he added, “All I’ll say is, it’s a good thing there aren’t any dads here. There’d be some pretty pissed off mums.”

For a moment, you just stared at Roy Kent, fully aware that your mouth was in a perfect little o. The way he stared at you, all soft and smiling, had you fighting the urge to squirm nervously. Finally, realizing that you had probably forgotten how to speak, he opened his mouth again.

“Wanna dance?”

Immediately, every piece of advice your mother had ever given you about not being too eager with a man left your brain as you smiled brightly at Roy. “Sure.”

Drinks completely forgotten at the bar, the two of you walked to the dance floor, both blushing furiously and praying the other wouldn’t notice. Your whole body was vibrating with nervousness as you looked up at Roy, whose face somehow managed to be both tense and soft as he gazed back. You forced yourself to move your hips to the music, as if you danced with handsome football legends all the time. The ever-present tension in his shoulders seemed to relax as he watched you, and he began to move to the music, taking a tentative step towards you, not quite pressing his body to yours, but definitely closing the safe gap you’d left. His raised eyebrows asked if this was okay; your shy smile assured him that it was more than okay.

“D’you like dancing?” Roy asked over the music, delighted that he had to lean in close to speak to you.

His breath on your cheek had your entire body feeling warm. “It’s alright,” you answered, standing on tiptoe so he could hear you. “Kind of depends on my dance partner.”

Roy Kent’s grin could probably power a small town, it was so bright and freaking perfect. “How’m I doing?”

“Not bad,” you teased. “Not bad at all.”

As Roy ducked his head to say something else- or maybe be bold enough to do something else- a hand landed on his shoulder. When he turned his head, Jamie Tartt was looking at you with that stupid grin of his.

“Oi!” he shouted, a bit louder than necessary. “Aren’t you Phoebe’s teacher?” After glancing back at Roy for a fraction of a second, you nodded; Jamie’s smile broadened. “Oh shit, I remember you from that pub! Man, y’should see Roy, always rushing out to pick up Phoebe. I think it’s the best part of his day, seeing you!”

Immediately, Jamie knew he’d stepped in it; he wasn’t sure who looked more mortified, you or Roy. Your eyes were wide in panic, and Roy’s jaw was clenched tighter than Jamie’d ever seen it. Oops.

“Well, it was nice to see you,” he blurted, trying to salvage things and avoid Roy’s glare. With a little wave, the footballer was gone.

Alone again, you looked up at Roy, letting out an embarrassed little huff as you fiddled with your hair. “So-”

Before you could say another word, Roy glanced at his watch. “I should go,” he grumbled, not quite looking at you. “Let these guys celebrate in peace without their fucking manager hanging around, babysitting them.”

“Oh.” You nodded earnestly. “Yeah?”

Some silly little part of you wanted him to invite you somewhere else, maybe a pub or coffee shop, somewhere you could see each other more clearly and actually hear each other speak. Or maybe just offer you a ride home. Some little excuse to spend more time together, to talk, maybe even an opportunity for Roy to ask you out-

“Enjoy the rest of your weekend,” he mumbled, his gruff voice interrupting your hopes. “I’ll see you Monday.”

Not bothering to meet your eye, he turned and walked away, ignoring both the tight feeling in his chest and his players’ calls for him to stay. As Roy exited the club and walked down the street, he let out a growling sigh that caught the attention of the people waiting in line to get into the club.

You must be Phoebe’s teacher, Jamie had said. Phoebe’s teacher.

Roy was such a fucking idiot. Of course you were always nice and polite and never said a word about his flirting or buying you coffee and ice cream. You were just nice. This pretty little ray of sunshine that smiled at everyone, even the skeevy dads that flirted a little too hard. Fucking hell, Roy was just as bad as them, wasn’t he? There you were, trying to enjoy your weekend off, and he’d gone and been another drooling creep that you’d have to see at school on Monday. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Meanwhile, as Roy walked to his car and beat himself up, you found Leanne, flirting over a drink with that same handsome guy you’d left her with. She lit up when she saw you.

“There you are!” She glanced over your shoulder. “Are my contacts malfunctioning, or did I see you dancing with-”

“Gonna head home,” you interrupted, fidgeting with the strap of your little purse. “Not feeling well.”

She leaned in close, ignoring her conversation partner. “Oh shit, are you and-”

You shook your head. “I don’t feel well,” you repeated through gritted teeth. Her smile faltered when she took in the melancholy look on your face. “I’ll get myself a cab.”

“You sure?”

Finally smiling, you grabbed her hand. “Enjoy your night, Lee.” You gave a squeeze before letting go. “I’ll see you Monday.”

As you walked outside, you rubbed your suddenly aching temples, humiliation flooding every inch of your body.

Roy Kent. Roy freaking Kent. You really thought you had a shot with Roy Kent?

Fucking hell.

~

On Monday, you were almost relieved not to have morning duty; no awkward interactions with Roy Kent, no plastering on that fake smile and chirping good morning as if you hadn’t spent half your weekend beating yourself for being so naïve as to think a professional footballer would be interested in a schoolteacher. You were fun to flirt with, good for his ego, and you ate up his attention like candy. What guy wouldn’t enjoy that?

Of course, today was the day that Jack Harris, in the year above your class, chose to tell Phoebe O’Sullivan that the Greyhounds sucked, especially her uncle’s best friend Jamie Tartt. And Phoebe didn’t take that too well; by the time you’d separated them, both children’s uniforms were covered in dirt and Jack had learned a fun new four-letter word.

The office assured you that Dr. O’Sullivan would be in your classroom in about fifteen minutes to collect her daughter.

The sound of someone clearing their throat had you freezing just as you were pinning up some work on a bulletin. When you turned around, Roy Kent was walking into your classroom, looking bashful with his hands stuffed into the pockets of that leather jacket. His eyes traced yours carefully as he approached you.

“Hi,” he murmured, resisting the urge to tap his foot nervously.

“Hello,” you answered, tightly gripping the papers you held. “Um, so Phoebe-”

He shook his head. “Yeah, no, my sister told me on the phone.” He winced. “Gotta go home for the day, then?”

You shrugged. “If it makes you feel better, she was defending the Greyhounds.” You nodded to the corner table where Phoebe sat, working on her handwriting practice. “I gave her some work that she’ll be missing. Everything’s set to go in her backpack.” Without thinking, you took a small step closer to Roy. “You’re all set, I guess.”

