#i dont even want to have delusions in my head about it bc it feels wrong

[marsixm]

ocd rly sucks sometimes bc i swear my paranoia just shoots me in the foot with my personal life so bad

[coolcoelacanth]

beep boop secret in the tags

[kooberryfields4ever]

hehe😏😏 what did i say😏😏 finally posting this after more than half a year of abandoning the idea!!!!!!!! as a long time jungkooker i have observed his mannerisms for a while and i think my delusions will guide me down the right path <333 please let me know ur thoughts and as always my asks/requests are very much open to both hard and soft thoughts!!!!!! 🥺

content warnings : nsfw below the cut, handjobs, jerking off, mentions of oral, mentions of cumming inside, unprotected sex, protected sex, boobs, yadda yadda its the nsfw alphabet what do u expect😒

MDNI !

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the sweetest <3333

cannot imagine jungkook being anything but attentive and romantic when he tends to u after sex

also cant see him as too dominant or rough during sex so aftercare is probably just kisses cuddles and pillow talk

maybe some boob groping because he cannot help himself

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

do i even need to say it

boobs, boobies, tits, honkers, knockers, breasts etc

LOVES UR TITS. like i do not care what anybody says jungkook is a titty lover, a boobie connoisseur

likes to just hold them because he is gentle and lovely and ur boobs are his home

wants them in his mouth almost all of the time

favourite part of him is probs his arms

very proud of his muscles and very very attracted to the way u seem addicted to them

loves when u dig ur nails into them when he fucks u

also loves when u get overwhelmed with cuteness aggression and feel the need to bite him and gnaw on his arm like a teething toy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

clean boy

i dont think hes all too feral about doing it inside but if ur fucking raw then inside is the cleanest option for him

first man on earth to… prefer a condom?

of course fucking u raw is his absolute pleasure but he likes the quick and easy cleanup a condom provides

on the off chance jungkook likes to get messy :) if hes in that mood expect cum on ur face, tits or on ur pussy

not an absolutely rare occurrence just not entirely common

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

did u guys expect me to say anything but panty lover

likes them all but especially cute cotton ones that are well loved <3

ones with a little bow and a subtle lace trim

maybe the pattern is somewhat childish but that makes them all the more endearing to him

if he sees u wearing them TRUST he will be in a messy mood. he cant help himself

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

pains me to admit but jungkook gets bitches😥😥

maybe not drowning in pussy, we’ve all seen the singular neck pillow on his bed

just cannot imagine a world where jungkook looks the way he looks and doesnt fuck?????? that is a world i quite frankly dont want to live in if so.

been in the industry long enough to know how to get around dispatch rumours, also hybe/bh paying off major drama media companies lolol

i think hes had enough sex to know what he likes but jungkook is a romantic at heart and i truly believe if he found The One we would know about it

so i think theres some things unexplored bc theyre things he wants to experience with the love of his life<333

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary

DONT YAWN.

just likes seeing ur face and also likes to display his strength and hold ur hips up so he can fuck u deeper

also likes that he can see when u grip onto his arms and if he really wants to he can duck his head down and bury his face in ur tits

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

yeah jk gets goofy asf

cannot imagine serious sex with him really i think hes immune to being serious ever

even if it gets a little more serious at some point there will always be a joke or a giggle inserted somewhere between

he cannot help himself sorry.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

jungkook my lovely clean boy <33

not completely razor shaven but trims regularly and keeps it neat

not a fan of stray pubes and whatnot. thinks its unhygienic

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

despite his goofy silly boy nature i think jungkook is incredibly intimate

likes to be slow and likes drawn out foreplay

this is jungkook we’re talking about……. lover of romance and soulmates and close bonds

needs to be practically combined with u when u fuck, never feels like he gets deep enough

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

dont think hes a big fan of jerking it honestly

at least not alone

loves a bit of mutual masturbation i reckon so if he does need to wank best believe he’s either calling u or texting u

its always better when hes right there with u tho, with u straddling his lap while he strokes himself and watches u get off on his thigh

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

hehe praise

for u or for him. doesnt matter

will get into this in a sec but jk dabbles in submission so expect whimpers and moans when u tell him what a good boy he is and goad him on when hes following instructions well

loves whispering how pretty u are and reminding u how much he loves u and loves ur body and thinks ur the most gorgeous person in the world

atp its just him. like i dont think he could stop himself i think he gets off on praising u

lazy sub when he does sub for u :)

less about being in the mood to sub and more about not being in the mood to do anything else

wants u to do the work and likes if u get a little mean about it

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the couch lol

jungkook is one of those people thats just very passionate and when hes horny it needs to happen there and then

so i just cant picture u making it to his bed fast enough for his liking

his couch is big enough anyway

but make no mistake…….. morning sex

therefore beds!!!!!!!! loves fucking u in the morning because it feels so domestic and intimate and lovely and therefore loves fucking u in his bed

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

not much

libra venus lol

but its usually just from his need to be close to u and whats closer than being literally inside of u

just a lovely boy …. :( would probs get so hard just seeing u look pretty on the couch next to him while u watch tv

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation probably

not a fan of being mean to u outside of a little teasing

none of that “slut”, “bitch”, “whore” business

id also say hitting but i think jungkook could get into a bit of that if the circumstances are right

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i think he prefers receiving but isnt against eating u out

doesnt even like getting head much himself

prefers a handjob the same way he would prefer to finger u

dont think hes bad at it tho. knows the basics and primarily uses it as foreplay so orgasm is not always necessary

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

both?

depends on his mood and the circumstances in which he is fucking u

mostly slow and sensual though, maybe a mix between if he’s close

hehehe…….. probs doesnt even pull out too far when he fucks u, just wants to stay buried in u so he prefers rolling his hips slowly and grinding into u

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not opposed to them but not his favourite

prefers when foreplay lasts forever to the point that ur both basically about to cum

but quickies are sometimes unavoidable :/

will make up for it later :)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i dont think so …… i dont think hes a scaredy cat but hes very cautious of things that may hurt u or that may cause harm

like probably not a very public lover aside from basic pda (he has to show u off????)

would cover ur mouth to keep u quiet when he lived in the dorms

i think hed be too embarrassed if he got caught fucking, hes cute not arrogant

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think jungkook can go for a while and i think he can hold out for longer than most

enjoys taking his time with u and that of course would not work if he was desperate to cum five minutes in

i also think … he … .. perh aps…,.., enjoys being overstimulated…,,??

so cumming more than once :) is fun :)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

ermmm probably not?

likes the real thing and doesnt like the noises

would maybe invest in a hitachi for u but cant think of anything he would use on himself

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

not very unfair, likes to give in to u cos it shows u want him that bad and thats what gets him going

however

if jungkooks feeling submissive then yes please tease him

be mean and make him beg

and even still dont give in :)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

moaner

like come on ? its jungkook we’re talking about

if he didnt moan id be seriously worried .

not necessarily loud, but u can definitely hear him from outside the door

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

can imagine him getting home after a long day and hes been thinking about u but cannot be bothered to move from the couch

and u look so pretty beside him so (because hes a baby) he reaches out to touch ur thigh and whines a little

maybe even pouts because hes such a massive tease

and who are u to deny him ? when he looks so pretty and u know he just wants u to look after him

and so u climb into his lap and straddle him…… and his hands roam over your hips and ass absentmindedly

and when ur kissing ur hand trails lower and lower until ur palming him over the fabric of his sweats and building him up until hes rock hard

whispering that he has to be a good boy for u or else he wont get rewarded, and obviously he nods because he loves being ur good boy

but his hands wander a bit too much for ur liking and so u bite his lower lip and spank his hip gently before sneaking ur hand past the waistband of his sweats and underwear to grip his length

and of course hes dripping, how wouldnt he be ??

so u indulge him and spread his precum down his cock before stroking him slowly, nudging his clothes down to get a better look

and hes so fucked out that his head tips backwards, his wandering hands gripping your hips firmly

and despite the mess, hes delicate when he cums, spilling over his shirt and moaning softly, thanking u with sweet murmurs and a gentle hand rubbing ur thigh

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

self-identified horse cock

just kidding but i think hes a little bigger than average

probs more on the girth side than anything else

i dont think its anything extreme, i think its enough for u to notice but nothing that will carve out ur insides

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think sex is an expression of his love language a little so i think he has a higher sex drive

but not in a horny ggrrrr ooga booga woof woof way but in a please can i just be inside u forever and make a home within ur walls way

will probs want sex more often than ur average guy but its never pressure its more just like a natural progression of cuddling and being around him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

probably not gonna fall asleep for a while after

if hes subbing then maybe sooner than any other times u have sex

but mostly when its over he will stay up to shower and eat and maybe play some games before he falls asleep

[giganonyx]

TBB SEASON 3 SPOILERS

HEADS UP- I WILL BE TAGGING EACH OF MY EPISODE REVIEW THINGS WITH “tbb s3 spoilers”, AND OTHER SPOILER TAGS, PLEASE BLOCK THESE TAGS SO U DONT GET SPOILED!!!

