#i dont know when this epiphany would happen

[repeatdeath]

i often think about jekyll going out as hyde for the first time and finding soo much relief in not having to control himself anymore, only to be overcome with fear when he realizes he cant control himself anymore

[vancalox]

ive played dao like 9 times at this point and still. and STILL the isolde/connor decision has me tearing my hair out gnawing my keyboard stomping around the house ready to lie down and never get up

[yoshistory]

part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore

[a-commas-a-pause]

For me, learning about the less-famous symptoms/presentations of autism cleared a lot of things up regarding this kind of experience. Plus realising that I'm just Way more prone to anxiety than most people and it's likely a brain chemistry thing that I can't really do much about. And also realising that even though I did have one of the most idyllic childhoods it's possible to have, no one goes through life without incidentally accruing little micro-traumas here and there. Especially if you're neurodivergent. Some of my worst childhood memories ever are things like... being told off by a teacher I respected. And I'm incredibly privileged for that! So many people have much worse memories. Most of mine are honestly things that simply Are Going To Happen Sometimes, Sorry. And I had to learn to deal with e.g. being rejected by someone whose opinion I valued. That's a universal human experience! It's part of life! But also - the fact I still remember those experiences years later means that they affected me strongly and it's ok for me to take that seriously and treat myself gently with respect to those memories. I am a very ✨ sensitive ✨ person and that has its benefits (tends to go hand in hand with perceptiveness, for one thing. Also I'm like 90% sure that it's not just the negative emotions that I get at extra high volume but also at least some of the positive ones) but it also has its drawbacks and those drawbacks are real and legitimate.

It's also actually been really worth knowing/accepting that I'm (heavy quotation marks) "sensitive". Because it makes it a lot easier to avoid harmful knee-jerk reactions. I have a conscious policy of keeping my emotional responses to things (often disproportionate, and wildly illogical) as far away from my irl actions as possible because I know there's often no particular foundation to my anxiety. Like I get where the ''trust your gut'' people are coming from - often your subconscious is telling you something useful - but personally I'm a big proponent of "trust but verify" when it comes to gut feelings. And not jumping to conclusions. Rather than wasting energy fighting my own mind with guilt about how I "should be" more resilient, I accept that I'm gonna be feeling a lot of feelings and as much as I'm able I account for that. I used to get in horrible arguments with friends and family because me emotions were just So Loud but I felt like I had to muscle through and continue a conversation because otherwise I'd be weak. I'm getting a lot better about Not doing that these days, and from the outside it seems like I've become a more chill person, but I really haven't. I'm still as much of a wound ball of stress as ever. I'm just consciously choosing to direct it differently - and giving myself more and longer breaks than I was ever allowed to have, back when I was on a strict school schedule.

Anyway I definitely don't have all the answers (or really any answers that you've not already thought of, I suspect) but you're not alone in this, I promise. It happens to me too.

Sometimes I get sad and frustrated thinking about how I had a normal childhood with good parents and incredible privileges and accommodations, and I avoided almost all common adverse and traumatic events, and yet my entire life has felt in my body like I'm being chased through a torture labyrinth by a hateful God

Like okay when i was like 10 I got a regular stomach bug while I was spending the night at mamaw's house and I had a full-blown trauma response to it. I started having panic attacks so bad I thought I was going to die. I remembered every single detail of the night I got sick and developed weird superstitions about objects I'd interacted with. I never wore any of the clothes I had been wearing ever again, except my socks, which I didn't touch for like. 6 or 7 years.

This wasn't an isolated incident. I have searched my memories desperately for some kind of deeper trauma that underlies the state of mental health disaster I've constantly been in as far back as I can remember, and I've got nothing. I was just born too psychologically fragile to be alive.

[xviruserrorx]

Nothing like having to rework a 15k fic because you realize the story would tell better in a different pov 🫠

[arisuworld]

LAW OF ASSUMPTION : AN EPIPHANY-Ⅰ

⋆ ☾ : What is the law of assumption?

Law of Assumption in it's simplest form is: WHATEVER YOU ASSUME, YOU WILL HAVE IT IN YOUR REALITY. Now, for example : if you were assuming that you're a billionaire, then BY LAW you're a billionaire. You will have it in your reality in no time!! ALL ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO A FACT.

⋆ ☾ : If it’s that easy, then why do people fail?

First of all, you cannot “fail” in the law of assumption, there is never failure in the law of assumption. The LAW CANNOT FAIL YOU!! People simply don’t get their desires for many reasons, which i will discuss thoroughly :-

1. THEY ARE IN THE “WAITING” ZONE.

This is a common mistake and i see it all the time, you are NOT WAITING FOR YOUR DESIRES, your desires are already YOURS. Once you assume it, then your desire is yours, thats it. It's done. Start maintaining the state of wish fulfilled.

State of wish fulfilled isn’t being happy or excitement, it's the fulfilment and acceptance that your manifestation is yours, it's a natural feeling.

2. THEY GO BACK TO THE OLD STORY.

“Your assumption to be effective, cannot be a single isolated act, it must be a maintained attitude of wish fulfilled” — Neville Goddard

You cannot serve two masters at once, to successfully manifest you must kill the old beliefs you’ve had, you must get rid of the limiting beliefs you’ve entertained. For example: if you’re manifesting a new desired appearance, you can’t keep persisting in the assumption that you’re ugly and start tearing yourself apart, you must persist in the assumption that you HAVE your desired appearance.