Roy stared at you, mouth slightly open, not willing to move away from you. “I’m sorry,” he finally blurted out. “I am really fucking sorry. For-for the club. If I overstepped at all- and fucking Jamie- and I just-”

“It’s alright,” you interrupted, a little too quickly. Your heart fluttered when you saw the way his eyes shifted to your face and away, over and over, as if he couldn’t decide whether or not he could look you in the eye. “I, um, actually had a good time.” You glanced over to Phobe, who was too engrossed in her work to even glance up at the two of you. “Dancing with you… was nice.”

Ask her out.

Those three words played in his head over and over again as Roy stared down at you, doing that thing where he opened and closed his mouth, clearly trying to figure out what to say. Reminding himself that he was Roy fucking Kent he finally found his ability to speak.

“Listen, I was wondering if-”

“Hey- Oh! Sorry, you have a parent.”

Karen Selig looked anything but sorry has her eyes lingered over Roy, who quickly leaned away from you, cursing himself for hesitating.

Doing your best to not look as annoyed as you felt, you smiled at your colleague. “Need something, Mrs. Selig?”

She shook her head, gesturing to Roy. “Oh no, I can wait.”

When she lingered in the doorway, Roy resisted the urge to scream. Instead, he turned back to you, your pretty and expectant face leaving him hating his shit luck.

“Um, what was that you were asking, Coach?” Your voice was low, trying to keep this conversation as private as possible with your colleague’s gleeful face in the doorway.

“Oh. Shit, yeah, um the girls have a scrimmage on Saturday. Want to come? They loved seeing you at practice so…” He shrugged.

Your shoulders slumped almost unnoticeably. But Roy absolutely noticed. “Oh. Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.”

Roy nodded curtly. “Great. Great. Um, just send me a message and I’ll let you know the details. You still have my card, yeah?”

“Yeah, I have it somewhere,” you said casually, as if the little business card that read Roy Kent wasn’t sitting in your desk drawer, where you could see it every time you grabbed a post-it note or a paper clip. “I’ll text you?”

There was that wonderful smile. “Yeah. Yeah, text me.” He turned his head to his niece. “Oi! Pheebs! Let’s go.” With one more nod to you, trying to keep that smile from growing too large, Roy took his niece’s hand and led her out of the classroom.

Doing your best to suppress your own grin, you turned your attention to the still-waiting Mrs. Selig. “Right, so what did you need?”

Instead of explaining her interruption, Karen just waggled her eyebrows at you. “Ooh, going to text Coach Kent, hmm?”

With an eyeroll, you turned back to hanging up student work. “Oh fuck off,” you mumbled before breaking out into a secret smile.

Taglist:@infinetlyforgotten @gothicwidowsworld@taytaylala12@amieinghigh@klaine-92@misshall14@rosesheerio@goose-101 @gee72sstuff @alainabooks143@lwritesstuff@hayden-maximoff @optimisticsandwichgladiator @veryprairieberry @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @jaymum@shakespeareanwannabe@axelsagewrites@kidd3ath @brainscabs @v-nest@just35yrsandtrying @idk1234567 @ohwauwdoritos @wearethecanadians

[wooahaes]

out for delivery

pairing: none? non-idol!svt with a mention of gn!reader

prompt: that one post i made about reader asking for them to send their cutest delivery guy

genre: comedy. this is just silly stuff teehee

word count: 1.4k~

warnings: food mentions. svt arguing about who is the cutest. i didnt proofread this at all btw its just supposed to be silly goofy fun.

daisy’s notes: this has been in my drafts for over two months.

Junhui was the one who read off your order to the others, only to stop when he saw the special instruction in the delivery spot: send ur cutest guy, pls. 

Of course, being someone with access to the internet, Jun had heard of this kind of thing before. People who throw in instructions like that for fun, or people who ask for things to be drawn on their to-go boxes (he always did those when they popped up--his art skills might not be perfect, but he can draw a little cat saying ‘enjoy your food!’ any day), or sometimes the occasional message from someone to another (the ‘person loves you’ or ‘person says to get well soon’ kind of deal). But this? Here? Well...

“Which one of us is the cutest?” He mused aloud, catching Jeonghan’s attention as he stepped away from the kitchen to wipe the sweat off his brow.

“What?”

Jun nodded toward the screen and your specific instruction. “They asked for a cute delivery guy. Who’s working today?”

Jeonghan paused, musing on the question. “Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Vernon,” he listed off, although he continued to wrack his brain to see if that Namjoon guy was in as well. Nah--Maybe on the weekend when they’re busier and need the extra hands, but three already is kind of overkill as it is.

(Not that any of them are complaining, that is: they’re still getting some sort of payment for all of this.)

“It doesn’t say cutest delivery guy,” Jeonghan said. “Just our cutest guy.”

Seungcheol looked up from his clipboard as he came back, brow raised. “Me?”

Jeonghan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously, I’m the cutest one here. I’ll make it.”

It was at this point that they’d started gathering the attention of everyone currently in (which, today, had been everyone except for Soonyoung, who was still out on a delivery across the city).

Seungcheol stared at him, “You don’t work delivery--”

“So?” Jeonghan said. “I don’t mind going--”

“You don’t, either,” Jun piped up. “I could run if I need to--”

Seungkwan was finally the one to speak up, “What are you talking about?”

For a moment, the three said nothing. If everyone got into this conversation, it’d be an all-out bloodbath, especially with Seungkwan taking part. Yet Wonwoo, who had been sitting nearby, enjoying his few minutes of rest after his own series of deliveries, looked up.

“Someone asked for a cute delivery guy, and they’re debating about it,” he shrugged, looking back at his phone--although the tiny smile on his face was still evident. The rotten fucker--

“I can go,” Joshua spoke up, as if he wasn’t literally working on your order alongside Mingyu. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll change shirts.”

Seokmin, who had been busy rolling out pizza dough, looked up. “Is this really a debate? I think we all know I’m the cutest one here...”

“Both of you work in the kitchens,” Seungcheol said, “you can’t leave.”

“All of us are in today, and it’s slow right now,” Chan said, already washing his hands of flour, ready to remove his apron in a moment. “You guys won’t miss me.”

