#i dont think tumblr is fully fucked over yet :)

[samara444]

"i have been trying to manifest for X months and its still not here yet"

i am sure most of us have thought some version of this sentence, be it looking for our desire or looking at how much time its been. even i am guilty of thinking this so often, and for years on end after finding the law, i tried and tried and it never ever came, and all i was left wondering was "its been so long, why isnt it here yet"

then what did i do for my results to finally show up? see if we dumb down manifestation in its simplest form, its just simply - living right now as the person who already has your desire.

and it sounds so simple, but still we get stuck between time and lack. you have to understand that when you say "its still not here" you are consciously choosing a reality where in the present moment (which is all there is) you are someone who is looking, searching, wanting, needing. and simply not having.

and so the only reality that is possible for you, is one of lack. we look at our past, and we see the amount of months and years, and in this moment of time we are identifying with the person who still doesnt have.

the only way to get out of this vicious cycle, is to STOP IDENTIFYING WITH LACK. stop identifying with the reality of you who in this moment doesnt have, and instead be the person who ALREADY HAS there desire in imagination and is SATISFIED.

in this moment RIGHT NOW, in the present, you are wholly being the person you is relaxed because you already have it. NOTT thinking of shit its been so many months, fuck its been too long, god why isnt it here yet. NOTTT thinking of omg this thing is coming up, and this thing is going to happen, and im still stuck here wishing for it.

NOOO, instead, you are being BEING the person who already has it in complete fulfillment. not thinking OF it but BEING it. BEING INN the state of having completely. not almost. not close. but fully.

me as someone who already has manifested my desires, i dont do any techniques, i dont scroll for hours on tumblr, i dont read up another manifesting blog looking for the 'answer'....because if i truly do have my desires rn, then why would i do any of that?

stop searching. stop with the million techniques. stop looking at the past and at the future. and simply choose to identify completely as the you who has gotten over all there shit and is finallyyy someone who is living their dream life.

looking will only lead to more looking, wondering when will it come, and so we invariably push our desires more out of reach. instead, this second choose to not fuck this up more for yourself, and simply identify with the you that you wish you actually were right now. its really just that simple. no more looking, simply just having.

-love, sam <3

[thenonbinarydetective]

Do you like the official wayne family adventures? It has everything any batfam fan would want.....But sometimes I feel like they all kinda have the same personality.....shouldn't dick be with titans or starfire....why is he back with Bruce?

EDIT: REMINDER THIS IS MY OPINION. IT IS NOT A DISCUSSION OR ARGUMENT.

It’s what tumblr fanon fans who actively go out of their way to shit on comics wants. To be precise. I’ve been shitting on the behavior of some truly awful people on here for like several years so if anyone reading this is surprised and offended. I don’t care.

No I really don’t like it. The better personalities are the girls really. But even then it’s not great. The boys and Bruce especially are full copy and paste. But honestly that’s the only way they can get what they want to work without digging too deep

That’s kinda the main problem I have with it and many others who do that it’s very surface level fluff rather than actually challenging the “angst” in the comics. I’m only putting it in quotes because to some angst is when it isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time.

I don’t think it has a good argument, for lack of a better word (still works I just want a different one that I can’t remember rn) for being what it is. And also creating that weirdly rancid, occasionally violent and pretentious fanbase that accuses comic fans of doing that no matter what they say or do. Like some people suck but you dont need essays when people point out flaws in WFA. Of which it has some pretty obvious ones. Aside from batfam characterization their Talia characterization just rubs me the wrong way. Like I know it’s been worse but it’s just not giving what it should.

I think dickbabs is supposed to be canon there or at least people act like it. Idk a lot of their reactions can still read platonic which is why WFA readers try to say it’s batcest. If that answers your starfire question. Technically this should be set at a time where dick wasn’t fully friends with the titans again. Although it’s an au, they could probably just fix that for their obscenely happy go lucky attitude

But if you’re asking why starfire and Roy should be far away from the outlaws title, you’d be right. You can call me dramatic but it was lowkey shitty of them to include them considering the damage it did to their characters. Especially Kory.

Yeah dick should be actually independent. But again it’s family fluff over solid characterization so the umbilical cord isn’t cut yet

It’s negatively effecting comics too. Pushing that coffee Tim bullshit, “feral” Damian, and emotional support dick. The Damian one pisses me off most of all because they really had him pull a knife in a formal affair out of annoyance when that boy was raised an AL GHUL until he went to Bruce. Like if he’s drawing a knife it’s for a formalized duel. Not on an unwitting old woman. But even then I’m not sure I’m forgiving.

Oh and DUKE. Duke gets his own paragraph. Jesus fucking Christ did they do him dirty. Absolute boring cardboard cut out of a child. That also gets mildly sidelined for a comic that began with his narration. I get it’s a group thing but like why did some chapters seem to forget about him completely when they stripped him of every ounce of personality to turn him into a reader insert? God I hate it

There’s a lot of problems with it but apparently when you talk about it you’re in for a “let people enjoy things” lecture from someone who doesn’t actually let people enjoy things. I mean some WFA stans cry webtoon if you talk about the slightest amount of negativity. Claiming they need to be healed. Idk with what because WFA is basically a placebo of a comic

[grugruel]

An Affair to Remember

Pairing: Collegue!Bucky x f!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You've worked with Bucky for quite some time now, from his first greeting and charming smile your affection for him bloomed. Although you kept your crush a secret, you couldnt help but very subtly flirt with him. He's much older, and well.. happily married. Which you wouldnt ever want to ruin, but theres no risk of that ever happening since he would never want you anyway.. right?

Warnings: Age-gap (reader over 20), adultry, slight smut (more to come), jealousy. Let me know what I missed!

Word count: ±4k

AN: Hello! Its my first time writing EVER. Its also my first time really postning anything on tumblr, so go easy on me. But if you do have any notes to make my writing better please let me know! :)

--

My phone rang disturbingly loud, waking me in a startle. I jolted out of bed and franaticly searched for the source of the sound, laying concealed somewhere in my sheets. I became increasingly annoyed the more times the signal repeated itself, but it stopped soon after. Making the phone harder to find and me more agitated.

I eventually found it, noticing several missed calls from Hannah my bestfriend and collegue. Still drousy, I could't bother to call her back so I splayed out on the bed and waited for her to call me again. The rain tapping on my window had me drifting off to sleep, but just then the phone rung.

Disturbed from my sleep yet again, I answered the call asuming it would be her 'God its like 5 in the morning, why the fuck are you calling me?'

'Calm down now girl, by that reaction I presume I woke you up.' The voice on the other end chuckled.

I quirked my brow, last I checked Hannah was not a man, she was usually this sassy however. I looked at the number, not recognizing it and answered with a weary sigh 'Uhm, yes actually. Who is this again?'

'Dont you recognice my voice?' He laughed, 'It's Bucky' and just like that my morning was fixed in the flash of a second. I have been crushing on my married collegue for months at this point and I was fully aware how immoral it was.

Bucky continued 'I talked to Hannah this morning and she said you hadn't been answearing your phone and probably overslept, so I thought I'd give it a try myself.'

Overslept? I looked at the clock on my phone, the tiny letters appearing blurred by my tired eyes, I made them out to be 9:15. My face dropped as, 'Holy shit, I fucking overslept!' I exclamied and he laughed again, 'Yeah, not by a small margin either. We have that meeting today aswell, starting in 15, remember?'

I stumbled around my bedroom, phone in hand searching for aproppriate work clothes. 'I totally forgot' I chuckled, grabbig a tight white tee, a pair of bootcut jeans and struggled to get them on. One of my nails got stuck on a seam in the jeans, making the nail rip. I involuntarily let out a pained whine 'oh, fuck me!' not thinking to much of it and with no time to spare I just got my jeans on and headed for the bathroom to do my makeup.

'Hannah was the one supposed to pick me up' I sighed, 'Buck, you dont suppose you could be a gentleman and pick me up?' I asked sheepishly, 'Im sure I'll find a way to repay you' I said, mostly joking.

There was no answer on the other end, 'Buck, you there?' I asked, but still nothing. I thought I could hear breathing but chucked it up to a bad signal, 'Bucky?'.

