#i dont want to go š„¹š„¹š„¹
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have been informed that I'm gonna take my mom to another city tomorrow and it's 3.5 hours away
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doni filipino agenda
do you get me. his full name is jhon marcus donatello jesus m. de los reyes and he plays basketball has 3 siblings and works at his family's sari-sari store . he is also my friend and we play tumbang preso together
#my friend ron told me his nickname would be dondon and its APDKWKDNE AUGGHHHHHHH#he's so cuteness overloaddddd#he's filipino to me bcs he literally looks like one of my classmates. and also because the tidbits about him leaving hometown to#pursue his dreams is so filipino. LIKE!!!#his family is also a bunch of farmers#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#doni dungeon meshi#doni ily ily ilyš„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹#i drew more and am going to draw more but!! i dont want to make this post 2long#doni#delicious in dungeon#i keep forgorin that tag bcs that can Not be the official eng translation but IT IS
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before it felt like a sin, ch. 1
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 3000
summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.
And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.
She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.
a/n: Hi everyone!! I decided to post this here too...I'm slowly going through everything I've written so far, and I want to post each chapter here as I edit them. I'm hoping that this can be a way to a) get back in to writing more, and b) get better at my art as I make full illustrations for each chapter. Let me know what you think!! :)
There is nothing quite as horrible as being a muggle,Ā Eloise thought savagely as she ripped out yet another stitch in the landscape she was embroidering. At least, it wasĀ supposedĀ to be a landscape. Maybe with her head tilted to the left and with her eyes almost closed so everything blurred together, it might resemble one. She did just that, trying her hardest to make out some recognizable shape and blast the stupid practice ofĀ manuallyĀ pushing colored thread through a fabric in some sort of -
āAnd what isĀ this, Miss Babbit?ā
Eloise jumped at the sound and looked up at the scowling face of her teacher, and then quickly back down at the tangled thread in her lap. Behind her, she could hear the hushed giggles of the other girls in her class.
āOh! Erā¦itās -ā
āHow long have you been here?ā the woman interrupted.
āOne hourā¦I just -ā
āDonāt be smart with me. I mean, at this institute.ā
āFive years.ā Eloise glared down at her embroidery as if it had personally offended her. It wasnāt like she wasĀ activelyĀ trying to be bad at everything, but she had the distinct disadvantage - how had it ever come to be thatĀ sheĀ would be at a disadvantage to muggles? - ofĀ notĀ having spent a lifetime being prepared for muggle society and all that it entailed. The last five years had been a monotonous, endless cycle of lessons designed to turn her into the perfect lady: French (a waste of time as Eloise was already fluent), embroidery (a waste of time as the things she embroidered werenāt actuallyĀ useful), dancing (a waste of time as she wasĀ alreadyĀ engaged to be married - why would she bother trying to woo another silly man?), and her most dreaded class of all:Ā etiquette.Ā No matter how many years had been spent trying to assimilate into muggle culture, her thoughts still got muddled when she tried to remember the steps to a dance, or how to properly address the son of a duke.
Did it really matter, anyways, what the other girls thought? She had pretended her whole life to be the daughter sheĀ thoughtĀ her parents had wanted - now she was simply pretending that she hadnāt been thrown into the muggle world without a second thought. What was a bit more pretending - that sheĀ didnātĀ care? That she hadnāt been tossed aside without a second thought?
āExactly. Five years. And yet, you have shown no progress whatsoever. This -ā a finger jabbed accusingly at the embroidery - āis absolutely horrendous. If your parents hadnāt continued to make such a sizeable donation every year, I would have deemed you a lost cause and sent you packing when you first arrived. How your familyĀ everĀ managed your betrothal to the son of an earl is beyond me.ā
Eloise grimaced at the mention of her fiance as her teacher clapped her hands together to get the attention of the class - a wholly unnecessary action due to the fact that it was already being given. āClass is dismissed. Please collect your belongings and put them in the correct place. Remember, as future wives and mothers, you must be organized in all aspects of your life. Many of you will be managing important households and the slightest misstep -ā a slight glance to Eloise out of the corner of her eye - ācan cause the biggest of scandals.ā
Eloise raced to gather her things and leave the classroom before everyone else. No matter how many years had been spent at the school, she couldnāt help but hate sitting through the classes amongst the judgmental stares and snide remarks. Although things had started out shaky at the finishing school - to be expected, really, when youāve grown up in wizarding society and then are then forced to live as aĀ muggleĀ - it still stung that after all these years, she still hadnāt found a friendly face. She was treated as if she were a pariah: it was as if the other girls justĀ knewĀ that something was different about her. Butā¦wasnāt that the great irony of it all? SheĀ wasnātĀ different than them. She was a filthy squib.