3. THEY ASSUME THEY HAVE TO DO A LOT OF THINGS TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

THIS IS WRONG! You do not have to lift a finger to get what you want, you can stay in the comfort of your bed and home to get your dream life, the only thing you have to do is get out of the comfort zone of a victim mindset. Methods, yes they’re helpful but are they necessary? no. You do not have to do the void, SATS, scripting, 5x55 or 3x33 or lullaby method to get what you want. You just need yourself and your mind.

4. THEY HAVE A FEAR OF FAILURE.

As i mentioned before, you cannot fail. So, GO ALL IN, start taking that leap of faith, nothing bad will happen, start believing in yourself and start having faith within yourself because trust me YOU CAN. You can do it. Majority of people have this longing fear that they’re wasting their time but it WILL WORK and it's NOT A WASTE OF TIME. The biggest risk is sitting there idly by not doing anything and staying in the same position when know all this power you have!

5. LACK OF SELF CONCEPT.

Self concept is something everyone will benefit from, no matter what, take it from me. When i focused on my self concept i got better treatment from other people, people treated me with respect, i treated myself with respect, toxicity out of my life, fortune and luck everywhere i go.

Our concept of ourselves revolves around our manifestations; if you always thought of yourselves as ugly, a loser, stupid you don’t have that self respect for yourself and you dont feel worthy enough. Look at rihanna, rihanna treats herself highly and so does everyone else around her. why? because she has a high concept of herself and SHE KNOWS that she deserves to be treated with the upmost respect and she reflects that.

⋆ ☾ : So, it’s really that easy?

YES! it really is that easy, a lot of people don’t think its easy because of the way they VIEW it. Some people view law of assumption as a job or a chore when it really isn't. We assume everyday without even realising it, when we see food that looks gross to us, we assume that it most-likely tastes like absolute garbage and because we assumed it so....IT IS!

That girl in your school who you think is a snobby little privileged bully? if you changed their assumption on them and replaced it with new beliefs and maintained those new beliefs then they would change.

[There will be total four parts of this series!! Also, THIS POST IS NOT MINE. I just edited this and posted here because a lot of people need to read this]

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

HI ITS ME gvxzggsgjfh ok look this is. i know this is a weird one it is SO specific and so obviously something i should just write myself if i want it👏but👏but👏BUT i decided to shoot my shot when a perfect chance has arisenderised for you to pick and choose from anything you like AND in any form, and to see if this one maybe by any chance just so happens to spark anything fun in u too xD

ssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo RANDOM EVENT ROLL D20 mc gets bitten by a werewoof or some other kind of "contagious" monster species (....cant really think of anything else other than vampirs, now that i say it) but WAIT THERES MORE because. what if mc insisted that they dont want any potential existent cures, they just wanna stay monstery >:3 JVDTHGLN who's considering it, who would absolutely go in the "its either me or this" direction, who's enthusiastic🤣 this is silly as hell but in the case it sparks joy id love to hear ur any and all thoughts because this idea has been haunting me for forever lmao honestly the best way ive imagined it is like one of your own selfinsert pieces youve posted before where its just all of them together bickering heeheehee💘💕🩷💞💖

love u have fun!!

The Arcana Drabble: MC transforms into a "monster"

In the spirit of things, I though a long drabble/short oneshot would work best to keep the madness going XD

Asra's getting stuck in their "one focus and one focus only" mode and right now that focus is making sure you're okay. He'll decide how he feels later, which isn't being helped at all because Julian keeps calling on him to help him slow down the process and get you to think about this a little more. However, it's hard to tell what exactly Julian wants your decision to be because in between him trying to get Asra to make you think about it some more, he's having all kinds of medical epiphanies about how your anatomy is adjusting to the new monster form:

"MC, let's think about some more, shall we? I'm sure Asra agrees with me - don't you, Asra? Asr - oh, whats this?! Your finger's joints are rapidly adjusting to accommodate for - I need a pen and paper -"

"Right here, Ilya." It's Portia's dismissive tone as she digs a small notebook and pencil out of her pocket that keeps you grounded. Not for long, though, because she can't wait to see what happens next. "Accommodate for what, anyways? Are you growing another joint?? Are you going to get claws??? Talons???? Show me!"

Between Julian jotting down unintelligible notes while he studies your elbow's range of motion, Portia's excited exclamations, and Asra's attempt at soothing touch as they rub your shoulders and ask how you're feeling, it's a miracle you can notice Muriel's quiet mumble in the background. He's clearly overwhelmed and very concerned that the physically-altering substance in general got to your brain first, making you so seemingly okay with turning into a monster.

"MC, do you remember your name? Do you need to take a nap? You don't have to be okay with this -"

"I believe this may warrant far more than a nap to recover from." Nadia's doing her best to keep Lucio calm, holding him back from tackling you much like she might grasp a leash. You can practically see the headache building behind her eyes. "We have yet to determine what the extent of this transformation is and therefore whether our dear MC is even capable of fully agreeing to the current process. MC, darling, did the source of this transformation give you any indication of what the end result would be?"