AHHHHH OMEGA MY BABY. She has a pony tail stoppp my child is all grown up I will cry. Ok but she ate the new hairstyle she is slaying.

ERGH SHE HAS BEEN THERE 150 DAYS. Sick and twisted. She contrasts SO heavily with the whole sterile, orderly environment, it’s literally heartbreaking to watch. Forced into this mindless routine, her hopeful attitude constantly being beaten down on?? HURTING. GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.

GOD seeing Crosshair look so broken BROKE ME. His shaking hands??? They took away the ONE thing he still had- his superior sniping skills, his steady hand. They took that AWAY from him. FUCKED UP. THEY TORE HIM DOWN. I can’t I’m so sad.

DADDY’S HOMEEEJWJWISNWIANQOQOQB (Hunter was on screen for the first time this season) (He is SO FINE)(MY HUSBAND HAS RETURNED FROM HIS HIATUS IN A TRAUMATIZED STATE BUT NONETHELESS HAS RETURNED TO GRACE MY SCREEN AND BE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE)

I had a horrible sense of dread overtake my body when he said something like “our mission isn’t over yet”… like idk I felt so ILL. PAIN. WHY do I have the feeling my man isn’t going to make it SHUT UP.

ALSO HIM MAKING RECKLESS DECISIONS???? The kidnapping of his daughter and the death of his brother have done a NUMBER on this man.

WRECKER my cutie patootie!! Yk it’s bad when Wrecker starts to become a voice of reason (which, Hunter in his desperate mindset, promptly ignores 😭)

HAHBANQKNSJQQKO CROSSHAIR IS SO FUNNY DURING HIS ESCAPE WITH OMEGA- literal snark fest

Need Omega bullying a mouse droid on repeat.

Stop mouse droid bullying 😭

OOOO NALA SE’S WARNING TO OMEGA TO LEAVE?? I’m scared. And Omega ate it up tho. She said “say less lmao I’m gone ✌️”.

Did palpy not feel a disturbance into the force. Was bro so into the “project Necromancer deets” he couldn’t tell his vessel was peacing out. Common Palpy L.

RUN OMEGA TAKE YOUR SARCASTIC BROTHER WITH U

JUST A GIRL AND HER DOG AND HER GRUMPY BROTHER EHEHEHEHE

OUGAHHH OK OK IM BOUNCING AROUND EPISODES HERE BUT STAY WITH ME

WHEN CROSSHAIR SAID “forget the hound, Omega.”, it lowkey felt like he was talking about himself. He was telling her to forget him, he was a broken animal, with no point in nurturing back to health. She needs to give up on him if she wants to move forward. BUT SHE DIDNT BECAUSE MAMA DIDNT RAISE NO UNLOYAL LOSER. NO. OMEGA IS THE REALEST ONEEEEE.

EMERIE you confuse me. I hate u yet am intrigued by u. Looking forward to her character development ahhhh.

HUNTER MY POOKIE BEAR BACK TO HIM BC that man was doing FLIPS chopping off the eldritch horror vines. They snatched his brother and he said “hell naw hoe let go of my BRO” and just. Went to town. Me when Hunter exists 🎉🎉🎉🎉

OH OU OH IHHIWHAIANQO ALSO THE MYSTERY GUY IN THE GREEN TACTICAL ARMOR?? IS THE ONE DOING THE “TORTURE” OR WHATEVER TO CROSSHAIR AND THAT GROUP OF CLONES??? If that’s really tech I’m gonna scream. You’re telling me he’s torturing his own brother. Tech would never even THINK about doing shit like that the man just wants to read nerdy newspapers. Desecration of the nerd lifestyle. OK I REALLY HOPE ITS HIM. LIKE I REALLY DO. OOO PLEASE I WILL CRY. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY SHOW THIS MYSTERY CLONE. NO NEED. IT HAS TO BE BROWN EYES (delusion).

OK I AM SO TIRED MY HEAD HURTS MY LIFE IS CHANGING Jesse we need to cook (I need to make tbb art) BUT I AM GOING TO BED FIRST

[matrixwhore]

mmm…

i wanna talk about paul. i dont think i lingered too much there. bc it’s a sensitive spot i guess? it’s a sensitive thing to be openly unwell. my focus with this post if i really even have that is his relation with louis. i wanna talk about paul in relation to how louis treats him and that being a reason why i love louis so much too. i love both characters. i think paul doesnt really ever get mentioned in fandom much. which is the psychosis experience tbh. so it tracks.

it’s a public spectacle every one wants so desperately to ignore and to be over. in my personal experience (and i don’t think i’m alone in this) the person going through it wants it to be over too. wants that people don't see them that way. but paul’s whole character is generally ignored other than in conversations about whether or not lestat caused his suicide, which was a compelling conversation. whether or not he did is a incredibly prickly thing in the gut of the story. and to be followed up with Louis staying with Armand after having killed claudia who has a thread with paul too. she has a manic/psychotic moment. she’s a collector. she’s a lot of things that society doesn’t want to see exist. (nor does the fandom but i digress) and the way she lives in this undead world is as if she doesnt exist at all so manny ways (like paul in life too in ways) we’ve spoken of if you are someone who dares to acknowledge the fullness of her character. i said this was about paul but im working through a connection in real time. i think that’s why i wanna talk about paul. bc he carries so much of the story in the little time he was alive. and his death is the catalyst for louis’ initial death. not the one lestat gave him, but the one that made it possible for lestat to convince him in the first place. ( the spiritual one maybe? idk. im just thinking thoughts)

what i never question in regards to paul and louis’ relationship, is that louis loves him. that’s what actually makes that: “did lestat kill him really? and whether or not he did kill him….louis thought he did and stayed?” conversation so insane in the membrane to me. because the way he treated paul shows me he does love him so much. one: something in him died with paul. another thing is that louis genuinely wanted him around. he advocated for him to stay out of the hospital. he took him out as soon as he was given the power to as head of household when his father died. (i have so many questions about his own feelings and opinions on his father.) he openly spent time with him. paul was his favorite person. he let paul crawl into bed with him. which is kind of big deal from what i know in the openly unwell population. not a lot of people want to comfort that. and louis allowing his male brother into bed with him for that tender moment is kind of a key moment for him to me bc of how the pressures of homophobia can affect how men are made to feel they can treat their male family members too. Louis sees him and his need and is willing to give it to him. louis wants to be there for his brother. he decides he’ll be the one to take care of him. tells grace not to worry about paul. he would take care of him. he assures paul he wont see lestat anymore. louis’ love for paul was in the way of lestat’s wants and desires. maybe paul did have suicidal ideation already. maybe many things can be true.

(i meant to post this during disability month, but i went through it and so now i’ll just continue where i left off)

louis struggling with killing a man with a daughter and wanting to go home to his brother…😵‍💫. paul isnt a child, but louis was his caretaker. in paul you see louis shine in that role (barring the bit where he pulls a knife out, and threatens to gut him, bc that was a performance. it’s not great but he didn't even want to do that). louis recognizing that locking away a man for having delusions just because he has them at all made paul worse was such a powerfully impactful thing to me. i say this fully well knowing sometimes going to the hospital can be beneficial these days, but even still being locked up there?? drugged and treated horribly given he was black and in a time when mentally ill people were treated heinously? louis saying he belongs at home and seeing to it that paul gets to be home with his family. spending time with him like he’s a person beyond his disability. beyond his delusions. that shit makes me like quiver and cry tbh. that’s mostly what people going through that need most of all and don’t receive. he loved paul. and when paul dies louis dies. idc. (so if lestat’s did take paul away from louis….he killed him twice….also while i’m here i have stirring thoughts about lestat knowing he could tell paul his truthful intentions in town and that out of paul’s mouth no one would believe him. maybe that’s the whole thought. or maybe i’ll come back to it. idk)

(i think in some ways claudia was also theyre to fill the casm paul created too. sorry none of this is like linear or anything im just thinking i guess. maybe i’ll make get into how i see they’re related later.)

[handsinterlaced]

hi this is gonna be my niall experience as I just need to get it out and I’m sure irls are SICK of me talking abt it <3 pls enjoy or ignore up to u

proof being delusional works!

june 27: I fly my ass out to toronto!!! and at this point I’m just giggling w a friend joking around what if I meet Niall

june 28: today is niall’s 1st show in Toronto hehe

I was eating lunch at a random restaurant I stopped by on queen st and I was soooo excited / nervous I couldn’t eat! basically forcing myself to eat so I don’t die at the concert fjdjskks but yeah after like half an hour of picking my food I start to feel unsettled.. and a lil bit uneasy! idk it was suchhhhh a weird feeling but u always gotta listen to ur gut!!

U GOTTA LISTEN TO UR GUT!!