“Who said you were going?!” Seungkwan whipped around, “If anyone goes, it should be me! Everyone who comes in tells points out how cute I am!”

Mingyu looked up, a cocky smile tugging at his lips. “Who gets asked out the most here?”

Silence. The motherfucker...

And then Minghao looked up. “They said cutest. Not hottest. Which eliminates all of you--”

“I’m very cute!” Seungkwan huffed, “That’s why it should be me.”

Vernon looked up from his phone, yet another delivery boy who probably should just take the order when it’s ready. “I dunno. I think I’m pretty cute. I could do it. Plus,” he shrugged, “kind of my job--”

“You’re hot and you know it,” Jeonghan spoke up. “Hao has a point. They requested the cutest guy--which means it’s down to Seungkwan, Chan, and I.”

Minghao scoffed, rolling up his sleeves. “Just you three?”

Mingyu had thrown an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, dragging him from his quiet spot of observation straight into the conversation. “Jihoon should be included, too.”

“Oh? What if this person flirts with him?” Jeonghan chuckled. “They’re paying in cash and Jihoon would probably walk off without it.”

Jihoon’s face turned red. “I’m not that bad--”

“You almost did it last time you had to work the window.”

“They were too upfront!” Jihoon huffed, his face slowly turning red. “If they had said to you what they said to me, you’d run, too! That’s why Jun had to take over!”

“They said you had pretty eyes!”

Jihoon’s face burned with embarrassment. “It was the way they said it...”

As if in his own world, Jun quietly mused aloud, “I think I’m pretty cute,” as he continued looking over the order again.

“And if Jun’s cute, then I’m cute.” Joshua wiped his hands down his apron, turning back. “Jun, does the order say anything else?”

He shook his head. The only note you had put in was the note they were debating about now: send ur cutest guy, pls. Nothing more, nothing less. Hell, none of them even knew why you’d asked for their cutest guy. Was it a joke? Were you kind of desperate for something? Was this going to be the really bad intro to a porno? The questions persisted.

Seungcheol had been the one who pulled your pizza from the oven when it was time, boxing it up and carefully sealing it. “Who’s delivering it?”

Immediately, several people had volunteered.

He rolled his eyes. “Wonwoo, Vernon--”

“I’ll do it,” Seungkwan insisted further. “They asked for someone cute!”

Vernon raised his brows. “Dude, what the hell--”

“You know you’re hot, shut up.” Seungkwan turned. “If they want someone cute, then it’s only between a few of us. Not including Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan gasped, turning around as he pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m angelic--”

“That’s a lie and you know it!”

The bell chimed as Soonyoung made his way in, going completely ungreeted as the conversation continued. He looked to Wonwoo, who merely shrugged in exchange before watching as Minghao began to make the very well formulated argument that he was the cutest (his fairy-like giggle was direct proof, in his own words--the others called him cute all the time for it). Which caused Seungcheol to argue back that if he was including laughs as evidence, then his own could count because plenty of people found it endearing. Soonyoung said nothing, walking over to where the orders were as he began looking through them for another delivery since his break would come later tonight.

“I’m not saying your laugh isn’t cute,” Seungcheol said, “I’m saying you can’t use it as proof when all of us have cute laughs!”

“Some of you sound like a hyena,” Minghao rolled his eyes, “and some of you are too ‘hot’ to be cute! You talk about how handsome you are all the time--”

“Stop, you’ll make him pout,” Jeonghan chuckled from nearby, “and then he’ll really start insisting he’s the cutest of us.”

The bell chimed again, and Jun merely glanced up to see that it was only Soonyoung leaving. He turned back. “People tell me I’m cute. I’m carefree.”

“Childish cute doesn’t count,” Seungkwan said, lips pursed. “I’m cute because of my mannerisms.”

“The same mannerisms you get mad at Soonyoung for imitating,” Seokmin muttered under his breath, only to earn a deadly glare from Seungkwan. “You do!”

Wonwoo looked back down at his phone, wondering if he should have been recording this entire conversation. “I think I’m cute.”

“One of us has to go,” Joshua spoke up, “before their food gets cold. And I think I should do it because I’ll be the fastest--”

“Dude,” Vernon looked up. “I’m pretty fast on my bike.”

“It’s a bike, we’d all be fast  on it,” Minghao scoffed. “Why aren’t one of them doing it?” Minghao gestured toward Wonwoo and Vernon. “They’re the delivery boys!”

“Still on break,” Wonwoo said without looking up, “for another few minutes.” 

Seungcheol opened his mouth to say something--probably about how one of their breaks had already ended by now.

“Also, Soonyoung just left with it,” Wonwoo added casually enough.

Immediately, several pairs of eyes went to where the order had been left... and sure enough, it was gone.

And then chaos ensued, and Wonwoo hid yet another smile as he listened to several people bemoan that little factoid. Yet Soonyoung was pedaling away, completely lost as to what had gone down while he was gone.

(And when he showed up, bragging about the huge tip that you had given him while laughing about the fact the others had been arguing... Well. They knew what was going to happen the next time you threw in that special request.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @gyulbabie​ @wonuziex​

[oh-no-its-bird]

"All you ever do is time and dimension travel, maybe get a new thing" shut the fuck up and take more unasked for dimension travel shenanigans

In the same vein as my fic idea where Obito gets kamui'd into a modern AU and kind of loses it over normal civilian guy Kakashi, please now take;

✨️ Into the (un)known and far beyond ✨️

Canon Tobirama gets zapped into a modern AU and runs face first into college student Izuna.

The catch is that the fic is told from Izuna's POV and modern AU Tobirama does exist and is like, around.

As you may assume, this causes complications!

(From here on out, Modern!Tobirama is going to be called Tobi and Canon!Tobirama is just Tobirama)

Izuna has had a hate crush on Tobi since they first met in freshman year, the feeling is not mutual Izuna barley exists on Tobi's radar and that fact infuriates him.

At first, hes convinced Tobirama is fucking with him, and Tobirama kind of assumes this might be a death bed hallucination. Something his brain came up with to keep him entertained in his final moments, yknow? But after a bit, he's quick on the uptake— tho Izuna is very not.

Izuna is CONVINCED he's being fucked with right now and does! Not! Appreciate it!

If nothing else the really stupid look Tobirama gets on his face every time he looks at Izuna is somewhat satisfying at least.

