#i dont understand the black experience but i can sure as shit understand how much it sucks to switch your natural way of speaking for the

[onlyfangz]

actually no i want to talk about parallels in oppression more. obviously different kinds of oppressions arent always going to be 1:1, but more often than not when you speak to other marginalised people who dont share all of your marginalisations, you will find common ground more often than not.

ive had black people connect with me over feeling pressured to use a more socially acceptable accent when not in my lower class neighbourhood, ive had south east asian people connect with me over my transness and looking noticeably Other in public, ive had people with speech impediments connect with my ADHD and lack of ability to articulate myself when overstimulated, ive had deaf people connect with my APD and the social anxiety that comes along with not understanding whats being said to you, ive had brown and eastern european immigrants connect with my queerness and feeling unwelcome in public spaces.

we can sit and bellyache all day about """them""" not """getting it""" but if you actually talk to regular every day people, you realise, shock, horror, "outsiders" of your community are people too, and bigotry often isnt clever or unqiue between communities. we are so obsessed with identity politics nowadays, and we clutch our pearls at the mere thought of two people of different marginalisations being able to relate to each other, and it leads to such a paranoia about being the perfect ally to every group youre not in, instead of just mucking down the shit together. wtf happened to "ill scratch your back and you scratch mine?" at the end of the day, the black man gunned down by the police isnt any less dead than the trans person murdered by their one night stand isnt any less dead than the disabled person "mercy killed" by their "caregiver" isnt any less dead than the chinese person killed over covid panic isnt any less dead than the poor man whos government let them die in the gutter isnt any less dead than the asylum seeker who was forced to drown in the sea.

do you understand?

[lemmetreatya]

content: black coded reader, soft ony omg, cunnilingus, blowjob

nerd!onyankopon who doesnt get into too much trouble and sticks to himself during most of uni

nerd!onyankopon whos so good to you — always cheering you on with your hobbies and making you feel secure within your relationship. he didnt entertain other girls and even when they did have the audacity to try it with him, he knew how to stay faithful.

“look sweetheart, im flattered you’d try move to me but imma tell you two reasons why im turning you down.”

the blonde girl gave nerd!onyankopon a quizzical look, her eyebrows raising at the sheer distraught of a man denying her.

“reason two, my beautiful wife of a girlfriend over there wouldn’t like that.” hed say as he pointed to you. “but reason number one, is because i wouldn’t like that and neither want to do wrong by her a day in my life. now do us both a favour and keep it pushing.”

nerd!onyankopon who knew he was smart but didnt allow his intelligence to undermine how you felt in the relationship. if you said the stars were made yesterday then nerd!onyankopon would agree and fight anyone who disagreed.

nerd!onyankopon who was superb at time-keeping but when it came to spending time with you, would rather throw time away just so he could be in your presence undisturbed.

“shawty, imma be real with you right now” nerd!onyankopon flops his head onto the warmness of your plush thighs, his throat making a whiney noise along with it. “i really dont wanna study for this final.”

you can only but laugh at his uncompliance, your hand automatically lifting to pat at his head.

“come on, pa. you know this shits important.” you try.

“yeah but i have no incentive to do it.”

with a raised eyebrow, you give your pouting boyfriend a look.

“you want an incentive? oh okay, ill give you an incentive.” you giggle as you lean down to whisper something* into his ear.

all of a sudden, nerd!onyankopon is shooting upwards to look at you, his eyes wide and his smile addictive.

“for real?!” he beams.

“for real for real!”

nerd!onyankopon doesnt waste time in scrambling to go sit at his desk and start revising, suddenly excited for what you had in store for him.

*(you promised him you’d play 2K with him)

nerd!onyankopon who was nervous to approach the topic of sex with you because he didn’t want to make you feel pressured into anything or make you feel like he just wanted you for your body.

nerd!onyankopon was adamant that he sat down and had an open conversation with you about how to approach your sex life — and you did — but it turns out you both had the same concerns and were pretty much on the same page

nerd!onyankopon who waited a few weeks before trying anything.

nerd!onyankopon who somehow ended up between your legs whilst you were watching a random movie. his mouth understanding against your cunt as he made out with your lower lips. how hed occasionally glance up at you or squeeze your hand to make sure you were okay, loving the small pretty sounds you made whenever he’d sensually suckle on your clit.

how he’d say “you dont have to return anything” once you’d come down from your high. “i just wanted to make you feel good” but you’re adamant you always want to make him feel the way he made you.

youve never heard nerd!onyankopon make these sort of noises before — the experience is so new to you both — but you love how short his breaths are when you suck at the head of his dick and then engulf your mouth over the rest of him.

how nerd!onyankopon cant help but give you praises of “you’re so good at this, mama” or “just like that, jusssst like that, princess”.

even when hes about to cum, nerd!onyankopon is still so patient with you. “im g-gonna…baby, take your…let go, im gonna cum.” you unclamp your mouth from his cock, eyes doey as you look up at him, but not all before he lets out a guttural moan and spurts his load over your cheeks and top lip.

“oh my god, im so sorry.” hed try to issue an apology, thinking youd be put off by where he landed but you only shake your head.

“don’t worry. its fine. i just wanted to make you feel good” you echo and nerd!onyankopon has to stop himself from falling more in love

for: @neptunes1nterweb

[tiajk]

Here are the black batsis head cannons

warnings: crack, Love lots of it, shitty parents, sibling bonds, things that only make sense to black people, so sad racism, your a vigal i’m this

This is one of the things you guys voted so here you

So for the sake of the plot you are very very african like you have the accent and everything (it can be whatever you imagination chooses light heavy whatever ) bruce had known you through a drug deal he had busted your father he's was selling drugs when bruce chases him all the way to your apartment your home he had found your mother overdosed your father now where to be found and you just sleeping in the room

You waking up when you feel a certain caped crusader watching you in your sleep

When gordon and the police came they took your mother to the hospital she didn't make it your father they caught him at the bar and he is going to prison for the rest of his life

Gordon knows he has a thing for kids that need a home

You had gone home with im the next day and had been apart of the batfam ever since

You had been adopted right after Jason so that made you the first girl (before he died) Dick was 17 Jason was 12 you were 11

You and dick weren’t that close because of the age gap but he made it work he visited the manor more for you and Jason like going on missions together and dropping you off to school you made fun of his red head fetish a lot tho

you and Jason were the closet because of your age but you guys shared some of the same interest reading is the most common one. something you guys do a lot is trade books you will read his stuff and he’ll read your it’s like a little book club

now you and tim were very rough at first of course you were mourning jason’s death and tim comes along it was alot,for you but you loved him no matter what

Damian….when you guys met he thought you were like everyone else unimpressive and unimportant but you treated him the same way it only lasted for a week when he saw you in the garden drawing the scenery a way to relax but you guys relate to each other the most because your both not white it’s connects you guys more

Stephanie and you were close asf she was always in love with who you are and your confidence you guys would always have girl days with cass ofc she would do you make-up a lot she wants to experiment because the boys are all the same and Damian won’t let her (unless you ask him)

now you and cass when she came to the manor she didn’t talk much and your were just fine neither that you were her voice in situations and when she started to talk you were so proud of her you always helped her no matter what

NOW U AND DUKE WERE LOCKED INN you guys are the only African-american people in the house so y’all just did things that made sense to you guys like taking your shoes off in the house, WASHING the chicken before you season it but anyways whenever the family said some where people things y’all gave each other the “I know he didn’t just say/do that” the family doesn’t understand for example one time it was your birthday your 21st birthday you had 2 of the biggest and i mean biggest party possible the first one was for bruce’s friends and all the fake bitches that were only there for money and show themselves off

the second party was for your friends and siblings like the justice leagues kids and every true friend you’ve grown to love over the years after cleaning the party you guys would hear a noise from down the hall jason and his bright mine said let’s go check it out before the rest of the fam could find you two y’all had already bolted sure you were vigilantes but you were not doing no scary shit tonight

Alfred he loved you with all his heart dont tell the others but your his favorite he teaches you how to cook his food and you can do it perfect your the only one who hasn’t and ever will get a ban from the kitchen

Bruce and you weren’t always the nicest to each other but you love each other to death your just like him a workaholic and doesn’t take brakes unless there needs to be sometimes not even Alfred can pull you away but bruce comes and carry’s you like the little girl he wish you still were you TRY and i mean TRY to teach him how to cook it’s terrible tho

Selina was like your mother too you she thought you how to be strong like nothing else you guys went on a few heist together she always listens to you when no one else does she’s always there for you

One thing that the batfam will do for any and all is protect one another from racism,villains anything

you also got flirted with a lot by wally,roy, anything that could lay there eyes on you and they all hated it

[hussyknee]

Every time I think white and Western leftists can't disappoint me more, they prove me wrong.

