#i dont need many i just need (1) irl

[faziiku]

duo so good that i physically cannot separate them (when one spawns in, they bring the other. help, theyre multiplying.)

[ibyul]

Mystery boys keep popping up in my dreams to be nice to me… where are these boys irl

[exerlin]

my life would be so much better with a 2nd non-bathroom room and a bunny rabbit

[cy-cyborg]

I'm begging dragonage fans to do a tiny bit of research about arm amputees before loudly shouting their opinions on the inquisitor returning in the next game Please lol.

Apparently, it was confirmed that the inquisitor, your chatacter from the last game (who looses their arm in the final cutscene of the DLC), will return in Veilguard as a customisable character, similar to Hawke, and they will play an active roll in the story. This has caused a lot of people to start speculating on how they'll handle the inquisitor's missing hand, with most people agreeing they'll have to have a prosthetic to be an active part of the story. Which, while I do think this is the rought bioware will take, isn't true, and a part of me really hopes they leave the inquisitor without a prosthetic arm like in the end of Tresspasser

Partially because we already have a companion with a prosthetic (neve) and it would be nice to see some diversity in how amputation is depicted in such a mainstream game, but also because you dont need a prosthetic to fight as any of the main 3 classes from inquisition.

Mage:

mages just need a staff, the game shows them as 2 handed weapons but it's totally beleiveable that it would be usable 1-handed (Neve also uses a dagger-like weapon in the trailer, you can make a "staff" in inquisition that functions more like an energy sword, and the Mage in the chargers uses a staff resembling a bow, so I think it's more that they just need a focus, the shape doesn't matter as much). A knight enchanter may struggle more 1 handed, but I wouldn't write it off as an option with some modifications made to their main staff.

Warrior:

the easiest to justify, because there are several cases of arm amputees fighting with a sword and sheild in history, and while many did have prosthetics, most weren't functional (meaning they were mainly for aesthetic purposes and didn't actually aid the fighter in any way. There were exceptions, like Götz of the iron hand, who's prosthetic was functional, but most were not). The inquisitor looses their arm just above the wrist*, so they still have most of their forearm. Most sheilds strap to the forearm, so it wouldn't take much adjustment to make that work, and you can use the other hand for the weapon. Obviously, two-handed weapons will probably be off the table, though, lol.

*edit to say, as several people pointed out, i got that wrong, my bad 😅. The inquisitors arm is actually amputated through the elbow, the screenshots i was looking at just weren't very clear and it has been a while since i got to trespasser lol. It would still entirely possible to strap a shield to the upper arm though, with some pretty minor adjustments to the existing straps on standard (as in, those used by non-disabled warriors) tall shields, so the point still stands.

Rogue

this is the one people tend to be the loudest about and the one I understand the most. Obviously duel-weilding daggers won't work (unless you give them something like the hidden blades in assassin's creed on their stump side, I guess) but using a single dagger still would, and is a perfectly reasonable approach, given that's how most irl people used daggers. Archery, though, absolutely can work without a prosthetic, despite what people think. Dragonage has crossbows, not something like Bianca (rip) but a small, single-handed crossbow is an option. Even ignoring that though, amputee archery is a thing irl, and not every arm amputee uses prosthetics for it. The bows are modified to be held in one hand and drawn with the mouth using a kind of pully-system built into the bow that I could very easily see being modified into some dwarven-style contraption in game (some double arm amputees use their feet to draw regular bows, but I don't think that would be pheasable in combat).

Like I said, I think bioware will probably go with a prosthetic, but i hope that they don't. Or at the very least, show them with it sometimes and without it other times (the same goes for Neve, no one wears their prosthetic 24/7, I'd love to see them both take them off around the home base, even just occasionally). A lot of arm amputees in particular prefer to go without one, and arm prosthetics in media are some of the worst offenders of the "perfect prosthetic"/"miracle cure prosthetic" tropes. It doesn't count as "diversity" or disability representation if it doesn't actually change anything other than the look of the chatacter, and im really, really desperate for some actually decent amputee representation in games.

[wanderingcritter]

Jumping on the species transition plans trend lol, here are some ways I plan to physically and socially transition !

Physical:

• Fang Implants

- I will get these if it kills me.

• Digitigrade Leg Prosthetics

- Stupid expensive but omfg these would bring me sm euphoria, even if I could only wear them every now and then. Paws crossed they'll become cheaper and more accessible in the near future.

• Realistic Tail with Silicone Core

- Also generally pricey but significantly more accessible. I love wearing taxidermy tails but am always frustrated by how disproportionate they are to the size of my body and how they just limply hang there, having smth that looks more natural and moves with my body would be huge.

• Tattoos

- Unsure of what exactly I'd want, maybe paw/hopf prints on the backs of my hands?

• Colored Contacts

- Would need to find some that are comfortable, durable, and don't impact my vision too much (im blind enough as is), but Im very ready to go "It's the fluorescents 😒" mode.

• Reflective Contacts

- I have absolutely no idea if these are real things or not but I would actually kill a man to have contacts that reflect back when someone shines a light on them in the dark.

• Piercings

- Idk lots of piercings just give me werewolf vibes ig lol, currently planning to get a second industrial, 1-2 eyebrow piercings, and snakebites.

• Muscles

- Having more visible muscles/being strong is very animalistic to me, after all most animals in the wild have to be physically fit to survive.

• Realistic Ear Headband

- Goes along the tail, would love to wear these frequently and casually out in public. Kemonomimi gaining popularity has opened up so many possibilities to me it's epic.

• Top Surgery

- Species identity and gender identity are deeply linked for me, most things that are gender affirming are also species affirming and vice versa. Having a flat chest would feel hella animal-like.

Social:

• Come Out to Friends and Family

- This is definitely the biggest one. Unfortunately greater society isn't really ready for species transition, but some individuals definitely are. Basically just let those I trust know who I am, and that it would be wonderful if they could refer to me as nonhuman when they can :]

• Unmask Animalistic Behaviors in Public

- Be less afraid to be a little more nonhuman around others like it's the most normal thing in the world. Using my hand to bat at my ear when it itches, yip and whimper to accentuate words, practice quadrobics, etc.

• Advocacy

- Talk to people irl about nonhuman identities, be visible at events, create informative resources, even if it's scary. Most people have no idea that we exist, showing them that we're out there and here to stay paves the way for successful transition on a larger scale.

Hopefully more options will become possible soon, those of us looking to pursue species transition are kinda limited by the technology of our time, which sucks balls. Especially for someone like me who doesn't like body/facial hair or extreme body mods, I dont have too many realistic options for the time being. Oh well, just means I'll have to get creative i guess.

[dwaekkicidal]

Sharing is Caring [3: HyunLix]

˚ʚHyunLix x fem!Readerɞ˚

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: Hyunjin and Felix take after their leader, using their way to push your body just far enough past its limit.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 4.4k

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader, chanlix mxm mentions before the 1st divider, ot8 x reader mentions, chris x reader fluff in the very beginning, 'baby girl' and 'princess' used (1) time each, threesome, rough sex, mentions of chan/chris x reader and filming+sharing the video, hard(?)dom hyunjin, soft dom lix, overstimulation, filming, fingering, squirting, yellow from the light system is called (1) time, p in v (be safe about it irl), oral (f and Hyun receiving), spanking, slight aftercare mentions, that should be all?

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ notes: we dont talk about how late this is lol. Also sorry if the plot parts seem rushed >< I didn’t know what else to fluff it up with but there was already so many words so i left it as is lol

Sharing is Caring Masterlist

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

Chris’ hands roam up and down your back as the two of you lay on the couch in his dorm, you settled between his legs and draped lazily over his torso. His chin pokes at the top of your head as he strains himself slightly to look down, eyes sparkling with nothing but admiration and love. You stare up with a similar expression, a small smile taking over your features as the TV show is long forgotten.

“I’ve missed this.” His voice comes out hushed and quiet as he tries to keep this moment private, not taking even the slightest chance to wake up his roommates. It was super late into the night, past 2 am if you had to guess, and this was the first time in weeks he had gotten alone time with you.

You smile a little wider and nod, resting your cheek near his shoulder as a hand comes up to rest on his cheek. “It has been a while. The boys have been throwing me between each other so I haven’t had any alone time with you. Let alone one on one time with the others-'' He laughs before quieting himself again, “Yeah… They really have.”

A comfortable silence fills between you two for a while after that until you notice that Chris is making a weird face, a cute one though. It’s the face he makes when he’s thinking about something really hard so you poke him a few times, tickling him in an attempt to get an explanation out of him. He smiles at you again and thinks to himself as if he is trying to find the right words. “How do you think I should go about trying to sleep with one of the other boys?” The question makes you perk up and you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Sleep as in… have sex with?” You laugh lightly before laying back down against his chest. “Is this about Han?” He bites his lip and looks up at the ceiling. “Yes and no? Uh… basically that first night we opened up the relationship, Han told me that he messes around with Felix sometimes. I’ve always been interested in Lix, but it's gotten worse lately. I just don’t know how to go about it…”

You massage his ear as you get lost in thought, tenderly rubbing the area there in an attempt to calm his nerves. “I mean… realistically, you could just be honest with him. I mean, this is Felix we’re talking about. I don’t think you could offend him or cross a line with him even if you tried.” He chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“If it would make you feel better, I can tell him that you want to talk about something and get the two of you some alone time. I can even distract the boys for you if you need it.” You both laugh and he nods in agreement.

He deems it bedtime not long after that, helping you to your feet before joining you on the short journey to his bedroom. Already being in your pajamas, you just throw yourself on his mattress and groan when he throws himself on top of you. Some giggles are exchanged before he normally lays on his back and pulls you into his chest, smiling to himself as you nod off.

“Good night, baby girl. I love you.”

It was around noon the next day when you woke up. You were used to the feeling of the bed being empty thanks to Chris’ tendency to leave early and head to the studio with the other two producers. However, today was a little different thanks to an unknown figure who throws themself on the bed behind you, wrapping their arms around you and whispering a deep “Good morning.”

Hyunjin walks into your vision and smiles sweetly, laying down in front of you and snuggling close to you. He shoves his face into your neck and places tickling kisses there as you come to your senses. Felix pokes his head out from behind you and pulls you to lay on your back before assaulting your face with kisses, causing you to smile and wiggle between the two of them. 

After a while of cuddling and sleepy kisses, the three of you eventually get up in order to get some food in your stomachs. As you all ate, Felix explained that everybody else was busy doing their own things and he was lonely in the other dorm, so he came over to spend some time with you and Hyunjin. Then, once everybody ate, Hyunjin dragged you out to the living room to hang out with them despite your pleas to go back to bed and nap, which is how you all ended up cuddling on the couch watching Felix play Tekken (and losing miserably).

The boys sometimes snuck you kisses between rounds, conversing with each other and updating you about the newest songs or choreos as well as any promotions you were unaware of. You could tell something else was on their minds though. Between matches Felix would nervously bite his lip and try to sneak his hand to his neck, checking the pulse while he and Hyunjin exchanged weird faces at each other. You ignored it at first, but once Hyunjin started fidgeting from his spot beside you, you finally made them spit it out.

Now… Both men were aware of how you could squirt. Hell, the whole group was! They all witnessed it themselves when a 3-minute video was sent to the group chat a week ago: the video containing your lower half with Chris’ fingers shoved deep into your cunt that spewed a waterfall towards him and his phone’s lens. They all admitted how insanely hot it was, but ultimately moved on from it and hadn’t brought it up again. These two, however, just could not get it out of their heads. More so, they wondered if they could get you to that point and wanted to experiment.

And that is unfortunately how you found yourself in your current situation. An hour later with both men on each end of you; Felix sitting up on his knees with your head in his lap and Hyunjin between your legs, holding them open as he ate you out like it was the last meal he would get his hands on. They had spent the first 30 minutes or so minutes on foreplay, riling you up in all your favorite ways before you were even given the chance to undress. And since then, they managed to pull multiple orgasms from your body in this same position. They insisted on making you squirt their way instead of Chris’; meaning they slowly relaxed you and your body with foreplay for as long as they desired before using meticulous movements to overwhelm you. 

“You can do it, love. You gotta make a mess for us so we can fuck you.” The deep voice in your ear pulls you back down to earth and you shiver in his hold when his fingers return to your nipples like they had before your last orgasm hit. You can only nuzzle your cheek further into his thigh, letting out pathetic moans as the onslaught between your legs continues. Hyunjin never once pulled away from you, instead mumbling his response against your clit while his fingers hooked themselves inside of you.

They could tell you were close again and they worked harder, desperately wanting to see you squirt with their own eyes, not through the pixels of their phones. You knew yourself that you were almost to that point, you could feel it in your bones, but you also weren’t used to the gentleness of things. Chris always bullied his fingers in you aggressively, though extremely pleasurable at the same time, so you needed a little something else to push you over the edge. And, somehow, the younger of the two was already way ahead of you.

One of his hands was removed from your chest and in the corner of your blurry eyes, you could see him reach for a thin black object. The sudden bell-like sound of a recording beginning was played right next to your ear. You blinked away the blurriness in your eyes and watched as Felix panned his phone down to Hyunjin’s face, zoning in on the tongue licking shapes into your clit. He then moved the phone right under your face and zoomed in, letting you get an enhanced sight of the boy between your thighs and making you moan loudly.

Your eyelids tried to flutter shut but you held them open, desperate to watch the enhanced image of your beautiful boyfriend’s face that was glistening from your juices. Hyunjin caught on fast and tried to rile you up more, teasingly staring straight into the camera lens and licking a long and rough line along your clit. You even got a short glimpse of his tongue literally dripping from your cum as he pulled away to reposition his tongue inside of you.

Felix takes the chance to remove his free hand from your chest and reach forward, rubbing his fingers messily around your clit. It was all too much. Felix’s phone pointing at you as he humps the air by your head and occasionally pinches your clit mixed with Hyunjin’s long fingers bullying against your g-spot all while his tongue curves at the very entrance of your cunt and while he stares up at you intensely has you overwhelmed in all the right ways.

Your head is thrown back as you moan pathetically at the feeling of you gushing. Your legs desperately try to close around Hyunjin’s head, but Felix removes the hand on your clit and drops the phone on the bed to wrap his hands around the underside of your knees, holding them to your chest and giving Hyunjin the freedom to continue bullying your cunt.

With your head thrown back against Felix’s thigh, you don’t get to watch as Hyunjin backs away slightly, moving the hand that was resting on your thigh to rub roughly against your clit in order to pull more from you as his shirt gets completely soaked. While he does this, his long fingers continue to curve upwards and dig into your G-spot.

"F-Fuck! Wait!!" You moan out a cry and shoot your arms down to push his hands away, only for his now-soaked hand to come up and take hold of both of your wrists. They hold you tightly like this, keeping you in place as they push your body’s limits. What feels like hours of begging passes before you genuinely feel like you’re gonna pass out. The amount of wetness that falls from you has lessened more and more as they continue, but it hasn’t completely stopped so you knew they would have kept going.

“O-Okay, okay! No more, p-please- Yellow!" In an instant, Hyunjin’s hands stop their movements and Felix loosens his hold on your legs, finally allowing them to slam shut as the aftershocks take over your body. Felix’s hands move up to your head, where he strokes your cheeks and coos at you. He lays down beside you and kisses your forehead, whispering sweet nothings in your ears as you come down.

“Haha.. you okay, pretty?” Hyunjin’s hands rest on your calves, soothingly rubbing the area there as he waits patiently for an answer.

“You… You guys are fucking d-demons…” you gasp out with shaky breaths. “Even Chris didn’t try to push it for that long.” Felix giggles, pulling away from your ear to nuzzle his nose against your cheek. “We gotta prepare you, baby. I know Seungmin really liked seeing you squirt. ‘Said he was gonna learn from Channie how to do it fast so he can do it to you himself.”

Hyunjin leans forward and places soft kisses on your calves, “It’s better that we got to you before he did. You know how he is.” Instantly images of your past experiences with the boy in question flood your mind, and you clench at the thought of his mean-ass in Hyunjin’s place. 

“Fuck.. Don’t tell me that... That’s so hot.” They both chuckle and continue to dote on you, even long after your body has calmed down and your breaths returned.

“You gonna let us fuck you now, baby?” Your eyes snap open at the deep whisper in your ear. You glance down and watch as Hyunjin silently studies your lower half, now shirtless and taking in every little detail as if he wanted to paint you. Hell. He probably is going to. Felix’s hands rub up and down your tummy as a silent reminder that he asked a question. “Mhm.”