You'd try to respond, but Lucio's excited yelling is too noisy to shout over. He's fumbling at the fastenings on his cape, distracted by your ongoing changes, and very annoyed at Nadia's interference.

"Where did it go? I want to see if it can give me powers too - OW! Dammit, Noddy, I'm trying to help here! You're keeping me from finding the monster and getting it to give me cool - I mean, getting it to tell us more about what's happening! Don't you want that? Don't you want to help MC, Noddy?! Let me go -"

It's with a loud RIP and subsequent "that was velvet, you know!" that Lucio finally breaks free and sprints off in the direction of your new monster friend. You can feel yourself slowly settling in to your new form as the process shows signs of slowing and reaching completion.

Nadia's facepalming. Portia's looking at you with eyes shining in wonder. Julian's still trying to nag Asra into reversing this as he takes notes. The magician in question is still ignoring him as they ask you how you feel for the nth time. Muriel's eyeing the nearby closet in hopes of taking a nap and waking up to it all being a dream. Lucio's a distant, spiky golden speck at this point.

Faust is quietly trying to sneak her knife into your hand, for crimes.

[morally-earl-gray]

✨crisis time✨ pt. 4

so um. i have no idea whats going on with me. BEAR WITH ME, this is gonna be my last rant for the next little while (unless something completely fucked up happens, yk)

im having doubts about my sexuality again. i came out as aroace (only to one irl person, but i also started posting on this blog) a few weeks ago, and its been pretty good since then. BUT i just remembered something that made me question EVERYTHING

when i was in elementary/middle school, i had no crushes whatsoever. nothing. i didnt know about asexuality and aromantism back then, so i just assumed that i would find someone eventually, or that i was just a late bloomer. my friends and i never talked about crushes (i didnt know it at the time but half of them are gay), and it never crossed my mind that i might be queer because i had never really stopped to think about it.

when i was ~12, i heard the term "asexual" for the first time. it crossed my mind that that could be me, but i didnt think about it much because i didnt really think it was important, and i was still holding out for The Feelings to kick in

PLOT TWIST:

i almost forgot about this until now, but im pretty sure i was lesbian?? (CONFESSION TIME: ive never admitted this to anyone for a lot of reasons, so this is very scary for me) when i was 14-15, i got a crush on this girl. i had known her for my entire life and had never had feelings like that before (for her or for anyone). it was weird and i never told her or anyone else ofc, because my family is homophobic and shes straight (probably). we started high school and the feelings kinda started to fade ig? occasionally something would happen and The Feeling would return, but by the next spring, i had zero feelings for her.

now i know what this sounds like: doesnt this mean im demiromantic? that would make sense, right? and thats what i thought, too.

but then i remembered something else:

for kinda that whole year (when i was 15), i was like 96% sure i was lesbian. there were other girls i occasionally thought about, and i barely knew them but i think it was a crush?? additionally, whenever i met a girl my age i would get silly thoughts like "maybe shes gay" or "maybe she'll be The One I Get Feelings For" and basically i knew i was lesbian.

but now i dont feel anything, not even for girls. im now 96% certain that i am aroace, but whenever i remember being 15 i get really confused. and its not in a "i told myself i had crushes on girls because i wasnt interested in guys so i must be lesbian and didnt realize i was actually aro" way. im pretty sure that was LEGIT

i had a moment of epiphany when i realized that i was aroace, and i was VERY MUCH CERTAIN of the fact. but i dont doubt that i was lesbian.

i have no idea if this is a thing that can happen, but i think my sexuality changed?? all i know is that i used to like girls but now i dont have feelings for anyone. theres a chance that im just demiromantic, but for some reason i dont think so??

anyways, if anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated

[gojot-t]

also 👉👈

can i make another order for being locked together with kageyama? (again, its completely all right if not!)

id love to have “Is this okay?” “Yeah, that— that’s okay. Please— keep going.” for the topping

(im sorry for all the bothering, you dont have to do these if you dont want to)

from the valentine's day event! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

kageyama + being locked together + “Is this okay?” “Yeah, that— that’s okay. Please— keep going.”

cw/tags: tanaka and noya being questionable wingmans, gn!neutral reader and making out :o

If someone said to you 30 min ago that you would be locked together in the small, small broom room with Kageyama, you would laugh in their faces. But it seems that life has a funny way of working because that's the exact situation you find yourself in.

See, you're not some kind of genius or clairvoyant to know why things happen, but if Noya and Tanaka’s malicious laugh that you managed to hear before a body was basically thrown against yours and everything went dark would serve as a clue, then you think you have an idea.

“Hm… S-so...” Oh yes. The main problem at the moment. For more than one reason, actually.

"Don't worry, Kageyama-san. I'm sure that someone sooner or later will get us out of here... hahah... I hope…” It's not like you thought this was the worst situation in the world, on the contrary, you slept imagining your dear freshman, who you may or may not have a crush on, doing the famous kabedon on you at least three nights, the only difference is that well... not in the tiny broom closet.

Oh, here's another hint as to why this may happe- “S-Senpai... Please stop moving so much.."

