#i dont think ive ever wrote a response this long

[vanilladaises-rp]

TattooArtist! Jungkook-🖕🏻:

Multiple days passed by between Jungkook and I, mostly due to the fact we both had full-time jobs and little time to reply in-between breaks. Eventually, we agreed on a restaurant that was nearby both of our workplaces surprisingly. It was a new restaurant that opened just a few months ago and the price was good enough for a first date. I didn't know if he wanted to go fine dining, so a small restaurant was on the safer side.

I decided to wear a dress in burgundy that had long sleeves, ended above my knees and showed my body off without showing cleavage at all. It was a figure fitting A-line cut, fitting for the weather outside as I grabbed a matching purse to put my essentials inside while heading out via public transport to meet up with Jungkook

We agreed to meet at 6PM right in front of the restaurant, I insisted, as I took the entire day to get ready with my attire and I didn't want him to wait for me awkwardly in my home. I couldn't sleep the night before out of excitement to finally start living my life outside of my monotonous lifestyle.

While watching couples pass by, I looked at the clock as I clearly was too early to get there by half an hour and despite wearing comfortable heels, I felt blisters forming due to the tights I'm wearing. 'I should've worn sock underneath, nobody would've noticed that!', I cursed myself as I looked at my phone mirror to check my attire and makeup.

"I look fucking ridiculous" Sighed the frustrated man, he'd be lying if he said this wasn't his first date, first real date at least. A date to Jungkook was going dancing sexually with some girl in the club or having a one night stand. That's it. So when you had agreed to have a restaurant date, the man was internally losing his shit.

"Dude, you're literally wearing a button up with some slacks, chill" Woosung rolled his eyes. It was secretly funny watching his friend unravel in a panic, it was like watching a clumsy teenage boy going on his first date. Even so, he still wanted to help Jungkook because overall this was a big step for his friend, "Now, put this on. No one wants to smell your aroma of cigarettes and whiskey"

The man had continued to help his friends prepare for the date until it was time to headout, "Just take it moment by moment, and don't make that "I'd be dead than here" type of expression you always have" Woosung joked leaning on the window frame of the car door, making Jungkook roll his eyes before driving off without warning.

On the way their, Jungkook felt his nerves increase as his body felt fidgety and uncomfortable. He was afraid of things not working out, but what scared him more was if they did. What would be his next step? How should he treat you? Jungkook didn't know the first thing about being a good boyfriend, yet alone starting a relationship.

Soon his gps had lead him to the parking lot on the side of the restaurant, parking close to the front. He sat with his thoughts for moment, debating if he should just drive off and forget all about this. No, he couldn't. Jungkook had already came this far, and hated to admit he hasn't been able to get you off his damn mind.

"Fuck it" He took the keys, turning off the car before locking it. As he began to turn the corner, Jungkook saw you standing there in a stunning dress, he shook off his nerves before making himself clear in your view, "I'd say you clean up pretty nice" He spoke with a small smirk, trying to hide the fact how nervous he was.

[foggieststars]

fic writer interview!!

tagged by @bright-and-burning & @fueledbyremembering tysm my beloveds <33

How many works do you have on AO3?

18 for f1... 3 on my other profile :0

What's your total AO3 word count?

183,098 and i'm really hoping to hit 200k by the end of the year.... i luv meaningless milestones... <3

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

let's be alone together

i'll always see great heights in you

what i go to school for

says he's gonna teach me just what fast is

hatred cradles you

let's be alone together got like absurdly well received and i am so grateful for it always but also. lowkey sad that i have probably already peaked in this fandom... also i had No idea hatred cradles you was so up there for my fics. wow...

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! i really really try to <3 if it's a shorter fic i tend to reply right away to comments but when it's a longer fic it may take me some time. i always want to reply to everybody though!

for some reason i'm really struggling to reply to comments on 'such murderous and vengeful desire' tho.. idk why i just got a lot of LOVELY long comments that really engaged with the fic and i always feel like my responses are so lame. but i'm really trying!! know that even if i don't reply right away i always see and appreciate everything <3

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

hmmm probably such murderous and vengeful desire like. i dont think this version of lestappen would ever break up but they certainly are sacrificing health and happiness to be together... but could they even be happy with other people??? i think not

to ME this is still a happy ending. but i've been reliably informed it made several people cry so like. i think it fits the criteria

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

most of my fics have pretty happy endings... even if it's not straight up happy it's still like. a promising ending because i'm a hopeful bitch... but probably my landoscar orgasm denial series off to the races has the happiest ending because. those bitches just love each other and being fucking nasty with each other and there's literally not even a smidge of angst because they just literally are in love and happy .

Do you write crossovers?

nope!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

when i was like 13 i had some dedicated haters on my harry potter fanfics </3 but not since those dark times lol

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeah i'm a fiend unfortunately... i don't really know how to categorise it tho sdlfkjsf... like i'm just big on smut. i guess ive written quite a lot of getting together smut... i'm also big on like. exploring embarrassment and shame and guilt during sex which i'm sure has little to do with my catholic upbringing

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as i know!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

god yeah. when i was 13... we wrote a self-insert fic where we kidnapped and ransomed one direction and it was titled stockholm syndrome. released PRIOR TO the song. i should note .

What's your all-time favorite ship?

all time favourite ship is probably like. legitimately percy and annabeth from percy jackson lmfao... also shout out to drarry <3

but within f1 it's lestappen in particular (in case u couldnt tell) but really any charles ships recently . charlos in particular has been really moving me lately. basically anything that involves charles has me :)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

ugh. winner's room wip.... i seriously think about them all the time :( i just don't have like the mental space for it at present.... but i really really really want to try and get it done. because i think it would eat. and i'd also like to experiment with chaptered fics!

What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm good at characterisation? and i think in particular i have quite a tendency to turn everything into a character study but i think it works well. idk though i find it very hard to like. praise myself with any sort of critical eye because as soon as i post a fic i fully forget what i even wrote so. <3

What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i suffer from talks too fucking much disease. like i think some of my fics could really benefit from being shorter and snappier and i am just not good at that sort of writing but it's something i'm trying to improve on... like i think some of it is just my style being a bit long-winded but i think in general i could find shorter ways of describing things and stuff :)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

not even once. i don't mind the occasional foreign language swear word or like phrase like il predestinato. but i think writing whole chunks in a foreign language is really ...... like. phew. like even if it's not terribly google translated i find it an inconvenience to go off and translate it myself...

