#i dont usually get this serious about stuff but i know a lot about this in particular and i know the stakes so i thought id give my input

[skitskatdacat63]

Bwoahh thank you for the lore. It’s really interesting to see the spectrum of views towards humans. Their feelings are so different yet they’re so similar (like night and day lmao) . Rip Goddess of Earth for having to deal with those two for a millennia. Love to hear more about these two <3

— Penalanon

Aaaaaahh yes!!! That's my main intention with my god ocs tbh. Two things: what is their view towards humans(A), and what governing style do they believe is most effective(B)? And I guess also to an extent, how do they feel about interplanetary relations, but that's a bit too meta 😭 I just think Luna and Sola are an interesting case study because they're so uninvolved compared to all the others. But yeah 😭 they are so similar, but ofc they'll never see it. I like to think they're both fascinated but one is like this 😍 and the other is like this 😟

But here I will give you the thoughts of some other gods regarding the two things I mentioned earlier, bcs I think it's a fun thing to play with. At some point I'll have to make a chart like the political compass one about this lol.

Earth(Eden)

A: They're creatures of the land with their own autonomy and goals

B: I will not interfere, it is also my duty to observe and come in only when really, truly needed(read: never.)

Saturn(Sabah):

A: They're like toys I can play with and manipulate.

B: Proxy wars are fun! I love anarchy and chaos! I will play to each side at will, and switch whenever it gets boring.

Neptune(Nikola):

A: They're my citizens whom I govern and watch over. I love to see their creations, its interesting to see what they come up with!

B: I am like a monarch, I can carry out my will through the people if need be but I don't micromanage them.

Uranus(Ustinya)

A: They are like my children, even if I don't understand them all the time, I still care for them and watch over them.

B: I am like a figurehead and advisor. I won't get involved too much unnecessarily, but I am honored they look to me for guidance, advice and encouragement.

There's others but these are the ones that came to mind first so :D I feel like most of them are pretty rational...and then there's Sabah 😭 I need to make more of them a bit evil I think

[localparalysisdemon]

I have seen what Trump supporters are like from the inside and it's not pretty, they would literally kill (or worse) for this man and his ideas. The best of them are brainwashed and the worst of them are whole different levels of fucked up. The Qanon extremists are waiting on a global reset. They hope that Trump wins and imposes martial law. They think that if he doesn't win the world will be ruled by Satan or some shit man the stakes they've set in their minds are HIGH and they will BE AT THE POLLS.

-TW FOR BELOW THE CUT (discussion of some pretty heavy topics)

My mom made an account on a media website they made to organize their ideas without being taken down for hate speech in 2021. If you want an idea of what they have in mind for the 2024 election you can go to anonup.com and see for yourself. BE WARNED THAT CONTENT ON THAT SITE CAN BE VERY TRIGGERING - I'm talking body horror, extreme child abuse, discussion of sexual assault and related things, and so much worse. The things they have made up and spread about the people they're opposing is some of the worst things I've ever seen. They use this misinformation to brainwash people with good intentions; they claim to want to 'save the children's but fail to realize that the things they are in support of are hurting children too.

begging the voting population of u.s. citizens on tumblr to vote this year, and specifically to vote in the way that most practically ensures trump doesn't win, not out of a liberal centrist "don't you hate the orange man hoho" impulse, but out of love and fear for the many, many, many marginalized populations whose lives will be concretely worse under a second trump presidency, out of paranoia that the current architecture of our american quasi-democracy will not survive a new formalized attempt at dismantling it, out of having done the research that no matter what you think of biden literally every stance of trump's is noticeably more disastrous.

i hate that these are our only two practical choices right now but hating it doesn't do anything to change the fact that these are our only two practical choices right now. a trump victory will also almost certainly send the mainstream democratic politicians scrambling even closer to the center; that is historically how the democratic machine reacts to defeat! which absolutely sucks, but the best way to lay the groundwork for progressive policies in the future is to start as far from zero as we can.

i am begging you: vote biden, and then protest every fucking thing he does. make that old man's life miserable. just please, please, please don't burn down your own country to try to make a point; who materially benefits from that?

[kawaiianimeredhead]

.

[cloudcountry]

Hello could I request maybe Iida, Vil, and Malleus with a S/o that can hold a cup on their chest? Like they have such large chest that they can hold stuff with it. If it’s to weird I apologize.

SUMMARY: their s/o has a large chest

COMMENTS: this is kind of a different fic for me i dont usually write stuff like this SDJJSDSJ i hope i did your prompt justice!!

literally begging nobody to sexualize this please ive never written for this stuff before so idk how people react but i will Cry

If you ever need to go bra shopping, trust that Vil will be right by your side making sure you get the best bras for your size. He’ll listen to what you want and even ask attendants for you if you’re too embarrassed.

He picks out various styles for you to try, each one giving you the support you need. His advice is always helpful and to the point—he knows what colors and styles look best but insists that comfort is most important for his love.

If anyone makes any weird comment towards you they will be on the receiving end of Vil’s absolutely withering glare. He trusts they won’t try anything ever again, lest he have to soundly berate them into the ground.

Idia is nervous. I mean he’s nervous around everyone, sure, but it takes a lot to coax what he wants out of him even after you two have been dating for a while. He doesn’t want you to change your mind or think he’s weird, so he keeps his desires to himself, but...

He wants to nap with you and rest his head on your chest. That’s it. He thinks you look so cozy and he confesses all of this is rushed murmurs that you quite honestly barely catch, but it’s enough to get the gist.

It’s the best sleep of his life. He knocks out almost immediately as you run your fingers through his hair, watching over him like a guardian angel. Ever since that night, he'll “subtly” try to snuggle up to you again like a scared cat, ready to jump away at any moment.

Malleus often finds himself curious, asking about your back pain and if he can do anything to help. You may have it covered, and it’s that's the case he’s delighted, but if you don’t he gets serious very quickly.

That’s his love we’re talking about, and his love should not endure any pain, much less alone! And so he offers to make it go away with his magic. It would be in your best interest to ask what he intends to do...you may not like it.

At the end of day he’s very protective of you too (as always.) He’s heard about things people said to you back in your world that made you uncomfortable, so he keeps an eye out for those types. He’ll strike them down, don’t worry. <3

[whilomm]

once again the new episode of dungeon meshi is 99% YES AMAZING GOOD with one Tiny Little Thing that irked me. today its the way they did this scene:

with the caveat that i dont know which one is more ACCURATE to the original japanese, i just loved the phrasing of "youre missing the point!" "no, thats EXACTLY the point!" so much. in the english dub, its instead "THATS where your mind goes?" which. idk, just doesnt hit the same way?

with "the point", it kinda feels like an encapsulation of how people see laios and dismiss him. people constantly see laios as being unobservant and having bad priorities, but this is a moment where he is asking an EXTREMELY practical question. while everyone else is concerned with the implications of this, laios accepts the premise and moves on to the logistics. seriously, how fucking hard is it gonna be? they think hes just being his usual weirdo self thinking about eating dragons before saving falin, but no, hes just doing the math and saying "shit, it would work but are we even CAPABLE of that?"

yeah, the way he says it isnt the most tasteful (lol), but the immediate dismissal of his question as "missing the point", just like laios always misses the point and misses social cues and misses subtex, before him showing that no, hes thinking several steps ahead of everyone else while theyre worried about small stuff like "cannibalism" and "eating their friend".

and i think just having the line being "youre missing the point!", "no, thats EXACTLY the point!" just kinda gets to the heart of a lot of stuff. again, idk which is closer to the orig, but this is one of the lines i remember the most from this series, and it was a specific moment i was looking forward to. just kinda sad that the english dub has it just be a couple of lines that fall really flat for me

(also, personally, i dont feel like the animation properly conveyed these panels. they did SO much sick ass animation in these eps, and i kinda just wish it woulda better portrayed "one of the very few times laios shows his anger", its KIND OF a joke panel, but its also REALLY not. its a huge character moment i think and i wish they woulda drawn it out a bit and made it a bit more serious.)

[spyder-junkie]

Hobie Brown/Spiderpunk NSFW alphabet

____________________________________________

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hobie does the usual after sex has calmed down (wiping you off, getting you to bed, running you a bath, getting you a water)

It makes him feel manly to be able to take care of you when your brain is all mushy.

BUT

He would absolutely melt if once and a while you took care of him after sex. Dab his brow with a towel, place kisses on his face as you assure him he can stay in bed, bring him water and cuddle up to him as he sleeps.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hobie loves his hands, it’s something about being able to abolish the system, beat bad guys, play great music with his fingers AND being able to make you cum all over his hands that gets him excited.

