#i dont know. get through it. hopefully. idk what happens on the other side.

[downfour]

i hateeeeee making plans significantly in advance (the only way i like plans to be made. lmfao.) because I feel so much worse about not wanting to follow through on them man

[srjlvr]

SEVEN ROYALTIES

“once upon a time there was a prince, who did anything he could to be with the love of his life” — park sunghoon.

park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: childhood friends to enemies to lovers , one sided love somewhere into the story , heavy angst , fluff ! warnings: character’s death (not a main character) , curse words. (lmk if i missed something pls!) || NOT FULLY PROOFREAD!!

WORD-COUNT ; 5.5K+

NOTE. wow i dont even know where to start! it’s been a real while! i think like more than a month, i’m extremely sorry for being gone, school is so stressful, but i got some time to write now and honestly? i missed it so much!! hopefully you’d like this part and don’t let it fool you, just because i’ve been gone for a while doesn’t mean i’m not continuing this wonderful series!! it was also supposed to be enemies to lovers but i honestly failed miserably and idk how to define it- some mentions of sunoo’s story are dropped here too :)

“why do you always look at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever saw”

a few years into your childhood and you were already been told that you’re going to marry off to someone as soon as possible.

you, being the second princess and the least favorite one, had to deal with a lot of struggles through your childhood.

everyone loved your older sister more, praised her, cherished her, spoiled her, gave her whatever she wants.

you, on the other hand, had to work hard in terms of getting what you wanted.

you always looked up to your older sister, you can’t lie, you definitely understand why she’s getting all the attention to herself without even trying.

your mom is your favorite person, she’s actually your best friend.

some kids have hard time deciding what to answer when they’re being asked who’s their favorite parent, but you definitely know the answer already.

it’s your dad that never bats an eye to you, your mom however always tries to maintain her attention to both you and your sister. you’d do anything for your mom.

as much as you’re happy that you’re at least not a second option in your mom’s perspective, the king is the one who’s more dominant.

you’ve always tried to get your father’s attention, even for a mere second, but he always pushed you away, making you feel unworthy and sad.

at age six, you were forced to go with your mom to one of her friend’s kingdom, your neighbor kingdom.

everyone in royalty knows about the good friendship your kingdoms have, and they’re all surprised it still keeps on going.

royalty comes with a dangerous risk, people will always look at anything you do, and will not hesitate to attack if you happened to do something they’re not a fond of.

your kingdom suffered lots of wars, but won almost all of them.

at the very same day you were forced to go with your mom, you also met the person who finally had all their attention on you, the person who you could rely on no matter when.

“i’m y/n!” you extended your hand out with a smile.

“i’m sunghoon” he whispered and you tilt your head. he wasn’t shaking your hand and you couldn’t even hear him.

“what?”

“i’m sunghoon”

“i cant hear you!!” you shout and put your ear really close to his mouth.

“i’m sunghoon!” he shouted into your ear and you fell down while holding your ear.

“you did that on purpose didn’t you!” you pout and he laughed.

that’s when you realized his cute smile and the little dimples that grew on his cheeks.

he was cute, a cute and shy prince, you could get along perfectly with him.

and you actually did. you spent the rest of your visit just roaming around their castle.

he introduced you his six brothers, they were all very nice and funny, but only sunghoon interested you.

he told you about his interests and you told him about yours.

“i want to learn how to skate!” he said and you noticed his eyes growing in excitement while talking about it.

“it sounds really interesting!” you smiled and cheered him.

“what about you?”

“i actually don’t know” you sighed, “i want my father to pay more attention to me”

“who needs your father when you have me? i’ll be always here for you” he smiled.

“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”

“promise me!” you held out your pinky and he locked his with yours, “i think promises are stupid, but only for you i promise to never leave you side”

“why are they stupid?”

“because sometimes you regret them, or even forget them, and you cant keep them forever”

growing up with sunghoon was something you could never explain.

having to suffer your father’s comparisons between you and your sister was something, but having to see sunghoon going through puberty was something else. scarier indeed.

the both of you were inseparable, to the point where your parents even started talking about marriage between the two of you when you were twelve.

every now and then in your teenage years, you’d come around his castle, your second home.

whenever you were pissed off with your father or just wanted some quiet, you’d find yourself going back to sunghoon, only he knew how to make you feel ten times better.

“what are you reading?” he asked you.

you were laying your head on his lap as he sat under a tree, it was a peaceful day and you wanted to enjoy some time with him.

“just some fairytale stories” you put your book on your stomach and looked at him who was already looking down at you.

“wishing it was you?” he teased.

you rolled your eyes and smacked the book on his head, “fairytales are the best!”

you returned to read the book while he kept staring at you.

“read for me” he asked and you looked at him, sharing an eye contact.

“hey”

“hm?”

“why do you always look at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever saw”

sunghoon coughed a bit and looked away, “just start reading please, im interested”

“the princess then took the prince’s hand and held it tightly, slowly closing the gap between them and leaning in for a kiss—“

“never mind! i’ll just go sleep” sunghoon threw you off him and laid down next to you.

“you could’ve done that nicely!” you scoffed and he laughed.

he can’t explain it, but something about you makes him feel warm and comfortable. he loves your company more than anything else in this world and there’s nothing he loves more than staring at your gorgeous face.

spending a few years together made him long for you more and more every day that he’s not next to you.

he fell in love with you, and he fell hard.

you weren’t better either, every day without sunghoon for you felt like eternity.

he’s the only person you can see your future with, the only person who loves you for who you are and the only person that has his full attention on you.

you trust him more than you trust yourself and you family members.

on royal events, you’d be acting like a married couple, shooing away the singles royals that wants to catch you.

you belong to sunghoon and sunghoon belongs to you.

“it’s nice to meet you prince sunghoon” one filthy princess introduced herself to sunghoon while you stood by his side, holding his arm.

“likewise, meet my wife, y/n” he said, clearly uninterested in the princess but as soon as he looked over his side and met your eyes a smile formed on his face.

the princess scoffed and went away, finally letting you and sunghoon laugh it off.

“did you see the way she looked at you when you said you have a wife?” you held a hand over your chest, out of breath because of the amount of air you let out.

“please, it was so funny i’ll remember it for long” he nodded and you continued making jokes about everyone around you.

you shared your first kiss with sunghoon when you were fifteen.

“i love cherry blossoms” you said as you walked together with sunghoon under the cherry blossoms.

it was one of your favorite things to do with him, walking through the long road, hand in hand.

“and i love you” he let out.

“what?”

“what?” he repeated after you.

“what did you sa-“

he cut you off with a kiss, your first kiss.

cherry blossoms fell from the trees and the wind caressed your skin.

his lips were soft, locked with your lips. it was perfect, the kind of fairytale you were always wishing you could have finally came true, with the person you loved the most.

when you parted your lips to get some air, both of you giggled and he put his forehead against yours.

“i said i love you” he smiled.

“i love you too”

regardless of the sudden confession, you decided to stay as friends, and when the both of you will feel ready, you’d try it out.

at age sixteen, your mother’s condition started to go downhill. she got sick and had to take medical exams every now and then, ever since then, you decided to spend time with her as much as you could.

“good morning mom! how are you feeling today?” you asked with a huge smile on your face when you saw your mother.

“feeling as usual, nothing new” she gave you a weak smile, “have you eaten yet?”

you shook your head, “i was at the garden after father had his daily complains over me, i needed to take some breathes”

your mother nodded and hugged you, “i’m sorry your father is like that, if being a selfish father was a competition he’d definitely win”

both of you giggled and spent a few hours together.

you never told sunghoon anything about your mother’s condition, every time he’d ask about her well-beings you’d say she’s doing well but she’s too busy with duties, and he’d suspect nothing.

at the age seventeen, your mother’s condition worsened, she had doctors around her all the time.

“hello mother” you smiled.

“y/n! good morning” she tried to smile back.

“how are you—“

“i must ask you something before it’s too late” she cut you off.

“what is it?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while, and it might be silly and selfish of me to ask you to do that” she sighed, “please promise me you’re going to marry sunghoon”

“what?” you asked confused.

“he’s treating you well y/n, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you happier than when you’re with him. you’re perfect for each other” she nodded, “i don’t have much time left, hearing you promising you’d marry the man who makes you the happiest, would help me leave peacefully, to know that you’re going to live the life you deserve”

“i promise mom, i promise i’ll marry him but please, you have much time left, don’t say such nonsense!”

your mother hugged you and thanked you. guess it wasn’t so well-hidden that you were in love with sunghoon.

on one of the days your father called you. before walking inside his room you rolled your eyes, what kind of a complain he has now?

“hello father” you looked at him coldly.

“y/n,” he called, “i need to ask you to do something”

“huh?” you looked over him confused, “you never ask me for favors”

“your sister is too busy with her duties, so i trust you with this one” he shortly explained.

“okay,” you nodded, “what is it?”

“i need you to come with me to visit the other neighbor kingdom—“

“but we were never on good terms with them, they’re hybe’s kingdom biggest rivals too!” you cut him off.

“they’re the only ones that can help us with your mother’s condition. we must do anything we can to help her” your father sighed, “they have a son who’s interested in you, they requested to see you too”

you shook your head, “i’m not interested in him—“

“this is the only way to help your mother!” he shout and you backed away.

“what about hybe kingdom! can’t they help in any kind of way?” you argued.

your father shook his head, “they can’t do anything about it, and they must not know about your mother’s condition”

“so going to the rival kingdom and risking your good friendship is better?”

“you’re coming with me and it’s final”

a few days before your visit in your neighbor kingdom, sunghoon came over.

before he went to search for you, he heard two servants talking about something that drawn him to it.

“did you hear about y/n’s mother’s condition?” one of them said.

“it keeps on getting worse, poor y/n! i heard she has to go to the other kingdom to ask for their help together with the king” the other replied.

“i heard they’re the only ones that could help! hybe kingdom knows nothing about it because they don’t want to bother them too much, i also heard the son of the other kingdom is interested in y/n, what about prince sunghoon!”

“poor them, i just hope she won’t end up with their son. i was rooting for y/n and sunghoon endgame”

“agree, i also heard their daughter is interested in sunghoon! this is risky” she shook her head.

“y/n is strong, she won’t marry the son i just know it” they both nodded their heads and sunghoon slowly walked back.

he refuses to believe what he just heard. y/n’s mother’s condition worsens? y/n marrying someone else? he’ll never let that happen.

“sunghoon!” you called and hugged him, “i was searching for you instead of you searching for me”

sunghoon was not responding, he was too deep in thoughts and didn’t know how to stop them.

“sunghoon?” you waved your heads in front of him and he finally came back on track.

“i was just thinking about something” he smiled.

“would you like to talk about it?” you smiled warmly at him.

how could you smile so widely when youre going through all of this?

“it’s not something that should bother you” he smiled and kissed your cheeks.

you spent the rest of the day looking out for sunghoon, he was different today, as much as he didn’t want to show it, you noticed.

the next day sunghoon found himself standing in front of his biggest rival kingdom. he never thought he’d have to step his leg into this kingdom, but he’d do anything for you as long as he could.

“park sunghoon! i’ve never thought i’d witness a hybe royal inside my kingdom!” the king teased.

sunghoon closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, “i need your help and you’re the only one that can help me” he said firmly.

“we’re rivals, why would i want to help you?”

“because i have something you want” he sighed, “i’ll be getting my kingdom sooner or later, i’ll give it to you together with my crown”

“you’ll lose your crown for something possibly stupid?”

“i need you to help princess y/n’s kingdom. the queen’s condition is getting worse. i heard you gave the best doctors that can help her”

the king laughed, “you’re doing this for y/n and not for yourself? what a stupid prince you are!”

sunghoon looked away, fighting the urge not to stab the king and fight him.

“very well, i will help in exchange of your crown”

their agreement was that the king will send his best doctors to help your mother, and as soon as sunghoon will get his crown, he’ll give it to the king. if one of them breaks the agreement, it’s off.

a few days passed, and it was supposed to be your visit day in the other kingdom, except that it got canceled.