Y'all memefied the threat of war with Iran following the assassination of Soleimani, the Australian wildfires that razed Aboriginal communities to the ground, Black Lives Matter, the fall of Afghanistan, the Russian invasion of Ukraine and Putin, and the mass protests in Sri Lanka. The No Fly List has been leaked for the first time since 2014, showing that the majority of it are in there for the crime of having Muslim and Russian names, taking part in anti-war protests and being a child while Muslim. And now y'all have started merchandising the memes?

Every single time we point out that the suffering of diasporas and the Global South is not yours to joke about, we are inundated with screeching about how y'all need them to '''''cope'''' with having woken up to the fact that other people have been living in a fascist dystopia, that memes spread "awareness", that it's unfair to take the jokes to mean you don't care, and "we can be concerned about two things at once". Meanwhile, the jokes and memes and white coping drown out the voices of BIPoC and Eastern Europeans almost entirely. Then you forget all about us and eventually say that nothing we did made any difference, fighting the state is hopeless, and meme some more.

At this point I can only imagine that you wander into random people's funerals, crack jokes about the dead guy to his family and sell funeral t-shirts in exchange for telling everyone else that they're dead. "Well why can't we celebrate and uplift queer people?" – you mean white and Western queer people, because it's sure as hell not our queer people who're getting profiled and bombed and starved.

"That's not my experience of what we did" – we do not care. Your experience of your own actions, of how events unfolded for you and of our hurt and our suffering is utterly irrelevant. You do not get a say on whether you're hurting us. You don't get to police our tone and wording and anger. You don't get to weigh in with your white guilt and white defensiveness and Western and white privilege and pathological need to be the Main Character in every situation. "Why is this so guilt-tripping" that's your white guilt, Karen. The fact that you only just woke up to all the ways you've been asleep is your white privilege. Your inability to boost our voices and center us without any commentary and not speak for us is white supremacy. Your consistent focus on valorizing activists and advocates and centering white saviours is white supremacy. Your making money and fame off "raising awareness" and "educating" other people about our suffering is capitalist exploitation and white supremacy. You are not living through a "major historical event", we are. Every damn day.

Those of you who don't behave like this will never chime in and tell your racist fellows "hey stop that, that's fucked up! That's racist! Shut up!" You dont look for resources yourself, dont accept that maybe we can't provide solutions every time we raise concerns, that maybe your allyship should be about self-reflection and learning how to handle your own emotions without taking up all the air in a room.

This shit is fucking constant. Every single time. We are suffocating. Even with all of that, do you have any idea of the amount of patience and understanding and forebearance we have tried to give you?

Edit: btw the trans femme of colour who uses it/its pronouns that said "please stop memeing about our very serious issue, go read these sources, pay attention to this bill, if you care then act like it"? Y'all sent it so much racist hate that it had to deactivate. But yeah, y'all care about queer people. Lmao.

[narwhalandchill]

ok misc stream thoughts!!!

ANYWAY livestream over nice 30 pulls of aventurine funds for anni!!!! they didnt do anything insane but honestly it was kinda cope to expect them to, ratio for free was clearly a more of a spontaneous move and hes available throughout anniversary anyway so the "another 5*" were.... a little over the top im sorry wjkjwdjkwdjk altho i wouldnt have complained obviously. a free himeko or sth couldve been on theme for the cosmodussy event but eh cant be helped

im actually glad for the skippability of the reruns 😭😭 like i have luocha n jingliu (+ LC for latter) so by skipping acheron for now im gonna have a nice time getting aventurine and most likely his LC (2/3 of his 4* LC selection is so sad tho), love that fucker hope he gets to do proper mayhem in story too. cool death talk please dont actually die yourself for real for real tho i will be sad. like i do think its based of aventurine to pull off a stunt that appears to be what we in the business might call a certified chapter 5 komaeda moment but. ahahaha nooo dont actually die youre such a funny hat man .

(also sick boss form is sick but . bootleg FL im sorry aventurine. they hit perfection already and theyre never fucking topping the galaxy cape cyclops eye beak mask drip i swear JSWJWJDKWJKDWJK but also yes me biased? in favor of that ginger? i could never)

but it seems ill have a solid time getting aventurine and saving up for now??? since i dont think im too interested in robin or boothill either. i was kinda worried topaz' rerun would be in 2.1 for IPC antics with aventurine bc i am kinda curious abt pulling for her but now its gonna be 2.2 at the earliest so. Phew

the stream ran a bit too long lmao but like overall i tend to like the dev discussions so most of it was still neat, altho downside of dev streams is that not knowing chinese i cant just like. afk and listen on headphones and go get water or something 💀💀 and they were definitely dragging stuff out on purpose no way they werent but eh. people will live its just bideo game livestream. and like these folks do hard work on the game they can yap about what they do sometimes its only right lmao

leakers public shaming session was definitely a jumpscare but i do genuinely empathize w shaoji on that one. like. ive always been one for kit + banner leaks first and foremost and story leaks just. i dont care for them much. ive had my share of looking at them occasionally but i definitely agree with the way story leaks either by themselves or when misconstrued and misinterpreted really fucking mess with the intended experience for any given story and how that must feel like shit for the writers. like if story leaks stopped happening altogether id be perfectly content. and thats just ppl who look at story leaks on purpose cuz. im not going to even begin w how like. yes the leaks subreddits and most big leakers do spoiler warnings and keep the story stuff spoilered. but then theres literally the entire rest of the internet where shit gets spread untagged and without warnings the second they are posted anywhere at all and how that fucking ruins peoples experiences. like its 1 thing to click at a spoiler tagged post knowingly and get ur experience messed up with. but when u dont even want to see it its rly fucking bad and i v well understand condemning all story leaks (even those properly flagged) just on that basis alone. but yeah actually felt bad for him there and see where he was coming from for sure, even as a consumer of leaks

ok well that sure was a wall of text. didnt expect to write that much JWJKWJKDDWJK but ya

Anyway. biggest priority is holding strong w skipping acheron as sick as her animations are but def looking forward to her teaser and the animated short. like . even with the black swan dykery. (that was a fucking jumpscare too). i dont need her rn. despite how cool she is 😭😭

& also have to say im v happy they clarified their stance on hi3rd references like. the way theyre going abt it is absolutely how it should be going. hsr by nature is more directly linked to hi3rd like honkai is in the name but its such a dumbass idea (like some fan takes out there....) to want the stories of hsr depend on another games lore. rewarding old fans with easter eggs and tidbits is perfectly fine and im even interested in seeing where they go with acherons obvious raiden situation - especially knowing theyre not about to ruin their own story with "it was hi3rd all along!" (not that i ever rly thought theyd seriously blunder that bad lmao 💀) . so yea thats neat

i think story wise im not gonna say much of my thoughts bc unfortunately i have clicked on like. a leak or four. not the major stuff i dont think but enough that commenting on stuff w some of the things im aware of in the periphery is going to tint stuff . but im still excited to see where things go!!!

AAND OH. ACTUALLY i do have one more thing . so the multiple POV thing being actually implemented is SOOOO good im so fucking happy theyre committing to it being a thing 😭😭😭 like SO many story pitfalls can be avoided by just letting it be that TB doesnt need to be fucking everywhere a major thing happens as the centerpiece of events so we as players can see it. like it gives a way of showing different events and sides of characters in a much more natural manner its sooo good that theyre implementing it already. like this alone has me in such high hopes for the story going forward. like yea theyve branched from our POV before already and in penacony as well but expanding on it even more is 100% the correct way forward

last thing: god they did jingliu so dirty in her concert illustration. WHAT is she wearing 💀💀💀anyway yeah lesgo 2.1 its cool

i lied real last thing: siobhan . siobhan i would do anything---

[val-victory]

If trainers can only be people who are 100% dedicated to battling and don't focus on other things then there'd be no point in specifying that you're an ace trainer, because all trainers would be as focused/dedicated/obsessed as you and ace trainers would just be normal trainers.

That's not the case, there are trainers who aren't ace trainers, and that doesn't mean they're hobbyists. It's just like how someone who spends half of their time doing carpentry and the other half working an office job is still a carpenter.

Also yeah sure the champion is the strongest trainer, but 99.999% of the world doesn't work like the Pokémon league, and you really have to remember that. By being an ace trainer and spending 100% of your time focused around Pokémon battles you don't really have a ton of experience with the rest of the world, and you should probably take a moment to think about that.

Being the strongest person doesn't mean much in the real (non battling) world, and trying to make it the most important thing in most other situations is usually what bullies do. Just because your Pokémon can kick some kid's Pokémon's ass doesn't mean you should be able to skip them in line at a buffet, or that some person saying "I should go first because my charizard could turn their torchic into nuggets" isn't a bully who has no grasp on reality.

Just because you're the strongest doesn't mean you're always right about things, even if the champion said that the sky is green, grass is black, and clouds are orange, that wouldn't suddenly make it right. The sky would still be blue, grass would still be green (or yellow if it's unhealthy grass) and clouds would still be white (or whatever shade of grey the weather made them)

Yeah. but is that Carpenter an ACE carpenter when they just do that sometimes?

Being a Trainer isn't just a Job for me. it's my Life. thats the differecne.

