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#i dont have the capacity to write rn
rilgar · 8 months
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It's hard rn for me. ... i guess. Trying not to think it's the loneliness....but maybe it is.
How i bend over backwards to help others, provide.... receive zero effort in return.
It's rough. Personal things happening rn too which... i hope don't turn bad. Idk.
I just wish someone could hold me rn. Tell me it's gonna be okay.
Instead of asking me for money. Asking me to do things... and then just waste my time.
It's rough. It's like I'm in no mood for anyone rn.
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ghetto-omega · 5 months
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‎‧‎❀‎✿❀Omegaverse Culture Overview❀✿❀
𑁍 warning.. I am.. African American... Never been outside the US, so I can really only speak on the culture around me. If people wanna weigh in on culture from other places please do. Actually, I'm begging, I'm rolling over, I'm listening please please please please please please please please please please volunteer your own headcanons. 𑁍
This will be a short overview of a lot of things, so it's just gonna be a lot of thoughts and not a lot of depth. However I am planning on actually making an indepth post about each one of these topics.
With that being said...
‎‧₊˚✿Food✿˚₊‧
𑁍just general food headcanons𑁍
The omega stereotype is craving carbs and sweet foods, specifically because of what they're like after heats. Most energy during heat is depleted, so in order to get their stamina back they have to eat all of carb heavy foods
The alpha stereotype is craving tough or crunchy foods, because of their ruts. With biting instincts ramped up they tend to want things that are harder to chew through. It's like the equivalent of putting a live cricket in a spider enclosure because they want the stimulation from hunting their food
Carb and protein filled foods tend to be stocked in most houses. Especially filling carbs. Families are typically very large, with multiple generations all living within walking distance or in the same house. Keeping dense foods stocked is important to keep everyone fed
Pups in particular tend to have slightly stricter diets because their stomach isn't built for handing some foods until at least their preteen years
‎‧₊˚✿Names✿˚₊‧
𑁍naming your children, as well as derogatory names𑁍
I think that people would tend to name their kids after items that smell good, their favorite foods, other family members, plants, and religion
I also think they'd be a fan of situational names as well as generational names
For example, have three kids, one being named Sunday (situational, born on a Sunday), Suzie (maybe a pack members or a family members name), and Sumiya but her nickname is sushi, and all of the names starting with "su" makes the names generational.
You could even expand on that and have all the packs kids names be something like suki, sumirah, summer, summo, ect. Giving you a quite literal generation of names. (<- my family did this ! All the girls names end in "ah" and all the boys end in "en or on")
I can also see a kid being named something like Foxglove, Cedar, Jasmine, or even something like Honey or Teatree, because that's what the parent's mate smells like
I think calling an omega a "slick dripper" or a "slick house" is uhm... Not exactly a slur but it's not something you should say.
I think that married betas and omegas are told they are "Collared". It's typically derogatory, but there are exceptions. I think the alpha equivalent would be "Bitched", which is basically always derogatory
I think some people call betas "baren" or "scentless". Once again, not a slur, but definitely something close to it lol
‎‧₊˚✿Housing✿˚₊‧
𑁍pack houses and their differences𑁍
There's two different notable styles of home. There's a regular house, and a pack house
Pack houses don't have too much of a difference, but they are larger and tend to follow similar layouts. With one floor being taken up with giant meeting rooms and similarly size kitchens, as well as at least one bathroom with either a huge tub or multiple small ones. The upstairs floor(s) tend to house all the bedrooms and a few smaller on suite bathrooms
Some pack houses are essentially just mini mansions, completely with a few different wings of the house all marked by a different meeting room
And the term "meeting room" is also a difference. They're essentially just big living rooms. Why is there a different name, isn't that a bit pretentious? You ask. Bc some guy who thought he was better than everyone else coined the term pack house and decided there needed to be a difference, for some reason
‎‧₊˚✿Families/Packs✿˚₊‧
‎𑁍general pack headcanons𑁍
Big families !!! Huge families even !! Families that take up entire neighborhoods or culdesacs !!
Conversations between kids where they ask how many mom's someone has is common !! Kids ask their parents why their friend gets to have 5 dads but they only get to have 2 !!
Not everyone's parents are romantic !! Some are just part of the same pack !!
