#i dont feel comfortable doing it on my main random blog so thats where the content is and heres where the thirst is lmao

[yugotrash]

but really tho idk if it's a terminally online disorder but this weird position of reading and agreeing with so much of radfem theory but being a guy so thats not my community but also not belonging to even that tiny group known as "tehms" for a variety of reasons really alienates me lol.

No, it's not a terminally online disorder. Most humans need a sense of belonging to a group or community. This is straight up monkey brain feeling and it's completely understandable. I'm a het woman who wants a partner so i have no cards in radical feminism myself at least not entirely but I'm also not performing enough feminist acts to consider myself even just a feminist. Agreeing with the ideas and ideals of a group you can truly belong to does such and alienates.

i can predict the answer is "just dont seek community based on your politics/homosexuality" and id like that but that assumes that those things wont be an issue for any random group of people. and being a homosexual and agreeing with radfem ideas does shape the way i think the opinions i express a lot its not like i can hide either of those without a good measure of discomfort for very long. i have radfem friends of course but the sex distinction is understandably something that will permanently divide us and the gays tend to be retarded cumbrained or womanhating or all three so thats not gonna be "my people" either.

Yeah, sometimes it is impossibly to find a whole, ready-made group, but, and i know I'm the last one to preach as i don't practice it, you can try and start such a group, irl or online. It's gonna be difficult but I'm sure there are some other men here, maybe not necessarily homosexual, who might share the radical feminist views you have. It's not perfect, but at least they're not cumbrained, which is a low bar but it's more than nothing. And it doesn't require you to hide your homosexuality or how it affects you as homosexual because these guys are also empathetic towards lesbians. Again, not perfect, but a step in the right direction.

I know for a fact there are some "tehms" on this site who do not abide by the chronic brainrot others demonstrate. They're focused more on women's rights and while yeah, they will sometimes talk about how some guy is hot, or how trans-identified women and girls are awfully rape-y, they still put the risks to women higher up on the list, or, more precisely, women's rights before their own comfort, which i find to be charming and considerate.

maybe one or two guys out there but who knows where and who. and its not so easy to complete forswear the idea of finding friends or even god forbid a partner to relate to,,

Yes, there won't be many of them, and it will not ever form a large community (mostly became most men do not find anything worthwhile in feminist critique, and many men, gay or straight or bi, are just constantly thinking with their dicks, but, and i can't believe I'm gonna say these words, Not All Men. You're special, but you're not THAT special that there is only one edition of a person with such views and circumstances as yours. And that's perfectly okay, you are special in other ways. But the thing is, there surely are like-minded people, either online or offline, and I'm sure you can either find them or even reform some existing ones, to agree with you more, and maybe even find love.

~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~

Sorry for the long ask, i hope your birthday went well and that you had fun. Happy belated birthday and may you manage to find a sense of community and shared sentiments both irl and online as soon as possible 🩵

~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~

I'd reach out to you non anonymously but granted i do want to keep my main blog a secret and do not want to be seen as a pick-me or something.

thank you so very much for such a thoughtful message, i do feel much better about the whole thing now. it's good to be reminded that one is not really that special <3

[itsbebebrainrotting]

Okay this is gonna be sappy amd all over the place but i dont often make posts like this sooo...

I came to tumblr... a little over a year ago now? And made my main account! I don't go on social media too often (not actively) but i was like hey, tumblr people seem like theyre having a good time so I'll go over there! My first posts and notes on there are sometimes kinda awkward in a way that screams "not comfortably talkative on social media"

I also notably was not into mcyt at the time. I'd not really kept up with any mcyt stuff aside from maybe mcc since towards the end of the dsmp (and even then i got back into dsmp for the first time in ages a bit before wilburs last stream). I'd heard bad things about the dsmp finale and people i used to find funny were less funny and it was all just less fun. I followed the dsmp tags cuz i hadn't quite dropped mcyt yet but i was all but out of it otherwise. (I also had been convinced by the stigma around the dsmp fandom that it wasnt a great community to be active in so had never been involved in it before)

And then, around the time of the flippa trial a random quackity vod with a clickbaitey title got into my yt recommended and i was curious so i checked it out. I'd heard of the qsmp and saw some people talking about it but i didn't think i liked enough people in it enough to watch it. The vod was quackitys pov of slime finding out about the first flippa misclick and trying to kill the eggs and something at some point intrigued me so i watched slimes pov of some other qsmp stuff and i think something about slimariana got me. I was hooked. And then i watched flippas trial and wilbur returning and loved tallulah and wanted to keep up with tallulah so started to watch phil and bad and i was in.

I started keeping up with qsmpblr around the time of flippas trial, i know because i recognise the liveblogs from the time. I didn't make too many posts but i kept an eye on the tag and it was fun. Everyone here is so lovely.

