#i dont think im actually that afraid of driving im just. afraid of my dad getting mad

[grrrrriffin]

Gonna get dressed up and practice driving by myself soon

[hirokiyuu]

ok here are my actual thoughts

HARUE SHIGIMA ILL HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH YOU I DONT CARE ABT YOUR HUSBAND I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY

i love when women are unhinged and i really really love that they were not afraid to give harue some massively fucked up sprites here. she was just. so. man.

her dynamic w/richter was one of my faves i really do think they should have an affair and this is not a joke. i think she should leave her husband for this dude over a decade younger than her who dresses like a cowboy and collects childrens stickers

speaking of harue having affairs. if richter had not been there when she n ayame were talking i think they shouldve fucked on the couch. wouldve solved nothing and probably wouldve made several things exponentially worse but also it wouldve been so good

non-harue thoughts. stella mentioned this but the fact that tsutsumi is a ogod dad to everyone except his actual daughter is so funny to me. expends all his emotional energy at his job and saves None of it for his family

he n erio are really really good. speaking of guys that should kiss on the mouth.

yakko and mio are also really good www i really loved mio i really like that she was chubby and it literally never got mentioned once. she was just mio who was a little gloomy and brave and surprisingly headstrong......... miochan.................

yakko/mio was also really good i firmly believe in mio>yakko at the very least and i think them dating a few years down the line when yakko learns women can be gay would be fun.

in general i really did like this game wwww theres a lot of things abt it i really liked in general. i really liked how they were not afraid to make the women as insane as they were, they really all felt like real people. also really appreciated that there were so Many girls u kno. all with internal motivations and flaws and drive........... they were all so good

speaking of women who were good. ayame....................... was so.................. unhingd and im fully obsessed. idk if i can ever see her n her dad making up in the good end when they dont have a way to literally see if the other person is telling the truth but i do think a fun fic would be her trying to connect w/her dad and also his decades younger boyfriend is there. u kno how it is

just in general....... good game wwww

SIDE NOTE WE'RE JUST LETTING NEJIMA RUN AROUND A HIGH SCHOOL? OKAY?

[pupuseriazag]

Tw: venting (mentions of death trauma, family problems, etc)

I think I am going through another episode like years ago, I have tried my best to keep myself stable and silence the dangerous and panic inducing thoughts but I dont know how much more I will be able to endure.

For those that dont know, I have major anxiety and phobia to death. In 2021 I had to be taken to a psychologist because I broke down in my moms arms, not being able to stop the constant storm of my brain making me panic about how one day Im not going to be here,that I could die any moment and I dont have a guarantee of whats going to happen after that... Its hell, its horrible I love living so much and I know I should already have processed the thoughts... But I cant man. I cant and its horrible to live like this.

I was medicated with anxiety pills (my mom was afraid I could get addicted to antidepression pills until months later another doctor actually prescribed them to me) and ever since I "became better" I've been feeling guilty to ask her to buy me more because I dont want to worry her more.

Before turning 18 I NEVER visioned myself getting to live 24. I cried the early morning I turned 18 because I just didnt knew what to do. I still dont know what to do.

Im at 24 and Im getting let down more and more by life. Situation at home is still shitty and I just... Dont see a way for us to leave here.

Its been 5 fucking years since we began searching for a home to move away from my dad (to clarify: my dad is not physically nor verbally abusive. But he is a cheater, a selfish person and emotionally manipulative jobless liar.) and we cant... We just cant. Everywhere expects you to be paying 400$ a month for a one room apartment or 90k for a home thats falling apart, we cannot afford to move to another departament because of my university and her job. Traffic from other cities like San Marcos, San Martin and even Mejicanos is just too fucking much. Its already too much where we live.

Even if I had a job, we couldnt be able to move somewhere better, we have been stuck here for 5 years, two fucking years taken from covid and 3 to try to stabilize ourselves after that (plus his medical bills after he got kidney stones riiiight after leaving his job, very fucking convenient)

We cant even move to my grandma's or my mom's sister's house. They live on the other side of the country and they have always been very vocal about being against my mom and siding with my dad. And even tho we have the support of some of my dad's sisters... We just cant move to their home.

Everyday I wake up here is like being stuck in a time loop. Every day is the fucking same and I just find a way to distract myself before being yanked back to reality, same with my mom. And you know the worst? I also have to be my moms therapist.

Im tired man, all of this is driving me crazy and the hopelessness I feel when I realize my position is just... Overwhelmingly sad. I hate this life, I hate the life I was given and I hate being brought to a broken family, I hate that my life could have been better if ONLY my dad was not a piece of shit cheating on my mom and putting HIS family side before us, I hate that things could have been so... So much different if only he was a good person. Im not strong enough to continue pretending its not affecting my mental health, no wonder the intrusive thoughts increased these months... These past days.

I feel miserable, I feel worthless, I feel like everything is not worth it. I have insomnia until like 4 am and I panic when I cant find anything I can listen to so I can get some sleep. I havent been able to draw because I dont feel its worth it... I have only been able to distract myself playing and going to uni.

And even putting my family problems aside, I still cant find joy or hope. National news and seeing how this country its being turned into the gringos/politicians playhouse, how even if my life was "better" Im still in danger for being a queer afab person. How people still have blind faith in a fascist regime and money runs lower and lower for the working class meanwhile they proudly announce the inauguration of gentrified beaches and zones of San Salvador, displacing markets and historial establishments to put a fucking starbucks and other multinationals to be more gringo friendly while zones like Apopa and Soyapango are heavily militarized and the police can just say you are linked to the gangs to abuse you.

On top of that coming to terms that I may not end up working in anything art related and having to accept thar if I ever get a job Ill have to rot in an office, seeing how even tho I want to stay away from the norm I feel forced to join it... And that also means having to ""accept my prewritten gender role"".

Everyday that passes feels as if life will force me to live as a straight cis woman or otherwise I will just have to accept being alone the rest of my life.

I know Im being too negative right now, Im letting out how I've been feeling because lately its just been... Too much. Last night I even had a small disagreement with my mom because Im just not in the mood for being her therapist during this we're dealing. I know my dad is an asshole and I know hes using the few money he has to pamper his other woman instead of helping with the bills, I already know he tries to lie to us and acts as the victim. Its tiring to go through the same conversation about him everyday.

So yeah, back to my life... I just wish for some peace you know? I wish for a house where I can actually see the sky from my window and not worrying about at least my family problems. Srry for the sudden emotional explosion

[rotisseries]

