#actually thats a lie i want him to actually be my dad but im trying to get to gratitude

[tinylittlecubby]

Mistakes Ive Made Post 2022

Getting distracted by watching content (poor time management)

Irregular sleep schedule (poor time management/poor energy management)

Poor dietary choices (poor financial management/poor time management)

Not doing homework or studying (poor emotional regulation/poor time management/poor focus/poor concentration/not asking for help from teachers or tutors)

Mal adaptive daydreaming (poor emotional regulation/poor time management/contributes to depressive symptoms)

Not planning out week on sundays and instead taking it day by day (poor time management/poor planning)

Lack of consistency due to fluctuating energy and not enforcing social boundaries (poor energy management/poor time management/poor communication)

Being emotionally intimidated by tasks and therefore not breaking them down into smaller chunks ahead of time and completing them chunk by chunk

Spending a lot of time on social media platforms like reddit and twitter that do not add to my emotional goals of inspiration and motivation (vs how in highschool i spent a lot of time being inspired through tumblr and youtube primarily) (poor emotional regulation/poor time management/poor energy management)

Not journaling nearly as often as I used to in order to regulate my emotions and to celebrate my successes (poor emotional regulation)

Focusing on money too much and getting distracted and trying to get jobs and engage in employment development programs (lack of focus/lack of concentration/poor material conditions/poor financial management)

I currently do not have a mentor that is teaching or encouraging me (poor social connection)

I dont dance or sing for fun as much anymore ever since getting sick (poor creative engagement/poor emotional regulation)

weak moral goal compared to goal alignment in highschool (poor emotional regulation and clarity)

Poor understanding of what needs to be sacrificed in order to achieve the appropriate goals (poor planning/poor emotional regulation)

Smoking weed regularly (substance abuse/poor emotional management)

[bl00dh0rs3]

Am i. Emotionally unavailable?

[whyse7vn]

I’M SORRY -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JUNGKOOK -

jk: i’m sorry

jk: didn’t mean to make you upset :(

i hope i die

i should get jumped

barely survive

be on life support until i’m 50

and when i wake up die from the most painful heart attack recorded

i hope no one attends my funeral and i’m publicly and privately made fun of even after i’ve passed

hope my parents are ashamed and i hope that whenever the name jungkook is said people feel sick to their stomachs

i’m gonna throw up

gonna choke myself to death

i have the tightest grip on my throat rn

i’m going red

it’s fading to black

i’m sorry i wasn’t being a good boyfriend

tell bam that his dad was an asshole who didn’t deserve any rights

don’t even let him remember me as his father

i don’t deserve that title

i don’t deserve anything

not after what i did

burn all my clothes

delete all my pictures

tear my face off all posters

cross my name off all paperwork

i am not worthy of anything

y/n: shut up

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: i can tell

jk: i didn’t mean it

y/n: i forgive you

jk: really?

y/n: yeah

jk: do you really or are joking?

if ur joking it’s not a funny joke

y/n: you can come back home now

jk: really 🥺?

y/n: don’t ever use that emoji again

jk: sorry

i’m coming

omw

i love you

this is so great

y/n: you’re so dramatic

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: stop apologising

jk: sorry

i mean

ok

love u

y/n: hurry up

jk: 🏃‍♂️

SEOKJIN -

jin: can you talk to me now

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

i’m going to kms and it gonna be all your fault if you don’t reply to me

y/n: record it

jin: hey loml 😘😘❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗

WAIT WTF

THATS SO SICK?/?:£:££.&.&.&&.

y/n: what do you want?

jin: i love you ❤️💓🩷

y/n: bye

jin: WAITTTT :(((((((((((((((

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

y/n: what

jin: i’m outside 🤭🤗❤️

y/n: stay outside

jin: am i a dog?????

DON’T ANSWER THAT

anyways

i’ve come to see you princess 😘❤️‍🔥

y/n: gross

go home

jin: i am home 🥺

y/n: ur at MY home

jin: tu casa es mi casa 😚

y/n: that is not how that phrase goes

jin: let me inside pookie it’s cold 😍

y/n: you should have a key if it’s ur house

jin: LET ME IN IM TRYING SOSOSOSO HARD

FUCK YOU

ITS COLD

MY HAIR IS WET

IM DISTRESSED

LET ME INNNNNNNN

y/n: it took you 3 minutes

to be an asshole again

jin: :((((

i really tried that time

i can’t help it

this is real this is me

i was born this way

you can’t change me

ur the asshole if we think about it why are you trying to change people?? let the world know you LOSER

y/n: fyi you can stay outside

jin: PLS NOOOO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

y/n: “pls” doesn’t really sound like sorry to me…

jin: I SAID IM SORRY

I DIDN’T MEAN TO SHOUTT

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY

i love you

this is kinda sadistic if you think about it

didn’t know you was a freak like that bae

it’s okay i kinda like it

how about you let me in now

or do you want me to beg more???

pls oh plsssss let me in 🥺

i’ll never be mean again i promise 😇

pls 😚

hello??

babe??????

fr this isn’t funny

hello

HELLO

OPEN THE DOOR PLS

HELLLOOOO

OMH

HELLLLO

pls

i’m fr sorry

i mean it like genuinely

hello

…

okay let’s stop now

…………..

HELLLLO

fuck you

HOSEOK -

hobi: this fighting stuff kinda boring now

….

hello

i’m sorry

BOOOO

:(((

y/n: you can’t just walk out the house mid argument

hobi: in my defence u were being mean

y/n: so were you???

hobi: ??

y/n: be honest are you fr gonna just leave like that when things get hard?

hobi: i mean i might

y/n: …

hobi: things were pretty hard

y/n: AS MAN OF THE HOUSE YOU SHOULD OF GOT RID OF THE SPIDER

hobi: AS A FEMINIST I LEFT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF IT TO HELP YOU FEEL EMPOWERED

y/n: fuck you don’t come home

hobi: i would never lie to u bae 🙏🏼

and i would never suppress a moment for a woman to feel empowered

y/n: don’t actually fucking speak to me

hobi: ily

cheer up baby cheer up baby

y/n: picked the wrong member

jungkook would of helped me

hobi: omg????????

are you fr?

y/n: would never lie to you bae 🙏🏽

hobi: ….

JIMIN -

jimin:

y/n: ???

jimin: are you still mad at me?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: do you want to have sex?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: love you

y/n: whatever

jimin: say it back

y/n: i won’t

jimin: you will

y/n: definitely will not

jimin: i’ll sing for you

y/n: no thanks

jimin: no thanks?

y/n: no thanks.

jimin: you say that like i’m bad at singing

y/n: eh

jimin: eh?

y/n: eh.

jimin: i won’t have sex with you

y/n: aw man

jimin: don’t sound too sad

y/n: ok

jimin: you should be

y/n: i’m not

jimin: i go crazy in bed yk?

y/n: that is the ugliest thing you have ever said to me

jimin: if ur not in love with me just say that

y/n: i won’t

jimin: so ur IN love with me is what i’m hearing

y/n: ur not hearing anything cuz we are messaging rn

jimin: can you just tell me you love me like a normal person?

y/n: you don’t deserve it

jimin: okay maybe that’s true

but you should do it just once

pretty pls with a cherry on top 🥺

y/n: i’ll punch you

jimin: maybe i’ll enjoy it

y/n: nasty

jimin: kiss me

y/n: where are you?

jimin: ur really gonna kiss me?

y/n: ur talking long to tell me where you are so ig i’m not

jimin: joon’s studio

y/n: maybe i’m omw

jimin: ur so in love with me it’s kinda gross 🤭

YOONGI -

yoongi: :3

y/n: die tbh

yoongi: :3

y/n: your stupid faces mean nothing to me

yoongi: :3

y/n: …

yoongi: :33333

y/n: i hate you

yoongi: :Ɛ

y/n: ew wtf how did you do that

yoongi: Ɛ:

y/n: stop omg

yoongi: i’m sorry :3

y/n: cool

yoongi: i’m fr :3

y/n: idc :3

yoongi: you used the face :3

ur not mad :3

y/n: ur logic is wrong

yoongi: bring the face back :3

and it’s not logic it’s common sense :3

y/n: ur wrong

yoongi: never been wrong a day in my life :3

y/n: that’s crazy

so when you shouted at me for no reason you weren’t in the wrong?