DONT IGNORE IT

it was sooo strange like at that moment I knew I had to leave the restaurant RIGHT NOW and so I did! I was like half an hour walk away from my air bnb so I’m like that’s fine I’ll just walk back & still have plenty of time before the show to get ready and stuff! there were so many different ways to walk back. I could’ve crossed the street earlier or turned the corner sooner but the path I chose led me right to Niall 😭😭 I wasn’t even looking for him!!! but I was waiting for the crosswalk… look up and who do I see? NIALL FUCKING HORAN RIGHT THERE

- ngl tho niall in a cap and sunglasses is such a great disguise FJKSKAKA I would not have recognized him if tour manager wasn’t with him! shoutout to jstir (I met him when I was like 13 when he was working for Cody simpson and taking everyone’s m&g photos fjdjskks that man’s face is engraved in my mind so I was able to recognize him pretty quick!) like who knew my 13 year old phase would come back 10 years later and help me out !!!

anyways so Niall is across the street and I’m just fighting w myself debating if I should go up to him or not 😭😭 the saying never meet ur heroes is kinda true JDKDKAKA it changes u & all the expectations u have! Ultimately I figured that this was my 1 chance to say something so I just went for it. If I didn’t I’d probably regret it for the rest of my life!

I just know my voice was shaky and I was super nervous but niall was so sweet and patient <3 like I felt so bad just going up to him 😭😭 hes just out and about… trying to be incognito & enjoy some free time FJSKKA like I am quite aware but when else could this happen u feel 🥲 anyways here is the convo from what I remember bc I blacked out (as u do when u meet ur fave)

me: hi Niall!! just wanted to say hi and let you know how excited I am to see you perform tonight and tomorrow <3

niall: hi how are you! oh you’re going to both shows? is that right? we’re actually headed to the venue now

me: oh! If that’s the case I don’t wanna keep you guys. Would it be alright if we took a photo?

niall: yes of course!

the photos (cropped myself out bc Toronto humidity is my enemy & I was a sweaty mess from walking back to the air bnb)

and then I just say thank u so much! see u at the show hahaha and SPRINT OFFFFJFKSKAK like I ran so fast bc I needed to get away and scream 😭😭

mind u I be carrying my leftovers the entire time JFKSKAK SO FUNNY

I DIDNT EVEN INTRODUCE MYSELF! WISH I TOLD HIM I FLEW MY ASS OUT! THAT HE NEEDS TO TOUR MORE CITIES IN CANADA! TO PUT NEW ANGEL ON THE SETLIST!! so much I wish I said but again thankful they were on the way to the venue so I was forced to keep it short so I didn’t continue to yap and embarrass myself further. it could’ve been so much worse! just gotta remind myself that.

sat in the air bnb for like 2 hours in silence trying to process what happened fjdjskks would’ve been longer but I had to get to the show! anyways I was like 15 rows back on the floor and had the best time <3

june 29: Toronto night 2!!!

I’m sat 2nd row floor… right next to the barricade and I’m so close I know that niall can see me 😭😭😭 idk if it’s the delusion but I keep making eye contact with niall and he keeps looking at me! probs thinking oh is it that weirdo from the street yesterday 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAO but U TELL ME!! IS IT DELUSION BC I THINK I GOT PROOF RIGHT HERE

felt too perceived by him tbh JDKKA needed to run and hide! like eye contact was crazy djdjjsjs

OKAY THAT IS ALL FOR NOW I THINK! if u made it this far I am so amazed ty for reading the rambles <3

[malka-lisitsa]

What's it like dating Katherine?

I'm so glad that you asked!

I see a LOT of 'Dating Katherine would consist of-" Posts and they're all so romanticized its so unrealistic!!! So let me tell you what dating Katherine is ACTUALLY LIKE, because she is NOT an easy person to be with!

Now quick disclaimer here- this doesn't mean she isn't a good person to date and that it's all bad. It's NOT and I will definitely list the entire spectrum here good and bad- but Katherine is not for the faint of heart and if yall want to fantasize about what dating her would be like you need the real guide book.

SO here's what dating Katherine Pierce would be like.

Katherine is BPD this is a terrible condition that affects her ability to maintain relationships especially.

Paranoid delusions are v common, Katherine has incredible trust issues already (can you blame her) so paired up with paranoia she would be very suspicious at completely random times. One day she could be completely ok with x person being around you and then the next day she could be so insecure and jealous bc her head has convinced her that you are in fact cheating on her.

Katherine's rapid mood swings? Not cute! :D She can go from fine, to white hot rage in a split second and then if you blink shes sobbing! WHY? SHE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW!! And to top it all off!! She doesn't know what to do with herself when she has these mood swings! Could be anything from isolation, to being needy, or even lashing out randomly! Its a surprise for EVERYONE INVOLVED!!

Picking fights! Legitimate fights out of nowhere! Why? Bc abandonment issues! You're gonna leave her anyway why shouldn't she be in control of that right? She will push you away viciously!! The guess what?? After that episode is over she will try to smooth it over and pull you back because she doesnt actually want to lose you- shes just SCARED and has zero emotional regulation!

She will TEST YOU CONSTANTLY and you will never know, you will never be trained, or given a guide you are expected to know what the right thing to do with/for her is and if you DONT- FIGHT. This is super common in BPD, these tests and theyre almost ALWAYS unreasonable, again bc if you fail the test she gets to pick a fight and rationalize you dont actually care about her and she should push you away before you hurt her.

Intense emotions! My GOD lets not forget that she not only feels things vampire intense but she feels them BPD intense ON TOP OF THAT. SHE WILL BE UNREASONABLE. OFTEN. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. She literally has no control over it. She is not logical when triggered it is ALL emotional lizard brain. If you push her she will bite you- no middle ground.

She will get scared, and she will most likely try to run, or push you away. Anyone who can reach you, can hurt you- and Katherine has a built in warning system when someone starts to get close enough they can actually hurt her- the the instinct to sabotage that relationship kicks in.

Katherine is an impulsive liar. You will be lied to. Probably over the stupidest shit like 'we're out of nuggets' so you pick her up something else on the way home. Also probably about important shit. Katherine's most common lie is 'im fine'

Katherine is POSSESSIVE and she is NOT shy about it either. Reactions can vary from some heavy PDA to actual violence...

Dating Katherine is dealing with her insomnia. It's dealing with her waking up screaming, or in tears. It's having her climb in your lap to sleep because she needs to feel safe. Remember this girl has been HUNTED and FUCKED WITH for 500 YEARS. SAFE is never a default feeling for her. She is ALWAYS in fight or flight mode and it's EXHAUSTING when your brain keeps telling you 'cant sleep now there are enemies near by'

Dating Katherine is never knowing whats going on in her head because she wont tell you. You need to learn her very subtle language she communicates in to understand her mental state.

its katherine having very little emotional maturity, and lashing out at the first sign of rejection or criticism. Its Katherine having black and white thinking NO grey area.

Its learning a whole new dialect just to be able to understand what she actually means when she says or does certain things.

But it's also katherine routinely playing games with you. Random games of tag. Making up new rules youve never heard of in checkers that she swears are legit she learned them in mexico. Its secretly throwing games sometimes so she can win and you get to keep playing that game...

Its her snooping through your stuff to get to know you, because while she could just ask, she needs enrichment and snooping is very fun for her.

Its her plopping herself down next to you because she just wants to be around you (even if its picking a fight for attention)

It's her head on your chest as she listens to your heart beat and falls asleep on you.

Its seeing the way she looks at you, with a love so powerful you cant even imagine what it feels like.

its her doing little things to express that she loves you. Thes things vary from doing a chore, to leaving you a present, kissing you randomly, asking to cuddle and watch a movie- its a wide variety she uses to express herself with.

its her asking you to watch videos with her or read to her.

it's finding out all of the little details she knows about you, all the tiny stuff most people don't notice, that she has learned and even likes about you.

its her cooking you one of her 4 known and perfected dishes randomly.

its quiet evenings of just existing in each others company as you do whatever

its play fighting, that turns into a make out session.

its mind blowing sex tbh

Its being loved with a love that was more than love-

its waking up next to this beautifully complex creature and knowing she picked you.

Nah, dating Katherine is not a walk in the park. It takes a very special and dedicated person with a lot of courage to handle this girl. It takes someone with patience. Someone with determination, and the ability to love her at her absolute worst. It takes someone willing to UNDERSTAND that she is not always in control of her behaviors. That she is just as fed up and scared and done with the way shes acting, but shes TRAPPED on the inside of her own head just WATCHING herself tear shit apart and she cant do ANYTHING to stop it.

It takes someone willing to meet her aggression with a gentle hand. It takes someone who will reassure her constantly that they love her and want her. It takes someone who understands that she needs special treatment most people would deem unreasonable or entitled. It's a toxic relationship until you learn the cheat codes to bypass her defense mechanisms. It takes time and dedication. So if you're thinking all of that sounds toxic and terrible, then you honestly don't deserve all the good, all the light she can be when handled properly.

Katherine is a girl who loves harder than most people could even imagine. She's dedicated. Shes smart. Shes a wonderful charismatic person- but she is DAMAGED and requires special care- so if you cant handle the care needs for an exotic animal, it's best you just visit every now and then and let someone whos willing to put in the effort, reap the immense benefits. Dating Katherine, LOVING KATHERINE- it isnt EASY.... but it's WORTH IT.