important for plot, scotts house got a drive by. and his mom was shot, and mason, and scotts dad, and lydia. so liam's upset because even though scott and liam and malia are werewolves and can heal from gunshot wounds THERE WERE HUMANS IN THE HOUSE. AND THEY DIDNT CARE. and also liam is just like. mad. thats his pack, his family his best friend. next time we see liam, hes pushing gabe on the floor in the locker room at school and gabe is like "i dont know anything i swear😰 i dont know what happened at scotts house" liam know he lying, so he picks him up by the collar and hes like "did you know who was there? DID YOU KNOW MASON WAS IN THERE?" "no no i didnt know anything . i Dont know anything." liam turns him around and smushes his face on the mirror over the sink. "maybe you havent noticed lately, but ive been having trouble controlling my anger, when things happen to my friends i just cant seem to help it." and gabe is like "no liam wait please" and hes like "I just get so ANGRY" and the mirror starts to crack by how hard he's holding gabe's face against the mirror. ans gabe is like "stop liam wait please" and blood is starting to drip on the sink and hes gripping the edge of it. and liam just presses harder and hes like "you think imma going to kill you?" AND WE CAN SEE THEO SHOW UP IN THE MIRROR BEHIND LIAM. its all cracked and weird but its theo and his annoying ass crossed arm stance. liam doesnt notice him yet "You think we're all killers? maybe we should be." and theo pipes up with: "you really gonna kill him?" and we can see liam turn around, surprised, and all of the blood thats dripping off gabe on the mirror and how much pressure liams applied because its all spiderweb cracks. and theo goes "i mean... idc if you do.🤷 but have you thought this through?" and liam turns back to gabe. "any idea where you're gonna dump the body?" ans it cuts to gabes HORRIFIED FACE NOT REALIZING THEO IS ACTUALLY INADVERTENTLY TRYING TO GET LIAM NOT TO KILL GABE. "but no one saw you grab him .. did they? cause that could be a problem." and liam pushes gabes head further and says "i dont care." and theo shrugs and says "i dont care either. but at least let me help. im the one with experience here. if we kill him, we'll have to find the witnesses and kill them too. which meannss we're gonna need shovels, some plastic bags, maybe a chainsaw..." GABES HORRIFIED FACE AGAIN😭😭 ans liam gives gabe one last push before he lets go and gabe falls back on the ground. liam looks up at the cracked and bloody mirror with his fangs out. and you can tell he already feels terrible. for even considering it. for even considering being the monster he looks. and immediately the anger melts away ans he softly says, "you made your point." two things of note. THEO DOESNT FUCKING GO TO SCHOOL WHY IS HE THERE. DID HE JUST GET A LIAM SENSE. LIKE OOPS MY ENEMY TURNED KINDA FRIEND IS ABOUT TO MAKE A BAD DECISION AND HIS ANGER IS OFF THR CHARTS LEMME HELP??? also love how he was like. lemme help with the murder, ive got experience😎. other thing if note, when liam first became a werewolf, scott told him that being a werewolf doesnt mean he has to be a monster, it doesnt mean he has to do bad things he can still choose to do good, just like when he was a full human. just thought i'd tell you. scott would be so disappointed if he lost his anger like that and killed someone. and he just cant stand that. he was so afraid of his parents finding out about his werewolfism because he was scared they were gonna look at him how they did when he wrecked and keyed his coaches car and got diagnosed with IED. he was so scared of that look in their eyes. of being looked at like that. 

personally I think gabe shoulda died but maybe that's just me

[multitrackdrifting]

some writing notes on my ishigami video

it's nice that akasaka aka points out that kaguya is very different to when she was the "ice queen" (hayasaka says this early on), and one of the first serious chapters with her that isn't about shirogane is helping ishigami study

she knows he's not lazy or disinterested because he's stupid and incapable of learning, but because his foundational learning was disrupted by his absence from middle school due to being unable to write an apology

she recognises that his games and stuff are a distraction to his studies, which is like, yeah, she is right about that since he has treated them as a crutch to bide his time.

she sticks up for ishigami to girls gossiping about him and tries to beat him into shape by helping him study every single day so he passes and recognises how the rumours, the distractions & his ethic that result from that stop him from doing well - while he doesn't magically get straight As, it's apparent that with the right support he could start to study better and while that seems like "well why does he have to? people have different strengths"

ishigami used to be athletic (being the fastest runner in his year), and while he wasn't a top ranked student or anything like that, his traumatic experience in middle school and the rumours that resulted from it definitely drive his disinterest with studies to be far worse than that. which is why having kaguya in his corner for numerous exams is so nice cause while she cares about defeating shirogane in exams, she doesnt place that desire above the real possibility that ishigami could fail to graduate and while he doesn't need a job or even money because of his dad, it also means he would be even more isolated and unable to connect with people his age. everyone is talking about their futures, their grades, their exams, and ishigami is more or less absent from that kind of idle banter

studying is a pretty social activity for some people, they make study groups for exams, chill at study hall and whatnot and idk, ishigami is barely involved in student life in the beginning so going from studying to avoid failing, to joining a club, to actually trying to enjoy his days as a kid since he's still only 15 (16 by the time the seniors graduate), he starts to appreciate it at the perfect time

when it comes to ethic and stuff like that i think people are quick to call others lazy and stuff cause of our preconceptions about them, but ishigami would still be worth helping even if he had no trauma or history that made it difficult to learn i think.

i think that the way that things are structured arent suited to the needs of people who struggle to learn, and the ways that they can catch up aren't even like actual failsafes built into schools and universities either. that you can't really catch up and succeed in school if you miss any classes and get someone's notes or something means that if you sit outside of the social structure of it, you are just doomed to fail if you miss anything at all and have nobody to ask and your professor is unhelpful about it

idk, that arc was really nice and im glad it expands to ishigami gradually becoming more motivated to study, not just to impress his crush, but because kaguya believed that there was hope for him in his academics where he had more or less all but given up for three years.

you dont have to have good grades to have self-worth but its more about integrating back into school life that's really hard for him - you don't really have to reconcile it with your beliefs about school as an institution for getting a job cause that's not really relevant to his personal circumstances. ishigami is rich, he don't need a job, he just wants to overcome his inferiority complex and trauma to just, have a normal school life. its not about what comes next per se, but making sure that the life that he lives now is one where he is not afraid to do things. whether he comes to regret what he does, it's much worse to live a life where you never take risks and just resign yourself to the box people shoved you into

he talks badly of normies and people with success in romance, clubs and academics because part of him wants to have the courage to do the same but its just easier to call yourself human trash and joke about killing yourself a lot for him.

when he talks about miko during the elections, he expresses how much he hates it when people talk shit about people who do their best like passion is something you can laugh at, and internally, he recognises this is hypocritical when he joins the cheer club that he dismisses their passion as bullshit so he puts himself in uncomfortable situations to start walking the path to becoming the fucking goat

most things that will help you grow are excruciating, long-winded habit building exercises that will help you endure in the long run and that's why it's so fucking cathartic to see him continually take steps to better his life as things go on

he doesn't magically get rewarded for making his life one that he feels proud of, but in doing so, he experiences the rewards of coming out of his shell and moving from self-deprecating introvert gag guy to someone with better emotional expression and ability to connect with others, someone who actually knows he doesn't deserve to live life in isolation, without antyhing to be proud of. he doesn't just get handed unearned Ws, he has plenty of fumbles and awkward experiences, but to be able to endure that and keep living with his head held high surrounded by people he confidently calls his friends is just pure kino

[cripple-cat]

screaming into the void about my personal issues for a moment

i know how to be independent

i am repeatedly prevented from being independent

i love my mom but her love for me is still tied to me being unable to live without her, which hasnt been true since i was nine. her boyfriend thinks i dont know anything about the world and cant think or do anything for myself because im disabled and his girlfriends kid. when i lived with my dad before he threw me away like fucking garbage, i was almost entirely supporting myself and my pets because he absolutely refused to support me. i paid that man rent. i am an adult man.

i am repeatedly prevented from being independent, and then villified for not being independent.

i am grateful that my mom is supporting me while i get my degree, but i never asked her to. she has always wanted me to get a college education and now i am, and it makes me dependent on her, therefore she loves me. shes not even paying my tuition or anything actually college related, she made me take on student loans, and i will be saddled with that debt for the rest of my life because she was unwilling to let me work for a couple years while letting her foot the bill for me for everything else so i could save up. i have a life-long debt that i will never pay off because of her need to make me dependent on her.

i didnt learn to drive from either of my parents. my dad is a shitbag, so i obviously didnt learn from him. my mom screamed and panicked and struck me in the chest because she was so afraid of me driving. i only drove with her three times before i just couldnt safely do it anymore. the only other time i drove with her was the first time i drove on the road. it was in a fucked up that couldnt accelerate past 45mph, could not hard brake, had no rear view mirror, and had a steering wheel that had to make two full turns before the tires would even think about turning. she was spasming and possibly having a stroke in the passenger seat. we were moving to a new place. it was traumatizing. i learned to drive through trial by fire with one person who doesnt know how to drive and isnt licensed and another person who was drunk 90% of the time. i didnt need my mom. she was the reason it took me so long to learn to drive and is still the reason im afraid to drive on the interstate.

she doesnt take care of my pets unless im not home for whatever reason, which is almost never, because she has made me dependent upon her for transport. i have to take care of her dogs a lot because she and her boyfriend keep forgetting to feed and water them at the right times. i clean up after them, i feed and water them, i take them outside. the only thing i dont do with them is play because i fucking hate dogs! i have to take care of dogs when i hate dogs!

her goddamn boyfriend keeps acting like im incapable of doing things until the moment he thinks something should already be done and im clearly the only one who can do it, even if im busy with something else. this is a man who did not know you have to use hot water to wash dishes, so clearly he just cant understand the concept of "im busy right now, ill either get to it tonight or tomorrow." he gets flustered and frustrated and starts yelling in the kitchen and slamming doors and doing things with excess aggression the moment i specifically inconvenience him. if its my mom it doesnt matter, but if its me he throws a tantrum. im the problem in all situations.

i have not been allowed to heal from any of my trauma because im held resoonsible for the feelings and trauma of others. when my mom has issues, i have to fix them and keeo her distracted and help her process and make her feel better. when her boyfriend has issues, im expected to suck it up and be gentle and understanding with him. when i have issues, im met with "weve all got problems, its not getting you out of this" or "youre not the only one with problems, im having a hard day, too" or even "no, youre gaslighting me." have you ever been gaslit by being accused of gaslighting? it is a bad fucking feeling.

im exhausted. im a disabled person, yes, in many ways, but i would not be dependent on anyone if i were allowed to be independent. i dont want to live like this. i cant fucking live like this. im so, so tired. this is the most coherent ive been in days.

sorry to anyone who reads this.