good to know

yoongi: okay i never said that :3

y/n: but you did

yoongi: ur being annoying :3

y/n: fuck you

DID YOU JUST SEND ME 10K?????????

yoongi: did i? :3

y/n: you can’t just buy my forgiveness

yoongi: i can’t? :3

y/n: this is not how relationships work yoongi

yoongi: this is how our relationship works :3

y/n: no it’s not

STOP SENDING ME MONEY OMG?:£:£:’

yoongi: :3

y/n: you are still not forgiven leave me alone

yoongi: unforgiven i’m a villain :3

y/n: SEND ANOTHER 10k AND UR GETTING BLOCKED

yoongi: ur making me real upset rn :3

y/n: go back to work

yoongi: stop being mad at me :3

y/n: die

yoongi: don’t say that i’m about to get on a plane :3

y/n: now i feel bad

yoongi: say sorry :3

y/n: nvm

yoongi: :(

look you’ve made me change faces hope you feel bad :(

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: ur sick and twisted :(

y/n: cry about it

yoongi: really hope i survive this plane ride :(

y/n: i will not be guilt tripped by you

yoongi: you told me to die knowing i was getting on a plane :(

y/n: bye

yoongi: what if i had a deep deep fear of flying and u made that fear 10x worse rn :(

y/n: you don’t

yoongi: you don’t know a thing :(

y/n: fuck you

yoongi: do you really want ur last words to me be fuck you :(

y/n: fly safe

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: no

tae: hiiiiiiii

wtf how did you know

y/n: blocked

tae: NONONONONONO

y/n: you have one minute

go

tae: i am walking alone rn

y/n: ???

tae: on the street

y/n: ok?

tae: alone

y/n: you said that

tae: ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: right

tae: it’s not right actually

ITS VERY FAR FROM RIGHT

i’m ALONE

do you know what could happen to me rn?

i could literally be snatched up off the street by anyone

y/n: hopefully it’s a rehabilitation centre 🙏🏽

tae: WHAG IS UR PROBLEM

IM ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE

ME

KIM TAEHYUNG ALONE ON THE STREET

WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING HERE?

y/n: ur one minute is up

tae: no it’s not

can you pls care for me rn i’m stressed out

y/n: it was pretty stressful when you stood me up yesterday

but i powered through 💪🏽

i’m sure you can do the same!!!

tae: that never happened

pls let’s pretend that never happened

i’m the perfect boyfriend i swear

y/n: get lost

like actually

never come back

tae: 😢

you don’t even mean that

y/n: are you sure?

tae: IM SORRY PLS PLSPLSSSSSS

forgive me

y/n: no

tae: you can have my card

y/n: don’t want it

tae: take my house

i’ll give you my keys rn

y/n: i have ur keys

tae: you do?

you thief omg

give them back

y/n: you left them here???

after YOU stormed out my house after you made ME upset

tae: oh yeah

i’m coming back now

y/n: asshole

tae: let’s put this behind us and move on

that’s a great idea i say

y/n: you are single

tae: don’t say that

y/n: said it

tae: we are actually engaged and expecting our 10th child

y/n: you are single

tae: top 10 singles

made a few of those in my time

LOL

i’m funny right

say i’m funny

y/n: it’s painful talking to you

tae: painfully in love with me are you?

y/n: it’s like i’m taking to a brick wall

you have like selective hearing

tae: what i’m hearing is you want to kiss me on the lips?

y/n: call an ambulance

tae: feeling so much love for me ur throwing up?

???

hello

oh

ok

maybe i do deserve this

NAMJOON -

y/n: would you now like to explain why the hell you sent halsey flowers on MY birthday??

namjoon: it wasn’t just on ur birthday i’ve been sending them all week for like a month now

y/n: namjoon what the fuck??

namjoon: i’m confused

y/n: UR confused????

do you like her or something?

namjoon: ofc i like her!

y/n: so ur cheating?

namjoon: what

y/n: ur cheating on me and you have no shame???

what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

namjoon: i’m not cheating?

y/n: for a month now you’ve been sending another girl that you like flowers

EVERY WEEK???

namjoon: every friday

y/n: fuck you

namjoon: i’m confused how that’s cheating when you told me to do that?

y/n: WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID “OH NAMJOON SEND OTHER BITCHES FLOWERS”

namjoon: you literally said you loved how halsey’s bf gave her flowers every week and that you wished i did that?

y/n: ….

there is no way

….

namjoon

oh my god

kim fucking namjoon

LMAOOSO ARE YOU FR?

namjoon: what??? i’m so confused pls tell me what i did wrong

i would never cheat on you

ur freaking me out

y/n: think about it

why would i wish you sent halsey flowers?

think

like really think

namjoon: IDK i was confused as hell but you seemed like you really wanted me to

so i did

y/n: i meant i wanted you to buy ME flowers you idiot omg

namjoon: oh

that makes a lot more sense

y/n: yeah

you are the dumbest smart man i’ve ever met

namjoon: my fault

i get confused sometimes 😞

y/n: i love you

namjoon: i love you too

ur not mad anymore?

y/n: could never be mad at you silly

[mars-wuz-herez]

Here are some theory's I think might happen in the movie. Nothing real! Just my take on things.

(Skip if you don't wanna read it)

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3:

This is a floating theory amoung the internet but it's also what I think might happen

Sonic is introduced to Shadow at the house. The only people who are there are Sonic and Tails. (Tom and Maddie are out of the house)

They fight, Shadow immediately knocking Tails out

The house getting more destroyed than it already is

Shadow seems to be looking for someone but when he can't find them he chaos controls away.

Sonic and Tails are confused and they know that he must be involved with Eggman in some way and now they have to stop them both.

They go on the adventure and Tom tags along

Now at some point in the movie they will probaly invade some military base and learn more about Project Shadow

While Tails and Sonic are looking around Tom is somewhere else looking through files. There he sees a young girls name and the soldier who killed her

When he sees the name is face might go wide but immediatly hides the file and joins Sonic and Tails (maybe Knuckles I dont really know)

Then later in the movie Shadow might say: "You'll pay for everything you've done" and Sonic might respond "I dont even know you that well what are you talking about?" Shadow will then say, "I'm not talking to you im talking to him" and then points at Tom

Sonic is genuinely confused and Eggman comes from his flying robot or something and says "Oh you don't know?"

Eggman or Shadow will tell Sonic about Maria and how she was killed and who killed her, Tom's dad.

Sonic will deny it and when he looks to Tom, he will have a guilty look on his face, indicating he already knew

Fast foward and everyone saves everything

Now here are my two takes on how the movie would end

If Shadow falls from Space:

Tom and Maddie would say it's time to go home but Sonic will stop in his tracks

He will say that it hurt him how Tom didn't tell him and how he lied

It hurt how he lied, and Sonic really did think of him as a dad.

Tom will try to apologize but Sonic would want some time to think about everything.

He would leave home and probaly not go back until whatever show is next

Tails would most likely go with Sonic, as he came to earth in the first place to help Sonic

Knuckles would see Tom's lie as dishonorable and would leave as well probaly staying with Wade

Here is my other take:

If Shadow didn't fall

The same things from prev would happen

Sonic would leave home and not plan to return for a while

If Shadow is still alive and with him, Sonic would show him the beauty of Earth

Sonic would show Shadow what Maria wanted him to protect

Thats all! Remember just theories! I don't if this would actually happen.

Let me know what you think

[ijustreallylikepirates]

DCASE20 !!!

-“this episode has sensitive topics” that’s not concerning at all odd nation cartoons not concerning at all

-TEAM JAKE LETS GO

-yall don’t wanna hear me cheering for Jake rn

-bruh Emily stop dragging Trevor like that

-EMILY WTH ARE YOU DOING

-WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO THROW TREVOR OFF THE CLIFF???

