#i dont personally use those words for me bc i dont find them useful

[onlyfangz]

trans men are being raped and murdered and oppressed by a system that doesnt fucking care about them and youre all getting in a twist about the language they choose to describe those experiences with. i need you, and i mean this, to get a fucking grip.

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[skunkes]

yeah i mentioned this in the tags but still wanted to post it instead of deleting so i could get those other thoughts out too, which are like...its insane to still be using this as Bait ykwim? equal parts "i know this isnt true in the slightest so im not bothered" and "it is almost 2024, come on"

[snekdood]

Ill probably never know if i have native american in me and even if i did find out i probably wouldnt be welcome but even if its not true thats not going to stop me from respecting the land and the native people who have come before me and to try to make them proud in the best way i can. I want them to know that someone cares, idk.

[noellefan101]

Not Replaceable

Characters: Alhaitham x GN reader

ft Kaveh and a weighted blanket(bc you can't tell me alhaitham wouldn't sleep with it, and that hes not autistic).

Warnings: not proofread, and definitley ooc but whatever

Note: this is heavily inspired by a fic i saw some months ago, but i cant remember their username and its kinda sad :(

he's been staring at your back for 30 minutes now, you seriously promised it would be dry tomorrow, its the best you can do.

"Haitham.. do you need anything?".

"you already know what i need…".

you looked at the man, and you sweared he looked like a kicked puppy, all because you had to wash his blanket today. you feel sorry for him, but it had to be done.

"yes, i do. but you can't sleep with a," you tried once again to convince him "a big wet piece of cloth" to just try and sleep without it.

"you could also just take multible blankets and stack them, or try to be a normal person like the rest of us" ah, Kaveh walked in, probably to get another cup of coffee, and to annoy Haitham as usual.

"not the same" Alhaitham said almost immediately after Kaveh had spoke, "it doesn't weigh enough, all the ones we have are too light for me to do that" you guess he's right, since it isn't the best to have too many layers of warmth in sumeru's heat.

you and alhaitham dont have that many blankets combined anyway, unless Kaveh woul- "alright! whatever, just dont take all mine like you did last time!" guess he already said no to that option then.

"i didn't take all of yours, just a few, you still had one left" i mean, he is kind of right, as much as you didnt want to agree with that at the moment.

"uggghhh… im going now, solve that yourselves" Kaveh spoke, walking out of the room with a new coffee mug in hand.

"love, are you sure you dont want to just try with the multible blankets?" you wanted to try just one more time, even though you were sure it wasnt going to actually convince him.

"yes" alright, then you dont have any other ideas. so you tried to brainstorm some more, though none would fix the actual problem at hand.

"i could make you some tea? or you could jsut read until you feel tired?" you wanted to help him so bad, but nothing just seemed like it would work. since yours was way too light, and you cant really go out and buy another on eofr him right now.

and his still shouldn't be dry enough to use. "no" he said as you gave out a sigh, you wanted so badly to give up on trying to find a replacement. but you still couldn't let yourself do it, you still wanted to help him actually sleep today.

"are you… sure nothing can work as a replacement, even just for today?" you're sure you looked so defeated at the moment, but it didn't matter now.

"…" silence huh? maybe he's thinking about it, or maybe he gave up as well. you cant really tell, and you're too tired to try understand what's behind those pretty eyes right now.

so you guess you should just-"lay on me" did you hear that right?? "what?" you cant do anything but question him. too focused on figuring what he was trying to do, or if you heard the wrong thing.

"i know you heard me, lay on me" so you weren't just hearing his words incorrectly, "but why would that help?".

"you weigh about enough to work as a weighted blanket" you looked at him surprised, "…excuse me?" you cant help but feel a little annoyed at him. although you knew what he meant know.

"i didn't mean it like that, i swear" he quickly spoke back. coming closer to you, looking worried that he had used the wrong words.

"its okay, im messing with you. i know you wouldn't actually mean it like that" you smiled smugly, letting out a little whimper as he picked you up without warning.

you looked up at him, confused, "i-i," you stuttered out yet couldnt finish the sentence before you felt him pull you in closer to him. "i can walk on my own you know!" it wasnt quite what you had wanted to say, but it would do.

he just looked at you and shrugged then put you gently down on the bed, and then he was laying beside you the moment it had come to you that he put you down.

you both looked right at each other once again, now face to face, in a silence you couldnt quite say was nice but it wasnt unpleasant either. well before he spoke up anyway, "are you going to move or do i have to?".

"huh?" you had already forgot why you were back in your bedroom by now, too focused on his eyes to care at the moment. "okay, i'll lift you up then" oh right, that it why you're here.

"sorry, w-wait atleast give me a warning first!" you wimpered out quickly as he took you up by your torso and put you down onto his chest. "i did give you a warning." you pouted at that.

"not a good enough warning, smartass" you clearly tried to sound stern, as if it mattered at all. but by the way your lips curled up and you just cuddled in closer to him, you clearly didnt mind.

it had been about 10 minutes by now, and you were fast asleep, although alhaitham wasnt quite yet. he was tired, yes, but maybe he had focused too much on you being right there than actually sleeping.

he wasnt complaining, dont get me wrong, but maybe it wasnt the smartest to have you on him when he wasnt suposed to focus on you. you just looked so pretty all curled up on his chest while still trying to cover him up as much as you could, even in your dreams.

he will fall asleep soon, just let him enjoy your sleeping form a little longer.

and yes, he should get a second weighted blanket, but he won't. because he now hopes gets to enjoy a moment like this every time the blanket has to be washed.

thx for reading, this is a very weird whatever but im trying to cook something up i just cant cook rn-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[greg-montgomery]

hey fay! I hope you're having a beautiful mornin

I am here to request like SWOONING hotch, touchstarved, red-cheeked, brain shortcircuited hotch, who is left a puddle by reader's lingering touches at the office.

I feel like if y/n was the type to just grab him by the hand when they need to show him something, the type to cradle the back of his head with their hand whenever they pull him in for their signature hugs, the type to casually doze off on HIS SHOULDER 😳🚨 he would simply be putty in their hands, he's just enamoured every time they open their mouth and say HIS NAME? HIS? and if they gave him his very own nickname like not even aaron not hotch but a personal nickname because THEY think about HIM enough to think he needs his own special word (personally I imagine they call him beam and he never knows why - but its bc when he smiles, like really smiles that gorgeous face thats nothing but smile lines and dimples ear-to-ear, he's beaming, he's a beamer, its just what he does. I. dont make the rules).

basically i would love to just read about lovely little hotch to get butterflies and blush and be enamoured by somebody, and of course reader is clueless bc they think thats just how he is but NO when they touch him he feels sparks and he'll follow them like a magnet, its this force they have on him, he's just a willing participant in any aspect of their life they're willing to let him see.

i would totally get if this was not your vibe or not something you want to write/elaborate on but GOD i need more swooning hotch in my life

bestie i'm embarassing late to this 😭 you're just so sweet - if you read this pls tell me you saw it lmfao <3 ily

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Aaron!”

Hearing the sound of his first name coming from your lips made him pause for a second. Impatient from watching him standing there frozen, you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the direction you wanted his attention at.

“Come on, look at this. I found his son’s drawings. This could give us some insight of what their relationship looks like,” you explained, but Aaron was unable to pay any attention to your words, as your hand was still holding his.

“Beam, are you listening to me?”

Here goes that nickname again, he thought. He would sell his soul to find out what that nickname meant. He had asked you about it before, but your only response was a sneaky smile. A smile he would do anything for.

“Sorry,” he said. “I was distracted.”

“That’s okay,” you answered, softly. “I know our last case was tough and we jumped into the next one without having a chance to recover first.”

Aaron was grateful you assumed that the cause of his distraction was the last case and not your beautiful face, and even though you weren’t necessarily correct, his heart still melted at your comforting words.

“Yeah,” he simply said, and nodded.

“Well, you can always talk to me if you want. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

--

You wrapped up the case quickly so you flied back home that same night. Everyone on the jet was already asleep, except for the two of you.

Aaron was lucky enough to have been chosen as the one you sat next to, and his heart hadn’t calmed down for a second.

He felt embarrassed by the feeling of butterflies in his stomach just because his crush sat next to him, but he was glad his heart could still feel those emotions.

“Can I?” you sweet voice interrupted his thoughts.

As he turned to look at you, he saw you pointing at his shoulder; you were asking for permission to fall asleep on him. As if he’d ever say no to you.

“Of course you can,” he said, almost breathless.

“Thank you, beamy,” you grinned as you let your head fall on his shoulder, and it was impossible for him not to smile too.

His smile grew bigger when you turned your head slightly to look up at him.

“That’s why you’re my beam,” you whispered.

“What?”

“Everyone says you never smile, but I see you smile all the time. And when you do you’re just beaming. You light up the whole room, no joke.”

“Stop,” he laughed, unable to keep his cheeks from blushing.

“It’s true!”

“You’re usually the reason why,” he admitted.

His words got you shy, he could tell, but you wrapped your arm around him and snuggled closer in the crook of his neck. “That’s the biggest compliment I’ve ever been given,” you mumbled against his neck.

Aaron breathed out a laugh, and it was his turn to wrap his arms around you, making sure there was not even an inch of space between your bodies.

[gogolstoelicker]

Dorm leaders with a Razor!MC

a/n: totally lost the pookie who asked for this but if by some miracle yk its you, pls dont beat me up for taking so long </3 /j

also if tumblr did smth weird with the bullet points again, point ur guns at the app

its one week before my exams so im using my adrealine for smth!!

You are generally good-natured person who considers your wolf pack your family and becomes enraged if they are hurt by other parties. You love your wolf family but dislike the fact that you aren't fully like them. You considered the few humans you do encounter to be your friends and are willing to protect them from danger if it means sacrificing your and your pack's dinner for the night. You are a quick thinker. You are also honest and forthright due to your limited exposure to human life. You are not used to speaking and only speak in short phrases and words, finding it troublesome, but you continue nonetheless.