(Tobirama meanwhile has no fucking clue how to act here. He's aware he should probably like, leave, but some sense of morbid curiosity / duty keeps him oddly spellbound as Izuna bullies him into sleeping on the couch)

(Hes... not totally convinced that this isn't some sort of really weird hallucination)

Chunks of the fic are just Izuna shoving Tobirama into the nearest closet and leaning on it very (not) casually as people who know Tobi pass by. Including but not limited to Madara and Hashirama, who Tobirama refuses to be in the same room as for multiple reasons.

Also, himself!!

Izuna is going to his classes alternating between staring at Tobi like a man possessed and being so visibly out of it that he doesn't even look at Tobi even once. And Tobi is very much noticing (Maybe Izuna really was on his radar more than he thought he was)

Izuna stop acting like a freak challenge (impossible)

I think Hikaku gets to be the first one to realize there are two Tobirama's, both bc I love Hikaku, he's just smart like that, and he'd probably keep his mouth shut ab it.

He's enterung the room then very slowly backing out and closing the door and going, "when I open the door back up I don't want to see any doppelganger of men I know is in the room over." And when he opens it Izuna is physically cringing as he leans against the closet door in a very Not Suspicous Pose(tm)

Hikaku is so tired of this already. You know what? He doesn't want to know. Have fun Izuna, please don't call him when shit inevitably catches fire.

Tempted to say some sort of threat came with Tobirama when he entered the dimension, just for funzies. But also I dunno

I also kind of want to say that we get modern Tobiizu, and that the canon Tobirama is either not interested at all or lowkey hung up on Madara.

Tobirama is catching a glimpse of modern Madara, who's visibly so much happier, and kind of just shutting down.

He is going THROUGH it as Izuna stares at him in slow dawning horror. Tobirama is sitting on the couch, head in his hands as Izuna thwacks him with a rolled up magazine and yells "DO! NOT! LOOK! AT! MY BROTHER! LIKE THAT" between each thwack

(Tobirama can't decide if this is hell or not. Maybe it's some kind of divine punishment?? Doesnt have to be hell if its just his shit karma catching up to him)

Tobirama is both a lot sharper and a lot softer than Tobi. Obviously like, killing machine vs college student, the sharpness is self explanatory. But also he's now surrounded by dead faces and yeah, he's stressed as hell, but he's finally free from paperwork hell (unlike his counter part) and in a basically conflict free world from his point of view

Also I think he's just out of practice with dealing with Izuna, who meanwhile is wayyy too comfortable with taking every shot he can get at him. Tobirama will willingly go along with his bullshit and shenanigans both because he. Kind of doesn't know how to say no to him without feeling weirdly guilty about it. And also because this is an unfamiliar world and like, they're civillians!! Izuna is getting away with so much because Tobirama doesn't have a frame of reference to know if it's normal civilian behavior for this world.

Tobi meanwhile has been consistently dealing with Izuna's shit for years and can and will shut his ass down in a heartbeat. Izuna kind of hates him.

A funny bit could actually be where Tobirama talks pretty formally, vs everyone else bc modern. Tobirama is shooting off some under the table insult he'd use at a council meeting as Izuna grumbles "holy shit just call him a dumb bitch like a normal person"

Anyways yeah it'd mostly be silly fun times with sprinkles of angst on Tobirama's part. Maybe some more dramatics if a threat did come through with Tobirama but nothing serious

[dandylovesturtles]

“Oh, so one of our opponent groups is called Firefight?” Mikey points at the bracket board, where their apparent team name (Sidelined, seriously?) is written.

“Sounds edgy.” Leo turns his chair, so he can look over the whole arena. “Where do you think they are?”

“Let’s ask around,” suggests Raph, and with murmurs of agreement all around they set off.

It takes about twenty minutes of searching, but eventually they’re pointed toward a part of the bleachers with a sign, “Reserved for Firefight.” It looks empty, but as they approach they can see the forms of two turtles splayed out across the seats, not moving.

“Omigosh!” Mikey cries out, hands pressed to his cheeks. “They’re dead!”

There’s a noise that’s a few steps away from a laugh, and one of the corpses rolls over. “I don’t look that bad, do I?”

Leo looks at his double’s bloody head and the massive dark circles under his eyes and says, “Handsome as ever.”

There’s a long groan, and the Donnie double shifts next, just enough to look at them.

“Who are you?” he asks, voice hoarse.

“We’re your opponents,” says his own Donnie.

“…Opponents?”

“For the competition.”

The Donnie stares at them for a long moment with glassy, pain-filled eyes. “…Cool,” he says at length, with absolutely no enthusiasm.

“Guys,” says Leo, rolling his chair back a bit to give their opponents some space, “can we huddle up real quick?”

His brothers crowd around him, arms around each other as best they can with their varying heights. Shelldon hovers in the gap made by their heads.

“I dunno, guys. I feel kinda bad about this.”

“How are they going to compete when they’re… like that!?” asks Mikey, worried.

“I’m not sure they can even move like that,” agrees Donnie.

“Is there anything we can do to help out?” asks Raph.

Leo racks his brain. “Hey Dee, do we still have my old transport chair?”

“We do.”

“What about the sports chair?”

“I haven’t finished the paint job, but it’s functional.”

“Okay.” Leo nods. “Let’s get ‘em. And maybe grab a few of those nutrition drinks, there’s some in the fridge.”

“Painkillers and bandages would be a good idea, as well,” says Donnie, and Leo nods at him.

“Okay, me and Mike will get the chairs, Leo and Dee find the med supplies,” says Raph, and they all nod and break apart.

Leo wheels back around and gives a smile and a wave to their opponents. “Hey, we’ll be right back! Uh… try not to croak, okay?”

The other Leo gives him the weakest thumbs up he’s ever seen and says, “Roger.”

“Right.” Leo looks back at his brothers. “We better book it.”

———

@tmntaucompetition @remedyturtles

Don’t worry, Firefight! Sidelined’s got your back! Or, well… maybe!

Can they even portal back home? I’m going to say yes. For the bit.