[winderlylandchime]

WE ARE ON 3x07! 1/2 *pauses tv on Brian getting head and looks at me* ‘how awkward do you think this was to film? Like i know it’s a job but what if…he actually gets turned on?’ (This is the moment where I actually thought about telling him Gale is straight but went against it to not “ruin” the magic) *starts ep again* ‘oh shit, Ted is in deep shit isnt he? THIS IS BULLSHIT!’ *ethan pops up, he pauses the tv and smacks his head* ‘OH COME ON! There’s no escaping this fucker is there?! OH WAIT JUSTIN DIDNT TELL HIM HE SAW HIM? nevermind. i forgot Justin can drive. Why couldn’t he ever drive Brian’s car? WHY DIDNT HE TELL YOU? WHAT DID HE SEE? OH THOSE ARE THE WORDS OF A MAN TERRIFIED THAT HIS BULLSHIT ROMANTIC ACT IS GONNA BE EXPOSED! Oh he was a muuuusic student? bro be fucking for real. Justin sounds like HE is jealous? Dude. Bro. You’d have a stroke if someone mentioned Brian right now. (ethan says fans will think he’s sexy) Oh god, I’m actually afraid that if i roll my eyes one more time that theyll get stuck.‘ ‘FUCK YOU COP BOY! HE HAS A SON! Dude, Gus’ dad is literally every parents nightmare when it comes to role models. BRI WHY WOULD YOU BRING HIM TO LIBERTY! HE IS LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE PLACES! How can he not realize this is bad? I’m sorry but he isn’t dumb, so this is all bullshit. There is NOTHING to clean up at liberty. He’ll whip his ass? Oh he’s gay for sure’ ‘I think I should give Ted a lesson into how to talk to your mom on the phone. We have a lovely relationship! I tell her about my recovery and Brian and how Justin is stupid for leaving and she tells me to go fuck myself and then asks about my day and tells me she loves me. It’s perfect.’ ‘Sooo instead of talking to his boyfriend and being like either you stop drugging your tushy or im out, he’s making his best friends ex boyfriend draw him? Mike, be honest with me..where were you on the day when the good lord was giving away a brain that worked?’ ‘WHY ARE WE HYPING UP ETHAN? WE HATE ETHAN? Why did we never hype up Brian! HUH DEBBIE?’ Mel said shes not most women after she had a negative pregnancy test ‘you’re right, “most” women dont annoy me this much. And “most” women would go to the sperm bank instead of the best friend of the previous donor that they oh so hate’ ‘BRIAN! God i hate that car. OH TEDDY! (brian says hed sue if he was ted bc of the photo) Remember when he said he’s gonna sue that guy for saying he’s 31? That was funny. And a better time. Lets go back to the coupley brian and justin. I miss that. BRIAN WHAT THE FUCK?! TED IS YOUR FRIEND! WHAT IS GOING ON? Tell me how did he plan on driving with snow all over his peanut car?’ ‘DAPHNEE i love her! DID YOU SEE THAT FACE! SHE HATES THAT KAZOO FUCKER JUST AS MUCH AS I DO! COMES FROM LIVING WITH BRIAN?! FUCK YOU JUSTIN! Bri didnt cheat! He wasnt sneaking around. You knew cause he told you. How are you gonna blame him for that? THANK YOU DAPHNE HE WAS HONEST! I knew you and i would get along! Now give me Jen and Daphne and Brian together! Oh my god Justin, who are you trying to convince that you love him and arent worried he cheated? Me or you?’ ‘BRIAN! It’s my boy Brian! Working on a homophobes commercial. This is pure bullshit! He would never. EMMETT AND BRI BRI! Why is Brian suddenly such a horrible friend to them? What is going on? This isn’t normal? THATS RIGHT EMY TELL HIM! He DOES care about his friends even if he acts like he doesn’t. I feel like Emmett is the only one who can kinda scare Brian. Bri Bri, this is bullshit why are you doing this to me? He’s just a little lost because of Justin. I’m sure of it, right? *looks at me all scared*’ Stockwell and Brian are currently in a steam room ‘oh this is the first hetero steam room he’s been in, huh? exactly Brian! Help Ted! Oh this dude is for sure gay. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS GIVE ME ETHAN AFTER BRIAN?!’ HE THEN PAUSED THE TV TO GO ON A SMOKE AND I WAS ACTUALLY ANGRY BC THEE SCENE IS UP!!!

I feel like Emmett is the only one who can kinda scare Brian. <- YEP

I am just going to present this without comment because my comments are all "yes" and "right on" and "exactly."

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[heartofholland]

tom recs <3

hi guys! here is a fic rec list i made of all the fics i’ve loved. personally, i consider myself an avid fic reader so i have read a shit ton of fics. these are just my highlights. let me know if you want more like this! and if you do end up reading any of these please make sure you REBLOG them to spread the goodness. these writers work their ass off and deserve all the credit in the world. enjoy! <3

SERIES

riding my by @worldoftom this fic is barely started but i love everything this writer puts out. very smutty, very hot. innocence kink check!

breaking curfew by @wazzupmrstark ASSHOLE TOM! my weakness. enemies to lovers but make it FWB. what I wish my summer camp was like instead of my thighs sticking to chairs and lice outbreaks.

eighteen by @angelic-holland corruption/innocence kink! basically all smut but damn do i want bad boy tom.

the situationship by @fairytelling can’t say enough about this fic. the definition of falling in love with your best friend. if my relationship isn’t like this i don’t want it.

happiness is a butterfly by @blissfulparker soft mob!tom and they’re forbidden soulmates! updates are WELL worth the wait!

i only feel you by @stuckonspidey the first time i read my watch thought i was working out for how high my heart rate was. shit keeps you on your toes. there is a sequel fic but just a heads up you will want to unstan tom on multiple occasions.

make me love you by @mrs-hollandstan frat boy player tom turned soft. mans does a whole 180. fuck dom.

perfidy by @peeterparkr couldn’t be more obsessed with this fic. they’re both so fucking stupid but too afraid to get hurt. also the social media posts are so fucking cute and crucial to the story 

eloped by @worldoftom getting married to tom in the most beautiful vacation spot? sign me the fuck up

you. by @txmhoelland i think there’s definely worse men to be set up with as a PR stunt.

erotas by @farfromparker i have definely read this fic for more days than i’ve been on this earth but every time i lose my goddamn mind

dare you to move by @starksparker-archive the best version of FWB tom is when you’re his roommate…

gone by @dahliaspidey this one… hurts. but i just know it will bounce back.

take me out by @angelic-holland warning this one is really dark. like serial killers. but it was so fascinating i am completely obsessed with the psychology of it all. jake is featured and please don’t imagine the mr. music the entire time like i did </3

single all the way by @heyhihellowhatsup0 i read this whenever i need a lil christmas pick me up

sweetener by @keepingupwiththeparkers cute awkward relationship. it is so real i feel like it could actually happen to me.