In my personal au I use prime omegas and prime alphas, but they're just titles for the leaders of the pack. Even then, modernly they aren't doing much leading. It's more event planning, pupsitting, tie breaking lol, things like that
Your primes do not have to be mates or anything. It's just about who's the most reliable and level headed. Oftentimes, anybody who stays home for most or all of the day falls to this roll by default
‎‧₊˚✿Clothing✿˚₊‧
𑁍a few clothing headcanons𑁍
Collars aren't typically worn outside casually. Typically they have a cause. Whether it's newly weds, protests, covering scent glands, or some secret 4th thing, they typically have a purpose.
Honestly this whole section would need to be it's own post for me to do it justice tbh
Clothes that "trap scent" are pretty commonly worn. They're made of a light but thick fabric that cinches or cuffs around the scent glands and they often comes in matching sets. This is especially common in omega targeted gym wear, but there are sets made for everyone
Nuns also typically wear this type of garment
‎‧₊˚✿Other✿˚₊‧
𑁍miscellaneous headcanons𑁍
Gift giving is very important. Specifically, giving food is very important (I am biased, I am a very food orientated and motivated person). Giving someone food they don't like by accident is alright, but if you know they don't like it, and give it to them? Disrespectful.
So I'm semi familiar with the Christian Bible, I grew up going to church (<- religious trauma haver). You know how a lot of people draw Jesus as white even though he very much wasn't ?? Yeah I think people claim Jesus was an alpha, but he was a beta and there's overwhelming evidence in the Bible to show he was beta and people just ?? Ignore that bc they want to lol
Some people are born with animal features, some aren't. The place you were born in + your parents (and maybe a little plot relevant magic lol) determines what type of features you get. People who live in deserts or next to mountains are often born with horns or scales, while tropical and temperate climates tend to be born with more feathers and furry features
Heat blockers/suppressants as well as rut blockers/suppressants can only be prescribed by doctors. Giving them out or selling them can land you in prison post haste, but they're also so hard to get your hands on that the market of people buying them counterfeit grows everyday, despite the complications and risks
Blockers and suppressants can lead to fertility issues as well as immune issues, particularly in omegas, but don't count out anyone with ruts either, it's just less common. Lots of people on blockers are immunocompromised
Scent/pheromone blockers on the other hand, are much easier to come by, especially because they sell patches right over the counter. Though, if you wanted a much more discreet pill you would need to get those prescribed as well. It is particularly hard for omegas to get them prescribed, as usual
And that's it for now U⁠^⁠ェ⁠^⁠U
This post is basically just a giant reminder for me to write about these topics in depth. Just a whole lotta surface level thoughts. I also didn't cover weddings, holidays, mating rituals, social climate, etc. so I'll have to do separate posts on those
This took a bit longer than I wanted bc I am uhm. Suicidal lol. And then there's the drake v Kendrick beef and I've been fixated on it. Like I fr don't even like K dot that much I've just always hated Drake fuck that nga !!!
If you see a spelling mistake... No you didn't...
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asukiess · 4 days
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I love women who suck soooo so so much
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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🏹
#i hope no one reads this bc my avpd is crazy rn and i cant be affectionate#BUT...#i know there are some good ppl in the world#many ppl on tumblr (and twitter) has been very kind to me#i know not everyone are bad ppl#im just stuck in this bpd mood where only ONE thing is true#and i constantly feel so hurt and trampled on and disrespected#and i feel like i cannot trust anyone#so my brain hones in on that i feel unsafe w everyone#but okkkk listen i know i know some ppl are very nice to me#and i appreciate that more than i can ever have words for#so.. like yeah i've gotten some asks but i cant reply bc i cant be social directly#but no i dont hate everyone on here or think every single person is awful#like when ppl are nice to me no i dont think theyre horrible#but with my trauma brain... and my past experiences#i get very sensitive sometimes and i feel like everyobe are lying to me and making fun of me#and everyone is in on a joke abt me that im unaware of#and i feel like if i lay myself bare i'll only be taken advantage of and humiliated#i just feel right now very weak and like all my skin's off#and im walking around like a huge wound and if someone even breathes on me it hurts so much#so im sorry for being mean and saying so many rude things rn im just kinda falling apart#but i still have capacity to recognize that ppl are nice to me on here ok i just dont know what ro#what to do with it*** bc im not used to that#im used to ppl bullying me or being mean and i hate that but i just cry and hurt myself and i know what to do#when someone's nice to me i feel like the world is upside down and the sky is like green and the water is red i dont get it#anyway.. yeah i hope no one reads this and when i ramble and write a lot the chance of less ppl reading gets higher#anyway... i just wanted to write this and get it out into the universe#bc i sometimes do things to isolate myself even further bc i've never had community or support or comfort or friendships so lowkey i dont#even want to nurture things that can lead to that bc idk what to do with that. how to not fuck it up.#anyway... idk what im saying or thinking even
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wheeboo · 7 months
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hii everyone i'm alive ^-^ sorry for being a little quiet i got sick LMAO. on top of endless uni work and horrible stress headaches :(( i was going to try n post something this weekend but was unsurprisingly couch ridden majority of the time anyway so i couldn't write djfklsjfds
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starrspice · 2 years
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Is there a story that goes along with the cupid au?
