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yandere-monoma · 1 year ago

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WHOOO KYM 2 COMMENTARY while i stall on working on kym 7

lots to discuss about a chapter literally called 'the exposition' hjgkfsg. if you didnt know, the way ao3 multichap updates works is that you dont necessarily have to title a oneshot chapter but the second you update it, you really get shown the option to title your chapters. so it didnt actually occur to me that i needed names for each one until chapter 2. i believe originally i was going to use a similar system as kyd where every chapter title was a command a la homestuck. however, i wasn't really utilizing the commands in the same way, i didn't really end the previous chapter with one and the plan for the next chapter... technically involves a command but not one i wanted to spoil via the chapter title.

the current naming system came into existence probably 3/4s of the way or more into writing this chapter, once i made the realization that the fic was, in fact, going to be at least five chapters. at this point in time, the plan was the following: the introduction, the exposition, the climax, the ending, the epilogue. this changed even more as time went on and more chapter ideas rudely crammed themselves into my brain, though it helped the structure a lot, because giving me time to fill out the space between exposition and climax made my brain happy HJSKFG

so, moving on, the fun part about chap 2 is that it really establishes the 'narration' as its own living function, something that is vaguely independent of the story rather than just a tool to present the story with, that both voices the author's and the character's thoughts depending on who is grabbing for control. this isn't an aspect i planned when outlining the fic but it's definitely influenced by 1) how much fun i had reading the epilogues and subsequent epilogue flavored fics 2) my desire to find some way to one-up the first chapter despite the topic matter not being nearly as extreme 3) the impulse to add in another experimental element to the story, especially now that the more abstract and poetic style of the first chapter was being removed

it's also incredibly fun to play with, because every time i struggled with describing something or wondered how i could transition from one point to the other, i realized - oh! i can just make the narrator state that very thing. don't know how i'm gonna build up from the end of chap 1 to the narrative goal of chap 2 (rose's mkultra moment)??? let's just get that all out in the open, then! problem SOLVED

it ended up being a hugely fun choice that allowed me to inject some humor into what's otherwise just a big ole pile o' unrelenting angst. it also helped me take myself less seriously, which lent me even more creative freedom than usual, like. GOD. it really helped turn this piece into something so rewarding, it overwhelms me. goddamnit homestuck why do you have to be so good

i just rewatched butterfly effect recently, god. back to the future i've never seen though. time references haha get it cuz his aspect is still time-

speaking of time, this chapter was the first attempt to really try and describe a zeta kid's classpect without coming out and stating it. there's a few interpretations of different phenomena's in homestuck that point out the implication of classpect powers being active before reaching god tier, or even before entering the game (though, usually in a way that is incredibly weak, premature and subtle enough to be missed by the user). one of the strongest examples that i based this chapter on was something the epilogues described: the idea that rose's obsessive writing as a child was based on her light powers feeding her vague visions of her future character arcs and plotlines. i really loved that and wanted a similar sort of plight for dave. i'll go off about what his specific title is at the end of this chapter but it's really fun poking at it now and then

the multiple narrators? seriously??? bit was me realizing i had to add a Multiple Narrators tag on ao3 after this. at this point of writing, i had no idea if i would be visiting anyone else's pov besides dave's, though.

attempt at homestuckian humor GO

™️ jokes are so funny to me for no reason

wink wink hint hint this is one of dave's powers at work, actually!! so, dave egbert actually has a perfect memory. like, there is not a single thing he's ever forgotten in his life, if he's experienced it, he can recollect that knowledge. this power also extends to the imaginary, the subconscious, and the supernatural, ie: in the event that dave experiences any visions of the future, he will retain that information. likewise, he has memories of every dream and nightmare he's ever had. which is fun because considering he's a dersite and also a time player and also dave, he has a lot of them HAHA. more on that later

The two of you had hit it off instantly despite this, like you had known each other your entire lives, like any and every other relationship that had come before it had merely been a warm-up for the monumental connection that would spark instantly between you both. ... You’re pretty convinced she’s your soulmate. If not that, you’re at least assured by the fact that you’re absolutely head over heels in love with her.

sentences i had so much fun writing knowing how badly it's going to mess dave up to learn that they're actually related HA HA

Especially at the start, Rose was mysterious and she was hilarious and she was overwhelming, the brightest thing you’ve ever had the fortune of witnessing.

get it because she's a hero of light get it she's the light of his life because shes a hero of light get it get it she's mysterious because her class mimics its opposite at the beginning of the story so everything about her pre-canon arc clings to void but she!! is bright! like light haha get i- 💥

see, reading sentences like this means i HAVE to at least write enough of their session to let dave both die and kill for his rose, like

also i need to write her killing and dying for him. well. killing for him. well.

killing.

perhaps just killing him. HAHAHA.

it is very fun to think about this because rose honestly just. does not talk about her relationship with dave much outside of mentioning that they're together. her narrative is so focused on the things that she wants the audience to focus on, so this was such a fun chapter to reveal the things she decided isn't important enough to ever let us in on.

like, she is so adamant that bro is the only important person in her life and the only person she loves, but she deeply cares about dave. she feels the same way, that they're connected in this way she can't pinpoint or name. and claiming him is exactly the right way to put it, because i don't think she knows how to acknowledge those emotions in herself, but she knows that she needs him with her always and wants him entrapped in a way where he can't get away from her.

i think rose is just incredibly attracted to what dave represents: safety, normalcy, the mundane, a reprieve from pain, but there are things about him that she just inherently gets. he's an outsider despite how much he attempts to fit in and i think there's something about that she relates to but also wants so badly to destroy and keep for herself.

also, this is a thing that belongs more in hcs than in kym specifically, especially because i imagine this taking place way earlier in their relationship, but bro absolutely knows about her relationship with dave. it isn't a secret. it's a thing that amuses him greatly. i actually imagine she shares a lot of details about him to bro, like allowing him this voyeuristic entertainment because dave isn't a threat to him, not really, and she shares every single one of her belongings with him.

in a perfectly pornographic world the two of them would spitroast the fuck out of him but this is a partially pornographic world that involves a meaningful plotline or whatever 🙄 smh

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

this part was incredibly hard to write. not because it was difficult or emotionally taxing but because i reached this unfortunate impasse i find myself at every now and then while writing a lot of darkfic where i struggle with... it's not exactly the impulse to project, necessarily, more just.... feeling forced through into inevitability of it? or maybe it's the reluctance to use personal experiences vs the knowledge that doing it can benefit your writing (but also can hamper it).

like, very hard to write about a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies without being reminded of the time when you were a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies.

that reluctance is born from a rant i'm definitely not gonna get into unprompted but i'll just say that it definitely complicated things HAHAHA. i've definitely gone through a 'i'm going through a psychotic break and i'm going to ramble out 7835963463 crazy things into this dm window because the person on the other side said i could' phase. i've definitely just. been insane and vomited so many words out and ngl for a second there in the final draft when i was feeling too lazy to get into Stream Of Consciousness mode i was very tempted to dig up an old vent post and copypaste those thoughts in for rose but ultimately i thought that was disingenuous and a betrayal of her character SO

a fun but unexpected surprise was rose sounding far more like herself during her drugged moments of honesty. it's especially fun because even in the future when she doesn't have access to any sort of drugs or contact with bro anymore, i don't think she'll sound this much like rose lalonde either. it's like in her desperate search to find more of her brother, she's really just found a core part of herself that she doesn't have access to in this universe

'Is there a mechanical soul within me?' there is and his name is hal hi hal

it is actually incredibly fun playing with typing quirk punctuation. it's actually a style i utilized a lot in chatroom roleplay groups yeaaaaaaaaaars after homestuck ended, very much inspired by tumblr ventblogging typing styles, crytyping and all that. the idea that someone's mental state can and should be reflected in their typing style, which is something you really only see in canon in a character like gamzee (i cant remember if other trolls drop the quirk in times of duress in canon??? i think karkat drops his as a joke about volume sometimes but that's it). i don't even know if it even really comes across as blatantly as it feels when i write it, but it's so fun to see the consistencies in a way a character types slowly but surely fall apart as they grow unstable

so the way this is designed, it's as if rose had a moment of finally being in touch with the core of herself, with what ultimately makes her rose (complete with proper punctuation), before slowly but surely lapsing back into ro-stri as she loses her punctuation piece by piece, and then ultimately devolving even more as she abandons her capitalization to type in a way that's reminiscent of dave but, more importantly, bro's typing quirk

'I think there are lives inside me/the life inside me is his' is so funny to look at in hindsight. this chapter was halfway finished before the pregnancy plot had even come into being, and this was only ever supposed to be a reference to the identity blurring she's experiencing, and this half-truth, half-delusion about being able to sense everything lil cal has injected into her and her brother. it is so STRANGE to reread it now knowing that it's become foreshadowing to her pregnancy, especially with that next sentiment following it:

'Sometimes I wish it was yours'. again, that idea of being soulmates, being connected with someone permanently. and, again, that idea of codependency, and rose being unable to express or understand love without that need to merge herself with the object of her affection. and again this was befORE the pregnancy plot was a thing so now every time i read this line i sit here hoping people dont interpret it as rose wanting dave's baby HGJFKGSGSG i swear im not into breeding i sWEAR

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

DAVE IS SO CUTE I ALWAYS DIE REREADING THAT PART HE'S SO CUUUTE

also i struggle so SO much writing comfort scenes especially dialogue meant to comfort someone but this came out so easily. perhaps because it's a futile attempt and i didn't have to worry about the recipient of that comfort actually feeling soothed...? hmmm!

i have nothing to add to the romantic cannibalism confession besides :3c

i don't actually reread this chapter all that often anymore so finding this paragraph was lovely damn shoutout to this sentence that made me choke on my water as i was reading it cuz i was so distracted by how much i didnt remember writing this that i forgot to swallow and my drink just slid down into my lugnshjskdfg

then it is a series of letters in a language you wonder if she’s made up, that is somehow so cohesive in its chaos that you start to doubt even that.

more horrorterror references as if the literal last paragraph wasn't enough HAHA

a very fun part of designing and outlining the killswitch au is deciding who gets what plotline. for example, does rose strider get to go grimdark because she's rose? or does jade lalonde get to go grimdark because she's the lalonde with library access to the grimoire? unlike the characterization formula, there isn't an easy answer to this one. i'm mostly just going with what's more fun narratively and what makes a better and more cohesive storyline for the verse.

either way, though, ro-stri still has a connection with the horrorterrors, simply because she's a dersite and because i love a character that is so utterly doomed that every evil force on the face of the planet wants to take a turn on them. what's better than this... getting psychologically gangbanged by every demon in existence...