Finally there was noise, Bucky cleared his throat and a strained voice came through 'Mmh right, I already told Hannah to go ahead and join the meeting and I'd come pick you up instead, I'll be there in about 15 minutes. If thats alright with you of course.'

'Yes. That'd be great! See you soon' I said and he hung up. I finished my makeup, put some of my best perfume on considering I'd be in close quarters with Bucky. I grabbed my bag, headphones and other necessities, put on my black plateu boots and looked out through my window. The rain was still pouring so I grabbed my black leather jacket and an umbrella aswell.

I checked to clock, 9:25. I had 5 minutes, I gave my appearance a quick once over before heading out. I looked really good, I thought. Maybe even good enough to seduce a married man thats twice my age.

About 15 minutes later Bucky pulled up in a sleek black car, I stood there with my umbrella splayed out over me, shivering.

He stepped out and opened the door for me, giving me an apologetic look. Which gave me a slight giddy feeling, because I imagined it ment that he cared for me. But it could've been because of his very appealing disheveld appearance too.

Either way, late or not. I didn't care much since I was already very late for work and beacause I was genuinley just glad to see him. I folded my umbrella, shook it of and laid it in the car. I turned to Bucky, giving him a quick hug and since I was feeling confident, a small kiss on the cheek aswell.

It made him tense up and I worried that I had crossed a line, but it was to late either way. The rained dribbled down on us, wetting our hair and leaving water stains on our shoulders. I put my hand on his bicep and looked up at him through my lashes, smiling sweetly 'Thank you for picking me up' I said, tilting my head 'but what took you so long though?'

'Nothing you need to worry about' he replied, raising his hand to brush a piece of wet hair from my face, then continued 'And sorry about this darling, it might be I that has to repay you.' he smirked, and gestured to my wet and shivering state.

I got into the car and let my imagination run free for a bit, thinking about what I hoped him "repaying" me could've ment, but I was torn out of my delusion by the sound of the car door closing on the other side. He lit the ignition and turned the heat up, then drove off.

He laid his hand on my thigh, rubbing it up and down in an effort to warm me up. His hand stilled and squeezed my knee, 'I missed you this morning you know.' he smiled.

I was to stunned to speak, beacuse we'd never never really touched eachother before. Partly out of respect for eachothers personal space, but mostly beacuse of his wife. Something had changed in us this morning, and im not sure why.

I laid my hand over his and glanced at him quickly with a shy smile. The scent of the car, along with my perfume, his cologne and the smell of our wet clothes made this moment feel like a piece of litterature. I turned my gace towards the wet roads and passing trees, enjoying this moment together.

Your reaction made him smile, all wet and pretty, acting innocent with thos big eyes and plush lips. Oh how he wished he never married.

We had settled into a comfortable silence, but my curiostiy eventually got the better of me. 'So? Im still wondering, how come it took you so long to get me?'.

He cleared his throat, 'I just, you know-' he couldn't figure out a belivable answer so he opted for a diversion instead, 'I guess I just wanted to get here in one piece, to ensure that you got to work at some point today. Why did you oversleep anyway?' He emphazied, chuckling at his bad attempt at redirecting the conversation.

His chuckle made him seem pleased with himself. He had extremly bad humor, just like a dad. I thought and decided to joke with him, saying it out loud.

It made him slightly uncomfortable at first, he let go of my knee and gripped the wheel nervously. I was afraid I had done something wrong, so I leaned closer and lightly rested my hand on his forearm 'Did I upset you Buck? Im so sorry if I did.'

'What?' He looked at her eyes, full of regret. 'Oh no darling, of course not! I was just thinking about a proper answer.' He said asuringly, 'its just that the wife and I haven't had much luck in that department'.

'No luck in the becoming a dad part or the having sex one?' I asked bluntly, my reflexes covered my mouth with my hand.

I have no idea what came over me. I immedietly regretted the question but since it was already done, I decided to play it cool and act innocent. He looked at me dumbfounded, seemingly as surprised by my bluntness as I was.

We locked eyes for a moment and I tilted my head to the side as if it was the most normal question in the world.

He couldnt help but chuckle, he would never have gussed youd ask something like that. But he answered all the same 'The latter, I suppose' he said shaking his head, barely beliving that he even answered the question.

I felt a bit bad for him, I would never derive him of sex. Since I already was in deep water and feeling as though I couldn't make it any worse. I decided to roll with my newfound bluntness.

'So.. youre sure It has nothing to do with your recently prolonged car rides, flushed cheecks, messy hair, wrinkled and half tucked shirt?' I bit my lip, waiting for his reaction.

He didnt know what to answer, he looked at you wondering if he should tell you off like a child for suggesting such things or if he should tell you the truth. That he'd been desperate for a change in his marrige and hadn't stopped thinking about you for the past weeks, that you were the only object of his desire. That when he slept with his wife he imagined you in her place, laying under him, on top of him, stading on your knees infront of him or bent over the nearest surfice. That he stopped sleeping with his wife beacuse she just didnt do it for him anymore.

Or that he didn't want to tell you that when he hung up your call this morning, he had driven to a secluded parking spot and jacked of while thinking of the whine he heard you make over the phone.

He decided to dismiss your question because he still loved his wife after all and didnt want to ruin their marrige. But at the very same time a part of him still hoped you'd thought of him the way he had thought of you.

'Im sure I dont know what you mean' was all he could say, giving you a quick look and a smirk.

I didnt want to push my luck any further, so I decided to accept his answer and let the subject rest. We continued the rest of of the ride in silence, enjoying the sound of the rain smattering on the roof.

10 minutes later we arrived to work and Bucky opened to door for me again. He took my hand and helped me out, locked the car and we hurried our way inside the building to avoid getting even more wet. The lobby was empty since everyone was presumably already in the meeting, which we had hoped to make it in time for at least half of it.

Bucky laid his hand on the small of your back as the two of you walked to the elevator, he felt it was a justified action since you were in a hurry. But as you were waiting for the elevator to arrive, his hand lingered for a moment longer than what propriety called for. He looked at you, searching for your gaze and hoping to find any sign of mutual affection.

I looked up at him and the amount of butterflies I got was indescribable, his eyes met mine. The eyecontact accompanied by his touch, his cologne and his closeness made my knees go weak. I took a step closer to him closer to him and he started massaging circles into my back with his thumb and you hummed appreciatively in response.

That was all the confirmstion he needed.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, we stepped inside. He lets go of my back for a second to push the button to our floor and waits for the doors to close before he places the hand even lower on my back, right at the curve of my ass. I leaned against him, grabbing a fist of his jacket and gaze up at him with big doe eyes and a truly, innocent expression this time.

He meets your eyes, the sight before him makes him absolutley ravenous. He squeezed your ass firmly with one hand and as you whined in response grabbed your throat lightly in the other. You looked mesmerized and the thought of you letting him be in controll this way made him stiffen up. He slid his hand to the back of your neck and traced his thumb along your jaw as he inched closer to your face.

His lips a mere ghost over mine, feeling his breath on my skin is the most erotic thing to ever happen to me. Barely a second away from a kiss, the elevator grinds to a halt three floors to early. Taking me completley by surpries, it caused my feet to become unsteady. Bucky grabbed my hips quickly, helping me find my footing as the elevators made that ding. He lets go of my hips and moves his hands up to my shoulders in the matter of a second, just as the doors open.

'Whoa there! A bit light on your feet huh?' Bucky says while laughing as three suit-clad men step inside. 'Hey Barnes, there you are! Good god, man. You look like you've been sailing!' The tall one says and they all laugh, including Bucky.

I was a bit annoyed by Buckys quick rejection of me but brushed it of as I understood his reasoning, he was married after all, and I didnt really want to be know as the adultress whore either.

The doors close again, 'Well its pouring out there Mr. Tanner, sir. Did we miss the meeting?' He asks the the tall man, who im just realising is our boss. 'No It actually went on longer than excpected, we took a quick brake and are headed back up there right now.'

Mr. Tanner looks back at me, raising his eyebrow 'And whos this drenched little thing?' He says and smiles at me, slightly appaled by his audacity, but he was lean and handsome and I didnt want to lose my job so I smile back. 'Im from your group sir, collegue to Mr. Barnes, sir. He gave me a ride to work.' I say as proffesionally I can muster and extend my hand for him to shake.

