#i dont want to talk about how many layers were packed in this thing

[roo-was-here-art]

OCtober day 6: Mirrors

[nrdmssgs]

😿Please-please dont leave Riot sad and desperate. I want a happy ending please. 😿

Ok, here's happy mischievous Riot for you, love!

Part 1 Masterlist Fluff

Summary: Christine 'Riot' Vega (belongs to @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot) has a little vacation and Nikolai and Olga 'Zhar' Samoilova show her St. Petersburg.

"Nik, for God’s sake, let go of the poor thing! Get yourself a child and pack them in a thousand layers of clothes!" Olga sighs impatiently, propping her back against the front door.

"I'm not torturing her - just making sure, my little ray of sunshine doesn't catch cold." Nikolai and Christine grin at each other, while he wraps a scarf around her, so that it covers half of her face. "Besides, sokrovishe moye*, you want me to switch to 'getting a kid' routine right now or you're willing to wait till the evening?"

If a gaze could burn through flesh - Nik would already be on fire. It seemed, that every TF Lieutenant, even a former one, got their very own signature death stare. But the overall mood in the room was still jolly, and Christines happy laughter was the best acknowledgement to it.

She was smiling widely ever since Olga calmed her down, Nikolai came back from a meeting and promised Riot, that he'll make his second in command take a day off and spend it with them. Even on the next morning, she looked like a little lantern, lighting up the surrounding space.

On their way to café, Riot planned and executed a full 'drop your friends into a snow pile' operation.

"Captain should have seen this - I could get a raise!" She laughed, while Olga fought her way back on the solid ground and Nikolai held her firmly, not letting her away.

"Stop fighting, feisty thing. Just relax and I'll lift you myself." Nikolai whispered, pressing Zhar closer and ignoring her fruitless attempts to escape.

"You rascal. A scoundrel. Bribed my friend to do that, didn't you?" Every Olgas next phrase was interrupted by a kiss until she gave up and kissed him back.

Riots grin radiated from under the scarf, when Nikolai lifted Zhar and finally let her go.

***

"You two look, like you're planning some world-class heist!" Christine checked, how her friends came out on a photo she took.

"I look like an absolute sweetheart," Nikolai leaned closer to Riot and took a peak at her smartphone "It's my love, who looks like a predator on a hunt every time, she reads the dessert card."

"Christine, how much would you miss this man if-"

"If you two went on a date this evening? I won't miss him at all. Nik? No, never heard of him. Won't miss this lucky bastard at all."

Olga raised her eyes to her friend and sighed. "I was going to ask your permission to strangle Nikolai alive, but... ok, date it is, I guess."

Nik tried to make some commentary about holding the strangling part till they are back home, but Zhars fingers clasped to his shoulder so strong - they became white.

"Ok-ok, before you kill the poor guy - tell me one thing!" Christine smiled enigmatically and tilted her head slightly. "There's one detail about you, nobody from the TF could describe to me. That being, how come you never talked to each other for years of working together before that notorious operation?"

Olga looked lost, as if she tried to form an answer, but couldn't find the right words. Nikolai on the contrary was relaxed and happy and went back to hugging her.

"Well, we actually talked. Twice even. It just never went that well." Zhar broke the silence.

"Whoa, you made jokes about each other? Or shared some memories from Russia? Or straight started a fight?" Riot had so many scenarios in her head, it was a pity, none of them were close to reality.

"No, I. Well, the first one was my bloop, to be honest. But she got me scared!" It was funny to hear, that anyone could frighten Nikolai, but he went on. "I stumbled upon her in the middle of the night, and she pointed the gun at me, little crazy thing! I was lost, so I... I congratulated her with the Chekist day. It was a first thing, that I remembered!"

"Wait, Chekist as the 'Cheka' soviet secret police?... That controlled the society and executed many innocents? Nik, I love you, but were you out of your mind?"

"He was, Christine." Olga nodded eagerly. "And I didn't point my gun at him - he walked on me in the armory, where I cleaned it! I even have a witness - Ghost was there!"

"Oh yes, I forgot, that I got not one, but two side eyes! Very nice of you, guys! Super-friendly, not intimidating at all!" Nikolai moved closer to Riot just in case.

Zhar squinted her eyes unkindly and took a sip of coffee, letting Nik continue his story.

"The second time was purely her fault. I did nothing wrong, I swear!" Nikolai tried to hide behind Riots shoulders, but it wasn't that easy, considering, how much taller he was, even when seated.

"My fault?!" Zhar made another sip and closed her eyes for a moment. "My best friend came back from the mission, we all went to the pub, where this happy face already was..." She glanced at Nikolai. "There, I learn, that Nik dropped my Kyle out of his copter! My friend could have died. It was only natural-"

"It was only natural for you to wait till I go out, pin me to the wall and threaten me?" Nikolai still tried to hide behind Riots chair.

"I explained, what will happen to you, if it ever happens again. And don't play on Christine's nerves as if you are not a full head taller than me. You could push me away at any moment."

"Na-a-a-ah, I bet somebody just got horny and froze to remember every single moment." Riot chuckled, looking back at Nik.

"Horny? Solnushko*, I got terrified! She reeked of beer - this little trouble could have done anything and I couldn't fight back!" Nikolai pouted.

"Just for the record: I reeked of beer because MacTavish couldn't keep his hands still, and his glass of beer ended up on my jeans."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't check, how wet your pants were every time we had an encounter. How ungentlemanly of me. The next time you decide to pin-"

"The next time, I'm taking a bloody rope. And a gag..." Olga stood up and disappeared into the depths of the café.

Riot bent and was now suffocating of laughter. Nikolai patted her back softly.

"There's no way, I can make you not tell this story to others, isn't it?" he asked, half predicting her answer.

Riot couldn't master a single word, so she just shook her head.

"Well, at least, looks like I'll have the best date ever thanks to you." He took the menu. "Now, how about we pick you something sweet? This chocolate Ferrero cake looks nice, mm?"

sokrovishe moye - my treasure

Solnushko - sunshine

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Imagine: Asking your husband Derek to go to the local Fair in town.

It was Hot, Far too Hot to be just June, the sweat rolling off your forehead going into your brow, Was one of MANY! reasons why you Hate Summer. Sure Winter is cold but when you're cold. you can Add an extra layer you can snuggle up with your Hot (Physically And in appearance) Husband. Derek. you met him right after his Baby mama had their Son Eli and she Bailed. Leaving the Quiet little town for the Big City and Derek making a vow once the "true Alpha" left for the city abandoning Beacon Hill. he came back and vowed to never leave. you just moved into town when you bumped into him in the food market. seeing him struggle with a New baby. as he was debating on which baby food he should have. you are a baby expert. Since your old roommate had a baby and you witnessed it ALL! you couldn't help yourself but Help the Single Hot dad with the adorable baby. Years later Eli was now a teenager. and you were Sweating outside pulling weeds in the garden.

you tried pawning off this task to Eli, But he heard "yard work "this morning at breakfast and He bolted. Derek always kindly offered to do it after work since he knew you hated Yard work. you use to love it, it use to be a nice chore, you put music on. make a big pitcher of Lemonade. Four years agoana Ancient God of Harvest came to beacon hill and you were captured and Almost Eaten alive by a Roots of a tree.. you were caught In the garden. So you don't practicallyy Enjoy Doing the Yard work anymore. Not alone at least.

Sitting in the yard on your butt lunged over a flowerbed. you remember When Derek and you moved into the house, the first thing he did after you both painted the house. was put the flowerbed up. His mom use to love her garden back at the Old Hale home. and he said the house wasn't a home without a bunch of prettty flowers. and they calmed him. you loved how the flowers looked but you didn't like How Hot it was.

Derek was in the shop working on a stubborn truck calibrater. Something about a leak or a missing piece. Honestly, when Derek talks to mechanics, you don't listen to you. You watch him and openly drool over him. Even after years of dating and marriage, you are still sometimes stunned at his beauty. Derek openly teases you about it.

The sun was getting hotter, and everyone was at the fair. Eli was there going with a girl he liked.

After pulling all the weeds, cutting the yard, and clearing the clippings. You went inside and took. A cold shower to cool down.

Hearing the front door open and hearing Derek call out for you. You called down saying you be back in a few minutes. Meeting him in the kitchen you sat on the counter freshly cleaned and cooled down as you watched your husband prep dinner.

"Hey Hot stuff." you called out as he chuckled as he looked up atyou, "Hey beautiful- what you want?"

you chuckled gasping touching your heart, "me? what makes you think i want anything." he smiled he's famous lop sided smile before stepping over putting both hands on either side of your legs as he gave you a quick peak on the lips, "because baby I know you- you only call me hot stuff when you want something."

you smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him into second longer kiss before pulling back, 'well- it just so happens- I wanted to ask you out on a Date. tonight after dinner."

he smiled to that as you spoke, "the fair is in town- and I dont know if you remember but that's the Same fair we met each other- where you threatened to kill me if i didn't turn into a wolf.."

Derek sighed heavily as he spoke, "Seriously? I ended up saving your life that night."

"wait- you tried killing Y/N?"

you both turned seeing Eli as Derek moved away as you nodded your head. slightly bummed that Derek moved away but you turned to Eli as you spoke, "yup- I was one of the first people your dad wanted to turn to make his pack."

"but you aren't a werewolf."

you nodded your head, 'yea- ugh- your dad had a change of heart."

"I just realized how much of a pain and trouble she would cause me and i didn't want to be stuck with her forever."

he went back to fixing up the porkchops as yu chuckled, "Jokes on you Sucker! you married me. Stuck with me forever and beyond now." Derek chuckled as Eli walked off. after that as you spoke, "So? you going to take your favorite girl to the Fair? or am I going without you?"

Derek smiled as he turned looking at you. feeling his heart full. he never thought he would have this.. this perfect slice of heaven. he nodded his head, "i'll take you. but only if you Win me a bear."

you smiled saying deal. as you got off the counter kissing his cheek and helping him with dinner.

[9tzuyu]

stay.

note: normally i try not to get too personal with authors notes, but #lolz feeling a little silly and goofy ig

i really debated posting this because all it is - is a huge vent/dump fic. i don't expect anyone to read this or for it to really go anywhere and that's fine with me. i'm actually a little embarrassed? i guess you could say? i don't know. a lot of issues are coming up revolving around my ed so i just had to get it out.

+ i do promise to try and work on requests and lighter stuff. i still cant afford a new computer so im doing everything from my phone. it'll take some time, i'm sorry about that. i'll try my best to get requests out as soon as i can.

warnings: talks about anorexia/eating disorders. if you decide to read this i strongly advise you to take a moment beforehand because i do go pretty in depth at some points. i dont want to trigger anyone or anything, so the warning is here.

**please note that this is heavy thought based at first before it moves onto dialogue.

**and remember this is just a vent/comfort fic i originally wrote for myself, so if it’s not as good as any of my other fics you guys like i’m sorry.

ALSO SORRY TO KILL THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT HELP

++ please be safe tonight

ty moli for proofreading i love u <3

it was impossible to understand why such an awful thing could be glamorized

you were only ten when you first stumbled across the sites. sacred rules could be found plastered all over the home pages in cute fonts to distract from how twisted the demands were. lists of diets and calorie counting apps were always linked on the side, along with pages full of videos pertaining to weight loss. 

even at a young age, you knew it was obviously all wrong, that the people running these blogs had to be sick themselves. but that didn’t stop you from continuing your exploration of the community. once you started you couldn’t stop.

by the time you were twelve, you counted on laxatives and self-induced vomiting to ease your insecurities. it worked for a while, but then it wasn’t enough. you had to do more, be better than the person you were a few months prior. 

at thirteen, you joined group chats and ran your own little blog tied to those who could relate. the praise for losing weight easily became your biggest motivator. because if you were the smallest, you were the best. within a few years, you’d been perfectly trained into thinking that less was good, and that becoming more was the worst thing you could ever be. 

you were taught that losing hair and bruises on your skin were the things you wanted. if you didn’t have those, then you were hopeless, not enough. others in the community told you to look up to those cliche, horribly written characters with eating disorders. no matter how many stereotypes and stigmas they gave off, those characters would always be praised some way or another. you weren’t shocked to say that reading winter girls did you no favors at all.

the next few years were on and off between misery and glimpses of happiness. it was never ending. nonetheless, you ignored what every therapist told you and remained firm on the belief that your body was different from the rest. your body wouldn’t go too far like the others because you were strong. you’d come so far already, why would you stop now? 

you denied your diagnosis of anorexia because nothing was wrong. you weren’t in a hospital bed dying of heart failure. why were you supposed to believe what you were doing wasn’t right when nothing serious has gone wrong? that was your point, although you knew somewhere in your mind it wasn’t normal to cry over a turkey sandwich or panic at the thought of even smelling food. 

so you stayed true to your routine of hiding food, packing on layers of concealer, and lying straight through your teeth when asked if you’d stuck to your meal plan. 

it never lasted long though because despite your best efforts, your body would eventually give away the truth on its own. weigh-ins became impossible to trick, your extra small clothes hung two sizes too big over your body. anyone with eyes could see that you’d been less than truthful the entire time.

as you got older, you found that some years were better than others. your body could be healthy and you found yourself genuinely enjoying those around you. friends and family said you were more fun to be around. during those times they didn’t have to worry so much, they could laugh at lame jokes you’d tell without thinking it might be the last one they’d ever hear.

during those years, your eating disorder was much more quiet. you were able to eat food and not feel as guilty as you would when you were sick. the thoughts were always there; they were just more manageable than before.

but somewhere in your twenties, you found yourself still stuck in the cycle introduced to you at the tender age of ten. you were old enough now to know and believe what you were doing was wrong, but the fear of facing and fighting back against your eating disorder was too scary of a thought for you to handle. 

you knew now that when you were younger people brainwashed you into believing smaller was better. they took the lighter side of eating disorders and turned them into goals you’d want to reach.

the people you’d met on pro-anorexia websites romanticized the fuck out of the disease, leading you to believe you’d be beautiful and envied by others as long as you had a gap between your thighs and size zero pants around your waist. you thought someone would’ve wanted you as long as you were frail and dainty (two words commonly misused to describe someone who was actually weak and dying). 

it was a mystery to you at sixteen why you were so miserable when you were promised happiness and self-confidence. girls didn’t envy you like you’d been told they would. instead they’d stare at you, weirded out by how freakishly skinny you were. your name was constantly in people’s mouths at school, everyone wondering why you’d ever want to look like that. 

friendships didn’t last long either. you wore people out with your constant need to skip out last minute on plans that had been scheduled for over a week. things didn’t make your case any better when you’d snap at your friends for wanting to get something to eat because they were hungry. a few small, petty arguments too many, and they’d be on their way as far from you as they could go. 

you’d never felt more alone in your life when even your longest friends started to grow tired of your behavior. 

why couldn’t they think about how tired you were of it? you are with yourself 24/7 after all.

those in charge of the sites forgot to mention all the extremes you’d learn to go to when it came to avoiding or getting rid of food. it was more than just sneaking dinner into your dog's mouth. for you, it was hiding sacks of vomit in your closet, throwing them in a large plastic bag the night before trash day. for you it was throwing up in your friend's front yard while they ran inside for a few minutes to get something. for you it was hitting yourself in the stomach for over an hour hoping to replace hunger pain with physical pain against your body. 

no one ever mentioned the insane beliefs that tagged along with anorexia. like the ones you had where you thought fast food water had calories in it because it was surrounded by the smell of food, or thinking that shampoo and advil had hidden calories in them that would somehow leak into your body. 

you knew how stupid and irrational everything sounded, but those beliefs were so ingrained in your mind it was hard to challenge them. 

another unmentioned concern no one cared to bring up was the fact that you’d eventually have to tell people new in your life what you’d struggled with. you told natasha awhile before you started dating her and she didn’t run off or stray away from you. you were grateful for that, but it didn’t make things very much easier for you.

if things were bad, then date nights rarely ever consisted of going out for food. this hardly ever bothered natasha too much, but you could see the occasional falter in her eyes when you told her you’d rather do something else. she’d love to take you out hold your hand as you walked to the ice cream shop after you’d eaten dinner. she’d love to enjoy a glass of wine or two at a nice restaurant with a four course meal, but you couldn’t always give her that.

there had been a few dates ruined by your eating disorder. the worst of which came just a few short months after you’d told her about your issue. 

the fair was in town and natasha was over the moon about the idea of taking you with her. you weren’t in the best mindset that particular day though. the thought of being around fried, greasy food was enough to make your stomach churn, but you saw how happy she was and didn’t want to ruin her the surprise she had for you. 

half way through the night you had a panic attack, cutting the date short. words couldn’t even begin to describe how guilty you felt. natasha drove you back to hers, silence filling the air after you apologized profusely. she spent the night watching over you, making sure you didn’t do anything because she knew how angry you were with yourself. 

dates like those came few and far between, especially through the years you weren’t struggling as badly. 

you couldn’t say the same for now though.

you tapped your feet against the tile flooring as you sat in the lobby of your doctor's office. natasha sat next to you, hand clasped tightly over yours. she was worried. beyond worried, really. 

like many times before in the previous years, you’d managed to hide your relapse quite well from others. the only reason natasha knew now was because you’d passed out on the job. you’d woken up in the hospital to her setting a glass of water on the table next to your bed. 

you argued about it for three days before finally agreeing to go to the doctor. 

truth be told, natasha was probably more worried about it than you were. the only thing occupying your mind was the fear of having to gain weight again, but also the chance that you might lose natasha if you didn’t get it together this time. 

you weren’t a kid anymore. you knew very well she had the right to leave if she wanted to. you also knew the bind you were putting her in. if she left, natasha would run the risk of worsening your situation and in a month's time she might not ever see you again. but if she stayed, then she’d only be screwing herself over by destroying her own mental health. 

neither one of those options were ones you liked. 

“y/n?”

you looked up to see a nurse standing in the doorway of the lobby. natasha gripped your hand as you stood up and you nodded for her as an okay to follow you. stepping on the scale was the worst part, especially since the nurse had no idea of your current situation and decided to allow you to look at the number in front of you. natasha was about to say something, but you’d already seen what the scale said, anyway. 

she did, however, grimace at the sight of how skinny your arm was when you took off your jacket for a blood pressure check. just like the rest of your body it was too thin. 

“temperature and weight are low-”

you are slowly dying, was the translation.

“-but your blood pressure is just above where it should be.” she left the room after jotting down the reason for your visit, telling you that your doctor would be in shortly. 

you spent the next fifteen minutes waiting in an uncomfortable silence, watching as natasha fiddled with the ring on her index finger. 

“it’ll be okay, nat.” 

 “we’ll see what the doctor says.”

“i’m sorry.” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “i know you are.”

 her reply didn’t help the matter, only making you feel more guilty by the second. guilt you didn’t have room to feel when you were the one doing this to yourself.

a light knock on the door made noise and your doctor walked in, a smile on her face like the previous times you’d been in her office.

“hello dr. hill.”

“y/n,” she greeted. 

the doctor flicked through your files on her computer before she addressed you herself.

“want to tell me in your own words what happened?”

you shrugged, “hit another relapse. passed out at work. argued with my girlfriend over whether or not i should be here.” 

she hummed, taking your hands in her own, examining how blue your fingernails had turned. “a lot less pink from the last time i saw you.” 

her stethoscope met your spine, and you inhaled, exhaling as she moved it around the back of your body.

“lungs sound fine.” you waited patiently until she finished listening to your chest. “your heartbeat isn’t where i’d like it to be, but seeing as you’re a little over twenty pounds underweight, it’s exactly where i’d expect it to be.” 

dr. hill paused, jotting down a few notes on her clipboard. “i strongly recommend hospitalization.” deal breaker. you shook your head instantly, instantly regretting making the appointment. 

natasha swallowed back a sob full of anger and frustration. “why not?”

“i just can’t, alright? it’s not even that bad.” you mumbled.

dr. hill stepped out into the hallway, giving you and natasha space to talk.

“did you not hear her? jesus christ it’s like talking to a brick wall with you.” she paced around the room, emotions too high for her to think properly before speaking.