“Gonna let me take care of you?” Hyunjin’s damp fingers draw shapes into your thigh with your release, trailing some of it to your hole where he dips a finger in experimentally. You whine in agreement and allow Hyunjin to flip you over, landing you on your knees as he pulls you up against his chest. You smile and lean back, relishing in the warmth he gives off. His hand reaches up and tilts your head sideways, allowing him to lock lips with you. He smiles into the kiss and his hands roam all over your body, occasionally stopping at your hips to give your ass a good squeeze.

He pulls away slightly and speaks while his lips ghost yours, “Ready, Princess?” You whine out an “mhm” and he slides his dick through your folds, pushing in after the 3rd swipe. Moans fill the room from both of you at the feeling of him pushing in and stretching your walls farther than their fingers. He pushes his lips against yours again, pushing a few more inches in before stopping to let you adjust. It doesn’t take long, thanks to their onslaught earlier, and he easily finds a comfortable pace to start with.

Though, that one is quickly thrown out the window when your walls start to wrap around his dick tightly. Out of nowhere his right hand pushes against your back, shoving you forward so you’re on your hands and knees as he speeds up. Your arms wobble as he continues to fuck you, and you end up completely missing the dip in the bed in front of you. It’s not until Hyunjin’s big hand wraps into your hair and angles your head backward that you notice the pretty boy sitting in front of you.

It’s an uncomfortable angle, but Felix quickly distracts you by pushing his lips against yours. His right hand lovingly settles on your cheek as Hyunjin fucks into you, getting rougher with each passing second. Eventually, Felix pulls away, settling against the headboard again as he strokes himself sluggishly to the sight of you getting fucked.

Once he’s sat, Hyunjin takes the chance to go even deeper, now pushing your face into the sheets as he pounds into you roughly. Your hands clench the sheets and try to push your torso back up only for him to grab your arms and hold you down. His hands position on your upper arms and he uses some of his body weight to hold you down, keeping you still for him as he continues to fuck you open.

He goes deeper at this angle, faintly pushing against your cervix while simultaneously ramming into your G-spot. And when he’s fucking you this good, barely giving you time to think, your orgasm sneaks up on you all too easily. Tears fall from your eyes against the sheets and your legs shake as he drags another orgasm through your body. Your moans become choked as he continues to hold you down. He feels you cum around him and, thankfully for you, the clenching around him was all he needed to finish.

Your tight walls milk him dry as he rides his own orgasm, using you like a fleshlight while he does so. He moans loudly and thrusts sharply a few more times before slowly pulling out. Your body reacts with an aggressive shiver and he giggles, placing a kiss on your ass as his fingers try to soothe your arm in case he was too rough.

You’re thankful for it and it feels great, though it leaves your mind soon after due to how watery your brain has become. All the orgasms have started to catch up to you and your whole body feels like mush. You’re nothing more than a blob melted into the sheets as your boyfriends’ hands run all over your body. The only slightly grounding thing that pulls your mind back to earth is the deep voice that rings in your ears.

“How are you, baby? Talk to me.” You look up to see Felix hovering over you, face scrunched in concern. You chuckle at the sight of your boyfriend and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down into you and placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “‘M good, I promise. My body jus’ feels like putty right now.” You giggle again and he finally relaxes, leaning forward to place kisses along the tear streaks on your cheeks. 

Despite the sweet moment you share with your boyfriend, your worn-out body craves for more. One of your hands unwraps from his neck and rakes down his back, digging your nails into the skin there playfully. Then, the hand still around his neck wraps into his hair and tugs it lightly. He moans into the kiss and unintentionally bucks his hips against yours, growling as he pulls away. “Baby…”

You hold back a laugh and peck his lips, pushing him over and flipping your positions so that you’re straddling his hips. His still-hard cock is sitting directly under your crotch and you teasingly grind against it. He sighs happily and his eyes flutter shut for a moment and his hands reach out to grab your hips tightly.

“Can I ride you, Lixie?” His eyes snap open and he nods desperately. He dives a hand between you and grabs his base, angling himself upwards as you lift your hips. His other hand rests on your hip tightly and, once his tip pokes at your entrance, he pulls you back down into him. The slide makes you whine, still overly sensitive. But you’ll be damned if you’re not getting both men tonight.

Both of his hands rest on your hips, drawing circles into your skin there as you take deep breaths. You sit there for a while it seems because before you have time to adjust fully, a harsh slap is sent to your ass. You were caught off guard, not expecting such a powerful hit from the boy below you who tended to be softer with you. But then, you’re reminded that your other boyfriend was still in the room. The older man lands another smack, unhappy with your still unmoving form.

“What happened to wanting to ride him, Princess?” He wraps a hand around your torso, angling it up to wrap around your neck as his other rests just above Felix’s on your hip. He uses the grip there to start moving you, bouncing you up and down, albeit slowly at first. But you both know Felix doesn’t mind. Especially not when he has such a big smirk painted on his face.

Hyunjin continues fucking you up and down on top of Felix, occasionally squeezing your neck until you start to move on your own. Then he lets you go completely, causing you to fall forward and just barely catch yourself with your hands on either side of Felix’s head. You lose your rhythm for a moment, only for Felix to thrust up into you roughly as if to remind you what you should be doing.

His hands move down to your ass as you begin to ride him again, this time desperately chasing his orgasm as yours builds up fast again. You purposefully clench around him from time to time, thriving off the way he moans loudly and twitches at the feeling. Before you realize it, Hyunjin is kneeling beside you, pumping himself and looking at you with the sexiest smile ever.

However, you only get to admire it for a moment before his hand creates a makeshift ponytail in your hair and pulls you towards him. The new angle forces you to stretch a little and causes your hips to stop moving. They’ve pushed your body through so much in the last couple of hours, so you can’t help but lose focus all too easily. You can’t multitask and take care of them as much as you wish you could. So, you instead focus on sucking Hyunjin off and only grind your hips slowly against the man below you.

Felix whines, sighing loudly before lifting your hips a few inches. You’re not given any time to react before he plants his feet in the bed and starts to fuck up into you roughly. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and your jaw manages to drop further. Hyunjin laughs, the push and pull between the two men becoming more entertaining for him than anything else. He decides it’s his turn now and tightens the grip on your hair, thrusting his hips slightly each time he shoves you down, making you deepthroat him and choke around his dick.

You sit still, pliant even, as you let both men use you as they wish. You’re so close and you trail a hand between your legs, amidst all the bullying your cunt is receiving, and rub your clit back and forth. You moan loudly around Hyunjin as you cum, your orgasm crashing down on you just as intensely as the other ones. Felix’s hips falter due to your persistent clenching catching him off guard. His hips slow to a complete stop as he revels in the feeling of your walls fluttering around his dick.

And, thankfully for you, Hyunjin finishes soon after you do., the vibrations from your moans sending him over the edge. He watches with furrowed eyebrows and parted lips as you swallow around him and his teeth catch his lip as he pulls you off, whimpering slightly at the way you suck harshly to get every last drop. His legs twitch when you especially suck his tip hard, and he huffs out a laugh.

“Can’t go one day without being a troublemaker, huh?” He laughs and places a kiss on your forehead before backing away, allowing the younger to chase his own orgasm. He disappears after that and, had you been paying close enough attention, you would have noticed the sound of the bathroom door opening.

But you can’t be bothered by that. Not when Felix is pulling out and flipping the two of you again. He shoves you onto your back, pushing your legs up and to the side. One arm rests on his forearm by your head as the other positions his dick again. Your eyes lock with his as he pushes in again, moans falling from both of your lips as he sets a fast pace right away.

The eye contact is held as he pummels into you. His eyes break away from yours for a moment as he leans forward and pushes his chest against yours. Messy kisses are placed along your jaw as his thrusts become sloppy.

You thought the previous orgasm was your last, but when Felix drags so nicely against your walls and shoves his tip so meanly into your already bruised G-Spot, another one sneaks up on you. Your eyes snap closed and your legs try to close around his torso as you squirt again, this time soaking your other boyfriend’s stomach.

The sheer pressure coming from your cunt forces him out of you and he only laughs, pulling away from you as he watches you gush. He holds one of your legs open as he jerks himself off, using the new wetness as a lubricant. He finishes on your stomach soon after, voice jumping back and forth between deep groans and high-pitched moans as he milks himself dry at the sight of you.

You both sit there, chests heaving and heavy breaths filling the room. His eyes rake up and down your body as he catches his breath, his hands mindlessly rubbing up and down your sides as he tries to help you calm down. Your eyes meet and he smiles widely, eyes crinkling at the corners as he giggles at you.

“You did so well, baby. I can’t believe you did it a second time…” He giggles and crawls over you, hovering over you as he pushes his lips onto yours. “Lixie…” You whine against his lips and wrap your arms around his neck. He pulls away and pushes his lips against your jaw once more, “No more, Honey. Time to clean up, okay?”

Hyunjin’s voice suddenly comes from the bathroom, in a very dramatic ‘over the intercom’ voice. “Baby 1 and Baby 2, if you could please make your way to the shower so I can give you some lovin?” You and Felix laugh at the same time and you continue to lay in your spot, even after Felix has stood on his feet. He drags you by your ankle to the edge of the bed and, despite your groans and whines, pulls you to stand with him.

The two of you wobble over to the bathroom where Hyunjin is standing in the shower. He smiles and curls his finger, gesturing to both of you to join him under the steaming water. Felix taps your ass playfully, sending you stumbling forward. Both men laugh as you stick your tongue out at the younger and speed-walk your way to Hyunjin.

The three of you squeezed into the shower and, thanks to the newer dorms, the shower is big enough to comfortably accommodate you all. They take turns washing you off and you help them wash each other off while some soft kisses and tender caresses are exchanged in the cooling water.

Your body is still shaky by the time you’re fully dressed and tangled in the new sheets with both your lovers. You’re sandwiched between them, covered by the fluffy comforter, and basking in the warmth of their bodies that are tangled with yours. Hyunjin is the first to fall asleep, cheek squished against your chest as you lay on your side facing him. Felix is behind you, one arm holding his head up and the other rubbing your shoulder softly, easing you into a slumber. Right before you give in to your exhaustion you’re reminded of your earlier conversation with Chris.

“Ah- Lixie?”

“Yes, love?”

“Channie said he wanted to talk with you about something.” You smile and wiggle your eyebrows before sleep finally takes over you, leaving a very confused Felix who just shakes his head at you mid-laugh.

Taglist:

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@baby-stay92

[gyuswhore]

Never Shall We Die (3; final)

«« Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line. »» 

PAIRING: kwon soonyoung x reader

PLAYLIST: right here!

pirate lingo glossary (pls refer!)

SYNOPSIS: Deadliest pirate on the high seas or a damn fool? The stupid King and his men have snatched Hoshi's precious pirate ship with their too clean, too soft hands; grounds to question his own vices. Except, when he and his crew land in the quarters of a navy ship, revenge on their roster, they stumble across a princess in its gallows. Hoshi wonders if he's just struck gold, or if you'd become the final tread to his downfall.

GENRES: pirate!au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut [minor dni], some pirates of the carribean vibes but ? idk

WORD COUNT [full fic]: 48.1k

Part 1: 17.07k | Part 2: 15.2k | Part 3 [final] : 15.8k

@highvern's out of context comment box: new fear unlocked: hoshi with explosives, victorian ankle moment, HATE HIM (need him carnally), hoshi covered in soapy water would distract me enough, strip for me pirate mingyu [hes litrally taking off his jacket], your honor hes a bitch, freaks!, mingyu crushes hoshi's head like a grape, WONWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, massive dick, the way i literally gasped like an old scandalized woman

masterlist

WARNINGS: slowburn, plot heavy, happy ending bc no angsty endings in this household, being taken hostage, knives, bombs, and guns, mentions of blood, mentions of SA (does not happen and it is not explicitly mentioned), alcohol, mentions of death (patricide), hoshi is ✨selectively moral✨but kind of moral nonetheless, side character death, [pls lmk if im missing something its alot] smut tags: hoshi loves thighs, corruption kink to the mAX, clit stimulation, oral (f. receiving), breast play, p in v sex (unprotected, 1800s contraception will make you prefer it but pls dont do this irl), making out

[AN]: final part oh my god if youve read the other parts up till now, THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i loved writing it, im really proud of this fic and im so happy so many of you have enjoyed it so far. @highvern betaing as always ty for not giving up on me. AS ALWAYS, PLS TELL ME YOUR THOTS IN THE RBS OR THE REPLIES OR SEND ME AN ASK LITERALLY WTV MUAH MUAH HAPPY READING <3

THIS IS THE NICEST PRISON Hoshi has ever been in, which was saying something, because he had been in quite a lot of prisons. 

But it was uncomfortable nonetheless, six grown men tied up and shoved into a crouching space to be done with as the men that prowled above pleased. 

Hoshi would be lying if he said he hadn’t had to restrain from pushing some of those sorry soldiers into the ice waters beyond the glaciers. He had resisted, the crew had resisted, but just enough to convince them of their unwillingness. 

Hoshi had realised early on that there was no possible way of getting aboard Tigress without somehow climbing aboard the King’s boat first. The king wasn’t about to simply hand Hoshi’s ship over, and there was no indication that they'd wait till after nightfall to depart. 

Hoshi also knew that the King would refuse to have him die so easily in the waters of the Green Islands, his pride depended on it. He imagines the man drawing up the specifics of the most gruesome execution the Kingdom would ever see. Hoshi was counting on it. 

The bounds could’ve been broken out of and the locks somehow picked, but Hoshi also knew that he had to wait. Wait for you to find him first. 

“What’s taking her so long?” Jun asks. He’d been the most anxious out of all, the shaking feet and restless moving making it clear. 

“The bomb won’t…go off still strapped to her, will it?” Minghao asks and Hoshi isn’t quite sure he wants to know the answer. 

“It shouldn’t. Not until she pulls the tab. But…”

“But?” Hoshi whips around. “Why is there a but? You were supposed to make sure there was no but!”

“Big bomb, more boom, less predictable!” 

“Are you sure we can’t break out and look for her ourselves?” Mingyu grumbles, the most compromised with his longer limbs folded in uncomfortable positions.

“The minute they know we’re loose they’ll swarm her. There won’t be a way to get to her, not without fighting off every last bastard on this ship. They’ve taken our stuff too, we don’t stand a chance.”

They did, actually, stand a chance. But that was only if they were to break away and head straight for Tigress that was empty and standing right beside this very ship. But they couldn’t. Hoshi couldn’t. Not without taking you with him. 

Nobody dares to suggest the easier route, and he doubts it’s just because of what he wants. 

But panic was beginning to trickle into Hoshi’s veins anyway, the closed off brig refusing to give him any indication of the time of day. 

The sun was only beginning to set when they were taken to the ship, and he knew they were near done for if they didn’t finish what they started before nightfall. He can’t tell how long it’s been, and it eats away at his insides. 

Please be okay. 

And then he hears it, the sound of a body hitting the floors with a loud thud, a chortle of air before it’s knocked out. He finds himself sitting up straighter, pressing his hands to bars of the prison, trying to peer out the narrow walkway that leads to the doors. 

And then you appear in the lamplight, haphazard and ruffled up beyond measure. 

The knife in your hand drips with blood, your shirt torn at the arms, your hands bloodied and bruised. 

When Hoshi sees your face he almost doesn’t recognise you. 

There’s angry blooming marks of red and purple all across your neck and collarbone, your eyes bloodshot and red, watering like you’d been swimming in salt water. 

“Who did this?” he asks before anything else, watching you drop to your knees in front of the prison, unanswering as you fumbled with a giant ring of keys in your hand. 

You jam each key into the lock, twisting it to no avail. Your hands are shaking. 

The crew finally twist out of their loose bonds, Minghao lurching forward immediately, swatting your hands away. He picks out a few skinny pins from his boot, picking the rusty lock. Despite the strange angle, the bars creak open within seconds. 

“There’s…There’s ropes hooked onto the ship on the main deck.” 

Your voice sounds like you’re speaking through sandpaper, talking while struggling to emerge with the bomb you had. 

Hoshi doesn’t know what to do when he crawls out of the space. 

He’d had it all figured out in his head, what would happen in every possible outcome. You getting hurt wasn’t in any of his universal conclusions; especially not on this ship. They’d kill his crew, they might even kill the King with themselves, but you were meant to remain unscathed. 

“Why–why do you look like that? What happened?” Nothing registers in his head, not even when Jun is pushing him out into the hall. 

“Get up to the deck and get out across the lines!” Jun gruffs in his ears. “That bomb’s gonna go off with us still on here.”