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

it's probably a tie between harry potter and one direction - i remember stumbling onto both of their fanfic sites when i was around 11/12 but i genuinely don't remember which came first

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

choscar is my number 1!! i have ideas though and i'm excited to crack on w some of them :)

What's your favorite fic you've written?

i think it's the world was built for two ... like i just thought it was so bad and i actually ended up being so proud of it with distance. i reread a little chunk of it recently and was like wrow... i wrote this! whcih is not an emotion i am accustomed to feeling i usually avoid rereading my own stuff because i just reread it with editor brain on and think how i couldve made things better. but actualy like. i love girl charles and her messy beautiful bpd princess life and i think i did her justice <3

tagging: @liamlawsonlesbian @lovelylotusf1 @maaxverstappen @ninetqs @gayferrari @bumblewyn @1425fivefive @piastriachios @breathofnyx because i am as always so out of the loop and have no idea who's already done this :***** <3

[askmarshandbroflovski]

In response

((OOC

i checked this blog today to make sure it hadnt been deleted and saw a few things in the inbox. i want to clear up a couple of things. if this is the last post to ever hit this blog, so be it, but heres the endcase:

no, i decided not to make the end comic. i wrote this story nine years ago with someone i loved very much. it sort of became a net for my feelings about my loss and addiction. it was messy and weird and put a lot of my perspectives on display. ive been clean for two years now and i think its okay not to tie up this story with a neat end. like stan and kyle, i graduated and i got older and i have a career. thats all it would have been. i would have tried to ascribe some deeper meaning to making a dumb thing in high school, and i would have tried really hard to make it feel like the way things were back then were okay. i dont really feel like revisiting it. comics are hard. it took me a very long time to write and create something that can be read in maybe an afternoon. maybe you just had to be there. by following stan and kyle for as long as it took, you followed me and my coming to grips with being a person. really, this was just longform vent art about whatever dumb bullshit occurs to a high school junior. but i know it helped some people and entertained some other people so, i will be leaving it up. i just dont think ill ever slap a neat bow on it. my story wont have a neat end and neither will stan and kyles.

no, i wont end the craig blog either. i havent logged into that one in a while and i think if tumblr wants to wash it away thats okay. it was a way for me to reclaim some control over a narrative and maybe explore some deeper feelings (surprise, my birth father Also went missing, who knew) but it ultimately didnt amount to much. whatever happened to craig is up to you. my interpretation wasnt liked much anyway, and to have an askblog, you need people to be curious about the premise. i didnt connect as much with it and the frustration associated with running a project like that outweighed whatever i got out of it. i still dont know what that was.

anyway. i moved onto writing dnd campaigns and i am still alive. i still make art sometimes. i still get anxious when i see the inbox notifs, but these days, 9 times out of 10 its spam. i hope you guys all liked the south park post-pandemic aged up specials. i didnt, but im nitpicky and kind of bitter about the idea altogether. i havent seen an active askblog since 2017 but hey. be nice to people who make things. if you feel so inclined, maybe go make something for yourself. id like to thank the people who were curious and had fun here. id like to thank sekrit, neggy, rachel, five, ozzy and nadia. id like to thank everyone who let me tell my story. its just not over yet.

[destinysbounty]

HELLO i am in your inbox because your post about ninjago cycles made me drop my phone, ive literally been thinking about this idea forever!

around when i watched s8, i literally started reading the entire show as one big time loop because of all the repetition and cycles in the show. i dont know if that phrasing holds true, but i think the idea itself holds up

i think what really drives the entire cycle of the show is the need for balance. i interpret ninjago the place as created by fsm to be a reflection of his worldviews: dragon vs oni; good vs evil; light vs dark. the fact that the overlord keeps coming back, and his descendants will have to keep fighting him is a part of a larger system put in place (accidentally or purposefully) by fsm. when one person is defeated, a power vaccuum appears that HAS to be filled, usually by a new villain

basically, balance is the mechanism by which all these cycles come to pass. its kind of a law of physics in ninjago, good will always win, but evil can never really lose. everyone has to keep repeating history, personal and global because the world literally will bend itself in order to achieve that balance.

(i hope this makes sense i wrote it very quickly lmao) thank you sooooo much for bringing up cycle symbolism in the show,,,, once you start looking for it its everywhere!

(Here's the cycle post in reference)

Thank you for sending this ask! I apologize for the belated response, but I wanted to wait to respond until I had the chance to get ahold of some screenshots that would be relevant to this discussion. With that out of the way, let's get into the meat of the issue!

First off, you are absolutely right! I think the circle motif represents a few key themes: balance, as you mentioned; recursion; and inheritance. And all of those things, in a way, tie back into the show's interpretation of destiny and the way fate is baked into almost every aspect of the story.

Balance is the most obvious interpretation, of course, and perhaps the most compelling. Like, not just because the circle is by design an incredibly balanced shape, simultaneously having infinite sides yet at the same time only one. But also because there are so many instances of circles appearing in the way in which the balance between light and dark is visually represented within the series - especially with regard to the creation mythology.

(On an unrelated note, I think it's actually kind of a cool detail how the FSM is represented as a grey being - not Oni of darkness, not dragon of light, but something in between. The child of both worlds.)

The world was created by the FSM, and while I can't remember if it was ever outright stated, I think there's enough evidence to at least assume spinjitzu was used alongside the Golden Weapons to create Ninjago (I'm happy to elaborate on this if asked!)

On this note of balance, I also think it's worth noting the attention drawn to the splitting of circles. As seen above, with the creation of the Dark Island, but also with the Battle Between Brothers! Now, I'm definitely overthinking this, but bear with me for a sec.

The Monastery of Spinjitzu is, quite iconically, arguably circular in shape. Well, it's really more of a hexagon, but you get my drift. And the sons of the FSM, each representing light and dark, were friends for a long time. But when Garmadon finally succumbed to the venom's influence and was banished to the Underworld, a crevice was torn into the ground, splitting that circle - and likewise splitting the two brothers in the process.

And again! The Lloyd v Garmadon fight in sesaon 8! Despite loving each other very deeply, they have both been forced into conflict by the forces of destiny time and again. Lloyd knows the drill at this point. "I've saved you once, I'll save you again." The fight itself takes place in a circular structure - the Kryptarium Prison panopticon. Lloyd enters this fight assuming the established cycle of fighting and redeeming his father will be reinforced. But when Lloyd is thrown through the wall, thereby breaking through the prison's circular structure, so too is this cycle broken as well (and with it like half the bones in Lloyd's body as well as his heart).