“well then leave, natasha. i don’t care anymore.”

“i don’t want to! that’s the last thing i ever want to do to you. but god, why can’t you just fucking eat?”

she couldn’t stop the words from slipping from her mouth. her heart broke when she saw the look on your face.

“and why can’t you understand it’s not always about that?” you whispered to the ground.

“i know. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to say that. but please, we can do this together. i’ll there every step of the way, you just have to want it for yourself.” she pleaded, eyes watery with tear tracks tracing the edge of her jaw.

“i just want to go home. can we just go home, please?”

. . .

the smell of natasha’s dinner aired throughout the kitchen. you watched as she filled her plate with a variety of things. it looked good — good enough to eat — you couldn’t lie about that.

natasha hadn’t spoken a word to you since the appointment earlier in the day, too upset to even think about it.

you were conflicted about everything.

literally everything.

but seeing natasha sitting alone, face propped up resting against her arm, flipped something inside of you.

you could almost hear her voice telling you to try, just try, that’s all she wanted from you. the both of you knew you’d end up dead if you didn’t. and you didn’t really want that, no matter how many times you wished it would happen.

so you went to grab your own plate, filling as much as you thought you were comfortable with and sat next to nat. this was the first time you’d done this in months.

you inhaled, but made no move to take a bite.

your thoughts had never been this loud before. it was bickering back and forth, nonstop.

you wont be good anymore if you eat that.

– yes i will.

you’re disgusting.

– i’m just hungry.

it’ll go away.

– i just want to eat. it’s just food. nothing more.

you know you can’t do that. you’re bad, horrible, the worst person in the world. so be good.

“damnit!” you slammed your fork down, startling natasha.

breathe.

“you’ve got this.” natasha’s soft voice came from beside you and her hand clasped into yours. “how’s this? i can talk about something, anything you’d like to take your mind off of this.”

you cleared your throat with a small nod, “it’s almost halloween.”

“it is. do you want to do anything this year?”

“can we dress up and give away candy to the kids? and can we stay up and watch horror movies?” natasha giggled, “we sure can.”

she noticed how your fork began to circle around the food, pushing and shoving it around.

“can you take another bite?”

no.

don’t.

the metal hit your tongue, food leaving the fork and into your mouth.

“do you have any ideas as to what you would like to dress up as?”

“mmm. well i think we should definitely go as edward and bella from twilight.” you replied sarcastically.

“i love you, but there’s no way in hell you’ll get me to dress up as a sparkly vampire.”

her thumb rubbed the top of your knuckles. “another bite please. you’re almost there.”

your lip trembled and you could feel the lump in your throat start to form. you felt so stupid and humiliated that natasha had to do this for you.

with a shaky breath, you exhaled, pushing yourself once more.

“i think we should go as gay ken and barbie.” your lip twitched into a smile. “and who would you be?”

“well ken of course,” she confirmed.

“what it i wanted to be ken?”

“and what if i wanted to just wear a cat's ear headband with a black turtleneck and pants and call it a costume?”

“if you want to, we can.” the redhead smiled, shaking her head. “we can be anything your little heart desires. now, one last bite?”

and one last bite it was.

you liked that natasha didn’t clap and cheer when you finished your plate. too many times you’d been told “i’m so, so proud of you!” or “i can’t believe you actually finished!”, it was annoying. those types of things always made you feel like a child who couldn’t do anything to begin with.

instead, natasha went with a gentle “i knew you could do it” and went to put the dish in the sink. it felt nice to have someone really believe in you.

“c’mon, we can get ahead on our horror movie watching a little early.”

natasha went to grab your hand, leading you into the livingroom and onto the couch. you tensed when her arm wrapped around your body.

gross. disgusting. she shouldn’t touch you.

“hey, where’d you go just now?”

“hm? nowhere. i’m here.” she knew you were lying, but decided not to push.

natasha’s hand moved from your side up to your head, scrunching her fingers together to scrape her nails against your scalp.

not good. tainted. dirty. wrong.

“what movie would you like to watch?” she clicked the remote and scrolled through a series of horror movies.

ruined.

“bride of chucky?” when she didn’t receive a reply she pressed play anyway, knowing it was one of your favorites.

natasha tried her best to keep you as distracted as possible. she went from letting you play with her hair and rings to asking questions about the movie, despite already knowing the answers.

“we should go as chucky and tiffany. don’t you think? i’ve already got the red hair.”

why would you do that?

“yeah, that’d be fun.” your voice cracked, causing natasha’s previous hand movements to come to a halt.

“is there anything i can do to help you right now?”

“i just don’t want to be here right now.” natasha’s eyes widened, and you quickly went to clarify what you meant. “no- no- not like that! not like that at all. i just… i don’t know, i feel stupid.”

“why?”

“we have a bathroom. i just ate.” not a second later and natasha put the pieces together.

“oh.”

you nodded, “it’s stu-”

“it’s not stupid. it’s triggering.”

natasha moved to get off the couch, disappearing out of your sight. you didn’t have the energy to try and see what she was doing, so you stayed put.

“let’s go for a drive. i know a spot you might like. it’s quiet, away from the city. we can just talk or listen to music. we could also just sit in silence if you want, i don’t mind. whatever it takes until you feel ready to come back.”

you didn’t bother trying to tell her that she didn’t have to do this because she wouldn’t listen anyway. natasha’s stubbornness was honestly one of the few things that’s saved you.

“nirvana? stevie nicks? what are you in the mood for?” natasha asked you softly, thumb tapping her screen as she scrolled through her spotify playlists.

“will you play kurt’s version of the man who sold the world, please?”

“of course. and you know you’re always welcome to change the song. i put it on shuffle though.”

the ride there was more relaxing than you thought it would be. your mind and body were too focused on the lyrics of the song and fiddling with natasha’s free hand. the thoughts were still there, just not as loud as before.

soon enough, you and natasha both laid flat against the back of her car staring up at the moon. it was still. no noise could be heard apart from the sound of crickets a few feet away.

you had room to think, room to breathe.

you thought about what some of your friends were doing right now. you’d seen pictures on instagram of them representing their college, a couple of party posts, and the occasional travel selfie.

those were all the things you wanted to do, but couldn’t. it was easy to let yourself feel jealous. sure, you were more than grateful to have natasha, but there’s nothing fun about being in a relationship with someone so self-destructive. there was no doubt natasha loved you, but it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved; or at least acts like they don’t.

so the choice was once again up to you. what was more important? spending days wasting away over something you’ll never reach? or living a new life, one that could be exciting, outside of your eating disorder?

“what’s on your mind?” natasha questioned, turning her head to the side to get a better view of your face. your cheeks were more hallow than she remembered and it made her stomach turn.

you hummed, “i was so caught up in my own pain i didn’t realize how much i was hurting everyone else around me. this race to be perfect; look where it got me.”

natasha didn’t know what the right thing to say was. your statement wasn’t necessarily wrong, so she couldn’t argue against it.

“i used to tell myself that my eating disorder never took anything from me. everyone always had something, whether it be a sport, or theater, or dance. i didn’t have that. and then i realized that’s exactly what my eating disorder took away from me. i haven’t done anything in the past decade except go through the motion. every day up until now i’ve lived to obey my eating disorder.”

there was pause, another inhale and another exhale.

“you could say i have someone; my family or friends, but after awhile they get tired. they stop trying and asking. they stop caring. a few years down the road and now i have a strained relationship with everyone i used to be close with. i guess it made it easier to accept what would inevitably happen to me.”

you turned to face her, a shaky breath leaving your mouth. “i don’t want to die, nat.”

the redhead had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. she couldn’t imagine a life without you, she didn’t want to imagine it.

“had i known when i was a kid that this would be my life i would’ve never continued on like this.”

“you still have time, you can still get better.” she reasoned.

“i know, it’s just hard.”

“you’re in the fight for your life, it won’t ever be easy.” natasha affirmed. “but i know you can do this.”

“we’ll see.”

. . .

*gasp* an eating disorder fic that doesn’t revolve around the fear of getting fat? v tired of that stereotype pleek not everyone with an ed is like that.

[crossingtoes]

Haikyuu Hc || Breaking up with him

TW: Angst, cursing sad ending

-> Ushijima

Ushijima has always been a hard person to figure out.

He rarely spoke by the time you two met, and that didn’t seem to change as you two started darting either.

In the beginning that seemed to be completely fine for you! His quiet nature didn’t bother you all too much, it was even in a way fun to figure him out, unwrap him like a little present.

Yet..as time passed by, and you noticed there where to many layers to unwrap, it became tiring. Home didn’t feel like home anymore. You were tired of guessing his moods, his desires. Home became nothing more but hell.

It was another one of those nights, the tension between the two of you was thick and uncomfortable. At least thats what you felt like. The past weeks have been more than exhausting job/school was exhausting, you and your family had a pretty big fight recently, and wakatoshi? He was the same as always. And that was exactly the problem...

He was as quiet as always, almost absent.. his pretty greenish eyes which you had loved to admire just stared at you in such an empty apathetic way, it slowly started to make you feel sick.

“Wakatoshi, what would you like to eat? Should we go for gummies or dried squid?” You asked as you rose from the couch, looking down on his broad figure. The two of you had one of those movie nights that once again, you had to suggest. You truly hoped some time off with your boyfriend, away from all duties would do you good. Sadly.. that wasn’t the case. As you had asked him if he’d like to watch a movie, he said he wouldn’t mind. Once you asked him what kind of movie he wanted to watch, he said he didn’t care. Being with wakatoshi had become a dutie as well. Everything was up to you, choosing what was for lunch, what you two did, what you would talk about. If it wasn’t for you carrying this whole relationship, Ushijima would probably never say a single word to you, or rather speak the bare minimum, be just a stranger in this house.

You waited for the male to answer, already able to feel your knuckels turn white from clenching your fists so tightly. And as you suspected, he didn’t care. “You choose, i am fine with either” and that, that was the last straw. “Is that all you have to say? Just pick! Fucking pick one, its not that hard!” You bursted at him. The stress and neglected feelings of your own were overflowing. “Its just food y/n ... “ Ushijima said after a little pause of listening to your heavy breathing “its not about the food, wakatoshi! This is about you! This is about all the things that you didn’t do!” He looked a little puzzled as you yelled at him, as the redness of anger and frustration rose to your cheeks which he had always loved to caress in your sleep. You two had your good times, a lot of them.. but lately, the past months.. the bad ones took over and made it hard for you to look him in the eye.

“This is about you! You and your damn apatheticness! I dont even feel like coming home anymore! This..This doesn’t feel like a safe place, a place to escape anymore. This is hell! Its just like everywhere else!” You were loud and rough, brabbling while he listened “i- cant keep guessing anymore wakatoshi! I cant keep making every decision for you! I..I need a partner, someone who can comfort me! Not a doll, not a subordinate! I cant do this anymore!” You vented to him, speaking out all the negative thoughts that had gathered up the past months of him just being there.. physically, but no more than that. Did he stop loving you? When did it change? Was he always like that, why had you only noticed now? When did it become too much for you to handle?

Silence filled the space of your appartement, the place which had held so many memories. The first steps of growing up, worrying about money and taxes, cooking your first meal together, breaking the laundry machine. A place which was nothing more but a memorie. Ushijima just looked at you, how you tried to catch your breath, hide the big tears stinging in your eyes. And as always, he didn’t say a word. It broke you more than it would have if he had tried to defend himself, try to make up excuses. Anything would have been better than this unbearable silence “i can’t do this anymore..” you repeated yourself in a shaky tone, and that was it. Ushijima had packed up enough things for a few days, deciding that it was better to give you space, until you were ready to talk it out. Because it had been always you who came back, you who talked, you who apologized. But this time there was no call back from you, no pleading..nothing. You went just as silent as he had always been, and wakatoshi started to wonder how such silence could feel so suffocating all of a sudden.

[bloodycassian]

Yes my lady. - CASSIAN X READER - CASSIAN TAKES READER TO SEE SOMETHING INCREDIBLE IN PRYTHIAN - smut at the end 

Cassian’s laugh warmed your cheeks as you stood before him in the hall. The heavy winter clothes you wore pooled around your wrists and ankles. “You’re the one who told me to dress appropriately.” You reminded him, stalking to the kitchen with a bag in hand. 

“I didnt think you were going to be dressed for winter court cold!” He followed you, his long limbs taking half the amount of steps it took you to get to the pantry. His extra coat fit him tightly, curving perfectly around his biceps. His hair was put up tighter as well to brave the longer flight with you.

“Do you need anything else? You havent really given me a great idea for what to expect here so…” You trailed off, showing him the packed bag of food and wine. His eyes darkened devilishly before saying “Maybe another bottle of wine… to keep you warm.” He winked.

+

The sun was dimming faster than you expected as you flew away from the Illyrian camp that Mor had winnowed you and Cassian to. She had given you a mischievous grin before she departed without a word. 

“Please dont say that you’re bringing me up here to train more.” You groaned, peering around his shoulder to eye the quickly disappearing camp far below you. 

“I told you already, this is me being nice.” His grip on you tightened with the words, and you felt your stomach flip slightly. His eyes were a golden honey brown in the waning sunlight. His hair streaked with brown and glossy black. You knew if you had said anything to him about it he would ruin it though. So you waited in silence, enjoying the view of his profile and the pinkish clouds as he flew you mile after mile into the northernmost parts of Prythian.

+

“Close your eyes.” Was his only instruction upon your descent. You could hear the smile in his voice as he told you when to take bigger steps or if rocks were coming while he led you uphill with your eyes squeezed shut. 

“I swear Cassian if you lead me to some kind of monster pit or something-” 

“Come on, you know I know better than that!” He laughed, finally stopping you with warm hands on your shoulders. “This is far enough, I want you to think of the prettiest parts of Velaris that you’ve seen, then open your eyes.” 

The only thing that came to mind were all the memories with him and a nice sunset, or sunrise. Training with him in the ring on top of the house of wind, sunlight glinting of his damp skin. You felt your hands get clammy, thinking about all the changing scenes that were dominantly him. The thought of anything but him being the most gorgeous thing in Velaris was utterly ridiculous. 

“What are you thinking of?” He asked after a few moments. His voice was more distant, and you heard him rifiling through the bag you’d brought. 

“The Sidra.” You lied. He laughed aloud, and you heard him pouring the wine. 

“Open your eyes.” He whispered sensually in your ear, as he slid the glass of wine into your hand. You could still hear the smirk on his lips. You were about to say something back, if just to get rid of the butterflies after him being that close but when you opened your eyes….the breath left you.

He was staring at you like a scholar, taking in every miniscule movement you made. Every breath, every expression. And you couldnt blame him as you gaped like a fish at the sky above you. 

It was overwhelming. The beauty of the location alone but with the added colors flecking the sky it was… “Astounding.” You breathed, blinking to keep your eyes from watering at the sheer beauty. Green turned to blue, blue to purple ever so slowly in the night sky above you. There was no moon out, only stars that seemed to frame the moving painting above you. The stars didnt dare shine too bright, as if they were leaving distance for your viewing of the… “What is this? Do the others know-” You gaped at him. He only shook his head. 

“Not many know. Almost none of the war camps do, unless soldiers somehow escaped hunting parties after they abandoned training.” He clinked your glass and smirked. “So how does it compare to the Sidra then?” You shoved him slightly, and he took your arm, sliding his hand down and lacing your fingers together as you both stared silently at the luminescent sky. 

+

“Rhys’ mother showed us this place when we were young.” He said fondly, leading you to a small stream nearby that flowed into a great lake that reflected the stars and colors above perfectly. The chill in the air was barely noticeable with the layers you hand on. And his hand wrapped around yours warming your entire body, as if he was emitting heat. “She loved to take us out flying outside of the camps. She was...like a real mother to me. I dont remember much about my own mother.” He said quietly, his tucked wings flaring slightly with a breeze that made the water ripple. 

“Rhys doesnt speak of his parents often either.” You tried to comfort, not wanting him to talk about it if he wasnt ready. 

“Sometimes I dont think Rhys truly understands what the Illyrian children go through.” He shook his head slightly, eyes turned to the dark forest across the lake. “That makes me glad though, that he put me in charge of the camps. Az would have them wiped out completely if it was up to him.” He grinned at the thought of his brothers. His true brothers, not just Illyrian brethren. 

“Cassian the Winged Savior.” You eyed him up and down and nodded. “It suits you.” 

His laugh echoed across the lake. “I doubt any of them would be calling me that.” 

You squeezed his hand and he turned to face you. You felt your cheeks flush further, and you knew it wasnt because of the wine or the layers you wore to keep you warm. “You think the best of me. I’ve never had someone.. Put so much faith in me.” He said slowly, his eyes reflecting the hues of green shading the sky. You couldn’t help but lean into him, his dark gaze holding yours.

“The victorious armies of the Night Court would beg to differ.” Your voice rose higher with nerves. You had wanted this with him for so long. Just to be alone, just to have the simplicity of time to be with him. 

“As a person. Not a Strategist.” He leaned closer to you as well, his hot breath warming your lips. 

“What about as a lover?” You asked slyly, your heart pounding in your ears so loud you could barely hear yourself. 

And then he was on you, his lips hot and smooth against yours. Perfectly shaped, shifting himself to match your pace, your angle. You didnt realise how much you had wanted him, needed him until your tongue was against his throat, drawing a shuddering breath from him. His response was just as needy, his hands gripping your ass, working his way back up to begin taking off your layers. 

“I’ll let you be the judge of that.” He rasped once he had your shirt off, his mouth slowly leaving a wet trail down your torso until flicking over a nipple, rolling the other with his fingers. A low moan escaped you, and he growled in satisfaction. He continued planing wet kisses down your side, your abdomen until he was on his knees before you. 

The sight of him looking up at you was enough to make you want to take him right there, but clearly he had other plans. He rubbed his hot - too hot to be normal - hands up your thighs in massaging circles until he was teasing you, his hand sideways between your legs, rubbing you so so deliciously. He stared up at you, devouring you with his mouth agape, as if he wanted to taste your moans. 

“Cassian-” You gasped as he rubbed just the tiniest bit harder against your thick pants. And you were suddenly being moved, his warm arms encircling you from the cool lake breeze. His lips never left yours as he carried you to a nearby cave filled with different outdoor supplies. He had a fire roaring on the leftover firewood instantly, his siphon glowing in the light of it. 

“Take your damned clothes off before I remove them.” You growled, pawing at his jacket. 

He smiled at you slyly, “ Yes my lady.” He rumbled.

+

If ya’ll wanna read more cassian p0rn let me know, hes my fave!

[pink-peony-princess]

You're My Life Now

Dawn had always been Peter's favourite time of day, he couldn't tell why, but there was something so peaceful about it. A time when the world seemed less corrupt,a time when you could just be still, be one with nature.

Nothing about this day had particularly stood out to Peter, there was nothing to suggest as he got ready for his usual early morning perimeter run to suggest that anything out of the ordinary was about to take place.

He'd been doing this run, every morning for almost two years now and nothing had happened yet. As one of the famous Mendes Triplets and Beta alongside his brother Raul to their eldest brother Shawn (Alpha of the infamous Shadowmoon Pack) Peter took his responsibility extremely seriously. He'd always been the sensible one out of the three of them, or at least the most level-headed one.

Shawn was an amazing Alpha,Peter had always admired his ability to lead,his empathy his compassion, but he could also let his emotions rule him, which could cause problems sometimes. Especially if there was a disagreement between the three brothers. Raul on the other hand, was, well, Raul. Fiery, and passionate and a bit of a trouble maker, he liked to stir the pot whenever possible and unfortunately for Peter he always seemed to be the piece keeper,to stop arguments (usually caused by some snide comment that Raul would make in the heat of the moment which he always regretted later).

Whenever anyone spoke of Peter the first things they'd say was that he was extremely loyal,always ready to help and would protect his loved ones with his life. He'd been like this as long as he could remember.