-bruh Emily I can’t like you girl

-Ally and Jake actually getting along what a miracle

-Riya you don’t deserve that fucking breakfast

-NO WHAT

-JAKE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF???

-POOKIE WHY

-“very sus of you to say Riya” EEWWWWW

-I can’t stand Riya

-TJ I SEE YOU

-WE LOVE YOU TOMJAKE FANKID

-Riya having a tiny fanbase is wild 💀

-Jake having the biggest fanbase is so iconic

-THE JAKE CHEER???

-LET ME GET IN ON THAT

-LET THEM DO THE FUCKING JAKE CHEER OML

-YEAH JAKE WE LOVE YOU

-OH YEAH ROMAN COLOSSEUM

-WE LIVE WE LOVE WE LIE

- LMAO ALLY GETTING CUT OFF WITH THE BAG IM GONE

-AW DEREK REMINISCING ON HIS TIME WITH TREVOR IN SEASON ONE

-TREVEK PARALLEL???

-I’m so normal about them (I’m not)

-NOT TREVOR IN THE FUCKING TREE IM DEAD

-“aw son of a bi…scuit” you’re gay

-I just made up a trevek kiss chant

-yall definitely don’t want to hear it

-FIORE IN A BUN THATS SO CUTE

-“watch it 😡” eat him up girl pls i hate you too but keep humbling him for your dad

-“I love walking across shaky planks 😅😰” LMAOOO

-the romantic tension between Riya and Yul is insane

-YAY

-I LOVE WHEN YUL FALLS DOWN FROM GREAT HEIGHTS

-what happened to Yul’s burn did shit just disappear???

-YEAH JAKE YOU EAT

-Emily

-the sigh that I just sighed rn is insane

-“my nails are getting callouses 😩😡” are you sure you’re straight honey

-no way these two are just fighting like children rn

-this challenge is giving season 1 finale

-THERE WERENT SUPPOSED TO HE SCORPIONS???

-I’m gonna hunt Emily down

-PLEASE

-PLEASE GET RIYA OUT

-THE WAY YUL SCREAMS MAKES ME GIGGLE I CANT DO IT

-ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY

-why are these two still running with their arms up like npcs wtf

-yul why the fuck did you jinx that

-JAKE???

-JAKE ISTG

-TREVOR AND DEREK THE ICONS

-ICONIC DUO

-EW DEREK THAT LAUGH

-Emily go away stop being a bitch for two seconds

-“and I love him” THE GAYS THE SILLIES THE HOMOSEXUALS

-DEREK LOVES HIM TOO HE BLUSHED HE LIKED THAT KISS

-AW YEAH JAKE YOU GOT THIS

-YEAH GRAN EMILY TAKE HER AWAY

-AW WERE TREVOR AND DEREK HOLDING HANDS

-PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET RIYA OUT

-IM BEGGING PLEASEEEEEE

-Ally you eat

-I love you girl keep slaying

-JAKE NO

-I HAD FAITH IN YOU DUDE

-I BELIEVED IN YOU

-COME ON HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

-JAIDEN I LOVE THEM

-ALLY THANK YOU FOR LOSING YOUR GEMS

-JAKE I BELIEVE IN YOU STILL

-LETS GO JAKE

-WE WONNN

-TREVOR DEREK KISS RN

-AW THEYRE HOLDING HANDS THE SILLIES ILL EXPLODE RN

-KRISTAL YOU BITCH THEY WERE ABOUT TO KISS

I LOVED THIS EPISODE

JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE

TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK TREVEK

TEAM JAKE COME ON JAKE LETS GO

[underworld-park-offical]

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: You

TWEEK: Mister

TWEEK: Tinfoil

TWEEK: Hat

TWEEK: Guy

KENNY: Stan

TWEEK:  What

KENNY: His names Stan

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: I'm not gonna remember that

TWEEK: You said you had

TWEEK: Like

TWEEK: A bunker

TWEEK: Right?

STAN: Yeah

CRAIG: Dog shit covered ahhh barn 💀

TWEEK: Why is he saying Skull emoji out loud

TOLKIEN: Not even WE know at this point

KYLE: We gotta get him to stop that

KYLE: It's more annoying than KYLE: ….Whatever….. Stan's got going on

CRAIG: Omg not you slandering me 💀

CRAIG: Don't even rn you look like the Goodwill shat you out

KYLE: Fuck you

KYLE: You know that Supreme hoodie isn't even real Supreme, right?

CRAIG: Lmao what

CRAIG: Me when I lie

KYLE: Nonononono

KYLE: Look look look

KYLE: It says “Souprem”

KYLE: It's fake merch dude

KYLE: Its as fake as those fucking yeezys

CRAIG: ….

KYLE: …Dude?

CRAIG: No that's my other hoodie

KYLE: Are you fucking serious

KYLE: You aren't even rich stop acting like you are

CRAIG: Nuh uh

KYLE: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH????

TOLKIEN: Kyle, just give it up

TOLKIEN: Trying to convince Craig he isn't rich is like trying to convince a toddler to wipe their own ass

TOLKIEN: It's not worth it

CLYDE: …. CLYDE: Why do I feel like that was directed towards me?

TOLKIEN: Because It was, Clyde

CLYDE: OH COME ON I WASH MY OWN ASS

TOLKIEN: NO THE FUCK YOU DO NOT YOU SMELL LIKE A TACO BELL CLYDE: FUCK YOU CLYDE: AT LEAST TWEEK LIKES ME TOLKIEN: OH SURE SURE SURE TOLKIEN: TWEEK DOESN'T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU TOLKIEN: THERE'S NO WAY SOMEONE LIKE TWEEK WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GO AFTER YOU, YOU FUCKING TESTOSTERONE FUELED SHITSTAN

CLYDE: THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING I'M TRANS BUT FUCK YOU FOR INSULTING ME

TOLKIEN: YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, FUCK YOU TOO

CLYDE: YOU KNOW WHAT?? I BET YOU 30 BUCKS I CAN PULL IN TWEEK WITH MY MANLY AWESOMENESS

TOLKIEN: I BET YOU A MILLION DOLLARS YOU CAN'T

CLYDE: FINE

TOLKIEN: FINE

CLYDE: LETS FUCKING GO

CLYDE: I'LL ASK OUT TWEEK AND IT'LL BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER

STAN: Hmmm

STAN: At my barn we could like

STAN: Use my dad and my sister

STAN: As like

STAN: Food

KYLE: Dude no

KYLE: I am not resorting to cannibalism

CARTMAN: Kahl, you’ve eaten animals, that's basically like eating people

KYLE: Okay mr “forty big macs in one day”

CARTMAN: Uhm, actually they're vegan chicken patties KYLE

CARTMAN: ALSO did you just ASSUME my GENDER????

CARTMAN: YOU ARE GETTING C A N C E L L E D

CARTMAN: I WANT A TEAR RIDDEN UKELELE FILLED APOLOGY RIGHT NOW

KYLE: Oh my GODDDDD

KENNY: Actually studies show that most human meat is similar taste wise to chicken

CRAIG: I thought it was pork

CRAIG: Like

CRAIG: Deadass

CRAIG: Like pigs

CRAIG: Like deadass pigs

KENNY: We know what pork is CRAIG 

STAN: Yeah

STAN: So we’re fucking set

CARTMAN: Uhhh no thanks, i’d rather be one with the animals and eat dirt and hay

STAN: We don't even have animals

CARTMAN: I’ll just eat the weed then

STAN: What

KENNY: What

KYLE: What

CRAIG: LMAOOOOOOO IM DEADDDDDDD 💀 💀 💀 

CARTMAN: What???

