#i dont think i am going to post my thesis for these challenges but it fits with the joke for now

[bunkernine]

it also goes without saying that jason wouldve been the only one who understands leo, is equally as lost without a permanent home, has no other responsibilities, and doesnt have many other connections to rely back on either. the fact jason could just be shoved away at edgarton because he loves leo too much says enough. i think those two would have fun traveling the world together because itll be the first time they can do it without being chased down, on a time limit, or have any real plans. i would love to add piper but this is the exact instability piper has despised, but jason + leo are comfortable with. it'll be fun for those two, like a little fucked up vacation, and maybe then they could settle... but i also think both are MUCH too connected with their godly sides to be able to function properly in mortal life.... Which is why new rome is kinda perfect too

[forabeatofadrum]

Thank you @quizasvivamos​ for the anticipated returned tag. I honestly like it a lot that the turns have tabled in a way. You’re tagging me now!

As I mentioned on Sunday, I am writing my thesis and I joked about how that it basically my WIP for the next couple of months. So...

Translation underneath the weather. I am actually listening to Welcome to Night Vale now and episode 48′s weather is playing. It slaps.

Re: fic writing, I still have ideas for my Solangelo fic and of course for my Klaine Advent 2022 but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ having to read my literature library of 51 academic articles and books is taking up time.

And now, the weather: @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen​ @cutestkilla​ @nausikaaa​/@wellbelesbian​​ @martsonmars​ @boyinjeans​ @facewithoutheart​ @artsyunderstudy​

The queer community is still portrayed in a heteronormative way to show that heterosexuality is the norm (Avila-Saavedra, 2009). Another point for improvement is that queer men are depicted more often than queer women. Queer men are most commonly portrayed in both entertainment media (Townsend et al., 2022) and commercial media (Nölke, 2018). Gender is generally still portrayed in a skewed way: there are more men in the media than women (Daalmans, Kleemans, & Sadza, 2017).

Furthermore, queer women are still often portrayed as conventionally attractive (DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016), and are overly sexualized. They lack depth or they are marketed as fan service for men (Annati & Ramsey, 2022). Since women are still underrepresented and often poorly represented, it is interesting to look at queer women in general (DeCeuninck & Dhoest, 2016).

[circeius-invidioso]

Time for some more meth math.

Space wolve math.

Before we begin.

Side tangent.

Skip to the first chapter if you want to get to the meat and... Mjød?

Get it? Space wolves? I am not proud of that joke.

Anyway. On the poll I had placed the weapons cost of a primarch pulled through for 1. Vote.

Catch me in the corner sweating bullets thinking that I will have to do both for like 7 hours gay (we don't do straight in this house).

In the end the tie was broken a few minutes before the timer ended.

So now it's time to channel the spirit of Magnus during his trials.

Meaning.

My results are questionable. But I will stand by them.

I don't get why you will challenge them anyway.

I DID NOTHING WRONG DAD.

WHY YOU BOOING ME I AM RIGHT.

Without holding you back any further. Here is the excel table nightmares are made of.

Don't panic. Dont even squint to see.

Take a deep breathe. And let me explain to you what is happening.

Our variables are

Pre made -> whatever has this tag does not have tech or hours calculated in the final roundup. This is either relics, gift etc etc.

Sum Hours Cost -> how long it takes for that weapon to be made multiplied by the hourly wage which is a constant 10€ per hour.

Alloy A -> Is a blend of Bauxide and Silicon Carbite. A trusted source told me that this is the most likely material to make weapons in the warhammer universe.

Alloy B -> Is a blend of Tungsten and Titanium my headcanon as to what might be used to manufacture weapons in the warhammer universe.

Paintjob -> Only guns get a paintjob I like being sane.

Sum A -> Russ' weapons value if manufactured with Alloy A.

Sum B -> Russ' weapons value if manufactured with Alloy B.

I will save you all how I reached those final numbers. If I did I would need 50 pages and I would call this a thesis not a shitpost.

Lets just say it took some work and I might be on an Fbi list or two by now.

But it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

The equation that gives those final numbers is.

Tech cost + Sum Hours Cost + Alloy A or B (depending on the material) + Paintjob.

But to give you an idea of the nightmare I went through get a taste of the equation without it being simplified.

((Wage A x Hours A) + Material A) + (Hours B × Wage A) + {[(Metal A Cost × 90%) + (Metal B Cost x 10%)] × Kilos of Alloy Needed} + (Pigment A + Hours C + Materials B)

You get why it took me so long and why I can't do all the Primarchs at once right?

Results Based On Alloy A

Mjalnar -> 72.8 €

Krakenmaw -> 1652.88 €

Helwinter -> 811.88 €

Scornspitter -> 121.93 €

Spear of Russ -> 52.78 €

Sum Value A -> 2712.27 €

Results Based On Alloy B

Mjalnar -> 18080 €

Krakenmaw -> 39468 €

Helwinter -> 16118€

Scornspitter -> 6874.63 €

Spear of Russ -> 13108 €

Sum Value B -> 93648.63 €

WE STILL HAVE THE UPKEEP COST AND AMMO!

MORE NUMBERS!

LIFE IS PAIN!

Ammo Cost -> Self explanatory.

Upkeep Cost -> 15% of value. Don't ask how I reached this result. I will need a page of numbers and you musy not threaten me with a good time.

Tldr cause I can see you getting dizzy with all these numbers, the Ammo for Scornspitter is a 12 € per round. The more Russ shoots the more the bill rises. I will let your imagination go wild.

Upkeep Cost Using Alloy A

For all weapons -> 406.85 €

Upkeep Cost Using Alloy B

For all weapons -> 14047.30 €

For everyone who is bored of reading all the math from the previous chapters this section is for you.

Total cost if Alloy A is used -> 2712.27 (sum cost) + 406.84 (upkeep cost) = 3119.11 €

Total cost if Alloy B is used -> 93648.63 (sum cost) + 14047.29 (upkeep cost) = 107695.93 €

So to round out this post.