Firefight is such an angsty fic and I just came in here and made it comedy I’m so sorry…

VOTE IN OUR POLL IN THE PRELIMS TOMORROW!!! and a vote for 100 Feet and a World Away would be nice too ^^

[niftukkun]

New from RECAP Weekly!!! An Exclusive Interview from Hermitopia's Emperor?!?

for the third week of @shepscapades ’s hermitcraft character design event, i offer grian as an empires smp member!

ok so first off, that head. thats just p03 from inscryption. but grian. it fits! but also! go play inscryption go go its on sale Right Now (until june 30) go play it its so good then go watch this video afterwards join my fandom please please please join us

ok back to hermpires! so i originally was gonna take an empire from s2 and just insert grian into it, but while browsing through the esmp s2 wiki i came across/remembered hermitopia and my brain went yep! this one. so i thought a bit about what grian would do if he was an empires smp member and how hermitopia would happen, and i think grian would crash the economy on purpose. i mean it almost already happened when the hermitpires crossover happened so i dont think im too far off. i think grian originally exported something simple, like maybe sugarcanes or mud, something easy to farm yknow, but then i dunno got bored or something so he made a couple more farms. then kept making more farms. then the hermitopia we all know and love happened!

actually maybe hermitopia isnt grians first empire. i think grian has a separate empire but decided to invite his friends to help him make some farms and then it just kept going. then hermitopia happened. i like the collaboration aspect of hermitopia so i think thats how that happens. hermitopia isnt necessarily grian's but its under his command so it gets called his. (isnt there a word for this? was it vassalage? i think its vassalage)

with that in mind i went with a robot-y grian because grumbot and a snazzy cool suit because business man (sidenote im looking over my pre art notes and one of them is just capitalism man and. yeah! not wrong). i gave him more steampunk-y wings than the usual feathery ones cause that fit better. i gave him a crown not really sure why but it fits since without it the design was more Just A Guy but with it he's more Emperor yknow. the buttons have a g on it because he would and an (attempted) gold trim cause that looked nice and fancy. originally he was gonna have four wings cause fun fact four wings is part of my base grian design but four wings kind of crowded the drawing so i didnt include them (sad) and i also didnt include the tail hes supposed to have because i couldnt find a good way to add it in with the pose. but in my heart he has both four wings and a tail

now why magazine style artwork? i 'unno. i thought itd look cool. and it does!! it looks SO cool!!! im so proud of it. recap magazine!! because of course im gonna make a hermitcraft recap reference are you kidding me recap is practically already a magazine reporting what gossip is happening on the hermitcraft server on any given week. its very specifically volume 9 issue 34 because thats when the crossover happened season 9 week 34 babey we love little esoteric details hell yeah!! i looked up how magazine covers work and its supposed to be like, main article big and smaller supporting side articles just kinda floating around so i did that!! and i made them funney references because of course i did! local bard catches scurvy because you cannot convince me that oli orionsound would not catch scurvy he would. does god is gay is a reference to that does bruno mars is gay nonsense article that makes me laugh everytime specifically in reference about mr smallish bean because he. has so many children. and none of them as far as i know from the lady server members theyre all lovechilds from gay lovers its hysterical and hilarious. quit your job join our sun cult is about the dawn empire because thatse the vibe that empire gives me and i think its funny. also!! thats hermitopia!! in the background!! i got the image off of the empires smp wiki and just Biggen'd it and it makes a bomb ass background hell yeah ^-^!!

also version with no text here lookit it!!

[thirsty4villains]

Cool Heat

Summary: You're an assistant for the Avengers. Loki has been hiding up in his room for the past week. You go to check on him and he's reverted back to his Jotun form, but he's not quite himself. The two of you discover that Jotuns go into cycles of heat, and Loki hasn't been in his Jotun form for over a millennia...

Rating: Explicit (smut in future chapters)

Warnings/Tags: THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN SMUT, and 1 chapter will have some dubcon, Loki lives in Stark Tower with the Avengers (because my brain is perpetually stuck in 2012 Tumblr era), sleep sex, PIV, smut, humor, romance, Jotun!Loki, more tags to be added

Find me on AO3, Wattpad, Patreon

CHAPTER 1

“Has anyone seen Loki lately?” Steve asked one Saturday afternoon. Tony Stark, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, and you were all hanging around the lounge area in the penthouse of Stark Tower when Steve had walked in and posed the question.

You still couldn’t believe that you were The Avengers’ assistant and that you regularly spent time with them in Stark Tower. You started as an intern for S.H.I.E.L.D. back as a senior in high school years ago and now, here you were, filling out reports and helping the Avengers out in any way you can.

“Don’t tell me you’re complaining about it,” Clint responded. “This is the most peaceful it’s been in a while.”

He laid his head back and slumped deeper into the couch.

“You’re not worried, are you, Cap?” Tony said teasingly.

“About the guy who tried to take over Earth a few years back and now has access to highly confidential S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets? Yeah, I could say I’m a little worried.”

“I think he’s just been in his room all this time,” you piped up. You were busy multitasking eating a sandwich and going over some S.H.I.E.L.D. documentation that Coulson decided to drop on you last minute.

“Yeah, he’s just been kind of keeping to himself,” Bruce said. “Well, except for…”

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Except for what?” Natasha asked, turning her head, finally looking up from the magazine she was reading. However, you were fairly certain she was listening the entire time.

“Well, last night. Or the other night, I can’t remember — it doesn’t matter. Anyway, the other night I got hungry and went for a midnight snack, and when I came to the kitchen, Loki was there too. He had the fridge open, but he wasn’t looking for anything. He just had his eyes closed and just… stood in front of the open freezer. It was only for a second and then he noticed I was there, so he shut the fridge and went back to his room.”

“Maybe he was sleepwalking?” You asked.

Bruce shrugged, then shook his head. “I dunno, but also when he saw me he kind of… snarled. I thought I imagined it because I was half awake, but maybe he did.”

“Okay, that is weird,” Tony said, shoveling some chips into his mouth.

“Should we tell Thor about this?” Steve asked.

“And say what?” Tony asked. “Hey Thor, sorry to bother you while on your vacation with Jane but Loki was standing in the fridge and he kinda growled at Bruce. Is he evil again? Please advise.”

Steve crossed his arms. “I just think someone should check on him at the very least. When is the last time anyone has seen him, aside from Bruce?”

The room fell quiet as the cogs in people’s brains turned.

“Monday,” Natasha said.

“Monday, yeah,” Clint said.

“Sunday, I think,” Tony offered.