“did you tell anyone about this visit?!” your father shout at you and you shook your head.

“how come he sent me this stupid letter saying that if we step into his kingdom he’ll declare a war!”

“i don’t know! i did nothing!” you argued.

“something stopped him, more like someone! i’m going to find out who did this!” your father roamed outside his room, slamming the door harshly and you flinched.

a week passed and your mother’s condition wasn’t doing any better, the doctors told you it was already time to say goodbye but you refused to do so, you refuse to believe you won’t be able to see your mother everyday soon.

everything was too overwhelming and stressful, you decided to go to your second home, you needed some comfort and it’s been a while since you saw sunghoon anyway.

“what are you up to?” you found him in the castle’s garden, deep in thoughts.

“just thinking about something”

“by something you mean me?” you teased and he smiled, not answering your question because the answer is quite obvious.

you then hugged him tightly, and sighed deeply as you rest your forehead on his shoulder.

“is everything okay?” he caressed your back slowly.

“my mom isn’t doing well lately” you finally confessed. you had to let it all out and tell sunghoon the truth.

“she’s sick, too sick. and the last week was such a roller coaster, her condition isn’t getting better and it’s our time to say our final goodbyes, i’m not ready for that sunghoon” you sobbed, “i’m sorry for dumping it all on you and telling you all of this now when it’s late i just—“

“it’s okay” even though he already knew about your mother’s condition, he was so glad that you finally opened it up and told him, “i’m here for you”

he held you tighter than before and whispered sweet comfort words that always knew how to calm you down.

right after you left he thought about what happened.

he made a deal with the other kingdom, the king was supposed to help your mother, how come her condition worsened? something didn’t make sense to him at all.

“sunghoon!” his father called him and sunghoon rushed to the king’s room.

“yes father?”

“you’re getting married to our biggest rivals daughter and didn’t even tell us? are you out of your mind?” he shout.

sunghoon could’ve swore that in that moment his heart stopped beating, “what?” he asked in disbelief.

“the other king sent us a letter! inviting us to your wedding with his daughter! we’ve never been so humiliated, how could you betray your family?” his mother interrupted.

sunghoon shook his head, “there must be a misunderstanding—“

“how come?” the king asked, “your name is written on that letter! and it was probably sent to all the other kingdoms!!”

“what about y/n?!” his mother asked and his eyes widened.

“y/n…?”

“how do you think she’ll feel receiving that letter? huh?”

“no, no! none of this is true! you must believe me!”

“explain yourself then! we’re here waiting!” sunoo, one of sunghoon’s brother argued.

sunghoon sighed, shutting his eyes tightly and clenching his fists, “y/n’s mother, the queen, her condition is getting worse. she’s been awfully sick for a few years already, i overheard their servants talking about how only the other kingdom could help her because they don’t want to bother us. so i went to them myself, i made a deal with the king that he’ll help the queen in exchange of my throne—“

“are you out of your—“

“jay! let him talk” the queen shushed him.

“yes! i was ready to give up my crown if it means i can help her in any way!” sunghoon sighed, “the king obviously did nothing and lied to me! and now apparently im ‘marrying his daughter’ you know damn well that’s never going to happen because i want to marry y/n!”

sunghoon’s mother wiped out her tears and hugged sunghoon, “i’m sorry you had to go through this, you could’ve told us—“

“i didn’t want to bother you too, this story is complicated than you think”

“what about y/n’s mother’s condition?” the king asked quietly.

“y/n said it’s been getting worse, they started to say their final goodbyes” sunghoon whispered and the room became quiet, as a respect for the queen.

“you should go to her, to check on her” heeseung suddenly spoke.

“yeah, i bet she needs someone by her side right now” jungwon added.

sunghoon nodded and with his parents’ approval he went to your kingdom.

he searched for you around and saw you staring at your garden, he smiled for himself and tapped your shoulder.

“hey” he said.

“what are you doing here?” you asked coldly.

“what?” he tilt his head, “i’m here to visit you”

“don’t you have a wedding to go get prepared to?” you scoffed, “go away park, you’re not welcomed here anymore”

sunghoon had been stabbed a few times in his life, but your words hurt him more than ten stabs at once.

“you have to listen to me i—“

“there’s nothing to explain! i got the letter, saw your name on it and it was enough for me to understand this was all a game for you” you shout, “i can’t believe i actually believed your bullshit”

“i hate you, park sunghoon” you spit out, nothing but hate is in your fierce glance at him. he just chuckled, “you don’t mean that”

“oh i do,” you nodded, “and to think that i actually promised my mom i’ll be marrying you” you chuckled in disbelief.

“looking back at that promise, i realize why you used to believe that promises are stupid” you added.

“i’m sorry” he apologized, “sorry isn’t going to change anything, is it?”

“y/n—“

“just get out, please” you were being nice, asking him to leave and pointing your hands to the door although he already knew where to go.

sunghoon didn’t want to bother you, he thought you’d probably relax in a day or two, and he’d be able to talk it out with you.

you can’t just erase all your feelings and delete all your memories after so many years, right?

as soon as he got out he went to the other kingdom, to finally get some sense into that stupid, useless king.

“park sunghoon! so nice to see you my son-in-law!” the king said and sunghoon only wanted to punch his face.

“wedding? with your daughter? son-in-law? you’re out of your fucking mind!” he spit out.

the king only laughed in his face, “why? wouldn’t you like to be my son? i’ll take good care of you”

sunghoon rolled his eyes, “the deal is canceled, you won’t get any crown or another kingdom, fix whatever you did, you ruined my life anyway and you never even helped y/n’s mother”

“oh but i feel like i haven’t ruined your life enough”

“cut it off, we both know my kingdom will finish you once we’ll declare a war”

“what makes you think that?”

“i did” another voice was heard in the room.

sunghoon’s father stepped in and put his hand on sunghoon’s shoulder.

“and i’m afraid i also know too many secrets about you, old friend” he teased, “leave my son alone, and don’t you dare ruin his life again. he did a mistake asking for your help but he did what he had to do”

sunghoon’s father then dragged him out of the kingdom back to theirs.

right after sunghoon left your room, you went out to breathe and relax your brain a bit.

how could sunghoon do this to you? everything he ever said to you, every hug, every joke, was it all a lie to him?

there must be a reason behind it, but you’re too hurt to even care about it. no reason could be enough for you right now.

you decided to focus on being next to your mother, spending her last days together and showing her the brightest side of you, you didn’t tell her anything and she didn’t suspect anything so you just left it be.

three days passed ever since you last heard from sunghoon.

you miss him, you miss everything and anything about him. you needed his comfort the most right now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to see him.

“y/n, sunghoon is here to pay a visit” one of your servants informed you.

“tell him i don’t want to see him,” you sighed, “and tell him to take care” you whispered that line.

you refused to see him in any cost. you’re too angry to even care about his feelings right now. all you could feel is betrayal, and hurt.

in one of the next days, you went out to the garden to read some books and write on your diary.

when you got back inside the castle you saw your mother’s doctors standing with their heads down.

“we’re sorry your highness, we did everything we could” they said and couldn’t even make eye contact with you as their eyes were full with tears.

you froze there for a few minutes, you knew this day would come but could never prepare yourself enough for that. you didn’t want to believe this day would come so fast.

“please tell me i’m dreaming” you told them but they shook their heads, “we’re very sorry your—“

they got cut off when they saw you falling to the ground, sobbing and covering your eyes.

you were crying like a little child who lost their ice cream, refusing to get up and screaming at everything.

the last few days were just about you and her, she taught you everything you needed to know about life and royalty.

“you need to be a good wife to sunghoon!” she smiled.

“mom! he has to be a good husband before that!”

“you’re right! if he’s being mean tell him you’d leave him and take all of his money” she joked and you giggled.

“i don’t need money”

“you don’t, but you do need to annoy him and help him realize he’s nothing without you!”

all of those memories past by your mind all day, thinking about your dear mother, who was there for you when no one else was.

“who’s going to be by my side now, mom?” you asked quietly, “i already miss you so much”

it was dinner time in hybe’s kingdom, all seven brothers sat together with their parents.

“sunoo, we’ve found the perfect wife for you! you’re going to meet her at the ballroom on ni-ki’s birthday!! isn’t that exciting?” the queen clapped in excitement.

“yeah, very exciting!” sunoo tried to sound cheerful, but failed miserably in sunghoon’s eyes.

he pitied his younger brother for being the only one who’s being forced to someone he doesn’t even know.

sunoo explain multiple times to his parents that he wants to marry someone out of love, and that he believes that when it’s time, he’ll meet the one for him. but his parents turned deaf to his thoughts.

“i already met her once, she’s really pretty! the perfect pair for you!”

“your highness” a few servants came into the room and interrupted the dinner.

“is it important? we’re having dinner right now—“

“queen (name) of (name) kingdom is no longer with us” the servants lowered their heads as a respect and the king got up from his seat instantly.

sunghoon’s eyes widened, he was left speechless and froze in his place.

“we’ll be going to pay our respects tomorrow morning together, prepare yourselves” the king said and left the dining room.

sunghoon didn’t know what to do. it has already been a week and he’s been trying to reach out to you, but you rejected him every time.

he sent you letters but didn’t get any back. he was hopeless.

what is he supposed to do now? he didn’t even say his last goodbye to his mother-in-law.

the next day, you received loads of letters from loads of kingdoms, thanking the queen for her service and mourning her death.

hybe’s kingdom however, came personally to comfort you and the rest of your family.

the king and the queen, and six of their children. yes, only six of them. one of them was missing.

park sunghoon didn’t come to comfort you.

“we’re very sorry to hear the devastating news, the queen was the kindest soul we’ve ever got to meet” the king shook your father’s hands and pat his back.

the six sons came to you and hugged you. you hugged them back and broke down. the six sons already became your brothers long time ago, you felt safe around them.

“we’re sorry y/n, we’re here for you now” heeseung, the oldest one said with a comforting smile.

as much as you were thankful for them, you were hoping to see a certain person, a person who didn’t even bother showing up.

it only added up to your anger on him, how could he do that? what happened to always being there for you?

“sunghoon felt a bit sick and unwell today, he couldn’t get up from his bed, he really wanted to come” the queen smiled weakly at you and you returned the smile.

you spent the rest of the day with your six brothers, completely forgetting about your father and sister, they were here to comfort you and be with you.

“sunoo,” you called out, “hm?” he answered quietly.

“is sunghoon really sick?” you asked and he nodded, “i think the news about your mother caught him off guard, he couldn’t even speak after he heard the news”

you pressed your lips together and nodded, “please wish him well, i hope he’ll get better as soon as possible”

“i will do that” he smiled warmly at you.

just because you’re hurt by him, doesn’t mean you don’t care about him. he still holds a big place in your heart.

the next days passed by slowly, you spent most of your time in your room, sometimes even refusing to get out for a whole day.

sunghoon crossed your mind every day. your last words to him crossed your mind every day too.

you said you hate him, but you lied. you love him, you love him too much that it hurts.

you feel too betrayed and hurt by him but it’s somehow the last thing that interests you.

you just need to see him and hug him. but your ego wouldn’t let you.

so you waited for him to fight for you, you knew he’d try again, and again, and again, that’s just the person that he is.

after a while of isolating yourself in your room, you decided to get out and read some books.

that’s what your mom would want you to do, to move on and start a new life.

as you were reading your book, you heard a familiar voice calling you.

“y/n,” your heart skipped a beat. you were too scared to turn around and see the person you were so hoping to see for so long.

“please tell me you’re not who i think you are” you breathed slowly.

“i’m sorry” he let out.

you finally decided to turn around and you met his eyes. it’s been a while since you last saw him, you missed staring at his beautiful face, and his beautiful moles that made his face look ten times better, his kissable lips that always felt soft against yours, you missed everything about him.

“please,” he whispered, “please hear me out this time”

you blinked a few times, still not believing that he’s actually in front of you.

