#i dont like that it comes from barnes mostly because he might mean it in a negative way

[sparrowstarsandsorrow]

I thought these two scenes made quite an interesting parallel between how both Chris and Elias are called crusaders. It can also show a similarity between the two characters. They both share the same belief in war effort and high moral.

[finaledenialist]

so in one of your asks you said you dont think cas was in love with dean since the beginning and idk its interesting to me because everyone seem to think he was from the start so what is your take on that? idk im just curious haha

ohhh I wanted to make a post about this so thanks for asking!

disclaimer: I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade I just have a different take on this whole thing!!! 

So. I see people are like: OMG he was in love ALL THIS TIME SINCE 4x01 and I am like: no. 

Was he lost since he laid his hand on Dean in hell? Yes. Was he instantly in love? Nah.

See, Cas in season 4 and 5 is starting to feel. He is conflicted, he is questioning, he doesn’t have ‘people skills’, he is confused by what he feels, he knows there is a ‘profound bond’ between him and Dean and he is rebelling for Dean, because Dean has a point and Cas feels Dean is right and apocalypse and destruction are wrong, and this human is so human and he never had that connection before. Add the sexual innuendos, the eye fucking and the tension between those two and this is what i call ‘classic destiel’. I do have a strong feeling this is partly Jensen’s and Misha’s fault though haha but I am also convinced that the jokes like ‘Cas, get out of my ass!’/’Blow me Cas’ are purely for ‘comedic purposes’ because haha gay so funny (keep in mind it’s still 2008/2009 and things were so different then BUT we still got Endverse which had not only sexual stuff implied but romantic as well - ‘all we have left, Dean and I, is each other, if Dean says it’s time to go in a blaze of glory, so be it’ (I am writing this from memory so these might not have been exact lines but you know what I am talking about).

And then in season 6 and 7 is where things start to get romantic. ‘I watched you rake leaves’, Dean’s blind faith that no, Cas can’t be working with Crowley behind their backs because come on it’s Cas and the whole 6x20 episode is *chief’s kiss* and then season 7 and Cas dies to make things right and Dean keeps his trenchcoat and moves it from every car they have been using that season to always have it with him because part of me always believed you’d come back. OK, but I was meant to be talking mostly about Cas’ point of view. Which takes me back to 7x23 and I’d rather have you, cursed or not. I think these words had a major impact on Cas. Something just clicked. Because he realized that he could say these exact same words to Dean and they still would be true. 

And then we got season 8 which was a major shift and it really moved stuff from ‘sexual tension’ to ‘romantic tension’ and it’s still called ‘season fanfiction’ because I wanted to keep them away from you in purgatory and Cas generally not feeling worthy of anything but I think this is when he started to realize that what he feels is not like ‘brotherly friendship’ but something much deeper but he had his issues (I don’t deserve to be saved from purgatory thing) so he kind of kept it buried. But this was when the Real Love really started. But did he admit it to himself? Well I am not in Cas’ head but something must have been on his mind - Naomi had access too his mind and she immediately recognized that there is a certain Feeling that is dangerous and Cas needs to be fucking lobotomized (I still have shivers thinking about it). Did Naomi knew it was love? Idk, but she felt something was going on - that is why she tried to mess things up between Dean and Cas (I only wish he felt the same way ouch my heart....) and Metatron also recognized it, quicker and better (maybe because he spent much more time on earth and was generally a little more powerful and knowing as the scribe of God) and he immediately used Cas’ grace to banish angels from heaven because Cas was feeling love for a human. But did he, himself recognized it as love? Did he admit it to himself? I still have a feeling that no. I still think that his ‘I don’t know’ after Dean’s ‘What broke the connection?’ was honest.

Now let me fast forward to season 12, because this post is getting too long already and while seasons 9-11 had some good episodes and even good destiel scenes I feel this was the time many people - rightly so - were starting to lose faith in canon destiel, starting with Dean not letting Cas stay in the bunker in season 9 and bros acting like they only call Cas when they need him. I repeat - there were still some good episodes, even great ones. And we were shown Cas worried about Dean and being there for him anytime Dean called, there was so much pining but once again let me raise The Question: did Cas know what he was feeling was love? Or was he still confused, not letting himself believe, not being able to name his own feelings and emotions? And this is merely my opinion but this is also time where many people started to be bitter and negative by how writers treated Cas (and other characters in general but I am not gonna dive into that dumpster now, especially the Cas-having-sex-with-a-reaper thing which was awful, but in retrospect is even more awful because if it was Chuck’s writing this seems like some kind of sick attempt to do a conversion therapy and I want to throw up; plus he thought? he was into his boss at gas’n’sip and he thought she was into him and what even was it if not a. bad writing; b. Cas being confused; c. Cas being confused about this bad writing).

So season 12. First of all 12x12, when Cas thought he is gonna die and the infamous line ‘I love you. I love all of you’ happened. I  am 100% sure this is when Cas realized. This must have prompted questions for him. Why did I say what I said? He blurted those words out but why like that? Aaaand after some thinking I think he realized why. He must’ve been like ‘oooops’. But then Jack was about to be born and he had to protect Kelly and then he died.

And then he is in the Empty who says - I know who you love, I know what you fear, there is nothing for you out there. She doesn’t know shit, she just has access to Cas’ mind and apparently those were his thoughts, already at that time, he thought there was nothing for him out there (again, his depression issues) BUT THEN CAS, MY SWEET CAS, THIS BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER says fuck you Empty in one of his best monologues (before 15x18 I’d say it was his best but here we are) and she yeets him out, because HE decided HE is already saved and he doesn’t need a permission and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity. 

And then Jack dies and he takes the humiliating deal.  And now we’re at 15x18 and he says: ‘I have always wondered.... ever since I took that burden.... What my true happiness can even look like... Because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have’. SEE THESE WORDS HERE ARE WHY I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT. BECAUSE THEY IMPLY at least to me THAT:

1. He was aware of his feelings, he knew what he felt was love at the time he took the deal. and after that he was like ‘I guess I am immortal now’ because the one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have so nothing else is going to make him truly happy; this also implies that there is only one thing he truly wants and the rest is just not that important, whatever else happens won’t make him happy which is heartbreaking;

2. He knew what he wanted, so this means that at some point he wondered, he imagined, he took his time to picture the ‘thing’ he wanted. Which is life with Dean. Because he is in love. LIKE HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, HE REALLY DID AND HE CONCLUDED THAT THIS IS OUT OF HIS REACH (now people argue if that is because he thinks it’s unrequited or because he thinks that something something hunter life-fighting all the time-no attachments lifestyle won’t allow them to have this sort of life - and frankly, knowing that he learned everything, or almost everything about emotions from Dean, who isn’t really good at them, I am not surprised if he is sure that this feeling is one-sided, because maybe he conquered his fears in the Empty the first time around but taking the deal must have made him anxious and Chuck still calls him self-hating so he probably thinks this is one-sided and he is unworthy of love anyway);

3. He tried to imagine different scenarios that would make him happy but eventually it all came down to That One True Scenario, out of his reach, that couldn’t compare with anything else, and he tells Jack - you know about that deal, it’s ok, I don’t see myself becoming happy anytime soon AND IT HURTSSS

so to conclude and tl;dr - I think Cas realized that what he was feeling was love after 12x12 although he felt it before but might have been confused by it. I do not think he was ~in love~ since 4x01. There was tension and there was pining but no. This feeling evolved, it didn’t *just* happen in the barn. 

also i am so sorry this took so long but i have thoughts and feelings and can’t form a coherent sentence since november 5th anyway thanks for asking nonny, ily!!!!

[msmarvelwrites]

The Winter Ghost - Part 11

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, ptsd, fluff

W/c: 2.4 k 

A/n: Wow, its been a week! I dont know about you but August is something else honestly! I hope you guys are enjoying the read and as always if you have any feedback, or youd just like to chat, hit me up! Thank you @cutie1365​ for your help with this one! 

It had been a whole week since you woke up in Shuri’s lab, but the fifteen minutes it took her to perform the final analysis felt like it droned on forever.

In the days that passed Wanda had come by your room the most. She had changed, but then again, so had you. Her eyes bare a worry that never seemed to go away, no matter how much you reassured her. It wasn't her fault. But even still, every time she saw you she tiptoed, afraid she’d set you off at any moment. You were used to this coming from Steve, but a tiny part of you broke at the thought of Wanda fearing you. She had always accepted you, no questions asked… 

Nat would usually come for dinner, giving you the full breakdown of the day. Since waking up and remembering everything it was hard to trust the people around you, but she made it a little easier. She assured you that Sam wasn't angry, and that he had recovered with very minor injuries. You were thankful she didn't bring up your other opponent. 

Then there was the Captain himself. You haven't really seen Steve much, but you heard him through the walls of your room. He visited his friend every day. He never actually went into his room, however. He would only stand outside and apologize over and over for something you could never make out.

On the fourth day, he spoke to you. You were half asleep, it was probably sometime past midnight when you heard his voice. 

“No! Please NO!,” His voice woke you from your sleepy daze. “Y/n, please. I’m so sorry. I didn't know. I- I'm so sorry, I never…” The sound of your name on his lips caused a shiver to rush down your spine. His words came out breathy as he choked on a sob. It was clear to you he was having a nightmare. There was a part of you, albeit small, that wanted nothing more than to rush to him, and sooth his fears. But you didn't. You just listened while he screamed for you, unmoving. That's what he deserves, you thought, but you didn't believe it. Not fully. 

“Okay, lets go over this again. What's your name?” Shuri rolled across the room on her chair scribbling something down on a tablet. You rolled your eyes, this had to be the fifth time she had asked you. 

“Y/n L/n. Born in Philadelphia.  Joined S.H.I.E.L.D after my family died in a fire. Moved to Jersey to be closer to work, met Agent Beson, got engaged, and then The Winter Soldier killed him… Did I miss anything?” You rattled off. Shuri only nodded, writing something down you couldn't see. 

“You developed a super soldier serum that could absorb the powers of your opponent.” Shuri ‘reminded’ you. 

“Right, how could I forget what got me into this shit show in the first place.” You scoffed. 

“And you remember how you made it?” She asked. 

“Yes… No… Maybe? I think with some time I could recreate it, but I’d need to run a few tests, get the ingredients at the corner store. The serum was created for me and me alone. In case it got into the wrong hands, I didn't want anyone else to be able to use it.” You shuttered at the memory burned into your mind. The wet cement room Hydra had locked you in for days, torturing you for answers you wouldn't dare give. “It’s flawed, obviously. It was never ready to be used. We were trying something new. I was never the best candidate for the serum, as it amplifies what's already within and in my case, was pretty fucked up already… Not to mention the nasty side effects.” 

“And what would those be?” The small scientist spoke, now on the other side of the room pulling up a hologram of Dr. Erskine’s original serum from World War II.

“Psychosis mostly. But there was a chance it would enhance trauma or cause permanent brain damage… You know, the good stuff.” You chuckled but Shuri didn't look quite as enthused. “Look, I didn't say the serum was perfect. It was my first draft.”

“Hydra doesn't care about perfection. They want it, and they're going to do anything to get it.” Steve voiced from the doorway you only now realized he was standing in.

 “You look like you're feeling better.” He said. 

“Well, thank you Captain.” You saluted him in a mocking way that only made his jaw clench, “Here’s hoping you can say the same for your friend.” Your words dripping with sarcasm. 

Steve's eyes went dark at that. He looked like he was going to rip you in half. Of course he couldn't, at least not with your homemade cocktail coursing through your veins.

“She’s not ready.” Steve barked refusing to make eye contact with you. You tried to play it cool, but if the Captain was the reason for you staying locked up in this lab for another day you were going to throw a full blown temper tantrum. 

“She’s passed all psych evaluations, and seems to have control over her emotions.” Shuri aspoke matter of factly. 

Damn right. 

“I don't care about some evaluation. If I say she’s not ready-” That was it. It was, after all, pretty easy for you to lose your temper these days. 

“You can't just keep me here!” You shouted, causing Steve's head to snap back in your direction. 

“I can and I will. Until we are sure you're not a threat.” He seethed.

“Well, she’s not. And you're not in charge here. I am.” Shuri matched his tone, causing a small smirk to play on your lips. What a badass. 

Steve only blinked at the small girl, unsure of what to say next. So she continued.

“She’ll be back in her room on the compound by the end of the day. If you don't like that, by all means leave. Wasn't that yours and Bucky’s plan after all?” Shuri snapped. This new information made you stiff. They were leaving? Both of them? You weren't sure why this made you feel nauseous, but it did. 

“Yeah, like he’d ever leave without her.” He pointed an accusatory finger at you, causing you to imagine how satisfactory it would be to snap it off and shove it right up his tight-

“If you stay, you listen to me. You're not my captain here, Steve. Show me some respect.” Her voice was powerful. You weren't sure how a sixteen year old could hold herself with confidence, lord knows you were a mess at her age, but nevertheless, she did. And she did it with an unmatched grace. 

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it, lost for words. Shuri held her stare, unwavering as she looked up at the 6 foot man. Seriously, what a badass. 

“If she loses control, it's on you.” He all but shouted while Shuri only chuckled causing a rage to wash over Steves face. 

“Actually, I think if she loses it again, it will be lost on you.” She looked at you while you nodded giggly. Steve shuttered at the idea, making you smile from ear to ear. With that, he stormed out of the lap. The two of you stared at each other before bursting out laughing. 

“Did you see his face!? He looked like he was going to shit his pants!” You cackled, holding your stomach for some sort of relief. 

“I don't think he’s used to being told no. Big baby.” She cooed, laughing to herself. “To be fair, you almost killed his best friend, so if I was on your bad side I might be worried too.” That shut you down. Steve was one thing, if he feared you, so be it. But you weren't dangerous. Okay, you had squashed Barnes like the bug he was, but that wasn't here nor there. 

You signed. They had every right to fear you. You feared yourself at times. But the reappearing of your memories seemed to ease you, for now at least. Everything was back on the table. You knew who you were and you could finally see the whole picture. 

“Okay, but seriously Y/n. We have to talk about a few things before I release you.” Shuri spoke, pulling her seat back up beside you. You attended to her newly serious tone and looked down at her from the bed. “Hydras after you. They need that serum, for who knows what. We have to know, can it be cloned while in your bloodstream? Is there anywhere else but that lab you blew up where they could get the blueprints to recreate it?” She asked. 

“Nope and nope.” You popped the ‘P’ as you spoke. “Hydra can’t reacreat it without me, and that will never happen again, so they're screwed. I didn't tell anyone what I was working with, not even Tommy.” Your voice fell flat at the mention of his name. 

“That's good. Steve’s going to want to hold a team meeting to brief everyone on what's going on and Natasha’s been chomping at the bit to get you back to training. You think you're up for that?” You only nodded, reassuring her. 

“Just get me the fuck out of this damn lab. No offense but if I have to look at your face for another second I’m going to find out about that psychosis side effect.” Shuri giggled at that. 

“You're free to go.” She gestured towards the door. Your eyes went wide, but she didn't have to tell you twice. In seconds you rushed out of the door and down the hallway towards your room. 

As you passed through the kitchen, you noticed Nat sitting at the island eating breakfast. You waved and her face fell. Peaking around the corner you noticed why. 

There, sitting on the large couch was, Bucky. 

Fuck. 

Bucky noticed Nat’s stiffness and turned to see what had her so nervous. That's when his eyes landed on you. All colour washed away from his face, leaving him pale. A ghost of who he once was. Before he could get up, you were gone, sprinting down the hallway. When you thought about seeing Bucky again you imagined feeling a million emotions. Murderous rage being one of them but this, this was not one of them.

When you were finally in your bedroom with the door locked, you allowed yourself to sob. Tears streamed down your face as relief washed over your body. You despised yourself for feeling anything but disgust for the man who had slaughtered any chance at happiness in your life. But, here you were, crying into your pillow like a heart broken teeager, because the man you loved wasn't dead. You wished with every fiber of yourself that he had been gunned down on that bridge, but there he sat, in the living room, steel blue eyes fixated on yours, heart still very much beating. 

The loud knocking from the other side of your door was what ripped you back into reality and out of your all consuming thoughts. You closed your eyes, and tried to keep your sniffling quiet, hoping they would just leave. When another three knocks echoed through the room, you groaned, grabbing a pillow from your bed and rocketing through the air.

“I’m busy.” You shouted to the insufferable knocking. 

“No you're not.” Sam’s voice shouted back. A smile pulled at the corner of your mouth at his mocking tone. After a moment of battling with yourself, you slugged off the bed and opened the door. 

Sam smiled down at you, a small pink cut traced itself over the top of his brow down to just below his eye. By now it was almost healed, but you could tell it once was deep and raw.

“Did I do that?” You winced, gesturing to your face where his gash resided. 

“Nothing I can't handle. Can I come in?” He asked.

You nodded, opening the door a little more and allowing him access. He looked around your room. What once was bare, now had boxes and bags filled with items that were important to you. 

“So, how ya’ feelin’?” He asked, taking a seat on the reading chair next to your coffee table. You followed him, tentatively as you sat on the edge of your bed. You hadn't spoken directly to Sam in over a week, you weren't really sure if he still trusted you like before. Hell, you wouldn't blame him if he didnt. 

“Nothing I can't handle.” You mirrored his response, causing him to chuckle softly. 

“Guess were both pretty tough, huh?” He spoke, just over a deep whisper. You nodded your head once in response, feeling the awkward tension to hover in the room before it became hard to breathe. 

“Sam, I-” You stated, but your voice broke. 

“Hey, hey,” He started, crossing the room and in a second he was at your side, kneeling just below you, he took your hands in him. There was no hesitation, no fear in his eyes. He reassured you before placing a soft kiss on the back of your palm. “Dont. Just don't. It’s not your fault. I have every sense to blame that little witch, but it's not her fault either. I’m just glad you're okay, Y/n” He said.

You hadn't noticed the small tear that had escaped until Sam wiped it away, his warm skin seering into yours. 

“Besides, I kicked your ass like, twenty to one. I’d say I still win this match.” That caused a small laugh to bubble out of your chest. 

“Thank you, Sam.” he nodded, getting up and sitting next to you on the bed. 

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Starving.”

“Lets go get some dinner.” He took your hand in his and stood, but you didn't budge. He looked back and raised a brow in question. 

