#i dont have anyone to talk to
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i cant fuckijg do tbis
#ghis is why i never take my meds#makes me so anxious at nihht#maybe its a side effect cause i havent taken them in awhile lol#but i cant even tell anyone cause then i would have to asmit to not taking then#fuck i cant do this#i dont want to have a panic attack#vent#i dont have anyone to talk to
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i really miss hurting myself. i am feeling really really bad again.
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I can't wait for therapy in a couple days this is one of lowest points of my life
#i was gonna apologize for venting but idrc if you dont like it then unfollow#i dont have anyone to talk to
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i think everyone just forgets that i am hard of hearing and like. it doesnt usually bother me but its makin me feel esp a little raw today
#cara speaks#amonst other things#or that im you know. blamed that i cant hear#‘wear your hearing aid more’ ok i dont want to wear it at home tho?#its not going to like. magically make my ear work when im not wearing it either#idk#ive had like this low burning feeling all day and honestly i havent crief in a while#so just one little thing thats so fucking dumb made this all boil over#i dont have anyone to talk to
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being real with myself i want to just throw in the towel but i know that's not an option
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posting across the targetverse here bc it did numbers on twitter
#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#miguel o'hara#hobie brown#im posting my art here from now onnnnn#maybe ill make a sideblog thats art only who knows.#bastardibujando#< thats my art tag btw. no i dont remeber what it was before so whatever art i have posted here is gone forever#hi for the love of god hello anyone wanna talk about spiderverse.#og post
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I think it's mean how some people talk about fics on AO3.
'Oh you gotta wade through literal trash to find the good stuff'.
Were you not a beginner once? Did you not write crack fic or self indulgent things for your own entertainment?
Maybe don't speak that way about your fellow fic writers? Just because some fics aren't as polished as others, or involve fetishes and tropes you don't enjoy, or are not the style you want your fics to be doesn't mean they're trash.
It's a horrible thing to say and beginners are going to be discouraged from writing knowing that their fics might be considered trash because they're just starting out.
#on fanfiction#archive of our own#ao3#fanfiction#this is inspired by a lot of the posts i see floating around that talk about fics like that#*i* dont read everything either#but you can say this is not for me without insulting the fics#(also mutuals this is not directed at any of you im not vaguing anyone on my dash)#these posts have existed for years
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*sigh*
#my thoughts#i should be used to it by now#im so alone#i dont have friends#i dont have anyone to talk to#i bottle up everything#depression is so much fun
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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been thinking about something wicked a little too much lately. no harm in romanticizing the ominous dreadful unstoppable force
#ultrakill#v1#v1cked#<- unsure if ive ever officially decided that was the tag id be using but i dont recall anyone else having an idea for it#v1 and something wicked... ouhehehe#in a game like this... with conflict and violence and unceasing demand for a spectacle it is a step back to have v1 find themselves in a-#dark and quiet labyrinth belonging to a force that scares even them#idk. i think about it. its so unlike everything v1 has gone through thus far (though albeit not much as 0-S is in prelude. but i assume-#-there was some killing before they decided to drop down)#maybe it reminds them of their home? where they were built? light humming of wicked passing feels like the buzzing of bright artificial-#-lights that were routinely shined down on them for maintenance#a strange but welcome connection...#and something wicked is very lonely. i dont think it has much of an issue with this seeing as it knows its maze so so well.. im sure it-#-cares for it extensively. but a machine? coming here? i wonder if something wicked has the ability to interact with the terminals at all#terminals do really only talk to machines#but this one seems quite lonely. i dont think itd mind if something wicked happened to take a look#ok im done#gen art
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inspired by those textposts about dick rocking up to the rest of titans with tim for the first time and kori et al. being like: is that the stalker kid???
bonus:
warm ups:
#sart#dc#koriand'r#tim drake#victor stone#dick grayson#dick & tim#'i'll do a quick meme redraw between things' <- A FOOL#i was skimming ntt issues for costume refs and im. So concerned#also apologies to the people who've actually read ntt i could not for the life of me tell who was and wasnt still part of the roster#by the time tim is fully robin and hanging with dick#i dont think i did kori's hair justice :')#and i chickened out of her og costume bc it's. a Lot#also this is unironically my favorite nightwing look#MULLETWING MY BELOVED#GONE TOO SOON#at least in batman collected stuff#ig i have to read ntt too at some point#ALSO if anyone knows the textpost im talking about!!! pls lmk#bc i cant find it
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claps my hands
chilchuck is an ADULT
he should not be compared to those series that make a 1000 year old character look like they're 8
because chilchuck does have signs of aging, is shown to, in the perspective of others of his race, be maturing
it is OK to ship him with another character!