And of course, we can't forget the most iconic example - when the FSM created the Dark Island, banishing the Overlord and his Stone Army for the protection of the world he created, the circular continent was split in two. The destruction of the circle.

The destruction of the circle is also how the Oni are introduced in Mystake's story - the dragon creates a circle, and the Oni destroys it.

So to recap: a circle is balance, balance is stability and unity, and the dissolution of the circle is the loss of stability.

That in itself is a cycle - creating something, destroying it, creating it again.

Kinda like the show itself, in a constant loop of the world facing ruin and building itself back up again and again. Like how the Overlord can never truly be defeated, dying and coming back like the ebb and flow of the tide. Like the snake eating its own tail, a cycle feeding itself endlessly. Like how a circle has infinite sides.

That's interesting enough as it is, right? Just wait! It goes deeper!

As mentioned before, the FSM arguably created Ninjago to some extent using spinjitzu. Spinjitzu, which is both a martial art and a lifestyle that utilizes circular motion to create a tornado around the user. The quintessential example of the circle motif. Spinjitzu is quite literally the foundation of the show's identity and worldbuilding. This show is, on both a narrative and a meta level, built on the concept of circles. And according to the Core shorts, one of its principle values includes balance.

Which, in the end, boils back to what you were saying about how cycles are a law of reality in Ninjago. I agree!

If I have my lore right and Ninjago was created through spinjitzu in some degree or another, then that means it was created through circular motion. The world was made spinning. The world was made as one big cycle. So to some extent, I do definitely think that good and evil must constantly fight. If the world isn't constantly repeating itself, if this cycle of recursion ever stops, then the world will stop spinning. And what happens when the world stops spinning?

Chaos, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Although, we also have to consider that the Overlord said "there will be peace in the dark". Now, since he is a villain and also the embodiment of darkness itself we should take his words with a grain of salt, but it definitely raises the question of what it would look like if darkness or light truly did prevail over the other, or if such a thing is even possible in the first place. Will there be peace in the dark? Or does the Overlord have an arguably more compelling motivation - that is, as an immortal being incapable of death, locked in an eternal limbo between victory and defeat, he knows that the only way this deathless hell will end is if the balance is destroyed and the universe falls to pieces. Maybe that's what the Overlord means by 'peace in the dark'. That theory has a lot of holes in it, of course, but I'm certainly intrigued by what that would mean for the Overlord's character. This might also hint at the origins of Darkley's, but that's a weird little tinfoil-hat tangent that we're not gonna worry about right now.

Now, I mentioned earlier that there are three main themes that the circle motif draws on: balance, recursion, and inheritance. And those three themes all tie into destiny somehow. So far, we've talked about balance and recursion - how history must keep repeating itself, how the whole world must remain in eternal conflict between light and dark or else the circle will dissolve and chaos will reign. But what about inheritance?

This is the fun part, but also a bit obvious. First, inheritance comes through elemental powers - not only because powers are passed on from person to person, as well as the legacies of those powers, but also because the elements of creation all tie back to the Green Ninja. They all manifest in him, and while the other ninja are capable of wielding those powers independently they all tie back to Lloyd in the end. Like convection cells but instead of circulating wind currents it's magical powers.

And, of course, I'm not the first person to comment on how elemental powers can be seen as a metaphor for generational trauma, and how each character inherits the legacy and loss of prior generations vicariously through their powers. Other people have elaborated on this idea far more eloquently than I ever could. But it's still worth mentioning in this discussion, so here we are.

And!! Then you've got things like the Yin-Yang Eclipse (which, imo, didn't look much like the Yin-Yang symbol at all. It looked more like a funky Z if you ask me). With Yang telling Cole to "close the circle" - the curse of the Airjitzu Temple requires that someone always remain behind as the master of the house. Yang needed Cole to take his place as the temple's new prisoner. He needed Cole to complete the cycle of inheritance. He needed Cole to close the circle.

And that right there is the base essence of this show, isn't it? Closing the circle. Completing the cycle. The sins of the father laid upon the son. History repeating itself. Repetition and recursion.

This all pertains to destiny in ways I hope are quite apparent at this point. The scholars in the Cloud Kingdom write destiny. They choose what happens. They designed the Prophecy of the Green Ninja. Perhaps they're doing all this, perhaps they're putting the ninja through all this trauma and suffering, perhaps they're creating this history and this world to be endlessly recursive, in an effort to maintain the balance and protect the universe from spiraling out of control. Or maybe they're just doing it to get their sick kicks. Who knows? We've only seen the Cloud Kingdom for like one whole episode so at this point who's to say.

But a bit more blatantly to the point, according to Lloyd in 2.12 "Return of the Overlord" the below images show the symbol for destiny. And what do you see??? Circles!!!!!!!! Circles as unity! Circles as balance! And in the latter image, circles represented through colors, which denote their roles in destiny and likewise the powers they inherited from their ancestors! It's circles all the way down!!!!

Oh and before I go, here's some food for thought. The Overlord once said that "destruction comes from the eternal struggle between light and dark." And Oni have the power of destruction. Garmadon, once he's reached his true potential, is powered by conflict. "It's the fight that fuels him." Which does seem to corroborate with what we know about the Overlord himself - as Misako said, "where there is light, there must also be darkness." Conflict creates darkness, and darkness creates conflict, just as light creates shadow.

God, I'm losing my mind over this. Balance is the struggle between light and dark. Destruction is a byproduct of this struggle. Destruction causes darkness. Darkness plays a pivotal role in the existence of the balance. The balance is creating itself. The cycle ultimately cycles back in on its own self. We've come full circle. It's the freakin' ouroboros! The snake eating its own tail! Endless consumption with infinite return! Circular motion causing its own endless perpetuity!! It's a fight you can never truly win but also can't lose, because the existence of conflict creates conflict, and without conflict there cannot be peace! You cannot escape from the cycle because you are the cycle!

So, to conclude:

Thanks again for the ask! <3 God I sure hope this rant made at least a teensy bit of sense.