If Russ uses Alloy A then he still doesn't reaches Dorn's paintjob cost.

If he used Alloy B. Then he surpasses Dorn's paintjob cost.

Tldr.

Russ is high maintenance. But we've seen worse.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

31 March 2023 Frrriday 1:07 am pdt

The incubus is intentionally making time run 🏃🏻‍♀️ out for me. No one seems to be making any moves to help me. Maybe he’s right . That I deserve this treatment from people that I deserve not to be helped. There’s an idea 💡 I have but I’m hesitant to say it. I thought 💭 of a reason to make me feel ok with it but I forgot what it was. I don’t remember (diarrhea 1:11 am pdt) if it’s contingent on something. I wonder 💭 if I’m being mislead by Wikipedia. Should I say it? Would everyone hate me if I said it? I had to wrestle with a lot of ugly feelings all my life. I’m not the prettiest person on the inside or outside. My mom used to tell me I had s*xy legs 🦵 that’s about it. 1:14 pmpdt maybe I could have been less selfish less greedy less spiteful. More understanding. 1:15 am pdt more careful? 1:15 am pdt I distrust the police 👮‍♂️ bcz of Oakland prostitution case and a lot of shootings such as breonna Taylor. Cops 👮‍♂️ could go in plain clothing and follow (pain right side below bellybutton to the right 1:20 am pdt) carjackings? Why do I feel fearful 😧 of writing ✍️ that? Is it going to bite me back? I guess it’s not possible? 1:23 am pdt what ever. People say god is in control of everything. I expire, and things continue the same as b4? 1:24 am pdt incubus is mocking me in every way. That he has control of everything and every one and whether I get help or not. This fuse YouTube video I think 💭 he’s mocking me. “Brendan” Said I sounded yummy 🤤 the first night we chatted 💬 online on aol after I described myself. In this video he says someone looks look 👀 delicious 🤤. He said he enrolled in five towns college in Long Island 🏝 New York. He said he failed the class even though he played the guitar 🎸 very well in karas flowers 🌸. He failed probably Bcz he missed most of the classes. 1:29 am pdt for some reason when I first watched it I thought 💭 it was clear he skipped most of the classes. 1:30 🕜 am pdt.

2:01 am pdt my dad is very picky about a lot of stuff like music and art. He told me I think 💭 b4 I made it official for señior project he said “you’ll never prove graffiti is art!” So I thought 💭 it was a challenge to prove it. After I did the final presentation one woman 👩🏼 at the end of my presentation, was probably a parent of a student 👨‍🎓 but I didn’t know of who, she basically was like duh 🙄 graffiti is art or like of course graffiti is art 🖼 and then it hit me maybe I chose a stupid topic a stupid thesis. 2:06 am pdt I suddenly felt dumb again. 2:06 am pdt my dad did some airbrush paintings 🖼 of women swimming 🏊‍♀️ under water and a sailboat ⛵️ and a hot air balloon 🎈 when I was a baby/toddler; but I guess that’s very different stylistically and compositionally and format. 2:08 am pdt even though it is basically same medium. 2:08 am pdt 2:09 am pdt

2:40 am pdt 2:41 am pdt I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ much about the Levine’s family. I assumed initially that he incubus’ dad grew up in Los Angeles. My dad lived there from his ≈preteens forward until he went to college. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ who my dad was friends with. He seemed very lonely after the divorce. 2:43 am pdt right foot 🦶 toes tortured with heat and pressure. 2:44 am pdt maybe my dad didn’t have any friends in Los Angeles. I think I read that incubus’ mom went to UCB on Wikipedia around 2013. I saw a post that incubus’ dad had a guitar 🎸 with Berkeley? Labeled on the case? So they probably met at UCB. I forget when I saw a thing on tv 📺 maybe it was 2010, in the uk? 🇬🇧 there was a couple who after dating for a while or after getting married they discovered they’re fathers were best friends. (Top lip and anus sharp pain 2:47 am pdt) so during the summer of last year I hypothesized maybe my dad was friends with them and maybe he didn’t know it? Or maybe 🤔 he did and never told me? 2:49 am pdt but I dont know. I keep comparing myself to Q with her Marilyn Monroe sounding voice when she talks and how she seems affectionate 🤗 all the time. But I also try (pain tearing at my toes 2:51 am pdt) to remind myself of the pictures she probably photoshopped and my new hypothesis that she stole from me. Maybe she’s not as sweet as I thought 💭 originally? But is she excused in every way Bcz the incubus excuses her? Bcz he thinks I deserve it? I think 💭 about the times I have been not nice. Like when I verbally fight with my mom. I’m not perfect I have said/wrote here in this tumblr. Maybe he holds that against me and thinks I’m ugly Bcz of that. Maybe he’s excused Bcz he’s god/incubus/man. And that maybe it isn’t as possible as I had hoped originally to have family planning to control population growth like have one child per family for a few generations and then maybe ncrease when it drops below a specific total enough so that we don’t outpace in growth . I don’t think 🤔 I would like to grow old especially with the way things are going for me. Is this really the only way? Life feels so ugly now. People seem so ugly now to me. Animalistic. Am I capable of being better like I thought I accomplished becoming around 2016-2019? I slipped up 🆙 a few times I wasn’t perfect. 3:01 am pdt I don’t believe anything great will happen for me now. On entertainment tonight Instagram someone was quoted saying about life? We get what we get? So maybe this is it. Nothing is going (right eye 👁 stabbing sharp pain 3:02 am pdt) it doesn’t matter if incubus is killing me and that he’s throwing hints that he was the one I was having cyber s*x and phone s*x with in 2001 when I was age 15-16 years old. If he wants me gone he has the power to make it so. 3:04 am pdt and he will enjoy rubbing it in my face. 3:04 am pdt

3:11 am pdt incubus applied acid to almost my whole spine at once. 😞😖😭this whole thing is a trap 🪤. It’s not fair. 3:12 am pdt