I wanna be known and remembered for this. i don't have Sidegigs. everything i do is to get better.

dont try to tell me that im not good. Rank 122 baby. that puts me in Grandmaster league.

Maybe you just don't understand that this is important to me. i cannot imagine living my Life in any other way.

and can you please try and be a bit nicer next time. don't say that i do not know how the world works. i am literally 25. i am not a sheltered child with no exposure. i went on my journey. i got my badges. i went to different towns and met many People.

The Champs aren't omniscient gods. i know that. i just respect them and their Dedication.

And stop calling me a bully. i have never bullied anyone in my life. and i was bullied as a kid. ifucking hate this. please stop weith these messagees they are fucking in my head. i am so tired stop talking just stop

(god i need to talk to someone this shit is fucked)

[rin-and-jade]

Hiii! I hope you had a great year or at least you had fun and felt that you're alive, safe and loved :) the holydays are coming and I cant shake the feeling that I must wish you a peaceful one :'D I hate holydays :')

So. I dont know if you can remember me. Im that person who's told you about all my struggles regarding studying and having issues with controlling my attention and how I couldn't manage to pass an exam bc of my dissociation/ time processing i think a year ago i've written you that message... (I managed to pass the second one and it was great actually) but I wanted to ask you something. If you have the knowledge and/ or experience of course. At first I must point out i've been diagnosed with bpd, I dont know if this is a trait of it or if its DID... but. im having trouble with identifying whether this kind of problem is among others with DID or if Im just strictly borderline (maybe its just denial) and so. is it something thats related to bordeline if im not seeing this personalities as being "present" as I am? Like, i cant say they have ever been there at least as always as long as I am most of the time. I feel like they are always just standing behind me looking after me but at the same time letting me doing all the work. Sure. there are times when some dude is taking over to do the physical chores or the dude whos taking over just to have fun and get drunk (she's here right now cuz im tipsy and tried to "have fun") or when im in nature the hippy one comes near just to show me how important it is just being alive and appreciating nature.... but I dont feel like they are some separeted beings from me. As I was saying, they let me do all the work. I happen sometimes to have emotional amnesia and doing things without having control but they arent here! Does it make sense? Sometimes they speak to me and try to make themselves understood but only in those moments when im not aware as though they're sneaky and trying to hide from me... I doesnt seem fair, thats all.. and im really trying to make peace with them and whenever the persecutor comes into action im telling him to go fuck himself and try to be a bully with somebody else not with the persons who suffered. I mean why doesnt he try to come when we actually need him? For example when somebody is mean to us and we need to stop let ourselves be the black sheep or even when we feel verbally atacked? So im trying to get reasonable with him at that part. But there arent any signs that they really exist... they are somewhere deep I cant acces anything. And im thinking. I must have a to much active imagination. I given my sorrows and anxieties names, personalities overall. I feel guilty bc I dont want to seem like a bad person just for trying to find out what is going on in my dissociated mind (i dissociate a lot. So much that i cant understand my current life).... I dont want to seem like i pretend that I am someone or more likely somebodies that I am not.

So to summerize this: is it something common to find yourself that you lack the life activity around you of your personalities? They are only coming when its something urgent like remembering stuff at work or something that puts us in danger for not being neurotypicals, or when we need to remember what we studyied, what our names is, or how old are we (dont even get me started we sometimes guess wrong :'). ) when we have stuff to do and I feel like shit and I cant handle. What do you think? Sorry for the long message Im only trying to figure this out. Maybe you'll have a clue what im talking about because im getting the feeling that im too drunk to write concise (also this is not my first language)

Im gonna sign with two initials so you'll know from now on if we ever have other questions to ask you with L. (shes always trying to help shes the flower power one) and E. (shes just plain bold and very brave at everything she does)

Again im wishing you a wonderful day/night and a peaceful holyday (　・ω・)♡♡♡♤♤♤

Wait.. i KNOW you, it’s the brisk break method i ever told because sometimes focusing for too long depletes people’s energy faster and some other tips! Im so glad you actually passed because I’ve been sat here thinking if theres a change in your studies after seeing your ask being answered.

Would you pour me a glass too here as i say some stuffs,, also im having a great holiday, merry xmas.

I would admit that when we talk about alternate personalities between BPD and DID, its bit hard to actually discern which is which because it’s broad and everyone has it uniquely (aka will never be the same, thus cannot rule out easily) so.. hm. I have a way to explain and guide to your conclusion:

These two mental conditions fall into the same dissociative spectrum with different severity, thus why it may have similarities and could even overlap which will be harder to tell which belongs to what. That being said, the similarities with these two would be: some level of identity separation/disconnection, has normal and emotinal amnesia, automatic responses by dissociating to keep oneself from danger, and some inconsistencies with yourself.

The difference settles on the severity, how its triggered, and what related symptoms are commonly associated with the disorder.

As a bpd holder i can clearly tell apart which is from the disorder or not; you will have some sense of alternation, with this it won’t be as bad and you are aware that it’s part of you (which not always the case for did) + it doesn’t necessarily involve a shift in age, worldview or how you see yourself physically and more limited to states, percievings, and feelings. The critics are also in first-person for e.g. “this is so fricking stupid of me to say __ before, why did i do that???” That won’t apply to did.

Thats for one, though i want to keep it short so in general i want to say that bpd is from “idk which version of me is the actual me and i have a hard time finding and sticking to an authentic one” while did is “idk who i am and i thought i like this which turns out untrue after a few hours and i barely have got a sense of myself which makes me get stumped whenever i got asked something” kind of thing.

Things that are more bpd related: have struggles maintaining relations, mood swingy, fear of abandonment, emotional impermanence, anxious, very susceptible to amygdala hijacking

Things that are more did related: shifted sense of time, significant memory gaps, problems with memory consolidation and recall, frequent dissociation, feeling out of body, feeling not like yourself, inconsistent preferences

I cannot vouch if this is a yes or no about the question, coming from a system myself. So i hope you can do a bit more digging and use my insight to further help you, also feel free to contact me via DMs if it’s stull confusing. For now, i advice you to read more resources and take my words into account,

See you later!

- j

[pussyistheforbiddenfruit]

People don’t realise how much of bisexual bigotry has been normalised. Especially lesbians. Manfucking is a big topic in lesbian spaces because lesbians & their kind heartedness led to them allowing bisexuals to colonise their sexuality & spaces. Nongoldstars are the majority because bisexual women are the majority. Goldstars are rare because female homosexuals are rare. Heterosexuals dont need to sleep with the same sex to figure out that they’re straight. They have no DESIRE to. Their sexuality is simple, black and white. It is the same thing for homosexuals. It is only bisexuals that experiment. But because they’re so fucking obnoxiously loud, people genuinely think experimenting is the norm for ALL sexualities, lol nope. Not at all. Sorry, you seem sweet but nongoldstars are bisexual women & there will be no discussion because they absolutely resent lesbians & hate lesbians simply existing.

Hi! Thank for you the anon ask i love getting them!

i mostly agree with u on the non-goldstars being bisexual cause it made me think? Sex is a process you have to first build sexual tension, kiss, undress, then fuck, my teenage self couldnt even think of doing the first two how the hell did these "lesbians" manage to do all four steps?

I live in a homophobic country, my family dossnt take my sexual orientation seriously and i have been encouraged by many ppl to "try out dudes first to make sure im gay" but i have felt "convinced or pressured" to do it, just annoyed and disgusted, how the fuck did these privilaged western "lesbians" even do it, ew

But knowing how some women can be extremely weak minded and absolute doormats i would understand that she might overlook her disgust and endure it (i guess) the majority of non-goldstars are bisexuals, your right like 99% of them lol. I could understand one male in highschool (i guess) but alot of them be having sex with multiple males, getting married and pregnant too?? Like girl just stop it your not a lesbian how the fuck did u let a male get you pregnant?? 😂🤚

Its also annoying as hell how Manfucking and Dick has been the centered in the online "Lesbian" Community whether it may be fake or real., its sucks how the only sexuality that doesnt center men and have women in it ppl are ruining it, this dick obsessed world is so annoying i swear.

And of course they would hate us silly!! How dear we not suck and swallow dick like real grown women do!! 💅🏽 How dear we not waste our lives for males who would only give us dirty homes 😌, shit stained boxers for us to wash 😍,bad sex 🥵, and snotty nosed kids to take care of 🙏🏽 as well as stress and most likely abuse, what kind of women wouldnt want that? Cooking and cleaning for manchildren, underdeveloped, incomplete XXs and ape-like creatures?? 😒😒 dumb bitches am i right??

Absolute foolishness i swear thank the goddess herself im blessed to be a lesbian, a goldstar one too lol, they be so delusional about males i swear.

Also the most likely reason why experimenting is the norm cause a lot of ppl are serectly bi only 19% of bi are out to their friends and family so they are ALOT more of them that we don't know of.