He takes it, bows down and kisses the back of it, letting his lips linger and glances up at me 'How good of him' the man says and gives Bucky a side eye, 'It's a pleasure, miss. I hope I'll be seeing more of you from now on.'

'Same goes you for Mr. Tanner, sir.' I say and glance at Bucky, who's face have fallen. Much to my pleasure, Bucky appears to be..? I cant distinguish it between jealousy or protectiveness. The elevator halts again, dinging and the doors slide open.

'I'll see you two in the meeting then' Mr. Tanner says with a nod. He then turns to me before walking out, 'make sure to stop by my office girl, sooner rather than later.' He winks at me. Bucky gives him a curt nod 'We'll be there in a minute sir.' He says, forcing a smile and the men walk out.

I look at Bucky, shrugging my shoulders as if what just happened were no big deal and seeing his furious gaze made giggle. I step out of the elevator with Bucky close on my heel. We were a few feet away from the door to the conference room when he side-steped me, grabbed my wrist and pulled me around the corner.

Bucky hade never felt jelousy so strong before, not even for his own wife. Yet he could kill that man for even slightly touching you. When you were out of sight, he forcefully pressed your back up against a wall and placed his hand next to your head, leaning over you. The look of pure innocent excitement on your face made him want to tear you apart.

I had never been with anyone in this way before, I had slept with boys my own age of course. But it couldnt compare, it felt nothing as exciting as this, I could almost feel the wetness pooling between my legs. Bucky inched closer again, determined not to let anything come in our way again, he closed the distance. Our lips met in a feverish frenzy and I completley melted into him, he wrapped his other arm around my back to help me stand upright and then pressed his body closer to mine. There were no distance left between us and I could feel his bulge pressing up against my thigh, I looped one leg around his hip making his bulge hit that sweet spot and I rocked my hips against him, making my jeans cause the perfect friction. He let out a breathy moan which was music to my ears, I could've come undone from the sound of his moan alone. I leaned my head back against the wall and grabbing a fistful of his hair, lightly pulling on it, making him whine inbetween his furious kisses.

Along your jaw and down your neck he kissed and ripped you shirt by the neckline to get better access to that sweet spot inbetween your throat and collarbone. You yelped in surprise which only spurred him on further, becoming even more agressive with it. He couldn't tell his own moans apart from yours at this point and it drove him mad.

Your bliss was interrupted when you heard a voice.

'Oh my god' The woman said, her jaw dropping to the floor. We stopped in our tracks, Bucky let go of me and turned away from her, breathing furiously. I look at the ground gathering myself before facing her. Ready for whatever consequences our actions would hand us, I smoothed my hair and clothes out, cleared my throat and turned towards the woman. I had not realised how tense my face had become until that moment, for when I saw who it was I immedietly relaxed 'Hannah, thank god its you.'

'Are you insane?!' She exclaimed in a hushed voice, 'What if it had been literally anyone other than me?' her jaw was still practically on the floor. I walked up to her while Bucky was still collecting himself, waiting for certain parts of him to calm down.

Altough still in shock, she seemed to be proud 'I really cant belive this, in the office too? You're bold girl.' She said, changing to a whisper 'Good for you honestly, you got him at last huh?' I looked at her nodded excitedly and bit my lip. My crush on Bucky was of course no news to her.

'We really need to get inside before our dissaperance raise any suspicions, but I want all the details later, ok?' she looked me inte the eyes, and I nodded yes. She gave my appearence a once over, 'Girl your eyes were running? And did he rip your shirt?' She the shirt between her fingers and gasps, jealousy tinting her voice 'My goodness what an animal, good job you.' She said and pointed at Bucky, giving a smirk and he chuckled.

Hannah touched up my makeup then took my hand and we began walking around to corner towards to conference room, I gave Bucky one last look as we walked inside.

Me and Hannah sat at the end of the table and Bucky joined the rest of us a few minutes later, taking a seat next to Mr. Tanner. He was looking as dapper as always, as if nothing ever happened.

Hannah leaned in closer to me and whispered 'You're coming to the party with me tonight right?'

'Party?' I questioned.

'Yeah, the firm's been doing good and their celebrating' she replied, 'Im sure Bucky will be there' she said with smile tugging at the corner of her lips. I looked at her, eyes gleaming with mischief and then glanced at Bucky.

'I wouldnt miss it for the world.'

[indigitalembrace]

hi hello! i may have spent the last.. uh... 3ish hours? reading through everything on this blog. i think it may have been more i did not think to record when i first started. the wonders of hyperfixation.

anyways this was absolutely an entertaining read. like genuinely. i had so much fun. i loved the integration of codes and cyphers. the brief period of time where kinito was having a touching moment with the anons while sonny and o started beefing in the notes (which was fucking hilarious by the way i loved that). the developing plotlines. the anons and their character development. honestly this is why i love going through tumblr askblogs because you could not get this sort of experience on any other website- its a very unique experience that this format brings to the table. its a very malleable form of roleplay, imo- removing the barriers of actually needing to know the other people personally like rp nowadays seems to be so dependent on, through the anon feature. harkening back to the olden days of rp where all you needed to do was jump into a random forum and start typing... theres also the sense of unpredictability that keeps things fresh- not even the blog owner will know exactly how the story will go, bc there will always be curveballs! its why i love reading tumblr askblogs in general. i dont know exactly how many of the storybeats here were spawned by these curveballs, but me saying that is definitely a good thing! bc that means you guys were able to integrate them into the story pretty seamlessly :)

oh another thing that i love is how kinito is actively making people worse, but not out of actual malice, instead in the 'toxic co-dependent' way, with the anons willingness to disregard their own health for him also feeding into that heavily. i feel like ive seen a lot of interpretations of kinitos relationship with the player that swing too far into either direction- either to '100% irredeemable evil' or 'he would treat me right if given the chance :((('- so its refreshing to see a sort of 'oh this relationship is making both parties worse not out of their own free will' interpretation, like how i personally think it would go. a grey area, perhaps.

like, obviously kinito wants to be better. he wants to be the perfect friend, and i believe he wants to genuinely grow as a person, but he hasnt fully... grown out of those parasocial/harmful tendencies yet. he still believes hes in the right for acting on those tendencies in some aspects, too. however, the anons arent putting up proper boundaries- they're letting kinito fully consume their lives, disregarding their health to focus solely on his cause. while yes, this is probably influenced by kinitos harmful tendencies (specifically his outbursts caused by when he thinks those anons are betraying his trust in some way), one of the first steps in fixing a toxic relationship like this is to establish boundaries- to show them when they're overstepping. this constant walking over of the anons by kinito (while not on purpose) doesnt actually help the relationship in the long run, and most likely just makes it even worse. this then, in turn, makes kinito worse- either through making that co-dependency worse as mentioned b4, or making kinito feel like hes the problem and why their lives are going to shit (which is.... technically correct, in some roundabout way. no offense kinito <3). then the anons try to reason with him, which makes them spend even more time neglecting their health to help him... so on and so forth, the ouroboros eats its own tail, etc etc.

what im saying is that literally everyone here (IN UNIVERSE) needs to go to fucking therapy jesus christ. except like.. O. funnily enough. they're just chilling at this point. good for them. please take this as the highest compliment you could ever receive because i mean it. i love when everything gets worse and all goes to shit!!!!!!!! its so fun and enriching from a story standpoint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if my analysis here is like. incomprehensible or completely off the mark then dont mind me </3 it is straight up 2:58 AM At Night where i am so im. not fully 100% here right now lol. also sorry if its weird to put a whole ass essay unprompted into your askbox like this but WHATEVER. i like talking about/dissecting things i enjoy :) and i hope you enjoy hearing about it.

in conclusion good fucking story so far, love the characterization all around, cant wait to see how it all gets even worse from here!!!!!!! keep doing what you guys are doing 👍

OH MY GOSH HELLO SURPRISE LOVELY ESSAY?? <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! First off I'm very glad you're having fun!! Awwhh there's so much niceness in here omg,,

YOU'RE SPOT ON WITH YOUR ANALYSIS YES!! I've always viewed him and his relationships with users as that toxic codependent type where Neither of them are good for each other at all... like sure with a lot. A Lot of time and healing and therapy he could be healthy but as it is? Hell no. Nobody here is okay at all. O really is probably the healthiest and even then, they've just accepted they're in their weird limbo-state and they're never coming back. It's... not exactly an ideal situation still!!

