#i dont know how to help my kid brother when he writes things for school like

[is-mayonnaise-a-coping-skill]

.

[depresssant]

Shades of Cool

NEGLECTFUL!PLATONIC!YAN!batfam x GN!reader

synopsis : growing up with a shit mom and constant step-dads and mom's boyfriends, your view on life has grown pretty bleak. you just want to die, since it doesn't seem to get better than this. things can't get any worse, can they?

wsp guys. it's been pretty long, huh?... OK IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IT QUICKLY. here, damn 🙄. anyways, i hope yall enjoy n im glad u guys liked the first chapter. lets just hope this one lives up to yalls expectations 😭. follow me and repost this if u want a chapter three. also I NEED SOMEONE TO EDUCATE ME ABOUT SUNDAY FROM HSR BC I WANNA WRITE FICS ABOUT HIM SO BAD SO PLS SOMEONE EDUCATE ME N ALSO IF U KNOW LOVE AND DEEP SPACE??? PLS HIT ME UP AND EXPLAIN THIS LORE BC I WANNA WRITE YANDERE FICS FOR THEM SO BAD

“Why are balls called balls when testicles sounds hella fancier?”

At your friend’s bizarre question, the face of your other friend, Zarian, twinges in disgust. “Jayelene… why do you feel the need to put that out there?”

You huff in amusement, focusing on your pizza before what Jaylene says ruins your entire mood.

“I’m just saying! Testicles just seems more appropriate⏤the type of fancy shit drake and his family would say.”

Tim Drake Wayne…

Dinner with him and his freak-a-zoid family was like trying to make it past no-man’s land without any help to shield you from the straight up chilling vibes they gave off with their constant comments about bat facts. Bats. The atmosphere during the entire time you spent there was dreadful and quite literally heavy since Tim's youngest little brother wanted to sneak stares at you as if you wouldn’t notice his bug-looking eyes creeping into your soul.

Rich people really are weird, huh?

The Wayne family is nothing like how you expected them to be. They’re supposed to be cold, mysterious, and irresistibly enchanting, but all you’ve got are creepy vibes and a strong urge to stay away from them as much as possible. From the way Mr. Wayne made that weird comment about your father in the limo to how forcibly happy Richard or “Dick” was with you, you’ve come to an understanding that rich people are complete lunatics.

The Wayne family is full of a bunch of lunatics.

And you’re not afraid to voice that.

“There you go again,” Jaylene sighs when she notices the irritated expression on your face. “It’s never that serious, [Name]. You just hate everyone.”

“No, you don't get it! They were creepy as hell! Like… Like bats in dark caves coming at you all at once. They talk funny, they look funny⏤they act funny! What normal man name drops your mother’s name after knowing each other for about thirty minutes?”

Zarian huffs in amusement. “That’s the creepy part. How does Mr. Wayne know your name?”

“I dont know.” You run your fingers through your hair and lean back against the booth seat. “I don't want anything to do with them. Billionaire or not, how the hell does he know my mother’s name.”

It was perhaps towards the end of your stay at the Wayne’s manor for dinner, and you knew you had to go home, so you had largely hinted at leaving to Drake. Everything had gotten wrapped up, but when you were just about to leave, Mr. Wayne had told you, “make sure to tell [M/n] I said hi.”

You could only stare at him in shock as your body carried along, because how does a man as famous and wealthy as bruce wayne know your mother⏤your mother? He’s the chief executive officer of Wayne Enterprises yet mentions your mother?

That moment alone is enough to wave every red flag in your brain that screams at you, telling you something is up with these shady people. The only question is what? What can a billionaire possibly want from you? Out of everything the world has to offer, the most influential billionaire in America wants to target some meager high school kid?

What do these people want from you? Is it a rich people thing to play around with those below you? Well, you guess it probably is. Like, is Mr. Wayne gonna pop out with his soulless eyes and say, ‘you’re my long lost child?’ or something?

You still don’t know why you’re being a goat stuffed before slaughtering. These people want something from you, but you? You’ve got nothing to offer that they could want. Why the hell do they even bother? If there's one thing you really hate, it’s being left in the dark like this. Not knowing is terrifying. It's dangerous. Not knowing means not being prepared, and if you’re not prepared, you won’t make it out. Damn it, you should’ve booked it the moment Mr. Wayne mentioned your father in the limo. Movies and shows always display rich people as eccentric and psychopathic weirdos, and now you’re finally believing it.

Damn it.

You’re in danger. Okay.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But maybe it’s not.

You’ve watched enough true crime and have enough intuition and trust in your gut to know when something is wrong.

It’s not adding up.

You’re not dumb. You see all the warnings there, but what if you're exaggerating. What if this is just the nature of the Waynes, and you think you’re special enough to be noticed by them? Mr. Wayne is a damn billionaire! He’s got the money to do whatever he wants, so it’s only natural for him to do a background check on everybody that interacts with his sons, right?

It’s all in your head… It’s all in your head.

Sighing, you stare at the plate of food in front of you, appetite long gone. Still, you grab a fork and continue to eat as Zarian and Jaylene scream back and forth next to you. Drake, who had accompanied the three of you to the diner after practice, has left, thankfully. He left as soon as his food arrived while talking about some family emergency, and honestly, you’re pretty damn grateful for that.

Ever since dinner at his house, he’s surrounded you like a pillow smothering you, and you can’t do anything about it. He’s a billionaire’s son, for fuck’s sake.

It doesn’t take long for you and your friends to finish up, and you all part ways at the door of the diner before you clutch the straps of your backpack and walk around the city endlessly. This is a habit for you now⏤a way to put off going home as much as possible ever since you found out your mother’s boyfriend doesn’t come home until one or two in the morning.

That balding, ugly, sleazy piece of shit.

He’s as gross as every other man your mother’s brought home under the terribly veiled illusion that he’ll provide her a good life and treat her right. No matter how many times you try to tell that blind bitc… No. It's wrong. It’s not your mother’s fault.

But it sometimes feels like that, though.

Most mother’s destroy their own lives for their children, yet yours cannot even think about leaving the man that beats her child on a daily. Those types of mothers leave their spouses the second they see something wrong, while your mother treats those finger-print bruises around your neck like a necklace instead of abuse.

You’ve given up on her. You gave up on her back when you were eleven years old locked in a room with her boyfriend, and she didn’t listen. Or when you were twelve. Or thirteen. Or fourteen. Or fifteen. Or sixteen. Or seventeen. And now eighteen.

And each day feels like a repetition of the same. Wake up, go to school, practice, walk around, go home, get beat, and sleep like none of it all happens. It’s a routine you despise with every fiber of your being⏤makes you wanna jump over Gotham City Bridge before thinking about returning home because who would want to? Who wants this average life?

A life where you’re not happy enough, not sad enough. Not good enough, not bad enough. Not energized enough, not tired enough. You feel like a survivor of a plane crash floating on a raft at the center of the endless ocean with no way out. Everything just seems so vast, wide, and unreachable. How can you find the shore on a simple raft? How can you find a way out of inescapable misery if it’s not by drowning?

You’ve been waiting to find the shore, but it’s been a whole eighteen years since you’ve found yourself floating along the ocean.

That whole “it’ll get better” shit is a tragic lie.

Whatever.

It doesn’t matter⏤not anymore, at least. You’re going to get far away from this place and never look back. Never have to relieve this wretched city. Never have to be confined by chains again. You’ve only a few months left before you’re free.

Until then, you’ll have to be patient and go home because the sun has fully disappeared.

Nothing but satellites twinkle in the disgustingly polluted sky of Gotham City, and the streets have come to a staggering halt as you stroll about the sidewalks, trying to find the longest path to get home. One in the morning is always the perfect time in Gotham because it’s too late and too early to be outside, so it’s generally safe for a walk.

Of course, the universe likes to prove you wrong at every point.

The sound of a thud followed by a pained groan behind you has your legs locked and ready to run with your brain screaming alerts, but you take a deep breath and turn around. How bad can it get, anyways? The sight before you surprised you nonetheless. It’s… Nightwing, a Bludhaven hero, here in Gotham, just randomly popping up behind you?

With clear bleeding cuts and sprouting bruises across his body.

In the random alley you just happen to be in?

No. You’re looking into it too much.

His eyes lock onto and they make you freeze right then and there like he’s cast some spell upon you. But that’s for a cold, brief second before you’re hooking your thumbs under the straps of your backpacks and turning around hot on your heels, refusing to spare him a single second. 

You even hear him murmur a strained, “wait,” but you don't care. 

It’s rude, mean, cruel, and it’s also none of your business. All you simply do is walk ahead to your approaching doom with an pit of unease and bitter understanding of your helplessness in your stomach. You can already feel the soon-to-be new bruises blooming along your back.

You’re not a good person.

But, really, who is?

Smoking really does skill.

But now you know why people do it.

Each drag is more out of necessity than it is a choice ever since you’ve met your friend’s plug at the dumb age of sixteen, but it's a way to dull the harsh truth of reality. The world just fades into nothing but muted and mixed colors like the loud city underneath your balcony it blurs into a faint hum the longer you stare at the spiral puffs of smoke that disappear into the air. 

Everything’s bitter⏤the joint and you.

Really bitter at the blood semi-dried on your face and the dull ache along your back.

You’ve got about an hour and a half until you have to head out to school, so what other way is there to spend it than smoking away your brain? The joint’s a temporary escape, but it helps you stall whatever new feeling of despair you’ll feel for the day. Until you’re interrupted by your phone buzzing⏤the sound still a dull hum in your ears

“... Hello?”

“[Name]!”

Zarian’s voice?

“Where the hell are you? Hurry up and get to school or else you’re gonna get in trouble for not helping to set up the club fair, and coach will be on our ass! And don't forget to bring money for the tickets!”

Coach?... Club fair?... Club fair! Holy shit!

Your eyes shoot open, and you frantically scramble up, tossing the joint over the balcony railing before hectically staggering through the living room like a drunk man. Damn it, how could you be so clueless and forget such an important event? Especially one you need money for! Damn it⏤damnit! What do you do?

… Mom! She’s got a box of money somewhere in her closet, right? You’ve seen it before! It's just twenty dollars, and she wont notice. Okay… Okay. You’re quick to get ready. You wash away all the blood that’s dried on your face, brush your teeth, and change into baggy jeans and a clean shirt before storming into your mother’s bedroom and rummaging through her things. 

She’s off at work. Her bastard boyfriend doesn't come home until late at night, which means he’s probably already taken money for the day. Okay. That's fine. They won't notice.

But you can't find anything! What the hell? Where is that fucking box? You could’ve sworn it was there on the top shelf last night, but as you swipe your hands across everything on the shelf, you can’t find it. All of a sudden, something made of wood hits the top of your head and falls to the ground with a crack. You hiss, palm moving to cover where you got hit, but your eyes land on the box that now has money strewn all across the floor and a broken… false bottom?

What the fuck.

You pull away at the rest of the false bottom to only be met with countless photos of you as a child with your mother. Mom’s shit boyfriend had all the family photos taken down for some weird reason, so they’ve been here this entire time? All of these photos are full of you throughout every stage of your life, but some have different people in them as well. Their faces are either scratched out or they’re ripped out of the photo entirely.

From what you can gather, the figures are a man and what seems to be a teenage boy. The absurdity and even slight creepiness of the scratched out faces has you laughing, yet even with your now dulled senses, your eyes land on a photo you failed to notice earlier. Maybe you’re hallucinating. There must be something wrong with your brain. Or your eyes. The universe must be playing with you because is that a photo of you and a teenage-looking dick grayson?

Your eyes widen because it looks just like the strange man you had the unfortunate opportunity of having a conversation with during dinner with the Waynes. It’s him! More importantly, why the hell is he holding a ‘three year old’ you’s hand? You probably should be screaming. Yelling. Maybe panicking? But all you can do is shuffle through the rest of the box before your fingers graze against something metal that has your heart jumping.

It’s a small camera.

With a bat engraved on its side.

Ears ringing so loudly in your head you can't even think, you wipe your teary and red eyes hastily before grabbing a twenty dollar bill, putting everything except for the photo and camera in the box, set it back on the closet shelf, and hastily grab your backpack before making way to school.

The second you reach the damned place, you seek out your now three friends and drop into a seat with a heavy thud, sighing and meeting Tim's eyes with a burning gaze.

“You mean to tell me [Name] found the camera? And you decided to tell me after school?”

Time Drake Wayne sighs and runs his fingers through his black hair, shrugging apathetically while scrolling through every photo in his phone that he’s taken of you during the club fair. His brother, Richard, is pacing throughout his room anxiously as he rambles off about their latest fuckup. 

“Look, Bruce doesn't let any slip ups happen,” Tim murmurs in exasperation. “He wouldn't let this happen because [Name]’s mom and him talked this morning. Relax, he probably knows.”

It's not a lot, but it’s enough to calm Richard down. The man takes a deep breath but finds himself sitting down next to Tim, trying to get a good look at the pictures. “How mad was [Name]?”

“High, for starters, but clearly pissed off. Very observant, too.”