Riddle

my mans stopping you like this to take a look at your uniform

pookie, youre a lil messy rn -he said this in anger, I'm just giving you the nicer version

its ok, he helped you clean up a lil after!!

u absolutely trying not to mess up the collar and tie up bcs its so uncomfortable:😢😔

it always goes back to the messy version as soon as hes out of sight or its half the day already

he wont find out (i lied he absolutely did)

he can always count on u to tell him the truth should your friends ever do smth bad

"broke. chair." while pointing at ace and deuece

they have tears in their eyes as riddle approach them

honestly some of ur behaviour makes him go⁉️

fr thought u were a beastman or smth

then found out youre just a human whos lived with wolves their whole life

FUCKEKEKE REMEMBER THAT TIME IN HIS OVERBLOT WHEN HE WAS TALKING ABT PARENTS

u being an orphan as he goes on with his speech: /JOKE

ace beats his ass up for u its ok

him trying to figure out how they didnt try to eat u🤔

he didnt try to stop u but that wont mean he wont go😅😅

ALSO eat ur veggies pls

hes chasing u around heartslabyul trying to make u eat a wee bit of carrots

Leona

"veggies:( bad:(" "so real"

^ur real time convo

whenever youre given food with veggies, u pass it off to leona

leona then pass it to ruggie who then muched it off

he absolutely told u to give ruggie any veggies btw (free food for the man‼️)

ruggie is forever happy to receive free food

he actually thought u were a beastman too because of your scent

"r u a jack kinnie?" he would ask (he didnt ask it like that)

turns out you just got raised by them

idk savanaclaw might be an ok? place for u? considering most of them r beastman there

like its not even surprising to see u practicing with them every morning anymore

ruggie dragged both u and leona by the collar to practice btw

"im all the way in ramshackle" leona surprise adopted u to savanaclaw, dont resist /J

u surprisingly get along well with him‼️‼️

leona acting like he doesnt care abt the youngsters👴🙄 (hes failing)

he totally didnt take a nap with you in his usual spots, no who did that?? pft not him

no he did NOT save u from accidentally getting hurt by your friend's troubles btw no

also, he did not mind that you do not talk much

the less words the better for him!! he encourages this (he got beat up later by the people who thinks otherwise)

Azul

youre so simple, azul actually had a great time

"pls sign this contract to save ur friends" "ok:)"

well youre homeless now (not rlly u have a home in savanaclaw)

yk those super villains laughing evilly everytime their plans r going so well?? thats azul

he didnt even need to put many efforts in trying to trick u, u just go thumbs up at him

he does not feel bad btw

he does not care if youre a beastman or not. a business opportunity is all you'll ever be to him

maybe a friend too but you'll need to unlock friendship level 10 for that

can wolves swim underwater, im sayign yes for plot reasons

anyways u came back from trying to get the painting(?) picture (?) like a wet dog

im saying nonsense rn i think i need sleep its almost 1am

he threw his head back 90° to laugh dramatically at how u reminded him of a wet dog

this is a joke, do not come for me

honestly he had to drag u away from the lounge once bcs u tried catching the fishes in the aquarium

"MF LEAVE MY FISHES TF ALONE IF U WANT TO LIVE" is what he wouldve said if hes not a professional businessman

he is a professional guys do not worry💯

honestly, he is pretty ? that you had trouble speaking

after finding out its bcs youve been isolated from the human things, he kind of goes🤔

the business in his head is controlling him before he can stop them😖🫣

would u like a potion from him to help u with that problem<33

honestly head empty rn

Kalim

rhey all thought you were a beastman and he is not an exception

is def surprised bcs ur ass howled one time at a full moon

he witnessed that, he had the front row seat as witness

he lets u do ur thing its ok

even asked u if its family tradition HELP /J

"oh man u have such fluffy hair"

he said before trying to touch it and realising its literally tangled all over

him and jamil whos right next to him

were u raised in a barn??

kalim assumed theres no hairbrush in ramshackle

u dont have to worry bro, kalim is more than happy to stock u up with some hairbrush

"oh its nothing much dont worry😊🙏‼️" the literal gold handles on the hairbrush:

u dont have to worry abt not speaking much, he speaks enough for the both of u

he spoke such strange things u dont understand him sometimes

u just nod along and gave him thumbs up

its like sun and moon but the moon is confused /j

if youre sleeping outside, he will join u btw

he brought his pillows and blanket out to have a small sleepover with u

jamil had a mini heart attack when he went to wake kalim up in the morning to see hes missing from his bed

Vil

vil when be sees u

yk how yall lived in pomefiore for a bit after the idia thing??

yeah he polished u up so much bro

u came into the dorm looking like someone abandoned u so youe only option was to live in the jungle with the help of ur jungle friends and have survived through the way of the mammals since u were an infant

and u came out looking like a brand new person

u came out of the dorm looking like u got new skin that its literally shining under light, ur hair softer and no longer tangled and no more eyebags and u smell like flowers

vil wiping his forehead after a job well done😊🙏

also he was pretty shocked when he found out u were pretty isolated from the human norms or whatever

he did try his best to break you bad habits, like literally running in mud

he also helped u with like speaking problems?

he got u a whole dictionary in case u dont know the word bro

also fix ur uniform for ueach time u try to loosen it up because its too suffocating for u

if u try to loosen it up one more time, he'll add the veggies in ur plate

he absolutely does makes u eat ur veggies

he'll tie u down a chair and make u eat them even

/j he wouldnt. he have rook to help him with that

Idia

him after he fixed ur dorm with the greatest and newest updated quality just for u to sleep outside

he gets it, youve been raised this way

but he just fixed it for u bro😢😢cant u at least sleep in there

grim sleeps in diff rooms every day bcs of the upgrade and u did this?? /j

oh well at least the outside kind of looks better now too he guess....

u dont even use the tv, u dont know how it works

"people in there real?" "? no ?"

he beats u in every video games ever because u literally could not keep up with technology

hes slaying everyone and youre wondering how to make ur character walk the way u wanted them to

u accidentally drowned somehow in the video game

he feels a tad bit bad for u

he cant bond much with u because like

hes quiet, youre quiet

hes a modern dude, u dont even know whats a phone

he likes video games, u prolly like hunting for food

if you two r in a room together, the only people who r talking r literally the wind

"whoosh whoosh whoosh🌬" whoosh whoosh🌪

Malleus

he spoke enough for the both of u (its abt gargoyles)

he actually spoke so much confusing words for u

u looked at him like 😃🫨 (ur head is spinning and u r dying)

u can always ask him if u dont understand tho

he will explain in another paragraph but its ok, at least u understand now

barely actually

ur brain hurts and its fried from talking to him since he use big words

he did try to use simpler words for u!!

oh u two can kind of bond i think

youre both not familiar with technology so it will work well

u know those faces grandparents make when looking through new technologies

like the eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowed look with thag confused look

yeah thats the both of u

u both try to figure it out together (it did not work out)

yall asked lilia for help

peepaw is into the trends, he can help the both of u dont worry!!

he saw how messy you could be sometimes and went damn

he'll fix u up with magic its ok

show me funny things, magic man

anyways its a habit of his to fix anything in ur appearance whenever u have ur nighty walks

like u have this dirt on ur white uniform? say no more.

theres a damned branch in ur hair (dont ask how u got that) and its tangled in ur hair?? he got u pookie

part of ur clothes r literally ripped off because god's knows what youve been doing in your free time??? u dont even need to ask bbg

[lunar-serpentinite]

assorted hjp headcanons

he takes to guitars like a bird to the sky. acoustic, bass, electric, you name it, he'd slay it

he eventually finds a way to force kreacher into retirement, but still lets the house elf have absolutely free reign in the former bedrooms of his beloved departed masters

harry has this habit of just picking up all the even mildly pathetic/helpless strays he finds on the streets and ends up raising them. 12 grimmauld place looks a lot like a menagerie now, and he kinda likes it

he went to luna for help on how to take care of his newfound animal roommates and thats how he befriended luna's then-penpal-turned-bf rolf scamander

eventually he moves to a quaint little cottage right outside of godrics hollow to be closer to his parents' final resting place. it's heavily warded, fidelius'd, and nobody except for ron, hermione and luna know the address

he never really did like living in a gated community / suburban neighbourhood, it reminded him too much of privet drive

the first time someone mocked him by calling him freak, harry blacked out a bit and the next thing he knew he was standing over a decently beat-up person

creatures associated w death like corvids, moths and the like are weirdly attracted to him. hell, he even found a whole vulture in his backyard once

harry is pretty apathetic about the notion of his own death post-battle of hogwarts. he told luna once that it felt like he was just idly waiting by for death to come by again

differences aside, he and pansy (my characterisation of her anyways) wld bond over being nosy, gossipy little shits

he would've said yes if cedric and cho invited him into their relationship lmao

i dont think hes necessarily a naturally jealous/possessive person. he just doesn't know how to properly have a grip on himself if the few scant ppl and stuff that he considers his are in danger of being taken away from him, born from trauma from the dursleys ofc. make him feel secure enough and he'd be chill

hes kinda shit at potions especially without proper instructions and motivation because he learned how to cook first, and potions deals w exact measurements while cooking is just measure based on vibes

he would make an excellent beekeeper. idk but he just gives me that vibe

harry's vibe checks are rarely wrong but he doesn't say anything abt em anymore bc hes used to ppl automatically assuming that hes a liar

"harry, why didnt u tell us" "you didnt ask. and if u did ask, youd probably assume im lying"

hes a bit of a hoarder lmao he has a small room in his new cottage thats just filled w his trinkets

he has absolutely no qualms in lying to everyone's faces if he thinks he's justified based on his own criteria of justice

he cant dance those fancy formal dances but at some point he will discover that he likes other types of dancing, just not in front of other people

harry would abuse the FUCK out of slang so he can say as little words as possible. his convo partner is confused but he also doesnt like them ? theyre a grownup with access to books, they can figure it out by themselves

[the4n4juggalo]

redoing this because i accidentally deleted it lol

hiya, my name is anon! with the help of my friend em and another friend on the inside, we expose predators on edblr and report them to our predator masterlist.

to be clear, while we are pro-recov, we donot post ed content we only really post when we find another predator. which you can find from our #whoop whoop tag (cos, thats the sound of the police, and i guess we're the police?)

you can report a predator by going into our inbox or by going into our dms, preferably with screenshots. it means a lot to us to see this community come together to help people and this account wouldn't be what it is without yall so i am eternally grateful to everyone who even interacts because it really boosts the blog to those who need it

outside of that, if you ever have just any questions in general, hit us up in our inbox. it'd be interesting to get to know each other!

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btw, im deleting all the ignorant comments on here, im not gonna correct yall or block yall, im just gonna delete them bc aint noone got time for that

if you twist my words to turn this post into me being an asshole i will not bend over backwards so you understood what i very clearly said

[biggie-chcese]

concepts for kurumi wendy gumshoe gabs because why the fresh fuck did they not give her any like actually hey kodaka can we talk-

(rain code spoilers btw)(also gab will stop sounding like a word to you)

im gonna try to structure a kurumi gumshoe gab set but i will not be writing the conversations out bc im sorry girl but 1. im not obsessed with her enough to basically write a fic and 2. i think the conversations would still be comparatively dull due to yuma's function being "the normal one" to contrast the rest of the kooky cast and kurumi's function as essentially the same thing but also as a love interest and exposition dropper. but i still wanna at least give a model of what her conversations would be like for funsies. I'll be mixing what i think would realistically happen if they gave her gabs and also what i think should happen. alright let's get started

first off, obviously they shouldnt be available until after ch 2. maybe in ch 3 you get a new gab page and yuma can start finding new gabs out in the overworld (what sort of gem color would she have??? jade? is that too close to vivia's emerald? i dont wanna say some shit like rose gold). im not coming up with locations and hints sorry idc that much.