He sees the canister that lies in the same prison they had just exited, he sees your mouth moving without sound. All he can think of are the distinct fingerprints around your throat and how it looked like somebody tried to kill you before they tried to kill him. 

“Soonyoung,” he hears you say in a broken voice and that’s all it takes for him to snap out of it. 

His crew is looking at him expectantly. He looks back at the door and sees the crumpled bodies of the prison guards. 

So much for leaving quietly. 

The minute Hoshi is out the door of the brig, he finds a chest next to the collapsed, bleeding soldiers. Kicking it open, he can only scoff as he finds the entire crew’s weapons in such close vicinity. 

He feels better with his dagger at his hip, along with the rest of his knives that he slips into the loops. Even more so with the rest of his crew armed and ready. 

“We know where the deck is.” He swallows, eyeing his crew’s weapons in their ready hands. He knew they’d agreed to ensure the clean sinking of the ship, but the fallen bodies on the floor were an ode to a different route they’d have to take. “Don’t hesitate if someone gets in your way.”

Taking cautious steps to the upper decks, he finds more bodies collapsed onto the floor, bleeding and unconscious. He opts to ask you the details later, wondering how you were able to take down all these guards by yourself. 

It isn’t until they reach the stairs that lead to the main deck that he comes across a guard. 

Before the witness can raise any alarm, Hoshi’s slamming the butt of his dagger into the side of his head, knocking him clean unconscious as he falls off the side of the short railing. 

Clambering up the steps as quietly as possible, he raises a hand behind him to signal his crew to halt, peering into the main deck first. 

The sun is still out, but low in the sky as it dips in the sky. There’s a few people on the deck, pacing and moving about in preparation for departure. Angling his gaze, he finds ropes suspended over the edge of the railing, parallel to the water. 

He can’t see Tigress, but he knows that’s what the ropes are hooked on to. 

“Jun,” he beckons. “How long till the bomb on the other ship goes off?”

The bomb Jun had planted in the first ship they had arrived in should be going off any time now, and Hoshi finds himself needing it to go off now. 

Jun barely opened his mouth to reply when the ship shuddered. 

For a moment, Hoshi thinks the bomb in the brigs had gone off, but when he finds the clambering of boots to one side of the ship, opposite to where the ropes tied to Tigress, he realises their surrogate ship had given its last gift to the crew. 

The rest of the ship would be bounding to the main deck to inspect the noise soon, so he shoots a quick, “Hurry!” behind him before stepping onto the main deck. 

The entire deck is occupied with the ship that lies a ways away across the expanse of sea, the beginnings that would soon lead the entire ship to be engulfed in flames. It’s tilting at a dangerous angle. 

Hoshi stands as he uses the crew straight towards the ropes that lead to Tigress. Glancing, he finds Mingyu and Chan already hanging on the suspended ropes, making their way towards the empty deck of their ship. 

Hoshi keeps his eyes on the occupied men on board, still staring at the lightshow that was their old ship. It isn’t until one of them turns, eyes towards the stairs that lead to the lower decks, that his eyes dart to the unfamiliar men on the deck. 

“Fuck,” Hoshi curses, before lunging, grabbing the man by the shoulders and covering his mouth, dragging him wordlessly to the edge before throwing him off the ship and into the icy waters below. 

“Go!” he hears you rasp brom behind him, ushering him to the ropes. 

The crew is gone, Jun making the last jump to land on the deck. They’re running around, pulling ropes and fastening the sails to push the ship off into open waters as soon as possible. 

There’s two ropes that tie the two ships together, and Hoshi ushers you onto one of them, pushing you to suspend yourself before he follows. 

“There’s not enough time, go to the other one!” you tell him, pushing him to hold onto the other tattered rope. 

Soonyoung eyes your state, “Are you sure you can—”

“Yes! I promise I can, please, before they cut both the ropes.”

So he trusts you, eyes straight ahead to the railing of his ship, gripping the rough, frayed rope to push himself towards the deck. His hands burn, but he finds himself moving ever closer to his final destination. 

His hand grabs hold of the wooden railing of his Tigress at long last, pulling himself onto the deck of his beloved ship. Immediately whipping his head to his right, he tries to find you reaching the ship with him. The crew is preoccupied in attempting to get the ship ready for departure, he finds your form nowhere. 

When he looks back, the rope he had climbed was gone, leaving gaping space in its absence. He trails the second rope, from the hook that had dug into the railing of Tigress’s wood, trailing it to the naval ship’s deck. 

What he sees puts his heart in his throat. 

You stand on the deck of your father’s ship, swarmed by now alert guards and soldiers who swarm you, yelling profanities and orders as they watch their prisoners get away right in front of them. 

Hoshi watches as you lift your dagger, and cut the last rope that ties you together, free to fall and hit against the hull of his ship.

He calls out your name in what could only be described as a guttural scream. 

His crew halts whatever it was they were doing, taking the steps to realise what had just happened. 

Hoshi’s boot meets the top of the railing, ready to take the plunge into the water. He’d climb back up the ship and get you out. He doesn’t know what you were thinking, what he was thinking when he left you there, but he’d get you out. 

Arms pulling him, he’s yanked back and positively thrown onto the deck.

“What is wrong with you?” Minghao yells, pushing his captain back as he springs up. 

“She—”

Your father emerges from the crowd of guards and soldiers that run rampant on the deck, approaching you at the railing of the main deck. 

Hoshi sees the hand that remains on his shoulder, the blood that covers the still bleeding wound, the effort it takes him to simply walk. 

The bruises on your neck, the wound at his shoulder that looks like it was slashed through by a knife. 

And then it clicks in Hoshi’s head, what had truly happened in the hours that you were out of his sight. And all he sees is red.

WITH THE WAY THE words on the pages seem to double, you would’ve thought you were going mad. 

You’re a child, barely grown into your own body as you sit in the dimly lit library of the palace, utterly exhausted, wishing to be anywhere but sitting at the wooden desk with your name on it. The moon barely shone through the window, your only source of light the fireplace that burned in the corner and your lamplight. 

It was a time where you felt like you could prove yourself, that perhaps, the reason your father refused you his approval was because you were simply not working hard enough. And now, at an hour where you should be fast asleep in your four poster bed, you attempt to understand diplomatic structures and everything that made your country what it was. 

It was late, and there was nothing you would’ve liked more than to put your head on the table and rest your eyes for a few tantalising seconds, which you do, right over the book you were reading. 

You awoke in the same place, shaken awake by a panicked looking servant, the sun shining through the great windows of the palace library.

It seems your disappearance from your bedchambers had put the entire palace in disarray, not realising the princess was fast asleep behind the giant pile of books other servants had already skimmed past thrice. 

Not only were you unable to recite the rankings of the constitutions with the vigour your father required, but you were unable to give him a reason as to why you were absent for both breakfast and morning lessons. 

He made the servants kneel in the throne room for hours, and did not fail to tell you that it was all your fault.

And now, in the ice cold of the Green Islands, old and wise enough to know that your father simply needed a reason to despise his heir, you accept the hands around your throat as his final act of terror. 

Red faced and arms shaking, your father does not speak to you as he presses down on your windpipe with all his might. Your vision is going dark and splotchy, and you decide, for a moment, to let him have this moment. 

He’s too preoccupied in applying his pressure to realise that you’ve raised your right foot enough for your hands to fish out your knife from its place, taking positivity in the handle of your knife that fits in your hand. 

Before you can lose consciousness, you raise your arm high, and plunge it directly into his neck. 

Howling, he releases you from his hold, both of you dropping to the floor of the ship with a resonating thud. You cough, sputter and hack, cold hands finding your now warm neck. 

Your father lays clutching his shoulder as he remains in agony on the floor, and you realise you missed the crucial plunge in your own disarray. 

It was good enough, rendering the old man incapable of finding his bearings. 

You watch as he writhes on the floor of the quarters that almost became your figurative deathbed, the same hands that wrapped around his own daughter’s throat now clutching the shallow wound that renders him useless. 

Standing over him, throwing your own shadow on his body, you feel a surge of power, a rush of adrenaline that shoots straight to your head. Perhaps this was your circulation returning from the deprivation, but you let the feeling imprint in your soul, let your father’s broken figure bring you satisfaction.

You leave him there, writhing in pain, digging your knife under the lock of the quarters, pulling back to break it away from the door. The guards stationed outside do nothing as you leave, and it isn’t until you’ve taken to lower decks that you hear the distinct yell of, “Your Majesty!”

Two more guards, who don’t expect an altercation from their princess, simply buffer as you send your knife plunging into them both. You do it deep this time. 

Nobody was innocent, you knew these people as your father’s closest men, and knew that all of them were to remain silent as their King murdered his daughter. And when the remorse doesn’t do that thing where it trickles in after doing a bad thing, you decide you weren’t part of the innocents either.

It’s easier than you would’ve expected to get to the crew in the brig, letting out a sigh of relief as you appreciate the familiarity of people on your side. 

And when Hoshi took his place to guide everyone out and into the open space of the main deck, you let your racing mind rest and decide to trust the man in whatever decision he made to lead you all out. And he did, he led himself and his crew right into the ship that was theirs, safe and where they would have the upper hand. 

Hoshi didn’t know it when he climbed onto the ropes that lead to his boat that he wouldn’t have made it if you hadn’t stayed, hadn’t used your voice of authority to keep the soldiers from attempting to shoot at the escapees, cut the rope while Hoshi remained suspended from it, still only halfway there. 

You didn’t look at him when you sliced both ropes before either party could pull back, didn’t register him screaming your name across the void, pretending it wasn’t taking everything out of your strength.

But you couldn’t jump into the water, not now when a dozen of the royal guards remained ready to take the plunge to save their princess as their duty. The same guards that would comply with their king when told the princess was dead for reasons they all knew but were to forget. 

The bomb had to go off first, and you had to keep them away from hooking another line to the ship in the meantime. You were operating on a flawed plan and an overenthusiastic crowd of guards that were moments away from shooting a canon straight into the side of the disconnected pirate ship.  

The distraction comes in the form of your father parting the crowd of soldiers like the red sea, swatting every soldier that attempts to help his bleeding form for anything it was worth. He approaches you at the railing, and for once, you don’t look at the ground in his presence. 

“Bold,” he heaves, the effort in his voice apparent. “Bold of you to think you could slip away.”

“I haven’t tried to slip away, father,” you correct. “I’ve stayed right here, even after you failed to kill me. And I, you.” 

“Nobody is going to listen to you, child. Give in. This is the easy way out,” he says. 

As if on cue, Jun’s bomb goes off for the second time, but this time the ship shudders with more force. It has your father unbalance and fall, along with multiple other soldier’s stumbling. You grip the railing tight, counting on your father’s need to live. 

Despite your horrid throat and the ache in your body, you announce as loud as you can. “The bomb is in the brig, this ship is sinking.”

The fallen king trembles in a rage you had never quite seen before. Any other time of your life, you would’ve wished for the ground to swallow you whole to be the subject of such anger. 

Except, in the setting sun, a burning ship in the background, a pirate ship that awaits you, and the ground beneath your feet that was actively sinking into the freezing water; you smile at your doomed King. 

“Get to the brig! Secure the lower decks, do not let this ship sink or so help me God!” His voice rings across the deck, spittle blowing from his mouth at the situation. 

And just like that, your father gives you the final gift of clearing the main deck out for you, leaving but a few straggling soldiers that are too preoccupied with either the sinking ship or their bleeding sovereign. 

Looking back, you find the crew of Tigress standing at the railing, you find Hoshi already half over the edge and send him a slow nod. 

Turning back to your father that remains on the floor of the ship that would become his coffin, you utter your next words; for yourself, and the girl that was every second before this, all the way to her first ever memory of sad:

“You’ve taught me to be a ruler fit to be the best for our Kingdom. Consider your death my first act of service for the Crown.”

And then you jumped into the darkening void of the waters below. 

THE COLD FEELS LIKE every nerve in your body ceased to work. 

It was nothing at first, the temperature so intense it had your body numb in the face of shock. And then it grew, to a striking cold, and then a feeling that pricked every inch of your skin like a million needles plunging into your body. It was only getting worse with each passing second, before it was so painful it was hot, going from cold to searing and blistering like you’d plunged into the licks of flames. 

Nowhere in your body did you find a rational sense of mind, something to tell you to kick, flail or float. The warped sky was an orange through the green, only more vibrant. Like there were two ships actively burning on the surface of this water. 

Hoshi’s face appears behind your closing eyelids, like a mirage or a taunt. Like he was there with you when he wasn’t. 

Would he come for you? Would he take the plunge for the girl he held in his arms, promising her something to fill the gap of a companion, right before she killed her own? 

You’d given him what he wanted; your father, his worst enemy, dying as he sank slowly into the bottom of the ocean. You’d run your course of use, and if he was as smart as people claimed, he’d leave you to suffer the same fate as your father. 

He could find his freedom elsewhere. 

And you would find your freedom in the close of your eyes, and the sinking feeling of nothingness. 

Except, you feel a hardness against your body, stronger even than the current of the waters. Moving impossibly upwards, you remember opening your eyes to find a leather cord suspended in the float of the water, before you remember nothing. 

THE GREEN ISLANDS WERE on fire.  

But as unnatural as it seemed, Hoshi had no inclination to register anything but the way the ship in front of him tilts so far out it's already half submerged in the waters. He’d assumed they might have to ready the cannons, but with the way debris and hollowed wood floats in the waters below, they would not need to. 

The King was about to be introduced to Davy Jones’ Locker at the hands of his enemy and successor, but Hoshi could not care enough right now to relish in it. 

Right now, he stares at the direct circumference of water your body had made contact with and disappeared into, like the world would explode if he lost his place. 

“Should I jump as well?” Mingyu asks, already half taking his boots off. However, when the man turns to find his captain gone, he lurches over the railing to find his captain diving into the water through all the debris.

Hoshi lets the momentum of his dive take him as further down as possible, whipping his head around as soon as his eyes open into the abyss. The water ripples and erupts in showers of bubbles as broken pieces of ship come apart to fall into the water. It blurs his vision immensely, any ripple that could be you in the water coming out to be yet another piece of wasted wood. 

The deeper he goes, the more the water presses into his ears. He was a good swimmer, good at holding his breath when needed, but even he had limits. 

When he cannot see any sign of you, he begins to feel the churning of something skin to panic brew. Panic was never good, not this deep in the water. 

Twisting and turning, flailing about in place, moving dangerously closer to the burning ship that continued to drop flaming bits of killing slabs, he finds no sign of you in the water. 

Instead, he watches men in uniform sink deeper and deeper in their failed attempts to stay afloat. 

All he can think about is if they were losing the battle for air, then so were you, somewhere deeper in the void than he was. He prays that he’s looking aimlessly, that you’ve already somehow made your way to the surface by yourself, and you were safe on the deck. 

The beaded bracelet that remained on his wrist, but belonged to you. 

“A reason for you to come out of this alive.”

Even without the encasing on his wrist, you had given him more than enough reason to want to come out of this alive, to want to live beyond just for himself and his duty to the crew he’d taken in. 

He chose the life of a pirate because it was his only out, and every member of his crew that he recruited in succession, he acted as the hand he had needed so desperately in that awful brothel where his mother despised him and his father, a faceless man of Port Ash. 

Amphitrite was not kind, it was a lesson he learned quickly in his first ventures out at sea. So he too, had to learn to be unkind, to survive in the horrid bellies of ships that weren’t his own. And when Tigress came into his life like a vessel of hope, he found a home in her merciful wood, in the ship that he could call his very own. 

Hoshi lived as a free man on his ship, with his crew that had become his brothers in ways beyond what the thick of blood could offer. He did not care if he lived or died after that, as long as it was on his ship, in the waters that held no quarter for anyone, but gave him everything that nothing else could give him. 

And so when you approached him with a proposal so bizarre yet so apt for a man like him, he could not refuse. It may have been the way he saw himself in you, terrified of the prospects  but thirsting for an escape more than the fear that came with it. 

Besides, the king was a nuisance that needed to go, and he found himself agreeing to play the hand too complicated for you. 

What he did not expect was to end up here, in the depths of the ocean in the most uninhabitable part of the earth, trying to pull you out of the cold, unrelenting sea. 

Hoshi realises in that moment that this might ruin him, the possibility of breaking the surface without you. 

He decides that if the heavens do not let him find you, he would simply drown in the same waters that gave him purpose, and find peace with the idea that he would lay rest in the same waters as the person who might have given him something more. 

Kwon Soonyoung, the deadliest pirate to cleave the seas, was in love with you. A princess, so undeserving of a man like him; a bastard, a rogue, a good for nothing criminal. 

