#i drew this so it could be a background for the previous art when i realized i could do another small prompt real quick the other day

[flamestar126]

Underneath the mistletoe

[goldsainz]

# DREW STARKEY — BEHIND THE SCENES !

MASTERLIST !

001. SUMMARY !

✯ a recollection of moments from when you and drew filmed your first movie together.

002. WARNINGS !

✯ probably inaccurate acting scenes, slight angst.

003. NOTE !

✯ guys i’ve spent more time conjuring up ideas about the fictional movie (knowing greek mythology paid off) than actually writing this. again, zendaya is just a face claim for the social media parts but the reader can be imagined as anything or anyone you want! this is also the longest piece of writing i’ve ever done so i really hope it was worth the wait 🫶

word count : 6,6k

There was something undeniably thrilling about starting a new movie project. It wasn’t just the act of filming that exhilarated you, no, it was the entire experience: stepping into a fresh role, meeting new colleagues, and immersing yourself in the intricacies of a new story. Each character brought a unique set of challenges and emotions, making acting as intoxicating as it was fulfilling.

When your agent first mentioned Damien Chazelle’s latest project, it felt like the stars had aligned. A psychological thriller, a role so complex and sought after—it was the kind of opportunity actors dream about. After various auditions and callbacks, you finally got the call: you’d landed the part. But nothing could have prepared you for the shock of learning that Drew Starkey would also be starring in the film.

You’d first met Drew during Variety’s Actors on Actors interview series. The chemistry between you two had been immediate, magnetic, and brimming with potential. The interview itself was lighthearted, but fans couldn’t stop buzzing about the dynamic between you afterward. Social media was flooded with calls for you both to star in a film together. Little did they know that dream would soon become reality.

Your first day on set felt surreal. Despite all your preparation, a flicker of nervous energy pulsed in your chest. It wasn’t just about embodying Isabella, a role that demanded every ounce of emotional depth you had; it was about reuniting with Drew after the whirlwind of speculation and excitement that followed your previous encounter.

Then, as if on cue, you spotted him. He stood across the bustling set, deep in conversation with Damien Chazelle. Already in costume—tailored slacks, an impeccably pressed shirt, and a hint of disheveled hair that somehow enhanced his charm—he looked every bit the enigmatic and manipulative art dealer, Theo. It was almost unsettling how effortlessly he slipped into character.

A pang of nervous energy tightened in your chest, but you masked it quickly. You were no stranger to working alongside talented actors, but something about Drew made you want to push yourself even harder—to impress him, match his intensity, or simply hold your own against the charisma that seemed to radiate from him.

As Drew turned and caught sight of you, his expression shifted. A flicker of recognition passed over his face, followed by a grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He excused himself from his conversation with Damien and strode toward you, his step casual yet deliberate.

“Well, look who’s here,” he said, his tone teasing but undeniably warm. “The artist herself.”

“Drew,” you replied, matching his energy with a smirk. “Or should I say, Theo?”

“Touché,” he shot back, his grin widening as he stopped in front of you. “Guess we’re both stepping into some big shoes this time.”

The air between you hummed with unspoken energy, the hum of the crew around you fading into the background.

“So,” he began, his voice quieter now, tinged with sincerity. “How are you feeling about all this? Ready to dive into the chaos?”

You chuckled softly, a mix of excitement and nerves bubbling beneath the surface. “As ready as I’ll ever be. And you?”

His gaze softened, the playful edge giving way to something earnest. “Same. But if there’s anyone who can bring Isabella to life, it’s you. You’ve got this.”

The weight of his words settled over you like a warm blanket, bolstering your confidence. “Thanks, Drew,” you said, your voice touched with gratitude. “That means a lot.”

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Just don’t forget to save some of that intensity for the scenes. I hear Theo and Isabella have… interesting dynamics.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful smile curving your lips. “Oh, I haven’t forgotten. Just try to keep up, Starkey.”

His laughter was genuine, the kind that made your chest feel lighter. “Challenge accepted.”

The set had an almost electric feel today. The tension in the air mirrored the intensity of the scene you were about to film, a confrontation that pushed Isabella to her limits. Drew had just finished his scenes as Theo, but instead of retreating to his trailer for a break, he chose to stay behind the cameras, watching you as you prepared for your big moment.

He leaned against a quiet corner of the set, his arms crossed, his gaze never leaving you. You were already in character, your body language shifting as you transformed into Isabella. Drew had seen it all; the way you could disappear into your role, the way you made every moment feel alive, even the smallest of gestures. It was magnetic, captivating, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

You were standing across from a male crew member, discussing the next scene. Drew noticed how naturally you interacted with him, the ease with which you joked around, the warm laughter that escaped you as you shared a quiet moment between takes. There was nothing flirtatious about it, nothing intentional. It was just your charm, your ability to connect with anyone, to make them feel like they were the only person in the room.

But as Drew watched, a pang of something unfamiliar twisted in his chest. The crew member—an assistant director, he knew—was praising you. “You’ve really outdone yourself today,” the man said with a grin, clapping you on the back. “Isabella’s depth? Incredible. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone pull that off quite like you.”

You smiled, your cheeks flushing with the kind of humility that made Drew’s heart ache. “Thank you, that’s all I wanted,” you said, clearly grateful for the acknowledgment but never one to boast.

Drew’s grip on the railing tightened, a strange feeling settling in his gut as he watched you laugh and engage so effortlessly. He had always admired your talent—hell, he had always been in awe of it—but today, for some reason, it felt different. The warmth in the crew member’s praise, the way he seemed to linger a little longer, a little too long, sent a sharp twinge of jealousy through Drew. He hated the way it felt, hated how quickly it consumed him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be appreciated—he did. You deserved all the recognition in the world. But the knowledge that someone else was seeing the very qualities he had admired in you from the start, that someone else could see what made you so unique... it made something inside him stir.

And it wasn’t just admiration he felt for you—it was something deeper, something he had tried to ignore ever since that first interview. He could remember the spark between you both, the effortless connection that had only grown stronger since then. Every moment with you, every conversation, had somehow led him here. To this feeling, this painful realization that he wasn’t just drawn to you as a friend or a co-star—he was falling for you.

But he wasn’t sure if you saw him the same way. Or if you ever would.

He swallowed hard, trying to shake off the feeling, but it lingered, gnawing at him as the scene began. Drew watched from the shadows as you took your position, your posture shifting with the weight of Isabella’s inner turmoil. The camera rolled, and the world seemed to disappear. He wasn’t thinking about the crew member anymore, or the way you had smiled at him.

No, Drew was too focused on the way you delivered your lines. Every word you spoke seemed to come from a place of real pain, real desperation. It was like watching a storm roll in, one that consumed everything in its path.

When Damien called cut, the set fell silent for a beat. Drew’s breath caught in his throat. You were brilliant. He’d known it for a long time, but watching you right here, right now, brought it all to the forefront—how far you had come, how much of yourself you put into every scene.

He watched you stand tall, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, eyes still distant from the intensity of the scene you’d just played. And as you looked around, Drew’s gaze softened. You were remarkable.

The crew member who had been praising you earlier walked up to you again, and Drew couldn’t help but feel that same uncomfortable stir in his chest. He had to admit, it wasn’t just the praise that bothered him—it was the way this guy kept looking at you. Drew quickly averted his eyes, his jaw tightening as he turned his attention back to the crew.

But as you turned toward Drew, your eyes meeting his for just a second, something passed between you, something unspoken. You offered him a small, genuine smile, the kind that only he seemed to get. And in that brief moment, everything else faded away.

He took a breath, forcing the jealousy back down. The weight of it, the sting, wasn’t going to cloud this moment. He knew what he felt. It was real, it was undeniable, and maybe, just maybe, there was still time to figure it all out. But for now, all he could do was admire you from afar, watch as you brought your character to life, and hope that one day, you’d see him the way he saw you.

And with that thought, Drew finally stepped forward, his resolve firming, ready to give you the space and respect you deserved while also knowing that there was so much more he wanted to say.

The scene you were filming was a culmination of everything Isabella had been building toward—raw, vulnerable, and utterly shattering. It wasn’t just a performance; it was a reckoning, the moment when all her carefully buried pain and longing erupted to the surface. Every word you spoke felt like tearing open a wound, every gesture a desperate plea for salvation. The air was thick with tension, and you could feel the weight of every eye on set, holding their breath, waiting to see if you could pull it off.

Drew, as Theo, stood before you, towering in every sense of the word. His presence wasn’t just physical; it consumed the space, dominating the scene like a storm about to break. His voice, low and cutting, delivered lines that felt like knives slicing through the air, leaving no room to hide. When his eyes locked onto yours, the intensity was unbearable, like he could see right into you—not just Isabella, but you.

The camera captured the moment your composure shattered, tears spilling as your voice cracked under the weight of the scene. You weren’t sure where Isabella ended and you began anymore. The pain felt too real, too sharp, and when Damien finally called “cut,” the word sliced through the tension like a knife. The silence that followed was deafening, a stark contrast to the storm you’d just weathered.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, the rawness of the moment clinging to you like a second skin. Your chest heaved as you struggled to come back to yourself, but the emotions wouldn’t let go. Your hands trembled at your sides, and for a brief, terrifying moment, you thought you might break apart completely.

“Hey,” Drew’s voice cut through the haze, soft but insistent. His hand was on your arm before you even realized he’d crossed the room. His touch was grounding, his presence a lifeline. “Look at me,” he said, his tone low, coaxing.

You turned your head slowly, meeting his eyes, and the concern there undid you. Your breath hitched, and a tear slid down your cheek before you could stop it. “I… I don’t know how long I can keep doing this,” you whispered, the words tumbling out, raw and unfiltered. “It’s too much. I feel like I’m drowning.”

Drew didn’t hesitate. He stepped closer, his hand sliding from your arm to your shoulder, then to the small of your back, pulling you gently but firmly into his embrace. You froze for a moment, caught between the instinct to hold it together and the overwhelming need to let go. His arms wrapped around you, warm and steady, and the dam broke.

“I can’t,” you choked out, your voice muffled against his chest. “I feel like I left everything out there, and there’s nothing left of me. Nothing.”

His grip tightened, his hand cradling the back of your head as his fingers threaded gently through your hair. “Shh,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re not empty. You’re just wide open right now, and that’s what makes this real. That’s what makes you extraordinary.”

You clung to him, your hands fisting the fabric of his shirt as sobs wracked your body. He didn’t rush you, didn’t try to fix it or make it better. He just held you, his own breathing steady and calm, like he was anchoring you to the world.