“Don’t tell anyone else. Not until Bruce gives us the okay.”

TAGLIST :

@ilovemyhusbandnanami (so real), @missikkj, @ferakillia, @darlinqvi, @soriansick, @sleepydhanie, @h0rr0r-10ver-69 (love ur blog aesthetic bae), @anuttellaa (OK WINX 😽), @feral-childs-word (love the pfp), @shycreatorreview, @friesandfixations, @stuff6969fuckyou, @babiebubsie, @jsprien213, @cattioo, @cherrydaisymanic (cheetah?leopard? printttt 😍), @00hellohello00, @princessloveweird, @amber-content, @idonthaveanameforthisacc, @f1lover4ever, @dreamsarenicer, @imaginarydreams, @solkara (love the calm aesthetic), @bobfood, @toast-on-dandelioms, @ijustfuckme, @cantfindmelol, @xx1shadow1xx, @azulawayne, @box-of-kinderjoy, @iamaunknownsecret, @missybabes, @phoenixgurl030, @couldeatthatgirlforlunch, @devils-blackrose, @arevvv, @freakthis, @yourhornysister, @kirahhhh, @perfectparadisegardener, @testishere, @spaceunicorn293, @vanilliona (love the pfpp), @uknowimdumb, @esposadomd, @dakotali, @lilyalone, @kore-of-the-underworld, @pix-stuff, @hellcatsworld, @chericia, @mspoisoncoil (love the bannnnerrr) , @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @cheeseburgercasserole (love the aesthetic), @twismare

so follow me n repost if u want part lll. and somebody pls explain hsr and love and deepspace lore to me. making a taglistttttt. if this post doesnt get as many likes as the first one, im deleting this series 😭. if u see a grammatical mistake, no u didnt 😃🔪

if anybody’s got requests about this series or in general, feel free to ask!!!

WAIT!! FOLLOW MY WATTPAD ACCOUNT : @depresssant. I JUS PUBLISHED A HISTORICAL YANDERE X READER STORY

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Hank McCoy’s sibling

Hank McCoy x sibling!reader

warnings:

a/n: i started writing this fic months ago and when i was halfway done mobile glitched and deleted the whole draft so i gave up out of rage anyways. i dont think i liked how it turned out but idk!

prompt: anonymous: “Hellooo !! First of all i have to say that i love your fics !! Second of all , i wanted to request a headcanon , with being hank mccoy’s little sister?? I was thinking that she is a mutant and she has powers like Wanda. It would be really cool to see is with the other x men. Also her age to be around 14 when the first movie sets place ?( Sorry if i didn’t explain it well)”

being a mutant who had just discovered their powers was hard

what was even harder was that your brother hank had to take you in when it happened

hank understood what it felt like to be different, and luckily he had a good enough job to support you

“just sit here and do your homework. quietly” -hank, seating you in his office at work

“what makes you think i wont be quiet?” -you

“you blew up the toaster this morning” -hank

“it burnt my toast” -you

“listen, okay? no one can no we are what we are. just be calm. if you need help on your homework, let me know” -hank

you spent a lot of time at hank’s work, which led to you two immediately being exposed by charles xavier when he waltzed into your lives

“oh, dear, you’ve just experienced your mutation recently. you’re a powerful one, but you can’t control it well. we can help with that” -charles

he quickly realized it was a mistake to comment on yours and your brother’s…issues

“no! no, y/n, it’s too dangerous. you’re in middle school, you have homework. im not letting him turn you into a soldier” -hank

if you couldn’t tell by now, hank was a bit anxious about raising you

after all, your powers weren’t much alike, he didn’t know how to navigate this

“i need to learn how to control them, or else im gonna hurt someone” -you

you didn’t understand what it felt like to look different, but he didn’t understand what it felt like to fear yourself

“who’s the kid?” -alex

“that’s my sibling, y/n” -hank

“what’s your power?” -alex

“it’s kind of…uncontrollable. i can’t show you” -you

“i know how that feels” -alex

“you do?!” -you

when alex finally revealed his power, it made you excited to show your energy blasts

you managed to keep them mostly contained and alex gave you a huge high five

“stay away from him, y/n. he’s not a good influence” -hank

“but we have similar powers. im not alone!” -you

“doesn’t mean you need to be friends” -hank

the rest of the gang was super sweet to you, but you had to remind them you were young, not little

“you’re probably the strongest out of all of us, kiddo” -raven

sean liked to pretend like you were super scary and cower whenever you looked at him

“no please dont hurt me!!!” -sean, convincingly but sarcastically

you became everyone’s little sibling

“admit it, we’ve never been closer” -you

“yeah, you’re right” -hank

“and we aren’t so lonely” -you

“that’s also true” -hank

“so why are you acting so protective and jealous” -you

“im just used to it being us two” -hank

“yeah but now we aren’t struggling, we have all this space to move around and time to focus on important things. i can finally use my powers without getting scared!” -you

“are you still keeping up with your schoolwork?” -hank

“stop worrying so much, hank” -you

regardless of his protests, you still geared up to fight and it infuriated him

what infuriated you was that he was blue

“what. the hell. did you do?” -you

“im the adult here, why are you in that suit. y/n’s not going on this mission. and watch your language!” -hank

you nearly gave him a heart attack, but by the end of the fight he was proud of you. truly.

for a short time, the remainer of the team stayed together

alex and you trained together often

“hey! only i can bully hank” -you

“oh, you’re making rules now?” -alex

“i am the boss around here” -you

charles admired how far you’d come

and hank was honestly grateful he wasn’t raising you alone

you continued your schooling and just as you graduated, charles offered you a job teaching at the school for gifted youngsters

but it shortly closed after that, leaving you without much of a purpose

“hank, i think i need to go off on my own” -you

“it’s too dangerous, y/n. you’re much better off here” -hank

“you mean with you and charles? two of the most self-hating mutants i know? charles is injecting himself with medication to stop his powers. medication YOU made. how long until you make one for me so im not so ‘dangerous’ anymore” -you

“what could you possibly do out there?” -hank

“i already got a job as a teacher, hank. i’m off to go live my life. call me if you need me” -you

he did call you later, rambling about a mutant from the future preventing a war or something. just that you needed to come back

“y/n, good to see you” -logan

“do i know you?” -you

“apparently he knows all of us” -charles

“thats not weird” -you, sarcastically

it’d been a while since you’d seen any action, so it was a little refreshing doing something like breaking into the pentagon

“after this, maybe we could go out sometime” -peter

“get away from them!” -hank

“i got this hank—kid, i’m too old for you” -you

“you’re barely five years older than me” -peter

“you’re seventeen. go away.” -you

you and hank laughed about it later

really, it was weird seeing erik and raven again. even charles with his shit together. it was like old times

you just wished it could stick

you left before any more damage could be done to your personal life and gave hank a big hug

“be safe. don’t do anything stupid” -you

“hey, thats what i was gonna say” -hank

you went back to your life and soon got a call from charles

a job offer, the school was opening again

“come home, y/n. hank misses you” -charles

it took some convincing, but you came back

and maybe this time things would be different

you got your classes and were ready to start teaching a new generation of mutants the way you wished you were taught

(sorry i cut this short i ran out of ideas 😭)

taglist: @locke-writes // @randomawesomeperson102 // @captainshazamerica // @dindjarinsspouse // @summersimmerus // @simp-legend // @nekoannie-chan // @groovy-lady // @deanzboyfriend // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 //

[songspirits]

rating fanon portrayals of the outsiders boys

note: my guesses on the canon personalities probably arent even true lol this is my opinion

-

ponyboy curtis

5/10

sometimes the portrayals are really good!! but i hate that often, people portray him either as a moody brat or a weak baby. he is canonically a good fighter, especially after the fire, though he doesn’t like to. hes a loner, hes a reader, hes a pacifist, hes a good kid.

you have to remember that the outsiders is literally written in HIS POINT OF VIEW!!! ofc yes he’s a sassy and snarky teenager but he is also so intelligent and smart. hes a loner, but the gang would never shun his company. he has so much depth that a lot of writers often forget. hes a 14 year old kid with thoughts of a adult and can only do so much. thats what makes the outsiders so relatable to alot of people. its his intelligence that makes him and darry argue, because of how darry sees himself in ponyboy

but also on the other side of the coin ponyboy is a fragile character after the events of the book, because he is 14!!! but he has thoughts!!

i feel like people forget his good traits and only focus on the bad (and oh my goodness does this count for darry too!)

sorry for my rambles i just love his character so much :-(

darry curtis

7/10

besides fanfiction.net and like 30% of the fics on ao3 hes actually a solid portrayal most of the time, but tons of people forget that his relationship with ponyboy wasnt actually that batshit awful. sure theyd butt heads alot and go back and forth but they love each other thats why they did that. hes so much more than just an angry man who happens to be ponyboys brother.

hes a man who peaked in high school (IM KIDDING) and lost it all not because of his brothers but because of his parents. there was probably some strong resentment there for a while until they died. darrys problem or flaw is that he cares too much and his fear turns to anger. its love for sodapop and ponyboy that brings him back when he realizes his anger is doing more bad than good for his little brothers. It’s opening up and allowing his brothers in that helps his character.

that being said, people often focus more on his bad traits than his good traits. its a running theme in the outsiders fandom, i’ve noticed

sodapop curtis

7.5/10

highest rating i have on this list!! fanfiction.net outsider fics ive gotta say i actually just cant handle it so thats why it isnt a full 8 and ao3 is a 50/50

people put that hes soft but also forget that hes wild. hes batshit CRAZY. hes just as protective as darry and just as snarky as ponyboy. hes soft!! hes rough!! sodapop curtis is a dynamic character!!!!

johnny

5/10

ehhhhhh, most johnny portrayals i’ve seen are either really good or really bad. kinda ponyboy’s problem, being seen as weak. hes just a dynamic character who is allowed to be weak but also has so many strong traits about him. he is a frightened wounded animal to most but to the gang hes something more than that. also, snarky and ‘over’ johnny portrayals are great.

dallas

4/10

most portrayals i’ve seen are pretty good but its the same problem ive seen in all the boys— they only focus on a few traits dallas has (aggressive, tough, hardened) and stick with that. forgetting the youth in dallas winston and making his character honestly… less tragic?

imo the tragedy of the outsiders is the youthfulness in all the boys and how shitty situations couldnt make them more vulnerable, so i would love more of a vulnerable dallas in fics around the gang. another thing, people forget how much ponyboy really does mean to dallas. johnny and ponyboy were both his brothers and he’d did so much for the both of them precisely bc of that

two-bit

5/10

again.💔people forget how DYNAMIC these characters are!!! two-bit knows when to get serious for the love of god!!

steve

1/10

what portrayal. ☹️ppl dont write him enough and if they do its like one line #justiceforsteve

in conclusion

the outsiders fandom often have such good portrayals but only for one part of their character. this isnt to shame anyone or anything!! but this is just a helpful criticism ?? for any writers out there portraying the boys!! trust me i had to think abt this too lmao

[stevie-petey]

I have blurb idea for the kids in season one when you have time for it. In season one after bug left with Nancy and Jonathan the kids debriefing on what they just saw. Which is basically just the kids gossiping about what they think is going on between the three. Like Mike asked Nancy if she liked Jonathan now so clearly he saw something going on ya know?

anon i LOVE this one its always so fun writing the kids gossiping about the teens <333

enjoy !

"whats going on with your sister and jonathan, man?" lucas asks your brother as they watch you run out of the schools gym after jonathan and nancy.

dustin sighs and rests his head against the bleachers. "i dont know. theyve been weird all week."

"i think it has something to do with my sister?" mike joins in on the conversation now. "i asked nancy if she liked jonathan and then she got all weird."

"why would she like him if shes with harrington and y/n is with jonathan?" lucas frowns now, feeling suddenly defensive over you. "do we need to do something?"

mike hits his friend with the back of his head. "no, doofus. y/n doesnt need you to fight for her weird honor."

"well, i mean, maybe she does-"

dustin slaps a hand over lucas' mouth with a disgusted look on his face. "dude. your crush on my sister is showing and its gross."

lucas yanks dustins hand away and shrieks. "i do not have a crush on y/n!"

mike and dustin share a look with one another as el, who has been quiet this entire conversation as she rests, lets out a weak giggle. during her few days observing you with the party, its obvious even to her that lucas has a slight crush on you.

seeing everyones disbelief, lucas throws his hands up in the air and groans. "look, this isnt about me! clearly theres something wrong between jonathan and y/n, and if theyre fighting then that means we wont be able to get free rides out of them anymore."

"why wouldnt we get free rides if theyre fighting?" dustin asks, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"because jonathan has his own car and we'd be taking y/n's side," mike says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world with an eye roll. "duh."

your brother feels a certain happiness at the knowledge that his friends would take your side against jonathans. and, even though will isnt here right now, they all know that he would also ditch his brother in a heartbeat for you.

all the kids would.

youre a part of the party.

the boys eat the cookies that you made for them in silence for a while as they think about the strangeness between you and jonathan tonight. while theyre more than willing to defend you and take your side, they cant help but be worried about it.

theyve never seen you and jonathan so off kilter before, and it frightens them to even consider the idea that the connection between you two could be severed.