Hobie also loves your hips, no matter what they look like. He’ll pull you to his side by your hip in public, or draw patterns on them with his fingers while giving you backshots. Sometimes he’ll lay his head on your lower stomach and press little kisses to your hips.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He strongly prefers to cum IN you rather than ON you.

He’s the type to cum in you, then take his fingers and push the cum back in as it leaks out.

But if thats not an option, he’ll gladly cum on your face. Just seeing your cheeks and lips slick with his cum gets him hard again immediately.

“God your beautiful, open your mouth for me sweetheart.”

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Touch his nipples!!!

He got them pierced a while back and they’re sooooo sensitive. When hes stroking his dick for you one of his hands will trail up his chest and slowly circle one of his nipples. His eyebrows will get all furrowed, his hips bucking into his hand. Thats just a good way to get him to cum quick.

Maybe one day he’s got you pinned up against a wall, drilling you. And instead of latching onto his neck, you wrap your lips around his nipple and suck lightly. His hips will immediately go still, his eyes screwing shut as a loud groan crawls out of his throat. He’ll cum right there, hunched over your body with you in his arms. And now he’s embarrassed because he didn’t get you off first, but how could you be upset when he looked and sounded so nice?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Hobie understands the body, period.

He’s had several hookups, male and female, before you, just nothing romantic.

He’s a hands on learner and he’s had a lot of hands on experience, so trust he will make your first time with him worth while.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything where he can get as deep as possible and you cant run. (consensually of course)

Mating press has him in a chokehold. He likes that he can get his dick as far into you as he can while also holding you down with his own body so you cant do anything but take it. (yes he does like overstimulation.)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s never too serious about anything, he’s a spiderman. With that being said he’s pretty humorous in bed. He likes making jokes to tease you, he especially loves mimicking your moans inna high-pitched shrill voice then laughing at your unamused face.

Dont mock him though, he’ll stuff your mouth with his fingers (or his dick) so you cant crack anymore jokes.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He shaves himself carefully so the hair is low around his actual dick. He has a very neat happy trail that he loves. He also shaves his balls, not by anyone’s request, he just likes it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

His eyes are almost heart shaped when he looks at you during sex. He’s never enjoyed it more with any other person.

He’ll rub your body affectionately, whisper sweet things to you. Especially if he’s about to cum. If you tell him you love him while he’s in it, he’ll cum on the spot.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesnt do it often at all, finds it a waste of his time to touch himself if you’re not touching him.

But he will do it upon request. Maybe he’s out being spiderman and cant come see you that night, he will absolutely duck into an alley way and pull his suit and pants down to send his partner a video of him stroking it.

“I miss you baby.” He mumbled under his breath, running his thumb over the slit of his tip. His other hand is holding the phone, Hobie trying his best not to shake.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Orgasm denial

Sit him down and stroke him. Promise him you’re gonna let him cum and talk all this big shit until his dick starts twitching in your hands, then pull away at the last minute. Then start the process all over again. He’ll get so desperate that he will BEG you to let him cum. Bonus points if you tie his hands up. Bonus bonus if you use his webs.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Hobie feels pride in fucking you in the most inappropriate places possible. Top of a building, backstage at a concert, on a balcony, he’ll do it all. And if you’re a spider person too, he’s definitely successfully fucked you on Miguel’s moving platform thing.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing his parter show no regard for rules (within reason) is one of his biggest turn-on, its the anarchist in him. Pirating movies, keeping pets in your apartment when you shouldn’t, or stealing little things from franchises he knows are corrupt. One time he bent you over in the back of a Hobby lobby because you pocketed a couple items.

Also seeing you in his clothes gets him going really fast. Seeing his partner in a alternative sub cultures in general gets him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wont hit you. He might slap your ass or something similar, but he wont hit you near the face. He’s against choking too, it just makes him feel weird. If he’s drilling you particularly hard, he might grab your face, like his hand holding your cheek/chin, but never your neck.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Hobie is a giver!!! I firmly believe he gets his tongue pierced JUST so he can give you head with more efficiency. He’ll hold you down and go to town for hours.

But he does love receiving too. He likes his bj’s real slow and attentive. He likes when you run your tongue up and down the shaft slowly, taking him in your mouth with care. Really take your time with him and he’ll cum hard.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

That depends on the mood he’s in. Usually he’s more focused on getting deep then going fast, unless you tell him to speed up. If he’s had a particularly rough day, He might pick up the pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s a spiderman, and he likes having his cake and eating it too, meaning he’ll fuck you whenever and however he can. He gets especially turned on when he has to keep his hand clasped over your mouth while he’s fucking you.

“Sh sh sh, you’re doing so good, stay quiet for me.”

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Like I said before he loves the risk of trying not to get caught, more so because he likes seeing the fear in your eyes, his spidey senses keep him on top of when people are walking by, but you dont have that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go 4 or 5 before his dick starts to get too sensitive. He’ll get a little whoozy and whiney after that. If you keep pushing him to overstimulation he’ll get really loud and shaky.

The question then becomes whether you can actually get him to cum again. He quite possibly might start shooting blanks or pass out all together.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own a single toy. He doesn’t see the need to before or after he meets you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He LOVES to tease you. He’ll make you ask for what you want, crack jokes, mimic your moans. He loves the reactions he gets from you.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” He asked, curling his fingers inside of you.

“Yeah yeah yes~“ you moan, eyes shut and jaw slack.

“Yeah? Yeah?” He mimics, horribly recreating your tone. He smiles as the way you open your eyes in a glare.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He groans a lot, like deep in his chest guttural groans right in your ear. He isn’t super loud unless your overstimulating or edging him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves to talk. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing sexually, Hobie will talk during it. The only reason why you wont mind it is because he does it well.

“Y’ look so pretty taking my dick like that.”

“Louder, I want to hear you.”

“Fuck, you keep squeezing me like that and I’m gonna cum~”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Comic book Hobie isnt that tall, but Spiderverse Hobie is huge. I hc his dick is longer than it is thick, maybe 7.5 inches.

He’s a shower not a grower, one of the reasons why his spiderpunk suit has pants.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s on go at almost any time of the day. Give him some time in between to recuperate and he’ll fuck you a couple times a day if you’re up to it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Hobie gets up immediately after sex to take care of you because if he doesn’t, he’ll fall straight asleep. He falls asleep so quickly after sex that he’s almost embarrassed about it.

One time he was hitting it in missionary and the two of you had cum together. He pressed his face in the crook of your neck as he came and the two of you sat together in silence for a while after. At least thats what you thought. Once you pushed on his shoulder to get him to pull out, you realized he was fast asleep.

[yonpote]

ok heres how i split up the dnp eras (loosely based on dan's timeline in his interview w anthony)

2009-2011: the Sillies era :3 dan refered to it as being a dumb teen just posting cuz he was bored, which is like, thats what all of youtube culture was at this time. they met and like fell in love or whatever you know the lore dont you. phil moved from his parents home to his first apartment in manchester, and dan technically moved to uni but really he moved into phil's apartment to take advantage of his washing machine and ps1 and. yknow. other stuff. they officially moved in together in 2011 yippee hooray, the phanchester apartment holds a special place in my heart

2012-2013: THE SHIFT. they started getting Serious about youtube as a career, doing more stuff w the radio, superamazingproject started in 2011 but THE SHIFT is very easy to observe when you compare the first season of sap to the last season. ALSO. they were NOT A DOUBLE ACT AND NOT GAY 🙄. it could also be called the No Homo era lmao idk this is when a lot of shitty things were happening wrt leaked information, harassment of their families, and just generally becoming more in the spotlight especially while still in the closet being a horrible experience. but also, they moved to london and got cool opportunities with radio stuff and were starting to actually make a living on this shit.

2014-2016: Peak Dan And Phil™ Era. at the height of their popularity. they realized oh shit, we ARE a double act and not only does everyone enjoy us best as a double act, WE enjoy working together. tabinof, tatinof, dapgo, still doing the radio every month up until they start touring, 7 second challenge app, gamingmas, what the hell DIDNT they do during this time period (what they didnt do was uhh take care of themselves and not overwork and not blur their work and personal lives so much to the point where they felt like the whole apartment was a film set.)

2017-2018: Gay Softlaunch Era (aka post-baking aka glass closet) the baby steps toward authenticity, moved to the double apartment to separate work and life, ii's whole theme, dan talking abt depression, phil getting the quiff, both of them being gay as hell in every way other than saying it explicitly. important things of note: TRUTH BOMBS dropped, Interactive Introverts happened, still uploading gaming vids and honestly by the end you could feel their fatigue. and then they hiatused dapg.