[qprsmackdown]

what submissions have the most convincing propaganda: rather for being silly or being serious

hi anon. mod zazie here. i read through every single one of the submissions to answer this because i am insane. and the results are as follows ^-^

techno & phil fans are INSANE over "for you phil, the world!!" as they should be!! i, too, read bunfloras' phil & techno fics. but even if i didnt already know who emeraldduo was, you all have VERY GOOD propaganda. Immortal lifelong best friends... <3

dsmp fans i love you im holding out my hand to you in a gesture of friendship. hello. both mods are also mcyt fans and dsmp fans. we know abt characters vs ccs. we also despise cc!dream. you are safe here. im sorry that previous polls have traumatized you :((

c!tubbo/c!ranboo fans also fucking turned out you have VERY convincing propaganda

ive never read the locked tomb, know nothing of the characters, but to the submitters who sent in Camilla Hect and Palamedes Sextus youve convinced me. VERY good job. where can i find your media i need to learn more. no like fr

jrwi fans are you okay. good lord /pos. also youll be pleased to know WE HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO SUBMISSIONS OF THE GREATER MANA POLYCULE

to the etho/skizz fan who submitted an essay. hi. i think youre so right for putting them in a httyd au. very convincing propaganda. also are you okay.

hi silmarillion fans. do you need hot cocoa.

jrwi fans are literally so not normal about their guys. sorry to call you out but oh my god not a single one of you is normal /pos. its great.

not a fnaf fan but "Theyre also both canonically queer, if that helps. That has nothing to do with the lobotomies or the dying and being revived as a soulless walking corpse, though." is the sentence of all time. i hope whoever wrote that is doing well.

good evening to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck and ONLY to the homestuck fan who wrote jake & dirk propaganda so convincing that for a moment i wanted to go check out their media only to remember its Homestuck.

we've been over the jesus christ/mary magdalene submission but did you know apparently there's actual evidence to back it up? lots of it in fact? i did not expect to read that tonight (for future reference slash in case you're curious i am an atheist & cycad is christian)

the little women fan has some SERIOUS propaganda. my respect o7

hello to the autistic sp (south park) fan who wrote a genuine essay on kenny mccormick and eric cartman. wish you well (and like, we got a voltron submission as well. i dont know either of those shows/fandoms at all besides vague knowledge that they're not great but eh we're here to have fun. who cares (this is in response to you mentioning you didnt know if sp was allowed (i dont know actually youd have to ask cycad but im like 95% sure its fine (can you tell i have adhd))))

GIGOLAS FAN SPOTTED. they didnt write a lot of propaganda but HELL YEAH WE GOT SOME LOTR FANS HERE. theyre so qpr to me you dont even KNOW

i didnt even think about link/zelda being a qpr before this but you have convinced me. youre so right. they Are

besties who drink poison together STAY together!!! (merlin and arthur). fuck yeah baby!!! i have never seen merlin bbc

oh moirails are a homestuck thing i saw those in our asks and was unsure what they were

CANON QPR IN FABLE SMP? oh i need to check that out. fable smp fans ik this is a long shot but if anyone wants to give me reccomendations for where to start watching.

hiya qsmp fans. no need to worry you have turned out in both numbers AND propaganda. wowzers.

we have One submission for q!quackbur but now im wondering why no one has submitted c!quackbur. theyre literally homoeretic business rivals whose relationship could be viewed as platonic or romantic. smh

Roman and Youngblood from Roleslaying with Roman have very dedicated fans.

divorce quartet the divorced qp polycule ever but also im very biased. (both scott/cleo and scott/martyn were submitted multiple times)

we have some very fun ocs & real life qp relationships and im so here for it.

oh hey lifesteal smp i know those guys. wow damn theyre kinda fucked up arent they.

POLYARCHIVES SUPREMACY <3 BASEDBASEDBASED

POLYMECHS SUPREMACY ALSO SO BASED

Hi. Person who submitted both jesus/mary magdalene and now hamlet/ophelia. I love you. You are here to cause CHAOS and i for one applaud you for it. Can we kiss /j

[thatgirlwithasquid]

Questions for fanfic Authors

I was tagged by @rigginsstreet <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

43 however one of those technically isn't mine, i'm just put down as a co-author on it cause that's how me and my artist linked to each other in a big bang :)

What's your total AO3 word count?

277,010

What fandoms do you write for?

primarily stranger things. used to write a lot of harry potter fanfic but i lost my love for doing that sadly :/

if we were to look at my google drive though... so many different fandoms omg. i'll never finish most of those fics but i am so easily inspired to start something.

Do you respond to comments?

not as much as i used to. i keep meaning to get back into the habit of it, but i always overthink my responses to things and then after i wait too long i feel too awkward to do it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

thankfully no, i don't think so

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i'm open to the idea. could be fun!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

CUNNINGWAY! my girlies. i have written 14 fics for them and i will write more :)

What are your writing strengths?

lmao i dont even know anymore. maybe fluff? cute scenes feel straightforward enough to me

What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue. im bad at a lot of things but i always hate writing dialogue. every time it's like ive suddenly never had a conversation in my life. this is a feeling i get when trying to have a chat with someone irl too so it makes sense haha

First fandom you wrote for?

depends how we're looking at it. either WWE or Andi Mack... or maybe The Host?

tagging @medusapelagia @chickensoupleg and im so tired that i cannot for the life of me think of anyone else who writes fic lmao, sorry if you guys've been tagged already. anyone else who wants to join in is welcome to ofc x

[theroadtosomewhere]

Writer Interview Game!

Tagged by @azapofinspiration yippeeeeeeee

When did you start writing?

Mmmmm.... first story I wrote properly was in 2014, little primary school lad who got marked well on a story in class and it ended up on a lil notice board which little me was like oH. It was a 10 year old's excuse for a horror story but it does make me laugh to think that I went from that to wattpad within months, back when it wasnt behind a paywall. My first original was on wattpad in maybe 2016 and after that I was really into LoZ and BBC Sherlock so there was some fanfics there. My longest (unfinished) original story was built off a plot that I created for a LoZ fanfic and I was still very active in writing it up until three years ago, so there was a solid 6-7 years spent with that lol.

End of 2022 I started reading abt skk on ao3 without ever having watched the show (shoutout athena and moxie p sure i read some of yours first lmfao every skker ever) and started writing my first few skk fics without ever having watched the show OR read the manga. Before that though the thing that got me onto writing for/on ao3 was Narumitsu!!! my babes one day i will finish that first fic (blackmadhi yesssssssss if you wanna see my cringe from pre bsd thats it lol).

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

god..... too many..... its been a long time since ive sat down to read properly, and even during school i would not have considered myself a book nerd by any means (mostly because i was juggling time between school and extra-curriculars.)