“Ah! Sorry, Kageyama-san!” You try to make your body more upright, but you only end up headbutting his chin. “S-Sorry!!" You squirm even more, and his hand, which was on the side of your head, moves to squeeze your waist. You don't know if this is the heaven's blessing or punishing you.

“Ahg… Senpai!” He kind of made a weird sound now... When you look at him, the sliver of light passing through the door illuminates his face so red that you worry. Ignoring how handsome he looks at this angle, you focus on desperately cursing the two idiots who put you in this situation in the first place. If before you thought he hated you, now you are sure.

You've never been close to the youngest, even though he's never left your mind since he saved you from getting hit in the face in front of the entire volleyball team, you're sure he doesn't feel the same. Every time you tried to talk to him about something, he would just stare at you with a red face before walking away.

It must be because of your feelings, he probably feels uncomfortable being around you. You were sure you're discreet, but apparently it was pretty obvious, if even the two goofballs found out even though you never talked to them about it.

"Sorry, Kageyama-san... You must be hating this.”

“E-Eh? No! Ah- I mean, no… I just never did this before…” He takes a deep breath and looks at you before continuing to speak. "Look, I have been trying to tell you this… That… I really-”

“It’s fine, Kageyama-san, I get it. You hate me, right? It's totally fine, you don't have to force yourself to-”

“W-what?? No! Just listen to me a bit-”

“It's okay! Really! Totally fine and-”

You're interrupted by him holding your face firmly in his hands, eyes looking so serious and desperate that you don't have the courage to say anything else. Wait... His face has always been so close to yours?!

“I've been trying to tell you this…” His lips whisper just above yours, eyes fixed on you as if asking for permission. There's only a second of silence where neither of you move before your lips meet his at the same time.

Like a moment of epiphany, your body seems to fly and the only thing holding you to the ground is his hands on your body. Even if the kiss was a mess of teeth and tongue, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. His hand on your face moves back to your waist and hugs you closer to him.

You wrap your arms around his neck and end up accidentally biting his lip slightly. “Ahg, Senpai…”

“Tobio..." You only pull away when you're completely out of breath. You stare at each other for a moment with wide eyes before kissing again. The movements that were once desperate and frantic are now slow and steady, trying to hold on to every second of the moment.

You part with his lips and move to his neck, giving it a light kiss before lightly grazing your teeth against the skin there.

“Tobio… Is this okay?”

“Yeah, that— that’s okay. Please— keep going.”

You knew that when you got home, you would scream into your pillow thinking about where you got the courage to do this, but at the moment, your mind could only think about him, his lips, his touch.

Your lips suck at the skin just enough to form a shy red, and your tongue soothes the irritated skin when you pull away.

When you lift your face to kiss him again, the door is suddenly opened.

“RIGHT!! the two lovebirds had their time~ ARGHH! What is this vulgar scene?!?!! Noya-san, close your eyes!!”

You really feel like killing these two.

a/n: don't worry anon, you could never bother! actually, I had a lot of fun writing this, even though it was my first time writing a kissing scene. I hope I did well. I hope you liked it! ♡ btw, im working on your tsukishima order too^^

[ahotknife]

Do you have any thoughts abt ronans relatiomship with his sexuality pre-tdt fourth of july epiphany? Bc i remember back in the day fandom loved to portray him as deep in the internalized homophobia angst trenches, but thats... kind of not how i read him? Ofc i dont think he's 100% at peace with it (he did not speak it. He did not think it), but I never really got the vibe that it was a big aspect of his self hatred or anything? Like, when kavinsky tried to call him out he was like "yeah no i never said i wasnt", and no one ever really reacts when adam makes quips about it, like its kind of a known open secret? Like, i do think its something he was aware about and on his way to accepting pre-niall, but when we start the series he's just too wrapped up in other stuff (yeah i might be gay but the labyrinth is exanding rn- typa deal). But sometimes i wonder if im missing something and your analysis is always great so i wonder if you have any further thoughts?

hiiiii this is such a fun question tysm for sending. i don’t read him that way either!

i think you’re right, essentially ronan’s relationship with his sexuality is basically like “i might be gay but every night monsters in my nightmares try to kill me so i can’t worry about that rn” and i do agree that he doesn’t really have specifically Internalized Homophobia, BECAUSE: ronan hates himself and is scared of his desire In General. he hates himself but it’s not because he is gay, it’s just because he’s alive and he wants things. every time he mentions his self hatred or waxes angsty and poetic in his internal monologue it’s about all the different things that make him A Weirdo (have you ever seen him without that bird on his shoulder? that’s weird) and not only/just his sexuality. the other thing i do have to say about this though is that trc is not really… the most accurate representation of what it’s like to grow up gay in the american south in the late 00s/early 10s. source? me, who grew up gay in the american south during that time. like i just think there are so many things glossed over or not even included because they didn’t serve the overall narrative, which is fine, but if ronan was “real” he likely would’ve experienced more conflict with his peers/superiors and more conflict with himself and his faith wrt his sexuality. but i digress. ronan hates himself for playing god, for being born, for having wants and desires. he thinks he’s weird for being a god, for being born, for listening to shitty music and dressing like bullets era gerard way. i do also think the general attitude from his friends is kind of “oh yeah, ronan’s gay, but his dad just got murdered so we can’t really worry about that right now”. like adam’s not surprised ronan wants him; gansey’s surprise in the trk post-kiss scene is that adam wanted ronan, not vice versa; declan clearly knows but keeps his thoughts on specifically ONLY this topic to himself for some reason (another thing i’ll have to digress about because Come On…). ronan jokes about it to himself (he was not a fan of lamps) and observes it in others (he wondered if kavinsky was gay) and i think he really only takes offense to gay innuendo on his behalf if it happens to also incriminate someone else (i can’t figure out if it’s you or gansey on top; that’s not what gansey is to me). i don’t think ronan wants to believe his friends know, because he isn’t ready for them to know. they might, but they won’t push him about it. i think “im always straight” was a way for him to test the waters, to see how people would respond to his Other Secret. he DOES consider his desire for adam one of his Big Secrets; he does harbor shame and fear related to it; he does grow to accept this in himself faster than he does anything else (like the dreaming). i just think he’s simply got WAY too much he thinks he needs to hate himself for and can’t focus specifically on his sexuality. i don’t think you’re missing anything, but i do think his internalized homophobia is woven so tightly into the fabric of everything else he’s internalizing it all becomes amalgamus. i hope this a satisfactory answer for you.