DID YOU KNOW I AM SO VERY FOND OF DAVE EGBERT AND HIS LOVELY PAPA WHO LOVES HIM SO MUCH

i am also so very fond of a dave egbert who cries alone in front of his computer cuz his girlfriend makes him so very sad every night like poor baby does Not Sleep and its so cute gjkgs

'its just prose' annoys the shit out of me to see because i wrote a similar line in a published piece of writing a couple of years ago so i can't reread this without being reminded of That hgjfkg

i will never write a strider rap i have the highest respect for any author who can but it'll never be me

their dynamic kills me HJKGFGKGS peak toxic romance right here god i wish i could write even more of it... i need to write more daverose so fucking bad....

a fun line because 1) i rly enjoy dave's half-forced half-genuine emotional voyeurism it's just a rly interesting aspect of his personality to write and 2) it's fun to have a moment with dave e's specific brand of humor since it's not as long-winded as a strider's would be

i rly forgot so much of this chapter HGFKGSGS oh dave... i love you... i love writing you so much...

stream-of-consciousness style writing is really fun like you get taken to so many unexpected places in the process. generally when i go SoC style i tend to have a few goals i want to land and this image, dave watching over rose in derse, was one of the big ones

ALSO THE IRONY OF DAVE CALLING HIMSELF HER PRINCE WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY THE PRINCE OF THE SESSION HEHEHEHEHE

the lil cal staring contest is also another big one. it's just such a fun image to allude to like goddamnit i wish i could draw. it feels like an image that i can't even really describe properly what i want it to mean because it explains itself and there's not much minutia to pry free, it's just. them. rose inexplicably and perpetually being drowned in this cancerous evil at a rate that not even dave strider got to experience.

lmfao shout out to me explaining his memory power earlier forgetting that i explain it in the chapter HJSKFG

oh well NOW I GET TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS HIS CLASSPECT

so dave egbert issssss....

🥁 [drumroll] 🥁

the MAGE OF TIME!!!!

and changing classpects actually did something incredibly interesting to the story. killswitch never would have worked as a simple homestuck rewrite, because i dont think swapping the guardians is something that can ever be simple. so it didnt make sense to keep their classpects exactly the same, because they wouldn't have the same personalities or the same backgrounds to craft those personalities, or the same issues that were born of their uniquely shitty backgrounds. it also didnt feel as easy as making rose a knight of light and dave an heir of time, etc etc. like, while rose is not insecure in the classic way that knights should be (it can be argued that the 'i am my brother' facade can count towards knighthood... but her role in the story and what it will turn into once she joins the game definitely brands her a prince through and through)

through researching for killswitch i ended up coming to this conclusion about sburb and how i approach classpect and hs narratives in general:

and because of that, it was super easy to reassign everyone based on what they've been turned into through the switch in their roles.

it also made for another easy characterization formula: their aspect represents their 'nature' while their class represents their 'nurture'. so all the zeta kids still belong to the same aspect while their class changes rapidly, though how close or how far it is from their original class really depends on their character

anyway, mage of time is an incredibly fun role that actually breaks the rewrite narrative almost more than rose's classpect does. as the mage of time, dave actually steals the cryptic psychic role from jade and john harley (though, i do have thoughts on that matter, because there is still going to be a benefit for them from having access to prospit, and that plotline will still be involved in some capacity... probably).

and it's a very fun, partially accidental discovery within the au that the zeta kids are all... just a tad more prepared to enter sburb than their predecessors. rose is completely aware of the fact that she's training for something specific and dave... dave knows that the game is coming. he doesn't know the specifics, he doesn't know that it's sburb specifically that will bring them all together, but he knows there's an it, he knows the day he'll meet all his friends in person will be a day for the history books, and he knows that rose is in danger and that he'll be able to help her in a way no one else can.

some mage of time thoughts, many of which inspired and/or describe dave egbert's storyline:

source

the above was probably one of the first interpretations i read and really what solidified him as a mage, my initial thoughts to his classpect and how it interacts with rose's was the following:

and it's just so fun GOD rly hope i get to write in his perspective more in the future

haha yeah if we ever get to it yEAH if i ever get off my ass and actually finish writing this wholeass au which i nEVER WILL CUZ I DONT WANNA WRITE 500K WORDS GODDDD IM NEVER WRITING A HOMESTUCK AU AGAAAAIINNNN

#fic: kill your masters #director's commentary #meta #verse: killswitch #rose strider #dave egbert

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spacedykez · 2 years ago

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I posted 15,611 times in 2022

That's 15,611 more posts than 2021!

4,022 posts created (26%)

11,589 posts reblogged (74%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@felicityphoenix5

@pacificseaotter

@branzypierce

@jukeboxtea

@wallace-marte

I tagged 11,408 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#pacific answers - 2,020 posts

#the otter splashes - 1,856 posts

#art - 1,459 posts

#the otterverse - 784 posts

#under the deep queue sea - 479 posts

#unreality - 447 posts

#tma - 338 posts

#me irl - 269 posts

#anon-der the sea - 265 posts

#ask games - 257 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i dont . have this right. i don’t have half the other symptoms though and i don’t have sensory issues really. i don’t think. like. i dont-

My Top Posts in 2022:

So You Want To Watch Lifesteal

It’s happened. You’ve been seeing your mutual/followed blog reblog posts about this SMP called “Lifesteal” that apparently has some sort of gay clown? You’re intruiged. Well, couldn’t hurt to check it out, right? Maybe the gays got to you. Maybe you’ve seen the crystal demon. Maybe you’ve just seen some sick art. Whatever it was, you’ve seen something that prompted you to go “huh. maybe i should check this thing out!”

Now you’re wondering- so how do I watch this thing? Where do I start? What’s it about? Never fear! You’re in exactly the right place! Here’s the post that will walk you through how to get started watching this Lifesteal SMP thing (and maybe joining in Tumblr’s collective brainrot).

What Is Lifesteal? Let’s start with the basics. Lifesteal is a Minecraft SMP- okay. Maybe not that basic. I’m sure you know the drill. So what’s the “thing” with Lifesteal, then? What’s it all about?

Lifesteal’s premise is that when you die, you lose a heart off of your permanant health bar. This one!

Now here’s the twist that makes it fun: when you kill another player, you get their heart. So if you’re both on ten hearts, and you kill someone else, their healthbar will drop to nine and yours will increase to eleven!

This is why you see so much heart imagery in fanart, and why if you see screenshots/watch videos, their health bars are rarely at ten hearts. Pretty simple, right?

Yep, mostly. Some other things you should know about the life system are that players can choose to “withdraw” their hearts, which means they remove hearts from their health by choice. They appear as nether stars in a player’s inventory. This feature is typically used for trading hearts (although usually a little more... violent) and giving hearts to allies- hearts can be stored and thrown like normal items, and a player can use the item to add a heart to their health bar (the item will vanish from their inventory).

And of course once you reach zero hearts, you’re banned from the SMP. That’s it, it’s over. Unless someone chooses to revive you. That’s pretty rare though, so mostly 0 hearts = death!

But in the cases where players are revived, it’s with the use of a special item that looks like a beacon, crafted with 4 nether stars, 4 hearts, and an elytra. Hearts in this case can function like nether stars- you can use 8 hearts and an elytra to craft the beacon. It’s very expensive, which is why it’s not used often.

Okay, great! So where do I start watching? So first, you’ll want to know that Lifesteal has four seasons so far- no! wait! don’t let that scare you off! please come back! Phew, okay. You’re still here? Alright! I was just about to tell you that you don’t have to watch them in order, don’t worry! You can start on Season One, but you really don’t need to. Most people start on Season 3 for The Gays™️ or Season Two for Clownpierce.

The most common recommendation you’ll see for new viewers is to watch Clownpierce and Branzy (yes, they’re the gays your dash won’t shut up about). Branzy doesn’t appear until Season 3, though, and he only has 6 Lifesteal episodes (find them here). Clown’s been here a bit longer, and you can find his videos here. Oh, and here’s the s3 branzypierce playlist.

What’s Branzypierce? Branzypierce, also known as Clownzy, is the ship name of BranzyCraft and Clownpierce. They’re the most popular ship here in the fandom, because it’s basically canon. I wish i was joking. Just. Click this.

But if you’re not interested in just Clown and Branzy, or you’ve already watched them and looking to find more people to watch, then keep on reading! There’s plenty more below. Before we get into it, if you want a list of s3 events and how to watch them, look no further than this post. And keep in mind, most Lifesteal videos are self-contained enough that you can watch them without prior knowledge! You almost don’t even have to watch anyone’s series in order from what I’ve found.

Starting us off, just. Ashswagg. Communism and God. I really can’t explain him to you just please go watch it. It’s only three videos I promise.

Okay, okay, now go HERE to find more channel recommendations. I would link them below, but it’d just be copying the post. my personal advice: rekrap for escapes, clown for pvp, parrot for strategy, yeahjaron for minecraft farms, reddoons for capitalism, ashwag for communism/god, and branzy for the gays! have fun!

Side note: I would not reccommend you start with this, but if you want to here is all of S3 in order!

And oh, hey! Exclusive, just for you! Here’s a quick post with other fun duos besides Branzypierce!

What about Season 4? You may have noticed that all the links led to S3 playlists. Good job! That’s because S4 has just started and there’s not much content. Before you get into S4, you should know there’s a new system implemented that limits the armor and tools players can get- info here.

Now how to watch it? The s4 playlist, or go here! It’s got everything you need. There’s not much so far, though, so I wouldn’t try to watch it if you’re just looking to get into Lifesteal in general! Watch s3 to get content!

Do any of them stream? Yes! Not all of them do, but there are a good few Lifesteal streamers. First up, ItzSubz has Something going on over there, so go check that out. And Don Turnt streams Lifesteal fairly often. Not sure if any of the others stream regularly, but here’s the list of all their channels!

Alright, so where do I go for Tumblr content? Woo, you’ve been dragged in! You’ve checked out a couple videos! Now please, step right up to a list that is rapidly growing as Lifesteal skyrockets in popularity here on Tumblr!

Looking for incredible art? Our two main dedicated and amazing artists are @kishdoodles and @ghostpajamas, who are probably responsible for dragging most of us here (/lh! thanks guys! you’re awesome!)

If you have questions or want to know more about Lifesteal, I’d reccommend Ghost and @branzypierce, who I will never stop promoting as our resident experts. I’ve heard @rendogdomesticated also knows quite a bit, especially when it comes to Subz!

(a/n: please add onto this list! the four users i’ve linked are the blogs i know of who i see posting Lifesteal content and who know more in-depth information about Lifesteal. I will add more blogs to this list, and I’m very sorry if I missed anyone!)

That’s it, folks! I’m sure more information will be added to this post as is needed! Anything I should add? Let me know!

1,278 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

i love you new hanging signs i love you new bamboo block i love you camels i love you tiny updates i love you promising only things that can actually be delivered i love you actual communication i love you sniffer i love you removeable books i love you quality of life updates i love you small additions i love you i love you I LOVE YOU

1,485 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

saying my preemptive fuck you to twitter. in this house we stan scott smajor and i will not hear a word against him for this. WE LOVE SCOTT SMAJOR. YOU AGREE. REBLOG.

2,396 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

cackling maniacally as i watch a mutual's post get popular while i myself can proudly say i have never had a post breach containment

7,507 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

start normalizing long hair as androgynous. long hair can be gender-neutral too.