When she first arrived at the school, she was an anomaly. A twelve-year-old girl who didnāt know how to play the piano or who the queen was. It was clear to everyone that Eloise wasnāt the charity case of the school - her parents were obviously quite wealthy - and yet they seemingly wanted nothing to do with her. Whereas the others got regular letters and visits from their family, it was as if Eloise were an orphan. Nothing new to her of course, but to her peers thisĀ othernessĀ aided them in her ostracization.
Upon entering her room, she was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts.Ā Something wasnāt right.Ā Everything seemed the same: a twin bed perfectly made opposite a small wardrobe, a plain wooden desk placed between them. The weak afternoon sunlight shone through the window, illuminating her desk. Butā¦there.
Thatā¦
Placed on her bed, resting on the pillow, was aĀ letter.
SheĀ neverĀ received letters.
Eloise shoved her embroidery under her bed and hungrily grabbed at it, pausing when she saw the address.Ā Miss E. Babbit. The Third Bedroom on the Leftā¦Ā It seemed vaguely familiar to her in a way she couldnāt quite put her finger on.
As she read the letter, though, it became apparent to her exactly why this was. Although not exactly the same as the one her brother had received six years earlier, it quickly became apparent that this was a Hogwarts letter. ForĀ her. For Miss E. Babbit.
Hands shaking, she set the letter down on her desk and sat on the edge of her bed. She smoothed her hands over her skirt over and over, taking comfort in the familiar softness as she tried to even her breathing.
How was this possible?Ā She had all but accepted the fact that she was a squib. The shame of her family, a dirty secret to be hidden away and never talked about or mentioned again. Her parents had suspected as much by the time she had turned seven without any signs of magic whatsoever manifesting around her - not even a basic transformation of brussel sprouts to sweets during dinner. It was ultimately confirmed, however, when herĀ ownĀ Hogwarts acceptance letter never arrived. She had spent the whole year before her banishment daydreaming about her life at Hogwarts, still optimistic that there could beĀ somethingĀ magical inside of her. Her brother, Leo, came home every holiday with wonderful stories of his new friends and teachers, and the subjects he was learning at school. Even back then, at twelve years old, Eloise hadnāt been sure if he was actually hopeful she wasnāt a squib, or if he had been trying to prolong the fantasy for her before it all came crashing down.
Although she had had five years to come to terms with her new life, there was still a small part of her that hoped. A small āwhat ifā¦ā. She had tried time and time again to squash that tiny ray of optimism that would escape every so often, tried so very hard to cultivate a hard exterior that wouldnāt let any sort of vulnerability shine through. And that optimismĀ wasĀ a vulnerability, after all. It was thatĀ vulnerabilityĀ that had made it absolutely impossible for her to fit in the muggle world, and made it so that she didnāt really want to try.
Five years to come to terms with the fact that she needed aĀ newĀ purpose for her life andā¦
ā¦not anymore?
Eloise grabbed the letter and greedily read through it again, drinking in all of the words. She paused at the end, thinking.Ā Was this a forgery? Some sort of awful joke orchestrated by her brother?Ā Leo had never been cruel to her in the past; in fact, he was the one who always encouraged her and was the most probable source of the small optimism that remained within her. However, she had no way of knowing how he had changed since she had last seen him. It had been, after all, five very long years. And not once had she heard from him, even though he had promised her through huge sobbing gulps that he would never abandon her. Maybe their parents had slowly poisoned him against her. It would be right on the nose for them, after all.
Looking at the envelope again, howeverā¦Third Bedroom on the Leftā¦no. It was too specific. Nobody in her previous life had any reason to even want to contact her again, and nobody in her current life even knew what Hogwarts was, let alone have the ability to convincingly forge a letter just to have some fun at her expense.