“you didn’t show up when i needed you the most, you betrayed me and lied to me, why would i listen to any of your excuses now?” you argued, but deep down you wanted to hear him so badly.

“y/n please” he pleaded, “just listen to what i have to say, and it’s up to you wether to believe it or not, just please, i don’t want us to break apart without you hearing the reason behind it”

you let out a few tears to fall and slowly nodded, he was right, you never let him to explain himself, you were too selfish and cared about your feeling that you didn’t even care about his.

he told you the whole story from the start, and you were sobbing your heart out.

“i’m sorry,” you let out, “i’m sorry for refusing to listen to you, i’m sorry for rejecting you so many times, i’m sorry for telling you that i hate you—“

“stop apologizing stupid,” he chuckled, “it’s over now isn’t it? we’re even now right?”

“it’s over now, promise me you won’t ever hide from me something like that again” you extended out your pinky.

“but you said that promises are stu—“

“not when it comes to you” you smiled.

instead of locking his pinky with you he cupped your face and pulled you into a kiss.

“i love you y/n, i’m sorry it took me a while to get back to you” he whispered.

“i love you too sunghoon, im sorry for rejecting you multiple times” you giggled.

“finally! get married already and leave this kingdom please!” you heard your sister in the back.

“i’m sorry that my sister can’t be a bit more like your brothers” you awkwardly smiled and sunghoon laughed.

“she’s right though, let’s get married as soon as possible and get our own kingdom” he pecked your lips.

“IN TWO DAYS??”

“well you said you wanted to get married as soon as possible! i already planned everything!” sunghoon’s mother smiled and hugged the both of you.

“can’t say i’m not biased, i’ve been shipping the two of you ever since you both met” the king added.

“are they gonna have babies as soon as possible now too?”

“NI-KI!!!!”

TAG-LIST ; @jaeneohee @hsgwrld @enhastolemyheart @enhacatalog @kaykay11sworld @ipoststuffandyeah @beomsbeanie @queestionmark @ineedsomezzz @yenqa @nshmrarki @asteriaskingdom @ikayyyyyy @mrchweeee @artiiistyxoo @6yulight @woncoree (bold means cannot be tagged)

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @lovelovelovebts @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 (bold means cannot be tagged)

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[softness-and-shattering]

Started playing Hollow Knight recently. Been watching a Lets Play and enjoying it a lot, so ok Ill try it out. Im enjoying it a lot. The first few times I sat down to play, I couldnt go for too long because my skill was obviously as minimal as you can get and there wasnt much room to explore without beating bosses, getting a lamp etc.

Today I went from outside Greenpath to like 6 attempts at the first Hornet fight. I LOVE Hornet. And I kind of knew there would be/was looking out for a bench, because it was just too far from the previous bench, to go halfway through the whole area just to get back to the boss fight. Also I had like 800 geo to nervously side eye, and I was right, stag station right under Hornet room. Also I LOVE the stag. I do not love Zote, who I rescued. I liked that the big fly? boss spits out little ones so I could hide under the platform and heal. And Im getting better at the jump strike. Im just too impatient + tired after all that to beat Hornet. I keep getting the thought of, just keep hitting her she'll go down if Im fast enough, but she just has too many fast attacks and too much health, it doesnt work. But I kept panicking and just going whack whack whack oops Im dead again. I do appreciate that theres quite a lot of time to heal if you time it right. Im just so impatient today! (Im struggling w access to adhd meds. Impulse control. hard to play patiently which is tbh the least of my concerns, but idk. Theres something nice about having a struggle thats not so vital as other things im struggling to do. Yeah I keep whacking Hornet and dying but ultimately it doesnt matter, the game is so pretty, the music so beautiful, what do I have to complain about. Like the fights and stuff is tricky, but its not stressful tricky, theres a calmness to the whole thing. I am still in brackets here oop). Ive also been continuing my real-life stretches some of which have now upgraded after a few months to very basic exercises, and what do you know, im feeling better, and stronger, and Im able to move around a lot easier (not much stamina yet but still, being able to twist and move dynamically again is GREAT), and theres like, endorphins happening, like its NICE to exist in my body, not just weird and awkward and painful. Im having a good time here! Hopefully get more support work soon too! Things are looking up and its a long time coming and a LOT of hard work coming. Its still hard work but this is one of those moments you get to a rest point on the mountain and look down safely and marvel at just how far youve come. This feels like a pretty big landing. Im admiring the view. I feel safe, in my guts.

Healing is possible yall. Its really really possible. and its GOOD. Its been....5? 6? years since the worst of it, I think? Theres no correct timeline. The time will pass anyways. Its very non linear. Its like climbing a mountain (i know very little about climbing a mountain), you dont just start somewhere and walk straight ahead in a line until you get to the top. You gotta go up and down and around and backtrack and its not sliding backwards, its ALL progress no matter what direction its in. Youre still moving towards the peak when you go down a slope, when you rest, when you go back to pick up something you forgot (idk if thats a real thing in serious climbing/mountaineering). Sometimes you gotta hole up for a week because theres a snow storm. Thats still in service of your life and your goal. And gaming is part of it, for me. Partly distraction, partly as like, a signal to myself that its ok, theres energy to spare, we can learn new useless skills, and have fun, and experience art. Theres time. Theres safety. We're not running from tigers, we can stop and breathe and take it in.

[fictionfixations]

im BACk at the wuthering waving

ngl i really want to join scar he seems very interesting (unfortunately we dont have that choice. no but IMAGINE a game like this but choices we make matter. like like yknow uhh. i mean the only one i can think of rn is like. detroit become human, which has a bunch of branching paths. so like imagine a choice can lead to a wildly different outcome. and so like. we can choose to trust scar or something. IMAGINE. i mean that'd probably go into spoiler-y territory considering idk one side might say something, the other might say something contradictory. or like something that players on a different path dont learn so its complicated. and also probably very hard to actually do. but i just. really adore games like that ngl)

yes i havent even made it to 1.1 yet LMFAO

anyway i dont know what they did but oh my god its so much less laggier (the only thing of note is that im stuck in the loading screens for longer. but i mean honestly i have other things i can do in the meantime while waiting so its not a big deal)

like. i can. actually go through cutscenes and its not just slideshow bullshit that i have to go watch someone else go through it for the cutscene (you know the cutscene where we see general jiyan(?) fighting while we're like nowhere near him? there was so much delay cause it was struggling to shift to jiyan cause it was showing the other stuff with i think the tacet discords? instead so the voices were playing and im just sat here like wtf is going on i dont even see yall what are you doing)

and and i can actually fight and know that my failings are not that its lagging me so i cant dodge. its just that im bad at dodging LOL

also i cant remember but im pretty sure you cant dodge by jumping i think youre meant to dash from it but uhm

i briefly played the solo leveling game so i keep pressing space to either start sprinting or to dodge an attack. which. its kinda funny cause i find myself pressing space playing hsr which is a game you cannot jump in. man, the confusion of playing games with different buttons for actions so when you switch to another you press the wrong button. funniest shit ever ngl (i remember i played genshin and like this one roblox game. decaying winter. and. so they had different buttons for picking up stuff, cant remember which one was e or f. but so. i press the pick up for genshin button out of habit. and then it causes me to place down a bomb LMFAO. i cant pick it up. and if i press f again [its more if i hold it but still] it explodes so i have to pray i didnt spam it, or pray that i didnt accidentally stick it on me because that can happen haha. ..or even that i didnt stick it on a teammate on accident cause friendly fire is a thing)

i feel spoiled though cause hsr and solo leveling have auto so i can just chime in occasionally while something else fights for me. but its like. games like wuwa and genshin (and solo leveling because even with auto i control me. i just have it on because i tend to forget to use like the skills) you have to spam attack. so my hand hates me LMFAO (me typing all this out doesnt help either but uhm i dont know the meaning of giving my hands a break)

anyway pulling plans: Jinhsi, Scar (hopefully), and Camellya..? i think? the the the flower person who called us a seed LMFAO (i keep wanting to think of her as phantylia because for whatever reason the name 'camellya' is hard to remember so uh if i ever misspell..)

also another thing of note. it kinda keeps tripping me up when the dialogue advances without auto. i mean it makes sense cause its going through it along with the character's movement so its not like they can just stop them from moving waiting for you to go to the next dialogue box

but sometimes im doing other stuff and listening to the dialogue but im going to go back to read it because a mix of voiced dialogue and reading the dialogue myself helps me remember best

but uh i get distracted. very easily. so sometimes i need to reread it multiple times to get it to stick, so i kind of wished wuwa had like a log that you could check to go back through peoples dialogue during the actual convo.

genuinely cant remember if its been like that in 1.0 but to be fair theres only so much room (and its still readable anyway)

i wanted to try speedrunning to act 7 (tbh i dont think im even at a high enough like union level(? i think thats what its called) to go through most of the story) but ive underestimated how tired id be

its probably so pixel-y im sorry its cause i dont play full screen so its all smaller-ized (and probably because im playing on the lowest graphics)

but like im sorry jinhsi its just. scar. is. so. cool. AGHHHh

off topic but it always bothers me how in slowed down scenes like this or where characters are in a sort of stasis where they're doing an action but its slowed down for whichever reason (you can see it in anime a bunch) and the character talks a shit ton and im just sat here like how are you speaking that much in this time frame what ???

like the card cant be moving THAT slow can it?? or if so couldnt someone just strike it down before it hits or something?? maybe i shouldnt be trying to apply logic to this. or maybe it is possible and im just very tired so i cant think straight idk

now this is in no way a complaint (i do like this scene) im just nitpicky and have never had the opportunity to express my thoughts about things like this ngl

anyway uh. upside to wuwa in case this turned out to be a very negative post (in which oops)

its never . i. cant recall the terminology. you know when too much is running and your laptop just turns everything off abruptly?

its never done that solo leveling has (and now i never play it without a fan) hsr has but only when ive put it at high graphics cause i wanted to experience it if genshin has, i genuinely cant remember

i cant read roman numerals except 123 idk what act this is but wooo im stopping here now

[eternalera]

hi Pup!!

We’ve finished season 3 (we had a weekend with absolutely nothing to do lol)

Man, Season 3 had a lot happening

THEY TOOK BOOM BOY. (they got him back but still-)

I’ve developed a new respect for Bakugo, there was definitely lots of character development for him this season

Elsa can use fire and ice at the same time now? (I’m pretty sure that’s what I saw in the provisional licence exam)

Bunny boy has a unique fighting style now :D

Also what is Toga planning to do with his blood? I thought it was for making Nomu’s (I definitely spelt that wrong but you get what I mean) but it seems that those are made by All For One… she can transform into others with their blood but she didn’t get much… hm brain wheels are spinning…

Dabi’s kinda like an evil Endeavour (although the real one’s not that far off tbh)

Also also-

When the Compress villain has people in the beads (not sure if that’s what they actually are or not) what would happen if they shattered? Would the person die or be released? Also what does the person inside the bead experience? Is it just like suddenly being in a new location or like sleeping?

Following up from that, when they were dragging Bakugo through Kurogiri’s portal, why didn’t he try fight back at all? I get that Dabi had a hand on his neck but surely an explosion quirk would give you at least a little bit of fire resistance due to the heat explosions make

Boom Boy is in on the secret o.o

Also no more balloon man :c

Follow up from that- how does All Might eat/drink??? Didn’t he get his lungs wrecked and lose his stomach?

Oh also Kota-

Kota’s cool :)

Almost forgot entirely but is the hero Best Jeanist dead? I’m pretty sure he his but idk for sure

Anyway, that’s the season 3 update :D

OMG OMG OMG IM GONNA TRY SO HARD NOT TO SPOIL BECAUSE AAAA!!!