36,828 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the otter splashes #I REBLOGGED THINGS FROM MYSELF LMAO #also the longest tag is me questioning if i have autism #i DON'T btw

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beeseverywhen · 1 year ago

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you’re welcome! yeah it’s very much about getting the ball rolling. once you’ve found people, they’ll follow you and see work as soon as you post, and at that point those followers do the work for you. with reblogs you get a bit of a compound interest effect, the first few reblogs are the hardest but once you’ve got those and your work is out there, the next ones come a lot easier. thats why its so much easier once youve already found your followers, cause they are gonna see your stuff when its just posted on their dash and (hopefully share) i dont know if youve seen the post floating around explaining the reblog chart and how it relates to sharing art but yeah, the effect is very much exponential

the other thing is that different fandoms/areas of interest tag in different ways, so once youve found those ppl you’ll be able to widen your reach by using different tags than the ones you might have initially thought of (so like there are tags for each version of the same name, and one may be way more popular than the others). the one thing i would recommend is having an easy way for ppl who come across your blog to find any of your art. a pinned masterlist works well, as does using one tag for all of your work (so like ‘#[myblogname]’s art’] (the search function/tagging is a little broken lol so the masterlist is a useful backup but this usually works)

people love to complain (loudly) and they love to point out the differences but largely, yeah it works the same as any website lol

#i've rambled loads so i'll stop here but yeah. good luck!#if you are posting fanart make sure you tag with the characters name and the name of whatever they are from #you dont want a whole wall of tags but making sure it ends up in the relavant tags is only gonna help ppl find you #for non fandom stuff you can tag with art. artists on tumblr. and the art style ect #for fandom stuff its mainly about making sure that fandom are gonna find it. but also like theres a tag for fanart that i see a lot of ppl #tag with. its definitely a time thing tho!#something i really dont see a lot of ppl mention with this stuff is how long a lot of ppl have been on this site?#like a huge proportion of users have been here for a decade +#so of course theyve got a larger number of followers and find it easier to get their stuff out there!#best bit of advice is: dont let the negative stuff get to you too much. ppl love to make negative generalisations lol #but if you look. there are 100% ppl out there who are willing to help & can offer advice that'll be gold. so dont be shy!#most ppl want to help. they just sometimes get talked over by ppl who are mad about something else

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pictureday2005 · 2 years ago

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hi new followers!!! this blog is run almost entirely via a queue. i have posts scheduled for holidays as well. most of the found images are from flickr and archived blogs/personal websites. if you see an image thats yours and would like it removed or credited, dont hesitate to shoot me an ask or a message!

i dont care who follows, as long as theres no nsfw on the blog you reblog to! age regressors, c/gl, ab/dl and babyfur are all welcome here*, but considering this blog relates to my actual childhood id really really appreciate it if you only reblog these onto sfw blogs!!!

you can call me Care! i was born in 99' and lived in new england so most of the posts will usually have that sort of vibe about them.

i especially love build a bear, littlest pet shop, american girl dolls, sandylion stickers, humongous entertainment and all things spooky scary!

my webkinz helping paws code: TPSKMR

spotify playlist can be found here

pinterest and tiktok usernames are the same as here!

tags i use: (some may be blank, the queue will kick them through eventually)

#outside

#day out (stores and stuff)

#rainy

#summer

#vacation

#roadtrip

#the great escape (childhood six flags, but most posts will likely not be from the actual park)

#sleepover (images that just have the vibe. you know what i mean)

#backyard

#fourth of july

#fall

#halloween

#trick or treat! (decor and candy)

#classroom (actual rooms snd things youd find in a classroom)

#snack time (food)

#playground

#indoor recess (its rainy out!)

#silent reading (books)

#daycare

#sunday school

#winter

#christmas

#snow day (home from school)

#sick day (same as last)

#cartoons

#vcr (and vhs tapes)

#spring

#easter

#birthday party

#playdate (feels like friends houses)

#home (feels like my childhood home)

#goodnight (bedding and stuffed animals)

#good morning

#toybox

#littlest pet shop

#my little pony

#boardgames

#playroom

#stuffed animals

#blues clues

#bear in the big blue house

#bedroom

#aunties house (lumped two of my aunts into this)

#aunt saras (my dads sister, lives in their childhood home)

#grammys house

#dads house

#evelyn (old friend who passed in 2006)

i will also occasionally tag years, even if they arent mentioned in the post. they will likely be incorrect, but they make me think of that year!

ill add to this as i go!

* this, of course, excludes "maps/nomaps", and sexual babyfurs/cub. i will not tolerate any sexual content (functional included) those who cannot consent, nor those making/consuming this content. this, of course, extends to proshippers as well. i am not interested in sparking a discussion on the subject. you will be blocked on site.

those experiencing dangerous paraphilias are encouraged to reach out to a mental health professional. most of these are rooted in childhood abuse, and there are people who are more than willing to help you process these experiences, and you could be saving the life of another potential victim. you can end the cycle of trauma. there is no shame in finding help.

#pinned

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free-pool-trash · 4 years ago

Text

happiness - peter maximoff

yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻

!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!

word count: 5k <3 😳

warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is

feedback is appreciated <3

tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)

masterlist

haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime

leave it all behind

& there is happiness

Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.

There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.

He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.

Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?

It was only when he’d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.

And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.

Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.

Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.

His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.

He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.

When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.

But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.

It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.

That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.

You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.

That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.

As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.

Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.

Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.

But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.

“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.

He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.

With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.

It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.

“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.

The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.

What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.

There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.

Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.

You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.

In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.

As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”

The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.

Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.

While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.

“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.

For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.

He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.

If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.

If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.

You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.

“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.

“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.

In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.

“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.

Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.

His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.

As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.

Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.

Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.

You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.

However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.

Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.

You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.

With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.

“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.

Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.

It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.

You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.

“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.

“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.

“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.

“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.

“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.

“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.

“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.

Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.

Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”

Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.

“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.

“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.

You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”

Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”

“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.

Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”

A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.

“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.

“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”

“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.

Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.

“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.

“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.

Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”

Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.

You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.

��About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.

Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.

“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.

A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.

“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.

“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.

You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”

“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.

“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.

His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”

Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.

It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.

Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.

His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.

With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.

#peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wandavision x reader #wandavision spoilers #x men x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #mcu #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader

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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

Text

two tails | reader x minho |

One

Pairing: self insert, female reader x lee minho

Genre: strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, fluff

Tags: neighbors au, comfort fic, catowner!minho, catowner!reader, author!reader, bestfriend!seungmin, agedup!skz, slow burn, plot-driven, gradual romance, meet cute scenarios, lil bit of angst, strained parental relationship, explicit language

Word count: 3.9k

Chapters

P | ONE | TWO

homebody noun

: one whose life centers around the home.

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Grocery stores are a cursed place. Horrible. You might have guessed that if there were to be a special layer of hell to be reserved for you (which you sure as hell wished there wasn’t) it would likely be a grocery store.

Firstly, they are one of the messiest places that you could ever experience. Have you seen the ways that those beige-y grey floors get caked with dirt and smudges from who knows what? Have you seen the dirt and grime that hides under those produce shelves? Secondly, why is it that everyone always feels the need to get so close to eachother crammed in those isles? Why is it that you have to do that awkward shuffle when your cart and someone else’s cart gets in each other’s way and you have to do the “no you go first” and “no, you go first.”

You prayed that you had been good enough in this life to escape some kind of grocery-store induced hellscape.

Partly it was Bomi’s fault. Temperamental nuisance. Three days into her newest bag of cat food and she suddenly decided to go on a hunger strike. The internet had told you that perhaps she just didn’t like the flavor. Little did the internet know that you had nearly already tried every other flavor there was, even the expensive ones.

You stared down to your crinkled up list filled with the ramblings of an attempted grocery list and other absentminded doodles.

DONT FORGET STUPID NEW CAT FOOD

Under the reminder, you had drawn an angry little cat face with Bomi’s characteristic calico facial splotches.

“Damn cat. You’re lucky that I still love you.” You uttered under your breath.

The wheels of your cart screeched as you turned the corner into the pet isle. Of course, you were the lucky one that had to pick the cart that had only three functioning wheels and whined like your mother over the phone. You cringed to yourself, bearing through the sound and the two glances from a mother and her child throwing an obscenely large bag of dog food into their totally normal cart.

You didn’t need to, but you mouthed a tiny “sorry” to them as you passed them.

The tall metal racks appeared to touch those flickering fluorescent lights above them as you perused them, glancing over all of the brands which you had undoubtedly purchased one time or the other.

Tuna, salmon, tuna and salmon, tuna and veggies, salmon and veggies...

What would it be that Bomi would tolerate this time? Was it grains that she didn’t like? Wet food?

Merely looking at the prices for the canned cat food sprung such a headache that you wished you hadn’t looked at them at all. But, if it was what your princess would eat...

On the highest shelf, your gaze caught a brand that you hadn’t seen before, so you summoned your strength to stand on your tip-toes, stretching up your arm as far as you possibly could, teetering just a little...

“Al...most--”

“Here, I can get that, let me just--”

“--Oh no, it’s fine, I can reach it, thank you--”

“--It’s alright, I’ve almost got it...”

His elegant fingers got tangled up with yours. Had your determination been any weaker, he would have snatched it up all himself, but...

He chuckled a little. “Are you sure?”

You turned your head to affirm, “Positiv--Minho?”

“Y/n?”

You had finally had the little can in your grasp, only to feel it slip out of your fingers in your shock.

The terrible sound of the aluminum can hitting Minho’s head and glasses bonked between your fumbling arms, working just too slow.

“Ssss-OW!”

Minho’s hand went immediately to rub at the top of his head with eyes tightly shut.

“Oh my god!!! Are you okay?”

Instinctually you swooped in to see if any harm had been done.

“Ah-I’m fine, don’t--I’m fine.”

Your neighbor patted down his head, trying to craft a smile for you under his painfully crossed brows.

“Are you sure? I-I’m so sorry. God, I’m so stupid and clumsy, don’t you think that you have a concussion or something?”

He laughed out a sharp chuckle, then winced at what the action did to his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure about that?” If he could have heard, he would have noticed your heart anxiously beating at a hundred times per second.

“It’s okay, really, I’ve had worse things thrown at my head.”

“What the hell could be worse???”

“You don’t want to know.” He maintained his hopeful grin.

Even after being assaulted by cat food, he was still just as beautiful as you remembered.

“Oh! Your glasses!! Where did those go??”

Frantically, you spun around, shoving your cart aside with another startling screee. Quickly you found them nearest the bird seed.

“Here. Here you go, I hope that they’re not broken.”

“Mm-doesn’t look like it.” Minho inspected them.

“Oh thank God.”

He huffed out one more little scoff-sounding laugh. “At least you’ve got the cat food that you wanted now.

“Yeah, but at what cost?”

“I said don’t worry about me.”

Minho fluffed his hair back into place, likely hiding another rub to his throbbing head.

What even does one say to someone who you nearly wrecked with cat food?

“You uhh--what are you doing here?”

“The same as you, getting cat food.” Minho snatched a bag of food from a lower shelf. “With three mouths to feed you tend to run out pretty fast.”

“Oh! I-uh...can imagine.”

“Weird shopping here like I live here now...never thought that would happen. I’m still getting used to everything around here; never knew that I would end up back living with my mom...and at my age.”

“Don’t-don’t feel bad! It’s a nice area around here! At least I think, and it’s a... nice grocery store...”