[vanrouchu]

ily already PLEASE DONT DISAPPEAR LIKE THE REST OF THE WRITERS ❗❗❗

seeing that u have request open. im jumping around in a hula hoop. wanted to ask for ANYTHING realted to nero in any way—dont know what format you may like the most so anything is ok 💔 idk how much do i even have to specify. srry. tumblr is seriously not the app im most familiar with. (IS THIS TOO CRINGE?)

ignore me im just second guessing atp.

i honestly need anything abt nero i cant survive in this economy

this is for my one (1) mahoyakkie follower in this blog i hope u enjoy my epiphany about nero + eggs

sunny side up? scrambled?

How do you like your eggs?

It seemed like a silly question at first. Nero knew that it was pretty embarrassing to linger on the question without ever trying to ask you before. To anyone else, it would be an odd question but it came from someone who had the most authority in the kitchen, performing magic with his hands as he prepared dishes beloved by the residents of the manor.

Which brings him back to the question. It's a universal ingredient, it's hard to go wrong with eggs with the number of ways it can be cooked but preference is important as his standing as the manor’s chef. So what was it? Sunny Side up? Scrambled? Poached?

With the way he's fretting so much over it, there was a little truth that emerged from his continuous pondering. When it comes to others, he usually likes to assume based on instinct or what he thinks suits best for the dish. Although he did think that satisfying preferences were a huge part of cooking up a scrumptious meal, he hasn't reached a point of overthinking it until now.

Seriously, it's just an egg! That's what Nero tried telling himself over and over.

It would be so much easier to walk up and ask you directly. But wouldn't that make him seem a little weird? No, probably not, he's the chef after all. But what if that was the case? No, no—this is really going to be the death of him at this rate. If anyone else had a taste of his thoughts, they'd probably pat his back and say something along the lines of “don't sweat it.”

He just wants to cook you a really nice meal. The one that'll perfectly suit your tastes. A kind of dish you'd want to eat everyday. The last thoughts made his ears turn a little red, that was basically synonymous to a lifelong commitment.

But nothing will happen unless he makes the first move. Nero laughed to himself, he thinks it's funny how this sort of question would be counted as the first move. How oddly fitting for a wizard to have an odd way of approaching love, too.

So forgive him for approaching you first thing in the morning when you enter the dining room, your face still in a daze from your sleep. He just wants to stand in front of you to ask the question he's been meaning to ask since forever.

“Hey, how do you like your eggs?”

[intertexts]

EPISODE 21 TRIVIA:

- bizly, introing the episode: "welcome to just rolled with it where we answer our generations greatest question: will dakota cole break the law?"

- grizzly: "no, you know what? i think the final villain of prime defenders is william fucking wisp! i think youre playing out a villain backstory and youre going to snap and go batshit crazy" < hehehehehehehehe

- charlie: "i dont think its a secret that william is FOR SURE the most likely to become a villain out of the three of us. i dont see it as a permanent final thing but i definitely think it could happen at some point. i think he would have like a red x teen titans arc" WAHOO

- charlie CURRENTLY has no plans to do this he and bizly have never even discussed it. however he thinks its a possibility. "im playing this kid who is VERY smart and has a lot of ideas, but keeps getting shut down by basically everyone and i think hes starting to get a little desperate"

- they start talking about how when charlie plays william he gets "the Chip Brain" which is a reference to how in riptide bizly makes the most WILD NONSENSE decisions and then afterwards goes "i dont know why i did that i was just so in character and i felt like thats what he would do in the moment. out of character i agree that was fucking stupid why did i do that" << so. charlie gets this playing william too LMAO

- HEY UH. FUCKED UP SENTENCE INCOMING !!! "william has literally seen what happens after you die. thats knowledge that almost NOBODY else in this world has. and i think it makes him values life... less. hes seen that theres more after, hes seen that people kind of stick around, i think life to him is a lot more fragile and messy and less black-and-white, killing or not killing. it doesnt hold the same weight. becoming sort of apathetic and desensitized to the concept of death" << THIS IS AWESOMEEEEE FOR ME