GAB #1

the first gab is them jumping over the hurdle of "wait we don't really have much interaction besides investigating murders and blushing dumbly" which is primarily what irks me in the game's efforts to push her as a love interest. at least let us watch yuma spend some god damn time with her holy shit WHYYY doesn't she have any fucking gumshoe gabs I'm going insa-

erm anyway let's make em have a casual talk abt something. yuma would probably start off like "this is the first time ive really been alone with kurumi ahh i dont know what to say this is awkward ahhhh" and shinigami gets rightfully annoyed with his cuckly behavior. but in an effort to save the awkwardness yuma asks her about her work as an informant. i think she'd enthusiastically spout off about it and how her grandfather inspired her (though keeping it vague because i think she could save more talk of missing family members for later). maybe she talks about her first forway into her informant work and a certain mishap that occured, yuma has to guess what happened bc she's a little embarrassed about it (this is whwre the dialogue options come in). but it's completely harmless. maybe she got spotted by the person she was tailing and then got a slap on the wrist and sent home. yuma finds it a little endearing, shinigami gives the bond level up message, and there. solid conversation. next

GAB #2

yuma asks her what exactly got her so interested in detectives. did she read heroic novels about them? did she see their noble efforts in the headlines? was she personally saved by one? the possibilities are endless and could all be answered here. actually lets have her teasingly make yuma guess here. poof, there's your dialogue options.

maybe she can even have a little kookiness as a treat and accidentally let the true nature of her admiration for detectives slip for a moment where it pretty much crosses the line of "that's a bit creepy". not towards yuma but still something a bit off putting like obsessively keeping track of her favorite detectives' activities or having information about their personal lives she absolutely shouldn't have (informant + proud participant in WDO stan culture is a dangerous combo) but she also misses doing that because now kanai ward is isolated. yuma could also be like "wait isnt what you were doing then a bit too much?" but it gets dismissed by shinigami telling him they levelled up their bond

Threeeeee!!!

this one should be about aiko methinks. yuma catches kurumi in a down mood and asks what's up and it goes from there. she gives us more detail into her friendship with aiko and maybe she could even actually acknowledge the deaths of those theatre club girls and mention how chillingly quiet the club has gotten. she tells yuma that she tries not to think about it, but the empty space they left behind is immense... yuma's dialogue choices may be to try to cheer up/comfort her. thank you, next

4

perhaps now she can talk about her grandpa (and also maybe drop how that home situation is cause girl where are your parents). she could talk about her mission in finding him cause he must be out there!!! somewhere!!!! this shit could be sentimental or smth. she could say something about kanai ward's nearly extinct species of people who are still fighting for the truth and how even when things are dangerous she remembers that no one else will do it so she's gotta step it up. she'd pivot that over to saying how glad she is that the master detectives are here bc of that, and yuma could have dialogue options where the correct choice is basically saying he admires her for that. idk. next

The Fiverrrrrrr

final gab. i was gonna be funny and say "probably another love confession like fubuki's and then yuma hits her with the nuh-uh" but due to the nature of the epilogue i actually dont think it does exactly that. maybe kurumi is stuck on a small, separate thing she's investigating and she summarizes what's up. i think it could potentially be a more personal problem or at least something she can connect to (another girl in school missing a family member? idk) so that it's a bit obvious she's more frustrated in not finding any leads. yuma helps her out a little in finding a lead (this is where the dialogue choices come in) and after thanking him, kurumi is like "y'know, we make a pretty great team" (flirting, but yuma doesnt read it that way.) shinigami groans and maybe even fusses about how she's yuma's partner but this goes ignored. and of course yuma's dense ass is like yeah i think you have the makings of a great informant and detective and he essentially coworker-zones her. kurumi then asks about how they could still maybe possibly work like this together perhaps maybe 👉 👈 🥹 after solving kanai ward's ultimate secret and yuma happily agrees. this will make his choice in the epilogue to fuck off to florida without much of a goodbye even funnier.

anyway thats it for my kurumi gumshoe gabs thanks for reading

[yonpote]

the way dan speaks about his sexuality is interesting to me bc he originally was like yeah on some level i am attracted to women i wouldn’t say i’m totally gay and now it’s like i am a homosexual i would never date a woman

to me it reads as. yes in theory dan has the capability of being attracted to anyone regardless of gender or anatomy. but he just happened to bag the most fuckable emo twunk on terf island fall in love with a boy who would end up being his forever partner and therefore didn't have the necessity to explore his sexuality beyond that, but it was still something that he thought about. i think of people who get into straight relationships and one of them realizing theyre bi but they just never pursued the same gender and then ended up falling in love with someone of a different gender.

i remember talking to a couple people about whether or not dan should be called bi, but as a bi person who has struggled with calling myself bi in the past, i just really dont think that's a call for anyone to make other than dan. he's said he's queer. queer is intentionally not a very well-defined word in terms of a sexuality/gender. queer doesn't mean anything other than different from the norm. nowadays it feels like theres a lot of terms that fall under the bi+ umbrella, or the multisexual-spectrum (mspec) as some people like to call it. idk exactly how it is for dan, but for me, i like the history behind the terms bisexual, queer, and gay so those are what i use for myself, even if you could argue that i should technically call myself pan- or omnisexual. like even if dan is "technically" multi/bi/tri/pan/omni/polysexual, it doesnt matter cuz hes in a gay relationship and he calls himself gay. he has personal trauma and history surrounding the word gay, whereas FOR HIM, the bi label felt like an escape route to be openly queer without seeming "too queer." so his reclamation of the label Gay is so much more than a technical definition.

wait i gotta find a clip of dan in one of the stereos where he literally says "you can call yourself gay even if youre technically this or that you can just call yourself gay" i always think of clipping it and always forget to

[caffeinated-and-annoying-bard]

Dude I am going thru a sixteenth-life crisis (smaller than quarter-life crisis) right now I do not know what to do. I’ve FINALLY figured out after much deliberation that i have the fattest crush (dangerously close to love) on my good friend (we met almost a year ago and have been inseparable since [this is a vast improvement for me considering that i had known my ex for all of two and a half weeks before we got together for the first time]) but i have no clue if she’s into me like that at all (shes bi so im not worried about if shes into girls or not). We have a super close and affectionate friendship because we’re both just like that and im a super tactile and physically affectionate person with my friends, so we’re always holding hands or sitting pressed up against each other or hugging or leaning on each other or whatever. AND we use pet names for each other (just pookie and honey) but like in a half serious half joking way yk. AND when i spent the night at her house we fell asleep in her bed cuddling and we were so close and i dont know if im reading too much into it or not AND we went with a couples costume of Fred Casely and Roxie Hart from Chicago to the harvest dance at my school AND people tell us all the time that we have to be a couple or that we need to start dating immediately but she doesn’t really like those jokes bcs of how prevalent they are with us. Please help i am so confused.

Alright alright alright first rule of the crisis: do not panic (it's a bit of an oxymoron, but HEAR ME OUT) your body feels like it's being chased by a tiger. It is not being chased by a tiger. Make sure it gets the memo, because you need it up and working for Smart Decision Making and when you panic the logic part of your brain shuts down COMPLETELY (for optimising faster, running-from-tiger decision making)

Breathe in, breathe out. The tiger is not here in the room. I know the thought of making a friendship awkward (I don't even count losing a friendship for your case, seems pretty much impossible at the point) it's very, really, truly, genuinely, honestly, and all of the y words for "a lot"; fucking scary. But she isn't going to bite your head off, so think with the brain, not with the adrenaline pumps, alright??⁉️⁉️⁉️?? [shaking you by the shoulders] EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. HIGHSCHOOL CRUSHES ARE VERY IMPORTANT BUT ALSO VERY DUMB SO,IF IT TRULY MATTERS TO YOU: KEEP THE "IT'S YOUNG LOVE AND VERY DUMB. THAT'S WHY I CAN AFFORD ENJOYING IT AND LOVING NOW" QUOTE IN MIND !!!!!! ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

🌄i'll be using colours and emojis so it's easier to keep track of the text because this'll be a long message and I know the brain hates those.

Now, I'm not exactly the romance Cassandra (although I've felt like it for almost 2 years now, with the romantic problems my friend Abril manages to collect (like pokèmon) and whatnot), i'm one of the "feels lonely even wi5h friends"-est guy you'll meet, and remember i'm the guy who hasn't told his best friend of 6 years he capital-l- Loved him for almost half of it. But it's way easier to think about solutions when you're not involved, so I'll do my best to give decent advice ‼️‼️‼️💥:

1. Starting from the bottom: (‼️‼️it COULD be just wishful thinking, be warned, but keep in mind that i'd also be uncomfortable and ashamed if my friends kept making shipping jokes about me and my close-friend-whom-i-do-indeed-dig-a-bit, (talking from experience) for a number of reasons, up but not limited to: "what if they don't like me and they find out i like them through this and everything goes to hell", "I don't like Feeling Exposed", the classic "it's none of their business to meddle in my relationships", and "it makes me feel objectified, like a character being shipped for the enjoyment of others" so i wouldn't take her feelings about the shipping jokes for a rotund no

2. I'd recommend to evaluate: YOU are a very physically affectionate person with all of your friends (moreso with her, but that's not relevant to the scientific method), but is she?? Does she hug and hold hands and use petnames and shit with other friends of hers? (please take into the equation people with whom she has been friends for as long as you, to be more precise) please come back to the classroom to share your results. I am positive she's also very touchy-feely with YOU, from what you've said,but does she ever initiate it with other people?

My usual method is "write everything down in a scientific table like a madman and make a spreadsheet at 2am" but i wouldn't recommend it unless you genuinely have no idea.

3. Good and heavenly Mary are all wlw this oblivious????????? (joking, it's just that YOU GUYS WENT AS THE MURDERER-AND-MURDERED COUPLE TO A DANCE).

4. I do not think it's a lost cause. Worst case scenario, she's in denial and/or very oblivious.

If you want to find out, I recommend to gradually level up the flirting WHENEVER YOUR FRIENDS AREN'T AROUND BECAUSE THAT'LL MAKE HER FEEL EXPOSED OR WORSE, THE LAUGHING STOCK

Maybe start with small gifts? Paper cranes and plausible deniability are my favourite pick but you know her and I don't, so go on, tiger skeleton‼️‼️it will drag on a bit but after she becomes used to it you can start making paper rings and hearts or something. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU NOTICE

If your experiments start giving positive results, and if any of you is good at makeup, ask her to do yours/ask to do hers and sit very closely until she starts to see the inherent romanticism of being a canvas/making of you friend's face a canvas

I am not joking the tension is insufferable even when you don't like-like the person doing your makeup i can promise that much‼️‼️

If none of this gives results, I recommend the Víctor Muñoz (your obedient servant)method: pining until you die🤝🤝👍‼️‼️💥💥🗣️🎉

Nah, more seriously: I do believe you have a strong shot, and wish you the best of lucks! Don't panic, she won't hurt you! Just evaluate, write down, science. Science it up until you have a girlfriend.

Loser out,

Val

[msperfect777]

big sister talks : chapter 1

1. being attached to someone means you lack self worth, self love, self value

have you ever liked someone or have been around someone who is hot and cold? one day they are nice and the next they treat you like trash? when theyre in a bad mood, it effects your mood too? it seems like however they feel, reflects your day? what about when they treat you bad and you notice it but you think about all their good qualities as an excuse to stick with them. you then get attached to them and try to find ways to make them feel better. seems to me you care more about how they feel than how you feel…

dont EVER disrespect yourself like that again. the moment someone shuts you down, you dip. do not chase, do not hold this person on a leash close to you. how dare you carry such low standards for yourself. you think bc this person is cute or nice sometimes or shows you the attention you crave that you have to make them change for you. no. you change. theres no way that you are so low that you allow and stick next to someone that disrespects you even the slightest. grow tf up and treat urself how you want to be treated. stand tf up and allow yourself to notice how amazing you are without this hot and cold person.

the reason you stick with them and try to change them is bc you think bc thats the first person who was ever nice to you, that you have to stay w them. hell no. the issue is that you have this person on a pedestal while you have yourself on the floor, looking up at the pedestal. BITCH U ARE THE PEDESTAL. stop allowing ppl to give you hot and cold attitudes bc thats embarrassing. i dont care about excuses… there is no excuse for disrespecting yourself like that.

recovery tips: you lack self worth and self love and you look at this person for a source of love and attention even when they treat u like shit. ive been there and it was hell. detach urself from this person immediately. they serve you nothing but shame. realize this is only happening bc thats what you allowed yourself to accept. you are not as low as you think. raise your standards and treat yourself with respect and show to others that thats how you will allow yourself to be treated: with respect and only that.

it will feel so bad at first when you detach from this person that you think you love but you will get used to it and you feel 20x better bc it makes u focus on yourself and only you. instead of wasting your time loving someone who doesnt love you the same way, you now will spend time loving someone who will treat you perfectly: aka yourself. dont get it twisted.

