#i dont even remember how this idea hit me it just came like a truck in the intro of an isekai | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soft-boi-eli · 3 years ago

Note

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

#jschlatt x reader #mcyt fluff #schlatt x reader #mcyt #mcyt schlatt #dsmp schlatt #schlatt fluff #schlatt #please bind safely #non binary #tw: body harm #tw: body dysphoria #tw: body dysmorphia

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owaowabetch · 4 years ago

Text

Uh Oh (Sykkuno x F!Reader)

Oneshot (maybe part of a series??? idk we’ll see): The Prequel to “Impasta” in which reader meets the gang for the first time and experiences a betrayal. Mainly Friendship

Warning: non-beta, I wrote this in one go and full sent it.

You were a small time Twitch streamer that had recently befriend a streamer with a much larger audience, ValkyRae. You had been talking back and forth for quite some time, since Rae’s dm to you weeks ago. You were mainly an rp channel where you played games like GTA, The Sims, and Animal Crossing. Though you gained a lot of your followers from playing League, though it mostly consisted of hate-followers that would only critique your gaming, even though you were pretty good at it. But it doesn’t bother you too much *que sob*

You were streaming GTA on a RP server playing an amish girl on a Rumspringa and wreaking havoc. You and your ‘gang’ had successfully finished hitting a bank truck ,causing your character to rake in a few thousand dollars, when you got a message from Rae asking you if you had wanted to play a few rounds of the popular game among us.

“Alright guys, a friend asked if I wanted to join her lobby of among us. I know it’s different from the stuff i usually stream, but is that something you guys would be cool with?” You asked your chat and watch an influx of people messaging ‘yes’ or ‘pog’. You take a sip of your Starbucks and picked up your phone to message Rae that you’ll be joining. “Fair warning, I’ve never played among us. So we’ll see how this goes, guys”

While you waited to be invited to the discord and into the lobby, you chatted with your viewers for a bit. “I just realized that I’m really awkward around new people. Like when I’m playing on the GTA Rp Server, I’m not myself, I’m a character you know? So it’s easier to talk with other people, cause they’re also role playing. Plus I don’t think I can call anyone in the discord a musty dusty rat bitch lol or sell them drugs, it’s not that kind of game...unless?...” You laugh as you login to your discord and accept the invite to the discord “alright guys! here we go~”

You enter the discord call and hear people talking.

“Y/N!” Rae exclaims “Guys this is my new friend y/n”

“Hi” Responding to the various voices greeting you

“OK, so the code is in the chat and so are the bubbles, so your chat can see who is talking and what not” Rae explains

You input the code and saw your little character in the space ship. “Oh god guys look at us!” You ran your little character around the ship “How do we change colors? I’m not feeling this blue and I saw Rae with her lil creepy mask”

You read your chat tell you what to do so you went to the little computer to change the blue to white and clicked through all the hats til you decided on the pink flower. “How about this guys? Yellow is my favorite color but its taken”

“Alright, you ready y/n?” Rae asked

“Yup” you respond by running circles around her character

“OK i’m starting. Don’t forget to mute and close chat. You can open it back up if your imposter or dead” Rae sang “Good luck~”

“Alright chat I gotta close you til the game is done? I guess” You hum as the words ‘crewmate’ pop up. “Well at least i’m not imposter, i know the game. I mean who hasn’t at this point. I just never played it, seems to be to nerve wracking”

You open the map icon and run to where the closet yellow exclamation point was, which was admin. You make sure to note all the colors around you in there as you swipe your card “Alright, green, yellow, brown,red, and orange” You repeated the colors over and over again as you make your way into electrical when you notice something “Ok uh green is following me? I don’t know why but its freaking me out.” The lights turn off and you start freaking out “Oh god, this is where I die. Don’t I? You know what do it. Kill me! It’s probably a good idea. I’m kind of an idiot and it’ll help me figure things out on my own without the pressure” You follow the arrow pointing to a panel and you click on it “What am i supposed to do? You know green, this would be the perfect opportunity to murder me in cold blood... is this how you do it?” You flip the switches so that they are all bright green and the lights turn on “YAS BITCH, I did it”

The green character kind of just circles your body as you do tasks in electrical, you do download, wires, and power diverter. “Ok BUT WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME!!”