3:17 am pdt I never relied on incubus or anyone to hide the things I have done. When I was probably 4? years old I once played Barbie dolls with a random girl about the same age and I borrowed the clothing without asking I took the clothing home 🏠 and tried it but I always brought it back. I think 💭 she realized partially what I was doing and then stopped playing with me. Incubus has been heating up my feet 🦶. Don’t like it. 3:21 am pdt

4:03 am pdt

4:06 am pdt I can’t upload photos from my phone on to tumblr. If no information ℹ️ has been tampered with online you can look 👀 at Jane Herman’s education on Facebook. It should say she graduated in 2002 from a college? University? In New York. 4:17 am pdt in fuse interview he misleads people about Jane Herman, saying she was going to college in oberlin Ohio. I read online around 2017 that he went with her to New York I thought 💭. I guess maybe 🤔 he went back and decided to do that road trip later? Or they both are lying 🤥???? 4:20 am pdt

4:45 am pdt I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ when the incubus is telling the truth. It seems he and his family have made up 🆙 an elaborate lie to mislead me about their intentions. I’m starting to believe he’s really friends with Nick carter like he’s friends with Justin Timberlake, maybe even more with Nick carter than Timberlake.😭🥵😤🥵😖😭 acid in throat. Too many acid attacks for me to believe anything else but death ☠️ Will happen to me soon. I wish I didn’t know it was coming. 4:49 am pdt I wish the incubus would kill me with his own hands 🙌 with a guillotine. Leave my mom out of this. I don’t want to see my mom being used in that way like a robot 🤖. 4:51 am pdt

4:52 am pdt if incubus lied 🤥 about Jane Herman being in oberlin Ohio for college maybe 🤔 then the whole cross country road trip was a(left shin pain 4:53 am pdt) lie. 4:53 am pdt don’t remember geometry 📐 postulates and theorems much. Only that it’s like if a is true then b is true type of stuff. 4:54 am pdt I’m afraid 😱 of what the incubus will do next to me and what else he will do sabotage investigations. 4:55 am pdt if he’s lying 🤥 about Ohio it’s like he’s trying to rewrite history. In 2017? He tried to say something like Jane could mean Jane doe, referring to the album 💿 title. 4:57 am pdt he covered up 🆙 his dove 🕊 tattoo he got ≈6 days after 9/11 Bcz he was in the area Bcz he was enrolled at five towns college in Long Island 🏝 New York. It is like he’s trying to rewrite history and doesn’t care. 4:59 am pdt incubus has putting thoughts 💭 and feelings in my mind that I’m a hypocrite? Hypo means under/low? Crite short for critical. If you aren’t critical of yourself do you let yourself off the hook 🪝 for actions such as child rape? Was it sperm found on Jon benet Ramsey December 1996? Months before incubus turned 18? Whose sperm? Not connected to the guy who confessed it said in Wikipedia who started becoming transsexual? I probably should watch it but when I randomly saw it on the news 📰 back in 2002? He didn’t seem normal. He seemed maybe... crazy? Was he a stand in for the real killer to make his getaway? 5:05 am pdt it’s weird to say and think 🤔 but they say anything is possible with god. 5:05 am pdt

5:29 am pdt incubus is making me too anxious and nervous Bcz I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ when he is telling the truth. I’m starting to believe all men are the same = wicked heinous. 5:30 🕠 am pdt 5:31 am pdt

5:46 am pdt incubus wants to guilt me still about my mom kicking 🦵 out my aunt in 2015. My mom gave my aunt another chance to talk it out with her but she was I guess gung ho? Definition? About saying I am bad bcz god told her, & that god is mad at me. 5:49 am pdt so she doesn’t mind trying to kill us. B4 she was fine living with us and only paying $500 + some utilities. But she tried to order me around. Maybe 🤔 she was trying to see how much she could control me. 5:51 am pdt I was taking accounting classes so my mom would not leave me. That took up 🆙 a lot of time. And she wanted to be a b*tch by being noisy while people are trying to sleep 😴. 5:53 am pdt

5:54 am pdt and I think 🤔 I admitted to my mom that I shouldn’t have yelled at her? And got that way about it. Maybe it helped change her mind to try and talk again about it with her in the park. But I guess she thought 💭 she could get me kicked out instead by saying what she said? I think 🤔 she didn’t realize that I was paying 💰 for most of the rent at the time. Recently she complained to me and made me feel guilt/sorry for her being kicked out Bcz she described her living situation to me after she got kicked out. But she could have prevented that if she was not a b*tch about being noisy when I was trying to sleep 💤 and realize maybe 🤔 that I m trying not to be bad? I was extremely busy with homework 📚 (idle hands 🙌 are the devil’s playground????) and if my mom felt like she could be honest with her she would have told her that I was paying 💰 the rent. My aunt woke my mom up to give her her share of the rent in cash 💰 is what it looked like so I think 🤔 she didn’t trust me? It’s ironic. 6:03 am pdt it really feels like now that the incubus really meant what he told my aunt. But it also looks like he excuses himself and men for anything they do including child rape. 6:05 am pdt I think 💭 that’s REALLY how it is. And it’s a harsh reality to face. Somehow child rapists are better than me? I don’t understand how. I NEVER raped anyone! 6:07 am pdt 6:08 am pdt.