And when he spots the all too familiar build of your form, the linen shirt under the corset he had tied for you just hours ago, the dark brown trousers that signified the change he’d brought into your life, he swore to leave everything he’d ever known to thank the skies and seas for bringing him to you.

His burning lungs, screaming and searing for air, grabbing for your suspended arm that looked as defeated as your closed eyes. Tugging you towards him, he wraps his arm around you to press you to him as tight as he could. 

Relief. And with the warm sting in his eyes that he doubted was from the salt in the water, he’s sure of everything he’s felt with the feeling of you in his arms. 

With the bruising on your neck, the bleeding wound in your father’s shoulder, he finds it within his breaking body to begin kicking upwards. 

Every limb, every cell, every hint of life in his body shrieked with its efforts to make him stop. There was no air in his lungs and he’d lost track of time in his search for you, he doesn’t know how long he has. 

But if the blots of nothingness in his eyes were anything to go with, he doesn’t presume he has much. In a last ditch effort, he attempts to kick his boots off to weigh him down a little less, holding your dead weight tighter than anything. 

He was so close, he could feel the warmth of the upper levels of the water change in its temperature on his skin. The glow was near blinding as the orange refracted on the disrupted surface of the ocean, so close yet so far. 

Inch by inch, kick by kick, memory by memory, he does everything left in his drained power to touch the surface. 

And he does, breaking out hand first into the burning air of the world above, taking the longest gasp of air he ever has in his life. Once he’s sure he knows where he is, he pushes you up further on his chest, your head resting against his collarbone, still unconscious. 

“Stay with me, princess,” he pants into your ear, hoping you could hear. “I’ve got you.”

Chan and Mingyu are in the water beside him, pushing him towards the pulley that awaited them. 

Mingyu makes an attempt to take your weight of his already struggling captain, but Hoshi finds himself holding on to you tighter, simply urging him to help him back on the deck. 

The minute your head hits the wood of the deck, he’s checking your pulse. There’s no regard for the chaos that ensues around Tigress, both him and his crew too preoccupied with the way you were not breathing. 

“I–I can’t feel anything,” he stutters his words as Seungkwan places a less panicked hand at your neck, under your nose. 

“It’s weak, she’s taken in too much water.”

In an instant, he reaches for his knife at his hip, only to realise it was gone, lost somewhere in his rescue. 

“Knife,” he rasps before repeating louder. “Someone give me a knife!” 

The minute a hilt is in his hands, he’s pushing you over, to reach the back of your constricting corset, pushing his knife into the complicated sailing knot he’d tied it into before, breaking it free. With both hands, he takes hold of the top of the corset and rips it clean in half. 

Turning you back over, he presses his hands over your clothed stomach, pushing into it with all his strength in an attempt to get the water out of your system. He keeps his eyes on your face, and when he sees no sign of you coming round, he feels another set of hands pushing him off. 

Seungkwan takes over for his weakened captain, pushing into your stomach harder, attempting to get a break out of you. 

“Why isn’t she coming around, what’s going on?” He throws the question aimlessly as he takes your unmoving face in his hands, trembling from everything. 

Only a moment later, he hears the glorious sound of you sputtering like something was stuck in your throat, promptly spilling out an ungodly amount of water onto the deck as you retch loudly. 

Sitting up from the force, your hands clamp onto the deck as you cough and heave, Hoshi’s hand coming behind you to thump your back hard, pushing you to throw up any remaining seawater from your body. 

The sight of your back moving up and down, the audible sound of you taking in air; it was enough for Hoshi to simply lay on the deck and pass out. 

You rear your head and look up at him, both of you still breathing heavily. 

“You’re okay,” he assures, gulping. He takes your face in hands cupping it very gently as he speaks to you. “Go with Seungkwan, you’re okay, you’re safe.”

Nodding, you let yourself be helped up by the rest of the crew, watching as you’re led to the lower decks of the ship. 

“Open your shirt, let me see the wound,” Mingyu says, and Hoshi doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Looking down, he sees his shirt soaked in red, sticking to a wound on the right side of his torso. He didn’t even know where he got it. 

It looks like a shallow gash, but enough to leave a scar. He takes it better to have it tended to while he was still high on adrenaline and he couldn’t feel much of the pain. 

By the time Mingyu and Minghao are done cleaning him up and Hoshi’s standing upright with wobbly legs, he finds the two burning ships beyond his own mere floating structures of wood that were in slow flame. There’s too much debris, too many bits of everything that bob in the large expanse of water to make out any bodies. 

“There’s nobody,” Mingyu tells him. “Most of them were in lower decks when it all went down. Trapped themselves.”

“And…?” he asks in silence. 

“He stayed on the deck until it sank,” Minghao informs. “Yelling about how he…about how he should’ve finished her when he had the chance.”

“Horrible king and somehow an even worse father,” Mingyu scoffs. “Made it better to watch him die.”

“He didn’t suffer enough,” Hoshi croaks as the marks on your throat dot his vision. 

Just then, floating in the water, illuminated by the final streaks of setting light, Hoshi sees it. A darkened purple cloth right next to the hull.

“That,” he points out. “Get that out of the water.”

The late king’s purple cape laid on the deck of Tigress, darkened with water, but also with his blood.

To the Kingdom, this cape would be the last piece of their King that was gone too soon. But for every person on this ship, it would forever be their spoils of war.

Hoshi makes sure the cape will be dried and stored, ordering his crew to begin their slow journey out of the Green Islands, before he too crumples onto the deck unconscious. 

IT WAS A SPECTACLE to see Hoshi in his element. 

Something about how he seemed to beam, like this ship was charging him a different kind of energy. It was infectious, the rest of the ship decreasingly sour as they put on musical performances on the main deck while they cleaned the floors. 

As relieved as you felt, the tight ball of anxiety refused to leave the pit of your stomach as you grew closer to the Kingdom. Nothing could prepare you for the shitstorm you’d have to deal with the moment you’d step onto the soil off a pirate ship of all things—let alone as Queen. 

The first few days following the ship's exit from the Green Islands were difficult, if that was all you had to describe it. You took to your hammock for most of the day, curled up as you pretended to sleep, only waking up when one of the crew would come down to force feed you and to make sure you hadn’t died. 

You knew they were doing all this to make you feel better, and somehow it was working. More than halfway through your journey, you began to feel more like yourself, emerging from your cave to visit the deck on times other than the nights. 

Even now, as you sit on the floor of the deck with Seungkwan, who hands you an all too familiar stack of parchment, you feel nothing as you take them into your hands. As you read his handwriting scrawled in ink, you appreciate your past self for having the sense to keep them all. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” he says to you. “Had us worried for a while there.”

“Sorry.” You smile weakly. “But thank you for…everything. I don’t think I could ever express how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. All of you.”

“I’d like to think we’ve gone past the status of mere business partners,” Seungkwan chuckles. “Lion befriends the bear? Whatever it is. But know we’d do it again.”

Blinking back the sting of tears and doing your very best to not let the warm feeling in your chest overwhelm you, you place the letters on the floor next to your folded legs. When you look up, Seungkwan's eyes are on your neck.

“They’re taking their time to fade, aren’t they?” you say. 

Seungkwan has a hard look in his eye, “I guess you didn’t need your letters to remind you of anything after all.”

Your mind wanders, drifting past how easily this crew could have been forgotten in the unforgiving elements. Perhaps you would have let the man that wrapped his hands around your neck finish his job.

“Was getting captured part of your grand plan?” you ask Seungkwan. 

“Hm?” It takes a moment to realise what you may be questioning him about, smiling slightly. “What makes you think we went in with a plan?”

“I thought I asked you to man the wheel?” Hoshi stands above the both of you.

“Not to batten down the hatches,” he side-eyed his captain. “Clear waters ahead, the wheel does not need manning.” 

You zone out as they squabble over nothing, not finding the heart to be entertained by their back and forth. Seungkwan either loses or forfeits, because you feel him rise from next to you, only for his captain to take his place. 

“What are you thinking about?” Hoshi asks. 

“Everything,” you sigh. 

“How come Seungkwan gets a thank you for your service and I don’t? Need I remind you who jumped for you and who didn’t?”

Rolling your eyes, you answer him, “Thank you, Captain Hoshi Kwon, I am forever indebted to your service.”

He chuckles in exaggeration, “Oh please, all in a day's work.”

“I mean it.”

“Hm?”

“I never did say thank you. But you did jump for me when you didn’t have to.”

“Who said I didn’t have to?”

“Our deal was done.”

“Of course not,” he scoffs. “Our deal was to get you out when you jumped. I merely honoured that promise!”

“Merely?” you raise a brow. “Was it all merely a matter of conscience?”

His gaze locks with yours. “Don’t ask questions you know the answers for. I would’ve jumped even if you asked me to rope myself to the mast.”

“Please. I have enough blood on my hands and I haven’t even sat on my throne yet.”

“Blood is only on your hands if you tell a soul of what you’ve done,” Hoshi utters. “You’re the only living soul who knows.”

“And you are…?”

“Pirate. Our word means nothing.” Hoshi smiles. 

The thought hangs in the air as you take in the man in front of you. He’s changed an era’s worth, yet all the same. His hair is longer, going from his initial shorter crop to curling around his ears, shielding his eyes. It makes him look younger, like a boy with much to live for. 

That, and the multitude of notable scars he’s added to his collection, many of which have somehow been because of you. The wound at his torso is doing better, but far to go in its quest to heal. 

Hoshi senses something amiss even after his sermon. Breaking his gaze, he turns to look straight ahead at the raised bow of the ship instead. 

“Do you know how I got my splendid reputation for being the filthiest pirate on the seas?”

You can only stare, “I have a few guesses.”

He chortles, “Other than my criminal status.”

“Tell me.”

“Unnamed sailors have the odds of a peanut facing its inevitable fate of being crushed under a straggling boot. Pirates don’t see the government as their enemy when they’re own supposed brothers are more likely to jam a cannon in their mouths.”

He lets out a heavy sigh before continuing, “My mistake wasn’t that I was on the losing side in my early days, but more about how I was leaving nothing behind when I was done.”

“How humble,” you hum. 

“Dead men tell no tales. When it’s worth it, it might be better to leave a straggler or two to live to tell the tale. A routine stab in the jugular can turn you into somewhat of a myth.”

“Am I a survivor?” you question. 

“You may be sovereign on land, but you’re also an unnamed pirate,” he responds, turning back to lock eyes with you. “And you’ve left nobody to tell the tale.”

No one listens to a pirate, and everyone listens to a Queen. 

“This isn’t to say there won’t be a legend that follows you.” He quirks a brow as he speaks. “Shows up and claims her father and his entire ship and crew sank at sea, only to befriend his sworn enemies in the aftermath. And then it evolves; she sent a cannon through her fathers ship, he died at the end of his own daughter's sword, she cursed him to captain a crew of the undead for eternity.”

“Have I planted the seeds for yet another ghost story?” It’s difficult to not giggle at the thought, despite how morbid. 

“You’ve given yourself substance,” he says, a little stronger than before. His eyes too, wander to your neck and the bruises that refuse to budge. “Beyond just a royal or even a pirate. You did it for your honour as a human being, and that may be braver than anything I have ever conquered.”

In your anxiety ridden, feeble mind, your thoughts had convinced your conscience that everything would be over the minute your father’s heart stopped beating. That it would bring you peace at last. 

And it did, especially when it felt like you’d gotten rid of this constant monster under the bed that had followed you far into adulthood. But from the bleeding heart of the creature emerged yet another one of its brethren, and then another and then another. 

Smaller albeit, but monsters nonetheless. Problems nonetheless. 

Weeks of this, and in one short interaction, Hoshi seemed to have given you the key to turn this monster into a pet. 

On instinct, you feel your hand reach up, brushing against the skin of his cheek. It’s an all too familiar setting, seated on the deck of a ship too close for anybody but yours’ comfort. But without the rum and resentment, of course. And how you doubt he’d pull away this time. 

Very lightly, you brush your lips against his. It was nothing but to simply feel him again, to feel a semblance of familiarity. 

You feel him take your hand that rests on his cheek to place a kiss on your palm, nuzzling his nose into the concave of your hand. 

Everything that was to come seemed a little more possible in that very moment. 

Even more so when his fingers found the sensitive areas of your coloured throat, when his lips closed against your jaw, only to trail lower and to press into the marks his fingers continue to trail tucked into your neck. 

That night, when slipping into your hammock felt like the most unbearable prospect in your near future, it couldn’t possibly be worse than uttering your next question to the man that seems to fix it all.  

“Will you stay with me?”

With nothing but the light snores of the rest of the crew and the creaking of the ship, both you and Soonyoung laid in a hammock most definitely not meant for two. Head on his chest, ear pressed against where his heart beats under his scar, it’s bliss. 

The feeling of his warm body against yours and the scent of him settling in your lungs, you decide that this was enough. At least for now. 

IT WAS DIFFICULT TO give yourself the full list for obvious reasons, but it does seem to help when you tick off all the possible reasons why your patience has run as thin as it has. 

Sitting at the decorated seat at the convened court of old men appointed by your father, you briefly wonder if you should finish them off too amidst your flash of anger. The men continue to squabble and babble about the next course of action, slamming their wrinkled hands on the pristine table and sending their own daggers of threats to the other inhabitants of the table. 

“If you’d like to send a search party for the King’s body, be my guest,” you finally speak, having had quite enough when the throb in your temple worsens. “But remind me what troops you’ll be sending to the North if your best men will be gone for months attempting to find a body they never will.”

The dispute in the North side of the Kingdom was taking up most of the conversation anyway, and you doubt they’d put customary burial rites over their own glory of victory the North would bring. 

“Your Majesty—”

“I would happily jump on the next search ship for my father,” you lie through your teeth. “But I watched him drown in front of my own two eyes, and as the next sovereign I cannot let you waste our resources for something that will both risk our soldier’s lives and have them come back home empty handed.”

Perhaps you had come off slightly more heartless than you intended, so you quickly add, “Please, let my father rest in peace.”

That seems to end the conversation easier than you had expected, but they’re quick to jump to the next issue not long after. 

“The court would also like to bring light upon the palace guests.”

Tightening your jaw, you slump against your seat slightly. “What about them?”

They remain silent as their mouthpiece attempts to form the right words for the following question, mostly because you’ve addressed this multiple times beforehand but they continue to sit restless. 

“Allow me to help you, Lord Bridge,” you sit up straighter, intending to put this matter to rest. “My guests will remain here for as long as they do, and if you have any more arising issues towards my guests I will only take it as your collective issues towards me.” 

In the moment of silence, you continue, “The Kingdom is in a place of instability as we are all well aware. I find it most appalling that you remain fixated on trivial matters of the palace’s domestic code of conduct than you do for the wellbeing of this country!”

Silence yet again as you wait for their forcibly rehearsed chorus of apologies. 

“Our greatest apologies, your Majesty.”

The pain in your temples becomes near unbearable as you dismiss the table after that, screeching your chair as you push it back as loud as you possibly can to do nothing but spite the men. 

Turning the corner out of the room, you catch the open gates that lead to the paved gardens outside, the sun seeping into the marble floors indoors. Taking an instinctive step towards the gardens, you find most of the crew sprawled onto the grass as they soak in the sun. 

Chan and Seungkwan look like they’re wrestling, their laughter ringing throughout the open court while their captain snaps at them to cut it out, only to get roped under one of their headlocks all the same. 

There’s a call of your name and a giant wave from Mingyu, who spots you from beyond the flower beds. Still leaning against the gates, you smile and wave back. 

Years the halls of the palace had gone, never hearing laughter in its walls. And something about watching them let themselves ruin the petunias and laugh so loud it echoes, heals you just a bit. 

Even that night, when you find yourself in your giant four poster bed you’ve slept in since you were a child, this time dozing under the arm of another, you feel the itch of a healing wound somewhere in your heart. 

Soonyoung laid with you for every night on the ship since that night, and stayed even here where the space was big enough to host the ghosts of your worries if not distracted. 

He had found you on that first night in the palace still awake, haunting the library fireplace with another stack of papers to keep you company. 

“Can’t sleep?” he’d asked as he picked up some of your documents. 

“Clearly not,” you huff. The papers were mere decorations as you attempted to find an excuse to leave your rooms. 

“You realise you won’t be much of an effective monarch if you exhaust yourself to death?”  

There was no answer to that, especially when you were absorbing nothing of your new duties. You’d expected to fall asleep on the armrest of the uncomfortable settee whenever it was that you exhausted your brain of thoughts, even then refusing to sleep in that large bed. 