A light, bubbly feeling began to spread throughout her body as it sunk in that this was real.Ā She was going to Hogwarts. Soon, a - squinting at the letter again - a Professor Fig would be contacting her and giving her things to study. A huge grin slowly spread across her face and she hugged the letter to her chest as she fell back on her bed. She read through it again. Was it the fifth time already? It felt as though no amount of times rereading the letter would ever be enough.
Eloise got up and walked over to look at the calendar on her desk. She was surprised to see that September 1st was in only two days. The days at the finishing school moved in such a strange, sluggish way. They all felt the same. Monotonous. French and Latin and embroidery and household management and Merlin even knows what else all blending into each other in an endless parade of dusty classrooms and gossip and boredom.
The light feeling left her in an instant as, after years of practice, the optimism was squashed back down.Ā But how will you evenĀ getĀ to London? And,Ā her brain added sneakily,Ā you havenāt even shown any signs of magic. Maybe youāll just be returned back here after they realize their mistake.
No,Ā she thought fiercely, gripping the letter.Ā Until -
A tapping came from the window. A tentative smile returned at the sight of a tawny brown owl with another envelope in its beak. She ripped it open as soon as it was in her hands (again addressed toĀ Miss E. Babbit) and along with the letter a small, purple pouch fell out of the envelope and onto her bed.
Miss Eloise Babbit,
I am pleased to be the wizard charged with such an important task as escorting you to Hogwarts in two daysā time. It is something extraordinary to be accepted in your fifth-year, and as such, I expect extraordinary things from you. I have enclosed a small pouch along with this envelope, and in it are some items that will be vital to you in the upcoming days. I have included books for you to study at your leisure, and a small gobstone that will bring you to our rendezvous point in London. All you have to do is touch it at noon on the 1st and you will be transported instantly.
Your family has not been informed of your acceptance. I am sure you understand why - at this, Eloise scoffed quietly to herself - which is why I will personally be your escort.
I am looking forward to meeting you and bringing you to the sorting ceremony in two daysā time.
Yours,
Eleazar Fig
The handwriting was tiny and spidery and cramped, but it didnāt stop Eloise from reading it with the same vigor as the previous letter and as many times. Finally, she turned to the small pouch that had fallen onto her bed when she opened the second envelope. It must have had an invisible extension charm, because it was filled to the brim with books on basic spellwork and general wizarding history. Professor Fig had no way of knowing, but Eloise had already read many of these books and many more during the year her brother had started Hogwarts, as she had needed to know absolutelyĀ everythingĀ about what would be awaiting her. A few years may have passed since she had stepped foot in her familyās library, but she couldnāt get the books or their contents out of her brain even if she had wanted to. She hadĀ reallyĀ wanted to forget everything she knew about the magical world when it was confirmed she was a squib but it was a futile effort. As she zoned out during her piano lessons, she would find herself mentally going through the movements to cast different charms.
It was painful to be thinking about things from the life that had been ripped away from her, to know that what she was thinking about would never come to pass, that she wouldĀ neverĀ be able to wield magic - and yet she couldnāt find herself able to stop.
As Eloise picked out one of the books and settled into her armchair, a steely resolve overcame her.
She wouldĀ proveĀ that she deserved to be there, and was just as capable as any of they were. She would make her parents regret ever discarding her like she was nothing.
She was worthy. She was capable. And she would prove it.
The morning of September 1st dawned cold and rainy. Absolutely perfect.
Eloise had pretended to be sick the night before, and no one had suspected a thing when she stayed in bed long after all of the other girls had gotten ready and headed to breakfast. As the last of the chattering faded away down the hallway, Eloise finally got out of bed and prepared herself for the day. It was difficult to sit still long enough to braid her hair. Her fingers wouldnāt stop trembling and she had to restart countless times. Finally, she tied the black ribbon at the end into a neat bow and turned to the drawer of her desk to retrieve the small purple pouch she had hidden away.
Everything she deemed important enough to come along with her had already been placed inside: the books from Professor Fig, the hair ribbons gifted to her by her brother many years ago, and some clothing. Nothing else was coming with. SheĀ neededĀ the fresh start. Besides, anything else she might need would be supplied, as her acceptance letter had specifically stated that any school supplies would be provided to her.