ex on the beach by @heyhihellowhatsup0 THE ANGST GIVES ME LIFE

SMUT

bartender by @t-o-m-holland tom happens to own your favorite bar. your subtle flirts aren’t working. the banter between reader and the fam makes me wish i didn't have social anxiety.

siren by @rosyparkers don’t get me wrong i will scream ACAB til the day i die but police officer tom could definitely get it.

best of three by @mrs-hollandstan one of the 3000 threesome fics i have saved. imagine not getting one of the hottest men but TWO.

roommates by @hollandbaby what a coincidence we both want to fuck each other! this checks all the kinks my man. i’ve read this probably no less than 100 times.  

that was that by @moorehollandplz dom!tom but something flips and he’s never been more gentle. mans got both sides of the playing field covered.

know your enemy by @angelic-holland short but sweet. hate sex is always hotter behind the scenes.

wasabi by @angelic-holland literally everything about alice is phenomenal but this is on of my faves. when i read this it makes me feel smarter. also body shots.

say good night by @madmadmilk this writers work never fails to blow me away but this time she managed to encapsulate my entire life. (minus the execution with a very hot and experienced best friend).

buwygf-ib by @hholyholland just ignore tomdaya for a sec and take in the hottest dom!tom i’ve ever witnessed.

cocky by @sykoxartist yeah he’s an asshole but he’s your asshole. at least that’s what he thinks.

sovereign by @farfromparker sub!tom is so hot. man will beg for DAYS.

summer vacation by @kidney9-9  when is hate sex ever like…. not hot as fuck?

ride by @tomhollandsstan face riding. period.

coincidence by @starshinebucky actor!reader and tom fuck… at least they’ll have good chemistry next time.

skin by @hollandbaby dom!tom is not ok with being a sub. unless it’s for you.

you can bet on it by @kiwi-bitchez all of this writers smut makes my pussy throb. this is my fave. just wait for the twist.

a rose blooms by @cornacopicimagines prince!tom drives me wild. but wait til he finds out you’re not a virgin.

begging by @raewritesfiction tom makes you beg for it.

self reflection by @stuckonspidey this is actual proof tom has a praise kink.

minor inconvenience by @angel-spidey toms an idiot but at least he can get you off.

flesh by @starshinebucky cocky tom kills me.

keeping him nice and warm by @marvelouspeterparker mob!tom the gif itself to sends me.

after hours by @cornacopicimagines never had sexual tension with a teacher but this will do.

ANGST

josslyn by @multiharlot messy situation but reader handles it like a champ. if your heart isn’t broken enough, the last line will make sure it’s unfixable for days on end.  

moral of the story by @kelieah listen to the song while you’re at it to make your cry sesh take a turn for the worst. 

cherry by @xoluvx this one hurts real bad. so does the song. 

a complicated love story by @samhollandssweaters an emotional rollercoaster for real.

he dies in the end by @allfandomxreader ignore the title and just cry your eyes out with me.

eighteen by @fancyxholland you’ll be confused why it’s in the angst category but trust me.

all the lies by @peteywillproceed getting cheated on but the girl is toms gf, how do you tell him. 

memories by @nycparkers i sob to this whenever i need a good cry. 

don’t be a fool by @nycparkers breakups that dont end messily make me so fucking jealous.

FLUFF

kiss currency by @madmadmilk borderline smut. confused and oblivious harrison. dialogue inspires me to talk to males.  

plank all over me by @waitimcomingtoo FILRTY TOM! THE BANTER! i really am a whore for well written dialogue. there’s additional parts but i won’t spoil.

 playing cupid by @marvelobsessedteenager you set everyone else up but wait a damn minute how did you forget about tom?

 little flirt by @webslinger-holland oh to flirt with tom while he’s sweaty from intensely dancing for the lip sync battle.

pour it out by @rhapsodyparker i don’t know what it is but famous!reader going on talk shows or having interviews and they ask the reader cheeky questions about tom might be one of my many kinks…

hubby by @t-holland2080 it’s the small things that make me want to bawl my eyes out for being so lonely.

going live by @redrebecca the dialogue makes me cry of happiness! tom doing a live (what a concept).

paddy’s crush by @tom-holland-is-spiderman jealous tom but of his younger brother.

 wannabe by @sailingintothenight the cliffhanger at the end demands a second part.

flawless by @missnxthingg  tom is a simp.

you and me by @sunshinehollandd best friend tom makes me soft.

dick appointments. web shooters. the duality of a man. by @porterporker  it gets a lil steamy but man is “web shooter” a funny name for a dick.

best day by @thollandss dad!tom gives me baby fever even though i am a virg.

 tom asks your dad by @blissfulparker can i just skip through the bad boyfriends and just marry the love of my life already.

baked chicken by @waitimcomingtoo there isn’t a category for awkward but if there was this would be in it.

lover boy by @starshinebucky  tom being so oblivious you like him that you need to call for backup.

afterglow by @wickedholland i wish someone would treat me like this when im drunk instead of leaving me to hold my own hair back.

[happytroopers]

Boba Fett season finale shit post

Spoilers below. Obviously.

Rip hot twilek your 6 minutes of screen time will be duly forgotten

WAIT THEY KILLED MAX REBO

Fuck the Pykes man

I can tolerate space drug trade but I draw the line at killing renowned jizz musicians

God Fennec Boba and Din in one shot now there’s a sandwich I wanna be in

Many thoughts and yet none at all just sin

Not them trying to redeem the mayor

“I have an idea to draw Fett out.” I’m sending g that there’s the inspo for a new WAVE of self insert fanfic

XWINF

Luke coming to help his boy toy???

The child????

YEP

That’s artooie:)))

THE BABY

Wait can he drive

Me and PELI are on the same page

HES SO TINY

BRIGHT EYES

R2 s like we’re on a SCHEDULE

ME TOO PELI ITS A TERRILBE NAME

WAIT DID BE CHOOSE THE SRMOR

Is he dropping out of Jedi school

If so I’m gonna have to start kinning baby Yoda

Goth Wookiee :)

Someone’s gonna sneak up on them

Din stop being so sexy

God boba in his armor is so sexy

This is the showdown we wanted in clone wars

Star Wars-issficstion of southern idioms

Ok but two of them are wearing beskar and u are not

Boba said “no 💖🖕”

Why do I feel like fennec is gonna take the brunt of this

Fennec being the sexy voice of reason as always

“Ur going soft in ur old age” as if Bane isn’t fucking ancient

I love my little beuqacratic wiggler

Yep just as I fucking thought

NOT GOTH WOOKIE

I don’t appreciate them ripping my found family trope to pieces

So that augmented eye is very helpful to his aim huh

Not the water waste

God I love her

SHES SO SEXY

Lil punk said lesbian panic!!!

The only woman I would call Mommy

The last time Din got trapped in a blown out bar, it didn’t go well

We love a loyal bestie

More self insert inspo “I’m with you til we both fall”

WIGGLER SAYS I DONT WANNA DIE HERE

NOT THE EDUCATION ELITISM

He said I’m not afraid to pathetic

Is he not gonna read that first

What if it just said “fuck u losers”

Yay space slurs!!!!

Pls be inappropriate

“Nothing 💖”

Creative writing king! He wrote that so fast

Jet pack hotties

INLOVE THE KNEE BLASTERS

THE SLUT TURN DIN J LOVE U

Overkill a lil boys???

DIN WHY ARE TOUSING HR UNARMORED HANDS RO GAUARD UR BESKAR HELMETED HEAD

Awww yay :)

Can y’all imagine like living in this part of town??? Just like, trying to get brunch, and this shit happening.

No the moped!!!!

YES CITY FOLK COUNTRY FOLK FISCORS

Disapproved dad says save it

GOTH WOOKIE

Din’s thighs :)

Oh no

Hey maybe we should start shooting now

Yes start shooting now that they put their RAY SHIELDS up

Ahhhh clone wars nostalgia

Goth WOOKIE said show off

Well that was a waste of a missile

Quick mafs

“You’ve run out of friends” me too boba

God I love this man

Both of them actually

Hey maybe let’s not just run in a mobbed straight line guys????

