#i doubt anyones gonna think
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
someone needs to take a hammer to the back of my neck
#any volunteers#i have been drawing for 10 hours#i physically cant drop my chin to my chest without feeling like my neck & shoulder areas gonna explode jshdgfdhjsdhf#THE GOOD NEWS IS!!!!!!!!!!!!#ART!!!!!!!#i drew hannigram as an elk + wolf combo after their shared kill <3#but well#i doubt anyones gonna think#yeah this is about the cannibal show#when they see it#STILL#it features a bloody elk (hannibal) standing all proud with a bloody wolf (will) walking under him#and in the background is a questionably red smear in the snow#txt#.#im not very good at describing things#it was fun to draw either way<3#im just cleaning up the edits to see which hue/contrast i want#but ill probs post tmr anyway since no ones on#etcetc
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm begging you, BioWare... Learn from the mistakes of Baldur's Gates past...
#please accept this low effort meme while i work on Emmrich-inspired creative pursuits#hoping and praying and sobbing and crying#BioWare i'm on my hands and knees begging you to GIVE THE SWEET NECROMANCER A SOFT TUMMY#emmrich volkarin#dragon age emmrich#okay now im gonna start complaining in the tags so this is your warning#i just don't think im strong enough to withstand ANOTHER RPG with companions that Should Not Fucking Have Abs#like sure i could MAYBE suspend my disbelief that the vain wizard would use some illusion magic to give himself abs (still cringe)#or MAYBE he got really into crunches while he was depressed for a year (HIGHLY doubtful)#BUT THE EMACIATED VAMPIRE!?#like come on bestie#did cazador have some really rigorous workout routines that were conveniently never brought up???#im going insane sorry#i just have a lot of opinions on diverse body types in video games#and dont want them to do my man dirty like that#[insert joke about how getting down and dirty with him is my job]#okay sorry i think i got it all out of my system#if anyone actually read this far please know i love you with my entire serpentine heart
218 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
149 notes
·
View notes
Note
I’m thinking it’s more likely this was a legit attempt, but in comparison to the last attempt I think the evidence for it being staged is way stronger. It was on Trump’s own property aka a way more easily controlled environment, the guy was much further away than Crooks was and he never actually got any shots off so no one even got hurt, he survived long enough to be taken into police custody, and this is all happening less than a week after a very bad debate performance and an endorsement from a woman so influential we have the data to name an Effect after her. Like again I think it’s more likely a legit attempt but either way it’s still a nothing burger.
I mean, didn't Trump and Vance just tell us to "get over" gun violence and that it was a "fact of life" in between their busy schedule of inciting racist mobs on Springfield, Ohio?
Did something change between now and then when the MAGAs are suddenly so concerned with preventing white Republicans from having access to guns?
Weird.
#citizen-zero#ask#politics for ts#the giant orange monster#as i said#nobody cared about the last one where someone was demonstrably shooting at him#and i don't even feel the tiniest least bit sorry for him and frankly i doubt anyone else does either#if you incite white republicans to commit gun violence then you don't get to cry when it comes back on you#god i want this election to be over#i am fairly confident that kamala is gonna crush him#but i just want it over#i don't want to look at him or think about him or put up with his deranged kkk fanclub followers#jesus fucking christ just let it be over#please
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
question for my fellows from the americas and/or artists who have experience selling physical products. would you say 3$ is acceptable for overseas shipping fees on stickers? the stamps for ordinary post to the US/LATAM/CA area is 2.5€ at minimum (up to 5€ within the reasonable weight range for this sort of product). that would help cover the delivery on my end, but I can't tell if it would be worthwhile on yours
#it's about what the price of a single sticker would be but i doubt anyone overseas is gonna buy One sticker and that's it#I'm thinking 3''x3'' for size so they're not so small that you can't see the details but also not so big that applying them becomes a hassle#maybe do a full pack deal depending on how many designs i make
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
John Seed is a comfort character for some people. Folks like to ship him with their deputies or craft redemption arcs for him.
There's nothing wrong with that, obviously.
But I just can't wrap my head around it.
There's nothing comforting about the way John Seed treated Joey Hudson. I don't understand why the ordeal she went through doesn't seem to matter to fans of his.