“I think I’m just going to eat in here… If that's okay?” You signed. Feeling like the old broken Y/n who was weak and pathetic. 

“Great idea. I’ll bring you something. We can just hangout. I know for a fact Nat’s been dying to see you, care if she joins us?” He asked, eyes soft and full of understanding. 

“Only if I can pick the movie we watch.” You said, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth. 

“Done deal.”

.........................................................................................................................

A/n: Thank you for reading! Please, like if you like and  reblog if you want to fule my ego! Honestly, thank your for just reading it... I feel like, yeah its lousy, but its really nice to write again. Sending you guys all some postive vibes this week <3

@kalesrebellion​

@projectcampbell​

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Saving Grace - Part 15

A/N: Just a quick update because i've been slacking!! 💕

As lovely as my weekend away with Bucky had been i was so happy to be back with Harrison and Grace. Harrison had been so excited to see us when we got back to the compound.... he crashed out an hour later, clearly he wore himself out!

The next couple of days i mostly spent with Wanda, she was helping me with the kids while we sorted out the details for Harrison's birthday party. Bucky, Sam, Steve and Clint had all been kept busy with work. Bucky and Sam had had so many meetings with Ross while Clint and Steve had been training recruits.

"I can't believe our little Harry is 4 the day after tomorrow!" Wanda smiled sadly as we finished sorting some last minute party details "i missed so much of those years..."

"Aww Wan, dont be sad. You're here for him now thats all that matters, Harrison loves his Auntie Wands"

"I love him too! And my little miss Gracie, Y/N you seriously have the perfect kids!"

"They are pretty great, but i'm totally biased" i laughed quietly trying not to disturb Grace who was fast asleep in my arms.

"How's the house hunting going?"

"We've seen a few places online" i shrugged "but honestly, we just haven't had time to properly look yet what with Bucky being stuck in meetings most of the day. He comes home exhausted most days, i can't expect him to sit up for hours looking for houses"

"Ross has definitely kept them busy since you've been back from your dirty weekend" she smirked while wiggling her eyebrows.

"Funny" i laughed shaking my head at her "I think i preferred it when he didn't want Bucky and Sam involved in whatever god awful plans he's making"

"I think we all did" she chuckled.

Once the final details for Harrisons party were sorted i headed down to the gym to meet Bucky while Wanda stayed with the kids. We had arranged for some refresher training after the break in and realising how rusty i was, it was decided it would be a good idea for me to get back into fighting shape.... of course Bucky volunteered to help me. Walking into the gym i looked around for that man of mine but he was nowhere in sight, i sat and waited for 15 minutes and still nothing.

Y/N: Hey babe, i'm at the gym.... you still okay for our training session? Xx

Bucky: Fuck, sorry baby i'm still in this meeting with Ross..... can we reschedule something for tomorrow? Xx

Y/N: okay not a problem, i'll see you later xx

I tucked my phone into my bag and grabbed my water bottle ready to head back to the living quarter's when i heard my name being called, I turned around and was face to face with Steve.

"Hey, you leaving already?" He asked looking confused "you just got here"

"Yeah i was supposed to be meeting Bucky, he was going to train with me. After the break in and realising how out of practice i am we thought it'd be a good idea" i shrugged.

"He ain't coming?"

"Nope, Ross has them stuck in some meeting"

"I could help you.... i mean its not like i haven't trained with you before and im done for the day"

"I don't know....."

"Wow, you're really gonna turn down the chance to land some punches on me huh?"

"Well when you say it like that..... sure! Lets do this" i smiled shaking my head "just go easy on me its been a while since i've done this"

"We'll go slow, come on" he nodded towards the sparing mats and i followed him over, Steve tossed me some gloves while he took off his hoody and rolled his shoulders out.

"When was the last time you trained?"

"Before i found out i was pregnant with Harrison" i replied avoiding eye contact with Steve, i remembered it clearly. The second i found out i was pregnant i decided i was out of the avenging life, and being a new mom i just didn't have the time for training.

"Wow"

"I know, i should have at least tried to keep up with some of it...."

"No, its not that, its just you look good"

"Having two kids keeps me busy" i shrugged "besides, i could use the tone up. Im still carrying some baby weight..."

"Well not that my opinion counts but i think you look great" Steve said blushing slightly, it reminded me of when we first started dating. Steve would always get embarrassed when paying me a compliment, it was cute. I finished fastening the gloves and stepped onto the mat to stand in front of Steve who held up his bare hands.

"You don't wanna grab some pads??"

"Im good, i can take it" he smirked.

"Lets do this then".

It only took 10-15 minutes before i was finally getting into it, the moves suddenly falling into place, my confidence increasing.

"Okay i think we're good here for today my hands are gonna bruise" Steve smirked after a good 40 minutes of sparing.

"It'll be gone in seconds don't be a baby Steve..... besides i'm enjoying myself"

"How about we change it up then, lets work on your defence. Gloves off, i'm gonna come at you.... stop me"

"Stop you?? Steve you're a super soldier!"

"I'll go easy on you sweetheart don't worry" he chuckled, his laugh quickly dying when he noticed his slip up of calling me sweetheart, old habits die hard i guess. I didn't react to it i just pulled off the gloves and turned to throw them off to the side. While my back was turned Steve lunged at me wrapping his arms around me so my arms were pinned to my body.

"Hey! Cheater!" I moaned struggling in his hold.

"Break free..... remember what i used to tell you?"

I tossed my head back hard hitting Steve in the nose, he wasn't expecting me to hit him so hard and loosened his hold on me enough so i could elbow him in the gut, i turned in his arms and was about to aim for the groin but he quickly blocked my attack and swept my legs out from under me. I landed hard on my back, Steve was then straddling my hips with my hands pinned to the floor.

"Nice try..... did you have to head butt me that hard though?" He laughed.

"It wasn't that hard, maybe you're outta practice too old man".

"Whats going on here?" I heard Bucky from behind and i turned as much as i could to look at him.

"Hey babe, Steve offered to train with me.....but i'm not so sure he's up for the job. Old man Rogers can't even take a head butt to the face anymore"

"Still kicked your ass though"

"You can get off of her now man, you've proved your point. I'll take over from here" Bucky said throwing a death glare at his ex best friend. Steve quickly got up and went to reach his hand out to help me up but Bucky quickly beat him to it. I took Bucky's hand and he easily got me to my feet before pulling me close.

"You wanna carry on training for a bit longer or are you done?"

"I think i'm done for the day" i smiled up at him "i need a shower".

"Okay lets go"

"Thanks for the training session Steve"

"Sure, anytime".

Bucky was silent on the walk back to our room, unusually quiet.

"Hey, you okay? Did you have a bad meeting with Ross?" I asked closing the door so we had some privacy.

"Meeting was fine" he mumbled.

"So whats wrong?"

"Oh maybe it was walking in finding your ex straddling you in the middle of the gym....."

"Buck come on, he just offered to help me out for a bit"

"I know but i dont like it! Seeing him like that with you....." he shook his head and i knew he was thinking of Steve and I together.

"Hey, you have nothing to worry about. You know that right? Im yours.....Completely"

"I know that, i do, but i can't help but worry when i see you two together. You've got history and kids....."

"We have a shitty history incase you forgot? And the kids are yours, you might not be their biological father but you have been more of a dad to them than Steve has been"

"Im scared im going to loose you.... all of you"

"Baby you have nothing to worry about i promise you. I love you Bucky Barnes and im yours"

"I love you too doll, i love you so much" he leant down and kissed me hard pulling me tight to his body.

"You wanna come join me for that shower Sergeant?"

"Yes m'am".

Saving grace tags: @jennmurawski13 @kenzieam

@captainchrisstan @s-t-r-i-k-e-us

@lets--be-honest @ms-betsy-fangirl

@damnaged-princess @farfromtommy

@disneylovingal @lbuck121 @billweasleey @heathens-takeitsl0w

@lacontroller1991 @supervengerslock

@mariswritingforfun

@perpetually-tuned-out @thummbelina

@marvelousstyles @broco8 @ineffableg-irl @ilovesupersoldiers

@writeroutoftime @ek823

@Imjstaghoststory @cap-just-said-language

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[diamondcamefromhell]

Jaskier x Fem!Reader pt.2

PART ONE

I dont think you need to read part 1 to understand this one, but if you want, you can. i woke up wanting to write about this lil bard so much, i might write more today (requests are open) i just love him so much, send help lol, but either way, enjoy this part

Warnings: none, just some play fighting, but nothing too violent

Word count: 2000

After I was saved by Jaskier and Geralt, I felt different. I was free, but that also made me realize I am weak. I don’t know how to fight, and unlike bard, I can’t even provide entertainment. I spend my whole life cleaning up piss and vomit, now out in the real world, I was just a tag along.

And the more Jaskier sang about their adventures, the more scared I got. Bard tried to calm me down, ensuring that he makes things more dramatic for ballad purposes, and Geralt agreed, saying half of the stuff in his songs didn’t happen. My anxiety didn’t give in, but I couldn’t exactly back out now.

I was anxiously petting Sky when Geralt came saying he has a beast to slay. Apparently this townspeople have been attacked at night time, by an ‘angry wolf’ as they described it. I had no idea where we even were, as my world always was so small. Sky anxiously neighed.

“It’s okay boy. You stay here.” I say, petting his muzzle.

“As will you.” Geralt exclaims, and I don’t even try to argue. The last thing I want is to get in a way.

“We can’t leave Y/N alone, Geralt.” Jaskier argues. “She must come with us.”

“Why don’t you stay with her.” While it was supposed to be a question, Witchers tone tells me the discussion is over. I am glad. Jaskier, however, presses his lips tightly together, eyeing Geralt for a few moments, before giving up and sitting down on the grass.

He seems to possess an infinite wardrobe as he is now wearing moss green matching set. It makes his hair look beautiful and his eyes shine even more. I catch myself staring, so I clear my throat and focus back on my horse.

Jaskier was a flirty man, I noticed that. I found it scary, a little harmless flirting for him went right into my heart, nestling there and making it a home. I didn’t want to be disappointed or taint what could be a good friendship.

But my heart wouldn’t shut up.

Geralt pets Roach, silently, before turning on his heel and walking off. Not even a grunt for goodbye, but I gotten used to a rather quiet Witcher, and never quiet bard.

“Are you scared, Y/N?” There he goes again. I look at Jaskier who has a playful grin on his face. My heart races.

“Yes.” I decide to be honest, and his expression softens. “My world consisted of the inn and a barn where me and Sky would rest. My biggest monsters were the men. Not… whatever Geralt has to fight all the time.”

“Geralt knows how to handle a beast, you mustn’t worry.” I nod, but Jaskier can tell I am not convinced. “He will protect you.”

“For how long?” I bring the sour topic on the table, whenever I mention leaving, Jaskier get’s so sad, my heart breaks. I avoid looking at the bard now. “He can’t babysit me forever.”

“He babysits me all the time.” Jaskier jokes, but I don’t crack a smile. “Don’t let him know I said that.”

“I bet you still are better fighter than me.” I say, mostly under my breath, but bard jumps on his feet, gently placing his lute down.

“Then let me train you. We can train together is what I mean.” I look at him as he winks at me, stretching. “We could do that while Geralt gets his coin.”

“I don’t know…” I say, worrying what this play fighting might do to my already fragile heart, but bard insists.

“It will be good.” He stops stretching, looking me directly in the eyes. “And I promise not to hurt you. I’ll be gentle.”

I would much rather he hurts me, because gentleness leads to butterflies in my stomach. I sigh, stepping away from Sky who proceeds to munch on some grass.

“Let’s pretend we’re in a physical fight.” Jaskier has his playful grin back on, and part of me wants to smack it off his face, and other part… well. “Don’t go too hard on me, lady Y/N.”

I roll my eyes, my heart fluttering. However when bard jumps towards me, I manage to get out of the way just in time, but he is surprisingly fast, grabbing me from behind. He lets go almost immediately, giggling. He scores himself a point.

As he is still distracted, celebrating his point, I rush to the bard, slamming him against the tree. I did try to be gentle but he still let’s out a grunt. I thought I actually hurt him, but he laughs, giving me a point. I step away, my cheeks blushing from us being so close.

Jaskier then decides to pick up sticks, for daggers, and see who can get more hits. I didn’t realize we were playing with points, but he was keeping track.

So we continued, for a while. We kept breaking even and our tired giggles filled the forest around us. I was so lost in the moment and so happy, I couldn’t stop smiling. We decided on one final round, as we broke even once more. Whoever scores, wins. I felt competitive spirit grow over me as mischievous smile covered Jaskiers face too.

We circle each other, smiles on our faces. He is the first one to try and jump me, but I move out of the way, turning on my feet, before he attacks me from behind. He smirks, noticing I learnt from the first round, and charges me again, but I manage to get away. This time I don’t hesitate, chasing after bard, as he laughs, moving out of the way – barely though. But that was his plan, before I can find my footing and regain balance, he jumps me, knocking me to the ground.

With that, Jaskier is on top of me, looking down, holding the twig-dagger at my throat. My heart is thumping so loud my ears ring, and I am almost sure he could hear it too. I stare at him, not sure what to do. His usually neat hair is now messed up from all this play fighting, his green suit has some mud stains on it. A couple more buttons are undone now too, but I try not to stare. Somehow, looking like a mess makes his more attractive.

Our eyes meet and I feel like my cheeks are about to catch fire, as bard continues smiling at me, removing the twig from my throat. I am well aware that he knows exactly what he’s doing to me, that’s why he’s so slow to move away from me. His grey eyes grill mine.

It is unusual to see him so relaxed and mischievous. With Geralt around, he’s just loud and talkative and I guess that’s his way of trying to break all of Witcher’s wall. When it’s just us, he is always more relaxed, more playful, but still, just as annoying. I like that about him, often wondering why he acts this way around me, but then I realize I know why.

Jaskier knows he already knocked all of my walls down.

“I win.” He finally says, and I see his eyes, for a split second, drop to my lips. But he lifts himself up, extending his arm to help me get up too. “I hope I didn’t hurt you too much.”

“Only my pride.” I try to joke, but my voice shakes, giving away my nerves. Jaskier smirks at that. He drops the twig to the ground.

“We should do this more often.” If possible, I blush even more.

“Sure.” I stutter and he laughs.

“You’re cute.” I can’t give a reasonable response to that so I just turn around, walking back to Sky, who acts my emotional support whenever I get frustrated about Jaskier. “I mean it, Y/N, you’re dangerously cute.”

“Shut up.” I whisper to myself, smiling but praying he can’t see it. “You’re dangerously good at this.”

“What was that?” Jaskier asks, playfully. I know he couldn’t hear me, I was quiet enough, but my heart still drops. I glance at him.

“Nothing, Jaskier.” I manage, as Sky neighs, as if laughing at me. I glare at the horse. “Next time I will win.”

“I will remember this.” Jaskier approaches me, landing his hand on the horse. Sky loves this attention, as he playfully snorts. I stare at the bard, somehow feeling sad in this blissful moment. I knew this could never last forever.

“I’m scared.” I say out of the blue, and Jaskier’s face softens, all playful grins disappear, and I can tell he’s ready to listen.

“You aren’t such a bad fighter. You went against the greatest bard the world has ever seen, still lost, but you scored some points.” He smiles, his hand landing on my shoulder. I close my eyes.

“No, Jaskier. I’m scared to be alone again.” I don’t want to see his expression, so I keep my eyes closed, leaning on Sky’s barrel.

“You don’t have to be alone ever again.” He tightens his grip on my shoulders and I look at him. He smiles, not his usual grin, but a genuine soft smile. Sky neighs as if to agree with him.

I realize I am not ready for this conversation yet. I don’t have to break my own heart at this very moment, I can wait a little while longer. Enjoy the good things, the playful things.

My eyes drop, and I remember Jaskiers weight on top of me just minutes ago. That playful smile and my heart racing the winds. Knowing one day I will have to give that up, was unbearable.

“Don’t be sad.” His hand lands on my cheek, making me jump. He has a small playful grin on his face. “Next time I will let you win, if that will stop you from leaving.”

“Shut up.” I giggle. He doesn’t remove his hand from my face, and I close my eyes yet again, enjoying the moment. “Thank you, for everything.”

“Well, I thank you, for being my creative muse too.” He steps back, his hand sliding off my cheek. “There is only so much creativity one can get from mighty Witcher, Geralt of Rivia.”

“There is only so much creativity one can get from me.” I playfully say and bard giggles.

“Nobody is infinite.” I nod, agreeing. I feel tears prick my eyes and I don’t know why. Is it happy or sad tears, I couldn’t tell. I am so overwhelmed by everything and I guess I do try to keep it all in, and moments like this make me go over just enough to break. “Did I make you cry again, Y/N?”

“No, Jaskier. It’s just… I don’t like crying, it makes me feel weak.” I try to catch the tears, wipe them away before the water works turn to waterfall.

“There is nothing weak about being human.” I know he’s right but I still cant stop the tears from coming.

“I’m fine, I swear.” I whimper. “I don’t know why I am crying.”

“Happy tears, I hope.” Jaskier pulls me into a hug. “It’s okay tough, Y/N, even if they’re sad.”

“I don’t like it when people see me cry.” I say to his shoulder.

“I must be special then.” I giggle, pulling away. The tear wave came and went. I take a deep breath in.

“Next time, let me win.” I joke and he laughs, making my heavy heart feel ever so slightly lighter.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. You are a winner in many other ways.” I smile at the ground, blushing again.

“You are so sneaky, I hate you.” I say, jokingly pushing him away. Sky snorts at that, disturbed by sudden movement.

“Yet here we are.” Jaskier says, and my fragile hearts gives in. This bard now owns it. I sigh.

“Yeah, here we are.” I agree and Jaskier gifts me a smile again, that same genuine one.

PART THREE

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[loveburnsbrighter]

Live In Your Heart

requested by @i-dont-even-effing-know-anymore. hope you enjoy! 💕

read it on ao3

"We're not setting up the wifi yet," Patrick says.  He's got his Stern Face on, which usually means fun things, but sometimes, unfortunately, means that David will be required to do work.  This seems to be one of those times.