He’s awfully persuasive, because as he tucks you into those very sheets, about to leave but not before placing a kiss on your forehead You stop him. 

“Stay. Please.”

True as he has always been, he does.

THE CROWN IS HEAVIER than you had expected, even more so when it remains on your head for longer than your previously practised sessions walking around the throne room. The crew was exceptionally good at giving you things to train with, including fraudulent rodent scares to ensure the crown would not topple from your own head the minute you rise from your coronation.

And now, as you finally remove the decorative piece from your head after your actual coronation to replace it with something lighter for the following ball, you find relief in the fact that you’d only ever have to wear the actual thing only a few times in your life. 

Everything moves as smoothly as it could, the decorated pirates that saved their Queen from a horrid shipwreck taking up most of the attendees attention as they either question inquisitively or send snarky remarks to the men who are well versed in how to rebut in true informal manner. 

The past months had taken up more of your time than you had anticipated, and during the latter half of the still twinkling party, you attempted to spot the person you’ve been trying to corner all night. 

Soonyoung stands at the edges of the gathering, empty handed as you watch him reject yet another offer for a drink from the trays that float about. His attire is the most formal you had ever seen, his face scrubbed and hair pushed back for the glorious occasion. 

Approaching him from the sidelines, you take hold of his wrists and pull him towards one of the many doors in the ballroom and into a hallway you knew for a fact was rarely ever frequented. 

“I feel I haven’t seen you ages,” you say once you’re sure you’re alone. 

“Probably best for you to keep busy,” he replies with the smallest smile. 

“Have the wrappings on your wound come off?”

Looking at his covered torso, he runs an instinctive hand over where the wound was. “Just a smaller patch now, but it’s nearly there. Disappointed it won’t scar too much.”

“Disappointed?” 

“These are my spoils of war, miss princess,” he adds with a smirk, before correcting himself. “Ah, miss queen?”

“Doesn’t have the same ring,” you comment. 

“The crown suits you.” His voice is soft and sincere.

Scoffing a little, you answer, “I would hope it did.”

“Although, I do prefer you in trousers and a knife.”

Laughing, you can only agree. Especially in your heavier than yourself dress and jewels. “I think I prefer them too.”

At the mention of your new status, he asks, “Shouldn’t you be milling between your new subjects?” 

Keeping your eyes on his face, you wait until he meets your gaze. “I have more important things to attend to.”

He breaks eye contact first, and you can feel the distance grow further. One reach and you could take his hand in yours. 

But you don’t. 

“I know I’ve been quite busy, but…” you trail off as you attempt to find the words. “Is something the matter? What’s going on?”

With a long sigh, he runs a hand through his kept hair, effectively tousling it a little. “I was going to wait until after the ball to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

He makes no moves to look at you when he utters his next words. “The crew and I will be leaving at dawn tomorrow. We’ve taken up enough of your space and it’s best if we don’t intrude any further.”

It’s like you’ve taken a blow to the chest, the air knocked out of your lungs as you register what he’s just said. “You’re….you’re leaving?”

“I would think we’ve both gotten what we wanted. We had a deal.”

Deal? Why was he mentioning that now?

“Are you going to abandon me too?”

His head snaps up to finally meet your eye, mouth opening closing as words betray him. 

“What happened to what you said about gaining you? All of you?” There’s a blatant accusation in your words.

“And you have! We’ll visit. Assuming the state doesn’t want my head on a pike anymore,” he chuckles uncomfortably. 

In a moment of desperation, you take his hand in both of yours; his scarred, gnarled hands that tell you even in the dark who’s warmth it is that you feel every night next to you. 

“Stay. Stay with me, please,” you plead. “I can’t live in this place alone, I despised it when I was young and I’ll only despise it even more now.”

Soonyoung brings his other hand to clasp over both of your own, eyes closing as you hear him take a somewhat shaky breath. “I’m doing this for the both of us.”

“So am I! I can’t possibly rule a kingdom by myself.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone—”

“I don’t want someone! I want you!”

He begins to whisper your name, moving his face away to blink rapidly. 

“How do you feel about becoming a pirate king? I can never forbid you from the waters, that’s your home, and you will have it.”

He does not look at you, but you know he’s listening more intently than ever before.

“But I ask you as someone who loves you more than I have ever anything else, will you stay and marry me?”

Soonyoung falters as he absorbs the fact that you’ve just proposed to him. 

“I—” he stutters. “The court—”

“The court wouldn’t dare to deny me the man that saved my life.”

You squeeze his hand tighter, moving impossibly closer. 

“And even if they do, I'm ready to fight for the man who fought for me. So answer me as a man and not a pirate, Kwon Soonyoung, will you marry me?”

Soonyoungs mouth enclosing over your own is all the answer you need as you feel him break free of your hands to let them find your waist instead. Amidst the pile of fabric he pushes himself into you as close as possible, letting your hands guide his head to move against your mouth. 

It’s everything, as you grip onto the back of his shoulder, pressing unforgettably into his open mouth. He takes in your bottom lip between his own, sucking before letting go, only to engulf your mouth once again. 

“We’ll figure it out,” you whisper against his lips, feeling the nuzzle of his nose against the apple of your cheek, hot tears spilling from your eyes. “I promise, we’ll figure everything out.”

He shushes you when he feels you shudder in his hold, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. “No need to torment your pretty head. Not right now.”

For once, you listen to your pirate captain without a fight, simply feeling the stretch of your lips as he moves down to capture them once more. 

The pressure of his hands isn’t nearly as strong as it would’ve felt without the layers upon layers of fabric that cover your form, but standing in this desolate hallway, you swear his fingers might as well be caressing your bare skin underneath. 

The thought sends your mind into a dazzling spin, letting go of his mouth with a gasp, suddenly needing to take a step back. 

“I have to—I have to go back inside,” you breathe into his slick mouth. “Meet me outside my quarters at midnight.”

As scandalous as it was, you could not deny how alive it made you feel to be like this, meeting in darker corners in the dead of night. But for now, you allow him to fix the bits of your ensemble you could not see. With the bad of his thumb, he blends in the smudges of your rouge, swiping at your lips ever so delicately to ensure he leaves no trace of himself. Tucking the loose strands of hair back behind your ears, and finally, fixing the encrusted crown on your head, a flash of one of the diamond’s gleams reflecting onto his perfect face. 

“You’re beautiful.” There’s a dazed look that graces him. “Beyond beautiful.”

With one last innocent press of your smiling mouth onto his, you promise him your midnight. 

BY THE TIME IT was finally an appropriate hour for you to excuse yourself for the evening, you were near to exploding entirely. 

Whispers of “Are you alright, your Majesty?” plaguing you through your already racing mind. It was beyond difficult to keep the constant shaking of your foot unobvious, however you could not simply up and leave whenever you wanted—at least not yet. The monarch would remain in an unstable authoritative position for quite some time after ascension, and with the unorthodox situation at hand, you assume you’d really have to push yourself if you were to be of any use as sovereign. 

But when the time finally came and you were escorted out of the grand ballroom, only mere ticks away from the resounding bells of midnight, you were holding back from breaking into a sprint. Outside your quarters it was empty, but you remain steadfast in your refusal for your ladies in waiting tonight, promising you could dress yourself for bed on your own. 

Standing at the double doors of your rooms, still the princess’ quarters as you refuse to move into the Queen’s rooms, you stand waiting. The two guards remain staring straight ahead, and you wait for the clicking of your ladies to go muffled before you ask. 

“Has the Captain approached?” 

“No, your Majesty.”

You try not to feel disappointed, despite knowing the midnight bells were yet to sound. “If he does, allow him in, please.” 

Opening the double doors, you half wish you had let your ladies help you out of the god awful dress, tight and loose in all the wrong places. The jewels are thrown haphazardly on your vanity, needing the heavyweight of them off of your body. 

Perhaps months of little to no bedazzling had rendered you incapable of wearing anything mildly less comfortable than linen and leather, but you suppose you’d slip back into the habit just as easily as you slipped out of it. Your nightgown feels like heaven on your tired, tired body, and the dimly lit interior of your bedchamber is only encouraging you to slip under your covers and fall deep into sleep. 

That was one thing about the ship you doubt you’d ever miss. 

Three rapt knocks outside of the heavy double doors have you sitting rapt at attention, hastily making your way to the door from your vanity. Pressing the front of your nightgown down, you open the door slightly and poke your head out. 

Soonyoung stands at the door, nervous of all things, still clad in his full suit. You smile as you let him in, closing the door to turn the lock. 

“Your guards mortify me.” 

“Oh? So they’re doing their job right?” You walk up to him and grasp onto his lapels, pulling him down to meet the lips you’ve missed so much despite only being hours apart. “Why? Has this big bad pirate found his match in the palace guards of all places?”

“Hmm,” he’s humming against your lips. “I could take them both.”

Giggling like you were in love, you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close. 

“I hope you weren’t bothered too much,” you say. “The aristocracy seem to have being a pain in the ass written in their birthrights.”

“I think they were too scared to approach, probably thought I’d start swearing and snatching the pearls right off their necks. Some of them were bearable, asked me how long my sword was.”

It’s difficult to not laugh at that, “Well?”

He raises his brows unceremoniously, “Won’t you like to know?”

Taking the opportunity while you giggled uncontrollably at the situation, he goes back placing never ending kisses to your mouth. Sighing involuntarily, you melt into him once again, infinitely more relaxed than in the hallway. 

Soonyoung’s eyelashes brush against yours in a whisper of their own, only reminding you how close you were to him in the moment. His kisses go from soft and fleeting to something with a little more vigour. The warmth of his mouth goes back to overtaking the lower half of your face, sucking and licking into your mouth like his life depended on it. 

If your mind was reeling when his hands were merely ghosts of pressure over your heavy dress, the feeling of his palms and fingers so distinct over your nightgown, the only thing separating you two, is enough to have your knees begin to buckle. 

From your waist, they move to your back, before caressing back to the sides of your waist, thumb running in circles. Gentle handfuls of your flesh, bunching and letting go of the material of your nightgown. Very soon, his mouth leaves yours and instead moves to your jaw, the air in the room letting you feel the wetness that he leaves behind as a passionate trail.

He soon reaches the junction of your jaw and neck, leaving a particularly long suck in the area that has a gasp leaving your mouth. Remaining in that area, you feel the pleasant graze of his tongue on your skin, only making you tilt your head farther out to let him carry out his loving. 

Your mind wanders back to the hands that grope you in ways that would defame you, the unseemly palms that have you needing to feel him all the same.

With grazing hands, you slip your fingers underneath his jacket, pushing it off one shoulder. He understands the message, flicking it off of his frame before loosening his cravat and throwing it somewhere behind him. 

Unlatching from your neck, he comes round to face you to find your face the epitome of disconnected and dazed. 

“Can you wait for me on the bed, my love?”

“But—” The thought of him being even an inch away was most aggravating, but he cuts you off before you can refute. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Soonyoung rests his forehead against your own, taking your hands in his. “I’m right here. I just need to take this awful suit off.”

Your face must have been peculiar because he’s immediately jumping, panicked. “Uh—do you not want me to, we don’t have to, I just thought—”

“No!” you yelp, wide eyed. “I, um, I’ll wait. On the bed, I mean.”

He lets you walk over to the giant four poster bed, pushing the flow of your gown down when you realise how high it had ridden, cheeks burning scarlet at the thought of exposing so much. 

Hearing ruffles from behind you, you cannot bring yourself to look back at him, already extremely lightheaded and afraid that the sight might make you faint altogether. 

Perhaps you were experiencing a delayed case of sea legs, because it’s more difficult than usual to make yourself comfortable on the soft beddings. You make a futile attempt at slowing your breathing. 

By the time Soonyoung is done, meeting you in the middle, you keep your eyes on his face as he’s immediately climbing over to kiss you softly. Hand on the back of your head, he guides you to lay flat, adjacent to the headboard so you’re laying on the breadth of the bed. 

He handles you like you were made of glass, and it only makes the strange ache between your legs increasingly present and uncomfortable. 

Noting a cool feeling on the base of your throat, you open your eyes and catch the leather cord that dangles from his neck, the letter opener charm that’s attached to the end of it connecting you two as your lips part. Just beyond, through the dip of his collarbones and the valley to his chest, you catch the scar  that curls above his heart. Even lower, you find the smaller wrappings of his scarring wound. 

You trace over the edges of the new addition, shaking hands as you try your best to not brush over the wound. 

On the other side, Soonyoung has his hands on shin as his body hovers over you between your legs. Curling around, he caresses the skin of your bare calf, drifting to the back of your knees. He takes the opportunity to lift your leg, urging you to wrap it around his waist. 

The action has gravity doing what it does best, the hem of your nightgown dropping to bunch over the junction of your leg, your entire thigh exposed for the air. 

Soonyoung takes no time to let his hands wander higher, taking light handfuls of the flesh of thighs, dragging his grip further and further up. 

“Nearly tipped the ship over when I saw you in those fucking trousers,” he says, eyes closed as he drags his mouth over the inner part of your thigh. 

The sound that leaves your mouth is breathy, mind preoccupied with how quickly he was making his way towards the apex of your thighs. He’s using his mouth like he used it on your own lips, nipping at the flesh before biting down hard. 

“Soonyoung!” 

Tongue running over the patch, he sucks on the area to sooth the bite. It’s taking everything out of you to not twitch uncontrollably in his hold, the heat in your core reaching temperatures you’ve never experienced. 

Unlatching himself from your thigh, Soonyoung rears his head slightly. The sight has your head rolling back, mind drifting to the face of the man who’d visited you in your dreams, the same man that had now made home between your legs. 

Before you realise it, the bunched hem of your nightgown is flown upwards entirely, fluttering as the fabric lands on your stomach. 

Your heat is bare underneath, evident with the way Soonyoung keeps his eyes on the now fully exposed part of you. Your chest continues to rise and fall as you lift your head to look at him, eyes half closed and mind muddled.

“What…What’re you doing?” 

Soonyoung looks like you’ve disturbed him from a trance, snapping up to look at you as you ask him your question. 

It hardly registers in his mind. What was he doing? Was it not obvious—

Ah. 

If the mere sight of your bare thighs weren’t enough for him to release his load onto the sheets untouched, your unawareness might just end up doing it for him. 

Of course you didn’t know why he was at eye level with your cunt; women from this world were not supposed to know. 

The buzz in his mind renders him useless for a few moments as his vision blurs, the pain in his lower region unbearable. The thought of him being the first person to do this to you, to pleasure you like this; he wasn’t sure if he’d make it till the end of the night alive. 

Screwing his eyes shut, his palms full of your thighs, he drops his head and counts to ten. 

“Will you let me show you how a Queen is meant to be worshipped?” 

Wet mouthed and unhinged eyes, your arousal was doing nothing but multiplying at the sight of him. 

“Do you trust me?” he asks. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.” 

It takes you less than a moment to nod your head, eyes locked with his. 

Bringing a hand closer, he dips one finger into the beginnings of your hole. Bringing some of the glisten onto his fingers. Your lips are parted and he brings a second finger to gather your arousal, rubbing over your entrance ever so slowly. 

The motion makes you let out a heavy exhale, gripping onto the bunched fabric at your stomach till your knuckles turn white. 

With little warning, you feel his fingertips push and drag upwards, right over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Immediately, he’s rubbing your arousal all over the area, rubbing your clit in rhythmic circles with both fingers. 

You can’t stop it when you throw your head back and let out a slight whimper, relishing in the feeling that overtakes every last sense and capability, anticipating the next surge of pleasure that courses through your entire body like you've been struck by a bolt of something.

Vision obscured, you loll your head to the side when you feel his fingers retract, confused. 

All you catch is the outstretched nature of his tongue, and how it lands directly where his fingers were. 

You let out the loudest moan yet, back arching off the bed as he licks a forceful drag up your cunt before moving back down your clit, circling your hole with the tip of his tongue, right before repeating. He flicks your nub right where he’s found you twitch the most, back and forth as your hips begin to fail at your suppressed stutters, his hands needing to pin you down onto the sheets to continue. 

He becomes more generous, laying his tongue flat now as he massages your nub so good. Your thighs are closing around his ears and he does nothing to stop you, nearly suffocating between them. Hips going from their stutters to a grind, you find your hands flying to his hair, grip tighter than you thought you’d come down with. It doesn’t help that he’s now taken a finger to circle your entrance while his lips suck on your clit. 

“Soonyoung.” It’s all you can say, throat incapable of forcing anything but his name, the burn behind your eyes only making it harder to not say it louder. 