6:13 am pdt I went to a party 🎉 with Q and a guy I only met that evening decided to grope me under my skirt. He was bigger than me and it was the first time aim that situation. The only people I have ever groped were probably the 4 guys I wrote about in this tumblr. 6:16 am pdt I m not proud of the things I did wrong. I wish I could take a time machine and not do anything except stop 🛑 myself from doing any of it. 6:18 am pdt some people seem to have foresight? Definition? Like they know the future but they I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ probably don’t try to do anything avoidant? Like try not to kill someone? A lot of things I didn’t realize that I’m starting to see? When incubus has started killing my eyeballs 👀 and making it harder to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ I’m feeling pressure in my chest. I’m not going to the doctor 👨‍⚕️ anymore. I see signs 🪧 but I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it’s a fake out sign 🪧 or a real sign 🪧. I’m afraid 😱 to say. 6:22 am pdt

6:26 am pdt incubus if you hate me that much kill me already with a guillotine. You had everyone be cruel to me. Please STOP 🛑. 6:27 am pdt do it yourself. Don’t make someone else do it. 6:28 am pdt

6:29 am pdt incubus is too lazy to do it himself. He burned my butt cheek. 6:29 am pdt

7:09 am pdt incubus/miñion comes to visit me to make it hard to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️. He hurt my heart ♥️ again minutes ago and now I can’t breathe adequately a full breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️. Incubus miñion is a torturous murderer. My life was so unfulfilled. They sabotaged all my efforts to have relationships. They made it hard for me to be in a good mood and to be genuinely happy so I cannot attract or make a genuine connections. And now he hurt my heart ♥️ so I cannot breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ it hurt a lot. I’m probably dying today now this moment. Hot air is coming out of my throat. They feel nothing for me. I’m not desireable or acceptable no matter what I tried. 7:14 am pdt I spent the last 5 years being called trash 🗑 by incubus and company. 7:15 am pdt

8:09 pmpdt so in the last 24 hours I saw 👀 Nick carter is in Vegas. Incubus is in Vegas. Coincidence? He is probably friends with him. He is not shy to go to where he is. 8:12 pmpdt

😵8:25 pmpdt Nick carter lives in Las Vegas! Didn’t know that until a minute ago.

8:31 pmpdt Depeche Mode was at T-Mobile arena in Las Vegas? The park mgm maroon 5 is doing their residency at looks like it’s across the street! 👀 8:33 pmpdt (diarrhea again 8:34 pmpdt)

9:29 pmpdt incubus/miñion attacked my gluteus maximas? Area with acid again and again and again (loud gurgle 9:30 🕤 pmpdt probably more diarrhea?) 9:31 pmpdt I’m woozy/light headed?/lil dizzy a lot recently. This looks like a witch’s 🧙 sorcery to make me prone to falling and hitting my head on the sharp corner of stone kitchen counter. Is anyone going to stand up 🆙 for me to the incubus? I think 💭 he’s really going to kill me. I don’t have any proof that he is going to keep me around. I think 💭 this is a con to make things go back (right eye 👁 pain 9:34 pmpdt) to the way it was. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ much about anything. Am I a jack/yak of all trades? 9:35 pmpdt I feel like I’ve been duped and that I really don’t understand much. I wish I knew more science 🧬 stuff. I only took basic introduction to biology. All I have are probably misleading signs 🪧 to rely on. I missed out a lot on life. It really passed me by. I spent too much time at home 🏠. I formerly was able to recall (acid brain 🧠 skull 💀 pain 9:39 pmpdt) my head trauma pain like it happened yesterday. The incubus almost toook it all away. I remember it hurt extremely bad the pain was so strong. I think I remember it hurt a big part of my skull 💀 maybe the whole thing and my whole brain 🧠? 9:41 pmpdt he’s too skilled at taking memory away. He hurts me so much that it feels like everything he tried to make me believe in last year was a lie. 9:42 pmpdt brings me up 🆙 to fills me up 🆙 to let me down. 9:43 pmpdt I wish I had more good s*x! 😵😖😭😞😫 everything is disappointing! 9:44 pmpdt last 5 years was and is hell, & I was tortured all my life! 9:45 pmpdt 9:46 pmpdt

9:50 pmpdt is it actually 6 years now??? 2017... this celibacy biting my ass. I should have f****d in 2008! 2009, 2010. 9:52 pmpdt

10:26 pmpdt 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017? 10:27 pmpdt

10:32 pmpdt watching 20/20 I think 💭??? David Muir Et al. ABC? 10:34 pmpdt

12:57 am pdt 1 April 2023 Saturday sabado 🪐

12:58 am pdt New York is a fashion capital. I think I read Jane Herman’s family ran a jeans 👖 fashion boutique? Something like that. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what is in Ohio. I think 💭 I read after college she worked for vogue? Was it vogue? A fashion magazine? 1:01 am pdt

[marystudies]

A LONG ASS LIST OF TIPS FOR HIGH SCHOOL: FRESHMAN TO SENIOR YEAR LETS GO

Disclaimer: This is just from my experience, so these might not all apply to you! 

Freshman Year

ok, ok, freshman year can be scary but don’t let that get to you

dont worry about upperclassmen being rude/teasing you 

it’ll most likely happen, but I’ve never seen an upperclassman tease a freshman with the intention to really hurt them

one day you’ll be them so dw

on the topic of upperclassmen, make some older friends!!! (through classes, sports, etc.) it’s so nice to have someone give you tips and help you through high school

dont expect your friend group to stay the same lol

BUT ITS A GOOD THING I PROMISE YOU

I was scared of changing my friend group, so even though I wasn’t being treated too well, it wasn’t until senior year when I really made a change and I wish I did it earlier

be open to meeting new people, everyone is scared just like you and looking for more friends

I don’t think its neccessary for freshman to become sUPER involved in clubs and all that but at least get a feel for whats out there

try out for a sport if you play one!

this goes for all of high school, not just freshman year, but I regret not being as involved as I could’ve been 

Go to school events like football games and dances! School spirit is considered weird in middle school but its cool in high school

take your classes seriously, your teachers are right - high school is much harder than middle school (but it’s not too bad if you stay organized!)

my freshman year GPA was my lowest like english really caught me off guard (properly formatted, 5 paragraph essays being 50% of your grade??? a concept.)

so my cumulative GPA was brought down

I think most freshman don’t have access to AP classes to boost your GPA or anything, but if you’re looking to push yourself take an honors class or 2! (if available)

Sophomore Year

wooohooo ur no longer a freshman

I’d take at least 1 AP class if you can

my sophomore year I took AP Human Geo - which I really loved, and it also wasn’t too hard

a lot of sophomores take AP World which is a BITCH of a class

BUT I wouldn’t recommend taking Honors World because you don’t get the GPA boost, you don’t get college credits (unless you take the AP Euro test or something), and it’s almost just as hard 

this is a bit random - but when you’re taking Algebra 2 (which was my sophomore year) PLS PAY ATTENTION math builds on itself don’t fuck yourself over

take the PSAT if you want (I honestly don’t remember if I took it freshman year too but eh), but seriously its not required

start thinking about college (I know it’s the last thing you want to do)

just little things like

when do I want to take the SAT/ACT?

would I like a small school or a big school?