I’ve developed a new respect for Bakugo, there was definitely lots of character development for him this season

THIS!! ive seen a lot of bakugo hate and stuff with people saying that he has no character development but that is JUST not true and it gets even better in later seasons where he does get humbled (quite a bit) and its just *chefs kiss* amazing!! of course he's still aggressive and competitive but it morphs from competition out of hate to respect (hopefully that doesnt spoil too much for you and if it does im really sorry-)

Bunny boy has a unique fighting style now :D

YESS!! our little springtrap/bunny boio is now adapting and evolving in this season and quite honestly i could not be more prouder of him and his endeavorsss!!

Dabi’s kinda like an evil Endeavour (although the real one’s not that far off tbh)

omg he totally is!! like basically the only difference is that one wants to do good and while he does try to he ends up becoming a rather shitty father in the process and with dabi its that hes just a villain cause why not yknow?

When the Compress villain has people in the beads (not sure if that’s what they actually are or not) what would happen if they shattered? Would the person die or be released? Also what does the person inside the bead experience? Is it just like suddenly being in a new location or like sleeping?

hmmm that is a good point, although i dont know if they can be shattered, that being said though since his power is compression i do imagine that the bead is sorta like a crystal trapping them once he compresses them so once its broken i think that it would mean that they would be released?? idk man hopefully not killed-

Following up from that, when they were dragging Bakugo through Kurogiri’s portal, why didn’t he try fight back at all? I get that Dabi had a hand on his neck but surely an explosion quirk would give you at least a little bit of fire resistance due to the heat explosions make

okay!! explanation here on dabi's quirk, his quirk is cremation meaning that his fire is hotter than basically anyone elses in the main or side cast (even endeavor) in fact its so hot that it actually tends to burn his own skin (hence the scars). if even he can't handle his own quirk properly bakugo had no chance of fighting against him not to mention the state that deku and the rest of the class were in. fighting back would've put them all in a worse state and in the end some of them might've been killed.

so the reason he told deku to stay back (and didnt fight back himself) was actually because it was really the only option that they had because deku's arms were ruined and well... yeah the rest of the class is NOT beating the LOV. it was the only option that he had if he wanted to stay alive and he wanted the others to stay alive. not to mention that they were most likely all tired from training before so you have to keep that in mind. hopes this helps :D

Follow up from that- how does All Might eat/drink??? Didn’t he get his lungs wrecked and lose his stomach?

... yeah i have no clue- he is a mystery :P

Almost forgot entirely but is the hero Best Jeanist dead? I’m pretty sure he his but idk for sure

:)

ANYWAYSSSS AAAA im so excited for you to find out everything that happens because all the twists and plots and stuff are just soooo gooddd!!

[roseworth]

As one of the most Rose Wilson blogs (excellent taste) what r ur thoughts on the first issue of her Knight Terrors ?

my biggest thoughts on it are just that its not very interesting </3 there are a few things i dont like about it (the lack of lili 😔 but ill circle back to that in a sec) but overall ?? it just didnt really do a lot. theres not a lot to dislike but theres also not a lot to like

but i can excuse the fact that theres not a lot in it given that this is the first time rose is getting the spotlight in like 15 years so not a lot of people are gonna know anything about her backstory so they had to make it accessible to people that dont know her. and i get that

like batman's knight terrors tie-in could delve a lot deeper into his backstory and feelings bc. its batman. everyone knows batman. he has arguably the most famous backstory in western media. but not everyone knows ravager so they had to make it very new reader friendly and i understand that, especially since her biggest trauma (getting drugged by slade) isnt even canon right now (😔) and her other big trauma (her mom dying) is a little more complicated than the story they wanted to tell (mostly because. wade.)

but i wish they had gone a little deeper into like. her feelings. being trapped in a nightmare that you have to escape from is one of my favorite tropes ever so i was soooooooo excited when this book was announced, but it just,, didnt really do anything. there was so much that could've been done with rose protecting and subsequently being betrayed by her younger self, not to mention the whole idea of slade hunting her down. but they didnt really use it? i was hoping for more like,,,, character exploration. but it didnt really deliver

on the other hand though. this one was def trying to do more of a plot than some of the others. like for example the jason & tim one has the basic plot of "theyre in a nightmare" but other than that its really just being used as a way to make them go through their fears n give them some character exploration (side note i wish they had been given two separate ones but thats a whole other post) whereas the ravager one is talking about murder man using rose as a conduit and trying to get into the waking world and making it like. a story instead of just introspection. so it definitely felt like the first issue was setting a lot up for more that will (hopefully) happen in issue two.

anyways back to her mom. again part of the reason that it would be so hard to incorporate lili into the story is that the circumstances surrounding her death would mean reintroducing the story from 30 years ago where she died, which slade wasnt there for so they couldnt wring out her daddy issues, and the fact that its only brought up like. 3 times ever again after that make it hard to reference her. not to mention deathstroke 2016 sort of retconned it that slade murdered her ????? then that was also never brought up again. so once again i understand that it would be very complicated to bring her into the story, not to mention if she showed up she would show up just to die 3 seconds later so i cant be.. too mad.

HOWEVER. they taunted me by mentioning her one (1) time then bringing up the foster parents instead. it seems like it's sort of working toward bringing her pre-52 origin back. but the foster parents were the worst part of her pre 52 origin. and also as my roommate (who hasnt read a lot of rose) pointed out, the foster parents are a deep cut. they showed up for like 3 pages 20 years ago then died and were literally never brought up again (not even a passing mention) until now. and while the story doesnt hinge on knowing who they are, i feel like theres definitely a feeling that youre missing something when you dont know the parents. so the fact that they were there at all seems really weird to me given the fact that im trying to excuse the fact that lili wasnt there. idk. its just hard to understand why brisson chose to put them there instead of lili, who had a major impact on rose's life and her death is the whole reason rose even joined slade at all. at least to me, the fact that lili wasnt there was extremely noticeable and felt wrong (not to mention the "i grew up in a brothel not a foster home" line is kinda iffy to me but maybe im reading too much into it). im still hoping she'll show up in the second issue, especially since they did specifically mention her in the first issue so maybe thats setting her up to show up in nightmare form later (<-delusional)

ok i think thats all my thoughts for now. tldr: its fine, it doesnt have a lot necessarily with it given the fact that rose isnt a well known character so they couldnt dive too deep into her character, but i felt like it wasnt really trying to do anything and it wasnt interesting. the only real problem was the fact that her mom wasnt there. but mostly im willing to wait until the second half before im too harsh on the book

[someone-called-efg]

everything i know so far regarding religion and my experiences (big post with a lot of words and some pictures too. i tried doing the image id thing so hopefully i explained it all alright) skip at your own discretion

so, for everything ive made either a comic or drawing, then i'll explain what happened a little more underneath.

~~~

first and foremost before i start, so were on the same page, visits to heaven can occur during the time someone is asleep. this could even happen to you if you see in your dream a recently passed relative (or any passed away relative in general but for the most part it happens when the passing is recent and goodbyes didnt happen for one reason or another) and if it hasnt happened to you personally yet, you probably know someone who's experienced a visit.

with that out of the way, lets get started

---

{ image id: an 8 panel comic. 1st panel shows myself with two others sat around a table, as i joke "God, if this is a sin, strike me down". 2nd panel simply says * later that night * . 3rd panel is in 1st person perspective of me in my dream, opening a door. 4th panel shows that behind the door from panel 3 that God is there floating, his hair/beard flowing into the cloud his head is casually floating on in the middle of the room. 5th panel simply shows a lighting bolt. 6th panel shows me falling through the floor. 7th panel shows me waking up in a state of panic. 8th panel simply says: TLDR: If you call upon him, he'll answer. end id }

this is a comic regarding my first visit. at the time irl i was considering becoming an atheist, so this put a solid halt in that. the reason both people with my in the 1st panel dont really have any defining features is because i was at a psych ward at the time for wanting to unalive, and they make you sign nda's there soo, thats the best i got. in the dream/visit itself i was at home, opening the door from the living room to the porch. and God wasnt just there waiting, they kinda came through the ceiling without breaking it. dont ask me how cuz even i dont know.

---

{ image id: another 8 panel comic so here goes more typing yippee! 1st panel shows God from the side, simply saying "So". 2nd comic shows God turning forward, asking "Are you alright?", as though finishing what they were saying in the 1st panel. 3rd panel shows God an i sat on a couch, and while God looks normal sized, i look tiny by comparison, showing basically the setting. 4th panel is a zoom in on me as i rub the back of my neck, saying "i mean ...". 5th panel simply tldr's what happens as i * proceeds to vent ... a lot * . 6th panel shows God saying nothing, but, they * listens to every word * . 7th panel shows me, clearly upset from venting so much, but also now parched, as i tell God "I'm sorry, I've been talking so much, my throat got dry. Do you have anything I could drink?". 8th panel shows God from the side, for the first time smiling as they say "Of course" and a fridge magically appears at opposite from where i am in comparison to them. end id }

so, not even i really knew what all happened until years lated when i asked God if that visit was a therapy session because all i remembered upon waking up after is the last two panels and afterwards, when my mom and step dad came and told me that the year for earth was 2077 and that the north pole was a desert, then we went and had a mini feast with relatives (and maybe ancestors? idk, there was a fair lot of people and i didnt recognize a lot of them so maybe?) , then i woke up. and if youre going to ask why gods eyes arent visible in this comic when they were visible in that last one, at the time of drawing this comic in particular i didnt feel deserving of him looking at me and smiling, cuz lets face it, were all a bunch of sinners here all trying to do good at least. but at the time if i remember right i had a caffeine addiction to the point i needed 8 coffee/monster energy to get me through the day (4 in the morning + 4 in the afternoon), i since went cold turkey against both.

---

{image id : a 4 panel comic because i finally learned my lesson so i dont have to type as much pog! 1st pannel shows myself and my brother (ftm) stood in Gods temple, and i casually ask "Hey, so, can I reincarnate?". 2nd panel shows god towering over both of us easily, their response is a smile with a "Yeah, sure" as they hold something glowing in their hand that i look into. 3rd panel is glitchy, as it shows a child 1st person perspective, the child is looking down, admittedly a bit overwhelmed while saying "mom, i memember my last life". 4th panel is glitchy as well, this time showing the vague image of a woman reaching out her hand presumably to the child, asking "what do you remember?". end id }

so, for a bit of context, the dream/visit didnt start out like that. it actually started at my great aunts house (who at the time was still alive but died very soon after) it wasnt her house when she was alive, but rather, her house in heaven. my godmother was also there, and i was helping her to remember how to fly because she had forgotten the lesson. so, in total there were 4 people there (my great aunt, my godmother, my brother, and myself) and mid way through me teaching how to fly, another of my brothers teleported into the room and just casually took a seat. after the lesson we went outside and walked around my great aunts heaven house, and when we walked a little ways away there was some kinda conflict, and i simply prayed and the conflict was over within under 10 secs. then as the group of my relatives and i went walking back to my great aunts house, i mentioned to my brother my thoughts of asking to reincarnate soon, and he says to me "why not go right now" and i agree, so we teleported to Gods temple and thats where the comic picks up at. what this told me is that being lgbtqia+ isnt a deadly sin, so any member of the rainbow community isnt going to hell for simply being lgbtqia+, which i see as an absolute win.

~~~

thats the most i got for when it comes to visits, which occur when someone's asleep. but, now, its time to go over a couple visions ive had (and no im not gonna talk about when i died cuz that would be 3 posts in a row, so if you wanna see any of that just check it in your own time) because its just visions, i didnt make comics, but just drawings, which, comics are drawings sure, but not all drawings are comics. and, so i stop rambling, lets get started.

---

{ image id : the great flood. as a man drowns under the fermanent from the quickly rising water level, his soul is outside the fermanent, walking up alongside his dying body, unable to help and can only comfort his souless body by watching it slowly unalive. end id }

when i saw this, i honestly saw at least a dozen others doing this too, i also watched who i could only assume was some past incarnation of myself succumb to the same fate. and for those wondering how a soul can be out when the body is clearly still alive, well, 24 hours before someone dies, their soul's already passed on to the afterlife. where the saying 'dead man walking' comes from, because for those 24 hours, the person's already dead, the rest of the world just doesn't know yet.