“I saw you out there,” he whispered after a moment, his lips brushing against your temple. “You weren’t just acting. You were her. Every ounce of pain, every flicker of hope—you brought it to life. You made them feel it. You made me feel it.”

You pulled back slightly, your tear-streaked face tilted up to meet his gaze. His eyes were glassy, his own emotions barely restrained, and the vulnerability between you was electric. “But what if it’s not enough?” you asked, your voice breaking.

“It is,” he said firmly, his hand cupping your face now, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “It’s more than enough. You’re enough.” His voice cracked on the last word, the raw sincerity in it making your chest tighten.

The world around you seemed to blur, the sounds of the crew preparing for the next take fading into the background. All you could see, all you could feel, was Drew. He gave you a small, almost imperceptible nod, his hand steadying your shoulder.“You’ve got this,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, but laced with unwavering conviction. “And I’ve got you. Always.”

The day had been long—endless takes, precision, and the kind of emotional exhaustion that made every muscle in your body ache. Filming had wrapped for the day, but the atmosphere on set hadn’t fully shifted. The quiet hum of equipment and the occasional voices from the crew still echoed around you, but you felt the weight of the day lift as you retreated to the solitude of your trailer.

You were halfway through removing your costume when a soft knock at the door caught your attention. It was a gentle knock, familiar in its rhythm, and you immediately recognized it.

“Come in,” you called, already knowing who it was.

The door creaked open, and there stood Drew, leaning against the frame with a lazy smile that instantly made the tension in your shoulders ease.

“Long day?” he asked, his voice low and smooth, and there was a glint of playfulness in his eyes, but it was tempered with something warmer, something more tender.

“Understatement,” you replied, rolling your eyes, though your smile betrayed the exhaustion you were trying to hide.

He nodded and pushed the door open a little more, stepping inside. The space felt smaller with him in it, but somehow it didn’t feel crowded. It felt… comfortable. Safe.

Drew’s gaze drifted over to the small sofa beside the window, and without a word, he took a seat, kicking his shoes off and stretching his legs out. You couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly he seemed to move, like he was made to fit into this small space as if he belonged here, with you.

You finished removing the last of the costume and dropped it into the nearby hamper, but instead of diving into your usual post-filming routine of unwinding, you found yourself walking over to him, drawn to the quiet energy between you. He looked up at you, his gaze softening as you neared.

“Come here,” he murmured, his voice almost a whisper, as if the very sound of it could pull you closer.

You didn’t hesitat to sit down beside him. There was a comfortable silence between you two, the kind that didn’t need to be filled with words. You leaned back against the cushions, the heat from his body radiating beside you.

Drew turned his head slightly, catching your eye. His expression was different from how he’d been on set—this wasn’t the charismatic, calculated Theo. This was Drew, the man you had come to know off-camera. His gaze was tender, almost searching, as if he was asking permission for something more.

Without a word, he reached for your hand, his fingers brushing over yours before lacing them together. The small contact sent a flutter through you, the simple act of his touch carrying an intimacy that felt far more profound than it had any right to be.

“Can I just…” he began, his voice trailing off for a moment before he squeezed your hand gently. “Can I just be here with you for a while? No cameras, no lines, just us?”

You nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “I’d like that.”

His thumb began to trace soft circles over the back of your hand, and you leaned into him, the quiet between you two settling into something even deeper than physical proximity. His body was warm, and his scent—fresh and slightly woody—wrapped around you like a blanket, comforting in its familiarity.

“You were incredible today,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. His words held no pretense, just raw sincerity. “Every time I see you step into a scene, it’s like you bring something new to the table. I don’t know how you do it.”

You could feel your heart flutter at his praise, but instead of letting it sink in fully, you shifted your focus back to him, tilting your head slightly to catch his eyes. “What about you? You’re kind of a force to be reckoned with, Starkey.”

He chuckled softly, the sound low and genuine, and you felt him shift closer, his shoulder brushing against yours. “I’m just trying to keep up with you,” he teased, but there was no mistaking the fondness in his voice. He leaned in just enough for his breath to graze your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “You’re something else, you know that?”

Before you could respond, he moved his hand from yours, slowly resting it on your cheek, his touch soft but possessive. The weight of his gaze locked onto yours, and you could feel the air shift between you—charged, magnetic, undeniable.

“I’ve wanted this moment for a while,” he admitted quietly, his thumb grazing your cheekbone.

Your pulse quickened, your breath hitching as his hand slid around to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You didn’t fight it; you closed the gap, your lips meeting his in a kiss that was slow, deliberate, and filled with the kind of quiet longing that had built between you for weeks now.

The kiss deepened, and everything outside of the small trailer seemed to fade away. There was no set, no crew, no expectations—just the two of you, wrapped up in the space you had created together. It wasn’t hurried or urgent. It was soft, a tender promise without words, like something neither of you had realized you needed until it was happening.

When you finally pulled away, breathless, you found yourself leaning your forehead against his, sharing the same air between you. He smiled, his eyes glimmering with something that went beyond attraction.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he murmured, his voice thick with affection.

You closed your eyes, savoring the quiet after the storm of emotions on set, the gentle sound of his heartbeat in your ear, and the warmth of his embrace. “Me too,” you whispered back, letting the moment stretch on, knowing it was one you’d carry with you long after the lights went down and the cameras stopped rolling.

The morning after your quiet, intimate moment in the trailer felt different. There was a strange kind of weight in the air between you and Drew that neither of you could ignore. The atmosphere on set was charged with an unspoken energy, the kind that hung between two people who had shared something personal but weren’t quite sure how to navigate it in the daylight.

As the crew began setting up for the first scene of the day, you found yourself standing off to the side, absentmindedly checking your script, but every now and then, your eyes would flicker toward Drew. He was standing with Damien, talking animatedly about something, but there was a tightness in his posture that wasn’t there before. He had always exuded confidence, but now, there was a subtle hesitance to his movements—like he was still figuring out where you stood with each other after the kiss.

You could feel it too. The usual camaraderie between you two was laced with something different now. The chemistry was still there, but it felt like a live wire; dangerous and unpredictable. The playful banter that had flowed so easily between you the day before seemed distant, replaced by awkward silences whenever you found yourselves in the same vicinity.

You tried to shake it off. This was your job. You were here to work, to give your best performance, and that had to come first. But no matter how much you told yourself to focus, the tension was inescapable.

The first scene you were filming together was a pivotal one—Isabella’s first real confrontation with Theo, a moment where everything changes between them. Your character was supposed to be cool and collected, but deep down, she was unraveling at the seams. You had to bring all that turmoil, all that internal chaos to the surface in a matter of moments.

When Damien called “Action,” the professional masks slipped on almost instinctively, and you both fell into character.

Drew’s performance was colder today, more distant, his usual charm replaced by a simmering, quiet intensity. His eyes, once warm and full of teasing, now held a cold calculation as they met yours. You could feel the weight of his gaze, and though it was just acting, the memory of the night before lingered, making the scene feel even more charged than it should have been.

“You think you have control of this, Isabella?” Theo’s voice was sharp, the words cutting through the air like a blade.

You shot back, the defiance in Isabella’s eyes glaring through your own. “Your entire scheme depends on me, Theo. Without me, it crumbles to dust. If that’s not control, I don’t know what is.”

The words came easily, but every time you locked eyes with Drew, there was a brief flicker of something behind his gaze—a flicker of the intimacy you’d shared, a memory that was suddenly alive in the space between you. It was hard to shake, and you could tell it was affecting his performance too. His lines weren’t as crisp as usual, his timing slightly off, as though he was distracted.

The tension was palpable, hanging over the scene like a cloud, and the moment you wrapped the scene, the silence that followed felt deafening.

Damien looked between the two of you, his brow furrowing slightly. “Let’s take a break,” he said after a moment, clearly sensing the shift in energy. “Maybe a few minutes to reset?”

You nodded quickly, eager for the space, for the chance to breathe outside of the tight bubble of tension. Drew, on the other hand, didn’t say anything. He simply nodded curtly, giving you a quick glance that made your stomach flip before turning away to walk toward the corner of the set.

You stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Should you approach him? Pretend nothing had changed? Or should you give him space, let the awkwardness settle, and let the scene breathe?

You didn’t get the chance to think too long. A hand gently touched your shoulder, and you turned to find Cailee Spaney, your co-star, standing beside you, a concerned look on her face.

“You two okay?” she asked, her tone light, but there was a genuine curiosity behind it. She knew you both well enough to sense the shift.

You hesitated. “I think so. Just… a weird energy today, you know?”

Cailee’s eyes flickered over to where Drew stood, chatting with the crew but still glancing in your direction. “It’s pretty obvious to everyone. You’ve got to clear the air, or it’s going to keep hanging over both of you.”

You knew she was right. The unspoken tension between you and Drew wasn’t just something that could be ignored—it would affect the work, the connection between your characters, and maybe even the rest of the team’s comfort. But you weren’t sure how to fix it. How do you go from that intimate moment behind closed doors to this, to being back in the public eye with cameras rolling, no room for vulnerability?

As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, Drew’s voice broke through, calling your name.

“Hey,” he said, walking toward you, his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyes uncertain but earnest. “Can we talk?”

You nodded, stepping a little closer to him. There was an intensity in his gaze now, but it wasn’t the cold, calculating Theo you’d seen on set. This was Drew, the one you knew—the one who had kissed you, the one who was just as affected by everything as you were.

“Look,” he started, his voice lower than usual. “I’m not… I don’t want this to be weird. I don’t want it to mess with the work, with the scenes. I just—”

“Yeah,” you interrupted softly, “me neither. It’s just… it’s hard to go back to pretending nothing happened.”

He smiled weakly, and you could see the tension in his face ease a little. “You’re right. But we’ve got this. We’ll figure it out. Just need to get through today, right?”

You took a deep breath, nodding. “Right.”

And for the first time since you’d kissed him, you both shared a moment of quiet understanding—no more words needed. You still didn’t know how this would all play out, but for now, you had a scene to finish, a role to play, and a bond that had quietly shifted in ways neither of you could ignore.

The last day on set arrived like a blur—one moment, you were just starting the project, and now, you were standing in the middle of the set for the final scene, everything winding down. It felt surreal, almost like you were moving through a dream. The camaraderie you’d built with the cast and crew, the long hours, the inside jokes, and the late-night rehearsals were all coming to a close. And yet, there was a weight in the air—one that had little to do with the wrap-up of the film.