If you're asking if theres a fanfic to go along with it I'm afraid not
(If someone wants to write one I will literally die of happiness)
BUT i do have an idea for a complete story for the Cherub AU
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magpiesbones · 27 days
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worst thing about being disabled is that now I am fully and completely aware of exactly how much I am worth to everyone I know. And it is not a lot!!
#like. it gets to me. A lot of the time it’s ohhh your life is priceless and. Well. Okay I did just see you put a price on it though.#like. It’s not always blatant but the laziness comments get to me. The stupid comments get to me. The money comments also get to me.#Either all life is precious or I am a drain on society. you cannot have both.#Why is my life worth less than twenty dollars. Better yet why are YOU gambling with MY life. wear your FUCKING masks.#like I’m usually fine bc I simply do not have the capacity for any more shit. I am existing in less dimensions than most ppl and Not Aware#And then when I am better I experience two entire years of Concentrated Cosmic Horror before I fold back down into being two dimensional#Cosmic horror? Eldritch horror? I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW. what I do know is that I straight up Do Not believe in the soul anymore bc of this!#like I’m horrified!! It is literally horrifying. If I still had all of me I could write some deeply fucked up metaphor but rn what I’ve got#Is like. okay so I’m supposed to be like. A galaxy on the inside folded into a person shape. Right#there’s stuff happening in there. three to five trains of thought at once etc. etc. and that is not what I have anymore. what I have now is#like. One planet and a white dwarf. not even a neutron star. And everything else went out so gradually that I didn’t really notice but#I woke up one morning and it’s not there and then I got into the habit of not looking up bc that’s a lot of work and I have to keep paintin#galaxies on the ash of this stupid little planet. And then I experience random bandaid treatment and Have The Knowledge again and.#I get to experience Plato’s allegory of the cave in REAL TIME and involuntarily!!#It really does suck that the only time I am able to comprehend the magnitude of my loss is when I’m not experiencing it!! bad times!!#I’m tired of being agreeable. Wear masks. Petition for air purifiers in public spaces. Or I start biting for real#if you notice I’m dealing with long covid a. BADLY. you’re right!! Gold fucking star! I challenge ANYONE to deal with The Bullshit actually#I’m not going to let myself be martyred for the fucking. Economy. Bull FUCKING shit.
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wornlilac · 11 months
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i just wanna be here tbh but i still cant write anymore
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mizzmellos · 1 year
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@overkeehl I FINALLY WATCHED IT WITH MY WIFE LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS SOOOOO FUCKING GOOOOOD <- YOUR MIND IS IMPECCABLE AS ALWAYS
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doodlboy · 2 years
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very 4:44am monday to everyone
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cozyqueerchaos · 2 years
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girl (genderless) i want to WRITE but brain is broken. anyway if anyone wants to send me drabble prompts go for it <3
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fun little raz fact I love genderbend but in a deeply dykeish way. I just love women so much and always end up hyperfixated on male characters. however... when people write the woman version as petite and curvy and soft and weak I want to bite something. maintain the fucking character design you cowards. I don't CARE if they have features that are more conventionally attractive on men than women KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY. some of us LIKE that shit and pretending that women can't have masculine features is transphobic, racist, and misogynistic. however... when they DO maintain the character I am kissing the author on the mouth gently and platonically. I'm loeign woman.
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scoobrt · 2 months
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ah wow love getting suddenly hit with the worlds worst cocktail of emotions!!! gotta love it
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xrinsu · 1 year
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you wish you were me. finding caterpillars on my tomato plants 4 millimeters long. I found like 3 more today. definitely in the cutworm family.