"theyll be okay, right?" lucas finally voices the worries that they all have quietly sat with.

dustin sighs, also unsure himself. hes grown up watching the two of you become intertwined with one another. now, he watches as you slowly unravel, and hes not sure how it will end. "its y/n and jonathan we're talking about. of course theyll be okay... they-they have to be okay."

"well thats depressing." mike says with yet another eye roll. "why cant we just keep y/n and replace jonathan with someone else?"

"careful, mike." lucas leans in close to the boy now and puckers his lips and makes kissing noises. "nancy could replace harrington with jonathan."

"yuck!" mike shoves his friend away and looks towards dustin for help. "that wont happen, right?"

dustin frowns. for once, he really isnt sure. he saw nancy and jonathan earlier, how they almost left you behind tonight, and he saw the hurt in your eyes when you watched them together. theres feelings there between the three of you, and dustin is afraid for you. its obvious to everyone how much you adore jonathan; your entire world revolves around the guy.

with a sigh, dustin shakes his head. "no idea, man. i dont understand teenagers."

"no one does." lucas rests his head in his hand and chews sadly on his cookie. then, with poorly hidden curiosity, he asks, "my crush on y/n isnt that obvious, right? like, she has no idea?"

mike and dustin again share a look and shake their heads at their friend while el lifts her head up. with all the energy she has left in her, she responds to lucas. "friends dont lie."

lucas covers his face in embarrassment and groans as mike, el, and dustin all break into laughter.

[softxsuki]

I feel like this is a weird request, and I just wanted to say before hand that I’m not in this situation anymore but sometimes I imagine something similar happened when it was in effect. Could you maybe write about the toman boys (as a group, as toman I mean) somehow finding out their friend is currently an active victim of sex trafficking? How they’d react to it and stuff? I think a lot of ppl dont realize a lot of times with kids it’s not being thrown in a cage or something, often they let you go to school and live a normal life too. If you feel the need to do research b4 writing BTW, I recommend watching some TIKTOKS by nicolegrows as she had a very similar experience to me

Toman with Reader Who is A Victim of Trafficking

DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO. NOT. READ THIS IF MENTIONS OF SEX TRAFFICKING WILL TRIGGER YOU!

Pairings: Toman x Gn!reader (platonic)

Warnings: mentions of sex trafficking, needing counseling for trauma/PTSD

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 470

Summary: In which Toman finds out that you're actively a victim of sex trafficking

[A/N; Thanks for letting me know that this request was actually urgent. I just got a second today to write this. The best I could do was headcanons, because I physically couldn't write out a more detailed description of this scenario, but I hope it's helpful. You just said Toman, so I wrote how the gang as a whole would respond to finding out about this! I'm glad you made it through something as horrible as this. The world is a scary place.

cutting this here, incase anyone ignores my warnings. PROCEED WITH CAUTION PLS.

Okay well first of all, as soon as they find out that you’re in any kind of danger, Mikey commands everyone immediately to get into action to save you

You’re their friend; though not officially in the gang because they didn’t want to put you into any danger from the many enemies they have, you remained friendly with each other and hung out frequently

Baji was the one who noticed something strange, so he took matters into his own hands; he secretly followed you around and took note of any suspicious activity he saw from the people around you

But certain things made everything very clear and so he reported it all to Mikey right away, who them proceeded to act immediately

Their first step is taking you away from the people who are doing this to you–whether you’re aware of your situation or not; it doesn’t matter, they’re getting you out of there

It becomes a small operation, only the Captains and vice captains of the divisions along with Mikey and Draken are in charge of safely collecting you and ensuring that you never have to be in that environment again

They call the police to inform them, and show up to your “home” without their gang uniforms on–their job is to take you out of there, not draw attention to themselves and risk the perpetrators running off before the police even arrive. The police could deal with everything else when they got there

It took everything in Toman not to take their anger out on your “caretakers”; it was now Toman’s job to take care of you and give you a new home with them, not get in trouble and leave you alone

Obviously, you needed a lot of support from all your friends, and professional support as well, which they all helped you out with

Mitsuya was probably the one you ended up confiding in the most–being as he was an older brother to his younger sisters, you felt especially safe with him

But aside from him, the boys all made you feel very welcome and safe

If they weren’t protective of you before, they definitely were now

Mikey had ordered someone to always be on guard of you at all times, if he wasn’t available to do it (he usually was, but in the rare case that he couldn’t, another toman member would quietly be keeping an eye on you from afar)

You’d most likely be living with Mikey and his Grandfather, who treated you with so much kindness and understanding after Mikey explained everything to the older man

You were Toman’s family now and they’d do anything to make sure you continued your life the way you were meant to live it; helping you with anything you needed in the process to recover and overcome everything that had happened to you.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 5/11/2023

[auspicious-manner]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write about Billy dunne, there isn't a lot about him. Him and the reader have known each other since they were kids but dont really interact much and Billy is so crazy about her but the reader hasn't ever considered romantic feelings for Billy. He wants to impress her and win her over bad. Basically follows what happens in canon except there is no cheating drama, its just drama between Billy and reader. I don't know how clear this is but thanks i appreciate it!

what's with my djats stories being so long?

sorry this took so long to get out, i started to lose motivation for it after i realized the idea in my head would make this WAY longer than it needed to be. sorry if the end is a little rushed 😭

female reader x billy dunne

warnings: drug use



It Was Always You

•

pittsburgh didn’t have much to offer anyone looking to explore the music scene. there were no big opportunities, and limited ways to get noticed. the six, formerly known as the dunne brothers, needed to move out of pittsburgh to somewhere they could make it. somewhere like california.

and you were the reason they got there.

you lived in the same neighborhood as billy and graham and went to school together, and you were the same age as graham. you and graham were friends, not great ones, but friends nonetheless. despite you being a friend of his brother, billy couldn’t help but keep a watchful eye over you.

even since you were in middle school, billy had some kind of adoration and fascination with you, and you barely knew of his existence. if you were taking a walk through the neighborhood, billy was at his window watching. you always knew it wasn’t in a creepy way, it felt different than that. you couldn’t tell what it was that made him watch you, but you felt flattered more than anything.

when you caught word of graham wanting to start a band with eddie, warren, chuck, and billy, you knew you wanted in. even though music was not your specialty, you could do other things.

during one of the band’s first rehearsals in billy and graham’s garage, you walked over to scope out the band. billy noticed you first, and his eyes widened a bit. graham noticed you shortly after.

“oh, hey Y/N.” graham started.

you smiled and waved. “hey graham,” you said, looking around at the rest of the boys. “and warren, eddie, chuck, and…” you said while giggling, trailing off when you got to billy. he looked at you like he was waiting for something important. “billy, right?”

you thought you saw him sigh of relief, but he covered it well. he smiled at you and reached out his hand. you took it, and noticed he held on for a few extra moments. “yeah, i’m billy dunne, graham’s brother. it’s good to meet you, Y/N.” after he released your hand, you noticed he never broke eye contact.

“what brings you here?” warren asked, taking a sip from his water.

“i actually had a question for you guys,” you said, suddenly getting nervous.

“let’s hear it,” billy told you.

you took a small breath. “i was, uh-i was wondering if you would consider letting me be apart of the band. i’m not musical in any way, so i don’t expect to be in the band, but i’d love to be apart of it some other way.”

the band stared at you, not in a threatening way, but like they were considering it. they couldn’t decide what to make of you.

“what, you want to be our groupie or roadie or somethin’?” eddie asked.

“actually, i was thinking manager.”

the group made surprised expressions. billy stepped forward to you. “why should we let you be our manager?”

“well, for one, i’m very organized. i can keep everything on track and on schedule with the band. i’m also very persuasive, and i could get you guys a lot of gigs for good money. and although i can’t play music, i know a lot about it. i’m also good at photography, and can get some good shots of you guys.”

the band once again considered you. you felt small under their glares, but the harshness was broken by billy’s smile. “you got the time for us?”

you smirked. “always.”

billy bit his lip. “welcome aboard.”

you smiled wide. you couldn’t believe they actually took a blind chance on you. you half expected them to turn you down.

“wait, aren’t we going to talk about this?” eddie asked.

billy annoyedly turned to eddie. “you guys put me in charge, so i call the shots, and i say she’s in." he paused, turning to warren. "warren, count us in,” billy said as warren began counting. billy sent you a wink as they played, and you noticed eddie rolling his eyes.

you grew closer with everyone in the band. graham quickly became your go to guy, and you became best friends. warren was like your annoying brother that you constantly got fed up with but loved regardless. eddie acted like he didn’t like you as the band’s manager, but you were always the first one to call if he needed help with anything. you never really grew close with chuck, but you tolerated him and he tolerated you. your relationship with chuck didn’t matter much, since he left the band early.

billy, however, felt different. you could tell something was off about him. you rarely talked, but it always seemed like billy had something to say to you that he never let out. it always felt like he was hesitating around you, and he wanted to make sure you were watching him during your performances. it was clear to everyone in the band that you had some sort of hold on him.

over the next few years in pittsburgh, you lined up gigs at proms, weddings, and graduation parties for the band. you adored what you did. you got the thrill of watching your friends perform and the crowd cheering without the stress of playing. also, you felt like you were good at what you did. you always knew how to be timely, organized, and respectful, all qualities which made you fit to be their manager. you also used your photography skills to take up close photos and videos of the band performing and practicing, which you would later use to advertise for the band.

after chuck broke the news to the band that he would be leaving, he went back into his house, leaving your disheveled band down a member.

you could tell billy was thinking hard. with his brown furrowed, eyes pointed to the ground, the rest of the band waited for his direction. then, out of nowhere, he grabbed your wrist and took you out of earshot from the boys.

“billy, what’s this about?” you said, keeping your voice low. you knew there was a reason billy pulled you and no one else aside.

“i need your help. i don’t know what to do,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

“why’d you need my help? i mean, you have graham, you own brother. i’m sure he’d know-”

billy looked up into your eyes sharply, and you immediately stopped talking. “i trust your opinion more than anyone else’s, Y/N.”

you nodded. you glanced at the band, who was clearly trying not to watch the sight unfolding in front of them. when you looked at them, they turned away quickly.

“eddie’s gonna hate us, but i think he should switch to bass,” you suggested.

billy slightly smiled. “you think?”

you nodded. “yeah, you just need to stay focused on being a great leader for this band. i wouldn’t want you straining trying to figure out bass while also trying to be a kick ass front man.”

billy blushed and bit his lip to suppress a smile, then patted your shoulder. “you’re too nice to me.”

you both walked back to the band, who was anxiously awaiting the solution to their problem. when billy broke the news, eddie scoffed, bluntly saying, “no, absolutely not."

“which one of you came up with that idea?” eddie continued. it seemed like one wrong move could completely set him off.

billy stepped up. “it was me. i-”

the band was only beginning. you couldn’t let their relationships already fall apart before the band even gets big. you knew billy was trying to take the blame for you, but it wasn’t necessary.

“it was me.”

his eyes softened at you. he seemed almost offended that you gave up his role as rhythm guitarist, but since it was you, he knew he couldn’t blow up at you. you were too beloved by the band.

eddie rolled his eyes. “for how long?”

you and billy looked at each other smiling. “we owe you one, eddie.”

*

not long after eddie switched to bass, you were opening for the winters. as you watched the winters perform on stage, you noticed graham eyeing the blonde keyboardist singing harmonies.

you nudged his side. “make a move.”

graham looked down at you before looking back at her. “i-what do i say?”

you shrugged. “i don’t know, compliment her music or something,” you paused. “make small talk. she’s cute, graham, you can do this.”

you smiled at him before walking away to talk to eddie. however, you felt a pair of eyes burning into your side, and without looking, you could tell billy was the culprit.

after the winters’ set, you caught the keyboardist shortly after she got off stage. you introduced yourself as the manager of the dunne brothers.

karen smiled at you, introducing herself before walking away. before she could, you decided to help graham out a bit.

“graham dunne, the guitarist of our band, really liked your sound.”

she turned around to look at you. “yeah, we’re good at what we do.”

you amusedly grinned. “he didn’t just like the band’s sound, he liked yours. you should go talk to him,” you said before winking and walking away.

not long later, as you were helping the band set up, graham came up behind you. “Y/N, we talked.”

you looked over your shoulder and saw him grinning from ear to ear. you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself, and you turned around. “earlier, i may have… told karen that you liked what she did on stage. i don’t want to take all the credit for your interaction with her, but,” you said, pausing slightly. “i definitely contributed.”

graham’s jaw fell slightly, and he began laughing. before you knew it, he picked you up in his arms and gave you a big hug. you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck as graham thanked you, and your eyes drifted outwards where you saw billy’s eyes staying locked on your hug with his brother.

after their set, you billy caught up to you backstage. “hey, Y/N,” he started. you could tell he sounded a bit nervous.

you turned around to meet him. “billy, what’s up?”

he looked around to make sure the rest of the band wasn’t near. “so, you and graham?” billy asked. he sounded apprehensive, and almost stern. he looked everywhere but at you.

you squinted. “what do you mean?”

billy shook his head. “i saw that hug earlier. and not just that, y-you’ve been with him a lot. which, i don’t really mind, i just want to know. i don’t want the band to be ruined by this.”

you stared back at him, and all you could do was start laughing. he looked at you, a bit dumbfounded. “what’s so funny?”

