#i dont expect this post to get a shit ton of notes thats not really why i made it

[demonir]

dude now I'm just sitting here staring at a wall thinking abt how fucked up being lgbt is...

Don't get me wrong I'm happier knowing who I am and I shudder to think what would be of me if I had never found out, there's so many queer people out there that will welcome you with open arms and guide you through or just simply offer you a shoulder to cry on and that's wonderful I love that and we need more of that

But then there's the rest of the people, the assholes that want you dead just for existing, the ones that are less vocally hateful and might tolerate being in a room with you but should you need anything they'd rather let you starve than approach, the "I support you but" people that say are open minded and supportive but the moment you cross some invisible line of theirs you are no longer "one of the good ones" and must be dealt with.

We've all seen these people, they might be strangers, coworkers, acquaintances, friends, family and even our partners and their words and actions hurt like knives. But a lot of us have learned that we shouldn't waste our time with them if we can avoid it, turn around, block them, leave the room, move out of the house if you can, we can do these things

But what happens when the hatred is coming from inside the community itself? I cannot begin to tell you how soul breaking it is for me when I see discourse like "LGBT without the T!" or "Asexuality doesn't belong in the LGBT" or "If you're bi but in a straight relationship then you're a liar/traitor" or "If you don't pass as your gender then you're not truly trans" and these are just some off the top of my head, there are so many more and even if they don't personally affect me it still hurts me to see it so much.

You're not making the community nicer or safer by dictating how someone should exist, there are no "traitors" there are no "liars" there are no "pretenders" everyone is just trying to live their life while staying true to themselves but everyone around them is constantly telling them they are wrong for it, not gonna lie to you I'm sometimes afraid that I'll get someone telling me I'm not truly nonbinary because I'm not androgynous or use they/them and I'm easily perceived as a woman, I get afraid I'll be told that what I'm doing is just a phase by other queer people despite the fact that I've been trans since I was 14 and it took me all those years to be able to come to terms with the fact that yes I love dresses, yes I like makeup, yes I'm fine with she/her pronouns, yes I sometimes find it endearing to be called a girl, but no I am not a woman and I'll never be.

But guess what? being afab carries this weird notion that I am somehow harmless or at least less of an issue than lets see uhh oh yeah amab trans people! trans women get labeled predators, groomers and a danger to everyone around them so often and the punishment for not passing as their desired gender is far greater than anything I've ever personally received. People have let these notions about birth genders and sexualities carry on to their trans views in macabre and harmful ways. You want to be wary of men? sure, there's an extensive history of issues that make your fears rational and justified... but why are you pointing your finger at a trans woman? Because she has stubble or a beard? no long hair? doesn't like dresses? doesn't want hrt or surgeries of any kind? has a deep voice? because she has "male interests"? do you not realize how harmful that is?

That's not to say trans men don't get a similar treatment, but I don't see them being labeled as dangerous and violent even half as much as trans women do, it's this notion that being born with a penis somehow makes you vile or something???? unless you prove to us how innocent and righteous you are by looking exactly how I want you to, staying 5 meters away from me and never displaying any sort of sexual attraction towards anyone ever otherwise I am calling the police on you

That's bogus nonsense and I'm absolutely tired of it, stop carrying societies old and nasty views of gender and sexuality into this community that is about supporting and uplifting people no matter how they want to be, and while we're at it someone's presentation and physical appearance isn't indicative of their morality

I wish every trans woman on tumblr right now that feels afraid to speak up about the current situation or even just their life experiences as a trans person a very very happy rest of their lives, and I wish every trans woman who IS speaking up about stuff a very happy rest of their lives as well

Again just so we're clear, I'm nonbinary and afab she/he he/she whatever order so I should in theory not be the target to any uhh "mysterious" blog bans and stuff, however if my blog dies after this post know that I did not do it myself.

Stand up for trans women always and forever, we are all fighting together and there is no glory in hurting each other

[mysicklove]

this is like super random but do you have any advice for starting a thirst / x reader blog like yours? i've always wanted to give it a shot but it seems like SUPER intimidating because i have no idea how to set things up or even start

hmmm idk if im a good person to give advice but lol whatever i will!!

for the basics, i would recommened starting with a masterlist and rules, and you can build on other navigation stuff after that. a pinned post usually draws ppl in, bc its easy to navigate your blog!! and then just find a theme. i did a toga in the beginning and now a hanako theme, bc they are one of my fav characters, but u know there are tonnnnsssssss of themes and u can do whatever u want to! have fun with it 🥳

^ let me know if u need help figuring out how to link things, add colored/special fonts, banners, dividers, ect. i had to figure out through trial and error and that sucked LOL

in the beginning, dont expect to get many notes. if you go into it thinking about notes, you are going to get dissapointed lowkey. just relax, its not that deep, and eventually ppl will find your account with time. dont rush it!! but like i said, dont prioritize notes. i still am struggling with it, and so r other writers. it doesnt define ur writing at all. i had a one sentence post get like 3k notes, and then a 14k fic get like 400. literally notes dont mean shit, tumblr is weird.

also another thing. dont expect to get anons. or at least alot of them. in the beginning i had like no anons and i was lowkey kinda sad about it. but im telling u, as ur blog gets bigger u will get some. its nice to have anons in the beginning, but kinda unlikely. if smaller blogs r seeing this with tons of anons, good for you!! just idk didnt happen to me lol.

moral of those 2 paragraphs: i just dont want u to ever feel bad about notes and interactions. u may see other blogs get tons, but they have been established for alot longer than u. so do not stress about it plssssss. ive seen too many blogs make themselves feel bad because of notes and anons. and including myself, i would get unreasonably sad over something so fucking stupid.

big one: write for urself, not for others !!!!!!! once kinktober is over im bout to write an ungodly amount of hybrid and a/b/o shit, which alot of ppl dont like, but fuck it LOL.

last tip (ig?) walk into ur blog like its ur own space. dont be intimidated. i shit post and say embarrassing ass shit all the time to almost 2.5k people. its ur space, say what u want. i think thats really important. if u do make the blog, have FUN WITH IT !!! dont care what others think, make it ur safe space.

and be my mutual!! i will reblog ur stuff!!

[mostlymaudlin]

Hi! For ao3 wrapped I’d love if you answered 5, 12, and 30 😊

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

this SHOULDN'T have surprised me, but bangable was my first outright smut piece for aftg, and i laughed when i woke up the next morning and my inbox was POPPIN. i feel like aftg fandom is usually p quiet in the comment section (or im just spoiled by the richness of simon snow fandom), but people were SO READY to talk about this blowjob hahahha.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

oh man LOL. theres a short answer and a long answer and im gonna go for long bc maybe talking abt it all will hold me accountable for finishing stuff.

ok so like technically i have 1 million wips. jk. technically technically i have 41 aftg wips (and ENDLESS more simon snow wips), but most of those google docs are resting in peace in my "wip graveyard" folder. they may be resurrected one day but who knows.

so more accurately i am currently sitting on four wips! all aftg.

my hs au We Can Live Forever... which i actually completed the next chapter for! but i dont want to post it until i finish the one after bc i kind of leave it off on a mean note. i might post it anyway so that people get mad at me and motivate me to keep writing though...

what i have dubbed "slut au," in which our favorite resident ace neil explores sex. its sitting at 20k rn, about halfway thru the plot. very messy atm. about 60% smut.

my secret aftg winter exchange fic

my (NEW AS OF A FEW HOURS AGO) secret aftg mixtape exchange fic

im also p much always playing w flash fics, AAAAND i have been thinking abt revisiting this old au i was working on last spring where neil works at a froyo shop. i actually wrote an entire first draft for that -- i think its sitting at like 12k but its a complete mess. i think of her tho... the found family vibes were v good...

OH and i am seriously considering doing a magnum opus andrew POV fic. i need to move into my own apartment in order to accomplish this because i want to like. really go ham analyzing the books and scaffolding that plot bc if i do it im going to tell the same story but with a very different structure i think. and i cannot do this in my current living situation. so that would probs be my Fic of 2023 if true.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

cheesy. but more than anything i think i've come to know myself as a fiction writer this year. ive always written fiction in bits and pieces, and ive done a shit ton of professional nonfiction writing. writing snowbaz last year felt good in that i was finally writing regularly, but switching fandoms upped my confidence because thats when i could finally prove to myself that i wasn't just copying rainbow rowell hahaha. WHICH LIKE she definitely continues to influence my writing but i think ive developed my style in a way where its more my own now -- i don't lean on the style of aftg the way i did for simon snow fics. and while andrew is undeniably NOT my character, ive done a lot of work around the way i write his POV that im proud of. and this makes me think that if i wanted to write original stories i could... even tho i havent rly come up with a story i want to tell on my own just yet!

from this ask meme!

[intricatemelo]

haiii!

i’m melo. i’ve been around this community for over 3 years but always just been lurking as an anon.

but i finally just made a blog to post my thoughts and feelings regarding the ccs i mainly watch! (that being tommyinnit, molly melinks, tubbo, coy piso & f1nn5ter)

i’m sure there will be talk about other people as well like averageharry and maxggs, etc. but i thought i should make it clear from the off who this blog is MAINLY about.

just to give some context as to what my relationship with these ccs are like i’m gonna give you a little rundown on them:

tommyinnit: been an inniter since november 2020. not as invested in him nowadays as i perhaps was previously but i still keep up with it all! this being due to a combination of tommy himself stepping back from content and focusing on his ”comedy” career and the fandom over time getting smaller and less interesting.

molly melinks: i watch every stream! mostly vods because i’m terrible at watching stuff live. i really love her and find her adorable :3

tubbo: tubbo has basically been my ”secondary” streamer ever since i got into the fandom almost 4 years ago. I definitely watch more content from tubbo nowadays than i do tommy, but thats mostly due to tommy barely making shit. it should be added that i dont really particularly care for solo tubbo streams but i LOVE him in group settings. i’m a HUGE tubbiso shipper which should be noted and i’ve been on that wave since they first originally met in early 2023. obviously i love clingyduo, him and molly, etc as collaborators as well :p

coy piso: i’m actually quite an og piso viewer, i started watching him back when him and caiti were best friends and did tons of collabs. his real name wasnt eve known at the time! it completely blew my mind when coy and tubbo became besties because it was like my 2 mcyt worlds collided. again i ship/truth coy and tubbo heavily, so expect tons of delusions and copium.

f1nn5ter: been a f1nn viewer since 2021, my interest intensified extremely last year when he met his girlfriend (ashley/icky) and they became an ”on-screen couple.” since then i haven’t missed a single piece of content and i think its fair to say i’ve been obsessed lmao.

feel free to send asks, partake in my delusions, and talk about any chosen topic at hand! this blog is mostly just for me to ramble and just post whatever thoughts i have at the time about whatever cc i mention, but i’ll happily respond to asks and talk about other topics as well :)

[eternityservedcold]

i think i crystalized a little bit of my thoughts now that im actually at bros death in the comic. so basically the reason i feel like the lotak shit comes out of nowhere is for these reasons:

"d4ve has to hide away food in his room" is fucking stupid. like blatantly, its just. earlier mspa levels of silly. are you really and truly going to tell me that bro doesnt keep any food in the fridge either? i really think that if it were to be taken seriously it should be like a "going to sign your fucking leave form in crayon" level prank.