When he pushes the finger in, it has you letting out a moan, the foreign feeling against your walls only forcing them to clamp onto his digit. Gradually, you feel his pace quicken as he slides his finger in and out of your hole, his mouth still doing beautiful things to your cunt. 

It doesn’t take long for him to shove in another finger, stretching your hole as you let out a constant string of noises through the pleasure, ever-building as every passing moment only scrambles your brain further. 

And then you feel him groan, a vibration throbbing through your system. 

It’s suddenly all too much, and before you can tell him what’s going on, you’re rendered incapable. You don’t know where your limbs fly, but all you feel is white hot and overwhelming to an unbelievable degree. 

“Oh–ungh—” Your body is telling Soonyoung all he needs to know as he only pushes into your pussy even further, letting you ride out your high as you claw at him in every way possible. 

Inevitably, the feeling subsides and you realise you’ve been reduced to sobs, tears streaking the sides of your face. Laying flat with your head still on the sheets, you stare at the ceiling of your four poster, trying to remember where you were. 

Barely noticing the man that now hover above you, you hear him whisper. “Are you alright?”

Nodding weakly, you don’t even try to lift a finger in the remaining aftermath. 

“I need words, my love.”

Swallowing thickly, you give him a breathy, “Yes.”

The lower half of his face glistens in the light like unorthodox diamonds, and all you can think about is how you need him closer to you. 

You make an attempt with your nightgown, your trembling arms, still coursing with the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

Soonyoung decides to help, hands pushing your spine into an arch as he pulls the slip up and over your head, now entirely bare in front of him. 

You watch as instead of throwing the fabric away, he brings it to his mouth to wipe the slick off, tainting the gown with your essence. 

Mouth over yours in a salty kiss, you pull him into you as close as humanly possible, needing to feel his heat, his weight, his scent as close as possible. His mouth reaches your throat again, lips brushing over the expanse as he places open mouthed kisses over the nearly faded marks. 

His hands are lingering once again as they ghost the sides of your breasts, thumbs coming close to your nipples before retracting in a caress. He takes them in handfuls as he goes back to busy your lips with his own, massaging the mounds with a pressure just enough to have you reeling. 

Flicking your nipple lightly, he goes back to circle the bud with thumb again. Making himself further familiar, his fingers begin to pinch and pull at them, pressing down to get a noise out of you, one that you sound as you breathe into his mouth. 

Trailing over your stomach, he pushes himself off of you. On his knees, he takes the distance as his chance to look at you in your entirety for the first time. Your fucked out expression and your lack of words is doing nothing but fueling him, your loud breaths somehow more sinful than anything he could ever do to you. 

In one swift motion, he’s slipping his arms beneath you, pulling you up so he can lay you against the headboards and pillows. You barely register what’s happening, having given yourself up to him long before. 

Grabbing one of the millions of cushions on the bed, he swings one over. Using no strength of your own, he lifts your hips and places it down beneath you, effectively propping you up. 

And then he’s meeting you at eye level, hands cupping your face. “I need you to listen to me, darling.”

He waits for confirmation, of which you can only nod, still seeing mild stars. “Do you want to stop?” 

It's a visceral reaction; the violent shaking of your head, the hand that flies to his bicep. “N–no!”

You pause as he grips onto your upper arms tight, right as you continue. “I just—a moment. Don’t stop, please.”

Leaning down, he places a long kiss on the corner of your mouth before moving his head to fit into the crook of your neck. He nuzzles his nose against the skin below your ear. 

“I’m right here,” he whispers. “For as long as you want me.”

His kisses go from desperate to something with a little more intent, pressing his lips into your neck consistently. Oh so gently, it begins to feel like a draught. He turns into calm just as he could become chaos, bringing you down from the after effects of his own actions. 

The hum that leaves you is unthinking, fingers remaining deep in the roots of his hair. Your own nose is pressed against his hair, his scent mixed with sweat infiltrating your nostrils. It fills your head with a pleasant buzz, one that you feel force a pull at the corners of your mouth. 

“I meant it when I said it,” you murmur into his hair. “I don’t want anyone but you.”

Raising his head, he meets your eye, smiling slightly. “I believe you. Forgive me for making you believe I was trying to leave you.”

“You weren’t?” 

He presses his lips into a line, exhaling as he drops his chin to his chest. “I’ve needed to be selfish my whole life just to survive. Leaving…I wasn’t sure how I would’ve gotten on that boat in the morning without taking you with me somehow.”

Moving back to look at you, you realise very quickly there’s more to the mere glassy look in his eye. “For once, I wished to be anything but a pirate, to be anywhere but near the sea. Not when you wouldn’t be there with me.” 

Taking one of his beautifully decorated hands to your mouth, you kiss the soft of his palm. “You’ve done more than anyone ever has to protect me.” 

You laugh against his hand, “This is my turf, captain. Let me protect you… protect us.”

Something injects you with a dose of bold, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around his raised shoulders. “But…I believe we were in the middle of something. I’d hate to ruin the mood.”

The smirk that graces his lips is immediate, pushing you back down onto the sheets as you let a laugh escape you. 

And then you feel something warm graze your bottom lip, pointed in the way it pushes inwards. He’s brought the glinting letter opener charm up to your lips, the trinket pinched between his fingers as he continues to keep it on your mouth. He kisses you deep as the metal remains between you two, your hands run across the expanse of his back, feeling the muscles ripple as he props himself between you. 

“I love you,” he cuts between the kiss to groan, the charm dropping from between your mouths to your chest. 

“I love you, mmh—” His fingers have found your clit mid confession, rubbing quickly as he attempts to get you all hot and withered again. 

Your legs raise on instinct, back arching as he rubs you mercilessly, the pressure building quicker than it had before. 

“I–I think—” you start to tell him, and it seems it’s all he needs to remove his fingers entirely. 

“Soonyoung!” you yelp, landing on the bed with a thud. 

Looking down, you find his hands wrapped around the length between his own legs, and you realise this was your first time seeing it. Past the white-oozing slit, his tip is a painful looking red. If his hands weren’t already pumping and he hadn’t already lined himself up to your hole, you would’ve taken him into your own palms, done exactly with your mouth that he’d done with his own. 

But you can’t find it within yourself to stop him when you feel the initial push of his bulbous tip against your hole, the stretch causing you to drop your mouth open. 

“Fuck,” you hear him curse, and when you look up you find his own eyes screwed shut. His hands grip the plush of the pillow beside your head as tight as ever, face askew like he was holding himself back from combusting entirely. 

Slowly, you feel the stretch turn into something akin to a burn, a sting in the back of your eyes. You let him push himself into you at his own pace, the never ending battle between your mind and your refrained hips ever present as you attempt to keep them at bay. 

He keeps his pelvis flush against yours ince he’s sheathed himself inside you entirely. BOth of your pants fill the thick air of the room, the throb of your walls around his shaft leaving a tremble in his forearm despite your forsake. 

Hand somewhere above your head, you feel Soonyoung pull out ever so slightly before pushing back in. Just like this, in shallow thrusts, he pumps himself in an out of your walls in a slow pattern. 

It begins with a simmering tremble of pleasure that prolongs as he drags his cock in and out, and then in and out, and then—

Your eyes fly open when you feel his hips slam against yours with a resounding sound, fingers gripping his arm as he does it again, your moans penetrating the air. Before you know it, he’s hiked your legs up to wrap around his waist, ankles locking as he goes back to snapping his hips into you. 

“Oh, Soonyoung.”

Your nails are digging into his bicep like it was the only thing tying you to this earth, the only thing keeping you from passing out entirely. He’s taken up a brutal pace, pistoning into your clamped walls with a vigour unmatched. 

All Soonyoung can hear is the stretch of your moans and groans directly in his ear, the obscene squelch of both of your fluids mixing at your middles. Your hands have migrated to his back, clawing at the skin like you’ve been utterly possessed. 

He can’t seem to mind, not when they’ll simply become reopening wounds every time he’ll have you like this, all to himself and no one else. He wonders vaguely if your guards outside can hear the way you’re losing yourself in him just as he is in you, wonders if it appalls them that a filthy pirate gets to have their Queen in his arms as her vindictive pleasure. 

One hand rubbing over your slick clit, he pulls back to sit on his heels, the angle allowing him to keep ever part of you occupied, his spare hand coming up to toy with the pillow of your breast. 

It’s all too much, for the both of you as your collective noises become increasingly frequent and high pitched.

And then he’s pushed you over the edge, the shake of your thighs electrifying as you nearly scream out in the bliss of your high. Hands moving every which way to find a grip as you let the feeling crash into you over and over again. 

“Oh, that’s so good, so good, oh my goodness.”

You’re still in the middle of your climax when Soonyoung can’t take it anymore, letting himself release his load inside of you like a mark. It’s a mess of force and pleasure as the both of you lose sight of your strengths and weaknesses, the feeling of his hot cum shooting into your walls only prolonging your orgasm even further. 

He continues to thrust, continues to play with your nub, continues to flick at your nipples despite the orgasm subsiding. It’s all suddenly too much all at once, the sharp jerk of your body and your voice asking him to stop. 

“Soon—Soonyoung, it’s too much.”

Hands coming to a halt and his thrusts slowing, you feel him ease himself out of you. 

It’s a sight Soonyoung doubts he could ever forget even if he tried, your still pulsating walls doing everything but keeping the milky white of his load inside you, globs of the liquid spilling out as you shudder near lifeless on the bed. His hands grope at the inside of your thighs, pulling your lips apart to take in the mess he’s made. 

He can’t help himself when he pushes two fingers into your hole, feeding his cum back into your hole right where it belongs. 

You’ve only barely started to come round when he meets you at eye level, plopping next to you on the bed. 

“Hi,” he grins. 

“Hi,” you breathe back, hands coming up to touch his face. 

He lets you breathe for a few moments as he finds himself getting off the bed to find your tainted nightgown, moving back to you to spread your legs and wipe you clean as best as he could. 

You find it within yourself to allow him to pull you into a sitting position, a cup of water from the nightstand pressing against your tired mouth. 

“Come on, just one,” he urges as you slump against his chest. 

You take a few sips as he coaxes you into drinking the full cup and half of the second helping. 

He gives up as he holds you against his chest, brushing his fingers through your tangled hair to push past your face. 

“Are you alright?” he asks you. Your eyes are closed when he leans down to place a peck on the apple of your cheek. 

“Mhm,” you muffle. “Want to sleep.

“I’d let you, but…”

“Soonyoung, I can’t go again,” you whine. 

He chuckles, “I meant to ask where we could find some sugar around here. You barely ate anything at the ball.”

“The kitchens?” you answer with a floating question mark. 

Soonyoung can’t help it when he squeezes you so tight it has you complaining loudly, not being able to sustain the love just in the tiny expanse of his heart. 

“Come on, let’s get you some cake before both our hearts give out.”

BUNDLED UP IN WARMER clothes, the only thing the palace walls hear is the tiny whispers and giggles of you and your lover as you make your way to the kitchens. 

It’s empty at this time of night, the dying embers of the fireplace the only source of light. Soonyoung uses every last bit of his thievery to manage to find a basket of dough balls, the syrup more readily available at the table in the centre.

The tingling in your brain can’t seem to decipher the overwhelming happiness that floods you from the ends of your hair to the tips of your toes. Especially when you call out his name amidst his shuffling, your heart can’t take the grin on his face as he hurries to join on the floor in front of the fireplace. 

Arm looped through his own and your head on his shoulder, you decide you’d be quite okay dying like this. 

The dough balls are cold and the syrup is probably a little too sweet, but you can’t possibly complain when it warms you just the same. 

“I’ve despised my name my entire life,” Soonyoung starts in the silence, picking at the insides of his treat. “Some old merchant sailor was giving his ship away in exchange that the taker would take care of it. He’d built his Tigress from the first board to the last sail, but the years had made their mark. It was practically falling apart when I took it off his hands.”

He pushes the remaining bit of the pastry into his mouth, muffled as he continues, “He had a strange name, said it was given to him by his crew when they realised he was born without a name. Hoshi. I liked it well enough so I kept it.”

“Soonyoung—”

“That one. I wanted to replace the name I loathed, the one my own mother gave me.” You watch as his throat bobs as he swallows. “Ash is my birthplace, my mother worked in the brothels where I was born only because she couldn’t get rid of me.”

Taking one of the hands that wrap around his arm, he brings your fingers to your mouth, kissing the tips of each one. “I despised that name, until I heard it from your lips.” 

“Soonyoung.” It felt right on your tongue, like you were destined to say his name. 

“Yes, my love?” He smiles softly. 

“I love you.”

“I love you more,” he says as he kisses you again. “Thank you for keeping my name, thank you for giving it life.”

You take the opportunity to grab one of the syrup soaked dough balls from the basket and stuff them into his mouth. “Enough, don’t tell me all this luxury’s made you soft.” 

It was a jab but a lighthearted one in any case, you loved to see this side of him and you doubt you would ever get enough of seeing him like this. Vulnerable with his softer smiles and squinted eyes. 

Bringing one of your digits to your mouth, you suck the remaining syrup off your fingers. 

Soonyoung is quick to take notice as he takes your hand and brings your fingers up to his mouth, running his tongue over the pads of your fingers to take in the remaining sugar left on your fingers. 

He keeps his eyes locked onto yours as he sucks on the tips of your fingers, making sure every last hint of sweetness is gone. 

And then he’s kissing you, tongue in your mouth as he moves against your lips slowly. 

Breaking apart, you whisper, “As much as I’d love to, the bakers will be coming in any minute now.”

Soonyoung’s grin is dangerous, and you find out why the minute you feel his arms loop around your waist and under your thighs, lifting you clean off the floor of the kitchens. 

You squeal before you can help it, his lips finding home in your neck as you laugh as loud as your chest would allow. 

You could get used to this. And you will. 

THE SERVANTS CARRYING THE giant stack of plates nearly topple over when you sprint past them, yelling a loud apology over your shoulder as you do nothing but hasten your pace. 

The paper in your hands is clutched tight in your fists as you run to where your carriage awaits, near yelling at the driver to make it to the docks before the streets would be full of the early morning merchants and bakers, slowing the gallops of the decorated horses. 

The town is waking as your carriage races past, the beginnings of the new day making itself known as the sun peers through the gaps of the houses. You’re incapable of sitting still, your heels tapping against the floors of your cabin incessantly as the docks grow nearer and nearer. 

And then you see it, the rush of dock handlers that see the royal carriage slow to a stop in front of the boardwalk. You slam the door open before any of the tens could do it for you, breaking into a sprint as you find the distinct flag of the royal crest wave high on the other end of the docks. 

You had already seen Soonyoung off in the dark of the night as he made his way to the ship that was near ready to depart as you slide to stop in front of the anchored ship. 

There was nothing sane about what you were doing, the chortles and shocked noises of sailors and merchants deaf to ears as you finally spot him near the prow. 

His eyes meet yours and he has to do a double take. 

Panting and needing to hold onto your knees for support, you peer up as you watch him run towards the ramp that leads down to the docks to see you, to ask why you were here when he’d kissed you goodbye mere hours ago. 

By the time he meets you at the wobbly boardwalk, you’ve somewhat recovered.

“Are you alright?” he asks you as soon as you’re within earshot, hands grasping onto your upper arms in evident concern. 

“I had to tell you, this came in right after you left.” You brandish the paper clutched into your fist, smoothing it over as the light catches the red stamp at the bottom. 

It takes him less than a minute to realise what it said, eyes blinking rapidly and mouth gaping like a fish. “They…They said yes?” 

“They said yes,” you repeat, nodding furiously as you break into a smile. “We can get married, Soonyoung, they said yes.”

His arms are crushing you before you know it, wrapped around you so tight as he buries his face into your neck, repeating it like a mantra, “They said yes…”

By the time you part, he keeps his arms around you, still embracing you in front of the entire port. You take hold of his face bringing it closer to you. 

“Three months, and then you come home,” you breathe. “And I get to marry you, in front of everyone.”

Soonyoung lets his lips meet your own in a chaste kiss as he corrects you, “I get to marry you in front of everyone.” 

There’s a thud of something nearby, and you look up to find the crew of the Tigress hanging over the railings of the newly appointed naval ship that looked suspiciously like a pirate’s. 

“He can’t come back home, if he doesn’t leave!” Seungkwan yells over cupped hands. 

You’d like to send him an affectionate gesture involving your middle finger, but choose to save him in front of the crowded port. 

“You’ll miss me, Seungkwan, just you wait,” you send him a pointed glare that he simply scoffs at. 

He might miss you, but you’ll definitely miss the lot of them when you return to a significantly emptier palace. 