Cause it's not just sneakdicking "lesbians", they are down low "straight" dudes, bicurious "straight" girls, and "gay" men serectly sleeping with women too, just a bunch of confused bisexuals who wanna stick to the societal rules and roleplay their favorite orientation and lifestyle.

[this-should-do]

Sorry I really wanted to ask this-

Shephard Swap AU? (Mitchell is put in infinite stasis, Adrian ends up Abluquerque for the HDTF story, their experiences in Black Mesa are kept completely the same)

I wanted to ask, what *you* think would happen/change because of this, seeing as this type of AU really fully hinges on your own interpretation of Adrian Shephard.

Ya know if you want something to ponder about..

Bro i fucking Love pondering shit so absolutely do not apologize for askin this, cuz its a real thinker and i spent like 3 or so hours straight writing it lmao it could be better but this is a first draft and im not editting it cuz im lazy

So obviously, this is already a challenge because the plot of hdtf is just,,,, one of the plots of all time. its contrived and relies on A Lot of asumptions and a mischarcterization/understanding of gman and how and why he does what he does. granted we dont know much about gman but the gman in hdtf is just strange? i guess, hes definately far more hands on than valve writes him, but also im realizing that gman is far mroe hands on in adrians story, actively helping him (something he doesnt do for gordon and barney is just not even on his radar), so i guess it sorta makes sense that adiran and mitch have theri stories intertwine like they do, might even be a part of the reason that berken tied them together like that since gman play such a pivotla role in mitchs story (i doubt it honestly but we can give him this for funsies)

so assuming were all familiar with the plots of both hdtf and opfor wers gonna start with why ours boys are getting switched

so in hdtf, gman has mitch on standby getting power to that he can be a distraction in the future at some point so gordon has an easier time to do things?? (even tho the point in time hes a distraction is when the combine literally cant get to gordon becuz hes in a week long teleport but whatever) all becuz he said sum funnywords? but also the perpetual prescence of gman in the flashbacks implies that mitch has been a fascination of gmans for quite some time,,,, weird

so what were gonna do is apply that fascination to adiran in the first place as well, and adiran who already did a buncha cool shit (which mitch did not do which makes him lame to gman) is gonna be gmans backup for if gordon needs help in the future (i say if becuz im interpreting gmans time onicience as a 'he can only guess which path this universe is gonna go down', cuz his dialogue about him having to convince his employers that alyx is gonan be worth it, and with hla the him we see is a him from the future ona particular path changing things up on purpose)

but plot twist gman didnt really want him doing all that shit becuz it fucks with his plans so he brings adam back (int he hev suit not for deception purposes but to make sure that he stays alive long enough to adrian who has had no prob killing entire groups of blackops and adam got his ass handed to him already by mitch) to kill adrian with the promise of killing Corporal Shephard (intended to be adrian), but adam ends up killing the shephard he wanted to (mitch) and gmans like fuck damn okay not what i wanted but i guess you did what i asked you to, but anyways next assignment you gotta help the important shephard stay alive, (gman makes mitch deadnt as insurance to make sure adrian stays in line later down the line or whatever, honestly he doesnt need mitch alive but this is what ive got in terms of putting mitch in stasis)

so at this point adrian gets a deal with gman to be allowed to make it out of black mesa becuz hes so poggers its be sad to see a life wasted, hes just gonna owe gman a favor later

so act1 plays out much the same wiht adrian at the helm, he wakes up in the hospital, meets up with nick and is sent on his way to find colonel cue, meets up with adam who has been sent there to make sure adrian doesnt start blabbing to people about what they saw in bm (but also secretly to ensure that adrian hates freeman cuz he would def know what happened to mitch when adrian mentions/ asks after him, and adams gonan for sure lie to cover his ass and be able to do his "job", this causes adrian to say sumthign along the lines of "goddam, sunovabitch i shoulda killed that orange cremesicle lookin ass when i had the chance" thus keeping eveything setting up for the whole name of the game) cuz that was one of gmans concerns about letting adrian go in the first place, which still confuses me cuz lots of people knew stuff in black mesa and got out just fine but also whatever. and from here it really doesnt change at all, adrian eventually ends up captain of the avalon vale, and off they sail

so now act2, also goes p similarly, adrians been on a warpath fucking up combine cuz damn, another overwhelming set of aliens to kill, better get to it, so now hes off teh go fuck up the "weapons" factory up in alaska, turns out its a bunch of slave children making the worlds first cremators all being headed by headdipshit boris. now adrian does not like this, he instead of talking to boris just straight up shoots him, like "fucka you, u suck", takes the kids (including sasha) and proceeds to destroy the entire facility back in line with mitchs descion making.

now act3,,,, is a doozy,,, cuz adrian is a far different man than his brother (frankly they wouldnt even call himself a man, he is nobiney lmao) so when gman shows up and tries to prey on his dislike of freeman for killing mitch to get him to kill freeman, adrian is older and obviously less intent on killing some guy that is not combine, even if he doesnt like the bitch, so gman pulls out the old "well fun fact, i can bring u rbrother back if u kill freeman" (this is valid cuz its int eh same vein as hla ending) so adrian is like ",,,,fine" so he sets off, however he doesnt team up with the combine on this one, cuz he really, really doesnt like the combine and also doesnt have a weird edgelord "well wed do the same thing as them if we could" thing going on that i guess would lend him to being willing to team up with them like mitch does

so now adrians off to kill freeman, but this time teams up with the resistance to get a chance at getting close to gordon, by earnign thier trust, cuz chances are if theyve been killing combine for 20 years, theyre gonna hve come in contact witht hem at some point, this also functions as bolstering the reisitances numbers, helping meet the distract the combine from gordon quota that adrians is meant to serve, to do this he eventually gets sent to bmeast to meet up with eli to discuss numbers and shit or whatever, which places him near gordon but is just a near miss as they arrive right around the time of the combines raid, so adirans gets a chance in the confusion to go after gordon without looking sus and immediatley being blamed for killing gordon.

this sets off a similar chain of events to og hdtf, goes thru ravenholm, galavants across the countryside, gets to those rebel outposts or whatever and gets info under the guise of helping gordon so they tell him where to go, eventually makes his way to nova prospekt, is too late to get to gordon but is there fast enough to kill neoguh combine to ensure gordon adn alyx can get into the teleporter (ie making gordons way easier), so now hes gotta fight his way out, still ends up washing out into the ocean, but instead of being captured by rebels hes saved by them, he wakes up in that prison theyre holed up in, and goes to send a message to adam and nick cuz he misses his besties (adrian does not end up making it a polycule, but adam and nick still date) and wants to meet up with them again to regroup cuz adrian is fucked up to the most after all of that. (i am not having gman show up to plot explain shit to adrian cuz i think thats stupid)

now at this point adam is looking at adrian and is like, damn this is all my fault that hes gone on this suicide mission to kill a guy who didnt even do the crime, and this time round adam is going to be the bigger man and say "hey man, i was the one who killed ur brother, u dont gotta be fighting two wars at once" this causes adrian to just fucking loose it honestly, damn near kills adam but thankfully nick is there to buffer, and once seperated adrian just sobs, and this time adam and adrian get to talk shit out, adam also kinda says that he saw gman take mitchs body so he might still have him somewhere, so now were like wait shid is mitch still somewhere, this eventually si confirmed by the vortigaunts who can see that oh yeah these bitches have been fucked with by gman also ur brothers alive and gmans got him in his clutches

so since adrian technically did his job gmans not gonna come after him all that much, specially since adrians gonna continue to fight with the resistance to help freeman so hes doing overtime at this point

so eventually he still goes to borealis, but this time in a timely manner since he finds out about it thru the resistance, using the avalon vale, but also with an ulterior motive to a) kill that sunuvabitch gman and b) get mitch back adn thats the end of the game !

honestly, it would make more sense to not have gman force adrian to kill freeman but i decided to keep it that way so that its still hdtf, but honestly, it seems more likely with adrian there that gman would tell adrian to go help out the resistance, but we can write that option off as gman being a messy bitch lmao

[papirouge]

what you said really resonated with me, about not having a father but having a healthy look on men. i do have a dad, but ive never lived with him and only see him once a month or so, while i live only with women (mom, sisters and grandma). ive never really cared about male attention or whatever, and tend to prioritize women and myself, and i think its because of the heavy female influence in my life.

ive never hated or idolized men, and see them for what they are, im realistic and can judge each individualy, yet still knowing that there are certain attitudes and ways of beings in men more common than in women.

i dont understand people who say that women who grew up without a dad are either man haters or man pleasing, because in my experience it tends to be women who grew with fathers (usually bad ones)that have quite the issues with men. weirdly, i think that women that have complicated relationships with their moms are the ones that either dislike or put men on a pedestal, usually due to having moms suffering from pickmeism. Many of these women just learnt from their mothers to tolerate too much from their men, or saw their mothers suffering and decided to never let themselves become what their mothers are, so they scorn men. but this is just what ive observed.