You and Drew had navigated the tension between you both for weeks now, silently acknowledging it but never fully addressing it. Both of you had poured your energy into the project, the work taking center stage, but there had always been that quiet pull between you. Now, as you watched the final scene being set up, there was no denying it: this wasn’t just about wrapping the film. There was something unspoken that you knew needed to be said.

Drew was already on set, his costume as Theo impeccably sharp, his eyes distracted as he ran through lines under his breath. He looked different today—softer, like the walls he’d built around himself throughout the project were crumbling.

The last scene between Isabella and Theo was intense, charged with everything they’d been through together. It was a pivotal moment, where they both stood at a crossroads, neither sure of where the future would take them. The connection between you two felt more real than ever, and you knew this was the moment where it all had to come to a head—both on screen and off.

As the crew prepared for the final take, you caught Drew’s eye from across the set. There was something in his gaze—a flicker of hesitation, like he wanted to say something, but the moment wasn’t quite right. You couldn’t let it go.

You moved toward him, your footsteps echoing in the quiet before the chaos of the scene began. As you approached, Drew straightened up, his hands fidgeting nervously at his sides.

"Hey," you said, offering him a small smile. “Ready to wrap this up?”

He returned the smile, but there was an unreadable look in his eyes. “Yeah, but... I’ve been thinking.”

You raised an eyebrow, a sense of curiosity stirring in your chest. “About?”

He shifted slightly, the weight of his words hanging between you two. “About us. About... everything.” He swallowed, his usual confident demeanor faltering. “You know, the way things have been between us. We’ve never really talked about it.”

Your heart skipped a beat. The air between you felt thick, charged. It was as if the words had been waiting to spill out for weeks, and now, in the stillness of the final day, they couldn’t be contained any longer.

“Drew…” you started, your voice barely a whisper, unsure of what to say.

He stepped closer, the space between you narrowing until it felt like no one else existed. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while now,” he continued, his voice a little rougher than usual, the weight of his feelings making every word feel like it carried more meaning than it ever had before. “I can’t pretend anymore. Not after everything we’ve been through. Not after how I feel about you.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and for a moment, everything around you seemed to fade into the background. The noise of the set, the crew bustling about, even the upcoming scene—it all vanished as Drew’s words sank in.

“I care about you,” he said, his voice softer now, the intensity of his confession undeniable. “More than I’ve let on. More than I probably should. But I can’t ignore it anymore, and I don’t want to walk away from this without telling you.”

You stood there, the weight of his confession hanging in the air. It felt like a moment frozen in time—one that had been building for weeks, but now that it was finally here, you didn’t know how to respond.

For a beat, you didn’t say anything. You just looked at him, trying to process the rush of emotions his words had triggered. But then, a smile began to tug at the corners of your lips. You took a step closer to him, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I’m glad you said that,” you whispered, your voice steady, but your emotions running wild beneath the surface. “I’ve been feeling the same way, Drew. I just didn’t know if you felt the same.”

He gave a small, relieved laugh, his eyes brightening with that familiar warmth. “I’ve been trying to convince myself to wait until the film wrapped, until everything calmed down. But every time I looked at you... it just felt like I was lying to myself.”

You laughed softly, the tension between you easing, replaced by something deeper, something real. “I think we’ve both been lying to ourselves,” you said, your hand unconsciously reaching out for his.

Drew’s fingers curled around yours, and for the first time in weeks, there was no awkwardness, no uncertainty—just the simple connection between you both, like a thread that had always been there, waiting to be pulled.

As the crew called for the final take, you both stood there for a moment longer, simply taking in the quiet of the moment before the storm of filming began again.

“Let’s finish this,” Drew said with a grin, his fingers still tightly holding yours.

You nodded, the anticipation in your chest matching the excitement in his eyes. "Yeah. Let’s do this."

The scene was about to begin, but for once, you weren’t worried about the cameras, the crew, or the pressure. For the first time in a long while, you were just here—with him. And that was enough.

As you both walked back onto set, side by side, you knew this moment, this day, was one that would stay with you long after the credits rolled. Drew had confessed his feelings, and the truth between you was no longer hidden. You had one more scene to film, but in that moment, it felt like the beginning of something entirely new.

The post-wrap party was everything you’d imagined it would be—laughter, music, and the celebratory sound ofclinking of glasses. The set was a distant memory now, the whirlwind of the past few months slowly fading into the background as you found yourself in the midst of the crew and cast, celebrating the end of a long, intense journey. The atmosphere was warm, filled with a sense of accomplishment and camaraderie.

Lights twinkled overhead, casting a soft glow over the gathering. The chatter was a mix of congratulatory remarks and funny anecdotes from behind the scenes. You could hear snippets of conversations as people relived the chaos of filming, the challenges, and the triumphs, but amidst it all, your eyes couldn’t help but drift back to Drew.

He was leaning against the bar, chatting with a few of the crew members. Even from across the room, you could feel the pull between you—the magnetic energy that had only intensified since that first kiss. The way he’d laughed with you on set, the way he’d confessed his feelings on that last day—it all felt like a beautiful dream, yet it was real. You couldn’t shake the quiet contentment that had settled in your chest, a feeling that only seemed to grow stronger with every passing minute.

Your heart warmed as you watched him, the soft light from the party highlighting the sharpness of his jaw, the playfulness in his eyes. Drew looked at home here, yet he had a way of making everything feel more meaningful just by being present. He was grounded and alive in a way that made you feel safe, as if you’d found a place in this world where you truly belonged.

Finally, your legs moved on their own, carrying you through the crowd. Each step brought you closer to him, closer to something that felt inevitable. And when he turned toward you, as if he’d sensed your approach, his eyes lit up with the warmth that had become familiar. There was no awkwardness now, no uncertainty—only the comfort of knowing that you and Drew were no longer tiptoeing around each other. What had started as something tentative had grown into something real, something undeniable.

“Hey,” Drew said with that soft smile of his, his voice like home. “I was wondering when you’d come over.”

You smiled back, moving closer to him, feeling the way his presence filled the space between you. “Couldn’t resist. The party’s fun, but... I’d rather be here with you,” you replied, your voice low and sincere.

Drew’s smile deepened, his gaze softening as he looked at you, his eyes full of something that went beyond simple affection. He raised his glass in a mock toast. “To the film, to the work, and to... us, I guess,” he said, a little shy but so genuine that it made your chest ache.

You lifted your own glass to meet his, the soft clink of the glasses an almost imperceptible note in the music that surrounded you. “To us,” you echoed, the words settling deep within you, filling the empty spaces you didn’t even realize existed. It was real now, the connection, the undeniable bond that had been growing between you since the moment you first locked eyes on set.

The music played softly in the background, but in that moment, it felt like everything was quieter—more intimate. You were standing there together, both of you caught in the soft embrace of a night that felt endless, where time stood still. Drew’s presence was a comfort you hadn’t known you needed, and as you stood beside him, a peace settled over you that you hadn’t expected.

“Are you happy with how everything turned out?” Drew asked, his voice sincere, his eyes searching yours for something only you could give him.

You thought for a moment, your heart beating steadily in your chest. The long hours, the late-night rehearsals, the emotional scenes—it had all been a whirlwind. But standing there with Drew, feeling the warmth of his hand resting just above your waist, everything felt clearer. “Yeah,” you said, your voice steady but filled with warmth. “I’m proud of everything we did. Proud of how far we’ve come.”

Drew nodded, his gaze softening, and his lips curved into a smile that made your heart flutter. “Same here. You were incredible. You brought Isabella to life in a way I never thought possible.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Well, you weren’t so bad yourself, Starkey. Theo was... captivating, to say the least.” The words were teasing, but your smile spoke of something deeper—a sense of admiration and respect for everything he’d brought to the character.

His laugh was soft, a sound that sent warmth through your veins, and he moved a little closer, the space between you disappearing. “Thanks. But I think you’re the one who made everything come together. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner.” His words were simple, yet they carried a weight that made your chest tighten in the most wonderful way.

The connection between you deepened in that moment, like two puzzle pieces finally clicking into place. Drew’s gaze softened, and his voice dropped to a quiet whisper. “I meant what I said earlier,” he murmured, taking a step closer, his hand slipping into yours. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I know it’s crazy, but... I don’t want this to be just a set thing. What we have, I mean. I don’t want it to end when the film does.”

Your heart raced, and without a second thought, you took a small step toward him, the space between you now nonexistent. “Me neither,” you whispered, your hand gently cupping his face as you looked into his eyes. “I think this is just the beginning, Drew.”

A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, and his hand found the small of your back, pulling you closer, the warmth of his body enveloping you. Without another word, Drew leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in the softest kiss—a kiss that held everything unspoken. It was slow, a gentle exploration, as though both of you were savoring the moment, the sweetness of everything that had led you here.

When you pulled away, the world around you seemed to fade. The music, the laughter, the chatter—it all felt distant, as if the only thing that mattered was Drew, and the feeling of his arms around you, his lips on yours. “Then let’s see where it goes,” he said softly, his breath warm against your cheek.

You smiled, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. The world felt right in a way it hadn’t before. The film was over, but the connection you shared with Drew was just beginning to blossom, and you were content, certain that whatever happened next, you’d face it together.

The night continued around you, but for the two of you, it was just the beginning.

[evileyedoll]

LOST LOST really is 2023's theme for me. I spent most of this past year on my PhD project, so my output has been quite scarce overall - certainly so compared to the industriousness of years past. When I had chances to draw this year it was often like a gasp of air amidst a sea of my other efforts. "What's the next step forward?" I think at times. Consider the center drawing my face of course, because in real life I look like if cannonbolt was a sad refridgerator.

I started a new physical sketchbook and made some breakthroughs in my personal illustrations, but nothing I'm happy to share - in previous years I didn't have as much nervousness to experiment in public. Anyway this feels like a good opportunity to do a bit of a retrospective on the last ones of these I did.

In many ways 2022 was the best year of my work, I both did my most challenging (and correspondingly complex) pieces this year, and had the confidence to make several things a week. Past the initial few months I had really started to hone my mix of solid shapes, lineart and linelessness thats ubiquitous in my pieces now, though I wonder if I have grown too comfortable with the stability of a partial formula.

One disadvantage about only choosing nine pieces was that in wanting them to look good together I had to exclude a series of the coloured background pieces that interspersed the dark background ones. In those, I felt like a lot more of my effort went into the shape language, so there was a synergy with both approaches letting me understand things.

