#i dont have energy to engage with content on social media

[problematiq]

visiting the parents is nice and well except my dad’s keeps the news running 24/7 for no reason so I can’t really spend time with them without hearing war, war, war, catastrophe, terror CONSTANTLY, it’s just misery on top of misery on top of misery on top of misery

i know it’s important to stay informed but this is just excessive and so emotionally draining. like, right now i’m sitting on the balcony, removing myself from the situation & trying to distract myself with music and other bullshit because when i think about our collective future for more than 5 minutes i’m going to lose my goddamn mind… i already feel like a pos because i’m not “doing enough” even though i am fortunate enough to live in prosperity… and i’m thankful for every day i get to live in peace but the fear of losing that by war reaching us & my country /the EU ruining itself from the inside due to the right gaining more power and controlling the narrative is so debilitating that i just don’t want to think about it… i just want to pretend that none of this concerns me

I wish I were 18 again and angry instead of 29 and afraid

[the-kipsabian]

saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ

first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it

you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh

im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you

i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life

[ladymirdan]

There’s a dumbass 4chan thing being shared in groups I’m in where Amazon is supposedly forcing GW to make female custodes bc they want them in the show and HC might walk and ruin GW’s stock and other stupid shit. I know it’s dumb but it’s triggering my anxiety really badly and I can’t get the thought out of my head, especially because these groups are normally a space I feel safe in but there’s been one or two idiots ever since the announcement that has been toxic and it’s hard to enjoy 40k now

I understand, and I'm sorry. I wish these people could be reasoned with, but they cant, because they dont really care about Warhammer, they care about “the issue”. Pointing out things like “the authors of Black Library has fought for this for years” is like water on a duck.

The thing I usually do when I come across those people is try to not engage (difficult, I know, and I fail a lot of times), log off social media for a moment, and go to my local Warhammer store (the offical ones are the best at this).

Seeing the energy from people actually playing the game is so diffrent and sobering. I made a roadtrip across yourube last summer and made a point to visit every GW store along the way, and every single one had happy, excited staff and customers. And it always fills me with that hope and joy again.

I dont do Reddit that much, because its home to some chronically online people that just manages to bait me every time. I like Tumblr the most because its is 99% people to share their hobby experiences (and two angry guys screaming into a bucket).

That being said, the show might be cancelled, it might suck, but Warhammer will survive. It's not like it hasn't had shitty shows before. My favourite one is that Ultramarine movie, which is so bad that it becomes good again.

But you are also right, I have been giving these idiots too much of a platform they dont usually have. And I will be returning to my regular content again, which is geeking out about Ultramarines, Iron Warriors, Emperors Children, Nightlords, or some other flavour of the week (right now Aeldari,)I have been putting off building for a while since my hobby space is a bit messy, but I will clean it up and post more lovely pictures of mini butts.

This will blow over, it always does.

[intersexfairy]

I know a lot of minors aren't taught internet safety, so here are some internet safety tips. I learned these growing up, and by not being safe as a minor. Please note some of these have exceptions if a trusted adult is involved.

First, throw away the idea of the internet as a safe place. It is not safe. It never was and never will be safe. There are far too many people and things running around on the internet for it to be safe for anyone - adults included. But we can modify how we use it to minimize risk - that's all "internet safety" is. So, that said:

Do not give or display personal information (especially not to people you don't know offline). Use an alias, even on email accounts. Don't tell people how old you are, or where you live. Don't post your face, or pictures of anyone or thing that could be used to identify you. Keep any account with personal information private, only viewable to people you know in person. Make sure a trusted adult or friend is aware of what you do online - someone who knows things in case anything happens.

If you need to break some of the above rules due to dangers you face in person, stay anonymous. Blur your face and other identifying info. Make throwaway accounts. Only share what's necessary to help you, and nothing more. Be careful about where you seek help. If possible, find an organization with online resources or a hotline.

Stay away from adult spaces and pay attention to content warnings. Filter tags and phrases (ex: minors dni, nsfw, [insert your trigger here]). TW/CW tag content you post, too. Don't follow NSFW accounts, and certainly don't make one - there is no exception. Any sexual expression is best kept between you and your friends, in a safe, offline place. And any adult who tells you it's okay to be in 18+ spaces as a minor does not care about your safety.

Also, ideally, follow age ratings on media - social media and apps included. I know, this one isn't fun. Even Tumblr is 17+. You can have some really positive experiences on apps like this, so I wont tell you to gtfo. But you can just as easily have some awful ones. If you ever feel unsafe or distressed on a platform, please know you have every right to leave. Nothing is more important than your safety and wellbeing.

Lastly, I'm upset to say this one, but please dont fucking harass people. If you don't like someone, block them. And if someone is harming someone else, report them and let others know to block them. Harassing people online can, genuinely, kill them. I saw it happen the other day. (I mean this in the least hostile way possible) If you can't understand why this is wrong - that your actions and views may not always be justified - it is not safe for you to be online. In tandem with this, don't engage with upsetting things. Delete your discourse blog. Trust me - it's better to spend your energy on things that are actually fun and positive.

In summary: Stay anonymous. Keep private information private. Curate your online experience. Stay out of 18+ spaces as a minor. Be careful with who you trust, and treat people how you want to be treated. And while you do all this? Have fun! Remember, the internet (probably) isn't going anywhere. If you need a break, take it. Be kind to yourself - and others. The more people do this, the safer we all can use the internet.