She was bait for the rookie deputy and nothing more, because she wasn't going to give in and join the cult.
He terrorized Joey and the rest of Fall's End, stooping to the lowest, most inhumane levels to get his way. Some even theorize that he hurt the "sinners" in his care just because he wanted to, for malicious, sadistic reasons that didn't have anything to do with the cult. At worst, some people go as far as to speculate that he raped Joey.
It's easy to see why someone might come to that conclusion. The way he acts is deplorable and he makes everything feel extremely personal, sometimes in ways that can be interpreted as sexually charged. He'll do anything in order to get his way because "no" is antithetical to him. He regularly flies off the handle, so much so that Joseph is threatening to cast him out. All the touching and getting right up in the player's face is so uncomfortable and obsessive (which is the point, but I digress).
So why does he get to be redeemed and venerated by fans? Don't his actions warrant consequences?
Are people willing to let him off the hook because he's attractive? Because he had a horrible, abusive childhood? Obviously he's got a lot more lore than most of the cast. Is that something people are interested in exploring for him over other characters?
I'm not trying to come after anyone personally. There's nothing wrong with liking villains and Jacob, Faith, and Joseph have also done terrible things to innocent people.
Which is like, fine. It's a video game.
And I know that John, like Joey, is a victim of Ubisoft's choppy, inconsistent writing and storytelling. Things got changed and swapped and cut during development that got us to where we are, with the story we have. Flaws and all, not like it was ever going to be perfect.
But in my opinion, I feel like the adoration for John does a huge disservice to Joey. People make thirsty edits of him while she's literally tied up behind him. It's tasteless and makes the optics of her situation look even creepier.
Her pain has largely been ignored for as long as the game has existed. I can't for the life of me figure out why.
#i'm gonna save my extra personal interpretations for the notes#genuinely I'm not trying to come after anyone#I just can't wrap my head around it#same goes for Jacob but I feel like he at least has the capacity for some change#cause he has doubts about the cult and stuff#the jury is out on Faith and how much autonomy she really has#though I believe it's more than some people think#and Joseph well... some medication is in order at least#but John had all that money and not a single cent went to a therapist so he could sort out his issues#John never got proper help and he has some very fucked up interpretations of the events that happened to him#he is so stuck in his ways and regularly acts extremely selfishly#in canon that's even considered to be part of why he dies#he's too stubborn and selfish to change#would rather everyone experience the pain that he felt than accept what happened to him#he absolutely had the means to better himself and never did#and Joey and all the other innocent people in his bunker were hurt no matter how you slice it#which if we're talking about John#I guess that's no pun intended#far cry 5#john seed#joey hudson#deputy hudson#fandom opinions#rape mention
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
wishing you could keep me closer im a lazy dancer when you move i move with you
#magi#magi the labyrinth of magic#magi the kingdom of magic#sinbad no bouken#sinja#sinbad#jafar#ja'far#bro i highly doubt anyone out there still fw magi but im gonna keep drawing it anyway . if u do still like magi hi#thinking about them makes me so sad . WORST SITUATIONSHIP EVER!!!!!!!#also shoutout to collect call by metric an absolute bangerrr#myart
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
If SIkuna will get the Heian era form later, can he change his appearance? I mean, it will be weird to see a guy with four arms hanging in public.
Assuming he were to do that,
(who knows, not me (I do lol) , if the hypothetical timeline where he and Yuji get separated is gonna be Canon to the Series *HeeHee HoHo's mysteriously*)
yup!
His alternate, 'human' form would be strongly based off of Yuji still, but with some differences.
(I've kinda drawn that as well, but I can definitely imagine it not exactly being clearly explained lol)
For one, he's significantly taller than Yuji (at least for now, the kid is most likely gonna grow to be not as much shorter lol) - although he can be shorter.