You did not think that it was a nice grocery store, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Minho smiled back at you warmly, just as he had done back on your doorstep, tabby cat in his arms. You had wanted to see it again.

“-Guess that means I’ll be seeing you around here more often too then.” He took the cat food can--his ex-assailant-- to drop into your cart.

“I guess so...and sorry, again.”

“Really don’t worry about it!” Minho rolled up his hands into little sweater paws on the handle of his cart. “I’ll see you later then.”

“See...you...”

Your words trailed behind him, seeing as he had already started wheeling away. As soon as he was out of an earshot, you cursed yourself out terribly--another habit you had developed since living alone; you really were your only company.

“God, Oh god. Now he thinks that I’m a recluse and a wreck, oh god--”

“--Hey! Watch where you’re going!!”

An old man with a newsboy cap griped before you nearly collided with him and his cart full of diet sodas.

“Sorry!! I’m so sorry!” You bowed profusely in apology while removing yourself from the isle as fast as you could.

Grocery stores really were your own kind of personal hell.

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

The cold metal of the bus stop sign dissolved into your sweating forehead while you watched the springtime sunset fade out before you. It really was pretty, and it was just enough to distract you from how weighed down your backpack and numerous reusable bags felt. Had your hands been free, you would have taken a picture.

What time is it even?

Your watch was restricted by the number of straps around your wrists. Sometimes stepping outside of your home and onto the sidewalk was draining enough to make you feel like scurrying back inside. Big trips like this however, had you falling asleep in those uncomfy plastic chairs in (also) disgustingly messy buses.

To your right, you heard the usual hum of the number 10 bus wheel up.

“Wait! Wait!! Hold the bus!!”

Hurried footsteps came patting behind you, followed with shallow running breaths.

Hair bopping and cardigan flopping a little like wings behind him, Minho sprinted to the doors.

“Take a seat ma’am.” The bust driver snapped you out of your embarrassment over seeing him one more time than you would have liked.

“Ah-sorry, I will.”

You shuffled your way near back of the bus and attempted to hide your face behind your bags decorated with none other than flowers and cartoon cats.

“Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.” You chanted under your breath while your neighbor looked for a seat.

“Y/n? Heh, I just keeping running into you don’t I?”

“Minho!!!!” You piped, just a little too animatedly. “Huh! Didn’t figure I would see you here...too...”

Minho slid into the booth across from you. “I mean, it makes sense, we’re going to the same place basically.”

“Don’t you...have a car or something?”

“I do, but I figured that the grocery store was close enough, although, I didn’t really factor in how all of this would weigh a ton.”

“Hm, I never really do as well.”

A pair of older lades glared over at the two of you, clearly displeased that you were disrupting their peaceful bus ride. Minho cowered under their piercing and aged brown eyes, then stealthily slid into the seat next to you.

His washed out jeans brushed up against your leggings, and you felt your hairs stand on end. If there was someone out there who decided if you went to a hellscape grocery store, they must have also been able to mask the smell of your sweat. You hoped that they were listening to your pleading requests.

“It’s a really a nice evening isn’t it?”

Minho peered out your window at the little shops and bustling streets beside you. The sidewalks were decorated with little skinny trees here and there which had just started to bloom with the buds of leaves and flowers. There was a peaceful air about the scene that reminded everyone that the cold would soon be gone for good, and the sky swirled into pinks and purples.

“Oh! Yes, yes it is.”

You tried your best to ignore the fact he was leaning into you slightly.

“So. What else do you do besides be a cat parent and a part-time chucker of canned goods?”

You wanted to crawl in a hole once you saw his adorable grin once more. “I-I have a job, a couple actually.”

“A couple? And what are they?”

“I teach online college courses in creative writing and English.” your glasses fell a little down your nose bridge, so you adjusted them accordingly, “I also edit for a small publishing company--but that’s more of a side thing.”

“That’s...a lot of writing and things like that.”

“Well, it’s what I went to school for, and, I don’t mind...although my mother--”

“--Have you written anything yourself? Anything that I could read?”

You felt your cheeks set ablaze with heat. “You?! Oh no no no no.”

“What?” A mischievous grin overtook Minho’s adorable one. “Do you write provocative content?”

“No! I do not!” Your tone turned more defensive than you had intended.

“Well, what do you write? Even if you did write that kind of stuff, I wouldn’t mind. Provocative contents are trendy these days.”

“I didn’t even say that I write in the first place!”

“I just assumed seeing as you seem to do other things in this field...so, what do you write?”

“It’s embarrassing, and I don’t owe you the knowledge!!”

Minho reached over your fuming body to pull at the bus cord, letting out the little stop requested tune.

“What is it that you do then?”

“Something boring and business-y that you wouldn’t care to know about. It’s definitely not as interesting as what you do I’m sure.”

Your neighbor gathered up his bags while the bus slowed to the stop.

“You coming?”

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

[19:07]

me: seung, i’m such a fool. you will not believe

seungmo: should I even guess? what? Bomi yack during your online lecture again?

me: no, worse.

seungmo: i’m listening.

i guess i don’t really have a choice though don’t I?

you’re just gonna tell me anyway aren’t you?

The cat in question purred in your lap, permitting you your usual one hour of cat-attention a day like she would during the evenings. After your day of embarrassment, you had hunkered down on your favorite place on the couch, swaddled in blankets with the TV playing some nature show that you had been trying to pay attention to. Somehow, the thought that Minho living just doors away made it all seem even worse; you were bound to see him again.

You bit your lip and started tapping away at your phone screen, regaling the entire tale to your best friend--who frankly had enough of your awkward “you-isms.” However, no matter how socially insecure you were, Seungmin appeared to stick by you. In fact, it was one of your “you-isms” that had brought the two of you together.

Four years ago at that pet shelter where you had got Bomi, Seungmin was there too looking for a dog. It was Bomi’s skittish self that leapt out of her cage and into Seungmin’s arms when his dog started barking. Bomi had nearly destroyed Seungmin’s sweater by the way that she had clawed into him. Of course, you took her crime upon yourself and insisted on buying him a new sweater. After an exchange of phone numbers, he hadn’t gotten bored of you yet. Bomi had always liked him more than you--the traitor.

[19:18]

me: ...and then he showed up on the bus, just as I had thought that I had escaped, and then started berating me about what I do for a living.

seungmo: are you sure he wasn’t just asking questions, NOT berating?

me: it felt like it.

seungmo: and why are you telling me all of this?

me: bc I wanted you to give me some comfort?? or reassurance?? isn’t that what friends do?

seungmo: what do you want me to say? I’m sorry, that was really embarrassing? get over it? stuff like that happens to you all the time y/n, I don’t know why you are making such a big teal of it.

*deal of it.

me: wow, you’re being of such help.

seungmo: you’re overthinking it. as always.

me: but i’ll have to SEE HIM again.

Seungmin’s little three writing dots disappeared, and you waited in silent anxiety for what he would say next.

[19:24]

seungmo: you’ve got a crush on him don’t you

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

The evening sky had darkened, and you felt the air temperature begin to drop. It wasn’t unbearable however, and you had prepared yourself well with your giant sheep-like blanket wrapped around your shoulders. The cold wire chair that you sat in was undoubtedly pressing shapes into your bare legs crossed up on it, but you never seemed to mind it.

Bomi yowled behind the sliding glass door to your backyard, so you allowed her to exit, making her a much happier cat. The two of you enjoyed these nights together deeply--they almost felt like a brief escape from life. Bomi would sneak around the edges of the fence, sniffing and looking rather suspicious when her green eyes would glow in the light of the house. Your glasses likely looked the same reflecting the light from your computer screen.

You took one more sip of tea, then opened up your internet. A couple clicks, and you found the notification screen on your page.

hearts: 267

shares: 19

comments: 21

Your eyes scanned over the little paragraphs that some of your readers had written for you. It made your heart swell with immense joy seeing the way that they had analyzed and picked apart every little part of your prose and how they would write IN ALL CAPITIAL LETTERS about how excited they were for your next chapter.

I can’t wait for the next chapter! I’m DYING to know what was in that chest!! I really hope that Bomi can trust Davers. He just seems a little shady to me >////<

YOU’RE INSANE FOR THIS. The fact that Bomi could fight off the dragon while Blaze was confessing his feelings for her??? I could never lollll

P L E A S E protect little Herbie. He’s such a cutie. I wish that hedgehog companions were real, I would take one with me everywhereeeee

N/n, your writing is so so pretty!! I felt like I was right there in the scene with them! The way that you described the enchanted fountain had me drooling ahhh you’re such an inspiration to me as a writer!!!

Blaze fanclub?? i’m trying to see somethin’

“If Blaze were real, I’d be the president of that fanclub.” You laughed out to yourself.

Suddenly, you found you thoughts shifting from your dreamy Blaze to someone much less fictional.

Crushes on boys who were real was much better than one’s who weren’t. It was nice admitting it to yourself at last.

“Ahhhh” You sighed out, doing a little happy dance in your seat, then opened up the chat box to return to the replies.

After responding to as many as you could, you opened up a new chapter.

Chapter 22

Blaze wiped off his sword, stained with the steel blue blood of the dragon, still steaming with heat underfoot. His disheveled deep black trellises were coated in his own sweat but it didn’t make him look any less dashing--per usual.

“Princess Bomi, you still haven’t answered my question.”

Bomi sheathed her own sword, then inspected her wooden shield for any more damage. For a moment, she thought that the claw marks made it look even more beautiful and intimidating.

“Blaze. You know that I can’t talk about romance at a time like this, have you forgotten that the kingdom as stake?”

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Bomi perched at her usual spot in the window, eyes fluttering closed before she would take her nap that would last for nearly the whole afternoon. You would have been lazing with her, but that would have to wait another hour or so: with your newest paycheck, you had decided to deliver some new flowers to yourself for your garden.

The little array was spread out before you: yellow and purple pansies, pink tulips, fuchsia and baby pink peonies, and dainty while lilies of the valley were arranged where you had planned to adorn your front lawn. The aroma of the flowers lingering in the air was enough to make you feel as if you had transported yourself to the very magical gardens that you would be writing about that evening.

A pair of songbirds chittered past, carrying their whistles behind them. For a brief moment, the sun shone directly onto your arms spotted with dirt and filled your whole body with warmth. Nothing was more peaceful than this. You took to work, crackling them out of their plastic pots, and digging at the earth in holes to hold them down. After a while, you felt the dew from the grass start to soak into your work-jeans, but it was a welcome little cool feeling. Next, you popped up to hose them down with your little attachment that made the water cascade like a rain-shower. You admired for a moment how the water would create little rainbows from the spray.

“Ahem, uh-hi there!”

You choked out a gasp before swinging around, aiming the hose like your sword to the startling voice.

“STAY BACK!!’

You pointed the stream directly at them, only in your horror to see your neighbor, trademark cardigan and all, soaking wet from your weapon.

“GOD! That’s cold.”

The fabric hung onto him, adhering to every part of his body which was much more toned than you had expected.

Minho looked absolutely bewildered as the water dripped off his frame with sad little pat pat pats on the concrete sidewalk.