“Monday for me too,” you said.

“Ok, Sunday or Monday. Today’s Saturday. That means no one has seen him in almost a week, except for Bruce the other night. Something must not be right.”

“So… Who’s gonna check on him? Not gonna be me,” Tony said. “I’m not gonna piss him off.”

The room was silent again.

“Oh come on, really. No one?” Steve asked.

“Why not you?” Natasha rebutted.

“Because I’m fairly certain he likes me the least. He’ll probably just slam the door in my face.”

“Oh my god, okay, here.” Tony roused from his chair and went to the kitchen, pulling out a box of toothpicks from a drawer.

He proceeded to snap them, throwing tiny bits of toothpick into the garbage can.

“Come on, all of you. We’re drawing straws. Everyone get up and pick one.”

Each person moved to grab a toothpick from Tony. As you took yours, you hoped to God that you wouldn’t get the short stick.

You’d been working alongside the Avengers for 6 months – a little time after Loki joined. In that time, you’d gotten to know each person well. Some you were closer with than others, but overall you got along with everybody. Loki, however, was a different story. Most days you weren’t sure if he tolerated or hated you; other days, on the rare occasion, he treated you very kindly and joked with you. On any given day you couldn’t be certain what kind of attitude he would have. At this point you decided he was just a reformed asshole, and usually kept your distance.

Your last interaction with Loki on Monday was curt. You attempted to make small talk with him about his weekend, but many of his answers were one-worded, so the conversation wasn’t really a dialogue. He seemed agitated, but not more than usual. Maybe he was feeling depressed and that’s why he’s been holing himself up in his room?

It was time to show the toothpicks off. Everyone outstretched their hands and revealed theirs. You all compared sizes and, lo and behold, of course you had the short stick.

“Oh, great,” you said, blowing a puff of air out of your mouth.

“Thank god it wasn’t me,” Natasha said.

“Or me,” Clint responded.

“Phew,” said Bruce, deliberately avoiding eye contact with you.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” you said. “I’ll go figure it out. If he kills me, you’re all to blame and Tony’s paying for my funeral.”

You tossed your tiny toothpick into the trash and went to the elevator, hitting the ‘10’ button, the floor where most bedrooms were. At the end of the hall on the left side was Loki’s. In all the time you worked for the Avengers, you’d never gone to his room, not even knocked on his door. Loki was very private about his space and you respected that.

You brought up a fist, but hesitated, like a force prevented you from knocking on the door. Almost no one ever bothered him while he was in his room, and you were just a lowly human compared to superheroes and literal gods. The last thing you needed was a god’s ire directed at you.

Hopefully you could just knock on the door and find out he snuck out for the afternoon, and avoid an interaction altogether.

Knock knock.

Silence. You waited.

Knock knock knock.

You waited some more.

“Loki?” You asked. “I’m here to —“

“Here to what, mortal? Antagonize me?” Loki said from behind the door. His interruption startled you.

“We haven’t seen you in days, we just want to make sure you’re okay.”

The god swung open the door violently. You took a step back, alarmed by the sudden interaction. Loki’s face was deeply perturbed, and blue.

Blue!

And not just his face: his neck, his ears, his hands. His entire body was a deep blue. What’s more was that his eyes were entirely ruby red, whites and all. If you didn’t know him you would have gone running back down the hall. It was quite a terrifying sight to see, like a demon just opened the door. And yet, there was something about this appearance that beguiled you.

“I am alive,” he said. “Happy? Now leave me in peace.”

“Loki… what happened to you?”

He groaned. “It is the business of no one here. You will tell no one. Not Iron Man, not the Captain, none of them. You hear me? Make up a lie if they must know.”

“Loki, if you’re sick I want to help. Or did some magic you cast go wrong? I’ll tell them a lie, just tell me if there’s anything I can do.”

For a brief moment, his look of irritation and anger softened.

“I don’t think you can. But it was no magic, and I do not believe that I am sick.”

“Then why are you blue?”

He was quiet, then gave a long, drawn out sigh.

You expected to come here and get a door slammed in your face. Instead, Loki began explaining to you a part of him you never knew. Loki wasn’t Asgardian, he was something called Jotun, and he didn’t know about this for a millennia. He explained the Jotuns to you, then went on to say Odin kept his parentage a secret from him as a way to protect a peace treaty between the Asgardians and the Jotun. But what’s worse is that Odin also brought Thor and Loki up believing that Jotuns are barbaric murderers.

It was quite the info dump you weren’t prepared to hear.

Loki continued: “Despite my… monstrous heritage, there is still much I don’t know about that aspect of myself. A few days ago I began to feel ill; faint and light-headed, so I laid down on my bed. When I woke up, I no longer had my Asgardian appearance but my Jotun one, and I have been unable to change back since.”

“Are you weaker in this form? And are you positive this isn’t some kind of disease?” you asked.

“I am fairly certain, and all of my capabilities are at their fullest. However, I have been feeling agitated, angry, and frankly just on edge. It’s becoming worse by the day. I’ve confined myself to my room for the safety of myself and others, but I’m afraid that this… affliction is not going to cure itself on its own.”

“Maybe Tony can help? Or Bruce?”

Loki chuckled sardonically. “How would they? I have little knowledge of Jotun biology, what help could they possibly offer?

“Maybe…”

“Enough chatter, woman!” he exclaimed, making you jump. “I will find a solution on my own. Your concern has been noted. Leave me now, would you kindly?”

He shut the door in your face. You retreated back to the lounge in the penthouse. When you arrived, everyone stopped what they were doing to look at you.

“Well?” asked Steve.

“He’s alive,” you said. “And very grumpy, I would advise not to bother him. He told me he has some sort of Asgardian illness and it should go away soon.”

“That settles that. Great work,” said Tony. “I’m going to my lab now if anyone needs me.”

“I have some stuff to look over, so I’ll be going home for the day,” you said. “Ring me if you need me.”

When you got home to your apartment, you did do some work poring over your S.H.I.E.L.D. files like you said, but more of your time was spent wondering about Loki. You couldn’t stop thinking about how his true heritage was kept from him for a thousand years. It didn’t excuse what he did in New York but it sure did explain a lot. You were aware of his jealousy toward Thor, but the pieces connected a little more firmly now regarding his angry and irritable nature.