I'm sure I missed a few things for good AND bad but honestly you get the jist.

[safetycar-restart]

Smt i always imagine is our soft subby boys meeting an expartner and hearing about what your relationship was like with your former sub and its a completely different dynamic from the one you have with him and!!! I could write a thesis on why i think there are very specific categories they all fall into!

Charles... first of all babygurl charles does not want to meet your former sub, does not even want to acknowledge you had previous relationships. You're his now and he's happy being delusional! If it was known they would be at an event you're going to i think he would be very sneaky and try to find a way you can both avoid it, but if you have to go theres no way hes not going to be there (i hc charles and being very protective, very territorial- he does not want to share!). And charles is trying to avoid them but is so hyperaware of their presence he kind of just ends up glaring at them all night while you have an arm around his waist ... so, like, they have no choice but to approach, charles is drawing attention and its awkward 😭 and okay okay your arm never leaves his waist but you smile and maybe just a small comment is made, idk, charles trying to brag about your dynamic and how much attention you give him, bc! He needs to know! You like charles more! And then your former sub goes oh no ours was really laid back, i didnt need too much and she could have other hobbies 😩 i literaly have no idea, i leave this to your talent to make it more believable, but ! Charles just deflates, everything has been too much and hes so overwhelmed and just tired and then teary, but he doesnt want to leave you and just needs you to know he needs to be at home alone with you in spft pyjamas cuddling - i hc charcles as well as just expecting you to know his every feeling, he knows its good to communicate but you always just seem to know ... so just a little bit when you keep talking even with his shiny eyes looking at you and youre not even looking back hes feeling betrayed?? And he knows its irrational but he cant help it.

You go through the rest of the night with a very sullen and withdrawn charles who wont really talk to you but also wont stop hugging you and god forbid you dont hold his waist (very zendaya and tom holland okay? Have you seen those photos???? BABYGIRL) even if hes sad and just a tiny bit upset with you he still needs you to hold him, or hes just gonna fall apart, and now i leave this to ypu, if you want to answer! Just insecure sad charles needing reassurance, but getting the problem out of him is challenging enough. Ik you can do this justice bestie!! Would love to hear your thoughts. I have ideas for the others as well but i thought it was too much for a single ask 😩

Oh my god I love this. PLEASE PLEASE send me your other ideas!!! Please!!! I need to know all the thoughts!!!! I added mommy kink to this because I think it works really well with the different dynamic aspect?

So firstly, yeah charles is happy to live in delusion! He’s your baby boy and you’re his mommy and it has simply always been that way in his little head. He never ever wants to meet anyone who has been with you before him, because no! He refuses! He’s yours and you’re his and that’s it.

(Sidenote: he gets even more distressed when he meets one of his exes)

And because of Charles being so territorial, he honestly loves going to kink events? Of course it’s always very high class kink events where everyone has to sign NDAs to protect Charles.

He LOVES being on your arm the whole night, letting everyone see what a good boy he is for his mommy. He wears his collar so proudly, clinging to your side the entire evening and just being so happy because so many people come up to you two and no one even thinks of trying to join you two because it’s so clear that you’re together and need no one else and Charles is THRIVING.

You spend a fair amount of the evening with Charles curled up on your lap, receiving a slow handjob and he’s truly living his best life. So many people come to watch but none can touch and even when they make comments or suggestions, Charles always looks to you because you’re his mommy! He’s a good boy, only listening to his mommy.

So after you’ve teased an orgasm out of Charles and he’s all soft and happy in your arms (and trying to get down onto the floor because he’s feeling soft and subby and he must return the favour! Must taste mommy!), you decide it’s time to walk around the room a little and actually greet some people.

Charles is more than happy with that, because he loves being arm Candy. He’s in no state to actually talk much, but he knows you’ll handle that.

That’s when you run into your ex. Charles has heard about the person before, because you’re both very open about who you’ve been with before. Maybe Charles had even seen a picture of them before?

Even normally, Charles would be very unhappy with seeing one of your exes. But at a kink event? When he’s just had an orgasm? Oh no Charlie is VERY upset about this.

He glared at the person, sticking to your side and pouting. At first you think it’s Charles being possessive because you did just make him cum and are now looking at others. So you tighten your grip on his waist, pulling him closer. You expect him to melt into your side as always, cuddling into you and then happily getting his cuddles while you chat to some people.

But that’s not what happened, because Charlie’s is upset! He will not just melt into your arms because an ex sub of yours is right there!

At the same time, your ex sub notices you and comes to say hi. The two of you left on good terms, and you don't mind running into them at all. Charles though? Charles minds. He really really minds.

Charles introduces himself though, prodding announcing that you're his mommy, emphasising the possession because he needs the ex sub to know that you're HIS mommy now.

Only for the ex sub to smile and say, "Oh that's nice, we never really did that dynamic together, preferred more lowkey stuff."

Which just... Charles needs to go home now. He needs to go home right now.

He knows that he should be happy to hear that you havent been anyone else's mommy. But that also means that you havent wanted to be anyone else's mommy. Do you not enjoy it as much as he thought you did? Is he just a burden?

He's too sad and too subby and you must take him home now!!

Except he doesn't voice this, he just forces a laugh and cuddles as close to you as he can, trying to get some comfort. You don't notice anything odd about his behaviour, because you expected him to be quiet and clingy after his orgasm.

But then you try to walk somewhere else, expecting Charles to come with you but Charles doesn't expect it. So he just kinda stands there and whines?

You take a few steps before realising Charles isnt with you, and when you turn around, you see a sobbing Charles watching you. The poor thing assumed you were leaving him, not that you were simply going somewhere else and expecting him to follow you.

Your heart just breaks, because your little sub is clearly so lost and confused and something has made him so much more upset than he should be.

So you quickly go back to him, pulling him into your arms and apologising for not warning him that you were going to move.

"Mommy," he whines, clinging to you, "mommy.... need mommy."

You hold him tight, kissing his neck and promising him that you're right there, that he has his mommy.

You take him home after that, changing him into comfy clothes and letting him cuddle him into you. You just hold him close, waiting for him to calm down before you ask him anything. You know that if you ask him what happened before he's ready, then he'll only get even more upset.

So you just let him calm down in your arms, keeping him warm and safe and giving him plenty of forehead kisses.

When he's ready, he admits that what really upset him was meeting your old sub, and hearing that you had a much more laid back dynamic with them. You understand then, and your heart just breaks because your subby baby should never ever think that he's too much.

"Things were more laid back with them," you explain, "and yeah I've never had such a serious dynamic before. But I've also never had such a cute babyboy before, and I've never wanted to look after someone like I want to with you before."

"So you... you're happy with me?" he asks you, sniffling a little.

"Of course!" you say, "I love you! You're my baby, yeah?"

He nods then, managing to give you a little smile.

But he'd still rather be delusion though. He belongs to his mommy and his mommy belongs to him.

(PLEASE SEND ME THE OTHER THOUGHTS I NEED THEM)

[sporkberries]

I want to hear your foxhound headcanons

GHHHHHHH okay this is rough bc idek where to start bc so much stuff in my head is built on other things so ig ill lay out some of em:

- snavid canonically is recruited into foxhound after the gulf war so some time after 1991. fox calls him a rookie in mg1 so i like to think he joined in '94 or '95 so any pre outer heaven foxhound event he's like.... 22 or 23. this isnt really that important but timelines are important to me bc i have problems.

- big boss is the boss at foxhound, venom snake is at outer heaven the whole time. that being said bb does go to africa a lot and loves skipping out on foxhound work but hes not the one running outer heaven day to day. on a similar note i just want to say that imo sniper wolf's "saladin" is venom snake.

- BB is in charge of foxhound but he's notoriously awful to work with. he plays hooky a lot and isnt the most friendly especially to high ranking members of other military branches. unfortunately foxhound brings good results and bb is bb so nobody really calls him on it. tensions within foxhound as well as between government organizations are incredibly tense.

- foxhound is a relatively small operation in terms of numbers. its really the elite of the elite yk so its not massive. BB Campbell Fox and Miller are thus the major players in terms of internal politics, with the power going in about that order. fox is essentially bb's direct right hand and does everything he wants. miller is the opposite trying to ruin bb from the inside and campbell's stuck between a rock and a hard place, he'll always defer to and inevitably agree with bb but a part of him does know something is wrong and he lives with that guilt for the rest of his life.

- kaz is a trans woman about 90% of the time when i refer to anything foxhound related. in some niche corners of my head she isnt but the vast majority of the time shes some sort of transfem wether it be more nonbinary or just a binary trans woman.

- in my weird delusion snavid's relationship with miller parallels bb's and the bosses. snavid looks up to miller and values her a lot, accepting her word above most others with maybe only the big boss hero worship exception. miller initially only wants to manipulate snavid(who keep in mind is a foster kid who never really had any stable relationships or guiding figures in his life) but she does end up genuinely caring about him which makes her feel incredibly guilty that she's manipulating him into committing patricide. not that the guilt stops her tho lol.