An orange body had been reported and that two others had died (bright green and pink) and the person who reported the body was black or as his name read ‘Abe’ “Ok, so this body was in admin on card swipe”

“Well this body couldn’t have been me or y/n” Sykkuno says “I was following her this entire time”

“Yea, I’d like to know why lol? You were kinda freaking me out dude” You laugh a bit trying to play off how nervous you were to call him out on it

“Oh No! I was protecting you” Sykkuno explains “I promise”

“Sykkuno? Are you already simping for someone?” Rae feigns exasperation

“No really guys!” He explains nervously “The new person always dies first, so I was just trying to protect her.”

You hum and smile mischievously “Unless, your just trying to gain my trust only to murder me in coldblood in front of my bestie Rae, to prove your superiority over her!?!”

Rae gasps “Really Sykkuno!?! I’m voting you just for that!”

“Wah? No wait! It’s not like that really” Sykkuno starts laughing as Rae votes “Oh God did you really vote for me?”

“Yes” Rae says and you start laughing

“So anyways, Leslie’s body is in admin?” Hafu says wanting to talk more about the body and get all the sus’s and clears

Though you gasp when you realized a few things “wait I have some info to share” teasing Sykkuno had loosened you up a bit “it was me,green,yellow,brown,red, and orange in admin. Then me and green, uh Syyykkkuunnoo? Sorry if i didn’t say your name right, left and went into electrical, then lights were called and I fixed them before finishing off my tasks in there. So the body must’ve died during lights unless she left and came back into admin after lights were fixed? which doesn’t make much sense, sooo yea” you smiled “look at me chat! being all smart and shit”

“yes” Poki agrees “I left admin also with Rae just before lights were called”

“Ok, so I know that puts sus on me, but I went straight to lights when they were called” Hafu says “Someone on the right side must’ve vented when lights were off. Like I was entering the hallway from storage with Tina when lights got fixed and we went to reactor room together. So it couldn’t have been me. Maybe Tina? I dont know which way she come from, but it was not me”

“That is true. I did meet up with Hafu at storage, but I don’t know man” Tina says “ I was doing download in comms”

“Oh god” You tell chat “I don’t know whether to believe Hafu or not. I know she is really good, along with Toast, but he hasn’t said anything”

“Well it is seven and we don’t vote on seven, so we can skip. Just putting a sus on Hafu” Rae says

“Yes please do” Hafu says as she votes to skip

“Do we know where the other bodies are?” Poki asks as the seconds start to dwindle down to zero “Also Toast? Why are you so quiet?”

“I’m trying to figure out a new strat, so don’t you worry. I’ll catch the killers” Toast starts to evil laugh and that was the end of the meeting.

“Ok we’re susing Hafu for this.Though I don’t think it’s her only cause I remember watching one of her imposter plays and it would be a too obvious kill,since so many people were there, it just doesn’t make sense, so someone venting in and killing is plausible or could be a self report? I don’t know lol It’s my first game” You run with Sykkuno and finish up your tasks together. Though lights were called when you both were at shields, you can see the vent pop open and in your little vision bubble you see a flash of red “Whelp this is where I die, I’d like to rate Sykkuno an 8 out of 10 for protecting me, but obviously I am now died” True to your word Rae killed you and you saw Sykkuno running around like a headless chicken when he reports your body

“Oh God! They got her when I was trying to protect her!” Sykkuno exclaims

��Sykkuno! You were supposed to be protecting her!?” Rae shouts “What happened? Did you kill her in cold blood? hmm?”

“smh Rae, you murdered me right in front of Sykkuno” You sigh “Well chat looks like I’m dead and we can speak now”

“No!” Sykkuno denies “I said I was going to protect her. I wouldn’t kill her after saying that”

“Well she’s dead now Sykkuno! Where’s the body?” Toast dramatically says

“It’s in shields. It happened when lights were off” Sykkyno says “I’m sorry y/n, I couldn’t protect you”

“Aw that is so cute” You pout at his apology, it wasn’t his fault. It was dark, so obviously he couldn’t see

“Well I don’t think Sykkuno did this, He said he was protecting her to everyone, so I can say that he’s crew” Hafu says “I’m at light panel, I remember seeing Poki and Tina there”

“I can confirm this” Poki says “So Toast let’s hear your big brain play. What’s your strat?”