There is one droid chasing you and approx 60 of y’all

Slutty lil spin there

Din is so fast ????

FHE HAMMER TBDKW

Bonk !!!

She’s gonna show that baby and dins gonna be like “YOU BROUGHT MY SON INTO A BATTLE ZONE????”

I fight usually leads to dying

They’re in love

THE IMMEDJATE FARHER PANJC

FBE HUG ONG Y’ALL IM CRYING

HES SK HAPLY TENDER AND SOFT I LOVE HIM

Fave dilf

HE CAUGHT HIM

Not the tooth!!!

YES YES YES YES YES

Zillow beast vibes

Boba lemme sit on ur lap while you ride

NO NO NO

ok that was hot

Remisnent if genonosis Kenobi

YES BABY DO UR THINK PROTECT HR DAD

ARE U OK

Boba u are so hot

They’re in LOVE

But fr fr city x country makes the best pairing

Imagine if that was ur house

Boba I demand reparations

Who is the lil pretty boy we keep seeing

NO BO NO NO NO

Not mysmotinal support space beast!!!!

They’re gonna date!!!!

Wiggler x PELI!!!!

YES INWAS WAITJNF DOR ONE OF THEM TO GET EATEN

I doubt they’ll kill off Bane. But liek…. What if they did

Also that’s ANOTHER problem for the city

HOODLUMS

HEY YO

Mmmm Jango ment

Just grab his little face tubes

YES STICK STUCK STUCK

Oh maybe they will kill him

Makes since tho he’s like OLD OLD

He’s wAs old in Clone Wars

Oh nvm he’s def not dead

STOP SOOTING HIM

Ok now for a King Kong parallel

NO NOT THE BALL

ok that was hot Din

NO NO NO NO

KID

HIM LITTLE WADDLE

HIS EARS

HIS EYES

How to train ur dragon parrlell

CLONE WARS KENOBJ PARALLELL

HIM LITTLE HANDS

NAP BUDDIES

Found my new screen saver

Yay decaptiated heads are back!!!

They should hire a tourism director

YES FENNEC FUCK IT UP

So sneaky :)

NOT THE REN FAIR MUSIC

Rip to the ham guards

THE TAPS

truly encapsulated what having a toddler is like

I LOVE THEM

Is there an end credit scene

Just realized that in the choral grunting they’re saying Fett- I’m an idiot

Yep end credit scene

I swear if it’s bane

COBBY BOY

Boba quit modifying ppl without their consent!!!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[strangerthingsharrington]

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-22-

The three of us sat in silence for the most part. Too afraid to talk because of the realization hitting us that the monster was closing in on the group at Starcourt.

The pain in my body began to catch up with me. Every inch of me was in pain, but especially my neck and arm. I looked down at my arm and the saw the deep purple bruise. I stared at it, wishing for it to go away. Wishing for me to wake up from this insane nightmare.

But if this nightmare hadn’t happened...then I would still look at Steve as the douchy king Steve version I had built up in my head for so long. And I was so happy and relieved to know that wasn’t the real him. At least not anymore.

“It’s gonna heal,” Dustin said.

I looked over at my brother, seeing him looking down at my bruise as well, “What? This?” I asked, moving my arm slightly.

He nodded and looked at me, “I know,” I told him, “doesn’t make it suck any less.”

He sighed, “I’m...Lou I’m really sorry for getting you involved in this.”

I shrugged lightly as I brought my knees up to my chest, “I would have been more upset to be left out...again. I’d rather be involved and know and help keep everyone safe, then just be sitting at home not knowing how much danger everyone was in.”

He kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds before looking away, to the tree line near Starcourt.

“I never told you anything to keep you safe,” Dustin began, “if something happened to me-I mean that obviously wouldn’t be good, but at least mom would still have someone,” he told me as his eyes began to tear, “dad just-he left her and us. And it sucks. It really does,” he said with a sniffle.

“By keeping you out of the loop, I was-ya know...trying to make sure that mom didn’t lose absolutely everyone in her life. I wanted to keep you safe and make sure that if something happened,” he stopped and looked to me with tears ready to overflow, “then at least you’d be okay and still here with mom so she wouldn’t be alone.”

My cheeks were damp with my own tears and I shook my head, “I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that, Dust. I appreciate you looking out for me, and I’m here now...and I will do anything to keep you safe. Anything.”

“I know, I just wish this shit wasn’t life or death,” he shrugged.

I grinned at him and wiped my cheeks, “We’re in this together, Dustin. All of us,” I added, looking over to Erica who had been watching us silently, “we’re gonna be good,” I promised.

Erica nodded once to me and looked away, not before a tear slipped down her face.

“Bald eagle has landed!” the panting voice of Murray Bauman came through Cerebro, “repay. Bald eagle has landed.”

I breathed out a laugh and looked to my brother who was grinning as well, “Holy shit, it’s gonna work,” Erica said, with a surprised edge to her voice.

“Come on,” Hop growled through the radio, “how much longer?”

“I dont know, I’ve never done this before!” Murray responded harshly.

The three of us again sat in silence waiting for Murray or Hop to give us the good news that they had gotten the keys. The sooner they got the keys, the sooner this would be over, then we could make sure everyone was okay.

I was hoping that Steve and a Robin had made it to the mall alright and nothing had happened to them while driving.

My heart rate started picking up just thinking about something bad happening to them or to anyone. It was like Dustin said. It really was life and death here unfortunately.

“Get ready lovebirds, you’re almost up to bat!” Bauman announced.

I felt the adrenaline begin picking back up in me. I stood up and walked the few steps to the edge of the hill and looked towards Starcourt. The lights were still flashing like crazy.

I started pacing back and forth waiting for something, anything to come over the radio.

“Lou, come back and sit, your legs are probably killing!” Dustin told me.

I shook my head, “I’m fine,” I insisted since I truly couldn’t feel the pain in my body anymore.

“Lou sit back down!” Erica called.

I shook my head, “I can’t, I’ll sit when we know Mrs. Byers and Hop got the keys.”

“Murray?” Hop questioned aggressively, “Your goddamn code is wrong.”

“What? Are you sure?” Murray responded.

“Yeah im sure,” Hop responded back.

“Well-I suppose it could be wrong...”

“How could it be wrong?” Hop shouted.

“The code is a number! A famous number. Planck’s constant. I -I thought I knew it,” Murray explained, tripping over his words.

“Shit,” I whispered to myself continuing to pace back and forth, “shit, shit, shit, shit.”

“Lou, you do know Planck’s constant?” Dustin called to me.

I looked back to the mall then back to him quickly, “No, I -I used to but not anymore.”

I looked back to the mall, as if I was expecting to see Steve and Robin arriving in one piece. I couldn’t focus on anything without knowing they were okay. I should’ve gone with him.

I knew in my heart that Dustin and Erica would be okay. I knew it and still believed it.

“What are you doing?” Erica asked loudly.

I looked back at the two of them and heard the static of the radio channels as Dustin moved through them.

“What are you doing, Dust?” I asked, taking a step towards them.

He looked up at me, “Trying to get the number for Hop!”

His hand stopped moving the radio knob as he settled on a different channel, he brought the microphone up to his lips, “Suzie do you copy?”

Suzie.

I walked over to them and dropped to my knees next to Dustin.

“Will she know it?” I asked him.

He looked to my with a grin and nodded, “She is one of the smartest people I know...if anyone knows it off by heart it’s her.”

“Suzie, you do copy?” he repeated.

“This is Suzie! I copy!” a sweet voice came through the radio, a pleasant change from Hopper and his angry tone all the time.

“Suzie!” Dustin said happily.

“Dusty-bun?” she questioned.

“Dusty-bun?” Erica repeated, disgusted.

“Where have you been?” Suzie asked my brother.

Dustin closed his eyes, “I’m so so sorry. I’ve-I’ve been really busy...uh, trying to save the world from Russians and monsters.”

Suzie giggled on the other end, “Of course you have!”

“Get the goddamn number!” Erica scolded loudly.

“Who was that?” Suzie asked, sounding worried about hearing another girl on my brothers end of the radio.