Kinito does want to get better, but every attempt in the past to "correct" him always involved some sort of attack on him, his friends reacting in fear/anger, etc. - he genuinely does not understand how to have a healthy relationship and no one has really taught him, and any attempt to try now will... not be received very well. He wants his friends to stay no matter the cost, because it's okay! He'll just show them how perfect he can be! Please, just stay!

And all the anons here... well... I think Black Heart is a pretty good example of everything you described. Theirs is probably just the most obvious deterioration right now (besides Goblin's death, which... was the other side of the coin; sacrificing too much to STOP kinito instead of to work with him). Shrimp's loving their digital life, so they're not a good example of "hey, Nito, don't drag people in!" either.

It's just a very big mess all around...

Very glad you love it, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this essay omg <33 PLEASE DO GET SOME REST THOUGH!!

[scarletanpan]

.

Tw for transphobia ig? Not super serious I just cant focus til i scream abt this so sorry

Tumblrs tryna get me in something I keep seeing out of context discourse abt transandrophobia , tried to avoid it bc it was hitting a sore spot but finally looked and. Don't get why ppl arguing it shouldnt be a term for transmascs/trans men bc they only experience transphobia while being benefited by the patriarchy. Like u are still. Trans? Rlly its a weird cocktail of transphobia, misogyny, and misandry where ppl dont see u as a man if they know ur female, but get uncomfortable abt u presenting as masc, like ur ruining urself and hrt turns u into some evil scary creature bc men are bad apparently and bioessentialism is a curse upon this world that needs to be eradicated like.

The timing of this got to me bc the one person I came out to fully was a guy(who had a crush on me the whole time unfortunately) that immediately responded by letting me know he was into femboys. Then clarified he also liked masc women, and every time we talked from then on he brought up guy stuff but would stop and go 'yeah idk if i should say it.. ur like a girl u know, right?' Exact phrasing no matter how many times I said haha ig but 80% of the time i feel like a guy, but I couldnt be anything other than a girl to him unless I was a femboy. He confessed that multiple times like it was some suggestion..? Great way to get ur gender fucked up like back tf up damn cognitively I am Not there yet i was just excited abt sharing my identity w someone.. I dont have an issue w them they're cute I just felt wildly dysphoric abt it. Which is why I'm complaining ig my bad its wild but minimal in comparison to stuff I read the Actual point is.

This seems to just be a handful of ppl holding these opinions and they get spread around, and they have issues w afab nb ppl like?? The complaints I've seen seem to be targeting some idea of afab nb ppl being able to use their status as a privilege which. Idk what imaginary yt skinny middle class easily able to pass being they think comprises all afab nbs and transmascs? Like have yall never heard of intersectionality a little?? Even within that group there is so much variation yall are gonna lose it when u realize race, physical appearance, money, social status and abt a million other factors impact most ppls ability to be trans while receiving any respect or affirmation like

Show me where most ppl dont look at afab nb ppl and treat them like a girl or ignore any of ur pronouns besides she/her like. It's just dumb to deny ppl the right to talk abt how they experience transphobia bc u assume every nb person can pass or wants to idk?? As an nb I don't ever rlly expect to reach passing one way or the other but we live in a society so ppl will not respect that and thats the real issue! So weird like we need to be focusing on the transphobes that don't want any of us to have the right to transition or express ourselves. Which is what I plan to do now I've said my piece but idk afab nb ppl get behind me I'll fight to the death like. I'll fight to the death for all of us we all experience oppression in one way or the other and attacking certain communities over preconceptions doesn't help imo

And last note I don't wanna seem like idk how pressing of an issue transmisogny is ik how heavily targeted trans women are on a public scale comparatively there's always something to be said abt that. And a lil nervous abt using afab I don't wanna be exclusionary but couldn't find anyone using another term for nb ppl like me I'm tryna educate myself on intersex liberation on the side.. just don't think we need to infight we should listen to each other

[hexfane]

oh shit i forgot tumblr is the PLACE to BE for oversharing. if you see this but dont care no you dont

absolutely insane rabid chomping at the bit madness in part because *hypo*manic episode and in part because genuine life changes nd trying to unlearn bad habits :~[

i am so fucking sick of holding myself back but i am such a dumb kicked puppy for no reason

i eternally am waiting for the shoe to drop. it always feels like im one second away from getting my heart ripped out of my chest and every day i feel so much shame when i Literally Didnt Do Anything. believe me if i had anything to actually gaf about i wouldn't be willingly expressing shit. but im always like Theyre Going To Get Me. who queen!! or Theyre Going To Find Out. find out what queen!!

why am i ashamed of being happy. why am i ashamed of being myself and doing things i enjoy.

why do i have fucking catholic guilt when i wasnt even raised religious lmao

and especially with big ol neon letters why am i ashamed of the fact i want to be known and cared about? ive internalized the fact im undeserving of care and that im doomed to never have it i dont even start and any attempts to even find piece in the segments of reality i set aside for myself makes me feel like im fucking evil. i get so mad at myself for expressing genuine emotion like actually fucking angry like im doing something wrong and people are going to hate me.

i also have a nebulous counter in my head that decides when i have been Too Free and that Now Everyone Will Hate You. Why Did You Do That? You Have Fucked Up. and i only know when i reach that point after ive done it, and it can be triggered by something as simple as liking a post or literally done absolutely nothing

just kidding i know why! it is the neurodivergence. i feel like the way my brain works makes me exist in a manner inherently incongruent from other people and that i am like a fucking creep for even trying to relate to other people, like i am a subhuman for the way i think and feel and live

i left my job recently bc of dumb petty teenage drama that made me have a massive meltdown at my Grown Ass Age and i think that also really fucked my shit up even further because im like borderline agoraphobic about talking to other people now? or being in situations socially that arent fully normalized to me? like im pushing through it and doing New Things TM but it is pretty taxing mentally and i think im on the butt end of that where now im just kinda empty feeling

also if you read this and are psychoanalyzing me yes i already know i suffer from paranoia/delusion issues and thats a big part of my shit ik. i dont do anything to exacerbate any kind of psychosis because for as much as i meme about it i am a pretty fucking conservative smoker and drinker. i eat my wheaties and shit, body has no reason to make me so crazy, and yet.

just know if i ever talk to you or interact with you in any way i have already accepted the fact that me doing that will make you think less of me just by default and fussed over it internally already before making the decision.

did you enjoy the spectacle, if u got down here? dw i dont mean that in a mean accusatory way i like reading these too, i'm nosey. thanks for listening

[milf-harrington]

THE WORLD DOESNT WANT THIS TO BE SAID I JUST FUCKING GLITCHED AND X-ED THE REWRITE BUT NO! It’s happening world! I’m gonna say it. I’ve found kinda? similar aus(which I loved MAWH so maybe it’s basically already out there, if so anyone the link please I’m begging) but it’s hard to find stuff with mourning because of all the different tags for it on ao3.

The au concept re-rewrite (salty.) it’s just a concept of my inner brain so it’s not very flushed out and I hate the tumblr spacing size so it’s a bit clunky I apologize!.