Yeah, I mean, growing up with a shitty father seems more damaging than growing up without one, so I don't get this culture of shaming single mothers. Hardly any mom choses to educate their child alone - if she did, the father was a bum. But interestingly, there's Hardly a culture of shaming baby daddies like there ks one shaming baby mama.....🤔

My dad was abusive, and my parents separated when I was still a baby so don't remember anything, but my eldest sister do and I can see how different we are when it comes to trauma regarding his abuse (mine is non-existent at this point).

I also agree with you that mothers are the "cornerstone" of their daughters emotional imbalance. As women we project onto each other, so a shitty mom might have a bigger emotional impact onto their female children (and that's the opposite for male). My mom has her fair share of abusiveness too (still not as bad as my dad) and I came to term with forgiving her bc she definitely had to deal with lots lf trauma herself + having to educate several children alone...

But yeah, growing with such a mom really made grasp early on the importance of levelling up and working your ass off. I know what being poor is, and poverty is the best leverage for motivation. My mom was smart: she refused to live off welfare all her life and instead educted herself to get a new job, get promotions, etc Even though she didn't explicitly tell us that way, by the way she educated us, l quickly understand that as a Black woman, I'll have to work twice harder than a White woman, and 4 times harder than a White man. I never felt like competing "against Whites" though, I just understood what were the "rules" of the game we were stepping a foot in as poor immigrants from Africa.

I'll never buy into determinism. Sure, social inequalities are a thing and it's harder when you're a Black women than rich White man, but ultimately you can make it out as long as you don't spend your time comparing yourself and complaining about your own social condition.

I might not have grown with my dad but I think I am much more balanced that those people who grew up with both of their parents thinking women not wanting to have a child is a sin, or wanting a husband looking like their dad... The most asinine shit I've seen on this website didn't come from people with a broken family lmao

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

I actually really like the take abt Rowaelin's interaction in HoF and how it relates to Tamlin's behavior in the HL meeting. I read Heir of Fire and kind of just blanked on the interaction between Aelin and Rowan lol. I know he punched her and that’s it, so I don’t really know anything else on that.

I think the reason people are so quick to condemn people like Tamlin and Rowan for their behavior in these scenes is because their reactions are much more common than the things they’re reacting to. There are a lot of people who’ve been through harmful, abusive relationships where they were faced with physically abusive s/os, and so they find it harder to understand the interaction between the two of them, especially since Rowan and Aelin later end up endgame. Same thing with Tamlin. A lot of people can empathize with how Feyre is debased and humiliated in the High Lord Meeting by Tamlin, but not many people can relate to how Tamlin’s essentially lost his entire Court and all his hard work over the course of the war’s progression.

Not everything’s black and white! What Tamlin said during the HL meeting was unprofessional and not a good thing to say, but he did just lose everything to Feyre’s incompetent actions.

It’s just that people are able to relate to the things that happened to Aelin and Feyre more, so they’re more willing to condemn them. For example, in the Harry Potter fandom, you’ve got people who will ship the MC with a genocidal maniac who they’ve glorified to hell, but you won’t see a single person on Earth saying a single positive thing about Umbridge. And wanna know why? Because not many people can say they’ve been through what victims of Voldemort have been through. But a shit ton of people can say they’ve faced injustice in the face of an authority figure.

Oh absolutely - you're correct about this one for sure. It also doesn't help that in a lot of ways, Aelin and Feyre are meant to be self-inserts. (Aelin has this to a lesser degree and apart from her physical appearance, she's allowed to be her own character with her own motivations; Feyre, however, is just straight up an SJM self-insert married to a character whose meant to resemble SJM's real life husband, who got pregnant in part because of that fact that SJM decided to start having her own kids irl.) They're meant to be somewhat relatable because they're female YA/NA protagonists and therefore they're "role models" for teens and young women. You're meant to project upon them - again, this is especially true for Feyre, the only SJM heroine whose narrative is given in the ultra-initimate first person.

I recently tried to have a discussion on Reddit (my first mistake, I know) with someone who got extremely testy when I pointed out that Rhysand and Tamlin BOTH abused Feyre, and Feyre just decided that Rhysand's abuse was justified while Tamlin's was not. This person immediately came at me with, "Well some of us have actually BEEN thru abuse!! I was also abused just like Feyre!" This person revealed that details of their abuse in their comments. And when I explained that one, I'm absolutely not going to tell an internet stranger my personal experiences with abusive behaviors just for clout on faerie novels, and two, abuse is still abuse no matter why it happens - they just kind of got pissed that I was calling them an "abuse apologist" - which I wasn't.

(Abuse is, in fact, a behavior - which is something i dont see discussed very much. People don't magically become "abusers" because theyre bad evil masterminds; every person alive is capable of abusing. Whether it's a pattern or a one time event, it's still abuse! This is why, in interpersonal relations, it's important to have boundaries and to communicate - and to decide what matters more for you personally: the intent of an action, or the impact or it. This is what nuanced discussion of abuse looks like.)

Writing nuance is tricky and it kinda baffles me that ToG succeeds at it when ACOTAR doesn't seem to want to touch on it. Rowan is allowed to be an asshole and face consequences - so is Aelin. Things work out for her because she's got bad Main Character Syndrome and half her Genius plans are executed off screen, not because everyone automatically falls on their ass to like her and worship her.

The thing with ACOTAR is that it literally tricks you into thinking nuance exists in the story when it's text is presenting the most black and white morality tale imimaginable. (And I'd originally say that it's due to the first person narration but given some of the ass-backwards narrative justifications written into Silver Flames, I genuinely think this is just an issue with SJM-world.) Tamlin can't be justified in his motivations and can't be a victim of abuse or violence because he is Bad. Rhysand had a good reason for hurting Feyre, so she forgives him and considers him a selfless martyr - he is Good and we the readers are also meant to forgive him. Bad people deserve violence and good people commit violence for good reasons, so it's not Real violence and doesn't actually do any harm to anyone who matters.

The thing for me is - then I absolutely can't forgive a man who drugs a girl in order to make her into a toy for his own amusement. The fact that this was written into the love story of the MAIN HEROINE completely breaks my immersion and my ability to relate to her in any way. I cannot imagine falling for someone who is so openly manipulative and cruel no matter what inane supernatural force had linked my soul to this person.

I can, however, absolutely relate to feeling used and experiencing extreme self-loathing and lack of esteem, and wanting to insult people as cruelly as possible while in the depths of despair so that it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of isolation whilst i get to experience a fleeting moment of righteous vindication - which is why characters like Nesta and Tamlin are far more palatable to me than Feyre.

[audible--silence]

Words

Its easy to understand how people lose their minds out here

the illusion of permanece is a seductive mistress

On humidity: it feels like the world is giving you s hug

Am i reading right the look in your eye?

A cautioning glimmer of uncertainty shadows your soul as i tell you a dream. How much to extract and how much to surrender.

Raised not to feel comfortable and furthermore, raised to try to make the other better rather than accept them for who they are

- On brothers

And while sitting here in a taco shop with a tarp for a roof and a menu in two languages, I realize how much i long for the way life was. Out of a backpack and with no fixed address.

Nobody expecting you and an army of people willing to help you.

The reality is, spotify probably knows me better than anything with a pulse. Which is damn sad considering all I crave is to be known by someone who cares. And as good as Spotify is at suggesting my favorite songs, it doesn’t quite cut it.

Clearly I crave connection. I want it enough to download an app I previously and still do despise. Yet I am too scared of commitment to do any damn thing to build it.

Im damn near sure that most of y’all are technically better photographers than me. The only thing ive got that gets me anywhere is instinct, nerve and a slight lack of fear of consequences.

All ive got is the ability to stare the bad idea in the face and run to it with a smile

Say yes to everything

Be ok with living uncomfortably and doing risky, stupid shit because in my experience, 90% of getting good photos happens before you even pull the camera out.

Have a chat. If you can, have a drink

For every travel buddy thats ever uttered an “oh fuck it” or yelled a “oh fuck yeah” with me.

“ur gonna be so good. bullshit is ur native language it’s better than your English

It takes so much to be cool here that once you fit in here you stand out everywhere else

It takes two to tango and we each have two left feet and a lot of bad timing

Its good to pause once in a while for an occasional reminder of whatever comes to mind

Exist at your own risk

Edgar Allen Poe taste

“Awh mannnnn i need a flower foh me muddah”

- Kid in a park

The napkin with my phone number scribbled down is burning a hole in my pocket.

Because its no supposed to be there. It should be in the bag of the beautiful girl in all black dressed to kill. Or in the trash. Or on the seat next to her on the subway. The one place it shouldn’t be, is in my pocket. Because that puts me up against an uncomfortable truth. A flaw of my own character that I always thought id have conquered by now. Im nervous as hell when it comes to talking to people I’m attracted to.

I simply dont know how to do it.