2019-2022: ok these four years each feel like whole eras in themselves, but also theres an overarching theme. THE GAY ERA.

2019: im gonna futher split this year in half. first half- dad left to buy milk so other dad is taking care of us. rough six months for dannies im sure. important phil thing of note- he changed his film set from his "bedroom" to a fairly basic but cute shelf backdrop. honestly prob didnt wanna keep pretending that was his bedroom considering.... second half- DAN AND PHIL GAY. dan uploads his magnum opus. phil comes out via tweet. they go to japan and its really gay and it's The Trip to japan for them like yes they first went in 2015 and again in 2023, but Japhan 2.0 Was The One. what does this mean? proposal? anniversary? idk exactly but it was gay as hell dude and theyve talked about that trip with such love in their hearts.

2020: Phandemic (sorry that was bad) but also where tf is dan again? even with the big C-word happening, it was business as usual for phil, regular vids but make em gayer, caught a pigeon nbd, and end of the year introduces the Stereo app show Phil and Phriends where he's had chats with pj, louise, his brother, seth everman?????, and finally. dan reappears. they reveal that they bought and FULLY PLANNED a house together and are ready to move!

2021: they don't move house for another like six months! basically their house was (and is??) still being worked on AND they were in lockdown AND turns out at the end of last year, they were kicked from their Life apartment and were now living in the Work apartment so you can imagine what all of this can do to their psyche and lowkey they were getting sick of each other like it wasnt just bordering on phivorce it was nearly Phurder. Phidow. but to fill the time so that DOESNT happen, my favorite fucking thing ever happens: Lockdown Lads (and all the other names). the first taste of what a dnp podcast would sound like, with the added bonus of chaotic listener interaction. oh yeah also dan wrote a mental health guide book whatever (IM KIDDING I REALLY LIKE YWGTTN I WROTE LIKE TWO REVIEWS ON IT NOW) and they finally become Homosexual Homeowners. theres quite a bit more dnp content this year, dan being on phils channel a bit more, the phodcasts, dan's gay and not proud special.... oh yeah and hometown showdown i guess AND TEXT VIDEO 2!!! my favorite and my namesake!!!!!!!

2022: Prophecy Year..... but they didnt get married. dan returns with another longass video to say: hey i hate being a youtuber and also youtube majorly fucked me over. but also fuck that im gonna do a weird talk show and ALSO GO ON TOUR WITH THIS APOCALYPSE THEME! phil actually... slows down this year. more dan uploads than phil somehow??? but also Dan Is Leaving me is posted and i go completely insane and become the deranged individual you see today. WHICH FINALLY LEADS US TOOOOOO

2023-present: The Unhinged Era. dan's tour was a huge Emotional success for him but uh not without its hiccups due to management and all that and i think he and phil finally realize. Fuck It Who Cares. dan flies back to england FROM AUSTRALIA to make sure he can be with his future ex-husband on his birthday. CAKE HEART EMOJI. YELLOW PLAID SHACKET. they go on a gamer date and post a picture of playing footsies in a cab. THE PHUDE HAPPENS. they go to japan again and while this one will never be The One it was still a well earned holiday this time with bryony! and they took a bunch of very cute film camera pictures.... THIS IS ALL JUST THE FIRST HALF OF 2023 BTW. in phil news, he talks about going to therapy and figuring out how to manage his anxiety!!!! he changes his hair again!! he hires an editor, phan is his otp, he teases about the gaming channel a couple of times but so many of us already dropped any hope of that returning- OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!? HUH!??!? they returned, and more chaotic than ever before. the gayness upped to the max, the Weirdness on full speed, the Horniness at Very Scary Levels Oh God Stop Talking About Dogging, phil can swear uncensored now???? and this energy has continued into today...

[amphitriteswife]

Jaegyeon na dating headcanons! Sfw and Nsfw

I was too impatient to finish the other ones so yeah-

@yue-yolk

_______________

✨ Dating Jaegyeon na means you’re dating the definition of a mood swing. Sometimes he’s all flirty and confident, the other he’s childish and whiny.

✨ He likes it if you ask him to drop you off somewhere or pick you up. He shows off Initial N and calls it his ‘baby’. Don’t call it junk or he’ll lose his shit.

✨ Loves shopping. If you tell him you’re shopping he’ll either ask to go with you or invites himself. Usually ends up buying expensive clothes and necklaces. They’re not for you though. This one’s for him. He’ll buy yours next time

✨ ‘hey Y/n get me ice cream’ ‘no get it yourself.’ ‘Could’ve told me to cut off my balls as well.’ He takes little things seriously. Not always but usually. Sometimes its for comical reasons and sometimes he’s just insecure

✨ fragile masculinity. He’s the type to freak out if you call him pretty boy because ‘he’s not pretty. He’s handsome.’ He thinks of himself as very manly man.

✨ LOVES kissing. Doesn’t even have to be intimate, he just likes kisses or kissing. You did something nice for him? He gives you a kiss on the forehead. He missed you? He kisses your cheek. He just feels happy? He’s placing his lips on yours. They’re not always super long, sometimes just a peck.

✨ very active on socials. He watches your stories everyday and likes your every post. Always responds to them too, sometimes goofy and sometimes serious. Or its just an excuse to text you. ‘Babes plz buy me that too i want to be matchy.’ ‘Babee who’s that in your story?’ ‘Stop putting DG in your story his music isn’t that good. I’m better looking.’

✨ He’s a jealous boyfriend. No matter what gender or who it is he’s still jealous. He’ll also get defensive about it and start sulking if you point it out. He doesn’t want you to know that he’s sometimes feeling like that.

✨ babe. Who is that in your instagram story?’ ‘Thats my best friend. You met her.’ ‘Okay but even so why am I not your only bestie????’

✨ ‘babe why are you saying happy birthday in your story?’ ‘Because one of my friend is having their birthday.’ ‘Okay but you didn’t even congratulate me today too?’ It was in fact not his birthday he just wanted attention.

✨ Attention seeker. Man cannot stand you having eyes for someone else, well just being very close to someone that isn’t him. He wants to be your bestie and boyfriend. Just like how you are to him. He wants to be your number one. Just like how you are…together with Initial N.

✨ You can see him kissing his car sometimes. He’s not even embarrassed by it, but he does make it a point if you say that it’s disgusting. ‘You’re just jealous that i kiss my baby a lot….i love you dont leave me.’

✨ NEEDS to sleep in your bed. He hijacked it. He thinks your bed and house is more comfortable than his so he sleeps over a lot of times. He likes snuggling up to you though, especially in the winter

✨ if he’s at your house he makes himself comfortable very fast. Its yalls house now. He usually goes into your closet or looks trough most of your stuff to see what you do and don’t have

✨ He does online shopping a lot, mostly buys clothes or unnecessary and stupid things since he’s rich and has money to waste. This time he did buy you things too.

✨ Likes outgoing dates, he likes parties, clubbing and concerts but also enjoys museums, markets and cinema’s. Anything you like too. He’ll probably make your hobby his own so that he can see you get happy about it.

✨ He probably does car racing in his free time and usually takes you with him. Most of the time he only watched and just stays by your side. If he’s out racing and sees you with another guy, he’ll get jealous and give you the silent treatment

🔞 Man’s a horny dog okay? He’e not always like that but sometimes. Sometimes it can get real intimate. He’s not ashamed by it either. And if you match his freakiness its even better

🔞 Calls you ‘princess’ or ‘queen’ depending on which one you prefer. He takes pride in it if you like the nickname too and uses it regularly. But usually his voice is soft and a little hoarse when he does.

🔞 He might moan his own name or Inital N during sex on accident. It’s an honest mistake okay? ‘Ugh King you’re doing great.’ ‘The hell????’ ‘Sorry babes I got carried away’

🔞This man is sensitive asf. Touch his body with your hands. He loves it. The way your hand glides across his skin and squeezes his muscles…the way your lips press against his neck and whispered against it…he might come only by that.

🔞 definition of a switch but is definitely leaning on a little more bratty sub side. He will not listen to you. He’ll act super childish and selfish about it too.

🔞 car sex. And no he’s not fucking initial N. It’s with you in the car. He gets off if he thinks about you and him doing it in the car, don’t ask him why he doesn’t know it either. Don’t stain his seats tho, but he’ll definitely do it in the backseat or while he’s driving.