As Peter stood up from tying his shoe laces,putting his glasses on, he noticed the sheeting rain outside his window. It was so heavy that it was actually hitting the window,leaving large water droplets on the once clear glass. He sighed, it wasn't that he minded the rain, it didn't make a difference to him as to whether he got wet or not,he never felt the cold as a wolf anyway. But it would make it harder, more tedious to complete the run, he'd have to pay extra attention to his surroundings,to the sights, smells and sounds.

"I'm headed on my run," Peter called to Shawn and Raul as he past the kitchen where the two of them were making coffee and talking about day ahead.

"Thanks Pete," came Shawn's reply."I'll be in the surgery with Connor later if ya need me," Pete nodded as he made his way out the front door and into the rain.

The first part of the run was pretty easy, flat ground,open, easy to see the fields that sprawled unchecked for miles ahead. He made it in good time, easily nativagsting the familiar territory with no issues.

He was halfway home when he saw object up ahead. At first he couldn't make it out, even with his wolf-enhanced eyesight the sheeting rain was obscuring his view.As he made his way slowly closer,mindful that it might be some sort of a trap from the rogue wolves that were constantly trying to ambush their lands,he spotted the fabric.It was slightly covered by the truck of a tree, only half visible, but Pete was sure, it was definitely fabric from a tee-shirt.

It wasn't uncommon to find old clothes in random places around the lands, wolves would hide them in convenient spots so when they phased back to their human form they were able to dress themselves without hassle. Even Peter did it. But something about the way the shirt was sitting, haphazardly, carelessly, on the ground caught and held Peter's attention. Something told him it wasn't right.

As he made his way slowly closer the wind changed and he was hit with scent, overpowering his senses,causing him to falter momentarily.

It was the sweetest most intoxicating scent he'd ever smelt, like Rosewater and Ivy perfectly blended together. He took his glasses off pocketing them in the hope that not having the rain-covered glass in front of his eyes might allow him to see better.

As he stepped closer still, the clothing moved Peter stilled,watching waiting,a few seconds later it moved again,rolling over. It was then that Peter realised with horror, that this was not just an old disguarded set of clothing,this was a person, and a hybrid wolf at that, half human, half wolf he realised when another gust of wind sent a stronger wave of scent towards him.

He rushed forward no longer fearing an attack, only concerned for the welfare of this person. As he rounded the tree he got his first proper look at the person. It was a young girl. She looked to be about Peter's age. The first thing that struck Peter was not her bedraggled appearance- the way her dirty blonde hair hung around her face, sticking to her forehead and cheeks,not the mud that was caked into almost every part of her, not even the slashed in her faded green sweater that had obviously been made by wolves claws or the blood that was seeping out from the large wound beneath it and the several other cuts and bruises that peppered her small fragile body. No. The first thing that Peter registered was the look of fear, of terror as the girl made eye contact with him.

"D-dont come near me," the girl stuttered, a mixture of cold and fear Peter was sure.

He held his hands up in surrender, "Please don't be scared," he spoke softly, voice almost drowned out by the rain as he made his way closer still, now less than a foot away from the girl- young woman really.

Up close Peter could see the way her mascara was running from her eyelashes,leaving small black smudges under her red bloodshot eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you, I only want to help,I promise. My name is Peter."

She looked at him for a moment, seeming to weigh up what he was saying. "But you're a wolf," she pointed out. She was perceptive, Peter thought.

"Yes, I am," he admitted, watching as her eyebrows knitted together with fear again.

"And the other wolves hurt me," she chocked on a sob, looking away from him.

Peter reached out, placing a finger on her jaw, gently turning her head to look at him again. As soon as he made contact his whole hand began to tingle,and he felt the butterflies that so many other wolves had spoken of so fondly."Mate," he heard his wolf Timbre purr protectively from inside his head. He felt dizzy, slightly intoxicated now and had to shake his head a few times to clear his mind, to keep himself on the task at hand. If he didn't do something soon, he would have no mate to protect.

"But these are my lands- my pack's lands,my older brother Shawn is the Alpha, when he hears about what happend he'll send out a group to go out and deal with them. I promise you you're safe with me, with us," he was almost pleading with her by the end, but he didn't know what else to do.

"Just, please let me get you some help," he added,feeling the sting of tears in his eyes as the thought of what would happen if she didn't go with him ran through his head over and over again.

"How?" she asked. Looking up at Peter with wide eyes. Her eyes were so blue,it was like getting lost in the ocean.

"My brother,Shawn, when he's not working as the Alpha, he's a doctor, he'll be able to help you. I'll take you to him.I promise you'll be safe.

She nodded, water flying off her face, still not seeming entirely convinced, but she relaxed a little, her shoulders loosening just a little,as she reached for Peter's hand, surprising him. He took it feeling the tingles again, more than happy to have any contact with her that she'd allow. He wasn't sure if she was ignoring the feeling or simply in too much pain to notice, either way she said nothing.

"What's your name?" he asked, not breaking eye contact.

"J-Josie," she answered clearly still apprehensive. She watched his every move.

"Okay, it's nice to meet you Josie. Can you show me where you're injuried? I don't want to cause you anymore pain when I lift you," he asked, "apart from the gash on your stomach?"

"My back hurts," she told him, and my head. I feel kinda dizzy," she added, almost as an after thought. Peter didn't know much about medicine, bit what he did know was that it usually wasn't good when someone said their head hurt and they were dizzy. He knew he needed to get her home,out of the rain, to Shawn. They'd only been talking 5 minutes, but already she looked more pale, and slightly drowsy. He had trouble hiding his panic as he spoke again.

"Can I see?" she nodded, so he let go of her hand reluctantly and made his way around so he was behind her, slowly peeling back the layers of fabric to reveal a large oozing gash that ran from her left shoulder to the small of her back. She let out a whimper as the air and rain but it, making Peter's heart squeeze. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt his mate, when one mate hurt the other hurt."I'm so sorry," he apologised when she sniffled.

"Alright,let's get you inside," he murmured, coming back around and squatting so he was in front of her, automatically holding his hand out for her to take again. He could see how tired and scared she was and his heart literally ached."I know you hardly know me, but I think the quickest way to do this will be if I carry you, will you allow me to do that?" he asked softly, patiently waiting for a response.

She nodded again, and he wasted no time in carefully picking her up, trying his best to avoid her injuries.

That didn't stop her from letting out a scream.

"I know, I'm so so sorry," he whispered trying to console her.

She didn't say anything, instead curling into his body further, head resting softly on his shoulder. Peter couldn't help the small smile that pulled at his lips as he thought about the fact that she was already seeming to seek his comfort, his warmth. This was what he'd dreamt of since the day he turned 18 and was old enough to have a mate.

He ran as fast as he could, trying to be careful not to move her too much, and to shelter her from the pouring rain. He knew that if he'd shifted he would have been quicker making it back to the house, but she was terrified, and clearly in no way to be holding onto his back as he ran, somewhere along the way she past out, head rolling unsupported as he ran, making Pete panic more.

After what felt like an age, the house came into site, spurring him on to run harder. He sprinted the last 20 metres,and up the front porch stairs, banging on the door to get someone, anyone's attention. Finally, Connor came to the door.

"The door was open, why didn't you just-" he stopped taking in the unconscious young woman in his arms. "Holy crap," he whistled. "Where'd you find her?" he asked as Peter pushed through the doorway forcing Connor to step sideway to avoid being hit.

"Down by the south border," he answered moving further into the house. "She needs medical attention is Shawn still in the surgery?" he asked as he went to go up the first flight of stairs.

"Here, let me take her, you can get changed and meet us up there," he offered, holding his arms out for him to hand Josie over.

Peter immediately recoiled, baring his teeth,a soft growl eminating from his throat.

Connor stepped back a look of deep shock and confusion on his face. "Peter what the?" he started before he connected the dots, a large smile wiping the look of confusion from his features."Pete, did you, is she?" he asked tripping over his words.

Peter nodded,"But she's a hybrid Con, so we need to get her upstairs," he spoke, wasting no time waiting for his reply. Connor rushed past him so he could open the door to the surgery. The familiar smell of disinfectant hit Peter's nose as they walked in.

"Shawn, we need you right now," Connor called out, as they rushed through the front area and into one of the many consultation rooms.

Peter could hear Shawn making his way through the surgery as he placed Josie down carefully on the table, immediately missing the contact.

"What have we got?" Shawn asked, walking through the door, before stopped short as Connor had minutes before. "Pete, where'd you find her?" he asked grabbing a pair of gloves from the dispenser on the wall and making his way over to the bed. "She's got some nasty injuries," Shawn muttered as he surveyed Josie's body. He went to move her shirt away from her stomach, an automatic response,to make a better judgement, but Peter felt an immense feeling of protectiveness wash over him again at another male, even his brother,who was trying to help, touching his mate.

He couldn't help the growl that slipped out as Shawn pulled back the fabric exposing her stomach and the nasty gash which Josie had shown Peter in the field.

"What's your problem Peter," Shawn laughed, turning to him, "I'm doing my job little bro,"

"You're touching her, you'll hurt her," he snarled very unlike himself. He knew logically that what he was saying wasn't true, but he couldn't help it.

"Peter, as if I'm going to hurt her, I'm literally trying to do the opposite," he stopped watching the way Peter's gaze never left Josie and something clicked. "Peter is she your mate?" he asked beaming.

"Yeah," Pete chocked on the word.

"Congratulations man," Shawn smiled again. "It's a big step finding your mate, what's her name?" he spoke knowingly. He'd found his mate Ava two years earlier,and Raul a year ago with Mia. They were both always so happy, so settled and finally Peter could have that too.

"Thanks Shawn,Josie, how, how bad is she?" he asked, almost wishing Shawn wouldn't answer.

"Well, from what I've seen so far, not great if I'm being honest, she's lost a lot of blood and the gashes on her stomach and shoulder look like they're getting infected, and if I'm being truthful I don't like the fact that she's not conscious. But I need to have a closer look. Will you trust me?" he asked.

Peter sat for a minute taking in what his brother had said," Can I hold her hand?" he asked embarrassed, cheeks heating up.

Shawn looked at him knowingly," Of course mate, here, sit on this. It'll actually be good. Having contact with you will help to keep her calm," he agreed, pushing a rolling chair with his foot for Pete to sit on."Where'd you find her, what happened?" he asked as he went to a cupboard and pulled a thick blanket out. Normally the wolves didn't need them, but they were kept on hand for the youngsters as a comfort tactic."She's freezing, borderline hyperthermic," he added as he took her temperature gently, Peter watching his every move as he then carefully lay the blanket over her.

"By the south border, I didn't realise it was her at first, I thought someone had left a pile of clothes," Peter admitted feeling guilty,"but when I got closer I saw that it was her and then her scent hit me and I knew. She was pretty reluctant to trust me at first," he added,"Shawn, she said wolves did it."

Shawn shook his head, as he went about hooking her up to different monitors,getting an I.V. with antibiotics in, listening to her chest and checking her pupils with a penlight. "We've had a problem with rogues recently, I'm so sorry Peter, I'll get a party together to deal with them," he added as Peter expected. "Connor," he called out, and it was only then that Peter realised that he'd left the room.

"Yeah?"

"Get Raul up here, I need to talk to him about the rogue problem," he was angry, Shawn was passionately against rogues and what they stood for and everyone knew it.

"I'm going to have to try and wake her up buddy, I need to know what sort of head injury we're dealing with."

Peter nodded, watching as Shawn placed a hand on her sternum and rubbed. He couldn't help the growl that once again slipped his lips. "I'm sorry mate, I wouldn't be doing it unless I had to," he looked genuinely apologetic.

A small whine left Josie's lips, and Peter was on his feet in a matter of seconds looking down at his mate anxiously.

"Josie, can you hear me, if you can hear me, give Peter's hand a squeeze."

Peter nodded, feeling his heart swell with relief as he felt her do as asked.

She opened her eyes, slowly taking everything in, before a panic set in and she tried to sit up."Hey, hey, take it easy," Pete, comforted, gently stopping her from sitting up and hurting herself further.

"You're safe here,do you remember me, I'm Peter?" he asked. She looked up at him with wide frantic eyes before recognition crossed her face and she relaxed into his grip.

"This is Shawn, my brother, he's the one I was telling you about," he added when she looked over warily at Shawn. "He's going to fix you up okay."

"It's nice to meet you Josie," Shawn smiled kindly at the young woman."How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sore,can I have some water?" she asked, voice strained.

"Of course," Shawn grabbed a disposable cup and filled it with water from the tap,holding it out to her.

Shawn went about checking her over,happily reporting that she only had a minor concussion, before numbing her up and carefully sewing her wounds closed. The whole time she clung to Peter like her life depended on it, but he didn't mind. He was happy to be able to provide the comfort.

There was a knock at the door and Raul walked in, not waiting for a response, only stopping as Shawn had at the sight of Josie.

"Who,what?" he looked between the three of them confused.

"This is Josie, she's Peter's mate," Shawn put emphasis on the word. "She was attacked by rogues and I need you to go out and find them, deal with them, do what you have to," Shawn spoke, not saying what both Peter and Raul knew he meant. End them.

Raul nodded, turning for the door, "Congrats little bro, best thing that'll ever happen to you," he smiled before leaving the room.

"Congratulations?" Josie asked looking up at him. Peter sighed, he hadn't wanted to tell her like this, he'd wanted to wait but he also didn't want to lie to her. He looked at Shawn who nodded."Josie,when we were in the field, did you feel anything when I touched your hand, a tingling?" he prompted.

Her eyebrows knit together, before she spoke,"Y-yeah?"

He took her hand again, "You're my mate Josie," he spoke carefully, waiting with baited breath for her response.

She was quiet for a moment, before a soft smile graced her features. Peter thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"I am?" she asked, teary,surprising both the men.

"Please don't cry," Peter spoke quicky. "I promise you, I'll look after you with my life."

She shook her head,"It's not like that,my dad was a wolf, that's how I knew you were a wolf when we met in the clearing. I'm happy," she laughed, leaning into Peter's chest a little more.

Shawn beamed as he took in the cute sight before him,"You're okay for now, I'll leave you two alone," he spoke before excusing himself.

They sat in silence for a while, just happy to be in each other's company, still getting used to the feel of one another, the smell, the presence.

"Thank you," she whispered, eyes half open as she lay abck on Peter's chest.

"For what?" Peter murmured.

"For saving me."

"No Josie, thank you, you saved me," he countered, gently running his hands through her now only damp hair, causing her to shiver. "You are my life now."

[pinkpeonyprincessblog]

You're My Life Now

Dawn had always been Peter's favourite time of day, he couldn't tell why, but there was something so peaceful about it. A time when the world seemed less corrupt,a time when you could just be still, be one with nature.

Nothing about this day had particularly stood out to Peter, there was nothing to suggest as he got ready for his usual early morning perimeter run to suggest that anything out of the ordinary was about to take place.

He'd been doing this run, every morning for almost two years now and nothing had happened yet. As one of the famous Mendes Triplets and Beta alongside his brother Raul to their eldest brother Shawn (Alpha of the infamous Shadowmoon Pack) Peter took his responsibility extremely seriously. He'd always been the sensible one out of the three of them, or at least the most level-headed one.

Shawn was an amazing Alpha,Peter had always admired his ability to lead,his empathy his compassion, but he could also let his emotions rule him, which could cause problems sometimes. Especially if there was a disagreement between the three brothers. Raul on the other hand, was, well, Raul. Fiery, and passionate and a bit of a trouble maker, he liked to stir the pot whenever possible and unfortunately for Peter he always seemed to be the piece keeper,to stop arguments (usually caused by some snide comment that Raul would make in the heat of the moment which he always regretted later).

Whenever anyone spoke of Peter the first things they'd say was that he was extremely loyal,always ready to help and would protect his loved ones with his life. He'd been like this as long as he could remember.

As Peter stood up from tying his shoe laces,putting his glasses on, he noticed the sheeting rain outside his window. It was so heavy that it was actually hitting the window,leaving large water droplets on the once clear glass. He sighed, it wasn't that he minded the rain, it didn't make a difference to him as to whether he got wet or not,he never felt the cold as a wolf anyway. But it would make it harder, more tedious to complete the run, he'd have to pay extra attention to his surroundings,to the sights, smells and sounds.

"I'm headed on my run," Peter called to Shawn and Raul as he past the kitchen where the two of them were making coffee and talking about day ahead.

"Thanks Pete," came Shawn's reply."I'll be in the surgery with Connor later if ya need me," Pete nodded as he made his way out the front door and into the rain.

The first part of the run was pretty easy, flat ground,open, easy to see the fields that sprawled unchecked for miles ahead. He made it in good time, easily nativagsting the familiar territory with no issues.

He was halfway home when he saw object up ahead. At first he couldn't make it out, even with his wolf-enhanced eyesight the sheeting rain was obscuring his view.As he made his way slowly closer,mindful that it might be some sort of a trap from the rogue wolves that were constantly trying to ambush their lands,he spotted the fabric.It was slightly covered by the truck of a tree, only half visible, but Pete was sure, it was definitely fabric from a tee-shirt.

It wasn't uncommon to find old clothes in random places around the lands, wolves would hide them in convenient spots so when they phased back to their human form they were able to dress themselves without hassle. Even Peter did it. But something about the way the shirt was sitting, haphazardly, carelessly, on the ground caught and held Peter's attention. Something told him it wasn't right.

As he made his way slowly closer the wind changed and he was hit with scent, overpowering his senses,causing him to falter momentarily.

It was the sweetest most intoxicating scent he'd ever smelt, like Rosewater and Ivy perfectly blended together. He took his glasses off pocketing them in the hope that not having the rain-covered glass in front of his eyes might allow him to see better.

As he stepped closer still, the clothing moved Peter stilled,watching waiting,a few seconds later it moved again,rolling over. It was then that Peter realised with horror, that this was not just an old disguarded set of clothing,this was a person, and a hybrid wolf at that, half human, half wolf he realised when another gust of wind sent a stronger wave of scent towards him.

He rushed forward no longer fearing an attack, only concerned for the welfare of this person. As he rounded the tree he got his first proper look at the person. It was a young girl. She looked to be about Peter's age. The first thing that struck Peter was not her bedraggled appearance- the way her dirty blonde hair hung around her face, sticking to her forehead and cheeks,not the mud that was caked into almost every part of her, not even the slashed in her faded green sweater that had obviously been made by wolves claws or the blood that was seeping out from the large wound beneath it and the several other cuts and bruises that peppered her small fragile body. No. The first thing that Peter registered was the look of fear, of terror as the girl made eye contact with him.

"D-dont come near me," the girl stuttered, a mixture of cold and fear Peter was sure.

He held his hands up in surrender, "Please don't be scared," he spoke softly, voice almost drowned out by the rain as he made his way closer still, now less than a foot away from the girl- young woman really.

Up close Peter could see the way her mascara was running from her eyelashes,leaving small black smudges under her red bloodshot eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you, I only want to help,I promise. My name is Peter."

She looked at him for a moment, seeming to weigh up what he was saying. "But you're a wolf," she pointed out. She was perceptive, Peter thought.

"Yes, I am," he admitted, watching as her eyebrows knitted together with fear again.

"And the other wolves hurt me," she chocked on a sob, looking away from him.

Peter reached out, placing a finger on her jaw, gently turning her head to look at him again. As soon as he made contact his whole hand began to tingle,and he felt the butterflies that so many other wolves had spoken of so fondly."Mate," he heard his wolf Timbre purr protectively from inside his head. He felt dizzy, slightly intoxicated now and had to shake his head a few times to clear his mind, to keep himself on the task at hand. If he didn't do something soon, he would have no mate to protect.

"But these are my lands- my pack's lands,my older brother Shawn is the Alpha, when he hears about what happend he'll send out a group to go out and deal with them. I promise you you're safe with me, with us," he was almost pleading with her by the end, but he didn't know what else to do.

"Just, please let me get you some help," he added,feeling the sting of tears in his eyes as the thought of what would happen if she didn't go with him ran through his head over and over again.

"How?" she asked. Looking up at Peter with wide eyes. Her eyes were so blue,it was like getting lost in the ocean.