[velnna]

Hi! You seem really nice and ive been following youna while on multiple platforms and i really like everything you make. If this is an odd/invasion of your vibes question feel free to ignore.

How do you approach social media so (seemingly) easily and get traction since most of your work is ocs/original stuff?

Ive tried posting my original work on here a lot,i dont really draw fanart much, and im intimidated by other social media (tiktok doesn't feel posting art friendly and Twitter is burning) and so i was looking for advice from people i look up to artistically. Thank you for your time!

-a beast of anxiety

Heyo! First of all, happy you like my work 💕

At the beginning I had a much more methodical approach to social media tbh (mostly on instagram, which was where I got started). I only posted OC stuff but I interacted a lot with the platform and other people's work and I think the dynamic of uplifting others and growing alongside them worked very well.

That being said these days I barely have the energy to properly interact on social media so I'm surviving on vibes only. OC content does well if people are captivated of intrigued by it, so artwork that shows a lot of personality, interactions or glimpses into a character's story/motivations/etc is more likely to get engagement. I'm not saying you should aim for that if it's not what you're into, but that's definitely how I roll (probably because I'm more of a writer at heart and don't often draw things without a scene or backstory in mind).

I think ultimately there isn't really a best way to do it and you should find what makes you feel good (making or sharing it). It's nice to get engagement on OCs but making OC content with engagement in mind probably spoils it a bit 🤔

[nahalism]

Do you think, ultimately, the internet has some great positive effects on you? Thinking mostly of an outlet, or maybe a means to connect with others…does it at times affect you negatively as well? How is it for you you little wild 1

lol little wild 1 is funny.

personally i have good things to report. i mainly use it as a digital library (to learn, to look thru various archives, download books, music and online lectures). when i am using social media follow pages that will show me content i want to see, rather than follow people simply cause i like them and their personality. i also choose to post in a way where i put out the kind of energy id like to share w people irl. ofc, thats not completely true 100% of the time. mostly cause i cant control ppls perception of me, but also i also vent a lot more online than i would irl (particularly on tumblr). howeverr, even that venting is a representation of who i am so 'tis what it is.

i think the internet an outlet and a means to connect with others, & unlike some, i dont think its any less valid than real life communication, however i do think its not a substitute for real life interaction as a whole. ive met lots of great ppl thru it who ive later come to rly love and appreciate in real life. so yeaaa. the negative aspect i guess is when ur aware of more, u see and feel more, and consequently experience things at a heightened level. whether thats having too much information to process or being able to compare / hyper analyse yourself / your worth at a higher level due to the wider pool of comparison available. whilst that can be 'bad' i also think its good and helping humanity evolve at an accelerated level and much needed speed.

all that being said, i think the internet is like most things in life. its a mirror. a persons perception of it and experience of using it is mostly a reflection of who they are, what they choose to follow, and what they choose to engage in. i know thats a hot take in some circles and that it doesnt always apply. for example, someone being bullied online didnt seek that out or attract is cause they deserve it. what i more so mean is that what u look for on here finds u. if u online shop, ur ads will reflect that. if u follow and obsess over ig models you will find more models to idolise and obsess over. if you deep dive into music, u will find more great music. and if u look for information, you will find more information (usually the kind u look for, sometimes the kind u didnt look for).

hby?

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

ok so. maybe this is bullshit im no psychologist but whatever. this is abt people saying that u need creative and social hobbies not just consuming media hobby, and then that turning into a generally anti media consumption attitude (and the term "media consumption" itself having negative connotations).

basically i think consuming media, making art, and interacting socially are three spheres of entertainment that people generally need all three of but that have significant overlap. watching/reading fiction and then analyzing it is engaging with art and is both consuming art and creating it. watching a tv show and then talking abt it w ur friend is both consuming art and interacting socially. working on a song w ur friend is both making art and interacting socially. these are all good. you should be doing all three of these things and you will probably often find yourself doing multiple at once. the problem comes when you're only watching shows and reading fiction without engaging in anything creative or social, and you dont have any other hobbies, so you're more subject to boredom/burnout/depression/etc.

people also associate "consuming media" with passivity, like passively watching tv, and assume thats why consuming art as your singular hobby will have a negative impact on you, but consuming media can be active too (like reading a book), and like i mentioned above, it can also be creative and social. reading a book or magazine instead of watching a tv show will not make up for the lack of activity in the other two spheres, but analyzing/making fan content of fiction you like or participating in a book club can.

so yes, you may feel bored and unfilled if all you do on your free time (or if all you have energy to do w the limited free time you get) is watch tv. but this is not tv's fault. it is just not enough on its own to be sufficiently stimulating. if you had a creative job that you had to work overtime at thats making you feel tired and bored then you might need a break from being creative to listen to some stories for a while. or if you spend all day socializing and its exhausting you then you may need a break to be creative or engage w fiction on your own. its necessary to create a world where everyone has time and energy to do all three of these things

[tinylittlecubby]

Mistakes Ive Made Post 2022

Getting distracted by watching content (poor time management)

Irregular sleep schedule (poor time management/poor energy management)

Poor dietary choices (poor financial management/poor time management)

Not doing homework or studying (poor emotional regulation/poor time management/poor focus/poor concentration/not asking for help from teachers or tutors)