CARTMAN: It's like eating catnip

CARTMAN: Besides its environmentally friendly

STAN: What's your source

CARTMAN: Wikipedia

STAN: Ooooof course it is

STAN: The internets lying to you, you know

CARTMAN: Fuck off, Stan, Queermo

STAN: IM TELLING THE TRUTH HERE

TWEEK: HhhhuGiyhvfdeiohjd

TWEEK: OKay

TWEEK: Cool

TWEEK: We’re set on a TOTALLY ANONYMOUS LOCATION

TWEEK: Awesome

TWEEK: Great

TWEEK: Dandy even!

TWEEK: Everyone

TWEEK: Lets hold hands

CRAIG: I am not touching Clydes fucking shitstained hands

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: I’ll hold Clyde's hand

TOLKIEN: Why do you wanna touch Clydes hands thats fucking nasty

CRAIG: For real

CRAIG: Preach 🙏🙏🙏

TWEEK: I don't care

TWEEK: It's just for a bit TWEEK: I can wash my own hands afterwards

CRAIG: EWWWW FAGS

CLYDE: Aww… really?? :D

TWEEK: Fine

TWEEK: Sure

TWEEK: Whatever

CLYDE: Nobody other than Tolkien has wanted to hold my hand before! :DD

TOLKIEN: Was that before or after I figured out you don't wash your hands

TWEEK: Who else is fine with

TWEEK: Touching Clyde

CRAIG: Stop making me have gay thoughts, Playboi Carti

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: I don't

TWEEK: I'm not

TWEEK: Just

TWEEK: Hold hands

TWEEK: You all have socks on

TWEEK: I think

TWEEK: So it's not gay

CARTMAN: Uhm erm erm erm

CARTMAN: Actually

CARTMAN: That's a homophobic statement

TWEEK: CRAIG SAID A FUCKING SLUR?????????

TWEEK: WHAT???????

TWEEK: IM TWEEK: HUH TWEEK: WHAT TWEEK: OKAY

TWEEK: JUST TWEEK: JUST HOLD HANDS TWEEK: STOP MAKING THIS HARDER FOR ME

CLYDE: Wow

CLYDE: I forgot CLYDE: What holding hands felt like

KYLE: Woah

KYLE: This reminds me of the first episode of My Little Pony

KYLE: Where

KYLE: Twilight and her friends

KYLE: Find the friendship trinkets or whatever

KYLE: And they reverse the curse on them that turns them into stone

KYLE: And they used them to like

KYLE: Defeat Nightmare Moon

KYLE: Turning her back into Princess Luna

KENNY: That was so fucking gay

KENNY: I feel like I'm gonna vomit rainbows because of you

CARTMAN: Kenny stop being homophobic

CARTMAN: I will cancel you again

KENNY: Fuck off I know that blue hair you wear online is a wig

CARTMAN: BITCH-

TWEEK: SHUT UP

TWEEK: ALL OF YOU TWEEK: MY SATAN

TWEEK: CAN YOU ALL GO LIKE TWEEK: TWO MINUTES WITHOUT FIGHTING AND OR DEGRADING EACH OTHER

KENNY: ….

CARTMAN: …. KYLE: …..

LITERALLY EVERYONE: …..

CRAIG: Slllaaa-

TOLKIEN: Dont

TOLKIEN: Just

TOLKIEN: Do not

TOLKIEN: Actually, you’ve lost speaking privileges

CRAIG: 😡

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Is

TWEEK: Is everyone holding hands

CRAIG: yeah its like Kumbaya frfr

TOLKIEN: Stop talking

TWEEK: Okay

TWEEK: Alakazam

TWEEK: Alakazane

TWEEK: Im sending you off this mortal plane

KYLE: Wait wha-

CRAIG: Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe! Like And Subscribe!

KENNY: Yoooo

CRAIG: Like and Share! Like and Share! Like and Share!

TOLKIEN: Haaaaa

TOLKIEN: What

TOLKIEN: Was that

TWEEK: Magic Trick

TOLKIEN: What

TWEEK: Hey you have a lot of free time when you live in a dumpster

CRAIG: Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link! Copy link!

TOLKIEN: Whatever, please for the sake of our brain cells, never do that again

KENNY: I dunno

KENNY: I thought that was pretty cool

CRAIG: Kombucha? I LLLOOOVVVEEE KOMBUCHA! Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA Kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA

TWEEK: Alright

TWEEK: Humans

TWEEK: Freaks

TWEEK: Whatever your names are

TWEEK: Get in the fucking barn

TWEEK: Now, quoting the safety psas from Estella,

TWEEK: Don't open the door for strangers, Don’t investigate any random noises, don't take any offers from strange men in white vans, don't help anyone, if anyone says they're friends of your parents do not trust them

TWEEK: And for goodness sake,

TWEEK: USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM

CRAIG: I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis! I'm addicted to Takis!

STAN: One, what are we, five?

STAN: Second

STAN: It's a backup bunker, not  a barn

TWEEK: WHATEVER! JUST- GET IN

TWEEK: DO YOU WANNA LIVE OR NOT????

STAN: No

TWEEK: …

STAN: …

TWEEK: ….

STAN: ….

TWEEK: ….

TWEEK: O….

TWEEK: Kay…..

TWEEK: Just…..

TWEEK: Get in the barn

STAN: Fineeeee

STAN: Whatever

STAN: Fuck you

CRAIG: [ Gotta sleep in fucking pig shit this sucks fuck this ]

CLYDE: Hey

CLYDE: Hey CLYDE: Hey Tweek

TWEEK: Arrrghhh…What….

CLYDE: Do

CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think

CLYDE: Do you think we CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you think we could

CLYDE: Maybe

CLYDE: Like

CLYDE: Go to like

CLYDE: Dennys

CLYDE: After this???

TWEEK: Whats

TWEEK: What's Dennys?

CLYDE: Oh

CLYDE: Uh

CLYDE: Maybe we could like

CLYDE: Go to Olive Garden then?

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: What's an olive?

TWEEK: And

TWEEK: And what's a Garden?

CLYDE: …

CLYDE: Oh you poor

CLYDE: Sweet

CLYDE: Summer child

CLYDE: You know what

CLYDE: I'm gonna take you to the Olive Garden

CLYDE: And you're gonna have the time of your fucking life

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: O

TWEEK: OKAY?????

CLYDE: Alright

CLYDE: I’ll see you there babe

TWEEK: Uh

TWEEK: UHHH

TWEEK: WHAT

TWEEK: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE TWEEK: WHAT???

TOLKIEN: Don’t fall for that shit

TOLKIEN: He doesn't wash his hands

TOLKIEN: Or his ass

TWEEK: Why's that relevant?

TOLKIEN: IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING?????

TWEEK: CHILL OUT IT'S NOT THAT BAD

TOLKIEN: YES IT IS??????

TWEEK: …Whatevs

TOLKIEN: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????

(edits made by @pissblanket)

[risetherivermoon]

here have a sparrow related rant :D (dndads ep 48 spoilers!!)