“Oh God. Oh God. Minho, I’m so so sorry. I-I can’t believe that I keep doing this to you--”

You nearly felt like crying, but for fear of embarrassing yourself further, you decided to turn around quickly in search of your rags. They were garden rags, but dry nonetheless.

“Here, here, I-I think that these should help.”

You dabbed at his body, although it was clear that this wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Stop, stop,” He pushed your hands away. “I just live next door, I’ll live being a little drenched.”

“You realize that's an oxymoron right?” Your nervous hands continued dabbing.

“A what??” Minho kindly laughed at your frantic hands.

“It’s a...writing thing. Sorry...”

“I really need to be careful around you don’t I?”

Your mouth crinkled into a flustered line. “M’sorry.”

“Can you quit apologizing?? Here, I came over to give you these, my mom made some extra side dishes so she wanted me to bring them over to you.”

“Oh.” He handed you the little bundle of Tupperware containers. “Thanks.”

“She also, or--I mean--I wanted to invite you over so that you could meet my cats...and! my mom. My mom too.”

“You want me to come over?”

“I did mention that I wanted to a little while ago didn’t I?”

“Oh! You did...”

“Does next Saturday work? Around 5?”

“I-I can do five.” You brushed your muddied hand across your sweating brow.

Minho scoffed, “You’ve...got something...on your...”

“Oh! Oops.” You tried your best to wipe off the dirt, but you didn’t know you had only made it worse.

Minho squeezed out his soaked sleeve to carefully raise it to your forehead. “Here, like this.”

This close to you, his brown eyes deeply shone with the color of coffee, chocolate, the bark of forest trees after a spring rain, and a million other things that your writer brain could compare them to.

“There. It’s all gone.”

For a moment, you wondered if you really had fantasized him, or if he really was real. For you, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he was some kind of figment of your imagination: they usually were.

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

[1 missed call, Mom, 09:12]

“Y/n are you there? Why is it that you never pick up your phone? I’ve told you so many times that you should pick up when I call. What if it’s an emergency? What if someone’s died?? Nevermind, I wanted to call and tell you my friend’s daughter is getting engaged and I’ve been invited to the bridal party. I think that you should come with. It’ll be good to get you out of that house.

Why is it that you haven’t gotten yourself married yet? You know that you aren’t getting any younger?? Either way, call me back. You’ll need to bring a gift too. Its impolite to show up without a gift.

Ah, I almost forgot. Your brother got a promotion at work; I’m not sure if he’s told you. We’ll be having dinner to celebrate this weekend. Can I count on you to be there?

Also, how is the job search going? Your father has some more connections for you to speak to. You need to take advantage of every one of them. You’re so close to getting something that really matters. I can feel it. Ah, I just feel like you’re wasting away there sitting at that computer with those silly classes. It’s like, barely any contribution at all. You could be making so much more money.

Anyway, call me back once you hear this.

love you sweetie, talk soon.

i know that its tuesday and i said I would publish on mondays shhh just pretend I published this yesterday ooP

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker #spiderman #spiderman imagine #spiderman x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #andrew garfield #amazing spider man #amazing spider man x reader #amazing spider man imagine #parker!reader #peter parker x sibling!reader #peter parker x sister!reader

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what-the--curtains · 4 years ago

Text

Alliance

Chapter 9 – The Hunt

(Mando x f!reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary: After recovering you set off to find the man who tried to kill you. Killing him proves to be more difficult than expected when the ones you love are threatened, and on the other side of the choice, your own future.

Authors note: One more chapter to go!! Some angst at the end here! Hope y’all enjoy ❤️❤️❤️! (I also did some very average fan art if y’all haven’t seen it yet!)

Tw: sex is alluded to (not depicted), decapitation, force choke

Word count: 4.9k

Tagged list: @crazycookiecrumbles, @seninjakitey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The planet proved harder to find than expected, despite Anya's best efforts, something was fogging up her tracking causing your coordinates to be constantly in flux. She’d easily lead you past the outer rim, but since then it had been akin to a wild goose chase.

“Any idea who tried to kill you.” Din asks, he'd been exceptionally patient throughout the journey thus far. Never questioning your methods just typing in the new location coordinates calmly and re aligning the ship on its new course.

“Did kill me” you correct, as your hand moves absentmindedly over the healed wound. “but no, I dont. They had a lightsaber though”

“Was it a Jedi?” he asks earnestly.

“Well based on the context clues, I'd definitely say at least Jedi adjacent” you laugh, for a savvy strategist who knew multiple languages you sometimes found yourself questioning if his brain was in fact functioning.

“Why would a Jedi try and kill you?”

“Your guess is as good as mine”

“How do they decide on colors?” He asks after a somewhat awkward silence

“Hmmm” you hum out in confusion, only half paying attention to what he had said.

“The light swords? Ashoka's are blue, yours is purple and the figures, well there's was red” your heart stops.

“It was red?” you ask, sitting up in your seat giving him your undivided attention.

“Ya does that mean something?” He watches your eyes slowly piecing together what he'd just told you.

“That’s impossible, the Sith were defeated. They died with the emperor.” you affirm, your sure red was a common colour used by Jedi nowadays, sure no one had ever seen one before, but there was a first time for everything right?

“So were the Jedi.” he points out.

“Do you always have to be right?” you ask slightly irritated for a reason you couldn’t quite explain. He doesn't respond; he knows a rhetorical question when he hears one but unsure what he had done to upset you. An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air, a sensation you'd never experienced with the Mandalorian before. Not wanting to stew in the quiet you head down to the lower levels and try and calm your frazzled mind. Sitting down you cross your legs, one over the other, as you close your eyes.

On the best of days meditating was a chore, but under the current situation it had become an impossible task. It wasn’t the threat of being ambushed that had you distracted, no something else was playing heavily on your mind. It was what was causing the punctuated silences, forced conversation and overall awkwardness in the atmosphere. It was your own doing. Seriously, who kisses a man whose face they've never seen! Idiots that's who and now it was stuck on your mind. In your defense you thought you wouldn't have to deal with the fallout so quickly. You should have known he’d have insisted on going with you, but you hadn't thought that far ahead, or at all and now you had to sit with the fact that you’d possibly ruined your comfortable friendship by planting one on him. Technically it wasn’t a real kiss,or maybe it was, how did Mandalorians kiss anyways? There you were down the rabbit hole again, this is why you couldn't focus, you curse yourself. Shaking your head you remind yourself it was only done in an attempt to get around him, a strategic move to protect the group, nothing more, nothing less. Keeping that in mind you manage to focus and you feel the galaxy's pulse emitting throughout the ship, inhaling and exhaling with the undulations around you.

Din, bored and missing the usually witty banter you offered him, decided it was time for him to clear the air in regards to the kiss. He hopes by telling you that he knew it was only done to get around him, you’d become more relaxed. The last thing he wanted was for you to be uncomfortable around him. He knew you'd never want to be with someone like him, at least in that way. As he turns around he sees you cross legged floating in the air, not wanting to interrupt he heads back up. Anya lifts her head as he re-enters, looking at him as if she knew what he was thinking. He’ll clear the air with you later, the two of you had plenty of time to talk.

You curse as your journey gets rerouted for what had to be the twelfth time in the past two days. Whoever was hunting you did not want to be found and no amount of swearing or whacking the console would change that. The closer you got to your destination the more you felt the malevolent presence grow. You found yourself wondering if it had always been with you, finding it hard to remember a time when it wasn't gnawing at your conscience. Each time you feel it scratching at your doors you remember Ashoka's words “be careful who you let into your head.” You'd made that mistake once with devastating consequences. You would not be making it again. Your energy was now primarily being spent keeping the presence at bay, not allowing it to penetrate any deeper than it already had. Sleeping only acted as an open invitation for the figure to torture you so you opted to forgo it altogether. Perhaps not the wisest decision, but what other choice did you have.

“The planet’s still a few days away.” Din says, noting the unraveled look in your eyes as you take your place next to him.

“Anything to do on this ship.” You ask, fidgeting in your seat. “like games or something” he doesn't respond “Hey beskar head! You awake under that helmet?”. You ask partially joking, partially annoyed that he wasn't talking to you.

“Yes.”

“Yes to games or yes to being awake?”

“To games” you smile, you never knew if he was actually making jokes or if you were just reading into it. The finer details of his personality artfully hidden beneath the metal exterior.

“Got Dejarik, you know how to play?” he asks, glad that you were back to yourself for the time being.

“I'm alright” you say smiling, you were better than alright, at least you think. To be fair you'd only ever played against one person and she was family and probably inclined to letting you win.

“You're cheating!” he exclaims, his annoyance apparent even through the modulator. Your skills were better than you expected especially after all those years, well either that or the Mandalorian was just that bad.

“How?” you ask, laughing at how frustrated he was getting. It was funny when you beat him the second time, but by gods it was even funnier when you beat him the seventh time.

“The force!” He says clenching his hand as he stares down at the board.

“I don't think the force bothers itself with helping me beat you at Dejarik.” you point out, as he grumbles something indistinguishable.

“Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are.” You tease pointing your finger at him eyebrows raised and a smirk plastered on your face.

“That’s not what I’ve been told,” he responds.

“About Dejarik or?” he laughs it off, but you seriously wanted to know the answer. After Cara told you he was allowed to have sex it was a question that you’d thought about a lot, more than you probably should have, but hey you were curious. Realizing the Mandalorian was now turning the game board over to see if it was rigged, you decide to change games.

“You still got that indestructible spear. The beskar one?” you ask nonchalantly.

“Yes, not something i'm planning on losing” he nods

“Fancy a match?” you offer you needed to work on your fighting skills, practicing on the air only went so far.

“Only if you promise not to slice through my ship.” He says, standing up.

“Only if you promise not to cry when I beat you.” you return causing him to scoff

“Oh im not going to be the one crying” he assures.

You stand in the ship's far corner across from Din who haphazardly twirls the spear in his hand as you open up your saber, raising it waiting for him to make the first move. He stays his ground, you and him were both defensive fighters and you knew he was far too stubborn to change his routine. Leaping forward you land in front of him, your saber making contact with the spear. After a few seconds spent testing his strength you know there's no feasible way for you to out muscle him. You'd have to out maneuver him. He’d seen you fight stronger opponents before so you’d have to think outside the box on this one. You move out from under the spear the release of your counter force causing Din to stumble forward. You turn aiming for his shin, but his arm reaches back the spear stopping your hit from connecting with his armour. You circle round him so you're once again face to face giving him enough time to stand back up. He turns quickly, swinging the spear as he does, aiming for your waist. You jump over the swipe landing behind him, hitting him in the back.

“Point to me.” you say

“No using the force” he says, turning to look down at you, his presence suddenly looming.

“I wasn't, I can just jump really high!” You lie.

“Likely story” he says brushing past you as he moves back to his starting spot

“What was that I said about crying earlier?” you question.

He's got you talking too long and he sweeps your feet out from under you knocking you on your ass and gently tapping you on the head with the spear.

“Point me” he says, offering you his hand.

“That was dirty” you say as he hoists you up.

“Who says we're playing clean sweetheart?” The term catches both of you off guard, but he's flustered himself more than you, allowing you to land the next two points.

“Hope your ego isn't too hurt darling.” you mock back at him as metal and light collide once again.