He usually isn't much 'shorter', because it's more comfortable - any much lower and it'd feel a bit like a too-tight shirt, but for your whole body lol
('down' to 6~ft/182~cm (wherein he usually stays at 6.4-5ft/193-195~cm) is the min. of proper comfiness)
He also wears earrings (I usually imagined some simple black ones, but he could just as well wear something Hello Kitty related lol (both for the Meme and just because) or just cute, or more colourful), and his left eyebrow has two slits - to kinda connect him visually to his Big Form heh
(I'm kinda contemplating adding some other things but yeah that's the bigger things heh)
And, although usually he only has these whilst in the Bigg form, he can have four arms, stomach mouth, and such whilst 'small' as well - but yeah, that's not exactly something that'd be useful/possible to use in public 😂
As shown in Chapter 2 of Visuals (although it is a different timeline, SIkuna is SIkuna lol), he can sometimes forget to close his secondary eyes, especially at the beginning of the Separation or when kinda mentally tired - it's just much more natural for them to be open
Some random person is more likely to assume they imagined it or he just had good cosplay than actual four eyes though, so hey at least there's that saving him
Not to mention interference from the kids he's likely hanging out with lol, Nobara is a quick-thinking Queen when her older familial figure is being a dum-dum and forgoring 💀 how to Human properly and we love her for it 👏
Since I imagine her dragging SIkuna out for clothes shopping relatively often, perhaps with other kids as well - and SIkuna doesn't mind it at all, he loves actively participating in the kids' hobbies 🥺 - she probably had to cover for his spookiness and such quite often lmao, even if he tries his best 😂
He is very respectful and polite to any workers they might encounter during their shopping though (well, assuming they aren't being unreasonably rude themselves but that's rare, especially in Japan I'd imagine), so fortunately even despite his Vibes being Very Off the two (or more) usually end up being a nice surprise to them actually lmao
- the fact that SIkuna likely takes everything that isn't chosen back perfectly into place whilst waiting for Nobara/other kids to put another outfit on probably makes their spookiness easier to deal with as well 😂😂😂
(He's not 'spared' from dressing up, but he can lighten the load on the workers' shoulders a little bit while he waits his turn, you know - he might be partially old as hell and from a time where that would have been unheard of to do for the sake of 'servants', but he also is partially someone from the 2020's lmao, he gets the pain)
(Imagine crossovers with Canon whilst he's in this form though lol, I feel like one Quite painful Misunderstanding that could happen is that This Other Sukuna apparently completely took over an older Yuji or something (since he clearly isn't there but Sukuna looks. like he looks.) OOF-)
.
#Ask#Thinkings™#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fic#jjk fix it#jjk fix it fic#SIkuna#(deliberate misspell)#syuuya#jjk sukuna#ryomen sukuna#ryoumen sukuna#jjk nobara#kugisaki nobara#nobara kugisaki#(She accidentally took over a large part of the Ask lol; gotta love her absolute Queen self 👑)#Also just in case anyone was worried over that; I have decidedly not given up on the story or anything like that#despite it all taking longer than I thought it'd be heh - unless I make it clear somewhere that the story is on Hiatus#it means I'm at least slowly working on the next Part (sometimes it's going perfectly sometimes it just doesn't you know 🤗) still#Sadly I doubt Part 9 is gonna be even close to the Behemoths that Part 7/8 ended up being but I hope it'll be a satisfying read regardless🤗#Even if it takes me years; I will definitely finish the main part of the story (and very likely not stop there lol#- post-main-plot Shenanigans; not to mention so many possible Canon/Canon-adjacent crossovers; are definitely a thing I'd wanna get into🤗)
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok so I had another dream about joker out and I wanted to share it, this won’t be a regular thing I just thought it was a cool dream
So kris and Bojan had a another Damon photoshoot together and like kris had really cool wings on and like a white button up shirt that was like only done up halfway and trousers that were like really fucking tight in the ass but like looser at the bottom that were also white and the pictures of him with the wings on on he was alone and there were some with out them alone too, like in a tree for some reason and just crouching in a field
then Bojan had some pictures alone where he was in the same thing but all black and no wings but he had like a crown and some of the pictures he was lying down in grass like some of the other Damon ones
^like these ones just the fact he’s lying down is the similarity
and others he was like leaning on brick walls outside looking hot as fuck and kind of like the guys at the start of west side story
Then in the ones together they both had crowns on and in the same black and white clothes and they had some lying in the grass together and in one of them kris had Bojan against the wall but he was kind of beside him rather than like it looking like they were about to kiss or something
and kris posted them and THE FUCKING CAPTION said something about like “my love” or “love of my life” or something equally as gay and then tumblr just exploded, everyone lost their collective shit
#Joker out#This was like a watching on instagram and tumblr kind of dream#Like I just saw the posts not like them doing the shoot#I think my dreams have gotten much more tame since I stopped taking melatonin a few days ago#Cause this would have been much more insane if I was still on it#I highly doubt anyone will actually give a shit but I was like I need to see a photoshoot where it’s like this#Cause I don’t think it’s too far off what they have done in the past#Except gay#The gay part is optional of course though#I just need this aesthetic of photos#kris guštin#bojan cvjetićanin#Was gonna schedule this for some random time but fuck it I’ll post it now#If I ever post something that doesn’t have a bunch of extra random tags with unnecessary information it’s not me I’ve been hacked#This has been in the notes app on my phone since like 10 this morning so that’s why it says like#I just had a dream#Cause I didn’t just wake up#It’s half 2#That would not be good
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aren't Draluc's suits like, canonically custom-tailored? Why tf does he wear sleeve garters when he's not cooking?