“you, billy. you’re funny,” you said, walking closer to him. you watched as his cheeks grew red. “there’s nothing going on between graham and i, seriously. he’s like a brother to me, i wouldn’t dream of looking at him romantically. besides, he has another lady in mind.”

billy looked down at you, wanting to believe you. “okay, i get it,” he said with a slight smile.

you lightly placed a hand on his chest. “i wouldn’t dream of ruining this band,” you said before walking away. you couldn’t see the giddy smile creep onto billy’s face.

*

from that point on, billy’s mood around you seemed to lighten. he always had a way of making you notice him. you began to get the vibe that this was all on purpose, that he wanted you to compliment him or give him attention. you wondered if he ever looked at you romantically. sometimes, billy’s odd behavior around you could only be excused if he was interested in you. you couldn’t decide if you were interested in him, but you didn’t want to be involved with a member of the band. things could get too messy.

after meeting rod after the night opening for the winters, the band made the decision to move out to california.

you loved the band, and would do anything for them. but, moving out to los angeles on a whim was risky. you knew they could go the distance, but you were being expected to leave your entire life behind to start a new one. besides, with the new move, they needed you to be an even more present manager than you already were. sure, you could handle managing an up and coming band from pittsburgh. but you felt less than qualified for the job of a big time manager of a growing rock and roll band on the infamous los angeles music scene. someone else could do better and take them farther, and they deserved it.

one day, shortly before they left, you expressed your thoughts to the band. you sat on the floor in billy and graham’s garage as the band stood by their instruments.

“guys, i don’t know if i’m coming with you to california just yet,” you said quietly, looking down at your hands. you could feel the glares of the boys burning into your body.

“what?” graham asked.

you stayed quiet, and heard shuffling footsteps come closer to you. a tear fell from your eye, and you tried your best to hide it. “i-i have to leave my life, my family. which, i can do it, but what’s the point?” you looked up to find the band hovering over you, concerned. “i don’t know the ins and outs of music there like i do here. i’m afraid i won’t be able to take you guys all the way.”

billy stepped closed, and bent down to meet you gaze. you noticed that he still seemed to tower over you, despite him meeting you on the ground.

“Y/N, don’t think for one second that we don’t need you,” billy said. “you’re the only one we can see doing this for us.”

graham bent down next to billy. “you’re like our sister, and you’ve done so much to help us grow. you can keep doing this. we all know you can.”

staying standing, warren nodded at you. “we can’t do this without you. don’t quit on us now.”

even eddie agreed. “you make us better, Y/N.”

billy took your hand in his as another tear escaped your eye. “what do you say?”

you couldn’t leave these guys. even if you were the reason they failed in the future, at least you failed with them. they were your family.

you smiled to yourself. “okay, you’ve convinced me.”

billy smiled, and with the hand that still held onto your fingers, he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a hug. you were taken aback by this change of character, as he very rarely showed affection like this to anyone. you hugged back, leaning your head on his shoulder.

before you knew it, warren wrapped his arms around the side of you, then graham joined the party. finally, eddie did too. for a few moments, you all stayed in that position, with you in the middle of the group hug. that was when you knew this was where you were meant to be.

a few days later, your belongings were packed and loaded as you climbed into the back of the warm, cozy van while the rain poured outside.

“look who it is!” warren exclaimed as you sat down. eddie stood outside packing the luggage onto the top of the van.

billy smiled widely at you. “i’m glad you’re coming.”

you blushed at his sincerity against your will. “me too.”

the road to california was long, but the building excitement in that van was infectious. everyone knew something big was coming.

upon arriving in los angeles, the band contacted rod reyes and built their first connection in the music world. with rod’s help, he gave you the number to contact filthy mcnasty’s on the strip and gave you another piece of information; karen’s phone number.

“graham, i have a surprise for you,” you said excitedly, dragging out the “you”.

“what?” he asked, confused.

you smiled. “i got karen’s number.”

*

not long later, you moved into a shabby house with the band in laurel canyon, and recruited karen sirko to be the new keyboardist for the dunne brothers. along with the new edition came a new venue to play in on the strip.

there, you saw billy really begin to fall in love with his music and performing. the way he interacted with the audience, and with you, was electrifying. you found yourself getting flustered if he sang to you while onstage, and you questioned why you felt so strongly. you didn’t have feelings for him, at least you thought. the butterflies in your stomach as he looked at you while singing on stage were trying to tell you something different.

one day, after billy came home with the legendary teddy price’s business card, you had sealed a deal to play for him, and the energy was beyond exciting. they played for him as you watched, and you kept getting those butterflies in your stomach as billy performed. they were getting harder and harder to ignore.

after teddy named the audition a success, the pure joy in the van afterwards was infectious. as the band drove away, you and the band were giddily laughing and hugging like children. billy was the first one you hugged.

you wrapped your arms around his neck first, and you could feel him get caught off guard for a moment, but he soon reciprocated. your heart felt like it was going to pop out of your chest.

“i’m so proud of you!” you said to billy as he squeezed you tighter. you pulled away from each other, faces red and smiling. your arms lingered on each other, not fully pulling away.

“we couldn’t have done it without you, Y/N,” billy said over the commotion.

one night, after a gig at filthy’s months later, the band finished playing and walked out onto the strip. you saw billy and teddy talking, and when you walked over to them, you heard the words you’ve been waiting to hear forever.

“if the label agrees, we’ll get you in the recording studio.”

billy stepped back, shocked. he looked at you, then back at teddy. “shut up.”

teddy shrugged. “it wasn’t all me. Y/N has been on my case about this deal for a while now. if it weren’t for her, this might not be happening.” that was true, the past few months was a pain trying to get teddy to budge on a deal.

billy looked at you. he had the widest smile you had ever seen, and in that moment, you thought you’d never seen anyone more handsome. he wrapped you in a hug, picking you up from the ground and spinning you as you giggled. you didn’t even care that he was drenched in sweat.

he put you down and tried to go hug teddy. he turned to the band, who was confused at the commotion. “guys, we’ve got an album!”

the boys jumped up, running to you and teddy, enveloping you both in a sea of hugs. teddy wasn’t as fond of hugs as you were, but you welcomed them sweat and all with open arms.

*

billy had always considered you vital in the band, but during the first album sessions, you were involved more than ever before in creative decisions. billy was running the show, but he trusted your opinion just as much, if not more, than teddy’s. given that billy wanted you involved in the music just as anyone else, it made your interactions much more intimate. you found yourself spending a lot of alone time with billy.

one night at the house after a long day in the studio, you and billy sat outside and drank some beers. your chairs were facing in, and it took some effort to not longingly stare at him.

“how do you like it so far? i mean, the album?” billy asked you nervously, looking down.

you smiled to yourself and bit your lip. “you’ve been wanting my approval more and more recently. what’s that about?” you asked, leaning back in your chair. “you’ve always been looking for my validation, but i never thought much about it until now.”

billy took a deep breath in. he looked like he was contemplating something, and he took a sip of his beer before looking at you again. “do i really have to say it?”

you furrowed your eyebrows slightly. prompting billy to start, he closed his eyes before talking again. “Y/N, i think i may be in love with you.”

your heart seemed to fall into your chest. you’ve had suspicions for a long time now, but you had always assumed you were looking too far into it. you thought that was just his personality. until recently, you had never even considered him romantically. it wasn’t until he really starting honing in on his craft that you saw a side of him that you could potentially like.

“billy dunne in love with me?” you asked playfully. you couldn’t believe it.

“i know you don’t feel the same, and i’ve accepted that. maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but i’ve been pining over you for as long as i can remember. i value your opinion because your ideas and thoughts are the only ones that truly matter to me.”

the heart beat in your chest sped up. you felt your face grow red and you hoped billy couldn’t see how absolutely flustered you were. you took a sip of your beer.

billy then waved his hand like he was brushing his thoughts away. “forget it, this was all stupid. i shouldn’t have said that, i’m sorry.”

your eyes softened as billy looked away, embarrassed. you scooted forward, gently placing a hand on his knee. “billy,” you started. he reluctantly turned to face you. “i want to explore where this could go.”

he smiled at you, a wide and endearing smile that made you immediately grin back. “i’ve waited a long time to hear that.”

after that night, it didn’t take long for you and billy to become inseparable. the band eventually caught on to what was going on, no one had to explain your feelings to anyone; everyone seemed to know. the often caught you making out in secret in random places in the studio.

after recording the album, it was time to go on tour. you and billy started dating after the first show on tour, and you were truly happy for the time being.

however, a lot of that initial glee faded as the tour continued, as the band was heavily using drugs and alcohol to escape the pressures of the tour. billy seemed to take it especially hard. most nights, he would do a line of coke right on stage and finish the show by washing everything down with alcohol.

“billy, don’t you think you should… slow down a little?” you asked gently once you were back in your hotel room. billy was opening another bag of coke.

he looked at you. “this is rock and roll, Y/N.”

you sighed. you were worried for him, everyone was. “you’re not yourself, billy. this isn’t the billy that i know,” you said, your tone getting harsher. when he looked away back to his bag of coke, you walked over to him.

“look at me,” you said, standing in front of him between him and the coke. he obliged, and blankly stared back at you.

it hurt you to see him like this. he was falling apart at the seams. “don’t fucking blame this on rock and roll. you’re addicted, billy. you have a problem. you better clean up your goddamn act soon or i-” you stopped, your voice cracking. tears were forming in your eyes. “or i can’t be with you any longer.”

billy blinked, almost unfazed. after a few moments, he nodded.

you looked up at him and shook your head. “clean yourself up.”

after that night, billy tried to cut back, but he always found his way back to the drugs and the alcohol. for a while, it was okay. he only did a line before a show and kept his alcohol for after the show. you still didn’t like his heavy consumption, but at least he was making an effort for you and your relationship.

then, just as it was getting better, it got worse again. he was fully addicted now, and was stumbling all over the stage. he couldn’t hold notes in the songs, and the band looked between themselves, confused.

“Y/N, what are we going to do with him? karen asked after a show, leaning into your ear as you watched billy open a bottle of vodka. you stared as tears fell down your face.

“there’s only one thing to do.”

you forced billy into your car, giving the band members hugs before you drove off.

“w-where are we going?” billy asked, dazed.

a tear drop fell on your leg as you drove, and billy’s eyebrows furrowed.

“you know where,” you whispered.

“Y/N, i’m sorry.”

“i know you are," you replied numbly.

you heard billy sniffle, like he was also crying. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. “i can’t live without you. you’re all i ever wanted, and now i’ve thrown it all away.”

you bit your lip as you suppressed your tears. “i know.”

you pulled up to the rehabilitation center, and got out of the car with billy. you stood in front of him, close to him. he looked down at you with melancholy, and you looked up at him.

“take care of yourself, okay?”

he nodded. “i-i’m sorry, Y/N.”

you nodded as the tears fell harder. you were leaving behind one of the greatest things that has ever happened to you.

you turned away before you could hesitate and headed back to your car as you watched billy enter the front doors of the center. when he was out of sight, you broke down, releasing the sobs that were hiding in your body.

*

the rest of the tour was cancelled, and back at laurel canyon, the band wasn’t sure where their future stood. not having billy around had left a hole in the group, and you fell into a pit of depression not having him around. the band tried their best to cheer you up. whether it be graham offering to play games with you, or warren buying you useless knickknacks, or even just crying on karen’s shoulder, you appreciated their efforts but you couldn’t seem to get billy off your mind.

when you got the call two months later that billy was coming home, you felt excited and scared all at the same time. you were looking forward to having him back, you needed him. but confronting everything that had happened seemed too overwhelming.

graham brought him back to the house, and he got out of the car to greet the band. warren showed him his mustache he had been growing, and eddie showed billy his bass he had built. karen squeezed your hand before going up to billy and hugging him.

you stood behind the rest of them, afraid to make an appearance. billy was trying to look for you, and when warren noticed, he stepped away so you were visible to billy.

you could tell billy was feeling the same as you were. you watched as guilt flashed across his face, then nervousness, then eventually, relief.

you stepped forward at the same time, and he wrapped you in an endearing hug. it felt nice to be in his arms again.

“i’m never letting you go again,” billy said into your hair. “i’m staying clean for you.”

you pulled away so you could look at him, your arms still loosely around each other. “you get one more chance, dunne. one more slip up and whatever this is is over.”

after settling into normalcy again, you felt like you were getting to know billy all over again. you were rediscovering why you began to like him in the first place. you missed him.

not long later, you watched as graham angrily stormed out of the room with billy in it. you frowned and peered into the doorframe, finding billy with his head down.