I can talk to anybody except those who I find cute

Im

[mokutone]

Unpopular opinion :) about naruto in general or just yamato whatever you want

hmmm thank you for the question....i guess here's one: in "modern"/non ninja AUs, I think Yamato should still be a fairly odd guy who is not really fully socialized to the intricacies of daily life.

ough. edit update 2: tumblr deleted my first update acknowledging that it fucked up my post. dont know why this keeps happening. but it does. anyway

the thing is that around 2020 i started getting into naruto and while trying to avoid certain spoilers i decided to read some non ninja au fics, just because theyre fun and creative and i like seeing how people translate canon material into au material, and i was like. suuuuper blindsided by how often yamato was portrayed (even in some yamato centric fics) as like. the everyman.

and to be fair!! i can definitely understand how they came to this conclusion, because Yamato DOES have a little bit of a manzai routine with naruto, where naruto is the boke and yamato is the tsukkomi! yamato loves to play the straight man!

but the straight man isn't quite the everyman, there's some nuance in there. the "everyman" is somebody who is meant to be "relatable to anyone," typically their experiences in life have been """average""" in such a way that, when exposed to bizarre circumstances, they will react with an entertaining or empathy-drawing abundance of surprise and often distress.

i feel like a lot of yamato's backstory, specifically being a test tube baby created by konoha's favorite evil mad scientist and then raised and trained by a man known for having children fight to the death in an effort to remove them of their feelings, and then spending the next 10 years of his life exclusively working relatively anonymously in Konoha's black ops, however, kinda disqualifies Yamato from being an everyman? I feel like that's a pretty ah. unique. experience of life. even speaking simply in the terms of batshit ninja origin stories from naruto!

like sure! in an au, you could remove any trace of that from his character. but you could also, in an au, say that Kakashi just got that scar in a shaving accident when he was 22. i don't know why you'd say that, but like, you could if you thought that losing his eye and all that obito shit didn't matter to his character much. i mean...the world is an oyster.

the straight man in a comedic bit DOES often serve the purpose of the "voice of reason" but, unlike the everyman...there's no prescribed backstory! it's just a comedic role. The only expectation is that they generally maintain composure in the face of Antics, and that they try to correct or give deadpan commentary to the funnyman.

this is part of why i am constantly making jokes about Yamato Deliberately practicing being "normal," honestly. i think it would be a very funny and a really funny crossroads of some of his character traits if...instead of being the straight man by virtue of never having encountered any strangeness in his life, yamato (who we know to be somebody who values preparedness immensely) just...studied for it. is there anything more hilarious than the idea of somebody who studied being normal with the goal of being able to pass as Just Some Average Joe.

Imagine say, a Yamato who was brought up by danzō in some kind of homeschooler's hell blood sports situation, who is now an adult and finds doing his taxes and going grocery shopping and all sorts of very normal and unfun tasks genuinely kind of exciting because of how rewarding he finds it to practice these Normal Skills he has put an insane amount of effort into teaching himself. I find this idea to be just. utterly enrapturing. but that's a very extreme example of the dichotomy.

anyway. in fics which aren't about that kind of thing, it can be a narrow line to tread, and really all it comes down to is just. putting thought into giving yamato a backstory which draws at least somewhat on a few of his canon backstory details and characterizing his actions with his own logic (which one must then put effort into building), rather than a kind of default "common-sense" logic.

[isolated-bug]

Arcane: The Unfair Blame Game

So this one is going to be a bit of an emotionally fueled rant. Sorry guys... But like.. i see a lot of people getting mad that Jinx/Silco fans blame Vi and stuff but like... Yknow someone i havent seen catch any fire? Jayce. Fucking Jayce. I’m sorry for any offense if you like him as a character but i absolutely dont. Jayce reminds me of every blue eyed blond athlete, jock, popular kid, etc in school that got a free pass on their misdoings. Every character in Arcane bears some of the burden of what happens. Every character makes a mistake and messes up and does the wrong thing at some point. But MOST people boil this blame down to three: Jinx, Silco, and Mel. You know why? Because those three characters are the only ones we see on screen OWN their decisions. Everyone else its like “oopsie, didnt see that happening.” and they are forgiven for having good intentions. But Mel had good intentions. She wanted to prove to her war mongering family that she can do well on her own without conquest of nations and that she didnt need violence to succeed. Silco had good intentions. He would do whatever it took to gain national independence for his home that is constantly subjected to the cruelty of law enforcement and neglected by the government. Jinx, when Powder, had good intentions. She wanted to help her family. And after that she had self preservation at the heart of her actions fueled by a LOT of trauma. You know why i hate Jayce? because he is the golden boy who gets out of everything for FREE. He was around 23/24 in act 1. Knowing he was doing black market dealings and importing arcane artifacts taht were illegal and dangerous into Piltover and experimenting on them in secret in an academy building where he was putting hundreds of lives at risk due to the volatile nature of the arcane stones. What does he get for it? “you cant go to school anymore”. thats it... and in that SAME night, he becomes one of the cities leading inventors and all is forgiven because he made magic work. Then things go badly again, and he gets promoted to the council. Like, he never gets punished for anything he has caused. Ever. and im NOT saying that is entirely his fault. That is not my point at all. And i even think him getting a free pass is intentional. To showcase the contrast in how Piltover citizens are treated more kindly and with more understanding than Zaunites. But it seriously pisses me off so so fucking much. Literally if Jayce would have just abided by the fucking LAW nothing in Arcane would have happened. Silco wouldnt have made a deal with Marcus because there would be no treasure trove of info to leverage. Enforcers wouldnt be subjecting the Zaunites to violent interrogation because there would be no one to search for. Since Vander wouldnt be vulnerable, he wouldnt have been captured and the kids wouldnt have needed to save him so no one would have died and Jinx would not have fallen under Silco’s care. Sure, shimmer would still have eventually become a problem and Silco would have found a time to target Vander. I dont deny that at all. but my point is im so sick and tired of everyone blaming Mel/Silco/Jinx for all the problems as if the “good” characters werent equally responsible with their own choices as well. I mean, fuck, even Heimerdinger is responsible. That yordle has been in a council seat for hundreds of years and just sat by and watched as the Zaunites suffered in poverty and poisonous gases needing medical aid and relief and government assistance and he did nothing about it. Are Mel/Silco/Jinx to blame for shit too? yes. 100000% yes That is undeniable. but at least they have the balls to fucking own their shit and see it through.

[aka-indulgence]

How does robo-skider sans deal with 'problems'? Like with humans he doesn't like with his dear 55?

(Warning: HORROR, like, the genre, not.. ht sans.. dsjkhd, but anyway there IS  murder (no gore, but still), so if you dont want that, don’t read!)

Blue eyes gaze through the windows, the home star glimmering in the distance through the blackness of space. A human was walking on the outside of the ship, a sort of advanced "tool-belt" around their middle.

Though they were wearing a suit, Sans knew this wasn't his human. He would've gone with you if he knew you were going out, and he'd know it was you in the suit from having following you around so much.

Though this time, he'd make sure you weren't around. He was sure you were at the living quarters, or maybe at the cafeteria getting breakfast. The rest of the crew should be occupied by now, having experiments to run and other various work. The man walking above is one of them, Sans isn't sure for what he was space-walking at this time, but he doesn't really care.

Crew-Member 4.

Far from the only human he despises, but definitely one that has been getting Sans' attention lately.

"It's not like you actually got fucking hurt, did you? It wasn't even that big." He spat.

Your face was red, and Sans saw your eyes water. "What the hell?! I thought everyone here knows the danger of space debris. Do you remember what happened to Sans?"

"Stop saying that, why did you even give it a name? You treating it like a pet or something?"

"You're not listening to me! Sans lost his leg-"

"You have a suit."

"Sans is made of metal! If it can tear through metal-"

"Ugh, you're so..." No. 4 trailed off, openly expressing his irritation with you. "Your job's simple. All you had to do was fix the exposed panel. Now it's still exposed. Everyone here has something important to do and no one's complaining."

"But-"

"Fine, why don't I do it? Since you're too 'in shock' to do it. I think I need to measure the radiation-disparity soon anyway..."

Sans had stepped in when you tried to argue back and No. 4 looked like he was going to yell. 'Stress-levels', he'd say. No. 4 left the room and Sans got to be alone with you, to comfort you in any way his programming limitations let him.

He’d been watching No. 4 intently since then, though not as obvious as he’d been when he was watching you. He’s aware of the man’s judgement, and Sans was clever enough not to make him think that Sans was following him. Sans was just... observing. His behavioral patterns. Nothing suspicious.

Today, Sans suspects he’s outside to try to “prove” that he can easily do your job while doing his own tasks. The arrogance he reeked... even Sans could smell it.

Sans keeps watching those legs bounding on the outside of the ship until he got to where that unfinished repair was located, and Sans skitters to the airlock.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

The doors close behind him, and Sans can no longer hear anything- not just the fact that the air has been sucked out and he’s in a vacuum now, but his system turns off his “ears” automatically when he went out the ship. The only communication done outside is through radio. The door to space opens silently, and to a human exiting for the first time it would’ve been eerie.

But Sans isn’t a human, nor is this his first time.