- on a similar note miller can sometimes be incredibly callous or cruel to david but this is largely in moments where snavid sounds too much like bb and its an almost involuntary violent response.

- in mg2 it was said that campbell also attained the title of fox alongside grey fox, going by chicken fox. this is retconned in mgs1 but i keep it in my hc.

- ocelot is a member of foxhound but i think he sticks a lot on the dl. putting things into order for bb as well as dealing with the recent collapse of the soviet union which is why hes not mentioned much here(i dont remember if the soviet union had collapsed at the same time as irl bc mg1 and 2 were released in the 80's but its implied to be the same when the solid games release so???)

- fox and snake are friendly towards eachother but not necessarily close, its the outer heaven incident that really solidifies their warrior bond or whatever. they are aware of eachother before that though and fox does have a passing interest in david even sparring with him a few times. however its one of those situations where they just miss eachother. sometimes tho i like to make them close anyways or make them meet in the gulf war first bc ily snox.... this one changes a lot depending on if i wanna adhere to canon or be rlly self indulgent.

- in terms of fox hound internal politics bb is bb. fox listens to bb and tolerates campbell. fox and miller do not get a long at all. miller does not get along with bb. and campbell and miller are kinda friends but in a co worker way.

- i think bb finds it incredibly funny to irritate kaz and make his life worse. kaz not liking bb is foxhounds worst kept secret and even recruits can kinda tell that kaz doesnt like bb. kaz for the most part is capable of keeping up appearances but bb enjoys antagonizing kaz so she'll get upset and then be publicly humiliated or seen as hysterical. its just a really awful work environment and the fact there's still sexual tension makes it even worse. foxhound desperately needs an hr department.

- i have some vagueeeee ocs in my head who are in training with snavid but they arent super concrete and mostly exist as background characters anyways

- i feel like grey fox is the type of guy to take his co workers lunch out of the fridge and eat it even if there is a note

[pinkcannibal]

soo not to get nsfw on the main… But with that being said… i‘ve just reread the latest chapter of it’s quicker and easier for the fourth time (somebody sedate me) and i just have some food for thought that is stuck to my mind‘s interior. SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE!! this fic is permanently tattooed onto my brain!!

like ok so i just think with all of marilyn’s prowess with potions and elixirs, she would surely have the knowledge to come up with some kind of,,, concoction that would allow her to gain a certain appendage (if u know what i’m talking about ;)). The next step then of course is fulfilling her and reader‘s fantasies of feeling her "come inside you and paint your walls with everything she is" with said appendage of marilyn’s. and woah what a line. whattt a line. a line that i personally feel should be interpreted as a prophecy of sorts that needs to be fulfilled immediately mhm mhm !

ok sorry but my point is it’s established marilyn has a breeding kink and yep, that definitely tracks. and reader has a 'consuming any part of marilyn she can like a pathetic eager puppy' kink, be it her blood, spit (👀 pls) or cum. i just think yknow if marilyn has the tools she is well within her right to use them to get herself her own cock and fuck her controversially younger girlfriend with it!!😌 when life gives you lemons, you use them to brew a cock-growing elixir for you and your gf to have fun with… i think that’s how the saying goes <3

anyways sorry for the long ask oops i didn’t mean for it to be this long. last sidepart and this is purely amused delusion but i find it so funny to imagine marilyn building this whole thing up and it happens and she and reader are very turned on and excited… only for marilyn to come in like 30 seconds. bc this is a whole new sensation for her obviously!!!! and even when she’s usually fucking reader without her cock, marilyn’s mostly the one giving and she’s not used to much direct stimulation without having reader come first!!! so then marilyn’s feeling mortified and reader is simultaneously understanding, horny, flattered and proud that she could make her lose control like that.

soo yeah that’s my food for thought on that ONE line from your fic that wouldn’t leave my head. a feast for thought would be more accurate. to make it explicit, i’d love to see something like this happen in the fic with marilyn and reader, or even a one-shot (or both!). that being said i get that it’s not for everyone so if ur not down then ofc don’t feel obliged to write anything ur not comfortable with <3 i was just kinda obsessing over the idea since reading chapter 18 and wanted to articulate my feral thoughts somewhere :p

rant ended for now, congratulations on exceeding 100K words!! that’s a super impressive feat for any author, never mind the fact that you didn’t think the fic would surpass 20K!! we’re super proud of you and blessed to have you as the author of this fic <33 take care and hope to read more soon!!!

okay the way this ask has NOT left my brain since reading it jesus christ!!!! HI??? ur so valid for this actually (also the fact that youve read the chap four times already is so sweet ty!!!! :') dont be sorry for being nsfw on main this sideblog is literally. MADE for that and for people to ask me things like this skdksd

okay. so i HAVE talked abt this on discord before w my beloved '<3' from ao3 and its so funny bc like. when we talk abt marilyn coming its always said with the knowledge that like 'oh of course she can come inside of reader using the strap/her cock. this is both physically possible and normal :)' skdksd so like the fact that youve sent this message is personal TO ME bc even tho i havent made it a thing in my fic yet i DO want to add a scene with either a cum filled strap on or, like you said, bc marilyn's so talented with elixir's/potions im SURE there is a concoction she can create that either a) allows her to feel her cum filled strap as if it was her own appendage AND acts like it or b) have her own cock. im more inclined with option A as it feels more realistic in my fic and would flow better i think within the confides of how ive written this story, and the fact that ive set up already that marilyn is really talented in potion making/plants and organic material. it would have to be slight magic using i guess?? (also realistic is a dumb word to use ik ksdkd like this is the world where vampires werewolves and gorgons exist. yet i just feel like strap would work better instead of her acquiring an actual cock)

btw ur 'when life gives you lemons,' comment made me lose it thank u so much for that. but yes! trust me when i say marilyn is constantlyyyy thinking abt possible ways she can make this a reality, it literally is a cause of frustration for marilyn that she cant give her girl what she wants and fill her up w her cum </3 its why she says it as a form of praise/degradation during 18 and 19 eg: "i wish i could cum in you" and "make you mine" bc like these freaks are so in love that the idea of breeding reader is succchhh a fulfilling fantasy, and visa versa. for reader its like 'i literally want all of you. ALL of you' like marilyn knows and LOVES how much reader is eager to please to take anything of marilyn's like you said, esp blood cum and spit (this idea is romantic to me. no further questions sdkskd) so yes tldr this IS an idea i really, really want to explore bc i can do so much with the idea of consuming your milf lover so much that you beg for their cum inside you/down your throat at all times <333

oh ur so real for marilyn not lasting comment. thats so 😵‍💫definitely the first time they try it marilyn's just so overwhelmed by feeling how warm and wet reader is (its a completely different sensation than feeling w her fingers/tongue) and how much reader is begging for it she just. comes immediately. does not know how to act and keeps filling reader up as much as she can (this does in fact send reader into suchhh a dumbed down headspace feeling it; like u have NO idea how much this is affecting her skdksd) but to me after the first time marilyn is just so focused on making reader the one who comes first every time, bc marilyn gets off on reader getting off and loves being the one to always give <33

i think im more inclined to add it into the fic! but thats not to say im ruling it out of requests/one shots. ur so okay omg ksdk the fact that u were obsessing over this makes me feel validated that me and '<3' arent the only ones who talk abt this concept like. all the time skdkd and wait AHHHHH GOD thank you so much!!!!🥰 thats genuinely so sweet and so uplifting for you to say, i hope you take care too and have an amazing day anon!! :')

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] its ok anon's with me (a lie, but we are in this together) now i Want it too give us the agenda

KJDSGHKJHSDGSDHLKIUHG omg hiiiiii bestie hope ur having a good night <333

i am seeing this 30 minutes before i have to go to work Hopefully That Is Enough Time. okay. okay. actually im probably gonna go between copy&pasting and paraphrasing

no bc i accidentally had the thought of "how would scaramouche and diluc even interact" bc. my fave who i am insane abt & asters fave who he is insane abt and i got curious. and suddenly.

slaughtering fatui together. hunting down harbingers one by one together. not even fucking SPEAKING to each other while they're spending time together but instinctively watching each others backs (and their own, of course, but the longer it goes on and the more they get used to it the more they realize that they trust). scaramouche's back aches where the tubes were attached and dilucs hand and arm ache too and they get it they understand. scaramouche would wrap diluc's arm just enough to keep it compressed and diluc would keep a hand warm enough to feel even through the many layers on scaramouche's back and they'd pretend not to see the other flinching at every strike of lightning, relaxing with every boom of thunder.

if anyone who was rude or arrogant or had any kind of power tried to speak over them or turned their attention on them. they would both be So Fucking Disrespectful. expressions like stone and so clearly looking so far down on them, scaramouche sneers and diluc scoffs their eyes roll their arms are crossed neither of them could care less if they tried and they'd be so cold about it, they match each other's energy so well in that regard.