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princemick · 1 year
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..
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blerb-f1 · 8 months
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"The Future" - Sebastian Vettel x reader
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The news truly shocked me and compelled me to write this.
Lewis Hamilton is a side character in this.
not proofread i dont have the mental capacity rn
This fic also is kinda part of a series, but it can stand on it's own! For more, view my masterlist.
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“Have you considered it at least?”
A fragmented voice sounding through a tin-like phone speaker asked with a certain pressure behind it. The kind of pressure you’d only hear from people who wanted something. Something important.
Sebastian eyed the phone hesitantly, placing it on the windowsill while holding his watering can. Little droplets sliding down it’s side as he attempted to water his dried pot of basil - traveling was never something that helped in plantkeeping, not when you’d spend half the year in random hotels somewhere in the world.
He did not feel the need to return to the circus known as Formula 1, having enjoyed his time there but entirely content with retirement. Opposed to some of the others, he thought, he knew when to quit. No longer circling the biggest cities on earth but the supermarket parking lot in hopes of finding an empty spot. More importantly, waking up in his own bed for 7/7 days a week was a major joy to him, a feeling he didn’t feel like giving up.
“You know as well as i do, that we need an  experienced driver. George’s good but… He just can’t give us the direction needed.” Toto sounded quite serious at that moment - Lewis deciding to leave must have hurt him badly, considering him approaching Sebastian.
“Also… I just want someone i can trust to be around me”
Looking up in surprise, Seb almost dropped the watering can on the floor. Lewis leaving had REALLY hurt him.
“I’ve been thinking about retiring from F1 now. But they’d probably cancel F1 Academy without me around. Force Susie into Submission. I don’t want that. Fuck no.”
“Toto, I-” Sebastian started speaking, plucking the dead leaves from his pot of basil. “I like life. I love peaceful mornings.”
Silence. The phone speaker didn’t echo out for a few moments. 
“What would you say, if i told you we had a championship winning car?”
—-----------------------------------------------
“You really agree to it?” Sebastian asked, Surprise lingering on his voice.
“Of course i do, i’ve seen you thirst for racing while you yourself didn’t. I was with you from the beginning till the end of your career, don’t you think i’d be able to read you by now?” Y/N answered him, their eyebrows pulled together in a mild emotion.
“But there’s a catch.”
“Yes?”
“I’ll be your race engineer. Like i’ve always been”
“Huh?” Seb asked again, this time even more surprised than before. Y/N nodded seriously. “I can’t see you race with another Engineer at your side. It feels wrong.”
The man man pondered for a moment, his brain racking. “You’re right. I’ll talk to Toto.”
A week later, Mercedes made an announcement. For the 2025 season, Bono would be moving to the lead Race Engineer position, not being directly responsible for a single racer. The community was confused, unsure of what was happening. Would they be promoting a rookie racer and engineer to grow their youth? Would they be getting a driver and engineer paring from another team?
Twitter and Reddit Artists were working hard, creating shitpost after shitpost, pundits podcast over podcast as the season progressed, trying to figure out who’d be the next racer.
Meanwhile Sebastian and Y/N were busy in their own ways. Practicing their communication again, the driver getting physically fit and in shape again. Moreso than he had been during his time at Aston Martin. This was going to be serious - no more lazing around. Go hard or go home.
Y/N worked with Bono - the man they used to work against- to get used to the Mercedes way of communication. It was very difficult, more strict compared to the free Red Bull. More lenient compared to the crazy Ferrari. More rule governed, compared to Aston Martin. Peter Bonnington was surprised in his own way, understanding why L/N and Vettel were the scary Duo they had been all this time. They had been a team since 2008, their shared time rivaling his and Lewis. Lewis- that was a mental direction he shouldn’t go to. Mercedes would need to win the championship, no time to waste on stupid thoughts.
As the season progressed and Fans grew mad with their speculation, Mercedes made a post on their instagram. It was a Photo of one of the trees outside their HQ, with a little bee fluttering around it. One single Description. “We love nature”.
Fans went wild with speculation, thinking, planning, shitposting. 
Then one day, two weeks away from the season beginning, the news fell. Two announcement posts in a single day. Y/N L/N heading to Mercedes as Race Engineer, Sebastian Vettel as driver. Mercedes returning back to their silver arrows livery.
The community went wild, the thing they’d never expected had happened.