What will I be able to put on my college applications?

like if you do community service through a club/church/etc then great!!! sports? YEs

can’t think of anything? Join a club! Try out for a sport (it’s not too late) Find something that interests you

you’re probably pretty situated socially now but never be afraid to get to know those classmates/”school friends” better! 

Junior Year

so junior year is commonly thought of as the hardest year of highschool

which is partially true (we’ll get there later)

but anyways, seriously buckle your seatbelt and get ready to work your ass off because THIS YEAR COUNTS, LADIES AND GENTS

Take AP classes if available

I took AP Psych (WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and Honors PreCalc (coming from regular Algebra 2)

Psych gave me college credit and a GPA boost

HPC gave me a GPA boost for UCs 

It was a bitCH of a class but it made AP calc a breeze 

If you haven’t started already, start prepping for SAT/ACT and then take them

tutoring is very helpful, but it can be expensive

I’ve seen studyblrs post about free prep through Kahn Academy and other stuff, so you might have to do a bit of digging but there are tons of resources out there

TAKE PRACTICE TESTS

take one of each first - then focus on the test you did better on 

one of my biggest regrets is taking SAT prep instead of ACT prep because my ACT (which I didn’t do specialized prep for) ended up equivalent to my SAT (which I did prep for)

the more you take em the better you get

Studyblr is gr8 for finding test taking tips

If you’re not happy with your score, just take it again! I only took each one once but most people improve their scores if they take it again

I recommend visiting a few universities when you’re on break! Get a feel for what you like and what you don’t like (size, location, public/private, etc) and what kind of school you could get accepted to

you don’t want to end up applying to a billion schools that you wouldn’t even want to go to

private schools like it when you express interest by visiting

so if you’re visiting, make sure you check in so you can be in their system 

END OF JUNIOR YEAR - ASK FOR LETTERS OF REC NOW! BY THE FIRST WEEK OF SENIOR YEAR A LOT OF TEACHERS ARE ALREADY TAKING ON TOO MANY LETTERS!

Senior Year (buckle up this section is the longest)

but YAY UR A SENIOR 

DO FUN SENIOR YEAR THINGS like my school has all kinds of events for seniors and it’s so great 

Remember when I said junior year is the hardest? Yeah well no... 1st semester senior year is SO MUCH WORSE ur in for a lot of fun

Ok seriously - don’t let senioritis get to you first semester

Still take challenging classes! Schools are looking for progression in difficulty

Those mid year transcripts REALLY DO MATTER! 

College apps, man

Make sure you’re communicating with your counselor to make sure you have everything ready and on track 

like file the FAFSA and CSS (used for lots of privates)

tbh I didn’t think it would help me a lot but it (the CSS) actually did so just do it even if you think you’ll get nothing

Ok so hopefully at this point you have a feel for what schools you are interested in

Things to consider: location, price, size, public/private, difficulty of the application, ranking, program/major you are applying to, campus, overall vibe

I didn’t do any interviews but maybe look into it

Don’t get too comfortable and set reasonable goals - apply to several safety schools, a few good options/could go either way schools, but also a few “reaches”

ESSAYS

I’m no college counselor, but don’t just wing your essays without having an adult/professional look over them

I got lucky - my mom is a professional writer so my family didn’t pay for a counselor

Do your research - you can find so much information about what schools are looking for in essays

If an essay is “optional” DO IT it’s really not optional lol

Keep in mind - these essays are nothing like what you’ve been taught. You don’t have to (and often SHOULDNT) write a 5 paragraph essay with topic sentences relating back to the thesis and evidence, etc. its much more free

think “What is the story I am going to tell?”

get creative - this is hard and takes some time

Think: How am I going to separate myself from thousands of applicants? What is a story that ONLY I can tell?

DO EARLY ACTION FOR AS MANY SCHOOLS AS POSSIBLE!!! 

such a relief to knowing you got in somewhere in like,,,, november

acceptance rates are higher for EA 

the order from highest to lowest is ED > EA > RD

Early Decision scares me (schools will say they give equal scholarship consideration but lol thats a lie) 

but if you have your heart set on a school go ahead

apply to other school just in case, you don’t want to get stuck starting all your apps when a lot of students have already turned them all in

Now that you’re done with applications (whew), the acceptances (and rejection) will start coming!! yay!

ok first for acceptances

those first acceptances are so cool like YAY YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE IM PROUD OF U

as soon as you get your first acceptances really start researching the school more and deciding if you’d REALLY want to go there or not

i know this is hard bc you haven't heard back from all your schools but it’ll make choosing a school so much easier

sadly, not all acceptances are happy tho

like I got accepted to my #1 school but they gave me no money so it was impossible to go

I was so emo for a couple days there

BUT! If you’re serious about it, try appealing for financial aid but keep your expectations low

ok now waitlists

these can be a bit nerve wracking

PLEASE apply for the waitlist right away

at some schools if you dont within a couple days, your application might get thrown out

aaaaand rejections

i dont have a lot to say about this but please dont be too hard on yourself

sometimes its just not meant to be and thats ok!

NOW PICKING A COLLEGE

def the most difficult and mentally draining part for me lol

make sure you really map out everything to consider

net cost (tuition, room & board, books, travel, personal expenses, etc.), size, location, etc.

I personally had this idea that I’d end up at a big school far from home but I’m going to a small school close to home and I’m still super excited!!! So make sure you give every school a second look 

APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIPS!

the essays aren’t usually too bad and sometimes you can just rework your college app essays

you can find them online, your school might have some (like PTA scholarships, band scholarships, etc.)

ok this is the time everyone really gets senioritis

i almost didn’t get senioritis at all lol just because slacking off stressed me out

but please be smart about it dont get rescinded 

and lastly have fun! high school really does fly by, it’ll be over before you know it

[prettylittleg]

Lets catch up! Two graduations in Two weeks!