Then, over time, I slowly became more active and confident to the point where at the time of the brazil meetup it was all I'd post and all I'd get notes on and I started to feel bad for my followers on my main that weren't into mcyt. So i made this blog!

So now im here and im active and im not... social necessarily (i want to send more asks and have more conversations im trying to be better at that) but i do things! Hell, I've posted a fanfic I've written thats how comfortable I've gotten here. Everyone on qsmpblr has made me feel so welcome and happy and holy shit u guys r awesome.

Whether ur my mutual (speaking of since im not social on here i have no clue how many of my mutuals know we're mutuals cuz of how tumblr treats sideblogs) or my follower or someone i follow or just someone i see around a lot here you are all so great and this is a community I'm so happy to be a part of.

Hope everyone has a nice holiday :)

[torunarigha]

2, 7 and 14 x

Thank you alice!

2. three last songs you listened to

Die Konkurrenz by Wir Sind Helden

White Chocolate Space Egg by Liz Phair

Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second by STRFKR

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

tbh the hamilton soundtrack! i tried to get into it earlier because all my friends were obsessed but it took me seeing daveed diggs watching it to get into it and now I really love the songs!

14. three songs you want at your wedding

oh geez this is a hard one because i dont think about weddings much? so i’ll just put some love songs i think are sweet.

Fields of Gold by Sting 

Just the Way you Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra

Nothing Can Change this Love I have for you by Sam Cooke

[selfshipprompts]

hello ive stumbled upon your blog and im interested in selfshipping but im extremely new to this and i have a few questions?? sorry to bother

i was just wondering, how could i pick a f/o and is there a limit to how many i can have? what if i,, have trouble deciding,? i mean this is something that’s for myself only right so, is it really as simple as doing whatever i want?

and another question thats more personal u can ignore it if its too much but, why selfship? I mean, is picking out a f/o just something to get u thru stuff until ur ready for a real relationship? or maybe just, if real people aren’t the same i guess, and u still need to feel some connection? i dont mean this to sound judgmental im really sorry if it does

thank u for ur time!!

it's not a bother, don't worry! im happy to offer help wherever possible - and none of this sounds judgemental, i understand ^^

the TLDR here is: selfshipping is incredibly personal, everyone has their own way about things - there aren't any rules! just do what's right for you, and if anyone has a problem with what you are doing then that's their problem (as i always say, just block.)

ill use a readmore here so i don't clog up the timeline trying to answer your questions! though on that note, as a disclaimer - i am one single member of the community, my word is solely my personal take on things! please explore to your hearts content ♡

first of all, no, there is no limit on f/os! you could literally have hundreds and that is fine. some people have a long list, some people just have the one, some people prefer to keep a smaller list and some people choose not to list all of their f/os. these are all valid selfshippers! sometimes people categorise them into mains/secondaries/etc to tier them, too.

as for picking f/os, just go with whatever you feel. get a crush on a character? take them on a test run. same goes for characters you want to befriend or view as family - selfshipping isn't a solely romantic thing! if you have trouble deciding, then you can go back on your decision. i personally dont purposely seek out f/os, I either get a crush on them (or equivalent for platonic/familial), or I find a character that is my type and I see where things go. you could literally just point at a random character and decide you're dating now lol it really is as simple as doing what you want.

people selfship for different reasons, so again, i cannot answer for everyone. i personally do it for both coping reasons (it's a genuine comfort) and for fun, but any reason is as good as any, honestly! though some people may use it as a substitute for dating real people, some do not desire an actual relationship (a lot of aromantic selfshippers exist! i personally am not aro, but also i am not in any place for a relationship, nor am i interested right now but i enjoy having a romantic outlet) and some people selfship in tandem with real relationships! it just all depends on the individual

honestly the main reason to selfship should simply be: because you want to :)

if it's something you're interested in, then i wish you luck! there's no wrong way to selfship, just make sure you enjoy yourself. no need to force yourself, im sure you'll fall into it naturally if you let yourself.

as a side note to anyone reading this: i apologise for my inactivity both here and on @/tomyfo — i won't bring personal matters to this blog but some serious stuff came up irl so i haven't had the time to keep up. things are settling down now, so i should have things back up and running within the next few days. thanks for your patience!

[bibillyhillsbaby]

♧ hey hot stuff 😛😛 ily bye

oh look who decided to stop bye, it just so happens to be the love of my life 🙄

You’re my: other irl bestie that is not jill, the other love of my life - my sun moon my stars, my past and hopefully future roommate, my future wife, uhhhh my everything, my soulmate if you will?