"My brother,Shawn, when he's not working as the Alpha, he's a doctor, he'll be able to help you. I'll take you to him.I promise you'll be safe.

She nodded, water flying off her face, still not seeming entirely convinced, but she relaxed a little, her shoulders loosening just a little,as she reached for Peter's hand, surprising him. He took it feeling the tingles again, more than happy to have any contact with her that she'd allow. He wasn't sure if she was ignoring the feeling or simply in too much pain to notice, either way she said nothing.

"What's your name?" he asked, not breaking eye contact.

"J-Josie," she answered clearly still apprehensive. She watched his every move.

"Okay, it's nice to meet you Josie. Can you show me where you're injuried? I don't want to cause you anymore pain when I lift you," he asked, "apart from the gash on your stomach?"

"My back hurts," she told him, and my head. I feel kinda dizzy," she added, almost as an after thought. Peter didn't know much about medicine, bit what he did know was that it usually wasn't good when someone said their head hurt and they were dizzy. He knew he needed to get her home,out of the rain, to Shawn. They'd only been talking 5 minutes, but already she looked more pale, and slightly drowsy. He had trouble hiding his panic as he spoke again.

"Can I see?" she nodded, so he let go of her hand reluctantly and made his way around so he was behind her, slowly peeling back the layers of fabric to reveal a large oozing gash that ran from her left shoulder to the small of her back. She let out a whimper as the air and rain but it, making Peter's heart squeeze. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt his mate, when one mate hurt the other hurt."I'm so sorry," he apologised when she sniffled.

"Alright,let's get you inside," he murmured, coming back around and squatting so he was in front of her, automatically holding his hand out for her to take again. He could see how tired and scared she was and his heart literally ached."I know you hardly know me, but I think the quickest way to do this will be if I carry you, will you allow me to do that?" he asked softly, patiently waiting for a response.

She nodded again, and he wasted no time in carefully picking her up, trying his best to avoid her injuries.

That didn't stop her from letting out a scream.

"I know, I'm so so sorry," he whispered trying to console her.

She didn't say anything, instead curling into his body further, head resting softly on his shoulder. Peter couldn't help the small smile that pulled at his lips as he thought about the fact that she was already seeming to seek his comfort, his warmth. This was what he'd dreamt of since the day he turned 18 and was old enough to have a mate.

He ran as fast as he could, trying to be careful not to move her too much, and to shelter her from the pouring rain. He knew that if he'd shifted he would have been quicker making it back to the house, but she was terrified, and clearly in no way to be holding onto his back as he ran, somewhere along the way she past out, head rolling unsupported as he ran, making Pete panic more.

After what felt like an age, the house came into site, spurring him on to run harder. He sprinted the last 20 metres,and up the front porch stairs, banging on the door to get someone, anyone's attention. Finally, Connor came to the door.

"The door was open, why didn't you just-" he stopped taking in the unconscious young woman in his arms. "Holy crap," he whistled. "Where'd you find her?" he asked as Peter pushed through the doorway forcing Connor to step sideway to avoid being hit.

"Down by the south border," he answered moving further into the house. "She needs medical attention is Shawn still in the surgery?" he asked as he went to go up the first flight of stairs.

"Here, let me take her, you can get changed and meet us up there," he offered, holding his arms out for him to hand Josie over.

Peter immediately recoiled, baring his teeth,a soft growl eminating from his throat.

Connor stepped back a look of deep shock and confusion on his face. "Peter what the?" he started before he connected the dots, a large smile wiping the look of confusion from his features."Pete, did you, is she?" he asked tripping over his words.

Peter nodded,"But she's a hybrid Con, so we need to get her upstairs," he spoke, wasting no time waiting for his reply. Connor rushed past him so he could open the door to the surgery. The familiar smell of disinfectant hit Peter's nose as they walked in.

"Shawn, we need you right now," Connor called out, as they rushed through the front area and into one of the many consultation rooms.

Peter could hear Shawn making his way through the surgery as he placed Josie down carefully on the table, immediately missing the contact.

"What have we got?" Shawn asked, walking through the door, before stopped short as Connor had minutes before. "Pete, where'd you find her?" he asked grabbing a pair of gloves from the dispenser on the wall and making his way over to the bed. "She's got some nasty injuries," Shawn muttered as he surveyed Josie's body. He went to move her shirt away from her stomach, an automatic response,to make a better judgement, but Peter felt an immense feeling of protectiveness wash over him again at another male, even his brother,who was trying to help, touching his mate.

He couldn't help the growl that slipped out as Shawn pulled back the fabric exposing her stomach and the nasty gash which Josie had shown Peter in the field.

"What's your problem Peter," Shawn laughed, turning to him, "I'm doing my job little bro,"

"You're touching her, you'll hurt her," he snarled very unlike himself. He knew logically that what he was saying wasn't true, but he couldn't help it.

"Peter, as if I'm going to hurt her, I'm literally trying to do the opposite," he stopped watching the way Peter's gaze never left Josie and something clicked. "Peter is she your mate?" he asked beaming.

"Yeah," Pete chocked on the word.

"Congratulations man," Shawn smiled again. "It's a big step finding your mate, what's her name?" he spoke knowingly. He'd found his mate Ava two years earlier,and Raul a year ago with Mia. They were both always so happy, so settled and finally Peter could have that too.

"Thanks Shawn,Josie, how, how bad is she?" he asked, almost wishing Shawn wouldn't answer.

"Well, from what I've seen so far, not great if I'm being honest, she's lost a lot of blood and the gashes on her stomach and shoulder look like they're getting infected, and if I'm being truthful I don't like the fact that she's not conscious. But I need to have a closer look. Will you trust me?" he asked.

Peter sat for a minute taking in what his brother had said," Can I hold her hand?" he asked embarrassed, cheeks heating up.

Shawn looked at him knowingly," Of course mate, here, sit on this. It'll actually be good. Having contact with you will help to keep her calm," he agreed, pushing a rolling chair with his foot for Pete to sit on."Where'd you find her, what happened?" he asked as he went to a cupboard and pulled a thick blanket out. Normally the wolves didn't need them, but they were kept on hand for the youngsters as a comfort tactic."She's freezing, borderline hyperthermic," he added as he took her temperature gently, Peter watching his every move as he then carefully lay the blanket over her.

"By the south border, I didn't realise it was her at first, I thought someone had left a pile of clothes," Peter admitted feeling guilty,"but when I got closer I saw that it was her and then her scent hit me and I knew. She was pretty reluctant to trust me at first," he added,"Shawn, she said wolves did it."

Shawn shook his head, as he went about hooking her up to different monitors,getting an I.V. with antibiotics in, listening to her chest and checking her pupils with a penlight. "We've had a problem with rogues recently, I'm so sorry Peter, I'll get a party together to deal with them," he added as Peter expected. "Connor," he called out, and it was only then that Peter realised that he'd left the room.

"Yeah?"

"Get Raul up here, I need to talk to him about the rogue problem," he was angry, Shawn was passionately against rogues and what they stood for and everyone knew it.

"I'm going to have to try and wake her up buddy, I need to know what sort of head injury we're dealing with."

Peter nodded, watching as Shawn placed a hand on her sternum and rubbed. He couldn't help the growl that once again slipped his lips. "I'm sorry mate, I wouldn't be doing it unless I had to," he looked genuinely apologetic.

A small whine left Josie's lips, and Peter was on his feet in a matter of seconds looking down at his mate anxiously.

"Josie, can you hear me, if you can hear me, give Peter's hand a squeeze."

Peter nodded, feeling his heart swell with relief as he felt her do as asked.

She opened her eyes, slowly taking everything in, before a panic set in and she tried to sit up."Hey, hey, take it easy," Pete, comforted, gently stopping her from sitting up and hurting herself further.

"You're safe here,do you remember me, I'm Peter?" he asked. She looked up at him with wide frantic eyes before recognition crossed her face and she relaxed into his grip.

"This is Shawn, my brother, he's the one I was telling you about," he added when she looked over warily at Shawn. "He's going to fix you up okay."

"It's nice to meet you Josie," Shawn smiled kindly at the young woman."How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sore,can I have some water?" she asked, voice strained.

"Of course," Shawn grabbed a disposable cup and filled it with water from the tap,holding it out to her.

Shawn went about checking her over,happily reporting that she only had a minor concussion, before numbing her up and carefully sewing her wounds closed. The whole time she clung to Peter like her life depended on it, but he didn't mind. He was happy to be able to provide the comfort.

There was a knock at the door and Raul walked in, not waiting for a response, only stopping as Shawn had at the sight of Josie.

"Who,what?" he looked between the three of them confused.

"This is Josie, she's Peter's mate," Shawn put emphasis on the word. "She was attacked by rogues and I need you to go out and find them, deal with them, do what you have to," Shawn spoke, not saying what both Peter and Raul knew he meant. End them.

Raul nodded, turning for the door, "Congrats little bro, best thing that'll ever happen to you," he smiled before leaving the room.

"Congratulations?" Josie asked looking up at him. Peter sighed, he hadn't wanted to tell her like this, he'd wanted to wait but he also didn't want to lie to her. He looked at Shawn who nodded."Josie,when we were in the field, did you feel anything when I touched your hand, a tingling?" he prompted.

Her eyebrows knit together, before she spoke,"Y-yeah?"

He took her hand again, "You're my mate Josie," he spoke carefully, waiting with baited breath for her response.

She was quiet for a moment, before a soft smile graced her features. Peter thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"I am?" she asked, teary,surprising both the men.

"Please don't cry," Peter spoke quicky. "I promise you, I'll look after you with my life."

She shook her head,"It's not like that,my dad was a wolf, that's how I knew you were a wolf when we met in the clearing. I'm happy," she laughed, leaning into Peter's chest a little more.

Shawn beamed as he took in the cute sight before him,"You're okay for now, I'll leave you two alone," he spoke before excusing himself.

They sat in silence for a while, just happy to be in each other's company, still getting used to the feel of one another, the smell, the presence.

"Thank you," she whispered, eyes half open as she lay abck on Peter's chest.

"For what?" Peter murmured.

"For saving me."

"No Josie, thank you, you saved me," he countered, gently running his hands through her now only damp hair, causing her to shiver. "You are my life now."

[thesimpanions]

⭐️ N E W  V I D E O ⭐️ The Sims 4 | MAKING OVER MY SUBSCRIBERS SIMS #5! | CAS & Lookbook + CC Links

Hey there! Today I'm making two beautiful sims created by my subscribers! I also finally created a discord server for us all to join and talk about not just the sims but also a bunch of other things! Use this link if you want to join: https://discord.gg/UQUDAFV

▶️https://youtu.be/6XYNkTY4cFo

CC Links

SIM 1 (ARIELLE)

GENERAL Skinblend: https://www.patreon.com/posts/38472438 Face Overlay: https://heihu.tumblr.com/post/168522486651/i-did-a-little-spring-cleaning-of-my-blog-and Eyes: https://baieyu.tumblr.com/post/179216040640/still-feel-eyes-previews-heavily-insp-by Catchlight: https://simulationcowboy.tumblr.com/post/183759640852/inspired-by-okyio-and-the-eyes-in-her-edits Eyebags: https://ratboysims.tumblr.com/post/188237560445/kiwi-eyebags-updated-1110-2019-by-ratboysims Nose Shader: https://simfileshare.net/download/977930/ Freckles: https://joviean.tumblr.com/post/186573920181/maple-freckles Blush: https://squeamishsims.tumblr.com/post/185846308452/booboo-blush-by-squeamishsims-so-ive-tried-so Hair 1: https://grimcookies.com/post/614903696818683904/deliliah-hair-your-sims-inner-icon-is-gonna Hair 2: https://dogsill.tumblr.com/post/621917028322803712/margot-buns-i-love-margot-robbie-this-hair-is Hair 3: https://grimcookies.com/post/167010061675/aubrey-a-remake-of-my-kimberly-bun-with Edges: https://setsuki.tumblr.com/post/178307334864/full-scalp-with-edges-skin-detail-version-1-6

MAKE UP Eyebrows: https://adiec.tumblr.com/post/185708180915/eyebrow-set-1-some-cute-lil-eyebrows-i-made-in Lashes: http://kijiko-catfood.com/3d-lashes-version2/ Eyeshadow: https://crypticsim.tumblr.com/post/613974349191561216/the-blossom-collection-this-collection-is-a-collab Eyeliner: https://crypticsim.tumblr.com/post/190594545470/the-lotus-collection-inspired-by-the-lotus-flower Eyeliner: https://caelhinn.tumblr.com/post/190809835077/heart-shaped-wing-an-eyeliner-by-caelhinn Liner: https://crypticsim.tumblr.com/post/180694444347/passionfruit-liner-the-passionfruit-liner-is-a Blush: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-makeup-female-blush/title/biscuit-blush/id/1453076/ Lipstick: https://sagittariahx.tumblr.com/post/178538243045/50-shades-of-nude-lipstick-download-sfs-buy-me Nails: https://simlaughlove.tumblr.com/post/163327412088/sll-rainbownails

EVERYDAY Top: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-clothing-female-teenadultelder-everyday/title/trillyke--paper-plane-t-shirt-%28part-1%29/id/1471674/ Bottom: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/189104784520/gerda-winter-cc-pack-base-game-compatible-female Shoes: https://sssvitlans.tumblr.com/post/159295739339/heypixels-low-top-all-star-conversion-by Piercing: https://pickypikachu.tumblr.com/post/130419022043/celebrating-10000-followers-here-is-part-2-of-my Choker: https://grimcookies.com/post/186093894930/its-here-this-cc-set-is-the-conclusion-of-months Bracelet: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-accessories-female-bracelets/title/s-club-ll-ts4-hand-catenary-n01%28f%29/id/1307432/

FORMAL Dress: https://grimcookies.com/post/612432610906554368/grimcookies-x-deligracy-2-deli-i-have-once-again Shoes: https://www.patreon.com/posts/35228475 Earrings: https://nach0sims.tumblr.com/post/187201760442/sutton-earrings-basically-the-earrings-that-my-mom Bracelet: https://veranka-s4cc.tumblr.com/post/142800259050/claire-necklace-bracelets-i-did-some-simple

ACTIVE Top: https://mousysims.tumblr.com/post/182712684887/bgc-custom-thumbnail-disabled-for-random-18 Bottom: https://grimcookies.com/post/186093894930/its-here-this-cc-set-is-the-conclusion-of-months Shoes: https://tunayegit.tumblr.com/post/616484713367060480/chonk-sneakers-so-i-didnt-like-how-the-sneakers

SLEEP Top: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-clothing-female-teenadultelder-sleepwear/title/trillyke--dreams-come-true-pajama-shirt/id/1485054/ Bottom: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-clothing-female-teenadultelder-sleepwear/title/trillyke--dreams-come-true-pajama-shorts/id/1485056/ Socks: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-clothing-female-teenadultelder-everyday/title/trillyke-run-away-socks/id/1469854/

PARTY Top: https://savvysweet.tumblr.com/post/187251375353/clothes-dump-hey-yall-i-decided-to-make-some Bottom: https://captainmrbored.tumblr.com/post/188628810356/classic-edge-skirt-simblreen-gift-call Shoes: https://tunayegit.tumblr.com/post/187577862556/better-than-mosc-boots-hoi-guyss-welcome-to-my Socks: https://love4sims4.tumblr.com/post/161466199623/ceiuu-fishnet-socks-please-forgive-the-bad

SWIM Swimsuit: https://gvbesims.tumblr.com/post/185126083949/inakhs-80s-swimsuit-recolors-i-absolutely Sunglasses: https://casteru.tumblr.com/post/181406722897/cat-eye-sunglasses-tou

HOT WEATHER Dress: https://moontrait.tumblr.com/post/189960301998/10k-followers-gift-moontrait-layered-dress Shoes: https://www.patreon.com/posts/mmsims-dr-molly-25334773 Earrings: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-accessories-female-earrings/title/venus-earrings/id/1444335/

COLD WEATHER Top: https://www.patreon.com/posts/female-autumn-cc-29988371 Bottom: https://tajsiwel.tumblr.com/post/168013107850/erin-28-swatches-custom-thumbnail-disallowed-for Shoes: https://madlensims.tumblr.com/post/182216831210/madlen-roberto-boots-high-quality-leather-boots Hat: https://down-in-simsland.tumblr.com/post/141566884905/leave-your-hat-on-casual-hat-hi-its-been-a

SIM 2 (JADA)

GENERAL Skin Overlay: https://nesurii.tumblr.com/post/190606984166/lunaria-a-default-non-default-skin-this-was Hair: https://sleepingsims.tumblr.com/post/621543129293750272/bria-braids-i-wanted-some-braids-that-werent Edges: https://setsuki.tumblr.com/post/178360831744/full-scalp-with-edges-100-followers-gift-7-8 Eyes: https://baieyu.tumblr.com/post/179216040640/still-feel-eyes-previews-heavily-insp-by Catchlight: https://simulationcowboy.tumblr.com/post/183759640852/inspired-by-okyio-and-the-eyes-in-her-edits Eyebags: https://ratboysims.tumblr.com/post/188237560445/kiwi-eyebags-updated-1110-2019-by-ratboysims Nosemask: https://simfileshare.net/download/977930/ Face Shine: https://nesurii.tumblr.com/post/182508085171/amaryllis

MAKE UP Eyebrows: https://adiec.tumblr.com/post/185708180915/eyebrow-set-1-some-cute-lil-eyebrows-i-made-in Lashes: http://kijiko-catfood.com/3d-lashes-version2/ Eyeliner: https://caelhinn.tumblr.com/post/190809835077/heart-shaped-wing-an-eyeliner-by-caelhinn Eyeshadow: https://crypticsim.tumblr.com/post/613974349191561216/the-blossom-collection-this-collection-is-a-collab Lipstick: https://stretchskeleton.tumblr.com/post/188423483268/finally-back-with-some-cc-download-under-the-cut Blush: https://simandy.tumblr.com/post/613202637416988672/its-not-a-hiatus-come-back-if-i-dont-make-a-new Nails: https://simlaughlove.tumblr.com/post/163327412088/sll-rainbownails

EVERYDAY Top: https://aharris00britney.tumblr.com/post/620123767733141504/eco-lifestyle-add-ons Bottom: https://emmibouquet.tumblr.com/post/186212027867/summer-time-shorts-i-have-seen-many-versions-of Shoes: https://majorpanicgamer.tumblr.com/post/159625104726/pxelbox-converse-by-pxelbox-some-simple Necklace: https://enriques4.tumblr.com/post/618844358245023744/egirl-collection-by-enriques4-isjao-so-were

FORMAL Dress: https://sulsulhun.tumblr.com/post/614473277807689728/sulsulhuns-dana-dress-hi-everyone-simfileshare Shoes: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-shoes-female-teenadultelder/title/madlen-jasmine-shoes/id/1376912/

ACTIVE Top: https://dear-solar.tumblr.com/post/187076819275/the-chuuuuu-collab-this-is-a-korean-beauty-and Bottom: https://grimcookies.com/post/186093894930/its-here-this-cc-set-is-the-conclusion-of-months Shoes: https://mmsims.tumblr.com/post/611005735890993152/s4cc-mmsims-cb-thunder-sneakers-download

SLEEP Top: https://kimoanasims.tumblr.com/post/179496231902/simblreen-treat-3-reggie-top-srry-for-being-so Bottom: https://grimcookies.com/post/621067688626864128/softe-a-collection-of-intimates-ive-been Glasses: https://www.patreon.com/posts/remove-makeup-29396235

PARTY Top & Bottom: https://ilkup.tumblr.com/post/174829580382/magnolia-magnolia-shirt-16-patterned-swatches-16 Shoes: https://sims4nexus.tumblr.com/post/184857327879/caroline-sandals-for-ladies-of-all-ages-go-to

SWIM Top: https://kumikya.tumblr.com/post/187408460326/heatwave-bikini-this-is-my-third-and-final-bikini Bottom: https://www.renorasims.com/product-page/sulani-swimwear-collection

HOT WEATHER Jumpsuit: https://sentate.tumblr.com/springsummer2019 Shoes: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-shoes-female-teenadultelder/title/madlen-marius-shoes/id/1407602/ Rings: https://christopher067.tumblr.com/post/617650784711098368/g-l-i-m-m-e-r-r-i-n-g-s-hello-today-i-have

COLD WEATHER Top: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/189104784520/gerda-winter-cc-pack-base-game-compatible-female Bottom: https://www.patreon.com/posts/wide-leg-jeans-29395817 Shoes: https://simtone.tumblr.com/post/179065116035/buckle-boots-10-swatches-more-cas-pictures

[connordavidscamera]

Falling in Love | Connor Brashier

A/n: this is a repost from my Shawn account!! This is my piece and is not stolen.