- grizzly says hes glad william and vyncent didnt try to break the doctor out of prison like they thought they would because he genuinely wouldnt know how to play that as dakota

- charlie: "william has gotten so protective of dakota that if in his mind there was ANY chance that his friend would die all because of this guy being in jail over false charges, if that was the direction the conversation was going, william actually right then and there wouldve gotten him out. he couldnt have accepted that a situation like that would lead to losing his friend"

- grizzly: "iiiiii would like to sayyyy. bizly. will i still kick absolute ass if i dont have strength and speed, or will I just be some kind of loser" << bizly says maybe but he wpuld have to play dakota as more of a Regular Guy and just have him train at martial arts really hard

- DISCUSSING A TRAINING ARC AGAIN !!!!! which they think would be fun but they dont want to do another timeskip. (<<me who has future knowledge and knows how they figure this out: :3c)

- one of the biggest reasons keeping grizzly from agreeing to break the doctor out now is because hes really afraid he'll be super bitter against the family and augment himself to have some sort of powers and become a supervillain. and he thinks something like that happening would absolutely CRUSH dakota to a point where he wouldnt know how he would come back from that

- bizly had a real time epiphany, everyone was quiet for a minute and he just went "oh my god. i know exactly how this is gonna work. pick anything you want, i got this. i have a way to make everything work"

- grizzly has NO idea which option hes gonna choose, but he thinks hes leaning toward dakota getting a normal heart and just training really hard at martial arts. charlie and condi are saying that theyre really interested to see dakota before he goes and trains because theyve never seen him *weak* before

- grizzly: "if you ever call dakota stupid in character again ill cry"

charlie: "i mean i only did that because he was putting himself in danger! i think william heard him say shit like 'its cool. its okay ive got two years' and i think he just got genuinely really upset at that. william would rather keep his friend alive than spare his feelings"

- "if william ever did become a supervillain he would *never* hurt dakota" (<< WAUGH)

- charlie was gonna ask the doctor about williams whole decaying thing but decided not to because it didnt feel right in the moment. bizly goes "i mean you already know who you need to talk to about that" to which charlie goes NOOOOOOOOOO bc he is implying. mal

- charlie: "william doesnt wanna talk to mal he pisses him off"

grizzly: "why, because its like looking in a mirror?"

condi and bizly at the same time: "ooooooohhhhhhh"

- grizzly: "god this decision is so fucking hard i feel like i need an adult- OH MY GOD can we go see tide. can i not make my decision and instead we just go see tide"

- condi: "vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about this choice. he wants dakota to be powerful because he knows those powers are really important to him but he also doesnt want his friend to fucking die!"

- GRIZZLY IS TALKING ABOUT THE DEMON HE ATE AGAIN AND BIZLY GOT SO FRUSTRATED THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED WILLIAM STUFF:::: "i dont think the demon works how you think it works, its not PHYSICALLY in your stomach it doesnt have a physical form you CANNOT digest it !!!! in this whole campaign, no spirit has been able to wander out and influence the physical world, thats why william is so special as a planeswalker! he is a spirit that has a physical form, he can affect the real world and also be in the spirit world without a guide!"

- theyre discussing the morality of the blake family and grizzly genuinely doesnt know if dakota could process something like this where its sooooo deeply in the grey area, dakota is very black and white he doesnt think he can even understand that right now

SUCH GOOOOD FUCKING TRIVIA THIS EP DUDE!!!!!!! thank u for the foooood. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me.

WIWI VILLAIN ARC. PLEASE. PLEASE. YEAH. honestly at this point i know it's going to happen, i just don't know when n how. not even from ur ominous giggling it just feels SO clear to me that he is a guy who can be so desperate and do anything for the people he loves and i... give him One situation where he doesn't have his very fragile support system of two other extremely fucked up teens and their absent dad who he just doesn't wanna disappoint!!! give him one fucking situation where he's separated from them and scared and there's some threat and you fucking KNOW he's going to be Up To Some Shit. i'd bet real money on both the villain or at least morally grey conflict arc AND that general setup being the catalyst.

god. literally all of this stuff is SOOO good i'm fucking LOCKED ON to the other wiwi planeswalker shit-- that's basically what i was thinking? when the planeswalker thing had come up before? but. tasty... before i started 22 my assumption here was then that the decay situation was like. a subconscious... choiiiice? i guess? like. you know. he perceived himself as dead and his body began to reflect that & then he looked more dead so he got more dead etc etc vicious cycle. but. now i'm not sure??????? ALSO. that thing ab his thoughts on death are so fucking tasty. so so good holy shit. makes sense!! makes sense!! there's less gravity to death when it's just a place you can go, there's less gravity to killing when it's not permanent-ending, just shifting someone from one place to another. like, y'know, when u were a kid, and there was someplace u never went very often & so u thought it was Special and Important & then u grew up and figured out it wasn't actually Special and Important and an Occasion to go there, your mom just hated the parking situation or it was a bit too far for a car ride w/ little kids. that's what death is like to william wisp!! head in hands. not even gonna touch on mal rn!!!

anyway. ghostkicksisms................