the rooftop fights are not really treated as any different from the other guardian strifes. i feel like this is so self explanatory it just wastes my time explaining it to you but aside from there like. being more of them. what is the actual difference between "bro harassing his brother with a puppet in a way that is blatantly meant to be humorous" and "j0hn attacking his dad with a hammer over cake"? what is the difference between "d4ve falling down stairs with a fucking sbahj reference" and "r0se threatening suicide in front of her mom, who is blackout drunk"? what is the difference between "bro slicing d4ves cheap piece of shit in half" and "j4de playing around with her grandfathers corpse/repeatedly shooting her dog in the head"?

bro, after a supposed show of "the requisite daily helping of domestic abuse, wait I mean ninja training" (direct quote from the author commentary) that d4ve experiences... continues to be shown by the narrative as a cool dude who does cool things. cutting the meteor to buy his brother time, repeatedly battling noir, and even teaming up with the alt version of the person he supposedly abused in a cool fight scene. i mean thats just like. not really the behavior i would expect from a character that the author is trying to say is a bad guy

the abuse thing literally isnt mentioned by d4ve prior to the lotak conversation. like literally at all. there are 4,044 pages (and three in universe years/four real life years) between d4ve finding his bros body and d4ve talking to d1rk about bro. not once does he speak of any abuse. and obviously i dont think the guy should be a 100% open book but its like. theres no inkling of this, textually, until the literal second it is happening. from the character who has the second highest word count of any character in the comic. sure ill believe that (sarcasm)

some other misc scruples that dont fit the format of this post:

d4ve is a victim of sexual abuse. this gets like half a mention in the entire (checks notes) 9,158 word conversation that consists of over 1,000 lines

he would not fucking say that. the entire convo is just "he would not, under torture, admit that". especially to a stranger especially especially if that stranger is wearing the face of the guy hes talking about are you fucking serious.

i am almost 100% certain this is the author incorporating edgy fan theories rather than anything he had intentionally planned and it fucking sucks when the fans did it too

i really dont give a shit about d4ves problems on the level where i would like to read a conversation about them that is, again, almost 10,000 fucking words long.

this is at the very end of the comic, after a shit ton of waiting to get to the climatic final battle, and then its more waiting, and not only that, its making me read a bunch of long ass conversations with deliberate filler panels, and the characters are lampshading that theyre waiting

[snowthedemonfox]

imagine having a pinned post /j but anyway heres my pinned post

hi!! my names snow, i mainly go by she/her but the occasional they/them is fine. just dont overdo it lol. im an adult and i make terrible life choices!!!! i love talking to people but im terrible at starting conversations so... yeah. i love getting asks though!!! they make my brain make the happy chemical !!kofi link!! (i dont do requests due to stress so kofi is just for if anyone wants to help support me <3 no pressure!!)

i also got a strawpage feel free to send me silly drawings i will put them up on the fridge

^^^ thats me!! and my fursona ref if anyone wants it :3!!!!!!!

◈if you just want my carrd, here you go: snowthedemonfox.carrd.co ◈here for my art? id suggest heading over to @demonfox-art if thats the case ◈i also do commissions! status and prices can be found HERE ◈NOTE: you might be here because you think ive blocked you. i tend to block for a variety of reasons, but im more than happy to unblock because tbfh i tend to forget why i blocked someone in the first place. so if you wanna chat about that, my dms are open. also mobile tumblr sucks and sometimes i accidentally hit the block button while im half asleep

◈im more than happy to tag posts if needed, but please keep in mind that i am still a person and i have issues with remembering stuff, so i may forget to tag stuff. ◈due to this, please do not expect me to constantly tag posts everytime. ill do my best, but again, i forget easily and may not do it for every post.

◈kindly asking that if you have a problem or issue regarding me that you want to discuss, please message me. dont send me asks or tag me in posts, it really makes me freak out even if its over something small like a misunderstanding! ◈uhh what else do i put here.... i used to use google+, i have a fursuit, i sometimes write stuff, i have a shit ton of ocs, uh..... ◈oh. and im autistic!! but normally people tell me its kinda obvious soooo

◈if you're looking for my art tag, here you go: #snowgems art ◈oc tag is #snowgem ocs ◈fanart tag is #for me

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 12]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, overstimulation, tiniest mentions of daddy!kink, a lil bit of a filler chapter!, this is the most btsvt chapter that it’ll ever get so i’m sorry if you dont like that!! 😭😭, a bit of a lighthearted chapter too tbh to ease everyone back into cherry bomb! 💕 I know its been like two fuckin weeks since the last update which is honestly insane to me! I almost couldnt remember where we even left off lmao kdjfhds 😩💕💕 Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting it out while we had two weeks of Monster Mash! Starting Monday, I’m gonna be going back to my normal posting schedule! 💕 have a great rest of the weekend, yall! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - ?

“Wait, seriously? You want to work here? But--but I thought you were from out of town?”

Jun’s eyes light up with excitement; fingertips crushing the resume you passed to him moments prior. “Um, well, there was a change of plans… and I’d really like to work somewhere where I have a friend! If you guys are still hiring, that is...” You reply back meekly.

It’d taken you all morning to write up a resume, blushing a little when you realize most of your income had been from camming. It’d also made you pause for a moment when you realized that it meant Jun would also know your real name too; as well as everyone who came through the diner and all of your coworkers.

“Yeah, of course! I, um, just give me a second to pass this to my manager, okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word!” Jun shoots you a wink before he turns to leave.

You take the opportunity to sit down at a nearby booth, fishing for your phone to text Seungcheol.

‘I think I might be getting the job!!’

cheollie ✨: oh? Not that I doubted you, but is it confirmed already?

‘Mm… Jun is trying to put in a word for me! But I’m confident!’

cheollie ✨: thats my baby ;)

You hear someone call your name hesitantly, only to find Jun standing a few feet away looking at you sheepishly. “Um, sorry, your name’s on the resume so I figured…”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s fine!” You awkwardly giggle. “I figured writing ‘Cherry’ as my name wouldn’t be too smart when you need to cross-reference my ID if I get the job.” Jun laughs as he takes the seat across from you in the booth, papers in hand.

“Well, I convinced my manager to let me interview you. Told him that if we’d be workin’ together that I’d want to scope you out for myself! He bought it, can you believe it!?” Grinning, he sets your crumpled resume down next to a small stack of papers. “I don’t doubt you’d pull your weight around here but I do have to ask… Why here of all places? I thought your, uh, other job was enough? Or I guess I assumed...” You bite your lip, flip-flopping on whether or not you wanted to let him know exactly what happened that led to your sudden decision.

“Um… There were just some big life changes I had to make on the fly and I’ll be living around here now! I’m trying out some new things… I also figured if I worked with you, then you’d know my schedule the best too! And you seem like a really nice and cool guy.”

Jun nods, smiling back at you.

“You got that right!”

“You’re seriously going to start working there?” Jeongguk raises a brow, cables in hand as he sets up the extra PC in his streaming room. “And the guy working there knows you? That doesn’t bother you?”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “Yeah and he knows me now too. And knows I’d kick his ass if he tried anything.” You pout from your place in the expensive gaming chair; eyes focused on Jeongguk who shimmies under the desk to start plugging in the cables.

“Well, yeah he does know me, but he’s also one of my regulars and knows the schedules I’ll need, so I think we can trust him!” They both nod and Seungcheol is quick to cross the small room until he’s right behind you.

“He seems like a nice guy though, I don’t think we have to worry.”

Jeongguk slides out from underneath the desk, dusting off his pants as he stands. “And if he does end up being a weirdo, there’s always a place for you at the roller rink!”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, hands gripping onto the backrest of the chair.

“No.”

“Hey guys, welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m JK, your regular host! Today, we have a suuuper special guest! Why don’t you introduce yourself, pretty lady~”

You take a deep breath as you lean in close to the mic; somewhat nervous and a little out of your usual element. “Hi everyone~ I’m Cherry! Some of you may know me from, um, the other side of the streaming-sphere but I’m joining my friend today in hopes of boosting our channels together and having a ‘lil bit of fun!!”

Seungcheol sits at the side as he watches the two of you; a small smile painted on his lips at the way the two of you seem to fall into your characters easily despite the somewhat different platforms and influx of different viewers.

The sound of donations and comments pour in a lot quicker than Jeongguk, himself, is used to; eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he pauses to watch them flood the screen.

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

xcaliburDK has donated $100

sleepy_wonu: never thought i’d be donating here but here we are

xcaliburDK: i was always a silent watcher but u kno i had to donate for my favorite girl!

seokGENIE: i feel like i’m entitled to something for taking your shift so i wont be donating, sorry pretty girl

j__min: can’t believe this kid got a collab with you before i did :(

j__min has donated $200

dtsug__a: i dont normally watch streams either but im curious

Jeongguk laughs, still in disbelief as the donations continue to pour in from a combination of your viewers and his. He always made a decent amount from his viewers but he couldn’t deny the pull you had from your viewers as well. “Wow, um okay, my donations are adding up a lot quicker than they usually do. That’s… Hey, whaddya say to streaming with me regularly?” He jokes. 

A shy laugh bubbles up your throat; ears and cheeks burning hot at the idea. You had never collabed with any other streamer before and despite your initial hesitance and unsureness, you too, were shocked to find how well the two of you were doing without your usual content.

“Erm, I’m not very good at gaming though… I don’t think your viewers would like it very much...”

seokGENIE: thats ok jk sucks at gaming too, it wouldnt be too different

j__min: lmao fkjdhf

dtsug__a: does he get roasted often on this channel? If so i’ll be tuning in more often

dtsug__a has donated $100

dtsug__a: for your troubles, pretty gal

“On second thought, let’s let this be a special occasion, huh? Maybe collabs for the holiday, Cherry?” Jeongguk grumbles and Seungcheol has to bite his lip to keep in his laughs from his side of the small room. You start to feel more and more comfortable at the lighthearted atmosphere; tucking a stray hair behind your ear before you lean in towards the mic again.

“Ah! Speaking of, don’t forget to tune into my camshow tomorrow~! JK and I will be gaming on there as well but… with some added fun to match my channel~! 21 and over only~” You blink at the computer screen, still a little unused to the idea that you weren’t technically being filmed. Although, it was a nice change for once; not needing to be all done up for a show and simply just talking to your viewers and reading comments.

sleepy_wonu: is dom daddy gonna be on the show too?

“Dom daddy? Oh you mean Se---”

“Yes! Kind of!” You cut off, laughing nervously. Nobody knew Seungcheol’s name except for Jun and you were trying to keep as much of him private as possible, until he was ready. “In a sense, he’ll be there! You guys will just have to tune in to find out!”

Jeongguk laughs into his own mic, scooting in closer to his desk as he loads up the game.

“I think that’s enough chatting for now, huh? Let’s get started! Tonight we’ll be playing Phasmophobia! We’ll be playing something more lighthearted on Cherry’s channel, as she requested. So tonight we’ll be playing something I picked out. You ready, baby?”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes, quietly taking a sip of his water.

“Ready when you are!”

