#i dont really like
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How to tell if you're developing/having a parasocial relationship, or you just admire the person a lot? I need help, I can't figure it out
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Followers?
#i dont really like#form relationships much like others#so i cant really answer this#proshippers against censorship#jackal barks#proship please interact#proshippers please interact#proship positivity#proship#proshipper safe#proshipping#proshipper#anti anti#ask#asks#no stance
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yknow i never noticed the sheer rareness of images having ids or alt text on this website until i started adding alt text to my art (and trying to remember to add it to any images i post in general, especially text screenshots) and that makes me kinda sad
#i used to be pretty intimidated by the idea of having to describe my art but. it isnt as hard as it sounds#i just treat it like im describing an image i dont have at the time really#plus ive been told that even a simple id is better than no id#lev.txt
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casual blue crab miku doodle
#digital art#art#hatsune miku#miku#i dont feel tied to specific region so take crab#my miku designs really be like#the metal the flesh the divine (crab)#doodle#crab
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nothinggg better than torturing an emotionally repressed character until every single trauma they've ever refused to process starts spilling uncontrollably out of the cracks. like a matryoshka doll situation of repressed trauma and baby you better believe i'm going in there with a hammer
#'literal or metaphorical hammer' yes.#anyway 23k in and i finally got to the comfort part of hurt/comfort✌️#aphelion.txt#whump#really feeling that one post thats like. I interact with fiction normally. dont look at my blog#my writing
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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The start Sadly can't have ghost fun without dying 😢 RIP Stanley
2 seconds before
#my stuff#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanley pines#stanford pines#i have to spell check frankenstein every time goddamnit#i dont like drawing from fords perspective its just sad#not that this really is his pov but other times#frankenghost au
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do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
#on love#aroace experiences#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#aroacespec#sunbloom talks#<3#just late night revelations#i like love and i love people :)#edit: loveless aros friendly btw#i think that's what i meant when i said love but not really all those months ago#“incredible fondness” is the phrase i really like instead of love#people need to stop coming onto this post being like “nO!! this IS love!!!” shut up you dont know me. maybe it is maybe its not#this was about personal experiences and it blew up somehow unfortunately lol
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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#mha#bkdk#bakudeku#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#my art#bnha#bnha fanart#mha fanart#lore is that this is established relationship bkdk but like early days#izuku really should give him a key atp but hes working his way up to it#his neighbors are starting to get concerned#i drew the floorplan for his entire apartment complex just to only draw one room#teacher!izuku#PH!katsuki#he's just getting off his patrol shift#dont ask me why i put most of my effort into the top view of his desk#i made a 3d model of it in blender bc i couldnt conceptualize how the lighting would work wit h so many sources
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identity reveals are always fun
#batcave search history that night: friend has no name. atlantis naming conventions. atlantian names. r there birth certificates in atlantis#theyre so fun to draw guys im sick with it#also: everyone thinking 'But his name is Garth'#I know that and YOU know that but he doesn't until like..... a few years later. canonically#Unnamed Youth 'Aqualad' No Last Name#and arthur does call him both minnow and tadpole so wally n dick r both right in their own ways#and for ppl who really dont know. garth was abandoned as an infant and didnt hang w anyone until arthur took him in lol. what a life#and arthur girl...... was aqualad the best and only u could do#teen titans#fab five#donna troy#wally west#dick grayson#garth of shayeris#roy harper#dc#dc comics#my art#everyone hangin by the salt water pool so garth can hang w them :]
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average friend gathering experience
#i dont have a witty caption for this but i just really like this picture#grae text#bug#bugs#hall of fame
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Can't be me I am way too ugly for you if we are honest
id rather you let me decide that babes x
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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[⚠️The Amazing Digital Circus SPOILERS] This episode was interesting!
#i REALLY like gummigoo#im just into characters who realize theyre in a fictional world and become self-aware dont mind me la la la~#anyway i like the guy and he's a very interesting character#a bit disappointed at what happened to him at the end though#but hey i'll take what i can get#this episode was unexpectedly sweet considering the chaos of the first episode#pomni realizing that she wasnt alone in this was really nice#the amazing digital circus#digital circus#amazing digital circus#the digital circus#the amazing circus#tadc#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#tadc jax#tadc kinger#tadc gummigoo#my drawing museum
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i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one
his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.
ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication
ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#shuro dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#toshiro nakamoto#dont get me wrong i understand relating to a character and hating whoever wrongs them cause youre protective or you relate really hard#but i think toshiros been getting the short end of the stick for a long time now 😭#even his love for falin is misunderstood#he literally states all the reasons he likes her#and none of them are superficial#but hes so closed off and has such difficulty expressing himself that instead of asking her out or smth he just#proposed to her out of the blue 😭#leading a lot of ppl to just assume that he went 'white woman spotted' and proposed#do Not misunderstand me i am#a HUGE farcille stan#obviously#but i dont think toshiros feelings are surface level and i think theyre absolutely crucial to understanding him and his motivations#as a character in this story
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Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)
*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.
This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.
#sparks art#comic#angel#robot#my art#my comics#keeper: the angel#keeper: the lighthouse keeper#my ocs#hoogh. this was a grind yall lmao. but i am pleased with it#i hope you enjoy :pray: also keep your fingers crossed for me that this wins the contest#like it. it wont. because i am up against actual SEQA kids that know what theyre doing. and i dont actually mind really#but it would be funny#long post#very long post#sorry#i hope the readmore works
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