“It’s not over yet” he says, using all his strength to march you back towards the wall pinning you against it with his spear.

“You need to work on your attack, you leave a lot open” he says, breathing heavily.

“You need to work on a codpiece, it leaves a lot open” you retort, kneeing him in the groin, hard enough for him to drop you, but not so hard that it kept him down for long.

“Not enough beskar” he murmurs, hoping to get the last word in.

“Oh big brag for a man who just lost several games of Dejarik in a row and” your sentence is cut short as the spear taps the small of your back giving him the winning point

“And what?”

“Oh real classy Din, can’t win a fair fight” you say hand on your hip.

“It was fair considering I wasn't going 100%”

‘Oh you weren't” you mock, the smile telling him you were amused and not upset by his antics, the gentle slap on his arm further verifying this. The moments like this were nice, but as you continue to gain on your target they became fleeting. The Mandalorian watches as your ability to focus waivers, your frustration becoming increasingly evident in your training. Miraculously, you hadn't sliced through anything important, but the ship’s interior was constantly needing to be patched up. At least it kept him occupied and out of your hair. You looked like you were fighting a hidden battle, one he would gladly fight with you, if you'd let him. He didn’t know the full extent of your struggle, but he knew the anger he felt simmering inside you wasn't being aided by your refusal to sleep.

Your irritability, although caused by exerting tremendous energy keeping the figure at bay, was no excuse for the times you had lashed out at the Mandalorian. The most recent outburst occurred when he'd stepped on your foot after you had explicitly told him to watch out. In hindsight, threatening to melt his beskar down and turn it into a hearing aid for him so he could stop being such a nerf herder was a touch harsh. Alright, incredibly harsh especially considering he'd attempted to apologize before you went off on him.

“Sorry I threatened the beskar” you murmur sitting down next to him

“Are you going to tell me what's going on?” he asks

“Going on where” you ask

“Well it can't just be air in your head” he jokes, causing you to laugh for the first time in a few days.

“Seriously though , I'm sorry Ive been out of line, and it's not fair on you, you’ve been so understanding.”

“You know what might help with the outbursts?”

“A lecture?” you remark, your tone harsher than intended

“No, sleep, you should try it sometime”

“I'm fine without it” you say, the yawn escaping your lips contradicting your words.

“You should sleep.”

“ You don’t.” you remark hoping to catch him off guard, but he's obviously rehearsed this conversation a few times.

“ I don’t need to.”

“Neither do I.” You lie, almost a year later and you still had no idea how he slept so little, though your current working theory was that he would just take naps under the helmet when he thought he could get away with it.

“No, you can't sleep, there's a distinct difference.”

Not wanting to lash out at him for the third time that day and knowing he was right, you make a swift exit. You push the button that opens up to the tight sleeping quarters where you'd spent many hours lying awake. You were hoping that you'd reached an exhaustion point where your body would just shut down. You lay back on the bed not bothering with the covers, you weren't expecting to get comfortable. Anya had stopped trying to sleep in the same bed as you, usually getting inadvertently kicked or shoved out the bed by your constant movements. Your eyes can’t have been closed for more than a minute when they snap open. Despite their alertness your body's gone limp. What fresh hell was this? As your eyes adjust to the darkness you can only just make out the hauntingly familiar shape sitting at the edge of your bed. You go to call out for the Mandalorian, but no sound is emitted, nothing comes out at all not even air. You watch helplessly as the figure's arm extends ensnaring you in a choke hold, the yellow iris shining out beneath the hood, confirming your worst fear. A Sith. You scream yourself awake, the force causing items to fly to the ground, no doubt alerting the Mandalorian. You bring your knees to your chest grabbing at your scalp telling yourself it wasn’t real, but it didn't matter what you said. The truth was you couldn’t tell anymore all lines had blurred together. You get up off the bed looking around the room already exhausted at having to clean up yet another mess you had made. You lean over picking up the weapons that had fallen off the armoury hanging them back up when you hear the Mandalorian drop down the sound startling you.

“I'm sorry” you mutter embarrassed, not looking up as you move to grab the few dishes currently lying on the floor.

“What did I say about breaking the ship?” he says, chuckling slightly in an attempt to lighten the mood. He bends down to help you but you grab his arm stopping him.

“I made the mess. I'll clean it up.” You say gathering up the utensil and placing them back on the table absentmindedly stroking your throat as you turn to pick up the rest. As you reach for the chess board he grabs your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours, leading you back over to the bed.

“Get some rest, I'll clean up,” he says softly, sitting you down on the bed.

“Stop telling me what to do Din, besides it's not working.”

“You need to sleep.”

“I can’t and unless you can think up a way to make me then were shit out of luck.”

“I can think of a few ways.” he mumbles hoping it was loud enough for you to hear.

“Like what? Knocking me out with a blaster?” you scoff

“ A less violent way,” The words leave his mouth before he can fully assess the pros and cons of what he was offering to do.

“Reciting the entire code of conduct of the mandalore race to me?” Gods, how were you still not getting this.

“A less boring way.” He prays that you either catch on or he passes away suddenly so as to save him from any further embarrassment.

“Oh” you punctuate, lips parted slightly suddenly realizing exactly what was being offered to you “you think you can tire me out?”

“Only if you want.” he says, more confident now you hadn't outright rejected him

“Well I have been dying to see what’s under that armour”

“ You’ve seen it before”, and you couldn't wait to see it again.

“Not all of it”

“The helmet stays on,” he asserts.

“Not what I was referring to.” He stands there for a moment unsure how to proceed, not wanting to have misread the situation. “Well are you just going to stand there or are you not a man of your word?” That’s all the encouragement he needs.

“You want me to stop at any time, you just say so cyar’ika”

Once again the Mandalorian was right ; he was able to tire you out. Neither of you say anything after both at a loss for words, and not wanting to ruin the moment by saying the wrong thing. You fall asleep with his arm wrapped securely around your waist, as the other runs up and down your back. His heartbeat lulling you into a deep sleep, his presence managing to stay off any nightmares, at least for now.

He stays with you long after you’ve dozed off watching your back rise and fall in time with your breathing, he thanks the gods you were finally resting. He intently studies the faint purple markings covering your body, wondering how long they'd been there. His hand then tracing over the scars on your back, he wants to know how you got them. He wanted to know everything. Once this was all a distant memory he’d ask, if you chose to stick around that is. Knowing you won't want to find him in your bed when you wake up, he slides his arm from your waist and quietly, so as not to wake you, he puts his clothes back on. Re-donning his armour he heads back upstairs to check on the ship.

Your body shivers inadvertently at the loss of heat and your eyes slowly open. The room’s still dark, but the Mandalorian had gone. He must have left sometime in the night presumably his way of telling you it was a one off. Knowing Din to be a man of few words you knew talking about what had just happened was fully off the table. You sit up and stretch out, allowing your elbows to pop and your shoulders to crack as you roll them out, feeling a way that you hadn't felt in months. Well rested. Making your way over to the fresher you allow the water to wash over you removing any remaining scent attributed to the Mandalorian. After dressing you head up to the cockpit, slightly bow legged from the night before. You’d had your fair share of lovers and for a human, he was very well endowed and very eager to please.

“How far” you ask brushing any thoughts about last night from your head as you shoo Anya off your seat.

“You’re up sooner than I thought.” He says looking at you. He’d noticed the slight stagger in your walk causing him to smirk under the helmet, but the smile fades when you don’t look down.

“How far are we?” you ask again, picking up Anya who’s refused to move of her own volition.

“Close. About last night” he starts, wanting to make sure everything was okay, and that you weren’t regretting what had happened.

“ Look, we don’t have to talk about it. I know it wasn’t a big deal.” You say.

“It may not be a big deal for you.” you don't know why, but you take that tone as being pointed, referring specifically to your time spent in the rings.

“Why? because I've slept with half the galaxy? Something I did in order to survive an environment let’s not forget you put me in?” you spit out

“ No, I-I didn’t mean,” he starts. It's the first time you've ever heard him stumble over his words.

“ You never do.” You say, shutting him up for the remainder of the trip.

“Dropping out now.’ He says, 5 days, that's how long it had taken to get to where you were going, whoever was on the planet was committed to not being found, or at least committed to having you as sleep deprived as possible.

You step out with the Mandalorian close behind you, the planet's surface reflecting the ship's underlights back into its metal exterior. The mirrored rock had sprouted out into various forms and sharp geometric shapes, resulting in a beautiful, but sinister skyline.

“You sure this is the place? Doesn't look like any living thing could survive here.”

“Yes, I can sense a disturbance. You stay here with Anya.” you say placing a hand on his chest plate.

“No way.” Din responds

“I have to do this alone. It's too dangerous for you.”

“For me?” he says in disbelief.

“Wait here if i'm not back within the hour, leave.” You state ignoring his last question.

“ I'll give you two for good measure” he offers, holding out a blaster for you to take.

“It won't help.” You say pushing it back towards him before pulling up your hood and setting off into the unknown. Once he's sure you're out of sight, he follows you.

You close your eyes, letting your senses lead you through the sharpened planet careful not to cut yourself on the dark obsidian refelcting blurred images of the stars. A rock snaps under your foot and your eyes open. A voice calls out to you, uttering your name.

“Who are you.” you ask aloud, turning to face the cloaked figure who stands before you.

“ That is not important” he answers, lips not moving. Telepathy. So that’s how he'd gotten into your head.

“You tried to kill me I think it's at least relevant.” You return in thought.

“You came alone.” he asks, yellow eyes darting from side to side, despite the power this figure held you send a nervousness harboured deep within him, perhaps you should have brought the Mandalorian along with you.

“ Yes” you lie, hoping your force was strong enough to shield the bounty hunter.

“Good.” he snarled.

“Why did you kill me.” you ask not wanting to beat around the bush

“To see if I could. I needed to see your abilities, you’re stronger than I thought if you brought yourself back to life. The empire is rebuilding”, he offers not clearing the situation up in the least

“The empire died with Palpatine, they’re nothing but warmongering desolates now” you say shaking your head, not believing you had flown halfway across the galaxy for this.

“That’s what they have told you. We have been growing an army, led by the spirit of the emperor. We are seeking those with your abilities to help us rebuild.”

“You’ve lost your mind. The Sith were defeated long ago, the Jedi with them.” You turn to leave, no longer fearing this man, he holds no power over you.

“No” he shrieks, the sound drawing your gaze back to him, the noise frightening you slightly “You cannot leave. You cannot go. You will join us and rebuild a stronger galaxy.”

“I have no interest in joing a cult of fear and genocide.” you state calmly.

“It is more than a cult I offer you, something much better, power.” he was getting desperate, a few more days without sleep and you may have fallen for it.

“Power to what? Give you all the blood in my body so you can commit futile experiments on innocent people. You cannot create force sensitivity nor can you push it on someone who it has not chosen. Join you? No, I'll have to pass. Death and destruction will not be my path.”

“Not yet, but it will be. I see it in you, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, that will all disappear once you join us.”

“Over my dead body” You say drawing your sabre. A violent clash of red and purple ricochet off the mirrored rock, lighting up the shadowed planets.

“Your grandmother trained you well.” He exclaims.