Waiting the hours before noon came along proved to be more difficult than Eloise had imagined. Time seemed to be moving slower than the molasses that had come with the breakfast sent up to her, the steady patter of the rain becoming a sort of metronome keeping time as she paced back and forth. Wasnāt there anything that could distract her, even for a bit? She glanced at the clock. Only five minutes had passed since the last time. 10.35.
The second hand ticking away in tandem with the sound of rain splashing against her window.
What if thisĀ wasĀ all a trick? What if she arrived at Hogwarts, and they turned her away because they realized they had made a mistake? After all,Ā whyĀ would they admit a sixteen-year-old? Surely she was too old; every other student had started Hogwarts at the age of twelve and had shown signs of magic much earlier than that. She still hadnāt shown any signs of magical capability whatsoever, and didnāt feel any different than she had before receiving the letter. It had to be a fluke.
As her thoughts started veering into the melancholy she was prone to, she shook her head.Ā No. Today was a happy, exciting day. She wasnāt going to squash the optimism down today, not when she needed it most. All of these thoughts she was having were simply that:Ā thoughts. Not reality. Hogwarts never made a mistake, and in all of the history books she had read, she couldnāt recall an instance of someone being turned away at the door. Granted, she had also never heard of someone being admitted so late. But, better to focus on what sheĀ didĀ know, which was that she had gotten the letter. It must be right in its assumption that she had magic.
Trying to pass the time was easier said than done. She ended up quizzing herself on all of the charms she had memorized in the books sent by Professor Fig, moving an imaginary wand in the precise movements needed to successfully cast and focusing on her pronunciation. She had studied all of these forms late into both nights she had had the books, and when she would eventually close her eyes to sleep, the wand movements were all she saw.
Eloise was determined that she would receive pity from nobody. Nobody was going to look at her like she was lacking. She had gotten enough ofĀ thatĀ to last a lifetime, and now that she was given this opportunity she wasnāt about to waste it.
When noon finally struck, Eloise was ready and waiting. She eagerly grabbed the gobstone that was sitting on her desk and felt the familiar tugging sensation in her navel as she was whisked away to London and the beginning of her new life.
next chapter
#im just writing this fic for fun & since Iām editing it a bit#I thought it would be fun to challenge myself to do full illustrations for each chapter#(the reason I started these fanarts in the first place was for thisš§āāļø)#if you actually read this I would love to know what you think!!#I keep going back & forth between wanting to make a master list and also explain my tag system on this tumblr#but at the same time I like the chaosā¦š¤#well let me know!! or if you have any suggestions!!šš#it starts off a bit slow but this story is VERY canon-divergent#and will have a lot of mythology/magical theory/pureblood society etc etc#i dont expect these to really get much traction bahahahahahaha#but im going to have a lot of fun rereading my fic & making these illustrationsš„¹š#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy fic#oh also???? how do you format these things??????????????? anyways the chapter is up on ao3 and honestly the whole fic up to chapter 22ļæ½ļæ½ļ潚#but if you have any suggestions lmk!!!!#like do I put the warnings for the whole fic on each chapter?? put only the chapter warnings??? literally this is me: š§āāļø#a poor confused technology grandma
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stop telling me facts about gojoāi dont want them Anymore
#she just learned hes a dog person#but he goes to bed at 4am just like me š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹#delete later#his parents are alive sounds like a lie#i assumed the entire gojo clan was Dead for some reason#me loving gojo forever#someone: he likes dogs#me: oh my god but like how much-#no no its okay if ur a dog person i just dont wanna hear about it lowkey nicely politely please#ive just met one really annoying dog person and it-#gojo can change my opinion on dog people-#witnessing me go through cognitive dissonance on the spot#maybe i just dont want his parents alive bc ive been drawing their son naked#this is the worst fking facts list of all time wtf-
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Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished š« It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????