"But babe," he says, wheedling, "how will I order pizza if I don't have wifi?"  He brandishes his phone. "I ran out of data in New York last week." He went with Alexis to help her settle in — it's been a strain, her moving right before he and Patrick were set to, and he's frankly exhausted, physically and emotionally.  "We promised Stevie pizza," he adds, as if he can convince Patrick that his motivation is purely selfless.

Patrick plucks the phone right out of his hand.  "I'll call them," he says. "You remember, how we ordered pizza back in the nineties?  By calling?"

"Ugh, don't remind me."  David leans back against a towering stack of boxes, ignoring Patrick's pained look, and sighs heavily.  "Alright, fine. We might as well get this done. Bedroom first, or kitchen?"

"We can put Stevie on kitchen duty when she gets here," Patrick says.  "Bedroom now." He pauses for a moment, and then smiles slowly, like he can't help it.  "Our bedroom," he says, and David wouldn't generally describe Patrick as a particularly jovial person, but he looks downright giddy.

David honestly can't blame him, feels that a little bit too, at the words.  He's spent a lot of time at Patrick's place, and for the last month or so he's lived there fully, barring his four days in New York with Alexis.  But it was still Patrick's place, no matter how at-home David made himself there.  (Very.)  

This is their place.  David and Patrick's home.  David and Patrick's bedroom.

"Our bedroom," he agrees, and grabs a box, following Patrick down the hall.

Their bedroom is, thus far, more or less a big empty cube.  There's a weird alcove with the window in it that Patrick has been insisting he wants a window seat for, and the master bathroom door is on the wall kitty-corner to the bedroom door.  David has been pleased (thrilled) to note that the whole thing comes with a lovely little walk-in closet; it's not huge, but it's easily three or four times the size of the closet back in Patrick's studio.

The movers brought in Patrick's bed yesterday and set it up against the far wall, and David and Patrick slept on the mattress on the floor at Patrick's place.  "Okay, first things's first," David says, dropping his box in the middle of the floor. Patrick pointedly pushes it against a wall, and David ignores him. "Where are the sheets?  Because we can not sleep on dirty sheets our first night in the new house, Patrick."

"Actually," Patrick says, "about that."  He's barely trying to hide a shit-eating grin, and it makes David immediately wary.

"What," he says heavily.

"Okay, don't be mad," Patrick says, which tells David that he probably should be, "I should have talked to you probably but I wanted it to be a surprise," and he rushes through the words to keep David from interrupting.  "I used all the money my grandparents gave us for our wedding and bought that flax-linen Pottery Barn set you wanted." 

David gasps, because he has wanted that bed set so badly — fair trade linens in gorgeous soft sandy beige — but Patrick has insisted every time David has argued that it's frivolous to spend more than a hundred dollars on sheets.  Their current sheets are from Target.  "Like, the sheets —"

"The whole bed set," Patrick says, looking inordinately pleased with himself.  "The sheets, the duvet and shams — I didn't get the dust ruffle because my bed frame —" But David doesn't get to hear about the dust ruffle because he's quite literally launching himself into Patrick's arms and kissing him. 

Patrick makes a soft, surprised noise, not quite a laugh, and lifts his hands to hold David by the waist.  He pulls back just a little, letting David kiss down his jaw, to say, "So you're not mad?"

"Linen sheets," David mumbles against his Adam's apple.  He pulls back to smile down at Patrick, and Patrick is smiling back, radiant in a way that David never saw him before they got engaged, a way that he's seen more and more since they decided to buy the house.  "Okay," he says, schooling himself, because if they do what he wants to do — which is tackle Patrick onto the bare mattress in their empty bedroom and thoroughly christen the house — then they'll never get to all the things they have to do.  "Well, where are the new sheets, because they have to be washed before we can use them."

Patrick helps David wrestle the new bedding out of its insane packaging, and then builds a little fort in the tiny laundry room out of all the cardboard while David starts a load.  He's relieved every second that the previous owners left their washer and dryer — they're both done with public laundry for the foreseeable future.

They grab another box each to haul into the bedroom on the way back down the hall; the bed and dressers are there already, and a single bookcase.  David has already been in to clean the closet and repaper the shelves in there, and they've agreed that they don't want to paint the bedroom; it came a creamy off-white that feels warm and soft, somehow.

David puts on music — he's made a playlist just for this, full of high-energy, multigenerational pop, Tina and Britney and Mariah all sharing space.  At some point Patrick logged into their shared Spotify — purely an economic choice; David didn't want Patrick's music fucking up his Wrapped, but that's not really worth ten bucks a month — and added Mumford and Sons and Bryan Adams and the Beach Boys, because Patrick has no sense of thematic or genre consistency.  It's fine, he supposes; when you love someone, you're willing to compromise for them.  

"'Framed wall art and photos - bedroom,'" Patrick says out loud, reading off the Sharpie label on a box.  "Maybe we should save this one until we've got the basics together?"

"Okay," David agrees over an infuriatingly long banjo solo.  "This one is your books?" Patrick gestures and David slides it over, watches him produce a knife from his pocket and slice open the top.

By the time Stevie strolls through the door, helpfully using her emergency key, they've mostly got the bedroom together.  The mattress pad and sheets are on, with the duvet set in the dryer, and Patrick's books and David's books are commingled on the shelf, which David is alarmingly pleased by — they're married, but the sight of his Virginia Woolf next to Patrick's Agatha Christie makes him feel warm from the inside out.

"I picked up the pizza," Stevie shouts.  "You owe me forty bucks in reimbursement!"

David skids down the hall, eager for pizza, with Patrick behind him.

"How in the name of god did you spend forty bucks on pizza?"  Patrick wants to know.

Stevie shrugs, hugging him as David relieves her of the boxes.  "I got garlic knots."

"And cheese bread," David says gleefully, spreading the boxes on the table.  "And one of those big cookies."

Patrick sighs after him but dutifully digs three beers out of the fridge.  (They set up all the appliances and TVs yesterday.) (All that's in the fridge so far is beer, a single head of lettuce, and a few bottles of green juice.)  David accepts his beer with minimal distasteful nose-scrunching.

They make short work of lunch, and Patrick sets Stevie up in the kitchen with a roll of shelf paper and more boxes than he'd ever thought he could fill with kitchen stuff; the dishes from his apartment, of course, and then they'd gotten a lot of the classic appliance wedding gifts: a brand new blender, a four-slice toaster ("but what will you use?" David had asked), an upright mixer, a block of knives with marble handles that Patrick is actually thrilled with.

David finishes making the bed, and then he just stands and stares at it for a second; he can't wait for Patrick to have sex with him in these sheets in this bedroom, but he also can't wait for Patrick to cuddle with him in this bed.  Watch movies with him. Hold him close and fall asleep with an arm slung low over his waist.

Patrick comes up behind him and settles warm hands on his hips, and David leans back into the touch.  "Stevie and I want to get started on the living room," Patrick says, hooking his chin over David's shoulder.  "You just about done in here?"

David crosses his arms across his own waist and takes Patrick's hands, swaying.  One of Patrick's songs is playing from David's tiny speaker. I've been so happy loving you, Dennis Wilson croons into the space, less echoey than it was earlier before they got their pictures up.  He looks around at their new room; the receipt from their first date is already on the bookshelf, and there's a framed poster for that first open mic night, and one from Alexis' singles week.  These are all things from Patrick's apartment; all this time, he's been collecting little souvenirs for them. Stepping stones tracing the path of their relationship. There's a framed wedding invitation, too, and photos: from the store opening, Patrick's birthday, their bachelor party, their wedding.

Even after David landed in Schitt's Creek without a paddle, if he'd been asked to describe his future, he would have crafted a life more or less like the one he'd left: galleries and parties, a drugged-out A-list entourage, globetrotting in the wake of Alexis' endless stream of near misses.  He never could have imagined this: a house in a small town, a business heavily patronized by flannel-clad locals, a single friend who loved him enough to help him move. Alexis settled in one place, his parents settled in another, weekly Facetime calls.  

Five gold rings on his fingers, the most beautiful man he's ever seen in Costco jeans, holding him and swaying and singing softly in his ear: "Forever, together my love…"  A sedan that clicks in the driveway, blueprints for a vegetable garden.  All the Ricky-and-Lucy trappings of a good life, things he never would have expected to love.  

"You won," Stevie told him a few months ago, when he brought her here to sit in the driveway and pour out his heart.  And David can hear her clanking dishes together downstairs, and Patrick is warm against his back, and the song is fading out the way that slow seventies rock does, and David knows, bone-deep, unshakeably, that she was right.

[geminimoonbeamx]

Oh, Baby: Chapter One

A/N: Okay so I’ve literally had this in my drafts for the last...six months or so? And I figured I’d tweak it and edit and post it since I’ve been so AWOL on this site lately, and so that I can give you guys some new content from me.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Heavy cursing. This chapter is pretty PG, talks of mental illness, unexpected pregnancy and contemplating abortion- but she doesnt go through with it. Smut to come. AND LOTS OF FLUFF TOO, I promise lol

Summary: After a drunken night, Y/N finds herself having to face the biggest decision of her life; is she ready for motherhood? And a better question, is Bucky Barnes, her long time friend and womanizer extraordinaire, ready for fatherhood? They’ll just have to go along for the ride and find out together. A Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader Story 

Chapter 1/6: The Baby Woe’s and Oh No’s

You knew it.

You’d known something was off, different, changed.

You sit on your toilet, your world spinning as you attempt to wrap your mind around what was going on. Everything seems sludge like, too slow and too fast and not real.

You’re definitely going into shock, you point out to yourself. The catatonic kind. You’ve been staring at the bright, sunny lemon print of the shower curtain, your eyes focused but not seeing. Your elbows rest on your knees and your hands cover the entirety of your lower face.

At least you’re not crying anymore. 

Nope, your body had moved past that-Maybe, it felt like the tears could start rolling again at anytime.

Oh god, what are you going to do?

Why, why, why?

Why you? You’d been a good person- well a decent person at least… You recycled and tipped more than twenty percent. Didnt vote for Trump and ate your vegetables.

And your life was just seeming to even out. You’d somehow landed your dream job a couple months back- every Wednesday night your voice could be heard on WNEX. You we’re making enough money to finally be comfortable- doing what you loved. Gaining a wide audience and wiggling your way into the industry. Your mind was so career oriented, so focused on your end goal that you’d never even considered something like this.

Throwing a big fat wrench in the gears.

One night, it had only been one stupid, drunken night. Hadn't you racked up enough karma coins to cover your ass for one fucking night?

Are you there god? It’s me, Y/N, and I really fucked up this time.

Wanda comes back into the tiled room a few minutes, her dark features soft and a colorful mug in her hand.

“Are you okay?” She gauges, gently, as she reaches out to you.

You snort and shrug, but accept the steaming cup from her anyway. You look down at the swirling, murky drink.

Wishing for just one moment that you could drown yourself in it.

“Look, babe, I know you’re dealing with some major shock right now- but maybe you should go lay down. We’ll figure it out later-” Wanda’s voice is even and you appreciate her being so calm and sure during all of this but you just can't process the situation enough to accept it.

You can't go lay down.

“Why not?” Wanda questions and you didn't realize you’d said that out loud, you hadn't even felt your mouth form the words.

Your head really is swimming. Disconnected from your body a little bit. You force yourself to take a drink of the tea as she gives you a more pointed look.

“Because I have to- I don't know. I have to figure all this out” You protest. You can't hear your voice, how spiked with anxiousness it is.

“There’s not much to figure out” Wanda supplies, unhelpfully as she leans against the counter, arms folded over her chest and you give her a look that’s half between a glare and a gape.

“Um, what the fuck do you mean? There’s so much to figure out, I don't even know where to start” You give a short, sharp, slightly hysterical laugh gripping the mug hard enough to hurt with one hand while cupping your forehead with the other.

“Okay, first things first. And this is the big one: do you want this?”

Well, that whole ‘I'm done crying’ thought you’d had before was a lie. You feel the tears well up once more and overflow, spill down your already swollen cheeks. Your face is hot. Your tummy is full of rocks.

You’d always hated crying. It never made you feel released or freed or lighter like it did for other people. It made you feel icky and stupid. And afterwards it always felt like you’d gotten punched in the nose.

Yes, you did have a therapist to work out those issues with, thanks.

Your mind doesn't know what to do with that question.

You look at Wanda, searching her face as though she might have the answers but she just shook her head and reached out her hand to rub your shoulder. That’s all she could offer. Her support in whatever path you we’re about to embark on.

And then you look down, at the countertop. That was usually littered with stray tubes of mascara or straightening irons. Bobby pins and half lit candles. All the things that resided in the bathrooms of girls in their mid twenties.

In place of those was now four pregnancy tests. All of which read positive.

The first two had been those double lined ones. Two bold lines- both times. Then you’d ran down to the bodega at the end of the block and gotten two more. And those we’re more straight to the point. They literally read the word pregnant- in a font that you don't think you’d ever forget.

Did you want this? Did you want a baby?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I dont know- I’m not ready. The timing is all wrong” You croak.

“Okay” Wanda coo’s “well there's alternatives then-” you squeeze your eyes closed at that thought “Either way we should make a doctors appointment to make sure you’re actually pregnant. I’ve read so many stories about how unreliable these things are”

She holds up one of the tests and rambles on about all of the online articles she’d come across. How some woman had taken a dozen of ‘em, gotten all positive results and then went in and had an empty uterus.

“For one, ew. I peed on that” You nod your head at the test in her hand and she rolls her eyes.

“Other side of it- and I held your hair when you got food poisoning from that shrimp shack. I’ve come into contact with worse body fluids of yours”

“For two- I’m pregnant. I know it. I’ve known it for weeks. I knew something was wrong and I just tried to...think it away, you know? Out of sight, out of mind? I sound insane” saying the words out loud makes you realize how...ludicrous those thoughts had been. But still. It was the truth.

She just nods though “You don't”

There’s a moment of silence. Stretching, as you stew in your reality.

“I’d be doing it alone” you whisper into the mug as you sip on it “I really dont think he’d want a baby”

“You would never be alone, you know that. You have so many people in your life that would support you with this” Wanda protests, sad that you’d even say that.

“You know what I mean” You push on. Because having a good group of friends and family wouldn't change the fact that you were possibly looking at the possibility of being a single mother.

If you decided to keep it, that is.

“Yeah I do- and I don't know if I agree with that. Bucky's a lot of things, an arrogant asshole at that top of that list, but he’s a good guy and I think he’d want to be involved. He doesn't give off deadbeat dad vibes”

All of that was true. Bucky is a good guy, at the core of him.

He was kind and decent and the two of you had been friends for years upon years. He was charming, magnetic and women loved him- you’d found it amusing, before you we’re the one in his bed after a drunken night a month ago.

He’d left your messages mostly on seen since then. You’d only sent a few, but still that had stung. Him icing you out the moment he’d gotten into your pants pissed you off, not only because it was rude but because it was expected.

You knew how Bucky was with women, it had been such an idiot move to sleep with him.

It made it all the more complicated that you ran in the same social circles- had all the same friends. Sam’s small promotion dinner a couple weeks ago had been extremely awkward for you, to say the least.

He’d earned himself the cold shoulder from you and no matter how many times he’d try to broach a conversation with you, crack a joke in your direction, or single you out in a group conversation you pretended he didn't exist.

“Damn, re-jec-ted” It had been so obvious that Clint had of course pointed it out, which was uncomfortable but expected because Clint had no filter like that.

Bucky had stopped trying after that- and started flirting back with the waitress that had been throwing herself at him throughout the night. You cut out early, claiming tiredness. And upset stomach. Whatever to get you out of there.

To say it was a shitty night was a bit of an understatement and you hadn't spoken one word to him since.

“I haven't talked to him since that night- and now I’m what, supposed to call him up and tell him I’m carrying his child because he doesn't properly know how to operate a condom?

“I don't know, yeah? It doesn't mean you two need to get married, but if you choose to keep this baby, that’s going to be a conversation you’re going to have to have” Wanda is so annoying sometimes. She was such a sharp thinking human- always grounded and level headed. She claimed it was from always having to be the “good twin” growing up.

Of course she was rationalizing this whole thing while you we’re floundering about it like a fish.

“I think I should make a doctors appointment” You just mutter. You’d rather focus your attention there. It was easier, cleaner for you. A goal you could actually accomplish.

And so that’s what you did.

//////

They were able to get you in at the end of the week, which in overpopulated New York City was a godsend. And still, it felt like far too long. Like the reality of it couldn't sink in until you talked to a medical professional so you we’re left in some kind of fucked up long until then.

You tried to keep your anxious mind busy, throwing yourself into work. Talking to people over the static airways of the radio about their lives; about the world and all of its workings was so much easier than talking to anyone about what was going on with you.

The only person who knew was Wanda and you’d canceled all of your other plans during the week, not able to face anyone. Not yet.

Lots of sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling. Thinking until your brain physically hurt.

And then you’d turned to you journal- maybe if you wrote everything down it would make sense. If you could see it all, inked out, you could make a decision.

Did you want this child?

Wanda had suggested making a pro’s and con’s list and while it sounded crazy and unhelpful, and you rolled your eyes at it ‘As though that will help’, you ended up doing it anyways.

You start with Cons, naturally. Always had been too damn negative.

Cons:

-I have no fucking idea how to be a mom

-Bucky???

-My job. My career. Who’s going to watch the baby while I work?

-How in the fuck am I going to financially support a baby.

-No room in the apartment/My room is fucking tiny and where will we put a baby

(Wanda said we can turn half of the living room into a playroom/makeshift nursery. How fucked up though? Not even a real nursery)

-No car? A baby on the subway? No thank you.

-Weird to explain to people even if Bucky wants to co-parent. All our friends??

-PAIN

-Pregnancy looks so painful. Birth looks scary. My poor vagine.

-Life is basically over

-The baby will not have a grandmother from your side...

You could keep going on, but you decide to stop there. You could go on, make the list pages and pages long but you decide against it.

Pros:

-I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Always dreamed of babies and motherhood, baby fever crashes over me in waves.

-Me and Bucky’s baby is going to be cute AF(and that just pure facts)

-I have a great support system- amazing friends and family who I know will help

-Bucky could want to be involved. He probably will...maybe?

-He has a big family, i think. The baby would have lots of family

-I don't want to have an abortion. All about pro-choice, but I just...don't know if I can.

That had made you bite the end of your pen.

Adoption?