It was silent for a minute, before Toast admits that he doesn’t have one.

“Ok so we can all agree that Toast is the imposter right?” Rae says “Vote him outta here!”

“Yep” Tina agrees hitting that vote on him and many follow suit

“Wait guys! WAIT! I do! I do have a strat” Toast screams out “Uhhh... wires! The wires guys!”

“Lol they’re gunna vote him off” You watch people voting “Rae is probably gunna win this”

“Yea, you’ve done that pay before” Poki laughs

“Don’t worry I’ll skip Toast” Sykkuno says

“Why would you skip if we’re on 6?” Rae asks “Is Toast your imposter buddy?”

“Wah? I said I was protecting y/n, why would I kill her?” Trying to make his innocence obvious

“Unless you killed her by accident or Toast did and you’re trying to protect him like the Simp you are!” Rae accuses him

Tina starts to also question Sykkuno “Wait a second, I dont think I’ve seen you do a single task this entire game! You’ve just been following y/n all around! We should vote him off next!”

“Guys, I swear it’s not me, it just doesn’t make sense” You can hear him plead “Oh no guys, how did this get twisted? It’s Rae! But how did it go to thinking Sykkuno as imposter?”

The meeting ends with Toast screaming into the abyss as he is yeeted out with Sykkuno telling him that he voted to skip.

“Ok then chat, looks like the imposters are gunna win, lets talk for a bit” You sigh and start reading the comments “ I know that I didn’t talk much with them, but I’m just awkward in general and I don’t know what to say to them. This is the first time playing with a group like this where i’m supposed to be myself and not a character.”

The words Defeat appeared on screen and there was Hafu and Rae as imposter. “I honestly didn’t think it was Hafu”

“Hafu was that you that killed Leslie in admin? I didn’t think it was “You asked when you returned to the lobby

“NO! I got framed by my own partner” Hafu explains before taking her bathroom break

“How did Rae get that kill cause I was with her?” Poki asks

“I vented from Caf back into admin when lights were off” Rae laughs “and I vented into shields and killed y/n right in front of Sykkuno!”

“Im sorry for not being able to protect you” Sykkuno runs circles around my character “Next round I’ll do better! I promise”

You laugh and start chasing after him in the ship “What if you end up as imposter?”

“Then I’ll have to look away as my imposter buddy kills you” Sykkuno laughs behind his hand and clears his throat “Im joking, Im joking, I promise”

“Wow Sykkuno” You tsk and run over to the opposite side of the room “I don’t know if I want your protection services now”

“Uh” Sykkuno splutters “I’m joking I promise! I won’t kill you as imposter”

“Wait til Corpse hears you simping over someone else” Poki says before starting the game

“Wait Hafu is still in the bathroom!” Rae exclaimed, but it was to late to stop the game from starting, so she’ll have to jump in when she comes back. Though you swear you feel your heart jump out of your chest when the words Imposter read on you screen. The 1st of the night for you and another in a row for Hafu.

“Oh God guys. Hafu is in the bathroom, but she has to carry us” You start to panic “What we do we do!?! Wait is Sykkuno seriously gunna follow us? Should we kill him or would that be to obvious?” You see the chat tell you that it would be to obvious and that it would be better to maybe frame him, but it seems to mean to you “Should we kill someone in front of him? You know to test his loyalty? It’s a terrible idea”

Though before you go on to fake tasks, you see Sykkuno standing on top of Hafu’s body, so you also go ontop of Sykkuno’s and to the outside perspective you are protecting Hafu, but really for you it’s to ensure that your imposter partner is going to be walking around and killing people,once she comes back from the bathroom. It seems that Hafu is back from the bathroom as her yellow character starts making her way away from you both. You and Sykkuno make your way to admin when lights get called and Sykkuno starts to wiggle his body around into a corner. It seems as though he wants you to stack with him in a corner, but before you do you double back when you see a body pass by and kill them, though you start to laugh when you see your character kill Rae, before ‘stumbling’ into Sykkuno’s view in the corner. You both stay there as lights turn back on and go on card swipe. You think about juking Sykkuno, but realize that it’ll look sus on you for ditching him. So you two just walk around ‘completing’ tasks as every once in a while the lights would go off and you two will stack on each other or wait for doors to open which you had been closing alot of them.