Just for the drama???
#i got high and realized 'wait wtf are those things for' and fell down a little wikepedia rabbit hole don't worry about it#apparently in the 19th century sleeves were just all made on the longer side so sleeve garters were used to hold them up at the right lengt#meaning. practical use for rolling up sleeves when cooking but not for. daily life#so like. for the drama right?#but now i'm also wondering like. if they were introduced in the late 1800s when did the dragon clan all adopt them into their fashion sense#somehow i doubt a bunch of immortal vampires are super on top of fashion trends#unless grandpa one day was like 'hey i think these things are cool. let's all wear them.'#it's kinda hard to tell if anyone else wears them tho bc (as far as i can remember) draluc's the only one we see take off his jacket 🤔#he could just be a dramatic bitch. because i mean. he is#no one is gonna read these autistic fucking ramblings in the notes of this post lmaoooo there's a reason i tag my texts posts the way i do#tvdint#stacky ramblings#the vampire dies in no time
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking of working on something like Dark Harmony but with shorter chapters. I have some ideas I can’t typically decide on yet.
Fyi, this series will first be finished and then published.
#also let me know what you guys think in the comments#that’d be nice#well I doubt anyone’s gonna read the tags and think yeah I’ll do that lol#winx#winx club#winx fandom#winx season 4#winx season 5#wizards of the black circle#winx rewrite#fanfic#fanfiction#winx fanfic#txt#txt post#poll#tumblr poll
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
Spoiler? for fear the walking dead. if you care about that? Alycia did it again 💀 I’m not sure about anything else that happened since she left but apparently her character finally reunited with her mother
Baby I seen, and she looks fine as fuck
I haven't seen exactly what happens entirely cuz people are being slow posting clips but it's fine cuz I'm,,, pretty sure it's offensively nonsensical plot wise anyway, but whew. Damn Alycia, back at it again. Girl will do community service for all the busted ass shows of her past and I suppose I respect that. Loyalty and all that
#anon#ftwd#ftwd spoiler?#maybe?#i doubt anyone really cares all that much anymore 🥴#sooo.... Alicia has immunity then?#like that's... that has to be the logical conclusion here how else could she have lived?#what happened here I need to understood this fuckery#lovely to see her face tho Alicia deserved so much better#also like#she thought Madison was dead 🤨#if eyeeeee saw my momma after thinking she was gone for years idk if I'd just “.... mom?....” and then ~calm hug~#whatever she looks insanely hot here I'm not gonna question the gifts I will simply say thank you#woke up to take more pain meds and had a rollercoaster of emotions alright then
52 notes
·
View notes
Photo
a million choices, though little on their own become the heirloom of the heaviness you've known
#hotdedit#gotedit#house of the dragon#asoifedit#aemond targaryen#aegon targaryen#haelena targaryen#userbecca#tusermich#edits#yeah another purple and yellow edit#but at least it's not a magenta and purple edit like in my first draft gsdgs-#i'm still trying to learn to color this show and it's hard#so ignore the obvious choppiness on some of this#did anyone have doubt i would hyperfocus on the tragic terrible sibs from hell?#i really like all the blacks too ofc#i think it's pretty useless to talk about the moral high ground in the asoiaf universe#so don't come for me when i say aegon fascinates me to no end#tom really said: i'm gonna give the girlies everything they want#(an awful person trapped in his own condition ft pretty crying eyes)#but these lines of the song spoke to me about them in particular#especially knowing what is going to happen#i dream of a world where they grew up close to both viserys and rhaenyra and there was no dance#they would all have been that much happier#but i'm a sucker for sibs who stick together cause they're STUCK together
285 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not even being dramatic when I say this is the 2nd worst gymnastics scandal after Sydney 2000. The FIG should be ASHAMED of themselves for their handling of this Olympics