Summary: you just can’t believe how in love you are with your fiancé.

Warnings: fluff

Word count: 1.8k

***

Staring at my fiancé from across the room, I still can’t help but think I’m dreaming. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to keep this man interested long enough for him to even want to marry me. But here we are a month into our engagement, at our party with all our friends and family, and I still think I should wake up any second now.

I knew I was a goner the first time he kissed me - when the whole world stopped existing until we pulled away for the much needed oxygen to find its way back to our lungs. It was almost too perfect, the way his lips curved against mine, the way his hands cradled my face like that was its rightful place - since that day, it has been. I’d never understood what people meant when they said sparks flew when they kissed someone. But I understood that day.

Our relationship was never rushed. We took everything slow and steady (even though people had their opinions about how long it took us to go public on his insta, or how long it took for us to say I love you. Except, hi, that’s no one’s goddamn business, but go off, I guess.) And I’ll admit, it did take longer than expected for either of us to say those three words to each other - eight months, actually. But you could feel the love in the relationship even without them. It was in the way he always picked up the phone when I called, no matter the timezone. It showed when he would come back from tour and he’d come to my apartment just to fall asleep on my chest because my heart beat lulled him to sleep. And how his hands always found their way to lock with mine whether we’re walking to the car, or dancing in a crowded club, or eating dinner and we’re sitting on opposite ends of the table, so he reaches over and it’s like that cutesy couple thing you see in all the movies. We didn’t need the words to feel them.

And just looking at him and his nonchalant attitude, no one would think that he had a romantic side. And they definitely wouldn’t guess that for our first six dates, before he finally asked me to be his girlfriend, he sent me flowers the next day. And then when we started actually dating, little love notes would just pop up everywhere. Like when he slept over and would wake up before me, I’d find a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that would say something like “Your smile is the best part of my day.” And there have been a few instances where I wasn’t feeling my greatest and he just showed up hours later - seeing as these moments only seemed to happen when he was off on tour - and he’d cuddle me on the couch while we watched shitty rom-coms until I felt better. And it may not be a big deal to anyone else, but when he talks to me, or listens to me talk, his eyes are always trained on me, and I think it’s kinda cute.

And he’s the most caring person. Not just with me, either. He looks after his own. His brother got in a fight one time and Connor was there instantly to patch up his wounds and give him a place to stay so he wouldn’t have to face their mom. Another time Alessia fell coming off the stage and he sprinted to get her ice for her swollen ankle. He made sure to check on her every thirty minutes or so, even though he was working and couldn’t do much for her then. And he is always, always there when I’m sick to my stomach, or sick of life. He’s there drawing hearts and smiley faces over the problem area with his finger, whether it be my stomach, or back, or my mind. He takes care of his own and that to me says everything about our future.

And this boy, Jesus Christ, he is so creative. I’ve never known anyone whose mind works like his. He can see a plain brick wall and immediately his brain clicks and it’s suddenly turned into an aesthetic Shawn’s next shoot. And he doesn’t just focus on faces, he goes and he gets the beads of sweat on Shawn’s hairline, and the rings on his fingers. And he edits his videos in such a way that you can’t possibly watch it only once and feel like you’ve seen everything. It’s fast paced and beautiful and I could watch him edit for hours on end and never get bored. The way he layers photos on top of videos and how he knows just  the right time to make the music swell in a scene. He’s talented and I hope he knows I think so.

He’s so random too. I never know what to expect with him. We can lay in bed while he’s stroking my hair, pulling me to sleep when he asks, “What if cows screamed when you milked them?” Or, “You know, Popeye ate a lot of spinach, but I don’t think that’s the real reason he was so strong. He had to be taking steroids.” One time he came into the room at 3 in the morning, woke me up and asked, “When you were a kid, did you have those suction cup ball things that you would throw at a wall or a window and they’d just stay there?”

“Connor, I’m trying to sleep.”

“I know, but this is important.”

“Why?”

“Because I just bought a dozen of those and a dozen of those sticky slappy hand things.”

And he’s spontaneous (not just in the things he buys off Amazon at 3 AM). There have been many occasions where he has called me up and told me to pack an overnight bag because he wanted to go to the beach or Disney or because he found this bookshop in Nevada that he thinks I’ll enjoy. And then of course there are the more “extravagant” trips he likes to take at random points in the year. We spent last Christmas in the Bahamas because he wanted to wear shorts on Christmas day and he couldn’t do that if we were going to a family Christmas party apparently. Another time we flew to New York because I said I was craving something from this one restaurant we went to last time we were there. He doesn’t wait a second. If I mention wanting something, we’re gone in hours, or it’s already ordered and on it’s way. There is no way to fully know what his next move is gonna be and that keeps the relationship exciting.

And he sees things so vividly, remembering them in soft light, sometimes though in overexposure. He tells stories- AMAZING stories - through the lens of his camera. He puts everything into perspective in such a way that you can’t picture it any other way. You can’t see Shawn on stage and not immediately think of the thousands of girls and women crying because they’re in the same room as him and he’s there and he’s beautiful. And you can’t see him running to hug his fans without seeing the pure elation from the ones he touches. Connor gives you the pieces to make one whole and leaves nothing out, not even once. He never strays from the real story he’s telling, although he might go into a few others while doing so,he always finds his way back.

And despite his resting scowl, he’s not a fighter. He puts off this “I dont give a fuck” type of vibe, but he’s a softy. Until someone says something they shouldn’t. It’s only happened twice. When we were out with friends and I was getting us a couple waters from the bar. This man, who was way too close to me, tried to buy me a drink, his hand playing with the straps of my dress. I was uncomfortable, but I couldn’t find Connor in the crowded space and I had nowhere to escape to when he started getting even more touchy. And then I heard it, the unmistakable sound of skin hitting skin. “Come on, we’re going home.” He said roughly into my ear and he pulled me away, out of the club. Only for him to be Connor again, my Connor. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? God, I oughta kill him. Can I get you something?” I just shook my head and wrapped my arms around him. He let me. Of course he did.

The other time was early on in the relationship. We were hanging out with his brother and some of his friends from school. I don’t really know what happened, but one of Dylan’s friends said something about me. Connor told me later it had to do with him having me in his bed while he did awfully dirty things to me. Con went off on the younger boy, his face red with anger. He looked like he would blow steam out of his ears at any second. Dylan and I had to pull him out of the room, and let’s just say, he and I don’t go anywhere near that guy anymore.

“You’ve been staring at me for a while now, sweetheart.” Connor said, suddenly at my side, his voice low in my ear. “You’re giving me bedroom eyes. Can’t take care of you with all these people here.”

I hum, finding his fingers to lace mine through. “Hmm… that’s never stopped you before.”

“No,” he presses a gentle kiss to the side of my neck. “But we are kind of hosting this party. So it would be rude to just disappear for 20 minutes.”

“Who said it would take that long?” I giggle, connecting our lips in a quick peck.

He hums into my skin, “Later, kid. When I have you all to myself and we can be as loud as we need to be.”

I nod, biting my lip. “We could always kick them out early.”

“Patience, y/n. Want me to take care of you?”

I nod desperately. “Please.”

“Then you gotta be good for me. Because the guys are staring at us right now and neither of us will hear the end of it if I take you right now.”

I whine. “Okay… but I want everyone out in an hour.”

He kisses my lips one more time before pulling away from me. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I love you,” I say just loud enough for him to hear. 

“I love you, sweetheart.” He throws me a wink before disappearing in the sea of people that fill our home.

***

I hope you enjoyed (again)! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[pbandjesse]

I feel like today was a lost day but I know it actually wasnt. It just felt like a weird day. And I just had a guy I used to work with at ships come on my facebook and make me upset. But I unfriended him so whatever. He's just the type to like. Keep going. Like Im half expecting an email from him. Lets home not. 

I slept okay last night. And I woke up around 9 feeling okay. I just laid in bed for a long time playing on my phone. But eventually I did get up and I did make the bed and I did go get a shower and washed my hair. Made me feel a lot better about myself.

I sat with James and he read and then went to go do laundry. Somehow he fills our entire laundry and I have like 4 things in there. I dont understand how he makes so much laundry but he is working in a kitchen so it makes some sense. 

We had a nice morning. I had some of the leftover pizza. But I was unsettled. I changed my outfit like 5 times. I just couldnt get comfortable. James called the bike shop and my bike was ready to pick up. So it was decided we would walk there and then go to the BMA because they had a bunch of goats eating the overgrown hill. A program they have called "Goats on the Slope" incredible. 

It was chilly today. Like surprisingly so. I knew it was going to be a little rainy so I brought a raincoat but I ended up wearing it because I was cold more than anything. But it was a nice walk.

We ran into Mr Will and he said he's going to come by tomorrow to check out a weird thing in our bathroom closet. It wasnt to bad of a walk. I thought we had to go a differnt way but James showed me a secret staircase and we were there quickly. 

We waited outside, as no one is allowed in the shop. There were two other people there. The one got his son's bike quickly. The other was a woman and they came out and said they had bad news, they had realized one of the spokes on her bike wasnt fixed correctly. And she was like oh thank god I thought you were going to say you threw my bike away. That made me laugh. 

My bike was ready though! I havent ridden my bike since basically feburary. So I was a little nervous about my stamina but it ended up being fine. Well not as bad as it could have been.

We left and biked up to the museum. I had to stop once because my breaks were rubbing and I was like fighting my bike. But we sorted it out and that was fine. I did scream at a driver who decided it didnt matter that I had a green light. But soon enough we made it to the park. 

I was very out of breath though. I was overheated and shaking. I was uncomfortable. I had to sit down. 

James took our bikes and I went and sat on the stairs for a few minutes and drank some water. But man. I was uncomfortable. It was scary hyperventilating like that. I do not do well with hills. 

But once I was calmed down We walked over to see the goats. They were very cute. I hope to go back before they leave and I hope they are all eating the brush and having a great time. Only 2 goats were out of their little trailer. But I was glad we still went. 

James still had an hour until he had to be at work. I asked to go down to the bottom of the hill, I wanted to see how much brush the goats needed to eat. And so we did that. We got in a little argument about our ballots. Because I feel overwhelmed by it and I have asked for help but he just keeps telling me to fill it out and that isnt helpful! But finally I just said that this conversation was not helpful and we would table it. I didnt want to be upset. 

We sat on a wall and I enjoyed looking at the park. We talked for a while. And James said we had time to walk him to work if we left then. He would even have time to get a sandwich and a coffee. So off we went. 

It was a nice walk. Long but wasnt bad. I like that part of town. It is amazing to me how different the different neighborhoods are here. Its super redlined and generationally influenced. And Hopkins is a huge influence on the neighborhoods they occupy. And there is a lot of nature is that part of town. 

It was a nice walk. And soon we were in Hampden. I held our bikes while he went in Royal Farms and I people watched for a while. I thought about going to get a thai tea but the idea of going inside a cafe didnt feel good. I dont know why. Maybe next time. 

I said goodbye to James once we got to the restaurant. And off I went. I was happy to bike. I had a podcast. I was in a good mood. 

I followed the jones falls trail and its such a nice little path by the water. It reminds me of penny pack. I ended up parking my bike w Ihen I saw this bridge (James called it Hippy bridge when I texted him about it) that the fence was tore down on and was covered in graffiti. I climbed down the hill and sat on it high above the water. It was neat.  I hope I can get myself to go on more adventures like that. 

I took my time getting home. I stopped at a bench before a big hill. Took my time. Got home in one piece. 

I took a break when I got back here. I was overheated from the biking. But once I cooled down I felt a lot better. I chilled for a while. Laid with sweetP and read. But eventually I decided I wanted to go for a drive. 

I saw hi to Kimberly in the hall. And then drove out to Target. Lots of terrible drivers. It was rush hour I guess but people were just so mad they had to wait and kept trying to go around people? Obnoxious. I just enjoyed the drive. 

I went to target. Enjoyed wandering around. Picked up a few things. Got poptarts that are cinnamon pretzel flavored. So fancy. 

After I finished there I went to the art store to buy spray paint. To paint my bike. But I knew that was going to be a production. 

I had five guys. It was fine. But I have had five guys way to often lately. So I think I will be taking a break from that. But I sat in the car and ate and watched the sun set. Saw someone throw a cup out of their window. Terrible trashy behavior. I hate people who litter. Especially from their car. You are going to go somewhere with a trash can!! What is wrong with you!!!

I headed home after that. And then the sun was down and I was like. Very Unmotivated. But then someone upset me on facebook so to distract myself I started stripping the paint off my bike. 

This took forever. And honestly I could do more. But I worked on it for 2 hours. I used a blade and there are so many layers. My bike is so fat. But it was fun doing the work. I hope to paint it tomorrow but I think its going to have weird lumps. Well see how it goes. 

I have been hanging out since I finished cleaning up all the paint and trash. I just washed my face and had one of those poptarts. I think I am going to drink water and wait for James. I am very much ready for sleep. 

I hope you all have a good rest of the night. Take care of yourselves. Goodngiht. 

[panickedforcefield]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

Fill out & Repost ♥ This meme definitely favors Canons more, but I hope OC's still can make it somehow work with their own lore and Lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

Tagged by: @ifthearmorfits , @polyhexianchicken

Tagging: @raysofsinshine @eloquent-music @symphonicdemise @omicrontheicequeen @wild-at-spark @rebel-heart-icy-spark @knockoutsapprentice @kups-war-stories and anyone who wants to it^^

MY MUSE IS.   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

* is your character popular in the fandom? YES/NO

* is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  WELL… / NO / IDK. (I mean, I really like the Bot)

* is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

* are they underrated?  YES / NO.

* were they relevant to the main story?  YES (Sorta??) / NO. (I am so sad about that. He deserved better)

* were they relevant to the main character?  YES (In a way. He was kind of a turning point) / NO

* are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (No idea)

* how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

That is quite hard to determine. I try to follow canon up to the point of where Kaon killed him. But the more I play and write him, the more new aspects he gets, the more things he experiences and the more off-canon he gets. But thats Character development.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.)

This Truck can carry you anywhere you want to go! Just dont let him run out of fuel and Highgrade, don't abuse him and you have one of the loyalest souls in the Universe on your side. This scared and scarred Bot is build like a brick wall and even has some special abilities. I am not talking about his Magna Clamps, which lets him magnetize himself to different surfaces, I am not talking about his Outlier Ability to generate Forcefields!! I am talking about his empathy! This is one, maybe naive, Bot that can think about others viewpoints and where they come from, he is thinking about what he can do about it. This steady Bot can hold so much fuel, you won't believe it! He even always has some juice packs with him, that he offers others. He is the perfect guy to take with you for any occassions. Not bad looking, not as dumb as others perceive him to be and with a strive to show himself to others!

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

Even if you think you know him, you don't. He learned that people judge what they see, so he tries to be perfect n their eyes, helpful and polite. Its a mask. He seldomly lets someone get past behind those masks anymore. He is very unsure of himself, very easily guided along with pretty words. But if he likes you and calls you a friend even behind his mask, he would lay down everything for you, which is a nice point for him but an even bigger one against him. He is a drunk, his frame needing way more fuel than other mechs of the same build.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

To be honest. The first time I saw Teebs in any comic was in the Wrecker-series. And he was just a guy breaking into a situation and smiling that warm smile of his at a friend in need. There was no judgement and no pity there, just a very happy and warm smile. This was the moment I wanted to see more of him. And then I kept on reading. And I was getting more and more desperate to see more about Trailbreaker/Trailcutter. And the more I saw and read up on, the more my heart sank. This was a bot struggling with himself, but smiling for others, being there for others. Someone who wants so depseratly to change and even making true friends along the way after all the shit he had to went through, only to be cut down way before his time, way before anyone could breach all of his walls. And I was crying for him. My heart broken. He deserved so much more, I kept thinking.

It took maybe a few days and a few talks with a friend before I found the courage to really do it, to RP him.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION

The Teebs in itself is keeping my attention. The many different layers his char gets the more i play him. And the different people I interact with. Gosh, people. I couldn't do it without you. I love the reactions, I love all the little snippets, I love rereading threads or just mentions. It keeps me going and it keeps my love up. Its awesome.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

* do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

* do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  

* do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES (Very very much so.) / NO.

* are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. (I dont know. I wish I could say yes, but I think im making to many mistakes. But I try to get better.)

* are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (Most of the time)

* are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. (No comment)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

If it's constructive. Constructive Criticism is all well and can only get me to better my writing or to face things I didnt think about before. If its just flames, I delete it right away. Really, just comming in to tell me they hate my portrayal is nothing you do. Flames are used to roast my marshmallows, enough said.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

YES!!! Yes, I love those! I can't get enough of those, because really, you can only wrap your brain around issues and questions and HC for so long before you get stuck. Those questions keep my brain and imagination in the loop and I have so much fun to think about those, to come up with reasonings.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

Eh, I mean. Normally people tell me why they think different. There can be quite some good discussions stemming from that, but mostly, we are humans with different ways of life and different experiences. So naturally we will see some things differently. My Muse is following my own way though, so it all makes sense to me and fits the puzzle in my head.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

I would ask myself why they would read what I wrirte then. They can just unfollow me if they hate what I do. You can't cater to every whim. You can't play nice with everyone. But really, if you hate my Muse, why coming back to my Blog then? You have your own opinion and thats all great. So, it really doesnt face me to be honest. As long as it doesnt blow up to hate against me or all people liking what I do.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

I hope so, but I know or imagine that I am not. I have my problems, my work and time zones to work through. But I dont want to let those get in the way of nice interactions. I am a scatterbrain, I sometimes forget threads. Its not because I dont want to continue, but because my RL is getting really stressy or something is eating my brain capacity. I love my time on tumblr and try to be open minded and nice to everyone. I hope that gets across^^ So, all in all, I want to be an easygoing Mun. And I love others getting in contact with me about everything.

[moosheeran]

Title:  Life’s A Dance

Author: @moosheeran

Rating:  PG 13, idk there is cursing 

Author’s Note: Ya’ll dont understand how long it has been since I sat down and been creative. I have way too many ideas and my my mind is a huge mess. Hopefully ya’ll can follow me lol. Plus, I hate editing. Enjoy! Oh and this title is a country song that can be found here

What a beautiful day for a wedding! 

Lost in thoughts of a beautiful wedding, the first looks and first kisses as official husband and wife, the first dance and the loud cheers filled her head. The way her wedding dress would hug her body and the way he would look at her as she walked to him, oh happy thoughts they were, or at least they should’ve been. A hint of jealousy sat in her heart as she watched her best friend get ready for her wedding day. That was to be her but the universe seen to have other plans for her, which wasn’t such a shocking surprise for her. Slipping into the bridesmaids' gown, she could only imagine it was her wedding dress. That was long gone and she was slowly accepting that fact. Self confidence was no longer something she had but there was no way she back out of this role. Layla was her best friend, she had been with her through all her ups and downs. The least she could do was be supportive and be super happy for her best friend to be marrying the love of her life. Deep down, she was more worried about seeing someone she was trying to hate so very much. 