“Honestly guys I’m at a point were I just wanna murder someone in front of him” You start to evil laugh as you both stack in the corner of medbay as lights start turning on when a body got called

“It’s toast, it’s toast, it’s toast” Hafu chants as it was her who reported the body “I saw him kill Poki”

“oh she self reported” you note and click on Toast’s name but not locking in your vote just in case. You also noticed that four people had died “She killed three people!?! Wow she is beast in this game! Holy Shit guys”

“see, from my perspective it’s hafu. I didn’t see the kill, but I did see blood splatter and Hafu immediately reported the body and blamed me, so it has to be Hafu. I’m voting her” Toast explains and votes her

“no no no no no no no. I saw you kill her when lights got fixed.” Hafu describes her side and what she did in that round “ Ok guys I was afk for like the first 20 seconds and I see Sykkuno and y/n there standing on me in caf., and I’m just doing my tasks, which I finished by the way, so I’m just going back and forth going to cams and just walking around to find any dead bodies. So if you saw cams on in the last 30 or so seconds it was me. I’ve also been fixing lights too! Peter and Leslie should be able to vouch for me on that! But on this round of lights I’m making my way to go help fix them when i see blood flicker in my little bubble and as it starts to get bigger I see Toast walking away from it. Its Toast. It is 100% Toast.” She locks her vote on him “Vote him please. If you don’t vote then you’re either imposter or just throwing”

“I don’t know guys” You start and hover your mouse over the green checkmark next to Toast’s name “I’ve been with Sykkuno the entire round and we did guard Hafu’s body. For Hafu to say that she saw Toast kill, but toast didn’t see Hafu kill? It just doesnt make sense so I’m voting Toast” You lock your vote in when Hafu reminds everyone that crew has to vote together since it is on six. Reminding Peter and Leslie that Hafu has been fixing lights got their votes, but Sykkuno was hesitant “You know I can never vote Toast guys, but I have been with y/n this entire time and I know it’s not her. So, I’m sorry Toast but uh” He locks his vote in for either Hafu or Toast? Who knows if he’s simping over Toast hard.

“Sykkuno?” You can hear Toast tremble his voice “Sy-sykkuno? Who did you vote for? Sykkuno!?!?! Do- Don’t tell me...did you really vote me?”

“I uh “ He clears his throat as the votes get out and all of us had voted Toast

Toast gasps “Sykkuno!?! How could you!?!?!”

“I’m sorry! I just trust y/n!” Sykkuno explains as Toast’s body once again gets yeeted out into space.

“Wow guys, looks like we’re gunna win our first imposter game!” You wiggle around happily “and we literally did nothing...wait we killed Rae! We got our revenge from the last round mwua hahahahaha”

Sykkuno and I run circles around each other before walking back into medbay. You can see Hafu kind of trailing behind and the doors get locked with us three in it, but Hafu is just standing there. “Chat what is Hafu doing? Why is she just standing there” You can see Sykkuno step on the med scan “Wait she wants ME to kill SYKKUNO! Oh god that is so evil lol but i’m so useless as imposter, so I might as well get in at least 25% of the kills”

Once Sykkuno steps off you just murder him and you see that you had won.

“I- I can’t believe you just killed me!?! I trusted you y/n” Sykkuno exclaims

“Sykkuno” Rae sighs “she KILLED ME in caf! Why did no one NOT SEE MY CHOPPED BODY IN CAF!”