Mal adaptive daydreaming (poor emotional regulation/poor time management/contributes to depressive symptoms)

Not planning out week on sundays and instead taking it day by day (poor time management/poor planning)

Lack of consistency due to fluctuating energy and not enforcing social boundaries (poor energy management/poor time management/poor communication)

Being emotionally intimidated by tasks and therefore not breaking them down into smaller chunks ahead of time and completing them chunk by chunk

Spending a lot of time on social media platforms like reddit and twitter that do not add to my emotional goals of inspiration and motivation (vs how in highschool i spent a lot of time being inspired through tumblr and youtube primarily) (poor emotional regulation/poor time management/poor energy management)

Not journaling nearly as often as I used to in order to regulate my emotions and to celebrate my successes (poor emotional regulation)

Focusing on money too much and getting distracted and trying to get jobs and engage in employment development programs (lack of focus/lack of concentration/poor material conditions/poor financial management)

I currently do not have a mentor that is teaching or encouraging me (poor social connection)

I dont dance or sing for fun as much anymore ever since getting sick (poor creative engagement/poor emotional regulation)

weak moral goal compared to goal alignment in highschool (poor emotional regulation and clarity)

Poor understanding of what needs to be sacrificed in order to achieve the appropriate goals (poor planning/poor emotional regulation)

Smoking weed regularly (substance abuse/poor emotional management)

[4dtk]

based on a lil discussion with me and @moonboohoo btw this is a little ooc since sukuna is a cat lol. enjoy!

[yuji is typing...]

oh my godddd you're ordering food? i want food too wtf

anyway. i hear u about your problem. why not just ask the first person you see when you get back home?

[(y/n) is typing...]

you want me to ask my cat??????

[yuji is typing...]

oh no not the cat, that feline is the devil himself im sure

the person delivering your food, ask them!!! maybe they'd be willing to give you a chance

[(y/n) is typing...]

hey!!!! :( dont be mean to sukuna :((

your maine coon curls up against you as you flop down on the couch with phone in hand, the other switching on the television with not much thought. your hand naturally strokes the cat's fur, jumping channels from one to the next in boredom as you wait for the delivery.

sukuna's purring carry on even when the doorbell is rung, accepting the food with a smile and careful hands. when you don't return, however, the cat perks up in curiosity, seeing the familiar twirl of your hair around your fingers as you engage in a conversation with the person at your door.

"so... is tomorrow okay?" you ask, tired of waiting for the perfect partner to come and sweep you off your feet. the other goes to answer, but sukuna interrupts before they can, hissing with the swishing of his bushy tail. it's as if he was a human himself, staring down at the delivery person despite the massive height difference.

"ah, s..sorry," you rush to place the food down, picking up the majestic cat into your arms to cradle him, "my cat's pretty aggressive to strangers."

"we could always reschedule it?" they say, shrugging their shoulders, "doesn't look like your cat wants me in the house if i were to come over tomorrow."

you smile apologetically, "'m sorry again."

they wave a hand, both in goodbye and dismissal of your apology for such a trivial thing.

the cat descends from your arms gracefully, walking off like he hadn't just cost you a future partner. as sukuna prances off, you roll your eyes at his dramatics, reaching for the food before finally settling down in front of the television again. at least now you had a purpose of going channel surfing.

it wasn't a very productive day, clocking out at an early 11pm to get ready for tomorrow. scrolling through social media was your favourite pastime, slotting in a bit of 'me' time before succumbing to sleep with sukuna snuggled up against your side. 

the next morning wasn't merciful; with its bright rays shining through the window and the annoying construction going on from across the street, you could almost feel your annoyance levels rising before you got the morning routine.

"she wanted to invite them into the house? thank god i swooped in before they could agree. what right do they have to hang with (y/n)?"

what's worse is there was murmuring just at the foot of your bed, the pacing of their footsteps deemed too loud by your groggy, grumpy self.

wait.

"who's there?!" your shout catches the attention of the male, hand pointing at the owner of the noisy-ass footsteps with fear.

his messy pink hair was enough to catch your attention, but the tattoos littered across his arms and face was enough to make you gasp. you keep your mouth shut when he looks you over with red eyes, meeting yours with a tilt of his head. it's a sukuna habit, even when he's a human.

"who... are you?"

"seriously?" he asks unimpressed, crossing his arms over his exposed chest.

"sukuna!" you jolt in surprise at your missing cat, "sukuna?"

there's genuine concern and confusion when you repeat his name for the third time, coming to terms that he might really be in front of you.

"s...ukuna?" you whisper in caution, inching towards him as he keeps his eyebrow raised at your clueless state. tracing your hand across his carefully drawn tattoos was the first thing you did before moving on to his unkempt pink hair and mouth, where he still possessed his canine teeth.

he recoils as part of instinct, an uncharacteristic blush appearing on his face.

you overlook his behaviour but instead groan, falling back into the bed behind you in panic from the situation you've just encountered. your head comes up to gaze at the other, frustrated that he hasn't gone away after slapping your face, blinking your eyes or even falling off the bed.

"fuck. so you're real then."

"tch, then what am i? am i not matter, a material that constitutes the observable universe and, together with energy, forms the basis of all objective phenomena?"

you blow a raspberry, "did you get that from my science notes? god, whatever, let's get you some clothes."

luckily, with your wide array of oversized shirts, you were able to dress him decently. despite your confusion, you still were very interested to know how he came to be in your small apartment. with a skilled hand, you brew some coffee for the both of you, handing him a steaming hot cup after a few minutes.