Could you give a child that you went through nine months of pregnancy up for adoption? Knowing yourself- probably not. You cant even get rid of the moth hole ridden clothes at the back of your closet. Not comparing a baby to a jean jacket- fuck, see how unequipped you were for this?

-I’d be a good mom(I think)

-I could swing it financially. Maybe get a second job

-At least I have a good insurance plan now

-My life might have more of a purpose?

You hide the lists away in one of your many journals. Stick it in the wicker basket under your night stand- and revisit it too many times in those days between.

You make a lot of other lists in that time, too. 

//////

One of them sits tucked in your purse as you make your way to the eighth floor- Arms folded across your chest and the inside of your bottom lip speared between your teeth as the elevator takes you up.

Wanda stands beside you, of course. Sipping on her iced americano. You’d tried to tell her that she didn't need to come, that you were perfectly okay with going on your own. You’d gotten about two words out before she shut you down-

“I already took the afternoon off, don't be ridiculous”

You both know you wouldn't admit it, stubborn as you we’re, but you’d let out a big sigh of relief. You really didn't want to do this alone.

The waiting room is standard for this building, looks similar to the one that you sit in when you see your GP- save for a sign hanging about the door that labels it the OB-GYN.

Fake plants and those standard waiting room chairs that had that weird diagonal print on them TV’s that we’re playing the local news and tables stacked with months dated magazines. There was no windows though and it made the back of your neck feel hot.

The receptionists is nice. Middle aged with mild with droning, mellow voice. She checks you in fast and efficiently and tells you that you’ve got about a 15 minute wait on your hands.

Annoying, you think even though you give her a big grin and a sweet ‘thank you’. You’d been right on time. Why in all offices of all kinds is there always a fucking wait?

Wanda has plopped down on a chair in the corner and is fingering through an issue of LIFE, her long legs crossed at the knee. you sit next to her. The office air conditioner is blasting, it had been a muggy May in the city, but you feel overheated. You let the chunky cardigan you’d donned slip down one shoulder, exposing your skin to the chilly air.

You should feel the cold but you’re over heated. Nervous as hell. Why doesnt anyone else in this office seem nervous?

You tend to people watch when you get overly anxious like you are now. Tend to take in every little detail of every little thing around you.

There’s a black couple- the woman doesn't look pregnant but they’re holding hands tightly and they keep whispering to each other. He smiles and nudges her shoulder with his. Then there’s a Latina woman who looks just about ready to pop and is reading one of the kids book to a little boy with her eyes. A white lady, with twin carriers rocks them gently as she chats with a woman who looked to be related to her, maybe. Older and graying.

You feel like a creep but you can't stop looking at them all. Staring at each of the people who are at different stages of the same  life-path you found yourself on.

Wanda clicks her tongue as her dark eyes focus on the magazine. Muttering, her accent thick, about how the lenses they used for the shoot on the page was all wrong.

Her photographers eye was snobby and elitist.

“Y/N?” The nurse calls you back, not butchering your name which is nice and look over at your best friend.

“Are you sure you don't want me to come back with you?” Wanda whispers, big gingerbread eyes searching yours and you shake your head quickly.

You had to do this, on your own. What if...what if you ended up having to do this whole thing alone? You had to be grown, had to face this solo. That’s just how you felt, even if it might not be true.

“It’s just another appointment- I can do it on my own. I’ll live” there's a reasoning lilt in your voice that she doesn't quite buy but she nods all the same. Tells you that she’ll be waiting right there for you as you muster up all your courage and train your face into a smile, following the nurse into the back offices, the door mechanically closing behind the two of you.

The OB’s office is...warmer then you’d thought it would be. Her desk has frames of all types and her walls are plastered with colorful posters, making the alabaster of the wallpaper less daunting. There was even a window in here.

You’re perched up on the exam table/ chair thingy, staring out at the tall buildings across the street, at the people moving fast below on the sidewalks. You wonder what all of them are doing? How many of the have kids?...

When there’s a soft knock at the door your attention snaps back to the present.

Doctor Helen Cho is a petite Asian woman. She has glossy dark hair that's tied up in a clip high on the  back of her head, and her voice is friendly and her expression open as introduces herself to you and reaches out to shake your hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you, too” You sound so much surer and more confident then you feel. It had always been your party trick- meeting new people and being able to talk to them. Leaving trails of barley there acquaintances in your wake.

“So it says here that you think you’re pregnant, yes?” She gets right to it, and your appreciative for it.

“Yeah, I know I am.  I took four tests and they all came out positive and I...I feel really off” you try to explain it, poorly but she seems to understand.

“When you say off, do you mean like bad feeling off or?” She probes as she sits at her desk, swivels her chair to face you. Her chocolate almond eyes weren't piercing or clinical, just waiting.

“Not really bad? But I’ve just been so tired lately and I’ve had like, zero appetite. And my breasts have been so sensitive that it hurts to put on a bra” as you tell here these things you could slap your head for not assuming you were pregnant before you’d taken the tests.

Dr. Cho hums and nods as she looks over her tablet “Well from the look of these results from those blood and urine tests your nurse went ahead and gave you when you came in, I can tell you that you are definitely about nine weeks pregnant- so those symptoms are right on with where you are”

You inhale and exhale, bigly. It’s real. It’s been real, was a notion, a happening but now...it’s so freaking real.

And there's a real life changing decision to be made-

That you’d already made before you’d even walked into this office but now seemed even clearer. Crystal, in that moment of clarity.

“I want to keep it” Your confident as you say it. Your voice cracks with some kind of emotion you couldn't even begin to explain, but you’re confident. You’re sure.

Dr. Cho grins at you, and stands, congratulating you then, after she’s sure you even want a congratulations. You like her, think you might.

It’s hard to focus on her voice though because all your mind can think of is the next big obstacle, the next big step in all of this.

How were you going to tell Bucky?

Okay guys? I posted? Crazy right? lol give me some feedback! Comment and tell me what you thought of this. I absolutely love interacting with you guys, but I’m sure ya’ll know that. 

Also- the taglist for this story is still OPEN, so if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters just ask!

@peacefulwriter88 @jaamesbbarnes @jalapenobarnes @brieannakeogh @gifsbysimplysonia @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @plumfondler @tatathekissypotato @siren-kitten-his @skishenanigans @geekyweed @spidey-babe-parker @lastfallenstar @rachelle-on-the-run @prettybubblesintheair @dani-si 

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 57:Travails of Royalty

Chapters: 57/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: none Relationships: Loki x Reader (There We Go) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor(Marvel), Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), In Which Thor Has Regrets, Loki Tries To Be A Good Brother In The Harshest Way, Sometimes One Has To Point Out Painful Truths And Loki Has Done That Before

Summary:  Beneath the crown there sits a man, with the heart of a man, and the fears, determination, and regrets of a man. The measure of the man is the measure of the king. Thor Odinson knows this, and still worries that he measures poorly.

Loki stormed back into the main banquet hall, ready to give the annoying little twit a piece of his mind, but Thor had already intervened, detaining Gloa and lecturing her fiercely. Most of the Asgardian nobles had vacated the hall by now; those that remained were not among Gloas friends. They watched smugly as the Allfather himself had to take her into hand, and Loki knew she would be prodded about this for some time.

You had fallen back into a little knot of Avengers; Loki could see your hat among them. He headed to you first.

“Are you harmed, my dear?” He asked. Gloa was not a warrior, but she was still Asgardian. If she struck you, it could hurt you very badly.

“No, I'm just super mad!” You snarled. “I don't know where she gets off-did you know she doesn't even have a job? Andsvarr's a noble, and he has a job! He does something useful, instead of just sitting around and leeching off everyone else like a fucking parasite!” You raised your voice on that last part, and Gloa looked away from Thor to glare at you, even though she could not understand your words.

“Loki...Loki.” You clutched at his robe. “I need to go stab something. Can I head to the training area for a little while?”

“Oh. Yes, of course. Please do, go vent your frustrations on something that is not a subject of mine, whom I am obligated to protect, despite how vile I personally find them to be.”

“Didn't you chop off a guys hand?” Natasha asked. “I'm sure I heard that somewhere.”

Loki turned away, nose in the air. “He broke the law.”

“The law of Dont Fuck With Loki's Main Squeeze?” Bucky asked.

“Yes. Now get her out of here before someone else tries anything.”

                                                                          *****

You strode through he halls with Natasha, Mr. Barnes, Steve, and Mr. Rhodes at your sides, You could only imagine what you must look like to those you were passing; A storm on your face, and the king's friends for an escort. But room was made for you in the general training area.

“Okay, come on kiddo.” Mr. Rhodes said. “Show us how it's done in Asgard.”

You showed them all your knife, explained what it was, where it had come from, and how you'd gotten it. Natasha nodded slowly at the explanation.

“Yeah, sounds appropriate that you should have it.”

“I've been training with the Valkyries, and with Loki when I can.” You said. “Got a long way to go though.”

You showed them your drills, how you took on the training dummy, how you compensated for your smaller-than-Asgardian size. Your entourage watched as you went, ignoring the stares from the other trainees. They were probably used to stares, and even you were beginning to become numb to them.

“...So...” You panted, coming to a halt. “That's basically what I know...Haven't had to actually use any of this though...”

“That's probably a good thing, kid.” Mr. Rhodes said. “Did they teach you to just rush in like that, or is it because you're mad?”

“Huh?”

“What he's saying is that this style is...very Asgardian. Even the way Loki fights is very Asgardian.” Natasha said. “Meaning that, while he does add a bit of misdirection to it, he still fights like an Asgardian. Fast, hard, and very aggressive. That might not be the best technique for you, though. You don't have the same kind of physical power and durability. What you do have, is the element of surprise. Would you let me show you how to use it?”

Personal training with an Avenger? You leapt at the opportunity.

“She's gonna regret that.” Mr Rhodes said.

“Gonna regret it.” Steve echoed.

“I'm not.” Mr. Barnes said. “I get to watch.”

“You get to participate. Get over here and prepare your insteps for pain.” Natasha commanded.

Mr. Barnes approached, sighing in defeat as the others jeered at him.

                                                                         *****

“We can't just imprison people for saying things, Loki.” Thor insisted. “We'd run out of room in a day.”

“A public flogging then!” Loki said hotly.

“Loki!”

“I am beyond done with that little twit, Thor! She's been like this for centuries, but she's been crossing greater and greater lines lately. We've seen what happens when we allow these things to escalate. _____ has seen what happens, and it landed her in the healing wing with a broken face! I'll not risk it again!”

“Do we make insults illegal then? How will you keep yourself from prison, were that the case?”

Loki glared. Of course he knew he was powerless in this. What Gloa did was wrong and petty, but not illegal.

That was all too familiar.

“I understand your ire, brother. The things some of Jane's peers would say about her...and just because she was a woman and in an experimental science...it still raises my fury. But the best thing you can do for her is stand by her. Your mortal is resilient, but you can be the mighty oak on which she leans when she is weary.”

Loki liked that image. Of being strong, and steady for you. The powerful mast and billowing sails of the ship that carried you on your life's journey. The cloak around your shoulders that kept you warm when the winds of life threatened to chill you. The-

“We can forbid Gloa from talking to her.” Thor said, interrupting Loki's dreamy reverie. “But I wonder what precedent that will set. It would probably look like you were just throwing a tantrum right back at her.”

“Surely I'm not that unbecoming.”

Thor shrugged. “Not all the time.” He teased.

“I can be worse.” Loki mock-threatened.

“I know.” Thor said. “But could you put off your worseness for a few years? Just until we get a few more buildings up?”

“I'll think about it.” They both chuckled. “I'm not just going to let this go, though. Alarr has seemed quiet for now, but those who agree with him are not so restrained. You've been having to deal with them yourself, haven't you?”

Thor sighed, a long gust of exasperation. “I didn't want to bring it up. I didn't want to distress you, or her. Gloa isn't the only one, she's just the most directly vocal about it. There are several of the highest noble families that have made her the symbol of their opposition to human assimilation. Several have made attempts to trick me into passing legislation that will limit or harm her, and any other humans within our borders. Some of it was so broadly worded that it could have been used against our Vanir citizens, or even those whose ancestors intermarried.

You know, I realize that I have been irresponsible in the past, but I'm not sure why they all think I didn't get the same education they did. Do I truly seem like there is nothing but air between my ears?” He caught the twinkle in his brother's eye. “Don't answer that.”

“I believe the greater problem is that they cannot fathom the change that has come upon us, so they are pushing back without much thought as to how it might effect even other Asgardians.” Loki said, then shrugged. “That's if I'm being generous. Long-standing prejudices are not unfamiliar to Asgard. The high families may be taking this chaos as a chance to rearrange Asgard to their liking. I've heard of humans doing this many times. They call it an 'ethnic cleansing'.”

Thor shuddered. “I won't allow it.”

“I know.” Loki said. “But they will continue trying, nonetheless.”

They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, wrapped up in the challenge laid out for their future.

“I have other bad news...” Loki said, then shook his head. “No, more like...potentially uncomfortable news.”

“Ugh, lay it out.” Thor said.

“The Vision tells me that he has been sensing occasional disturbances that might be someone utilizing the power of one or more of the Stones.”

Thor shook off the malaise of the previous conversation instantly.

“What does he mean? What did he tell you?”

“Very little. Mostly that his connection with his stone is making him aware of vague fluctuations in the power of the stones. We have attempted to narrow it down: Space and Time are secure, and have not been used recently, Mind is secure, and has not been used...that Vision is aware of. I do not personally believe that your pirate friends currently have the capability to use the Power stone between them, but if you can contact them, perhaps you should. The specter on Vormir has not contacted anyone, but perhaps one of us should speak with Miss Romanoff about it.”

“Oh no.” Thor said.

“However, that leaves only one.”

“Oh no.”

“Therefore, we need to contact Dr. Foster.”

“Oh no. No, I can't. I can't do that, you know I can't do that.”

“I know, but we are still going to have to do it.”

Thor drooped. “I told her I would leave her alone.”

“And was she happy about it?”

“She wasn't happy about anything. I destroyed her life.”

“I disagree.”

“I dragged her back in to all of this!”

“She flung herself into this of her own accord.”

“How can you say that?”

“Years ago, she saw a cosmic anomaly out in the desert, and drove towards it with such joyous abandon that she ran you over with her vehicle. Years later, she stuck her hand into a glowing void, heedless of what might be there. Years after that, she enthusiastically threw herself back into the battle for cosmic safety, and she would have done so even if you had not asked. You think you 'lured her into danger' or 'tricked her into coming into contact with the Aether again', but it had already chosen her. Her very personality guaranteed that this would be her fate, with or without you. This is less about you than you think.”

Thor grumbled unintelligibly. Loki knew he'd thought about these things before but didn't want to accept them. No one wanted to accept that they might not be the most important thing in a loved one's life; he certainly didn't. But that was how it had always been between Thor and Jane, to Loki's eyes at least. She just wasn't the type to mope about men, not when there were cosmic mysteries to pick apart.

“In any case, I am going to contact her. You are free to skulk about and hide if you wish. You are the king, after all.” Loki continued.

“All right, all right, stay your stinging tongue. Perhaps I have misplaced my backbone, when it comes to her. It's just that I adore her still...” Thor sulked.

“And you are not used to being scorned.” Loki pointed out.

“I'm already down, must you keep kicking?”

“Oh dry up, brother. Stand tall instead of wallowing in assumed guilt, and she may even talk to you again.”

“Do you think so?”

Loki rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “I'm going to go find _____, and get into contact with Dr. Foster. If you will not extend a formal invitation to her, then I shall.”

                                                                               *****

“I didn't even know elbows could bend that way.” You mused.

“They can't!” Mr. Barnes griped. “Go easy dollface, I've only got one good one left!”

“And what do we do when our opponent tries to solicit sympathy from us?” Natasha asked.

“We go harder!” You exclaimed enthusiastically. Mr. Barnes groaned.

You knew he was just putting on a show. He was at least as tough as Steve, but he worked well as a foil for Natasha's teaching, not making things easy on you, but not making them impossible either. If you did it right, the things she taught you worked, so you knew for sure when you were nailing a new technique.

You'd been going for some time, and you were simultaneously energized, and worn out. These exercises were very different from the ones you had been performing, working different muscles, forcing you into a different headspace. They were very good-natured about your inexperience. It wasn't that your Asgardian tutors weren't patient with you, but they didn't show the same camaraderie.

Still you were flagging, your initial anger long since waned. Gloa could go step on a Lego, for all that you cared, but you probably should bring up with Loki that almost-threat she'd made.

Funerary boat? What did that mean? Was that what Adgardian funerals were like? How did Asgardians address death, anyway? Surely they couldn't have made graveyards! You had seen Loki's projection of Asgard: it was tiny, far too small for graveyards, even for the long-lived Asgardians.

You really needed to ask Loki about Asgardian customs surrounding death. As a Seidkona, and Loki's Seidkona specifically, you might be required to be present or even participate in a funeral, if any Asgardian actually died during your relatively short lifespan.

A glint of light caught your attention, and a dozen things rushed through your head in less than a second.

A knife! Gloa had threatened you. There were assassins within Asgard. You did not want to get stabbed again, not for anything. You had magic. Practically the instant you saw the gleam, you had turned the object back on the person who had thrown it.

It bounced off Steve Rogers chest and clattered to the ground.  

[cha-lyn]

interrupted affection

This is my first fan-fiction, open to kind constructive advice- dont be a dick.

There will be more chapters.. smut later

Chapter 1

 Bucky Barnes x Reader  

(Reader is described as a black female, bc I write what I am)

Warnings: kissin’, flirtin’ 

Words: 1,066 

Summary: Y/N is Wakandan, just returning from a mission as a War Dog. Set a little while after Bucky wakes up from cryo-sleep. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were about to discover one of Wakanda’s best kept secrets. 

You had just returned from a mission in the States and you made your way down to the fantastic labs of Princess Shuri. She’d promised to show you the newest upgrades in your Kimoyo beads upon your return. In hindsight, you could have called her to tell her you were coming. You didn’t though. As a result, you walked in on a massive, shirtless vibranium armed super soldier. You recognized him immediately: James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier. Former assassin.

He was praising the brilliant scientist, “...really is amazing Shuri. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Oh hush, White Wolf. A couple more tests and then I’ll let you go back to the fields to play with your goats,” Shuri held her beads up to scan over the man’s arm, as he chuckled. “Ok, Bucky it looks good.” 