“I gotta say, sweetheart, for someone who doesn’t play video games too often, you’re not too bad.” Seungcheol comments, nodding his head in amazement as the three of you exit Jeongguk’s PC room. He’d had a hard time keeping in his laughs as he watched from the side and he had to admit, you were even cuter when you were outside of your usual element.

“I have to agree with hyung, but maybe it was also the adrenaline and screaming that kept you goin’.”

The two males share a laugh as you pout and plop down onto Jeongguk’s living room sofa. “Hey, how were the numbers for tonight, by the way?” You ask quietly.

“Honestly? I think we made almost triple of what my channel usually sees. I know I don’t really make a ton off of my streams since I don’t really do anything, like, crazy but shit… Even I’m shocked at how much we made.”

Seungcheol’s lip ease into a smirk; Jeongguk really had no idea how much the two of you had made off of a couple videos alone.

“We still have one more stream to do and then we can just pool up the money and split it down the middle!”  

Jeongguk nods, stretching as he sits himself down onto the other end of the sofa. “I’ll bring my spare PC stuff so we can set up a little early tomorrow, if that’s cool with you two? Maybe have some food before we get started too ‘cause god knows I’m gonna be starving.” You look to Seungcheol who nods and checks his phone for the time.

“Yeah, we need to set up the cameras and lighting a little differently too so we’ll probably start earlier. Just text me before you drive over so we know when to expect you.”

You yawn next to Jeongguk; adrenaline having worn off as the tiredness finally sets in. “It’s so weird, usually I’m only just starting my stream right around this time but I’m so exhausted now...” Seungcheol’s eyes from cute crescents as he smiles down at you, stepping closer as he goes in to smooth down your hair.

“You really were screaming a lot, to be fair. How about we head home and you can sleep in the car?”

“Okay~”

Seungcheol lets you sleep in on Saturday morning, watching as your chest rises and falls with soft breaths.

He takes a moment to think over the last few weeks of his life and he can’t help the disbelieving expression that crosses his features when he realizes just how much had changed over the course of just weeks.

When the two of you had met, he wasn’t expecting much. He expected the two of you to hang out for a few days before you went home and forgot he even existed outside of your camshows and the comments section. But now that so much had happened between the two of you, Seungcheol felt a deeper connection to you and felt the need to protect you even moreso than ever.

He sees you shift slightly, sleepy eyes blinking open as you peer up at him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Mm… g’morning ‘cheol…”

You grimace sleepily at how hoarse your voice sounds, “Ew, I sound so… gross.”

Seungcheol moves to get out of bed, leaning in to kiss your forehead before he shuffles towards the bathroom. “I’m going to wash up but you can stay in bed if you like. I’ll make you some tea for your throat, okay? We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t think you wanna sound like that later tonight.”

Nodding sleepily, you lay back down as you yawn and let the sleep take over once again.

“Are you really sure ‘bout this?” Jeongguk takes a bite of his pizza as he watches Seungcheol pull the desk closer to the bed.

“What do you mean?” You ask; readjusting the light that was closest to the younger male. “Like, I dunno, I’ve never been on a cam show like this so… I mean do I have to do anything different?” You laugh lightly as you go in to pat Jeongguk on the shoulder.

“No, just be you. And we went over it already earlier, the only thing that’s different is going to be me! No weird tricks or anything, I promise.”

Seungcheol places another monitor on the tabletop, grunting as he goes. “Yeah, and in all honesty, I would hate to have to watch you get off, ‘Guk.”

“Oh shut up, hyung. You say that like I don’t know what you’re packin’ under those sweats. I think it’d only be fair! Just two bros getting to know each other.” Seungcheol pretends to gag just as you double over in laughter. “No, absolutely not, ‘Guk. And also, nobody told you to watch those videos!”

Jeongguk pauses, lips pressing into a firm line. “You right, you right…”

You leave to get changed just as Jeongguk starts to help Seungcheol set up the last few bits of equipment. He leans in close to the older male, eyes glancing around the space to make sure you were completely out of earshot. “Hey, hyung, honest question.”

“Sure.”

“Are you really okay with all this?” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he raises an eyebrow at the younger male. “What’s ‘this’ exactly, ‘Guk?”

“Y’know, her living here and you camming all of a sudden, among everything else really… And the question if you’re in love with her which, by the way, we still all know that you are.”

A blush coats Seungcheol’s skin, fingertips almost losing grip of the camera he was about to mount to the desktop. “Listen, yes, okay, I do… like her a lot. But she’s going through a lot right now too and I don’t want to freak her out either. There’s a lot of life changes we’re going through so I’m just going to ...wait.”

“You’re a good man, hyung.”

“Hi everyone!”

You wave to the camera, winking and blowing a kiss to the camera propped up between the two monitors on the table. “I know, this setup is a little wild and not my normal but this is part two of my collaboration with Golden Closet Gaming! Do you want to introduce yourself to those who missed our other stream?” You turn to Jeongguk who nods; this time a little nervous as he stares directly into the camera.

He’d said he was okay with being filmed since he wasn’t actually part of any sexual acts, but he still found himself a little camerashy now that the two of you were live.

Seungcheol sat directly behind the monitors and cameras; his phone open to your cam show to watch from a different angle.

“Ah, hello! I’m JK of Golden Closet Gaming! I’m a friend of Cherry’s and no we won’t be fuckin’.” Jeongguk ends with an innocent smile that has you holding back your laughter.

therealchan99: i dont think dom.cheol would like that very much anyway

universe_WZ has donated $100

universe_WZ: unless he’s into watching

dom.cheol: no

alphagyu97: oh shit hes back

angelhan: huh, so hes not there?

“Oh, he is! He’s behind the camera~” You gesture beyond the camera to where Seungcheol sits and he leans over to quickly wave upside down in front of the camera to prove his existence.

j__min: ah, of course~ we know your daddy would never let you play with anyone else~

j__min: he likes you too much ;)

emerald.tae: oh? also hi new watcher!!!

emerald.tae: ur videos were great!!

emerald.tae has donated $200

therealchan99: im gonna need to start fighting ppl for ur attention i swear

gentleman_josh95: implying u had it

chwenon: yooooooo lmao

“You guuuuys, be nice! Just for that, I’m gonna be sending you a special private pic, okay ‘therealchan99’? You guys pick on him too much!” You pout.

therealchan99: hahaahhAHhhahaHAAHAA FUCKIN LOSERS SUCK ON THAT

tangerine_kwan: bruh

chwenon: damn guess we should can it

You respond to a few more comments as Jeongguk sits by and watches the way you interact with your viewers. He also takes note that you had a donation minimum before you started actually doing anything on your channel and that you’d already hit it pretty quickly.

“Okay! I think we should start now, huh? Oh, I should explain what’s going on!” You giggle cutely, settling into your space on the bed. “So JK and I will be playing this stilt man game! We have to get our character to the finish line without falling or the level restarts! JK has to get to level 30 and I have to get to level 20 and whoever reaches their goal first, wins!”

“I have a higher level to reach ‘cause our skillsets are different and we all know I’d smoke her if we both had to reach the same level.” Jeongguk grins.

seokGENIE: sure

seokGENIE has donated $69

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $100

“And the reason why ‘dom.cheol’ is behind the camera is because...” You pause, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you stare directly into the lens. “In order to get me to do my best, he’ll be controlling a special toy I’m wearing~ Hehe, if my character falls, he’ll raise the vibration setting each time as punishment and leave it on until I cum…”

“Which we are assuming will be a lot. Unfortunately, no medic on standby.” Jeongguk jokes. Seungcheol rolls his eyes as he laughs from behind the camera.

“We have a safeword, don’t we, sweetheart?” You nod in response, “Mmhmm!”

“Let’s get it!”

It takes all of four stages before your character falls for the first time.

Seungcheol turns the vibrating panties on and you immediately jolt as you try to keep your character upright on screen. “Oh, f-fuck!”

kitty_junjun: uh ohhhh it begins

artist8hao: i don’t think she’s gonna last.. babygirl is so sensitive, she’ll probably cum soon

xcaliburDK: i’m giving it until level 6 before she cums

emerald.tae: oh are we placing bets

“Noooo~ Don’t place bets on me, I’m weak!” You whine; already squirming as the vibrations attack your clit. Seungcheol grins from in front of you as Jeongguk laughs from your side, already on level 7 on his own screen.

You had to admit, it was a little weird for someone else to be in the room with you while Seungcheol basically used a toy on you, but the younger male seemed to not care about it at all. Although, he had already seen most of you and Seungcheol at this point.

Your fingertips are shaky on the keyboard and computer mouse; already fearing the way Seungcheol’s eyes almost become darker the longer you struggle.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is the game too hard?”

“A-ah, n--no, it’s not that b-bad…” Squirming, you grind down a little harder onto the bed just as your character falls on screen and Seungcheol raises the setting to the second highest in the blink of an eye. “Ngh, fuh---fuck!”

“Uh oh~ Should I slow down to let you catch up?” Jeongguk teases.

“N-no, I can beat y-you!”

The donations and comments pour in as you struggle to keep your calm and get your character to the finish line; letting out a sigh of relief as you finally enter the fifth level. You let out a choked sob as you already feel your panties starting to stick to you like a second skin from how wet you were getting and Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.

“You know, you’re technically allowed to cum whenever you want. It’ll just… slow you down, is all.” Grinning, he watches as you look beyond the camera towards him as you pout.

“But I--I wanna win!” You cry; palms clammy as you try to rush through the fifth stage, only for your character to fall almost immediately. “Nooo~”

Seungcheol clicks the vibrator to its highest setting and your body goes rigid as the vibrations wreck your body. You start to grind against the toy as you chase your orgasm and forget about the game almost completely. In a perfect world, Seungcheol would have his cock snug between your walls, but instead you clench around emptiness as you crave his cock.

artist8hao: ah shes already cumming lol

seokGENIE: on level 5? Fuck

universe_WZ: her cute lil cunt cant take it, poor babygirl

seokGENIE has donated $50

emerald.tae has donated $75

alphagyu97: cum baby, u kno u wanna

alphagyu97 has donated $75

A small choked whine is all you can manage before you do cum; eyes clamped shut and fingers wrapped tight around the computer mouse as the waves of pleasure crash down onto your body. Donations and comments flood the side of the screen from a combination of your viewers and Jeongguk’s as they watch your face contort in pleasure.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re really falling behind~ JK is going through the stages so quickly while you’re sitting there cumming~” Seungcheol teases. He licks his lips, simultaneously wishing you were sitting on his cock while you played your game.

That’d have to be for another time, he thinks.

It takes a second for Seungcheol to turn the toy off and your body immediately slumps forward as you catch your breath. “Ngh, d-damn it…” You grimace when you re-adjust yourself and find your panties soaking wet.

“I’m already on level 17, babe. You gotta catch up!”

You can only groan in response, flexing your clammy fingers before you try to focus on your own screen again.

kitty_junjun: oho looks like our princess is focused now

tangerine_kwan: u got this baby

j__min: show ‘em who’s boss, babygirl

You tune out the sounds of the comments and donations as you manage to get yourself to level eight without falling, but level nine proves to be just a little too hard as your character falls and Seungcheol turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting again.