Ed’s eyes scanned the crowded room of people as the celebrations of a wedding went on. There was too much on his mind, too many emotions in his heart that the only way he knew how to deal with his sorrows. The liquor no longer burned as he downed a few drinks. For one, the crowd wasn’t his cup of tea, but he knew if he was feeling this uneasy there was someone else in the room feeling the same thing. Deeps breaths and positive thoughts wasn’t helping him in the situation anymore so the drinks came faster and faster. If you can’t think your problems away, you drink them away instead. Mid-drink, his eyes landed on the most beautiful person in the room and it wasn’t the bride. After all this time, his heart hammered at his chest just seeing her smile as she moved gracefully through the crowd. Greeting people like old friends and sharing hugs and smiles, Ed was frozen in admiration of her. The thoughts of the good times flooded his memories and for a second the whole world faded away. 

“Ed…” her voice softly pulled him away from good times. Hello back to reality and hearing the strand in her voice as she spoke to him. “Hope you’ve been doing well.”

“Yeah…..” what could he say to her? Oh life has been lovely, hopefully I didn’t crash your world. “How have you been?” 

“Peachy.” A deep breath followed her words, her pose falling a tad as she glanced around. 

“Eliza, I need to talk to you.” 

“Here is not the place to talk,” another deep breath followed her words. It was taking everything for now to fall apart. “One day maybe but not here or soon.” That meant conversation over. As she took a gracefully step away, she turned just ever so slightly. Shaking her head, she walked away from him as if he was a mere acquaintance, instead of the person she spent the last few years with, the person all her wedding plans included. 

As the night went on, Ed’s drinking got heavier, he didn’t even care that he was slipping into old habits. Shit, this was his only way he could actually cope with being in the same room with someone who hated him so very much. Did he blame her? No. At the moment, he hated himself too. As the drinking got heavier, the liquor got harder. There was absolutely no turning back. 

Hugging and goodbyes started to go around, well wishes and happy cheers went out to the newleys as the made their grand exit. As people started to drift on home, Eliza couldn’t help her heart for hurting when her sight fell on a very intoxicated Ed. With a deep breath, she decided to be the bigger person. 

“Come on,” she stated sternly as she grabbed his hand. 

“Where?” 

“To you hotel.” Gathering some of her flowing dress in her free hand, she slowly started to drag him out of the building. 

“I can go alone.” Ed words slurred as he attempted to argue. “I’m grown.”

“Yeah yeah. Whatever, I’m not letting you go alone drunk.”

“Oh you care?” Ed words felt like a blow to her heart. Did she care? 

“Unfortunately...yes.” Both fell quiet after her confession. The odd awkward tension between the two was stronger than ever. Not only had it been five months since they last saw each other, Eliza just openly admitted to both Ed and herself she still actually cared.  

Eliza underestimated exactly how hard it was going to be getting a drunken Ed into a hotel. A lot of giggling came from Ed as she got him out of the car, even more when she searched the suit pockets for his room key. It took everything she had not to break down in giggles with him, she had to be mad at him. She just had too.

The long layer of her gown in hand, arms wrapped around a drunken ginger, his weight all on her, they started a few long journey to the front desk. First thing she knew, Ed didn’t use his real name for hotel rooms, hell he changed it every time. Secondly, Ed was so wasted he probably couldn’t even remember anything but that he was drunk. The first desk clerk was sweet and smiling as the pair walked up. Ed still giggling like a two year old. Eliza couldn’t help but roll her eyes. 

“Is there any way I could get this room number,” Eliza asked sweetly. Ed leaning on her more and more. Handing the key card to the clerk, Eliza held her breath as she watched her eyes scanned her standing there. 

“Normally no….But…” the clerk handed her a paper with the key. “He’s looking like you hung the moon, please don’t make me regret this.”

“No need to worry. I just need to get him to bed. Thank you so much.” 

By the time they made it to the room, Eliza was thanking the gods. Between the long day, the emotional turmoil, being in heels, and now dragging a person that was dead wait, she just wanted to sit and breath. Dropping Ed on the bed, she couldn’t help but take a deep breath. Sitting on the bed, she felt Ed touch her arm as she bent down to take her heels off. Just ignored it she kept telling herself.  Feet free of the heels, she felt a tad better before turning her attention back to Ed who was half asleep. 

“Come on, sit up,” she commanded standing in front of him. Very slowly Ed sat up, eyes swiping over her. Very carefully she tugged his suit jacket off.  Ed’s eyes stayed glued on her as her fingers slowly undone the button down shirt. Mumbling to take deep breaths to herself, Eliza helped him out his shirt. 

“I could…” Ed slurred some as tried to keep his beating heart under control. “I got it.” Bending over to undo his shoes, a giggled filled his ears as he started to lose his balance. 

“Just let me do it,” she shook her head as she sat on the floor. Untying the shoes, she slide them off along with his socks. “Can you undo your trousers?” Ed just nodded, because some reason looking at Eliza from that angle did something to him. 

Rather it was drunken thoughts or thoughts he had sober, her looking up at him with the soft sweet eyes just did something to him. In no time those thoughts were gone as soon as she stood up again. His mind went to a place it hadn’t been in awhile. A place he swore he couldn’t go back to, the place that craved Eliza like she was the air he needed to breath. It wasn’t until he felt her hand him a bottle of water and place pills in his hand that he was brought to reality. 

“Just stay…” Ed managed to mumbled as she took whatever he was given. 

“I’ll see…” Eliza took the bottle away from him, pushing him to lay down on the bed. “Just get some sleep, okay.”

Sitting on the floor, gown and all, she dug through the mess Ed called a packed suitcase. A part of her couldn’t leave him alone for the night, what if something happened she kept asking herself. Shaking her head, she started to fold the clothes as she tried to find something to sleep in. The memories of packing his suitcase tours flooded her mind. There was many times she sat on the floor packing it because he couldn’t organize it to save his life. T-shirt, check. As she kept looking something caught her eye at the bottom. Pulling it out, there was a picture she thought she would never see again. There stood a younger Ed and Eliza, smiles on their faces, she remembered that day. The day her dreams finally started to come true and tears threaten to fall fast. Why did he still have that? Why did he have it with him? It had been months, five to be exact, he probably had moved on. At least that's what she told herself. Everything good and bad hit her at once and she couldn’t even answer when she heard Ed say her name. He moved, he had too. He was famous. He was rich. He could have anyone he wanted.

“I love you Eliza…” Ed’s words were just a whisper. Yet, it sounded like a shout in her head. He didn’t love her anymore. He was just drunk. But a drunk tongue speaks words a sober mind is afraid to say. 

No answer. She couldn’t answer. Hurrying to put his things back up, Eliza grabbed the t-shirt and into the bathroom she went. The door slamming harder than she wanted to. At that moment, the flood of tears came. In five months, she didn’t really cry. It took so much of her to convince herself that he didn’t love her. That he was over her. That she was over him. At that moment, she couldn’t fool herself. The tattooed lad had all over heart, no matter how long it’s been, she loved him. Loved him more than life. But she couldn’t. It was over. All over. Story complete. The End.

The soft knock on the door startled her out her thoughts, a course it was Ed. For one they were in his hotel room and for two, he had a certain knock for when she was upset. How many times he knocked on the studio door so soft because she was aggravated or just overwhelmed. That memory brought a smile to her face. The old times were great. 

“Go back to bed, I’m just changing.” Eliza slowly stripped out her dress, pulling his t-shirt over her head. 

“You gonna stay,” his slurred words hit her ears.

“Yes, just go back to bed please.” Heavy footsteps echoed her ears as she started to take her hair down. You can do this, she told herself. You slept in the bed with him before. No feelings. It's just sleeping. Just to make sure he’s going to be okay. That’s all. By the time she crawled into bed, Ed was out. Her emotions screamed to kiss him, tell him goodnight and snuggle up to him. Instead, she turned her back to him and laid as close to the edge as she could. No emotions. No touching. Just sleep. That’s all.

Morning came in a blur to Ed, as his eyes opened he had no clue how he got to the hotel or even in bed. All he could remember was the wedding ceremony, the celebration after not too much. Eliza was there. He remembered seeing the pain in her eyes when they landed on him, but after that he remembers nothing but her walking away from him. Suddenly, movement next to him froze him. What did he do? Slowly turning over he was faced with waves of dark hair spread out across the pillow, face tucked under the covers. Holy shit, he was a fucking idiot. This was the same thing that got him in the mess five months before. The same mess that made him lose Eliza. With a deep breath, a courage he didn’t think he had, he moved the covers gently from the female next to him, his heart stopped. There was some random girl in his bed, it was the girl he would do anything to have back. It had been too many days that he hadn’t woken up beside her. Not much of a morning person, if Eliza was next to him, he would face the morning with a smile. Then questions started to fly, why was she in bed with him? What happened? Was she drunk? Would she regret whatever happened? What actually happened? With questions swirling in his head, he sat up quickly, not only did his head start spinning from questions and the effects of the alcohol from the night before, Eliza’s voice seem to clear the fog. 

“Lay back down,” her voice heavy with sleep as she pulled him back to the mattress. As much as he wanted to resist her demand, his body gave into her request. 

“What happened last night,” Ed questions looking at Eliza. She didn’t seem to mind being in bed next to him, so it wasn’t anything bad, so he thought.

“You got drunk,” Eliza nuzzled her face back into the pillow.

“Why are you here?”

“You got drunk. Did you not hear me?” 

“Nothing happen?”

“No!” Eliza snapped quickly at the question. Both were taken back from the quickness and sharpness of her answer. “Listen Ed, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all.” Sitting up, she stretched ever so slightly and Ed couldn’t help but to scan her body. It had been so long. Mentally, psychically, and emotionally he craved her, just the slightest touch from her, just a smile even. “I���m going to head out. I’ll get your clothes back to you somehow.” 

Ed wanted to scream no, just stay for two more minutes. Lay down and act like they were a normal couple. What he would give for her to just love him again, hell he would probably sell his soul to his devil at this point. There was so many thoughts that past through his head, so many things he wanted to say, but the only thing he could do was get herself together, gather he things and walk out. His heart screamed at his mind to tell her to come back. Just come back to him and love him like she once did. He just wanted her to take all his demons away once again, he wanted his dream life once again. Yes, his life was amazing and he had everything going for him. That meant nothing if Eliza wasn’t with him. She was his world, she was the love of his life. Stupidly, he ruined that months ago. 

Three weeks. 

It took three long weeks for Eliza to finally agree to talk to Ed. There was so many pep talks she had given herself up until that day. Standing at the front door of the house she once called home, well those pep talked no longer helped. Ed had called or texted her almost every day asking to talk, always an excuse she had. Finally, he didn’t ask, he told her they needed to talk. Not a bone or emotion could disagree with him. Five months. It had been five months and didn’t talk about what happened. It was like the story ended in a flash. No one had answers, no one knew the answers, no one knew what really happened. The End. That was all.

Jumping at the knock on the knock on the door, Ed rushed to answer it. His whole body was on edge, never did he demand Eliza to do anything. Enough was enough and he had to talk to her. There was so much to say that was left unsaid. Letting Eliza in, which was odd opening the door to her home, Ed could sense the uneasiness on her. In his mind she was the bravest girl in the world. From the start of her life to pushing for her dreams, Ed admired everything about her. Did she know that? Did she know what happen was a stupid mistake? 

“Would you like anything,” Ed questioned out of awkwardness and politeness. What was he supposed to say? This was horrible. The idea of talking seem grand, until she was in front of him.

“I just why Ed,” Eliza blurted out. That’s all she could say that all she wanted to know. When Ed looked down and just shrugged his shoulders a whole different set of emotions hit her. “My life never stopped because you broke my heart you know.”

“Eliza, I’m sorry. It was a mistake.” Ed managed to mumble out and Eliza jumped to her feet.

“I don’t want to hear sorry for fuck sakes! I don’t want to hear it was a mistake! What did I do? Was I that horrible of a partner!? Did you not want to get married anymore? What was it!?” Eliza’s voice louder which each word that came out. Any composure she had was gone. Out the window. 

“It has nothing to do with you Eliza, why would you think that?” Ed stood up attempting to touch her arm. Shrugging his hands away from her she just stared daggers at him.

“Do you know what kind of hell you put me through?” Eliza’s eyes were dark with rage, a hint of hurt. Ed just shook his head no, what could he say. “My life got turned upside down. I was homeless again. Do you know how shitty that was going back to those days? Lalya let me stay there but she was about to get married.”

“I never kicked you out…”

“Just shut up. I never got to tell you how I felt about this.” Pointing her finger at Ed she took a deep breath. “Do you know not only did I have to go through a horrible breakup, I still had to be there for my girls. I had to make sure everything was peachy. That their dances was going to be on point and I had their mothers staring down my back every turn.” Another deep breath followed. “Two weeks after everything happened I found out I was pregnant.” Ed froze and tears threaten Eliza’s eyes. “And I didn’t know how to tell you. Layla told me I needed to tell you but I didn’t want you to be with me just because of a baby.”

“Eliza…”

“Just hush please Ed.” Eliza went to trying to compose herself, but this wasn’t a dance competition, this was real life. “My girls went to competition in London and something wasn’t right.” Now all the strength she had, it was gone. “One of the mum’s found me after she noticed I missed all the routine and it was almost time for results “ Another deep breath. Ed knew what was going to follow. “After a lot of convincing on her part, I went to the ER and…” another deep breath. “I lost our baby. And for awhile I was okay if I was going to be a single parent if it meant having a part of you. Then the rest of my world shattered and I never got to cry about it. All I had to blame was myself. Me Ed, it was my fault.” Tears were flowing down her face like a waterfall, her heart breaking over the fact all over again, Ed couldn’t say anything.

“It wasn’t your fault,” the need to comfort overpowered giving her space. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close as she cried into his chest. “Eliza none of this is your fault. You understand me?” Kissing the top of her head, he held her tighter. “Don’t ever blame yourself for my cheating or the baby. Okay?” Nodding her head some, she pulled herself slowly from his embrace. 

“I just want to hate you. I really do.”

“I was slipping up again.” Ed admitted looking at the floor. “The drinking was getting heavier while I was out, a few pills, and just living it up. I can’t even tell you her name or even the color of her hair. The regret was there as soon as I knew what I did.” Cheating wasn’t a thought he had. Eliza was his world but when it came out he didn’t like. He told her he did it. Straight up. Well that ended in her taking her ring off and throwing it at it, being told he was a fucking idiot and she hated him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about the drinking?” 

“Felt like a failure.” Shrugging his shoulders, he sat back down. “You had everything going for you. Didn’t want you to worry. Think less of me.”

“Ed…” he couldn’t bring his eyes to look up at her. “Look at me, now” she demanded before she was dealing in front of him. “I was going to be your wife. I had been to hell and back with you already. Why?” 

“Don’t know.”

“Do you know how much I want to hate you?” Eliza question and Ed shook his head yes. “I mean it. Do you know how much I want to hate you? To call you a mistake and say you are nothing to me and I never loved you?” Heart breaking into a million tiny pieces Ed looked down again. A course she thought nothing of him anymore. Hell, he didn’t blame her. Both rose from the bottom together to achieve their dreams. “As much as I want to...Ed I could never hate you. As much as I tell myself I don’t love you anymore, I know I’m lying.”

“You don’t hate me?” Ed could finally meet her eyes once again, his heart felt like it was jumping in joy.

“You told me you loved me last night you know.”

“I do.”

“I know. But I can’t do it Ed. I can’t go through another heartbreak.” Eliza took a deep breath standing up. “I don’t want to plan our wedding anymore.”

“Eliza…” she placed a finger over his lips to hush him for a moment.

“Ed, just please,” why did she feel like she was making the right and wrong choice at the same time. “Just know, I’ll always love you.” Kissing his cheek, she turned on her heels as quickly as possible and left. Every part of her wants to throw herself into his arms and start over. There was no doubt in her mind, she still wanted that life she had always dreamt about with the only man she loved. Right now, well right now she said her peace and she needed to breath. Let her heart race for awhile. 

-----------------------HISTORY-------------------------

Fairy tales always show guy get girls and they live happily ever after. Eliza’s parents thought that apparently, but when she was born she was tossed out like trash. For years she went from home to home, never a steady one. Rather it was they changed their minds or she just wasn’t the child she thought she was going to be. It wasn’t until she was a teenager an older lady took her in. It was the first time she had unconditional love. Someone who loved her no matter one and someone who pushed her to follow her dream of dance.  At the age of seventeen she lost the only person that was like a mother to her, well she found herself homeless. Homeless, broke, and no family, she took odd and end jobs just to make enough money to have food and things she needed. If it wasn’t working at the pub, it was small dance classes to kids who couldn’t afford it and to even being a waitress as small cafes. Money was money no matter how she made it. To be honest, it was that or sleep on the streets. Well the streets was not a place she wanted to be again. 

Eliza and Ed never thought they would be anything more than friends when they first met. First met at a pub. Ed was quickly drawn to her upbeat attitude and graceful air around her. After a night of drinking, well he didn’t think they would ever see each other again. Then a few weeks later, eating breakfast, he was face to face with the smiling bartender from the pub that laughed at his corny jokes and told him not to take life seriously. After that they form a friendship like no other. It was easy going. There was no pressure around each other. Ed could talk for hours about his goals and what he wanted to accomplish. Never once did she complain or blow him off, Eliza always told him to follow his heart. If you have it in your heart, you are going to achieve it. Slowly, their close friendship turned into a relationship. That was a no brainer to everyone that knew them, those two were always together. If no one knew better, they would’ve swore they had been dating forever. 

Eliza was just a poor girl, she had nothing to offer besides her love and support. Technically, she didn’t even have a stable home. That didn’t bother Ed one bit. Even though he didn’t have an issue with it, his family hated that. First time Eliza met them, his mother swore after she left that she was only trying to use Ed to get money. A wanna be dancer with no money didn’t have anything to offer Ed in his family’s mind. Ed was just a sucker and she was sweet enough to lure him in and along with her trap. At one point his family banned her from even going over for holidays and special events. From day one, Ed knew he was in love with her. Against everyone’s wishes, Ed found them a small place and asked Eliza to move in and he never looked back. The place was tiny, not fancy, and not even new, but it was home and that was all Eliza ever wanted. At that point, she gave up on her dream and focus on Ed’s. Whatever she could, she did. When he started small tours, she supported him as much as she could along with working three jobs to make sure he didn’t carry all of the burden. Part of Ed’s heart was broken when Eliza gave up on her career with dance. That was one of his favorite parts about her. The way she seems to float on air no matter what style of dance she did, the way her smile stayed on her face when she taught the smaller kids to dance and just seeing her happy was the best part. After a whole lot of convincing, Ed talked her into applying to a job of a dance coach. Hell, Eliza thought she didn’t have a chance in hell. With a call back for an interview, she was shocked but didn’t get her hopes up. Before long she was coaching a dance team and was the best feeling in the world. 

Rough times and good times, Eliza and Ed’s relationship never wavered. Ed hit a hard time with his career, when it emotional was too much and drinking and drugs seem to help him cope a lot. Most would’ve just gave up and turned their backs, Eliza knew what it was like not to have anyone, her love for Ed was stronger than anything. Through hell and back, Eliza stood by his side, worked through the demons and got him back to the Ed she always knew and loved. In a total shocker one day, Ed was down on one knee asking her to marry him. Well...she couldn’t say anything but yes. 

“You couldn’t be a man enough and just fucking tell me!” Eliza threw her hands up before throwing the tabloid at Ed. Front cover, ED SHEERAN MODEL BEHAVIOR printed with a picture of him and some girl being way too cozy.

“Eliza just chill.” Ed stated so out of normal self.

“Chill,” Eliza stopped the pacing she hadn’t even realize she had started. “When Ed? Just when did this happen?”  

“Two weeks or so?”

“Two weeks or so.” Eliza repeated as took a deep breath. “So was this around the time you were telling me you were tired and just going to bed?”

“It's not a big deal!” Ed snapped. Eliza’s eyes grew in size as she just looked at him. “I mean….”

“No, it's not a big deal. Sure.” Her fingers twisted the ring that had sat on her ring finger for years. “No big deal…”

“Wait that’s not what I meant.”

“No, you are right. You cheating isn’t a big deal if you aren’t engaged any more.” 

“What are you talking about?” Ed voice trembled as the words left his mouth. What was Eliza saying, what was she thinking.