The other thing that you couldn’t expel from your mind were those ruby red eyes surrounded by sapphire skin. They were piercing, and sometimes when you blinked you could swear that you saw them flash in your retinas. They were frightening yet alluring. It was a shame he seemed to hate his true form so much – not that his usual one was ugly by any means.

Although Loki said to leave him be, you felt dreadfully sorry for him, on both accounts of his history and his current predicament. If he didn’t speak up soon, you would check on him again.

[devoureddreaa]

“true story”

so...eternal sunshine by ariana grande came out, and true story is top 3. (go stream!!! or listen to get the story. either way, it's getting streams :P). but we dropping back 2 back bangers, that's where it's @. hope you enjoooooy!!!

this is a true story about all the lies, he fantasied about you and him.

this is a true story about all the games..you know he plays.

you and megumi were basically, the star couple of your high school. everyone knew him, and everyone knew you; and everybody thought you two were perfect for each other.

and that’s what it was, it was perfect.

until it wasn’t.

until pretty boy here got way too ahead of himself like his father, and tried to play two ball games with one player. that player being himself.

he’d say he’d be out with friends, but he was actually out messing around around with a cheerleader.

megumi’s studying for a major test he has in a week? nah, he’s at a party making out with some girl in the corner.

meanwhile you were at home, thinking your perfect boyfriend was doing what he was telling you.

and when you found out the truth? it hurt, hell yea. but you really didn’t see the point in crying or being hurt, mostly due to the fact that you didn’t do much wrong. and there probably wasn’t anything you could do to prevent it. so, you just removed him on everything..without explanation.

staying with a cheater ain’t gonna happen to you.

it wasn’t what you wanted, nor was it what you needed.

“y/n, you cheated on megumi?”

“what?” you had just gotten to school, and you didn’t even get to rest your ass in the plastic chair before nobara hit you with that jarring sentence. “what are you talking about.?”

“he told everyone that you cheated on him, and that’s why he broke up with you.” your friend shrugged, “i dunno, none of my business.”

your eyebrows furrowed and your fist clenched. no fucking way he was doing this. your head turned to look over to see that megumi was sitting else where surrounded by his friend.

being consoled…

your feet moved before your brain could, and you were on your way over to him.

“yea man, she—”

“you little shit!” you grabbed megumi by the shirt collar and yanked him out of his seat. he could clearly see you were fuming. “you really going around telling people i cheated on you?!”

“cause you did.” megumi chuckled, “no need to get mad at the truth.”

you perked your head up and saw that the entire class was looking at the two of you. some even recording. you scoffed, and dropped megumi back down to where he originally sat. you realized what was happening, he was making you look like the bad guy by getting a reaction outta you in front of everyone. so even if you were to tell your side of the story, the true side, nobody would even try to believe you.

if he wanted you to play the villian, then you’d do that.

“i know how this goes, fushiguro.”

roll the cameras please! cause once the days started to roll, the lies that came out of megumi’s mouth got even more outlandish. it was like people were paying to see this, to see the scene that megun

“yea, she was a slut.”

“she fucked everyone on the football team, maybe even the basketball team with the way y/n is..”

“i doubt she’s a virgin, with the amount of guys i found in her phone.”

the shit almost made you wanna drop out of school. denying it didn’t work whatsoever, it was like everyone was brainwashed. it got to the point where you just started to accept it, and fed into his lies. you played whatever part you needed him too, and that came with spinning the story a bit.

“you’d find somebody else too, gumi’s head game was weak.”

“why would i stay with him when he fucks with cheerleaders? he probably contracted a disease.”

“eh, yuuji’s lowkey better anyways.”

the minute you started talking back, the minute megumi got his balls in a twist.

you closed your locker to look over and see one irritated megumi, “what?”

“what? don’t ‘what’ me, y/n! yknow what you’re doing!” megumi was one laid back person so seeing him start to raise his voice and his face get kinda red, it was laughable.

you shrugged, “doing what? playing my role?”

“what role—”

“look, if your gonna get mad at the truth. you should watch where you lay, fushiguro.”

you thought doing what he wanted would make him feel better. but it obviously didn’t, and it confused you, but you didn’t stop cause he told you to. you were fine being the one he loved to hate, megumi was bothered..and you weren’t.

the next girl he got with (and cheated on), he got caught. no matter how much lying he tried to do, the proof was concrete and undeniable. you explain your story at all, you knew what was true and what wasn’t.

everybody wanted to believe what they heard, no what they were told.

clap it up, clap it up. ya girl hasn’t disappeared for a month, no need for applause! i’m here all night! (LMFOOOAOA). but, love ariana. love, eternal sunshine. go stream it. hope you enjoyed, love ya baaaaiii!!! (if you saw any typos no you didn’t!!!)

[ardenation]

THOUGHTS ON (some of) SWEET TOOTH SEASON 3

Just my rambles. Also I only remembered sweet tooth existed 2 days before the third season came out so I quickly re-watched season 2 and then season 3 right after AND WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS SHOW.

spoilers under the cut

Okay, I can't remember which order the episodes are so I'm winging it here and just word vomiting. in my defense my best friend is away camping and I have nobody to yap about this to so tumblr gets it instead.

The first thing I can remember is that whole thing with the bat kid. OH MY GOD. that poor kid man. it's so awful how his parents raised him to believe that what he was was unfit for society, below humans, and not natural. no kid should have to grow up like that. I don't completely blame the parents, but there were some very, very bad decisions made. and the fucking scene where the dad tries to cut off the baby's hybrid traits??? I got SO reminded of when Gus' antler was cut off. baby boy was mutilated. but the difference between the scene with the baby and gus was that nobody was there to stop it from happening. nobody was there to wrangle the saw out of that guy's hands. bruh. tears. I fucking hate it here.

also live laugh love Rani <33

uhh I dunno what comes after that so let's jump to the boat episode! *laughs nervously*

That. freaking. episode. broke me. I didn't even want to keep watching after that (lie) because it was just so incredibly awful. just when they walked onto that boat for the first time and It was dead silent? goosebumps. especially after finding that dead body. by the way, this is when I started to dislike Dr. singh. bro fell way off after Rani left. anyway, I did not trust Darwin AT ALL when he was introduced. I thought he was shady as all hell. Glad I was proved wrong in the end, though. not important. let's talk about those dead bodies and what Gus had to do because that is a whole rodeo.