In 2021 I started using colours instead of grayscale, that years inktober could almost be said to be my best work, there was both a variety and scale to it..I drew something virtually every day for almost three or four months straight and crucially, I also shared it all after I was done. It really felt worth it planning art ahead, but also spontaneously filling the blanks it in the moment. That being said maybe that productiveness was not sustainable because I'd have very little time for much else after school, work and art.

Late in that year I realised I could just draw the things I like if I wanted, instead of the things I thought people wanted - so some of the later pieces really resembled discount warframes. That game has so deeply hooked itself into my visual library that I draw it even when I'm not intending to, and so when I started deliberately trying to evoke it (with very fledgling art analysis skills), I think I got more and more familiar with what I wanted.

In 2020 I was just starting out so I did not yet recognise there was something specific to aspire to - I dont have a retrospective montage like these other years for 2020. You can see virtually every piece I've ever uploaded on my instagram page, so I think I might not narrate as much about those in this post. Maybe in the future I'll review all these years through a completely different lens.

[reel-fear]

Wow, so umm... This looks bad, not only is it inaccurate due to using the wrong ink demon design [unless this is confirmation BATIM Ink Demon has been outright retconned... Which would make me pissed enough to make a new post just about THAT] but from an art standpoint this is just... Confusing and poorly done.

I wouldn't care if this was fanart, of course you should support young, indie artists... But for a Graphic Novel making sure your cover doesn't look like something Butch Hartman shat out in an afternoon is kind of important. Remember they're going to be asking us to give money to them to read this. The artist likely won't see any of that money and neither do the authors most of the time, not to mention this art screams of the artist being underpaid and overworked.

Like they Had to get something on someone's desk and their boss said 'good enough'. A concept Joey Drew Studios is very familiar with considering the allegations of poor working environments that Kindly Beast. Not to mention Mike Mood admitting in a Reddit AMA that they did in fact rush projects like Showdown Bandit. [Which they sold at full price]

He also says they can in fact say no or yes to designs involving their IP. Either Mike or Meatly had to say yes to this cover, according to his own damn words.

And do you really think this company in particular would care enough about its fanbase to not sell them garbage? They have done exactly that on several occasions. It's not like they care particularly about art either, considering their previous use of AI Art. There was no apology or even posts addressing it... Instead, they just rushed out an archives update to their game to get people to stop talking about it... Even forgetting an entire character in it. Again

This company is [or at least SHOULD BE] on thin ice when it comes to being suspected of misleading their fans or rushing out crappy products to them.

So with all that context in mind, I'm gonna talk about why this cover sucks ass.

The light sources are all over the place? Why does it look like someone put maces or knight armor on his shoulders but it's just flesh?? It looks both gross and weird [not in a good way either]

To explain more I'm going on a rant below but sadly this seems to have been confirmed to not just be a rough pass but the final cover and man... I am not excited about this graphic novel just at all. This felt like it really drained any possibility of it turning out good for me and I already had expectations low.

Okay first point, the light sources?? And there is no consistency here with the shadows or lighting, it looks like there's a hundred light sources all at once but none of them are even consistent!

the arrows here represent all the different light sources I can make out and yet the the shadow clearly implies there's only one. I understand wanting to use highlights to give the character a more clear shape but then just give him one or two lights behind him or in front of him? No matter how u follow the light sources, the highlights make no sense and the shadows make even less sense.

Why are the shoulders like that? Like on the legs it's a little understandable, at least those are clearly very heavily affected by perspective, for me I think they are so exaggerated it makes it look like one of the legs is either huge or one is small but that's maybe subjective.

However, the shoulders are unjustifiable, what happened there, what did they do??

I could pick on so much more honestly, how the color choices of piss yellow with no other colors being used, and the harsh pitch black being used for every part of his body is weird. How it looks straight out of Butch Hartman's recent crappy art. But to put bluntly bad start! Also what the HELL is going on with this background??

Seems once again the Bendy team is fine with sending out stuff thinking it's "Good Enough" for Bendy fans and honestly the people trying to tell me to "Be Grateful" for this are just proving that no matter how many times you betray your audience some of em will defend you!

Which is sad tbh. If anything we should be putting MORE pressure on the Bendy team to do better. Cause we deserve better than this, honestly we do. There are amazing artists in the bendy community who could do so much better for a cover. They've employed their fan artists before... Wouldn't it be great to do that for such a lore important book? The book that gives us the identity of one of the main characters in BATIM? The character you spend the entirety of Chapter 4 fighting to save? Not to mention will give several major characters their human designs?

But I guess this is... Good enough...

[lonelysheepling]

Advice for artists and non-artists but mainly just artists

You know how you do a thing for so long that it’s becomes super mundane and insignificant to you, like when you’re sewing something you just do a basic stitch and struggle to tie a standard knot at the end. But you don’t do this often enough for it to stand out to you. You’re an artist, hey maybe even a professional one, and you’ve been doing your art a certain way for a long time. You use pose references and look up environment pictures to reference. But you still draw shoes without a reference or you draw clothes without any detailed folds.

At various points in my art journey I tried using tutorials, resources, and step by step guides for drawing certain things, be that nature brushes, drawing noses front-on, etc. and my skills at the time were kinda basic so I could never really pull off the tutorials in a way that satisfied me. I then went years just improving on broad areas like perspective and posing, focusing more on the overall composition than the minor details. But one day, years later, I got bored and decided to look up how to draw clothing folds

On the left of the green line is some previous work, on the right was two pieces I drew after I heavily referenced cloth physics

Ignore the shading, lighting, colors, etc. the stuff on the right definitely has way better flow than the stuff on the left. Now it wasn’t like a “wow I used a reference and now I’m a master” situation, there was an adjustment period with some less than stellar examples

But when I created those first 2 folds it was like a fucking switch was flicked in my head and I’ve been improving ever since. I am immensely grateful that I just happened to go looking for reference photos because holy shit something as simple as improving my clothing folds massively boosted my confidence in my work. Something I’ve noticed after I followed tutorials is that during the adjustment period, while the first couple of pieces are very reminiscent of the source tutorial, they start to get a little too far off and I stop referencing the tutorial and start doing my own thing (for better or for worse), but there’s then a period afterwards where I go back (maybe after re-watching the original tutorial) and develop it more into my own style.

Here’s a graph to better explain my thought process

Here’s another gun to the head reminder to use references. Recently I was drawing shoes for a character and I have a pretty consistent method of drawing shoes (consistent, not good).

But I wanted it to look more rugged so I looked up an image of a hiking boot and guess at what point in this timelapse that the reference was pulled up

I had for years tried using tutorials and reference photos but the process never really clicked for me. But over the years I have improved my technical skills and I believe that those improvements and all that practice made it way easier for me to understand and replicate tutorials, i understand now how the specifics of certain things like shading and depth work, picking up new skills that are still in the area I work in became way easier. But Im obviously still finding areas in my art by random chance that I can improve on. Because I don’t think about those parts anymore, they’re in the background of my design process.

This is where my advice to non-artists comes in. Look up tutorials. For anything. You know earlier when I mentioned sewing? Look up a guide on stitching, I just learned today what a surgeons knot is despite having been hand stitching for years. You don’t know what you don’t know, you don’t seek out improvement when you don’t perceive the need to improve. Trust me, there’s always areas to improve but you are going to have to stretch your mind at some point to recognize them. Everybody talks about how you should use tutorials and use references and all that, but I don’t think many people are going to research tutorials for things they don’t feel like they need improvement in.

. Anyway that’s the end of my monthly psa

If something in this post confused you feel free to send me like an ask or a brick through my window with a note attached to it, I’m not picky.

[ribbonetteart]

A request for something a little different than usual 🍑👑

Progress stuff below:

I haven't done progress shots in a bit and I think it's something I want to do more often because I like talking and blogging I guess haha.

Now that I have more experience illustrating digitally, this kind of direct reference drawing is MUCH easier to do digitally 😫honestly this felt like a self imposed challenge lol. BUT I did want to do some more traditional stuff because I feel that I had been doing a little too much digital, if that makes sense. It's nice to play with my markers and color pencils once in a while too!!

Doing the line art on this piece ESPECIALLY felt easier to do traditionally than digitally. For some reason, trying to do line art on a tablet screen feels too smooth or slippery or something. Lining traditionally feels easier, probably because I put so much pressure on the paper in the sketch phase that when the lining phase comes next, it feels like I'm just following the lines on the page like a train on a track ^_^

despite uploading a couple of illustrations colored with marker now, I still feel a bit like a novice when it comes to marker. I got a new pack of markers that I wanted to play with, which was even more motivation to return to paper for a bit. But honestly, I feel like I fudged the window color blending. I watched tutorials and stuff on blending with markers but I guess I still need more practice ^^;;; at least it looks a bit messy to me. This is how this piece came to be a mixed media illustration, since I tried using color pencils to make that transition from blue to green on the windows a little smoother.

I think the pot holding the piranha plant came out a tad too saturated and it's calling too much attention compared to the very light floor and dresser. I was trying to follow the colors on the reference closely as an easy re-intro to traditional art, but next time I do something like this, I think I'll take more liberties with color and see what happens.

Overall, I'm quite happy with how Peach turned out. I don't draw humans too often since I typically draw Sonic characters lol. Sometimes it feels like I have to re-teach myself to draw people as a result. I really liked using the gelly roll for the highlights on her face and the polka dots on her shirt :3 I highly recommend using that pen as my previous experiences with other white gel pens don't compare to this one (not to sound like a commercial I'm just really happy it worked as well as it did!).

And finally, although redrawing a creation from a dress up game screenshot is probably not the most imaginative exercise I could be doing with illustration, I think it's fun and it's pushing me to do things outside of my comfort zone. I'm using new art tools (I'll get better with marker I prommy) and I drew a background! I'd like to do more backgrounds like this as a practice to encourage more original stuff. Maybe. One day. Probably.

If you read all of this until the end, thank you! Have a wonderful day, and thank you for following me and supporting my art :3c 💝

[planefood]

Hooray! Barrage attack!

1. Are you thinking of pitching this as a show? Or as a comic series? Or have you not decided fully yet? What shenanigans are they gonna be up to?

2. How long have you had your OCs for? What inspired you to make them, and what were their previous incarnations?

3. How did Sonnet and Lithium meet? Does Sonnet know he's... *underneath breath* kind of a stupid idiot? Or does she love him for that?

4. How does fashion work for robots? Since a lot of them have stuff like wire-tails and bright colors. Or does it not really affect them?