“No big deal.” Eliza forced a smile on her face as she slid her engagement ring off her fingers, her heart broke even more. “Maybe you could give it to her since she doesn’t think it's wrong to sleep with a taken man.” 

“Eliza no.” Ed just stared at the ring as the woman he loved and vowed to spend his life with placed it in his hand. 

“I’ll get my stuff later or something,” Eliza was trying so hard not to cry. Trying so hard for her voice not to break but it was getting harder and harder by the second and she refused to cry in front of him.

“This is your home tho,” Ed couldn’t wrap his head around what was going on. Sleeping with some random girl wasn’t his best idea, it wasn’t one he remembered but about and he knew Eliza was going to be hurt. Never, never did he think she would leave. The hell they had been through was so much more than this. Yet, she was throwing in the towel.

“It doesn’t feel like it any more,” that was the last thing she said to him as she walked out the door. Tears fell as soon as she stepped out of the house, how did life go from great to horrible? Ed couldn’t even bring himself to try to follow her, he knew once she was done, she was done. His heart hurt, he knew it was always his fault, what hurt the most was not Eliza walking out, it was the hurt and pain in her eyes. The pain he caused her. A pain he didn’t know how to take away. 

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: So… Proposals, Huh?

Author: @thatsrightdollface

For: @namsuuuuuuu

Rating/Warnings: Somewhere between G and T, again.  :P

Prompt: komaeda and hinata are back in jabberwock island, watching the sunset on the beach (or somewhere else ill leave that up to you) just chatting and then komaeda randomly says he wants to marry the hope sleeping inside of hinata and hinata is like tf are u saying now komaeda i dont have time for ur bs (the plot twist is that they do get married)

Author’s Notes:  :D  Gift three out of three for you!!!  I truly hope you’ve had fun with them…  Happy Komahina exchange, and I’m sorry for anything I got weird!  Thank you.  :’)  This one is about 2,000 words!

It was easy to forget this version of Jabberwock Island wasn’t real. The sand was just as warm under Hajime Hinata’s feet as it would’ve been otherwise – just as likely to be filled with spiny buried shells, too, and bits of sea glass like opaque chess pieces with all their features worn away.  Knights without battles left to fight; kings without crowns worked into the makeshift bone of their tiny heads.   Sunlight catching over the ocean even stung Hinata’s eyes just as badly as the real thing did, on that boat where he lived now with all the other former Remnants of Despair.  He had thought it was funny when Nagito Komaeda asked to come back here, into the simulation where they’d met.  But hey, a lot of what Komaeda said or wanted seemed kinda funny to Hinata, and so he’d said screw it.  Why not?

Jabberwock Island had been meant as such a healing place, on that pseudo-class trip so long ago.  Too many of Hinata’s memories from that time were sour, though, obviously.   Focused on murder games, Ultimate Despair and some dumb robotic bear.  The smell of blood and sea-salt.   Class trials.  The Final Dead Room.  All that.  But not every memory was awful, Hinata supposed.  It would’ve been hard to forget how warm and comfortable things were with Komaeda at first, there, before he started in on his toxic, murder-y Hope shtick.  Before Hinata learned who all of them really were, or had been, or could give into one more time.

It wasn’t that Hinata felt a burning need to build sandcastles on Jabberwock Island again – especially given the way bizarre things always seemed to happen to Komaeda’s sandcastles, like the one that got swallowed by a huge groaning whale or the one that sank into a mysteriously-opened underground crypt they’d decided not to explore thanks to all the bloodstains.  Komaeda being the former Ultimate Lucky Student was just like that.  But Hinata hadn’t been exactly opposed to riding that Jabberwock Island carousel one more time, either.  Komaeda’d rested his cheek against the fancy mechanical horse’s hand bar thing and closed his eyes for a second, then, listening to the music.

Hinata and Komaeda were the only two running the Jabberwock Island simulation, just then, and the world seemed so quiet all around without their classmates dueling one another over snack food or screaming about the fearsome might of demonic hamsters.  That was okay, though.  Komaeda hated loud places, and Hinata knew sometimes the Remnants’ boat got to be a little much for him.  They were in pretty cramped quarters nowadays, after all, and Komaeda’s bunk was just across from Nekomaru Nidai’s.  The Ultimate Team Manager wasn’t known for a subdued daily routine, not by a long stretch, and Komaeda kept having to patch up his newly-splintered wall before seagulls flew in and attempted to nest in his hair, or a wave swept up and drenched everything he owned in sticky ocean water.  Hinata had asked Komaeda to trade bunks a few times by now, and Komaeda always glanced over him slowly, then.  Calculating.  He had something to say about that business, for sure, but he hadn’t actually said it yet.

The sun was setting over Jabberwock Island, now, and Hinata was leaning back in one of those beach chairs he and his classmates hadn’t gotten to relax in much back during their murder game days.  The sky looked sweet and syrupy citrus, like a pack of popsicles melting all over the ocean.  Once, that dripping red-pink strawberry sun would’ve made Hinata think about bleeding, first.  Probably because he’d seen so many of his friends bleeding into the sand.  Now, Hinata tried to decide if Komaeda would’ve rather had a lime or grapefruit popsicle, if he went to grab some.  Komaeda didn’t really like sweet things, but it was ridiculously hot on the islands even as nighttime came.  Maybe they’d have to get back to the boat soon, actually.  Make sure nobody’d finally sunk the damn thing.

Komaeda’s hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail low on his neck – he was burying his own legs in the sand, thoughtfully.  Slowly.  It probably meant something that Hinata’s first thought on the matter had been “Huh, maybe Komaeda’s making himself a fish tail or something?” instead of “Looks like Komaeda’s burying himself alive.”

“All I’m saying is I think I could’ve had that boss myself if I’d picked different armor,” Hinata said.  They were talking about this video game they’d been playing with Sonia Nevermind lately, back in the bowels of the Remnants of Despair boat.  It was a game that’d used to belong to Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer – it was a game Hinata was determined to finish up even if it was super hard and took him a million years.  Hinata was playing as a Rogue that’d turned out to be frustratingly difficult to level up, the Ultimate Princess was playing a Berserker with tons of expensive weaponry and Komaeda was playing a Paladin he’d somehow managed to corrupt pretty early into the game with insanely powerful dark magic.  It was an easy conversation.  Hinata had been over this before, and he knew just as well as any of them that his character definitely couldn’t have taken on this particular boss all alone.  Sonia’s and Komaeda’s characters probably could’ve done it, though, so he had to hold his own, didn’t he?

“Oh, I’m sure,” Komaeda said, clearly unconvinced.  He patted down the sand over his ankles.  Shot Hinata a soft smile.  “I’d offer you my armor – but it’s cursed, you know.  Pretty unlucky…  I can only wear cursed armor, after all…”  That was one of the conditions of Komaeda’s dark magic thing, in the game.  He was communing with ancient eldritch creatures living behind these spooky black mirrors you could find everywhere, too.  That was gonna be an important plot thing, Hinata just knew it.

“I could try it out, at least,” Hinata said.  “Hey…  Before we head home, do you want a lime or a grapefruit popsicle?”

“Lime,” said Komaeda.  He wiggled his toes under their layers of sand.  Tipped his head over so it rested against Hinata’s arm for just the barest second.  And then he said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “I want to marry the hope sleeping inside of you, Hinata.  Did you know that?”

“What…  Uh.  What the hell are you saying?” Hinata asked.  He tensed up.  He thought about jerking away, but of course that would mean Komaeda tipped sidewise, if he didn’t pull back fast enough.  Komaeda would knock his chin on the beach chair armrest and probably end up with a chipped tooth or something.  Komaeda had injured more bones than Hinata’d even known existed, apparently.  The former Ultimate Lucky Student would laugh another accident off without seeming too surprised, even as he bled more bright salty blood into the sands of that super-fake, too-familiar Jabberwock Island.  “We don’t have time for any of your…  You know.  We can’t mess around like this.  C’mon.  We have to get back to the boat soon.”

“Oh, you’re right,” Komaeda said.

…

Hinata and Komaeda’s wedding was a fairly small one, in part because the Remnants of Despair were still technically on the run from international law.  Sure it was a little unconventional to get married inside a simulation, but they made it work.  The whole “simulation” bit made it a little easier for some of their more distant friends to attend, too.  Komaeda just about screamed, clapping his mechanical prosthetic hand over his mouth when he saw the actual Ultimate Hope in the audience…  And Hinata walked up the aisle to meet him holding Chiaki Nanami’s arm.  Well.  A simulated computer-program version of Chiaki Nanami, but if anyone was going to give him away nowadays it would’ve had to be her, right?  They still hadn’t beaten that particular game she’d left behind, with all those black mirrors and Hinata’s incredibly difficult-to-play Rogue, but they were getting there.  Things would come together in time…  Or else Sonia would just get fed up and kick all the enemy characters’ asses on her own, one of these days.

Hinata couldn’t honestly believe how everything was coming together around him, actually, but there it was all the same.  When he’d given Komaeda a ring a few weeks after their conversation on the beach, Komaeda had opened his mouth like he had so many things to say.   Monologues about Hope and worthiness, about his own ruinous luck – exclamations about the potential he’d always seen inside Hinata, like a sacred stone burning with light from deep under a mountain.  Something. But he’d just melted into Hinata’s arms, actually.  He’d hidden his face in the crook of Hinata’s neck and murmured, “…I thought you decided all that was just some of my bullshit again…”

The ring had words engraved along the inside of its thin white-gold band.  Hinata would probably be in debt to the Ultimate Affluent Progeny for all time, after borrowing enough to have it made.

Nanami had done up Hinata’s tie for him, just before the wedding, telling him they’d come a long way.  His hands were shaking too much to do it up himself, which was weird because, you know, this was Komaeda waiting at the end of the aisle.  This was Hinata’s Komaeda, who he knew he didn’t have to be nervous around by now.   Komaeda whose hair he’d pulled out of his face while he was seasick, and who hadn’t known what to say when he read what Hinata engraved on the inside of his ring.  Komaeda who actually hadn’t worn that ring yet, not even once.  The Former Ultimate Lucky Student was sure it would end up exploded or melted off his hand, somehow, because of who he’d always been.  And y’know, that might’ve been true, but Hinata had bought the thing for him anyway.  Hinata knew what he was getting into, here.

He’d caught just a glimpse of Komaeda in a pale cream suit, standing with his hands behind his back under a canopy hanging with shells and flowers, strung with soft lights.  Komaeda was standing so still, as if that could keep his luck from wrecking the moment just before it came.  He was waiting with his eyes closed, a peaceful smile on his face, ready to see Hinata whenever Hinata decided he was ready for him. Their friends were sitting in rows before them, on either side of a pathway lined with spiny seashells Gundham Tanaka had gotten his army of ferocious hamsters to dig out of the sand for them just that morning.   The ocean sparkled at Komaeda’s back, unknowable and huge, full of monsters and sunken ships and – well, actually…  Maybe not.  This was an artificial ocean, after all.  It existed for this moment on the sand.   So easy to forget that, huh?

Ibuki Mioda, the Ultimate Musician, played something uncharacteristically slow and gentle on her guitar as Hinata started up the aisle.  She sang a new song Hinata hadn’t heard before, about impossible luck, about proposals made that didn’t expect to be believed, about her friends who had believed in a future even when she couldn’t. Komaeda shifted when that music started up, blinking his eyes open against the glare of the sun.  When he saw Hinata watching him, he choked out a laugh.  Komaeda laughed when he was nervous, Hinata knew.

He mouthed the words, “We’re okay.  Breathe,” as he walked, and Komaeda took a deep, shaky breath.

This was all just a few minutes before that huge wave came, taking away most of the canopy and a whole table full of food the Ultimate Chef had prepared for everybody, but…  Hey.  Hinata and Komaeda each got in most of their vows before any of that, at least.  There you go.

[thechocoboos]

Hi hon I know you have a specific list of ships that you write for but.. I was wondering if you would be willing to write headcanons for Igdyn please? Maybe even possible family headcanons too? I understand if you don't want to write that though if you can't, thank you! :3

I have never considered Igdyn before but this ask sent me into a hc frenzy, thank u. Wrote these about 20 mins after I got this ask and didn’t post until now, it was too inspiring ;-;

Hope u enjoy!!!!

Igdyn Headcanons

These two. i fuckin. swear to god, are the sassiest, most passive aggressive bfs to ever walk the earth

They sass each other nonstop 24/7, with teasing smiles and narrowed, amused eyes

But despite their snark, they are so head over heels that it’s ridiculous

Ardyn's terrible fashion sense is one of Iggys fave things to tease him about

Meanwhile, Ardyn's fave thing to tease Ignis about is Iggy's… interesting… hair styling choice

When Ignis is nervous about his workload, ardyn whisks him away on a day out and about to get ignis' mind off it, if it becomes clear that iggy needs it

The kind of couple that budgets together

"Hmm, darling, I think we should spend a little less on food this month… otherwise we'll never be able to pay off that credit card…"

"I beg your pardon? And buy frozen vegetables and subpar, on sale meat from the grocery store instead of the butcher???"

"I was suggesting something more like… Grade A meat instead of Grade AAAAA."

"Oh for goodness--fine. Only for you."

Ardyn tries to outdo Iggy's cooking just so Ignis can know what it's like to have his bf cook a delicious meal for him

He can never do better than Ignis' cooking but he comes close

When Ignis gets nervous or fidgety, he automatically starts adjusting Ardyn's many layers clothing

Ardyn ofc has everything the way he likes it already, but he knows it makes Iggy feel better so he lets him

Ardyn loves to style and adjust Ignis' hair, and Ignis loves to run his hands through Ardyn's hair in the evenings

They bitch about their jobs to each other and understand each other's complaints 100%

Worry about each other SO FUCKING MUCH but dont show it

they're both so C U L T U R E D

with ignis' education and ardyn's knowledge of OLD SHIT bc he's an old shit himself, they both debate and argue about classical literature, old paintings, and other such fine art like crazy

they like to have dates at the art museum and debate about the meaning of various art pieces

Ignis swears this one 2000 year old farm painting is about this one man's daughter, but Ardyn swears to the astrals that its actually about the artist’s sexuality

"Ignis, dear, I love you, but I MET that man. Never in my life have I seen a more closeted artist!"

"But this young farmhand in the painting--"

"Was his secret lover."

They both love ebony. And fight over it, all the time. Who's that last can going to? Probably not either of them with how intense their fight over it is

Coffee lovers. They set aside half an hour every evening to sit together, talk, and drink a new kind of coffee

It's their favorite part of the day

Their voices are soft and one hand is touching the other's as they luxuriously take long, lingering sips of coffee

No one knows how they got together but after seeing them interact, they all realize that it was the perfect match

The other bros all hated Ardyn when Iggy and Ardyn first got together, but over time they got used to him

Except Noctis, he's still not the biggest fan

Ardyn makes the coffee in the morning and Iggy makes breakfast

They love holding hands

Sometimes they wear each other's gloves. It's usually on accident but Ardyn likes to do it on purpose

Ardyn is a shameless flirt who blatantly whispers rather bold things in Ignis' ear in public, and it makes Ignis blush to high heavens

Iggy will always clear his throat afterwards and say, "Now, that was highly unnecessary, wasn't it?" (Ardyn disagrees)

Meanwhile, every time Ignis remotely does something to silently show his love, whether in public or in private, Ardyn is the one to blush and become embarrassed

There's more of an intimacy with it that catches Ardyn off guard all the time (especially if it's a soft kiss, a lingering touch, or Ignis initiating hand holding)

They accidentally got each other identical christmas presents two years in a row (last year it was matching pajamas)

Speaking of matching pajamas

This is the most luxurious couple you will ever meet

They're so classy that 200 year old dead pianists can't even compete

They have afternoon ebony from teacups with tiny cucumber sandwiches

Ardyn once bought Ignis one of those high quality, insulated coffee cups to keep Ignis’ beverages cold/hot at work (it’s Iggy’s fave gift from Ardyn)

Ardyn also makes Ignis’ lunch. He’s not too bad at cooking, and Ignis loves having someone take care of him for once

They lowkey nag each other but there’s no malice or anger behind it, just the teasing edge that they both love

Whenever Ignis forgets his lunch, Ardyn comes down to the Citadel and does his best to embarrass Ignis when returning lunch

He’ll always stop at the front desk and talk to the secretary about how his forgetful boyfriend once again left lunch sitting on their kitchen table

“I swear to the Astrals, that man would forget his head if it wasn’t attached to the rest of him--”

And then when he finds Ignis, he makes sure Iggy is in the middle of some kind of conference or dealing with people when he runs up and yells, “Iggy! Darling, you forgot your lunch! I made sure to pack extra smiley face cookies; I know how much you love them!” And just lays a massive kiss on Ignis

Of course, that’s all for show. Ardyn really brought his own lunch and is going to eat with Ignis on those days

It embarrassed Ignis the first couple times, but now he just goes with it. “Oh--those wonderful cookies with the pink frosting? Love, you shouldn’t have, I was saving the rest of those for your birthday, afterall, pink is your favorite color!”

Sometimes, Ignis forgets his lunch on purpose, just to goof off with Ardyn at work and have lunch with him (Ardyn is well aware of it, too)

They propose to each other at the same time

And ofc, it’s done dramatically and snarkily on both of their parts

When Ardyn went to propose, Iggy was already pulling out his own ring

They were both so close to tears that evening

[asianpower5]

Ok so its been 24 hours since I saw the movie and I wanted to write down my thoughts, most of it is for me so I can go back and read how I felt about it years from now, its going to be very long and wordy but im just writing as the thoughts come and now worrying about grammar or anything, that includes timeline, so my thoughts may come to me out of order . I’m going to put it all under read more so i dont spoil it for any of you lovely people

So I got to the theater like 40 minutes early because I just couldnt contain myself and I wanted to get my perfect seat. Wore my new HTTYD shirt and brought my toothless plushie from build a bear (another little girl had the same idea she was so cute)

but now onto the movie

they threw me for a loop I was totally expecting a “this is berk’” speech as the very opening, not the raid, but honestly this movie is about change so I liked the change. But I still got my fix, because as they flew back to Berk my only thought was “this is berk”, AND THEN HE SAID THE THING YES.

Loved the scene in the great forge, it just really showed how big Berk is and how many vikings there are, and seeing them all happy and enjoying a meal together just warmed my heart, plus Gobber teasing Astrid and Hiccup about marriage and Valka beating Spitelout at arm wrestling haha.

Tuffnut was comedic gold, talking about his “beard” and giving hiccup bro pep talks. And when he said the earth was round? and the stars? I almost died laughing. 

Grimmel  being a complete jerk and drugging those poor dragons with their own venom.

Fetch with Hiccup’s leg?? and him dropping it in Astrid’s lap and then being over protective of the leg when Stormfly came near it? Then Hiccup tickling Astrid, what did we do to deserve such a cute Hiccstrid scene?

Toothless meeting the light fury was even better than I thought, he was such a dork and had no idea what to do, then looking to Hiccup for advice about how to flirt oh gosh silly boy.

Im calling Hiccup out on his saying Astrid isnt a romantic, I mean Hiccup is totally the hopeless romantic, but Astrid in my mind is totally a secret romantic, at least when it comes to her own relationship.

Also Toothless practicing his mating dancing by watching his shadow and studying the naddars as they danced was so adorable.

Ok ngl I actually thought Grimmel had shot Toothless in the house, and I was so happy to see that is was part of their plan and that he had back up (sorry Fishlegs I love you and you took one for the team so good on you!). Why I was surprised by this idk, I know these characters enough to know that they would pull something like that. BUT HICCUP TELLING GRIMMEL OFF AND CALLING HE OUT FOR SITTING IN STOICKS CHAIR, YES BOY. That just made the feeling of Berk being attacked and flames burning everywhere hurt so much more.