“Be careful, baby. Wouldn’t want to fall behind again would you?”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats as he watches you bite your lip. And for the first time all night, he wishes that Jeongguk would just win and go home so that he could have his own private time with you.

“I’m on level 22 already. D’you think she can even catch up?” Jeongguk teases. He spares you a side glance, taking in your form slumped closer to the table as you try to fight the vibrations.

Your body was already extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and you quickly losing your confidence as you struggled to keep your character upright. If you came even just one more time, there was no way that you’d be able to beat Jeongguk with how quickly he was going through the stages.

therealchan99: she’s cumming just as quickly as JK is getting thru the stages hfdsf

gentleman_josh95: shes so cute when she cums tho

angelhan has donated $50

angelhan: thats the real prize angel

“T-thank you…” You whimper out, fingertips twitching against the keyboard and mouse as you focus your attention to the game to the best of your ability. 

You manage to get to level ten with no more issues just as Jeongguk gets to level 25 and you let out an exasperated sigh as your character falls over again. “Uh oh~ I think I’m gonna win!” Jeongguk cheers; giddiness washing over him as he works to get to the end. 

“Nooo~ That’s n-not, ah, fair!” Whining, you grip the mouse tighter as Seungcheol raises the setting on the toy again, watching as you rub your thighs together at the feeling. 

hoshi_tiger_xx: sadly nothings fair in the gaming world babe

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

dtsug__a has donated $50

dtsug__a: cute for thinkin so tho 

“I don’t th--think I can, hah, c-catch up...” You moan. Your character on screen falls over one more time and all you hear is Seungcheol’s small ‘tsk’ under his breath as he sets the vibrator to the highest setting and leaves it there. 

It doesn’t take long before the vibrations prove to be too much for you and you let go of the keyboard and computer mouse as your hands ball up into fists on top of the table. 

The pleasure washes over you in sharp pin pricks; small whines and whimpers falling from your lips as your eyes completely clamp shut. 

Jeongguk lets out a surprised noise at the way the donations and comments almost make the screen lag and for the first time, his character on screen falls over at his split second loss of focus. 

“Ah, fuh--fuck!” You start to squirm once the pleasure starts to bleed into overstimulation and Seungcheol is quick to respond, “You’re gonna cum one more time as punishment for giving up, sweetheart.” 

alphagyu97: ooo she's in troubleeee

gentleman_josh95: ahhh daddy still has to punish you after all 

seokGENIE: damn is this what this channels abt? this is hot 

artist8hao: babygirl always misbehaves

chwenon: she seems to like it too much 😏

dtsug__a: hooooo shit, thats hot 

“It’s n-not my f-fault, hah, JK is j-just good at g-gaming...” You mumble. 

Jeongguk manages to get to level 30 within the time you sit and grind against the toy; small noises of excitement falling from his lips as he cheers for himself!

“Aww, poor baby. Maybe you’ll focus a bit better next time, hmm?” 

You nod frantically as a small tear slips down your cheek and your lips part in a breathy moan. “God, I--I’m c--cumming!” 

Your body locks up, ears ringing as you cum one more time. Seungcheol wishes he could work you through it; hands massaging your skin as you take your pleasure or thrusting his cock into you as he chased his high with you. 

Instead he watches from across you as your body twitches as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss, licking his lips the entire time with images of what could’ve been dancing behind his eyelids. 

Jeongguk watches as the donations far surpass what the two of you made on his channel; brows disappearing into his poofy head of hair. “Wow, uh, y’all seem to really like it when she gets punished, huh?” He mutters under his breath. 

“Don’t you?” Seungcheol teases. 

“Truuuuue.” 

A garbled moan has both of their attention on you as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit. “Ah, ‘m too sen--sensitive now...” You cry. 

Seungcheol turns the toy off completely as your chest heaves in deep breaths; pouting at the fact he wasn’t able to enter the camera frame to take care of you. 

Jeongguk grimaces slightly at the way your body sways in tiredness next to him, unsure of what to do next now that he’d won. 

“Haha, um, medic?” 

[enderspawn]

so now that we’ve had a few days since the syndicate stream, i think ive managed to cool down and step back to look at it more neutrally. ended up long and pretty rambly since its all pretty flow of consciousness so its under the cut, but heres some thoughts on the syndicate (and a bit on c!techno, since hes the originator)

in universe, techno has only just heard a new place was made. he doesn’t know jack abt it, so he goes over to check it out and learn whats happening. he meets w tubbo, who explains they arent a gov, and accepts it then goes. hes hesitant abt the nukes, but frankly? also understandable, they are nukes. any kind of mass weapon of destruction is something to look out for, same as if tubbo revealed his own wither vault. 

i think the reason that i, and many other ppl, had such a NEGATIVE reaction to what is a mainly harmless and completely reasonable interaction is. well, bc we’re the audience. we KNOW more than c!techno does. we know that snowchester very explicitly was formed without a government because they’re afraid of techno attacking. we know that the nukes are made to defend them, based off what happened to lmanberg. we know that ranboo joined partially to try and spare snowchester if worst came to worst. 

the reason we the audience were afraid of him going is bc we feared what would happen if he DID deem it a gov. bc we know the effort they’ve done to NOT be one, bc we have a connection to the town that c!techno doesnt. 

after then came calling the syndicate/techno tyrannical. after all- if they strike down every government then they are forcing ppl to follow their beliefs under threat of destruction or death. which is uhh pretty fucking tyrannical. 

the thing is that in the end the syndicate hasnt even done enough for us to like. KNOW if thats true. techno himself said hes totally fine w just group of people living together, hell hes in a damn SYNDICATE. you can def argue in general abt what gives the syndicate the right at all to decide if a gov deserves to exist, if being “”the deciders”” makes them inherently hypocritical. (this also is pushing that “they decide” bc, well, w the exception of tubbo now, theres very little chance the other ppl would win against techno and crew. it Would just be decimation. if they attack, they’re destroying it all). 

after all, they preach abt giving ppl the right to choose but then dont let them choose to form a gov. paradox of tolerance i suppose, since in anarchistic views there isnt like a “non-corrupt” government so every government is worth dismantling. (note, this is all based off my p limited understanding of anarchy theory and also Very Simplified for ease of speaking)

another reason we the audience may have been so afraid is bc, historically, techno doesnt lose. he may suffer personal losses and feelings of betrayal, but narratively hes won every battle hes really been in. its the status quo, so any possible conflict in the future you kind of expect the same. we were afraid of any kind of conflict starting. 

i think this stuff does kinda work in character too. c!tubbo admits himself he doesnt rlly know government stuff, and he doesnt seem to really know what techno would or wouldnt DEEM one- thus he has a similar fear to the audience of being struck down for it. ranboo, like stated before, partially joined bc he was afraid FOR snowchester. 

again i get that anarchy is against that greater establishment, but theres something to be said for the fact that. well. this is a block game. its systems work a LOT differently than real life, and real life anarchist theory may not transfer over well. there are a lot of good posts ive seen recently analysing lmanberg (specifically early lmanberg) and like. it genuinely worked to protect its citizens. they were able to pool together their resources and man power and protect each other from outside threats that would overpower them seperately. there IS no big overarching societal and deeply built in system to overthrow like in real life, if anything “having a government” IS the new system trying to form instead of anarchy (bc, to my knowledge, lmanberg was the first real “government” and the dream smp’s gov kinda formed as a response) it could def be another reason so many ppl are against enforcing anarchy-- this isnt the real world, and being in solidified groups could help the weak. without that, instead its the strongest survive and thrive while everyone else suffers. 

(then again to devils advocate my own point, a lot of times they’re referring in those posts to a time where wilbur, who was actually “in charge” wasnt around a ton, so there was less of a power structure in place. also, you CAN still have a group of ppl without being a “gov” (like snowchester or the syndicate) but then we get back to “what is a gov by the syndicate’s standards” as well as if they want to remove a gov at its start or JUST when it seems “tyrannical” (so if they believe a gov is inherently tyrannical). like if i started a direct democracy gov and explicitly called it a gov, do you take it down? its taking the opinion of all citizens and allows everyone equal power. is that corrupt just bc its ALSO a gov, or does it get to stay? where is the line?  idk man maybe give the gov like a free trial. if it starts being corrupt then step in but if they’re vibin they’re vibin. chill w the anarchy /lh /hj JFKDLSJF)

idk man this isnt fully conclusion imo i just wanted to long think abt this. also fuck this block game for getting into legit political theory and ethics and shit. “is someone valid in doing something for another person that they believe will help the other person if it limits their personal freedom” (or, is techno correct in enforcing anarchy bc he believes it is the best form for ppl, EVEN at the cost of their personal freedoms to make a gov) is too deep to be asking for a fuckin block potato pig. this is why i dont do a ton of discourse im just stupid and it starts getting philosophical at some point FDSKLFJ

yall can respond w your own thoughts to this if you want, even debate it!, but idk if ill respond bc uhhhh Brain Empty fdjsklfj i just wanted to ramble and sort out my own thoughts on the matter now that im not uber pissed at c!techno JFKDLSJFKL

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

This is the last ask ill send because im honestly tired of this whole thing

I dont know why you brought up the anon hate you got when that’s no part of the discussion. Even if it isnt your intention, you’re making yourself out of to be the victim when you arent. You say you want to get better but each time something gets pointed out you get on the defensive. I dont know why you decided to bring it up, but now that you have: Piama is indeed whitewashed on your drawing. “Warm lighting” doesnt change peoples undertones like that. Compare it to Piama’s last two cgs if you really don’t believe me.

Even if you aren’t affected, you need to be able to recognize it without poc having to tell you in order to be a good ally. I wouldn’t want a straight friend that lets people make homophobic comments about me in their presence and then hear them say “it doesn’t affect me so i couldnt tell it was homophobic so thats why i didnt defend you”. If you aren’t able to recognize it then you’ll inevitably repeat the same rhetoric. Racist rhetoric is everywhere and spewed every single day so you cant expect poc to be with you all the time and take you by the hand to tell you whats racist or not. Those are the reasons why you need to learn how to identify it by yourself, be listening to poc, by developing critical thinking skills, by not surrounding yourself with only white people. If not there’ll be more unchallenged asks such as one i saw recently that pinned poc that complained about yet another white route “stupid because they dont get that lovestruck releases routes by demand”. As if we have no concept of nuance.

No one is obliged to accept an apology, especially after what happened. I dont know where you got that idea from, especially when it concerns something that hurts people this deeply. And I didn’t point it out what happened just to be petty, I pointed it out because it isn’t an isolated event but a pattern of behavior of unchecked racist comments. That was simply the worst case: It was handled poorly, considering mod viv herself never apologized and again, swept it under the rug. The apology I saw from mod wrath was vague, didnt address the situation directly, was posted on this blog so no one knew what was going on, and was later deleted. So yeah she can apologize ten times and it still doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Especially if it’s that catastrophic because it looks like its more about saving face rather than feeling remorse, even if she did feel bad. You’re too eager to call it just “a mistake” and pin me as the unreasonable one.