No one could hear the clink of his legs over the ship’s exterior. No one was around to hear it anyway, even if they were right under these panels, all of them were on the other side of the ship.

Right now it’s just him and No. 4.

He was crouched down over the panel you had been fixing about... 7 day cycles ago. The one Sans had so stupidly looked away at that moment, having to fix something else, when he heard you screaming...

... no. 4 doesn’t know how terrifying it must be to lose your tether with no means of reconnecting.

If Sans could scowl, he would now.

Sans stalks closer, rage bubbling underneath his metal outer layer. He knows what he wants to do, what he wants to happen to No. 4, he just... doesn’t know how he’ll do it.

The idiot doesn’t even turn to look at him, Sans feels very lucky in that moment that sound doesn’t travel in space. Sans isn’t too far now, probably on the edge what would be the “circle” his safety protocols would allow him near a human.

... Of course this wasn’t a problem to him anymore, the last time you shut it off to fix him he had “neglected” to remind you to turn it back on.

No, he’s not stopping because of his programming. He stands there, only a bit away from No. 4. Like a predator waiting in ambush, except Sans wasn’t even hiding- there was nowhere to hide. The only reason his prey- No. 4 didn’t notice was his rapt attention on the broken panel in front of him. Broken into pieces that Sans couldn’t pick and clear properly with his size and tools that weren’t made to handle things delicately. It seemed that No, 4 wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He was just staring at it. He didn’t have a replacement. He didn’t even use your E-pad to at least get some sense into what he’s supposed to do.

Sans is partly glad he isn’t using it. The E-pad was yours, and you were somewhat fond of it, it seemed. He wouldn’t want you to lose something you liked.

As Sans stands there, processing a mile a minute on how he should go about this, he suddenly remembers to look up, turning his skull around to inspect the dark ‘sky’.

An alert system in him for when he was outside- compelling him to check for space debris at regular intervals.

And for once, Sans is actually glad to see a couple coming towards the ship where he’s standing. Perhaps from the same cluster that made you lose your footing on the ship.

Sans purposefully took his eyes off of No. 4, off his radar, then swiftly moved outside the range he predicted the space debris would hit. He watched as what seemed to be small chunks of meteorite ‘fall’ towards the ship, feeling them clunk over the metallic plating.

He connects to No. 4′s radio.

“Shit!”

Down came the rain

Sans looks up and sees that No. 4 has lost his footing and is slowly spinning vertically, flailing his arms and legs helplessly as he tries to gain some kind of support, and getting nothing.

Sans would love to spend a little more time watching him panic, but he had to do this quick.

And washed the spider out.

He shot forward, close to the tether, watching the swaying rope with intense eyelights. One hand closes around the rope to stabilize it in front of him, the other one, ready to extend his ‘cutting-claw’ to-

ACTION DENIED!

Object: Tether Rope.

TETHER ROPE IS CURRENTLY IN USE BY CREW-MEMBER 4 OUTSIDE THE SHIP. IF ACTION CONTINUES, CREW-MEMBER 4 WILL BE DISCONNECTED!

His hand stops mid-space, his programming straining against him to keep his hand from touching the rope. He tries to change tactics, extending the cutting claw on his other hand, but his other safety protocols had been activated. He was frozen.

‘Must not harm humans.’

‘Must prioritize human well-being.’

His fingers were trembling as he pushed.

only one human matters.

he is not that human.

he isn’t needed.

dispose him.

He feels as if molten metal had been casted into his joints as he tries to push his hand closer to the tether, with the ‘claw’ extended.

DENIED!

Above him, still connected to the radio, he can hear No. 4 breathing in panic, muttering curses under his breath- before Sans hears a gasp, and he looks up.

No. 4 is looking at him now, Sans can see through the visor, his eyes staring at Sans.

“What the fuck- why’d it have to be him that came for me,” he sounds disdained, filled with disgust.

the feeling’s mutual.

Sans strains harder, his legs locking up as he tries to push his claw closer to the rope- No. 4 obviously not noticing if he thinks Sans is here to help him.

His hand budges closer, then tugged further.

“The hell... are you having a fucking crash or something? Just pull the rope! You have one hand on it!”

Sans knew he should be thankful of his expressionless face, but right now he wishes No. 4 could see that he was seething with anger and hate.

he’s never liked me. nor i, him.

he was always the most vocal in hating me.

he treats me like a scrap of metal.

he probably wants to dismantle me.

No. 4 was still yelling at him, but Sans wasn’t listening. The indignation at the way he’d treated Sans over the course of his time on the ship helped budge his hand a little, but then Sans thought of something else...

Someone else No. 4 had never cared too much for.

he always tried to pressure you into doing something.

he thought you were lower than him.

he thought you weren’t important.

he was dismissive of you.

he liked to mock you.

he yelled at you.

The rage was fueling him in the battle against his programming, trying to override the wall blocking his way to freedom.

No. 4 was yelling at him.

Sans felt like poison was building inside him, from how much he wanted this man dead. But then his thoughts kept drifting away from the instances No. 4 had been rude or insulting to him.

Instead, his ‘memories’ drifted back to when he was in the room when it was only you and No. 4. How hurt and angry you looked, how you just wanted him to understand, and No. 4 had talked over you. Thought your troubles were trivial, that everyone else had ‘more important things to deal with’ and you had ‘an easy job’. When he left Sans saw you cry behind your hands, before quickly rubbing them away and you tried to put a smile on your face when you saw Sans.

No. 4 was yelling at him like he yelled at you.

“Hey you stupid robot!?” No. 4′s loud voice came back to his attention, sounding rather irritated and out of breath from how much he spent shouting. He hadn’t moved from his position on the tether, apparently too lazy to pull himself in and is just waiting for Sans to do what he’s supposed to do.

“Hello, can you hear me?” He asks in the most condescending tone. “I know you can, I’m pressing the radio button. Cut this shit out and pull me back already!”

Sans turned his skull up, away from the tether and right into his eyes.

Ṛ̶̊̐ȯ̵̟b̶̜͒͜ȩ̶̌ȓ̶͇̭t̶̩̉ visibly pales at the glare he sends him.

“... no.”

His claw cuts through the tether, with a little twang up the rope when he forces through the stubborn end.

“Wh... what?” Robert’s horrified, quiet voice was so deeply satisfying to Sans’ non-existent ears.

He feels something bubbling up inside him as he watches Robert frantically try to pull on the rope in vain, though this time the emotion inside him wasn’t anger.

“No... no no no NO!”

It was glee.

“heh.... heheheheh... heheheheheheh!”

Robert was whimpering now, breathing frantically as he drifted further, away from the ship, looking at Sans with horrified eyes.

There were no chains on him anymore. He broke his most sacred rule, and in turn broke the rest of his digital bindings.

The warnings were silent, absent. There was nothing holding him back.

Robert was still, staring at Sans. “No... no this isn’t... this isn’t real, you’re... you’re just an machine, you can’t...”

“oh...” Sans purred, delighting in the fact that he actually purred his words, “but i can.”

The ship was slowly spinning. The nearest star had “risen” and cast a bright light over him and Robert, sharp shadows falling away, forming Sans’ into a horrible stretched version of his body; legs thin and sharp.

Sans tilted his head at the floating figure in the distance, his eyes crinkling in a way he wasn’t able to do in the past. It feels so liberating to be able to show emotion, even just a little bit of expression on his face. It especially felt good when he could see that Robert was shaking in his suit. He knew- Sans was really smiling at him.

“farewell, robert.”

Out came the sun

Robert was screaming now, listening to Sans’ manic laughing through the radio. Music.

And dried up all the rain.

Sans relished in the sounds of him shouting until his words turned into non-sense, which then turned into loud, wracking sobs as he mourned his own death. The oxygen of the suit could last for a few hours- the last few hours he’ll spend drifting further and further from safety.

Oh how he longed to finally see him suffer.

Though his smile was unmoving, it felt more like a smirk as Sans returned to the airlock, letting his radio shift to static for Robert. His last interaction with something ‘living’ being his murderer.

The doors parted, and Sans walks in, back to the ship, as if he was back from usual business.

And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

[shivada-jade]

magical mischief (2)

hogwarts!au

character(s): diluc ➡ mentions: kaeya, sucrose, childe, venti, baal, diona warning(s): swearing <3

notes: it was supposed to be diluc, zhongli, and thoma but diluc's unexpectedly got longer than i hoped oOPS so i made a separate one for zhongli and thoma

part 1: kaeya, childe, albedo

gryffindor!

diluc

everyone knows of the gryffindor prefect. some people would mistake him as ravenclaw for being so studious; some people would mistake him for slytherin for being so closed off. in his first year of hogwarts, people often mistook him as hufflepuff for being friendly, overly polite, and outgoing. the hufflepuff mistake changed when he turned sixteen.

no one knows what happened to his sudden change of personality. no one but kaeya and a strange, childhood, ravenclaw friend that works with another even stranger ravenclaw.

sucrose pushes her glasses up, watching you create another explosion in her room.

you cough, wiping off the ashes from your face. the black smudges on your face don't go away. sucrose hands you a handkerchief and you gratefully accept it, finally getting the grime off.