btw, my entire perception (or all together understanding) of sparrow oak has shifted after this episode-

i think unconsciously i saw the twins as completely different people, like wildly different from eachother, after season 1 and in season 2

but honestly- after we find out that sparrow is the one who enacted code purple, the conversation with henry and mercedes? i still see them as different characters, but i feel like they are actually way more similar than i initially thought

they're just both two guilt ridden idiots, and at first i was really confused why it seemed like sparrow would always group himself with lark when talking about who "ended the world" or whatever (i thought it was probably him saying it in solidarity or whatever, which i think is still partially the reason) but now he also basically did what lark did

i think thats whats heartbreaking to me, because henry immediately forgives lark after he releases the doodler, but sparrow is immediately told he will never be forgiven, and where lark has the motive of wanting to defeat the doodler and become stronger, sparrow has the motive of just wanting to protect his family-

im not saying this is out of character of henry, i definitely think this is how he'd react since he has the knowledge of exactly what code purple will do, and we also know that sparrow tried to lie to him to enact it as well, but its just- fuck

personally i think because of how lark and henrys relationship is in late s1 (and afterwards) henry probably was unconsciously more attentive to lark afterwards, trying to repair that broken relationship- and so his perspective of sparrow is different, sparrow usually goes along with lark and backs him up but he never actually argues with henry or whatever,

so when sparrow does something that he does himself, it seems so off and random to henry, personally i think if he had to think about it that lark would be the twin that what would be most likely to be the one to do it, a lot of it is sparrow acting on his own principle and we really don't see that often, (blah blah, its lark and sparrow not sparrow and lark, blah blah)

basically i think that it was so unexpected of sparrow that henry immediately freaks out and is more aware of the betrayal than he was back when the doodler was released,

im relistening to the mummy issues arc in s1, and was listening to scene of henry and darryl arguing about the pyramid, and i think that's really the thing yk? because henry's moral compass is more pointed towards being selfless, where sparrow seems to be on the opposite side of that in this situation

for example, henry wants to go and get arrested by neverwinter because they had let the pyramid fall instead of trying to save lark and sparrow from the omegadads, which makes sense that he doesn't approve of code purple because it would put faerun in danger, even though it would mean his family would be safe,

and then sparrow, who enacts code purple because even though it would destroy faerun, he and his family would be safe,

ive seen people compare code purple to the trolley problem- and honestly, i agree so much, its similar, where if the same amount of people are on both tracks but one has your friends and family/people you love on one side as well,

really sparrow was put into such a huge position of either way he will end up hurting someone, his 6-year-old son is attacked by a flesh hoard that he can get rid off by flicking a single switch, and of course he's going to do it, even if that means his parents never want to speak to him again and that he dooms another plain of existence to destruction

im just in love with how much this podcast spins morality around, it can be so incredibly philosophical for being a dungeons and dragons podcast about a bunch of stupid dads, it really makes you realize how complicated humans are

[intergalactic-garbage]

i see you've chosen to be into red dwarf today, which i've never heard of, so i'm currently working out from your posts what it even is at all

my guess went from fiction podcast to musical (a la starkid) to somewhat low budget tv show (made no later than 2007 and likely in the 80s)

it seems fun! and i'm also having fun with my lack of understanding of what it is so it's your call whether you want to tell me or just laugh at my guesses :)

hiiii monarch! i love the phrasing "whats this mf gonna reblog today *spins wheel*" :D <3

red dwarf is a sci-fi comedy sitcom from the uk, which aired some time ago. it's something i used to watch with my dad (still do sometimes) - we have all the series on dvd in czech, and the dub holds a special place in my heart.

as do the characters! the cast features dave lister, last human whos accidentally survived an accident that killed everyone else on the spaceship, wakes up 3mil yrs later, and is only accompanied by rimmer, his former insuffrable roommate (now in the form of a hologram), cat (guy who is from a race that evolved from lister's cat which he sneaked on the spaceship (and the reason why he got sent to stasis for 3mil yrs)), totally flamboyant and very stupid mf (i love him), holly (the ships sarcastic ai interface) and kryten (servant robot who learns to be more human and rebel against his programming).

the cast all have their insufferable qualities that make them so very human. lister is just a guy. hes very punk subculture guy who just views the world through very common sense, likes to poke fun at rimmer, and is gross at times :D but very much is the one to be the voice of humanity and just. empathy. real. rimmer is a horrible know-it-all whos a terrible coward and loves to pesk everyone around him (and drop the blame for things he did to himself on everyone else). he has 97 illnesses and isnt allowed in most public spaces

(this is a hannibal meme but applies to rimmer too well.) hes very autistic coded, his parents hated him, is obsessed with becoming a great world ruler/hero/whatever, and terribly in denial of the fact that hes just sabotaging himself in becoming that. also frequently made fun of for not having a lot of sex with women, but it all just comes of as him being gay and horribly horribly in denial about it.

basically, rimmer was only revived as a hologram to be a companion to lister, and was picked to be the person who was best fit to be listers companion for an eternity in space from every person on the ship of red dwarf (which is said to be big like a small city). which idk but if you ask me thats pretty gay.

the sort of core of the show is the banter of them two, and them being polar opposites in a way, but also, despite how annoyed they are by each other, clearly caring about each other.

the third character is holly, the ships ai with iq in the thousands, who exists to provide info on the ship and have sarcastic remarks. sometime in s2 he switches gender and becomes a woman. dont remember why or how. but then she has this horrible haircut

the fourth character is cat. hes stupid, cares about himself, dresses in flamboyant suits (my personal fashion icon), but never to such an extent that hed become actually unlikable. theyre all kinda annoying but that makes it so good :D the fifth character, who joins the cast sometime in s2 is kryten, android who is their maid. hes very kind and caring and they slowly actively try to disrupt this programming, so he can lie and rebel and just. im soft abt it

the entire show is enjoyable bc of the characters and the fact they all share a single braincell, and the setting allows fun sci-fi shenanigans to happen. like a manifestation of their worst aspects in the form of a planet, a version of earth where time is in reverse, and all that jazz - but it all really serves as a setting for the characters and the bits :D despite all that, often theres a deeper thought underlying the eps, like theyre often on the verge of death, or discussing the morality of something. it's all just very british.

and ahhhh i just love them all they have zero braincells and the humour is so special to me<33 and thank you for asking!!! im literally so happy someone asked me about this :3 also please if theres anything that didnt make sense to you or want to ask further about please do <3

[fuck-you-official]

fuck you dad. fuck you for everything. fuck you for ruining my life. fuck you for being such a good respectable man when we all knew who you were. especially me and you. the both of us know that that facade is faker than the love you pretended to have for both me and mom. you only cared about yourself, and when something bad did actually happen to you, when your mother died and you expected us all to coddle you. the rest of them might've cared, but I didn't. not after the trauma you gave me at such a young age, i couldn't even process it and whether it was a dream or if you knew i wouldn't be able to differentiate that memory if it was real or not. id say fuck you to my mom for never noticing, but i've forgiven her. unlike you, she had something to grow and change from. you could only abuse the ones you love and say nothing or even deny it. she accepted her mistakes and knew she did something wrong but we all know that even if you did that for once in your life, who would ever forgive someone, even less someone they were supposed to love and trust, for ruining me and defiling me, selling my body out just to get yourself kicking. god save my mothers gut-wrenched soul for the fact that you manipulated her into making her believe every slippery lie that fell off your tongue, every excuse that you came up for yourself, every pin and pointing finger you threw at me to blame me. i love my mother so dearly, the fact that you would get angry at her for your own faults and whine like a man baby when she called you out on it makes me want you to take a nice visit to the ninth circle of hell. the years its taken me (and still taking me) to recover from your abuse. i can't ask for help easily, i can't speak up about my interests or thoughts without thinking of how people might think, i can barely stand in the same room next to an older man around your age without wanting to cry or shutdown. my mom can't even bring a man shes been talking to into the house without me shutting myself away and wanting him to leave. i love reading, but god forbid i try to imagine the image of big, rough, course hands without thinking that they were yours. you made me begin to form insecurities at the age of 6. i thought i was so ugly and weird because thats what daddy told me. you sexualized me so much, i began to question whether that was normal for most families. i asked friends at school, essentially asking "hey guys, does your dad tell you you're chest is growing in so well already or is that just me" and they were fucking concerned, and i didn't know better so i thought they were just judgemental. i thought everyone wrestled with their dad and tickled eachother and even did a little gropin here and there, hell everyone knows that tradition! /s

it's been 3 years since i moved. im forgetting your face, but im also forgetting my stepbrothers faces too. they were the one thing i loved about living there, i miss them both, and the fact you ruined my life to where i can never see them again makes me realize how much of a selfish prick you are. i hope all the fat in your body doesn't add fuel for the flames of hell you'll burn in. I've far moved on from the chapter of my life that had you in it, but are you ever really able to move on from an imprinted image in your mind that haunts you occasionally, reminding you why you're like this, telling you that you're the reason for both the cause and effect of your trauma? not really. when court decides to get off their ass and actually plan the court date for your charges, I will be there. and I'll be the last, sweet image you see before your soap dropping, bitch boy days in a cell. and when you die, ill cremate you so i can roll you into a joint and smoke you.

sincerely, the kid you never bothered to respect.

p.s wait till you find out how nicely they treat child predators in jail.