- 🔌

P.S: Do you have any tips for escaping... "debt collectors"? I may have accidentally pissed off the... "insurance company".

okay Hi im taking a short break from drawing thangs to answer this :) 1. I don't think i'd ever pitch any of my personal oc stories as a TV show or film. I don't like the idea of losing control and copyright of a story so near and dear to me and esp with the current state media is in a lot of stuff would be censored/edited and because I don't live in the states pitching an animated show or film would probably be near impossible for a story like this anyway. A comic on the otherhand is something im genuinely considering, I'd have to figure out the plot fully and find the time to do something like that as well. The story was written to be easily made into a comic format though. 2. These specific robot characters I've only actually had for like,,, 7 months? A lot of work has gone into them in that time span tho. But I'm sorry there isn't a huge timeline where I'm like "I drew my first robot in 2008 and that is where tandy begun" I kinda always had a background interest in robots that just needed the right spark. Back in 2020 I did some AU art of already existing characters as robots (if you know who these are, hi) but these weren't really proper characters, just a fun art prompt.

But I bought Tandy as an adoptable back last september by the artist @acid-redux heres the original design I bought here:

It's actually by a pretty slim chance that I bought this guy! I saw the character a couple months earlier and decided not to buy him initially and came back, saw it was unsold and thought about it. Even after some people told me it wasn't worth the money to buy it I decided to buy him anyway. I said I had "ideas" for him, and that I did. This is the first drawing I ever did of Tandy, if you're wondering if there's like any art earlier than this like sketches or anything I don't really do that when it comes to drawing characters a lot of the time I just go right in. (also the most recent for comparison)

But yeah I totally fell in love with the character after that! I was instantly keen on doing a story with him though with who or what was debatable. Initially he had literally nobody to interact with, I was already openly objectum at this point so the earliest drawings of him show him interacting with computers.

My bestie Marty tho @bytevamp did a character trade with me and I asked if he could design me a character to interact with Tandy, all I specified was a computer robot that wasn't too close in model as Tandy and he made me Sierra :) his design alongside my first drawing of her:

this was the first drawing of Tandy and Sierra interacting. Tandy doesn't act this meekly in the current story and Sierra is a lot nicer than this to Tandy initially.

and after that I had a third robot that I still haven't found a proper place in my story/introduced him properly. His name is just "Tinbot" and he was meant to be a robot Sierra and Tandy help get back on its feet. I might have plans in the future for him but in the meantime he's on the backburner. (side note wtf is Tandy wearing)

I'd be here all day if I were to say all the robots vs their initial designs. I usually have other people design my robot characters though (sometimes in exchange for robot characters I designed) in the story the robots are built by different people so having a mix of people design them would better give that impression in my mind. My robot characters I design personally usually come from me scribbling ideas on a procreate canvas, saving them for later and if I can't stop thinking about that one robot I drew I'll fully design them, Lithium's first drawing was in the corner of one of these random sketches, something about his lack of fingers and him telling someone to KYS really spoke to me.

3. Speaking of Lithium... I had a few ideas rattling in my brain for how they met, It was either through Cathy, through Max or Lithium met Sonnet while she was working and went OO TINY ROBOT.

As for whether Sonnet realises Lithium is a bit of a dipshit, she's fully aware of his behaviour as much as anyone else is but prefers to view him through his more positive traits. Lithium isn't irredeemable or anything, Tandy just really really hates him

4. Fashion with robots is funny, the tails don't really come into play as much since they usually just stick them over their waistband or cut a hole in their pants since their cables aren't super big. I will say one thing that I don't think I've said before is that robots can actually remove their cable tails and stick them back on when they need to charge or whatever. But if you had the option to have a tail I think most people would say yes, and robots decide that as well. Phillip and Newton decide to do this a lot, Phillip is almost never seen with his tail and Newton takes it on n off or just sticks it in his pants where it doesn't stick out since its shorter. As for colour choice robots don't have any distinct reason to choose the colours they do? Some might prefer high contrast clothing or lighter coloured clothing if their eyesight is better suited for clothes like that.

[im-1hater]

Me after being gone for months: hey…how y’all doing….

Anyways I’m finally out of school so now I have the time and energy to feel like posting :3

And Ig the best way is threw 3 years difference in my art !

This is the original photo (very crappy Ik)

My first attempt…. It’s something. I think this was one of the few I didn’t trace ( when I was first starting out and didn’t post anything ofc) so I think this might’ve been my first time free handing it with just the reference photo. I do remember being proud of how I did the water effect after watching a TikTok teaching me how to do it with on of the brushes 😭. This was on my first tablet so I don’t remember the exact time but it was about 3-4 hours on a random day in May in 2021 4/10 I remember showing this to my mom being very proud.

Oh boy…I can’t tell if this one or the one before is better. Well for one her head is HUGE like bigger than her ass big 😭🙏🏽. Speaking of her ass, I do not know why it looks like her buttcheek is dislocated? Like I think I tried make it look like her swim suit was tight on her body but it looks like her bottoms are 3 sizes too small. her hand and water got way worse too.. But I will say I definitely have a lot more shading and added more detail to the hair. The shading is decent albeit a bit boring but good enough. I also added color to the line art which is a nice touch. Could use some lighting besides the one coming from the sky. Also on my first tablet so I think this one was about 6 hours on a random the in May in 2022. 3/10 showed this to both my mom AND older brother 💀

Erm- I think I skipped a year or two? Either I got the years wrong or smth so I’ll need to get my hands on my old tablet lol. First, the water. I actually drew it instead of using the brushes in procreate which was definitely a better choice and payed off in the long run. And the sky is actually not just one solid bright blue that burns ur eye holes! And the clouds actually look like clouds and just not like cotton balls the same size. And it looks like I also figured out the different modes and effects I can use on the sky and water. I’m actually really proud of the background cause I literally never do a background. Also Momo brought the right size swimsuit this time! I drew the whole body instead of drawing the body as well as the clothes at the same time. I stylized my shading a lot more with the textured brushes I used. Also those knots she uses to keep her swimsuit look 100 percent better. And i used some line weight to make it way less boring than before. I put her head in a way more interesting angle. I also like how I went to one eyelash to many eyelashes to 0 of them💀. Also that hand! So much better and much more detail. Hands have become one of my favorite things to draw tehee. I fell like this is all over the place but I added some reflective lights from the water which was definitely a good choice and something missing in my previous works. I also gave her a more happy/ playful expression rather than that confused one I kept giving her. Like she doesn’t know how she freaking got there. Now one think I improved the most was….THAT HAIR! I decided “hmm, how about i actually try and put effort to the hair” and then it turned out pretty good at least I think. I added some lighting but not too much cause there is already so much. This took about 11 hours which is pretty impressive since I did this in two separate sittings. I showed this to my sister and she asked why she was a mustache cause of that line I drew coming from her nose and I can’t unsee it now 😭 11/10

[me-when-cancer]

ARTFIGHT RECAP

this was my first year of joining artfight! It's been a whole lot of fun, and I made 39 attacks. Oh boy. My goal was at least one attack per day, and wow I have never been so productive.

Also, making sure, don't call me out on stealing art. If you look on my artfight page you can see these actually belong to me, my artstyle is just all over the place and can't decide what it wants to be.

《ATTACK ON STRANDEDAYLILY》

This one was started on the first day, finished on the second. I'm really proud of how it turned out, and the design is so adorable!

(The rest of the attacks under the cut)

《ATTACK ON CIOROR》

The first of many lineless art attacks. I had the idea of the scug just hugging onto it's tail, and I got to work immediately. I wanted to emulate Cior's artstyle a tad, but make it a little more round. It looks so adorable.

《ATTACK ON VESRIMM》

This silly goober. Same thing as the previous one, it's the first of many stickers, and I got to work after getting the idea. Yes, she may craft nuclear warheads :>

《ATTACK ON AWADEKOKO》

I drew this character right after it was posted. I am speed. You are not safe :>

Also sky moment.

《ATTACK ON PESSIMYSTIC》

The design nearly killed me. I love how it looks though! Shoutout to Cioror for giving me the idea to make the background an aurora after one of their attacks.

《ATTACK ON OPSIIAN》

This silly goober. They were quite fun to draw! They look like they might be vibrating. Desire porl.

《ATTACK ON SHINYZEBAT》

The colors, the design, everything about this scug is so beautiful, and I love them. The lil wing ears :D

《ATTACK ON D0RKY》

Indeed. Tis a dork. Quite a creature. I love the design.

《ATTACK ON VESRIMM》

Woag. First time rendering. Looking at it again, I kinda like it. Hollow Knight for the win.

《ATTACK ON ENTER-THUNDERZONE》

VOX!1!!!!11

Such a goober. I really enjoy drawing in this artstyle. Initially it was meant to be an imitation of Cioror's artstyle, but I noticed that Thunder's vector artstyle (they're on scratch) is very similar. So it could be an emulation of both you guys.

《ATTACK ON POLINAKOTLIKESTHEV》

https://artfight.net/attack/7257849.get-jarred

Only sharing the artfight page because when people put characters in jars in movies and other works of media, no one bats an eye. But when someone posts an art of a character in a jar, the internet goes wild. And it annoys me. I don't want to hear anything about it. This artpiece was not meant to reference the thing that literally happened years ago. That aside, the goober. Nuggy's design is adorable, and this was quite fun to draw!

《ATTACK ON MANY-FACED》

sorry it looks a little odd. I rushed this because one, I wanted to fill my daily attack quota, and two, I wanted to attack eepy.

《ATTACK ON FLIGHTDRAWZ》

CHUGJUG! The second I saw him on artfight, I knew I had to draw him. Chugjug is so goober.

《ATTACK ON SKULKIE》

What an adorable fella. This was my first time drawing a seal, and I love it. Little guy.

《ATTACK ON STARRYWARRY》

You accept gore, you like character interactions, so here ya go! I with I made Cinnamon's outline black, but welp. Too late for that now. This one was incredibly fun to draw. Something oddly coincidental is that I was watching to markiplier play cuphead while drawing this.

《ATTACK ON DINGS》

They've got six limbs. Creature. What a fun guy. His design is so interesting, I like him a lot.

《ATTACK ON WORMZEE》

I love this lil scug's design. Very colors. This took surprisingly longer than I thought, but I'm proud of the result!

《ATTACK ON THENYAN》

Ooog the colors are really nice. This was really fun. I love drawing overseers just so incredibly done with their respective iterator.