2. never go back to the ppl you left

nothing is more embarrassing then forgetting someone and after they give you one ounce of attention like one text message or something, you start thinking about allowing them back into your life…

YOU DONT NEED ANYONE. you think you do which is clearly false. how you gonna create space away from someone who treated you bad and then start sucking on them after they come back to you.

recovery tips: from now on, see yourself on top of the pedestal while others are looking up at you on the ground. not the other way around. treat yourself like royalty. dont ever chase someone youve worked so hard to stay away from. dont send no “hey” text or a smile in the hallway. dont tolerate no type of disrespect and never go back to those ways no matter what. remind yourself who the fuck you are. the motha fucking boss thats what.

i dont care if this person is your mother or a ex lover. no one should be treating you like trash and you should not suck up to them after they rush back into your arms. clearly they need you. u dont need them and you never did. remember that bitch.

3. never take other ppls words as final

someone insulted you and now their words are stuck in your head and youre hating urself for it. you see the insult as “final” or as the truth about you even though its not. im confused… are you here to please others and worry about the bullshit insecurities ppl project on you? or are you here to learn to love yourself and focus on urself and only urself?

ppl only talk shit for one or more of these 4 reasons:

they are jealous of you: there is something you have that they wish they had. this could be your ability to not give a fuck about what others think, or it could be the way you always get high marks at school, or the way you carry yourself, or the new shoes you bought the other day. im telling you right now, there will always be someone jealous of something you have even when u think u arent the type of person to make others jealous. grow the fuck up and realize you are not as low as you assume.

they are insecure in themselves and talking shit is only way they can feel better about themselves: there is literally nothing wrong with you, ppl just feel the need to be mean to others in order to cover up the fact that its them they hate, not you. most ppl also follow the crowd and are rude bc they think its “cool” or makes them feel better. why would a boss like you give a fuck about insecure losers?

when ppl go thro personal shit, its likely they are not in a good position to be nice w others but that doesnt mean u have to tolerate that. step away from ppl who treat u wrong but if its someone u care about who you know is going thro shit, support them and be there for them. make sure you are acknowledging the way they are treating you is wrong and make sure to let then know that you will be there for them, even if that means giving them space.

they have a crush on you… i know from personal experience that when someone has a crush on someone else and they dont want you to know, they will bully you and be rude so that you cant suspect anything. dont take rudeness seriously.

so when ppl talk shit, it most likely has nothing to do with you. dont take ppls insults seriously and as a final representation of yourself. im telling you no one goes to bed thinking about the insults they give you so why tf would u care? im being serious when i say no one cares about anyone to the point where they spend 24 hours insulting you and thinking bad about you. if they do, then thats an unhealthy obsession… yikes.. well it sounds like a them problem not a you problem.

recovery tips: let yourself remember that you are you. you are not going to grow up caring about ppls useless words or else you are a clown. dont be a clown and remind urself that you are the best person you know.

i notice that ppl can give you 100 compliments and one insult but you will focus and worry about that one insult. this is the ego’s desire for people pleasing and validation. stop and give yourself your own validation bc you get to decide how much you love yourself. treat yourself like you would treat a partner, a lover, a crush. take yourselves out on dates. do whatever you want to make yourself feel wanted bc waiting for others to do it is just wasting ur time when you can just do it yourself.

…

my experience: i used to be the type of person who would suck up to ppl that treated me wrong bc i wanted their attention and validation. i think back on it now and realize i was just a little girl who needed love and i wonder how i didnt realize that the only person i needed love from was me and only me. its so much fun loving myself and not having to depend on others to do it and its so easy to get rid of ppl and let them go after they disrespect me. every time i think about it i feel so powerful. bc i dont allow any type of insults or rudeness to break me down. i deadass dont care who the person is or how close i am with them.. the second they treat me like trash, i will gladly leave. focus on building yourself up instead of being the one that allows you do be teared down.

© msperfect777

[romana-after-dark]

Roman's 1000 follower fundraiser game!

Hello friends!!!

I am so happy to see I have 1200 followers! Thank you so much everyone who got me here, old followers from when I first wrote The Wrong Way, to new followers with my Logan Howlett era, to everyone that know me from my main and followed me to dark fics! Words cannot express how much yall mean to me and how much the support I've gotten through the hard things means.

I want to do a celebration, but something that won't overwhelm me. I'm switching work stuff around, however, so I should have more time and be less exhausted and sad.

So I’m doing a fundraiser game!

The charity: I will be donating to my favorite charity, Smile Train. when I was 6, I saw an add for Smile Train and asked my mom if I could donate. My mom said we didn't have enough money to both donate, and do the yearly church fair, so I had to choose. Of course, I was 6 so I chose going to the fair. And I felt bad about that every since. So, my go to has always been Smile Train for charities ever since. When I was in middle school I saved every allowance for a year and did some extra chores to save enough for a whole surgery! Now, I'm not that ambitious this time bc I am in fact, poor. But I can set aside some for the needy. I considered doing Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, but I found out Smile Train actually partners with them so it works!

How it works: So, As y'all've probably noticed, I love music so much, that almost every title of a fic is either a song title or a song lyric. Sometimes I say it, sometimes I don't.

THROUGHOUT THE END OF NOVEMBER!

Look though my masterlist here or on my main, @romanarose. Find at least one fic titled after a song.

Send an ask with UP TO 5 Song title/fic title connections. No More. This is to allow everyone a chance, and to no overwhelm me.

One title = 100 words. You find 3 song titles? you get a 300 word blurb. find 5? 500! 500 is the limit.

If you send a fic title that has already been pointed out in an ask from another person, sorry, it'd not counted! (Unless I'm really feeling the writing). Send 4 titles but 2 have been used already? You get 200 words!

Send me what you want. it doesn't have to be dark! I'll make an exception. Characters I'll write for bellow!

For every fic title/ song reference, I will donate $1 to Smile Train! The more songs we can find, the more money they get (without overdoing my bank account. However Nov has extra friday which means more pay for me.) Questions you may have: "What if someone else said the fic title, but it was published and I didn't see it, or it's still sitting in your asks because you are always super fucking slow at doing these ROMAN" Yeah you're right I'm always slow at these. I guess you're SOL, buddy. If it's already sitting in my asks, I won't commit to adding it to your word count. BUT if my creative juices are flowing, I may have mercy

"What if all of my song titles I found have been used already?"

Well, frankly, I'll probably write you something still! I'm not mean.

"What if you didn't use a song title, but we find a song with it anyway?"

Well, that's up to my discretion. If it's a song I know that may have influenced the title subliminally I might count it! But if it wasn't in intentional thing, no guarantees. But Again, I'll be flexible.

"How are we supposed to know what goes on in your weird little old man head."

Uhhhhhhhhh bestie I dont even know what's happening in there!!!! Just have fun with it. See if you recognize songs or lines. It's okay

"What about chapters?"

Great Q, voice in my head! Since most fics I don't have chapter titles, I'll allow it! If I have a bonus chapter, or a chapter i just wanted to title and its a song, go ahead! Only exception is Rooms on Fire. Sorry, but i'm pretty clear those are intentionally all songs. It's too easy.

"$1 is per fic title is awful cheap."

Bestie my checkings over drafted today!!! I got it covered and figured out, this is just a little something I wanna do with LITTLE extra money but I still have debt I gotta work on it's tough out here!!!

Any more questions send them in! YOU HAVE UNTIL DECEMBER 1ST WHICH IS WHEN DEAD DOVE DECEMBER STARTS AGAIN!

Logan Howlett

any Triple Frontier boys sans Tom

Moon Boys

Wade Wilson

Kylo Ren

Scott Summers

Remy Lebeau (but not dark for him I can't see it. Will allow dark reader though!)

Tommy Miller

Javier Pena

Han Solo (no non con, maybe dub con)

Steve Murphy

And yes, I've said I'm done with Joel but I will allow for Joel this time because it's for charity and he pulls people in.

and although I've never written them, I'll write for the Bikeriders Cal, Benny, or Johnny but no non con. I'll play wit dub con, and dark reader

I will also write canon character x canon character, so if you want some Scogan or Johnny x Benny or FishBen, Im in! If a pairing is something I feel just doesn't lend itself to the scenario you give me, I might tweek it. Everything is up to my discretion!

I will also write crossovers!

And I will write any of my oc's and anything in universe. So fen, if you wanna read you and Lorenzo go crazy! If you want a blurb shipping Scott and Dolly in OGS, just ask!

Open to it all

This is my little celebration my rules and discretion, but I want this to be overall fun!!! Just a good ole time! Don't take it too seriously, and we'll raise money in the mean time!

[crguang]

glad 2 see you are also not a topaz enjoyer, idk why she's so popular but i firmly cannot like her ass

i personally don’t find topaz interesting, i don’t think her character has any depth to it worth mentioning. she’s in the same tier as skott to me just bc she has no life or personality outside of the IPC and the only words that come out of her mouth are “market” “profit” “job” “numby” and “IPC” like oh my god we get it. i know they “saved” her planet from ruin and she’s grateful for that, that she was likely groomed into her role as well but that doesn’t stop her from perpetuating their toxic mindset and personally im just sick of it. any character that is IPC affiliated is getting a side eye for me except for aventurine because he actually wants to leave that evil corporation so he’s ok. at least jade has intrigue around her character outside of her job, and a hobby. something that topaz desperately needs.

i don’t find the IPC as a corporation interesting at all. they’re just evil capitalists and i think they should be eradicated, i dont see anything remotely interesting about that tbh like there are enough to go around irl. i also believe that you have to be a little evil to have such a high position in that corporation so i don’t believe the people who tell me that topaz is a good person just because she helped belobog once, cause right after that she called them servants for accepting the help of the astral express twice (while she wanted them to accept the help of the ipc??😭) then admitted that the ipc only cared about profits so… shes not dumb, she knows the basis of capitalism is exploitation and shes good with that. again, morality is not something that will determine whether i hate a character or not but topaz is not a fleshed out character at all, there’s nothing to her but her sob story about her home planet. if i want an evil, intelligent woman im not going for topaz, jade is right there. if i want someone who’s always ten steps ahead kafka is right there. if i want an analytical mind, there’s ruan mei and herta. like what exactly is topaz supposed to do for me when these characters all have unique personalities and lore. granted, we dont know much about jade (yet) but her abilities and collected personality already makes her more interesting to me

i felt insane playing the wardance and having that pile of junk with a camera for a head reprimand luka for his distrust and “prejudice” against the IPC — they treated his life and all of belobog like stock market numbers?!?! then he always had to concede to the others’ points like i was going crazy. then the scrap metal goes around calling MY BEST FRIEND boothill a dangerous savage oh i was mad, the IPC glazing and propaganda in that event pissed me off. luka getting an ipc sponsored mechanical arm just like igor did when the whole point was that igor had to sell his body parts to please rich egocentric snobs just for the hope that they would care about something other than themselves. he made himself a merchandise to save his planet and failed. i hate that the luka situation was portrayed as beneficial for both parties so there was no harm done and topaz was just helping him. that’s the thing that makes me feel crazy about hsr, they will show us every instance of the IPC being evil, greedy and cold then will turn around and try to make them likeable because some playable characters are IPC. i feel insane.