“what’s wrong?” you asked, sitting down next to him. you placed a hand on his thigh, and he stared at it.

“i’m quitting the band, Y/N,” he said quietly.

your jaw fell slightly. “what?”

billy scooted away from you. you could tell he was emotional right now, and was pushing you away not because he didn’t want you there, but because he didn’t know what else to do.

“i love music, but i can’t keep doing this. there’s too much temptation, and i can’t go through that again. i can’t lose you again.”

you softened. billy was willing to do anything for you, but this was one act of selflessness that you couldn’t let him get away with.

“billy,” you started. “you’re the strongest person i know. i trust you. i’m not going to let you quit on this band because of me, you’re just getting started. please, at least think about staying. i won’t be able to do this without you.”

he continued looking down. he paused, and you could tell his hard exterior was crumbling around you. “i’ll think about it.”

and he did. only a few days later, he came to the band with a new song in a new direction that he was ready to get recorded. it was a beautiful song that he called honeycomb, and when he first played it for you, you had some thoughts.

“it’s good,” you said, nodding your head as you sat down on the couch next to billy.

“but…” billy asked, sensing your hesitation.

“it’s missing something.”

billy squinted, a devious smirk forming on his face. “like what exactly?”

“i don’t know, it just sounds too… hopeful, maybe?” you said.

billy looked at you with genuine confusion. “what’s wrong with having hope?”

“nothing, nothing at all, it’s just-” you paused. “no one wants to hear a song about hope. people like to hear things that are messy, and dark, and imperfect.”

billy rolled his eyes and kissed your cheek. “Y/N, you know i love your opinions, but i think you’re wrong about that one.”

you giggled. “i can guarantee teddy will tell you the same thing when you get it recorded.”

“is that a bet?”

you smiled. “hell yes it is.”

then you shook on it, and as it was, you ended up being right. in the studio, teddy told billy it was a good song, not a great one, and you and teddy had a new artist come in to sing vocals on the track named daisy jones.

billy was less than welcoming at daisy’s arrival, and they clashed over everything. billy wasn’t informed that daisy had changed his lyrics, and he stormed out of the studio, taking you with him by the wrist.

“billy, what the hell?” you said as you stumbled behind him, finally coming to a stop when you were outside.

“i can’t fucking believe this, Y/N, you and teddy are ruining my song by adding daisy. it’s not supposed to be a duet, and it’s suppose to be about hope,” billy said harshly.

“daisy adds more layers to that song whether you like it or not. she makes it better, and it gives the song a story.”

“no, she’s not. i wrote a beautiful song, and it’s being taken over.”

billy was frowning, and you stepped forward so you were right under him. at this point, you were frustrated too.

“stop being so fucking stubborn, billy. your ego is getting in the way for the success of this song. we’ll record it daisy’s way, and then we’ll record it your way, okay? we can decide which one sounds better later.”

billy paused, and looked down at you. you could see his harsh eyes soften a bit, and then he nodded his head.

you never did record it his way.

with look at us now came a rush in popularity and invitations to perform at festivals. at the diamond head festival, you saw for yourself the magic on stage that was billy and daisy together. daisy wasn’t a want, she was a need. that is, until billy made a particularly snide remark about daisy to the news following their performance.

“billy, are you crazy?” you asked when you had a private moment after the interview.

billy seemed confused. “what are you talking about?”

“billy!” you exclaimed. “you could have been a little nicer to daisy in that interview.”

billy looked at you, shocked. “i was! i couldn’t have been nicer! seriously Y/N, what’s the big-”

“the big deal is that daisy makes you better. she makes all of you better. you didn’t even give her any credit for the song.”

billy stepped closer to you. “it was my song.”

“daisy wrote the part that everyone remembers.”

billy paused. “she will ruin us.”

you shrugged. “you’ll never know until you try.”

for a while after that festival, things went back to normal, but you knew your work with daisy wasn’t done. you and billy were throwing a house party, and you invited daisy to try and work out the bad blood between the two. getting them to work together was not an easy task, but by the end of the night, they found common ground. it didn’t take long for daisy to be formally invited into the band.

you noticed daisy and billy continued to be unwilling to work together, despite all your efforts. finally, teddy sent billy and daisy away to write material together, and the pair didn't come back until the night time.

as the band recorded let me down easy, you could tell something special was building. as billy sang into the microphone, you hoped he would catch your eye so you could give him a proud smile, but his eyes stayed locked on daisy. you didn't think much of it at this point.

billy and daisy found their groove, and the two would walk into the studio after a day of writing laughing and giggling like children. you remembered when billy would do that with you. now, it seemed like a distant memory.

"karen, can i ask you something?" you asked karen once when you were the only two in the lobby of the studio.

"anything," she replied, putting out her cigarette.

"do you think something is off will billy? like, with me?" you asked sheepishly.

karen frowned. "what do you mean?"

you looked down. "he hasn't been the same since daisy has been in the picture. i rarely see him anymore, and when i do, he's not all there," you said. "and i felt so involved in the last album. i was involved in all of billy's decisions, and now it's daisy. should i be worried about..." you trailed off. "you know?"

karen looked at you, her eyes softening at your worried expression. "i know what you mean. billy's a great guy, Y/N, and i think you can trust him. if you're worried, i would talk to him sooner rather than later."

you nodded. "i'll see if it gets any worse, and if it does, i'll talk to him."

you hated that things were getting worse between the two of them. you could tell he was hiding something, and a part of you always knew that those two had some type of connection. they had to, for the sake of the music.

you tried to trust them and let him run off with daisy, knowing that they made each other better. but you knew he wasn't telling you something.

you didn't realize how far along their connection was until daisy and billy stormed out of the studio while recording more fun to miss.

you followed them out, a few paces behind them, to make sure everything was okay. as soon as you stepped out onto the pavement, you watched as daisy yelled something at billy, close to his face. then, you watched as billy pulled daisy closer, leaving a kiss on her lips.

you gasped, and the two immediately broke and turned to look at you. billy went as pale as a ghost, and you stood horrified.

"Y/N, this isn't-" billy started, walking closer to you.

you put up a hand, stopping him in his tracks. "don't."

billy paused. "daisy, can we get some privacy?" he asked sternly before daisy hurriedly made her way inside.

"can i explain?" billy asked quietly.

a tear ran down your face. "what is there to explain? i know what i just saw."

billy nodded understandingly. "i know, i know what this looks like, and i'm sorry. but truthfully, there's absolutely nothing going on between us."

you laughed. "you call that nothing?" you asked, raising your voice. "you kissed her, billy! and god knows what else you've been doing behind my back all this time. there's a reason you came out here to do this, so i wouldn't find out."

billy put his hands on your shoulders. "there's nothing of substance between us. this is all an act, we're building our connection so fans can see it and believe it onstage. that's what the fans want. please believe me, there's nothing between us. there never was, and there never will be."

you shook your head, tears streaming down your face harder. "and you expect me to believe that?" you asked quietly, walking away into the studio.

you had locked yourself in a storage closet for some privacy, and you could tell the band, minus billy and daisy, was looking for you around the studio. you sat on the floor crying, thinking about all the times billy left you to be with her.

you felt so stupid for letting this happen. you should have known something was off. you couldn't believe what billy did, but you couldn't believe that you fell for him the way you did. this should have been expected.

suddenly, you heard a faint voice from outside the door, down the hallway. "daisy, we need to talk."

footsteps. "don't tell me what i think you're going to tell me," she replied.

"we were a mistake. we never had anything, and we never will."

a pause. "you're a big fucking liar, you know that?" daisy asked him.

"Y/N is the one i love. she's the one i will choose every time."

"so that kiss just now meant nothing?" daisy asked, getting angrier. "you did that just so i'd sing like that on the album?"

"i did what i had to do," billy said, matching her tone. "this is all an act, for the music. we had to build chemistry so the fans will believe it. none of this is real." there was a pause before billy spoke again. "i refuse to lose Y/N. not again."

there was another long pause, before a loud "fuck you" and the sound of daisy's heels walking out of the studio doors.

your heart was beating fast after hearing that exchange. you wanted to trust the man that you had grown to love again.

you quietly unlocked the door, stepping out and finding billy down the hall. he looked at you and his harsh features softened when he saw your tear stained face. "hey, i've been looking all over for you," he said sweetly.

you stood in front of him, and he put his hands on the sides of your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

"i'm so sorry, Y/N. for all of this. temptation got the best of me, and i lost sight of what i wanted and needed. you're it for me, and you always have been. even before you knew i existed, i knew i wanted you and no one else."

you rested your forehead on his, briefly staying quiet. "never do anything like this ever again, okay asshole?"

billy smiled. "you have my word."

you kissed him, and it made you forget everything that had just happened. you could tell that he truly meant what he said to you through a single, meaningful kiss.

he made all of your worries dissipate in an instant.

[vaultedoverthehorse]

CherryCola fic inspired by @damthosefandoms ‘s post!!! this is my first time ever writing a fic, so any advice is appreciated!!

Cherry Valance was sitting and watching the sunset from the perch by her window. Her gaze lingered on the way the leaves seemed to look gold as the beams of light hit them. Ponyboy Curtis would have loved this if he was here. In her opinion, this was the best spot to see the sunset in the entirety of Tulsa.

She liked to sit up here and think. She usually does so when she’s overwhelmed, but recently this has been her only solace. With the war overseas, she feels as if all the peace in her life has been uprooted. Boys from her city were being sent over there to…she doesn’t like to think about it. She’s seen the families morning lost brothers and sons. It makes her feel sick.

A soft tap at her door snapped her out of her thoughts. Cherry turned as the door opened, revealing her mother. There was a package in her hands.

“Darling, someone sent this to you. Someone named Sodapop..?” Her mother said, her voice light and cautious, yet slightly judgmental.

Cherry felt her breath catch as she heard his name. Why was he writing to her? She remembered briefly overhearing that he was drafted, but she never expected him to send her of all people a package. Why wouldn’t this go to his brothers? Her heart started racing uncontrollably. That was a feeling she hasn’t felt since her sophomore year of high school.

“Sherry, do you know him?” Her mother asks. There’s a slight tone of distaste in her voice - which makes sense for her, as she disliked the idea of her daughter being with a greaser.

“Oh, sort of. I mean, he was a classmate.” Cherry brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I never really talked to him much.” She dreaded the way her mother spoke, and the way she looked at her. The disapproval was evident.

Her mother looked at her with a suspicious glint in her eyes. “Alright, well…I’ll just leave this here.” Her mother placed the small box on Cherry’s dresser and sent her daughter another look before leaving. Cherry understood why she wouldn’t believe her - she hardly believed it herself. Why would he want to send her something?

She just sat for a moment. She wasn’t upset like she should be - why is a greaser writing to a soc girl? - instead, she felt more confused and…longing, almost. Finally she gathered the courage to stand up.

She carefully crossed the room and took the package into her hands. It was slightly heavier than she expected. What could be in here? She sat on her bed, keeping it on her lap for a long moment. She just stared at it, a million thoughts racing through her brain. Almost too many to decipher.

Finally, with the dying light cascading through her window, she opened the box. Inside was a folded piece of paper and a small Bible. The sunlight caused the gilded pages of the book to shine. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she questioned again why she wouldn’t believe be sent this. She pulled out the piece of paper, carefully unfolding it. She scanned the words quickly, taking in the shaky handwriting - which made her smile, as she recognized it immediately as his - before she started to read.

Cherry,

Hey, how ya been?. I bet youre shocked. Im shocked too. I said id never write to someone again, at least till I knew I was heading home. But I saw something out here that reminded me of you. I put it in the Bible to keep it safe so you could see it. It really kept me going out here when it was really bad. I get why ya dont like fights now. Theres no point to all this. It’s just pain and hurt for no reason. Back in Tulsa things were simpler and fights didnt mean much. Now its just plain bad. I miss being a kid. I miss first grade before all this mattered because I knew you. I miss you Cherry. Ive missed you for a while, not just while Im here. I miss you helping me with school and me drawing you horses. I just wanted that again. I found myself looking for traces of you everywhere. Even in Tulsa girls. Theres a nurse here who reminds me of you. Shes the nicest one.

Dont tell my brothers or anyone I wrote to you. I havent been able to send them anything for a while because I dont wanna give them hope. I love them too much for that, ya know? And I wouldnt put you through this either but you get it. You know it dont mean im okay. I just wanted you know how much youve helped me since i met ya. I dont know you well these days but you mean a lot to me. I hope if I come back I can see you again.

Sodapop Curtis

Cherry felt a lump in her throat as she held the letter in her hands. Soda…he may not know how to write correctly, but he sure did know how to express what he wanted to. She reread the letter, wiping her eyes while she did so. The paper felt comforting in her hands. Like she was holding a piece of him.

Gently folding the letter back up, she placed to the side so she could grab the small Bible. Holding it carefully, as if it were a baby, she flipped through until she saw what he sent her. Between its pages was a small, pressed cherry blossom.