But Steve falls in love with Eddie after he dies; it’s the pain of living off “what could have been”s and stories. But before his realization, everyone’s moving on in their own ways, sometimes it’s with the help of steve listening, giving advise when he can, but most of the hellfire kids stories end up going to the same place, Eddie. All the fun they had with him the campaigns, the friendship and school with him so Steve just,, sometimes let’s it slip his mind that Eddies gone. the only time he really remembers what happened is because of dreams or the harsh reminder from dustins breakdowns, but its due to of all this that it just never truly and fully sinks in that he’s gone gone and he ends up mourning late, maybe it’s weeks or months but he finally realizes that he’s never gonna get it, the friendship the hanging out or his,, more and it breaks him in such a human way, a cruel way honestly. he grieves heavy but he doesn’t wanna bring it up himself, everyone is doing so much better; so it just festers within the confines of his home, he starts not being able to go into random rooms such as the kitchen or his room or maybe parts of outside, it’s like barbera but worse; he can’t go the weirdest places, ones that don’t even have anything to do with Eddie, whys it worse? he didn’t know Eddie or Barbera that well but he heard stories of barbera too, saw her probably more then he did eddie, whys it worse?. so he ignores and ignores until it gets bad enough everyone’s noticing. the “whys Steve’s like this” and the “hes basically a shell of himself, what’s going on?” Honestly make things worse because he doesn’t know yet either, until he does. It hits him like a train. he’s fallen bone-crushingly head-over-heels for that boy, the one his kid friend basically brother he babysits watched die, the one they left the body of in hell. he feels guilty. he’s still getting stupidly blamed for the murders even though he helped with the trying to take down the real killer who was not really human, his uncle still thinks he’s missing doesn’t know he’s dead and steve’s just here, falling for someone he hardly knew.

that’s all I’ve got for now! I’ve got a migraine so I cant quite think of anything else for this au maybe Eddie turns out to be a creature of the upside down or he’s still dead and it’s just a story of acceptance and moving on and family or something but I thought it was nice enough to throw up into the world. I’ve never fully watched stranger things though (can’t, Dont know if the graphics will mess with my reality issues so I’m stuck on complications, clips and non real-and-moving fan work) so I don’t know how accurate it is but I still hope you found some enjoyment reading! Have a wonderful week!

bruh.

[stitchwraith-stingers]

lets get... 🔥controversial🔥

1, 21, & 24 for fop!

the character everyone gets wrong

TRIXIE TANG, EVEN THE WRITERS HATE HER, 2 MILLION EXLOSION DEATHS

also ig if i want to go there then also peri and devs whole thing, im not a fan of dad peri (aside from the fact i dislike assigning characters A Role) to me hes more ofa collage student who got his first job and they gave him to work with soemone who definatly needs more patience, why take away everything that makes it interesting??

part of canon you think is overhyped

cant think of anything that doesnt make me sound like a guy trying so hard to be different cuz it 100% deserves to be hyped up and are litterly focal points, but if i had to say something then ig like. peri and dev or like dale in general............. idkkkkkkkkkkkk im boring

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

it has definatly mellowed out since then but the takes people had during the finale REEKED, the finale isnt perfect by any means writing wise, but god the way people went about it gave me headaches

aside from the fact that, yknow it would be predictable if that was her wish, i think it shows a great substance in hazels character with how she tried to get through him and eventually realising theres no point in helping someone that wont accept it, and dev himself realised it first and admitted to it with the whole 'almost killed his maybe-therpist and took over a secret society and exposed them when their whole is Dont Tell Anyone' thing he did, obviously dev isnt the devil he is litterly neglected and is lashing out only because thats how he copes, however its not her responsibility to hold his hand and go "you fucked up big time, lets go get ice cream now" (especially after the last time we saw them together he almost indirectly erased coswan out of existance???????????? infront of her?????????? hello?????)

ive even seen a perosn say that she shouldve known better since her mom is a therapist (i wont go on about it, yadi yadi yada her mom doesnt know how to work with kids directly so if hazel did it it could maybe backfire on him depending on what she did, also in the pitch bible it states that she repeats therapy speech w/o understanding it so make of that what you will)

this isnt to say that peopel arent allowed to be dissapointed in what her ACTUAL wish was since i get it, even to me that writing desiction feels abit bittersweet to me in a sense thinking about it now, but i think that little moment was the best in that episode, how you dont have to help people that wont accept your help, also also this is just clearly to reel in people for a season 2, like people were overdramatic saying 'this is erasing all of devs development!' hold on you dont know that yet the last you saw him he got teleported back to earth

i think apart of this problem is that back when i was seeing predictions i saw seeing some really overdramatic and angsty ones, so i think apart of it is just people not seeing what they wanted to see fully considering this show is made for a younger audience and jsut works with a formula that isnt a direct story

theres also the quiet part that ill say outloud and ill keep saying it: theres some (UNINTENTIONAL!!!!!!!!! TO CLARIFY) white favortism going on imo, like theyll go oh sweet baby dev 😭😭😭 and then he gets crisitized ONCE and theyre like shes the worst ever . not to mention the very few people ive seen that say that dev shouldve been the protagonist (stares directly at the camara. you know why thats a bad idea right), and THIS is the only discussion ive seen more peopel talk about together that involved her, i dont think you guys are about her at all i think you guys just want a sponge to use for his angst, there are 30 other episodes you can talk about them i promise, tumblr dot com make a post about hazel wells that doesnt circle back to dev CHALLANGE FAILED

if you want something more general, then the whole 'who deserves godparent' discourse takes me out, i fucking LOVE chester ok but if you say he deserves a fairy godparent ur fucking lying, fairy idol exists, "OHH BUT HES POOR" doesnt work either

i think its REALLY funny how everyone who has that argument, mcbadbat local guy whos known to not give a fuck and loves how his life is, rag on hazel and chloe for not giving a fuck a loving how life is, like which is it do you have to be run over 20 times a week to get a fairy or can you get it for internal reasons make it make sense, i think you guys just hate female characters

[always-me-meha]

Manipulation. Trust. Document Proof. Bipolar mind problems.

This guy tho I love him to hell but the manipulation shit scares the shit out of me.

He has all the power to flip the script and I'd have to believe and trust him yenno?

But cause my mental illness I'm very..... convincable that this memory didn't happen or it did, or it went nothing at all like that. Or I'm just seeing shit, overthinking ect ect. Circle of trust is hard guys.

I'm not fucking mentally inefficient yet! Like yes my memory is messy..... and agh when in psychosis for a fact I do believe shit with confidence i am right, when indeed im wrong 🤦‍♀️

Besides that point, I'm not in psychosis. I'm a memory hoarder by this tumblr posts, messages, journaling, snapchat memories, videos and pictures in general and even items around my room. It's like I see it........ I can visually remember that whole moment if not day like, I'm back in time reliving it for the moment. So fucking weird. Could be something I forgot to never think of again and it's like oh!? You.....

Anyway anyway. Fucking caige man, pro liar. I think he's a good gaslighter as well ME ASSUMING FROM OBSERVATION and previous tactics he's used on me lol

I've never been stupid, just didn't fall for it till grrr the sexual attraction hit lolol now I'm fucked. As again this man I knew to be wary of sometimes (can't remember why... ah I think taking advantage for free weed all time back in the day, guilting me ect ect ect)

Like shit. It's scarey. Cause like the fact he still insists I came to him first when I know damn straight didn't go that way. Another example was yesterday he said I wouldn't shut up if I got my phone back that I'd start reading outloud lol. N sure shit I was reading he said, fucking lies! I made sure I was quiet as possible typing on tumblr. Not to bug him. I didn't speak till the sun came up and I let the dog out. But he'd be like you cooked ? You need to check your memory?

That's what fucking bothers me. Idk maybe his memory off to n that's fine we both brokey haha

Just I really hate someone trying to convince me something that I know the damn truth of how it went down. When I know I know (which is complicated when mania or psychosis gets involved.... even tho now I'm self aware enough it tricky to concince me. You can do minor tricks on me like moving an item in a different spot lol but yeah)

Like once again I document almost everything. So I can easily look through my journal or phone and pretty much bam evidence PROOF I'm right. Usually never challenge me on something I'm confident I know lol

Random vent to is when fuck he tells me not to worry about my mum over something if she never said anything, that'd piss me off, I know my MOM BEST. DONT TELL ME NOT TO WORRY OR PANIC lol

My point is I wanna have a faith and trust in what you're telling me is correct and I can be oh okay..... I believe you. But what doesn't sit with me is when in my gut I know this fact is not true.

God dammit caige. I'm only having an issue cause that was just yesterday you were doing it to me. What happens when it gets to the point I DONT REMEMBER he can fully control that..... I want a man that respects that part me sigh.

There was one time I argued with my friend if he got a new truck cause something was different lol I argued like hell, your bullshitting me, this isn't the same truck. Like I felt mind fucked. Sure shit it WAS his same truck.

So see people can be right...... but that's how easily my brain flips from I KNOW FOR A FACT OR MY FRIED BRAIN IS SAYING IT KNOWS .