“I coulda told you that. It’s incredible, really.” Bucky got up and stretched his arms, flexing the muscles in his flesh arm as he did, a sight you did not mind. 

“Y/N! Finally! I wondered when you’d be coming by,” Shuri rushed forward to hug you, her usual energetic self. “You’ve been gone so long! This is our White Wolf.” She waved at the man, who now suddenly and most unfortunately, had a shirt on. 

“Bucky.” He smiled and stuck his hand out. You shook it firmly. 

Shuri bombarded you with questions. “Y/N, give me your beads. How was your mission? Where were you?”

“It was fine. I was in San Diego.” You turned back to Bucky, looking very skeptical in your thick Wakandan accent, “Aren’t you a brainwashed assassin?” 

  He looked at the floor, but it was Shuri that answered, a little more stern than usual, “That isn’t him anymore Y/N. I fixed his brain.” She grinned at the last part, her cockiness coming back. Bucky thanked the princess again and gave you a nod goodbye as he slipped out. 

“He’s… cute,” you noted. Shuri’s eyes got wide before she burst out laughing. 

Shuri chatted with you as she worked on your beads. “Yes, Y/N. You’ll like him. White Wolf is a very smart and kind man. T’Challa said the village children seek him out to chase him and his goats around the fields. He’s even learned some Xhousa.” 

+

One thing that you loved to do in your home country was run. You ran the fields and the trails and the mountains whenever you had the chance. This particular morning, you went to run down and around your favorite lake. You get up before sunrise so that you could watch it from you favorite rock by that lake. Running the trail was familiar to you, almost like you hadn’t been gone for almost a year. San Diego was great, but it was nowhere near as lush as Wakanda. And it wasn’t home. You made it to the lake and jogged to you rock. Only to find it occupied by none other than the White Wolf himself. 

By the looks of it, Bucky heard you coming and turned around to face you.

“This is my rock, White Wolf.” Your hands landed on your hips as you stared him down. He got up to leave, but you stopped him as you laughed and waved at him to stay, “It’s a good thing I can share.” 

  He made room for you on the rock, trying to figure you out. 

“So, White Wolf, if you’ve been ‘fixed’ why aren’t you back in the States with your Avenger friends?” 

Bucky was surprised by your bluntness. “Uh, mostly because I’m still wanted there.” You laughed, a hearty laugh that made Bucky’s heart quicken and his ears go pink. “Very few people outside of this country know that I’m here.” The sun was barely peeking over the horizon now, lighting the sky ablaze. You sighed a content sigh, so happy to be back home. You glance over at Bucky. He was wearing a blue shirt with cutoff sleeves and dark brown pants, his long hair pulled back into a low bun. Shuri had told you that he worked primarily in the fields, herding and doing farm things. His physique was proof of that. You could smell him, too. He smelled like earth and mangoes. You weren’t really aware that you were staring until he tried--unsuccessfully--to mask his laugh with a cough. You averted your eyes to the sunrise appreciating the silence. 

“Beautiful,” Bucky whispered.

“Yeah, it is isn’t it? Is it like this in Brooklyn?” Bucky didn’t respond right away so you glanced over at him. He wasn’t looking at the magnificent horizon. 

He was looking at you. Your breath caught. His eyes bore into yours. 

“I wasn’t talking about the sunrise.” His voice was barely a whisper. Your mind was working slow and you didn’t have time to come up with a sassy rebuttal before his lips found yours. You didn't kiss him back right away, frozen in surprise. It was about two seconds before your lips caught up with your brain and you began to kiss him back. Relishing in the moment as his hand went to your cheek, pulling you closer. You hand found itself on his stubbly jaw, then it moved down to his solid chest. At some point, the two of you came up for air, breaking the kiss. Your eyes must of been as wide as dinner plates because Bucky’s brow furrowed. “Y/N?” His hand was still on your cheek. 

“Yeah, I… That was...,” you gulped. Bucky chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, the hand that was on your face. Your cheek was cold suddenly and it felt like ice water had been splashed in your face. “Umm. I have to go.” You slowly pushed up off the rock. Your brain still felt warm and confused. 

Bucky frowned noticing that you’re uncomfortable, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just bombarded your mouth like that.” He got up, too, scratching his head and kicking himself inside. 

“No!” You said loudly, making him flinch a little. Realizing you sound like a jerk and he might have understood you wrong, you rephrased. “I mean, no, it’s--it was a great kiss. Really great actually. I just have to go get ready for breakfast.” 

“I’ll see you around then Y/N.” He smiled as you jogged off.

[cordytriestowrite]

Keeping Up Appearances

Bucky x Reader

Fake Dating AU

Chapter 3 - All Other Parts

Summary: When an old friend comes back into your life you struggle to maintain the lies you've told. Bucky Barnes has no idea what he's gotten into by agreeing to be your fake boyfriend, but you have no idea what to do about the very real feelings you have for him.

Back again in the relative safety of Bucky's car you let out the breath you had been holding since leaving La Bernardin with Bucky, hand in sweaty hand.

"Holy fuck." You cried burying your face in your hands. You voice echoed through the parking garage, its range extended by the open driver's side door. Bucky had yet to enter the car, a worn leather jacket he had pulled from the back seat sitting in his place. The blue button up came sailing into the car, settling in a wrinkly ball on the center console. The arm of the shirt landed on your leg and you reached out to touch the fabric unthinkingly. The leather jacket disappeared and the seat was filled by a now jacketed Bucky.

"Hey, look at me." Bucky called in a gentle, calming voice. You turned your head without bothering to hide your distress. He pulled a half smile that stole your heartbeat for a few skips.

"Its all over. You survived." He whispered in the same calm and gentle voice. You scoffed and turned your head to face the windshield and the blank, concrete wall just beyond the car.

"I don't know." You said lowly. You knew it wasn't over, because when Pepper was standing with you, smiling and laughing and sharing her joy, you felt like you used to. You didn't want that feeling to end but there is no way in hell you'd survive this.

But how you used to feel...well that feeling existed because you could afford it. Now, you were making dumb, costly decisions with long term effects, and dragging Bucky along from the ride.

Bucky tried to meet your eye, but you were steadfast in your staring contest with the wall ahead. You couldn't look at him, couldn't admit you fucked up. Your eyes flicked to his hand as it reached toward you but stopped just short of your thigh to encircle the gear shift and put the car in reverse.

"I don't know about you but I am hungry for some real food." He said in a purposely lighter and louder voice. You nodded absently.

"Look, no offense, but oysters taste like snot."

You weren't offended, you thought they tasted like snot too.

-

A large pizza, fresh and hot, sat upon your lap. It smelled divine and you couldn't wait to get home, get out of your dress and into some sweats, and head over to Bucky's and Sam's and eat this giant, greasy pizza. You wanted to hear about Sam's date. You hoped your friend had a better time than you did. As if Sam knew you were thinking of him, his name appeared on Bucky's phone, which lay atop the pizza box in your lap.

"You got a text from Sam." You told him and he distractedly picked it up. He read the message at a stop sign, only taking a couple seconds to take in the contents and let his face fall into a slight frown.

"That bastard kicked me out of my own place!" Bucky exclaimed, dropping the phone back onto the box. You smirked at the dark screen. Sam's date must be going really well.

"Looks like you're sleeping in the hall tonight." You teased.

"Nah, I'll just stay at my girlfriend's for the night." He countered. It sent a jolt of panic through your chest, thinking he had a girlfriend you didn't know about, but just as quickly as your body tingled with nerves had they settled into bashfulness at the realization that he meant you. You were the girlfriend he was talking about. He intended to stay the night with you.

"Yeah, yeah of course you can." You managed to stutter out. He turned into the garage under your apartment building and suddenly let out a laugh, like he just remembered a joke.

"I'm gonna finally see what you were hanging up on your wall. It is the reason we are together after all. Better be a Monet or some shit." He winked, a brief and blurry vision in the darkness of the underground car park.

Bucky had never been in your apartment, you always going to Sam and his instead, so when he walked in behind you carrying the pizza you were nervous. You had manage to salvage a few pieces of decor and furniture from when you lived in Manhattan; a nice large L shaped couch, your bed frame, and an ornate, gold-framed full length mirror. All the other items in your apartment where either provided by the building manager or purchased from consignment shops. It was an eclectic mix of quality and convenience.

Whatever comment you thought Bucky would make was not spoken out loud. He simply parked himself on the couch like he owned the place and opened the pizza box. Without waiting for you to grab plates he dug into a hot and greasy slice of pepperoni pizza. He moaned loudly as the taste flooded his mouth. The sound sent a shiver down your spine and you busied yourself with gathering plates and napkins until your face felt less heated.

"This pizza is way better than any other food we had tonight." He said as you settled in on the other side of the couch. You nodded in agreement.

"Cheaper too." You added offhandedly. You wouldnt have said it if you had known it was bring you into a discussion you didnt want to be having with the fake boyfriend you had a very real crush on.

"So how did you get yourself into this mess? To me it seems like you used to be loaded like them and now you're not but you dont want her to know?" Bucky's finger moved between invisible points in the air between you as if he was connecting the dots to a larger picture.

"That's basically it yeah." You admitted. You had no intention of telling him more than you had to. You ate your pizza slowly, it was good but the taste in your mouth was dampened by anxiety.

"But how does she not know?" He asked incredulously.

"She's been traveling all over the world since college. We've only communicated through letters and they were very infrequent. Only one or two a month."

"Does she not have Facebook? Instagram?"

"She does," you leaned back against the couch, chewing thoughtfully as you reminisced on the days leading up to her departure. "She said she wanted to be pen pals while she was gone. She thought it would be more exciting to anticipate a letter than an email. Pepper is the kind of friend who will create something special just for you and make you feel like you mean something. She wanted to write letters, they meant something to her. And to me." You realized with a slight bitterness that now that Pepper was back that special connection would be gone.

"If your friendship is so special why hide things from her? Why lie? I dont get it." Bucky's voice broke into your head and along with bitterness you felt a pinch of guilt.

"I'm in too deep now. I've been lying for months. About my living situation, my job, my family-"

"Your boyfriend." Bucky interjected, his tone accusatory though his expression was nothing but playful. You nodded and leaned forward to drop your pizza crust onto a chipped blue plate before sinking back into the couch.

Bucky put down his slice as well and closed the distance between you. You tensed as he invaded your space, his shoulder pressed against yours heavily as he leaned into you.

"Ya know, she's probably going to be using social media more. Might not hurt to take some pictures together. Just to really sell it?" He asked it like he wasnt sure you would see his reasoning and you were doubtful, suspicious even.

"You're willing to do that for me? What about other people? What if you actually like someone and they think you're with me?"

He shrugged and pulled out his phone pressing his thumb to the camera icon. You took in the image of your two faces. You were close but not boyfriend girlfriend close. You angled your head closer and tried to smile naturally but it was obviously strained.

"No, no come on my ma's gonna see this you gotta look like you dont hate me." He laughed, staring into the phone instead of your face. You shoved him and pulled your head away to look at him.

"I don't hate you." You said in your defense, "I just dont think we look-"

"Like a couple?" He finished. He was really good at finished your thoughts.

"Here." He said and shifted into the middle of the sofa. Once he was settled he all but dragged you onto his lap. You felt like a ragdoll in the way you let him maneuver you, but when he pulled up his phone again you could not be upset at his manhandling. You two looked cute. You looked like a couple. You smiled, a small, shy smile and Bucky hit the big white button to capture your image.

"Better. Right babe?"

You smiled wider and another photo was taken. His free hand dug into your side and you laughed and the button was pressed again. His lips pressed against yours, only a peck, enough to produce one more photo. You sat frozen on Bucky's lap as he brought the phone close to his face and scrutinized the images. His hand rested warmly on your hip and occasionally his thumb rubbed back and forth.

"I like this one." He finally declared, showing you the screen. It was the one where he tickled you unexpectedly. Your head was thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open in laughter. Bucky was looking up at you, the corners of he eyes crinkled in delight as he smiled widely, and there was a crinkle in his nose. You bit your lip to suppress a smile.

"I like it to." You whispered, moving your finger over the screen to glance at the other photos. You wanted to see all of them but you mostly wanted to see the kiss, to make sure you didnt imagine his lips on yours. The proof was there, clear as day, but you didn't linger too long on the photo. You were afraid of what Bucky would think, if he would regret kissing you because you were being weird about it.

"I'll send these to you. We need to post a few online."

-

It was hours later as you lie in bed that you had a chance to really take in all the pictures Bucky had sent. You drank in each image, zooming in and out on your face, then Bucky's. Bucky was right, the laughing photo was definitely the best. It seemed natural and fun. But your favorite was the one where he kissed you, because he had kissed you! Your mouths were off center and the muscles in your neck were too tense. His eyes were scrunched tight too. It was a really terrible picture.

You locked your phone and plunged yourself into darkness as a creaking sound emerged in the silence. Bucky was spending the night on your couch, his attempt to persuade you to let him join you in your bed had failed almost immediately as nerves overcame you. You thought if he had been there in bed, all warm and hard against you on your queen sized mattress, that you would not be able to sleep a wink. Your instincts were right; you weren't able to sleep now with the man crashing in your living room, how could you have handled him in your bed?

The bedroom door opened slowly, bathing your dark space in light. You squinted against the sudden brightness, attempting to make out Bucky's expression but he was silhouetted in shadow.

"Its late enough. I think I can sneak into my own apartment."

You nodded and sat up, but Bucky was already beyond your doorway. You turned the corner into your living room just in time to glance his backside as he closed you front door gently behind him. He didnt turn back, didnt even say goodbye. You locked the door with a dejected sigh, suddenly feeling like your apartment was dark and cold without Bucky's bright, warm presence. You shuffled your way back to your bed. It took a minute to get settled but once you were snuggled in the blankets you pulled up your phone again, swiping through the images of you and Bucky. Somehow these moments already felt so long ago.

Knock knock knock

A gentle rasp of knuckles on drywall near your head stole your attention. You smiled and bit your lip, bringing your clenched fist to the spot where you heard the knocks.

Knock knock knock

He knocked back twice more. Your face was split wide in a grin as you posted a couple photos of you and Bucky to Facebook. You decided to keep the picture of your first kiss with Bucky to yourself for now.

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[boneybabbles]

A book I will never write: Project 1

The air smelled of ale, greasy burgers, overcooked onion rings, and fumes. The thin, swinging wooden doors that led straight to the tavern next door did not keep out the rowdy noise of the crowd within. As glass shattered, shouts got louder, and the sound of bone on bone drifted from beyond the doors and thin walls, Andromeda looked out of the grimy window at the cloudless, dark purple sky. In all the hours she had been stuck in this stuffy, stinky store, kept away from the gorgeous open sky; there had only been one customer. 

A too chirpy vacationing couple that used this rotting store as a quick pit stop.

 “Have you ever taken the summer to roadtrip to all the planets?” they said.  

“Do you know if any of the Great Attractions are good along the way?” Inquired the tall male with a spiked hair and the common opalescent skin. 

The female next to him, equally tall but instead with rough, red skin and black rope like hair had the gall to ask 

“What kind of girl is stuck here for the summer, instead of being out with her friends?”. Andromeda begrudgingly replied politely to all their questions as they paid for their snacks, drinks, and a map. Even though all she wanted to do was snap back at them, she had a paycheck that she desperately wanted. 

Once the couple climbed into their rounded ship and glided away, there had been not a soul since. Unless you count the usual brutes in the tavern as customers.

Andromeda sighed what was probably the longest and heaviest sigh in history. The sigh was so long that by the end of it, her lungs burned and she might as well have been spitting fire. She turned from the pathetic and grimy window to the clock that sat above the squeaky glass door. Tick.. Tick… Tick…. The seconds seemed to taunt her, letting her know she still had two miserable hours left of her horrid shift in this disgusting fuel-stop shop. Andromeda would much rather spend these slow hours at home with Horus. 

She looked around the small, cluttered, dusty, repulsive fuel-stop store. It's a wonder this place is still open she thought while she leaned onto the front counter. The cluttered aisles were pushed too close together. The floor was more dirt, grime and gods knows what than actual flooring. And usually dead rodents could be found in the corners around the store!

 The only source of income were the nasty freighters that stopped by once or twice a week depending on their shipping routes. The freighters were more strongly built beasts, then civilized beings. They all smelled, they all had dirty, foul mouths (not that Andromeda was much better) and she doubted any of them knew what manners even were. Still, they mostly only came for the tavern next door and the freighter parking where they could park to get a few hours of sleep before they were off again. 

At last, Andromeda’s shift was over! She was already out the door before the next employee even crossed the nasty store’s threshold. She ran for where her hoverboard was tucked behind the back of the store, a long sleek oval of metal that could zoom a few feet above the ground because of Aristaeus strong magnetic core. Without hesitation Andromeda jumped on her board and zoomed out of the lot, the desert terrain of the planet's surface whizzing under her as she raced home under the forever purple sky. 

The ride home was filled with wind, dust, and the endless starway beneath her. As soon as Andromeda glided into the sandy grounds of her family's home, she ditched her board near the stucco house and ran straight for the matching barn. 

The barn had a feed room, tack room, a loft, and ten stalls. Only seven used for mytaugh. Mytaugh were horse like creatures that might be the outcome if someone were to mix a draft horse with a plant that sprouted from starlight. They were beautiful creatures that came in infinite colors and patterns with personalities just as unique. Mytaugh are esteemed beings because they choose only one person to bond and ride with forever. It is an honor to be chosen by a mytaugh. 

When Andromeda reached the plain rock barn, she went straight to Horus. He whipped his large powerful head around and let out a small, happy screech when the oblivious mytaugh finally realized his person was home. 

Andromeda slipped into Horus's stall and began petting the large mytaugh. The two were complete opposites. Night and day, dusk and dawn, water and fire, air and earth. 

Horus was tall with a dark blue coat, so dark it was almost black. He had small specks of lilac on his rump and sock-like markings on his ankle in the same light shade. He was built more like his ancient ancestors, the stocky draft horse, than the wispy, dainty, lithe creatures they were mixed with. Andromeda, on the other hand, was short with light skin. She was so short, she often had to look up at everyone even though she was fully grown, just like them. She had an extremely light opalescent skin shade that was light even for Aristaeus’ standards. Furthermore, she had no interesting markings or traits. And her build was lean and fast, almost like she should play the sports she was oh so bad at. 