---

{ image id : the battle at the end of the world. vegetation is barren from the hills as a giant serpent with black scales and glowing yellow eyes makes its way through the landscape. two angels stand in the foreground, aiming their swords to the heavens, causing a pillar of light thats base covers the two. in the distance, the sky is crimson and the clouds are dark grey almost black. end id }

so. also worth mentioning that when i looked to either side of me, there were armies of God all ready for the greatest battle and ready to take part. needless to say it was overwhelming for a lot of reasons.

~~~

so, thats all really. i could get into the couple times i saw the son of God in visits, but the first time was me in a back room with boxes and he was running by and seemed to be busy and i didnt wanna bother him because of that so i didnt say anything, and the second time we were at this park near my childhood home and i asked him if him and adam are technically in a way brothers and we both ended up laughing causing me to wake up.

~~~

from all this i understand that theres stuff im not allowed to know of my visits for one reason or another, and i kinda figure its so i dont cheat at life. because if i had all the answers, than how else is life supposed to test me.

earth is a school after all, and i at least want my place earned on Gods fridge with a magnet hopefully 🤞

[dreaming-of-lu]

Hey, so ive never done an emergency request so i don't quite know what im doing. i read over your rules and it said your inbox is always open for these, if its not thats totally fine please just ignore this then. i dont even really know what to request honestly, just something with legend if thats cool? idk man i was doing good for a while but i had a classic sit down in the shower drinking jack daniels moment today, maybe run with that? idk, i've deleted and retyped this ask so many times im just gonna close my eyes and hit send

Hey there, doll 💚 Yes, my emergency requests are always open for when those had a really crappy day, need some immediate comfort and you need a pick me up from life. Whether it just requires fluff or comfort for what happened today/during the week.

Hopefully this can make your day/night a bit brighter and warm for you. Do take good care of yourself even if its baby steps! Legend is sending support your way through this💚💚

How long have you sat in the tub? You quietly count the shower tiles in your mind with heavy, tired eyes, tapping the glass bottle with no rhythm, paying no heed to the sudden sound of footsteps coming close to the shower.

"Hey," the sound of the curtains drew back a bit, catching your eyes as soft lighting peeked in alongside a notorious pair of blues and tufts of mulberry pink hair. They stared, gazing over your form that hid in the shade of the curtains before coming back to your face with silence. Legend crouched beside the tub, holding a tight grip on the curtains to keep the light from barging in.

"Do you need anything?" He asks quietly.

"You," your voice croaked, "I just...need you."

Legend quietly watches you, eyes flickering to the bottle that the finger never ceased to tap on. Listening to the soft clinks as seconds continue to pass. He gives a silent, outstretched hand, gesturing patiently for the bottle. With a weak grip, you slid it into his grasp, watching as he got up, muffled footsteps, hearing him open a cabinet and firmly shut it.

Legend comes back into view, giving his hand out to you with a wiggle of his fingers. An amused huff left your lip, ignoring the silent victory that painted his own features as you placed your hand in his. With a firm grip, he slowly hauls you up from the tub, placing his other hand, supporting you, on your back.

He rubs in an up-and-down motion, placing his cheek against your head, humming a soft melody that slowly soothed away your woes. Slowly swaying you side-to-side while rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, pressing your ear to his chest to hear his strong heartbeat that grounded you, a rhythm so beautiful than the one that had none.

"Do you want to change?" Legend inquiries softly.

"Shorts, please," you mumbled into his shoulder, nuzzling deep into his neck and heavily breathing in his scent, then releasing with a heavy exhale.

"I'll be right back; anything else?"

"Just you,"

"Very well, I'll be quick."

Legend makes his way out of the bathroom before halting underneath the door frame, turning back around to place a hand against your cheek and placing a kiss against your forehead, your cheek, then finally, your lips. Short but sweet to make you want more of his affections; you know he's not very open about them, hiding it underneath a tough exterior though you know he gives with all his heart.

It doesn't matter either way cause you know it's for you and nobody else. Legend presses one more kiss to your lips and exits the bathroom with a resounding promise,

"Once you change, we'll cuddle on the couch and do whatever else you like, okay? It's going to get better cause I'm here for you every step of the way."

[saintobio]

the new chapter is amazing. not you making yn have a disease and make her suffer more than she already has😭😭 if i was in her shoes i wouldn't know what to do, it's just pain after pain after pain.

GOD you have no idea how good it felt to see yn ignoring gojo when he tried to apologize to her. he truly deserves that. fuck him.

also, it's really awful how sera completely dismissed how he felt about his mother leaving him like come on how are you so desperate to be with him but you couldn't accept that side of him????

also i'd like to know if she has always been that awful to her mother and siblings? i know she struggles all her life but she seems really ungrateful...

bsjdnsj dw yn’s got this :’) hopefully she’ll pull through in the end. if not <//3 as for ur question, sera’s not always like that w them but she does frequently blow up these days bc of work-related stress, pressure, and gojo lmao

Anonymous said

Can I please take my bags and go live with Toji? megumi needs a stepmom💞💞💞💞✨✨✨

I would like to point out many points but I do not think I am capable enough to detail all things😭 Just imagine if s*ra became pregnant and refused to abort it ☠️ I think that Mr. Gojo is that man who would force her to do it and pay her a good sum of money to keep the silence idk

Incredible chapter! please take good care of yourself, drink plenty of fluids and rest well🥺 Thank you for writing this masterpiece, I screamed in several scenes and cried in some gshdhhshs I send you a lot of love from here, Ai 💕💕

Sorry my bad English

guroyeu said

tw // sexu*al assault and hospital/illness things

waaa i can officially say that this was the second time where i actually teared up!! having yn remembering about the death of her mother was what got me. i’ve had a similar experience, except my uncle did end up making it after a few months. the first time was when i read about yn getting sexually assaulted cause it made me remember about my experiences with it back in highschool and middle school (and from my best friends at that time also 😟 humans suck sometimes)

so, we learn more about sera and her point of view with everything that is happening in her own personal life inside her own small apartment she got for her family. i empathized with her SO much from the beginning because my family was also not very rich. but all i can say from sera’s pov is that she’s a fucking bitch. from her pov, there was a statement that said, “See, this was the difference you and her. You didn’t experience this much hardship in life for you to complain about not winning Satoru’s heart.” honestly, fuck her. the hell does she know about yn and her personal problems?? how is she gonna complain about yn not having problems and also refuse to listen to her own boyfriend that she probably doesn’t even genuinely love?? i’m pretty sure she only likes him cause of his reputation?? idk. when satoru was showing his flawed side (when he was all stressed) then sera seemed to really hate it. she obviously doesn’t want to listen to satoru’s problems because she wants to view satoru as this one oh so strong man that she can always lean on. like satoru isn’t always going to be perfect. he’s literally in love with u. there is just so much to say about sera, but i’m sure ur other asks have that covered ;)

my feelings towards gojo have been going up and down and up and down. now we know for sure he really wants to treat yn well, and that’s good!! that’s really good. but should she forgive and accept his actions? uh no lol. but i also feel bad for gojo BUT I DONT WANNA HELP SNAJNS

again, i am so so so grateful for ieri and suguru in this chapter. both of them make my heart go brr 💓💗💕💞💘 also, toji was really nice!! i’m so glad he’s yn’s comfort character in her life cause he really does make her feel at ease <33 AND I AM SO SORRY I JUST SUBMITTED MY ASK FROM WHEN I READ CHAPTER 8. i always start reading ur updates at 12-1am (when i get in bed) since my day is too chaotic for me to start reading at 7pm since that’s when it updates here. so i basically sent u 2 asks today which i am so so sorry for cause ur ask box is constantly piling up. thank u so much for this chapter ai!! i feel like yn is really doing better at letting satoru go now and i just hope the best for the best girl <3

@primmaa said

bae, i have no words. i was screaming the whole chapter AAKJSSNSBSBSBS. i hope sera actually took the plan b(wouldn't be surprised if she didn't tho). this chapter was really the turning point for all three of them. sera's true colors are starting to show, gojo's realizing his stupidity & mc is starting to put herself first now. i hope we get to see her actually be happy now that she's realized she needs to prioritize herself more.

as always ai, ur writing is amazing! please make sure u get enough rest & that u eat properly. take care!

Anonymous said

i didn’t find chapter 8 sad so i wasn’t expecting to find chapter 9 sad but i cried so much. i also can’t help but feel for sera, like yes she’s a bitch but her life is genuinely so bad and now i kinda get why she’s so jealous. also i have a feeling that after this chapter, toji will not have an important role in the story at all and might not even be in it. you mentioned a while ago, that you didn’t want to do another main character death (but u might’ve changed your mind) so i hope that y/n doesn’t die. i loved this chapter so much, make sure u take care of yourself <3

(also can i be 🪆anon if it isn’t taken plz)

@japanesevenom said

GODDAMN IT IM CRYING ITS THREE IN THE MORNING IM DYING GODDESS AI PLEASE make it a happy ending heal my heart and end poverty you’re so good at writing man I can’t even express the feelings your expressions made me feel except pain and trauma and sleep deprivation I’ll rant more in the morning if asks are still open because I have lots of heartbreak and I will never recover really y/n energy lmfao blame this on the lack of sleep to say

Anonymous said

just read ch 9! I have some things to say Abt sera. honestly as much as i hate sera, her whole ordeal of being a terrible person is low-key understandable. especially if you're within close proximity with so many rich people whose behavior in our eyes could seem awful. Terrible. but that's the most I'd go to sympathize with her lol. the rest of it? flipping out on your entire family? itd have been tolerable if her younger sibling wasn't there, like that was so uncalled for. you're having problems with your boyfriend and you take it out on your whole family? girl step back and rethink your actions. goddamn. I rlly don't like sera lol </3 I think she really needs to look at her own position here and that complaining and whining and demanding as someeone in a lesser economic position wouldn't do anything for her and would just make her own life worse.

also ai you rlly meant it when y said that 'there's nowjere else to go but up' doesn't exist in ur dictionary. now miss girl yn has a heart condition? wow. amazing. beautiful. i love sn u r doing so well 💔

Anonymous said

ngl i do feel bad for sera a little bcs i can see why she's bitter abt life and all but it doesnt mean she has the right to blame everyone for her misfortune. she cant just call our baddie y/n selfish when she got mad at her mother for buying shit meat (ik she had a frustrating day but that part was hilarious to read )😭😭 i feel like she only likes the idea of g*jo and the attention he gives her + that money 🤪 she doesnt like the emotional baggage he comes with (which ik that some ppl arent emotionally capable of dealing with other ppl's feelings and thats understandable but she didnt have to be rude) i felt bad for his furby ass when she told him to "just move on" from his childhood trauma. i was neutral abt sera at first bcs she really didnt do anything wrong but then she started to open her mouth and only shit came out of it. i dont necessarily resent her(what a lie) or mr.furby (another lie) but i am intrigued to see them fall off their rusty ass tricycle.

i love the way you write y/n so so much bcs she's just so realistic and actually feels like a real person and not just some character that was designed to please the audience. like i understand her choices bcs of the way u write her character.

anyway, i am obsessed with this series and i love you so much ai !! please take care of yourself and im so sorry to hear that someone plagiarised your work (that fucking sucks) also, i love your anons bcs they're all either so funny or smart 😭 i normally dont send asks bcs im shy both irl and on the internet but i just want to let uk that i really appreciate your work and especially you !! sending u lots of love and i hope u have a great week !!

@rchslxtt said

Another great chapter, thank you ai!❣️

I used to sympathize with Sera since I've been in her place before. Loving someone first, having them first, only for them to another woman as their end game. But now, it's a whole different story. After reading Sera’s point of view, I don't think she truly loves Gojo. Maybe she does, but only the stability she knows for sure he will give her once she married him. Like having endless amounts of money in her bank account, having not to worry over what kind of food she can eat or not worrying whether she has money to buy for it. I think Sera thinks—being born into a wealthy family will solve all your problems. She's wrong. Definitely wrong. Sera doesn't realize how lucky she is to still have both her parents even if they're “failures” as Sera portrayed them as. Having both of your parents is a luxury. Something you shouldn't take for granted. As someone who grew up rich, not wealthy, money is not the answer to everything. I'd rather not have money if I could have both of my parents back.