And I want to ask you, have you truly seen with your own eyes an interaction where someone said to the other “if you like vinca you’re racist” and was completely serious?Or have you heard it from someone else saying that they were told that? Because considering that other anon watering down a woc’s criticism of lovestruck as “she doesnt like white people or this blog” then yeah i wouldn’t trust anything else coming from their mouths. People are getting too pressed over the millionth white woman in the app. Hell even if it happened, it’s probably what, one, two people? But you’re lumping all of us together as if its been a wave of saying that. The valid criticism surrounding Vinca is interconnected with Nahara’s release (one of the few dark-skinned women in the app) considering people kept saying they’d rather have a Vinca route when Nahara’s was announced. They’re not even willing to support it just because they want Vinca’s and that sends a message to voltage. So it simply doesnt boil down to “well its a difference in personalities”. Im gonna go as far as to say that if a woc had the same attitude as Vinca, people wouldnt be frothing at the mouth for her or they’d delve into the realm of fetishizing (as some people are bordering the line with Piama). But thats a whole other topic. And since people want to act stupid: all of the white characters in lovestruck are white because voltage made them that way. They could’ve quite easily made them a poc, but they rarely do. Think about what that means then, if youre really trying to defend yourself by saying “well they put out whats popular”

Lastly, you should really evaluate the content and beliefs you put out when racist people are still comfortable following and interacting with you. This is why i want this discussion to be public: your followers need to read this and apply it to themselves. Because considering the amount of anon hate you said you got yesterday towards the other blogger, theres a bunch of your followers who need to get off their phones and learn to care about other people and stop being racist assholes.

Believe me, I’m tired of it as well.

I brought up the anon hate because I didn’t want you to wonder why I was posting your asks in this form.

And no. Piama is not whitewashed. I took a dropper tool and took the color directly from her sprite, and if you’d looked at my blog, you would’ve seen that I sent screenshots as proof in response to that ask. But you obviously didn’t, so I’ll send them here again. (1. Without lighting. 2. With Lighting.)

If you still don’t believe me, you’re welcome to call me on Discord and I’ll share my screen and show you the entire process. And as an artist: You’d be fucking surprised what lighting does to colors.

Well, yes, I need to be able to recognize it indeed. The thing is: I can’t always. I try my best on this, and there will be moments and issues that will come up, mistakes I will make because I’m not perfect and not a machine. And in those moments, I’d love to have a friend that affectionately slaps me and says “JD, that was shit.” So I can apologize and notice it the next time. I have had multiple friends be transphobic to me in certain ways. I’ve informed them about it. They apologized and haven’t done it since. We’re still friends to this day. I do try to educate myself on racism and put in some work. I don’t expect POC to do all the work for me and explain to me how to be an ally correctly, and still - I hope they help me just as I help my cis friends with trans stuff. I can’t magically change all my behaviors and overcome internalized societal racism with the snap of a finger. If I could, I fucking would have already done it multiple times. The way it is, I’m working on it. Again - I’m sorry I didn’t point out the racist comment in the ask. I should’ve done that, and I’ll make sure to do it in the future.

You’re right no one is obliged to accept an apology. You’re right this hurts people deeply. And as I said - Mod Wrath apologized three times, including one on her personal blog which was a lot less vague. Mod Viv also apologized - to the person in question, in private. Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And the thing is - if you refuse to accept her apology, that’s one thing and fully your right. And the thing is: If an apology is not going to make you forgive her, if ten are not, what do you need in order to forgive? Will you never forgive? Will you always argue it’s going to be an apology to save face when you don’t know the fact she does feel remorse? How will you see that she does?

I did hear the Vinca thing from a friend of mine. Whom I trust. Because seriously, why would you make things like that up? Who would even get the idea? I’m against the idea of believing my friends would lie to me for attention or whatever. And yeah, the criticism of that anon was unfitting - I’ve visited the blog they claimed was doing that and I found nothing of the sorts, so that comment was unfitting unless I missed something. I never intended to say that it’s all of you saying that. I intended to say that some people are handling the issue wrong. I’m sorry it came off that way. I do believe though that it’s people’s full right to say they’d have preferred Vinca over Nahara. I would’ve preferred Vinca. I still read Nahara tho. However, it’s not yours to dictate which routes other people have to support and which not. I will however agree with you that people should give Nahara a chance - it’s quite the sweet story. And I for my part would enjoy a POC Vinca just as much as a white one. (Also, side note, you’re making it appear as if everyone would either fetishize or rage over her, which is very much putting all of the “white” fanbase into the same bag, the same thing you critizised me for earlier. It’s understandable from a psychological point of view, tho, so I’m not gonna comment further.)

Yeah, Voltage makes the characters white, and that’s an issue people can only fix by demanding more POC in the ask posts and comments. Which many do, btw. They put out what is popular indeed, they put out what is demanded, and I fucking demand more POC. I want it. They could’ve made so many LIs POC and they haven’t and I’m fucking unhappy about it too! I’m not even trying to say anything else.

Yes, making this public to arouse thinking is a good policy. The followers need to read this indeed. And we didn’t get anon hate for the other blogger. We got anon hate towards us. Tons. Comments that went as far as telling mods to kill themselves. And while I agree with lots of the things you say - some of the ways you’re acting actively spark this type of hate. There is being loud about the issues you face, and then there is calling people racist assholes based on a comment they made instead of talking to them personally and telling them that’s not okay, giving them the chance to improve themselves instead of always having them stamped as a racist. Just because you’re the one who’s hurt, the one who’s morally correct, does not mean anything you say or do is good behavior. 

You told me I whitewashed Piama when you, with a minute of research, could’ve found proof I didn’t. You obviously wanted the internet to see, maybe hoped I’d get exposed? Could I get an apology for that? And I promise, I’ll accept it because I’m willing to believe you’re a good person.

Summary of everything:

You’re right with lots of things.

I behaved wrong and I’m sorry.

Lovestruck has an issue with racism that we need to change together. 

Together. Without toxic behavior from any side.

- Mod JD

[fizzysquish]

I'd really like to hear about your opinion on the ahit fandom if youre ok with sharing? love your writing by the way!!

Oh wow I actually didn't expect anyone to wanna know yifhfkhck

And thank you!

Alright this is.. Gonna be long and most likely have some spelling errors every now and then but bear with me.

Tw- talk of pedophilia, swear words

Tldr at the very bottom

The ahit fandom..

...sucks

But also doesnt? Its kind of hard to explain. In general, if you just glance at the fandom it will either come across as pure or as a shit show. This fandom has some serious problems.

This fandom has a lot of drama happy people in it. Im not going to name names or anything, cause there's no point, but it does. A single scroll through the tags will tell you that much. And this isnt me saying 'people can't have opinions' or what have you. What im saying is that there are people in this fandom who live just to stir up drama and make others angry.

Or, in a lot of cases, instead of just saying a persons opinion, they'll swear up a storm and say they hate certain people or call certain types of fans 'the problem with the fandom' and like.. That just makes you sound like an asshole honestly. And it hurts people, too.

(And nobody can tell me it doesn't. Ive had to reassure too many venting and upset friends because of it. It hurts people.)

Also, because you know I have to mention this and it fits perfectly after this first paragraph- subcon. Snatcher.

I legitimately do not understand why some people hate snatcher so much. And I also cannot understand why some people will specifically target snatcher fans at times.

Snatcher is a big comfort character for a lot of people. Wether its for personal reasons (ex- mine is because of my own past dealing with abuse and trauma), or if its just because they make someone happy.

Snatcher is a comfort character, and the whole story surrounding subcon is so so interesting and fun to explore? And so what if people enjoy it? I can understand that it can get frustrating seeing so much of it, especially if you like something else, but that is no reason to target snatcher fans (or.. Any fans in general) and/or make people feel bad for having fun.

Fuck, thats how you make people leave the fandom entirely. I understand it can get frustrating, but just.. Try to be nicer? Try not to make people feel bad for having fun? Please?

And before anyone tells me "it's not about that!", i want to point out that I often see posts like "don't let the snatcher fans see this-" and other things along that.

If you want me to believe its not about that, prove it. Cause as far as i can tell, it certainly is.

(Also as a note- who cares is someones thirsty??? Like

Just block them and avoid if it bugs you so much?? It's not that hard dude)

-THIS PARAGRAPH MENTIONS PEDOPHILLIA, SKIP IF NEEDED-

Another serious thing to mention is the pedophilia in this fandom. Feel free to skip this part  if it makes you uncomfortable, but its something i need to talk about.

There are pedophiles in this fandom. Ive seen the art and the fics (no matter how many times i scrub my eyes, because its disgusting and horrible and just- eugh-). There are pedophiles here and its easy to come across them because they just.. Aren't afraid to post in main tags. People follow them. People support them. Granted, not everyone, and generally most people know to avoid em, but they're still there. They havent been kicked out or ostracized. And it disgusts me.

I know this whole paragraph could be argued that "that doesn't represent the fandom!" Or whatever but.. This is a younger audiences welcome game guys. Its advertised as 'the cutest 3d platformer!'. Kids can and do play this game.

There is pedophilia in this fandom, and i feel its important to mention.

-END OF PARAGRAPH-

Also, some people in this fandom just.. Suck. Plain and simple. Some people in this fandom are just genuine assholes. And said asshole just like harassing others and causing problems. There's a literal shit ton of drama and problems with this fandom, and honestly it's.. So dumb??

This is literally just a video game and people are just having fun. If there's a problem, treat it like a grown up and either ask the causes to stop and why, or block and move on. Simple.

Now lets move onto the good parts of this fandom, yeah?

First of all- there are some serious sweethearts and amazing people in this fandom. While there are some that suck, there are more that are actually just here for a good time and to make good content.

Ive met some of the nicest people ivs ever known thanks go this fandom. Ive created friends who I seriously consider family. And most people ive talked with or even just ran across have been pretty cool.

This fandom is also generally very welcoming to new people (minus the assholes), ive noticed. Some people get into it really easily just because eveyones generally friendly and supportive. Which is always great!

Also, the fanworks people in this fandom create. Can i just talk about how fucking talented people are??? Its pretty amazing to see how people create things for this fandom.

People will take the story that gears for breakfast showed and they'll run with it, and create these amazing au’s and stories and 'what ifs' from it. Its just.. So amazing to watch people use what we've been given just weaved it into something.

(And this isnt even going over the mods and the stories those create, which always amaze me.)

So with all that laid out, do i think the fandom good or bad?

...i think its both.

The fandom itself has some serious problems in it. It gets unnecessary drama nearly every other month or so for no reason. There are some truly disgusting people and some absolute assholes, but the majority of people are actually pleasant, fun to be around, and welcoming. As long as you be careful of who you follow and use critical thinking skills, its not so bad.

Im not going to lie to someone and say it's all honkey dory. In this fandom, you will inevitably interact with either a creep, an asshole, or both at some point. There is a likely chance that you will have your feelings hurt in some way in this fandom. Ive see it, ive heard about it, ive experienced it.

All that being said, if you curate your viewing, follow people that seem/are cool, and use the block feature (don't. Debate it, if youre unsure about someone just block em)... Its a very fun fandom filled with both heartfelt creations and memes, and has plenty of potential new friends.

So its both good and bad, yeah.

Tldr-

Fandom has lotsa issues but overall is fun, just make sure curate your experience for yourself and dont let what drama pops up or what assholes say get to you.

[kareofbears]

persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago

disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post. 

now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!