Lewis meanwhile, was downtrodden. He had expected this move to work out differently. Ferrari clearly designated Charles as Driver 1, not adjusting around him like he’d gotten used to. Their bad race engineering got him into trouble many times. Seeing this news almost broke him. They had replaced him with his friend, who didn’t speak a single word of this? Shame on him.
Shortly after, a Video went online on the Mercedes Account. Sebastian and Y/N were seated among the many championships belonging to Mercedes, clad in white teamgear. Their eyes were determined, telling people they hadn’t arrived to play. As Sebastian took of his hat, people noticed the change. His own cold smile had returned, the one that caused people to call him a smiling assassin. His locks short again, like when he’d won his own championships. Y/N had assimilated, they’re hair bleached and dyed into a silvery colour. 
Fans once again were shocked, they truly hadn’t expected Sebastian to return like this. More akin to the way Schumacher returned but apparently that was not the choice Vettel made - he was here to win, not for the participation trophy.
As the season opener in Australia rolled around, many eyes were glued to the screen. Y/N was sitting on a bicycle along with their driver on his own, passing over the track. Taking in texture, dirt and heat. The media approached them back in the pits, shoving microphones in their face. Y/N just grunted, showing the media a literal middle finger before dipping into the Mercedes pitwall. 
This was the same paring as back in 2011, ready to fight. Qualifying went well, dangerously well. It was as if Seb hadn’t left F1. But not the 2022 Version, the 2012 Version. His defense was ruthless, his attacks even more. He utilised all the skills he had honed over years, even the smallest tricks Michael had once explained to him to gain a faster time. As he crossed over the finish line in first position, Martin Brundle screamed out loud. Nobody had expected this, nobody thought he could win a race again. Toto was jumping in the Mercedes Garage, Y/N jumping along and almost throwing the headset down.
Sebastian on the radio was back to his own, singing, cheering and screaming absolute gibberish. Pulling into Parc Fermé, he was surprised at having the camera and microphone pushed into his face. This new way of doing things was very unusual to him. 
“So Sebastian, tell us how you’re feeling.”
“I feel like i belong” was his simple answer, pushing the camera out of his face as he headed to get weighed. He took a short look at the staircase leading up to the podium. It had been a while since he had last set foot onto them. They were almost scary but he knew, he was secure. A hand placed on his shoulder, one that he had felt there for many years. Y/N was there to get the constructors trophy, truely the only appropriate person today.
The clothing wasn’t the same as in the past, but the energy was. People were cheering, even more were booing. Not wanting another Era of Mercedes Dominance. Booing however, did nothing to deter Sebastian or Y/N. After all, they were the original Red Bull Villains. 
Ignoring the rules, they let the champagne down to the team to enjoy. This was their first victory after a few years as well, they deserved it after sacrificing two seasons to get this car made.
Then, a lone camera man captured an almost painfull view. Lewis Hamilton, clad in the strong Ferrari Red standing aside, looking up to the silver team with sadness and longing in his eyes. This hurt him, it truly did. Tears were welling in his eyes as the camera man moved away tactfully, instead capturing the celebrating couple instead.
The season progressed, a grandslam in all eyes. Win after win - not a single Race lost. As the Final in Bahrain rolled around and Sebastian collected his fifth driver’s championship, he knew he had found a new family and home. Y/N and him were celebrating wildly, the basil on the windowsill long forgotten among the glory and the parties, the heat and the energy.
It was that day, that a man entered a plane back to his new home in Italy. Eying the still not fully unpacked furniture, he settled onto a lightly dusted chair. Had leaving Mercedes truly not been the right decision? Lewis looked at a photobook a fan had gotten him. From winning with McLaren, the years with Nico and Valtteri, Mercedes had truly grown into his home and Family. What had made him leave them then? Was it the thirst for glory? Had he not enjoyed the atmosphere anymore? He felt conflicted. People had told him that Ferrari would break him. He didn’t want to believe them, but they were right. The red team had once again done what it did best. Destroy someone. Lewis looked back on Sebastian’s Face, remembering his defeated expression after the years of fighting with the red team. Of getting recognition for Kimi as well. Of standing up against Charles.
Lewis considered his options, putting his own life on the golden scale. Then, he made a decision. Opening instagram, he made a single post. Cuddling Roscoe, the description was simple, something nostalgic almost. “I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1”
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