Back to what I said about why I used to sympathize with Sera, here's an advice. Even if you had them first doesn't necessarily mean they will love to the end. People change as well as their feeling towards you. They might love you now, but you never know in the future. It's better to move on than to keep hurting yourself burying yourself in delusions that you will still have them towards the end.

Sera, if you want stability, find a new rich man who can satisfy your needs. But make sure his family is not going to set him up in an arranged marriage.

Anonymous said

Like. I didnt even finish reading the chapter but this Sera bitch is so toxic. It's so clear how she only fell for the poised and perfect image of gojou who could give her the perfect materialistic life she desires. She doesn't care about him. It made me so pissed to see her disregard gojou the minute he started to talk about his mother, like it wasn't even worth her time!! She pressures him into giving favorable answers, like how she expected him to apologize (for what, like, bitch???) and was oh so hurt when he didnt. She blames y/n for so much, like being rich means being born without troubles. So you have a terrible boss and a horrible home life. Shouldn't you be more humble and understanding then??? Shouldn't that have taught you some dignity?? Some empathy??? I also assumed she would've been more sympathetic to gojou seeing as her ma Is a sweet lady( from what i read) under the thumb of her father ( The father probably pressured the ma into giving up the money for alcohol. Like how gojou's parents had a rocky power imbalance or something.) I just wanna smack fire into this lady since I doubt you can smack some sense into her. And, speaking as someone who grew up dirt poor and is still poor, what is she going on about??? Fish is very good and I bet loads better than what she had to make do before. She's complaining about food??? She wants WAGYU BEEF???? Do you know how EXPENSIVE that is?!?!? I would be glad to get a bowl of rice, thank you very much. Good god. I'll probably send in something later since your words evoke so much from me, that I fear I might have a heart condition too. Keep doing what your doing love, your killing us but it hurts too good to stop.

Anonymous said

this chapter made me tear up. wow.

when i read the part about y/n being diagnosed with a heart condition, it made my eyes go wide and i was literally staring at my screen like (° °").

moving on to sera, i feel like she's going in the wrong direction when thinking about y/n, saying that she didn't have to suffer and how she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and what sucks about that is how she doesn't know that y/n is not living it well. but then again, she hasn't suffered as much as sera. i was starting to feel remorse for her, but when she called her mom useless after she was trying to cook a meal for her family, i thought about my mom and how she worked extremely hard for my siblings and i to live a good life, and how she actually continues on to work for us, i became so mad. and she even had the audacity to say something along the lines of "i should've been born into a rich family". like okay sera, i understand you don't like your current living condition, but you didn't need to say that.

now talking about gojo, kudos for him for telling sera to take plan b and for also saying that she's not valuable enough to ruin his life. even though i still dislike gojo with a passion, i was rooting for him in that scene. and also, thank you to gojo telling miwa (i love that girl so much wow) to order a boquet of roses for us, but i don't think mr. satoru understands that buying us gifts isn't go to make us want to come back to him, but what absolutely made my heart drop was when we started crying in the bed. jesus christ. i guess he actually is starting to feel something for us.

i like the advice toji was giving out to us, i could never think of anything like that.

anyways, thank you for the chapter. it wasn't as emotional for me as the last one (which i thank you for). you never miss when writing, and that shows that you have an extremely creative mind. kudos to you for that. this chapter was written so nicely. have a good day! <3

Anonymous said

YES I AM EARLY!! FUCK YESS!!!! AI-SAMA!! ILY ILY ILY ILY!!😭😭 I LOVE CHAPTER 9 IT HEALED ME A BIT🥺🥺 ahhhhjm so worried about BBYGIRL YN!!

Also omg Miwa lovelyy!! So glad to see you here!!!! Omg omg why am i a excited about Miwa!! I can imagine her, despite admiring Hoejo Slutoru as an outstanding business tycoon, Miwa aint the type to be flirty with him.. i can imagine Miwa as the first secretary who isn't problematic! Maybe Miwa can even help Hoejo to woo the Queen (but pls, MRS ZENIN SUPREMACY)

Also when Hoejo said *beep* *beep* *beep* and that particular scene of *beep* the ring *beep* *beep*, me be like y'all hear sumn?🤨🤨🤨🧐🧐🧐🤔🤔🤔 Probably just the wind!!🤗🤗🤗🤗

Sincerely yours,

Anon 😻

Anon 😻 cant stop SIMPING over the most important part of the chapter: MRS ZENIN😻😻😻😻😻😻

Anonymous said

NAURRRR JUST WHEN I THOUGHT ITS NOT GONNA HURT ANYMORE BUT YOU DECIDED TO ADD SOME MORE SPICES 😭😭😭😭😭

but this is the great opportunity for y/n to stand up for herself, focus on her happiness and career, prove to the stupid bitch that y/n is not the so-called spoiled brat. her rising up as a famous fashion designer would be a major slap on sera. i like how y/n just decided to focus on herself like "oya oya bitch? you thought I'm gonna stay quiet like a princess do you?" y/n deserves all her happiness that she's trying to pursuit from now on, AS SHE SHOULD!!!!

I don't wanna talk about her illness 😀 knowing about it was also a slap on my face. Death is her trauma. But y/n is facing death like a brave warrior, I'm so proud of her.

Gojo, huh? He's going to be really devastated knowing about her heart condition, knowing that he's the major sources of her pain would make him suffer even more now that he finally realized that sera couldn't care less about his trauma but his ideal self that she created.

Anyway, good job author-nim for making me cry again 😘

Anonymous said

First of all, this is my first...ask, like really. My first ask.

Ch9 is sooooo good, I had to read it multiple times to heal my aching heart that Ch8 caused. Seeing Gojo trail after our Y/n, who's finally thinking about herself (yeees, I love you.), is so satisfying, how the tables have turned GOHOE SATORU. REPENT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BECOME AN ASSHOLE TO OUR GIRL AGAIN BECAUSE OF *retch* Sera- *reeeetch*, I WILL FUCKING HOLLOW PURPLE YOUR ASS!!!

Speaking of Sera, the fuck you doing? Huh? Blaming Y/n for something she didn't do? This must be her way of coping, blaming others and not herself. LIFE IS NOT FAIR FOR EVERYBODY YOU BEEECH. Instead of blaming others, what she should've done is move her family away from her gambler of a father and herself away from Gojo because these two aren't good for her. Gojo's indecisiveness will only irritate her further and make her do something bad (like bad bad, like veeery bad) while her father is the main cause of their money situation. Also, why the fuck do you think was it a good idea to move into a house? When you're drowning in debt? Shouldn't you pay your debt first? Be grateful that you have a caring mother and siblings. Your situation could've been way worse.

IF YOU HAVE A SMART MOUTH, DOESNT THAT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE A SMART BRAIN? WHY DON'T YOU STAY AWAY FROM YOUR FATHER, TALK SENSE IN YOUR MOTHER, AND SAVE UP MONEY?? PAWN OFF THAT FREAKING NECKLACE.

Also, a question for the great angst writer, Saintobio:D

Will we see a face off between our badass Y/n and bitchass S*ra? I would love to see/read Y/n talking so politely to Sera but her words are sharp and condescending. I want Sera to feel what she made Y/n felt during their talk in Bora Bora (I still have PTSD from the previous chapter.)

You're so talented, Author, ahhhhh your writing is just *chef's kiss everywhere*✨ P E R F E T T O ✨

@jojoangelley said

Ai this chapter is so amazing as always!! I haven't so emotionally invested in anything so far as much as Sincerely Not! You are so talented 🥺🥺💕💕

It's ironic how Gojou is the one seeking for y/n attention this morning and is so desperate for it. I'm really satisfied when Getou really said it straight to Gojou's face and told him about how y/n went out looking for his ring. Gojou's suffer arc starting now!!

Meanwhile, it's so worrisome that y/n has developed sickness :( I believe she would be fine, y/n is a good person life will treat her well eventually. And she started taking action for her passion. With the help of Toji, y/n would easily succeed + her talent and trusted team!

I personally relate a lot with y/n this is why I can truly apply myself to the story and feel everything vividly 🥰

Thank you so much Ai for bringing a masterpiece to us and thanks to Sincerely Not! you have connected us together as a whole to share our emotions, thoughts and love for this work. We really came to your place talking like we have known each other for years 🤣🤣

I hope you are taking care of yourself and stay safe :) Always take your time and rest as much as you can! ❤❤❤

Anonymous said

this chapter made me hate sera more than i already do. she stay calling mc selfish, but just from the scene with her pov, she's the selfish one. she's constantly blaming mc for gojo's actions, denying the fact that, despite being rich, mc is still a human being and can have problems and go through hardship like anybody else. she won't let gojo talk about his problems and won't make any effort to console him at all, telling him to just "move on." please tell me sera will be forced to realize that just because she's poor doesn't mean she's the only one with real problems in the future 😭 i'm glad gojo didn't take back his words.

speaking of gojo, i don't know how to feel about him anymore. like he seems to want to be better and is remorseful, but i just can't forget how he used to be. i mean, he literally triggered the heart condition we have. well not triggered, but he worsened it, and now if we don't pull away, we could die. he's literally killing us. and if he finds out, i hope he feels the full weight of that.

i can't wait for more interactions with toji! i feel like it's going to drive gojo insane if he sees reader be happy when with toji but cold with him (he'll finally get a taste of his own medicine 😈).

anyway, thank you for another great chapter 😘!! (if you take anon requests i think i should just ask to be 😘 anon now lmao)

Anonymous said

(I wanted to send it after ch 8 but I couldn't 😭 Excuse my English, I'm not good I'm writing with my trash grammar knowledge)

I LOVED CHAPTER 8 YOUR WRITING WAS AMAZING I also felt sad but thats the point anyways

What Sera said when they were alone hurt my feelings lol. Idk I always think twice while I'm talking with anyone about something important and thinking what I'm saying might hurt their feelings. I get yea she's angry but you don't have to be a bitch about it. (And she really acted like a spoiled brat when telling gojo tell her I'm the most prettiest and you only love me. I only saw a little girl idk lol.) I would talk more about Sera but I think people already said a lot of things. it's just that what she said and her actions wasn't good. I don't care what can happen but a person always should be calm, respectful towards the person in front of them and shouldn't let the anger get them. even if you don't like the person. Also she lacks emphaty. She only thinks her struggles as a person. Her struggles are money related and I guess family, she's financially trying to keep her family up. Her struggles are valid I'm sure it's hard to keep up. She's really strong and she's hardworking. I guess only problem when she sees someone that doesnt have her struggles she immediately thinks they have the best but in fact all of us have struggles in life. Whether it be less complicated than yours or not, we have to pass through them and learn. I'm hoping that she can apologize to y/n for her childish behavior??

Okay, now gojo. I'm thinking this man is really stupid or he acts this way. He's so insensitive and selfish. I'm sorry for him what he had been through that might explain some of his behavior but not excuse it. So don't be an asshole. What is he thinking? Like they're (both him and Sera) blind to see what's in front of them and treating y/n poorly. He really shouldn't go to trip with his mistress and wife because it's already obvious that it's not gonna end well. Then he complains about his wife is being cold to him. Mf what do you expect? Show some respect to your wife.

My little y/n :((( she's trying her best and still nobody sees it. I'm wishing her the best. When they argued what she said to gojo was harsh. I often don't talk about my struggles or trauma because after that people might use it to insult me. I know there's nothing to be ashamed of that but that happened and I felt like shit. It also caused me to not to open up to people. I'm thinking what gojo felt? Even tho she immediately apologized and it was probably because of her anger it doesn't change the fact that can damage gojo and he can be more secretive to only person comforts him :( He should go to therapy. Again, I'm wishing the best to all and I hope she divorces him. Also I'm thinking what gojo will do because if Sera gets pregnant he should start to forget y/n. If Sera gets pregnant and theyre still together their marriage would be the worst. Andd, Gojos friends were nice. They tried to comfort y/n and making situation less awkward. I really felt like they care about y/n so that make me happy. They were nice to her whole time.