Dustin looked over to Erica angrily, “It was-huh I don’t know actually. I think it was just interference,” he said almost questioningly looking over to me.

I nodded and motioned with my hand to keep going.

“So why don’t we huh...change frequency to fourteen point one five eight?” he suggested.

“Copy that, changing frequency. Standby!” Suzie responded eagerly.

Dustin changed the radio to the frequency he told Suzie and sat back waiting for to talk to him again.

He looked at me quickly, “Everyone else is on this one...then they’ll be able to get Plancks constant right from her,” he explained.

I nodded, “Nice,” I said approvingly.

I looked over to Erica and she looked irritated beyond belief. She looked at me and raised her eye brow, motioning between Dustin and the radio. I shook my head, and brought a finger to my lips to make sure she knew to keep quiet.

I loved her sass, but we needed this number to save everyone. And the only way to get it was through Suzie.

“Dusty-bun, you copy?” her voice cut through the static.

“I copy Suzie-poo,” he smiled.

At that I’ll admit I almost lost it and started laughing. But I composed myself and calmed down.

“It sounds so much better now, thanks,” he told her, he cleared his throat, “Okay so listen, do you know Planck’s constant?” he asked cutting right to the chase.

“Do you know the earth orbits the sun?” she asked back as Dustin chuckled with a head nod.

“Okay so I know it starts with two sixes and then a...what is it?”

“Okay let me just be clear on this,” she began, “I haven’t heard from you in a week and now you want a mathematical equation that you should know so you can...save the world?”

I grimaced. I couldn’t help but agree with her. If Steve...or anyone hadn’t talked to me for a week then called me randomly for a reason like this...I’d be a little upset too.

“Suzie-poo, I promise I will make it up to you as soon as possible,” he pleaded.

“You can make it up to me now?” she suggested.

My brow furrowed as I looked to my brother who looked alarmed.

“What?” he questioned.

“I want to hear it,” she said.

“Not right now,” he said immediately looking to me.

“Yes now Dusty-bun!”

“Suzie-poo, this is urgent-“

“Yes, yes,” she cut him off, “you’re saving the world I got that the first time. But Ged is also saving Earthsea and he’s about to confront the shadow, so this is Suzie signing off.”

My eyes widened and I smacked my brother roughly on the shoulder motioning to the microphone, “Wait wait wait!” he called into the microphone, giving me a dirty look, “Okay! Okay!”

He took his finger off the button and looked ahead, “Shit,” he murmured.

I rolled by eyes at his attitude. What in the actual world could she be asking him to do that would make him hesitate getting the number that would unlock the key that would finally close this gate?

“Turn around, look at what you see,” my eyes widened and I looked to him unable to form any words.

He looked to me quickly before looking away awkwardly, “In her face, the mirror of your dream.”

Erica and I made eye contact behind Dustin’s back and the shear...dismay on her face was unmistakeable. She really did look utterly disgusted with what was happening.

Dustin was singing the theme for The Neverending Story. Over a radio. To his girlfriend in a different state.

I was more confused than anything.

“Make believe I'm everywhere, given in the light. Written on the pages is, the answer to our never ending story, ah. Reach the stars, fly a fantasy. Dream a dream. And what you see will be. Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds. And there upon a rainbow is the answer to our never ending story, ah. Story, ah.”

Dustin had a smile on his face at the conclusion of their surprising musical number. I had my eyes trained on him the whole time absolutely perplexed at what was happening.

“Plancks constant is six point six two six zero seven zero zero four,” Suzie said over the radio, much to my relief.

I smiled and looked to Dustin who was grinning while looking ahead, “You just saved the world,” he explained.

“Gosh I missed you Dusty-bun,” she sighed happily to him.

“I missed you more, Suzie-poo,” Dustin cooed to her.

“I miss you more multiplied by all the stars in our galaxy.”

“No I miss you more-“

“Enough,” Erica demanded shutting down their radio connection and cutting off Dustin mid sentence.

“So rude, Erica!” Dustin snapped.

She scoffed, “Well sorry that I don’t want to hear the two of you dorks talking all stupid to each other!”

“I’m sorry you’ve never been in love before!”

“I’m ten you dork, I don’t care about that shit! I care about not puking while you’re making googly eyes at a radio!”

“Both of you, enough!” I said as I stood up, “Can we just appreciate that they got the keys and this shit could be over any time now?”

I walked back to the spot where I could see the mall. The lights weren’t flickering anymore.

“Guys!” I called, smiling, “The mall-the lights are back to normal!”

They were at my sides immediately and I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Maybe El managed to kill the monster before they closed the gate? Either way knowing they were, hopefully, safe was a relief.

“How much longer?” Erica wondered.

I shrugged, “Who’s to say? Hopefully soon.”

“I knew El could do it,” Dustin said quietly.

I turned to him and smirked, “Now back to the Neverending Story singalong.”

He rolled his eyes, “Look it’s our little-little thing we do! We both love the movie and-and it’s just...our thing!”

I was already laughing as he explained himself, “Come on, Lou,” he stressed, “we got the number didn’t we? Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Oh it’ll count for something once you see the party again,” I laughed.

“Um. Guys?” Erica questioned.

I looked back at her as my laughter subsided, “Yeah?”

She didn’t turn her head to look at me, just stuck her arm out and pointed her finger.

I looked back out over the trees back to Starcourt. The lights...they were flickering even worse if that was possible.

My stomach dropped and my chest tightened. The monster was still there. Still going after them. And I wasn’t there to help.

——

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner

Tag list : @queenofthehairharrington

[brelione]

Feild Trip with a Rich Bitch (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Part Two

Mentions of drugs,Rafe being a bitch,swearing and blow torches :)

Also,Goddess Part Three will be up by Friday afternoon.If you would like to be tagged please let me know :)

He had always hated Pogues.Then he met you.

You worked at a car repair shop in The Cut.He had come in on his bike,well,he had walked the broken piece of shit to the shop.You were the only one working that day.He couldnt help but think you looked adorable with your long sleeve yellow shirt under dark blue overalls,a backwards red hat and at least six silver chains draped across your neck.You had been extremely focused,sitting indian style as you smoothed a weird bump on a car with a nail file. “So are you gonna stare at me or are you gonna tell me what youre doing here,pretty boy?”You asked,not taking your attention off the task at hand.He blinked,surprised by your carefree yet assertive tone. “Uhh...somethings wrong with my bike.”He mumbled,attempting to smooth out his hair.You let out a small laugh as you dragged a paint brush along the smooth metal,fixing the messy spot. “No shit.What’d you do to it?”You asked,spreading more paint across the metal.His face turned red as he glanced around the shop.

There were paintings across the walls,multiple tool boxes and a wall of paint swatches.There were six other cars parked,some of them with large dents,holes or scratches. “I drove it into a tree.”He mumbled.You nodded. “Magnificent job,pretty boy.How are you gonna have a bike as expensive as that one then drive it into a tree?”You asked.He just shrugged,hands in his pockets.You put your paintbrush down into a cup of water,pulling out a blowtorch from seemingly nowhere.The flame hovered above the paint,drying and hardening it.Once you were satisfied with the paint job you stood up,brushing off your pants.You still had the blowtorch in your hand,the potential weapon swinging next to your thigh as you walked towards Rafe. “You gotta put the kickstand down,pretty boy.”You reminded him,gesturing to the bike.He nodded. “Right.”He nodded,putting the kickstand down and turning the handlebars so it would lean on the metal rod.One of the tires seemed blown out,a straight hole through the seat and multiple scratches across the metal.He watched as you looked over it.