How I met you: i can never remember when we actually met for the first time but i do remember that one of the first things i ever told you was that my tiddies are different sizes (like, very different) and you took that in stride although i think it did haunt and vex you for a time lol 😘 i remember that i wanted to be friends with you because you seemed like the nicest kindest sweetest person in the whole world (which turned out to all be a ruse.... jk jk)

Why I follow you: because you're the love of my life??? also because i love your main blog aesthetic and posts about art and food - your bts blog because your tags make me LAUGH OUT LOUD on the regular and i can ALWAYS tell it's you before i scroll up to see who it was that reblogged (you are an english major after all, you have a way with words) also just, you are special and you make people feel special - you are the best listener in real life so i can only imagine that you extend that toward all of our friends here ❤️ i know that i cherish you and i know that everyone else in our lil fandom does too because how couldn't they when you're so kind??

Your blog is: i'll do @hazeltae because LOOK AT HOW CUTE HOBI IS!!!!! a soothing green that reminds me of walks in the woods and hikes with you (which, we didnt do enough of them when we had the chance, here's to hiking when we see each other again) - also just you tagging people in things makes me 🥺 you're just so damn thoughtful and kind and i love you

Your URL is: @shelikesperfume is iconic because brandi carlile wlw reasons obvi, and @hazeltae is just perfect like idk how to explain it but it just fits you?? it soothes me when i see and even though you rarely show up on my dash for some reason??? any time you randomly appear it's like coming home - i see hazeltae and im like OH!! thats my baby right there!!!!! (ik you don't like baby but i do sorry bout it, you're my baby)

Your icon is: bucket hat tae!!! sweet and comforting just like you, although your hobi icon on shelikesperfume is truly my favorite photo in the entire world

A random fact I know about you: oooh what can i expose about you in public??? im honestly trying to think about anything embarrassing i can say but to quote you, "i think you're perfect" so i can't think of anything..... instead i will say that when we lived together and shared a bathroom we had photos of us next to a graffiti of the pope in rome next to the toilet because we are strange 😚

General opinion: perfect person who i love so much. i fr fr dont know where or who i would be without you i love you so much - very glad i got you into bts (yes this is my not so subtle way of announcing that i am the one who got you into bts but like who is gonna read this besides you hahaha so it's just for you) - i love screaming about them together, sending each other pics of them when we are sad, and overall having something to get us through this time - to quote bts, "you got me, i got you" always and forever babe 💕

A random thought I have: if you read this right before you leave for work mayhaps i will have made you cry very early in the morning so sorry about that OH but just had another thought WHAT does your queue tag mean??? everytime i see it im like WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!!! am i stupid?? is it really obvious?? please answer my desperate questions okay bye now ily

moots send me a ♧ so i can shower you in love!

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

[fzhrrr]

Wedding stories

Ive been wanting to write about my wedding since, like 3 months ago. Somehow it got postponed every single day coz there’s always things to do. Life after marriage sometimes mean splitting yourself in 3 different directions. Your off days arent just yours anymore. That one off day per week that i got also belongs to myself, my husband, my family, his family, my dirty laundry, my books, my skin and i guess you can pretty much guess where along that list does my blog goes down.

Anyway, wedding stories. Disclaimer, rather than a dreamy- fantasize version of romantic fairy tale, my wedding is far far away from that.

Just last week, we had our sanding ceremony on A’s side. I was surprised that it was probably my favourite (most bearable) out of all three receptions. 

I think the reason being is that we learned a lot of no-no’s from the previous majlis. This time around we decided to wear a traditional ensemble, something loose, not too heavy and just comfortable to be in on a hot day. And i especially love how the pictures turned out. Honestly a teeny tiny piece of super malayness in me kinda dreamed of having this picture. Two pengantin on a simple pelamin, in a songket outfit, headpiece and all. Its the kind of picture you’d hang on your wall and hope to one day proudly show your grandkids. (and they’d probably laugh on how out of fashion we were)

But yeah, it was nice. In Muar I did my own make up, and was so happy with how it turned out. We blew 800 ringgit on make up alone during the akad and majlis in cheras and i was so cranky because it was so horrible. The one during akad wasnt so bad (it was how people deemed make up pengantin should be, but my eyes were heavy and i look jahat in all the pics), but the night time do was just, unbelievable. I was in such a bad mood the only reason i got out of the house was because it was too late, and we cant keep the guests waiting. 

I paid titi athirah, an old schoolmate to do my makeup and she so claimed it was at a discounted price. Didnt want to be so fussy coz apparently 800 is “cheap” for two ceremonies. I said i wanted just a basic look with deep red lips, she then insist on putting lighter foundation to make me look lighter coz its night time, then she had the audacity to put cheap glittters on my eyes and these tacky red gloss on my lips.

Pictured- annoyed me knowing she messed up, and knowing we ran out of time to fix things. Thick brows, tacky lips, orange skin,I look like a russian pornstar- and not the expensive kind.