If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3
#jesus christ i cant believe i actually made this šš#originally earlier last week i was like ahhh i wanna draw more of them in different eras(like the timeswap au)#and then randomly wanted to draw every single racesuit(nightmare)#and then im like WAIT I CAN MAKE A PICREW OUT OF THIS#no joke when i say i dont think i was a human this weekend#it was truly: eat. sleep. draw. eat. draw. sleep. draw. eat. draw. draw. sleep.#the screentime count on my ipad is soooooo fucking bad im ashamed dhfjfkkg#i dont think picrews are meant to be made in the span of a weekend#*weakly* i did it~#again as i said in the description. please request if you want anything added!!!#i dont know if ill get to it immediately bcs i just spent 30+ hours psychologically torturing myself#i actually feel so ill JSJFKGLGLG but im happy w it and i wouldnt have gone back and changed any of the process#tho the evolution of 'im having so much fun' to groaning every time i opened up my ipad again was so funny#thank you so much to suzuki i could have never have done this without your support and encouragement š„¹š„¹#hoping this picrew works as a blood sacrifice to the good health and wellbeing of the amr24. the car that is launching today!#also istg i am going to dm shill and self reblog this with no shame. it is my magnum opus(as of now)#now i am going to sleep and not touch my ipad for a while djfkkglg#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#vettonso#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :ā ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, å¾ćÆļæ½ļæ½ćć ć, āI will leave the rest to you.ā
And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. Heās been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything heās ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazaiās words and actions, and just when heās finally started to feel like heās found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigmaās trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazaiās dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodorās. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what heās been seeking his whole life).
But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesnāt have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light weāve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the āI leave the rest to youā panel too). The āNoā could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldnāt have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that heās still going to try to save him, that he wasnāt wrong about him, and itās all because Dazaiās earnest expressions get through to him.
And itās just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :ā ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action weāve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Odaās and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isnāt actually going to die, heāll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didnāt foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. Thereād be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; thatād just be cruel. No, I donāt think he saw this coming, and itās important that that turns out to be the case: itās important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesnāt mean that itās okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But itās still so beautiful to see how much heās changed, and how much heās truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isnāt infallible, but in turn didnāt hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :ā ) š
There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigmaās ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, itās possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesnāt go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I donāt want, tbh; thatās endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed āordinary manā -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. š
#bungou stray dogs#bsd 106.5#meta#this chapter was literally everything i could have wanted i am SO EMOTIONAL#I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT#ASAGIRI GIVING ME LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER COULD HAVE WANTED#DAZAI HAS GROWN SOOOO MUCH HE'S BECOME SO MUCH LIKE ODA I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD šššššš#as soon as i saw that big panel of his face i was like........ he looks like oda......... ASAGIRI I SEE YOUUUUUU#AND THE FINAL WORDS#I SEE YOUUUUUUUUUU#ISTG IF DAZAI THINKS ABOUT ODA WHEN HE THINKS HE'S GONNA DIE BEFORE HE GETS SAVED I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST#ASAGIRI PLEASE THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY I WILL CRYYYYYYY šš„ŗš„¹š#Dazai was so much like Oda here and Sigma looked just like Atsushi in that one panel DONT TOUCH MEEEE#THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS SO PERFECT#I NEED SIGMA TO SAVE HIM NOW#the longest chapter we've gotten in AGES and it was a banger god bless#tbh i really needed this after season 4 lmao i needed a reminder of why i love this series so much :''''') something to soothe my rage#asagiri saw my bitterness at anime sigma and was like 'here u go babe i got your sigma and dazai and oda feast'#probably means next month will be short again and a pov change lmao š„²š#gonna enjoy this while it lasts#anyway i was really happy to see that moment of Sigma getting mad even if it didn't last long (and for a beautiful reason)#because he Deserved that#(because that's what i wrote in my fic and i feel vindicated now even if that wasn't the main focus of this chapter looool oops-)
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šµ | Ramble Incoming >>>
Y'all tell me if it's just a me thing but you know what I find that's actually annoying compared to people forgetting your birthday? People who wish you an early happy birthday on purpose and thinks they're special because 'ooo look I wished you this early so I must be the first person to wish you a happy birthday and that makes me special' ššššššš
#boo š
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#this isnt grade school bro i dont CARE if you're the first or last to wish me a happy birthday#ugh i remember being so. like. big eyed and shocked when people remember my birthday and I'd go#āwhat? you remembered??? omg seriously?!?!?!ā š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹#psh.#not anymore bitch#not any more.#wish me if you want (as you should)#if you dont wish me or you forgot about it then thats fine too! it really isnt that big of a deal because its MY SPECIAL DAY and somebody#forgetting to wish me won't take that away! (as I should š
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)#i had some twink i didnt like from high school wish me TWO WHOLE WEEKS EARLY... which explains the whole ramble hehe šāāļøšāāļøšāāļø#did not count his wishes at all and blocked him šāāāā#hyukassubi.thoughts
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A little photo dump from an amazing weekend!! Not only getting to finally see the ghovie but also to spend some time with one of my favourite people @da-rulah thank you for letting me stay with you ššš
Some general ghovie thoughts under the read more but no spoilers
I am seeing it again today but I feel like I am never going to recover!! It is all I ever could have imagined and more. As a fan I feel very cared about but Tobias and the whole team behind the film became it really just felt like a love letter to this whole Papa IV era which has been the first for a lot of us.