i also don’t like her design, imo it’s very basic for a 5* character. i remember playing the belobog quest and being surprised that she was a five star character because i found her so boring 😭 they didn’t even try like, man whatever. she’s not cute to me. she’s the only character in the game that i can rant about hating like that’s crazy. i hate ratio but i wouldn’t type an essay on him, ive had to argue about topaz too many times to be chill about her. and jadepaz also contributes to me hating her. what those ship brained gays did to jade after her release is criminal nobody cared about her on her own i felt crazy. i went through that with black swan already, no more. i need topaz deleted off the game

sorry sev

[shenrickyz]

UNKNOWN

5 times seojun makes sure to look after jisung, and 1 time jisung returns the favor

FEATURING ᝢ kang seojun, park jisung, & nct dream ensemble. WARNINGS ᝢ 5+1 things, mentions of mark's graduation, overworking, and implications of depression. WORD COUNT ᝢ 9k  NOTES ᝢ okay okay so HIII!! first of all, this is for the biggest seoji fan ever aka @junjiie, also my bsf ever jj we all love you ☹️💟 second of all, this doesn't even scratch the surface when it comes to seoji, their dynamic is so intricate that i can't even to explain them bc i'll go crazy and start sobbing uncontrollably from how much i love them 😭😭 third, yes this is a 5+1 thing, going back to my ao3 roots and shit, you will never know the name of my account btw..🙁 just know there were a lot of weak hero things on there, i miss ao3 (i got locked out of my account), anyway, yeah this is a very experimental i wrote through many many all nighters and many iced coffees, but now it's done, seojun might be one of my fav nct ocs sorry zixin & niko 💗 seojun cutest person ever wbk!! okay bye bye dont crucify me pls 🙏

one

jisung is on one of his nightly walks again.

nightly walks around the dorm that is, he isn't about to go outside at one in the morning, one; because renjun would definitely kill him if he ever found, and two; he doesn't need fresh air right now.

jisung finds his own body confusing, he's tired, but can't sleep. the ground is practically stabbing his feet, but he's already walked seven circles around the couch in this short amount of time. he feels out of it, he craves something, not food, he's not hungry, he's not thirsty either, he doesn't know exactly he feels. he's sleepless, yeah, but sleep probably won't do the trick.

thoughts are rampant in jisung's mind, many thoughts. the fucking comeback, the hours of practice he's gonna subject himself to, the hours of recording they'll have to endure, the hours he's spent without even eating, how is he still alive? he might collapse onto the floor in this very moment and sleep just like that.

but instead of that, jisung (or his feet, he guesses) has other plans. he stops his tenth lap around the couch and beelines towards seojun's room, those thoughts still rampant in his mind as he starts his way there.

seojun always pulls all-nighters, he truly only needs 3 hours of sleep to thrive in this world (his words, not jisung's). the other doesn't really get how that's healthy, considering seojun's a dancer, and he's constantly up 24/7, sleep should one of his top priorities, jisung doesn't understand how he never gets tired, but he guesses the constant need to be doing something is a huge factor.

the light in his room is on, jisung can see from the crack under the door, and even if it wasn't on, seojun is always awake. he lightly twists the doorknob, peaking his head through the opened door.

seojun is, of course, doing like three things at once. he's cleaning his glasses, has a book open, and is singing along to a song playing in his mind. when he hears the door open, he glances up, smiling at the sight of his fellow 02 liner. "hi, what's up?"

jisung pauses, holding the door with his shoulder so he can use his right hand to scratch his arm, he shrugs, licking his lips. "can't sleep" he says easily, and seojun just hums, sitting up.

he doesn't say any more, patting the spot beside him on his bed, beckoning for jisung to sit with him. the younger doesn't think twice before closing the door behind him (gently though, because hikari has issues with noise). the moment he sits himself down with seojun, he feels comfortable, cozy.

"why'd you come to my room?"

"you were the only one awake".

a lie, a pretty obvious one too. jisung knows hikari is also awake, he usually gets plagued with sleeplessness when comeback preparations roll around. jisung doesn't really know why he lied, it's not like seojun would reprimand him or anything.

seojun doesn't need to know it was a lie, though.

"mmh" seojun looks back to his glasses, putting the napkin back in the case. "why can't you sleep, ji?" he asks, glancing down at the book he'd previously been reading.

jisung glances down as well, eyes focusing on seojun's bracelet. "i don't know.." he mutters, beginning to fiddle with seojun's blanket, his nose scrunched as he takes in a deep breath. "just thinking, i guess".

"ah" seojun puts on his glasses and shakes his head. jisung always thought seojun looked exceptionally pretty like this— not that seojun isn't usually exceptionally pretty, jisung just thinks he looks so good in this current state. somewhat messy hair, reading glasses on, no makeup, just.. seojun. "so what? you want me to read you a story or something?"

"no i just.." jisung pauses, scouring his mind for the right words to say. seojun's eyes go back and forth, between the younger and pages on the book before him. "i'm just— i'm thinking too much, i need to just sit down and be fine".

jisung doesn't really think the words make sense, but seojun gets it, and jisung can see that he does with the way his eyes soften. "so you just want to sit in silence?" he asks, fingers caressing the cover of the book in his hands. jisung's eyes follow seojun's fingers, humming lightly.

"not really.. can we just talk?"

"about what?"

jisung groans, covering his face with his hands. "i don't know just.. stuff" anything to distract him from his irritating thoughts, he doesn't want to think about the comeback, or the performance, or sm, or anything pertaining to that, he just wants to talk about stupid shit, talking with seojun will relax his mind. "just don't be quiet".

"well lucky for you, park, i'm a professional loud mouth".

oh do i know.

jisung makes himself comfortable, lying his head down on one of seojun's many pillows. the older simply smiles down at him, glancing back at his book and only skimming the page before turning it. "what's keeping you up tonight?"

"comeback thoughts" jisung answers immediately, getting only a small hum from the older. "i don't know, i'm nervous, anxious, worried that i'll slip up and put the whole group in jeopardy?"

his tone is questioning, like he's even confused on why he's having such thoughts, but seojun doesn't reply. the silence isn't a taunting silence, one where jisung can tell seojun is making fun of him in his mind, it's more of a silence of solace, jisung likes how the air in the room feels, his thoughts aren't yelling at him right now, they're silent, they don't bother him. "is that weird?"

"it's weird that you think you'll ever mess up" the park almost rolls his eyes at the kang's words, but he doesn't interrupt him. "you're an amazing member, jisung, you're talented, you never slip up, and you'd never bring down the group".

"you're just saying that to make me feel better.."

"i say it all the time, though" seojun adds, and jisung has to admit, he is right, but he wants to remain stubborn, wants to ignore his reddening cheeks. "and i mean it, ji, don't ever think about yourself like that, you're important, and everyone thinks so".

the words make jisung pause, he doesn't have an immediate answer for them. seojun is just so good at doing that, making him speechless. it's not like what he said was new or revolutionary, seojun says shit like this all the time, it's just something about him, not exactly his words.

seojun makes jisung feel things he can't explain.

jisung's silence doesn't bug the older, who just takes his hand, intertwining their fingers. "you— we'll be fine".

"we always are, aren't we?"

at the words, seojun snickers, unconsciously tightening his hold on jisung's hand. "yeah, we always are".

two

these days, jisung is easily tired.

maybe it's just the back to back promotions, having to learn five new choreographies and master them so he doesn't make a mistake on stage, so he doesn't upset any of the members. they're all having a rough time as well, he can't even begin to imagine how mark and donghyuck feel, knowing they have to do these promotions and also prepare for their upcoming 127 comeback (and apparently with a song they hate too, donghyuck is not a fan of sticker).

jisung just chalks up his exhaustion to the many hours he trudges around the practice room, doing the same dance seventeen times with minimal breaks, no sleep, then waking up and having to repeat the next day.

and jisung thinks it'll all be fine, because he has never actually ever been behind. if he has to force himself to learn a new choreography, he will, he doesn't care if one of his legs falls off, by the time jisung is seventy, he's probably still gonna be dancing himself to death.

so here jisung is, trying his best to keep his eyes open as he stares out the window of the van. it's way too late, schedules took way too long today, jisung just can't wait to get home, to lie down on his bed, and let the sleep take him away.

but for now, he's awake, wide awake. he's not exactly sure why he's keeping himself awake, some dumb reason he can't explain through the fatigue plaguing his own body. it's not like no one else is asleep, chenle dozed off forty five minutes ago, hikari and jeno are both gone, laying their heads on each other. it looks like sleep is about to take jaemin away pretty soon, renjun is silently sleeping in the seat in front of them, whilst mark and haechan are watching stupid videos, tired, but not tired as if they're about to sleep.

and seojun, seojun is wide awake.

seojun is always wide awake, jisung can never get it. seojun is one of the youngest members, and young people need sleep (that's what everyone says, at least), but every time jisung looks at seojun, he's awake. jisung doesn't know the last time he's seen seojun sleep— of course he sleeps, but jisung hasn't seen him doze off in a long time, the older must be an owl or something.

jisung finally stops looking out of the window, glancing over at seojun beside him. he takes his time observing the older. seojun is listening to music, a cnblue song, jisung can hear it faintly from his headphones. he lightly chuckles at the fact, and it seems that seojun hears him, removing one of his headphones. "did you say something?"

jisung suddenly startles, shaking his head through the tiredness attacking his body. "no i just.. nothing i said nothing".

seojun blinks, humming. he turns off his headphones, taking them off. "why aren't you sleeping?"

the question puzzles jisung. "what do you mean?"

"you're tired".

it's not a question, the words that escape seojun's lips are a remark, a statement. he isn't asking jisung if he's tired, if he wants to sleep, he's telling jisung that he's tired.

"that's funny" jisung replies, it's not surprising for seojun to have predicted this, it's obvious that he's tired, there are clear bags under his eyes, he can barely speak above a whisper, and he keeps having to pick himself up when his head starts slipping down, beckoning him to such a desirable slumber. "you just.. know?"

"it's pretty obvious" seojun responds, he doesn't display any kind of exhaustion, something that is absolutely stunning to jisung. seojun should be knocked out cold, he always does so much, but he never seems to ever be tired, he has to be some sort of superhuman, how does he survive without sleep? jisung will never know. "and i know you".

jisung could never disagree with that. sometimes, he thinks seojun might be a mind reader. he always knows when it comes to jisung, he can pick apart the smallest things, notice the smallest differences, and can somehow always know what he's thinking. on certain occasions, it freaks out jisung, just how much seojun knows, but on most occasions, it just confuses jisung.

"yeah, you know me so well.." jisung mutters, his tone is meant to come off as sarcastic, but seojun clearly can't notice because of how low he says it. he looks down at his feet, bumping them together.