they wear the same frozen expression staring down at a fatui member pleading for their life. share the same silent mercy on the occasion that a child gets wrapped up in everything. feel the same all-consuming fury towards the fatui tamed and tempered only by the fact that it doesnt make either of them feel any less empty, any less cold.

scaramouche recognizes the scars. he's seen countless people lose parts of themselves, if not everything, to delusions. he doesnt say anything. doesnt know what he could say even if he wanted to. whats the point? but he remembers where delusions are being produced, and those facilities are prioritized above all else. diluc doesnt ask any questions. they both pretend not to know.

and they dont consider themselves friends. they're colleagues, maybe. they will not ever Be anything more than colleagues. even as they learn to fight together effortlessly, even as they watch out for one another as well as they do themselves, even as they become a storm that devastates so much of snezhnaya. even as they treat each other's wounds and recognize each other's scars and feel the same fury and the same coldness and the same deep, all-encompassing regret. even as they grieve. they barely talk, they dont banter, they have no inside jokes. every shared touch is one born of violence, whether in the midst of the fight or the aftermath. even as sometimes one of them gets a little Too far into their own head and the other spends god knows how much time ever so slowly coaxing them back to reality. even as they share meals and advice on all sorts of things, from dealing with the snow to how to improve the way they kill. they aren't friends. they will never be friends. but they'll be colleagues and they'll be shattered reflections of each other and they'll be bloodied, broken pieces of defenses that rise to hurt everyone around them but most of all themselves in the process. they'll recognize the light in each other's eyes and the rare softness when mentioning a certain name, will know that both of them would do anything to kill for this person but are torturously, furiously, brokenly trying so fucking hard to teach themselves how to live, instead, because that's what that person would want for them above all else.

they both agree that violence is so much easier than love.

wanderer barely speaks when he's with diluc and they head to sumeru at somepoint just because he has to or wants to check in, maybe because the fatui are trying to stir something up there again, and diluc watches the way he and nahida bicker and banter and how animated and dramatic wanderer can get when he's with someone he really loves. and another time they end up in mondstadt and kaeya visits and diluc has never been soft, never been tender, even when dressing wounds he's fast, he's efficient, neither he nor scaramouche care or flinch when it hurts. but now diluc is gentle, just barely, hidden concern laced in his tone rolling his eyes, scoffing, trying not to smile, asking questions where the true meaning is always are you okay and how are you doing and do you need me here for you. both of them outsiders witnessing the kind of care from the other that they will never know firsthand.

and at the same time, the others dont know, do they? no one can watch the other's back like they can, no one can fight with the other like they can, no one has that deeply ingrained trust and knowing they've both built with each other. the understanding is enough. the quiet is enough. no one else can look at them and see what they see when they're looking at each other. no one else can recognize it. a handful of tiny parts of themselves, reserved solely for the other. it is not love. it is not care. it just is.

they devastate snezhnaya and go their separate ways and a few years later they run into each other again and fresh wounds have turned to scar tissue and they're living for themselves or at least learning how to, trying so hard to, and what the fuck are they supposed to do? supposed to say? every moment they spend knowing each other was born of violence and hatred and revenge and despair, desperation and grief and every ugly thing they've since so carefully untangled and tried to lay to rest. the things that had brought them together don't hurt the way they used to.

someone bumps into diluc. he did just all but freeze in the middle of the street, after all, and scaramouche scowls, weaves his way through people and grabs dilucs wrist to drag him away because god, get out of the fucking way, what, never been to a real city before? and diluc scowls and yanks his hand away but he still follows, he's not used to this many people being around and navigating such crowds, sue him. and scaramouche asks what he's even doing there and diluc explains and then they're falling into step, matching each other's strides instinctively, and then they're meeting up while diluc is in the city and then scaramouche is finding excuses to visit mondstadt and they're bickering and bantering and arguing over the stupidest shit, and its kind.

its kind.

sometimes they look at each other for a little too long and the emptiness begins to ache and the fire begins to burn only to be snuffed out again as the other makes some stupid comment and they fall right back into place. both of them feeling absolutely Horrified with themselves as they realize, separately, that when they think of their friends he of all people comes to mind. what the fuck? when did that happen? but at the same time, itd been... different, going on without the trust they had between them. and now that that trust is back with far more stable foundation, neither of them is entirely willing to let it go.

so different but with this deep and profound understanding of each other in ways that no one else knows of or could understand. mirrors shaped so differently still reflecting one another.

scaramouche knowing diluc as a murderer and a ruthless bastard who'll fight as dirty as he needs to to get shit done, the man who spits blood from his mouth and keeps going the man who's cold and stoic and couldnt care less about his reputation beyond making it as horrific as possible. and Then going to mond after it all and hearing about master diluc. the insane respect with which everyone refers to him with. the Praise everyone seems to have for him. diluc HATES alcohol. scaramouche knows that diluc hates alcohol. why the FUCK is everyone who mentions his name talking about alcohol. first hearing tales of the darknight hero and Squinting.

scaramouche not wearing his usual hat in snezhnaya because its unfortunately his most identifiable feature and he doesnt want anything he does here to get tied back to sumeru or nahida in any way. better to blend in, to appear unassuming, to have eyes roam over him rather than linger. diluc entering sumeru. vendors at stalls, people at the harbor, akademiya students- hat guy this, hat guy that. did you read hat guys new paper? have you seen hat guy around? its been a few weeks, im starting to miss the bastard. i asked hat guy for help with one of my research projects and he was a fucking jackass but he also pointed out books i hadn't realized i could use for information, it was so worth it. why hasnt hat guy been around? did you manage to trick him into trying something sweet again? you know how much he sulked about it last time.

this hat guy is pretty well known, huh. wonder what the deal is with him.

ummmm and then we also made lots of silly little jokes and images and sent lyrics back and forth abt it <3 aster pyre diluculums my Everything im so srs i owe him my life.......... none of this would be possible without him OR without us constantly enabling each other amen <3

[yuukei-yikes]

Omg omg omg. Hi. Ok so idk if Shintaro would tell Takane about how he killed her in Route XXX (I kinda feel like he wouldn’t) but I definitely imagine that Shintaro is extremely guilty about it and the memory of it straight up haunts him at night sometimes. Dude probably has nightmares about it every now and again

Like imagine Shintaro randomly tightly hugging Takane and immediately apologizing over and over again and Takane is just “??” becuz she doesn’t know what happened!! She’s clueless! She’s not reminded of the horrors like Shintaro is!

Anyways thanks for coming to my KageTed Talk have a good day/afternoon/night

I AGREEEEEEE I AGREE COMPLETELYYYYY his ass WOULD NOT TELL HER but he's so haunted by it!!!!

shintaro sees takane and sees the person who was by his side over a hundred times and he even once killed. augh his self hatred and shit.... i want to explode theyre so best friends they love each other so much. they go everywhere together and are always together 👍

also them hugging ;_; _; ;_; shintaro is so bad with words so resorting to a hug makes sense. there's so much art of ene always clinging to shintaro and while takane (in my delusions) has her whole thing with touch i think she's naturally really clingy and touchy so she's also like. jumping on his back and surprise hugging him all the time and he's like AUGGHHH. i love drawing shintaro&takane hugs where takane holds him bc she's the comforter and shintaro is the pathetic wet washcloth that needs hugging.

GRRR GRRRR POST STR SHINTAKA CONFLICTS COMPLETELY UNRELATED BUT imagine takane having a hard time with something and the dynamic shifts and shintaro Has no idea how tackle the situation with a vulnerable takane. sorry the bit in the seventh novel where takane gets upset for like 30 seconds and shintaro's like. I DONT WANNA EVER DEAL WITH SEEING TAKANE DEPRESSED AGAIN. means so much to me.

ok i always talk abt it, takane would just rely on haruka instead, she also wouldnt go to shintaro yknow. but man shintaro would want to help he just doesnt know how to handle seeing takane like a real person. not so much like the ayano thing where he puts her in a pedestal, with takane is more like... he's used to seeing her play a certain role and when takane moves from it bc of her own problems, he's all out of orbit and he's like Whoa what. also like in the seventh novel he wants to scream and run if he sees her upset like Haha what are you doing ur the sneering girlie in my puter STOP CRYING STOP IT STOP IT THAT'S WEIRD.

i think interesting conflict could come from shintaro insisting to takane he's there for her and she should count on him and have take him into account whenever she needs a shoulder, like he makes a big deal out of that but Then when she really needs him he doesn't actually manage to show up. OR!!!! ANOTHER FUN ONE: he goes and tells her problems to haruka or ayano or worse EVERYONE ELSE because he assumes theyre gonna do a better job than him but he puts her in the worst position of vulnerability ever that she HATES AND IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE IN. like imagine he goes and tells haruka for example. idk What. like she's having a hard time with something, probably about her sensory issues (primarily i think she'd talk to haruka, but imagining shintaro is asking her to count on him too and her actually considering it and doing it). and chose shintaro to talk but shintaro just passes it over to haruka. and takane's like. ur going behind my back telling SHIT I TRUSTED U WITH??? and shintaro's like erm erm. hehe. shes not mad about haruka or whoever else knowing, its shintaro running away that she gets angry at. sry i have a whole fic written in my head

anyways. shintaro is trying to be a good friend to takane but their dynamic is weird and strange and tends to fall back to You dont know anything about me and I know everything about you (takane) and With a side of youve known me in this life while I've known you for over a hundred other lifetimes (shintaro). they make me crazy!