1) Akechi

so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form. 

I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.

back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)

2) the ending

just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life). 

But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved. 

Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5. 

3) the entire last semester 

i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.

what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun. 

one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.

4) everything else 

- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!

- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what  i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much

- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.

-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE

-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to

-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much

- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy

-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up

- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces

- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality 

-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall

so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again. 

I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)

[tired--nb]

tell me about your ocs. al of them

sdjfjhsgd?? really?? i have alot so i hope its ok that i just talk about my two new ones and maybe an old one of mine also its under cut because i have no idea how long im gonna go on oof 

Ok lets start with Lynn Evans ((imma recap what i said in the other post for my own sake sorry jahf)) She is a 15 y/o first year at U.A. She started going there while Mydoria was a second year. Her homeroom teacher is Present Mic (at least for now idk how sure i am on the decision) and like I said her quirk is Singing boost. She can boost anyone with in ear shot so she in battle would have to stay back and help her team from afar and through mic so that villians can hear her, and when dhe is boosting weather it herself or others he loses a lot stimina. Depending on the tone (or sometimes even the words) of a song itll boost different things and the best way she can tell is doing a small test with her brother with each new song she decides to sing. She is a trans girl but no one at U.A. but her homeroom teacher and the principle know. She socially transitioned after middle school and before she went to U.A. Though when she told her parents her mom fliped her fuckin shit and was like ‘I didn’t rase my son to be a pussy and I expected better from you how could you do this to me’ and left Lynn and her dad the next day her dad was completely understanding though he accepted her and said he will do everything in his power to help her. And because hes a tattoo artist they have a little pact that when she overcomes a big obstacle of being trans he puts a small music note on her wrist she right now has 8! This was also out of her suggestion because shes always wanted music note tattoos and this way they have a lot of meaning to her at the same timeOk about 2 years later her dad decides to adopt another kid and that when he goes and adopts Joseph. When they first got him they were told he was quirkless and they were ok with it but turns out he had a quirk he just really hated the foster home he was in so he just never used it out of spite for them. And like i said his quirk is orbit.This means he can make anything (under his 10 lb weight limit) orbit him like a satellite when he touches it with the palm of his hand! And if he wants it to stop orbiting him he can either just grab it or fling it out of orbit but when he flings it he cant control the speed and it can get pretty dangerous. Then when he hits his limit his vision get blurry and its hard for him to hear so he tries his best not to hit it. Also orbiting animals makes he tire quickly.Also his palms have the area that activates his quirk a lot darker than the rest and everyone just thought it was vitiligo but nope just his quirk lol Then he looks up to his sister and Uravity alot His sister because he sees her as like the strongest and best person ever then Uravity because their quirks have alot of similaritiesThen as for Lynn’s Dad and mom i dont have a ton of info on but ill say what i do have!Her dad, Steven, has the quirk boosting touch that he uses while he does tattoos so that they both hurt less and heal faster! Though his quirk only works when he has a fully hand on the person and its only for that limbThen her mother, Sophia had the quirk lullaby which puts one person (the first to hear her) that hears her into a haze like stateOhh then Lynn looks up to the Wild Wild Pussy Cats alot and wants to be on a team like them! Tiger is her favorite because hes a transboy (canonly!!!!) and it makes her feel alot better about herself knowing there are other trans heros. Then personality wise Lynn is the quiet type that keeps to her self only really talking to her friend Micheal, though once you get her talking or rived up about something its alittle hard to get her to shut up lol then she also had bipolar depression and takes meds for it She also has been taking martial arts classes since she was 5 and is shes a purple belt at the moment! Anyways if theres anything else you wanna hear about her or any of her family hmu this was mostly just me info dumping to hell and back lmao 

honestly the rest of my ocs are old and not nearly as developed oof i mean i have a lavender pearl that worked for a high class gem and was very fuckin gay for pink diamond, then i have an old oc that is a fox human hybrid named Renee and was originally a undertale oc that had a huge crush on sans (cringy i know leave me alone i was like 11), and then all of my trolls i made forever ago and just dropped oof, I also have an old creepypasta oc named neono that wore neon colors and was obsessed with fire lmao, then i also have the characters that were gonna become a game/comic but the other person who was working on it with me left ;; Baer had lot of development but id have to explain the entire game to explain it and teddi had some too but he wasnt my character to expand on oof then tom was mine and hes just a murderer. Then i also have an oc thats a demon and she had all her limbs cut off and her eye jabbed out so her demon form has floating limbs and is a cyclops now that i think about it she was p developed too damn i know she also had a glass prosthetic arm from the elbow down and the knee down

Ah anyways i went on for a long time sorry about that also sorry if i pitied you into sending me an ask about it thats a shitty thing to do i was just really annoyed and i apologize for itbut legit thank you so much for sending this is made my day oof??? sorry if it makes no sense 

[thecharlesdilaurentis-blog]

7x19: FArewell my lovely

*WARNING SPOILERS*

"Hanna monas AD." GIRL U ARE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH YALL GOTTA STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS SO QUICK EVEN WE COULD SMELL THAT RED HERRING FROM A MILE AWAY

"I'll convince her" ok yea Caleb cause y'all are secret agent friends we all know it just admit it already    

Ezra talking like he knows AD personally or something, like he's been the one getting texts or something. I see u Ezra u can't fool me.

But he was right about everyone in the room making mistakes & the look on everyone's face when he said it HA I loved it

Ooooo looks like AD stole the game back "time for pie"??? Is that not screaming EzrA to anyone??? especially the crows.

Mary really does seem like she's the nice twin but I can't help but think she's still more involved than we think

"It took me so long to finally get here w/ you, I'm not gonna loose it now." MY EMISON HEART UGH EMILY YOU DESERVE THE WORLD ALI BETTER GIVE IT TO YOU

 AD PUT A GAS LEAK (But nothing ended up happening so i’m confused wtf marlene)

Did anyone else notice how when the video of ali kept playing on a loop she wanted emily to quickly turn it off, almost like she didnt want anymore questions raised about ‘That night’

"I'm not interested in you doing anymore sacrifices for your friends" BOYYYYYY IF U DONT GTFOH WITH ALL THAT THE ONLY SACRIFICES SHES MADE SO FAR ARE FOR YOUUUUUU OMG I AM DEAD I HATE EZRA I LOVE IAN HARDING BUT I HATE EZRA 

YEAH OF COURSE MONA LOOKS NERVOUS SHE STOLE ADs GAME AND THAT ASSHOLE KNEW & STOLE IT BACK I WOULD BE NERVOUS TOO SHE ONLY GOT INVOLVED IN THIS CRAZY SHIT AGAIN B/C HER POOR LIL HEART STILL WANTS TO BE ACCEPTED BY YALL UGH IM SO MAD

Hanna the only one who ever gives Mona the benefit of the doubt now that's a somewhat real friend lmao

"You two are fighting like a married couple.." AWKWARD we are. Spaleb who??

Lmao Caleb annoys me a lot now but I am not gonna lie dude has BALLS idk if that's a good or bad thing tho.

But like I said before him and Mona are too comfortable around each other. Look how easy she's talking to him and how calm he is with her. They have to be working together they just have to be!! (Not like as AD but idk as investigators to track AD or something, they know each other tea choices THERE AIN’T NO COINCIDENCES IN ROSEWOOD)

"There's always been someone watching, manipulating." Girl yes I been saying this since day one!!! Bethany young, twincer, wren, ezrA you may make your appearance now.

Lol I knew that waiter left a note from AD, like u said Mona, they be watching

 By the looks of Mona running they had to have said meet me in the back or something, Mona READY to see who keeps jacking her games lol

ANOTHER SECRET PASSAGE WAY GAH DAMN ROSEWOOD PROBABLY GOT THE WHOLE DAMN UNDERGROUND RAILROAD UNDER THERE

YES ARIA TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS I LOVE IT AT LEAST SOMEONE IS 

Come on though I knew that body was gone the minute I realized they left it in the car

I'm not mad that they reshot the classroom scene or that it ended up being a dream but I would've much rather the dream be Ali's than Emily's dream the "emma thornwald" name would be a lot more relevant b/c how in the fucking world would emily know that. & why put that scene as the cliffhanger?? That's so anticlimactic! They could've put the liars burying Rollins but not showing who it was, or charlotte clutching the rose, or fuck even the fucking girls sipping mimosas w/ Mona would've been more climatic than that shit. 

"AD doesn't get notes they give them." Finally someone has a clue, go Caleb I get points. 

Btw idk if I really enjoyed that spaleb moment or if I just really love Troian & her amazing acting, her whole part in that scene was just perfect!

Was it a little weird to anyone else that Alison was the one who apologized to aria first?? I think it's because she knows she still has her own secrets/mistakes that haven't come to light. 

Ooooo I bet this tunnel that spaleb is in is going to lead to the church and radley. 

So Mona must have a split personality disorder or something cause the way she's telling on herself to Hanna and how she's dressed just give off a total old school Mona vibe like radley Mona vibe. Hanna really fucked up by letting her fuck with that game she should've just killed charlotte and GOT GONE GIRL. lol Ali 2.0 forreal this time.

I also figured she had some altercation w/ charlotte that was the only person I could see her saying "am I supposed to be scared of you?" Too lol I love ceces sass.

I love how Mona knew everything & I also think it's funny but slightly choosy how charlotte said "you always were the smart one Mona, not spencer."

I think this charlotte flashback is the FUCKING BEST THING EVER

Ceces such a bitch it almost doesn't seem like she's the charles she explained in her story. Like literally she’s not charles.

So I guess Mona does have a personality disorder and she's even convinced one said that the liars are actually her friends wow I'm sad. I love her :(

& I think it's now clear cece was planning to start the game right back up again but this time bigger and better it seems "not only did u lose the game you lost the story, its mine, everything's mine... god I hate this town I guess I'm supposed to do something about that too."

Fuck janels performance is EVERYTHING I am loving this flashback!!!!!

But did anyone else notice how we never actually SAW mona push the body off and fake the suicide. She could’ve ran and someone else came and covered it up. Like mona said to hanna she didnt mean to mess it up but what exactly did she mess up?? she didnt cover up the murder someone else did.

I think Hanna spoke for everyone when she said "not really an answer"

I told y'all Mary was gonna take the fall

Wow andrea Parker did so well at playing both Mary & Jessica

In the end im still confused and my brain hurts

OKAY SO, obvi alot of my predictions were a miss but I did get a few, I knew mary was gonna take the fall, I did see a few ali clues not a ton though maybe ill find more in the rewatch, I was right about mona getting into a fight with charlotte and somehow being involved in her murder & the episode did feel like a lame finale so I guess thats pretty good! This episode was amazing from start to finish they really kicked it into high gear for these last few episodes i’m finally seeing a picture in this crazy ass puzzle we call PLL. I’m trying not to expect alot from the finale but I just really hope it is as satisfying as all the cast say it’s going to be.

After this i’m really starting to hop on board with twincer, ezrA, or even Toby after seeing the finale promo. I’m going out of town for the next week so tomorrow i’ll post my finale PLL theory & then ill be off til the finale! It’s been real guys and although i’m ready for closure i’m also going to miss reading everyones amazing theories and all the possibilities this show could have gone with.