"i change every night," sukuna says nonchalantly, immediately spitting out the bitter drink in repulsion.

he makes a disgusted face, “what the fuck is this?”

you deadpan, "really? all over my floor?"

getting up, your hands reach for the paper towels to clean up the mess that your cat-turned-human made, cringing at the way the paper towel turns brown with the immediate soak-up.

“but this is the first time i’ve struggled to change back. i’m not sure how i do it normally, but jeez, drinking your goddamn coffee makes me wish i was a cat again.”

with each passing minute, he gets on your nerves and by now, he’s shoved the drink back to you. standing up, he stretches his muscles like how he usually does in the mornings, allowing for every part of his toned body to show itself.

there goes the annoyance...

"well, i can't say i'm not attracted either..." you mutter to yourself, gulping down the extra cup before placing them in the sink. the laptop you frequent makes its way onto your lap not so long later, bringing up a essay due in the next week. you decided to start early this time and made sure to pace yourself, trying to rule out the last minute rushes you always settled for.

an arm encircles around your waist, taking you by surprise when you let out a squeak. sukuna is nuzzling himself into your arm while you try to frantically delete the out-of-topic sentence that was making its way onto the word doc.

"what are you doing?"

"morning routine," he simply says, laying his tongue on you without any warning.

"oh god, sukuna, no!" you groan, pushing him away from his tight grip on you like he usually does when his body is propped against your chest. you've woken up too many times, struggling to breathe because of his weight.

he retreats reluctantly, really wishing he was a cat again as he grunts at your behaviour.

"have it your way," sukuna mumbles, his naturally grumpy self amplified by your rejection. you thought back to the times your maine coon normally sat beside you quietly, basking in the way your fingers typed on the keyboard.

what could be any different? plus, you'd have a reciprocation of your head pats.

there's a tug on the other's wrist, "you can lay. just no- no licking, okay?"

you almost scoff at the sukuna rolls his eyes, but his actions betray him anyways because he's laid down beside you, curling into your side as he places his head into your stomach.

the desktop's illumination shines brighter than the morning's rays, hypnotising sukuna into a slumber as you play with his hair.

you wouldn't have noticed the male if he hadn't introduced himself, but his brash personality matched your cat too closely, knowing you were the only one he'd show affection to despite the constant hissing and glares he sent to your friends.

a gentle grasp of his hand snaps you out of your thoughts, bringing back memories of the way he'll lay his paw on you, even during the first time where you met him in the animal shelter.

sukuna stays peaceful throughout his sleep, pink hair slowly becoming messier the more he cuddled into your person. he was content now, at least, as you read over the essay to correct any mistakes.

it lulls him in and out of consciousness, stuck between wanting to hear your tender voice and relishing being embraced in his sleep.

either way, he was positive he wanted to spend the rest of his cat (or human) life with you.

[theunikingdom]

KATTY! she/any pronouns

aroace lesbian, adhd and autistic , 18

my carrd !!!

NOTE: i have taken a long break from tumblr and wont be as active as i was before, but i'll check in sometimes. all of my intro was written before the break and it still stands, but its spoken as if im online frequently, which im not now. not that this account is Abandoned or anything i just use less social media.. ok carry on

im into a ton of different medias! i really like unikitty, splatoon, deltarune, and various animated series and games! i don't post about all of my interests and i avoid the fandom for some (but i might engage in them with mutuals or rb them from people i follow sometimes)

i actually don't post unikitty often cause i mostly reblog stuff and the fandom is DEAD!!!! also sometimes i get kinda gatekeepy and avoid the fandom for a while.... but it is dear to me and i might talk about it if we are friends ^_^

i keep most of my own art, edits, and other creations/interest related stuff to myself.. posting my own stuff wears me out but i still do sometimes

my art tag is #katty art. my other creations usually go under #my stuff . then theres also my art account!! if u wanna follow me for my art but not all the other stuff i rb, go here! @theunikingdomart

u can also read my carrd! some of it overlaps with what ive said here but whatever

DNI prosh1ppers, terfs and all that. also dni nsfw accounts and unifr*wn shippers, or you ship unikitty or puppycorn with eachother or anyone at all. hawkodile and eagleator shippers also gtfo they are brothers. if you ship unikitty from the lego movie with humans. also if youre under 13

i block very liberally

i try to write ids for all the art and images for my own posts! if i did not leave one, i either forgot (you can ask for one) or i did not know how to describe it/didnt have the energy (you can ask me and i will try again!)

REBLOGS > LIKES of my content!!! not to say dont like my art because you can, but reblogs keep me motivated to post so if you like my content and want me to keep posting... reblog!! its very appreciated!!!!

mutuals (17-19) can dm or ask for my discord. ill also join servers if you give me an invite!!!