You pulled at one of your chains. “So are you going to tell me what actually happened?”You asked,crossing your arms over your chest.That caused him to look down at your chest and the bleach stains across the front of your overalls.You snapped your fingers to get his attention back to your eyes.He cleared his throat,looking back up at you. “So how much for the repairs?”He asked.You smirked. “Well...i’d say $150 but you’re an asshole so thats an additional $15 and you’re also ruining my day so that would be another $15.”You twirled one of your chains,looking into his blue eyes.He bit his tongue,glancing between you and his bike. “And whats the fee for you not to tell anyone youre keeping my bike here?”He asked.You ran the tip of your tongue along your teeth with a devil like smile.God,this boy had never been in this kind of situation before.You werent even gonna tell anyone in the first place.You could probably charge him hundreds of dollars for all the things he’s done and he wouldnt be able to do anything about it.You were the best repair woman on the island and anyone else would go straight to his dad.It was 11 in the morning.You had pulled an all nighter for the third time that week and you hadnt eaten yet.Plus,if you sent Rafe to the store he could buy the expensive shit.

 “Theres a store three blocks away.Youre gonna go there and buy everything on the list and youre not gonna question it.”You told him.His eyebrows furrowed as he watched you take a notepad out of your pocket along with a pen,jotting things down.You tore the paper off,folding it and handing it to him.He took it,frowning and confused. “Hurry up.”You told him.He nodded,no words or sounds escaping his lips as he left the garage and made his way down the street.He knew what store you were talking about,the one with the sleeping cat outside.It was awfully quiet as he walked.Most of the time all the exciting things happened at night,not 11 in the morning.Either that or all the pogues were hiding from him,his gelled hair and his ugly ass khakis.He unfolded the piece of paper,reading it.Three large lemons,two large monster energy drinks,a bag of doritos and a pack of gum.It was a strange request but he wasnt supposed to question it.He had kept his head down at the store,grabbing three of the largest lemons he saw,two random monster energy drinks,the doritos and three packs of gum.

He didnt know what kind of gum you liked but you probably had to like one of the three,right?When he got back you were using your blowtorch on a part of the bike you had painted. “Put the bag on the work table and touch nothing.”You spoke loudly,confidently.He found your confidence unbelievably attractive.He never let anyone boss him around like this but ther was just something about you.You held some sort of power over other pogues,he could tell that much by the few boneyard parties he’d gone too.The others were attracted to you,some of them held their breath as you walked by,others just kept their distance.He didnt know where such nice chains had come from.They looked like they had weight,indicating that they were real.He had carefully walked over to your work table,seeing multiple small jars of paint,brushes,metal sheets,files,nails,screws and your cell phone.It was a pretty old model.He set the bag down on an empty spot,watching as a notification came across your phone.Eighteen days sober!Log this milestone.He frowned.Sober from what?

He shook it off,walking back around to where you were with his bike. “I was worried that you’d set my bike on fire or something.”He spoke quietly,trying to make conversation.You glared up at him,eyebrows casting shadows over your irises. “What?Cause im a dirty pogue?”You asked.He shook his head frantically. “Thats not what I meant I-”He began to explain himself but you cut him off. “So because im fixing your bike im different?”You asked.He sighed. “I just meant because of the blowtorch-Im sorry.”He mumbled.You stood up,blowtorch in hand. “Know your place,rich bitch.Your bike will be done by three,save yourself the embarrassment and go home to your mansion.”Your voice was dripping in venom,eyes narrowing.He gulped. “I cant go back home without my bike,my dad will kill me.”He mumbled,looking down at you.You smirked. “Good.”You replied before kneeling down again by the bike,getting back to work. “God,could you stop staring at me?Go sit somewhere or sue a tree or some shit.”You huffed.He almost tripped over his own feet,finding a chair and sitting down.He tapped his food on the ground anxiously. “So um...how long have you been fixing cars?”He asked.

You slammed the blow torch down on the concrete. “Could you shut the fuck up?Please?”You asked.He bit his lip. “I dont like the silence.”He replied. “And I dont like loud noises.”You answered. “What are you sober from?”He asked.You sat there for a moment,eyes locked on the ground.You slowly stood up,walking towards him. “You went on my phone?”You asked.His mouth went dry and he was lost for words. “Rafe.”You snarled.He looked back up at you,beads of sweat collecting at his hairline. “I-the notification-I just saw it and I just-God,im sorry (Y/N).”He sighed,looking away from you.Your hand reached up,gripping his jaw and making him look at you. “Didnt I tell you to shut the fuck up?”You asked.He looked away from you,only looking back when your grip tightened. “Yeah.”He muttered. “And you’re gonna be good and shut that pretty mouth of yours,right?”You asked,squeezing harder on his flesh.He hummed. 

“Good.”You mumbled,taking your hand away and getting back to work.You could feel him staring at you,the way your fingers moved as you grabbed your tools.He understood now.He understood the pogues’ fear and admiration of you.He felt like one of them,caught up in your beauty and the way you carried yourself while simultaneously being slightly afraid of you.You walked past him,grabbing one of the monsters.You grabbed a knife from the table.He watched as you cut open the bottom of the energy drink and shot gunned it,wiping your mouth when you were done.You grabbed a lemon from the bag,cutting an end of it off.You pulled a container of a white powder,opening it and coating the lemon slice in it. “Dont stare at me like that.Its salt,nothing you can snort.”You grumbled,taking the slice out and placing it in your mouth.Your eyes didnt squint and your eyebrows didnt furrow at the taste. “You...you eat lemons in salt?”He asked.You pulled the lemon slice from your teeth,biting the salt coated fruit as it left your mouth. 

“I do.”You replied. “It helps with cravings.”You finished your thought,going to fix the bike seat.Rafe had sat on his phone until one in the afternoon when he heard someone come in. “You havent answered your phone,thought you were dead or something.”A deep voice said.Rafe heard you giggle. “Only on the inside,sunshine.I’m busy with work right now,tell the others ill be around by seven.”He heard the tone of your voice.Friendly,happy and almost excited. “Alright.Did you eat today?”The voice asked. “I had a lemon slice,ive got some doritos so dont worry too much.I’ll see you later.”You had told your friend. “Alright,sounds like a plan.”THe boys voice said before leaving.Rafe watched as you rolled a tire inside,replacing the one he had destroyed.Once you had replaced it you went back to the bag of goodies,cutting open the other monster.You chugged it,sighing as you stared up at the ceiling. “Why do you hate me so much?”Rafe asked suddenly.A smile tugged at your lips.

 “You beat up two of my boys,you come around starting shit and blaming it on us,you think youre just so fucking amazing when youre really just a bitch,you ran over my fucking mailbox,you drink and drive,you gave another one of my boys a fucking concussion and a scar and you wonder why I hate you?”You ranted,fists clenching.He just sat there,hands gripping the arms of the chair. “You just fuck things up.”You sighed.He licked his lips. “You sound like my dad.”He mumbled.You laughed. “Oh dont get me started on your dad.That bitch ruined my life.”You sighed,grabbing another lemon slice.He raised his eyebrows. “What?How?”He asked.You just giggled to yourself. “You really have no idea what your father has done to my family?No idea at all?”You asked.He shook his head.You just laughed again,the sound filling the air.It wasnt like the way you had giggled with your friend.It was empty and sarcastic,hiding anger that was building up inside of you. “You wanna go for a field trip,Rafe Cameron?”You asked.

[surveysonfleek]

1581.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? yes, i have! its one of my favourite cities

What did you have for breakfast this morning? i had scrambled eggs and hash browns

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? no pockets and i hardly ever leave things in my pockets

Do you like Taylor Swift? i dont mind her, she has some catchy songs

What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? camp rock haha

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? id try to stay calm, id probably be super nervous just being in their presence though

Are there any lights on in the room you’re in? nope, its day time

What’s your favorite subject in school? it was visual arts

What’s your favorite holiday? christmas, it always means ill have a week or two off work!

Do you ever have to do yard work? nope

Is your school close to your house? ive been out of school for a longggg time but it was a 5-10 min drive

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? -

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? its a good song! i dont love it but im not surprised at how massive it got

Do you use perfect grammar online? honestly, in my previous surveys i would but now i cant be bothered. i use perfect grammar day to day when working so i just sorta wna chill and not focus too much when i do these now

Are you currently using a laptop? yes

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? most likely, i used to love downloading them back in the limewire days

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? i loooooved britney when she first blew up. and i still do! i dont listen to her stuff too heavily anymore but i still love it

Is it a windy day? nope

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? no

What shorthand do you use the most? if were talking about typing, i still text/chat people with ‘u’ instead of ‘you’

Do you ever wish on stars at night? no, ive never seen a shooting star

What color are your eyes? brown

What album is the current song you’re listening to off of? not listening to music, i have the tv on while doing this

What are you doing after you finish this? not sure, maybe another survey

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? i havent listened to the radio in forever

Are you in a band? no

How clean is your bedroom? pretty clean!