🔞 receiver. HEAVY receiver. Make him feel good. He’ll be at your mercy if you do it. Do anything to him. Gag him while you ride him. Choke him while you kiss him. Make him cry out your name out of pleasure

🔞 praise kink. Whisper those sweet seductive words in his ear and he’ll crumble right under your nose. He’ll beg and cry if you ask him too. Make him feel as if you’re the only one who can do this to him.

🔞 suck him while he’s driving. The mix of arousal and self control with trying to keep his eyes on the road will definitely make him feel hot.

🔞 He cums a lot. And fast. You’d only have to touch him and you’d already see the wet spot in his pants along with a tent. Make him stroke himself trough his pants because you refuse to touch him anymore and you’ll see him absolutely flabbergasted

🔞 he might have a thing for if you slap his face. He likes it if you handle him roughly because he’s been a brat. Put a gag in his mouth and you’ll get extra points. Man handle him please

🔞 loves Handjobs, he thinks it’s super hot or he’s lowkey embarrassed. Don’t ask him why he’ll get defensive, but he 100% likes the feeling of your hands stroking his sensitive skin

Thank yall for reading 🥶🙏

[dreemurr-skelememer]

i know that this is all discourse to you all but i feel like its not emphasized enough how much stuff like this has ruined my mental health.

i have never been treated like a person ever since i started gaining a decent amount of traction.

im either just someone to ask for shit from or someone to endlessly tear apart because i talk about my opinions and a lot of people see and you happen to disagree

ive been treated with so much disrespect and awful parasocial actions for years and i dont acknowledge it often because i dont want to make it a thing you see often from me or something i want to encourage by publicizing such actions

i tolerate so much weird shit from people on a daily basis just because i draw skeletons all pretty and nice.

but i am hurt. i am a person and i am hurt and constantly get hurt by this stuff.

im speaking out as a person who is whole and real with feelings, not just as a creator with a responsibility.

i don't usually talk about my personal feelings on things, especially vent about things, but i have my limits. and people test it over and over again and i genuinely don't know what or how to say that i don't feel like a respected person of this community because i simply am just not treated like a person in general.

discourse really shouldn't be so serious but it does affect me and all the various other people who tolerate the same shit i do. parasocialism shouldn't be this bad of a fucking issue but it is and i can't believe it's over a fucking video game au community.

i don't know if anything i say even means anything, but i'm speaking out for me and for my fellow peers for once to be treated with fucking respect. to be treated like we are people, not content farms or whatever insane villains you think we are in your head.

[lolahauri]

: ̗̀➛ Eyeless Jack: Smut Alphabet 🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very attentive and loving. He’ll pick you up and bring you to the bathroom to take a bath and clean up with him. Afterwards he’ll cuddle you to sleep, or if you’re not ready to sleep, get you a drink and snack and relax with you in bed.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your face and your hips/waist. You’re beautiful to him, and he loves staring into your eyes and watching you expressions. And he loves holding your hips and waist depending on the position.

His favorite part of himself is his hands and eyes, because he feels truly blessed that he has the ability to see and touch you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His preferred place is inside you, it’s the most intimate experience you can have during sex (he also has a breeding kink lol)

If you dont like creampies, then he’ll cum on your dick, vagina, or inner thighs. Since it’s the closest he can get to it being inside.

When he cums, there’s a lot, and it’s pretty thick.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It’s not even really a secret i guess.

But even though he usually loves being on top and pleasing you, he also secretly loves when you take charge and take care of him once in a while.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I cant really decide on this. 

But your either his first, or he had sex maybe once or twice before he became a demon.

Either way, little to no experience, but he’s a quick learner and will do anything to please you, so that easily makes up for it. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary and cowgirl. Both allow face-to-face contact and the ability to hold you. 

And like i said, he loves being on top and holding you in missionary.

But he also can’t deny it’s really fucking hot to watch you bounce on him and look him in the eyes.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very serious, he spends most of the time focusing on your pleasure and enjoying all the different sensations.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very neatly trimmed and short.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Lots of close holding, kissing, and whispers of praise and love.

If he’s feeling especially romantic, he’ll put on some light music and get some candles going.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He rarely does. Mostly because he only really gets horny with a specific person in mind (you).

and (assuming this letter is pre-relationship) he feels guilty when he masturbates to you, so he tries to avoid it. 

During the relationship, he pretty much stops completely, what's the point if you're there and enjoy pleasing him?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding, oral fixation, praise. 

His one exception to painful stuff is he does like to bite you a bit, and lick the blood up if any comes out.*

He’s mostly pretty vanilla.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bed. His room is more secluded in the basement level of the mansion so it allows for maximum privacy and comfort.

He’d also enjoy the shower or your room.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Knowing that you’re horny is his biggest turn on. 

Also your scent, if he smells your pheromones or senses your ovulating, that really gets him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything super painful or degrading, both for him and you (but esp he would never hurt you)*

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

GIVING. HIS TONGUE GOES CRAZY.

He is obsessed with going down on you, learning what every little motion and action does to you.

He still loves when you give him head though, he’s really sensitive so it always feels incredible.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He almost always starts slow and intimate, but about half the time he gets more quick and sloppy as he reaches his orgasm.

On rare occasions though, he might start and end very fast and rough.

Like if you were on a long mission (2+ weeks) he might just pounce on you as soon as you get to his room.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t really like them so they’re rare. 

The only time it’d happen is if he’s really pent up and needy, but also on a time crunch.

Like say you haven’t had sex in weeks, you finally get the opportunity today, but there’s only a 10-15 minute time window. He’ll make it work.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not into risks and kinky stuff. But if you have a more tame kink, he’d be willing to try.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Surprisingly not a super high stamina, he’ll last as long as he can, but like i said his dick is pretty sensitive so you won’t be going for hours.

He makes up for this with a lot of foreplay though.

And maybe 2-3 rounds at a time if you’re both up for it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Does not have any, doesn’t plan to use any.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn’t really tease, kind of likes it when you tease him tho.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Very vocal, lots of deep moans, growls, and heavy breathes. Occasionally some whimpers if you’re riding or blowing him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He still loves eating you out on your period (if you have them)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Like 8-9 inches, average girth. 

It’s very sensitive, esp the tip.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average. He loves having sex with you, but he’s not insatiably horny like Ben and Jeff. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t, he waits until your ready for bed so you can sleep together and cuddle.

[hwsing]

hi hi hi! i’d love to request america for the nsfw alphabet (if you want to!!!) please and thank you!

america nsfw alphabet

notes: 18+, reader is gender neutral and includes both bottom and top reader. includes: america (alfred f. jones). as always, reblogs are appreciated!

cws: me yapping as always; alfred is a bit weird but nice, creampies, roleplay, vibrators, switch! alfred. wc: about 1.7k words. not really proof read.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

generally speaking — alfred is a wee bit dense, and so i dont think he’s the type to go above and beyond everytime, especially at first; unless you give him some specifics to work with, he’s going to provide some stuff like water food etc a shower if you want, cuddles, just general decompressing. he’ll usually ask how you’re doing as a check in, but he’s not overly inclined to pressing if you don’t say you need something hdhddh. whatever you want is yours though!! he is a sweetie deep down and is Very prone to being. ahem. whipped

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself…. the general shoulder/arm region. i dont think hes particularly buff bc i dont think hes even remotely consistent with exercise but, yk those guys that like. hit the gym for six weeks and suddenly are almost ripped? he’s like that,,, just his genetics so no matter what he looks a lil beefy, esp with how much he eats. he likes how big/strong he looks

on his partner, it’s cheesy, but he’d *always* say eyes or your smile. your eyes preferably when you’re smiling, really! even if it’s from you scoffing at something stupid hes doing. what can i say he got the hopeless romantic trait from arthur

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i Must be honest. his cum does not taste particularly good. and he cums A LOT like … i think he’s quite into creampies because he really does have the necessities to make it happen. his favourite places to cum: your mouth/face, makes him flustered to see you have to lick it off

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

this was hard because i don’t think he keeps many secrets about this, and he isn’t overly kinky to begin with. i would say that maybe he can be a bit of a creep? he’s just very enamoured by his partner and fantasies a lot, which leads to him mentally sexualizing his partner. you can argue that’s just being horny, but he feels creepy whenever he realizes he’s staring at your ass or down your shirt.

by extension, he doesn’t usually have the balls to steal your underwear but if your laundry is out in the open in any way and you aren’t in the room…………….. you cannot blame him for touching them and taking a sniff okay?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

in our day and age? definitely a good amount of experience. i dont think he’s quite as experienced as he may seem, which embarrasses him on the low but he compensates with his outrageous confidence anyways. by no means close to a virgin though. he still gets around