.

[buntress]

HEHEHEHHEE YES OKAY OKAY SO

danny canonically (well, canon enough, it was a remark from the developers) has npd right. and I have hpd and bpd and they share a lot of symptoms, being cluster b personality disorders and all. so I can proudly say

that man has awful identity issues. he spent so long pretending to be other people for praise, attention and safety that he has no idea who "Danny Johnson" is at all. sometimes he isn't even sure he's actually human. he likely dissociates a lot. he only really thought about it a while after he got taken by the entity, seeing there isnt anything to do outside of trials hes likely been in his own mind most of the time.

he may act buddy-buddy with them as a sort of second nature but he's really insecure with himself and so manifests it as hatred for other killers. (it may also be the 'canon' reason ghostface players tend to be very chill with survivors, despite him being a misanthrope. he feels safer with them because he has the cloak of superiority and being a threat with them which he doesnt have with the killers ykyk) after all he's just an average guy with a knife and knowledge on stalking, hes not overly strong without the entity's help, or tall, or supernatural in any way. to him his "backstory" isnt even bad as any of the other killers, to him at least. (it definitely was, man was literally groomed to be a murderer by his dad. but your trauma never looks as bad as the other people's you know)

also hes FTM and was 3 years on T up until he got taken by the entity (his body time kinda paused after that so he didnt revert to being feminine dw). he still has a set of tits and a coochie because in his words "surgery recovery is a waste of time, it will get suspicious if ghostface goes silent for 6 whole months" :3 he's happy with his body though... mostly. anyway thats the reason he's always hunching during trials. cant wear a binder during a chase thatd be inconvenient (please imagine a ghostface coughing and wheezing and begging the survivors to wait for him now. thank you)

he's still silly, a little clumsy but its one of the things he's less insecure about tbh. an all serious ghostface is not fun and not what wes craven would want.

anyway I need him to get a therapist so bad. bbygirl dw you wont lose your spark the spark in question is you dissociating for hours at a time on your apartment bed having a barbie movie moment like "what was I made for..." therapy will help you babygirl I promi-

THESE ARE ALL SUCH FUCKING GOOD HEADCANONS OKOKOK SO

to share my own while i am at it Teehee (i love him so much)

I def agree on the dissociation and fucked up sense of identity, mans is a messed up lil fuck and def needs to go see an entity ordered therapist. I personally def put Danny on the aro spectrum (i dont think ace personally, aroallo moment imo) though i think more on the demi or greyaro side, and if any of the survivors are ever like, flirty he just stares at them and slowly shakes his head because oh no babygirl one thats a bad idea to try and do and two you are not the person my brain has made an exception for thats for fucking sure

(I'm demiromantic myself so I describe it like that bc im basically aromantic until my brain makes an Exception(tm))

Alsoalsoalso very down for him not being friends with the other killers bc hatred and lowkey jealousy but I think he looks at the legion kids and is like "Cool, I'm your uncle now." because they're the only ones like him at all, just normal dudes even smaller than he is because theyre basically just fucked up teenagers so he feels a slight kinship and he definitely doesn't play favorites at all (this is a lie Suzy is his perfect little baby and he goes full cool uncle mode with her 100% all the time)

Also Also because self shipping noises when/if a survivor or killer (im using survivor mostly bc that's where I see myself self insert wise) does catch his interest in a romantic he genuinely just fucking panics and doesn't know what the fuck to do about it. He fumbles with them a lot and suddenly most of his smooth and cool dude exterior? Gone. Vanished. Fumbling even more than usual and it makes him SO MAD so he just.......threatens them a lot and hooks them a lot because fuck you stop making me feel things i hate you but also please just like hold my hand or something what the fuck

When finally the survivor is like DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE and blows up on his ass he's like IDK MAN YOU GIVE ME BIG FEELINGS AND I DON'T LIKE IT COULD YOU STOP MAYBE????

anyways when that shits sorted I imagine it being a mutual (healthy) obsession thing where Danny treats his partner like they're the entity incarnate and partner does similar for him and everyone is disgusted by it but at least everytime partner is around in trials he's nice to them so like they can't complain.

If it was a killer though they would become absolute terrors and no one would be safe ever. Skip through the moldy corn fields holding hands kinda shit. Absolute fucking idiots.

(Also at one point he tries to give partner a bouquet of flowers except it was like 4 dandelions and a leaf and he ate one of the dandelions)

Anyways I love Danny Johnson I am kissing him on the mouth

[jenanddomo]

6.28.23

11:39pm

hey, its been a long time since i actually put something!

lets start w love life

so i got w my bf lol in early april! he so sweet n cute. he fr has the best version of me he so lucky

the reason y i say he so lucky bc i fr try my hardest not to be ugly or mean to me, he doesn’t deserve that. me n him r doin well :) prob bc it jst the beginning still but even then i tell him everything lol , i told him my darkest secrets n stuff (i thought he was gon be a stranger) but we always havin convos. i sleep w him once a week sometimes two, he so comfortable to sleep with.! i love to be ard him, we do little cute dates n i drove us to the movies to watch elemental it was so cute! so rn thats good

i treat him super good, im super honest w him n i jst cant lie to him:( i tell him the truth eventually. i only lie to him to mes w him like sum stupidddd

but thats that

mentally

i have been doin great actually! i dont feel miserable or depressed, empty, like im so happy now! life is great, i love everyone ard me :) every1 so great their hasnt been anyone so negative uk? im also very real to myself i accepted n jst found peace within myself

so thats good

pets

my two og cats died my spooky n kingking:(

i miss them very much i miss my black n orange cat they were like ying n yang . i miss their cute little personalities they were the best

but now a general

post

lets talk abt what i think and stuff

so i moved on lol as i said i found peace within myself , lookin at the old posts,, gosh who let me cook,,, i saw old posts, messages, and everything n its so crazy how much i changed in 5 months really. lookin at how immature i was , i was so clueless and stupid and lookin back at it now it likes been there uk? it was never a good thing from the get go:) i accepted that, i also accepted i used to be a bad person to but ik i got so much better, the guy im w he makes me want to be a better person.

eating? i dont eat anymore lol, i still eat below like 1000 cals , like every 2 weeks i will eat above it butttt idk! honestly in only this month i lost 8-9 lbs:) so now im 142 yippe yayayay my goal weight is 120-130 so in total i lost 38 lbs which is crazy. when my bf met me i was above 155 so im pretty happy w that

my life been so peaceful and im jst so glad alot of ppl left my life this year before i graduated, n im thankful for those ppl too without yall i wouldnt be who i am today uk? yes i was mad, childish and everything, that part it jst sum i still need to work on bc i do have anger issues. but even then i dont like arguing anymore or jst fightin in general, yea thats what i learned what to do but its not worth it uk? on my insta reels i see some relatable posts that i relate to so much im jst like awh:3

im glad im jst not how i was before uk? rn im jst so calm, i dont feel empty no more , i actually starting to feel motivation to do sum, i want to do sum w my life and i want to help others ard me.

when it was my last day of school, it was supposed to be “sad” but i was so happy bc i donated blood n my blood helped someone:D i was so happyyy like jst helpin other ppl makes me ecstatic.

i also quit smoking so im proud of myself for that:) i do have moments where i wan do it n stuff but im like no drugs bad n the only bad thing i do is drink, but even then im trying to stop that too bc their was one week were i drank everyday but i told myself i dont wan be like my dad so i kind of stopped.

my music taste is different then it was 5 months ago.

i have 2 new cats gizmo n walter.

im jst so happy rn lol i dont know what to say:3

but im glad for what happened to me , im glad i went through stuff when i was a kid, im glad i finally even opened up abt it to someone im jst so glad everything happened bc i jst wouldnt be who i am now

i guess

im just tryin to be a bigger better person

i dont want to be childish no more i dont want to fight i dont want to hit or argue or cause shit on purpose

lately i been emotional but i think

i jst need it bc im jst so glad how open i am w all that stuff rn

i also finished king of the hill lol i dont know if i put that

[i-love-dopamine]

"you better explain fast." she spat. she hasn't seen her dad in what... sixeen years? alots changed sense then. clearly he hasnt, though. why does he look just like i remember him? not even a wrinkle or a grey?