[fefairys]

some people are theorizing that the ending of fionna and cake will be simon coming to an epiphany that he can let go of betty and move on from her, and that would be compelling for sure, and a good message about grief, but considering how distant lands: together again ends, with finn having an epiphany that he can just be himself without jake and that he'll be okay reincarnated without him, but then jake being like "lol nevermind actually we should be together forever for all eternity in every life in every universe, im comin with you again!" i... am not Expecting that.

like we already know finn is never going to move on from jake when hes alive. we saw him after he died and he still couldn't move on, even in death. i think adventure time wants to say, "shit, man. sometimes we just cant move on, ever. sometimes someone is so integral to your life that when you lose them you simply will never be okay again, even if you not being okay impacts your friends and loved ones forever! we are kinda selfish! thats life!"

to get personal with it and expose my toxic lil relationship, i know that if my boyfriend died before me, i would simply not ever be able to move on in any meaningful way for the rest of my life. i would always feel like a piece of me is missing, because we really do complete each other, we are defined by each other, we dont know who we are without each other. and i think thats how finn and jake were, and that is textually how simon and betty were! is it healthy? no! but i think it's truthful.

adventure time has never been a show that teaches you lessons on how to be a good, healthy, well adjusted person! even in early seasons, the characters would spend a whole episode trying to learn something, and then either learn NOTHING, or take the completely opposite lessons from it and become worse as people! i think its pretty awesome for that tbh! theyre not teaching you big life lessons, theyre just sort of showing you life, as it happens. yknow???

not to say i'll be disappointed if simon does get to move on and learn to cope with grief in a healthy way, tho, just that its not what i expect from adventure time. i trust this ending to be handled well, no matter what it is. but i imagine it will probably be bittersweet, as is the ending of the original show! erm ok thats all ^_^ byeeee

[cowboy-robooty]

sometimes i wish so badly i knew how to share the same epiphanies I experience to other people. I'm feeling this specifically about how I sincerely do believe that choosing to be just a little bit nicer when you can is important. and everybody knows that of course but what made me really feel it was when i read a giant reddit post describing the differences between the one punch man webcomic and serialization. it's crazy like saitama and genos are kinda just roommates in the webcomic they're just normal friends but in the serialized manga saigenos is so real like their relationship is deep and they NEED eachother and have made eachother better people just by being close together (auaghhhh look. no spoilers but if you know then you know) and i think both worlds are great in different ways of course but in that analysis i read a line that summed it up as "murata's world is one where everybody is just a little bit kinder". And reading that made everything click all of a sudden because if I lived in a world where everyone was just a little bit less nice then saigenos would never happen because one punch man probably would've never been serialized because murata wouldn't have extended his fanboying to ONE and then mob pyscho 100 would never have been made etc etc. and it's not like the world would end or anything; everybody who has been inspired by ONE's work would still be good at what they do I'm sure. But i dont think they'd be AS good as they are now without ONE's influence. And that's how everything would kind of be; fine, but just be a little bit worse. i think realizing that is what makes putting in the effort to just be a little more kind when you can worth it. I wish I could share this feeling with other people, but it's so hard to when everybody has different ways of communicating... legit what communicated this to me was a mf one punch man reddit post (that wasn't even trying to make me have a realization like this). It's easy to say all these things and logically understand them, but it's so difficult to share the feeling to other people.. I hope everybody will be able to feel this sentiment one day though. I guess in short, I just really dont want to live in the world where saigenos isn't real !!! #YAOIFOREVER

[binalakai-archive]

i also wish people would be more receptive to relationship speculation, at the very least. there were so many moments in fionna and cake where simon and fionna’s interactions had me raising my eyebrows and thinking “wow, what’s up with this chemistry rn?” but i know posting about it to see if others also noticed would get me dogpiled lol. glad i’m not the only one entertaining the ship and its implications to/for the characters it encompasses.

also winter king/simon is intriguing as well, if only in a weird homestuck self-shipping (dave and davesprite anyone?) kind of way where both characters get to have major epiphanies bc they’re basically looking into a mirror (may be more of a funhouse mirror for winter king/simon but still works lol)

i do not ship any of these pairings, please dont take this post from a shipping perspective

i apologize in advanced if this post is said messy. its given an opening to many things ive been thinking about since the start of the show and i know i wanna come back to it in case any new developments were to happen at the final season 1 episodes tldr; Kai Talks About how much i Love Very Messed Up Pairings, not because i want them to actually be together, but because i am NOT the type to ignore Seeds That Have been Planted in canon so i will Grow Horrible Realizations i've been having out of them

YEAH NO BECAUSE I LIKE. I JUST WANNA POINT OUT WHAT'S CANON OKAY!! i think this post is like. the only one ive seen that Has Pointed out The Adventure Time Ice King/Fionna dynamic in the lenses of the Simon we have today....and even then thats just a joke post :")