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

When I was in highschool, my writing style (based on the original mentioned above) was compared to Marcus Zusac before I'd even read a book of his. That was pretty nice. Same with Neil Gaiman but that is too high praise for me to accept considering i now write either about gay lawyers or gay mafioso x ex-mafioso soooooooooooo. not sure any of that would come through in my writing these days.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Literally write wherever I can. In my room, at my desk, on the bus or train, during breaks at work and in class at uni (responsible i know). Wind, rain or shine, if i have an idea (or not even) i'll jot down an idea or vaguely edit something. The process is process-ing!!!!

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Hehehehehehehe......maladaptive daydreaming..........

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I LOVE THIS OKAY. SO. typical projection stuff incoming. I feel like most if not everyone has a highschool horror story and up until like a year or so ago i was like!!! it wasnt that bad!!!! (it was, emotionally at least). The aforementioned original story and its characters changed a LOT overtime lol. when I hit my last year of highschool, i'd had some time away from writing and when i read over it, it was crazy to see not only what my mental state had been through my writing, but to see my own coping mechanisms written between the lines before i even knew what they were/that i did them! Won't go into too much detail about that but I did experience dissociation and anxiety etc which I only began to address in my last year of school, so going back and reading it with a clearer head was like wow okay. that was real!

That being said! Hurt/comfort my beloved. The unloved being loved. Second chances. Do with that what you will.

What is your reason for writing?

Initially i started writing for fun, but during highschool as things got a little worse, i fell into the characters i created and i can look back now fondly and think...thank you. i still dont know if i want to touch the story because its one of the last things i have left from a time past that may not have been positive, but the experience of writing and developing the characters alongside myself back then is just sighs :') sometimes i miss that girl.

First for enjoyment, second as a way of staying sane, and now i'd say its a mixture of both. My writing is my love letter to whatever I'm writing about. I do love sharing too. Right audience and all that :)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I've been told that I can write particular characters' inner voices quite well, which is always a compliment :')

I think my own strength as a writer is also the weakness, which is to say that a project is never finished. Even when there's something out there and up on the interwebs for people to see, there's a good chance that if you check back months later, something has been edited or changed. I do have issues with perfectionism at times, but weirdly enough its not a negative thing when i apply it to my writing. I enjoy the process of seeing the stories i write change.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Good most days. I experiment quite a bit with ideas and writing styles/formatting so I will leave it at that lol.

Tagging @calmlb and @samtheboyfailure if y'all want :)

[anthraxplus]

I don't know enough about music to ask interesting interview questions, but would you want to like explain your artistic process for how you have made your albums? Like how long did they take to make, what's your starting point? this is a totally optional ask I just thought it would be interesting to hear about something you're interested in

ty for the ask! i feel like the answers to these questions are sorta hard for me to answer tbh because i really did just stumble into this, at least thats how it seems to me.

for baatmoia, id say it took me roughly 9 months to make from beginning to end, but i dont know when i really consciously started working on it. the concept of "making an album" was something i was essentially challenging myself to do, seeing as ive been making music for a long time and only sparsely released a smidgen of it under a different project. they were also the first songs of mine i ever wrote and recorded lyrics/vocals for, which was another challenge for me. as for the construction of it (continuous mix) thats just something i like doing with mixes - my favorite albums have A Flow to them, and i liked making it so that you couldnt have clean delineations between when songs began and ended. thats also part of my mindset behind obscuring my vocals so much, which in turn is just an expression of wanting to make an album that felt dreamy, hazy, ethereal, formless. thats also what i did for baatlnoyl, but for a different reason. i operated a lot on "vibes" for both albums since i didnt really have any other metric (and i still dont), which tbh i like because i think it helps add a very personal feeling to everything.

baatlnoyl is inspired by a dream i had, also took about 9 months(ish), and was directionless for a long time until i was a monthish away from my self imposed deadline. in this dream, i fell in love with a character of that dream and i woke up before i could really tell them. and after trying to use that dream for inspiration for one song in particular, i realized the idea fit with a sort of "call and response" i had noticed with everything else i had written (a lot of repeating motifs). so like, after 8 months of working on this, the album turned into a sort of nonlinear story about that kind of experience and what it would feel like for both people after the dream ended. i wanted this one to be noisier and harsher, but also more expansive in genre (the shoegaze/etc focus on baatmoia was also a self imposed challenge). technically speaking, a couple songs on here have been on my backburner for years, but they finally found a home here (most of it is still brand new material though). i still feel like this one isnt fully complete - i skidded into that deadline and i think it shows. im planning on fixing it up soon to hopefully actually make it the way id like to keep it.

im so sorry if these answers are like disjointed and rambling, its hard for me to explain because so much of the entire nature of these albums was "intuitive," doing something because i Simply Wanted To, because It Felt Right. if i tried to explain every component, i think itd very quickly turn into incoherent babbling. but thank you for the interest in how i make these!!

[knightzp]

3, 8, 11 and 21 for the writer ask game!!

3. name a fanfic/story you are particularly proud of writing

im proud of a few of my fics for different reasons but to name just a couple of them it would be:

the forgotten lyre: im proud of it bc of several reasons: its my second longest fic to date and i thought very carefully how to adapt the majority of the large enstars cast into this au so it has quite the worldbuilding. its by far the fic with the most number of characters (both main and secondary characters) i ever wrote in a single work. its also a fic i wrote for a fandom event and i was a bit unsure if i was going to be able to finish it on time with how long it was gonna be but i did it and i think it turned out quite well! and the whole process of writing it was so fun working with my bigbang team so yeah. this fic is very special to me and im particularly fond of it <3

every season is full of memories of you with me: im also very proud of this rtmo fic! the idea for this fic came so suddenly to me and it was so fun and surprisingly easy to write. i like this fic sososo much bc i wrote the characters as true as i see them myself and the fic also got such a positive reaction that it made me really happy and extra proud of it!