Andromeda stood there just petting Horus for a while. Finally she vaulted her way onto his back ditching her harness, leaving it in the tack room. Horus walked toward the stall door and turned, allowing Andromeda to unlock it and swing it open. Just like that the two were off, racing out the barn and across the front grounds of their home. They ran and ran and ran until they peaked the top of a very tall hill that led to a wide open plain. 

The two went to plain almost daily. Its right behind their family's house after climbing the large hill that hides it from sight. Horus slowed at Andromeda's command and the two stood there looking down on the great stretch of land below. The sassy mytaugh stamped his leg and in an instant his voice was in Andromeda's mind. 

"You're not the one standing. Aka doing all the work! Might want to correct that thought of yours."

She rolled her eyes at his outburst. Ok, so they weren't standing on the ridge looking down at the plain. Horus was standing proudly on the ridge while Andromeda sat on his back looking over the plain. He could be so sassy and passive aggressive at times. It was quite funny. Andromeda thought. 

With one more thought directed towards Horus, the two were off loping down the hill, moving as one. The hill was tall and steep so Horus had to zigzag down it. 

When they reached the base of the hill and the large, sandy, rocky plain, Horus and Andromeda paused.  The pair paused there, breathing deeply, feeling each others hearts beat, listening to both of their silent minds. Just like that, as one, they took off like a bullet. They raced across the flat land, eating up the ground before them. Andromeda moved flawlessly with Horus's natural movements. They moved as one. One body, one heart, one mind. Horus let out a thunderous screech of delight. 

After hours of running, jumping and playing, Andromeda was left lying on the ground. Horus was behind her laying down also. Andromeda had her head resting on his side like he was a pillow. She was looking up at the sky as it faded into the universe's natural state. Soon it would be covered in stars that would light up Aristaeus surface with a faint blue glow.  

Andromeda laid there thinking. She thought about her job, her summer break, and her non existent friends. She also thought about her family. This brought with it, feelings of anger, sadness, and worry. All of a sudden there was a voice inside her head that made her jump. It was Horus. 

"You know," he said "just because I wiggle my way into your mind doesn't mean I dont feel your emotions too. Honestly you should know this. We are bonded after all, I chose you."

Andromeda made a humming noise agreeing that yes, sadly he could feel her emotions too. Horus continued,

"So it would be nice if you would not worry so much. I'm ready to throw up already! How are you not sick from all that worrying you're doing?"

"You're not funny and I am sick from it." Andromeda grumbled. 

She got up and sat on Horus's back then laid down so her head was resting on his rump as she continued to keep looking up at the sky. 

"Come on," She thought to the mytaugh. "Let's go home." 

Horus walked straight into his stall with Andromeda still on him. Andromeda slid off Horus’s tall form. She slowly made her way to the stall door and right before she closed it a familiar voice filled her head. Horus had been quiet on the short ride home but apparently now he had something to say. 

“It will be ok,” His mind's voice said “Whatever it is, it will be ok in the end.” 

Andromeda stared at him in shock, the stall door still half open in her hands. 

“W-what?” She stuttered “Don't you already know what it is? You're always in my head listening to me.”

“I'm always in your head but i'm not always listening. That would be so rude! Can you imagine if I was listening to you all these years! I probably would've died from your overactive imagination when we were younger.” The mytaugh ranted. 

He had a point. Horus was a yearling and Andromeda was six when he chose her. At that time in her life she was a very weird nurseling and most of the time her mind would run rampant. That was over a decade ago. But right now she was still shocked that he didn't know what she was stressing about. 

“Oh.. well.. Thank you.”  She grumbled 

Andromeda closed the stall door and meandered from the barn towards her family's house in the dark of night. Sleepily she picked up her hoverboard to carry into her room. 

She climbed up the dark wooden stairs that lead to the low front porch. The front porch was covered with a roof that was made of the same dark wood that made up the stairs and floor of the porch. The house itself was a white stucco single story dwelling, modeled after the architecture of the ancient worlds. It had many square windows all along the house to let in the light from Aten during the day and glowed yellow from light within at night. The front door was a very dark wood, almost black looking. It had beautiful carvings in it telling different stories in different landscapes. Stories lost long, long ago in the ancient world. Andromeda touched the gold colored handle and the door swung open into the house. It revealed a shouting match in the living room. 

Calypso and Vega, Andromeda’s sisters, were screaming and hitting each other with pillows from the couch. At the sound of the door, Andromeda's twin looked up from his position on the couch. It looked like he’d been watching the two while they raged on.  

Andromeda ignored her sisters shouts as she walked to the hallway on her right that led to her room. She stopped in her room to prop her hoverboard against the wall and grab one other thing. 

By the time she came back out to living room, the burgundy couch Atlas had been sitting on was turned over, pillows all over the floor, the mustard colored chair closest to their fake fire holder, was in two; and the other burgundy couch that was closest to Andromeda was now a wrestling ring for her sisters. 

Andromeda walked in front of the whole scene to get a better vantage point. It turns out, Atlas was still on the turned over couch reading as if nothing happened. Contrary, Calypso was now on top of Vega trying to do, honestly, gods knows what. 

Andromeda took the stick out of little ball she was holding, threw it near her sisters, and covered her ears. 

The small ball let out a loud piercing noise that hurt everyone's eardrums. The sound was deafening and shrill. It was so loud the whole planet could probably hear it. At the sound, Calypso fell off of Vega and the couch while covering her ears. Vega just gave Andromeda a hateful glare while covering her ears. 

The small noise grenade died off seconds later. Now it was time for Andromeda to make noise. She stared at her siblings from where she stood at the front of this mess. 

“Where are mum and dad?” Andromeda started off with. 

“They are out tending a sick Caw somewhere at some farm.” Atlas replied half interested. He didn't even bother looking at her as he said it. A Caw was a large air animal that somehow flew despite its awkward wings. They also produced milk that was drank throughout most planets. 

“Do we know how long they are going to be gone?” She continued.  

This time Vega answered her with venom in her tone. “They may be gone all night. The Caw is sick and expecting a babe.” 

Andromeda sighed at that. Sometimes their parents chose the wrong times to be amazing vets. 

“Ok,” Andromeda drawled. “Then why were you two fighting?” She said while jerking her chin at her sisters. 

Calypso was still on the ground glaring at Andromeda like she was ready to kill her. Andromeda stare her eldest sister down waiting for an answer. Atlas sighed from the other side of the room as he picked up a pillow. He threw it at Calypso as he walked out of the room towards the kitchen. It hit the side of her head and she blinked. At that, Calypso caved and said, “Vega said that ancient humans were smart and most likely intellectual creatures,” Calypso looked towards Vega. “even though our scientist proved they were all as good as pigs! So I started a debate with her to show her how stupid she was being.”  

“So you two had to start killing each other!?” Andromeda's voice was so loud it was almost screaming but she quieted down for her next reaction. “You two are brilliant but yet you choose to fight!? You debate the creature that's undoing was violence, yet you practice the same thing? Honestly you two should be appalled at yourselves and I shouldn't have to even say this to you! Why can’t you two go debate peacefully without hitting each other, just stick to yelling.”  She fumed at both of her  sisters. Vega and Calypso were both older than herself yet sometimes she was the only one that could think straight. 

“We may fight like humans but at least we don't work at a fuel stop like some heathen.” Vega seethed at Andromeda. “We also have friends and we all know when it comes to school, Cal and I excel while you… flounder at best.”

Andromeda grit her teeth and clenched her jaw. She could play dirty with them if she wanted to. Instead, “Just stop hitting each other. Fight and debate if you wish, I don't care.” She snarled before stomping to the kitchen to the left of her. 

Andromeda passed through the arch made of dark brown wood, into the kitchen. It’s warm yellow walls were adorned with pictures and paintings. The large round table in front of the windows, was painted black and made to look like their solar system with a beautiful and bright Aten in the middle. The countertops and cabinets were sleek and sterile, made of some kind of dark metal Andromeda did not understand. Despite the harshness of the metal, Andromeda loved this room the most because it felt the most warm and inviting. Not that the rest of the house wasn't. Cherika, Andromeda’s mother, loved ancient looking things so she decorated the family home like an ancient human home. It was inviting and plush. Made for comfort, not practicality. This happened to be one of the things Andromeda’s father, Loni, loved about Cherika and made him fall for her. 

Atlas was sitting on top of the island in the middle of the kitchen, eating a bright green and yellow fruit. He acknowledged her presence but said nothing. The two might be twins but you'd never know it by the way they looked and acted. Most of the time Atlas pretended Andromeda didn't exist. Andromeda made her way to the freezing box to grab leftovers from the night before. She heated the food up making enough for 2 people. Throwing it on plates, Andromeda walked to the gorgeous table to start eating. On the way to the table, Andromeda shoved one of the plates at her brother who begrudgingly took it and followed her to the table.  

They ate in silence. Andromeda kept to her own thoughts thinking about different things. She started to wish Horus could reach her mind all the way in the house. If he could they'd be talking right now. Instead Andromeda and Atlas sat in suffocating silence. Atlas finished his plate and as he got up to put it away, he said “Vega is right you know. I don't get why you work at that abomination of a fuel station or why your grades are so low. I mean you remember stuff but yet you still get fails in almost every class. So really, if you are that bad you shouldn't be appalled at them. At least they are doing something with their lives.”

With that Atlas left probably going to his room. Andromeda sat there with wet eyes just staring at the bright yellow Aten on the table. 

The room was suddenly colder and it seemed like the lights dimmed even though they did not. Staring down at Aten, her food completely forgotten, Andromeda looked at its bright yellow and orange and red flames. The middle was a yellow and orange circle that had a pleasant and inviting face on it. Off of the circle was Aten’s magnificent rays of light. All of them were wavy and came to a point but each one was different shade of orange or yellow with the occasional red. All around the edge of the table were the nine planets that made up our solar system. Balder, The planet of dreamers. Bragi, The planet of scholars and writings. Isis, The planet of the Seers and healers. Ptah, The planet full of inventors and scientists. Aristaeus, The planet of agriculture and animal husbandry. Pallas, The planet of Military Associations.  Kanaloa, The planet that distributes water throughout planets and nurtures all aquatic beings; Also the planet that is most like the ancient homeland, Earth. Uli, The planet of Philosophy and wisdom. Lastly, The planet the galaxy depends on most, Themis. The planet of Law and Justice.  

Andromeda always wanted to visit the other eight planets but knew she probably never would. That never stopped her from dreaming though. Late at night when Andromeda was laying in bed or when she would ride with Horus, She would wonder about which planet she would belong on most. Most people in her galaxy would spend about a year traveling the planets to see where they fit in most to continue their lives doing what they love. Statistics from Ptah show, that for every person that leaves their home planet, there were two that stay. Not because the person couldn't get off of their planet but because that was truly what they loved and had no interest in pursuing anything else. Andromeda knew that her sisters would probably go to Ptah and Uli. She also knew that her brother would probably go to Pallas or stay here on Aristaeus. What Andromeda didn't know though, was where she was going to go. 

She felt something wet fall on her hand. Andromeda looked down at the water droplets on her hand in surprise. She hadn't realized she was crying.  She hadn't even realised she was sad. That was because andromeda was not sad but in fact furious. The tear of rage quickly sizzled off her hot, enraged skin with a quick hiss.  How dare Atlas say that about her! At least she was doing something with her life! And she was just as capable of school projects as the three of them. Andromeda just happened to not particularly care about them. And if she ever wanted to admit it, which she would but probably never out loud, She was probably better than all three of her siblings. As Andromeda thought these things, her blood was practically boiling. She stood up so fast from the lovely table that the dark wooden chair fell backwards. Andromeda grabbed her plate and threw it into the sink with more force than needed before stomping off across house. She stalked and stomped through the odd kitchen of her home, through the half wrecked yet still beautiful living room, through the dark hallway covered in pictures and paintings, all the way to her room. Andromeda entered her room and slammed the door to the point of it almost coming off of its magnetic hinges.  Upon entering her room Andromeda looked around at the soft purple walls that matched Horus’s markings. She looked at her hoverboard that she had painted and drawn on so it would really seem like hers and not just a scrap of metal. She looked at her scale of their galaxy hanging in the corner of her room that she used to fall asleep watching every night. She looked at the pictures on top of the set of drawers that stood in front of her sleep pod. The hologram pictures that constantly blinked between art pieces she loved, her friends, and Horus. That was when her raging fire calmed down. Andromeda slumped against her room's door and sat there thinking about how to fix this. 

Andromeda hastily jumped up and practically ran to her tall armoire. She grabbed her black satchel and hastily filled it. Andromeda paused in front of her hoverboard and looked at her Epikoi checking the time. It was 2400  which meant she had half of a standard galactic hour left. Andromeda grabbed the board and silently bolted to the barn with her bag on her left shoulder. 

Upon reaching the barn doors, Andromeda propped her hoverboard against one and plunked her satchel next to it. She deftly opened the other barn door and crept through the semi darkness to Horus’s stall. The brilliant mytaugh was illuminated by the blue tinted light from the billion of stars that made Aristaeus glow at night. Andromeda crept into the stall and started to pet the mytaugh until he roused seconds later. She lovingly grabbed Horus’s large head as his voice filled her mind. 

“What could you possibly want at this ungodly hour, human. I am trying to get my beauty sleep.” If mytaugh were capable of facial expressions like smiling, Andromeda had no doubt the creature would be smirking. 

“Well,” she started whispering while stroking Horus’s long nose. “I just wanted to tell you that: once I can, I will send for you. But until then, please just wait and don't bite anyone's arm off when you get prissy.” she winked. With that, Andromeda wriggled out of the stall not waiting for a response and back out into the open night. She didn't hesitate as she slung the satchel over her body and hopped on her hoverboard zooming off of her family’s ground, onto the seemly endless starway, retracing the path she took earlier. 

When Andromeda reached the dusty fuel-stop parking area where there were about two dozen freighter ships parked, she hopped off of her board and began to look around. When she finally found the green and orange ship she was looking for, she tucked her board behind it where it would be hidden and ran off to the nasty tavern that had yellow light streaming from its ever dirty windows. 

The tavern was almost as bad as the store she worked in next door. The only reason it was better was because the wooden floor was washed clean from the puddles of spilled ale on it and the smell of fried foods almost hid the unworldly smell of the nasty freighters. The bell above the door rang as Andromeda entered but either no one in the large crowd heard or cared. The bar at the back was packed with brutes twice her size, half of them them singing an off key bawdy tune obviously intoxicated. To her left some tables had been pushed together and a large drunken card game was going on around what seemed to be two players fighting probably for losing to one another. And to her right were various dimly lit booths and tables with different freighters seated at them drinking, eating, talking, or sleeping. The tavern itself was modern enough but the wooden panels lining each wall suggested this place was originally built to feel old. 

Andromeda searched the tables and booths for one specific mass of muscle. She cut across the dingy tavern and slid down in the booth right across from him. In the yellow tinted light Andromeda looked over the man’s bright opalescent skin, that was taking on the same tint as the lighting above. He wore dark clothing contrasting his flawless skin but matching his styled hair. When Andromeda finally looked up he was smirking at her and had a mischievous look in his eyes. 

“Hello Elon” Andromeda purred and smiled. 

Elon was still smirking as his rich baritone filled her ears. “What do I owe this visit to, dear?” 

Andromeda scoffed and sat back. “Can I not visit my favorite brute without there being a reason?” She said. “But while we are on the subject I need a favor.” 

Andromeda was taking a gamble but she knew that out of any freighter she had ever seen stop here, Elon was the one most likely to help her. He was only about two years older than her and already found his job. They met on his first run to Pallas from Ptah. The young man had stopped in the freighter lot not knowing it was huge mistake.  He had walked into the store to buy a soda but after talking to Andromeda, who was behind the counter that day, he decided against it. A wise choice. That had been a year ago and since then, Elon would stop at the tavern and store whenever he could. The two had become something like friends in his stops and messaging when he was away. 

Elon chuckled at that. “I knew there had to be a reason for you to show your beautiful face.” 

“Alright Elon, stop flirting.” At this his posture changed. He sat up straight and was no longer smirking as Andromeda continued, her voice not a lovely, devious, tone anymore. “I'm trying to fix a problem I have and I was wondering if you let me ride with you to your next stop.” 

Elon sat back in his chair and studied her. His face unreadable. He was watching her so long she was about to squirm when he finally said, “Kanaloa is my stop then back up to Ptah.” 

“That's fine.” Andromeda replied probably too quickly. 

Elon nodded but was obviously still thinking things through. Yet all he said in reply was, “Why.” Andromeda don't know what seemed liked the blow she felt. Was it the question itself? Was it his deep baritone laced with curiosity and worry in a way that made it seem soft but harsh at the same time? Or maybe it was him staring so intently at her. Andromeda didn't know but despite herself she just stared at him. 

“I have a problem. I am trying to fix that problem and the way to fix it is to get away from it.” she said keeping her words short and frank. 

Elon sighed seeming exhausted still staring at her. Andromeda stared back at him and realized that in this moment he somehow seemed older. More burdened maybe. Definitely older in some way. He slid out the chair while saying “We leave early. Now.” and then walking away. Andromeda trailed Elon out of the tavern the cool night air hitting her face the moment the pair pushed through the Taverns front doors. Elon led  Andromeda to his green and orange freighter ship. She grabbed her Hover board and pack, throwing them into the back and then hauling herself into the front of the large ship next to Elon. Elon glanced at her as he started up the ship but kept his eyes ahead as they flew onto the endless starway. The only thing illuminating the two and the starway was the gorgeously cold blue light from the stars high above. 

The starway was...

-Boney

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (105/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Four

“Ned told me you knew,” Peter said. He was still in his Spider-Man suit sans mask. He’d taken Michelle up to the roof of the tower which had felt like the right place to go because he knew bringing her inside to the penthouse would bring up more questions. It was kind of cold up there, but Michelle didn’t seem to mind.

“I was going to use that knowledge eventually,” Michelle admitted. “Not sure what for but I guess i was waiting for the right situation. So, you’re Spider-Man.”

Peter nodded and Michelle just stared at him for a while which made Peter feel weird. As if she was trying to figure it all out.