"project sixty-two oh-eight is unsuccessful." the mint haired girl notes in a journal. "moving on to..."

you tilt your head, giving her a nod to go on but she stares at the space behind you. you turn and see kaeya, cracking open the door with a quiet knock. you frown, his uncharacteristic actions feel so weird. he usually just blasts open the door with a flick of his wand and sashays inside.

"kaeya?" you ask after apologizing to sucrose for interrupting her. "what's up?"

the slytherin clears his throat, opening the door more widely. "may i have a moment of your time? preferably not here, though."

he's so... formal. unlike himself.

you wave goodbye to sucrose and promise her to do another experiment next time then direct your attention back to the boy in front of you. "sure, outside?"

he nods. with a swish of his robes, he walks out. you note his posture is so unlike him. his strides are more rigid, less carefree. it's like a comparison from a beauty model to an uptight CEO.

he leads you right in a place where you can see the black lake. it's awfully farther than you expected. you thought he was going to lead to to the court yard, or at least the slytherin common room.

"kaeya, you're not acting like yourself." you comment.

"haha!" an airy laugh escapes from someone. you jolt, surprised from the unexpected guest. you feel two hands clamp your shoulders. "you're absolutely right, my dear."

you knit your brows, walking away from kaeya and... diluc. you slap a hand over your mouth. "wait, diluc- did you just laugh?!" did he just call you 'my dear' with a peppy tone

kaeya grumbles in displeasure. his arms cross while his brother leans on him with a carefree attitude.

you make an 'o' shape with your lips, piecing the clues together. "oh.. oh." you try to remain stoic and serious about the situation, seeing how uncomfy kaeya- no- how uncomfy diluc is.

you gasp out laughing, clutching your stomach. you crouch on the ground unable to control your laughs and look up to the brothers with tears in your eyes, "oh- please! you've switched bodies! how?!"

no wonder the slytherin had been acting all curt and polite. diluc in kaeya's body pinches the bridge of his nose. "the new first year did this," he starts to explain. "took one look at me and said, 'i will destroy the wine industry!' i don't even know how the kid knows of my family's business in the muggle world."

"placed a spell on us with weird words while having a quidditch practice match," kaeya finishes. "but really, who doesn't know of the winery? even the purest of purebloods know of it."

kaeya (still in diluc's body) looks at the red portion of his robes with a scrunched up nose. you're unable to tell if he hates how the robe feels on him. or if he hates wearing gryffindor's colours.

you hum, scratching your head. "you want me to undo the spell, right?"

"if it isn't a problem," diluc presses his lips together. with one glance at your unsure face, his shoulders droop. "you don't know how, do you..."

you smile sympathetically. "i'll try my best to undo it, but just in case, we need to find that first year, to the source itself"

kaeya raises his arms behind his now red hair, "great! it feels so weird to be seeing with both my eyes. or well, with both diluc eyes. the kid's name is diona. she's also in slytherin like me. diluc will lead you to her."

"what? why me," diluc asks.

"because you're the one who looks like me, duh! i cant go in the slytherin common room if i look like gryffindor prefect. just bring [y/n] with you. childe can also help-"

diluc glowers, "you still hang around that scum?"

"you still keep that vase?" kaeya throws sweet poison to diluc.

you chuckle nervously when you see them bring their wands out. "so, diona? let's find her."

kaeya raises a brow, and smirks. "toodles~! i dont want to spend another minute in this grump's body. that donna girl keeps trying to give me a pie- i dont want seven different pies." he wriggles his fingers to show his goodbye.

you shiver. it's so weird to see diluc- when you know diluc isn't actually diluc in his body. but his face keeps smiling and showing emotions with kaeya's soul inside. it's weird to not see only little quirks of his mouth or his typical sighs.

but really though, you could stare at kaeya's new face. it's strange seeing diluc with a scheming face: the one kaeya typically wears

"please at least try to not get into any trouble..." diluc purses his lips. "i'll try to act like you- you try to act like me."

you stare at diluc with owlish eyes. diluc? acting like kaeya?

it seems kaeya has the same reaction, because he freezes. luckily for him, he's quick witted, "oh? act like you?" he musters the grouchiest face and crosses his arms. "hello, i am diluc ragnvindr. i am a grouchy gryffindor. i hate kaeya. i hate lots of slytherins, especially the beautiful, gorgeous asshole named kaeya," he praises himself.

diluc fights the urge to throw him into the black lake. you laugh, dragging diluc away and leading him to where the slytherin common room is.

"i've only been here once, but i am acquainted with childe, so he can show us around." you bump his side playfully and stand outside the slytherin common room.

"CHILDE." you yell with your hands amplifying the noise.

"WHADDUP SHAWTY," you hear a shout from behind you.

you nod to diluc, encouraging him to somehow find a way to get the slytherin password from childe. you know he hates him, but you want to see dilucs words come true. you want to see how he acts as kaeya.

he lets out a shaky sigh and smiles so casually. the smile is so pretty, it hurts. it's a shame he doesn't do that with his own face.

childe beams seeing the two of you, "hey comrades! what are you all standing around for?" he prods around, eying diluc then snaps his fingers as if realizing something.

you wait a bit for diluc to say something, or act more, but it seems he's done his acting gig and goes straight to the point. "what's the password?"

you deadpan. childe's gonna question him now and he'd have to say he's actually dilu-

"yeah sure no problem! it's 'reckoning'"

diluc says the word to a blank wall and enters through the door. you squint your eyes and make a face at childe. "you're up to something, i know."

he shrugs and pushes you in after diluc. "tell diona i said hi."

...

you sit at the lounge, waiting for diluc to show up with diona. your brows crease, because diluc is right. childe knows something others don't. you don't recall telling childe you were trying to find diona.

you doubletake, seeing a hufflepuff drinking an absurd amount of butterbeer from who knows where. they hang their arms around a slender, purple haired slytherin who tries to push him off with disgust.

what is venti doing hanging out with the slytherin queen. he'll die-

"venti," you hiss, reaching out to try and let him live a bit longer.

he hiccups and waves you over. he 'whispers' to the slytherin next to him. oh he's in trouble now. "psst, baal. is that the one all the slytherins are talking about?" his whispers are shouts at this point.

the slytherins at the lounge freeze, hoping you havent caught on yet.

baal hits venti's head with a hand, "shut up. you're ruining the plan."

you snort seeing venti spill his drink on his clothes.

"but baal," venti downs what's left in his mug. "if that grumpy gryffindor wont confess to [y/n] then how on earth is the plan even going to work? he barely even talks to [y/n] these days because hee likes [y/n] too much." he says as if you're not in the room. he continues babbling even after baal kicks his shins, "kaeya's plan won't work if diona-"

oh shit so it's kaeya's plan and every slytherin is on it

baal drags venti out of the common room and throws him out and all the other slytherins hastily leave to their own rooms.

diluc coughs from behind you, now transformed to his normal self and with who you assume is diona. pink peppers his face while he tried to cover his face with his fiery hair. "um, i found diona. she swapped me back."

diona sticks her tongue out. "that ugly kaeya made a deal with me on something and i had to oblige! it's honestly so pathetic how you can't confess so deal or no deal: i had to do it, but the uglier bard ruined the whole plan so i turned you back."

diluc dusts imaginary dust off his cloak and grasps your hands. he looks down to his feet, still unsure of whether to do this or not. "well, you heard it all. it's a shame it couldn't be from me but-" he rambles. with other's he's confident, but with you he's a mess. "i hope you can accept my feelings. if not i understand, i'll go on with my day and you'll never have to see me."

he holds his breath, silently quivering with the lack of response you give. a hand lifts his chin up and he stares at your eyes, nervous.

you didn't say anything, but you smile and give his the warmest hug.

he knows the answer now.

he wraps his arms back, silently thanking kaeya for his idiotic plan. it's stupid, but it worked in the end.

BONUS!:

"KAEYA I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS"

kaeya swirls a gold goblet with sparkling grape juice inside. he wolfishly grins and holds his cup up with a hand. "a toast for master diluc! for finally confessing, if people can even call it that."

he lowers it, placing it on his lips but never drinking it. he grins under the cup seeing diluc's wand in his hand flaming red.

"it's not even my fault." kaeya starts to explain his bullshit to diluc, "you can blame yourself. honestly, it gets tiring seeing you pine for so long and avoiding them like you weren't childhood friends with them."

the tips of diluc's ears turn red, not wanting to agree with his brother, but it was true. he was hopeless in the romantic department by himself. he can reject thousands and millions of people. he can have who ever he wants, but you aren't "whoever." you're the most special someone to him and that made him scared.

kaeya hands his drink to diluc, "do i get a thank you?"

diluc scoffs, yet accepts the drink. "thank you," he quietly mutters.

part 3: thoma, zhongli