Wow. Its been awhile since I blogged. I think for over 9 month since I last blogged it seems. Lemme tell you, A LOT has happened. And can you believe it? We’re approaching 2018 in a month’s time! Still baffles me how quick time flies. LITERALLY. 

Well... to update you guys on what happened in my life these past few months, I finally graduated! Cant believe I went through 4 years of degree and I made it. I still cant believe it that I went through what I went through and still managed to finish my thesis.

THESIS.

I remember during my first year, the moment when I decided I wanted to take up Sociology, I was dreading the idea that I had to sit through thesis on my final year. I remember thinking, “damn, I dont think I can face the challenge of actually writing a thesis. I dont think I can write a book”. It literally is a book. Along with proper references and reviews, and academic writings and what not. Not to mention, the endless interviews and meet ups with literally (sorry to say) but lack of proper care and attention of a supervisor. I mean, I am thankful for all the insights and what not, but to compare his attentiveness for his students with other supervisors, and from what I hear, other supervisors were very much helpful, and hand-on esp with their students’ works.

But nonetheless, I went through what I went through and finished my ghad damn thesis. It was literally sucking up the living daylights out of me. It was all that I think about during my final year. I finally just “gave up” and concluded with the tiniest most shortest conclusions that has ever existed and hand in my thesis. Initially I wanted to put a legit hard cover for my thesis, but I dont know how or why but at that time, I opted for just a normal plastic covers. I think I was at that point in life where I just want to “get it over with”. I remember thinking and blaming myself, “why did I only gave out 70% of my effort and not 100% in my thesis?”. I remember complaining about this to Holden, and he just basically reassured me that I’ll be alright. He said, “70% is still something”.

Well.... I passed!

I honestly thought I was going to get at least a D for my thesis (or lack thereof)... but was pleasantly surprised to find out I got a B+! I mean, if I were to give out my 100% I would probably get an A!

But enough about that, I’m just going to post a few pictures of my graduation with a few friends here and there!

I am officially a Sociology & Anthropology’s major.

Now... I am in dire need of a job. A job that pays well. A job that is suitable for me. That qualifies for me.

Yknow... I find it somewhat embarrassing to be applying for a job that you know very well that you’re not going to get tbh. Believe you me, I have applied to every positions available there is that have been posted in JobCentre. From $800-$4000.

But yes, on a serious note, I pray everyday that I’ll get a job soon. I need to work to earn money for my expensive lifestyle (aka my braces) and also because I love to eat and I enjoy eating at a somewhat fancy restaurants (from time to time). Plus, I want to take care of my parents, I want to be able to shower my mom with ferragamo shoes that she’s always want, and cute handbags, and also to brighten up her world with cute grandchildren. -- but that, I need to find my other half first. That is an another story.

OH! I’m not the only one in the family who graduated this year! My older brother has graduated from OCS as well! Only a week before my convocation date! I am truly proud of my brother in all honesty, because, girl, the stories he tells us about his training and what not, I know for a fact that I will not survive even for a day in OCS.

I remember all of us have been anticipating on his Soverign Parade alone. So I kid you not when I tell you that I woke up at 430 in the morning and got ready soon after. Mind you the event doesnt start till at least 9AM? So safe to say we were the first family to actually arrive in OCS. haha

Well what can I say? We are a family of kiasus.

If I remember correctly, I think we left home right before 7AM and went straight to OCS... but thank goodness as we were literally the first, we get to sit right in the front row. So our kiasu-ness paid off. We got the best view I have to say.

OMG YES! We had the liberty to talk to His Majesty as well! It was actually my first time ever to be somewhat cornered by His Majesty (well not literally, mostly by the photographers as we were the last family he interviewed and took pictures with). My brother did most of the talking and he introduced us to OUR KING. OUR KING.

I remember he looked at me and asked, “Ani siapa?”. I just stared at him without even a crack of a smile plastered on my face. I was frozen at the fact that we made eye contact. LEGIT EYE CONTACT.

“This is my daughter, Aimi Nur’ Azimah. She’ll be graduating soon in UBD” .... and then I smiled. I mean its not all the time you get a face to face interaction with His Majesty, and with that I immediately offered my hand and we shook hands. It was literally the best day of my life.

[asuka--langley--soryu]

i'm interested in academic papers about anime! and not at all surprised that they exist, lol. can you recommend any?

My undergrad thesis is on cyborgs (not just in anime, but certainly referencing it reasonably often) so I have tons of references for academic anime papers, though all of them skew towards being about robots/robot women/sci-fi. I do have some divergent essays because I am, at the end of the day, a big fucking geek. Also! This is long! Sorry!! I’ll put the second half under a cut. 

My biggest rec for any academic work about anime is the journal ‘Mechademia’ put out by the University of Minnesota. There is about 10 volumes as of right now, and there are some really interesting essays on a pretty wide variety of subjects. Not everything about it is perfect (literally their current CFP subject is ‘queering’ and while that seems like it could be fine the description makes me….nervous. Also, some of the writing is kind of bad), but its convenience has made it my best research friend in the past few weeks. All the current journals are available on project MUSE. Some of the papers I’ve enjoyed so far are: 

My Father, He Killed Me; My Mother, She Ate Me: Self, Desire, Engendering, and the Mother in Neon Genesis Evangelion by Mariana Ortega (this is the one I was talking about in my tag! Fully not the last word in nge critique but an interesting perspective. Also, I love the title a lot.)