[wegonbealright-09]

ur very much a hater lmao 😭. and last anon was right, yoongi was the one who said the bb hot 100 thing, jk has neverrr said anything about his goals on that chart, even as a group, only celebrated their success after the fact, so not sure where you're getting this "sudden obsession" from. as a matter of fact, jimin has talked more ab his goals for bb than him. and he should ! theres nothing wrong with explicitly stating your goals especially when you make fire ass music that deserves to be number one, its called manifestation and putting their wants into the world. your issue is that you see the 10% of the member's lives that they choose to show us and come up with these narratives to feed your own delusions about how you feel about them and their personalities. bitter ab yoongi going on tour like it has anything to do with his enlistment ? HUH 😭😭? 2+2= fish in your head too ig. and you saying joon being bitter bc he wants to be acknowledged for the work he does... ??? see im typing this out and its just not making sense. he's always done that before they even got instagram, AS HE SHOULD because it's HIS work and if he wants to make a post ab writing some lyrics then he can and you saying he's bitter for doing that is extremely odd. as for tae, be fucking fr lol. u sound like the type to get mad if a member didnt make a happy birthday post like they dont have each others literal phone numbers and addresses. and tae did support jimin's solo songs multiple times on weverse, but you ignore that bc it doesnt fit your narrative. get out your mind, take a walk outside, and come to the realization that you dont know these people and making up these negative narratives ab their personalities is oddball behaviour to say the least. and lastly, joon and suga have nothing to be bitter about. theyre part of the biggest group in the world. their albums are critically acclaimed. this second chapter of bts has brought out the worst in people like you because you constantly try to make it a competition between the members, and theyre not letting you do that bc they actually support each other and congratulate each other in their accomplishments, whether they post it online for fans to see or not. at the end of the day bts trumps all, which is what all 7 members have said and have been saying🤷🏾‍♀️and people like you are just gonna have to suck it up or unstan bc the negativity and d! ck measuring contests are not it and goes against anything bts have ever said about each other.

Anon I should let you write my history essays you know, :⁠-⁠)

Me a hater? Excuse me?

You anon you are the type that goes to posts about jimin stans and qrt " jimin would hate y'all, he's die for his members and put you on fire" every time they trust to address the injustice but okay.

Jk has talked about the billboard he's not even manifesting he knows it it'll lend on his lap because scooter has made sure if that. That man doesn't even shit about his upcoming album he doesn't know shit he's just going to accept it and move on like he did with seven. And lmfao. I'm not obsessed with jk, I've had this blog for such a long time but i didn't post anything I only followed people and interacted in post you can click to see which posts I've liked and who do I follow. But anon I got tired of everyone here acting ignorant like they don't see what's going on, like " yhea we've got some jikook crumbs let's not address the payola and fraud that is going on". I'm not obsessed far from it, this dude lately just pops up in feed and annoys the fuvk out of me, something he's never did before. And also jk is chart obsessed lately even some of his fans can see you don't fine by me.

Jimin never talked about his BB goals like what do you mean. That man wanted to release face as a free album on sound cloud because he felt like this is his story and he wants fans, and everyone to be able to hear it and relate and see the world from his point of view, so you tell me anon you tell me. Jimin didn't even think that like crazy was going to number on he was impressed with how well smf pt2 did because guess what he didn't expect that as well. So idk what you tryna say anon.

I agree I don't know what's going on with their lives. I didn't say I'm telling the truth here or some like that my posts are based on my opinions and observations. If me not agreeing with what most of y'all think is being called delusional girl I've been delulu i still think jimin is going to release and album with Bruno Mars as a featured artist or him and Bruno are going to pay homage to MJ someday so yhea I am delulu.

Birthdays are no big deals I myself I don't celebrate my own birthday and just like jimin I give zero fucks about my birthday. Okay anon I admit I was wrong it's okay for ones best friend to not congratulate him on social media platforms when he had just did the impossible and made history and decides to do so privately only when it comes to them, it's totally okay.

I'm not even going to talk about yoongi and Joon because this I've said what I've said. I'm not backtracking you can go throw yourself off a cliff idc

I thought you said everyone's entitled to their own opinion but now that I'm expressing mine I must touch some grass and take a walk. How about you snap back to reality huh? As I've said if when you see BTS you see rainbows sunshine's and clouds that's okay but I don't and I'm not tryna force my opinions on people I'm just saying what I think and feel and I might be wrong idc it's just how I feel.

Anon I'm not laughing I swear. You know I'm not a hater I've said that in the second chapter there's been a shift in the group's energy and I'm standing on that. Your last sentences wooo anon you're the one to say what I'm doing goes against what bts have said to each other. So is what's jk is going with the fraud and payola but I don't see you ranting and calling him out, he's going against everything that BTS has ever believed in, the legacy they've created, the image they've built. For what? A few records that some western artist is going to break again with more payola than him. If you look as scooters old interviews about Gangnam Style and all. Jk is just a puppet to his show, he hates jimin more than he's ever did because he has a break through in the western market as soloist without his help, he sis what he could do with Gangnam even after all that promotion on his own with little to no promotion

But hey this is just my opinion I don't want to sound" obsessed" so this is the last time I'm talking about jk.

Anon neither you know what's going on behind closed doors but if you like to act ignorant fine by me my opinion and yours are different anyway thank you for visiting my blog and having the nerve to tell me to touch some grass on my own blog smh

[hexfane]

oh shit i forgot tumblr is the PLACE to BE for oversharing. if you see this but dont care no you dont

absolutely insane rabid chomping at the bit madness in part because *hypo*manic episode and in part because genuine life changes nd trying to unlearn bad habits :~[

i am so fucking sick of holding myself back but i am such a dumb kicked puppy for no reason

i eternally am waiting for the shoe to drop. it always feels like im one second away from getting my heart ripped out of my chest and every day i feel so much shame when i Literally Didnt Do Anything. believe me if i had anything to actually gaf about i wouldn't be willingly expressing shit. but im always like Theyre Going To Get Me. who queen!! or Theyre Going To Find Out. find out what queen!!

why am i ashamed of being happy. why am i ashamed of being myself and doing things i enjoy.

why do i have fucking catholic guilt when i wasnt even raised religious lmao

and especially with big ol neon letters why am i ashamed of the fact i want to be known and cared about? ive internalized the fact im undeserving of care and that im doomed to never have it i dont even start and any attempts to even find piece in the segments of reality i set aside for myself makes me feel like im fucking evil. i get so mad at myself for expressing genuine emotion like actually fucking angry like im doing something wrong and people are going to hate me.

i also have a nebulous counter in my head that decides when i have been Too Free and that Now Everyone Will Hate You. Why Did You Do That? You Have Fucked Up. and i only know when i reach that point after ive done it, and it can be triggered by something as simple as liking a post or literally done absolutely nothing

just kidding i know why! it is the neurodivergence. i feel like the way my brain works makes me exist in a manner inherently incongruent from other people and that i am like a fucking creep for even trying to relate to other people, like i am a subhuman for the way i think and feel and live

i left my job recently bc of dumb petty teenage drama that made me have a massive meltdown at my Grown Ass Age and i think that also really fucked my shit up even further because im like borderline agoraphobic about talking to other people now? or being in situations socially that arent fully normalized to me? like im pushing through it and doing New Things TM but it is pretty taxing mentally and i think im on the butt end of that where now im just kinda empty feeling

also if you read this and are psychoanalyzing me yes i already know i suffer from paranoia/delusion issues and thats a big part of my shit ik. i dont do anything to exacerbate any kind of psychosis because for as much as i meme about it i am a pretty fucking conservative smoker and drinker. i eat my wheaties and shit, body has no reason to make me so crazy, and yet.

just know if i ever talk to you or interact with you in any way i have already accepted the fact that me doing that will make you think less of me just by default and fussed over it internally already before making the decision.

did you enjoy the spectacle, if u got down here? dw i dont mean that in a mean accusatory way i like reading these too, i'm nosey. thanks for listening

[rememberthe1fallofsnow]

as a non swiftie with psychosis, id love to know how she makes you feel seen- maybe i dont pay enough attention to the lyrics of her songs when i hear them, but i had no idea they could make people like me feel seen.

i'd love some reccomendations on particular songs you think encapsulates the feeling of being psychotic/mentally ill in general !!

Hey! Thanks for your patience, I’ve been living hell lately and wanted to give you a thorough answer.