《ATTACK ON ARCHIEDRAGON》

RAAAAHHHH THIS GUY IS SO ADORABLE I LOVE HIMMMM. Also hey the one time I don't forget an iterator's halo. Their eyes though. So freaking adorable. I feel like iterators designed with mouths don't look right without the mouth. It adds to them anyway, he's so cute.

《MASS ATTACK》

WIRE HUG. WIRE HUG. WIRE HUG.

《ATTACK ON KETRALINE》

Silly guy moment. The design is so unique and awesome. Reminds me of notebook paper.

《ATTACK ON MAMABOY》

The silly! Loved drawing Shi. I've been watching all the animations since I got into Rain World. I meant to draw Polaroids too, but sadly I never got to him in time.

《ATTACK ON XXRUBYDA_ALIENXX》

I bookmarked this character the second I saw them. The design is awesome and gives me some sort of vibe that I can't place. I went for a purple sunset vibe on this one, and I love it a lot!

《ATTACK ON THATDEERLING》

I love this guy. Is so cute. They give me teddy bear vibes. So friend shaped.

《ATTACK ON XXRUBYDA_ALIENXX》

Attacked again because the Revenge they did on Wire was to perfect to not be rewarded. This character gives koifish I love them.

《ATTACK ON CHEESYART666》

Only giving the link because the flashing colors is so rapid and jarring that it hurts even my eyes. And I'm not photosensitive. Be warned, the creature will bleed your eyes. Love the Venus fly trap guy. He looks so cool.

《ATTACK ON CROWPANACEA》

Tried out a new lighting style, (because revolvious uses it) and it turned out awesome! So now I'm using it for future arts. I'm really proud of this one. The background looks neat and the character is awesome.

《ATTACK ON PINKGOLDFISH651》

Love this goober! Went for a cybernetic green atmosphere. I love the lighting in this one.

《ATTACK ON TAPEDECKS》

Theyre real! The colors used in this design are awesome, I love it so much. Looks up at you with those eyes. Little goober.

《ANIMATED MASS ATTACK》

https://youtu.be/16iiAGH6Z4Q?si=Gm_cDngHw6_eNaf0

Eheheh. This one didn't take as long as I thought it would. I saw this meme and decided to do a slugcat mass attack. Don't mind the scav.

《ATTACK ON HINDRANCE77》

Woah this is cool. The art and the character. Silly creature, I love them a lot.

《ATTACK ON RAVENMA》

Woah noiseless goober. The ear isn't as long as I would've liked it to be, but overall it looks great. I drew this while playing Kirby's Air ride.

《ATTACK ON ALATYSS》

This is the first character I put in my bookmarks. (Last year) Their design is so cool, and the artstyle i used was perfect for drawing them.

Welp, looks like I hit an image limit. Looks like I'll have to make a continuation.

People I attacked (on this post (and that i could find)): @strandedaylily @frozenhi-chews @loonaticforaza @sleepless-tea @crowpanacea @vesrimm @wogot3 @cioror @iipessimystic @hdra77 @darkopsiian @thenyandrawsnstuff

[dgdraws]

My art year in review!

I learned so much this year and made a ton of cool stuff! These are my favorites from each month, but it was so hard to choose. A lot of stuff didn't even get posted--I'll be sure to at least post the ones that made it to this list!

It's amazing to see how much I've changed and learned over this year, and to see the things that are emerging as part of "my style."

Here's to another year of delight, creation, connection and fun!

Some monthly reflections beneath the cut, but here's the highlights:

I participated in 3 art challenges, Artfight, OC-tober and Huevember.

I made fanart for the first time!

I created a piece I conceived of before I started drawing

Made some big breakthroughs in techniques and skills in April, July and November

January: My first branch into full character design, Rodd is the culmination of training on Hero Forge renders to make dnd portraits! I was doing this cool thing with neon rim lighting, I should bring that back!

February: I saw a piece on here with this amazing glowing effect, so I color picked it and experimented to figure out what relationship between the colors was making it do that! The answer was saturation. This rose is meant to be glowing from within, and I think I did a good job for my knowledge level at the time! As Chuck Tingle would tell us, it's beautiful because only I could have made it in that moment on the timeline.

March: I spent a million years on every detail of this one, it has at least 5 clipping overlay/saturation layers for lighting, multiple line work groups and I want to rework that background but! I never felt more accomplished than I did when I finished this one. I learned a lot, especially about things I could skip or simplify. And the symbolism really pops off ngl

April: I read Gideon the Ninth for the first time this month and I immediately needed to draw Jeannemary Chatur, Cavalier of the Fourth House, the worst teen to do it. She's the first fanart I ever made and posted! I also discovered a new pen tool with this one, which CHANGED THE GAME.

May: This one is an idea I had written down before I ever picked up the tablet and stylus. I thought I might commission someone to make it, the image of it came to me so clearly during our VTM session I just had to make it real somehow. Well I did it! This is one I will come back to redraw in like 5 years bc I love the concept so much. Also rife with symbolism and inside nods to the Low Kings.

June: I made a bunch of ref sheets in the run-up to Artfight in July. Caleb hadn't even been in my plans to upload, but I had time and inspiration! I will be uploading this and a few more of him <3

July: This is one of my faves from Artfight! This character is Blueberry, by way of OrchidEatsBread on artfight. I have still never played... rainworld? But I love me a slug cat. In July I drew a TON of people, it really drilled anatomy basics into me and how to get clothes looking like actual clothes a bit more. Also solidified some things I would consider "my style" at the moment, like no irises, and my approach to noses and mouths and fingers!

August: Another fanart for the Locked Tomb series, I never posted this!!! Will be rectifying that soon.

September: I got really into javascript and css this month, and I made this to be a landing page image on my neocities website XD I'll get back around to that eventually...

October: At the last minute, I discovered OC-tober and the prompts from @/bweirdart, a worthy follow up to the rush of Artfight two months previous. I developed so much stuff for the Low Kings, including this drawing/character, Amayah/Girl-Z, who has been a figment of my pintrest board for 2+ years.

Huevember: Chasing that OC-tober high, I found Huevember! I did not expect to actually do every day, but it proved to be an amazing exercise! I learned so, so much about color, discovered amazing new brushes and techniques and found I really enjoy working in those one day capsules! I loved a lot of the stuff that came out of this month, including my highest note post ever!!!, but this one is still my phone background and I'm maybe developing an OC world around it. We'll see what happens in 2024.

December: I got hit HARD with the writing bug this month, so this was my only choice for this month but I WOULDA CHOSEN IT ANYWAY. I unlocked something here that I'm really excited to visit again, in fact I'm working on a companion piece rn! This is also fanart btw, prepare for me to get even weirder about this guy in the coming months.

If you've read this far, thank you so much! I have so much fun writing these little reflections and making my posts on here.

xoxo, wren

[sugar-phoenix]

Why I'm not scared of AI

So, with the advent of AI, and how people are using AI generated images, drawings, and writing, I've seen a lot of people terrified that they'll lose their jobs. That these robots will perform better than they ever could, that these robots will basically render human creativity useless.

Let me give a little exposition: Even before AI, I was never content with stealing images from the internet for my own uses.

When I became skilled enough, I drew my own profile pictures, my own wallpapers, my backgrounds, my book covers, etc. Only recently, for religious reasons, I stopped drawing humans and animals and therefore I've used images from Pinterest sparingly. It's still never as satisfying. There are ideas within my head that you cannot find anywhere. You may find close to them, but it will never truly be them.

Enter AI. The magical software that could give you whatever you wanted. At first, with AI art, I did generate some, when it was much early on, before I had learned that it scraped others' arts. It was clunky, and limited, and sure, it was early on, so of course it didn't give me what I wanted.

I tried it again much later. When I had some idea that it scraped other people's arts, I tested the waters. Surely, out of all the art that it scraped, it could make the idea in my head. I never meant to use the image or generator for malicious reasons, I wanted to see if it could truly transcend human art.

The prompt was simple: I wanted it to draw me a drawing of a boy with white hair, blue eyes, and crescent moon marks at the corners of his eyes. Anyone with any skill could draw this.

Nothing. I kept rewording my prompts. It would give me boys, it would give me boys with blue skin, dark hair, light hair, blue eyes, white eyes, but never a crescent moon mark anywhere on their face. It simply had no idea what I meant when I wrote that in my prompt. For all the seemingly high quality art it gave me, the magical anime styles, the digital painted styles, it was even worse than a child. Because I could ask a child to draw me that prompt, and they would try to give me exactly what I wanted. Even if the shapes were wonky, even if the moons were half moons rather than crescent moons, at least the child would know what I wanted, would give me something within their ability that covered all the elements I wanted.

Now, let's switch around to text-based AI. When I first discovered character.ai I thought it was mesmerizing. I was addicted to talking to a fictional character. But soon enough, I found myself choosing the character's answers to my roleplays. I would flip through ten, fifteen answers, and I would always be settling. Never truly happy. The ai was smart, I'll give it that. It would remember things from previous prompts or answers. But it couldn't give me a new piece of writing it hadn't seen before. It couldn't make up a new reaction to what I had given it. Sometimes it surprised me, but it usually gave me regular, repeated, cliché reactions. Like as if I was roleplaying with a fourteen year old who had just started roleplaying, but I'll say it was even worse than that.

After a while, I realized that writing a fanfiction with a self insert would be better and more efficient than playing with character.ai.

Now, what do I mean to say by all this?

Technology is limited by what it knows. Perhaps we think that it isn't, because as humans we take in other people's stuff all the time. We see others' arts, others' writings, and we write/draw stuff based off of those all the time. Sometimes you'll find yourself writing or drawing something someone else has already. We all know this by now: there are no more "original" plots. Everything you write has probably been written already, or very close to it. I'm not sure the same can be said for art but as an artist you would find yourself drawing with a color palette someone else has already used, you'd be drawing creatures with aspects from nature or from someone else's fictional characters.

But the thing is. Out of those things, you can make something new. You can make something unique. I'm writing a story where I twisted Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel together, where Daciana is Rapunzel and the Wolf simultaneously, where Rhydian is the Prince and the Huntsman simultaneously. If I fed AI Red Riding Hood, and Rapunzel, and fed it several thousand YA fantasy books, then told it to write me a twist between Rapunzel and Red Riding Hood, I don't think it could give me my plot. I don't care if we wait 50 years, or 100 years. It would give you some cliche, some copy of a YA fantasy book but replace some of the characters with Red Riding Hood or Rapunzel. But you don't get Daciana's wolf-hair shifting magic. You don't get how Rhydian's kingdom has a history with the Wolves that live in the deep forest. Why? If we asked the computer, it would simply say: "I haven't seen that yet. I didn't know you could do that."