“You know, you could say that Spider-Man is your fursona,” she deadpanned.

Peter shook his head at once. “Nope. Nope. That is not what this is at all. You can shake that thought right now.”

Michelle just smirked at him. “I’m joking. Kind of.”

He gave her a look and she smiled at him. “But seriously, how did that happen?”

Michelle was so calm and just pragmatic in how she asked him anything that Peter didn’t feel the stress that he’d felt when Ned found out. Then again, Michelle had also had time to think on it before.

“Spider bit me,” Peter said.

“Okay and the whole web thing -- is that coming out of you?” Michelle said. “I’ve been wondering.”

Peter shook his head, “No, no. That would be ridiculous.”

“You’re a teenage superhero we’re past ridiculous.”

Peter nodded his head and looked down at his suit. “Yeah, I guess. Ned freaked out when he found out.”

“I bet,” Michelle said and then she reached out to touch the suit. “Whatever it’s made from — seems really durable I guess? I’m guessing Tony Stark made it for you?”

“Yeah.”

“I...this is kind of crazy,” Michelle said. “I mean, The Avengers themselves always felt a bit fantastical but you’re -- you’re Peter and I’ve known you forever and you’re sort of one of them. Anyway, I really just wanted to thank you. All of my books and my phone are in this bag and my mom would have been really mad if I got it stolen.”

“I’m glad I was there,” Peter said.

The sun was going down which cast the sky in a nice orange-yellow, but it also meant that it was getting a bit colder out. Peter wouldn’t really feel it with the suit, but Michelle would.

“So, Tony Stark knows and Ned knows. Does your aunt know? Does anyone else? Did you tell Liz?”

“The rest of the Avengers know too,” Peter said. “May knows and I don’t think she’ll ever be happy about it. I didn’t tell Liz. Turned out her dad was the bad guy in the end so that was probably a good call. That’s it, really.”

Michelle nodded and then, “I’m glad it’s you. I mean, anyone else our age wouldn’t be a hero. Could you imagine if it was Flash? He would be lording it over everyone. He’d be even more insufferable.”

“Oh, god,” Peter said because he could just imagine it. “You’re right. And Ned would just use it to get popular or something. He hated that it was a secret when he first found out. It was hard to keep him from giving me away.”

Michelle laughed at that. “The two of you are such dorks.”

“You’re friends with us,” Peter pointed out.

She smiled. “Guess I am. But, okay, if the web doesn’t come out of you, what is it? I’ve seen you swing on it which means it’s strong and it’s sticky too? Did Stark make it?”

“I made it,” Peter said and he was happy to see how impressed she was because he could tell that Michelle had expected it to have come from Tony. “Took me awhile to get it right and Tony -- he helped to improve it a bit. I built the original web shooters too but the ones on the suit were made by Tony.”

Michelle gave him a long look. “You call him Tony,” she said. “I guess you’re close, then? I sort of figured considering the ferry thing and the night of the dance.”

“He’s my mentor,” Peter said and he was glad that it didn’t come out like too much of a lie. Peter just -- he didn’t want her to know about Tony being his dad quite yet. It was enough that Ned knew.

“The internship,” Michelle said.  

“I’m glad you know,” Peter said. “Ned gets a little too excited. He doesn’t realize what this is all about sometimes and maybe it might be good for him to have someone else to discuss it with.”

“Or you,” Michelle said. “I mean, who else do you have to talk to other than Ned and a bunch of superheroes if your aunt isn’t actually supportive of your activities?”

“I have Karen,” Peter said.

“Who is Karen?”

“My AI. Well, she’s in the suit and in my phone.”

Michelle hummed in response, but she shook head. “Right, so another of Tony Stark’s creations.”

She shivered as a gust of wind hit them and Peter motioned for her to go inside, lightly touching her arm to lead her in and Michelle turned back to look at him and smiled at him.

Wakanda was the same as the last time that Tony had seen it. T’Challa was unavailable to greet them since he was in some kind of meeting, so Shuri did instead and she immediately began to ask Tony questions about his work on Steve’s shield.

“He can show you himself. We brought it with us,” Tony told her and then with a grin shot at Steve: “He can also show you the ring.”

At that, Shuri made an excited noise and she swung her attention towards Steve. She demanded to see it and Tony laughed at the surprise on Steve’s face except that he also seemed quite pleased about it.

“In fact,” Tony added, “why don’t you and Steve look at the shield while I go find Barnes.”

Steve knew better than to ask to go with him since Tony had made it clear that he wanted to do this on his own. It was important. Tony had never been one to go forth and face his demons -- not when he could find a reason to avoid them -- but this one was one that he needed to. For one thing, the man was his future husband’s best friend and for another he was an innocent man that had been tortured and used and Tony needed to forgive him. But for that, they had to talk. Tony needed to see him with his own eyes and finally meet James Buchanan Barnes.

“Okay,” Steve said.

Shuri grabbed him someone to lead him to Barnes and then dragged Steve away probably towards her lab. Tony had known he could count on Shuri.

Barnes was apparently staying in a hut a small walk away from the palace and he seemed to be happily assimilating to life in Wakanda. When Tony and his guide came upon him he was actually in the middle of playing with some boys and girls.

“Thanks,” Tony said to his guide. “I’ll head over on my own.”

Tony didn’t move forward at once and instead just watched for a while. It was kind of surprising that Barnes hadn’t realized he was being watched for one and for another -- well, he seemed different from the man that Tony had seen in that bunker in Siberia. He was more like the man that Steve had described to him from back in the 40s. Barnes was smiling and laughing and he seemed to be at peace. Barnes was still down to one arm and Tony felt a modicum of guilt because he’d been the one to blow the other one off and because he had also never offered to get him a replacement. Granted, despite his prosthetic division, Steve had never asked. Maybe he thought that Tony wouldn’t want to give Barnes an arm. Or maybe Shuri was already making him one.

After a moment, Tony moved closer and he coughed in order to give Barnes some warning, but as he had moved closer, Tony had noticed that Barnes tensed up some and he’d realized someone was approaching. Barnes looked up and the kids paused in the middle of their game and then after a nod from Barnes just left with quick goodbyes. One little girl hugged Barnes before she scampered off.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” Barnes said and he sounded careful. “I saw the jet come in but I didn’t think it was--”

“Yeah,” Tony said, “I’m kind of the last person you probably expected to come looking for you.”

“Well not the last but yeah,” Barnes said. He tilted his head and Tony could tell that he was trying to get a read on the situation. After a moment he said, “Congratulations, by the way. I heard you put a ring on it.”

Tony laughed. “So you listen to Beyonce.”

“Sometimes. I think between me and Steve I was always going to be the one more suited to the future. I bet he still doesn’t really listen to anything current.”

Now that Tony thought about it, despite how much Steve read and watched and had caught up on about the world, music was one of those things that he never really spoke about. Tony knew he’d checked out famous and important parts of music history but modern music didn’t give him much interest.

“I guess he doesn’t,” Tony said.

It was surprising, how it actually wasn’t all that hard to talk to Barnes. Maybe it was the easy topics and that they were talking about Steve and not all the hard stuff that Tony had actually gone to the trouble of flying to Wakanda for.

“That’ll make it easier to pick a song to dance to at the wedding,” Barnes said.

Tony laughed, a little surprised at the comment. “I hadn’t even considered that we’d have to dance,” he said.

“He doesn’t know how,” Barnes said. “It was one of those stubborn Steve things. He wanted the right dance partner and no one was ever interested. Not until Peggy and with the war they never really got anywhere.”

“Sounds like him,” Tony said and then, “I came to clear the air. In light of the engagement and mostly everything else. Steve filled you in, right? Ross and everything he’s doing. I want -- I’ve tried my best to move past it all and I have. I really have. You didn’t have a choice and everything that happened to you was terrible. And still, I won’t ever forget that video and what The Winter Soldier did even if it wasn’t really you.”

Bucky looked taken aback at Tony’s words. “I -- I feel guilty all the same. Not as much as I used to but it’s there and I can’t change anything that I did when I was the Winter Soldier but I want to. I wish I could.”

“Steve doesn’t get that.The guilt, I mean” Tony said. “I do. They called me The Merchant of Death for a long time but I didn’t care because my focus was on the engineering and on the construction of newer and faster and it wasn’t just the double dealing because that was one thing that was done without my knowing -- I still made weapons and created bombs and missiles and so much else with the knowledge that all of it would be used to kill people. I allowed my creations to kill people and it shouldn’t have mattered that we were at war. Of course, it was all made worse when I found out everything I built was being used on both sides. So, I get it, Barnes, I really do. You know, I’ve just been making up for it since I stopped weapon manufacturing in a way and it was a long time before I truly felt like I could move past it. I think the start for you is to get better and live your life and make your own choices now that you can and you’re not in danger of becoming The Winter Soldier anymore.”

Tony hadn’t realized how alike they were. He hadn’t thought about it much because it had been easier to not consider those parts of Barnes and realize that they had both been held and tortured and that they had both done horrible things. Barnes had had it worse. Tortured and brainwashed for decades. Kept frozen when he wasn’t needed. It was horrible.

“I want to clear your name,” Tony said. “Ross has been trying to make it impossible for you to ever come back. He wants to hold you accountable for everything Hydra ever made you do. Probably his attempts at getting you and study the serum.”

“Yeah. I’ve seen the news,” Barnes said.

“Well, I’m going to clear your name, Barnes,” Tony said and then because he had to he reached out his hand and Barnes didn’t hesitate to take it. “We’re good, okay? I -- I didn’t react well in Siberia which we can both blame on Steve’s attempts at protecting me. Backfired on all of us.”

Barnes took back his hand and he grinned. “Nobody said Steve was smart.”

Tony shook his head. “He’s not smart when it comes to protecting those he loves. And you’re the last piece of his family left. I do get it -- I’ve been alone for most of my life and I don’t think that I could ever get in the way of your friendship. You’re going to be his best man and I’ll need to find a way to get you to New York for the wedding. Steve also told me that you really supported me and Steve. So, it’s only right that the two of us be on good terms.”

Barnes grinned and Tony knew that he would still need to get to know the man to really get over everything -- so that every time he looked at him he could purge “killed mom” from his brain and associate him with something else, but it was already becoming easier because this man was nothing like The Winter Soldier and Tony truly did believe he was good and Tony intended to help him.

Chapter One Hundred Six

[hellomissmabel]

Men of the moon (2/3)

MASTERLIST

Pairings: Vampire!Bucky x reader, Vampire!Steve x reader

Warnings: SPOILERS! Murder (kind of bloody)

Word count: 1k

Summary: Vampire diaries AU with Bucky as Damon, Steve as Stefan, Clint as Matt, Y/N as Elena, Sharon as Caroline, Wanda as Bonnie, Pietro as Jeremy but he’s Bonnie’s brother not Elena’s in this AU, Natasha as Vicki, aunt May as Elena’s aunt Jenna, Tony as Alaric, Sam as Tyler.

A/N: Please note that this is an AU and does not follow the original story of TVD. It will however contain a couple spoilers so be aware before you read! Written for @heartmade-writingbucky!

Series masterlist can be found here

You’re sitting in the Mystic Grill, your diary in front of you and your pen on your lips as your eyes are glued to the back of a handsome stranger. He’s flirting with the girl behind the bar, a redhead whose name is Natasha. She’s Clint’s sister and drop dead gorgeous, a tattoo of a spider on the top of her breast included to add to her femme fatale allure.

You have no idea why you’re so interested in knowing what’s being said, but you just can’t focus on writing anything down as long as his voice keeps penetrating your ears. “When does your shift finish?,” he queries in a sultry tone. “Maybe I can buy you a drink after?”

Yet Bucky is painstakingly aware that you’re more than just a little curious about him, turning up the volume of his voice because he wants you to eavesdrop. “C’mon, Nattie, baby,” the brunet pleads as he licks his lips, “You’re not gonna leave me thirsty are you?”

Just as you’re rolling your eyes at the innuendo in his words, Steve taps your shoulder and presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi,” you reply with a sweet smile, “Where have you been? I thought we agreed to meet up an hour ago?”

“Yessssss…,” Steve answers as he draws out the ‘s’ while fishing out the corsage he’s been hiding in his jacket. “But I had to pick this up first.”

“Steve!” You squeak his name excitedly, admiring the corsage as he hands it to you with a smug smile. “I thought you’d forgotten!”

He shakes his head and claps the hand that’s holding the corsage with his strong hands, the rough skin complimented by the soft approach of his gesture. “Of course not. I love you and I know how much prom means to you.”

The lines around his eyes crinkle up when he smiles back at you. “I love you, Steve.” He’s about to say it back when another man comes up to where you two are seated and interrupts your moment of affection and tenderness.

“Hey there, Stevie, fancy seeing you here.” Bucky’s blue eyes bore into Steve’s as he sits down next to Y/N and extends his hand by means of introduction. “I’m Bucky, Steve’s half-brother.”

You give him your most gratuitous smile, pretending not to fawn over his good looks, while shooting Steve a dirty glance from the corner of your eye. “Steve never told me he had a half-brother.”

“Yeah, Steven here was adopted and he never really talks about it, ain’t that right?,” Bucky coos as he wets his lips, eyeing you from head to toe.

Bucky then continues to make some small talk, partly to spite Steve but mostly to find out more about Y/N. Now he is truly understands what has drawn Steven back to Mystic Falls. At first he thought it was his pursuit after Peggy’s descendants that brought him back to this godforsaken town, but after gazing only once in Y/N’s direction, he was hooked as well.

She is everything that was good about Peggy, without the filthy sting of Peggy’s other side.

A high-pitched scream resounds harshly in the ears of all the patrons in the Mystic Grill and instantly claims the attention of Steve. Locking eyes with Bucky and judging from his wicked grin, Steve immediately realises Bucky’s mischievous nature is to blame for the recent uproot.

Launching from his seat, he tells you to stay here and asks Bucky to keep an eye on you, fairly certain that Bucky wouldn’t try anything on Y/N as she is the spitting image of Peggy and he, too, might need some time to figure out why exactly just like Steve.

“Now tell me, Y/N, how long have you and Steve been together?”

“About a year now,” you reply earnestly while glancing over your shoulder over and over again to see what all the fuss is about. Your eyes fly over to the bar and you notice the redhead behind the bar has been replaced by a guy. So that’s why Bucky is so interested in you all of a sudden.

“Are you sure we haven’t met before?” His tone is casual but you can sense his impatience, fingertips tapping on the table.

“Yeah, I think I would’ve remembered.” Another look over your shoulder when more people grow curious and rush to the back. “I mean – you certainly don’t blend in.”

“I’m flattered, doll, but that’s not what I meant. What I mean is, do you remember that today, exactly one year ago, you and I ran into each other? You were on your way from the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, in that big blue dress of yours. You were tipsy and lost a shoe along the way. How very Cinderella of you.”

Your eyebrows knit together as you search your mind for an explanation, but it only aggravates matters as Bucky rolls his eyes at your ignorance. “I – I don’t think that ever happened. I’m sorry, you must have me confused with someone else.”

With a cocky smirk, he finishes his drink in one go. “No, it was definitely you. I’d recognise that pair of eyes anywhere. But more importantly, we kissed.”

“Excuse me?,” you blurt out in a hushed whisper, leaning in so only he can hear you. “What the fuck?”

“It was before you met Steve. I actually met you first.” He grins at the memory and the disbelief you attempt to swallow as it feeds the storm in your eyes and consumes you with self-doubt. “Like I said, you were tipsy and needed some help finding your shoe. I merely  helped.”

You begin to hesitate even more, stuttering and stammering softly. “I’m sorry, really, I am, but you must be mistaken.”

But then the conversation takes an unexpected turn. As you’re about to get up from your seat and go and see for yourself what’s taking Steve so long, you’re nailed to the spot as you lock eyes with Bucky. It’s as if your entire system has been paralyzed – no, hypnotised. All you can focus on is the movement of Bucky’s lips as he whispers under his breath, that casual smirk tugging on the corners of his lips.

“Hold on a minute, Y/N,” he tells you all too sweetly as his pupils dilate and your eyes mimic his. “When Steve comes back, he’ll probably ask what we talked about. So you’re going to forget what I just said and act normal. You’re going to tell him we had a little chat about…”

His eyes are glued to the corsage in your lap and he chuckles sourly, a new plan forming in his mind. “About prom.”

Steve gets to the alley behind the grill and lays eyes on the dead body of Natasha, the girl behind the bar that’s been serving Bucky drinks all night. Her shift ended about an hour ago yet as it’s always busy at the grill, nobody noticed that she followed someone outside through the back door for a sneaky make-out session. Little did she know it would be her last.

He is convinced this is Bucky’s work, but he will never be able to prove it even if he wishes to do so. Bucky knows how to cover up his tracks, the bite marks in her neck untraceable as Bucky slashed her throat after he fed on her. The sheriff, Sharon’s mother, has also arrived at the scene and she walks straight to Steve, asking him if he’s seen or heard anything unusual while he was inside the Grill.

In order to protect himself, he has to protect Bucky too, so he lies smoothly to the sheriff that everybody loved Natasha and nobody would ever dream of hurting her. Yes, she had her boyfriends and yes, there were a couple men flirting with her while she was on the job, but no-one capable enough of doing this to her.

After giving his statement to the sheriff, he storms back inside the grill only to find you laughing at something Bucky’s said, his arm slung casually around the seat you’re sitting in. Breathing out deeply, Steve takes a couple long strides towards the brunet and sits back down gently, keeping a straight face as he delivers the news.