“ If you knew her then you should know that i'd never turn” You continue the fight. Managing to back him into a rock wall. Holding saber at his throat the light purple hue gleaning in the yellow irises beneath his hood.

“I understand why you ambushed me, not much of a fighter are you.” you snarl, pushing the saber into the robe, the scent of burning fabric filling the air. Then you feel it, the pulse of the fibers interwoven throughout the galaxy, something’s amiss. Something else appears under the glow of you saber, yellowed teeth, smiling under the light. You release him pushing yourself back, he wants you to kill him.

“ Do not fear it, I have seen this moment. It is what begins your reign”

“No” you say aloud to yourself, “No” you repeat turning off the saber and turning to leave.

“If you let me live, I kill the man with you.”

The Mandalorian whose been watching from afar hasn’t heard a word spoken in a while, watching you move towards him he thinks it must be over, whoever this person was, Sith or not, you must have come to an agreement. He almost walks out from his hiding spot when you stop dead in your tracks. He sees you look up, your eyes meeting his but only for a moment, before you pivot back to face the man.

“There’s…” you start.

“Don’t play me for a fool child, I have been playing this game long before you were even a thought in your mothers pretty little head. I know he is here. I know what you feel for him. You kill me and in time you will betray him, but you’d rather that, than lose him altogether.”

There's no thought process, no decision to make. With a flick of your wrist you throw the saber. You watch as it slices through the Siths neck before returning to your hand. You close it as his head tumbles to the ground. If Ashoka's words were a warning this, this was an omen. You had made a choice and now a path of irredeemably evil was laid before you. A path you were not prepared to drag anyone else down.

“I know you're there” you say after composing yourself. “I told you not to follow me.” You say making your way to the Mandalorians hiding spot.

“Are you alright? What did he say to you?” he asks, reaching a hand out for your arm.

“Nothing.” You say dodging him. The less he knew the safer he'd be. You weighed your options in your head on the walk back, but you knew there was only one way to avoid harming anyone. You had to hide away, become anonymous. Fall back into legend, never to be seen again. It was the only way Grogu would be safe, it was the only way Cara would be safe, it was the only way Din would be safe. As the ship takes off you say three words that would change everything.

“Take me home.”

“We're on route to Hoth now,” he says reassuringly.

“No, take me to my home. Grogu is back and safe. Our deal is done. Our alliance is over” You say, eyes plastered to the windshield.

“What did he say to you?” Din stresses, but you don’t answer. Silence was the only way to stop him from convincing you to stay.

“Don’t shut me out” he says slamming his hand on the panel. You don’t flinch, you don’t even look up. “We can figure this out together.” He says softly, if you hadn’t known any better you would have thought he was pleading with you.

“You’ve done enough. Take me home. If you don’t the force will.” He resets the GPS coordinates before standing up and dropping downstairs. Anya muzzles into you as you let out a sigh blinking back the tears you felt forming.

#alliance #din djarin x reader #din djarin x y/n #mando x you #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandolorian x reader #mando x y/n #mando x reader #chapter 9

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insinirate · 4 years ago

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Hi! I am an artist who wants to branch out to twitter bc it seems like the fandom buzz is more alive there than on tumblr. Do you have any advice for using twitter as an artist? Like tagging conventions, how to reach the maximum amount of audience, what time to post, etc?

twitters WAY better for artists than tumblr bc the search function actually works and even when a tweet is Just liked it can circulate the post to other peoples timelines as opposed to tumblrs like which does fuckall for artists

you dont usually have to have any hashtags bc tweets show up under the search even if just the keyword is used, but finding an audience is a lil tricky bc they either like massive pieces or comics

also idk when to post i just post at 1-2 am my time cause thats when i assume the americans are awake

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hoffnungslos-abernicht-ernst · 4 years ago

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@doggomochi I don't know if I'm your color theory person (I apologize if I'm not and please feel free to ignore this)? I started writing about it? We were barley a few clips in, back then. But a lot of very amazing and very smart people like @stazyros commented and followed up with their own very interesting theories so...I do remember color-coding the Machwitz sisters (including something about beeing and wanting to be) and something about Mind (Ratio) = blue vs Heart (Emotio) = red. I also compared it with one of Stalins portraits? This got way out of hand, which is why I decided to make a separate post. I´m sorry for any mistakes and for the... well. Everything. This was supposed to be a something short, but then I started spiralling and going way to deep and hard and now we've got (dis-)honorably mentions of sleep deprivantion, biology, thermosphysics, Stalin and very strong tea. Mhm. I dont have any excuses.

Back to your question: What do I think of a blue Nora wearing Josh's red beanie. I'd like to adapt my previous theory: Blue doesn't represent the "cold" (as in cold color = blue) or rational mind but maybe the absence of emotions or better yet the absence of feelings and senses. We've seen Nora suffer(?) from a lack of heat reception (burning her hand, drinking hot beverages, etc). I'd love to point out that heat/ warmth = warm color = red, aka the tendency of Nora not having/ wearing it...but she also went into the cold lake and I dont remember if we saw her suffer or hurt (herself) because of something cold? (I had like 3hrs of sleep and I had to concentrate on other things for a while, which is why I havent been a) very present in the tag and following discussions b) rewatching every clip and c) following up with my intended Color Theory thingy I started centuries ago... so me forgetting something is totally possible but unintended. It is not my intention to mislead or cover up information).

So that's/ before the brakes ⤴ is how I would adapt my Stalin-Theory

(the blue books where his head is at symbolize him lookig at the future/ past -depending on the way you want to interpret the direction of his look- with a cold and rational mind, while the red/ warm color of the bookshelf represents ... almost everything else? Love for the country (books at heart level) but also ofc The Soviet Union, Russia, Communism, Socialism, Blood of the fallen/ heros or smth. I dont really remember and this is not supposed to be an art history lesson or a lecture on russian history. -I'm no expert. So please, please take everything with a grain of salt and pepper).

Back to me keeping things short:

Blue = cold color = lack of feelings/ sense deprivation

Red = warm color = emotions/ feelings/ senses she should have or wants to have.

It could be fun (and a lot of work) to go through Kikis and Zoes color choices. Especially with your take on this. Wasnt Zoe talking about wearing a red dress to Finn's mums party? And she/ he rejected the idea and this leads us to people/ Germany prefering blue over red. And you know... now that I'm thinking about it. People (almost) never complain if you're too blue, its the preferred color or way-to-be. But too much red sets people off. You're too passionate, too sensible, bury the pain, its just a small cut/ burn, dont complain, dont bleed out (dont let the red out), just wait (and your hot beverage will cool down) and it'll get better, dont (over-)react etc. Its the opposite to Noras story. The goal isn't blue, its red.* And now comes the mic drop.

And now to your very interesting and insightful observation/ theory (*heart eyes emoji*): I might be reaching here but our theories are not mutually exclusive? 🤔 You too coded the colors as contrasts/ each others opposites: Red = outside world/ how other people know her/ function vs Blue = inside world/ how she knows herself/ not-function (?). Which is really interesting because its usually the other way around? You have to keep your "red" to yourself, inside you. Blue is what others want to see, what they value above almost everything else (at least in Germany).👀 Nora is different because her lack of red is bothersome to a few people, worrisome to her friends and Josh and possibly dangerous to herself. Her friends and Josh want her to care, to react, to feel, to be part of the group, of the outside world, to do something, to be red. And yes, Josh is trying, maybe even succeeding at coaxing it out of her. She has all of this inside of her, she is capable of being red, her true(?) self. -And yes, its biology, but I'm flowing with this now- we see it in her (very?) red lips, her cheeks, her choosing red colors or actually seeking warmth (laying in the sun). But blue is also a part of her, aka blue eyes! And this might be a sign for me to go to sleep or to stop drinking tea, but (not giving up!) this is important and has nothing to do with biology or bodily functions (although our cheeks do turn red when exposed/due to warmth and coldness) because its all a part of her red/ blue, inside/ outside, who she is and knows herself/ how other people see/know her (Selbstbild vs Fremdbild). And you know what will be and is already a part of her? Her mental illness.

I feel like this would be the perfect moment for a mic drop. Although I would like to add something else. Or more like, not (dis-)miss your take on grey and white? (Let me point out that Stalin is wearing white and has grey hair. This shall be the last time I mention this fucking painting. It has been almost 8 years and it still haunts me). Yes, I think you're absolutely right! Isn't white/ grey (she wears white too, righ? Either way, its usually a very light grey, not a dark grey) the absence of color? But also the result of adding/mixing colorful light? Too much color (red/blue) = her mi peaks and she's in white/ grey, but also the absence of color = her mi peaks too and she's in white/ grey. I dont know a lot about mental illnesses and she hasn't been diagnosed so I'm not going to go much deeper into this particular subject.

*didn't want to disturb my epic conclusion, but one should always aim for balance. Or as much balance as possible. ...And balance is very important and key if you're attempting to parcour your way through life. (Got it?! I'm so incredibly smart 👐) Its important to point out that Josh's beanie belongs to Josh (...ya, not so smart after all). Its a Leihgabe (forgot the English word, gonna look it up later). He's literally sharing the warmth of his head/ mind with her. Because clothes are warm when you share due to body heat and so on. Biology and Thermophysics. Oh! We've seen a lot of hugs and hugs are perfect for heat sharing! Now, is he trying to coax the red out of her or is he sharing lending his red with/ to her? I wouldn't bet on him wearing something of hers (not with this theory). But this is all interpretation and bending color coding to my will. I'm exhausted.

I feel like I should write a conclusion part for this thesis paper of mine. But its long enough, right? I'm happy to answer any questions?

Thank you for coming to this wild ride with me and congratulations on staying 💛😂😅

#druck #my druck tag #color coding #color theorie #nora machwitz #josh #not an expert on stalin or russian history #the painting has nothing to do with my personal believes and opinions #I'm so tired and confused #I'm confusion #what have I done?#what was my goal?#i hope managed to keep up #i almost didn't

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lottalucamotion · 4 years ago

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Lucas' Guide to to Railfanning for First Time Railfans

Have you thought of picking up the railfan hobby? Whether you're fixation on a musical about trains or your bored/looking for a new activity to give you a chance to go outside and practice some good old fashioned amateur photography here's what you should know as a first time railfan

Disclaimer: This was written with American railfans in mind. International readers should learn the rules for their area. I said that the engineer is always on the right, but this is not the case for all countries like the UK where the engineer is seated on the left side of the cab.

The thing that you must always keep in mind is that trains are dangerous. It's not like the trains are out to get you, they're just very strong and difficult to control compared to other vehicles. If you somehow end up in the way of a train YOU WILL ALWAYS LOSE. Rule of thumb, If you can see the train, the train won't be able to stop before it reaches you. Rolling stock are specifically designed to maximize speed by minimizing friction. This is accomplished by metal wheels on greased metal rails. Rails and rolling stock are designed to be difficult to stop. If an engineer is forced into emergency breaking, the train has a greatly increased derailing risk.

That's the other thing you should remember. Derailing doesn't just occur when a train hits a curve too fast, it can happen at any time going as slow as 25mph. Getting hit by rolling stock or debris in a derailment can seriously injure or kill you. When railfanning don't stand too close to the tracks for this reason. You should allow AT LEAST 10ft of clearance between you and the train.