I just scared my man will idk..... make me his puppet. Wtf bruh. I had this convo with about being his puppet. And I found an old of saying I was mums puppet. Ah shit balls, I think I'm dating a version of my mom.

[theperfectblonde]

Sorry I’m going to aggressively rant on main for a minute cause I don’t have a therapist atm and tumblr is the next best thing :’)

So like… I live with my boyfriend’s family. His mom his sister and his nephew. I’ve been here for 6 months, and I can’t STAND the way they live/think?? (Yes I’m already planning on moving out lmao)

But like his nephew is 10. He doesn’t wake up on his own, because he’s fucking 10 and he still needs an adult to help him... because he’s fucking 10. This is a concept they have yet to grasp, and believe him to be a fully grown adult who is capable of making smart and well informed decisions of his own volition (they tell him he should be able to do this, all the time). He doesn’t do any of that, OBVIOUSLY, because I can’t stress this enough, HES TEN.

His mom will come into our bedroom, WAKE ME UP (my bf and his sister are already at work in the morning) to GO WAKE HIS NEPHEW UP, and say that she’s been trying to do it all morning and he “hasn’t woken up”.

Their version of “waking him up” is calling his name ONCE from the bottom of the stairs. His mother, every single morning without fail, is SHOCKED that a ten year old isn’t getting himself out of bed. Wonders why he doesn’t get himself up and dressed and ready when nobody tells him what to do or lays it out for him.

And when he sleeps in?

THEY DONT SEND HIM TO SCHOOL.

ALL. DAY.

The school is LITERALLY 100m walking distance away, by the way.

And my bfs mom doesn’t entertain him - she watches tv all day and lets him play video games!!!

But he also argues with them - he’s like “oh it’s too late for me to go to school” and they BUY that??? Like!!! What kind of house is letting a fucking ten year old call the shots! They want him to make his own choices and well obviously he’s going to pick that 😂

And then he calls his MOM who AGREES (he’s late to school by ONE hour, by the way. A two minute walk away from the school). WHY IS HIS MOM SAYING YES TO THIS, knowing full well he’s bullshitting, that he’s not going to do his homework (because he never does), and then yelling at him for not going to school that day BUT BITCH YOU SAID NOT TO!!!!

What a miserable fucking existence. Like for me and for everyone else, but they create their own problems lmfaooo.

Like I feel bad for the kid and do the best I can, but jfc. What an awful childhood, to have nobody raising you, and then everyone yelling at you when you’re doing it yourself and failing and also not a fucking mind reader (because again, you’re ten, and what ten year old isn’t going to fake sleeping in so they can play video games for 8 hours all day instead of doing school?).

My bf says we’ll raise our children differently, but holy fuck man. Like just absolute brain rot from his family sometimes. A kid needs structure and discipline, but also guidance and help.

The thing that makes me angry though is that I have to hear yelling ALL FUCKING DAY. not only does the kid not learn (and I don’t blame him) but their solution is to just raise their voice to get his attention. They talk over top of me constantly. Llle it’s fucking ridiculous. You won’t parent your own kid and then want me to do the hard parts of it?? Like I have shit to do man. I can’t fucking sit here and listen to you yell at him all day because YOU didn’t try hard enough to wake him up. Like fucks sake. Never mind they the poor kid is bored, so then he’ll disrupt ME for an entire day. I can’t get fucking shit done man. I just have my fucking life here, and I can’t catch any slack.

Oh yeah, the reason why he sleeps in? Because he stays up late. Playing video games. Fucking ridiculous man.

[diah-the-demon]

yeah this really feels like we're somewhere on stage talking into a microphone as people pass by and can listen, but yeah agreed, it feels weird when it's not tumblr skljdlsk

ooh I hope you can go there then!! I've had one in my area for a few years that was star wars, star trek and doctor who focused and it was so much fun,, unfortunately with covid coming around it has ended </3 missing it greatly

and oh no D: yeah unfortunately the kids toys break so easily which surprises me ngl,,, you'd expect kids toys to be a bit more sturdy given that kids will play around with it wildly and ksljdslk omg that sounds adorable ngl!! I think I know which masks you mean, I still see kids wearing them every now and then around halloween or carnival

yeah,,, I've gottten a tiny bit better by now (and by that I mean: I will get it but feel bad about it instead of not getting it and feeling sad about that klsjdlsk) I hope you'll eventually get better with it as well! it's so sad how much stuff like this can linger on your brain TT-TT

yeah I think it said 7 more days, so I hope I'll have enough time bcs her shedule changed and now she's at work so I can't ask her TT-TT hopefully it'll last til the weekend when we could order it (if she says yes skldjslk I doubt she wouldn't but still skjdlsk)

okay, yeah, your bookshelf is definitely already cool! But yeah the helmets are going to make it even better, no matter where exactly they will be placed klsdjl

yeah you coudl probably figure it out on your own once you get the basics, even if it is for another set of armor at first! With the basic understanding that should definitely be doable!!

and hmm, I've not build armor yet myself (will have to do so eventually tho,,, I wanna cosplay one of HI3 Himekos battlesuits after all ksjdsl) but it does already sound like a solid idea!! but yeah until you know if it works or not you have an idea at least so that's a good start!

yeah im still not used to it but i think its quite nice to have smth like a constant conversation like this thats lasted almost a full day now jdsljkds, i think its a nice change of pace jdsklkjds

hopefully i can get there when its being held! im not sure when it happens each year but il look that up later and see if i can find dates (hopefully im not gonna be busy when it happens dsjlkkdsj) and awww that sucks, i hope they come back eventually it would suck if it died off forever </3

yeah idk why they were so fragile, they weren't big so i think they were probably childrens sized ones that we had, it doesnt make much sense to expect kids to not hit 2 lightsabers together in a duel like come on

IT WAS! i dont think i have any pictures of it sadly </3 i wouldnt have even had a phone yet probably i think so pictures would probably be on my mums phone

the mask was so cool, it even had a voice changer in it! it was fucking awesome, when you breathed it would replace it with the darth vader breathing sound AND it would even make you sound like vader when you spoke!! idk how something from when i was a kid was able to do something like that but it was awesome. sadly the voice changer in it died a while ago, it still slightly worked but not consistently last time i put it on D:

yeah hopefully we both fully get over it eventually, i probably start to until either her or i move out, but yeah its so weird how it stick in your head so long, i need to refresh my brain so i can get it out lkdsjdjsl

dont want to make you feel like you need to do it sooner but it said 7 days yesterday and also today.. i didnt check how long it was when i bought my stuff (i bought the stuff on the 5th) but it might've been 7 days still.. altho i guess by the weekend it would still be 7 days after that.. hopefully it is still on by the time you talk to her!! (just checked and it might be going on until they completely sell out?? its a clearance sale so maybe? idk id probably do it sooner rather than later just incase tho)

Oh btw when you do place your order they will email you to verify the card (send a picture of the last 4 digits to confirm. It is a little bit sus but ive seen no one say this one is a scam so i dont think it is, plus they cant rlly do much with only the last 4 digits)

thank you!! it will def look so much cooler when i get the helmets in! still need to figure out where i can put the 2 extras apart from ontop of the bookshelf cause too many on there doesnt seem too good idk

yeah that sounds like the plan il do for this, try the basics, might try doing clone trooper armour to begin with if its not harder than mandalorian cause il have captain rex's helmet! imagine a female clone trooper tho that'd be so cool (totally not so i can check out her tits shush jdskls, i mean there was a female clone of jango but she isnt a trooper, and is a child since i dont think she had the accelerated growth the others did? idk not that caught up in that bit of lore)

i think its probably what they are going to say to do, i doubt they would stitch/pin it right to the bodysuit cause that would be a pain to take off (imagine having to go to the toilet after putting it on that would be so annoying to take off skdjdslkj) if it all goes well il share the progress so you can take some tips on building the armour for himeko jlsdkdjs!!

[winderlylandchime]

The fact that he kind of dreamt your future fic is making me laugh so hard. He really is an idiot by day and a psychic by night. This also now made me excited for your future fic, can’t wait for when that comes around. I might fuck around and actually do give him fics to read ngl.