"so uh, i might have maybe been taken to a fantasy world?" he stumbled around his words, like they were unfamiliar. he had a hint of an accent, too.

"uh huh, yeah, sure. get out of me and pabbys house." she ordered. does he really think he can disappear for sixteen years, and then just pop up out of the blue with the worlds shittiest lie and a carton of milk?

"wh- but ka-"

"dont call me that. thats not my name anymore." she cut him off, trying to cut this as short as possible, maybe call the police too.

"but, thats your name"

"no, its not. im not your little boy. my name is sandra. now get the fuck out of the house before i call the police"

"sandra?" he said, rolling the word around in his mouth like a piece of food with a yet to be determined flavour.

"yeah. not get-" suddenly, she was cut off by the door opening.

"sandra? you home?" a voice rang through the house, and an older man, maybe late forties, walks into the kitchen. greyed hair long and tied back in a ponytail, he goes to put down a brown paper bag of groceries, and stops dead in his tracks.

"is- who- holy shit-" the new addition to the conversation clumbles out the words, trying to make sense of the scene hes just walked into. his husband, whos supposedly been dead for sixteen years, is standing in his kitchen, looking not a day over thirty-five.

"holy- love! how long have i been gone?" sandras supposedly dead dad steps forward, going out to grab the other mans hand, as if hes not sure hes really there.

"Juels? Is that really you? I cant believe your alive..."

"yeah, well, i cant believe you're an old man" Juels laughs a bit at his own joke, earning a warm chuckle from the other

"yeah, well, sixteen years will to that to you"

"six- sixteen? Ive been gone sixteen years?"

"wait, how the fuck are you even here? what happened?"

"you're not gonna believe me... i kinda got scammed by a fairy?"

"a fairy. really, juels. you disappear for sixteen years without so much as a warning and thats what i get? A childrens story?"

"no- theo, id never lie to you"

"oh? then spit it out. ill think about believing you."

"we were out of milk so i went to the store to get some and then i got hit by a bus and a fairy said they'd promise to bring me back if i won a game of chess against them and-" juels spoke, mouth moving a mile a minute,

"slow down, juels."

at this point, sandra was awestrucken. she really thought pabby would be as mad at dad as she was, but she should've known better. pabbys always been a big softy, after all.

juels took a deep breath before continuing,

"so i agreed to play chess with the fairy, but it turned out that it was actually throwing me and about three hundred people all into one square on a giant board and we were the pieces. eventually the boxes all opened and we had to kill or be killed and only one half of the board was going home. i happened to get home, for you guys i swear its only been a week, how has it been sixteen years?"

/ oki done. i might make more about this if anyone wants but i think this is a pretty good snippet :)

You cannot believe your eyes. "…D-Dad?!" The man who vanished from your life sixteen years ago, the man who just spontaneously popped into existence in your kitchen clutching, of all things a large crate of milk and a glowing sword, stares at you nervously. "OK, first of all, I can explain…

[fictionfixations]

Stiles & Other Stiles Dream Sequence

disclaimer: i have never seen teen wolf. all my knowledge comes from fanfiction. also spoilers

been having brainrot over this. ive been thinking about this since yesterday but like 'no. im not gonna write it'

..but now ive folded because i cant stop thinking about this conversation. maybe some of the dialogue feels weird. but thats because the first convo i came up with that probably ran a lot smoother i cannot remember. and i never wrote it down

[where the sheriff is dead]

the sheriff dies

stiles is all sad like '..i never got to tell him the truth.'

dream, where theres two stiles (would be void, but. idfk where in the timeline this would be and if that wouldve happened. well not void void but like. teh stiles that 'was' void. the thing of void that remained even when the actual thing left)

Other Stiles: You know what I think you feel? Relief.

Stiles: What?

Other Stiles: I think you felt relief. There's no one you would have to lie to anymore now that he's gone. No more tough conversations, no more facing his disappointment-- Just you and yourself. And now you can do whatever you want without worries of consequences.

Stiles: (..It didn't even occur to me..) No! That's not..!

Other Stiles: But isn't it? This isn't livable, y'know. Sneaking out every other day, researching till exhaustion hits you so bad you black out. He thought you did drugs. Ending up in the wrong sort of crowd. And no matter how much he grounded you, made you do chores, lectured-- it didn't work. And he probably thought, 'what am I doing wrong?' 

Stiles: ...

Other Stiles: And you know what? Love can so easily turn into hate. Resentment. You know how he gets when he goes into one of his drunk stupors. Remember?

Stiles: No...

Other Stiles: When mom died. Remember what he said? 

Stiles: Stop it!

Other Stiles: You killed her.

Stiles: Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!

Other Stiles: No matter how much you tell me to shut up, it doesn't change the fact that I'm correct. You want to know what he thought of you?

Stiles: No!

Other Stiles: You already know. After all, he tried everything! He gave you space, he tried to be there, and you just didn't budge. Because no, you were just too stubborn. Just like mom. You know, she didn't even tell dad about her diagnosis until months passed because she knew he'd be crushed. And you know what? He feared that you were doing the same thing. That one day he would find you dead in a ditch. And everyone would see you as just another drug addict who got a little too high and fucked up, and would spit on your name. Or you know what? Not even give a crap.

Stiles: Stop it...

Other Stiles: So if he wasn't the one doing anything wrong, then it was you. You were wrong.

Stiles: No...

Other Stiles: You were messed up and he had no idea how to fix you. What was the point of hiding anyway? Oh wait, I know! Because dear old dad loved you, but he didn't trust you. No, you broke it. And it was too late.

Stiles: I know that. I know that it was too late... I..

Other Stiles: Hell, maybe if you sprouted crap about werewolves and hunters, he would've given up right then and there. Because you were delusional, weren't you? And who knows, maybe if you told him at first, maybe he would've believed you. Or maybe he would've thought you were lying. Maybe he would've gotten mad. Like, who the hell are you to try to reason real life murder cases with fantasy, right? *laugh*

Stiles: ...

Other Stiles: No, how dare you? This isn't time for fun and games, Stiles! You think he would've said that? Maybe he would've been disgusted by you and your blasé attitude towards such a tragedy. Such a loss of life. 

Stiles: ..That's not..

Other Stiles: You think you could've gotten proof? Everyone knows Scotty'll follow you. So what if he backs you up? Doesn't mean a thing. Besides, he was chasing after a girl, you really think he would've dropped it to prove to your dad, 'hey, I'm a monster!' And you know Derek would never have been up for it. No point in trying.

So all that's left is you and your words. Does he trust you? Does he trust you enough to believe what you're saying? 

Stiles: ..Just stop it already.

Other Stiles: You know the answer. He wouldn't have believed you. Maybe he even hates you for having such a shitty son. Can't do anything right. Remember Jackson? Never would've thought it was in you to pull such a 'prank'. I thought I taught you better. Y'know?

Stiles: ..You're such a liar. I didn't feel relief. I never did. So what if there were hard times!? He was my dad! And I didn't make it any easier for him.. We still loved each other..

Other Stiles: Did he?

Stiles: Just! I don't need this right now. I don't need you trying to undermine everything and--

Other Stiles: Am I wrong?

Stiles: Just shut up! Just shut up for one second. I don't know who you are, why you're me, where these thoughts are coming from, I just-!

"Stiles?"

He opened his eyes.

The teen shuddered, feeling all sweaty and gross. 

"Wha..?"

inspired by the dream part of this: (sheriff being dead came from me starting a diff fic where he dies. and then i went to bed.)