"you should sleep".

jisung disagrees, he doesn't know why, he just wants to stay awake, staying awake is what he wants to do. "i'm not.. sleepy".

"you're a terrible liar" seojun chuckles, merely glancing at his phone before focusing all of his attention on the maknae. "you can sleep, you know, i'll wake you up when we get back".

"i don't wanna sleep".

"yes you do".

"no i don't".

"you do".

"i don't".

this childish back and forth comes out of nowhere, and it goes on for much longer than it should. it's nothing serious, playful bantering like this between the two has always been prominent in their relationship, arguing over stupid things has always been a them thing to do.

"will you stop fighting me on this?" seojun asks, his voice softening. "there's nothing wrong with sleeping, why don't you want to?"

"if i sleep, i'll sleep for too long".

seojun raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue (a habit which makes jisung's stomach flip in ways that are so strange), a small hum leaves his lips and he leans back in his seat. "why's that a bad thing?"

"because i have to wake up early tomorrow to get extra practice in".

seojun laughs again, his laughter is a pretty harmony, one jisung loves witnessing. he doesn't mean to focus on it so much, the curve of seojun's mouth that is, but he does, he can't stop himself.

he feels himself get flicked in the head by the older, and a small yelp escapes his lips. "you dummy, that's really what your worried about?"

"dummy? you could at least not insult me.." jisung frowns, rubbing his forehead as he reels from the flick from seojun.

"seriously jisung, you need sleep".

jisung scoffs. "that's ironic for you to say" his words make seojun snort, he can't disagree with that. he's much too lively at a time like this, after the day they had, seojun still finds time to be awake, even while most of the members let their exhaustion take them away to dreamland. "you never sleep".

"this isn't about me, though" classic seojun, deflecting from anything pertaining to him and focusing on jisung. "it's alright if you sleep, i'll make sure to wake you up for your early practice".

the words come out in a joking way, but jisung knows seojun is serious when he says them, he just knows seojun, he knows how he is. seojun is always going to look after him, no matter how stubborn jisung tries to be, the older will never truly let him. taking care of him is his thing, jisung thinks the other will be looking after him until he dies.

and he wouldn't really mind it anyway.

"i—"

"jisung" seojun grits his teeth, the tone is a warning, the kind of tone mark uses with the group when they're acting like idiots. jisung thinks it's so weird when seojun talks like this, because energetic, childish, outgoing seojun should never be sporting a tone like this. "don't argue with me, you need to sleep, i'll wake you up, you know it".

i do. but jisung doesn't say that, he just lets out a tired chuckle, shaking his head. "you're so assertive.." he mutters, scooting closer and leaning his head down onto seojun's shoulder.

"anything to make sure you get sleep" seojun carts his hand through jisung's hair, an easier way to coax him to sleep, but jisung doesn't think it was on purpose, just seojun being seojun. "i'll wake you up tomorrow, and when we get back".

he doesn't need to reiterate his words for jisung to know, seojun is always going to take care of him, making sure everything is going okay with him. "uh huh, thanks".

though jisung says those words with a tone of mild irritation, he doesn't mean it.

and seojun knows, because he always knows.

three

"hyung have you seen my—oh.."

jisung can't even focus on what he's looking for anymore, because he walks into the kitchen turned bakery and experiences a type of whiplash he doesn't think could ever be replicated. he's met with the immediate aroma of chocolate chips, cookies, cookies are being made. he stops in his tracks, because the sudden chocolate chips which litter his nose aren't the only surprise.

"oh hi jisungie!" jaemin exclaims, quickly taking jisung's attention away from everything else. "what were you looking for?" jisung feels like his mind has gone blank as he tries to figure out everything he needs to articulate right now.

"my uh.. my watch" he responds, but the watch is the furthest thing on his mind. "why are you all, baking?" he finally asks, catching the attention of his fellow members.

"were doing something nice for mark!" renjun exclaims, his words muffled, his mouth is full of something. "celebrating golden hours release!"

ah, that makes sense. jisung finds the gesture cute, how they're gathering together to do something nice for mark, he really is special to them. all of them. "oh, so you're making just cookies?" he asks, not knowing what to do, so he just stands awkwardly.

"no, were making brownies too".

"were trying to make brownies" jaemin corrects, making donghyuck whip his head back to glare at him. "you didn't even get the right cocoa powder for the recipe".

"okay and? the brownies will still be good it's not like mark will even notice!"

and just like that, the pair begin arguing. wow, how fitting for them. jisung is quick to tune out of their argument, instead walking around to the other side of the kitchen counter, making his way to a certain someone.

seojun had been quiet the whole time, which is, frankly, unusual. jisung notices immediately how focused he is on making sure the cookie dough and chocolate chips mix together perfectly, so focused that he doesn't even look up to greet jisung when the younger stands beside him.

"hello? earth to seojun?" jisung calls out, suddenly craving the older males attention. the kang finally looks up, but he doesn't pause his aggressive mixing, his arm continuing to do it's thing. "are you okay?"

"hm? yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

"well.. you're quiet" jisung immediately remarks, opting to tell seojun about his newfound observation instead of making small talk. "that's weird".

seojun snickers, poking jisung's cheek (a gesture which the younger pretends to be annoyed by). "i just need to make sure these cookies are perfect, i want mark hyung to like it.."

he pokes his tongue through his inner cheek, and jisung simply nods. he gets it, seojun's need to impress mark goes way back, all the way back to their trainee days, where an eleven year old seojun would do extra well in practice just to get better praises from mark. "he will, when have you ever disappointed him?"

jisung can't do the complimenting as well as seojun does, but at least they have the same affect, because seojun smiles. a small, cute stretch that highlights his pretty pink lips.

jisung has no idea why he's staring there anyway..

"you know what, you're right, i shouldn't be stressing so much about this, these are just baked treats at the end of the day".

"glad you can see that".

the pair go unnaturally silent, the chatter of their fellow members still prominent in their ears, but nothing else seemed to matter to the 02 liners. jisung doesn't break the silence, intertwining his finger with seojun's. seojun has pretty hands, is that weird of jisung to say? no, he doesn't think it is. the rings that litter his fingers fit him so well, a barrage of gold and silver metal that compliment him perfectly.

seojun, who also doesn't say anything, just takes the act of affection as it is. his lips part, as if he wants to say something, but he immediately closes them, staying silent. jisung doesn't try to force seojun to talk, seojun doesn't try to force jisung to talk, they just stand there with their fingers laced together, comfortable in the silence overtaking them.

then suddenly, the two of them engage in a high end staring content. at this point, everyone else seems to be absolutely useless, the only thing mattering in the moment being them and their little staring competition. jisung loses almost immediately, because he does the stupid thing and lets his eyes wander down towards seojun's lips, totally not purposefully of course!

seojun laughs at the direction his eyes go, and it makes jisung immediately look up, blinking at the older.

but before he can say anything, chenle's familiar pterodactyl screech sounds in their ears.

"SEOJUNIE! COME HELP ME PLEASE!"

the shout is enough to snap seojun and jisung out of their thing, and jisung's cheeks flare up immediately, he forgot everyone else was still here. seojun snaps out of his little daze much more naturally though, even with the red hue that tints his cheeks.

"coming!" seojun quickly looks back to jisung. "uh.. do this for me? please?" jisung could never really refuse, even if seojun was really just asking him to stir cookie dough and chocolate chips for him. "i'll pay you back".

"no no it's fine go help chenle" jisung whispers, not knowing if he could speak without his voice cracking. seojun smiles at him, a pretty smile, then quickly lets go of his bowl (and jisung's hand) to go and help the yelling chinese with whatever issue is plaguing him.

jisung takes over seojun's former job of stirring together cookie dough and chocolate chips whilst the older helps chenle with his issue. he listens to the continuous bickering of renjun and donghyuck, trying his best to ignore jaemin's knowing gaze, he feels it burning holes through the back of his head.

seojun isn't gone for too long, as he comes back giggling and ruffling chenle's hair. "thank you, jisungie" he whispers, quickly taking the bowl of now mixed cookie dough and chocolate chips away from the maknae.

"no problem" jisung politely smiles, not even looking seojun in the eye, but the older seems to find his awkwardness cute, because he pinches the younger's cheeks. "what was that about?"

"what? with chenle?"

no, the other thing. jisung is referring to their little staring contest, that random moment they had, where no one else seemed to matter, like it was just them in the room and nothing else was going on, but jisung doesn't want to ask about that while everyone else is still in the room. "yeah.. uh— with chenle".

seojun narrows his eyes, but just hums, beginning to shape the cookie dough so it can start baking. "chenle just couldn't reach for something, he needed my help".

"ah" jisung hums, chewing on his bottom lip as he averts eye contact with the older, who blinks at his sudden silence. "are all of these enough?" he abruptly asks, changing the subject, much to the dismay of seojun. "mark hyung won't ask for more?"

"if he does ask for more we'll just make more!" hikari shouts from another part of the room, answering jisung's question instead of seojun, who smiles, agreeing with his answer. "it won't be that hard".

jisung hums again, having no idea how to start up another conversation. "anything i can do to help?"

"you don't have to do much" seojun responds, finally turning away from the baking cookies and back to the maknae. "unless you want to be apart of haechan and jaemin hyungs argument about cocoa powder".

jisung snorts, humored by the suggestion. "no i think i'll pass.."

"speaking of jaemin hyung, did you find your watch yet?" seojun asks, and the realization suddenly dawns on jisung, he totally forgot that he was originally looking for his watch this whole entire time. "you haven't even tried to look for it?"

"i did! but then i got sidetracked by the baking and cookies and those two arguing over cocoa powder!"

seojun chuckles at jisung's response, cupping his face as he coos at the other. everything jisung does is cute, but everyone else thinks that as well!

it's just different when it's seojun..

"you're such an idiot, jisungie".

the nickname is stupid, but jisung loves when seojun says it (but he can't say that out loud, because the other members would pout about it all day). he doesn't mean to pick favorites, he just thinks seojun is extra adorable with the way he does things, and no that is not biased.

seojun continues shaking his head, sighing. "your watch is in my room".

jisung blinks, puzzled by the words. "my watch is in your— how did it even get there?"

"you tell me, i didn't even know it was there until like twenty minutes ago, you probably put it there and just don't remember".

"but that doesn't make sense i—"

"COOKIES ARE READY!"

jisung, again, gets cut off by a loud shout, and both 02 liners immediately whip their heads towards the second eldest, who jumps up happily at the sound of the oven dinging, indicating that the cookies were ready. "jeez, why is everyone yelling today?"

seojun snickers at the comment, head still turned away from jisung. "they have to combat the other shouting hyungs somehow" he mutters, patting jisung on the shoulder before going to hikari's side, helping him with the cookies.

once they're placed onto the kitchen counter, an immediate argument starts between renjun and donghyuck, who are talking about uneven chocolate chips or something. jaemin is begging hikari to try a cookie, but the older doesn't give into his demands, and it seems that he's working a double shift, because he's making sure to slap chenle's approaching hand away each time it gets closer to the plate. jeno, on the other hand, is just standing by, helping his bo— hikari by also shooing chenle away from the batch of cookies.

jisung is just staying silent, standing by as his members get up to their own things. seojun, again, comes back to his former spot beside him. the older doesn't say anything, just reaches for jisung's hand and laces their fingers together. "what?"

