Must You Really Leave?
Mentions: Riddle Centric, 2nd Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Heavy Angst
The mirror chamber was one of the few rooms you were familiar with ever since your arrival to Twisted Wonderland.
In fact, you made it quite a point to avoid it at all costs.
Why would you want to go near the room that held your one guaranteed to a chance at returning home. One that was oh so slim that it was nearly impossible to find the proper ritual that would ensure your safe return with its magic.
It felt unreal, almost like a dream as you stood in the middle of it. Bag in hand filled with mementos of those you came to eventually call your family, pockets stuffed with numerous letters said family insisted you take to remember them by, ears buzzing with the echoes of their farewells.
All but one.
“I assume you have everything you require for your safe return?” Riddle inquired, voice tense and jaw ticking as he struggled to maintain a blank face. Hands were ever so dutifully placed behind his back, white clenched fists hiding behind the facade of the ever so composed head of Heartslabyul. Posture pin straight as always and head held high, the embodiment of perfection.
You knew better, though. You always knew better and he hated you for it.
He hated that he couldn’t fool you like all the others.
Hated that you couldn’t just accept the mask he created to make this all the less painful.
Hated that instead of turning away from him and walking away forever you had to gently put your bag down and straighten without once looking away.
Hated that you had to put on that stupid smile and open up your arms in the way that you knew he couldn’t turn away from.
Most importantly, he hated himself.
Oh, how he despised every fiber of his weak being for breaking so easily in that moment and practically running into them.
The mask he so expertly crafted shattered the moment your gentle touch envelope him, and the dam he cemented inevitably began to leak as he tucked his head into its usual spot. The safe haven that he had spent nights cradled in, face hidden away by the safety of the angelic being that was you, mere moments away from forever being taken away from him. The loving arms that took up their usual place around him, stroking his back with such grace that his lips trembled at the thought of being stripped of it. The very arms that always held him oh so gently throughout his journey of redemption. Protecting him from the dark thoughts and doubts that tortured him after the hell you saved him from when you first came to this world.
Then reality truly hit and not even he could stop the broken sob that slipped out.
He didn’t notice how you tensed, your hands freezing at the agonizing sound of your lover in such pain. Pain that you brought him, pain that you once promised you would never inflict because you would be different. Different from all those who failed him in the past, different from even himself who for a long time believed himself unworthy of the love and affection you promised to bring him. Yet here you were, bringing the Riddle Rosehearts to his knees.
“Must…must you really leave?” He choked, voice warbled and words slurred as he scrambled to hold you tighter than ever before. It was pathetic, childish, immature, and he should have composed himself right there and then to save whatever ounce of dignity he may have had left in such a moment. For the first time, though, he found that he didn’t care. If it meant that he would get just a minute more of time with you then he would scream and cry without shame.
Your heart shattered as his wails echoed throughout the mirror chamber, hiccups chipping your sanity one by one. The ache in your knees was ignored as you shuffled even closer to him, ensuring that not an ounce of space was left between your bodies. An act that hurt even more than you thought as memories of late night embraces flooded your mind. The moments of pure love and vulnerability that were meant for no one but you and him, parts of yourselves shared that would never belong to anyone but the other. Yet here you were, stealing it all away.
Yes, you were very cruel.
The silence that surrounded you was answer enough apparently as his weeping grew louder, borderline desperate as his hands clawed at your back. The way he pressed himself against you made it seem as if he was trying to mold himself into your person, an futile attempt to become one and prevent the cruel fate that awaited you both.
It was almost funny, terribly so you thought.
The one thing you wanted more than anything since you were first snatched from everything you knew and loved was turning out to be so torturous that you were starting to consider…
That would be selfish though, would it not?
You had a life. You had friends, family, hopes, dreams, wishes that you fought for, ones that were just a few steps and a mirror trip away. All the longing, the fear, the despair you felt when dozens of leads led to nothing but anguish and disappointment. Would it all be for nothing if you didn’t seize the only way home you had now?
However, would it not be even worse if you were to leave the one who was with you every step of the way?
He who wiped away your tears on the days where the homesickness was all consuming. He who brought a smile to your face and washed away all the doubt when you questioned your worth in the new world. He who shed all his thorns and instead used them to protect you from all the evil of the unknown you were forcibly thrust into.
Your rose.
Would it be just as worth it to leave him behind to welt and decay, as you inevitably would if you decide to part?
The small bit of doubt you hid since the Headmaster's announcement of the discovery of your way home began to grow, and as you absentmindedly began to caress Riddle's head as he continued to cry you felt it begin to consume.
Must you really leave?
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