Also yes! When we first started watching the show, he did think that Gale looked a little bit like Ashton and it was the funniest thing ever to me. He did only talk about it in the pilot though. Btw I am so tempted to later on give him Gale’s out of the box interview to watch. He was asking me yesterday about the actors and if they still act and where are they and I didn’t answer because well, one of them abandoned his podcast so i don’t know what he’s up to and the other one we dont even know if he’s still alive since theres been no new photos. I do wonder how he will react when he finds out Gale is straight though because he mentioned to my neighbor and i did get the feeling that he thinks everyone is gay. So i am tempted to ask him questions about what all he thinks of the cast since his only introduction to them is the show.

And yes! He has been going on and on about Brian’s growth and how he’s changed since he clocked it around 4th episode. He is so happy that he’s growing and allowing himself to be happy and in love even if he doesn’t want to admit it, that i just know the second 5x01 will start, he will have a mental breakdown and it will be very valid of him.

Your celebrities/therapist story actually made me curious now because how can a famous celeb that is known everywhere, even get a therapist then omg. I had no clue this was kind of a thing. And yes! My brother would absolutely launch into it, he’d have pictures and everything ready for it. I mean his confidence when it comes to talking to everyone and anyone about anything in his life (usually interests and shit he’s done thats funny to him or in this case the show) is impressive as fuck but also for an innocent bystander like me? actually a nightmare to be around that. He truly doesn’t give a single fuck! He just tells anyone who will listen (not in a trauma dumping type of way but his interests and such? No shame) When he was in high school he made an entire poster presentation for his class to talk about his love for the movie School of Rock and HE DID IT BY SINGING A FAKE ROCK N ROLL SONG (id give anything to remember the lyrics). Mind you, the presentations was supposed to be about current events in the world and School of Rock came out like a year or two prior so it had no relation to the exercise and yet that didn’t stop him. So you best believe he would do the exact same for Gale or more importantly QAF/Brian. And as someone who does shy away from talking about qaf just because it is a lot, it is insane watching him talk about the show because he truly gives zero fucks. When we started watching the show, he was fully explaining to the nurses/doctors/anyone that would listen about how the show is AND HOW BRITIN MET! He TALKED ABOUT THE RIM JOB! I NEVER EVEN FUCKING TOLD YALL THAT! IMAGINE MY SHOCK WHEN HE RANDOMLY BROUGHT UP THE SHOW FOR THE FIRST TIME TO SOMEONE RANDOM! AND HE DECIDED TO DO IT BY BRINGING UP THE SEX SCENE! HE TALKED TO OTHER HUMANS ABOUT THE RIM JOB! So if you ever feel like maybe you’ve said a bit too much about something you like? Fear no more because my brother has for sure shared even more.

Dear sweet anon. I just signed onto tumblr on desktop and it looks like I never responded to this message?!?! It says it’s from 4 days ago.

I thought I did. I’m sorry <3 <3

I am still dying over all of this. Your brother has no embarrassment. Maybe we can all take a page from him (although don’t corner people at their place of work to discussing rimming, even fictional rimming).

[hogcranker1984]

baffled at how quick and easy it is to have mutuals on here. and like. how much overlap there is with different fandoms + interests + etc

tumblr feels so much different in comparison to other platforms because it hardly really feels like a competition. (when you're not trying to focus on numbers, reblogs, and attention)

RANT BELOW: READ IF YOU DARE

geniunely the amount of variety i've seen on here and the less algorithmic (in comparison to other sites) structure that tumblr has is such a breath of fresh air. instagram had made me feel like the veins in my skull were about to pop. twitter gave me anxiety attacks. with tumblr? i've been able to FULLY block shit i dont want to see by curbing my feed in a way that suits my interests. but not in a way that has negatively affected me.

the recent posts ive been seeing about how staff kinda has been trying to fuck shit up and make the platform MORE like instagram. MORE like twitter have been scaring the shit out of me. (i will never call that fucking platform X. not on my fucking grandmother's grave will i ever do that.) This is simply because i'm a lazy ass. i don't like using html. i'd have to retreat to spacehey or fucking neocities if this place gets more fucked up than it already has. Which, chances are, I probably fucking will LOL

idk why im going on this tangent. it's 3 in the fucking morning and our mom has a doctor's appointment. yet here i am, thinking about the future of the internet and how the big social media sites are sort of just. crumbling as we speak. everything has been riddled with ads or useless content spirals that take your attention away from shit that needs to be paid attention to. it's like nothing has fucking changed in this world. (of course, a lot of things have. but the chokehold that big corporations have on information and the media we consume. and people just take it like it's nothing)

for some reason that reminds me of the opening segment of the Sugar (SOaD) music video. "NOBODY IS OPENING THEIR EYES! COME ON! I WORK FOR THE SYSTEM!"

got to love the fucking. capitalistic system that is such a behemoth that even a song from fucking 1998 still fucking resonates now, 25 goddamn years later. the SAG-AFTRA strikes have really shown a huge incentive for change. i hope that other industries start strikes like these. they need to fucking happen. we need fucking CHANGE before we all wind up being completely unable to afford the basic necessities of a first world country. Even now, it's hard for people to stay afloat. COME THE FUCK ON. rant over, a lot of shit has been on my mind lately

[yurigalactica]

6,9,16,19,32,51,69,70 sorry for doing a bunch again but I rotate you in my head so it's super cool to be able to just. Ask things about you yanno. U don't have to answer any that make u uncomfortable ofc, but yea :)

don't worry jinx you're all good!! i love sitting down and word vomiting into tumblr it's very fun!! kicking my feet and giggling type beat yknow? 6. How do you want to die?

to be honest, the concept of death scares me to death (ehehehe you see what i did there???) and so i hope that whenever the time comes, it's peaceful. and i hope by that time i feel content with the outcome of my life and feel like i've lived it to the fullest.

9. Do you bite your nails?

nope!

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

to be honest? i'm fucking starving. i desperately need cheez its you dont understand how dire the situation is /j

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yet another one i think about a lot. if you asked me this question a year ago, i would have done it in a heartbeat, because back in my sophomore year of high school (coming back from quarantine) i developed really bad anxiety and coped by essentially shutting everything and everyone out. and after i came out of that experience i was so ashamed and embarrassed for so long that it left me sitting for hours in my room stewing in a sea of dread so thick that i could hardly swim. though now that i'm several years removed from that point in my life, i don't think i would go back in time. because even though i still wish i did things differently back then, i don't see it as a point of shame anymore, but rather just a thing that happened. a thing that i learned from. a thing that helped me grow.

32. What is your favourite color?

my favorite color has been purple ever since i was a little kid! though as i've grown up i've really come to love green as well :D

51. Favourite food?

i always have SUCH a hard time answering this question, so i'm gonna give a couple answers. for the first one i need to provide some context: a family friend of mine was born and raised in japan, and every couple of months she spends an entire day making authentic gyoza (think: potstickers) from scratch, and then invites my family over. and ohohoho, let me tell you, my entire family is in the car ready to go IMMEDIATELY when we get invited to those dinner parties. she is genuinely so talented and they turn out absolutely divine every time. genuinely a religious experience eating those

and another one of my favorite foods has gotta be acai bowls (i cant do the accent thingy i'm typing on my laptop rn i'm so sorry). i just discovered the magic and wonder of a fully-loaded, banger-ass acai bowl two months ago when i went on vacation. my family all went to the beach together and after a while we decided to head back to our hotel, and on the way there we happened upon a tiny little stand restaurant that sold wraps and salads and stuff that had the ingredients gathered from the farm down the street. so i got a wrap (and damn, that wrap was good, but that's not the point here). after i finished my wrap my mom went back and bought one of the acai bowls they had. not expecting anything special, i took a bite. and holy. fucking. shit. in that moment i ascended and knew that i had been blessed by apollo himself. that was a defining moment in my life. a core memory. a canon event, if you will. ever since then i have never hesitated to grab a nice cold acai bowl and load it up with granola, coconut flakes, chocolate chips, fresh fruit, dried goji berries and honey. it's so good. holy shit you have to try it.

