#turns me into a completely different and live-withable person or just straight up takes me out. Ha Ha Ha
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i hateeeeee making plans significantly in advance (the only way i like plans to be made. lmfao.) because I feel so much worse about not wanting to follow through on them man
#supposed to go to dinner tn but im in such an evil awful mood#turns me into a completely different and live-withable person or just straight up takes me out. Ha Ha Ha#fr who do i have to go to get put down like a lame horse. haha whatttt who said that#think i would flip the car on the way there tbh#leaving the house will make me go crazy I will kill my mom everyone we come across And myself. im going to lose it#but theres a reservationnnnn and its for meeeee and we've been planning to do this for months 🙃#so what if i feel like shit ykn i fucking always feel like shit might as well grit my teeth and go out even though the idea of doing so#makes me want to burst into tears#but also man i wish. idk#bad faith to say i wish it meant anything when i feel like shit bc ik there are ppl that Will stop for me#idk maybe i wish it meant anything to me. i dont know. i have no fucking idea what i want#really i want to just not feel like this at all lmfao but asking to feel okay has always been asking for too much. so. shrug#whatever ill spend the next six hours bracing myself and then ill go to dinner and then ill#i dont know. get through it. hopefully. idk what happens on the other side.#once again putting out an ad for anyone/thing that wants to hit me in the head so hard it either just#whatever man! what the fuckkkkkkk ever#quiet down
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