You just laugh “I’m sorry Sykkuno, but my chat was telling me that Hafu wanted me to kill you”

“Yea, cause I did like all of the kills and sabotages” Hafu recounts who and how she killed

“Sykkuno, you giant simp. I can’t believe you vote me” Toast tsk’ed

“I can’t believe y/n was the imposter! and she killed me!” Sykkuno shakes his head “you know what i’m no longer protecting you anymore”

“Wait Sykkuno I’m sorry. Really” You giggle

“No no no it’s ok, it’s all part of the game” Sykkuno reassure you that he is not actually mad and that he hoped you had fun “But i wont be protecting you from now on, I have scars now”

So, you play a few more games before calling it quits and end your stream. Later on, you find that Sykkuno started following you on Twitter and Instagram, You totally did not stalk both of his pages and you totally don’t think that he’s cute.....

SideNote: You totally murdered someone in front of Sykkuno and he totally didn’t snitch on you. Instead he protected you as you ran around killing more people in front of him and like the giant Simp he is he totally went ‘I neva snitch on you Daddy, I hold a brick for you Daddy’.

#sykkuno x reader #sykkuno x y/n #sykkuno imagines #sykkuno fanfic #youtubers x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse imagines

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icecoffeesimpwriting · 4 years ago

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Hey so I was thinking. Super angsty Edward x reader where the reader is upset about how he up and left like in new moon. we still go to volterra to save him, right? but as soon as he's safe you walk away. you're like "my work here is done" and eddy boi is like "what? you don't want me?" and you argue bc he's a dumb boy who you can't trust? I know you wanna see eddy boi get his feelings hurt. I support this, so hurt. his. feelings. i guess you can end it fluffy and cute too if you want :* <3

OHHHHH I LOVE HURTNG PEOPLE’S FEELINGS NGL I MIGHT MAKE MYSELF CRY WRITING THIS ALSO WARNING IM CALLING OUT ON SOME OF THE TOXICNESS I SAW WITHIN EDWARD IN THE MOVIES

Edward Cullen x Reader but plot twist the reader ends up someone else

~When Edward left you felt so broken and betrayed he had left to protect you but that didn’t make any sense

~You had given him everything, you stopped hanging out with the wolves it hurt but you had still texted them without him knowing, the wolves were pissed they saw how toxic Edward was and they knew he had under his thumb but still it wasn’t healthy for you

~After staying in your room and thinking about what had happened you had locked yourself away from the world just needing time to think

“Hey dumbass open your door”

“Go away”

“Y/n open this door or I’ll break it down you know I will”

~The voice of Leah was behind your door you knew she would keep her word and so you got out of your bundle of blankets and opened the door Leah came and looked around there were cups and plates around your room

“Damn it Y/n come on go take a shower I could smell you outside your house”

“Leah, fuck off”

“Hey you shut the hell up go shower and get ready we got somewhere to be”

“What the hell are you talking about Clearwater?”

“You need to get soooo me and you are going to go have fun and then hang out with the pack at Mom’s house plus they miss you”

~You huffed and did what as she said the shower had felt good and getting out and brushing your teeth for the first time in a while felt even better.

~When you got back into your room you saw that all the dishes and trash were picked up as well as your bed being made,

~You knew Leah had done it she always looked out for you when life was kicking your ass, you had gotten dressed and done your usual routine coming down stairs to see Leah waiting

“You ready slow ass?”

“Clearwater shut up”

~You two stared at each other and then busted out laughing you had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Leah unlike the Cullen’s you felt like you didn’t have to hold back the Cullen’s were nice and had their fun moments but most of the time you felt like you were stiff around them

~You two walked out and got into Leah’s truck as you drove around town just talking and catching up you felt emotions stir inside of you, you had feeling for Leah before you met Edward but you always pushed them away scared that she didn’t feel the same and when you met Edward it made the feelings disappear slowly but they were still there and now seeing her and talking you made you remember them and they were just as strong maybe stronger than what you felt for Edward

~As you drove around you stopped at little coffee shop in town you had came here with Leah a lot but when you dated Edward you had stopped going it felt wrong to go without her as you two pulled in you felt your mouth thinking about the amazing drinks and cakes they had when you two had placed your order you two had sat down and talked,

“So about Edward”

“What about him Leah?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but Y/n listen to me he wasn’t good to you he was toxic and kept you away from us”

“Leah please”

“No listen, please Y/n we’ve known each other for years I know you and when you dated Edward you were not you. You were stiff and kept in a cage basically he kept you away from us”

“Leah,,,”

“You know I’m right Y/n”

~You felt like crying she was right and you hated it you hated knowing she was right Edward had kept in you in cage and hearing her say made reality hit you felt the tears spill over

~Leah reached over and grabbed your hand took you outside when outside Leah wrapped her arms around you holding you as you cried

“Y/n listen to me I know it’s hard and I want better for you I wished you could see it someone out there could love you and give you what you need, I could- I mean someone else could give you that”

~Wait what had Leah just almost confessed?