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

okay so he might say reverse cowgirl but in reality it’s missionary doesnt matter if he’s top or bottom. he just thinks its a lame answer. side note, he loves to hold hands during missionary.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

YOU ALREADY KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW.. he can be more serious (especially if roleplay is involved, he gets oddly invested…) but for the most part he really really really just wants you n him to have a good time so he’ll put a lot of pressure on himself to be entertaining

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he trims and washes well but basically never shaves down there. he will if you ask but he just prefers to keep it trimmed and let it be for the most part. isn’t insanely hairy anyways though

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

alfred values the intimacy of sex quite a bit to be honest. he may not showcase this if you two aren’t close yet, but if you are, it’s so obvious how much he loves you. he’ll say it a lot too when you two are at that level — he borderline worships you in the bedroom honestly. he’s just kinda obsessed and cherishes the relationship he has with you DEEPLY

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i really do believe he had a small addiction at one point. not much to say about that so let’s move on… back in prime playboy days he absolutely read them and other lewd magazines; nowadays, he’s actually a bit more imaginative because i think in recent years he’d pick up the belief that most visual porn on like pornhub and sites of that nature tend to be exploitative. so, he tends to break out some music and get it done. he usually doesn’t get particularly horny unless prompted, so, he can find something to think of with ease.

kind of sucks at masturbating though. he’s horrible at pacing himself, and ends up edging himself accidentally a few times because he gets too close too soon and he has to back off immediately. his poor dick is not cared for well…

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i’ve already talked about some obvious ones throughout this alphabet, but another that randomly comes to mind is roleplay. he can feel a bit cringe about it but if he’s in the headspace he can get SO into it. obviously hero roleplay where you should reward him for saving you from the bad guy; he’d humbly dismiss the idea like a good hero, but he’s certainly not complaining when you tug down his pants and suck the life out of him in thanks!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

house/apartment, doesn’t matter where too much but in the privacy of your own space is what he prefers. would question god what he did to deserve it if he EVER got caught with his pants down so he’d just… prefer to keep it safe

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

so easily turned on it’s not even funny. i don’t think his sex drive is super high and sometimes it can feel a bit random — he’s just. So attracted to his partner. he’s losing the idgaf war every. single. day.

there’s the obvious — you bend over to pick something up, your lounge clothes are revealing, you eat something creamy; but, sometimes, it’s just your smile or you fixing up your clothes after they shift. it just gets him thinking…. unholy things….. he wishes he wasn’t so easy but, if you like to initiate, it’s very rare that it doesn’t immediately get him in the mood.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

not really an orgy kinda guy

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

https://www.tumblr.com/hwsing/716154815799066624/giving-head

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends a lot of his partner’s preferences to be honest, but generally, middle ground of rough/slow and deep. he’ll speed up and get messy as he gets close when he tops. if he’s bottoming, he prefers slow and gentle or mind numbingly rough and fast depending on the kinda day he had. sex in general can be a productive way for him to burn off stress!!

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not a quickie lover but is a quickie truther. sometimes they’re just what’s most convenient, especially during busy times of the year for him when he’s trapped working. you’ll *know* how much he misses you, though, with the needy texts you’ll receive.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

not as much as you’d probably expect but he’s still quite experimental! he can just feel a bit embarrassed/shy experiencing or doing something new in front of someone, especially if you already are knowledgeable/have done said thing, but he’ll put on his big boy pants and manage.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

as long as you need, and after. doesn’t last all that long himself unless he tries really hard to pace himself, but his recovery time is terrifying.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i have a hard time imagining he owns one himself, but he’s most certainly down to incorporate them, whether he has to buy them or you already own them. i think he’s particularly fond of vibrators (simple but he quite likes what he can turn you into with them!) and butt plugs

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

over all, i dont think i’d consider him a particularly big tease. he has his moments, but i think it’s more likely *you’re* the one teasing him, even if you don’t mean to be. his teasing would usually come from you being flustered or easily aroused, because not only is it cute to him, but a massive ego boost to him. win win!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

so sorry if you have a roommate and you guys do it at your place because boy is he ever LOUD he triessss not to sort of not really but he really cannot help it. will not and cannot stop yapping, let alone the *sounds* he makes — so much moaning and groaning and blah blah.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

has sneezed when he was yanking it and it was the most uncomfortable orgasm he can ever imagine

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

a shower, 7” long 6” girth he’s thicc, notably veiny but nothing overpowering. slightly curved. safe to say he’s quite satisfied with his package.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not particularly high. he usually needs a reason to be turned on — however, once he has a partner, suddenly a reason is often presenting itself…..

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

usually won’t fall asleep fast unless it’s past his bedtime already. just doesn’t tire very easily.

[year2000electronics]

What is your take on Relativity Falls Fiddleford?

SO. UH. i very much still do not have any sort of concrete, finalized take on relativity falls (there are just so many possibilities to do) but i think fiddleford specifically i always like to highlight in that au when im talking about it because to me he can kinda start one of my favourite conversations, which is "just what are the 'swapping' rules when you make a 'swap au'?" when do you break those rules, if there even is the point of making rules in general, and is there swap aus where you only swap one thing and so everything follows that change in tandem?

and i bring this up specifically because a lot of the time, in relativity falls, fiddleford's role i'd specifically classify as just

"isnt he a stand-in for candy/grenda when he's the stan twins' friend?" NOT NECESSARILY. because even when they play it the most straight and have fiddleford swap with, like, candy. right. everybody really likes fiddleford! most of the time, relativity falls fans and old mystery trio fans DIRECTLY overlap. so fiddleford isnt just candy or grenda, because he is implied to have so much more screentime/serious moments than candy and grenda do. because we like fiddleford and want to see more of him!

but that begs the question, do you just pretend really hard that fiddleford is just a direct stand-in for candy & grenda, or do you acknowledge that when one cast of characters swaps ages with another cast, and by extension, swaps stories, it's not going to be an exact even split?

and once you get over THAT, you can REALLY start having fun with aus like this. because if youre like "well fiddleford doesnt necessarily have to be a direct parallel to candy and grenda, it doesnt always have to be an exact 'character swap'"! you end up going from this sort of uphill battle of having to do things like making dipper and candy be portal partners to something like, i dont know, PACIFICA filling in fiddleford's role while she also takes on a bit of a lazy susan role! and fiddleford can just be the kid friend of the stans' since YOU CAN JUST DO THAT!

...but if you asked ME, what i would do with fiddleford? well, i would make him the stans' friend, obviously, but i think i would make him the handyman of the mystery shack. ...yes, taking soos' role.

why? well, soos is the best tritagonist for dipper and mabel, usually! he's also someone who tinkers with stuff, just like fidds! it feels like a natural fit for mystery trio-esque shenanigans, no?

but of course, that begs the question "mothra, fiddleford is 12, mabel couldnt legally HIRE him, right??" great point! fiddleford basically begged mabel to let him work there so he could have access to power tools. you wanna know how they cover up the fact that mabel is kinda letting a kid work at the mystery shack?

yeah. thats what i would do.

so where does that lead soos in "portal incident" story? is he the equivalent to mcgucket? i dont really know. he doesnt necessarily have to be. he could be anything. maybe hes the mayor. i dont know

[godsstrongestangel]

ASTRO NOTES - 1

These are notes not observations because yes these are factz onlii 🗿 Take it with a pinch of salt

⚠️TW- sensitive, my cry soft babies 🥺 this is not for u honey just take my virtual hug 🫂 and take care of urself 💗

Capricorn moons are a disgrace to Capricorn community it is because of them the "capricorn sun" is stereotyped as judgemental and close minded for being so rigid when in reality it is true for moons onli the cap suns are the sweetest and most open minded people ever infact they are observational and not judgemental which indicates a higher level of intelligence unlike the cap moons (we get it its in detriment and you got a ton loads of mommy issue but baby whos gonna heal them? 🤡forget being the joker now, past is over)

Same way libra suns are petty and pathetic esp with their manipulative as well as people pleasing behaviors they are disgrace to libra community its other libra placements that represents true beauty and not shallowness or over rationalisation

I have to break it up to you but aquarius venus does not move on that easily infact many times it fails to move on they are just good at hiding it wanna know why? Because it is ruled by saturn daddy that means it is disciplined, determined and focused AND NO THEY ARE NOT CHEATERSSSS!!! Also being ruled by uranus means they will keep on bringing new changes (cant say for good or bad whoops!! ) in the relationship because it is a visionary sign they are probably daydreaming about marriage 🥺🥺 and yall are here throwin misiformation😒💀 PLUS ITSSS A FIXED SIGN WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM A FIXED SIGN SOCIETY?? TO MOVE ON IN THE SNAP OF A FINGER LIKE THANOSSSS BRO??