So as a general response (but i will definitely put a list somewhere in this ask with all my recs), I do want to preface by saying I am not and will never diagnose Taylor with anything. When I say “this song reminds me of my psychosis” or “this song is so BPD coded,” it’s my own experience and interpretation of a piece of art that she willingly gave out to be experienced and interpreted.

That being said, I’ll also say that when I say a lot of her songs remind me of having psychosis, it’s not about the staple paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, etc that you may experience (although if anyone has any song recs that do relay that lmk pls lmao all I know is paranoia by neoni 😭😭), it’s more about the slightly more widely experienced, uhhhh, “look” to other people? And to explain that, let’s take a deep dive at uhhhh Blank Space

Ok so the first few stanzas, which I’ll put a picture of here, she’s obviously setting the scene of the song and outright states like twice that the relationship will not last. Before my current partner, that was definitely my viewpoint on things. Knowing my mental illnesses will get in the way of any healthy relationships. That doesn’t immediately spell out psychosis but let’s move.

“Got a long list of ex-lovers; they’ll tell you I’m insane.” So yeah here we get to the meat of it, she’s clearly (imo) acknowledging the “crazy bitch” label and I think that’s something every psychotic person experiences to some degree, even the cishet white masc ones. Like yeah probably not as much as like an afab person or a femme aligned person or someone else, but you can’t act like ableism is ever fully stopped by privilege. It’s not.

More on being a crazy bitch—she has a lot of songs on this. She has a lot to say. I will keep listening, bc yeah lmao.

Ok this next part is like… really relatable to me?? Let me know if you agree, lyrics I’m about to discuss are the next image.

So like yeah it’s like a fun song and it sounds upbeat n shit and like I do have a lot of fun listening to it, but if we pay attention to what she’s actually saying, it’s like yeah she’s throwing a party but that’s because what else is there to do? She’s tried controlling it, she’s tried getting help, getting better, she’s tried being honest, being fake, nothing works. (She is me I am she). So… guess we’re crazy bitches now

I don’t know if any of this is making sense so far, ugh it definitely made more sense in my head

Anyway thats like a super basic example but honestly the what I would personally call ableism that she has had to deal with is LITTERED in her songs. Whether she’s psychotic or not, whether she has BPD or not, anything else, idc. Even if she’s perfectly fucking mentally healthy. Anyone coming at her (or her fans, or uhhh anyone??) for displaying what look like poor mental health symptoms, whether they are or not, is coming at her with ableism.

Ok let me pull up Delilah’s /sys playlist lmao.

Ok screenshotted below is our alter Delilah’s playlist, two of them are not Taylor so have fun. But yeah I’ll quickly run through a few of them:

Don’t Blame Me—the feeling of being absolutely consumed by love that it feels like you’re high, like you’re losing your mind, like you’re out of control, and loving it

New Romantics—the feeling of wanting everyone who ever abused you to watch you sing the eras tour live on stage 53 times in the States and 30 international, but they can’t afford to come to the Eras tour themselves or even buy that Spotify sweatshirt that they won (bc they’re a top fan because they listen to your music on loop because your success pisses them off and idk i guess they just don’t know what to do with that) so they talk shit about you online on anon on like young girl’s tumblr accounts trying to like “downfall” the swiftie nation but everyone blocks them immediately, they’re an idiot, and ur still singing the Eras tour in 53 cities in the US and 30 internationally so idk who’s winning?

Who’s afraid of little old me?—fuck you fuck you fuck you it’s your fault i’m like this and now I have to fucking clean it up so fuck you and also watch me absolutely destroy your life with nothing but my songs you idiot fuck you

(I got carried away really fast rip)

Ok yeah this wasn’t as good of an answer as I hoped I’d make but I hope it at least made some sort of sense and my ask box is always open, swiftie or not.

[alyimoss]

i was gonna put this in the tags but quickly realized this would get too long. so.

this is why i like him so much. because he has this delusion that what hes doing is right. that hes justified. that even if he did do something bad, it was spurred on by the ones who wronged him and he is, therefore, the lesser of the two evils. and he refuses to consider that he might actually be in the wrong for that.

this is actually part of his characterization---between the betrayal and head injury and the years of starvation, his patience has eroded almost completely. he will often jump to conclusions and pass (and act on) judgements as soon as he has what he considers enough evidence, which is. really not that much. it shown pretty clearly by the way he punishes aliza for "cheating" in the comic without letting her do so much as get a word in. hes not interested in understanding, only in acting.

anyway yeah the reason i thought this might get long is bc it made me think of my number 1 yapping topic aka horrortale papyrus. because this is actually a pretty interesting contrast between them imo.

bc ht papyrus *actually* had a "lesser of two evils" type of situation. he has done horrible things that are justified. he (at least so far) seems to be the one monster who could feasibly take some sort of moral high ground in ht because, at least as per what weve seen so far, he seems to be the most "reasonable".

papyrus never wanted to eat humans. he never wanted to kill. he was tricked into these things by sans. that choice was taken from him.

but even then, even if he had eaten human meat against his will, he had the choice to continue or not to, right? and he chose to continue.

this is something ive talked abt at length with friends. papyrus's choices in regards to this could basically be watered down to a) dont kill and dont cook and eat humans and stay to his moral code and let himself and other monsters die as a result, or b) go with his brother's idea and keep the residents of snowdin at least occasionally fed.

what he ended up doing was undoubtedly wrong, and he himself would likely say the same, but letting others die for the sake of his own feelings when he could have kept them alive is unbelievably selfish.

he was faced with two bad options, and, moral code failing him and him failing his moral code, he picked the one he felt he would regret the least.

hes shown to be stuck in a sort of mediator role between his ticking timebomb brother and undyne, who doesnt seem to be faring much better. he has to report to her and handle the rage that she doesnt seem to be able to control even for his sake anymore. not a day goes by that i dont think of the brothers' argument in front of aliza, the way papyrus seems to be so unbearably tired of all the things he *has* to do.

he *has* to provide. he *has* to take the unreasonable demands from undyne. he *has* to take her abuse. he *has* to kow-tow to his brother and his whims.

in that argument, the only thing sans cares about is that aliza and papyrus ended up embarrassing him. he wants some sort of payback. he thinks thats justified. that him not getting anything would be unjust.

papyrus just wants someone to do his 5th puzzle. the puzzle hes waited years for someone to try, one that noone ever has because the humans all die beforehand and the monsters are too hungry to think properly, yet alone do much of anything. hes already had to do so much. he has to do so much every single day. doing everything for everyone else's sake. but just this once something can be done for his and hes spent so long waiting that he snaps at (and threatens) his brother.

and again, papyrus isnt exactly a morally good character. his traps and puzzles are deadly and himself has become more sadistic and willing to commit violence, not to mention he upholds this flawed system, even if he does have a reason for it that can make it justifiable. but, unlike sans, most of his struggles arent his own doing. theyre the result of a world that changed around him for the worse. meanwhile, sans is the catalyst for. a lot that is wrong.

i mean, if hed just set aside his need for revenge for one moment, we probably wouldnt have even gotten horrortale as a narrative---his eye did work as a power source. he chose to destroy the core and punish the entire underground for undyne and alphys's betrayal. he let so many monsters get caught in the crossfire.

and his feelings about the way he was betrayed are valid, yes, but he lived. he lived and the plan worked and if hed just done something else to take out his anger the monsters would not have fallen so low. the only reason the system of eating humans to survive exists is because he wanted to further spite undyne. the fact that it kept the residents of snowdin alive in a famine (and not eating each other as is implied for the rest of the underground) was just a lucky bonus. if it turned out it did nothing he still wouldve tried to get the others to do it.

sans wants so desperately to be the victim. to be the one whos been wronged and who is right even when he does something seemingly unforgiveable. he wants this so bad that even when he is the victim, he takes his revenge too far. he wants this because if hes not justified, then everything hes done has been for nothing other than petty rage. it would mean hes even worse than he thought (and he knows hes bad; despite his denial, he doesnt understand why aliza would be so nice to someone who has tormented her so much. he knows the things he does are wrong, he just want to believe, and wants others to believe, that he didnt have a better option).

papyrus *is* the victim. hes had so much responsibility that he has had to shoulder all by himself suddenly thrust onto him and he had basically no say in it. he had to make choices he himself is against because the only other options he was given were far worse than what he went with. in a kind of ironic fashion, hes already lost it all---having betrayed his own moral code, hes not left with much. his worldview is shattered and he cant depend on himself to pick up the pieces anymore but he still does it and keeps going as the shards dig into his hands.

i dont think either of them would be able to look themselves in the eye.

one of my favorite things about horror is that he tries to convince everyone he has some moral high ground. no he doesn't. that's what he wants you to believe. he thinks he's so much better than his rivals because he "doesn't eat any humans." who created that system? who had that idea? who tricked people into believing it was the only solution?

he WANTS you to think he's the one in the right, but he's not. he thinks he's better than everyone else. when he isn't.

if you think he did nothing wrong, good! you just fell for the narrative he created.