Seeing that, she couldn’t help it any longer. She sobbed into her hands, mourning a boy who wasn’t even dead yet. She remembered their childhood. He was the first boy she’s ever liked. Even when she was dating other boys, she left a space in her heart for him. Now he’s so far away, he’s scared, and he’s alone. Cherry just wants to bring him home, but she can’t. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t reach across the sea and carry him back to his brothers. To her. She feels helpless. She ran her hands along the page of the Bible, scared to touch the flower in fear of hurting it.

Cherry wishes she would have told him how she felt. Told him that she’d have run away with him had he asked, that he’s not crazy, that he used to brighten her day. Her parents would disown her, but she doesn’t care anymore. She could’ve told him that day in the lot before the rumble, but she talked herself out of it. And now it may be too late. Why could’ve she have just been brave?

Drying her eyes with her sleeve, Cherry gathered up the gifts from Soda and walked over to her dresser. She pushed through the socks in one of her draws until she could see the bottom. She placed the Bible and the letter right next to a small drawing of a horse that she’s had since she was six. Nobody else knows who it’s from. Her friends assume it’s something Bob gifted her when they were younger, and she hasn’t corrected them.

Cherry closed the draw after making sure the items were hidden. She sent one last look out her window, catching the final moments of the sunset. That’s when she made up her mind. She’d write him tomorrow. If he could send her a present in the midst of him fighting a war, she could send him something from her peaceful little home in Oklahoma. She could remind him of home.

[writersblockworks]

Shit I did/said as a kid/teen as the Valorant agents (I’ve never had a concussion or broken bones)

Hey guys its close to finals week when im writing this i have no idea when ill post it, but enjoy!!

Brimstone: Took charge of a group project but ended up doing the whole thing myself. (15)

Viper: Willingly grabbed a wild snake to show my mom when I was 3, but cried when they wanted me to hold a tarantula (3 then 6)

Omen: For some reason me and my friends use to play that we lost our memory, we really just used it as an excuse to be mean. (I was 9)

Cypher: Spent hours on an app that let me see city cameras in china or something (9 maybe? I'm not sure)

Sova: The first time i went fishing with my grandfather (RIP grandpa) I was so proud, then i dropped it on the ground and it flopped into the water. (i was 5)

Sage: My friends and i would hop the fence at our elementry school to go pick wildflowers, we had to stop because we got ticks (9 or 10)

Pheonix: My best friend at the time asked me what I would do if my future boyfriend gives me a knuckle sandwaich and I replied that I would eat it. I still would (my now boyfriend would never raise a hand against me) (i was 5)

Jett: A boy was showing off how fast he could run, so i tripped him (i was 8)

Raze: I spraypainted the sidewalk beside my house because i wanted to make art (I wanted to use the spray cans) then i got scolded. (I was 7)

Breech: I am autistic and someone said oh she cant shes autistic, so I bit them i dont know how old i was nor do i remember what they said.

Reyna: I would play the wack a mole game at the arcade so I could use the hammer to hit my best friend, she did the same to me (8?)

KillJoy: When i played Valorant for the first time my online friend made me play KJ because i was german (17)

Skye: While i was going my usual tree climbing, i saw a spider. I decided to fall to the ground, I got up just fine, then climbed a diffrent tree where i found a bee hive. (idk 11? maybe) Yoru: When I fIrst got glasses and I could actually see, I looked at my nana and asked her what happened to her face, then I threw up (I was 4)

Astra: I love the stars so much, I used to think we all became stars when we died because the movie princess and the frog, and I cried when the cathloic church said we didnt (I was 6)

KAY/O: In MMA class we had to do an excersize where the others would have to stop us from making it to the other side. Most of the kids dog piled on me, a 150 pound boy got on my back, yet I still made it across the room (idk I was 11 and weak, but for a treat after, I was strong) Chamber: My friend taught us pole dancing at recess and for some reason the teachers never stopped us. (we were in 5th grade about 10?)

Neon: I watched my younger brother slide into the Oven door. My parents for some reason put it in the living room. I tried to help him by saying it was the dog. However Our dog was living with my grandparents. (7?)

Fade: Spent a whole hour meowning at a random cat in France (I was 12, and where were my parents?) Harbor: I am a huge history nerd, I did three book reports on the titanic, Then when we had to be characters for a fake museum where we would have to preform for epople I decided to be the drunk man that survived (I was 10, why didnt a teacher tell me no?)

Gekko: I had one of the electronic Furbies, i still have that yellow shit. Me and my brother were playing with him and he turned evil and we got so scared. For a month we made our mom put him under a flowerpot with 2 bibles on top of it. (I actually dont know how old I was)

Deadlock: My grandma gave me a sewing kit for one of my birthdays so I just threw it at people (6)

Iso: Collected little rocks at recess then put them in the shoes of kids I didnt like (6)

Clove: Jumped off the top of the playground because I wanted to impress my crush, then I hit my head on the slide pole. Surprisingly I ended up being just fine.

Vyse: ummm I had a Wiggle (if anyone remembers those) and I would constantly bully it. I actualy dont know how old I was but I was a kid

Honorable mention: I farted in church when i was 4 and blamed it on Jesus and apparently you’re not supposed to do that. Also this is a rough memory and stir from the top of my head, I have childhood trauma

Anyways i finally got therapy. Byeeee working on a request rn

[stitchwraith-stingers]

Saw you're family tree post and i love how fleshed how they are! Though i saw you say that that Angela had her own godparent, could you perhaps elaborate on that?

HIIII IM SO GLAD U ASKED... this is one of my fave hcs and im happy i could talk abt it

when she was younger, angela was not in a good headspace mentally, she was extremely depressed to put it lightly, she was also really anxious and when she was 10 she recieved cirrus swiftsky as a godparent, the best i could describe him was like a grandfather to her and looked sort-of fancy, he had a mustache and everything, this wasnt his first rodeo with a kid, hes been doing this for a good few fairy years

angela, altough she used escapism often by reading kids books, she wasnt very "imaginitive" as she describes herself, so her wishes werent anything extreme, and if anything just mostly talked to cirrus about things that were bothering to her, and he wasnt expecting to become a defacto therapist to this kid, he gave her life advice he vaugely remembered while studying to be a godparent (they take mandatory childrens psychology lessons) and gestured her over to try journaling for her thoughts

he often disguised himself as a orange butterfly when outdoors with her (to school, to the park etc), and at home would usually be their pet ferret, who was called tom by her parents

they lasted longer then the usual godparent-godkid duo, 2 years infact, however she was expected to leave him when she was 14 as she was still concidered not yet fully happy, she had accidently blurted it out when her brother walked in on her and she panicked, thus wiping their memories

godparents, if taken away before their kid has been properly reverted to being happy, arent allowed to visit them again, and godkids wont be given another one unless they are in desperate need of them, like if something else drastic happened, even if they are still miserable, this is a big countroversy in the godparenting industry (which i could go on about tbh)

angela, who used cirrus as an anchor, was EXTREMELY distraught, and if anything made her feel worse by the fact she couldnt remember why (codependancy problems, where have i heard that before!) and after afew weeks of refusing to leave her room she decided to go to the library as a way to slowly start getting back to it and she had picked up a psychology book, and thats where she started her psychology interest, along with vaugely remembering her doing jounraling, so she continued and it spiraled into how she is today

though she had picked up psychology books for older people, so she convinced herself she was more "mature" for her age, and even today she hasnt gotten the hang of how 10 year olds should actually work ("lets leave her untill shes ready to come to us" go talk to ur daughter?)

her parents - heather and felix campbell - werent horrible at all, just in the dark about what her kid was doing since she didnt like to share anything she liked with them at all, if anything they were slightly more "loose" if that makes sense, but because she was just anxious she worried that theyd get mad which they often didnt, if that makes sense

she never really had any friends in her life, as she decided she'd focus on that after shes done with her studies, she wasnt really a social outcast, if anything a little socially awkward, shes only had 1 friend during high school and her social life kicked off more in collage, everyone had respected her but she was more of a "i wont talk unless you talk" type of deal, on top of her grades because it gave her something to do in her free time (and she just enjoyed writing essays in general), and she had gotten much much better where she was now! only problem was that she was still anxious about presenting projects

when she was with postpartum depression after hazel was born she couldnt help but feel like she was missing a puzzle piece, yknow how it feels when you know youve forgotten something, but you dont know what? thats how she felt, thankfully she had gotten treatment quickly

hazel does get her more anxious side from her, angela is a good parent and has taught her children to communicate with eachother unlike how she did with hiding it, though she (unknowingly) struggles with properly understanding her 10 year old and being so focused on her work she cant sit down and 'think outside the box' as shes said

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 5

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him

notes - NOT PROOF READ, lowercase intention smut near the end, aftercare cus thats what matt specializes in, cuddles

a/n - uhm idk if yalls could tell, or if u knew but i’m a virgin and have never kissed anyone so 🫣

leave some suggestions for chris or matt fics for me to write pls as well :3

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present day a few days after their second study session

y/n pov

matt s 🐼

hey message me when ur leaving ur house. 8:46

btw we r ordering food to the house cus i dont wanna get gas. 8:47

text me what u want from CFA. 8:47

you

what in the flying fuck is CFA? 8:49

matt s 🐼

uhm hello? kid, how do u not know what CFA is???? 8:49

you

abbreviations like this is what's wrong with our generation… 8:50

matt s 🐼

kay ur so weird omfg. 5:50

CFA clearly means chick-fil-a smartass 🙄. 8:51

you

oh well then 😋. nuggets and waffle fries please 🛐🛐. 8:52

and sunjoy btww. 8:52

matt s 🐼

ew u like sunjoy? 8:53

you

u like rootbear don’t talk to me ✋. 8:52

and let me in pls im already outside :). 8:52

read at 8:52

i sling my bag over my shoulder and leave my car, waiting outside the large house with thrilling anticipation as i wait for matt to open the door. I see the fluff of his brown locks and a sweater similar to the one i’ve seen him wear before at school. i dont know why i get giddy when i see him, i dont know how we went to only speaking when madi was around too greeting each other whenever we see each other in the halls or cafe or even in our shared classes.

matt and his brothers were some of my closest friends now, after madi introduced me to them at a party, both of us got insanely drunk and made me call off crazy drinking ever since. all i remember from that night was the way matt took care of me while i was in a very vulnerable state and didn’t take advantage of me. i haven’t told anyone but madi about what happened to me when i was younger, and i’m glad she’s still taken her promise to heart, the only thing that telling her about my past shit did was make her and i closer.

i see matt in full view after he opens the door, “hey!” i say with a cheery expression despite how late it was for me.

“heyyy, thanks for coming by the way, even though you had a shift earlier.” he says sheepishly, before i left for work he messaged me begging to have another study session because he had more questions about the essay part of the exam. “oh hey lemme put your stuff in my room, just chill on the couch before the food gets here.” i pass him my backpack and laptop as he begins to walk down a hallway to make it to his room.

i move through the small entryway and become more apparent in his brothers view, “heyy y/n” nick says moving up to me for a hug, i take in his embrace.

“hi nick!!” i say excitedly. other than matt, ive hung out with nick a lot too, madi always has him over at her apartment, and even the three of us have made it a plan to meet up at our favourite bakery and talk for however long we want too a couple times a week. out of the little over a month i’ve know the triplets, nick has made a huge impact on me, and i felt safe around him, as well as chris and matt.

he lets go of me while i walk over to a slumped over chris on the couch, when he realised i was here he sits up on the edge of the couch. “sup chris,” i dap him up doing a little bro half hug with him.

“always nice to see you y/n,” he says as our arms unfold from the middle of us. i take a seat next to him with a comfortable amount of distance between us. matt returns not too long after i greet everyone. He sits down between chris and i and nick returns from the kitchen with a pepsi, root beer, bottled water and a lemonade, passing out everyone's drink knowing what each of us would ask for. matt and i give nick a thank you as he nods his head after.

nick stationed himself on the elongated part of the couch settling in with his fluffy blanket, he puts on a stranger thing episode and we all sit watching the tv. it only takes another five minutes of the episode for the doorbell to ring through the house. nick gets up immediately scurrying to the door with his fluffy blanket wrapped around him as he talks to the delivery man, thanking him and making small steps to see the rest of us. he comes back with two large bags of food planting them on the coffee table in front of all of us, before grabbing a tray of drinks after going back to the entrance.

“thank you for paying matty,” chris says, rubbing up again his brother with his lips pursed and now shoulder to shoulder with his older brother. i giggle at the sight, copying chris.

“mmmmh thanks mattyyyy” i say resting my head on the peak of his shoulder, pursing my lips as well and copying chris’ weird voice.

“you’re a fucking weirdo chris,” matt says in a disgusted voice flicking the other head that was very close to his face. “and you're welcome y/n.”

i laugh at chris’ overly dramatic reaction to what matt did to him. still giggling a bit at the sight of matt completely ignoring his brothers reaction, I say “just tell me how much i own you.”

“eh, don’t worry about it, it’s on me, plus save up for that new laptop you were talking about. i know how much you want it,” i blush slightly.