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? no

Are you sitting at a desk? no, im in bed lol

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? male

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? of course ol

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? i feel lik ei have once but i do not remember anything about it 

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? yes

Are there any framed pictures in the room you’re in? yes

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? not in broadway... ive seen the musicals lion king and aladdin in my city though

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? i did when it first came out

What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? none really stand out to me

Do you prefer group or individual work? individual, id rather just count on myself

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? car

Are you wearing anything with stripes? nope

What time did you go to sleep last night? i think 1am

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? no

What show did you last watch? american horror story

Do you think you’ll do anymore surveys today? maybe one more

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? run and raisin

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? years ago when i actually attended school lol

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? i probably could, i just wouldnt have the patience

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? nah. id rather not risk mine or others’ lives

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? i dont have homework

Did you think Adam Lambert’s AMA performance was really that controversial? i dont recall, this survey is probably really old

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? nah, i just dont listen to them

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? yes

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? yes actually! ill need to greet him

When was the last time you rode in a limo? never been in one :(

Do you take naps daily? no. i wish!

Do you still make Christmas lists? yes haha

Do you watch the show Dexter? i did. apparently theyre rebooting it which is exciting! the ending was pretty trash

What’s the background on your phone? its a dark cityscape of nyc

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? -

Are you scared of any animals? cockroaches. also i live in australia so while im not afraid of snakes and spiders, im pretty mindful of them

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? yup! ive been to sexpo and a wedding expo lol

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? probably a kehlani song

Where do you want to live when you grow up? around here still

Are you currently using a blanket? yep

Are there any songs that make you cry? not really

How many siblings do you have? one

What are you doing this weekend? its saturday today. im doing nothing. tomorrow im going on a picnic with friends

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? pool, its so much more comfortable than a beach lol

When was the last time you had a haircut? hmm... maybe june?

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? a harp!

Are you in band or chorus at your school? no

Do you know what you want for Christmas? nope. i dont ‘need’ anything.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year’s Eve? most of the time!

Is your birthday within the next three months? no

How long is the song you’re listening to? not listening to music

Are you anticipating anything this week? yeah, kinda waiting to see if were going ahead with buying some land

Is your mom or dad the older parent? my dad

Have you taken the SATs yet? -

Do you watch anything on E? i dont have e

Are you going to get off the computer now that you’ve finished this? nah maybe one more survey lol

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

[sukirichi]

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace  while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires  🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace  while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires  🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

y/n becomes a real baddie when she’s pissed off 😫

hmm y/n wasn’t really working hard for her dad’s attention, it was more like she felt so left out and unwanted (she feels unwanted wherever she goes) that she just decided to pack up and support them from afar bcos to her, she’s so alienated in her dad’s family that she felt like she had to work hard to earn a spot in their table. she knows she’s the outsider but she wants to feel like she can be part of them, that she is also a child deserving of love and care, but becos her stepmom focused more on her actual kids and her own dad was too busy with his new family now, it made y/n feel that she had to do something to be worthy of that.

that’s why most of the money she made working in tokyo was still wired to her family; she put her brothers in school and supported them, all because she hoped it would make them accept her more. now, things are different because she finally found her biological family, but even if valeria and co. still don’t want her, y/n is now more focusing on building something that’s truly hers that no one can take away. yes yes, she did become greedy, but more for power than of acceptance. she got to a point she doesn’t care as much vying for her parents’ approval and now thinks her luxury gives her comfort; only because at least she has that much. like she said in the latest chapter, happiness was not what she needed, it was stability and money - all things she lacked before.

and yea she did go back to her roots! all of her issues started with her dad anyway but that part is slowly patching up 🩹💔 oooh actually your theory is right bestie 🧐 gojo found y/n interesting bcos she reminded him of mia, so the more she pushed him away, the more he’s like wait, i’ve been here before, let’s not repeat past mistakes but i can do better now. on the part where gojo talked to mia while she was asleep, notice how he said he’s given a second chance to do better now, all because he couldn’t do them with mia but he could with y/n.

ohhh actually y/n was the one who established that ‘fulfilling mutual need and settling for familiarity instead of being lonely’ type of relationship. gojo avoided her for weeks and he’s pretty settled in keeping his distance, but she was the one who sought him out. deep down, y/n is afraid if she doesn’t at least use him as an anchor to her more humble roots, then she might spiral out of control and end up like valeria, thus using him as a ‘distraction’ but in reality, she needs his comfort to be grounded.

SECOND LEAD AGENDA OMG LETS GOOO 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ geto the fine fine option.

NO BESTIE MOMENT U MENTIONED LAWYER NAOYA I JUST KNEW I WAS GONNA SCREAM. okay but lawyer! naoya is so fine, i love his character so much bcos he’s a pure bean. originally, i was gonna make him an antagonist but i found he had more potential as a good, supportive character. HIS PEN SPIN HELPPP WHY COULDN’T HE JUST BEEN OUR BABY DADDY 😫 he pulls them fast spins bcos he’s nervous btw HAHAHAHA y/n can be quite intimidating and lawyer! naoya is sometimes too precious.

celebrity chef! sukuna is MEAN! he was pictured after gordon ramsay so lmao. omgggg sukuna being famous not only for his food but also his handsomeness 😳 he gets so cocky over how no one can get in his level while popping a battle of champagne, listening to ‘careless whisper’ while dancing to his reflection in the mirror 😤

also yoo supermodel! choso is THE hot shit 🥵 he’s so famous his schedule is packed for an entire year and a half and those are just for very selected brands and designers! ugh imagine going to work on the subway when you see supermodel! choso with rbf posing sexily and you swoon because he’s so sexy. plot twist that choso doesn’t know how to drive bcos as a kamo family member, they grew up with drivers taking them to and fro, so when his driver got sick and everyone else was busy, supermodel choso takes the subway himself and hides behind a face mask and cap while still wearing extravagant clothes that makes him stand out more. he does not have ‘subtle’ on his book at all.

and yeah people say he’s intimidating but its more his height and build + rbf! in reality, he’s just as soft and sweet as naoya, but both of them go into protective mode when someone they care about is being crapped on. and boy when they DO get into “what did you just say?” mode, better run away 🏃🏻‍♀️ supermodel! choso is also an heir to the kamo empire though not after the business, but he still has enough power to take you down in a second.

meanwhile, lawyer! naoya didn’t become this successful without being so savage yet composed he makes you question your entire existence before he drags you to court. lawyer! naoya is so scarily convincing that he can make you plead guilty even tho you did nothing wrong 💀

aaaah omg supermodel! choso LOVES babies actually! as the eldest child who looked after his brothers bcos the kamo parents are always away for work, being a father figure is so natural to him. i can picture him being the one who cries harder than gojo if the baby is born bcos he’s so excited, then reads poems to the baby before sighing that childbirth is such a beautiful thing 🥺

omg i know sweet n sour, the actresses are one of my faves tho i haven’t watched it yet! oooh they’re a nurse? i didn’t know that 🧐 i actually finish my short training in a week so i’ll be heading on to heavy majoring in psychology! wait bestie are YOU also a psych major 😳💕 oh and i see i see, sky castle *jots that down for future references* reckless actually has lots of significance in terms of the parents’ roles so i’m excited to see that! and aww thank you so much, can’t believe i made it in someone’s top three 🥺💕

HELP AHSKWKW i’m gonna call the best chiropractor in the world and send them gege’s way, i’ll cry a river if that’s what it takes to bring my boo back to life 😭 and noo baby the support already means a lot to me, i’m just happy to indulge in my hobbies and share it wih you all so thank you very much for everything 🥺 please take care of yourself too n have a nice day!! kith MWAH 💕