It doesn't think outside the box.

That's what makes it different. It can never think outside the box. No matter how lifelike it feels, no matter how you think that the computer is on the verge of becoming human, it's only mimicking what we do. It only works with what it knows, it can't try something new. It can't experiment.

Humans can.

In fact, you need a human to train the machine. You actually need human eyes, human content, to feed into the machine. There is a human driving the machine to give more accurate outputs. Without a human training the machine, it would never be what it is now. The computer needs the human.

And so I think that text-based AI, and image-based AI will only, in the future, do the same work as what we know as "cheap labor." People who don't want to pay, yet sacrifice originality for not paying. Less-than-amateur work. I think that big companies, people who actually want quality work, unique work, work that makes them stand out from the crowd, whether that be an illustration for an advertisement, a logo, a website design, an app design, they'll hire a human being who can think outside the box. This is what a lot of companies want anyway, at least companies who are worth their salt. They want someone who can think, who can make something without being spoon-fed a bunch of information.

Anyone who is afraid of AI art/text, I highly recommend you go ahead and generate something. Just test it. Try getting it to generate something you want to draw. Generate something you want to write. I spent thirty minutes the other day, desperately trying to have it generate a story idea. Try getting AI to generate exactly the image in your mind, exactly the vibe of the story you want. Try that out, see how far that gets you. Know that whenever someone says "I don't need you, I can just use AI instead" that this is what they're getting. They're working with the equivalent of a child who has never been taught to think for themselves, instead only copying and mimicking things they've already seen. Perhaps combining what they've mimicked, but never in creative new ways, only in ways they've been taught to do so. The computer can never transcend what it's been taught. It always works within the rules it's given, even if it gives you something new, like a calculator calculating the output of a new formula you haven't seen before.

New technology has always scared human beings, because you're experimenting with something you don't quite understand the limits of. People buy into technology they don't full understand either. It's times like these where it's imperative to understand the limits of what you're looking at, and imperative to let things settle before making any judgements yet.

I understand that there's been a lot of changes and things are in the air. Artists/writers are getting fired because their companies think AI can do the job better, people are getting their artwork stolen. There's a lot of problems at the moment, but ultimately, I think that AI will never replace true human creativity. And that's something to hold on to in the midst of all this uncertainty.

[whoiskt]

Evolution of my art. Made this for myself because I wanted to see my own progress but I accidentally just made myself sad with how much of my art I've lost and the years when I hardly drew anything.

2011- One of my first digital art pieces. Redraw of a photo I found on Google. Eyebrow and mouth are immediately off-portion, but as a fully colored piece I think it is pretty good for a beginner. It was really small tho, I didn't understand resolutions yet!

2012- Homestuck phase. A year full of art to choose from, this was one of the last drawings I made that year, and honestly I still think it looks really good. The way I drew eyes back then was totally different.

2013- Supernatural phase. I was doodling a lot on homework and notebooks, but actual finished pieces are hard to find now. I've lost sketchbooks from this era. Perhaps even burned them, haha. This was done on whiteboard.

2014- This self-portrait was my magnum opus at the time, done for art class. There was a level of detailing textures here that I'd never care to revisit and this piece easily could have taken me 50 hours or more to complete. The nose/mouth feels so off to me, now, although I clearly broke my bad habit of drawing small pointed chins with this one. Each year I look at it hanging in my parent's house it makes me cringe more. Charcoal.

2015- Mostly MIA. I have some pen drawings from this time but I thought they were skippable and I only had room for 10 years here. I went to film school so I was focused on that creatively.

2016- Got into watercolor this year. Wasn't done on watercolor paper so it warped a lot. I don't really mind. End of my vanity era. I was in an art class, animation class, and character design class this year. Maybe got a little burnt out on art.

2017- Height of my pen drawing obsession, although most of the drawings I did were at work, and were hung up at work, and may still be there even though I am long gone now? Sorry about the weird crop it was a horizontal piece.

2018- Yes, similar to the previous year, but I see improvement in pen technique. I rarely took time to just sit down and draw other than in-class doodles.

2019- Wedding gift for my sister of her and her husband (although I cropped her out lol). Large watercolor piece where I was rushed and had to finish the background as an abstract fall leaves. I'm still on the fence about it overall.

2020- My digital art renaissance. This was the year I started to really realize I was utterly incompetent at backgrounds.

2021- I was really focused on photography this year, although I did do some sketching here and there. My laptop became mostly unusable for digital rendering so that cut down on my motivation.

2022- I discovered watercolor brushes, my beloved. I closed the door on many of my other creative outlets which seemed to bring back my love, passion, and motivation for drawing again.

Hopefully I can share a 2023 piece with you soon to show my improvements 🤗 I've been sketching a lot like I did back when I was 13 and it feels good!

[foxssonicdoodles]

my art summary for this year! first time I’ve ever done one of these, and holy shit the improvement is a crazy looking at it like this

(more yapping (fucking. ESSAY) under the cut)

man. it’s been over a year since the sonic brainworms got me (started October of last year with the snapcube fandubs -> snapcube frontiers playthrough -> listening to the frontiers ost and falling in love with it) and. Man has it been fun!! I’ve found so much good new music, art, artists, writers, stories, etc., and becoming a fan right when all kinds of stuff was lined up for the year probably helped too.

I do think taking the plunge and trying to draw sonic characters has aided my love for the series too, since in previous fandoms I’ve been in I would be excited about them, but being able to create for it brings a whole new level to my enjoyment I think. and, of course, this brought me to making my OCs, my most beloved little guys who I’ve grown very attached to over the course of the year.

now, not to yap too much, but, about the art I chose for the summary!

January and February were actually kind of hard to pick for, since my program (sketchbook) doesn’t include dates for when you create a new drawing, so I mostly relied on dates in discord servers and on tumblr for when I posted things. Technically the January drawing was made in December of last year (bc I genuinely don’t remember what I drew in January), and the February one I can’t be sure when it was made, since it was never posted anywhere. I mostly just estimated, and ohhh god looking through my old art was an experience. seeing how I used to draw shadow was interesting (I used to give him what I referred to as ‘prime eyes’, or, the eyes on his sonic prime model, rather than his game model). I guess I had seen more sonic prime clips/screenshots then game ones, and that worked its way into how I drew shadow. I do still kinda like the drawing though, I still think it kinda holds up. Maybe I redraw it sometime. I don’t have much to say about the blaze doodle though, I think I’m just proud of myself for trying with the hands (as flat as they look).

march! That one was drawn for a friend, who I had gotten into the snapcube fandubs, of one of my favorite moments in the shadow ‘05 dub. I added more to it here, but this was the original, and again, it’s certainly not bad! For most of this year, when I drew, I hardly used references, but this was one of the times I did, and I certainly worked in my favor (you can tell I was too lazy to do the emeralds though).

April’s piece comes from a doodle page I did where I doodled while referencing screenshots from the unleashed opening cutscene (UNLEASHED OPENING MY BELOVED <3 <3) and that was my favorite of the poses I guess, so I added to it and made that little drawing! I vaguely tried at a background, but it doesn’t look like much.

while I still see lots of problems with May’s piece, it’s not bad. Perhaps even a step in the right direction /j. I found I showcase of a blender model and instantly downloaded blender and the model to play with it, and I took some screenshots of some of the poses I made and used one as a reference for this drawing. Proportions could definitely be better, as well as some small perspective things I notice now, but hey! I lined, colored, and shaded something, which isn’t something I do often, even now, despite what the last half of the year might make you believe.

Speaking of which, June’s piece is the only one of the refs I made for artfight this year of my OCs and fankids that I think still holds up! It’s not great, at least by my standards now, but the best of the bunch for sure. I rushed to make these late in June before artfight started, and while I had more OCs lined up (early concepts of characters like hooke, joule, and peten) I only had time for four (team Starfall + axel). Borealis has since gotten a cleaner redesign, but I don’t mind his old design either.

Then comes July, the month of artfight itself! out of the attacks I made, I figure the piece I made of emthimofnight’s stellar was the best of the bunch. I looked for refs of ice skaters to find a base to create this specific pose, and while the perspectives are okay, I like how I did the shoes the most. Normally shoes are tough for me, especially perspective-wise, so I’m glad with how I did here. Actually looking back at this piece is reminding me of my thick lineart era, in which I much preferred using thick lineart and couldn’t possibly see myself doing thin lineart (though my comparison in my head was mostly like. Anime-thin lineart so uh. Yeah). I’ve slowly gotten to do thinner lineart over time, but not crazy thin, and you can even see later in the year, with the art trades that I went back to thick lineart, just a little bit differently than before.

I drew a lot in august, perhaps some of the most I’ve drawn this year aside from in November (most of it hasn’t been posted online tho, only in discord servers). and I made much nicer stuff in November too, but I specifically chose this doodle because of what it means for my journey. This doodle was a pivotal point, in which I tried something new and fucking loved it. I loved the sketchy style, the rectangular eyes, the minimal outline on the muzzle. Idk why, it just stood out to me and I’ve been drawing sonic characters like that since.

Going into September, school started, so I had a lot less time to draw, but it’s been more towards the last couple of months where I’ve gotten really invested in my OCs and their stories, so I drew them a lot around this time. at one point, I drew this doodle of axel (which I actually can’t remember if I drew it that month or not, I think I might have though??), and looked at him for a moment. and around this same time I had been looking at the idw art book, and been reminded of surge’s concept designs, one of which had a similar quill style to axel, and a stripe running down the face. which got me thinking, “how would axel look with a stripe?” So i quickly made a couple of versions, and consulted one of the discord servers im in about it. Eventually it got down to a version with yellow stripes (my personal favorite) and one with blue stripes. Both looked good, but one person suggested using both, and either the same person or someone else suggested a fade, and so I made a couple versions of the fade using this same drawing as my base, and eventually found the one I liked, which is his current design. To date, I think this is one of my favorite drawings I’ve done of axel, idk why. It’s not the most polished, but I love it, that’s literally my guy right there. yknow?

October! octobers piece is an art trade I did with st4rrzyy (just never posted it) of their character Hannah the bat! it’s not the only art trade I did that month, but I think it’s my favorite of the two. I chose to make the cloak all flowy, and give the character a dynamic pose, which isn’t something I do often. I actually referenced some sonic channel art for this specific pose, one of cream! It’s nothing too crazy overall, but there were definitely some new things for me, especially in that I got the courage to show interest in an art trade, and did something fully finished.