Now speaking of fixed venuses (aquarius, taurus, scorpio and leo) all of these fixed venus people at least have one lover they can never move on from they might feel they have moved on then suddenly the memories resurface 🏄🏻‍♀️🏄🏻‍♀️ you thought it was over huh?🤺🤺

Whats up with SCORPIO placements having a love for dogs and having a dog pet at least once in their life (esp moon) and then scorpio suns usually hating cats? 🗿 is it because they are willful and wont be manipulated by u? I suggest u seek some psychopath diagnosis this is some serious underdeveloped energy SIS/BRO IT IS UNHEALTHY

Aries and Scorpio mars would love the idea of tearing your clothes while making out or making love 😏💗🥵

Libra moons with air rising should actually consider polyamory

All libra moons are true romantics or should i say hopeless romantics

Cancer suns are pathological liars Its not Gemini yall need to stop giving them fake rep of lying

Leos suns talk a lot and they do not mix well with earth suns even if they try to earth sun will eventually find themselves pissed and drained bcuz of how much they speak and boast they are constantly speaking 😂 (gives headaches in worst case scenario)

Virgo sun and risings really do a lot of stuff and chores despite having phone addiction and even if they are not good in academic or dislike what they are studying they will still be seen suffering with books and notebooks

Venusians suns with leo moon are pretty miserable they are pessimistic and overthinkers it feels like they dont have touch with their emotions at all because they are constantly rationalising emotions to the point they are repulsive to deep feelers and feels almost inhumane 😬like you would not like forming deep connections with them because you will realise they lack emotional capabilities to connect with they sometimes can even make you loathe them or very annoyed its like you are dealing with someone who doesnt make sense at all as if their brain is underdeveloped or something you just dont wanna deal with them

Scorpio placements are not loyal

Sagittarius placements and doms laugh a lot 😂

All capricorn suns and virgo risings are skinny or petite

Aquarius suns do love posting on social media a lot and they do care about ur instagram 💀

Air venus can easily stay loyal with online relationships infact they are all loyal idk where the stereotypes are stemming from

[siddyyyyyyyy]

No, I didn't.

Pairing: Father figure!Price (x reader) (PLATONIC)

wc: 1.8 kwarnings: daddy issueswhat, military stuff but i dont have much knowledge, no y/n used, no angst, don't worry

Summary: Captain is similiar to being your father figure and you accidentally call him "dad"!!!!!!!!!!!

a/n: (this thing has been rotting in my notes app for a while) there's no romantic plot in this one, just some thoughts I've had about Price and him being the 'dad' figure or something, enjoy

Working with the TaskForce141 is definitely a lot of work and needs a lot of training, being able to cope and deal with high stress situations. It's all not a big deal for you, since you've been training for this a long time anyway and have probably seen it all by now. From a pile of dead bodies to difficult decision making in order to save people. All this doesn't exactly affect you, at least not as hard as the very first time you experienced these things. After years and years of experience it started to just be another day at work, which doesn't mean it got boring. It's definitely not boring, and if you were honest with yourself for once, it feels like the team you're in makes it easier to get along with missions and makes them less stressful.

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick is about the same age as you, if not only a few months older. He's mostly calm and respectful but won't let anyone disrespect anyone else or himself, always making sure to get his opinion straight and be open-minded for anything. It's great to talk to him, him having a smooth voice and being one of the pretty faces you've seen around. Your other teammate, Johnny 'Soap' McTavish is a pretty interesting person himself. A loyal soldier and a strong one at that aswell, his arms looking like he could rip a tree in half if he wanted to. His scottish accent always comes out thicker whenever he's angry or got a beer too much. But besides that, he is also a pretty good person to talk to, especially when needing some advice for relationships and other topics.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley must be one of the most mysterious people you've seen around. You know pretty much nothing about him, besides him liking his earl grey tea and silly little army jokes. He holds a lot to himself and keeps quiet almost always and looks like he could tear you apart if you breath the wrong way. But he actually wouldn't, being his teammate is safer than to be his enemy. Besides his cold nature and brutal way of handling things, he actually tries to care for his team in his own way too. Checking up on you from time to time on a difficult mission, mostly just to make sure you don't fuck it up. You're not the type to have a favorite in a group, but if you needed to decide, it would probably be John Price. Your very own Captian. He's cold, if not the coldest person you know, always being fast in decision making and not letting anyone get in his way, no matter what. Price always makes sure to be there for his team too, cracking a few small 'dad jokes' then and there if the time is right.

Now, you're all waiting in the middle of a desert for a vehicle to pick you up after another successful mission. It was a mission that went on for several days but it was great, with minor difficulties. As your sitting on the sand, while making sure the sun doesn't give you a stroke, the others are talking about the mission. Well, just the few funny or minor mistakes they did while on mission. Soap is telling about how he accidentally let his magazine fall to the ground while reloading and almost slipped on a rock while doing so. But he got up and continued with the mission as usual, so it wasn't serious and just something to laugh about. After a few chuckles and jokes, Price spoke up and mentioned you, doing something similar.

»I saw you once throw a magazine out instead of a granade. Just giving out free ammunition like that.«

He teased you a little about it while mostly just Johnny and Kyle laughed about it with Price, lightheartedly teasing you about it some more. After another one of the Captains typical dad jokes, you finally speak up as you got enough of them.

»Okay, stop it dad.« You scoff lightly with a slight headshake, realizing only a few seconds later what you actually said. You're met with silence for a moment before Johnny cracks up and chuckles, not able to hold it back in.

»Did I hear you right, there? Did you just call him-«

»Enough. I didn't say anything.« You interrupt and stand up from your sitting spot on the sand, dusting your pants off. The truck arrives just in time, sparring you from any more embarrassing stuff happening to you for now. Price is genuinely suprised about you calling him that, not having thought anyone from his team could see him as something like a father figure. He doesn't mind that much anyway but also thinks he isn't that old. Eventually, he doesn't bring it up, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and he doesn't really think too much of it at the end of the day.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

　Something similar happens another time, two or three months after the first 'incident', how you call it. The moment since you accidentally called your Captain dad, you promised to focus way more on what you say as if you didn't already do that all the time.

Once in the mess hall to eat dinner, you couldn't help but feel more tired than usual. Probably because you didn't catch much sleep last night or maybe because you had a lot of paperwork that day, either way you felt rather tired but nothing too bad for you to handle. You're sitting at the right corner of the table while eating with the rest at one of the tables, eating peacefully while listening to the conversations around you. Sometimes listening to the small drama from a table across or just trying to see who else is eating dinner in the mess hall aswell. The food is nothing special, just the usual mashed potatoes, some sauce and meat to it. Salad is also there for everyone. Even though the food isn't bad, you can't help but want more salt in it, feeling like it hasn't got enough of it. Glancing up from your food, you see that Price is sitting closest to the salt shaker. Without much thinking you speak up, looking at him while asking.

»Dad, could you pass me the salt?« You ask casually and wait for him to hand you the salt shaker, not having realized yet what you really said for now. He shrugs and hands it over to you over the table, keeping a straight face as if nothing's wrong.

»Sure, kiddo.« It's a bit strange for him to call you 'kiddo' right now, but you don't question it and pour some salt into your food. Price continues to eat his own food, but you can't help but notice how silent it became around the table for some reason. Before you could look up again, Johnny chimes in.

»Didn't know you were his kid.« He nudges your shoulder softly and waits for your reaction, carefully watching how you react. You're a bit confused and look to him next to you, the gears in your head finally turning. Kyle can't help but smirk slightly at this whole thing as he tries to continue eating, turning his head away a bit.

»No- it's.... I didn't- what?« You stumble over your words while trying to explain this, eventually getting frustrated with yourself. Your back leans back against your chair while sighing out, being ready to gaslight them about this slip up. »It's alright. Happens.« Price reassures you even though he has a very faint smirk on his own lips about the situation, just not addressing it as much as Johnny.

»It's not the first time this happened, right?« Kyle's the one to tease you this time, looking over to you at the table all the while you're hiding your face a bit again.

»No, nothing never happened.« You shake your head and just continue eating your food more quickly, so you can escape this situation as fast as possible.

The conversations around the table return to its usual after a moment, no one addressing it anymore afterwards. Ghost was always just observing your reactions and the situation itself in both times it happened, having noticed a few things.