“Leah did you just say you could be that person?”

“Y/n I’m sorry I know you don’t like me like that but I-”

~You kissed her you wrapped your arms around her and kissed her

“Leah Clearwater I love you, I loved you before Edward and I was so scared that you didn’t feel the same and when I felt some feelings for him and started dating him the feelings were still there and then he took me away from you and that hurt more than anything”

“Y/n you’re a dumbass”

“Huh? I just confessed to you and you me a dumbass?! What the fuck Leah?!”

“Listen L/n I called you a dumbass for thinking a a vampire could replace me I love you more than anything but damn you think someone could replace me?”

“Pftttt Leah shut up and kiss me again”

~And she did it felt right and better than it ever did with Edward it felt passionate and warm and loving

“Alright we gotta go or else the pack will be mad at us”

��~When you had gotten to the house the pack welcomed you back and they were happy to you and Leah together finally Seth had joked around that if he had to hear Leah talk about you again he would fling himself off a building and Embry jumped in and soon the rest did too all joking and picking at you two Leah was to happy to care at the moment but then when she took you home things changed

~Leah stood on guard in front of you

“Wait there’s someone in your house”

~The said person came out and there stood Alice with a shocked look on her face

“Alice what are you doing here?”

“What I am doing here is seeing what you are doing, why are with the wolves?”

“Why do you care?”

“Y/n please Edward is going to Italy to see the Volturi he wants to kill himself”

“What?! Why?!”

“I saw you get into a car with someone and get hurt and a bunch of other things and Edward saw thinking you were dead”

“Shit, Alice we have to do something”

“Wait Y/n don’t this isn’t your problem”

“Stay out of this wolf this none of your business”

“It actually is my business cold one me and Y/n are in a relationship now”

“What, Y/n tell me it isn’t true?”

“Yes Alice we made it official tonight I love Leah and I always have even with Edward and no offense but your brother is an asshole and treated me like shit! He kept me away from my friends and that’s not healthy! Leah has always treated me good I will go with you to save Edward but then I’m done I don’t care anymore I’m happy now and it took me being treated like shit from your brother to realize that Leah will always be the only one for me”

“Y/n,, I had no idea I’m sorry okay let’s go”

“Alright but Leah’s coming with us and don’t try to argue with me”

“Damn right I’m coming”

~When you two had made it there you and Leah had raced out of the car towards Edward Leah using her nose to help you to him you had finally found him and when you did he was about to step out into the sun you tackled him just in time.

“EDWARD DONT”

“Y/n you’re okay, you’re alive”

“Yeah no thanks to you”

“What?”

~You stepped away from him went back to Leah back to where you belonged

“Y/n why is she here?”

“Because Edward I’ve moved on I came here to save your sorry ass and now I’m going back to Leah and the pack I’m sorry but we weren’t good together you treated me bad and kept me from my friends I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore I’m going back to Forks with Leah and I’m going to forget about you”

“Y/n please”

“Please nothing goodbye Edward I hope you treat partner better than you did me”

~When you two left you felt no guilt you were with the love of your life and and were finally happy and that’s how it should be

~fin~

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #leah clearwater #leah clearwater x reader

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tristallyn · 11 months ago

Text

kind of rambly so under a read more but bear with me. the reason this is important

The circumstance: i HAD the idea to do this on my own but theres No fucking way i wouldve DONE IT on my own at this point in time! and theres no fucking way i wouldve just randomly DM'D someone to do it WITH me a this point in time!

so This happening was extremely fucking lucky cause if it had NOT (ie: dave had not threatened goldy or i had decided not to ask about it in dms just then) THEN:

goldy probably wouldnt be NEARLY as compelling of a character me as they are right now Which is important in itself