[bigskycastle]

kinda personal ask but i was wondering (as an artist also posting their art on twt) how do you not have likes/rts amount to how you measure ur art? it gets kinda hard and ive been feeling self conscious about it lately so i was wondering if this is a normal thing or? either way i rlly respect you as an artist and i love the stuff you draw zelda or not!

thank you :-) it’s no worries, i’ll try and articulate this as best i can..

i think its incredibly easy to get pulled into thinking this way, and i do it way more often than i would like to :’)  like, objectively you know that likes/rt dont reflect the value of your art, but its still disheartening when you pull low numbers.. i think it’s because it feels almost as though your art was ignored or disregarded by people

but ultimately, social media is just... incredibly fickle n shallow lol. it will always favor content thats easy to digest/relate to. and thats fine! thats kind of what its built for. but it does make it very hard to get your foot in the door as an artist. esp if u don’t do much fanart :’) people don’t generally want to expend the energy it takes to engage with art, especially art thats more personal, or just like... “weird”. that's not even getting into the whole issue of being stuck in obscurity until someone with a larger following decides to share your stuff lol

all this to say.. like.. of course likes/rt dont reflect quality. if they're anything, they're more like.. like how views on a youtube video functions, i guess? if a video has more views, that generally means that: The Algorithm showed it to more people; that it has a flashy/intriguing thumbnail; and probably most importantly, that the content it advertises can appeal to a large demographic. its not a measure of its quality at all. i've watched super high quality niche documentaries and video essays etc., but because they have less mass appeal, they tend to sit below the 50k view threshold. its not a reflection of your value at all, its just a reflection of how well you can cater to what twitter as an..entity wants.

and i think i am pretty good at this! not cuz im such a phenomenal amazing artist, or cuz i try and pander or something, but because the way i draw and the things i enjoy drawing tend to line up pretty well with "what twitter wants”. in this sense im very lucky! i know many artists who genuinely ARE phenomenal and amazing but they might only draw, like, fanart of an obscure videogame from the early 2000s. doesnt make them less good, but you can see why they are less popular.

thats not to say that doing fanart will launch u into popularity or whatever tho. i mean, i posted fanart alongside OC on this blog since like 2016, and only in the past 1-2 years have i gotten much clout. i used to get super excited if any of my posts broke 20 notes. sometimes u just have to draw for yourself, improve your skills at your own pace and maybe hope someday people take notice of you i guess. but still, try to keep in mind that likes/rts dont really.. mean much. i think the thing they're most useful for is purely visibility, which can be useful in trying to get work.... SOMETIMES. (besides that, they're just good at making people irrationally distrust or hate you assuming youre some sort of.. i dont know.. rich industry pro and not a broke teenager lol)

(exhale) i hope this helps somehow lol it kind of turned into a rant about the things i dislike about posting art on socmed. if any other artists want to chip in and say something more coherent thatd be helpful LOL sorry anon. tldr: social media is fake and shallow, draw what makes you happy

[imagine-your-love-story]

Thank you for encouraging a safe space on Tumblr. It might seem like basic courtesy to leave people be, leave them their comfort and creative freedom, but apparently it's not. As someone who has very questionable self ship poly dynamics, it's.. nice not being scared of seeing "Don't interact if this- dont interact if that" and then in danger of harrassment.

Please keep spreading these vibes of comfort and love - you're a great person whom we need a lot more of in the world wide web

You're very welcome, lovely! :) :) :)

Hoo boy. I have...soooo many thoughts on like....ALL of this. And this post is gonna get LONG because I've opened the can of worms and I'm lettin' it all out :P

The amount of bullying and negativity I've seen in the selfshipping community lately is very painful and disappointing to watch. Tumblr and fandom has always been somewhat of a cesspool but I had hoped that selfshipping was a little better.

I'm not seeing a positive community on a large scale right now.

There are some people who are shining little stars out there of course! But there's more hate being spread around than I can stomach.

I've spent Y E A R S researching and unlearning and pushing back against the psychological and emotional effects of manipulative behaviors like: blame, guilt, shame, and harassment.

I absolutely 100000% believe you can speak to people civilly and state your reasons why you think their behavior is damaging. Without telling them, "You are wrong. You are a bad person." Or otherwise making them feel shitty about themselves.

And I also believe that you CAN allow that person to say, "I don't agree with what you're saying" and you can still have normal interactions with that person without immediately shunning them and labeling them as a terrible person.

People BLOSSOM when they are showered in love, acceptance, and understanding. People are MUCH more willing to listen and heed what you have to say when you give them SPACE to see your point of view (or disagree with you and still accept them).

This culture on social media where people jump STRAIGHT to, "You're a HORRIBLE person because you do something I disagree with!" is, frankly, horrifying and a little disgusting.

Does this mean I condone negative and damaging behaviors?

No. Absolutely not.

But there seems to be this loss of perspective on what is considered "negative and damaging behaviors".

1. It's fiction. Fiction has NEVER been "clean". It's a place of freedom to discuss EVERYTHING.

2. You don't have to feel comfortable with everything being discussed in fiction. I'm not. If I don't like a self-shipper's content because it hits some trigger buttons for me...I don't follow their blog. Because that's my boundary and I have every right to it.

Do I send them messages saying, "You're a toxic person!"

Nope.

Do I comment on their ship that they love and say, "This makes me uncomfortable!"

Nope.

It's not my business.

Also: it’s fiction and there are MUCH bigger problems that require my energy than whether or not I should correct someone’s fictional ship.

Go save the ocean.

Go save the rainforest.

Go save the planet you live and breath on.

Fiction should not be making you angry enough to send hate mail to someone else. Full stop. That should never ever be a priority.