For example that it happened when you looked tired or when you were seemingly relaxed, speaking from your body language. Or how your ears become increasingly more red the moment you realise what happened, making it more amusing for him to watch your reaction. But of course he wouldn't mention any of those things, especially not to the whole group since it could come off a bit weird. He keeps it to himself but still can't help but tease you subtly about it during a round of joking in the team, mostly just addressing how easily something can embarrass you.

But to say he's the only who noticed that, is wrong. Price was probably the first person to notice those things about you, finding it also amusing in a way. He doesn't exactly mind you calling him 'dad' sometimes by accident but when it happens, he mostly thinks about why you do it. Probably having no proper father figure in your life or maybe he just reminds you of your own father. Maybe it's just the personality he gives off, making it seem like he's the fatherly one in the team. Either way, he finds it mostly wholesome, knowing he makes his team feel comfortable around him. But he keeps quiet about it, not wanting to embarass you even though he finds it oddly amusing to see how you act once something embarrassing or humbling happens to you.

But you on the other hand, you don't find it amusing at all. You're ready to launch at them the moment something remotely humbling happens in front of them, ready to gaslight them if it means they'll forget about one small thing. But you don't do it, considering they're your team mates and you're all almost equally strong. But even though they don't make seriously fun of you and tell you it's all jokes at the end of the day, you still can't help but feel even a little embarrassed about it. It's like having a small crisis to yourself, not sure what others think about you now or how you should act from now on around them. But that's just you being dramatic. Mostly.

[soubeomies]

୨୧ “I WANT IT TO BE REAL TOO.”

⤷ PAIRING﹕ intak x gn!reader

⤷ WARNINGS ﹕nothing!

⤷ GENRE﹕fluff

⤷ WC﹕849

⤷ AUTHOR'S NOTE﹕this is not meant to hate on yunjin guys!! i just use a random kpop idol name to use for this fic<3 ty for reading!

⤷ SYNOPSIS ﹕a girl had been so obsessed over intak, so he asked you to help him out and have a fake relationship with him. little did you know, you would develop feelings for him.

intak was your generic, oh-so-dreamy popular guy in school. in which happens to be your best friend ever, he was the friend you called whenever a guy broke your heart, the contact in your phone you’d hurriedly text when you’re in trouble. though, at school, you tried to be lowkey about it. well, he says it’s so girls dont think he's dating you. you didn't care, you liked to say you'd rather die than date intak.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

you and intak were just hanging out during lunch, the atmosphere was quiet, since the other students had already gone to their next class but you and intak hadn't taken that class. so the both of you were stuck together, chatting about everything under the sun in the school's cafeteria. though naturally, you ran out of things to talk about.. all until he started speaking in a more serious tone.

“y/n,” he says with a little bit of annoyance in his voice. your head perked up as you looked at him intently, was he mad at you? “huh? what's up?” you asked him. 

“you know yunjin? from class c.” he asks you.

“yeah, whats wrong with her?”

“she’s been nagging me so much, clinging onto me.. and all that weird stuff.” he says, seemingly overwhelmed and somewhat upset. “a lot of girls do that to you, what's so different about her?” you stated as you playfully nudged him, still not realising he was dead serious.

“i'm serious! it's making me uncomfortable, y/n. she's doing too much..” he says, in a pleading tone. he followed up his sentence with a little bit of a request.. “i was thinking um.. if it's not awkward for you ofcourse. what if we acted like.. something was going on between us? maybe that will give her the hint, yknow..?”

your eyebrows furrowed at his pleading tone and those stupid puppy eyes he gives you. you gave in with a sigh, “fine. i better get something out of this.”

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

and just like that, the two of you started to publicly display your affection to one another, being more touchy than usual, as you laughed at every single one of his cheesy jokes. 

the both of you were walking down the halls after school while you chatted. “coincidentally” yunjin from class c, bumped into intak. grazing her hands all across his body. ew..  you thought to yourself.

“oops! sorry.. didn't mean to bump into you..” yunjin says, pouting her plump pink lips at him. he looks at her as he nudges you, signalling for you to do something. you realised his stupid nudging as you quickly acted. “.. th–that's my man girl. you better back off.” OH MY FUCKING GOD!! no way you actually said that. you felt the embarrassment surge through your body as you tried to hide the red hue that was appearing on your cheeks and ears.

“you? and not me? that's hilarious.” she says mockingly as she walks off and gives intak a little smirk before leaving. after she left, you looked at intak with the reddest hue on your face. “no way i just said that..” you said as you covered your face. he replied with a little chuckle, “you saved my life though.”

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

months go by of all this fake dating.. and you can't lie, he wasn't all that bad. bringing you flowers in the middle of class, defending you in front of his stupid little popular friends, and he even started posting you on his instagram. if you didn't know this was all fake, you would be so convinced the two of you were madly in love. 

you knew it was embarrassing to admit, but, you were in love. you never thought, never in a million years that you would be in love with intak.. your best friend. but you couldn't keep this a secret for any longer, if you kept it to yourself for longer you felt like you were about to explode.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

you were blanking out, still trying to figure out how to tell intak how you feel. “y/n!” a muffled voice screams out, “y/n! are you even listening to me?” intak says as he waves his hand infront of your face, snapping you out of your little trance. you looked at him nervously with a nod, “uh! yeah! i'm okay! i'm fine!”

“no you’re not, tell me, whats up?” he says, shifting his tone to a more calming one. “its just..” 

“i don't think i want it to be fake anymore.”

you say, not even daring to fix your gaze at him, what if he thought you were weird? what if he rejects you? ah! why did you even say that? you could've just kept it to yourself! oh you’re so stupid–

“y/n,” he says as he grabs you hands, intertwining fingers with you. it felt intimate, it felt like the both of you shared those feelings. “i want it to be real too.” he says, his eyes lit up at you in excitement. “y/n, will you be my girlfriend? for real this time.” he says with a cheeky smile (˶˃⤙˂˶)

[jesterofcringe]

JOYRIDE [Street Racer AU] Shauna Shipman X Reader ★ Rivals 2 Lovers if you squint, horribly inaccurate street racing, im trying my best im so sorry guys 💀 ★

[i watched like a bajillion videos to try and get this accurate but i kinda hollywood-ified the chase scene so,, idk guys i dont get in police chases in my free time just pretend its accurate for my sake and yours 😭] ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

You had a somewhat shitty hobby, dangerous and moronic as most of your relatives put it. But you couldn't help it- you were truly an adrenaline junkie. It was all about the rush for you, the thrill of the chase and risk of the adventure. All the good stuff that got your heart pounding.

Maybe you had a few friends that were bikers, but they weren't as into it as you were. Casual riders who didn't see the point in street racing, preaching to you about how the cons horrifically outweigh the pros. They just didn't get it. Nobody understood the way you did.

Well, one person understood.

Shauna Shipman, speedster and thrill seeker, known for throwing caution into the wind and yet still being an incredibly talented rider. You admired her, and would sing your praises if it weren't for the whole "bitter rivalry" thing you two had going on.

Truly, you had no idea how it started. You two always ended up being side by side somehow. Street race here, cop chase there, it always ended up the two of you as you sped through the night and gambled with your lives just for the chance to come out on top. You won some, you lost others, but it usually came out to a draw as you two silently agreed to put your egos aside to avoid getting arrested.

You supposed you'd have to save being good sport for the next meet. At least, that's what you told yourself until you realized Shauna had different plans. Handshakes were slapped away, smiles met with sneers, you couldn't even get in a "Good race" without getting shoulder checked. So you decided to match her energy.

"Not a good loser are you, Shipman?"

"That was unfair- we both know I would've kicked your ass!"

"Whatever makes you feel better Shippy."

"Eat shit."

"You first."

So became the pre-race routine; you'd meet in the parking lot and shit talk before proving your worth on the highway. You actually started arriving earlier so you could have just a bit more time with Shauna, even if it was spent taking turns calling each other mean names.

Because beyond the hostile attitude and aggressive sass you knew it was just a front.

Shauna could furrow her eyebrows and scrunch up her nose but she couldn't hide the humanity in her eyes. The kind you saw when she offered to give you a lift after your bike broke down, or when she gave you her jacket on a rainy day when you forgot your own. Little kind gestures you only seemed to receive when you were alone and she didn't have to raise her guard like a knight standing post.

You weren't quite sure why she was so guarded in public, but you had a sneaking suspicion your feigned rivalry was something of an outlet. Projection maybe. Whatever the hell it was, you knew it wasn't really serious. You just wished there was a way you could've gotten her number when half of your conversations were shit talking.