#olympics#now everyone has to deal with the fallout that will happen once the ioc officially requests for jordan to give her medal back#i have had a lot of changing opinions about this floor final and this is what i now think#the judges did make a mistake about accepting Jordan's inquiry. but they haven't answered when the 1 minute starts#do they start a timer as soon as the scores are displayed#does the coach have to go to the judging area within the one minute? or does a form have to be filled out and a fee have to be paid?#transparency would be GREAT#they bumped ana's score from 13.7 to 13.766 and nobody has explained where the .066 came from#also sabrina got a 0.1 oob deduction but people have reviewed her routine and she never stepped oob#because her coach didn't inquire about this she doesn't have a chance at the bronze even though it should have gone to her to begin with#just a disaster all around#and also multiple gymnasts have gotten screwed by the judging + the judges haven't been consistently applying deductions#suni went out of bounds on vault at aa finals and didn't get a penalty#heard people talk about gymnasts going overtime at the bb finals without a penalty but simone got a .3 deduction for not saluting#but she actually did salute#one gymnast got a .3 deduction when it should have been a .1 deduction and that took her out of aa finals even though she should be there#no accountability from the FIG who caused this but the athletes are having to suffer from their mistakes#and i doubt anyone is gonna lose their job or be punished by this#and don't get me started on the amount of racism that is also at play with all of this#I'm sooooooo upset and the more developments that come out the more i think FIG should be dismantled#it's nof right to play with people's mental health like this
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
im so tired of exclusives like in general actually. its like You wanna play this game? well you have to have this exact device to play it sorry. yeah we know that the ones you already have would be able to run it just fine and theres no logical reason why we couldnt put it on there too but we just dont feel like it sorry. Oh you wanna watch this movie too? Well theres like 500 different streaming services out there and only one highly specific one has it . please give us your money now . its so annoying everything i like should always be available on the exact devices and services that i have forever
#sega and apple are crazy if they think im gonna buy an iphone AND get a monthly subscription service for sonic dream team#anyway . i love piracy#its also just such an odd decision from a financial standpoint like wouldn't sega make more money if they make the game more accessible#maybe it would encourage more people to get apple arcade but i doubt anyone who doesnt have an apple device already#is gonna get one just to play one game thats not even a one time purchase but is locked behind a subscription
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
on arranged marriages
it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.
mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.
but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.
i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.
too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.
they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!
of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.
time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...
i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.
then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?
and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!
hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1
anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)
but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo
#banana speaks 🍌#okay that's enough emosh stuff for tonight i think#time to go to bed and watch his tiktoks and kick my feet and giggle at my phone bc i can't believe this is happening still#idk why i made this post honestly but its just like...it is SO SCARY sometimes#and for ages and ages i didn't feel ready at all#my sister had a love marriage and she's been married 10 years w 4 kids she's rlly happy#but i just knew that wasn't gonna happen for me so i was happy w an arranged marriage#but also#i have really strong faith#(mostly)#and something that really helped me here was#im SUCH a chronic over thinker but literally the moment i saw him in our front room#i felt this deep certainty like 'this is it..this is him' it felt like this beautiful peace in my heart#and that was so so lovely like...there's wedding stuff and other things to prepare for but theres no doubt in my mind ab him and its just??#insane im like#its like all my doubts disappeared#and also it's v interesting bc i think if he'd tried any lines on me or flirted when we talk i would be worried but#hes really respectful and my dad likes him my mum likes him we ALL like him hahaha#inshallah inshallah things will go well#also rishta's will come from unexpected places#we were looking in the uk for AGES and couldn't find anyone#but we found him within a year of him being here because turns out...he only came here from pak to be w his parents last year#jo hai tera lab jayega indeed#once agan#inshallah it all goes smoothly :D
13 notes
·
View notes