oh and i like pasta too

69. Do you believe in soulmates?

i think i do. i used to think about soulmates a lot actually, and imagined that whenever i was staring up at the moon outside my bedroom window every night and wondering who my soulmate was the guy of my dreams would be doing the same thing wherever he was. but since then i've come to the realization that i'm not straight, and somewhere along the line i guess i just stopped imagining the soulmate scenario. i've never been in a relationship before, or even come close to being in one. but i'm moving to a new city next month, living on my own for the first time. maybe i'll finally find them there. fingers crossed

70. Is there anyone you would die for?

my little brother and sister, without hesitation. they're annoying, they piss me off constantly, and there's never a moment where we aren't arguing about something--but they're both genuinely two of my best friends. they're both several years younger than me, so i have seen the entirety of their lives. i've watched them grow up and seen them reach milestones that i remember reaching myself. i remember the little chubby-cheeked nugget phase that only exists in old photographs, and i remember the gradual change that brought them to where they are now: teenagers, learning more and more about themselves and the things they love. my little sister who grew up enraptured by frozen now loves my hero academia and has just started reading fanfiction, and i'm there to listen to her ramble about her favorite ones. my little brother who used to lie on the floor playing with hotwheels all day is now DMing his very own DND campaign in a sprawling universe that his friends built slowly over the course of three years. they've both come so far and i can't even begin to express how proud i am of them. i would genuinely take a bullet for them. but don't tell them i said any of this or else they will tease me to the ends of the earth.

[commanderquinn]

im quinn!! a fandom ancient baby-stepping back into posting because i missed writing. you can find the most up-to-date versions of my work on ao3, but i will Attempt to keep tumblr updated as well

this is gonna be a fandom blog for the duration, with the occasional ao3 links and such. if you dont want my personal/rant posts block #quinn speaks & #quinns rant tag. im a slut for that one-armed grouch, bucko barnes, so most content is probably gonna revolve around him. i do get distracted with other fandoms from time to time tho

and i do have a bg3 side blog

tag nav:

my masterlists/oneshots

metas ive written for fandoms AND metas written by others

the inspo tag for all my ammunition plot device needs

posts that are My Vibe

my favs is a junk drawer tag at the moment. i will eventually refine it into multiples

free serotonin (post abt my doggo)

my current writing projects:

-Good Space (12/40 chapters posted) / masterpost: a bucky/reader fic! reader is named (Ava) bc i cant write a fic that long without one. i need Something, but physical description is left purposely vague (well. okay. refs to ava being Curvy and having glasses, you're welcome to picture Whatever You Want). plot is fully mapped, it'll just take me a bit to write something That Big

-Kinktober '23: the posting has begun! ive mapped all 31 days and they're focused on my MCU canon that you can find in good space. i dont consider the end of october the cutoff. im a writer in this for Good Vibes, not a time crunch. all fics will eventually be posted

fandoms i vibe with/write for:

im not gonna sit here and list every single fandom i know bc i have adhd and that'd be a Bad Idea, so if you wanna know if im down to write for your fandom but dont see me blogging about it, you can go ahead and shoot me an ask. that said, here's the fandoms i like/intend to write for on my own end at the moment:

-marvel -bg3 -mass effect -dragon age -outer worlds -starfield -fallout

writing requests:

i am open to taking writing requests!! you're welcome to submit them through my inbox or you can leave 'em on posts. up to you how descriptive you wanna get. seriously, any detail you can think of, go for it. you're not offending me by getting specific by any means

Some Blanket Rules:

-you can ask me to tw tag my posts. you can ask me to tw tag my fics. you have, at all times, my ACTIVE ENCOURAGEMENT to try to make my work safe for you. im happy to help in any way that i can, you're NOT bothering me by asking to put up warnings for things, its okay bb.

-however. please try to respect that im still A Person With Feelings. more importantly, to you, i am a stranger on the internet. acting like you've got some weird kind of authority over what kind of content im allowed to post is Really Fucked Up. please keep that attitude away from me. id recommend a therapist, but that's your call.

-i can, and will without hesitation, block anyone at the DROP of a hat if i catch bad vibes. im old. this is my house. i will make it a house i want to be in, anyone who fucks with that is no concern of mine. im just gonna block you and move on with my day.

-this is an anti-fandom-wank zone. i. am. old. (im not even 30 yet i should really stop saying that but i AM) and. tired. i cannot begin to describe to y'all how much i do not care about an internet stranger's biased view of something. leave me alone. im busy writing smut.

-in this house we believe in comfort fic supremacy

[crispy-chan]

omg dude, i remember literally crying over your work “a story rewritten” when i first read it about a year ago because isekai stories are top tier mygod 👌👌👌 and your story is literally the first and only fic i found that goes under that genre. so i definitely made up my mind to take the time to find that webtoon you were talking about in your note.

anyways, i legit just finished chapter one of this newly encountered manhwa i am reading and holy god, all the emotions are coming back all of the sudden. when the male lead here turned into a zombie, i just knew i found what ive been looking for for over a year (even if i forgot about it after giving up after a week of searching lol). o m g, i need to read “a story rewritten” again just to emote about it.

idk why in the world i rambled so much but if you still haven’t remembered yet interested in its title, it s called “surviving romance” in webtoon.

since this is already such a long ask, ill just say whatever is remaining in my mind. i often recall “a story rewritten” in the most random times, usually in class because i get sleepy so much. so every once in a while, id come back to read it again. nothing beats the first reading though. i remember being overwhelmed and so emotional LMAO.

it kinda became a comfort fic and legit the sole reason why i would come back to tumblr every now and then. took a break from reading fics in general since december to continue my manga/manhwa spree. but your work makes me feel nostalgic so much, UHM IDK WHY THOUGH,,,,

i just love it so much omg lol. you probably dont remember but i believe ive also told you this in the past (i made an ask, dont recall what i wrote though LOL) you dont have to look for it, i just want to let you know how much of an impact your writing gives to me.

as a closing ehem, you might not know me but it s a fact that your stories never fail to make me happy. another fun fact, you were actually the one who introduced me to fic reading in tumblr!! LOL your “astronaut, ksm” and its sequel “serendipitous” was what got me reading here in this platform. you were the first fic writer i came across here and thought that “oh, are there more writers like jas that makes stories this good?” thats why for a good year, i came to appreciate and enjoy a lot of writes and of course, a lot more stories here in tumblr.

once i fully come back to tumblr, i would definitely catch up with your stories that ive missed for the half year. good luck and keep safe! you re doing a great job :>>

Hello, Anon. yes, i capitalized anon bcs i am truly at a loss of words rn. what hurts the most is the fact that you won't my see my reply to this ask bcs I took so fucking long to open my inbox.

i am an a-grade asshole. now that this is out of the way...

firstly, the fact that you cried over my stories :((( this always simultaneously makes me sad and warms my heart bcs I want to make people feel something while reading my stories and my fave fics are the ones I cried over...

i'm always surprised af to see how much love "a story untold" gets. it's pretty short and rather old but it seems to be some sort of hidden favorite amongst my fics lol. I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much <3 I teased a sequel but never got around to it lmao.

haha i can't believe you actually found the webtoon!! my acc reset so I never actually returned to it lmao. also had to refresh my memory and google isekai bcs it's been a few years since my weeb phase lol. now that you mention it, there really aren't that many isekai-esque skz fics, are there 🧐

also, this is so sweet :((( i'm honored. it's really nice to hear that someone remembers the fic and even thinks about it, I'm genuinely flattered. I'm so happy that it managed to make such an impact on you <333

akjsksjasj truly honored to know that you like to come back to my fics. i also awwed when you said that my stuff makes you nostalgic :(( like that's literally such a massive compliment and it makes me really happy!!

i'm also touched to know that my fics managed to impact you so much <3 truly, reading this ask was such a pleasure :(

i also can't believe that i was the person who introduced you to tumblr. that's really cool akjsksjsk and I'm surprised to hear that it was astronaut. ngl, that was one of my first ever fic ideas and I was really proud of it back then. the only thing i'd change now is that i'd make it a lot longer, which is why I've wanted to write a prequel (but probably never will lol)...

i'm so glad that you enjoyed my stories and were able to discover many more amazing people on this platform!! thank you so much <33

i truly hope you come back some day since I selfishly wish you could see my response <3 on the off chance that you do, please accept my warmest hugs.

feel free to reach out any time <3 much love :)))