[sporadicarbitergardener]

October 3, 2023

Even as a woman who knows how to rap and sing holding your head up means each day trying something new. Learning natural remedies to get by and survive.

Letting go of the past helps to rebuild a future. Love will never have a title, or even a label on it. Love covers multitude of sins because well love is a big thing and everyone wants soemthing from you.

Your own family will even take from you for their own blessings. Nots a child's father though because well not even for a new woman. My life will Never go into another womans pockets to benefit her. Thats what you call a string theroy. Another female will do anything she can to build a case on a man or even manipulate about a mans past as well. Its crazy. Females lie and do as they are coached by even their own mommas because of groups, packs etc. I raised alot of wolves, thats the oath as a God mother. No matter what anyone says to me . I know my life and I view things . Sometimes we all do a job without getting paid because well even working 2 jobs with a child on my hip was easy for me. Truth women are suppose to stay home. RIght now its the year for women to reflect and fall back and chill out because alot of women like to be messy and evil. To get back at ex boyfriends or even the baby mommas of a cukoo babys father. Lawyers are drawing up and even sueing and talking shit because money became the rue of all evil. Sometimes you have to even watch your exboyfriends back . Love is there with loyalty. Loyalty is huge. Bigger than what any check can buy. My father always carried a wait on his shoulder and well im carrying it as well.

Love is confusing but reflecting on my dads past back with Mrs. Karen Smith my old counselor Mrs. Katherine Blankenship "found". Who always kept notes of my life she translated my way of expressing how I seen ghost to my father.

Momma Kat even looked at him worried as well. He looked at me and said "Her momma played with playing cards."

Glenn Ray Seymour never raped me or used me he actually always gave me money behind momma cats back because she kept his ass straight and always in check. She always felt that I hated her when I didn't maturing and getting older before he got arrested July 22, 2009 I remember seeing her lock herself in the room because my dad was having addiction issues. He broke her heart, and trust. When they investigated his case she asked me if I wanted to stay in her custody because she did love me. Now that I am off the meth and being very honest not caring anymore because at the end of the day truth is needed. Love is seen differently now and getting older. Looking into how I see things differently getting older it brings pain I never realized because sometimes its amazing that my dad had her as a wife as well she was trying her best to keep him away from things that felt toxic best of her knowledge. I was a asshole back in 2017 when my grandmother " Jackie Lachney died and I blew up on this women as well. Her wisdom she taught me really has hit me again. I was always wise with my father's money because I even thought about my two other baby brothers future.

Thats love from a far. Money can't replace a father.

Or even a mother. Really realizing blood will never matter when I reflect. If my daddy wasn't silly and trying to be something different he would have never got in trouble. Before the age of 12 children can see ghosts. Yeah, when a women says she can feel spirits or see ghosts makes the eye of even men look at women crazy because of spirituality reasoning.

No matter what we do even as a baby momma , your suppose to watch from a distance over family because knowing alot of people can be scary . Now when its blood. Noone has the right to say fuck because family is family and man or woman either need to learn to adapt to the family or get the hell because as life goes on love will never be forgotten. I was always taught keep your head up. Pain hurts and emotions over turmoil alot but that is why there is techniques that you pick up on life to let that pain out because no matter what anyone says. Family means no matter what . Vengeance is evil. Thats why as life goes on . You learn to let things go because you never really know who really has your back behind a screen.

[flooficandii]

what do u think ab an au where the vp takes in kids with radiant abilities to train them as the "future" of valorant

this idea's kinda scuffed af bc idk much ab the lore actually i'm still confused ab kingdom n earth but i just want an excuse to see the agents babysitting chaotic kids with powers LMAOAoadjdj

IM NOT GONNA LIE THAT WOULD SOUND SUPER CUTE LMAO RADIANT BABY DAYCARE,,,, also this is a perfect excuse to put my headcanons about which of the agents are the best with kids

parents. like, literal parents dude

brimstone. he is the first immediate thing that comes to mind when i think of parenting. i mean look at the way he talks to the rest of the agents, you can't tell me he won't do well with kids

CYPHER!!! bro cypher would LOVE kids,,,,i hc he was really excited to be a dad but nora kinda died with his unborn baby so,, yknow he has that yearning feeling and he kinda projects that nature onto the younguns. he may be super secretive and shifty but you can tell he cares for them and would love to have children running around the base

sage!! sage radiates this energy of warmth and comfort and security, you'll always feel safe with her so she'd be wonderful with children :]] she won't hesitate to be strict if needed though so just make sure to stay on her good side unless,,, "YOUR HOMEWORK IS NOT OVER!!!"

reyna. surprisingly. although she isn't as much a parent as the rest of them, she wILL break someone's arm for a kid. she may be very murderous but kids might be her soft spot (glances vaguely at her little sister)

tbh i see her as the kind of caretaker that'll let her kid do awful things lmao

"miss reyna can i say a curse word ple a se ,,,"

"of course, cariño."

"FUCK!!!!"

okay at it/awkward but trying

omen. omen isn't sure how to interact with children,,,, like, i headcanon he scares them away a lot

if one of them happens to be NOT scared?? *immediately imprints*

i think the most he'd do while watching over children is just sit there with his knitting needles and grunt Menacingly whenever they start causing trouble

viper. viper also scares kids away, understandably so, but she does have this maternal nature despite her scary aura (exhibit a: duality)

i headcanon she actually dislikes children and tries to avoid them as much as possible but will be incREDIBLY protective if they're threatened

yoru. he finds kids annoying. but if he were put in a situation where he HAD to keep an eye on them he'd probably try

just a little bit

as a treat

he'll call them brats or something lmAO what a bitch

unless one of them calls him cool and feeds his ego

then yeah he'll love them lol

imagine yoru going into his rift and picking the kid up to make it look like they're flying

a parent? maybe not, it's really not something on his list of ideals. but a big brother figure? sure! it means he gets to bully tease children to his heart’s content

sova. sova is okay at babysitting. he’s very quiet though so the kids usually get bored with him

he’s quick to straighten them up if they’re misbehaving

maybe he’ll tell fairy tales about the mountains or something

*deep thick russian voice* “When I was still living with my babushka in the frigid mountains of the North,”

babysitters at most

jett. jett seems like the cool babysitter who lets you do anything and everything lmao,, stay up past your bedtime?? sure thing. snacks before dinner?? hell yeah. you want her to show you her cool spinny wind trick?? of course!!

raze! raze gives off the vibes of the girl next door who everyone in the neighborhood knows and loves. she probably hung out with the kids in her town a lot and would draw with them, make music with them, etc. very big sister vibes 10/10 just don't let her have explosives around them

ASTRA!!! astra astra astra i bet she’d be the type to give piggy back rides and make little stardust confetti to wow them with!! she’ll sing songs and read stories and maybe do little puppet shows for them  

skye would do great with kids! she’s strong enough to catch up to them during vigorous games of tag and she’d let them pet her tiger

her animals love the kids too

imagine taz lying on his back as they pet his belly and hawko perching on top of their heads

haha! *slowly pulls them away from the children*

breach. i dont know about you guys but if you left him with a kid he would lose them in like 1.5 minutes

“what? they’re tiny, you think i’d notice?”

bro he is such a fucking bully he’d punt a kid across a football field

i guess he’d let them sit on his giant bionic shoulders but thats it

phoenix.

says he has it under control

does NOT have it under control

“alright, fam! leave it to me, i can handle some younguns-”

*burns down the entire hq after trying to show them a trick*

killjoy. bro she would use them for her experiments without batting an eye

“KILLJOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE KIDS”

“testing the sensor range of my turret!! :DD relax, it won’t hurt them- they’re wearing helmets!”

“KILLJOY THEY’RE WRAPPED IN BUBBLE WRAP I DON’T THINK THAT’S HUMANE”

kay/o.

i dunno man i don’t think he’d even know what to do with kids

also he might accidentally break their spine if they wanted a hug lmao

he won’t hurt them on purpose but this is just,,,a safety measure

k would do great with kids though :]] big friendly guy

[sscoutregimentss]

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....