^ after ccc got deleted i missed playing them so much that i started Porting them to other places/groups just so i could keep going (like creature crossing and eventually twitter). obviously that wouldnt have happened

I had to learn how to semi-competently draw humans because the necessity of them having one for cc slammed into me like a semi-truck

Very Responsible for the fact im nonbinary now. i dont remember Exactly when this was happening but. at mostthey started that thought process entirely and at least they pushed me over the edge to go "Ok yeah not a demigirl just nonbinary". leaning towards the first option but again I Dont Rember

points at trists first design. Fucking Look At Her

I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD TELL SOME LEVEL OF INSPIRATION HERE. I WAS HOVERING OVER REDESIGNING THIS BITCH FOR MONTHS BECAUSE I WASNT HAPPY WITH HER CURRENT DESIGN BUT DIDNT HAVE ANY DESIGNS I WAS MORE HAPPY WITH THAN GOLDY UNTIL THIS BITCH CAME ALONG

anyway back on goldy: made a twitter parody of them which introduced me to rp twitter, which eventually led to a REAL rp account,

which Btw we wouldnt even be having this conversation if that didnt happen because i wouldnt have met marcy. or jaqlyn. hi marcy hi jaqlyn :]

This whole series of events absolutely played into my want to fuck with my own characters more often

every bad thing that has happened to both radiobox and trist (the character) that wasnt a result of another person was Indirectly goldys fault for being such a fucking Example of what trying to kill a guy could do for their ongoing plot

and i mean im not going to go into those 2 indepth but i feel as if ive caught 2 really fucking good characters from it and im so happy they make me so happy

I think this genuinely improved my storytelling ability a lot

So like

Thanks goldy sorry i hit you over the fucking head but in return you irreversibly altered the course of my life. Ily. Do you guys see why this stupid goddamn fish means so much to me

Where the hell would i even be if none of this happened if that dm never happened if i just got SLIGHTLY UNLUCKY wha tthe FUCK. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway thats it. good night and good goldy

i had a conversation with marcy i think yesterday or the day before that and of all the rp context and shit i lost when the ccc server got deleted i cannot believe i still have the most important fucking dm ever from it

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voooorhees · 4 years ago

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Wax Statues

Vincent sinclair x female reader

cw: sick reader

It was weird how you befriended the Sinclairs, one moment you were walking down the highway and the next you were in Lester's truck talking about bones. Lester somehow managed to talk Bo into keeping you around, claiming that you “could help liven up the town!”

So here you are now, sitting at the kitchen table with Lester and Bo eating the dinner you had cooked, or well, you weren’t eating