Tell me all you last minute theories!!! I wanna know what everyones thinking before the finale and how we all see this shit tying together!

[fitnesstips1017]

Fitness Tips

anonymous asked:

🍦🎀 // In your 'About Me' it says you like working out, do have any tips you could share? :)

-as @phantomrose96​ said in this post ‘Prioritize your own happiness. Put your happiness first and foremost and above everything else if you’re planning on taking up a diet and exercise routine.

Because society has done an incredibly malicious job of making diet and exercise about self-hatred. I don’t think I even need to explain this one. Marketed diets and exercises always come with taglines about “buy this product and you’ll lose [an unreasonably large amount of weight] in [an unreasonably short amount of time] and then you’ll look exactly like this bikini model and finally, finally, after all these years and years, you can stop hating yourself!!!!!!” **

( ** “Disclaimer: We’re the ones who made you start hating yourself at age ~10 because we’ve been bombarding you with images and messages that say your body isn’t good enough and you should hate it and change it.”)

That mindset is toxic, and malicious, and cruel, and absolutely mentally and physically exhausting to live with if food and exercise are suddenly only about weightloss. So many people, and young girls especially, will attempt dangerous, unhealthy, desperate things to alter their body to society’s ideal, and society will encourage them to do it.

For the love of god, do not approach this as a means of punishment against your body for not being what you want it to be. It’s debilitating.’

-Dont drink your calories, get rid of soda juice etc -Best drinks: water, lemon water, green tea, apple cider vinegar water (tastes like shit but youll get used to it after a while)-You cant outrun a bad diet. You cant run 5 miles daily yet eat junk food and expect to have a flat stomach, unless your metabolism allows that.-PPL HAVE DIFFERENT BODY TYPES!!! SOME WILL HAVE FLAT STOMACHS AND BIG BUTTS WITHOUT WORKING OUT AND EATING SHITTY AND SOME WILL HAVE LOTS OF FAT AND NOT MUCH FAT IN PLACES THEY WANT (LIKE BUTT) THATS JUST LIFE-Do NOT compare yourself to other people holy shit it WILL ruin you-Do calf raises while brushing your teeth or even just standing around-Squeeze your booty as much as you can esp while sitting, they help make your butt bigger-If  you want a bigger butt you NEED to eat. You need protein and carbs but HEALTHY ones, like chicken. Not donuts (tho treast yo self)-You CAN gain weight while being vegan!! @fitnika is proof!! Some foods w lots of protein are beans, nut butter, quinoa, lentils and tofu.-If you want a bigger butt you should use weights. donkey kicks will lift your butt, they wont make it bigger. exercises that will build booty are squats lunges deadlifts hip thrusts etc-Do NOT be afraid of using weights!! You will not instantly become bulky-Drink lemon water (1tsp lemon juice in a cup of water) first thing in the morning-Eat at the dinner table. if you eat in front of the tv or snack while walking around, you will constantly associate that activity with eating-Snack on celery. it takes more calories to digest than it contains so you lose weight -You cannot lose weight and gain muscle at the same time. you can lose weight and tone up, but not the other way. -Get rid of alcohol and drugs-Do NOT work out every day!! your body needs time to rest-Drink a lot of water but you dont need 8 cups. you just need to drink enough to make your pee clear. -Dont drink a full cup of water straight in one chug, instead take small sips every few minutes. this will lessen bloating.-You. will. bloat. whether you eat a donut or a salad or half a cup of water. your stomach WILL expand. -Take it easy. you WILL mess up. there will be days where youd rather jump off a cliff than workout and there will be days where you get to the gym but not wanna work out after 10 minutes of stretching and there will be days where you wanna workout for 4 hours. dont do that tho.-My tiny waist workout (trust me this really freakin works) : side plank raises 4x20 each side, plank twists 4x20 each side windmills 4x20 each side -Find a workout partner, it will motivate you 10x more and you can give each other ideas-Using smaller plates/bowls will make you feel as if youre eating more since the food will be so crammed on it-MEAL PLAN!!!! not only will this make you eat better but you will also be saving a TON of money!! some of my fav ppl on youtube that meal prep are whitney simmons and heidi sommers-Eat the healthiest part of the meal first and work your way downwards-Drop the fast food/going out to eat-Cut back on sodium and sugar-Carbs are energy!! but just like everything, it needs to be taken in moderation-Dont buy premade stuff. salads and smoothies are healthy yeah, but if you buy them premade from stores or restaurants, you’d be surprised by how much sugar and sodium they actually contain.-Cellulite stretch marks and loose skin/fat ARE normal. we all have them. dont stress.-25 min hiit sessions are more effective than 40 min moderate workouts.-Don’t try to ‘’fix’’ your hip dips. They don’t need fixing and are 100% natural.

-Don’t pay attention to JUST calories, look at the rest of the label too. For example, soy sauce is only 10 calories per serving which sounds ‘healthy’ right? What you probably don’t pay attention to is the fact that it has 1040 mg of sodium per serving, which is 43% of your recommended daily intake.-Make sure to have a plan. Is today arm day? leg day? have your workout typed up in your notes.-Brush your teeth 30 mins after eating. It’ll help stop cravings (dont brush directly after cause i read somewhere eating loosens your enamel and it strengthens back 30mins later and idk if it true or not but better safe than sorry)-Eat before going to the grocery store. You’ll be full so you wont be tempted to buy extra food/junk food.-Chewing/sucking on ice for some reason helps me stop my cravings ( or at least lessen them) so maybe they can do the same for you.

all i can think of atm haha. if you have any suggestions/corrections go ahead and add them!!

*im not a certified nutritionist or fitness expert or anything this is all from common sense, stuff ive learned over the years and stuff ive picked up from others please dont sue me if you disagree w something im broke*

Post taken from  independentassbitch

https://independentassbitch.tumblr.com/post/163004212965/in-your-about-me-it-says-you-like-working

[wazm]

kinda lost blog

I just wish to feel genuine joy in my life. I'm so afraid of chasing my goals cos what if I get to where I need to be and it's not exactly what I want. nevermind trying to reach for my goals cos I've been doing that..working every day..trying to bring myself closer to my goals but fail...struggling to sit down and just write music...i can't get myself to do it... I can't get myself to create anything.. I procrastinate the things I'm supposed to do with irrelevant big tasks..trying to distract myself constantly... I just feel empty inside...

what makes my hallow chest even deeper is the fact that all my relationships remind me of the bad decisions I've made..and theyre, not even bad decisions..its just meh...average..nothing worthwhile noting really..combined with abunch of negative outcomes...like he fact that i know a shit ton of people but i have zero real friends...i once had a friend who knew me for more than 7 years but he never exactly knew his boundaries...he’d show up to my house unannounced...id never get space...but at least i still had a friend..id do countless favors for him and never ask him anything in return but giving me space...one time i tried distancing myself from him and when i started to notice, he got so offended...after this happened, we never spoke to months...probs the longest time apart since we’ve been friends...then we kinda rekindled things...and he decided to plan a guys trip to bring us closer together...trip was okay...but ended really bad...he blocked me off everything..games, facebook, whatsapp...everything...he lives up the road from me...but ive never seen him since....idk if its a blessing or a curse...i hope things are okay with him...he wasnt the smartest but he was smart enough to comprehend certain sitautions ive been going through...good enough for me to vent to and console me...thats kinda all i need sometimes...but no more of that...he was kinda my bridge to a group of other friends we had...and after the boys trip it was like i lost everyone..social life took a hard knock...im sorry..just wish you trusted me more...

i tried filling the void by making my gf do things i did with my friends...never went down well...she just seems like someone who never knows how to have fun anymore..we used to have interesting chats..i was so inlove with her, I never saw her flaws...and she taught me this word “resentment”...well its not tht i never saw her flaws...i just chose to ignore them..and told myself that things will get better, and she’ll grow..and change...but i feel like shes been making me more like her since we’ve been dating...i swear i did so much things before her...but we’ve been together so long, i dont even know who that person is anymore...i bet, even if i left her, i wouldnt be able to bounce back...and the odd thing is that, when we started dating almost 5 years ago, i made it our philosphy that we are individuals in a relationship, we are not the relationship but it seems like she wasnt even herself back then and started being me...and now its like, shes nothing without me and my whole life has grown so much onto her, i kinda feel the same in return...just less attached to her since i felt like i was feeding her nucleas...might be exaggerating but homegirl cant initiate anything without me. nevermind choosing a meal when we go out, she cant even make a plan without needing 90% input from my side...and thats how most things are between us...if shes upset, ill fix it...risk my life and beyond to fix it...physically have done this many times before...walked from my house to hers at 2am in the morning, through the ghettos, more than a kilometer away..even been gun pointed and got things stolen from me, just to make her feel better when she was upset in the middle of the night...im not expecting that in return but she lits does the bare minimum in return...id be sad, then she be like...awww...im sad you’re sad...done..thats it...she’d lits be like...what can i do to fix things....again wanting my input...i might as well be dating myself...idk why im with this girl anymore...i hurt inside everytime i tell her i love her...cos i just dont anymore...and its been like this for a while...i wish she found this post and decided to leave me..cos i cant leave her...ive broken her heart so many times and told her i wanted to leave but i just end up coming back to her cos im sucha fucking pussy seeking some sort of social acceptence or friendship and i feel like shes all i have rn...not much of a gf hey...but its not like im worth anything either...idk...im so paranoid shes cheated on me in the past cos shes lied to me in the past and told me 3 years later about those lies...you know when someone lies to you and then when you find out about the lies and you ask why’d you do it and shes like...idk...i just feel like its lies ontop of lies...really cant trust her....i wish i had it in me to cheat on her...but i just dont like most females...id be infatuated with someone but would be put off so easily by the slightest thign...things would make so much sense if i was secretly gay but im not...the longer i seem to be in this place, the deeper im digging my grave...i feel like the time with my almost 5 year relationship feels like its getting harder to leave the longer i stay in it....i really dont know what to do...but i feel like i fuck up most of my relationships...not just my romantic one...

my relationship with my parents are just a nightmare...same goes for my other family members...and you know what...i do so much for people...countless favors...countless volunteer jobs...extra miles for people who wont even move an inch for me...but just let me mention this to anyone, then im in the wrong...i just feel like i cant voice any shortcomings to anyone and im made out to be the bad guy for doing this....whether its my parents or my sisters...id do everything for them, and i do everything for them, even things they dont ask me for...but let me raise an opinion that doesnt resonate with them, and it turns into an argument and if i decide to step out before things get sour, im still made out to be the bad guy cos how dare i do something so rude....i just feel like no1 wants to listen to me at all...for my last birthday i tried staying away from my family and decided to work on a few movies with my friends and i had fun, we arent the closes friends but, campus friends...theyre actually in a whole other faculty..so we just barely know eachother but we’ve worked on movies before and thats kinda our history together as friends....so its my birthday and i agreed to work with them on this day...all day..from like 7am until almost 10pm..and my family, not communicating with me, decides to go out for supper for my birthday...and just expects me to leave this project im working on for them...so they invite people to join them for this birthday supper...without having me there...anyways after i finished my day shooting, i was pretty smug about working instead of spending the day with my family...and on the last few moments of my birthday my sister makes a shitty comment, wanting me to shut the fuck up cos she doesnt have the energy to listen to my voice..it really broken my heart, how my whole birthday was spoilt in moments....wish she couldve just waited a tiny bit longer...i wouldve been happy with that..but naa...no1 wants to listen to anything i have to say, let alone have me around in their presence....i just feel like starting a new life somewhere else...and thats kinda what i had planned...