8.  how many wips do you currently have?

actual wips that i already started writing? only 2 rn. rough ideas i have for fics i do want to write in the near future? likeeee 8 :3

11. what’s something you have learned as a writer?

that i write for me and myself first and foremost. i do it to have fun and i shouldnt pay too much attention to the statistics bc the reception a fic gets depends so much on factors that have nothing to do with whether the writing is good or bad (like one example is the type of fandom. a bigger fandom means bigger audience and therefore usually a better response, and viceversa)

21. what’s your favorite writing advice to share?

ive never shared writing advice but ajksdfsk well if theres is something i can say is that if youre struggling with writing some specific part you can just skip it and come back to it later. this goes from transitioning between different actions or scenes or even whole chapters. you dont have to write everything linearly, if youre feeling specially inspired to write something ahead of where you are then just go and do it. ive learned myself its much better to jump and write what you really want to in the moment than wait, become stuck in a point and then lose inspiration and not knowing how to go on later

ask game!

[raysletters]

Fanfic Friday!

Rules: share a fic you wrote (or fan art or gif) that you are proud of! Moodboard optional!

Oh would you look at that? nobody actually tagged me, but im really proud of this fic and will forever be my precious baby and my first non canon compliant or canon adjacent fic.

peace by raysletters

"give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you"

4 times Henry gives himself away, and the 1 time Alex shows him how much there is of him.

lightly inspired in it's nice to have a friend and peace by taylor swift

(alternatively called: the superhero au)

this was written thanks to a prompt from @inexplicablymine for @thebrownstone anniversary exchange and ive never had so much fun writing something ever. it was in the middle of a writers block and i spent SO long thinking about it (mainly bc i cant stand the movie or a certain actress on it) before i remembered my aforementioned hyperfixations on both the bright sessions and the flash (at some point i hope somebody makes a tbs x rwrb fic before i end up caving in and do it myself, even though it would be very similar to this fic, now that i think about it).

(break where i give little information about this bc the research was long and incredibly fun)

after all of that, it was so long that i spent on a google rabbit hole of researching superpowers and thinking how would it fit each person (i KNEW before anything else that i was going to give bea music powers, and after that the rest followed) so it is funny how all of their powers correlate between family and stuff and i need everyone to know about this bc i really spent so long thinking of it.

you have the mountchristen line, that has the "mind powers", starting with mary (psyren) that has the powers to manipulate minds, but it is more like suggestions, so that's why alex and bea could shrug it off and how henry would be able to after fighting his usual response of like going along whatever mary said; then you have catherine (vis) that has telekinesis, aka manipulation of objects through her mind (dont ask me about the name this one was very much just thrown out there when i looked it up suggestions on google). thats where arthur (foxglove) comes in with his ecokinesis (this is more like controlling plants but not really with his mind but like hes in TUNE with the planet and nature ala poison ivy kinda thing(?) (also yes ofc i found out there is a PLANT called FOX-GLOVE and gave it as a name for arthur. that is something he 100% would do and i dont receive criticism for it) and starts the fox-mountchristen line with philip (no i didnt think of his superhero name bc even though he is a bit redeemed here, he doesnt deserve it) and his MANIPULATION OF THE LIGHT WITH HIS MIND. and yes its cool and all, but i just want to emphasize that i wanted them to be able to MANIPULATE PARTS OF NATURE WITH THEIR MINDS BC ITS A MIX OF BOTH CATH AND ARTHUR (sjfnakdjfkahdmfhansbfmahdm im sorry i thought of it while still blocked and thought it was absolutely genius 💀💀). then there comes beautiful gorgeous bea who doesnt have a pseudonym bc she's actually part of the agency trying to control that superheroes dont do crazy stuff (yes bc of mary) and shes a badass agent and also has a band on the side bc she CAN MANIPULATE SOUND AHFNSJHSSJDJABHSNSHAJS. and lastly theres henry with his empathy and this is something not implied but more like a nod to tbs bc henry's actual powers are the manipulation of emotions which MEANS HENRY IS BASICALLY INCREDIBLY FUCKING POWERFUL but since he really doesnt like all that superhero shit, he doesnt care about it. at some point in time, he might discover hes even able to push emotions into other people, but again, since that was a nod to tbs, thats just something for them to discover in the future and thats it.

on the other hand, you have the claremont-díaz line that is messy as fuck, because in this universe, ellen enlisted in the army like her father and she ended up becoming a super soldier, along the lines of captain america, and was called "lometa longshot" bc yes ofc i had to. so you see how she doesnt have actual powers but instead she just has everything ENHANCED????; then you have oscar, who has the ability to fly, (which, fun fact, was actually the last power i thought of bc the idea of it is that oscar had some power of MOVEMENT), and bc you have impossible movement and enhancement, you get beautiful june with her powers of teletransportation that allow her to be a badass reporter and always get exclusives bc of how fast she can get somewhere; and you get alex with his undiagnosed adhd and the fire under his ass for no good reason and then there was absolutely no other choice but to give him super speed (and has nothing to do with the fact that he, like barry allen, is a very intelligent but very chaotic bisexual with undiagnosed adhd).

nora is there vibing, being a tecnopath and having actual numbers on her brain while also planning to conquer the world and also become kind of an iron-woman(? in that she makes gadgets for superheroes and for herself. pez is also vibing and being so cool they even have two powers, being able to shapeshift AND mimic the powers of ppl near them. hes the actual threat in that if they wanted, they could absolutely conquer the world.

ANOTHER FUN FACT: this is fairly obvious but in the us the school is called sky high and in uk the school is called wonder school bc i couldnt think of anything else and my reference for names of schools in the uk is that wizardry school from that horrible book so like,,,,, yeah.

LAST FUN FACT I SWEAR: theres a list of classes and their kind of equivalents that showed up after i decided alex would absolutely never stand this hero/sidekick bullshit shsksjsksjsksjsksjsksjs it was fun even though im yet to grasp the concept of american education(????? (listen im dumb so like if you were expecting too much from me, thats on you)

Math → Strategy

Language Arts → Heroism (morality and stuff)

Science → Mad Science

Social Studies → World History

Foreign Language → Technology (Hacking and entering 💀)

Physical Education → Combat

Electives → Save the citizen, Enhancement (like practice your own powers and stuff), Origins (of superheroes and superpowers), Teamwork (something both Alex and Henry definitely didn't take 💀), Alter-ego Management

(im not kidding when i say i pasted it verbatim to what i had in my docs, bc theres nothing more chaotic than my outlines and ramblings on any of my gdocs)

im not tagging anyone bc i just noticed it is decidedly not friday anymore but i got too excited talking about this fic akdbdksjsksjAbssjakajsncjbsksdhdjsj anyway, go and read it if you havent shkssjkssjsksjsksjs

[ryndicate]

describe your moots in one word?

Oh shit here we go.