It feels like a gift to us in these not so great times because we all need those moments to find joy and happiness when when it seems like the whole world is falling apart around us and to me at least it feels like we have been given that. And that is on top of all the friends and community we have all built around our shared love of this band. It's not anything I think the casual viewer would pick up on but the more I think about it the more emotional I feel and yeah.
Just feeling very thankful and full of love for this band and this fandom ššš
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i said forever ago i was gonna romance karlach as a dwarven forge cleric of moradin but i had a new character idea and now idk what to do š
#ive been so torn on this for like weeks atp#i had to delete all my saves and start fresh after patch 6 so ive been putting it off by making new saves w all my ocs#anyway my new idea is a half-orc girlie from baldurs gate who had a shitty home life and wanted to escape so bad#she's a rogue bc she had to sneak around her father and navigate the city after dark#and she was hoping sm her violent tendencies would fade once she got away from her awful family#so once her dad died she went to the open hand temple and wanted to be a paladin of ilmater#but she failed the ilmateri mind reading initiation test bc of her dark urges š#so then i dont have the details but she was basically like fml and dark urges took over and she became bhaal's chosen etc#but postgame she & karlach can fix the engine then return to baldur's gate and make a new home there with happy memories and a family#and she can be accepted into ilmater's church and protect the weak like she wanted to now that she's free of bhaal's influence š„¹#now that i typed it all out i think i have to go w her...#lush.talk
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truly incredible gig tn atmosphere was stunning and also I was stood almost just behind maybe The most handsome butch I have ever seen in my life im not even exaggerating and they were also there alone (VERY rare at this show) and we made eye contact like twice bc they turned around a couple times and as I was leaving I realised they were suddenly right next to me and then I lost them in thr crowd!!!!! and im kicking myself so fucking hard bc I so badly wanted to catch them just to tell them I've never seen someone so gorgeous in my entire life im stone cold sober btw just completely losing my mind. And there were prolly a couple thousand ppl it was so so busy coming out of the venue and ive already walked half the way home theres no chance I'll find them now but I still keep scanning people that pass me in case it's them. tearing my hair out coughing up blood I'll never forget u come back to me i need to shoot my shot pls.....
#dont know why im feeling so bonkers abt this i almost never feel this intensely abt anyone on sight i didnt even have anything to say#to them ummmmm im not even the kinda guy to ever want to hit on a total stranger openly but oh my god. maybe they didnt even notice me.#and it wouldve been weird to say that to them so its probably for the best but. puts my head in my hands. no one comment i WILL cry#THIUS IS SO EMBARRASSINGGGGGG. but it was such a specific gig its so hard to find ppl my age who like this kinda music#like the crowd was mostly 50+ so they probably did notice me even if it was just on account of thr fact we were some of the v few#ppl in our twenties there..... AUUUGGHHHH and im also hot + butch and was dressed very butchly tn. so. and we DID make eye contact#lord im delirious. okay im normal. no im not falls to my knees. well maybe ill run into them again someday. š„¹š„¹š„¹#i hope theyre thinking abt me too. ok its sooooo late and im home now and so tired im gonna get changed and go to BED#GOODNIGHT. SORRY FOR BEING CRAZY#.diaries
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i hate having food texture sensitivity problem/being a "picky eater" the next time someone tries to give me a boiled vegetable i'm killing myself
#it's so humiliating like i don't need everybody to know. like. that rice triggers my gag reflex. š#& i don't need to be thought of as like. a baby who just decides a food is 'yucky' & won't touch it#AND i don't want to be thought of as rude or come across like i. don't appreciate that they cooked a meal.#but like no i'm sorry i cannot eat a bowl of this wonderful meal you prepared š„¹š„¹š„¹please dont look at me now unless youre going to kill me
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different anon - what just rubs me the wrong way i guess is the implication of the cast ātaking overā ian and anthonyās spot. fans back then where shamed about thinking or being worried that the cast or the content they created would be pushed away on the main channel when unscripted content wasnāt coming back, but now fans are āvalidā in thinking that the cast are taking over ian and anthonyās place.
