#i dont want to be alone anymore

[talesofanautisticwoman]

A lil messy rant

So i hit a milestone today. I applied for a job since i'm starting my gap year. It's a temporary employment agency.. so you end up in different places and gets assigned different tasks depending on where it is. I hope i get the job to be honest... i really want to earn my own money. I have felt like a failure because i didn't have a part time job when i was a teenager. I still feel like i lack in so many aspects of life regarding relationships, friendgroups, work, education etc. I really need an extra push to get out of my comfort zone, which my parents does a lot. It's mostly my dad, i feel like he gaslights me a lot regarding my struggles. So much so that i don't even talk about my problems anymore to anyone really. I feel like every person has a person to talk to in their life and rant to (i know i'm not the only one). I don't want to burden anyone with my problems and struggles, so i just keep it to myself.

[3nders]

fuck. fuck

gotta fucking adore getting a mem that makes you want to full on break in the middle of work and just. having to push through like nothing is wrong /sarc

godsdamnit i hate- being alone. i hate it. it only reminds me of being left behind.

reminds me of the echoes of bad shit

fucking. ashton memories. hurt. i dont even have any of the hells around me anymore to reassure myself I'm not alone because i fucking am alone now. i am.

they didn't leave me. i know they didnt. but right now i feel so painfully alone and i hate the vulnerability

[kyleecarrigan]

Idk y’all. i fee like the burnout is real bad rn. Even my breaks from work arent breaks. I desperately need to learn how to relax.

[nachtnabelle]

how much longer do i need to feel this way?

[winterslonelysoldier]

.

[wtfforged]

[jouyato]

star-crossed..... or one might say, missile-crossed lovers

pose based off of this lol. my brain was like "brrrr burda dying in the missile" "and they were colleagues"

[lobotomy-lady]

I don't care how many times the rich & famous talk about how being rich & famous is the worst fate humanly possible I will never ever ever believe them for one milisecond lol

[noname-404s-blog]

[tcustodisart]

Post Shadowfell feels :3

[skunkes]

[madhatter30]

I don't want to try anymore. Its like "whats even the point?" Nothing is ever going to work. Im never going ro get better. To be better. I've been trying so hard to get better, to not let my mind control me, but just when I think things are starting to improve I snap and end up right back where I started. Nothing is ever going to get better. I'm a lost cause. I'm too broken. I have too many problems. But it's all my own fault anyway. I wouldn't have any problems if I just tried harder. I wouldn't have an eating disorder if I just ate. I wouldn't have anxiety if I didn't dwell on the future. I wouldn't have depression if I didn't dwell on the past. The solution is to just be in the present. I don't seem like I have autism so it's probably not even real. I should just be normal. I just need to be better. It's not that difficult. I wouldn't be exhausted from trying to fix my problems if I didn't create them to start with. I don't have trauma, I'm just overreacting. Nothing even happened. I should stop wasting everyone's time telling them about my problems. I should tell them I'm better then leave so they don't have to deal with me anymore.

[3-aem]

im bored of animal crossing will be drawing gj again will be mental illness-ing once more.

[agoraphobia-anxiety]

Will you remember me?

[hella1975]

would you like to talk about how bad the mha ending was hella

as much as i would love to give like. a comprehensive response i genuinely dont think i can get my words together just yet without it being a constant unintelligble stream of 'AND ANOTHER THING-' and bc it's become quite torn in the fandom on if the chapter was good or bad i want like. an actual coherent response here. so i will reblog this if/when i can word it but know IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY

[greatalastoraltruist]

So we know Alastor and Lilith disappeared at the same time 7 years ago. And we know that Lucifer had a meeting with Heaven which began the exterminations. We don't know when that happened though. Either they're not mentioning when the exterminations started because they've always happened or because revealing when they started would give too much away and make it too easy to guess things. All Charlie knows is that Lucifer went to the meeting and she assumes he gave the go ahead for exterminations. But the exterminations haven't always happened. They only started after the angels, or specifically Sera I think considering no other angels knew about it, became afraid of the power and influence Lilith had over the demons.

My current theory is that that meeting was called between Sera, Adam, and Lucifer because Alastor and Lilith were planning on working together with him broadcasting her voice on his radio station to inspire the other demons to rise to war against the angels. I think Sera demanded that Lilith and Alastor be separated with Lilith making a deal with Adam to stay in heaven where she can't empower any other demons with her voice or even contact anyone in hell and that Sera demanded the exterminations happen as well in order to not only lessen the demons' power but also instill fear in them in an attempt to prevent future uprisings. I think Alastor was given the options of either be killed or sign a contract limiting his power and requiring him to stay away for a while so that their little idea of rebellion is forgotten amongst the masses. I especially think that because of Zestial's comment about folks thinking Alastor had fallen to holy arms. Maybe Sera is his contract holder. That or they tried to straight up kill him and he somehow escaped barely alive and it's taken this long for him to heal and regain enough power for him to feel comfortable revealing himself to society. But trying to kill him wouldn't explain the contact or his need to 'unclip his wings'.