3. Some people engage in selfshipping "negative behaviors" as a way to cope with their trauma. We have no idea what a person has been through and we have no right to tell them that they should stop what they're doing when we do not know where they are on their journey of healing.

It hurts my heart so, so much when I receive messages from selfshippers like you, dear anon, who are TERRIFIED to share their love stories with their characters because they're afraid of being labeled/attacked/harassed by the community.

That's the community letting you down. That should NOT be happening and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, lovely.

The ENTIRE point of selfshipping was to ESCAPE the people who criticized for shipping yourself with a character that you love. The foundation of selfshipping is that ANYTHING is possible!!! You are limitless!!!

And now people are policing what you can do??? That's...that completely obliterates the point of selfshipping. That's WHY we escaped to our own community!

I don't know if this video is available outside of the U.S., but I highly recommend, the Crappy Childhood Fairy's Youtube video on Cancel Culture. It's a great listen when you're navigating the emotional turmoil of social media culture.

So, if you're still reading after ALL OF THAT :P here are some key points about this blog and my philosophy when it comes to selfshipping:

This blog will always be a judgment free zone

Of course I have opinions! Of course we may disagree on something! But I won't judge you for it. You're allowed to do your own thang! ;)

I will never have a DNI.

If I feel an interaction is crossing into territory that isn't appropriate or acceptable, I'll say so. And if that doesn't work, I'll block and report. But I will never have a DNI on this blog.

Yes, I am an adult. So if minors don't feel comfortable following my blog, it's okay if they don't! I understand!

But I don't have a problem talking with minors because they are human beings and they may need support. I worked in Youth Services at a library for over two years. I know sometimes kids just want someone to talk about cool books and movies with and I'm 100% down for that 24/7 :)

Because this blog is all-ages friendly, I will never post 18+ content because - just like IRL - I make sure that I am mindful of the people around me. I may post some suggestive content that is tagged, but I try not to get too explicit.

I also don’t really think a DNI is necessary for me personally. Of course if I feel threatened by someone, I won’t interact with that person. But if a shipper is into content that I don’t like???? I don’t feel the need to say, “I will never interact with you!” That’s....exhausting. Besides, there are plenty of other things we can chat about! :)

I will always share f/os.

I know some people don't like to share and that's their boundary they can draw if they want to (no shade here!), but I've found that if I don't share, it's a very lonely experience. So I always share and I’m happy to interact if we have the same f/o :)

DMs are always open if you need a shoulder to lean on

If you need to dump or vent or whatever, my DMs will always be open so you can chat! It can feel weird, and maybe you'll feel bad because you won't know what to say!!!

That's okay :)

Even if all you want to do is vent and never reply, I'm happy to listen and offer any words of encouragement and support you need to hear! :)

[sugaredge]

I miss Frances and Isaiah, they were so cute.

i have conflicted emotions. i was never fond of him when they were together quite honestly, when the news broke they got married i knew it would end how it did, though i hoped it wouldn't. he started dating her when she was underage and he had a whole child. a one year old baby. plus he says frances was the one who proposed and being older (especially with a baby at home) he should've known better. it seemed like he got his in, plus frances was 19 when they were engaged, she was far too young to be a step mother, and after they were married she tweeted she wasnt having kids for many years as she still felt one herself. when they divorced he demanded so much in spousal support and when he didn't get that or the house he kept her dad's guitar to auction off. he caused the family hell.

it's unusual, he dyed his hair the same exact colours as kurt (bright red and light purple) and kept his hair and outfits similar to his. it's much more unsettling looking back. plus ever single tour he was on was through frances' connections (gerard way, frank iero, smashing pumpkins, the used). on his old facebook he admitted his clothes were stolen from goodwill or frances. though he was said to have surprised frances with all these wonderful gifts, it's clear he paid for them all with her trust fund, then claimed she spent too much (though she kinda did, but he also did). everything seemed opportunistic.

however i was on the eeries twitter the other day (it's still up), and isaiah tweeted on there. it's a rare glimpse into his personality, a little goofy with social commentary on misogyny and violence in media. he seemed like a well likeable guy. moreover it's clear he and frances had a lot in common in terms of music, movies, books, comics, tv shows and art. and her friends liked him (though i guess they had too, with the exception of courtney, who despite trying to have a relationship with him was always weary of him). he supported her education, art and music. and photos of them are very sweet. she was very clearly in love. but he turned very bitter with the divorce. if he truly respected her, and if he actually loved her he wouldn't have tried milking her for money. i know he has a child to support but he also has another parent to raise her with, as well as his family, ultimately his kid is his responsibility. he never needed money from her. he never needed to paint her as a crazy rich kid drug addict hoarder that he did everything he could to save. however his attempts to slander her name was shortlived as his refusal to return kurt's guitar made him the most hated guy in america, the eeries twitter was flooded with comments under every post telling him how horrible he is and to return the guitar. i dont think he could go many places without being harrassed by a nirvana fan anymore. he totally screwed himself all for money.

looking back at pics, old facebook exchanges, if you're in the moment it's very cute lovebirds sharing their life together. my old laptop died and i cannot anywhere find the pics of isaiah and frances making forts in their room to stay and read in, things like that are so cute (sometimes i do wonder who was thirdwheeling taking all these pics of them kissing, or in their house or at family gatherings together). but adding any kind of context, rationality or hindsight, it seems totally predatory to me. he didnt even wait for her to be of age he got his talons in right away. it's creepy. eerie is a fitting band name. if he was smart (and if his band was any good) he should've committed to growing his band and having a quiet divorce when frances filed, then maybe he wouldn't be so disliked.