"what?"

"why the sudden hand holding?"

"we were doing this before.." seojun mutters, and jisung doesn't try to shake his grip off or anything, just allows for seojun to intertwine their fingers. he smiles lightly at the fact, a smile that doesn't go unnoticed by seojun. "you like holding my hand".

"don't get too cocky".

jisung allows for his eyes to cast towards the plate of cookies on the table, and seojun notices right away, because of course seojun notices right away. "what? you want one?"

confusion colors jisung's face, and he shakes his head. "i mean yeah but hii would never let m—"

seojun doesn't wait for him to finish, grabbing a cookie from the plate and handing it over to jisung. "he's occupied with jeno hyung, he won't mind".

"but what about mark hyung?"

seojun snickers, taking jisung's hand and putting the cookie in it. "he won't mind, i'm making an exception for you, everyone will get it" jisung wants to protest, but he can't, because who is he to turn down the lovely seojun's lovely offer?

"don't worry, i'll cover for you if hii or injunie ever finds out" seojun whispers, giving a short glance to the older members in the room before raising his pinkie towards jisung's. jisung uses his free hand to take his pinkie and intertwine it with his. "pinkie swear".

jisung laughs, even if there is a cookie in his mouth. though he can't respond, seojun gets what he means, smiling lightly at him.

four

"are you going for an insomniac world record or something?"

the question makes jisung snap out of his little late night daze, and the moment he catches sight of seojun, a tired smile makes its way to his lips. the older comes up to the couch and ruffles his hair, an equally tired smile on his lips as he then turns away to go get himself some water. "i'm not an insomniac, sleeping is just becoming difficult these days".

"anything in particular keeping you up?"

jisung pauses, taking a yawn. of course there's a lot keeping him up, the groups future, mark's graduation, other upcoming graduations, what all of that means for the group in general, his role as a member of the group, but he doesn't say all of that, just hums as a response to seojun's question. "a lot".

"don't wanna elaborate?"

"not now".

the older 02 liner makes his way around the couch, throwing jisung's legs off to make space for himself. the younger groans, but ultimately allows seojun to do so, as the younger quickly takes his place on the couch. "don't whine you big baby".

jisung frowns, but ultimately lets his legs fall off the couch. he enjoys seojun's company, he doesn't want the older to leave. he likes that he's here. "i'm not whining, just annoyed that you made me move".

"you can always just kick me off the couch" yeah, jisung can, but that doesn't mean he will. he feels much more relaxed with the older there. he would never make seojun leave a room, he enjoys being around him.

"yeah.." jisung mutters. he's bored, overwhelmed with thoughts, and he feels like everything is going wrong. "but i'm lazy" he answers quickly, a good excuse, seojun won't suspect a thing.

the older hums, silent. he observes jisung for a moment, eyes scanning his body, he pauses for a moment, fingers picking at a spot on the couch, and then he stands up, sighing. "get up".

surprise colors jisung's face. "what?"

"up, i'm gonna give you a massage".

jisung blinks, completely puzzled about what the hell seojun must've picked up on. "a massage? why do you want to give me a.."

"your posture's gonna go to shit if i don't" jisung picks up on the uncharacteristic swear, but he can't exactly argue with seojun. so, begrudgingly, the maknae sits up and sighs, he always ends up giving into seojun doesn't he?

"my posture is fine" jisung argues silently, lightly wincing as he feels seojun's thumbs make contact with his back. the older gives the younger a look of bewilderment. "what?"

"why did you even wince?"

"because.. your fingers are cold".

seojun chuckles at the response, starting off much more gently this time. "your shirt is that thin?"

jisung lets out a short breath, looking away from the older. "yes, it's also the middle of the night and everything that touches me feels cold, seojun".

"no need to be such a pessimist".

jisung yawns, closing his eyes as seojun kneads the muscles in his back. he has to admit, he is getting the slightest bit relaxed. "not pessimistic just tired".

seojun hums once again, a small smile coming to his that he doesn't allow jisung to see. "so what's bothering you?"

"hm?"

"what's bothering you? tell me" seojun responds immediately. "is it mark hyung?"

jisung's silence is enough of an answer to him. seojun makes an indescribable sound, then takes a deep breath. "you miss mark?"

"everyone misses mark" jisung finally opens his eyes. "it's not just mark it's.. everything, the group, the company, future promotions, the stupid graduation system, all i want is for us to  be like how we were when we debuted but now mark hyung is gone and hii has all this added stress and.. i don't know what to do, it's all eating me up inside".

jisung then lets another wave of silence hit as he finishes his long spew of words. seojun doesn't respond immediately, taking in the words and thinking of a response, but jisung doesn't doubt seojun, because he always knows what he needs.

"i just want everything to be okay—"

"it will be" seojun cuts in, a weary escaping his lips as he pokes his tongue through his inner cheek. "it's important to remember that you can always come to me with things like this, it's alright to talk about how you feel and i just.. i don't want you to feel like your alone in these thoughts because you're not and.."

jisung hears seojun's voice break, and when he glances back at the older, he's looking somewhere else, fingers still gently kneading jisung's back as he tries his best to think of what to say next. "i don't know, it always feels hard to think clearly these days".

jisung's face falls, seojun doesn't disclose things like this, he'd rather die before ever crying in front of anyone. he bites his bottom lip, but seojun shakes off whatever he was previously thinking, lightly laughing to himself. "sorry i don't know where that came from".

"no no no it's fine it's good to talk about how you feel".

seojun snickers, humored. "well now you sound like me" he turns jisung's head back forward, being only the gentlest with him, of course. the older treats jisung as if he's a fragile piece of glass. "i know i'm usually jokey or whatever but.. i don't know i'm just worried for the future of the group, i don't know what i'm going to do after graduating".

jisung blinks. "what's that supposed to mean?"

seojun goes silent for a few moments, letting out a small sigh. "seorin and i were talking about it once, how following graduation i'd probably leave the group".

just the three words 'leave the group' are enough to make jisung's stomach drop, he feels like he's about to throw up just hearing them. seojun can't leave.. what would that be like? how would jisung fare well if seojun wasn't around?

"what do you mean leave?"

seojun sighs. "jisung—"

"you can't leave! you're not going anywhere, your— your staying" jisung doesn't ask, he states, all seojun can do is pause his little ministrations and try to calm down the youngest.

"jisung—"

"why did that conversation even come up?"

"because we were just talking and.." seojun hides his face behind his hands. "i don't know, i don't have much use after i graduate i'll just be tossed out by sm, it doesn't really matter what i do".

"yes it does" jisung presses, grabbing seojun's hands. "you're not leaving the group, i'm not going to let you".

seojun allows for himself to laugh. "you're not going to let me?"

"no, and chenle won't either, probably, you can't go it'll just—" jisung pauses, gathering his words. "it won't be the same without you".

seojun stays silent for a while, basking in the feeling of jisung's hand in his own and their breathing in the now soundless living room. "okay, i'm sorry i just.." he twirls a strand of hair between his finger. "i don't know, i was just in a bad spot when i brought that up, i'm just not feeling my greatest".

jisung frowns again, now upset that the older is upset. "it's really fine, if you want to talk about it we can.."

"no, we don't have to" seojun quickly dismisses, waving off jisung's words. the maknae narrows his eyes, a look of pity in them that he knows seojun hates more than anything. "just— let's finish with this stupid massage and get you to sleep".

"what about you?"

"what about me?"

right. jisung doesn't know what he should've expected, seojun putting himself first is one of the rarest sights he'll ever behold in his lifetime. he sighs lightly as the older continues with the gentle pressing of fingers into his back, slowly feeling himself get sleepy from the ministrations. "on another note, i'm pretty sure seorin hates me".

seojun giggles. "seorin does not hate you, she literally told me she likes you!"

"then she must've been lying cause i don't remember the last time she looked at me like she wanted me in the room".

seojun narrows his eyes at jisung, finding the statement about his sister hard to believe. "she'll warm up to you eventually".

jisung frowns, sending seojun an 'are you serious?' look. he often feels awkward around seorin, yeah she's nice and everything but she always glares daggers at jisung, he assumes it's all unintentional, but it doesn't stop him from being endlessly intimidated by her.

seojun can't believe the words escaping jisung's lips, because to him, seorin is probably the least intimidating person he knows, but he also knows her better than anyone else. "i hope that eventually is soon because i can't deal with feeling like your own twin sister hates me".

"she doesn't" seojun reassures once again, stopping his message and placing his chin on jisung's shoulders. "can't you trust me on this?"

jisung finally gets to look at seojun closer, though he rarely has to turn his head to get a good look at the older. "i always trust you" he whispers unconsciously, he originally meant to think that, but judging by seojun's reaction, he knows that he indeed did not think it, and he said it out loud.

if there's any sign of a red hue on seojun's face, he quickly shakes it away and clears his throat. "alright um— massage over, it's time to sleep".

seojun quickly moves away from jisung, whose silently confused about his change in behavior. "seojun?"

"hm?"

"can i uh.." jisung pauses, he doesn't stand up right away, feeling seojun poke his cheek and then pull it. "can i stay in your room tonight?"

seojun chuckles immediately, probably his fastest response to jisung this whole night. "of course, you didn't have to ask" jisung knows that, seojun would've even made the offer himself, that's just the way he is.

jisung just knows how seojun is, he's become very in tune with the older.

"okay come on, you need sleep".

and what else can jisung do but follow?

five

"it's cold".

if jisung knew having to promote in the middle of the december meant he'd be provided a sweater only half the time, he would've faked a sickness or something. don't get him wrong, all the songs are so fun to perform, but he was never truly on board with the whole winter special album thing, he likes performing in not so hot but not so cold temperatures. having to promote in the middle of december is not his thing, even with him being a winter baby himself.

he felt as if he wasn't made for the cold.

"you've been saying that for the past five minutes, we get it jisung-ah".

jisung gasps at the comment from jaemin, feigning offense at the words. he doesn't care if he has to repeat it another seven times, he will, it's unbearably cold in this waiting room, and jisung isn't wearing anything that covers his arms. of course he isn't the only one here without a sweater, hikari is currently on his phone, trying his best not to shudder, and jaemin seems to be happy in all of his sweater-less glory, probably because he gets to show off his arms or something.

"well as i will continue to say that! it's freezing in here!" jisung exclaims, a frown on his face as he earns nothing but a laugh from his fellow members. he crosses his arms, looking away from the rest of the group in fake anger. "i'm the maknae, you guys should be caring for me.."

"just ask noona for a sweater".

"i— she's busy i don't want to waste her time!" jisung is quick to yell, but he really just doesn't know how to approach her, he doesn't want to make anything awkward. he also just really hates asking for help, so he lets the goosebumps begin appearing on his skin, trying his best not to shiver in the freezing temperature of the room.

"then stop complaining if you won't ask" jisung snaps his head towards chenle, opening his mouth to make some snippy remark, but he's quickly cut off by the small sound of the door colliding with the wall. "we're back~!"

in walks mark and, of course, seojun, who are wearing joyous smiles on their faces, plastic bags in their hands. jisung hums at the sight of them, whilst donghyuck jumped up excitedly at the sight of the leader and second youngest. "did you get them!?"

mark sighs, pretending to be disappointed that the snacks they went to get are all donghyuck cares about. "yes, we got them, we got enough as well".