I spend the whole evening feeling so ugly and embarassed. Yes, thats the exact words. In every picture my face was either grey from the wrong foundation shade or just sour, because i knew i look bad. I dont feel like myself, i was a horrible bride and A had to calm me down through out. I confronted this to titi, and she said to make it up, why dont she do one more service for free. That offer is just pure garbage coz dude, the damage is done and there’s no undo button to reset your wedding day. It is what it is.

I was so uncomfortable that i wasnt fully able to appreciate those who came to my wedding. I was reluctant to say hi, i dont wanna meet people, i just wanted it to end quickly. The crankiness outweighed my happiness of actually seeing friends and family who came to celebrate with us. 

So this was one of the biggest lessons and tips to all brides: on your wedding day you only have one job- to be pretty and pleasant. And the only way for that to happen you need to be comfortable. 

In Muar, there was some miscommunications which in the end lead me to doing my own make up. Oh people were just hogging around me- your eyes are so plain, your lipstick is too pale, your foundation is too dark, your base arent thick enough we can see your pores and human skin imperfections! The comments were so crude up to a point where i stood up for myself and said, can everyone just let me do my make up they way i want it. Because i feel like people can be so disrespectful when they want you to conform to their standard of beauty, without them realising it (cause hey, its only right for them to criticize and diminish the bride self worth on her wedding day)

I aint gonna be homeless-looking-russian pornstar 2.0.

And im glad i stood up for myself.

True, my make up wasnt perfect. Brows were crooked, there were shiny patch of oily skin all over my face. But A said i look nice and comfortable (like my usual make up do), and that was all that mattered. I was happy and glowing and excited to be bride of the day. And it obviously made me happier coz my man knows what i like best for me.

The kampung majlis was lively. Kompang and berarak and that whole shenanigan. Food was good and i ate like theres no tomorrow. The only problem was we didnt know how to pengantin, so after the formal meal we sort of just sat inside and mind our own business. We didnt invite our friends, and we knew <1% of the guests. A has always been the quiet guy and i was definitely not gonna muster up all my strength and bravado to go table to table and greet people. Took a few pictures with my family, pretended to drink water a few times and we went for an outdoor photoshoot with my brother. We really didnt know what to do.

The sun was scorching hot and we just wanted an out from the awkwardness of facing humans. You are the main star of a show people half heartedly come to see on your post postcall day. If there’s one principal i live by, its that you are an adult who can make your own good and bad decisions. You dont have to stay in awkward moments, you are allowed to make selfish choices. 

And we chose an outdoor photoshoot at 3pm. Here’s us, barely able to open our eyes, in a picture where there’s more semak than sweetness. (but at least we got out of the awkward pengantin situation)

Kudos to idi, because this time we didnt have to pay the photgrapher thousands of ringgit for a few good shots.

I feel like this post is getting too long, and i ran out of energy to continue typing. Point is, pae’s married now. Wedding both sides are done so if the stress can go away and let my period cycle, skin condition and blood pressure return to normal that would be nice.

Do take note that being married is magical. And a life filled with love is unimaginably more beautiful than anything you can imagine. My rant is about the wedding, the wifing part i do enjoy bery bery much.

Here’s some random wedding shots for keepsake. enjoy:)

[fanfictionandstuff]

On Requests:

okay so I deleted my old requests post because…no. that can die. so we’re gonna take it from the top!

(this is only worth reading if you are considering actually requesting just btw)

currently im only writing for riverdale…I dont know why but its what Im doing. so thats a thing.(all the characters) (I might write for other stuff later on but as it stands now im riverdale all the way.) I will however leave my old stuff up. so now that we’re clear here are my terms:

I will not Write: 

-BoyXBoy (purely because I dont feel comfortable writing from a guys perspective)

- Smut (just. no. cant. sorry.)

- Cheating, (specifically one of the 2 protags cheating. not the love interest comforting them after an random SO cheats, thats totally cool.)

-TeacherXStudent stuff. (NO.)

-  stuff where the reader is almost Sexually assualted and the main LI saves her. (its not about me specifically and if you really want to know you can ask but…my answer is boring, and I just dont feel comfortable writing that kind of thing.) -chubby reader (my own issues it’s just a quirk sorry)

I will write:

-like pretty much whatever else. I dont have too many issues 

So now that thats clear heres the deal:

if youre not sure feel totally free to ask! I will not be annoyed I 100% guarantee it!

Please dont send requests youve sent to other blogs that is the worst. dont.

Im only accepting 5 requests at a time cuz I already dont have alot of time to write, and I have an ongoing series…so…

I might turn down a request if Im not comfortable writing it. Im warning you now. But Its not like ill make a big deal out of it.  

And thats about it happy requesting!