“Don’t let the royal snobs walk over you, you’re a better sailor anyway,” you tell Soonyoung. “Not that I needed to tell you, anyway.”

“I promise on our future wedding to be a complete menace.” He grins at the declaration as you admire him in the morning light. 

One last time, you memorise the dips and hills of his features, pressing your final kiss into his lips as the voices telling him to hurry it up grow louder. 

He blows you a kiss from the railings as the anchor is hoisted, and you send him one right back. 

As your carriage trudges its path back to the palace, at a pace more acceptable for both the stamina of the horses and the integrity of the structure, your eyes remain glued to the shrinking ship that fades into the distant horizon. 

There’s a pang in your chest, one that brings a tear to your eyes. It’s all very dramatic, the way the melancholy makes a home in your heart. An inkling tells you how you’ll probably become quite used to the feeling, learn to greet it like a friend. 

For now you enter the lighter palace, and take your place on the chair in your study and find solace in the ideas your mind brings. 

That no matter how long Soonyoung will remain far from you, he will always come back home to you. 

Always. 

[AN]: ty for joining my babies on their journey, i cannot thank you all enough for reading all 48fuckingK words of this i love you guys truly!!! thank you for all the reblogs and comments on the other parts, it makes me genuinely so happy to see you guys enjoy this universe that i've built. I read every single comment and know i appreciate all of it so so much <3

[5a-alf]

I have been obsessing over this perfect court!AU and have literally like one irl friend to talk about it with. So.

The thing about Riko is that he never ever ever could have been anything different. He has at least one but probably two personality disorders (narcisism and antisocial i'd argue), which are the result of the abuse he endured. From a young age he was only an object, a spare, or the embodiment of an idea.

Others are redeemable because they are people, but he never really was a person in his own right. So he got worse and worse and worse, and we all know what he did.

I wanted a story where he could have something different, for i feel there is no universe in which he ends in a different way: everything he has is a childish dream, and that would have failed at some point anyway. And with failure comes death. I think his brother would have killed him even without the whole clusterfuck of the last game, just because without Kengo the main line was now only one adult and the 'branch' one was 2, which is one too many. Between Riko and Testuji, killing Riko made the most sense because Testuji had no interest in power, he just liked his dolls; also he was already an expert at his job, while Riko would have to learn/train to fill that role. And obviously age is also a factor, Riko is young, Testuji is middle-aged: for ichirou, a young man, the second is less threatening.

I could go on for hours guys im not even joking

For him to have a different future, he is not even the only thing that needs to change. If he was a good person, he'd have been dead earlier. If he was an okay person too. Maybe as morally gray he'd have the same exact life with a little less enemies.

What needs to change with him is the people he has around, his safety net. He has zero people on his side in canon (And he shouldn't have them, mind, he's horrid. But still, out of every bad person in aftg he is the only one who no one loves), he only has followers and pawns. So for an AU to work, he would need to change in a way that would affect the people he surrounds himself with enough to once again reach the show down with Ichirou and "win" against Testuji.

To do that, i think he needs Neil on his side. Kevin is great dont get me wrong, but he doesnt get it the way neil does. Neil gets the mafia, its way of thinking, its deals and the way power moves. Neil know how to be vicious and how to read people and how to push just enough.

To have a 'good' relationship with neil something needs to go differently during the selling, so that his mom doesnt run away with him. But he'd also need to have a good relationship with kevin first. For him to have a different relationship woth kevin i dont think he'd necessarily need to be better morally, he'd just need to be a better manipulator. In canon he controls people with fear/violence/money, but the best way to control people is actually through love/favors. To train a dog, you better give it treats than beat it. I think this way they would end up with a better relationship but also, the better relationship would in turn make him a better person, and the two things would continue to feed each other.

Neil comes in now. He is 10, Riko and Kevin are 12. The thing with Neil (aside from all i've already said) is that Riko would quite literally own him at this point, the same way he then owns Jean. The main difference between the two situations i think would be 1) their personalities 2) their age. At 16 (Jean 14) Riko is already off the deep end. Waay too deep. But at 12? Different story.

For the first point, mostly i'd say that Neil grew up in an abusive household like jean did, but he knew his father as the butcher, as a mafioso, and he was taught how to use knives ecc as a kid. He knew the drill, he knew the life. Jean was completely uprooted, brought into a different country, told to play a game i dont think he knew anything about. Much more jarring. Neil already loved Exy, he wanted to play it all the time; the sport itself would be a good motivator for good behaviour. Jean was just angry angry angry (fair.) and alone in a different country. So. Not the same. I think Raven!Neil would be the one person on the team not afraid to tell Riko off, but also not afraid of his violence (much more restricted in this au guys), and riko is also not scared of Neil's violence (a bit more than in canon, he grew at castle evermore; he is nathaniel) so they find solace in each other. He'd know when to listen and when to mouth off [Riko saying "nathaniel" vs "neil" and things like that]

Second point is their age, because at 12 riko is more susceptible to change than he is at 16, so building a rapport with neil would prove more beneficial, for all i've said in point one.

Jean would be a harder case. Bringing him to heel is much more complicated, because riko doesnt have anything to leverage against him nor offer him, the guy has nothing to lose anymore and now is not enough of a person to desire anything (well. Anything obtainable. He'd like to be free for sure). I think again a lot of the work would be done by neil (and kevin too obv, but neil mostly, as his partner) because they are the same age, play the same role, are partners. Neil would be a centainty. And this better riko wouldnt be violent to destroy his spirit, he'd be "forgiving" (when useful) and bandage his wounds when the Master beats him, and be generally kind to a kid who is so starved for kindness he'd kill himself to at least get the touch of death. That + group mentality and i think jean would be on board too.

Andrew also factors in all of this, but i'll go on later this has gotten SO LONG and i wont even reread it gosh i hope it makes sense.

Basically this whole thing ends up in: take the insanity that is andreil as a couple but that somehow is the sanest couple out there but extend it to the perfect court 5.

[aspiffygoat]

how would you recommend starting a NSFW account? like, protecting email and privacy and stuff. i’m worried about Big Data, idk

There's A LOT of ground to cover here, so bear with me: I am writing this under the assumption you are an artist who wants to draw gay kink stuff, and you wish to protect this identity from your irl peers and maybe employers. The FIRST major thing to handle is your accounts. Signing up for services require you to give information about yourself, which is something that could easily be leaked #1) have a separate email for your NSFW stuff. all accounts for your NSFW life will use this email. I recommend using Proton Mail or Tuta. (Warning: the free version of proton mail and tuta will auto delete accounts that have remained inactive for more than 6 months) #2) Being an artist on the internet means having 10 billion social media accounts. DO NOT give them all the same password. Ever. Get a password manager. They will generate strong passwords for you, all of which are unique. I recommend Bitwarden, KeepassXC, or Protonpass. #3) Any accounts that handle finances (paypal patreon etc) should be under your irl email. Your government ID and bank will be linked to those. Also taxes. #4) Do not provide your phone number for your nsfw accounts. This will provide a link between your nsfw life and your personal life. Discord and Twitch force you to provide a phone number. Either make a new email, or link your non nsfw email to them. You could spoof a phone number but that comes with risks. Your call. #5) If you can, set up 2 Factor Authentication with your emails. This will also help you log in to them more often, keeping them active. Now that your accounts are secured and compartmentalized the next thing to do is BE MINDFUL WHEN TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF. You dont need to be too mysterious and aloof just don't get too careless when sharing your life with others. maybe strangers dont need to know you have a brother, or where you normally shop. what's left now are dealing with websites tracking your browsing habits. This post is too long so a very quick and easy set up is: -Switch to a privacy respecting browser. I recommend Firefox. -Avoid installing browser extensions. -Except for Ublock Origin. It will block so many ads, trackers, and malware. -Pick a privacy respecting search engine. Duckduck go is a popular choice Theres still a shitload more you can do but this will put you so far ahead of everyone else, without requiring you to spend money, and its not too difficult to set up. anyway i wrote all of this for you so pls be nice to me

[libras-interactives]

☆Seeking Beta Readers☆

For those who have the interest and spare time, I'd like a second set of eyes for what I've got for Ch3, and variable-hunters for Ch 1+2!

What I'd Like Help With

1) A beta reader for UTDM Ch3's rough draft - I'd love a second set of eyes and opinions, and I'd like to have the variations, dialogue and scenes set in stone before coding them.

2) Adding variations in UTDM's Ch1 and Ch2. I don't mean entire paragraphs for a single variable, but moreso mentions and references.

I will be using discord DMs to communicate w/ beta readers. No tumblr DMs or tumblr asks.

This is low pressure and not serious. I totally understand if IRL comes up (lord knows its been kicking my butt for months). Please tell me if you're busy and/or no longer interested. And don't worry, I am NOT dumping thousands of words on you at once nor expecting fancy professional editing! It's just a second set of eyes to suggest things and notice glaring errors because I'm often too deep in the weeds to see them.

Suggestions for Existing Variations

I'm also taking suggestions from readers for the tons of variations in UtDM, within reason. I may not include it and I am NOT adding new variables to character creation. You can send this through tumblr asks or tumblr dms. Please do not spam me.

Examples: Taking off glasses before bed, more chronic pain mentions, more references to one's culture, a long tail getting in the way, and so on.

Bad Example: A variation that's only for Distiller + Has a Son + Femme Clothing + White Furred + Chronic Pain. Too specific, too difficult to code.

Basically, if there was a time where you thought 'Oh, I thought X would've come up here?', you can suggest it. There are MANY options in UtDM's character creator and I don't catch all of them.

What About Last Spring Beta Reading ??

Unlike Devils Moon, I dont write Last Spring 100% linearly. I'm open to a single beta reader for Last Spring, but some scenes will be out order or unavailable. I'm currently looking to cut down a lot of Arryn's intro, fixing up Mormont's, and polishing Staedmon's. Beesbury is finished, Sarus and Harlaw need work.

Bug fixing is not necessary yet, and I won't be accepting new Character Creation options for Last Spring.

[starberriedreams]

ALL MY LITTLES AND SMOL ONES PLEASE MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!!✨🩷

so I just wanna give some tips on how to be safe on the internet specifically for both minors and adults🍓✨ I will give some red flags that you need to remember in case you bump into it one day.

Like many others have said When you openly talk about looking for a caregiver - you might become a target of someone that does not have your best interest in mind.🍋✨

1- Never give someone your address or a picture of the outside of your home✨🍊

2- Never send someone explicit pictures of yourself (even if they are the same gender as you because I know it’s normalized) - this includes Bathing suit pics - anything where you wouldn’t be comfortable showing a stranger✨🥑

3- if you’re talking to someone online and they refuse to FaceTime and show there face or voice even after they have seen you 🚩(this is a big red flag that someone you think you are talking to is probably not this person)

4- They are manipulative (they try and fish for information) - where does you mom work? Where is your college ? Where are you from?

5- They ask For MONEY 🚩(yall please do not give your hard earned money to a stranger)

6- they ask to meet up 🚩(PLEASE DONT DO THIS) You never know who you are talking to on the other line

7- They are overstepping your boundaries after you clearly set them (this goes for anybody irl or not ) if they don’t respect your boundaries they don’t respect you🚩

8- Please please please get to know someone throughly first before letting them become your caregiver. You are trusting them with a small hurt child if you do not truly believe they are trustworthy then they are not. Period. ✨

My loves please be careful with talking to strangers on the internet minors or not you are so special and there are bad people out there that will take advantage of that your regression is special and sacred it’s your healing process. Please be safe🩷✨

Credit to @souls-sys-help for the lovely banner!🩷

[atlas7seo]

Arcane Season 2 spoilers kinda

Hot take - I've seen a couple people talking about how they don't feel bad for Piltover or can't feel bad for Caitlyn for what's happening in season 2 because they're is privileged. And like I totally get their point. The undercity has been screwed over time after time and Piltover is deliberately oppressing them. But like also I find it interesting how that take is also playing into the themes of the show. Caitlyn is very privileged, that is something made very clear in season 1 and the whole point was her seeing how privileged she was. Just because she has privileged struggles doesn't mean they're not also struggles? Like do yall get my gist. People are comparing how Zaun doesn't have a choice, but Caitlyn and Piltover do. How Jinx is more excusable than Caitlyn. And likeeeee that's not the point of the show? I mean that comparing who is more in the right for terrible actions isn't the point not the privileged and choice part. I feel like people's ability to lack empathy for Piltover getting attacks and Caitlyn's grief is very clearly portraying Caitlyn's whole "It's so easy to hate all of them because of one person," schtick. Piltover's government is clearly in the wrong in this situation, they made Zaun the way it is. Also I'm not excusing Caitlyn's actions, she's my favorite character, but that doesn't mean the things she does are right. That's not what I'm saying at all. But I feel like lacking all empathy for Piltover is just wrong. I get that they're privileged but most of Piltover's citizens are equivalent to modern middle class. And yeah we spend most of our time with the highest class in Piltover, but it's really interesting. I understand why people dont feel bad for whats happening to Piltover and they genuinely need a complete destruction and reconstruction of their government system, but like also... don't lack empathy for them? People are still people and yes many corrupt people are getting their comeuppance, but don't forget the regular people there too. Idk maybe that's a hot take

Arcane is like so good that even irl, the things people think are able to bolster the themes of the show itself.

[wolves-and-stars]

Remus in his Element: FIC REC LIST

(A list of fics where the authors dont fuck up remus lupin, the most brilliant, wonderful man to have existed.)

Okay i would like to preface this by saying that i went throught the 2014 remus lupin is a nerd era (and thats not to say he isn't, just not thr way they made him out to be) and it was the worst. So, here are some fics that give REMUS LUPIN.

1. Subtlety, Thy Name is Sirius Black by rekahneko (ffnet) 21k

Remus thinks sirius needs to be more subtle with his flirting, sirius thinks remus is full of shit. So they make a bet to see who's right. Remus has to manage to subtely get the girl (cough cough) he has a crush on to ask him out, before sirius can agree someone else to ask him out.

Remus is so self assured and comfortable with who he is and what he wants without comprimising on his affection and actual personality.

Fire fic.

2. The lad that loved you by mollymarymarie (ao3) 81k

Remus and Sirius get into a relationship, naturally the next step is to pretend they hate each other and give james a heart attack.

Remus is so sexy in this one. The final chapter is (SPOILER) so fire when he punches snape.

3. Ten reasons (to go to michigan) by greyeyedmonster18 (ao3) 59k

Remus is a newly divorced and a best selling author, unfortunatley he has nothing left to write. So, he books a flight to the upper peninsula where he grew up. He happens to meet a starnger in a coffeeshop, who happens to change his life.

There's a scene with his ex husband, where he throws down his credit card and it is such a breath of fresh air with all the pushover remus characterizations.

4. Dating Remus Lupin by children_of_the_shadows (ao3) 83k

You will never find a fic with such brilliant characterizations of all of the marauders. All 4 of them are so unique and funnily written. Sirius is so unhinged its crazy. Hes giving bimbo, but deliberate bimbo yaknow? And remus. Ohmygod remus in this fic.

He is so emo, aloof, nonchalant. And it drives sirius up the wall. Remus gives so hard in this fic.

5. Sex pistols by Artificialaorta (ffnet) 86k

Remus is the lead gutairist for belladonna a punk rock band. His character is so cool and so sauve, but irl he is not so cool and not so sauve about sirius black, lead singer for pop band the marauders.

I love fics that dont put his character down by making him someone that just gives into everything sirius and james say and do. But still manage to keep him, himself you know?

6. Stalking sirius by remuslives23

Remus is very self assured and confident in the way he acts in this. Hes a journalist that stalks sirius and happens to be the only one that gets under the mysterious mans skin.

7. Highland Fling by Picascribit (a03) 38k

Sirius goes backpacking through scotland and happens to meet a cute bartender at the pub. Except hes staright, lives in america, and set to be engaged.

Again self assured remus. No insecurity or digs at his personality.

8. This is the Life by 1electricpirate (ao3) 15k

After the war, Sirius becomes an uptight, high-ranking Ministry official; but when an old childhood friend comes unexpectedly back in his life, he learns what it is to let go and live and love once more - the question is, will Remus let him?

Love remus in this one.

9. Rumor has it by Remy_writes5 (ao3) 15k

No student had ever figured out why Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin seemed to hate each other so much, and at this point in the year the seniors were done trying. All they had time to focus on now was finals and graduation, although the annual class trip provided a welcome distraction. Three days on a lake with their four favorite teachers and plenty of time to gossip had to be a good time, right?