I'll let this being me into my "must haves" for railfanning:

-camera: obviously if you wish to take photos and/or video you need a camera, a phone with a clear, working camera is fine as well.

-tripod: remember what I said about distance from the tracks? Well sometimes your good shot is a bit on the close side to the tracks. In this case a tripod is a great solution. If something happens, worse case is you need to replace a broken tripod and camera/phone.

-Radio transceiver: A must have if you are looking to catch freight trains. It’s a good thing to have even if you only watch passenger trains, but since there’s no other way to really keep track of freight trains, they are a game changer. When dealing with radios, remember that it is illegal to talk to railroad personnel via radio. Listen only dont talk.

-Florescent safety vest or other brightly colored article: Good thing to have when shooting from trackside. Basically, trespassers who may put themselves in danger in front of an approaching train don’t wear florescent outerwear. It’s a good way to communicate to the crew of an approaching train that you intend to stay a safe distance away from the track.

-Dress for the weather: this does not just mean wearing weather appropriate clothing. Always bring thinks like sunscreen and insect repellent with deet to avoid sunburn and keep ticks and mosquitoes off. Take it from me. Ticks don’t like me, I work on a farm and walk through tall grass all day, haven’t found a tick on me yet, but I walked through a tiny patch of taller grass while out railfanning and managed to pick up two American dog ticks. You are not immune to the hostile elements when railfanning. Make sure to wear closed toed shoes, preferably with ankle support.

-Car charger and/or battery pack: If you use your phone as a camera, you want to make sure you have plenty of juice. Not just for footage, but in case of emergency, you don’t want to be dealing with a dead phone.

Basic safety rules:

-Rule number one is never trespass. Always stay a safe distance away from the tracks and trains (at least 10ft from the tracks). Remember, a train can derail at any time. Respect trains.

-If you see something, say something. Know the track ownership and contact the railroad police if you see a trespasser or hazard on the track during your outing. If a railroad crossing gate is not functioning, there usually is a number on the crossing gate which you can contact to report the malfunction.

-To further elaborate on the no trespassing rule, never stand, sit, or lay down on track for any reason, esp not photographing. I can’t help but cringe when I see people snapping “aesthetic” pictures on functioning railroad tracks (if the tracks are abandoned, and you have confirmed that they are abandoned, just be careful as tracks can have loose spikes and other hazards you can injure yourself on, but go ahead, otherwise stay off!). Even if you don’t think a train is coming there can be freight trains, test runs, track switches, or other such things that can surprise you. You may think trains are not stealthy, but you’ll be surprised on how trains can sneak up on you.

-You would not bank your life on your toaster’s ability to make breakfast, so don’t assume that devices such as railroad crossing gates and signals at stations to always be accurate, as always stay off the tracks and always assume a train could be coming through at any moment. When driving through a railroad crossing, stop, look, and listen if you can. If someone’s riding your tail and you can’t, at least reduce speed and roll down your windows so you can check to make sure the crossing is safe from any approaching trains. If you can hear an approaching horn, stop, even if the gates aren’t going down yet. When the lights start flashing, stop before the white line in front of the gates always. Be extra cautious in a no horn zone as you won’t be able to hear an approaching train as easily.

-Never play chicken with trains. If you witness someone doing so, tell them to get their soggy ass off the tracks. Reminder that making a train go into emergency increases it’s likelihood of derailing.

Remember to be courteous to railroad crews:

-Body language is an important key to the positive communication and relationship between crews and railfans. When I mentioned the tripod and vest, these are great tools for this method of communication. Bear in mind, the average engineer will have their train strike a pedestrian once in their career. Trains run on tracks and always have the right of way so when it’s train vs trespasser, it’s never the engineers fault, but it doesn’t make the event less traumatic. You wearing fluorescent outerwear and using a tripod sets you apart as a railfan, putting the crew at ease that you are not about to run out in front of the train. As far as body language goes, When a train is approaching, step into the engineer’s line of sight maintaining a safe distance from the track (the engineer always sits on the right. Then, take a several steps back to communicate to the engineer that you don’t intend to run onto the track. When the lead vehicle is passing (engine or cab car) wave to the crew members, not only does this show that you are a railfan rather than a trespasser, a friendly engineer or other crew member will wave back and/or sound the horn for you (this is called a “horn show” and it’s one of my favorite things to experience as railfan)

-When standing at a platform, occupy one of the farthest ends. Passengers looking to take the train will typically stand toward the middle. Standing on the ends will better indicate that you are a spectator and don’t intend to board.

-If you are actually a passenger but also want to get some shots of the train you are riding, wait until you have reached your destination to take pictures. Either your train could end up departing without you, or you could cause a holdup if you manage to make the train wait for you. Remember that running railroads is a complex endeavor and seconds matter. If you cause a hold up for one train, you are influencing the timing of many more even for other lines besides the one you are boarding.

Now that you know how to be safe and courteous when railfanning, here are some tips for finding good spots.

When trying to locate good railfanning spots, there are several things to consider. These include:

-If you have to drive, where will you park? You have to pay to park at most stations, though some allow free parking on weekends. If it’s not a station it may be even harder to find a parking spot.

-When scoping out your spot use google street view to figure out the best place to go for shots (this can help with parking too). Using a map of the railroad systems will help you find stations, crossings, bridges, and yards, but using street view will help you figure out if these spots are easily accessible and good spots for taking shots.

-Look for other railfans in your area, some will tag locations, or even just the towns which they saw the trains they photographed. If you’re interested in what is there, try to scope that spot out or somewhere near there.

-Railfan forums are a great way to find spots and also know when an interesting engine or other rolling stock is out. If you see something interesting, other fans in your area will appreciate you sharing it.

How to identify rolling stock:

It’s okay if you have no idea how to identify rolling stock right off the bat. There’s a simple way to figure it out. All you need to do it look up the company and number, or look up the company’s roster, and figure out based on the number index. Railfanning is a lot about learning as you go so dont feel like you need to be an expert on trains to pick the hobby up. Really it's a great hobby if you enjoy learning new things, esp about the local history, and transport of people and goods of your area. Happy railfanning! Have fun, and most importantly STAY SAFE

#railfan #starlight express #photography #railroad photography

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simpleharmonicocean · 4 years ago

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i really don’t want to do my homework so here we go :)

50 questions

tagged by: @girouxes this is ur fault

1. What is the color of your hair brush? i think it is pink

2. Name a food you never eat? i would rather die than eat literally any variation of cauliflower. and if it came from a pig i only eat it if my mom makes it because my urge to make my mother happy is stronger than my dislike of pork/ham/bacon

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? whichever is most inconvenient for the present moment

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? uhhhhhh either doing my homework or avoiding doing my homework

5. Whats your favorite candy bar? does nerds rope count as a candy bar??? if not then 3 musketeers

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes i went to the last in person flyers game and that still blows my mind

7. What was the last thing you said out loud? i don’t think i’ve spoken out loud yet today.,,,,.,,.,.so probably bitching about the debate to my roommate last night

8. What is your favorite ice cream? ben & jerry’s phish food

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? some coffee thing from starbucks

10. Do you like your wallet? yessss my friend gave his extra herschel wallet to me because the velcro thing i picked up from the uni bookstore after mine broke made him mad (?????? sir) and it’s so nice

11. What was the last thing you ate? cheese danish, thing,

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? YES i got halloween socks !!!!!

13. What was the last sporting event you watched? hpk vs pelicans i think.,.,..possible i got the team names wrong as i have the memory of a goldfish

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? any variety of kettlecorn its so good

15. Who was the last person you sent a text to? mio

16. Ever go camping? technically, yes, but its not like Real camping with tents its like, RV camping

17. Do you take your vitamins? i have none

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? like a church?? when i was in seventh grade i wrote a “faith statement” for my confirmation class where i basically said i didn’t believe in god and even if he existed i probably hated him and then i peaced out of the church forever so, no. i’ll go on christmas with my mom though because she loves the christmas eve service but no one in my fam ever wants to go and she’s always :( about it

19. Do you have a tan? i got one at band camp and then lost it so no

20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? probably chinese

21. Do you drink soda through a straw? yes thats the only way to drink soda

22. What color socks do you usually wear? patterns !! all the patterns !!!! my favorite socks are either my socks with cat astronauts on them or my rainbow socks

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i used to when i first got my license and then i moved into the city and didn’t drive for like a full year so now i drive like, under the speed limit

24. What terrifies you? existence, and also this election

25. Look to the left, what do you see? my radiator lmao

26. What chore do you hate doing the most? laundryyyyyyyy

27. What do you think when you hear an Australian accent? crickets

28. What’s your favorite soda? i dont usually like soda tbh but probably ginger ale or sprite. or pineapple fanta.

29. Do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru? drive thrus are probably the world’s worst creation, the last time i tried to go through a drive thru was right at the start of the pandemic and i was really stressed about it and it was also the first time i’d worn a mask ever and i am also terrible at driving so i pulled up too far away from the window for my tiny baby arms to reach it, tried to lean out far enough, couldn’t do it, pulled my mask down in some kind of misguided attempt to make it easier to reach the window (??????? truly i have 1 functioning brain cell), and eventually had to back the car up and drive up again.

anyway i prefer to use the mobile apps because then i don’t have to talk to anyone ever

30. What is your favorite number? 29 or 39 (39 is neat bc 3x3 is 9 and 13x3 is 39)

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? like, out loud? my roommate i guess

32. Favorite cut of beef? what

33. Last song you listened too? i skipped several songs in my playlist to find one i would be willing to share publicly but dean town by vulfpeck (we’re playing it as a warmup in front ensemble and i love it, a lot,)

34. Last book you read? my electrodynamics textbook lmaooooo

35. Favorite day of the week? saturday??? i guess????? maybe friday afternoons????

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? absolutely not

37. How do you like your coffee? probably more cream than i should have, some amount of sugar. i will drink it black if i’m desperate though

38. Favorite pair of shoes? my go to is my beat to hell black converse but i also have bright purple ones that i love a lot

39. Time you normally get up? my classes start between 9 and 10 every day so around there except for sundays i get to sleep in usually

40. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunsets but only because if i’m seeing a sunrise i pulled an all nighter and that is Bad

41. Describe your kitchen plates? basic white corelle plates

42. How many blankets on your bed? right now i have two but when it gets cold im stealing the one i left on the couch sorry not sorry to my roommate

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? a little messy, currently sans microwave bc my roommate set it on fire by accident

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i have literally only had straight vodka. and i took a sip of pbr once and i hated it, so,

45. Do you play cards? no

46. What color is your car? lol i don’t have a car

47. Can you change a tire? theoretically

48. Favorite state? ok julia answered this with “i don’t like the us lmao” which is honestly iconic and also accurate but like, if i had to pick one probably vermont??? nothing ever happens there, my great grandma conned her hometown into naming a road after her, and there is a legally protected lake monster living in lake champlain

49. Favorite job you’ve ever had? i’ve never had a real job oops but i did research over the summer which was neat when it didn’t make me want to die

50. Tagging: @shuheather @helanadelrey neither of u have to do this but if u feel like procrastinating?? its fun

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