Topologies of Identity in Serial Experiments Lain by Craig Jackson 

Emotional Inefectivity: Cyborg Affect and the Limits of the Human by Sharalyn Orbaugh 

An Unholy Alliance of Eisenstein and Disney: The Fascist Origins of Otaku Culture by Ōtsuka Eiji (Not completely finished with this yet but so far…wow) 

The Girl at the End of Time: Temporality, (P)remediation, and Narrative Freedom in Puella Magi Madoka Magica by Forrest Greenwood (this paper argues for the use of ‘game time’ elements in Madoka, which is not something i’ve ever seen argued before. Not sure how convinced I am, but I still think its worth a read) 

These are the ones that I found particularly noteworthy, whether that be for the strength of their writing or that I thought their perspective was unique. Also, as a rule, I don’t agree with like…every single thing in all of these papers. Some of them I’m not even done with, or have significant criticisms of. I do think they’re worth reading, but i’m not like…officially endorsing every single word. 

Outside of like frantic searching on google scholar, one of my favourite ways to find more papers is to mine the sources of the ones I already like. If any of the articles in Mechademia interest you, I would take a look at their works cited and make your way through the ones that sound fun.  

More recs under the cut! 

Outside of Mechademia, I like these articles as well: 

Stylistic Crossings: Cyberpunk Impulses in Anime by Jane Chi Hyun Park

 https://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2014/07/ghost-in-the-shell-the-majors-body-1/ (this is actually a series of blog posts! I don’t always love the writing here, but I can’t fault the careful, thorough analysis)

Bodies of future memories: the Japanese Body in Science Fiction Anime by Dolores Martinez

The ethics of Sekai-kei by Christopher Howard (this is from volume 7, issue 3 of the Science Fiction film and Television journal which was the ‘anime issue’. Haven’t investigated it too far beyond this paper and one on Tokyo Cyberpunk but might be worth checking into!)

Actually, while i’m on the topic, Tokyo Cyberpunk by Steven Brown is an great book on SF anime. 

Robot Ghosts and Wired Dreams is a book of collected essays, excerpts of which I have found incredibly useful (because I dont have the full book yet :/ ). Specifically, When the Machine Stops by Susan Napier is a really wonderful analysis of Lain and NGE. I’ve been reading through it today and like it a lot so far! 

Prince Charming by Day, Superheroine by Night? Subversive Sexualities and Gender Fluidity in Revolutionary Girl Utena and Sailor Moon by Catherine EBailey (I came across this one for a conference I spoke at like 2~ years ago so I can’t recall everything about it anymore. I remember liking it then though!)  

Magic, Shōjo, and Metamorphosis: Magical Girl Anime and the Challenges of Changing Gender Identities in Japanese Society by Kumiko Saito (also for a paper I did a while ago, but I still like this one.) 

I could go on but this is already kind of obnoxious! I will also probably mess with this over the next few days and add stuff because I’m constantly doing research lately and love sharing interesting reading!

As a final note, I will say that a lot of these papers are available to me only bc i’m at a university and get a subscription to a lot of databases. It may be more difficult for you to access these kind of works if you don’t have that, but I’m certain that there are ways to get around these kind of things. Also, if you are really really curious and can’t find a rip or anything anywhere, I know so many writers will just send you their papers if you email them. And i’m aware that sounds horrifying but like… if theyre writing academic papers about anime I’m pretty fucking certain they aren’t too intimidating. 

Thank you for this question!! I had waaaaY too much fun doing this. 

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Movie Reviews (2020)

It's the new year which means everything is new, change has come except for the movies and making reviews, of course.

I ended 2019 almost 90 reviews.

Wow. I did 90 effin reviews with words I dont know if they made sense to anyone. To be honest, I had watched more than a hundered last year but I just decided to make a review at rhe quarter of the year. If I really made reviews with all that movies, I would be really proud of myself!

So, this 2020... I'd like to there will be a whole new twist because well, it's the new year. I want to challenge myself. Actually, it's my workmate's idea. He showed me this 2020 challenge for bookworms (that I also want to try but I need to find a lot of time if I want to do it too). It's like a bucket list of what you want to read out of your comfort zone and I would try it with movies.

But I dont know what challenges I would like to give myself. I'll see if the other movie or whatever we called ourselves who likes movies if they also did the same thing..

And to start off...

This movie might not be new but some would say it's classic.

1. I Want To Eat Your Pancreas

It's a japanase anime movie full of heart. The title seems gross but the meaning of it is way out of your imagination. Japanese production has the best soundtrack and tear-jearking stories. You might know what will happen but you might not.

I am in search of movie to be my inspiration for my story and I just found one. I love how deep the words goes and how the friendship of the characters blossom.

You'll hate and love them at the same time.

It was worth not watching when I often see them in someone's movie list because this choice led me to make this movie my story inspiration.

Because everything is a choice. Your choice.

Rate: 10/10

If you cant handle tearful and too mucb drama movies, I suggest you try all kinds of genre. Every genre is worth too watch. It has their own uniqueness and creativity and it's really incredible.

And that's what I like about movies.

Ooookay. That's my first review! Can I really make 100 reviews now this year? And also, I'll make the list of the movie challenge and post it here.

But first, I need to internalize tonight because we have a meeting with the boss of our company. And I dont know what to do. I think I'm back in college again, feeling antsy about our thesis defense. And the problems is...how will I prepare if I'm sleepy already.

Ha. I'm doomed.

To sleep or to....sleep?

:(

Dont mind me. Keep scrolling.

And Happy New Year!

---

It was not posted last night...so update today, I was dumb-founded throughout the meeting. Although I understand the whole meeting, I'm having a hard time taking all the information inside my itsy-bitsy brain. I feel like going to explode anytime. I dont know why I'm like this.