iām just uncomfortable with the insinuation (whether intentional or not) that the cast is ātakingā a spot thats not rightfully theirs and vice-versa. i think thereās a balance that can be made on the main channel and that thereās no need to alienate one over the other. it all just feels like that time the smosh squad got introduced and i feel like we shouldve grown past that way of thinking.
Hi šš»
(Firstly: your last point was the reason I made sure to say I love the cast again and again, because I agree. This is not an anti-squad thing. I hated that back in the day.)
It wasn't right or ok to shame people for having that opinion, I agree. Though, I was always of the opinion that they weren't pushed away from any spotlight, the main channel just changed direction again (people were upset over cast member channels vanishing from main, but actually they were just moved to Pit - which doesn't mean anything deep, Main just changed direction and content concepts). But shaming people for their opinion in this context is never nice.
I didn't intent to make my reply to sound like the cast doesn't deserve screentime or they don't deserve a spot on main because it's "not rightfully theirs". Everyone on Smosh "deserves" a spot anywhere, it's their job after all. I think all this is messy af because we're all protective of our faves and there lies the source of lots of bad fandom discourse.
I can't put into words well what I'm feeling, I'm sorry. But I'll try again.
The age old debate in the Smosh fandom will always be scripted vs unscripted (or I&A vs Cast ig, which I hate). Scripted was on main, unscripted on the other channel(s). Scripted was I & A and the cast (minus the very beginning), Unscripted was the cast and I&A. Ideally, when things were/are going well, everyone has a place where they could shine. Some viewers preferred Scripted, some Unscripted (some, like me, both). Then Anthony left and the place where Scripted took place slowly became un-/semi scripted. Naturally there wasn't a place for I & A to shine, because I & A didn't exist anymore. It was Ian and the cast. Some viewers were sad over that understandably so. Their fave content was vanishing.
Then Anthony came back, the Scripted place became scripted again (making the sad viewers mostly happy again and other viewers sad) and cast got more empowerment on the Unscripted side (shows, the new pitch admission system, etc) while semi scripted stuff happened in the form of Live Shows. Intense Nostalgia stuff happened and then cast got more parts again on the Scripted side.
What I and others are now a bit worried about is that the Scripted stuff on the Scripted Main Channel will vanish again and be replaced by Unscripted/Semi-scripted stuff - stuff that wouldve been on the Unscripted Channel normally. And that content featuring I&A will slowly vanish or hardly be there. That might sound irrational but those feelings are also valid. When the cast wasn't in a few new sketches, they were still around Pit and Games, so we wouldn't worry over not seeing them anymore. If the Scripted content vanishes, people are worried over losing I&A content. Seems irrational, i totally get that. But it is what it is.
I'm not trying to alienate between both "sides", pls believe me. I absolute adore the cast and love many scripted formats they had during Anthony's absence.
I just want both concepts to co-exist and not be shamed for still loving I&A and the kinda neat thing of Main = Scripted feat I&A and the cast, Pit/Games = Unscripted feat cast and I&A. To me that seems perfectly balanced and idk why they would mix that up.
Pls understand that I'm not having ill intentions, I've watched Smosh through sooo many changes since 2006 and stayed watching. I personally never shamed any person that mourned cast being gone from main for a while.
(Then again, who knows what the announcement will bring and maybe I'll feel sooo silly over all this š¬)
I have a feeling you chose that wording (rubbing you the wrong way) because I used it the way i did, I apologize. I meant that it rubs me the wrong way how people have prejudice against people that like I&A and think they must hate the cast or that they shame those people.