“aww thank you then,” i wrap my arms around him and squeeze him, he hands me the food that i asked for and retract back onto the couch.

“by the way, what time are we planning to stay up till? i told madi that i’ll tell her when i was heading home.” i saw looking at matt.

“well its kinda late so if you wanna stay in the guest room, im fine with that.” matt says, moving his head towards me, then breaking eye contact with the tv screen.

“im ay okay with that if you wanna stay over! plus you know your way around the house,” nick says giving his approval to matts idea of staying over.

“mhm im chill with it,” chris simply says.

“uhh yeah then, i'm down, thanks!”

we eat then say goodnight to nick and chris before we go to matt's room for some studying.

i lay down onto his bed as he walks over to his bathroom to change into some comfier clothes. while hes in there i start to think about our first study session when i found out matt had a crush on me. i thought it was very cute, but it made matt awkward on our last study night. i’m glad that he's eased up now, i just acted like i didn’t know anything and didn’t want to push on how he was feeling because I knew it would make his anxiety worse.

i come back to my senses seeing matt reappear from the bathroom door. we stayed on track for studying for an hour and a half before we eventually put on brooklyn 99 on in the background and talked.

“so, the retake is in a couple days, you think you’re ready?” i was hopeful he would be good by then because tonight felt very productive. I quizzed him on a couple of important ideas while he was playing with a baseball, throwing it up and down in the air. i learnt that he understands stuff better when he is doing something with his hands, it keeps him focused.

“hm, i’m not too sure, maybe another study sesh the day after tomorrow so by friday i’ll have all the stuff we went over fresh in my mind.” the baseball still gets thrown up and falls down in front of his face, with his hand waiting to catch it before it smacks him right on his nose. “thanks again for this,” i hear him catch it one more time before he moves his hand away from his face and looks at me just to the right of him. i'm hovering over him slightly, his eyes glow the brightest in the slight illumination from the lamp we always use when we study.

“yeah of course matt, you're my friend anyways.” our faces mirror each other, his eyes roam my faces while his hand holds the side of my face.

i toss my hair to the side of my head to lean down to kiss matt, he immediately returns the kiss enveloping my bottom lip with his. i moan into his mouth feeling him push me down and dominate me. one of his hands rests on my hip keeping me down as i pull him down with my legs letting him top me. most of his body is pressed down to mine, i lift my hips to give myself some kind of sensation i desperately crave for.

“fuck, i’m sorry are you okay with this?” matt says when he disconnects us.

i cup his chin bringing him a little closer, “i really fucking like you matt, please don’t stop.”

a smirk grows onto his face, “i really fucking like you too, you’re lucky i do.” he becomes more unserious pecking little kisses amoungst my face making a very loud “mwah” sound with each of he presses into my skin.

“matttt” i say through my sour looking face while he shows his affection.

“okay, okay, i’m done. but uh, how about we kiss again, didn’t get a good feel of it the first time.” he says with a knowing smirk on his face. i use my hand to weave through his brunette hair pulling him towards me again, we share a more passionate kiss, with knowing and love rather than lust.

it doesn’t take us long till things got more serious, his lips attach to my neck instantly sucking multiple hickeys into visible spots on my neck, moving down to my collar bone and eventually to the full and plump part of my boob. this is where my dream stopped last week, ive been trying to ignore it for the longest time but being in the moment now after thinking about it in my head makes it feel even more surreal.

his hand sneaks to the bottom of my fresh love shirt that i took from matt’s drawers when i found out i was sleeping here his fingers feel the hem of it. “is it alright if i take your shirt off?” he says with a quiet voice, almost afraid of what i’ll say.

i quickly nod in reply but that doesn’t seem good enough for him.

“words smart ass, i need words.” he says with a little bit of a condescending tone to his love tainted words.

“yes matt, you can take my shirt off too.” i say with a small giggle following after it.

he lifts the fabric to uncover the same white lace bra i was wearing while i slept over at his house by accident. “mh, i’ve been dreaming about this for a while ever since i saw you in it that morning,” he kisses the lace that travels to the small connecting piece of fabric between the two cups of my bra.

“and i know you heard what chris said to me that morning, yet you still acted like nothing was wrong.” he moves his hand to my upper back placing his hand onto my bra strap, “hey, can i take this off?”

“mhm,” my lips sealed trying to conceal my response to the amazing feeling of his hands on my body, he undoes the clip on my back with skill and purpose. the touch of his fingertips grant goosebumps to my skin in a very arousing manner.

he pulls the dainty clothing article off my arms and throws it to the floor benign absolutely amazed by my tits, they weren’t much but it seemed like matt was under a spell, he latched his lips just above my nipple to give me more hickeys, he sucks and soothes repeating this multiple times before he eventually dips down to my nipple, i feel the rush of arousal arching slightly off the bed.

i moan in response to the new sensation, i’m not exactly a virgin, but i haven’t done anything like this in a while, let alone at all for god sake. he massages the other boob, playing with the nipple with his hand the opposite of the one his mouth is very focused on.

he finally comes up for air after a little bit teasing, my thighs rub together and sits up to rip his shirt off to match my level of revealing skin, off goes his sweats as well leaving him in just his boxers, “matt, oh my god” i'm out of breath and very needy.

he continues a trail of kisses down to my clothes pussy, he looks up at me while holding the stretchy waistband of my pants, i give him a vigorous nod knowing what he was asking for.

he slides them completely off leaving me in just my underwear. he plants another sweet kids over my clothed heat which milks another desperate moan from me. “matt wait-“ he immediately comes up from my bottom half and lays beside me listening to me.

“hey we don’t have too if you don’t want too, i’m down if you just wanna go to bed in the other room, or even if you just wanna stay here and cuddle for the rest of the night.” he says before i can go ahead with what i was thinking.

“no, no i really want too it’s just, i haven’t really… done this before.” i tell him, he seems almost fully unaffected by my words.

“that’s fine, i’m here to make you feel good,” he places his hand nearing my core again, he rubs my panties over my clit moving down to feel the very apparent wet spot. “wow i’ve barely touched you and your so worked up,” his voice was sultry with a hint of a condescending tone.

“m-matt please” i struggle to say feeling the pressure he's putting down onto my throbbing clit.

“i’m gonna take these off now, okay?” he says with his fingers wrapped around the thin string of my thong that’s barely covers anything.

he slips them off admiring the sight in front of him, i almost get self conscious wanting to cover myself up with his blankets. his head dips and his hands pant onto my hips and one on my inner thigh. his tongue makes very sudden contact with my clit, he sucks and swirls his tongue around it, feeling the very heavy pressure i arch my back slighting leaning forward into his face.

his finger creeps and teases my hole before he fully plunged it into me. i heavy moan escapes my lips, “quiet now princess, can’t let nick or chris hear you.”

he continues his movements stimulating both my clit and hole at the same time, “more, please” i say with a pleading tone. he removes his finger from inside of me and replaces it with his tongue and mouth. he absolutely devoured my pussy giving me as much pleasure as he could, his mouth moving back to my clip and he slid his finger back into me moving it at a moderate pace.

i don’t try very hard to conceal my very loud moans, as soon as matt enters a second finger into my dripping cunt, i release with a pornographic moan, squeezing his head between my legs. “holy shit matt,” he licks up all of my hot cum and comes back up to kiss me.

“mmh you did so well for me, you ready for me now?” i say a needy yes while he goes back to sit back on the his headboard. he removes his boxers with such haste letting his cock spring out with a bead of pre-cum leaking out. “i wanna watch you ride me, you control the pace and how deep you wanna go.” he whispers into my ear.

he lifts me on top of him, kissing him passionately while i grind down onto his twitching cock. he lets out a guttered groan “okay, let’s do this cause i could bust just from looking at you.”

he lines himself up and holds my hips while i sink down onto him. his so thick and long, i feel him in ever existing crevasse in my cunt. “fuck yes” i say letting out a heavy breath.

“holy shit you’re so tight-“ he says between his monas and hard breathes. i begin to move myself up and down slowly, whatever pain that came at first quickly moved to pleasure as i speed up my movements.

my tits bounce every time i move up or down, my movements are set at a constant pace, “matt, i think- i think i’m gonna cum.” i say, feeling his dick twitch in my pussy again.

“come for me baby, give it to me,” he says, taking me by my love handles and moving me up and down a little faster. i came hearing his words letting out a couple of breathy moans, he follows soon after me. i feel his thick long ropes of cum fill me up and come back down dripping onto his cock.

matt does a couple of slower pumps in and out of me to ride both of us through our highs. he picks me up as if i weigh nothing and puts me down beside him laying down onto the bed.

he goes into the bathroom to retrieve a small cloth and comes back to wipe me down. he does a couple of strips to pick up as much extra cum he could. i feel him hit my clit and i whimper loudly, “oh god, i’m sorry, i know your still sensitive.” once he’s finished he goes into the bathroom and cleans himself up.

fishing his boxers from the ground he slides them on and grabs my underwear and a large t-shirt from his closet. he hops onto the bed putting on my underwear and pulling me up to put on the shirt.

“mh thank you,” i say tired and groggy.

he plants a kiss onto my forehead “anything for you smart ass.”

he comes under the covers and wraps his arms around me, intertwining our legs. we sleep peacefully until the morning

taglist - @westwiing @comet235

[sleepy0s]

the introduction/ unfinished

Kind off prompt? Not rlly i just realised this matched 

A = get your F*ing dog B*tch!

B = It dont bite!