[yusrayulianti-blog]

Hmm why not let the people here who been following me idk since when know me a bit . I guess through this platform I am lucky that I actually have more time to draw this month and have bunch of books to read. I think I should let it out there that there's of course lots of challenge to read and being specific here to write my thesis lol . I like to keep in mind that sometimes its fine to take a long break and keep on working but then something hits me like when I dont feel like doing anything I would just draw as an escape of this fana world . Owh yeah lets go back to what you see on the picture I just poested! Questioning who drew that @selenagomez looking gemez gal? Yup I did . I was the one who drew that anyways I will also show you the old sketches of her when I was having a tough times back in high school ( bc shs kind of sucks for me ) . Dont even know why I feel the need to post 'em beside I have nothing to post then here it is( swipe more sketches ) . - second part - • •

[lorrainecparker]

Filmmaker Friday featuring Filmmaker Joseph Adams

With hundreds of careers and opportunities, the filmmaking industry can be a unique experience for a filmmaker. Filmtools decided to take a deeper look into the world of a filmmaker. This week, we had the opportunity to speak to filmmaker Joseph Adams about his work. This is what he said:

    What is your name and where are you from?

Joseph Adams: Joseph Adams, Los Angeles.

Primary role on set?

Joseph Adams: Behind the scenes photographer and videographer, but I was once called Cinematographer of the Behind the Scenes. I like that title a little more.

Person in the industry that is on the top of his or her game in your role.

Joseph Adams: This is a hard question. I feel like a lot of BTS is being that fly on the wall. You don’t hear much about many individual people who work in this field. People like  Nicole Wilder, Helen Sloan or Justin M. Lubin, you have seen so many of their pictures but might not know who they are.

If you had to impress someone with your work, what would be the most “well-known” content that you’ve worked on? 

Joseph Adams: I’ve worked on a few unbelievable projects this last year. We just wrapped one of my favorite projects so far MGM’s “Stargate Orgins” This is a prequel to the 1994 movie “Stargate” I was hired to do BTS stills and video by an amazing production company, Vanishing Angle. We shot for 24 days and  just wrapped last month.

  Best craft services food?

Joseph Adams: I am a sucker for dried mangos. I try and eat healthy but they make it so difficult to do  so.

What’s the coolest project you’ve worked on before?

Joseph Adams: I have worked on some super cool projects. Every time I think it can’t get any better then the last, the next film set always raises the bar.  But if I had to choose it has to be a tie between a Sia music video with Maddie Zigler or a music video with violinist Lindsey Stirling. Lindsey Stirling was the sweetest and most fun person I’ve ever met. We traveled up to Vasquez Rocks, had little robots, dancing, and all the cast and crew were a blast to work with.

  The set for Sia was unreal. We had a giant projection, the floor was all water, we even had water raining down and watching Maddie Zigler dance with all these elements was breathtaking.

When you arrive at set, What’s the first thing you do?

Joseph Adams: When I first arrive on set, I like to walk around to explore the space and introduce myself while getting to know anyone that I have not worked with before. This gives me a better idea of what and who  I am working with. This also helps to  make few new friends.

Whats the first thing you do on set?

Joseph Adams: Pretty similar to what I said above. I also like to find breakfast. I’m a grumpy person if I don’t eat.

How did you break into this industry?

Joseph Adams: I’ve always known I would work in this industry. I moved to Los Angeles three years ago after I graduated from college in Ohio . I only knew a few people out here including my roommates, funny enough ALL five of us went to high school together. I have always been one to jump in the deep end so when I got out here I bought a 5D Mark III in hopes to create my own content and see where that goes. I knew a couple people who were working on productions at UCLA that asked if I wanted to help out with their film thesis. I was eager to help out and thought, why not bring my camera to document everything? From there everything just came together, I was gaining more experience, creating more connections and figuring out where I wanted my path to take me.

What challenges have you faced?

Joseph Adams: This could be a huge list, but I’ll try and keep it simple. Every day is a challenge. I come from absolutely nothing but the passion of wanting to work in this industry and trust me working in this industry isn’t glamours as people normally think. There are so many ups and down, long hours, and time is always against you. The biggest issue is finding work and the grind can wear you down,  but take all those challenges and learn from them no matter how good or bad things get. Finding the balance between what you can do and should do.

Do you have a piece of essential gear that you don’t leave without?

Joseph Adams: Besides the necessary equipment I need to do my job I wouldn’t leave home without a good camera bag. I actually got my cinebag from Filmtools. Staying organized is key on set. Time is against you and even wasting a moment looking for something can mean not getting that shot you wanted. A great Cinebag makes all the difference.

Current TV obsession?

Joseph Adams: I have recently found Mr. Robot and can’t get enough of this show. I love the  cinematography and the overall script is amazing.

Do you binge-watch new shows or pace them out?

Joseph Adams: I try and pace them out just so I can really digest and appreciate what happens.

What piece of gear do you have your eye on?

Joseph Adams: I have been looking into a set of anamorphic lens by Atlas. I am hoping to develop my  own look and start new career path into the director of photography world.

Camera – Should you own or rent?

Always rent an expensive camera. Technology quickly changes so by the next year rolls around its already outdated. It always depends on your situation but from my experience you should rent.

Lenses – Should you own or rent?

Joseph Adams: If you are going to invest in anything I would put your money in lenses. Lenses will normally  hold their value. The biggest example is, even in the huge budget world, they still use lenses that are 30 or more years old.

What is your preferred camera system? Lenses?

Joseph Adams: For my personal use I have always been a fan of Canon. For bigger budget I love the  look and feel of Arri and a great set of anamorphic lenses.

  What are you currently working on?

Joseph Adams: I’ve always have personal projects going on. My roommate and high school friend opened an escape room last year, Evil Genius Escape rooms. This escape room is very story driven, each room is connected  like a chapter to a book. It has been very successful and we plan to create a prequel feature film involving the story. I am also working behind the scenes for Aputure starting in the new year.

What advice would you give to people interested in this industry

Joseph Adams: The biggest advice is to never give up. Learn from your mistakes and keep pushing  yourself to break boundaries. Nothing happens overnight, it takes a lot of work and if you dont see yourself doing anything different then go for it, let nothing hold you back. (Another small tip is never let anyone take advantage of you. Know your worth and stand up for yourself if that time ever comes.)

Where can people follow you on social?

Joseph Adams: You can always see my work on my Instagram @adamsjoe330 I also change my  website constantly as my skills sharpen. www.josephtadams.com

    Want to be featured as a Filmmaker?

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