Shit talking was better than no talking, you decided as you pulled up to the designated meeting spot way ahead of schedule. The meeting location was a gas station parking lot this time, and you had decided you would maybe get an energy drink or some other snack while you waited for the rest of the bikers to arrive.

As you were heading towards the building, you spotted Shauna standing by the gas pumps, tapping her foot to an even rhythm as she re-fueled her bike. You could almost sense her annoyance when she glanced over and noticed you. As a sarcastic greeting you gave her a small salute, to which she responded with a heavy eyeroll.

"You're quite early Shipman. Why is that?"

"Why do you think smartass?" She said as she gestured towards the gas pump, "I could ask you the same thing."

It was then you realized that unlike Shauna, you didn't have a good excuse. In the way back of your mind you knew the reason why you were there was out of your own selfish desire to see her before you were back to pretending you hated each other's guts- except you couldn't actually tell her that.

Shauna tilted her head to the side in a questioning manner as you failed to give her a proper response. After an awkward couple of seconds, you decided it was best to ignore her question as a whole.

"Do you want anything from inside? I'm gonna get an energy drink." Wordlessly, Shauna shook her head no. Despite this, just to be a pest you added on with, "I'm gonna get you bubble gum. You seem like a bubble gum person."

"I hate bubble gum."

"You... what?" The more you dwelled on it, it felt incredibly in character for Shauna to not like bubble gum. And yet you were still surprised, "How can you hate bubble gum? Everyone likes bubble gum."

"Yeah, if you're like five years old." Shauna said with a scoff. A small smirk crossed over her lips, almost making you wonder if she was playing devil's advocate. It didn't seem totally unreasonable to assume Shauna was carefully choosing her words to see what response you would give. If she was, you were completely taking the bait.

"What next Shipman? Are you allergic to fun and whimsy too?"

And so it began, the typical bickering that always accompanied your time together. Arguing over absolute nonsense as if nonsense was your life line. So familiar and yet so distant.

You weren't sure how long the two of you had been caught up in your pointless argument until you eventually realized more bikers had been pulling into the parking lot, most of which seemed to be pulling on their gear and getting ready to roll out. You cursed under your breath as you realized you had been completely distracted by Shauna and wouldn't have anytime to get something from inside the gas station. You were completely convinced she did that on purpose, but you couldn't quite prove it.

You pulled your helmet on as you scurried over to your bike, absolutely determined not to let Shauna have the last laugh. You even made a point to flip her off as you and many of the other bikers began to pull out of the parking lot and drive towards the highway.

The mob of bikers merged onto the highway, most of which hanging in the right lane as a duo periodically flew down the left. You tried to maintain the same speed as your attention went into watching the races speed past. You distractedly watched the bikes whir by, until Shauna waved at you to get your attention. She pointed at you, then herself, and then the left lane. The gesture took you a brief moment to decipher, until you watched as she merged over and gestured for you to follow. Hell yeah, finally.

One final biker remained in the right lane to signal to you guys to initiate the race. As you and Shauna tried to match each other's pace and line up your bikes as best as you could, you looked to your right to realize the other biker was frantically trying to give you a signal- but not the one you expected. They rapidly tapped the top of their helmet before pointing at the on coming highway ramp. You knew that signal well, but it was too little too late as you sped past the highway ramp a little less than delighted to see two cop cars at the end of the ramp.

Oh fuck- it's a raid.

You exchanged a quick glance with Shauna- one in which you thought expressed mutual understanding, but you were quickly proven wrong as you both proceeded to complete opposite actions. You started to slow in hopes that the cops would ignore you while Shauna leaned into her bike and sped up further, zooming down the highway and leaving you in the dust. Shauna revving up was enough for the cops to turn their lights on, meaning you were absolutely cooked seeing how far behind you were.

Only one option, you figured, as you leaned into your bike and tried to catch up to Shauna.

Street lights flashed past as you wove through cars, cop sirens ringing behind you and eventually fading out as you swiftly made your way down the highway and eventually ended up back in line with Shauna. She sat up, surprised, as you nodded at her before giving her a taste of her own medicine and bolting past her. You briefly considered popping a wheelie just to rub it in, but considering the current situation (plus the fact that you were pushing 170 mph) you thought better of it and instead focused on getting away from the cops.

You had a decent lead on them, and signaled to Shauna to get off the highway. You watched in her in your side view mirror- partially out of concern for her safety and partially to make sure she was actually following behind you- and although she flipped you off she complied and merged off.

It was a bit of a higher risk speeding through town, but you were pretty sure you knew what you were doing.

You were forced to slow down slightly as you didn't want to slam into a car traveling much slower than you were. You did your best to maintain a steady pace as you continued to weave through traffic and fly down the street.

Glancing in your rear view mirror, you noticed Shauna take a different turn than you did. You figured she knew where she was going- you did as well, you just needed to be able to make another good breakaway from the cops.

Shauna's sudden turn threw both cops back on your tail. They were still decent ways behind you, but that didn't mean you could completely ignore them. Seeing as they were still laser focused on you, a good sike out would be needed to shake them off.

You knew exactly how to do it, you just needed to time it well.

Up ahead was an old abandoned mechanic's shop. For kicks you used to hang around and explore it when you were a teenager. Since you had, you were pretty familiar with the place. The building had it all- broken down walls, dirty windows, it was even mostly overcome with vines. The perfect hideout.

The best part? It was connected to an alley way, meaning you could drive through it with your bike and no cars would be able to follow. If timed well, you could effectively throw off the cops by making it seem like you had turned a corner. You had done it before, and you would do it now. It worked like an absolute charm.

You knew you had time as the cops were forced to go around the block. Quietly as you could you drove up to the old building, turning off your headlights to conceal yourself. You parked your bike behind one of the large broken down walls before swiftly jumping off and running deeper into the building.

The building was extremely dark, save for the street lights slicing through the windows. You took your helmet off so you could see better because you didn't want to take out your phone light and bring more attention to yourself. Slowly, you crept up towards one of the windows, eagerly peering out so you could try and figure out where the cops were. You could faintly hear the sirens, but you couldn't quite place where they may be. You craned your neck, desperate to see if they were around the corner, when suddenly someone from behind grabbed a fistful of the back of your shirt and roughly yanked you backwards into a dark corner.

It was all too sudden for you to make a move. You barely processed what was happening as they shoved you back against the wall behind you. Before you could shout, their hands clapped against your mouth and effectively muffled the sound.

"It's just me! Shut up so they don't notice us!"

As the voice sliced through the silence, you were able to slowly figure out who it was shoving you up against the wall. It was too damn dark to see her clearly, but the soft moonlight was able to define just enough of her features for your eyes to be able to slowly paint the picture of the girl covering your mouth with an angry desperation.

Slowly, Shauna moved her hands so they were no longer on your mouth but now on either side of your head. Adrenaline from the scare continued to coarse through your veins as your heartbeat rang through your ears.

"They're right down the street. You would've been caught if you kept ogling out the window like that."

"Jesus Shipman!" You stammered, "Why the hell didn't you just tell me to move back like a normal person?"

Your question seemed to answer itself as you were able to hear the faint sirens grow louder from right down the street. From the corner of the window you were able to spot a small red and blue flashing light source, progressively growing with the sound of the siren.

It didn't take rocket science to realize the cops were right outside.

Out of instinct you tried to flatten yourself against the wall to avoid being detected. Shauna tried to as well, though out of urgency and panic she lowkey forgot to get off you and instead chose to press up against you until the cops passed. Her forearms boxed in your head and she shifted a bit so her knees were up against your thighs. She pushed up against you as much as she could while she carefully watched the cop car drive past the window.

As soon as they were gone, the both of you finally acknowledged the position you were currently in. With a heavy blush, Shauna quickly stepped back.

"...Sorry about that."

Impulsively, you almost whistled, but you knew that was shitty and stopped yourself before you did. Instead you decided it was easier to ignore what happened by lecturing Shauna.

"Why did you speed off? We probably would've been fine if we slowed down."

Shauna gave you a puzzled look, "Cops pull over bikers any chance they can get."

"Yeah but we probably would've been mostly fine if we lied and said we weren't racing."

"Are you crazy? When has that ever worked?"

"I'm just saying your little joyride is what got us chased."

"Whatever." Shauna huffed. You watched her scoop her helmet off the floor as she began to walk away. She paused suddenly, turning on her heels to face you again, "...Are you ok?"

You nodded with a small smile, "Totally uninjured. You?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Good."

You watched her walk away without so much as a goodbye. You were ready to do the same, but you just had to be annoying one last time before you left for good.

"I totally won by the way-"

"-Oh fuck off."