10. The London Underground Book of Love by Children_of_the_Shadows

The cardinal rule of the London Underground is to never, ever make eye contact. It is a rule that, among many others, Sirius tends to follow despite his otherwise rebellious, non-rule-following nature. So the first time he makes eye contact with a human being in the subway comes as much of a shock to him as anyone else. Especially when he's unable to look away.

Remus is so cute and fluffy in this.

11. Everything's Connected by mizdiz (ao3) 44k

When he's seven years old, Sirius Black has a brief encounter with a strange boy in the woods, who, in their short exchange, teaches him an important lesson about the nature of the Universe, only to then disappear without a trace.

Nine years later, Sirius, along with his two best friends, is a student away at boarding school, with a brand new transfer student as his roommmate--a foul-mouthed, astronomy nerd named Remus Lupin.

Between school, hormones, relationships, and the fact that he is keeping a (magical) secret away from everyone--Sirius' year starts to go a little off the rails.

Not to mention, there's something familiar about that Remus Lupin kid that he just can't seem to shake...

Remus lupin is magic in this one.

12. Play Dates by DeathjunkE (ao3)

Remus and Sirius are Single Parents who meet by chance and become interested in one another.

Remus is just a simple, good, kind, baker.

13. Wizard beat by eprime (ao3) 6k

Sirius is a fanboy.

14. Remus Lupin's Guide to Successful Courting by Children of the Shadows (ffnet)

Remus has lived for twenty five years now. Due to his incapability to emote or feel many complicated things at the same time, he has always maintained a straight face, his facial features sitting at an angle of approximately a hundred and seventy four point two d though he has practiced it many times before in front of the mirror, Remus has truly never smiled.

[storkmuffin]

muffin, hi hi!!! i love your essays relating to atz, is nice seeing someone else's perspective of their bonds, form of speaking, and overall personas 🫶🫶 feel like there isn't that many space for convos like this on twt or other places

and ive come to ask two things (and an observation related to what ive come to realize after reading your essays)

1. sorry if this is too forward, but how are neurodivergencies treated in korea? :0 did you get a diagnosis or are you selfdx? its something I've wondered ever since seeing tinys or even other kpop fandoms say that "x member is nd!"

2. ...are you planning to make a hj essay soon? i find him a very interesting man ☝️ i even dare say that he gives off the vibe of someone that doesn't want his members (or even tinys) to be truly away from him, like. the fact that his loreteez character is doing so much to keep them together, and if we take the "henry jo is hj from an alternative timeline" theory into account, alongside the guy saying that a lot of the lore is based in some irl aspects... yeah

and the recurrent "dont look at other idols" jokes he makes 😭😭 in my country theres a saying that goes "entre broma y broma, la verdad se asoma" (lit. in every joke, the truth peeks through) and this definitely applies here imo. i just think that he's probably a bit insecure and thinks that many people aren't going to stay with him, or maybe im reading him wrong/too much

and now for the reflection (or conclusion idk)

man. im truly taking bits and pieces of these men in order to build the fictional boy i used to love for many years. (im sorry if that sounds dehumanizing but hear me out)

i got into atz after a past hyperfixation of mine went badly (never get into white gamer men), and i just needed something to keep myself afloat and sane— that "love" ended up being more genuine as time passed, them being less of a "rebound" (im sorry) and more of something i like and im passionate abt, alongside another long-standing hyperfixation ive had with a fictional boy

a few months ago that hyp also went badly. i didn't wanted to see or acknowledge that his author was fumbling him for years, and that he was slowly changing into someone else. it all blew up on me seeing all the traits that i loved about him not being there anymore, he was pretty much a soulless doll that got into a frankly undercooked relationship with his girl best friend. no acknowledgement of his trauma, no introspection, not even some tears (he was my crybaby hero!!! WHERE DID HE GO 😭😭)

but anyways. ever since then ive been getting more into atz, and the more i started to realize how i unconsciously was attracted to members that displayed the most aspects of the fictional character's personality. for ex. hwa's passion for his interests, sn's drive to protect and understand people that are different to him, mingi's live convos taking things like aliens coming to earth seriously... in those moments, i found glimpses of what that boy was for me- i could almost reach out and feel that he was actually real, even if he was cut to pieces and in different people.

maybe the boy i loved was the most basic form of something made for a woman to love and fantasize about, but that doesn't erase that ive spent almost a decade loving him idc

-🧋(im sorry for dropping an entire manifesto here, have a good day xoxo 💋)

OK first of all, I love that you called me MUFFIN :D :D. Secondly, this imaginative way you're using the personas that Ateez is presenting to you and weaving as they go is one of the optimal ways of engaging in fandom. You seem kind of down on yourself about approaching things that way but, Friend, reality is harsh and life can be very difficult, and there's nothing wrong with engaging in fantasy using the publicly presented personas of people who want your attention. You seem imaginative in general, so maybe, eventually, instead of having to rely on other authors (who disappoint), you can create your own blorbo, which then will delight other people.

To answer your questions:

I am self diagnosed. I did talk to a therapist who isn't a ND specialist and she basically said there really wouldn't be a point to getting an official diagnosis, because the therapies available would be of the type that are too rudimentary for someone like me who is already an adult. I had to figure things out the hard way, through traumatizing trial and error, about what NTs will react violently to, but that's in the past. I already know now. I hear a lot about young children now being diagnosed, and it's received and relayed as a disaster, like the child has fallen terribly ill, but these kids are also of the non-interactive, non-verbal, can't-mask variety of NDs. ADHD is caught by teachers very well, apparently, and the children are medicated and given therapy as much as the parents can afford. We did have a very popular K-drama, about a ND genius attorney. I don't watch TV of any country very much so I didn't watch that, but a friend did and she thought it was too idealized and silly. The prejudices and oppression against people who seem odd or are disabled or can't fit in in Korea are about what you'd see anywhere else in the developed world, I think.

The "don't look at other idols" thing is something I've seen Lee Know allude to (though not as directly) from Stray Kids and though my sample is just two, given how differently they're styled and marketed from Ateez, I have come to assume and extrapolate that all boy Idols say this to their fans. I've written elsewhere about the economics of boybands that I've learned from books on the industry, but for the tldr: the boybands survive on financial engagement from their specific fandoms, girlbands go for more 'mass' appeal. It's imperative for a boyband to have the continued attention and loyalty of their fandom audience to survive through the next 'comeback.' They have to say that, and pray that the fandom stay with them.

Hongjoong - I don't currently expect to write about HongJoong. HAHAHA LAUGHING AT MY SELF HEEHEEE HAAAA. I mean. I never thought I'd write about Mingi and then I was live blogging his Lives minute by minute. I did not intend to write THREE separate giant posts about Yeosang, but I did. I'm currently thinking about Yunho a lot.

But (oh here we go, you've gotten me started).

Hongjoong has this Feral Demon Line Participant x Napoleon Complex to the max x Killjoy School Marm x Wants to Make It Worse x I'm The Dictator Father x I'm the Baby x My Work Wife Dominates Me While Pretending Not To x Insane Ball of Creative Energy That Goes Big Every Time x Is the kindest, mildest, weepiest, sweet, sheltered virgin (not literally but you know what I mean) x I Am A Jealous Boyfriend of Atiny / I'm Not Locked In Here With Them, Atiny Is Locked in Here With Me x Milions Love Me x My One Friend In the World is Park Seonghwa situation happening. AND I also read him as being ND, as someone who is figuring out how to be a person and a leader as he goes, where the strengths of being ND in the ways I recognize and the weaknesses too are very illuminating to me.

So even though I don't plan to, I probably will at some point write about Hong Joong. If there's a topic or aspect or some content you (you, just you, Hongjoong Verdad Anon) would like me to add to me 'to be written' roster, I'd gladly take it on.

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Guide/Masterpost and introduction

Figured I should make one of these so here we go, I'm Wisteria but u can just call me Wisty or Wistie! ^v^

btw if I dont follow u back its because this is a side blog and not my main blog, and I dont wanna share my main 👍also just to clarify reblogs are cool but reposts arent

Idc about pronouns just don't call me he/him lol

I joined the octonauts Fandom like right at the start of 2025, and im just into making art and au's for the octonauts but ill occasionally reblog stuff about animal facts or character tropes lol

My main au is going to be tagged "Misty Memories au" for now

Some other tags u can use for my blog include:

My art (anything that I've drawn, from mini comics, main comic updates, etc)

Character design (my character design art for the octonauts characters+ ocs that often include lore about the character)

My comic (parts of my main comic for misty memories)

Yap post (any post that I either made or added onto and talked alot, these may have lore for Misty Memories)

Octo headcanons (these are usually silly posts that might contain some art, but 100% has different (usually) lighthearted headcanons about character dynamics, habits, past, and etc)

Wisty responds<3 ( anything that i respond to from my ask box, so if u asked me a question anonymously and haven't seen a response u can check that tag! Also I might just take 1-2 business days to respond cuz I'm a slow processor or might be making art for an ask that just happened to inspire me:> )

Cryptid Kwazii AU (an au ill probably post about later in the future lol there's nothing under that tag)

Octo lore: specifically lore posts

I'll add more tags if needed

Also feel free to send me asks! You can ask me anything about octonauts or my au! U can also request art but I cant promise ill make it, at least not right away anyways lol

I guess DNI and general rules under the tags?

Also if ur the type to hate on minorities or people with mental disorders and disabilities please don't bring that energy to my blog. I will also not tolerate anyone who isn't supportive of Palestine.

I also don't want people arguing over ships or whatever under my posts, if yall have beef please do it someplace else. Please do not involve me in any Fandom drama that may occur I do not need the anxiety or stress.

This blog isn't for drama, hate, political issues, or anything else. This is meant to be a safe space for me (and anyone else who happens to like my art) to enjoy octonauts and maybe the occasional animal fact post.

If there are irl issues that I dont post about its because as mentioned before, this isn't what the blog is for and also because I have anxiety about posting/reblogging about certain topics.

Don't approach me with the intent of a romantic relationship.

I am an adult but I dont feel comfortable with sexual comments towards myself or my artwork. Saying u think a character is hot or wtv is fine but no weird comments.

Do NOT repost my artwork even if you credit me. If anyone sees that happen please let me know.

Some of my art will contain trigger warnings, any artworks that I feel are more likely to be triggering (such as those containing blood) will be put under a tag such as "tw blood". If you see that any of my artwork of posts contain triggering topics I haven't tagged please let me know.

Idk if it'll ever happen but if anyone wants to draw their own art for my au that's fine, just make sure of ur drawing art that is associated with my comic (aka using my character designs or plot points) to give me credit 👍

I dont wanna sound egotistical or assume but like ig I should mention that cuz I've seen other artists talk about it lol

also IN MY AU MANY CHARACTERS ARE ARO OR ACE ASPEC

This includes captain barnacles and kwazii! I ship them as a queer platonic relationship or QPR. So its fine if u tag my posts with their shipname-

But please understand i don't feel comfortable with their relationship being seen in a sexual/highly romantic way, at least not for MY AU.

I dont care about what other people ship but please don't force social norms about romance and etc onto my aro ace depictions specifically, thank you.

My au is very important and personal to me, so purposefully twisting it to something else just because u don't like mental health depictions or aro ace experiences is kinda yuck yk?

If u wanna share ur own thoughts and etc in comments then thats fine, I love that stuff, but I just DONT WANT TO SEE

"LOL hes not even autistic though" or " they are so into eachother just make them kiss already" or ANYTHING of that sort

Okay sorry if this bit sounded aggressive or whatever hrjrhdnsbskdnf I love to hear different interpretations but I just can't stand ablism and etc

[kaleido-write]

Leasebound: artsyle or art choices

I've seen the latest comment and wanted to add information and context my credentials on the matter are being a multidisciplinary art student , I've done pretty much any type of art you can think about going from glass painting to kabuki theater.

Leo here this absolute king was eloquent and very nice in his questions wich i absolutely love , he showed a level of respect rusty isn't capable of

And here is rusty reply

1.

We start terribly wrong here , clothing *is* about personality, it is about someone preferences , likes , dislikes ect . Its here to tell us about the characters

Such as , well any characters in media their fashion style is representation of who they are , and the same goes irl .

Let's use the howl house as an exemple because it's a really great dos and donts made by a women so hopefully rusty will swallow better the criticism ! Dana uses fashion to show the evolution of her character and their personality , reducing fashion as unnecessary is a tell that rusty doesn't know anything about character design nor how to make a story that matters and make sense

And what do i mean by matters ? Because it can sound harsh and mean I admit it , i mean something that tell us something, not just a place holder to say she is relevant nor good because she made a comic . Because you can do something for a long time and still be bad at it . Time isn't always an indicator of something value

2.

Color schemes are completely natural in artwork ??? What is she talking about ??

Color schemes are so so important to ensure the color coordination of your panels , to ensure everything fits together without being such different color it will give a headache , color schemes are there to tell stories to and her complete lack of acknowledgement towards it tells me everything i need to know about her as an artist

She doesnt know anything about the theories nor is her limited art knowledge truly worked on , she simply started drawing one day and never bothered to study anything art related

3.

Its actually quite simple to do , all that work you find monstrous rusty is actually the before work you do , its the work you do to get to know your own characters and how you will tell your story , and it's quite easy to do , you simply lack the imagination and understanding of the importance of forework

4.

No rusty nobody is insulting your skills , Leo was simply asking about your stylistic choices , yk what you claim is an art style? Because there's a difference between the 2 if you didn't knew wich i know you don't.

5.

Rusty , you made a comic on the basis that lesbians don't have enough representation. How can you in your right mind complain over people asking if you will represent them too , how stuck up do you have to be really .

Also many many 1 person comics have theses little details , details that are not concise , like Jaden tattoo !! But apparently that tattoo and shez tattoo aren't too annoying to draw uh ?

You can pick and chose what you want to represent but don't belittle people for asking why you're representation is a very selective way of portraying lesbians , representation that at its core is the lesbians you would be attracted to nobody is blind enough to not realize you do that , especially with how much every main character slowly start to look like each other .

6.

Actually rusty you did break art design rules and comic making rules to actually make the comic go better and faster . You just don't know them so obviously you can't know that you broke them because you're too ignorant to actually study art properly

In conclusion no one (again) discussed rusty actual artstyle wich involve the way she draws , that's the artstyle

The art choices are wich color to use , the design choices ect , so thank you for anyone to actually take the time to learn what an artstyle is and maybe yall will stop bitching and moaning about a fight that doesn't exist .

Also special shout out to Sarah 🫶 hope you doing good too

Unfortunately yet again rusty and her over inflated ego took over any sense she may have and decided to just be absolutely mean and awful once more

Sarah only showed to you that a color palette is used *everywhere* (i will use neutral pronouns but if Sarah wish for me to correct the text with the appropriate pronouns I will) they came forward to show her and she had the audacity to complain ??? They didn't latch onto it they simply wanted to help you improve

It is a mistake rusty , you're actively making art mistakes because you don't know shit about art . You keep having the sheer audacity when many people who actually study art tell you you're wrong and making mistakes .

Yikes since you can't insult him you decided to misgender him ? You're right rusty you're not stupid you're pathetic cruel and mean and can't differentiate hate from genuine comments for wich reason ? Oh wait I know ! Because everyone that came forward with good tips and advice you see it as hate , you have no distinction of it because if someone doesn't comfort you into your self idealized version of yourself you feel too challenged and the idea of growing to be better is terrifying to grown ass women like you .

You seem to be incredibly bitter over making your comic for free , and to think of the hatedom as genuine interest when no rusty, me personally I simply take great joy in dissecting your work and seeing every mistakes you make , because you're a terribly mean person that has no idea what respect is and can't be respectful to people if they're not your bootlicker , i pity your friends and fans , they must live in fear of saying the wrong thing and make you mad

Cola we all blocked you because you too have no idea what you're talking about you too can't even tell us what is an artstyle from art choices

A great exemple of representation and simplified artwork is "high class homo" on webtoon with the main lesbian princess having a prosthetic leg or again "the cursed princess club" wich is amazing and has a simplified artstyle

What we are critiquing are art choices , please you all should go take art classes and learn a fraction of what I know

But rusty , Leo was good faith , Sarah was good faith , we are all good faith you simply chose to see it as attacks because of your over inflated ego , please go to therapy you need it more than me , learn that other people have feelings ok ?

No , it is a hatedom rusty , I do not in the slightest enjoy your work riddled with mistakes and hatred for anyone that doesn't conform to your narrow definition of how people should be.

If you're losing money then..stop it ? Stop complaining about losing money , if you have health issues too you should put that all first instead of a comic .