Okay okay lastly I really love your writing. Thank you for sharing. Buttt please rest. You're doing so much and I really appreciate it, love it but please rest. Don't rush, it's okay if you didn't reply all asks or continued ch. Youre more important so don't push yourself. Hope you're taking care of yourself or you will be punished with love and hugs. (virtual ones) Never forget to rest, eat your meals and stay hydrated!!!

Anonymous said

(sending this before I read chapter 9) mmm everytime I think about SN, thr words "tragic fate" pops up in my mind so i'm just gonna ramble.

Sera gets pregnant and both her and Gojo decide to keep the baby.

At this point, Reader is so done with their bullshit and gets a divorce, then Gojo ends up living with Sera to take care of her. He realizes during her pregnancy that they're just not right for each other and they have never loved each other - despite this, he will stay to take care of the child and Sera, and promise to still try and make their relationship work. Along with Gojo, Sera also realizes that when Gojo loses everything - his wealth, inheritance, power, standing in the hierchary. She's like - "damn I only liked the fantasy of being with a rich future CEO....Now that he has nothing but trauma and depression, I don't want him anymore!!"

Then after 9 months, Sera dies from childbirth, baby gojo dies right after labour and gojo literally sees both of their deaths. Gojo is left a man who got disowned by his father for his divorce + getting his mistress pregnant + not getting the merger (just being an overall failure.)

He regrets everything he did to Reader and wishes he hadn't said such nasty things to her when they were still married. He has a pillow he keeps next to him to make his bed feel less empty, he writes post-it notes for himself pretending that Reader wrote them, and he still uses that shampoo she used.

He reminisces on their past together and cries. "How did we end up this way? Where did it first go wrong?""

Then while he's wallowing in misery, Reader is enjoying the time of her life as a hot rich designer with a handsome husband (Toji) and cute step-son. Oh & she's pregnant.

She runs into Gojo 2 years after chapter 8, with her baby son in arms. They have small friendly chit-chat, talking about how they've been doing, and she tells him that there are no hard feelings anymore, she's happy, while Gojo is left silent at what she said as he thinks about his own fate ((because what if he had treated her better before?))

Soo he weeps in the end thinking about how Reader's baby son resembles her, like "what if that were our baby 😢" UM boohooo satoru piss off 🐈🐈🐈

Anonymous said

CH.9 OMG!!! Another great chapter, and the angst was really bearable this time so score!

OMG MC with her heart condition. Poor bby just can’t take a break and I’m kinda sad that a really serious illness is what took her the courage to see her worth and distance herself from hoejo. But I’m loving it the role reversal. And her trauma with her mom dying right infront of her, I can’t even begging to explain how much that hurts and the burden of carrying that type of feeling with you for a decade gosh! But yess bitch walk your shit queen, make your boutique a dream come true!

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ZENIN FAMILY BONDING !!!! Future Mrs. ZENIN IN THE HOUSE‼️‼️

Sera. SERA. Idk where to begin honestly, she’s a manipulative bitch, she’s over here talking about MC knowing her place like BITCH know YOURS. YOUR ARE THE MISSTRESS GET IT THROUGHT YOUR STINGY ASS HEAD.

Like honestly I don’t understand why she calls MC entitled and all when she’s over here not even appreciating what she has lolz. Like bitch we get your poor, half of the worlds population is poor but be thankful for what you have, like atleast your can have dinner, have a room over your head PEOPLE DONT HAVE THAT.

This is a theory but what is she didn’t take plan b but has a missacrage because of the stress and how she’s been skipping meals but tell hoejo she’s having his demon spawn, but when hoejo gets disowned by his family and loses his title or spot in the company she’s like SIKE BITCH YOU THOT

Idk if she was saying this in like a spoiled bitchy way but the MEAT. This girl pissed over MEAT😀. If you want meet go ask for Hoejos meat…. Oh way he might not even want you anymore but he realizes his feeling for MC.

Miss gurl out here joking about not taking the plan B like…. that ain’t gonna help you sooner or later, if you can’t apreciate the small things in like how tf you gonna take care of a whole ass child

A CHILD YOUR MAN SAID HE DONT WANT

(really clown girl shit right here)

Hoejo babe I love you for the realization but it’s over. PERIODT.

Feel the pain and agony and my you Rest In Peace when MC leaves your ass to take over the fashion industry with the Zenins and leave your ass in the dust with that dusty ass SERA🐱 and your demon child😚

Anonymous said

wow i have no words for this chapter… it truly hurt but it didn’t hurt like chapter 8. this tike of hurt was something else and i cant believe im saying this but im starting to soften up to satoru. UGHH im so weak bye😭😭😭 i cant believe i feel kinda bad for him already when this is just the start of his redemption arc. also… THE HAPPINESS IN MY HEART WHEN HE TOLD SERA SHE WASNT VALUABLE. i wanted him to shake her off and end things with her right there but instead he let himself get manipulated by sera into feeling bad about his trauma. thats fucking crazy. talking about sera, she’s such a (pardon my language) fucking bitch. the way she was coming at her parents saying that they are useless bc they are poor… wtf??? she isnt humble at all. she is such a bad person. i feel so bad for her family having to depend on a daughter like that. i have a question tho, does her father abuse them?? bc even tho he is a drunk he doesn’t seem to be the type that gets physical?? or well he didn’t give those vibes. my hate for sera is even bigger rn and she wonders why people don’t like her💀💀 im starting to think it has nothing to do with her status as she swears but bc she has a bitchy ass personality. she’s so annoying. i hate her. i hate. her.

@yourstarvic said

OKAY SO! Gojo is a HYPOCRITE!!! Like bro you got what you wanted and now you’re not liking it??? Be careful what you wish for.

AND SERA PARENTS SEEM OKAY!!! Like yeah the dad had a gambling problem and a drinking problem but like he loves his kids!!! And the mom is so sweet! And sera is out here being ungrateful!!!! They can’t do anything about their financial situation so at least be grateful of what you have!!!!

And also… I don’t think she took the plan B… seems kinda sus how she got defensive (but I kinda get it? Like I would be hurt too if the man I “love” wouldn’t want a baby with me) and they way she was looking at herself in the mirror snd imagine it as if she was expecting it??? Or!!! Could be lying about the pregnancy test??? Idk???? It just seems fishy to me and you do things with a reason and with you saying how Gojo nutted in her is a BIG THING!!!!! I’m so excited to know what you are going to do!!!

AND YES YN!!!! PUT YOURSELF FIRST!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!! Make that man SUFFER!!!!

Anonymous said

OH BOY OH BOY WHERE SHOULD I STARTTTT....

franticay running around while reading Chapter 9- oKay so uH- first things first, Sera, fuck u, if u thinking ur life is pure suffering because of ur "useless parents" go fuck yourself, literally your mother is doing her best right now for the family. I understand ur working and all but like why the fuck are you like this smfh.

IT'S JUST AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER RN WITH Y/N LIKE, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE HER ILLNESS, REALLY SHE DOESN'T 😭 its literally so fucking heartbreaking how she has her illness when she's already suffering emotionally and mentally like- Ai 😭 p l e a s e our baby girl doesn't deserve death 😭😭😭😭😭

Gojo get ur shit up I don't give a fuck what u do, get ur fucking shit up like I swear to god regretting impregnating Sera? Hope you fuckin regret it for the rest of your life man! Like! I can't even t o l e r a t e you anymore after Chapter 8 🙄 Literally raging and wanting as a revenge to pull a pregnant card on Sera well FINE DO IT. I bet after yall get married Sera just gonna do worser things, just seeing how she treat her parents and even so her younger siblings with such coldness, i think something gonna go wrong here 👌

also i have a theory, one day like in a social event for only major like maaajor companies like Toji, Gojo and Y/N's families, what if Toji and Gojo clash head to head and that causes Y/N stress as she collapses like in Bora Bora how she passed out from crying and they send her to the hospital find out her heart condition just getting worse and worse, please that will be the emotional wrecker for Gojo because the doc prob gon come out of that door and say "Mrs Gojo has a heart disease and she is under very much stress right now." and it will shatter like everyone's hearts there(dont know bout toji tho...)

Honestly i dont know I have no hope for the marriage rn I just want Y/N to be treated better, have a better life and give herself the feeling of euphoria once more so that she can live her life to the fullest without her worrying abt her illness so that she can go on to the afterlife with happy memories

Anonymous said

TW:SUICIDE

Hey Ai! Omg is it okay if i call u that? I'm sorry i just see other anons calling u that but if it's not okay then I'm really really really really sorry 😭 anywayss the reason I sent this ask is cuz I really just want to thank you, I've been very depressed and is very suicidal from the passed months because of a very depressing event that occurred and everyday whenever I'd wake up I'll always be so mad and annoyed cuz "why the fuck did i even wake up?" "Why didn't I just die in sleep?", But since I stumbled upon sn I literally gradually got a lil better. I always loved reading and writing fics especially angst ones even before that specific event occurred and ever since it happened I lost hope and thought that nothing will ever make me happy again or something like that. But since sn, i was able to read your other works and they are just *chef's kiss* AMAZING😭😭😭😭😭, for the past 3 weeks since I stumbled upon your works I didn't wake up that depressed anymore and I didn't sleep praying death cuz because of your writing I had a reason to live, yeah yeah maybe some will say what a very shallow person, but I just want you to know that you writing helped me allot, your writing saved me and it's one of the reasons I'm still holding on. Waking up every morning excited about reading your responses to the anons and especially waiting until Friday for the update!!, I miss this, i miss being able to wake up excited, and I owe that allot to you. So I hope you know how much of an amazing great writer you are, that once in your lifetime you saved someone because of it. Thank you Ai so much from the bottom of my heart!

Anyways i had this lil shower thought pop in my head yesterday 😂 (that's how often I think of sn😭) likee if the sn universe were to be in the jjk canonverse, that means Gojo, as one of the strongest families in business in sn, will still be the Strongest in jjk universe in terms of strength and there are the Zenins too running down the biggest businesses along with Y/N's family in sn, so that means Y/N's family might be a very strong clan too in jjk along with the Zenin, Kamos and Gojos. And since sn!Y/N aside from having a very huge empire like business doesn't like meddling into it then jjk!Y/N might be the same in terms of being a jujutsu sorcerer, wherein she is very strong and her cursed energy and power is just as powerful as Satoru's if she chose on taking the path of being a jujutsu sorcerer(the reason why Gojo's dad wants him married to her to have very powerful baby and possibly to merge clans), and there's sera who's literally just a mere human and all that's why his dad is strictly against it. Lmao that's all those thoughts thoughhh I'm sorry if it's unlike the other anons😭 anyways i hope you're well and you're keeping yourself healthy! Don't overwork yourself we all love you so much! Such a pretty and talented gurl like you must be protected at all cost>:) ohh and if you're still accepting emoji anons then can i be 🐲 anon? Thank you againnn i hope you have a very amazing blessed day!

i love u 🐲 anon !! pls stay strong. i’m glad that my writing helped u cope somehow 😢😢

Anonymous said

OKAY IM JUST.