I admit, when I first heard he was going to have to find and toss dead bodies overboard my first thought was 'FUCK yes trauma angst trauma angst trauma angst' because what can I say, it's how my brain works. it started off pretty chill, the deer boy doing some nice yardwork and tossing the flowers overboard. okay. this is fine. oh, shit, now he's found dead bodies. oh my god he's crying. oh my god i'm crying. MY BABY. MY BABY BOY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU?! anyway that was probably the most fucked up thing I have ever watched in my life. kill me. kill me- and the fact that he kept all the people's little things as ways to remember them? what the fuck. what the hell netflix. why would you do this. he's just a little kid. I'm going to kill someone. ALSO I fucking KNEW Darwin was going to get sick. I was watching it with my little sister, and when he popped up I went 'bet you Gus is gonna look away and darwin's finger is gonna start twitching' then BOOM. also, that makes it so much worse. at this point I was like, how many more people is this poor kid going to to lose? WHY IS HE SO TRAUMATIZED???

hahaha. boy oh boy.

side note, why was Siana and Birdie actually so cute? I would've loved for their relationship to be explored more before... yk. and Nuka?? my baby. my darling. she means everything, actually.

wait what happens next?? idk

episode 7 time! or at least the end of it.

first of all, FUCK YOU DR. SINGH. I LIKED YOU AT THE START BUT NOW?.ALL THIS DESTINY BULLSHIT 'it's my destiny to kill gus' BRO YOU JUST SAID YOUR DESTINY IS TO MURDER AN INNOCENT CHILD?? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN. THIS IS WHY RANI LEFT. and when Adi was getting closer and closer to stab Gus, when he was screaming and kicking, I was actually going to vomit and cry. what the actual fuck. why is this show so incredibly messed up. it's not even funny. this is the most disturbing shit I have seen in a while which is saying a lot. the sheer horror of the things in this show once you start to think about it is insane. anyway before that whole thing I genuinely thought 'hm I think that blood on Adi's knife in the vision thing is actually big man's blood because he probably protected gus' and I was half right? I was not expecting Birdie to be killed AT ALL. It totally took me by surprise. once again, this show is so horrifying and sad. Gus crying over Birdie. i'm going to die. he's an orphan. why is this stupid world so mean to this kid?? he's turning into fucking Peter Parker for god's sake! I really, really thought big man was going to die in that cave. and imagine if he did? Gus would've lost both his parents AND his father figure in just a few months. I would've lost my mind. anyway. birdie's dead. jesus fucking christ. WHY. JUST WHY. NETFLIX, STOP HURTING MY BOY.

Alright, let's see if I can remember literally anything that happens in episode 8.

It was such an emotional rollercoaster fr. I felt like I was getting emotional whiplash every five seconds. he's gonna die! wait, he's gonna live! now this guy is actually gonna murder Gus! wait, now this guy turned good and saved him! holy shit, everybody is going to die- holy shit EVERYBODY IS DEAD! wait, Gus cut himself to bleed on a tree and now they're alive! oh my god, Gus finally snapped! wait, now his dead dad is popping up and convincing him to save people again! OH MY GOD BECKY IS DEAD! WAIT OH MY GOD SHE'S ALIVE! (I think that one was the worst) NO is big man going to die on that mountain?? oh good he's not! omg jordan actually died in the crash!

....there was no resolution to that one. good riddance. sorry Jordan fans.

and then we had the whole reveal of Gus being the narrator the whole time- how tf did I not predict that?? Also, am I the only one who doesn't like stuff that does those huge timeskips where it shows the main characters when they're old. is it just me who doesn't like it. okay i'll go

let's talk about Gus and Wendy for a second. honestly, throughout the whole of season 2 and three there was a little nagging voice in my head saying 'it's a boy and a girl interacting.... you know they're going to end up together' and I would tell my head 'stfu, I wouldn't really like that because there are no good girl boy friendships in any media ever that's completely platonic (mostly, anyway)'. I was hoping SO SO badly Wendy and Gus would stay platonic besties forever, simply because it's cute and stuff like that barely happens. praying to GOD. but I knew deep down it was hopeless from the start. I don't like when media does that. 'oh, look! it's a boy and a girl of the same age meeting as kids! OBVIOUSLY the only possible route to go from here is romance, RIGHT?' I mean i'm biased as a gay enby chronically online person who thinks these stereotypes are shit but it's true. don't get me wrong. I love wendy. I love her so, so so much. but just- WHY?! I was at least hoping it would be somebody we didn't know or something. oh well.

i mean, I guess they only held hands a few times and sat together as old people, so maybe there's a tiny little chance it wasn't romantic? but they also had grandkids. yk what fuck canon. they're old besties. I think they'd be cute either way but I just prefer them friends.

SO. the sweet tooth fanfic community. it's admittedly nonexistent. I went to check the tag earlier and like- what?? it's ALL weird shit. there was like three good ones but just like why Is that all of what's in our fandom?? guys, we have not done well.

I call upon all ao3 authors and encourage them write sweet tooth (if you want to). It doesn't even matter if it's a short fluffy or angst drabble, we just need to wash the weird shit out. go ahead and post that 200 word interaction you wrote between big man and Gus in the aftermath. we need more good fic in this fandom, DESPERATELY.

and why did the writers put Gus through so much. like his dad dies, he's captured, traumatized, mutilated, shot in the leg, shot in the back, traumatizedx100 on the boat, watches his mom get murdered to protect him, has his father figure almost die multiple times, has a scientist try to kill him with a knife while holding him down multiple times, fucking snaps, and idek. WHYYYYYY. WHAT DID HE EVEN DO TO DESERVE THIS?? WHAT DID ANYBODY DO IN THIS SHOW TO DESERVE ALL THAT HAPPENED TO THEM?????? man....

I think that's all that's in my brain? this wasn't really a review just me spitting words.

moral of the story, I have adopted Gus and that is that. if you managed to get through all this you have a longer attention span than everybody I know combined when they try to listen to me ramble so congrats lmao

and I know I only brought up a few things but don't even get me started on Zhang, Rosie, and her kids because I will not shut up. and Jordan. Jordan why did you do that. and Munaq, that poor guy. ANYWAY I gotta stop talking now cuz it's 9:45pm byeee