for christs sake his kids are also considered grown adults
it sucks cause like, real life people with developmental disabilities get told they're never going to be able to express themselves sexually or their partners are considered evil, but they deserve to have just as much of a chance at love as others!
chilchuck acts and looks more mature than my 15 year old tall grown up looking cousin, and thats the difference! appearance shouldnt matter, chronologic age should be the only factor. not only is chilchuck older the adult age of his race, but hes also considered way over adult age in human years too!
please please just be normal about chilchuck i beg
#chilchuck tims#chilchuck#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#before anyone tries to say i dont know what im talking about#im the caretaker for my brother with autism that stunted his emotional and intellectual maturity#no one in the family takes his desire for love seriously#and thinks hes just faking being gay cause hes around me#no one but me has found out that he does want love and sex#and its an uphill battle getting people to not infantilize him#so i guess im really passionate about people who are legal adults#no matter what they look like#being able to have a say in their own sex lives
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Hello I love your art!!! I was reading through your changeling au and Felix mentions that fae are creatures of mirth. They literally need attention to survive. But what kind of attention? I guess I'm wondering because Adrien has been in the public eye for a while now, but has been personally neglected for even longer. What does that mean for him? Is he starving? Is he in danger of dying? Does he even know it? (I assume not given he doesn't even know he's Fae).
If he is starving / in danger of starving who is the first to realize this?
it depends on the mirth, on the attention, on what it is they seek. Without making things too complicated - I don't like to define everything into neat little boxes after all, there's fun in nuance - Felix is just explaining from his experience, the Fae he was with tended to be "entertained" by certain aspects of their playing, which was the mirth that kept them relevant. Relevancy more than anything is really what keeps their wheels greased.
In Adrien's case though, the reason he's cloying for so many names and to have so many thralls and attendants is because he SHOULD be a more social creature and has been kept woefully alone. He is kinda starving in the way a fae starves - he's relevant, but only in an image his father constructs OF him, which means it isn't REALLY him - and he has no one to play with. No friends, no lovers, and no rivals, makes a very sad fae
#replies#did this make sense ? I have very specific lore in my brain for how this shit works#and it can be sort of confusing to parse#starving doesn't work the same for fae as it does for people#being creatures of mirth#its why they like sweet foods generally. they dont eat it to eat#they eat it to taste something sweet#they take people's names to have people to play with#to feed their desire for entertainment and relevancy#how do i put this another way... anyone in the crowd have adhd? or the tisms? you know hyperfixations#like REAL hyperfixations. not just “I'm interested in this”#I mean “I am legitimately unable to focus on anything BUT this one thing”#“I have made this thing apart of my personality and I need it to survive and I know everything about it and I NEED to talk to someone it”#imagine you exist. but you're the hyperfixation#and you exist... MORE. in a real way. when people focus on you. some aspect of you#want to mimic you or are apart of you or are owned by you. now youre more real.#like that.
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it is completely one hundred percent baffling to me that any of the foxes would come away from witnessing neil and andrew's reunion in baltimore with the opinion that their relationship was just hate fucking . like my brother in christ are you blind
#andrew was FERAL .#he fucking choked KEVIN like COME ON#and he was like RACING into the room to see neil and#he was all like *tugs neil's hoodie to get his attention* *threatens anyone who tried to come close to them (abby)*#he was all like 'i dont trust them to give you back.' come on man .#and neil was looking at andrew . most definitely Like That. when he was talking to abby#neil was all battered and bruised from barely dodging a fucking death sentence and he sees andrews partly red eye and thats#the first thing he talks about#*lightly taps a thumb against the bruise at andrews eye* i didnt know theyd staged a riot#they were all like Looking at each other and ..... idk i am not explaining this well enough but .#you don't need me to. you all read it#it was So Fucking Obvious my god#im crying bc even neil thought nicky wasnt far from the truth at that point#like he could not have been more incorrect istg .#aftg#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#all for the game#mi ne
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autistic people when there's collectable things with tv shows with multiple generations of them:
#my litte pony friendship is magic#mlp#teenage mutant ninja turtles#littlest pet shop#lps#collectibles#toys#mainly talking about those things but if anyone wants to add other things please do!!#autism#self diagnosis#pls dont take this as generalizing I just really love collecting stuff based on my personal special interests but people who dont#are still autistic regardless also splatoon fixation has returned because of side order but still haven't played it bc I need to finish#the main story mode also got a tiny metal locker bc of splatoon from kmart for 9 dollars and its pink and cute also said kmart bc it still#exists in australia lmao idk about other countries but maybe also nz but not sure!!#edit: i have played some of side order!! its so funnnn
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