really thought i was going to leave south africa and immigrate to australia to go sound study there...filled in all the paper work...spoke back-and-forth with the uni over there and they extended the communication so long, i thought things were set...seemed like i was so close to getting the big change ive been seeking for so long...but they sent me this stinky ‘ol email with extra modules id have to do and the tuition fees went from $11,000 to $35,000 which is ridiculous as my countries currency isnt australian dollars and is 10 units weaker than theirs...never in my life have i ever felt like money defined my life...lits had my life in limbo cos i was waiting for responses from this people...and when i finally got a response it was too late to apply at the local college...idk what im doing this year...i tried looking for work online, but no response...made ads for work on fiverr...tried upwork, tried quickengig...even rev...all these sites people advertise as quick ways to make money....a bunch of lies...i made $0, 3 weeks going now. nothing. i even invested in making a business logo, wrote descriptions...adjusted my ads multiple times...still...blue ticks from the online work field...i applied for jobs ive seen on indeed and on gumtree and jobfinder....but no response...nothing...blue ticked...ima say luckily im working part-time for this events company and its kinda an opportunity to network with the sound industry but the live sound industry is filled with racist pricks who patronize you when you’ve done the time to learn the work they know...so no work online freelancing, no work applying for work..no work physically meeting people...really makes me feel like this isnt a viable option for me...cant even study locally or internationally anymore...

im just so lost...alone..hurt..wish someone would save me the way ive saved others before..

[flauntpage]

Scoring Points and Talking Points – Observations from Sixers 143, Lakers 120

You’ll take 143 points and a double-digit home win on national television any day of the week.

Consider the fact that 42 of those points were scored by a combination of players who have been in Philadelphia for a whopping 72 hours, and it was a pretty good Sunday afternoon for Sixers fans.

They clubbed the Lakers behind an incredibly efficient 37 points from Joel Embiid, improving to 7-4 through 11 games of this 12-game hell stretch. A win tomorrow against Boston would get them to 8-4 and really brighten the outlook heading into New York and the All-Star break, though I fear what the response might look like if they stumble against the Celtics on their home floor.

But we’ll leave that for tomorrow.

One of the key takeaways from Sunday’s win was how Brett Brown worked in his new players, and beyond the starting unit he split up his “big four” into pairs, rolling with two separate lineups.

The first one looked like this:

T.J. McConnell

JJ Redick

Jimmy Butler

Mike Scott

Joel Embiid

And the second group looked like this:

Ben Simmons

James Ennis

Furkan Korkmaz

Tobias Harris

Boban Marjanovic

That was the 10-man rotation for the large majority of the game, before Jonathon Simmons came in to make his Sixers’ debut during garbage time. Brown linked the minutes of Tobias Harris and Ben Simmons while allowing Jimmy Butler and Joel Embiid to share their rotational minutes alongside JJ Redick.

Said Brett post game:

“I still think that what we’re trying to do, when you start platooning and you start pairing, you look out and, to your point, you have Joel and Jimmy against their bench. So when you start shuffling the deck and trying to figure out how we’re gonna sub our team, we oftentimes are in that situation. And I think the growth of the pairings is still evolving. We’re still learning who pairs with who the best. The introduction of Tobias is a really good problem to continue to figure that out. But today I liked how we brought our guys in.”

Moving forward, I still think Jonah Bolden gives you a flexible big option on bad Boban matchup nights (Boston is one of those), and you’ll of course have Simmons available to play Furkan’s minutes. I suspect in the playoffs we’ll see a lot more of Butler handling the ball on the second unit.

Beyond all of that rotational stuff, there was a lot to like about this game. The shot distribution was fantastic, with Embiid taking 16 field goals and Butler 10, with Harris at 14 and Simmons and Redick at 13 each. They recorded 33 assists on 56 field goals and turned the ball over just seven times, which was a season-low for the Sixers through 56 games:

Protect the basketball while shooting 57.7% from the floor and 50% from deep, and you’re gonna win a lot of games.

Ben’s performance

Ben didn’t have a great shooting night at the rim, but the talk after the game was all about his first legitimate NBA three-point attempt.

I was actually in the bathroom when the shot went up, but I could hear this gasp-like “oooohh” sound very clearly in the bowels of the Wells Fargo Center:

Well, there it is. Ben Simmons stepping into a 3-pointer pic.twitter.com/bSkHWQmh0m

— Tom West (@TomWestNBA) February 10, 2019

Ben said he didn’t think too much about pulling the trigger, and recently discussed with Brown how to be more aggressive, take open shots, and grow his game in that way.

He’s always been very terse with reporters when it comes to questions about his shot, not because I think he’s annoyed by it, but probably because there’s not a ton to say. Sarah Todd got a bit out of him at the end of his media availability when she asked this:

Todd: Ben, with all due respect, you say you’re confident pulling up from deep, but we have not seen that. Moving forward, is it something you are specifically trying to add, and can we expect to see that more often?

Simmons: In terms of that, I’m just taking what they give me. If I see somebody back up and JJ’s coming off, I’ll give it to him. I will start pulling up, but it’s not one of the things I’m looking at, it’s not everything. I’m not focused on just doing that; I’m gonna play my game and play to my strengths and continue to train in it.

I think that’s reasonable and it’s certainly consistent with what he’s said his entire career. He is still a point guard, and his skill-set was good enough to land him on the All-Star team this year. His job is to distribute the ball, get teammates involved, and run the offense. If he can add a jump shot or three-point shot to it, that only makes him more dangerous, and it helps his teammates by forcing defenders to respect him in space instead of playing off, doubling, and targeting perimeter shooters.

Brett Brown had more to say on the shot:

“We talked about this a lot, and I actually thought the shot looked good. The rhythm into it looked good. It was close to going in. He didn’t look uncomfortable shooting it. He and I spoke about this notion for a little bit over the past 24 hours – ‘what’s going to happen over the last third of the season, how do we better help you prepare for the playoffs and what’s coming?’ We all saw, to an extreme, LeBron not guard him. And we all have memories of the Celtics series. So somewhere in the middle we have a window of 27 or whatever games left and I’d like to try some of this stuff prior to the All-Star break and take off with it in the final third. It’s a long explanation to the question, but the underbelly to the reason is specific.”

There were some good quotes from various people regarding LeBron’s defense on Ben, but I think that’s better served as a sidebar for later this morning or afternoon.

But I also wanted to share what would have been the pass of the night from Furkan Korkmaz if Ben hadn’t back-ironed this dunk:

Ben Simmons bricks the dunk pic.twitter.com/ySRfknU0PU

— The Render (@TheRenderNBA) February 10, 2019

You have to throw a ball down pretty damn hard for it to rebound all the way into the other half of the floor.

Tobias Harris, game 2

He was excellent again, scoring 22 points on 9-14 shooting, plus 3-5 from three while adding 6 rebounds and 6 assists.

Harris can do a little bit of everything out there, which is fun to watch. He can take guys off the dribble. He can spot up and shoot. He can back down a smaller guy from a mismatch.

Last night he did some running as well, and his ability to grab a rebound and push the floor is really only matched by Ben Simmons. Transitionally, he’s a huge threat, and I thought that was exemplified by that three-pointer in the third quarter, the one that came after a ridiculous bit of ball movement, which he touched on post-game:

“Any time you ever get 33 assists and keep the ball hopping from side-to-side, there was a fast break play, I think it was in the third or fourth quarter when we had like four to five passes for an open three that I hit. Just that type of momentum and that type of spirit of the ball, moving side-to-side, that’s fun to be a part of and fun to play with. If we can envision it the way we want, it would be to be able to play that type of way and still at the same time have guys create their own shot, make their own plays and still play in their game. That’s kind of how we would like to envision it.”

He was also able to do some things within the framework of the base offense, and this DHO with Boban replicates the Embiid/Redick two-man game:

For a 6’9″ player to take that DHO and just drive JaVale McGee to the rack for a dunk… it’s something else man.

Boban

10 points for Boban on 5-6 shooting and a solid 13 minute performance, but I wanted to share one play from the game that illustrates my defensive concerns and why I think Jonah Bolden should also be getting some minutes as a backup big:

Sure, that’s Boban and Harris moving to defend the same guy. They don’t have the assignments down yet, and they shouldn’t after three days in Philadelphia. But you see how Boban can be vulnerable to stretch bigs who can space the floor and sit on the perimeter. Pulling him away from the rim opens up space to slash and drive, and when other teams go small, Bolden is gonna be a better close-out option.

Embiid post game

In addition to 37 and 14 on a 75% shooting night, he had an all-time press conference featuring the following snippets:

not sure why he plays well against both Los Angeles teams: “I must not be a big LA fan”

his reaction to Ben shooting a three-pointer was “oh shit.. it caught me off guard.. I’m in a position where.. what just happened? I thought it was in.” 

adding another 40% three-pointer shooter gives everybody a ton of space on the floor

JJ Redick got him sick earlier this week, Embiid texted him at 3 a.m. the other morning to let him know about it. “My whole life I never throw up, that’s how you know it was bad. I told him, ‘F you.'”

He’s excited not to play against Boban anymore, even though he “always found ways to kick his ass.” 

Other notes:

Predictably, there were a ton of cockroach Laker fans in the building last night, and by Laker fans, I mean Philly-area natives who were cheering for Los Angeles instead of their hometown team.

Carson Wentz and Alshon Jeffery are taking this game in next to each other on the baseline, so I guess they don’t hate each other after all. Other celebs and athletes in the house were Kendall Jenner, M Night, Kimmo Timonen, Bob Kraft, Allen Iverson, Mike Trout, Marco Fabian, and Lil Uzi Vert.

Embiid had one sequence where he decided to bring the ball up the floor himself, drew a double team, and decided to shoot a 16-foot fadeaway instead of passing instead. Pretty horrendous possession. He tried it again later and committed a charge near half court. On an earlier sequence, he had a free run to the basket after a defensive mixup, which I think is why he felt like he wanted to try handling the ball again.

Mike Muscala got some cheers, some boos, and some “Mooooose” when he came in. It was hard to tell the difference between the latter two reactions.

Mike Scott and James Ennis each had a sequence where they blew a look at the rim, then immediately committed a defensive mistake on the other end. Ennis had an 0-5 shooting night while Scott finished 3-7. Jonathon Simmons hit a garbage time bucket.

T.J. McConnell passed up a wide open three in the second quarter. He’s not gonna take contested threes, but he shoots 33% for his career from three, which is good enough to warrant those open looks. Sure enough, he had another one of those looks at the very end of the third quarter and nailed it.

“I know you love him, but you gotta guard him,” a fan yelled at Ben Simmons after a LeBron James bucket in the paint.

With the spotlight off Jimmy Butler, he scored 15 points on 10 shots while adding 4 rebounds and 3 assists. He was a +19.

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