Why does Sera think just because she's the one Gojo "loves", that she's not a mistress? GIRL pull your head out of your ass and think critically??? Or maybe she doesn't think critically she just thinks about ruining things for other people because she "wasn't born rich and had to struggle." There's no excusing what Gojo has done but I just want him to open his eyes and see what Sera's true motives are. At first I was like, okay Sera I see you, I get it. And then when it was revealed she had gotten money from Gojo's dad who supposedly hates her, I was like "yeah okay fuck you." I'm rooting for Y/N but I'm also rooting for Gojo finally seeing that his perception of love is skewed, and he needs someone like Y/N in his life, I'm not excusing all of his actions up to now but I really do want him to see how he's hurting other people the same way he's been hurt, and that he really needs to re-evaluate his choices up to this point. He needs to acknowledge that he and Sera are in the wrong and Y/N has not done anything out of line. And then he better get on his knees and beg for Y/N's forgiveness because he's probably never going to get someone as good as her to put up with his shit. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT SN

hiyaaaa everyone i hope u guys don’t mind that i compiled everything and couldn’t respond individually but these asks deserved to be published so :) thanks so much for all the messages that u guys send, i swear i read all of them and i appreciate every single one of them <33

[kpop-cakepops]

okok so my idea for snuggle donation continuation:

after/during the horror movie, they fall asleep in each other’s arms. and then like the girl wakes up before him and gently caresses Wonwoo and plays with his hair blahblahblah and thinks about how much he means to her omg //head in hands//. And like Wonwoo is half-asleep so he probably thinks he’s dreaming like he has NO idea aaarrrgggggg

Idk what happens after maybe they both wake up and are unable to go back to sleep so they go on the roof to look at the stars STILL in each other’s arms and they just exist together. Maybe it could end with Wonwoo looking at her and thinking.....thoughts? (like damn i wanna kiss her so bad) But she has no idea. And so the mutual pining continues but on steroids.

I just realized that the hip-hop half of my bias line (Vernon and Wonwoo) sleeps with their mouths open while the Vocal half of my bias line (Jeonghan and DK) sleep with their mouths closed 😭 WHY IS THIS EVEN IMPORTANT?! I DONT KNOW 😭

Anyhow! Here is your request, I actually liked this a lot 🥺! Thank you for requesting and hope you enjoy!

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,161

***

Snuggle Donation: Pact. // Jeon Wonwoox Fem!Reader

Wonwoo really is beautiful. Y/N came to that conclusion as she did one of her favorite things: watch Wonwoo sleep and play with his pitch-black locks.

"Wow... I guess you're not too bad when you're not being a little baby about everything" she whispered knowing her best friend was so deep in his sleep that he couldn't hear her.

A soft smile came to her lips as she watched his lips part cutely. Cutely? Y/N's thoughts seemed to spin that way lately, finding the things Wonwoo did cute and heartwarming. She had always felt that way about her friend, it was normal, but everything she'd always felt about her friend seemed to be exalted lately.

Y/N's mind started to go back in time, thinking of all the times Wonwoo had been there for her. When no one wanted to talk to her in middle school and kids were writing nasty things on her desk. In high school when a random pregnancy rumor was spread about the two of them. Throughout university when she had contemplated dropping out. When she was too sick to function, he was there to take care of her... in every one of those moments, Wonwoo had stuck by Y/N's side and cheered her on.

Something had been weighing on her lately too. Her mother had been pestering her about dating so she could start preparing for the future and marriage and children too. Y/N hadn't felt the need to get married or have kids, she hadn't even thought about it. She'd only ever just worried about keeping a stable job, having fun, and hanging out with Wonwoo... but Wonwoo wasn't going to be there forever... and that's how she found herself thinking about his future. He was bound to get married at some point, have a pretty wife and pretty kids... and that thought had sent her stomach on a downward spiral.

"Idiot..." she mumbled through teary eyes. "What am I supposed to do when you get married and leave me all alone... I don't know how to be me without my best friend."

Wonwoo was dazed with sleep as he heard her voice. Dreaming about Y/N wasn't anything new for him. It had happened to him since middle school, spending nearly every day with her, it was bound to happen. What he wasn't aware of was that what he was hearing and feeling wasn't a dream. His best friend was in fact playing with his hair, and telling him how much he meant to her... WHICH SHE NEVER DID UNLESS SHE WAS DRUNK.

Wonwoo stirred in his position before unwillingly opening his eyes while Y/N looked down at him with sad ones. The man blinked in confusion, "Y/N?"

The girl cleared her throat and looked back over at the TV that was now playing whatever had followed the scary movie he'd fallen asleep to. "Hey ugly" she greeted with a fake smile. "I thought you'd never wake up"

Wonwoo groaned and stretched himself out. The side of his face pressing to Y/N's tummy causing her insides to become fluff. "I was dreaming"

"Oh really? What about?" She asked peering down at her best friend's sleepy face.

He grinned up at her and reached out to ruffle her hair. "It's a secret."

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully and nudged her legs so he'd get his head off her lap. "We slept through the movie" she whined. "It's midnight now and I'm not sleepy"

"We could always go to the rooftop and have a beer," he said.

That was how they ended up on the rooftop of her apartment building. The two gazing at what little stars the big city lights allowed them to. Y/N found herself huddled up into Wonwoo's side. Lonely thoughts about Wonwoo being gone invading her mind yet again. Meanwhile, all Wonwoo could think of was how nice and warm she felt beside him and how, if he could, he'd love to stay just as they were for a very long time.

"Do you ever think about what life will be like later on?" Wonwoos deep voice reverberated.

Y/N was frozen in her spot as she heard him speak the very thoughts she was having. "You mean like... what we'll be doing in a few years?" Wonwoo nodded in response, face still lifted towards the sky. "Well, I assume we'll be working. I'll hopefully have my own business by then like I've always wanted."

"Do you think we'll get married?" He asked.

Y/N smiled at the wording he used but knew he didn't mean it that way. "Of course. We'll get married, you'll have a pretty wife and pretty kids and I'll have a husband that I... love and... kids..." that I don't even know if I want.

Wonwoo felt a sense of disappointment spread through him. He knew Y/N wouldn't answer his question the way he wanted but hearing her say that she'd be married with kids that were not his was suddenly painful to him. "What if we die alone?" He asked.

"Alone?! Not a chance," she exclaimed as she stretched her hands before her. "I'd rather marry you than die alone," She said almost tentatively. Every time Y/N said something like that it made her feel like she was dipping her toes into a pool of water, one that she was too scared to dive into.

"Should we?" asked Wonwoo catching Y/N by total surprise.

"Huh?"

"Get married, I mean. Should we get married if nothing else works out for us? Make a pact like those people in the movies?" He questioned. Wonwoo was good at hiding his true emotions, and Y/N really couldn't tell how serious he was being so she played along with a little bit of truth.

"A pact. What would the pact consist of?" She asked. "Would it involve you getting on one knee and asking for my hand in marriage?" Her tone was playful but deep inside she wished it did involve that.

"Of course! What type of man do you think I am?" he asked with a grin.

"Okay then, deal. If nothing else works out by 35 then we'll get married to each other and have 1 dog and 2 cats together" She laughed and took a sip of her beer.

Wonwoo smiled as he watched her happily sip at her beer while wrapped up in the blanket she'd taken up with her. It was so hard for him not to grab her and kiss her and just confess everything he felt for her. Yet the fear of losing her and the fear of hearing her say she didn't feel the same way about him, was far stronger than his desire to let it all be known.

"Yeah, if nothing else works out" he repeated quietly.

Guess I'll just have to make sure nothing does until then.

[tommybaholland]

Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara 

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him. 

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 

are you alive?? 

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara 

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings. 

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 

“wow, that’s great!” 

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 

“you never let me down!” 

 his smile never let you down. 

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky. 

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 

-

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 

thank you i hope its going well 

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 

was it okay though? 

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 

-

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 

oh well that’s great! 

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 

you had your priorities and suga had his. 

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too 

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume? 

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 

Yeah could you? 

yeah sure!

Yay thanks! 

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara  

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 

you were in love with koshi sugawara. 

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

-

it was the friday before the finals game. 

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 

-

you didn’t get much sleep that night. 

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you. 

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did. 

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[opal-owl-flight]

I just started playing Sky today (I've been debating it for a minute but finally caved)

But are there any tips you'd give to beginning players? I think all I have down rn is the very basics n that's *it*

Oho! Greetings, sparrow/moth! Welcome to Sky!

I honestly dont have much concrete advice to give, so these tips are off the top of my head-

(For the record, a new player is called a moth/sparrow by the community, its not a derogatory term, many veterans think theyre cute and want to adopt them, me included!)

Long post ahead!! Forgive me, idk how to put things “under the cut” wjdnekn

———————————————————————

On controls:

(Ive seen people getting all hissy on the controls, so this is fo them — hopefully it helps)

- the flight toggle on the right side of the screen. “Glide mode” makes you move forward when you flap. “Hover mode” makes you move up when you flap.

- your skykid automatically jumps on higher surfaces if you jump near them! When I first played I found so much trouble with this concept for some reason so Im saying it here widjdj

——————————————————————

On the “main task” of the game:

- be brave, follow the light!

- find as many spirits as you can. Theyll give you emotes that you can use to express yourself! Finding more spirits also means you can go through certain barriers found in some maps.

- speaking of which, dont be afraid to backtrack! You may find new areas to reach, more spirits, etc

- find as many glowy children as you can. More flapping power, lets you reach more places!

Technical aspects — On candles/cosmetics/hearts:

- the main “currency” of the game, as the game itself says. There are specific spots in the maps that respawn “wax orbs” every day, after a reset time (Im not sure what the reset time is in global terms, forgive me). Most veterans go around on “candle runs” daily to get as much candles as they can!

This point we know where all the wax spots are. Dont be afraid to tail skykids on these runs, or reach out for help!

- on that note, save those candles, as much as you can. Every other Thursday, a “travelling spirit” arrives. These spirits are from previous events called seasons, and the cosmetics they carry/emotes they teach are only available to get in the three days theyre staying in the game!

- every reset gives us a maximum of 20 candles on a full candle run. Personally, I only run two realms a day — the gate where the quest guide stands by, and the gate where there are red candles by them.

- this is because of the newly introduced chevron system. Have you noticed the chevrons by the candle icon, and, how you begin with those three arrows at the beginning, and the chevrons slowly count down?

Its a little hard to explain, but basically, when you have those 3 chevrons, you can “forge” candles faster. It goes down bc your skykid, acc to the game, becomes “tired”, and as you continue to collect wax, the rate of forging gets slower and slower.

From my experience, running only two realms gets me more or less half the maximum amt (abt 10 candles)

- you can spend these candles on the base constellations, accessed at the end of each realm, or at homespace. Each spirit you find will give you cosmetics to customize your skykid, given that you exchange them with candles.

- youll see a percentage in each constellation. This percentage appears when youve found every spirit in the realm (I think). It rises when you unlock more and more cosmetics! Its worth going for that 100%, trust me 👀

- you can also use these candles to make friends! You can offer them to a stranger youve lit up if you wish💜 chat is available after you unlock more nodes in the friendship tree — or you can find a bench to chat with them!

- hearts you get from spirits or friends! Its three candles a heart, and hearts are also needed to unlock the cosmetics tree of each spirit!

———————————————————————

On seasons:

ah, you arrived in the near beginning of Season of Assembly at this time of posting!

- long events like this happen every few months. This one lasts 70 days! To progress on the season’s events, you have to go through all the maps first (excluding the very last, I think. Big honkin door in Homespace). Once done, the questgiver/questguide should appear by the gate, and the game will introduce you to the event (if it hasnt already — I dont remember how they activate for new players!)

- you dont have to do the daily quests, by the way! Its not really a requirement. You see them when you stand at a certain distance from the questgiver and tap on the “!” Icon on top of their head. Again, if you need help on those, dont be afraid to ask!

- seasonal quests is the bigger story behind the season. Those can be accessed by standing nearer to the quest guide and tapping the symbol over their head. The game explains the rest fairly well💖

- the candles you get from daily quests are called seasonal candles. They are used to get the seasonal cosmetics that are available to purchase within the 70 days of the season!

*an in-app-purchase (season pass) is required to access all the cosmetics on the seasonal constellation, by the way!

——————————————————————

All in all, dont forget to have fun! You dont have to do all these things — play the game as you want, these are just things to keep in mind!💜 dont be afraid to make friends or reach out for help. The Sky community is one of the nicest places Ive ever been in💖

Find light. Make connections. Be ever brave and fly ever higher! Best of luck to you, sparrow❤️

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.