I scrolled down my following list so if we're moots and you're not here it's literally bc I probably don't believe you follow me bc I have set you on a pedestal of some kind. And if you're on here and we're not actually moots it's probably just because I really really like you and your blog 😅

@dark-mnjiro ~ psychic. Lee somehow knows what I like without me having to say anything, sends me manga panels that have me climbing walls when i’m on the cusp of zoning from boredom, and introduces me to characters that turn me into some kind of feral territorial creature howling to the gods about my love for a character ive literally seen two pics of. We went from non interactive moots not knowing each other to talking all the time on discord within a few conversations and now im like what would I do without this friendship? 

@knchins ~ supportive! We haven't been moots very long at all but you've been kind to me and my writing manic keysmashes despite the short time, but thats the vibe I've gotten! And you are responsible to turning my mind toward spoiled Reo brainrot, i dont think i will ever thank you enough for Renunion hehehe

@boosyboo9206 ~ safe. It's really easy to talk back and forth with you and i love the way my heart flutters when send me puppy pics and art of my favorite pairings because that alone tells me that you’re thoughful enough to be thinking of me, and I’m so grateful that you don't judge me for being so awful with communication lol.

@kingkatsuki / @kingkunigami ~ assertive. its like jo really has her own brand and always just seems so unshakable, has the patience to respond to the constant stream of blank blogs asking why they’ve been blocked like its not obvious already. i love knowing when i go to her blog that im going to see her being herself. on top of her fabulous writing of course, im on her blog more than its healthy to admit.

@killsaki ~ real. Every time i’m scrolling their blog i find something to either cackle or bite my fist about. Dal is my favorite blog for unfiltered thoughts about their faves and just their life in general. if we met in real life im dead certain they’d be a friend i could count on to call me on my bullshit

@cyancherub ~ vibrant. Everything cass does is done brightly with all of her love. Her interactions with her followers are so lovely and its easy to see how much she enjoys hearing from everyone. And I can trust her to put her whole pussy into any of her fixations, and her fixations are ~top~ tier. While you were sleeping is still easily my favorite thing she’s ever written, ive read it through like 4x and it still leaves me breathless with its characterizations, the descriptions that im not sure she was even breathing as she wrote them, the energy is so wild and intense, and yet how well thought out everything is on top of it! 

@iwaasfairy ~ talentedddd. Fairy is either making me wet with her writing or leaving me soaked with her art, living the life of being amazing at more than one creative outlet. I thank the universe that we’re friends and that she trusts me enough to send me the snippets that she’s working on and letting me howl at her in discord about how awesome her shit is. I get some of the first looks and I’m damn proud of that hehehe.

[draconixiaa]

tired but i'll do a bit of this (will be a bit rambly:D)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24,, wow not bad

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

165.5k wow thats a lot,, most of it comes from one tho; everything else are shortfics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DSMP and ive just started a bit of genshin at the behest of my Tartaglia-obsessed irl and he's kinda cool but like for 95% of my other fics its all cdream ahahahhh(dies)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

"Consequences" tops the charts obviously bc its my one and only longfic and it was written during the peak of dsmp and man id link it bc i love my storyline (cdream obviously gets messed up in prison but then gets a healing arc) there but at the same time i feel like the writing had too many grammar mistakes and could be better so nahh

"North Star to Freedom" is one im actually really proud of, like obviously the writing could be better bc ive improved, but i just like it and id deffo rewrite it too if i had time or steal it into an original fic (premise is that cdream escapes prison with the rebibe book and oh lord my lingo anyways (spoilers) he dies and he gives techno book)

"Persevere" is third, wow that's a long time ago, its alright, i like it in general, but it feels almost cheesy. idk. i like it, but i dont like it. its not mixed feelings, but eh. anyways, something about cdream getting captured by the egg which is about to take over the world but he sacrifices himself to cleanse it. the most acute thing i rember about it is that its a 3parter

"Coup de Grace" ok wth i didnt expect this to be on there it was a small little cdream suffering in prison and cphil comes over, sees him in pain, and cough relieves him of it, and i dont like the writing in a specific part of it, but i like it in some other parts, so eh

"turn the claret tides" whoops i forgot what this one was about ok i glanced through the doc its ctechno getting cdream out of prison wow that title was really vague but he gets the letter and things went on.. it was inspired by another fic and happened during the hype of the prison arc which is kinda cool

(man im looking at the amount of fics i want to rewrite but it aint happening sadge)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, most of the times nowadays, if it particularly made my day or it has something deep and insightful or literally makes any observation on my fic. sometimes im just too tired to answer,, maybe laziness is a part of it too, but i stare and its like,, i cant generate a response . but nowadays, i do it most of the times bc i appreciate my commenters :D

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my recent fics mostly have happy endings, but all my pre-like, mid 2023 fics were all sad sad sad. they all ended in cdream dying, one way or the other. so idk which ones the saddest now its been too long,, the one i personally think is the saddest is one that i like, was listening to sad music to, the song being 'sociopath,' an orchestral piece (or was it piano?)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

consequences

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

once on consequences bc that was max cdream apologists vs inniters era

9. Do you write smut?

nop never ever ever

10. Do you write crossovers?

dream + tartaglia is one i wrote in fudging october that i am still trying to find time to continue

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

prob not, if there is, then i wouldnt know of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, if there was, i also dont know of it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

wow thats crazy that i havent, but idk, teamwork and coordination just go meh when i only share my interests with online people

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk i dont do ships but my fav friendship is dream + techno or dream + punz

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all my chapter continuations except the tartaglia + dream one i Need to finish that. but also the palace of stone idea will Never Ever get written

16. What’s your writing strengths?

descriptions idk they go lengthy but ive practiced with them a lot so ive gotten kinda good

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, pacing, idk literally everything, i can prob improve on anything and every aspect of my writing rn, and i just need to practice more

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DSMP lmao

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

consequences i love the storyline + ending of that one even if the writing couldve been better

uhh tagging? idk if theres anyone that doesnt overlap wiht people whove been tagged b4 les see: @milktearosethorn , @victoriacoffee , ,, oh theres only two ok well, have fun if u decide to do this!

[letgraysonsheart]

Hello friend!! For the most recent fic meme questions:🌈🎀🎈🤲

hii! thanks for the ask <3

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?:

Hmm anything medical, which was the biggest struggle for the ric fic. trying not to go too deep into the medical aspect because i just dont know the field. I struggled with being just vague enough for it to be convincing but not dramatically wrong.