Tag list: @melconnor2007 @learisa @mrshopkirk @dont-speak-just-read @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @lovemarvelousfics @pleasantdreamqueen @petersunderroos @movingonto-betterthings @palaiasaurus64 @ssweet-empowerment @lovemarvelousfics @rrwilson66 @petersunderroos  @reniescarlett  @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @barnes-heaven  @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival  @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven  @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @a-little-hell-to-raise @knittingknerdy  @winterboobaer @hymnofthevalkyrie  @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @howlingbarnes  @themcuhasruinedme @persephonesinferno @hollycornish   @delicatecapnerd @tomhollandzs  @aletheladyinred @xbergiex @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @pegasusdragontiger @salty-holographic-stickers  @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @autijahnerd13s-blahg @sophiealiice @sarahmatthews7 @lumelgy @kudosia @daringtodreamawake @moonbeambucky @suz-123 @breezy1415 @always-an-evans-addict @yourtropegirl @4theluvofall @curvybihufflepuff @caplansteverogers @amrita31199 @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @pineapplebooboo @thefridgeismybestie @supernatural508 @supernaturaldean67@cant-decide-at-this-moment @mehrmonga @specs15 @kanupps06 @imnotinsanehunny @sarahgracej @jasurahe13 @nerdyandproud9 @geeksareunique @jesspfly @badassbaker @whenallsaidanddone @ailynalonso15 @thebookisbtr @animechick725 @wheneggsymetbucky @true-queen-of-mischief @debzybrazy

[tanjisung]

reading winter soldier 2019 ig

okok so i just ended up episode 1 of winterfalcon and i got overexicted bcus bucky is way too pretty wtf ??????? so i wanted to read one of his solo hqs but i couldnt find winter soldier 2012 anywhere so im reading wintersoldier 2019 very nice very nice so see my live coments + freak outs abt the internet and my opinion at the end :D

chapter one ^_^

wtf is this really only 5 chapters short thats so lame but ok that means i can end it fast

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE MY INTERNET STOPPED WORKING JUST BY THE MOMENT I STARTED READING THIS SHIT WTF

OK IT CAME BACK

lets get going first of all damn stop being so hot

OMG HE GOT HIS REDEMPTION NOW HE IS GONNA HELP OTHER PEOPLE TO GET REDEMPTIONED YES BUCKY BARNES CEO OF REDEMPTIONS I LOVE HIM SM

AND THE BLOODY INTERNET STOPPED AGAIN I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE tHATS WHY I HATE RAINY DAYS

OK IT CAME BACK AGAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE lets reload the page`~~~~~~~~~~~~

why are u talking to a cop no bucky no no

this just reminded me of a barry episode ive seen with my dad nice

WHO TF IS THAT MAN

im so sad so so so so so sad why

IS THAT TONY STARK????????????

ye it is that little bitch i hate you comics tony stark i hate you so much ill never forgive you for doing SHIT at empyre ohhh ill be here in my place with reed just doing nothing while someone is trying to explode the sun WELL DONE TONY WELL DONE

+ ur just an asshole the whole universe i only kinda like you in civil war because i hate steve 67897890x more

ok ends tony stark hate club

IDK WHO TF ARE YOU BUT COULD U TAKE MY HAND IM MARRIAGE ????????????

maybe thats just bcus he looks a lot like jason todd ok .. but he is still very cute and seems nice

chapter 2 ^_^

aparently his name is rj now im wondering do i search his name on the internet or do i just continue reading

MARVEL DEATH THE KID

HE IS TRYNA KILL BUCKY WTF U JUST SAD YOU ARE A FAN

stalker energy pls behave yourself rj

WTF IS THIS WHY DOES THIS KID HAVE VIBRANIUM

STOP TRYING TO BE JASON TODD YOU'RE NOT HIM

wait what if he is like a parody like wase wilson and slade wilson that would make me hate u marvel cause you could never make something as great as jason im very very sorry

also i hate that slade wade shit it doesnt even make sense like the product is amazing asf but the reason is weird idk not nice

ok he reminds me of my rpg character now im sad ..

PIECE OF SHIT WTF IS THIS THING STOP

WHO IS THIS MANNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE JOHN CONSTATINE FROM WISH

WHY ARE U TELLING MJT (marvel jason todd) THAT HE FAILED NOOOOO

FOR FUCKS SAKE NO ONE ASKED YOU SHIT

BUCKY UR SO HOT AND SMART AND AMAZING <33333

chapter 3 lets goooooo :P

i hate you so much tony stark go away just go fucking away for once

RJ HAVING THERAPY THATS IT MY BOYYYY GIVE ME A KISS UR SO AMAZING CONGRATS SWEETIE

Pls bucky and rj i want you two to have brothers energy pls big bro bucky thats so cute

hot boy bucky by the sound of hard to kill by someone that i dont recall right now yes sirrrrrrrrr

rj tell me the truth ur transmasc right

THAT IS SO WEIRD BOOOOO BUBBLE MAN

omg this looks like mother virus created reality

NO HE IS BEING PUNCHED /snk flashbacks

HE TOOK HIS ARM

RJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

RJ IS SAYING A LOT OF DEEP TRUE THINGS RN SAY IT LOUDER

he is so jason todd .....

U MADE BUCKY CRY FORGET EVRYTHING I JUST SAID FUCK YOU RJ

RJ HAS A DAD ??????????????????????/

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

chapter 4 ^_^

IRISH AND ITALIAN HOLY FKCNG SHIT THAT IS SO HANDSOMENESS MATERIAL

that is so cool that man is so cool give him a solo comic idc he is just rj's father he is cool asf

MARRY ME RICHIE YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE

richie dilf

i love single dads so much im emotional now

RJ IS CRYING THAT IS TDTAYDHS THAT IS SO

IS THAT FUCKING MAFIA ??????????????

WHY RICHIE

RJ UR SO AMAZING PLS

BUCKYYYYYYYYYYY

FIFTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS THAT IS INSANE WTF

RICHIE WHY ARE U TREATING BUCKY THIS WAY I LOVED OU YOU MOTHERFUCKER

yes he is gonna help him nice bucky 1 kiss

WHERE DID U TAKE ALL THIS MONEY FROM

RICHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

he reminds me of another rpg character omg hunter come back to me pls

NO RICHIE U FAILED ME

YES BUCKY THANK U

Im so sad i trusted you richie u were gonna be hunter u were gonna be the cool single dad ok im sad fuck you im sad

HE KILLED RICHIE ???????

i was just going to celebrate richies death but now i just remembered that bucky doesnt wanna kill anyone so he is probably gonna be sad by killing him noooooooooooooooooooooooo

chapter 5 tHE LAST ONE NO

SWEETIE UR DAD IS DEAD omg that rhymed

U LEFT HIM IN YOU CAR WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM

this looks like a life is strange scene

yes of course his life will be better but at the same he doesnt know his dad is a piece of shit he will still be pissed and probably depressed but mostly pissed actually bucky u might die

WHY IS WISH JOHN CONSTANTINE HERE I DONT LIKE YOU SIR GO AWAY LEAVE THE KID ALONE

actually how old is rj thats a good question

ok apparently google doesnt know the answer im guessing 16

HE IS SO NICE AND AMAZING AND BADASS I LOVE YOU

OMG NO NOW HE KNOWS HE KILLED HIS DAD NOOOOOOOOOO

im mad abt he punching bucky but id do the same thing he is in right to be very mad abt it ok go on

HE KILLED WISH JOHN CONSTANTINE YES RJ UR ALWAYS RIGHT

#RJ: trans rights? of course! im trans and im always right

NO IT ENDED UP ALREADY NOOOOO

ok very cool comment section now by lucas tanjisung (me) lets go

lets start by the fact that bucky is as pretty in the comics as in the movies since this is from 2019 it might be actually inspired in sebastian stan but im not sure anyways very good looking so +678 points

one thing is that after just seeing the winterfalcon episode i guess that bucky is a very right connection to this one but like a few months later with all the getting better thing and if that is the case well done marvel it looks great

other very good thing abt this shit : RJ . pls im already in love with this like psycho traumatized teenager and maybe thats because im a very big fan of marvel teenagers in general but he has a very deep backstory that could be very useful to the universe in general. idk if he is in any other comic but an origin solo for him would be top tier or one of him after wintersoldier events and him being an anti-hero of something (or maybe thinking very high rj young avenger that would be sick

now one thing that i didnt like very much is that like .. ok i get it makes sense with his whole story and all that and i like redemption arcs a lot BUT ANTI-HEROES OR JUST KILLING HEROES ARE SO MUCH NICER AND COOLER LIKE .. (okok my fav super-heroes aren't killling heroes but u have to be the best of the best to be a not killing heroe and be good u know thats why they are my fav) COMING BACK .. i just wanted to see bucky destroying enemies and boom explosion fights and all that but it was a more deep and like thoughtful comic that differs a lot to what im used to so maybe thats why i got a little weird abt it, but counting everything it is an AWESOME comic with AWESOME drawing styles and an aweome meaning that showed a lot of emotional shit abt a character i didn't know that well

i had to rate it from 1 to 10 it would probably be an 8,5 so very cool marvel well done

[goponylover]

I Knew Him Tree Bros Fic

Based on @nellos12 Middle School AU

Evan was cleaning out his closet. He had just finished a big project for college and found himself with nothing to do. Ever since he started working at the Pottery Barn he always felt the need to keep himself busy. It was tough, balancing work and college but he managed. He was also slowly reconciling with Jared and Zoe. How they forgave him he'd never understand...

"You're trying to put your past behind you, remember" He thought.

He pulled down a stack of books from his shelf and found they were a bunch of old yearbooks. Evan smiled slightly. He had never really cared enough to want his yearbooks, no one signed them anyway, but his mom had made sure to order and keep every single one. He pulled a random one from the stack, his seventh grade yearbook, sat on his bed and began flipping through it. Within minutes he found his old class photo. He traced along the many faces searching for his own but something else caught his eye. A tall boy with tangled red hair falling into his eyes and a cheeky grin on his face.

He recognized his eyes. 

Blue with just a smidge of brown in the left one.

Could that be...?

No. No way. There was no way he and Connor were in the seventh grade together! He would have remembered! He would have...although his hair was different. A lot about him looked different. His frame was much more filled out in this this picture than the thin, lanky teenager Evan had come to barely know. His cheeks weren't so hollow, though his cheekbones just as high, and his eyes weren't so angry. The more he looked at the picture the resemblance grew.

"If I don't get an answer for this I'm gonna lose my mind!" He thought.

He hesitantly picked up his phone and dialed Zoe's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Zoe It's-It's me. I um...I kinda have a-a-a question for you. I uh I was looking in this old seventh grade year book and I saw something and I really didn't wanna have to ask you but your really the only person I could ask and this is gonna drive me crazy if I don't figure this out and-"

"Evan!" She interrupted. "Just...ask the question."

Evan took a breath. Zoe had always helped him calm down. Carefully he asked the question. "....Did...did Connor ever have red hair?

There was quiet for a moment and Evan was sure he had really screwed up but then-

"When he was younger, yeah. He was a natural ginger like mom. He dyed it brown in freshman year and he kept it like that ever since so...yeah."

"Oh...ok...I'm sorry."

"Don't Evan. It's okay. Why'd you wanna know?" He could hear her smile over the phone and thanked God that she was so understanding.

"...I think Connor and I might have had the same seventh grade class."

"Oh..."

Silence reigned again. Evan hated that. Those moments of silence when no one was sure what to say or even if something should be said and it was all just so horribly awkward. Evan HATED it. With a passion. He was about to stutter out something, ANYTHING just to break the tension when Zoe did it for him.

"...Hey maybe sometime...you could let me take a look at that picture? I've almost forgotten what Connor looked like with red hair."

"Y-Yeah of course." Evan answered.

Zoe chuckled. "Y'know this whole...mess...its kinda given me a new perspective on him. Made me remember the good days."

"I thought you said there weren't-"

"I was wrong." She sighed "I guess I spent so long thinking about the bad stuff...I forgot about the good. Heh. Y'know the other day I was thinking about this video interview thing dad was doing for his company and they had Connor and me stand in the background and they told us 'look like your talking, it'll look more natural'. And Connor said to me, 'So we could say anything and no one would ever know?' He he! So we were like, 'Watermelon, watermelon watermelon, crocodile, hairdryer, toilet paper!' just talking random nonsense! I had to try so hard to keep a straight face and not ruin the shot!"

She broke into giggles.

Evan chuckled. "That's...awesome."

Zoe's laughter died down and for another short moment there was silence over the line. 

"I haven't thought about that in so long...how could I...forget something like that?"

Evan felt like he should say something but all that came out was "I...I-I don't um..."

Zoe interrupted before he got too lost in his rambling.

"Evan?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Thanks for calling."

"Oh...oh yeah uh n-no problem thanks for uh...thanks for talking to me, Zoe."

"Bye Evan."

"Bye."

Evan hung up the phone and put his face into his hands. So much was coming back to him. 

"Hey."

Evan turned and saw a somber looking kid with messy red hair. He had seen him before, he was known for his hair triigger temper and most kids avoided him. One time a girl had shoved him up against the wall in fourth grade and called him a "psycho freak". She had gone home with a bloody nose and missing four teeth. And now he wanted to talk to him?!

"W-what? Me?" Evan stuttered.

"Yeah. C'mere." 

"W-why?"

"Just come here! I'm not gonna do anything bad!" He stomped his foot childishly.

Evan reluctantly approached the preteen and was almost hit in the face himself by accident as the boy stiffly held out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

"Come to my bar mitzvah." 

Evan blinked at him. "...what?"

The boy rolled his eyes when he doesn't understand.

"Come to my bar mitzvah and you can have this."

Oh. Ooohhhh. Wait. This guy wanted him to come to his party? Why? And why was he paying him?

"I-I would come anyway."

"...Really?"

"Y-yeah."

The red haired boy stood there looking stunned, almost confused for a moment. He looked him up and down, almost like he was assessing him, before sliding the Spider-Man backpack off of his shoulders and fishing an equally crumpled invitation out of it. He handed it to Evan who took it, still not quite believing this was happening to him.

"Its this friday. The address is inside. I'm Connor. By the way."

"Uh...okay...why me? N-not that I don't wanna go! I-I I do! I was just wondering-" Evan stuttered, flailing his arms trying to communicate his point. He half expected Connor to just snatch the invitation out of hand.

"Cause I have no friends. And I know that you don't either. So..." 

That stung a bit but it was true. The two stood awkwardly, staring at each others shoes for a moment before Connor began to walk away.

"I-I have a barmitzvah coming up soon!" Evan blurted out before he could stop himself. Connor turned to look at him, confused. "W-what I mean is uh i-If you wanted to come...that'd be...uh...that'd be cool."

There was that stunned look again. "Um...sure." And with that he turned and walked away.

It was a relatively small party for such a big house. Probably because he was the only one who showed up. They mostly stayed in Connor's room, played video games and ate cake and chips. Evan was actually having a pretty good time. After a little while Connor's mom had ushered them outside to play. Having nothing else to do they started playing tag. It was a little childish and kinda weird with only two people but fun. When Connor caught up to him he tackled him, trying to roughhouse and bruised his cheek. Evan had started crying and Connor let him go immediately. He led him inside and gave him a water bottle for his cheek. "Shit! I'm so so sorry Evan!"

"...That was a swear."

"I just gave you a bruise and you're worried about me swearing?!"

"S-sorry..."

"What're you apologizing for?"

"I-I'm not m-mad. It's okay." 

They stayed inside and talked until Evan's mom came to pick him up.

Connor did end up coming to Evan's Barmitzvah later that year.

"So my m-mom's f-finshing the cake w-we could just h-hang out until then." He said timidly as they walked into his room. Connor stood awkwardly in the center of the room looking around before his eyes fell on a bin of carefully ordered comic books next to his bed. "You like comics?" He asked.

"Y-yeah! Wanna see em?" Evan perked up after being asked about something that interested him. Connor smiled. 

"Got any Spider-Man?"

"Sure! I-I like Wolverine." Evan added as he picked up a Spider-Man comic and handed it to Connor.

Connor shrugged. "He's okay."

"D-do you not have any? C-comics I mean." Evan asked.

Connor frowned. "A few. My dad doesn't like em."

Evan didn't say anything more. So he and Connor sat on the bed, read comics and talked about superheroes until his mom called them down for cake.

Connor and Evan talked consistently through seventh grade. They didn't often go over to each others houses but they saw each other at school and hung out there. So when the middle school dance came around it was only natural that they'd go together as friends. Neither of them were gonna get dates and their parents were pressuring them to go ("It'll be good for you!" They said.) so they went together. They stood off to the side in a loud, crowded, sweaty room before the noise became to much for Evan and they went outside. Evan was breathing hard trying to calm down.

"You okay?" Connor asked. 

"I'm fine! J-Just...don't like crowds...why did our mom's make us go?" Evan panted. Connor shrugged. "Cause they want us to make friends."

Evan shook his head, finally calming down a bit. "Yeah...I guess." 

"But I've already got a friend. I've got you." Connor said, pushing his red hair behind his ear.

And then Evans heart was racing again as soon as it had calmed. "I-I'm you're friend?"

"Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?" He asked, suddenly becoming defensive.

"N-no! No I just d-didn't know if you were okay y'know...with me." Evan looked at his shoes. 

Connor looked away. "I didn't know if you were okay with me."

"O-of course I am! Y-You like Spiderman and videogames and your funny and c-cool!-"

"And psychotic." Connor smirked self deprecatingly.

"...I d-dont think so." Evan muttered. Connor half smiled. "You're pretty cool too."

Evan's heart skipped a beat. There were butterflies in his stomach.

Before he could think about what he was doing he stood on the tips of his toes and pressed his lips to Connor's. The kiss was quick. Barely a few seconds. When Evan pulled back Connor's face was taken over by a shocked expression. "Oh crap! This is it! I'm gonna get punched!" He thought. But Connor didn't move. He was rooted to the spot. A blush slowly rose to his cheeks and as it slowly sunk in what he had just did Evan began blushing too. The blonde turned away and covered his face with his hands. "I'm s-so sorry!" He whimpered. Connor didn't respond. Evan summoned his courage and peeked between his fingers. Connor still hadn't moved, his hand was covering his mouth, his eyes stared straight ahead and a dark red blush was up to his ears.The muffled sound of the booming music was the only sound between them. And that's how they stayed until their parents came to pick them up.

After the dance they talked less and less. Evan asked Connor if he was mad at him, Connor had said no but the distance between them continued to grow. By the time eighth grade rolled around and Connor moved house the separation was pretty much permanent.

Evan lifted his head out of his hands and felt the tears running down his face. He knew him. He actually knew him. Connor had been his friend. He had been his first crush. Evan laid back on his bed. In a few minutes he would call Zoe again, or maybe his mom, he would explain what he had remembered, he would explain to someone who would understand. But for now he lay back on his bed and cried for a bit. For the first time he fully felt the effect of Connor's loss.

(Points if you recognized the JaidenAnimations reference!)