i also often think of how different frances was with him. though she's a very goofy and affectionate person, her twitter made her seem rather misanthropic, then she had a transitional period of indulging in herself, her own interests and building a life outside of him, before dating matt and becoming much more 'wholesome', approachable and having this aura of bubbly, loving energy, she seemed so much more youthful. she's since closed her life off, disabled tagging, disabled comments, deleted social media accounts, no longer opening herself up to the world, which i do respect, though it means i have to post a lot of old content to keep this blog afloat.

isaiah being older perhaps she had to appear much more wiser, mature and standoffish, though it's partially youthful angst, there was this need to prove herself, and she isolated herself so much from everyone else. it seemed to hinder her growth. i also think being a teenager around older couples in their 30s who met their 'soulmate' and had these great romantic stories, of which frances had even tweeted about (gerard and lindsey and the al columbia comic), added to this fantasy that this guy she met at 17 was the love of her life and she had to marry him. i think her friends were good people and trusted her decisions but perhaps they should've told her to slowdown a little.

i think photos of isaiah and frances were cute, and frances gushing over someone she loved was cute. wanting to share that love with the world was cute. i think the situation and how it started and ended, wasn't. it was a naive love. and i'm sorry she has been so troubled because of it. her music seems to be about him. i wonder if those older tracks make the album or if she completely chooses to leave him in the past.

[lunasaturnine]

just a little racial processing

i am white and i have racism ingrained pretty deeply, not in that i dislike black people or other races but in that i really do fr think of white ppl as being the default, and what i do to combat that in my own life is i sit on social media and i stare at and like and reblog pics of black people because i want to change my perception because my perception is SMALL. i especially do this with pics of black people doing super normal things bc i feel like they are really exoticized in the media, either as hooligans or hard-living heroes... instead of just normal people enjoying freedom and prosperity, learning things, etc. i know that black ppl have unique stories and normalcy for them doesnt always match normalcy for white ppl but basic human things are really important to see. 

i have also become more aware of the concept of generational wealth and how black ppl were all set up to start building it after slavery until the jim crow laws came around and strangled that possibility. i have NOT been PROACTIVE or ACTIVE about any of this but at least i am Aware of it. i do not make any conscious efforts to support black small businessppl over others but i really think that is because that isnt an area that gets a lot of my attention in general, bc im kind of overwhelmed by consumerism and i dont have a clear idea of whats going on with my own money and buying deliberately intimidates me. buying purposefully from black owned businesses is always something i think im going to do more of in the future haha.

but also, in my consuming images/content/whatever passively on social media, the idea of wealth and generational wealth being important specifically to black people (less so to white ppl, so many of whom have it...not all but so many including my mom’s family...NOT my dad’s at all but totally my moms) has made it so i consume w/ interest and support media where black people are talking about money and financial literacy and entrepreneurship. that is an area i view as a different lens from how i view the same topic with white people. #blackownedbusiness is a really powerful concept and i feel responsibility as a consumer to support it, but i havent really yet.

i feel like my perspective is basically pretty balanced. i know how it feels to be racist in the passive, ignorant way and i know how it feels for education to change my perspectives. i get it when black people say they just want to live and they dont want to explain themselves over and over, that they’re not white people’s teachers. i have heard them ask white people to step up and do that. so that is something i have done a LITTLE of. i am better at communicating than buying, i am like quite good at it. like when i worked for a coffee shop i was SO good at harmonizing w/ petty customers b/c i sort of am a petty customer lol. so i feel like that is a role i can step into and excel in... helping ignorant white people learn. i feel like my voice is uniquely harmonious and nonaccusatory.

im not interested in converting majorly racist people. there are MORE just passively racist ppl, and they’re more dangerous in some ways, and also they’re way easier for me personally to work with. i dont have the everyday exhaustion of dealing with ppl’s ignorance so i have leftover energy to engage with it directly. 

i think that racism and otherism is at the core of all the wounds in the world right now. there are leftover tribal fears that have never been worked through, all over the world. in america of course there are all kinds of different racisms but the main one is black ppl vs white ppl. 

1. black ppl are formerly enslaved so that’s hard for white people to deal with in the first place b/c it’s hard to deal with your own bad karma, it’s hard to face the fact that you live well because you subjugated humans (you as a social group, not personally... although of course many things in my life are good becasue of the benefits to my ancestors and my social group). honestly, slaveholder/colonialist karma is nasty. it’s trauma...it’s its own kind of trauma. im not saying slaveowner/colonialist people should be thought of as innocent victims bc they are traumatized bc of the shitty thing they did. im just describing the situation... they have fucked up stuff that needs safe processing as well, we are all connected and when we hurt others, we also hurt ourselves.