A = YES IT DO.

~~~

Okie dokie! I have an idea for this!!

So, basically family tree time! Also, they are all Canaries as having four different species of birds between siblings does not genetically make sense..(ignoring how we got 4 different colours tho)

Martyn = oldest = Green canary

Pearl = middle =  blue canary

Jimmy and Grian = twin youngest = yellow(Jimmy) and red canary(Grian)

Now, the reason Grian went to Japan for school was because when their parents were breaking up (Canon) Dad didn't want any of the kids, and mum didn't want to look after 4. So threw Grian to japan 👍

So obviously, Grian was in Japan when he met Taurtis, and Martyn, Pearl and Jimmy didn’t meet Taurtis until Grian added him into Evo. so, you can uh, guess how that went.

(This is really short, I just wanted to write this but then didn't know how to finish it.. :> and knowing me, i probably won’t wanna continue writing this later but i dont wanna let it rot on my doc)

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Grian! Get your sister away from me!” Taurtis screamed, clinging onto Grian trying to hide behind him - which doesn't really work, as Taurtis is taller.

Pearl was currently being held back by Jimmy, who, being younger, was struggling. The young Canaries wings flapped desperately trying to pull her away, “Pearl! Pearl! Stop!” Jimmy Squawked as he gradually lost his grip on his older sister's sweater, “Martyn!! Help me!”

Martyn, in fact, was doing the opposite of help. He was standing in the corner, recording the whole thing on his Comm. Enjoying the way Taurtis crouched behind Grian in fear- “Martyn! Help me hold her!” Martyn just laughed, “Why would I do that?”

Grian's wings twitched nervously as he tried to help his Boyfriend, “Guys- guys relax!” Pearl, did not take well to this.

“Relax!? You want me to relax!?  He has done terrible things to my baby brother!”  Her wings were all fluffed up and she looked like she wanted to punch Taurtis. “Pearl- you make it sound like he hurt me,” he squeaked, wings widening in an attempt to distance Pearl from Taurtis.

“He may as well have hurt you!”

(And that's as far as i got c: ) (If u want to your welcome to take this and finish it / rewrite it cos I’d love to see how this would end Just make sure to tag / credit me)

[a-ranting-blogorsomething]

a ff idea that i got at 3 AM

okay if i write it okay i may turn it into a proper book but so far just a glimpse,

a yoongi ff, he is a warrior and female lead is the youngest princess, king and queen died and crown prince is the one and only kim seokjin who is famous af because he is changing the monarch with new innovative ways which seems completely futuristic and old people set in their ways hate him and tries to manipulate him but his right hand man kim namjoon is just as savage and breaths fire, so an UNSTOPPABLE TEAM. anyways onto the story - part 1

.

playlist song - So high school, Alchemy - taylor swift.

.

I woke up with the sound of jimin practically screaming and going back and forth like all the worries of the world are on his shoulders.

"your highness please wake up we have tons of things to do!!!! we are going to be LATE!"

"oh my god!! for fucks sake relax, im up, and we are only going to meet jinnie for breakfast."

"He is the king, Im nervous..."

"Take deep breaths okay?"

"okay and dont curse your highness."

"i won't in front of other people as long as you stop calling me that i swear to god chim we have been together since babies, call me Lizzie."

"alright, just go get ready the maids have kept everything, your bath is ready and -"

"I got this chim go, you do what you want."

ughhh he really needs to chill, jimin, tae ad I have known each other since we were kids and they are my personal helpers, but more than that we are best friends, i can share absolutely anything with them well with tae, jimin is more like a mother, he always worries 24/7 and how everything could go wrong and how i should make good choices.

As i got ready and opened my door and their they were, My best friends, as I sling my arms on their shoulders, tae laughed while chim glared. as to silently saying thats not what royals do.

I can practically hear his voice in my head.

And we link arms and went to the royal dinning hall for breakfast. and we arrived to see a pretty entertaining site,

we see Kim Seokjin, the future king of this empire teaching the royal chefs how to cook that particular food to perfection as he calls, the jin way, while they are scared to death.

"Yes now you flip this when its that color, you dont add the salt before, it gets all crazy and-"

"Oh hey !! lizzie! tae and chim how are you ? Ah havn't seen you in ages with all the work that I'm surrounded by, I have got tons of gossip I need to tell you !"

we sat down and had the most amazing breakfast, obviously because it was supervised by my brother. while jin told us everyhting that happened to that old bastard who tried to manipulate him into doing something horrible and how he exposed so much of secrets that his wife left him with his kids and with all the estate and money which jin helped her getting and now he is alone with nothing. Classic.

chim is just there sitting absolutely horrified and tae and I are so freaking proud. after breakfast we met joon for tea until they both went to their office because they are planning something big, I am excited they are so amazing, ever since jinnie went to become the crown prince and handling everything he has done so much and his morals remain the same, helping everyone in need without being apologetic and never backing down, he deserves to be the king of this empire and i just know he is so loved by all the people.

and now its the time for the best part of day,

watching warriors practice,

tae, chim and I have this time in our day where from this window in the library you get the perfect view of the field where the royal warriors train and do practise fights, My personal favourite, general min yoongi, he trains the warriors, the first in line in every war, the most strangest and bravest warrior, every war he led, we never lost, also one of the best friends of my brother.

from 1 to 3 they fight and practice in the sun sometimes without shirts, where we three just die.

"This is the best time of the day, the sun is hitting perfectly on my future husband's chest" sighs tae.

"I know right"

"what which one was yours again tae?" asked chim

"The fiercest and new warrior jeon."

"Oh yea he has got the best upper body." i couldnt help but exclaim.

"ya! you got yours dont look at MINE!"

"What ? Im just appreciating beauty and dont worry I only got love for yoongi"

"both of you are wrong the crown prince have the best shoulders." whispered chim. but we heard and couldnt help but stare at him in bewilderment.

"W-What? I - I'm just saying...."

we spend the whole afternoon watching from the window and went down to "only drink tea" while sitting just beside where they were taking a break from the hard practice.

"oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!!!!! did THE jeon jungkook just looked at me and SMILED !!" tae exclaimed

"oh my god i think i saw that too!!!! he totally likes you tae!!"

i said while we hugged each other in our delusions.

"you guys support each others delusions way to much its not healthy."

"thats what friend ship is chim ."

"yea we should support yours too, jin thinks your are cute too!"

"YA WHEN TF DID I SAID THAT !!!"

chim screamed a little too loud as the warriors turned to look at us for real this time, while he sank in his seat with red cheeks in embaressment. while tae and I were trying to stifle our laughs.

after sometime we were just about to go inside when general jeon came out of nowhwere, and greeted us and asked me if he could take to tae, I agreed instantly as tae was uncharacteristically quiet with complete red face, they talked and chim and I tried to listen what was going on and I heard a clearing of a throat.

"Your highness"

"shut up chim I'm trying to listen !!"

i felt a tap on my shoulder and saw chim looking at me and I looked behind him and saw general yoongi LOOKING AT ME!! he called me !!

"Oh oh . um... .. general min."

"i dont think its nice to listen like this, others private conversations , your highness."

"oh no its fine tae is my friend."

"ah your highness i remembered something i need to go" jimin bowed an practically ran away.

"nice evening right ? general min"

"Yea its pretty nice we had a great practice"

"yea i saw......I -I mean i barely noticed but like you know I um I was coming down and i saw a glimpse of you know the swords and yea.."

"oh yea ohkay." said yoongi okay i might be delusional but i think he is shy,

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ITS SO FUCKIng cute IMMA DIE!!!

While we had an awkward af good bye i went and reunited with chim as we wait for tae in my room so we could ask him what was all of that.

.

.

[bibewilderedandbuck]

Maddie's "buck is 28 and i still have my hands full." not one person is like "where..........are ur parents" they just know those fuckers dont care

incoming rant about how much buck's parents and my parents are a like......

i maintain that theory that they're perfectly fine people outside of their kids. that is sitting in my head all day long. Bc that's what my parents were like. They are members of the community, my mom was the truancy officer at my high school and she would give jobs to kids down on their luck, to fix our computers or the car or mow the lawn. kids who had to work bc their families couldn't afford for them to spend the day at school (she would go to their court hearings and testify on their behalf). or babysit kids who were in the charge of their elder ""delinquent"" siblings. she would help pay for school lunches for those who couldn't afford it and if i had a friend who didn't have a lunch she had a mini fridge with extra food. My dad wasn't around bc he worked too hard, but he would always be up for taking all of our friends to ice cream on the weekends and he would make it a point to take us individually to an outing for our bdays so he could have time with us.

but she wasn't like that with Us. and thats the point. she shoved all her catholic guilt and family trauma on to us. the amount of times i can tell you that we've had to call the cops or almost take her to the er bc she pulled some stunt bc we were "ignoring her". she cried for a YEAR when i decided i wanted to leave for college. and my sister and brother have similar stories. we were all her therapist at one point in time. talking ur mother off the ledge when you don't even realize how depressed you are is one helluva way to grow up.

i was that kid who kept getting injured and it was definitely bc i was clumsy (i spent a lot of time before the age of 15 in hospitals for all sorts of reasons). as a kid you notice real fast that you get the Right Attention when you're hurt or sick

it took me a long time to unlearn how to say fuck you to the mandatory apology she would want for hurting her feelings aka "not filling her love tank properly" and even longer to even slightly understand what a personal boundary could be since we weren't allowed to have those.

I'm only a few years younger than buck and my parents are boomers, and we share a lot of traits (adhd and the Need to be wanted and the immediate anxiety catastrophizing). Not to mention we're both queer (thank you abc). WHICH also makes for a fascinating resemblance. i'm only getting therapy, adhd testing, ssri's recently bc i'd been fighting my way to finding myself for so long. When your parents are off but no one else sees it, you are under this cloud of i need to take care of THEM so i never did any discovering for myself! Until college.

Fuck. their portrayal gets to me so much bc they are so much like my parents. they care about what other's think but not what their actions do to the children living in their house. I UNDERSTAND their grief and i UNDERSTAND their loss. But those are explanations not excuses.

my parents never wanted kids, i was an accident. And you can tell they never really thought that they would have to set aside their life, their trauma to deal with a whole new being. And that's what the buckleys did.

i have no conclusion to this lmao, i just know that i am gonna write some buckley parents stuff and imma use it to work through some things

[ranger-rai]

Root

My family is pretty distant.

My sister has been climbing the economic ladder since she went off to Unova to study for business, we saw much less of her after her first year of school.

We recently reconnected, out of business obligation....

I have been seeing her a bit more lately but it's really awkward and hard to be professional but I do what I must.

My mom has been a bit distant lately too. She was always kind and caring, usually keeping my dad's feet on the ground whenever he had big ideas and was ready to decorate the whole house for Christmas or open a restaurant where people who didn't have a lot of money could trade things for meals.

She's been a lot more quiet lately, and last time I visited her she was looking into more of her Johto roots and I even heard her playing one of her old instruments.

My dad was a dreamer, bigger than life and cared about people and pokemon so much. He opened his small corner store, Mercado if you will, to help trainers and travelers who came to Sinnoh. Everyone in the area knew who he was, and he could remember every fact about a person he met only once.

He was also a lover of lore and history, probably why he settled in Sinnoh. I miss him a lot.

My little Brother "Tei" was just as energetic as my dad, and he LOVED pokemon. He was really excited to go on his pokemon journey one day...unfortunately he never got to do that.

I dont do what I do as a Ranger because I'm trying to remember them or be closer to them, but I sometimes feel like they are with me when I'm just enjoying what I do.

I can say that while I love and miss my family, I'm a lot closer to the people I call a family lately.

My whole team, every pokemon that I've adopted or that has adopted me is a very important part of my family.

My Ranger Team and I are super close. Eddie is like the Big Bro I never had. Minnie is like a little sister, though she thinks she's more responsible than me, and we have known each other since we were kids.

And Jo is a great boss who I respect, and although she's never said it, I think she cares about us too.

The Girls of Team Wild Dragoon are pretty awesome too.

Jo decided to help out an up and coming team of Poke-Tri-Games athletes and they work in our Cafe to help support their team and we see a lot of each other.

Konani is very nice and knows so much about herbs, plants and foraging, and she's surprisingly very funny. If you ever go into the cafe and see a funny chalk writing, it's probably hers.

Vea is very passoniate and can be a lot to handle but she has the back of anyone she deems worthy, so despite her abrasive and in your face attitude, she's pretty cool. I often see her and Minnie getting in little competitions, so it's good that Minnie has a friend.

And Tia...she's, pretty cool. It's a little hard to describe her but "determined" is a good start. A lot of people seem to write her off as "uptight, srandoff-ish, and ice cold" but she's actually very caring and nice, she just doesn't talk alot.

We were getting a lot of people asking if she was in a bad mood when they first started but we assured them that she was fine. She doesn't have a glare that could freeze a Glaceon soild, but I think she's just trying to figure people out.

I really admire how hard she works at it, and when she's in the sky training for their next competition, it's really something to see.

But uh...yeah I think I really care for my found family a lot!

[miamoo27]

Alochol ruins people

Lets me tell you something. Theres a really hurt, traumatized, kind person under every alocholic. Trauma is the only gateway to drugs. Its true. Something led you to something dangerous for relief from something dangerous in your life. Something that shows itself as a threat to you. Like when your around that person or situation your body is sore.

When I thinka bout breaking up my parents fights as a kid it makes me sad. I would never want to see a kid that sad like I was or have to do that. Working with kids sometimes makes me realize how much parents shape their kids. I cant believe my brother and I would have to break up fist fights at 14 years old. My brother is tough, I am strong. He keeps blinders on I dont let the wind break me. My mother is wild but courgeous. My father is avoidant but selfless.My dad was there when there was a medical emergency. But mental forget about it. My dad ignored every cry for help I ever gave and he did that to all his kids. I would tell him the pain I feel and he would say his father did the same but he is ok so I will be.

One day my mom and I were fighting a lot. Probably about her dirnking or something dumb but she called my dad when he was not living here to pick me up. He did he came for me. He took me to the temlpe a mile down the main road. He parked his jeep and we sat in the car while he told me about my papau (his father). How he hated him for a while, that he was abusive, ignorant, angry and mean. He told me how he got through it though. I knew what he meant and It meant a lot for someone who never opened up. It triggered my dad my mom was an angry drunk. She was so sad that she was angry to a point of everything made her mad. My father mostly and me, Sam not so much only if he didnt talk to her. She loved him, my mom let him get away with everything in high school. Which led to him loving the bottle maybe more or as much as my mom.

I was stoned most of the time my brother was drunk. I hated his parties. His friends were the "popular" older kids. I didnt like them that much. They always made me nervous. Never spoke to me and looked at me as "Sams little sister." I knew they thought I was a whore for rumors about Andrys and I. I didnt care. I did care because I actually sadly want other people to like me.

Usually during my brother house parties where I could not freely just smoke with my friends in my room and paint I would go to Maxs or Yasmines. Max being my ex boyfriend I sometimes fucked around with. I would have to dispear from the house I would not stand it.

One night I came home from Maxs and I look down stairs and my old best friend Chandler was downstairs with my brother. In my head I thought what I little fucking whore. But I smiled and Wanted to give the middle finger to her little posey of friends. Ugh I hated everyone at my school, they made me feel awkard. I didnt like lululemon leggings, they all wore them though and I would force myself to fit in for some reason. All. the guys liked them. I thought I was pretty but not perfect. I didnt have clear skin, nice teeth and amazingly straight soft silky hair. I knew I wouldnt be them. They didnt fuck though. Opps. They didnt have my spunk, ew. I cant believe I am writing this as a 23 year old but I know I was thinking this at 16.

I was jealous of them. I hate to admit it but I hated how they were admired. I focused on smoking, my art and my friends but also the new guys I can fuck. I looked for validation in the wrong places and the wrong people. I had no role model. My aunt maybe was but my mom could careless if I was ok she was the one that made me feel so much pain. I hated how attatched I was to her. I always wanted her to be happy when her focus was on other things. So I did the same.

This led to mother calling me a WHORE THAT LETS ANYONE INTO HER TWAT. holy shit I can not believe she actually said that to me. Looking back her drunkness is funny to me now. LIke I was raised bya n alocholic and I am ok. Wow, people are resilent. She was still able to feed my brother and I and opperate on like a handle of vodka a day. That bitch wild but we love her because honestly she did the best she could. She was so traumatized by her fucked up child hood tand then her marriage falling apart she got driven to the bottle. She always used to say

"first the man takes the bottle then the bottle takes the man"