#i dont want any beef š„¹#i mean no disrespect to the cast i promise. go through my blog theres lotsa love for the smosh dads but ALSO the cast.#I'm not pitting them against each other#maybe I'm simply. bad at english. i apologize#yiinc.txt#asks#anon#delete later tbh
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LISTENING TO SHADE ON LOOP, LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO š„š„š„
#leaf yapping#actually please do not perceive me i just wanna ramble somewhere#I WAS SURPRISED AT HOW GOOD IT SOUNDED#FJSJDAJS ALBAAAAAAN šš HE IMPROVED SO MUCH AT SINGING#he sounds sooooo good š„¹š„¹ his range was so fun and i loved hearing it go up and down#when he said āyeah cuz i dont really think thats what you wanna sayā??? I WAS SURPRISED BY HIS TONE#its so very endearing to me though š„¹š„¹#genuinely he and claude mix so well together#also the ART???#TENCHOU PUNK OUTFIT???? TSKR šš#I AM. SCREAMING OVER THIS.#WANT THAT OUTFIT FR. AND HIS CURLY HAIR WITH A BANDANA???? LITERALLY CHEFS KISS#i find it so funny that he was just in his konbini outfit šš#YOU DONT LOOK TOUGH YOU LOOK LIKE YOURE ABOUT TO CLOCK IN TO YOUR 9 TO 5 CONVENIENCE STORE JOB#anyways im gonna loop this song forever
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i love her so much šššš girl what in my post made you reply with this... i love you. i love you. talk at me forever. let me know every random thought you have. i was made to listen to you ā„ļø im a machine and my only purpose is to be a fun conversation partner. someone you can rant at... someone who can cough up something to further entertain your thoughts... "any input?" yes ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø thank you for valuing my opinion
#txt#when i am so worthless compared to YOU ā„ļø#sorry i really like her SHES SO FUNNY. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO ME...? I LOVE HER#the post she commented this on. i was going on abt how i was yrying to make a meet the artist for the first time... and how ive always wante#d to#AND THIS ID ACTUALLY THE SECOND COMMENT SHE LEFT ON THE POST.#the first one she said SHED MADE A FEW MEET THE ARTIST THINGS HERSELF BUT DELETED THEM ALL ššššššš GIRL... NOOOOOOOOO#sad face#and then she decided to comment this š„¹#im really into her#ALSO QHY CAUCASIANS WHY NOT WHITE PEOPLEšššši really really love her SHES CHARMED MEEEEEE#shes so funny i love her. she really makes me smile#'we arent the best at thats' thats? oh girl... snifdle. you dont know what youre DOING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND she has brown eyes#PLEASE
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omw to the club hoping they play tyrant - beyoncƩ because the intro reminds me of kevin day in tsc. some of us are beyond saving
#š„¹ kevin day one by one you hang them high your hands are steady and you sleep at night#how did u turn ur heart to stone????? i dont want him back but i cant let goā¼ļø#hangman answer me nowā¦ u owe me a debt u stole him from meā¦ i hated u once i envied u now šš½ just tell me how!#ITS JEAN @ HIM. to me.#also the rest of the song but for other reasons#txt#kevin
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when all the ideas come to you faster than you can type but you have to get it down so the doc now looks like chunks of red paragraphs barely cohesive and without punctuation but the Thoughts are there and thatās what matters š„²
#finished 3/6 !!!! officially !!! unedited hehe#the first 2 scenes are super polished alr#i think ill just continue writing tho then do chunks of editing when im done#bc i feel like going back and forth writing new scenes and editing previous ones kinda slows my progress#started on the 4th scene too and got an influx of ideas ksndkd like the flow of everything but it all happened so fast#and i am now squeezed and too tired to finish it#i feel like ā¦ā¦.. col 4 will come out next week and thats final JALXMKANZNS#i can finish it this week but i kind of want it to sit with me for a bit so i can let it simmer and take my time editing#because im really enjoying writing it actually š„ŗ#i get so deep into it every time im writing š„¹#my only fear now is that itās boring šššš or that ā¦ i had all these themes in mind but they dont come across š#it is the longest piece of fiction i have written thats for sure#jakxnwkcnks#i talked so much again#shotorus.process
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