The meeting with all of Berk? Just wow, I mean first off I love that Hiccup had his whole gang up there with him, just goes to show that he really trusts them and values them as being part of the team. Astrid sticking up for my boy and Tuff just going “IM WITH HIM WHO ELSE” A plus team work, I loved the support. Not to mention the fact that Hiccup was able to convince them all to pack up what little they could carry and leave. I mean we know from the first movie that vikings are stubborn, but they are also capable of change. The fact that they left their home of 7 generations and probably left some import things they couldnt carry with them was such an amazing gesture. And Berk really is where ever the vikings are, it is not just a single island. It really hurt to see them leave the island, the place where it all started, but the fact that they all stuck together really shows how strong of a bond they have as a people. 

Light fury knocking Hiccup off Toothless, such a sassy girl I love her. I mean come on Toothless was obviously gunna save him. Also the sheeps wanting to be dragons is something I never new I needed, especially after seeing how afraid of dragons they used to be (I mean the dragons did hunt them, but im all here for them cosplaying as their favorite dragons) 

I JUST REMEMBERED I NEVER TALKED ABOUT FLASHBACKS SO LETS DO THAT NOW. First of little toddler Hiccup??? THE FRICKIN CUTEST THING EVER OK. I know there was a line in the trailer that wasnt in the movie the one where Stoick says something like “I believe its your destiny to find the hidden world so dragons and vikings no longer need to fight” but I wasnt sad that they didnt keep this line. I think it makes more sense to have what they did, Stoick talking about finding the hidden world so they could protect Berk from it. I mean this took place when they were still fighting dragons, so yea the line about destiny could mean he thinks Hiccup would destroy the hidden world, but the tone of the scene was so calm and relaxing that to me it gave off the vibe that Stock was implying that Hiccup would unite their worlds, which doenst make sense since again they were still at war with the dragons at this point. So I liked what they had in the movie, I think what they kept fit the tone and it still showed how Berk was at war with the dragons.

NEXT FLASHBACK. Little Hiccup just sneaking down the stairs and then his little face like “oh shit” when he saw his dad was up and trying to sneak back up. The way he said he wanted water, I JUST IT WAS SO CUTE, whoever voiced tiny hiccup good job because omg it was so cute. How happy he was to go over to his dad and sit on his lap.  When he asked Stoick if he would get them a new mom, my heart just broke I mean Hiccup was so young that he didn’t fully grasp the situation, and I mean before Hiccup got caught sneaking downstairs we saw Stoick crying. That was so important to me I mean Stoick the Vast, he is massive, and remember the first movie the fact about him ripping a dragons head off as a baby? Yea this character who basically screams masculinity has yet another vulnerable scene, showing yet again that crying is ok (I mean back in the first movie when he told Hiccup he wasnt his son, and when he met Valka again?? yes please keeping showing people that being masculine doenst mean you cant cry!). Stoick teaching Hiccup about love, yes dad points for you, I adore the scenes like these, that show how much Stock loves his family, he would be so proud of Hiccup and who he has become. OH YEA SIDE NOTE HOW I FORGET HICCUPS STUFFED DRAGON? THROWBACK TO THE TV SERIES THANK YOU.

New Berk, cuz thats the best I got to call it right now, love how everyone basically immediately goes to claiming their areas ahha.

Ok Snotlout my boy did you really just say “who died and made yout Chief” because too soon, I still love you

Low key thought they were gunna make Snotlout and Eret a thing, despite the weird flirting Snotlout had with Valka. I mean he was trying to be taller than Eret, and Eret was like hah no, yall id ship it ngl eret and snotlout 

Toothless meeting up with the light fury again, but this time trusting his instincts is another reminder that toothless is in fact an animal, a very intelligent animal, but an animal who has instincts and a desire to be with his own kind, I mean can you blame him? Its been at least 6 years since hes seen another dragon that was like him, maybe even longer depending on how long he was alone before he met hiccup. 

The throw back to the forbidden friendship scene? With toothless drawing in the sand, and oh God I never thought I would get so emotional about sand but dang that sand animation just was so realistic that I wanted to touch it. Hiccup being like “wow now you can draw”, Toothless growling at the light fury like he did to Hiccup back in the first for stepping on his art, come on guys Toothless worked hard on his art! The light fury flying away but toothless not being able to follow her, another throwback to when he couldnt fly with the dragons during the snoggletog special.

Hiccup making toothless a tail to fly alone, and Im glad they added the part when Astrid said they tried it before, again throwback to snoggletog, and that he didnt want the tail, and Hiccup clarifying that it was because he had no need to fly alone before. Now my only worry here is that the casual fan will just think that the exchange is a copout, I mean unless you remember the special you wouldnt know that they tired making him a tail fin and he didnt want it, so to the casual fan it might seem like they only added the comment to answer the question “If hiccup could make a tail fin why did he never do it before?”. Seeing the special where toothless destroys the tail really adds a layer of depth to the scene, because those of us who saw it remember that it was a statement that even though Hiccup had the ability to create a tail so toothless could fly alone, toothless wanted to fly with his best friend and didnt care for the tail. 

now the actual scene with toothless flying alone finding the light fury, first off it was so cute how he showed her his new tail! He was so proud of it, and no doubt proud of his best friend for making it. The scene itself though reminded me so much of the romantic flight, the way they flew together above the clouds and how it gave a sense of flight because we couldnt see the ground, ugg it was so beautiful. I was honestly blown away by the animation, the clouds and the color, they were all so beautiful. Toothless and the light fury flying together and really bonding, similar to Astrid and Hiccup on their first flight together, ugg all the throwbacks to the first movie really killed me. Also Toothless trying to copy the light fury and how she goes invisible was so cute, he was like “ah yes I got this, wait no shit again, no shit again again!” then he basically summons thors power of lighting and finds his new power, so proud of my baby. 

Now I fully believe that Toothless was going to go back to Hiccup after he spent time with the light fury in the hidden world, no way my boy would leave my other boy without a goodbye. But the other started to freak Hiccup out, I mean Hiccup knew his best friend would come back, but the others made him doubt it and seeing him freak out was heart breaking.

Astrid being like boy hop on we gonna get yo dragon, yes girl. Honestly them going into the hidden world on Stormfly? I mean need i say anything about the animation in this scene? The visuals were just breath taking, I cannot put it into words. Tootheless being the alpha is always a win, also Astrid calling him a king and Hiccup realizing that this beautiful place of dragons, is not place for humans, because Valka said it best, greedy humans ruin everything.

Hiccup and Astrid getting caught by a dragon and then going on a fun slide ride, and of course toothless comes through as the alpha to protect his humans, ALSO STORMFLY DONT THINK I FORGOT ABOUT HER, CUZ YES. I mean just like toothless Stormyfly will protect her human best friend, and I love her. 

How did I forget the next raid scene? I mean dang again the visuals and the lighting were just so spot on. Them all getting trapped? Valka being a badass and working with Cloudjumper to save them? Hiccup jumping and just escaping the clutches of Grimmels dragon? RUFFNUT

Ruffnut my girl dont think I forgot about you, I just I dont even know what to do with you. She was amazing, I mean shes just does not care, not scared that shes a prisoner, she fricking just talks about how ‘hot’ she is and just other random stuff about her life, like girl give me that confidence. But when she talked about the island i was like girl no dont do that, but her flying back and saying she doenst look back in response to being asked about being followed was pretty darn funny.

Bro the scene of the light fury and toothless getting captured? Toothless protecting her and telling the other dragons to stand down, at least until they can escape. Just heart breaking, help is so close, but I guess thats the downside of being the alpha, having that power can be used against you.

Astrid my girl, pep talking my boy Hiccup JUST LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE. And yes parallels again, just like in the first one Astrid said things to hiccup, she was very honest with him pointing out the things that had done wrong, the first pointing out how messy the situation got because of the lies, and in this movie pointing out how he constantly doubts himself, and in both Hiccup has a sassy comment regarding her pep talks, but Astrid always follows up with the good, like how he was the first viking to ride a dragon or how he was always brave, even without toothless, showing how she would always be by his side to support him and help him, especially when hes about to do something stupid. I just ugg they are couple goals, they dont even need to say I love you because they SHOW IT in their actions, in their support for eachother, their cute banters, and I am here for it. ALSO I MEAN HE KISSED HER HAIR EARLY AND THEN HER FOREHEAD THOSE ARE SO CUTE TO ME AND JUST SO NATURAL FOR THEM AHHH. Also “so what are you gunna do about it” “probably something stupid” YES YES YES I AM HERE FOR THAT SHIT

Everyone jumping off the island so they can ‘fly’ on their own, just first off so visually amazing, and second off so symbolic to me of each of them spreading their own wings and growing up into amazing people. 

Fishlegs and his baby dragon, I mean come on lets be real that shit is adorable, and baby dragon had his big dragon (does that dragon have a class name? because I dont remember it) friend and Fishlegs be like dont mess with baby dragon. 

Yooo I knew it, from the trailer I was like “Tuffnut is probs pissed that this dude cut off his hair beard” and boom it happned, but rip hair beard (until the end of the movie that is when it comes back)

Yall that unspoken scene where Hiccup and Astrid are just frickin shit up WHILE THEY JUST LOOK AT EACHOTHER, I MEAN HICCUP JUST CASUALLY THROWS SHIT TO START A FIRE AND THE ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STARING AT EACHOTHER HAVE A CONVERSATION COMPLETELY WITH THEIR EYES LIKE THAT IS SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT AND COUPLE GOALS.

I got such satisfaction out of Toothless destroying grimmels arrow shoter thing and watching as Grimmel started to get afraid, I mean this dude was so confident in his abilites, and up until now he has had the upper hand, but then you can see the “oh shit moment” as he realizes he is starting to lose and heck yea im here for it. Speaking of oh shit moments, when hiccup was riding toothless and they wer getting attacked? and then toothless is like “I SUMMON YOU THOR AND YOUR LIGHTING” and hiccup was like WTH?!!??!?!?

Ok yall that scene when toothless got shot, and hiccup is hanging from the light fury with grimmel on his leg? I mean Grimmel really thought that he had won, he underestimated the love Hiccup has for Toothless, and the moment that Hiccup told the light fury to save Toothless and he let go? the hesitation she had trying to pick who to save? her new mate, or his best friend that she now seems to understand has a great important meaning to toothless? The image of Hiccup falling, and the camera angle? I mean seeing him fall from above, seeing it in his face that he was content, content knowing that his best friend would be alive and safe and that Grimmel would no longer be able to hurt the dragons or his people? Such a self sacrifice, a true Chief just like his father. 

Then the light fury to the rescue! Hiccup being like LOL BYE GRIMMLE YOU DEAD. Also reminded me of when he started to ride toothless back in the first movie and they fell and hiccup got back on his back and in control just in time, because dang she saved him his butt just before he hit the water. But seriously I loved this scene, she went back for hiccup, she saw the interactions Toothless had with him, how Toothless protected him and Astrid in the hidden world, how Toothless CHOSE HICCUP when he saw him in danger in the hidden world, she came to realize that this boy is important to Toothless, and she saw that Hiccup was willing to die for Toothless, and she went back and saved him, and God I got emotional.

Also Hiccup leaning on Astrid because he has lost his prostectic leg, yessss im here for it

NOW TO THE REAL TEAR JERKER I mean gosh you could just see the realization again in Hiccup that the dragons didnt belong with them on Berk, that even though they love the dragons and the dragons love them, even though they have worked together for years and they want to live together in peace they just cant do it safely.There are too many people out in the world who would attack berk, and we have seen that both in the movies and the show, and that puts both the people and the dragons at risk. 

It was safest for everyone if the dragons went to the hidden world, where no one could find them, well expect Hiccup and Astrid who have been there once. I just cant though, that scene was just so amazing and heart crushing. I mean you can see it that Toothless doesnt want to leave his best friend, and Hiccup doenst want him to leave, but he reassures him that its ok that its best for everyone and that its time to say good bye for now, not forever though. Then oh God how Astrid follows him, because she knows hes right too, she knows that they can no longer live with their dragons safely, and she takes off Stormflys saddle and says good bye to her best friend. THEN VALKA who has lived with the dragons for 20 years, she knows too and she doenst hesitate to let Cloudjumper go free, and it made so much sense to me that she was so willing to do so even after being together for 20 years, she has protected them for 20 years so there is no doubt in my mind that Valka would do this without a second though if it meant that was the best thing for her friend. THEN OMG EVERYONE ELSE FOLLOWS THAT JUST HURT SO MUCH. I mean ever single Berkian seens what Hiccup did, and everyone knows they have a special bond, I mean they all have a special bond with their dragons, but Hiccup and Toothless are different, they were the only pair that we know of that needed each other to fly, I mean sure the other vikings needed their dragons to fly but their dragons didnt need them to fly, toothless relied on hiccup to control his tail and that bond is so special. Anyway, I just thought that all the others saw Hiccup doing this, and hes their Chief the man who started the whole riding dragons for them, so I have no doubt in my mind that they would follow his lead, and again to me they see Hiccup and Toothless doing this letting go, so they must think “If these two can do it so can I”. I just really think it shows how much the vikings truly care for their dragon friends, when you love someone you want the best for them, you want them to be happy, even if that means you need to say goodbye. And thats what happened here the vikings loved their dragons so much that they were willing to say goodbye to their friends if it meant that they would be save, and the same goes in the other direction, the dragons are not dumb and I believe they knew that leaving is what was best too, that leaving meant that their viking friends would be safer. The love they all have for each other is so amazing. I only wish that the goodbye was long, I am so bad at goodbyes and omg I just wish they had a longer time to say goodbye, not only to their dragons but to the others as well, I mean toothless saying goodbye to Astrid and Stormfly too Hiccup? uG I SUCK AT GOOD BYWS OK I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE ABLE TO SAY GOOD BYE TO ALL THE DRAGONS.

But man i said to myself ‘you can do it dont cry’ didnt work, I sobbed, legit sobbed, and it wasnt my normal movie cry were its just tears, it was the kind where you can feel the pain in your chest from your heart beating to hard, from trying to hold back the chocked sobs so no one else would  get annoyed, although lets be real they are did the same thing so we all cried.  Seeing them all fly off, AND THE REVERSE HAND TOUCH I CANNOT, THAT REALLY HURT I JUST COULDNT TAKE IT THE PARALLELS REALLY KILLED ME THE ENTIR MOVIE. Then Toothlesses look back at Hiccup, and then the long shot and seeing the massive wave of dragons, and then seening toothless following from the back as he is the last to leave, the vikings looking on with sadness and fondness for their dragons, really did come for my heart.

NOW ONTO HAPPY TIMES. the Wedding, oh my god, how lucky can a girl be? I got to see the mother of all my OTPs get married, and dang they were beautiful, and they looked so happy, it just warmed my heart to know that these two dorks who truly have a special relationship finally got married. Then Gobber called them Chief and Chiefstriss and wow really hit me hard that these two were going to lead Berk together, because they are always there to support each other. THEN that kiss so cute, and how Hiccup goes to gently cup her face with his hands, just wow my otp is the best.

Then we again have love master Tuffnut who will take Snotlout as his new student, and FISHLEGS HAS A LITTLE BABY GRUNKLE STUFFED ANIMAL IN HIS BAG. aND RUFF being like “you win i love sensitive guys” Then we have Hiccup and Astrid looking out to the sea as their friends and family come together with them, and Astrid lays her head on his shoulder so great.

Now dang my boy HICCUP WITH A BEARD??? BEARDCUP IS REAL, and he is wearing his fur cap, and Astrid looking like a frickin QUEEN, and AGAIN HOW LUCKY CAN A GIRL BE I SEE A WEDDING AND I GET CHILDREN????? MY OTP HAS TWO CHILDREN???? AND THEY ARE GORGEOUS.

buT DANG when they saw Toothless through the fog and then the light fury and then the little baby heads pop up, and you can see how happy Hiccup is. But Toothless doenst immediatly recognize him, which makes sense because I mean 10 year for humans can change the looks drastically, and hiccup has a beard now so he doenst look like what toothless remembered, plus hes the alpha and must protect his family. Astrid protecting her children like a frickin badass mom, and Zephry hidding behind her mom and Nuffink going into her chest? Ug love it, they trust their mom to protec them, and I love this to because it really shows that they are children, I mean I have no doubt that Astrid and Hiccup are going to raise them to be brave, I mean its Hiccup and Astrid, but they are still children and well they have grown in a world without dragons, different than their parents, we know at that age Astrid was fearless, I mean she wanted to fight a flightmare, but now the world has changed and they arent at war and they can raise their kids as kids, and I love that they showed that fear in the children it just gave a sense of realism to me. 

Then HIccup DID THE THING with the hand and Toothless finally was like “WAIT THIS IS MY HUMAN” and his eyes went big and omg how he attacked him with kisses and licks. Then Astrids laugh to see them reunite, and them urging their kids that it was ok, and remember before when I said they would raise brave kids? Well this little cuties were afraid, but they still listened and trusted their parents, and omg Zephry was so stiff from fear and her face, and Nuffink was hiding his face, but Hiccup came and showed them how to approach Toothless, and wow here we go again with the hand touch and HIccup telling them to let him come to them, and Toothless did the thing AND OMG THEIR REACTION WAS SO CUTE. The way Zephry cocked her head and smiled, and how Nuffink dropped his hand from his face and his mouth widened in awe of his dragon. 

THEN I GET TO SEE HICCUP WITH HIS SON RIDING TOOHTLESS? AND HIS SOON IS JUST MAKING THE CUTEST LITTLE WAVING MOTIONS WITH HIS HANDS. And hiccup throwing his kid in the air as he giggles in delight, and I swear I heard him say “Dada” and it killed me. Then Astrid being Astrid flys right passed them ON STORMFLY, like thank you for not forgetting about my girl, because she loves Stormfly and Stormfly loves her and seeing Astrid ride her with her daughter just made the scene even better. They could have easily forgotten about my girl, but they didnt, they didnt do her dirty, I may not have gotten to see the moment when she and Stormfly met again, BUT I SAW THEY RIDING TOGETHER AND THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

Oh yea bonus points for seeing the light fury and the babies flying with them. Then Hiccup just flys upside down dropping Nuffink on Astrids head, and ug the way he just casually clings to his mother, then I was like wow I hope Zephry gets to ride Toothless with he father, AND THEN HE PULLED UP NEXT TO THEM AND HELD OUT HIS HAND TO DO JUST THAT, dreamworks you really came through for me, thank you so much for allowing Dead and all the other hard workers of this franchise make this amazing world for us. It tore my heart apart, but I loved every second of it, and I have no regrets, it was honestly a great ending,no matter how badly it hurt and how badly I wanted them to live together forever, it was just the perfect ending with a great lesson about letting go and moving on, becoming your own person, and being happy with the memories you had, because being able to say you loved something or someone and letting them go is better than never loving them at all, thats what happend to the vikings and dragons, and thats what happened to me personally at the end of it all. I cant wait to relive the magic and watch all the movies again. 

oh how could I forget? The end credits, you thought the pain ended with the end of the movie nope the credits are going to give you every major scene from each movie, reminding us where we started and where we have come to, and that was just the cherry on top of it all. 

Also side note a girl sat behind me and she goes “is that a toothless plushie?” and yes it was so she asked to see it so i handed him to her and we started talking about the movie, she was able to see it during an early release boo i had work. Anyway she asks me how old i was when the first came out, and I said 16, she seemed shook and i asked her the same, she said she was 5, so if math does me right she would be about 14/15. I was older than she is currently is when the first movie came out, thats wild. Then i laughed off the age difference saying “you would never know ill be 25 in a week”, and her (i assume) mom said I looked young haha. But because of the age difference I gave her some good life advice, I told her not to care about what others think of you, Im almost 25 crying over a dragon movie that means the world to me as i sit with my dragon plushie, and her mom just agreed with me and told her to listen to me because I knew what I was saying haha. Shout out to this girl too because shes the one who told me that Hiccup and Astrids’s kids had cannon names, I had been avoiding everything I could about this movie so I was glad to be up to date on that.

Wow this took me like 2 hours to write i think? I mean yea it was mostly for me to read later in life so I can remember this day, all the photos i took before hand, and all the excitement I had, wow Hi future me! Sorry about all the grammar mistakes but Im just typing as the thoughts come, hope I didnt break your heart again as you read all this. Until next time