because like. okay. i need people to think about this for a second: yes, ice king didn't Come With with Fionna and Cake's existence, but why in the world would he Choose to be responsible for writing it? for bringing their stories to life and showing off a world that's been living in his head? i genuinely think people don't really like the ugly side of how badly loneliness has mutated Ice King's way of thinking (i mean for gods sake the guy tries to kiss/get with anyone, mf cant even recognize the person he claims to be falling in love with). that, yeah. of course if he had a World Living inside his brain that felt so Real to him that he CONSTANTLY wished for it to not only but true, but one that would be close to him!! one that would welcome him!!!! no matter what itd be, romantic, platonic, To the point of Worship....like ANYTHING that would bring him closer to genuine Connection in his alienating experience. NOTABLY for fionna The Human!!! the human that parallels a real life actual kid that mostly has kicked Ice King's ass to eventually treating him like a Poor confused Old Lost Guy. still, i need to stress the kind of dynamic finn and the ice king have is NOWHERE near the kind of dynamic fionna and ice king have (and even with simon developments included). . ...except this time around, even when he does have his own parallel Ice Queen existing manifesting the Must Needed Rival for their universe to make sense, mutating her character into something that to make her more Vicious/Violent, making Ice King seem Nicer In Comparison and dare i say that, yeah...! some of that HAS been carried onto modern day Fionna!! who CANONICALLY has romantic feelings towards ice prince and the winter king, parallels to ice king/simon himself! just. sorry but i NEED both Simon and Fionna to like. Read Those Stories. I Need them to revisit the VERY specific stories that Ice King felt the need to tell in the first place, his and other people in their lives' inclusions. it would not only reinforce Simon's Influence in the world Period, something that he found himself doubting on ...but also I NEEEEEEDDD to see that can of worms opened. i NEED for Fionna to see for herself the people SHE'S supposed to be representing. i NEED for her to see what kind of void she's been filling in Ice King/Simon's time of existence. i NEED for her to see how big the Obsession GOT, how badly Ice King needed that outlet of escapism (and how much Simon still returns to it in the present day)

^ this moment has been living in my brain ever since the announcement of the Fionna and Cake series that Fionna's fixation on the ice prince, her life, her..everything in general, is more or less a Weird Reflection of the lives of People living Greater Lives than she ever believed to have lived, combined with how said proclaimed experiences of Magic have only been recorded by a guy who Inserted Himself in a world she doesnt even recall living in Im surprised that. hasnt been so Stressed yet in show. im prepared to eat my words if they DO come back to it. but for the time being i really wish Fionna found out how desperate Simon/Ice King was for someone to acknowledge and Desire His Existence, to a degree that would be absolutely humiliating/weird to uncover but Necessary to come back to in order to truly understand the Scope of what 1000+ years of Madness through Ostracization (from others and eventually the Self) Does to a MF

__________ AS OF FOR MY THOUGHTS ON THE WINTER KING, he alas only truly an episode to explore. but the thoughts still exist nonetheless!!! for the most part i can only truly indulge in it out of pure hilarity for its existence, while acknowledging how much im so thankful that winter king was characterized as he was n didnt overstay his welcome, as i didnt find him necessary to stay in the narrative . there's a lot of feelings i have about simon/ice king's perception of himself alone, and how most of it is Either Negative or Overcompensation Due to his own self negativity. which makes me curious on what could come of a Better Version of Himself, looking at the version of himself that has "failed" to conquer the crown the way he has, but contemplated on pursuing romantically, even for a brief moment honestly, i dont blame people for being invested in this pairing (in comparison to fionna/simon, where i cannot myself entertain it even as a joke unlike this one). it makes me curious on what the Winter King's definition of romance is in comparison to Simon's. what could even be desirable, possibly, in the eye's of the Winter King? Does the love of someone you'll go mad over truly make you a Better Person Or Worse? Simon and Winter King existing in the same room together brings up so many questions and possible ways to explore Simon's character. wayyyyyyyyyy less of a "this can be simon's way of practicing self love" thing and MUCH more of a "These Guys Kissing each other would be the equivalent of the Narcissus Tale but with a Distorted Reflection that only Represents You because the reflection Demands That of you"

[pes-the-immortal]

So the craziest of things just happened and i feel the need to document on the internet like its a reddit horror story. So hi person happening to read this. Im pes. But call me anything you like. It is currently 12:20 Central daylight time on the morning of October 16th 2024. I literally had an epiphany in the middle of the game. I literally in read time realize how lazy i was being.

It may not sound like alot but everything just

Clicked.

So i was playing brawlhalla. and will continue doing after i finish typing this. I have been playing like six years and im like low plat. But i was terrible for soooooo long.

Like 250 wins in silver. But i kinda just died alot and learned the hitboxes that way. Like i refused to look at tutorials. I literally didn't know anything. I just played Caspian and hit them before they hit me.

So when i got friends eho were good at it. Like very good. I realized all the shit you could do in this game. And then i watched the videos and tutorials.

Then i actually started training the muscle memory for movement and jusy how much freedom you have if you actually use your head and strip away all the bullshit thoughts and stop being scared.

Like im barely paying attention to one thing at any time. I need music and a game and another game on my phone.

I forever have multiple tabs open. Im realizing im having the epiphany while i type this.

Its interesting .

And im realizing i do this with literally everything. Everything i read and watch and play. Anything i can devote brainpower too

I should be learning everything.

Because why not.

The stuff i like is getting boring. Reading anything. My pride and joy

Whats kept me sane.

I just was to share them before i get more. I want a reason to read.

But if youve read this far. For whatever reason. Feel free to say hi. Im so bored. Weirdness would be interesting. Im leaving this here so that i dont forget this moment. As an anchor in my memories. To be my center. To be in the moment. How it feels.