2. black people are visibly different from white ppl moreso than other races are (thats a generalization but, idk skin is a large and very visible organ and pigment is really visible and it’s easier to visually “otherize” ppl for being dark, also hair texture is very visible) so they are very easy to “code” as “other.” physical responses are very base and subconscious and the body learns them, so it’s super easy for the body to develop prejudices b/c of social behavior, and then the mind just goes ahead and encodes them like it always does lol. going off of this point, i recentlyish (march) started listening to nina simone... this is how fucking ignorant i am, she is basically the first black person to artistically touch me deeply and directly (aside from victor wooten’s book). and she is so black, like very very dark, and all of her facial features are distinctive to black people. and to hear her state plainly that she thinks black people are the most beautiful people in the world ... also to see her face saying that... it helps my body unlearn things. on the one hand it sucks that we have prejudice in our society so engrained that literally someone’s face can be an act of defiance. on the other hand, holy shit, how amazing is it that someone’s radiant fucking face can have the power to heal social wounds. not totally heal, but contribute to them. 

3. LBJ and fucking nixon and all of those assholes, all of these fucking laws, law enforcers, government planted conspiracy theories in place to keep white people hatig black people and perceiving them as criminals, and also, strangling black people’s efforts at gaining wealth and grounding themselves in society so so much energy had to get redirected into shitty unrewarding labor and also crime (though crime rates have been exaggerated) like... and then the deliberate assassination of ALL the black builders of self esteem in the 60s 70s (80s?)... racist forces have been AT! WORK! HARD AT FUCKING WORK! FOR A WHILE! so of course we have racist wounds bc they were NOT fucking worked through after the civil war and in fact they were like nursed open and made to be infected because the stupid ass government thought racism was necessary for society to run. on the one hand, that SUCKS and it’s SHITTY.....

.............On the other hand it’s the most hopeful thing EVER.... because they  worked so hard to keep us apart from each other. like really hard. do u know what that means?

--A. it’s a justification that humanity and brotherhood is powerful as. fuck.

--B. it’s an acknowledgment that ... people have to work really hard to keep us the fuck apart from each other. really hard.

the internet is going to make it impossible for us to keep hating each other. things are going to happen and they are going to be good. but we have to do it, we have to inhabit it. we have to be present for and communicative of the changes that happen inside us, so others can see it and harmonize. harmonization makes things louder.

hmmmmmm.

[flying-elliska]

Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions. 

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one. 

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example :  one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work. 

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do. 

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame. 

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand. 

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor. 

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

[empty-altars]

If you have the time/energy/motivation, could you elaborate on ur view of the difference of 1D vs other boy bands specially in context of social media developments? I’m very interested in that and it sounds like u have some very interesting thoughts/theories on that. And maybe about how the boys relationships with sm changed?

Oh man, okay. So first you have to remember in the heyday of BSB/NSYNC we really didnt have sm to speak of. There were fansites through geocities (omggg there was midi music that auto played and they were SO UGLY lmao) and message boards and we shared fic through *checks notes* Yahoo groups. Yes. We shared fic through email. (I was probs too young to be reading or writing that content but uh no one was checking IDs and I was an accomplished liar by this point lol)

Any information about the group was gained through press releases and scheduled interviews and teen magazines like Tiger Beat and Bop. It was very, very curated. Their squeaky clean reputations were easy to control. Also their personal relationships. The only ones who had visible relationships were Justin (promoship with Britney), Lance (bearding with Danielle Fishel) and AJ (promoship with the lead singer of some girlband they tried to push from the same label whose name escapes me at the moment).

Sound familiar? What they didn't have was visible relationships with regular girls. Joey was in a longterm relationship with a noncelebrity and had a baby with her (and later married her after the band announced "hiatus") and NO ONE KNEW SHE EXISTED. Remaining visibly single to fans was important.

Sorry, that's beside the point lol. But I keep pointing it out because it's WEIRD. And raises valid questions about why. (I mean, we KNOW why, but it's something that gets ignored a lot)

So. Then you have 1D. And Twitter was coming into it's own by that point and you had a platform that reached a whole bunch of fans at once and they could share their experiences/excitement immediately with a whole bunch of people and create this huge community of fans. And the boys could speak to fandom directly! And make cute funny videos! And answer questions! And basically fan engagement became this whole other level, making fans feel like they KNEW these guys in a way that had never really been done before. It was a total game changer for fandom.

Obviously, smm eventually stepped in and started controlling the flow of information and fan engagement, but in the beginning before it got massive, it wasn't controlled. And we know that their accounts later got used to push official narratives (I have a theory that the reason Liam typed like he did back then was a small rebellion to make it harder for a smm to impersonate him) and they did not enjoy that but I also think they didn't enjoy how invasive it was at times too. Pretending to be open and available at all times while also toeing the party line and not revealing too much has to be exhausting.

So now we get different relationships with sm. Harry's is very carefully curated, Niall's is used only to promote things (while still engaging fans on a one to one basis), Louis' is very much about showing that he and his fans are a team and in this together, Liam has pulled back a LOT on fan engagement in the last year (I kinda wonder if that's because he only gets asked abt his album and bear and doesn't want to answer those questions) but still appears to let fans see behind the scenes (in official videos which is kind of unique and I dont hate it - Liam has always been very good at seeming like he's giving an all access pass without revealing much of anything that he doesn't want revealed) and Zayn basically left everything to a smm until he didn't have one anymore. I don't think he likes sm very much and with the abuse that's been heaped on him from it, I don't blame him one bit.

I don't know that any of this MEANS anything, but I find it interesting how each of them appears to have found a way to cope with sm that's distinctly unique to them.

(and as always, these are just my opinions/observations and ymmv)