I also once wrote a drabble that focused on Steph and Bruce, which I struggled with because I write and read so little of the dynamic. I remember being proud about how it turned out because of that.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing:

Maybe not what the question is really about but: i guess im proud of how i always write what i want and when i want? Im not one to be pushed into things. I love prompts, dont get me wrong, but complaints or nagging wont make me do something. I also often feel like I can write a pretty good dialogue/speech.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

Ive been writing fanfic for a loong time (over 13 years i think) so while ive always been one for hurt/comfort ive certainly grown as a writer. My first fics was big on the self-insert Mary Sue stuff (cause i was like ten years old.) I havent written anything like that in a loong time, and im not one for OCs. I lean more into emotions now over actual action. I've been fairly consistent about how little romance and smut happens in my fics, because I've never felt good at writing that. I love some good old platonic or family angst., but the style changes slightly as I grow older and learn more. Nowadays I write a lot of long conversations, and tension building until someone (mainly Dick in my DC stuff) explodes. Currently, I seem to be loving writing some good bittersweetness and melancholy.

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?:

I often write stuff cause its something I want to read. At least thats what pushes me into writing and then it grows into more. I also love the feeling of suddenly being taken over by some creative spirit and writing pages on pages in one sitting. Its an amazing outlet for stress and emotions. AND of course, i love sharing with others and seeing people actually like it, seeing responses of «THAT IS YOU?» when talking about my fics online, and people appriciating what i made.

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

[newyorkkiss]

i saw your post! 🥄 we always seem to be up at the same fucked up times (well theyre fucked up in my timezone at least). i wanted to say first that i read your entire response to my last anon about how spoon never really blew up the way i think they couldve, & you were totally on point with everything you said- to a much more salient and coherent degree than my ask tbh. there are definitely Levels to it that i wasnt fully thinking on at the time, plus all the nuance with the fact that they were really underserved by their own label for so long!! really enjoyed seeing your thoughts, & still appreciating all your spoonposting a ton 🫶

idk if you remember but in my first ever anon i mentioned i had the opportunity to meet them that first time i saw them live through some random connections. they were nice! i remember telling them i'd loved their music for so many years, i remember being thanked and asked the "so what do you do" thing a little awkwardly haha. i was a depressed unemployed loser at that time in life so i just said "nothing" (also awkwardly) and then i do think it was britt who quipped something like "cheers, we're doing nothing tomorrow." then we took a pic. all this is to say i dont think its the worst idea in the world to try and meet them, theyre chill guys afaik- when it comes to whether they appreciate or despise unexpected fan interactions, you'd know better than me atp! i think as long as you dont hang your hopes on running into them, or harbor specific expectations to avoid ending up crushed if nothing happens and/or if it isnt what you had in mind, then i dont see why you shouldnt be open to it. but i also get if you dont think youd be able to keep that part of you in check, ive been there with stuff like this & avoided giving myself opportunities to be let down. you'll know better than i do the correct call to make for yourself right now, but hopefully my perspective is at least helpful <3

fyffgdgfdg i was high when i wrote that last ask i’m shocked you thought it was coherent… i’m not the clearest of writers when i tumble into a tangent – made esp. worse when i’m not sober. thank you for that lol.

and yeah i’ll take that advice on board. need to be rational and not deluded as much as my brain clouds me into thinking things etc etc etc !!

[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

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[daddyd0nt]

"Playground" was Saw Jr, it was a silly splatterpunk novel, the sheer over-the-top-ness is supposed to be humorous.

I love disturbing art, and my own writing is very disturbing. Ive literally been called a chomo and had my work labeled as CSEM because I wrote a story involving a clearly demonized portrayal of pedophilia in a horror piece about my own recovery from CSA. People who want to clutch pearls will clutch them until they are embedded in their skin.

I agree and i think most of the splatterpunk community would agree as well, nothing is off limits. Writing fiction is PURELY FICTIONAL, it does not reflect a desire to commit violent crime or mean you condone bad things, it is supposed to be a purge of all the bad shit bothering you so that you can lead a normal life (I have Pure O OCD and my intrusive thoughts are a lot more tolerable when i can direct them toward characters and not real people). You can write the most twisted, vile rancid, upsetting thing in the world containing characters with the worst morals ever held but as long as it stays ink on paper or words on a screen it is incapable of hurting anybody.

Adults need to take charge over what media they want their kids to expose to and also what media they want to expose themselves to. Adults are responsible for their own consumption of media and most splatterpunk books (especially playground) are well-labeled up front and most even contain a list of potential triggers. There is NOTHING immoral about extreme horror of splatterpunk. A lot of people don't LIKE it, which I understand, extreme horror is like black licorice most people hate it but if you love it you love it and theres nothing wrong with loving OR hating it as long as you dont try to force it on others or take it away from the people who Do enjoy it.

There is always that slight disappointment when someone you enjoy speaking to reveals a part of themselves that makes you go "Oh. I can't express certain interests around you safely. Good to know."

I don't think it would have bothered me if they just referred to that one thing as something that they didn't enjoy, or that it just bothered them very much. It's completely fair, their are entitled to feel uncomfortable about it. It's an horror book after all. But to go as far as calling the author a "Predator that just wants to portrait his fantasies. A CP creator. " felt...i don't know. Worrying? Wrong? It was like hearing someone call the author of Lolita a predator. Now the two books are very different, but they both have a goal: they are meant to make you uncomfortable. They are meant to be disturbing. And that's not everyone's coup of tea, hell is not even my coup of tea!

But still as someone who enjoys disturbing content (to a degree) and even speaking of the content i don't enjoy, i know the difference between fantasy and reality and especially i know that just because someone writes/draw fucked up thing, it is very unlikely that they are in to any of those things in real life. It. Is. A. Fantasy. That's the whole point of fiction.

I can't stand this idea that "Things shouldn't be written about" it's stupid, it's dangerous. It start with the obviously horrific and it ends with lgbt books and Anty Racist Books get taken out of libraries.

For me, is something is just a drawing or Just Words on paper, then i don't want to hear shit. No one is getting hurt. If you don't like it, look away and ignore it. Bye.

The Book i'm referring to Is Playground by Aron Beauregard. If you wish to read it i BEG YOU to look up the triggers because it's very intense

I don't intend to read that book because it's definitely not something that i can digest. But i stand to what i said. As long as it is purely fictional, i truly don't give a flying fuck.