"we've been saved! thank you!"

jisung watches the members rush to get the snacks they so desperately begged the others for, he doesn't really want anything, he's not hungry at the moment. so now the members are gorging on their little treats, their hearts happy, thanks to mark and seojun. "you don't want anything?"

"hm? no, i'm fine" jisung responds quickly, but then he feels uncomfortable again, trying his best to keep calm in this terribly freezing room. "it's just so cold!"

mark raises an eyebrow. "you're cold?"

"what do you mean? it's very cold in here.." hikari chimes in, clearly shivering when he mutters those words. the leader, whose wearing a jacket, has no idea what kind of cold these two could even be feeling at the moment. "jisung's been professing that for the past hour".

"not the past hour! it's just.. very cold" jisung reiterates for pretty much the hundredth time that hour, trying his best to warm himself up by rubbing his hands together.

"you guys are cold? i'm hot" seojun comments, unzipping his sweater as he stares at his fellow 02 liner, who gives him a dumbfounded look, it seems that hikari also shares the sentiment jisung has in his head.

"that's cause you're weird! you never get cold!"

"well it's not cold!"

"it's never cold for you!"

jisung exchanges glances between the two nct sei members, humored by their small argument about the weird temperature physics regarding seojun's body. jisung finds seojun confusing, he's constantly energetic but never tired, constantly hot but never cold, what kind of a person is he?

"jeez your shivering.."

jisung flinches the moment seojun's finger graces his goosebump filled arm, his hands are always so cold, he thinks seojun might be a walking ice block, elsa's long lost cousin or something, he's always so cold, a clear contrast to his personality. "yeah i'm shivering! do you not the feel the below zero temperature in this room?"

"nope, your whining so much, you could at least take it like a champ like jaemin hyung".

jisung scoffs, wrapping his own arms around himself in other attempt to try and heat himself up manually. he gives a frown, and his fellow 02 liner does nothing but laugh at his display. "are you enjoying my misery, seojunie?"

"very much".

"of course you are" jisung crosses his arms, turning away from seojun with that same frown remaining on his face. he hears the kang chuckle again behind him, and a small shuffle he can't exactly explain.

it's not until jisung feels someone put something over his shoulder, that he realizes what happened.

seojun took off his sweater, and gave it to jisung.

the maknae immediately feels rebuttal, moving to take the sweater off but only feeling seojun's hand get placed on his shoulder. "don't even think about taking it off".

jisung sighs, shaking his head. "seojun i'm not wearing this.."

"you said you were cold, right? take the sweater" seojun doesn't seem to care, seeing that he looks virtually unaffected by the freezing temperature of the room. jisung's about to disagree again, and seojun can tell before he even opens his mouth.

"jun, i was just being overdramatic i don't actually—"

"jisung, stop being stubborn, your cold, i'll be fine" the older is quick to cut him off, shoving his hands into his pant pockets and humming along to a song playing in his head. it's that one paramore song he's been obsessed with since forever that jisung still doesn't know the name of.

jisung hesitates for a moment, registering the feeling of the sweater on his back. seojun just nudges him, a knowing look in his eye. finally, not wanting to be scolded any more for being stubborn, jisung puts on the sweater, the fabric smoothly slipping through his wrists and immediately making him feel comfortable. "uh.. seojun?"

seojun turns back to the maknae, smiling. "yes?"

jisung fidgets awkwardly, settling with the feeling of the fabric against his skin. "thank you" he says, just a little whisper that's meant to be kept between the two of them, jisung isn't sure why he whispers exactly, but he felt that in the specific moment, he couldn't control the volume of his voice.

seojun smiles at the words, his smile is beautiful, jisung thinks it compliments his features so well. "it's nothing, jisungie, you know i'm always here for you".

seojun doesn't have to say the words for jisung to know, his actions already speak loud enough to him. the maknae continues to fidget with his fingers, but he shares a smile with seojun, a small feeling of elation soaring through him.

jisung knows that, as long as seojun's around, he's always going to look after him.

and he doesn't mind it, really, he loves it, in fact.

+ one

jisung feels like he hasn't seen seojun all day.

he's seen the older maybe once or twice, but he hasn't exactly seen him. he feels like he hasn't heard him speak, or seen him smile, or heard him crack some stupid joke in years, jisung knows even the most energetic of people have their days, but seojun? seojun is mr. 'i don't care how tired i am i'm going to scream in your face all day', but seojun practically feels invisible today.

jisung knows seojun is tired, he knows seojun, he knows the older's constant all nighters would catch up to him eventually, but he feels like a ghost today, like he's just dragging himself around.

jisung is.. very worried.

"where's seojun?"

the first person to look up is hikari, who seems just as confused as jisung. hikari usually always knows where seojun is, but that's because the older seems to have some tracking device on him or something. he blinks for a moment, confusion coloring his face. "i don't know.."

"for once" jaemin snorts, and all the older does is glare at him, flicking him in the forehead. jaemin gives his best pitched up squeal at the collision, pouting as he rubs his forehead, but hikari pays him no mind, waving him off. "ow! you're so mean.."

"stop being stupid then".

jisung just stands there awkwardly, still having no answer to his question, he has to admit, he is starting to get a little bit weird, his leg bouncing up and down as his mind races with..thoughts. if seojun were here, right now that is, he'd talk with jisung about it, he'd run his hand up and down jisung's back comfortingly and do the seojun thing.

the seojun thing is what jisung calls the little mind reading powers seojun has. seojun is basically a master at everything jisung, he can tell what he's thinking, why he's thinking it, what he's about to say, and why he's about to say it. he thinks seojun knows him more than he knows himself sometimes, he's just so good at things pertaining to him.

"you're looking for seojunie?" renjun suddenly inquires, entering the room with his eyes pointed at his phone. at the sight of jisung's nod, the older gives a small frown, but jisung can't figure out why. "he's still practicing, i think".

jisung furrows his eyebrows, it is way too late for anyone to still be at sm. "at this time?" he questions, what the hell is he doing? he only earns a shrug from renjun, who is just as confused as he is.

"he said something about wanting to get extra practice in, it has been a while, though.."

that's all jisung needs to hear, he mutters a tiny "thank you" and goes back to his room to get his jacket, not focused on anything but seojun and his weird late night practicing. when hikari and jaemin interrogate him on where he's going, all he says is that he's going to check up on seojun, make sure he's okay. he pretends to have no idea why jaemin is staring the way he's staring, whatever that taunting look means.

jisung doesn't like leaving the dorm after dark, it's strange to him, but he has to get seojun before the older ends up sleeping at the sm entertainment building.

his jacket isn't zipped up, and the nightly breeze isn't exactly warm, but jisung doesn't care, he's only focused on seojun, seojun who he pretty much hasn't seen all day, seojun who he pretty much hasn't heard all day, seojun who he just wants to make sure is okay, and healthy, and alive and totally not suffering.

when jisung steps into the sm entertainment building, a strange shiver run downs his spine. it's like a ghost town in there, save for a few murmurings he can hear from the some of the rooms littered in the halls.

but he doesn't allow for himself to stray away from his main objective, quickly turning and heading to the practice room. jisung always thought these halls spread way too far, it was only a good few feet, but sometimes, especially at night, it felt like an eternity. he almost feels like he walks forever, and when he makes it to the door of the practice room, he pauses.

it's silent, no music, no footsteps hitting the floor, no heavy breathing, it's just silent. the silence concerns jisung, because seojun is known for making noise, but he doesn't allow for his anxieties to amplify, just places his hand on the doorknob and turns it.

the lights are still on, jisung notices, so seojun couldn't have left. when he finally looks down, he finds seojun. seojun is dozed off, asleep on the floor with his arms caged around himself. jisung lets out a sigh of relief, it could've been worse, he doesn't exactly know how, but it could've.

but seojun's okay, he's just sleeping, taking a much needed nap. jisung hurries over to his fellow 02 liner, peacefully lying on the floor with his head rested on his arms. he taps him lightly, not wanting to startle the older. "seojun".

"hm?" the response is silent, and seojun shifts in just the slightest, but he doesn't open his eyes. jisung frowns, shaking him by the arm. "what? what?" that seems to do the trick, because seojun rubs his eyes, finally sitting up and trying to shake off any tiredness. "oh— oh god hi, what time is it?"

seojun looks shaken, like he just got hit with the worst kind of realization imaginable. jisung usually never sees him like this, but he guesses it has to do with him being tired. so, he gives a small smile, rubbing seojun's shoulder softly. "hi, it's like.. ten, almost eleven".

the words make seojun's eyes widen, he looks terrified, like this time was horrible for him or something. "oh— oh my god i fell asleep i didn't even mean to.."

"hey it's fine" jisung reassures, placing both of his hands on seojun's shoulders. "you were just tired, you needed that sleep anyway".

it doesn't seem the words ease any of seojun's worries, cause the older just looks away, the look in his eyes telling jisung that this is a much more important thing to him than he thought. "did you eat today?" the maknae immediately blurts, making seojun snap his head towards him.

the question is the kind of question seojun always asks, the kind of question he asks every few hours to make sure jisung isn't skipping meals. seojun pauses, thinking about it.. or thinking about what to answer. "..yeah".

jisung narrows his eyes, that's a lie.

"seojun".

"what? i'm not lying!"

"when?"

seojun scoffs, turning around with crossed arms. jisung sighs, he knows he's stubborn himself, but seojun is even more stubborn, he'll never admit his lies even if he was being held at gunpoint. "stop nagging me.."

"i'm not nagging you i'm concerned for your well-being!" jisung whisper-yells, pulling seojun closer to him, as the older was scooting away. "i just need to make sure you're alright, i haven't seen you all day and.. your health is important to me, seojun".

the older blinks, as if registering the words in his mind. jisung suddenly feels his face burn, feeling seojun's eyes look him up and down. seojun snickers, playfully nudging the younger. "aww, thank you" seojun gives his best fake pout, over exaggerating it to tease jisung.

jisung just scoffs, lightly pushing seojun's shoulder. the older just laughs at his response, staying on the floor as jisung gets up, dusting off his pants. "come on".

seojun blinks, as if dumbfounded. "come on where?"

"were going to the convenience store, i'm getting you something" jisung tries his best to pull seojun up off the floor, even with how the older seemed adamant on staying down. he's finally able to lift seojun up, much to the dismay of the kang, who frowns.

"you don't have to get me anything" seojun mumbles, staring down at his own moving feet on the floor. "don't spend your money on me" he says, looking up at jisung with an indescribable look on his face.

jisung just shakes his head. "don't try to argue with me, your hungry, you'd do the same for me.."

the words make seojun go silent, and he removes jisung's grip from his arm, intertwining their fingers. he's.. not used to this, he's the one who does the taking care of, he's not the one whose usually taken care of.

seojun has spent so much of his time in this group just looking after jisung, and the maknae never knew how to thank him besides giving him a few small smiles and muttering awkward "thank you's". seojun never asked for anything in return, obviously, but jisung always felt like he never offered enough to seojun, even with how the older has always been looking after him, since the two of them entered sm entertainment.

then, seojun smiles, squeezing jisung's hand laced with his. "thank you" he replies, turning away from the younger with a flustered feeling he can't exactly explain.

jisung smiles seeing seojun smile. "it's nothing, really, it's the least i can do".

seojun doesn't respond to that, just squeezes his hand again.