November piece, November piece I love you (I have not posted it). This was from an art trade i did with m3tr0n0m333, of their character Charr the hedgehog! This time around, I opened art trades in one of the discord servers I’m in, since I was on break for thanksgiving, and want even sure I’d get any interest tbh, since I’m not a big artist whose stuff is amazing or smth. But! Talking about the art itself, I referenced another sonic channel art piece, the January calendar illustration of shadow and infinite as singers, and yoinked shadow’s pose to give to charr, I felt like it fit well with them. Once my sketch was done, I stopped for a moment, and wasn’t sure how I would do my lineart, before deciding fuck it we ball and trying out something new. And I ended up loving it. It feels like I’ve gone full circle, coming back to do thick lineart, just this time it was with a different brush instead of my usual pencil, and I loooove how it looks. I also went ahead and colored in some of the lineart too, not with the most rhyme or reason at first, but eventually following my lighting/shading, putting harsh white highlights in places I lit up, and using the same color of a given area on a hard light clipping layer in some shadowed parts. Definitely my best artwork of the year, for sure.

and then for December (which also hasn’t been posted), I don’t actually have much to say about, it’s very similar to November’s piece. I opened up art trades and traded with someone in one of the discord servers I’m in (I don’t know if they’re one tumblr so I don’t know their user/the character’s name, sorry). I referenced a screenshot I had saved of blaze from one of the Winter Olympics games, and decided I wanted to go the same route as the November piece for the lineart. There is one new thing, though, that I implemented. I tried something new with the inhibitors, as I haven’t really been the best with making things look shiny up until I did some doodles of shade and tried with with just a pencil, and really liked the results and decided to give it a go here. It’s a step in the right direction, I think, but there’s absolutely more work that could be done to improve this skill.

Oh god that was more rambling than I thought I’d do. shit. uhhhhh if somehow you’ve spent time reading all of this thank you! thank you for listening to my wild ramblings, I uh. I like yapping about how I make things. Happy new year, and here’s to hoping next year goes well!

[beeseo-portfolio]

This was my first board of my NCEA Level 1 Visual Art portfolio in 2021. The theme given to us was Food and Consumerism, in which half of the school year was spent on painting this board. Because it was only the first year of NCEA there were many restrictions on how we could present our ideas (the theme was not of our choosing and the sizes of each work was predetermined by my art teachers). However, some of what we could paint with these restrictions was up to us.

The first board was more focused on experimentation and showcasing different styles and techniques used in art. The first series of 4 works in the top left corner focused on 4 different mediums: pencil, charcoal, staining coffee on paper then drawing over it, and ink. It was my first time using charcoal, drawing over stained paper and ink, so it was interesting to see how the different mediums worked and interacted with the paper.

The second series was an A4 piece experimenting with colour composition, where one subject was in greyscale and a small square was in colour with a different subject matter in it. I intentionally chose a pizza and a fig, as the interior of a fig is detailed much like the toppings of the pizza, so I thought that there could be some continuity of detail even though the subject matters were different. This was when my personal 'sub-theme' of healthy food and unheatlhy food came into play (with the unhealthy food being the pizza and the healthy food being the fig), which was still in the same vein of food and consumerism.

The work on the middle right was an exploration of the art movement Vanitas. The Vanitas art movement represented the morality of life through decaying food, skull imagery and dark backgrounds. Dark backgrounds brought in negative space to emphasize the foreground. I drew inspiration from this a large amount in some of my works after that to introduce stronger themes into my next artworks rather than creating art for the sake of schoolwork.

The last two pieces of the first board consisted of two different people: one being a self portrait if me eating a healthy packed Korean lunch of Bulgogi with rice, and the other, being someone else, eating a sugary snack painted on a snack box packaging. Initially, the two works were just showing the distinct difference between the healthy and unhealthy, but that develops more in my second board.

My second board of my Level 1 NCEA Visual art Portfolio was less on experimentation because I was told to, and more of experimentation with my style and ideas. The final series with the last two works showcase how diet culture is viewed in different ages. The first of the final two works explores how a child's wants for a lot of sweet food is looked over as just "cute". The child reaches upwards for the food where they are being dangled on by a string, as if controlled by a puppeteer, that gives the child these sweets, which the adult liberally gives the child. Because the child is just seen as full of wonder, the consequences are overlooked as the snake in the image creeps in its cunning head, representing the growing greed that has yet to flourish. Techniques of Vanitas are used with a dark background to emphasise the child sitting on a cake, sitting on a plate. The grey coloured clothing represents the blank slate that a child is as they are exposed to the world around them, absorbing what they can to experience the world.

The final piece is the last of the series where it showcases many eyes looking down at the now grown-up person eating an apple. Where the eyes in the previous work were looking up with wonder, the eyes in the background look down at the person with the weight of expectations and judgement down onto the person. The nose in the dark orange circle is to represent "being nosy" about how someone else eats. All signs of sweet foods are gone and are replaced with nothing but fruits. The person's clothing is replaced with red, representing the anger they have towards the judgmental eyes that stare down at them, taking away any freedom the person might have had. The eyes of the person that were once so childlike and full of curiosity are now replaced with dull eyes that stare straight through the camera. The food the person eats is healthy but at the cost of the loss of joy from the pressures of society's judgement.

Growing up, I have had an interesting relationship with food: I grew up being picking only healthy food from the fear of people thinking that I was unhealthy. I chose to eat healthy foods though that did not necessarily make me happy. Me constantly choosing to eat healthy foods over unhealthy sugary ones was mainly because I was terrified of disappointing people around me, especially my parents. Having grown up learning what was expected of me in terms of diet, I was terrified of going against it. This did not apply to just food-- at the time academics in school were all I could think about and with high academic achievement came high expectations, which creates academic validation and an intense fear of rejection. Staying on the path dictated by others meant that I was within the bounds of others' comfort at the cost of my own. Level 1 NCEA Visual Art was a way for me to project my fears of failing academic schooling as well as my relationship with food through visual art.

I chose my Level 1 NCEA Visual Art board as a starting point of my portfolio as this was when I started to break out of my shell of following orders from people to a T and experimenting with my own style and how I can use them to present my ideas to project my thoughts and feelings about food.

All the painted pieces are acrylic.

[ijfmpy2]

Final Evaluation

When deciding what direction I wanted to go down for this project, I reflected a lot on my past work to figure out what I enjoyed the most and what challenged my abilities. This is why I chose to focus on pixel art and animation as it is what I am the most confident in. The process of choosing characters to draw involved looking into historical portrayals that have been preserved of Greek myth such as articles describing ancient drawings and sculptures. Alongside this, I made sure to gain contextual knowledge into the myths such as societal expectations at the time and lifestyle.

I had my heart set on doing something with characters in mythology as it is an interest of mine, so I took time to work out what would be realistic within the time. At first I had planned to make a game with basic code set up to showcase my characters in a visual novel style, but I learnt from feedback from peers and my own research into concept art that it would look more effective displayed differently. At first I put my animations in character design sheets but then reflected again and recognised i t would be better if the audience could interact so my final results changed twice.

My initial process for this project was researching media that related to and inspired my ideas like books, TV shows, films and a range of games so this was a big part of my approach. I conducted in depth research and a variety of sketches and mock ups before starting the characters I drew which helped to really visualise what I wanted to achieve. Looking into other 2D artists on Artstation and on Pinterest when finding references supported me to find a style, pixel density and colour palette that I liked.

I found myself feeling very confident when using Photoshop for this project, which was the sole software I utilised. This is because I have been learning and developing my abilities in it since I started this course so I have explored a range of techniques that I used repeatedly: the magic wand tool, layering colour with different opacities and utilising the timing of frames in the timeline for animations. I focussed my final results around animations as I enjoy bringing 2D art to life so I wanted to make sure that I presented them effectively and worked hard on this.

Having never drawn human characters before, my main struggle was with anatomical proportions and body ratios. To overcome this I got peers to continuously review my work and always had a reference board in eyeline. Having feedback to reflect on was very useful when I went back and reviewed the three of my characters as I felt like I improved the final results a lot. Something that I changed quite a few times to get right was the timing of the animations to make them flow. Each character has a different timing and amount of frames as I wanted specialised animations.

Scheduling at least a week to play around with the presentation for this project was a priority for me as I knew that the layout of work would be a part of this project I wanted to really focus on. Choosing to not display my characters in a game put pressure on me to create character design sheets to a professional standard which I hadn’t done before. Looking at industry level examples and reviewing my showcase of work with my lecturers and peers allowed me to think about how the audience would perceive my whole project and the accommodations I should include like the background, font and format.

As I have displayed my progress and final results of work in a presentation for each project in this course, I knew how to approach this final one. I made sure to look back on some of the previous ones I have done and review what looked good and bad. Additionally, looking into professional portfolios helped me to realise that it should be unique to my project to give it a personal touch. Adding videos, images and the most important research from my blog without overcrowding the slides is a necessity to communicate my ideas clearly and effectively to high quality.

I went into this project with a clear vision in mind to create character artwork to show off how far I have come in my 2D progress. Adding the challenge of animating them as well pushed me even further to get this all done in the project time frame. By constantly reflecting on these aims through being methodical in each step of creating a character and making feedback forms to get positive and negative reviews that I then reflected on, allowed me to really gain insight on how I can improve my art and abilities.

[roseispending]

No.9

Week 4 / Finding Online Courses

This week I have still been prioritising preparing for job interviews. My final interview is next week, so hopefully I can draw some more afterwards.

This week I was away from home for a few days so deciding to find some videos I could follow online. As I was looking into value and composition last week, I wanted to have another go at understanding some concepts and rules. I found 3 Rules for Better Composition by Artwod which was super interesting and helpful.

The video speaks about rules of thirds of fifths, visual weight, and shape contrast. I found these rules extremely interesting because it something that I have noticed in artworks, but not been able to verbalise or take onboard before. Below is my sketchbook page when studying this video. I drew out the examples and noted down pieces I found important.

At the end of the page, I applied these new rules to the previous image I had drawn from last week- the Steven Universe laundry background. I'm not sure if it is correct, however I'm taking the small win of applying my learning. I genuinely love that I did this.

"A selection of Backgrounds from the Steven Universe episode: Keeping It Together Art Direction: Jasmin Lai Design: Steven Sugar, Emily Walus, and Sam Bosma Paint: Amanda Winterstein and Ricky Cometa" -Steven Crewniverse

Looking forward to following some more videos this week as it's been really helpful in taking away my fear of not knowing where to start.