“What’s wrong darlin’? Everything good over there?” Lester spoke softly, eyes meeting yours. “You look a lil pale-“ He was abruptly cut off by his older brother “If you’re gonna get sick, don’t do it here” Bo said sharply “Jeez Bo don’t be a bitch right now, the lil lady ain’t feeling good. How about i take your plate and you go lay down?” You nodded. “Yeah Les that would be nice, thank you” you said, voice slightly trembling as you stood and the room started spinning. “Do you think you can help me to my room? I’m a little dizzy” Lester quickly set down your plate on the counter, grabbing onto your arm “Oh! Be careful there darlin’ I got you” You managed a small “thank you” to him as he helped you walk to your bedroom and into your bed. “You ain’t looking too well sugar, I gotta help Bo with something but i’ll send Vincent up with some medicine” he said as he set a hand onto your forehead, “Oh yeah i’ll go get him now, you’re a little warm but you know i can’t keep Bo waiting” You nodded again and told him to keep Bo in check (which you know won’t happen) but you were kinda excited to see the other twin, you don’t see him often and it’s usually in passing. You knew Vincent was very quiet and wasn’t one to speak but you were always happy to see him- something Bo would mess around with you with. “How come you get so happy to see Vince? He ain’t nothin special sugar, he just works and that’s it. He ain’t much of a talker either so i don’t see why you’re happy to see him, you got me and les to talk to” you remembered Bo saying one afternoon after Vincent brought him a tool he needed. You remember how he moved so lithely, he was quiet and his demeanor seemed gentle (even though you knew what they do) and his hair framed his masked face in such an entrancing way. To say the least you were enamored by him. He was different You were thrown from the memory as a soft knock echoed from your door “come in, it’s unlocked” you spoke, heart beating fast as you anticipated seeing Vince The door handle turned quietly and it was pushed open. Vincent’s long hair flowed in as he peaked his head through the door, checking to see if you were in bed. He pushed the door open more and fully stepped in, leaving it open slightly. “Hey Vinny” was all you could manage without your voice shaking. He nodded his greeting and went to walk over to you. Suddenly you felt your whole body get hot and your vision went blurry. You were gonna say something until everything went black and you fell out of the bed. Vincent quickly ran over to you, picking you up bridal style and sat down on the bed with you in his arms, he really didn’t know what to do now. He pulled out the medicine he was going to give you and set it next to him, but a realization hit him. He was holding you and he could see all the details on you. The way your hair fell and how your eyes were closed or even the way your hands fell limply to your side. A thought crossed his mind, something he had been trying to ignore for the longest time, “She is the best artwork i’ve ever seen. An Utter masterpiece, something carved by the hands of a god” he thought, bringing a hand to move some hair out of your face. He sat there with you for a bit, admiring all the little details you carried up close, memorizing it all so he could sketch it out later. He was mesmerized A soft groan came out of you as you woke up, curious on who was holding you. Looking up your eyes met the sharp blue of his

“Oh hi there” you mustered, grinning like a fool. “ ‘re you ok?”. You let out a small laugh, “Yeah i’m okay now that you’re here, did i faint?” you spoke, looking into his piercing blue eye. You really didn’t expect him to speak but he caught you off guard

“yeah you did” he smiled under his mask, his voice was rough from not using it too often

“you have a nice voice vince, could i hear it more often?” you said, sitting up in his lap now, he looked shocked. He just shook his head and laughed faintly

“You need medicine” he laughed. “you dont look too well. Pale.” he said, handing you some pills that he had taken out of the bottle. You took them with the glass of water that was on your nightstand. He went to stand up with you still in his lap, so you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck so you wouldn’t fall and he held onto you by your thighs. The tension in the air was thick and suffocating, there was no denying the feeling. Vincent’s brain was going too fast to process was just happened, he tried to speak but he just stammered

“You need a nap” he managed to get out, very flustered and face hot enough that he thought it was going to melt his mask. He set you down onto the bed and pulled the blanket over you

“ ‘f you need anythin’ let me know” Vince said on his way out your room.

“I will, and thank you for taking care of me vince, it means a lot. I’ll call for you if i need anything i can’t get myself.” He shook his head in understanment and softly closed the door. You laid there, heart beating quick as his footsteps faded. You had an idea for later but for now you laid down to sleep, you truely were exhausted but your mind was going 100mph thinking about all that just happened. The morning was going to be interesting

//note// so this is my first kinda full length story, so if y'all like this then i can make a part two and whatnot 💜

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #slasher x reader #slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #house of wax 2005 #lester sinclair

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brelione · 4 years ago

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Toxic PT 2 (Rafe Cameron X Reader)

Request:plz make a part 2 to toxic!!!!

Pt 1

Warnings:Smut,unhealthy relationships.

He had stayed awake for hours that night.He had tried calling you at least 20 times only for you to block his number.He had decided that enough was enough, getting dressed in actual clothes before quietly leaving his house and starting his drive to yours.

He hadnt been to your house in two weeks, you had claimed that it was too messy and that you didnt really want him to be there.He pulled into your driveway,seeing the red lights on through your window.

He had no idea why you liked the red lights so much but he figured you just had them because you could.He remembered the first time he had been over your house.

It had been a ‘date’.You two sat on your bed, scrolling through netflix.Your room was lit with the red led lights that were sticking to your wall, the remote not too far away. “Wait,wait...wait, hold on.Can I change the color?”He had asked, giggling like a child when you said yes.He had pressed all the buttons, making purple and blue before settling on a cotton candy pink. “Are you done?”You had asked, laughing at how excited he had been over colored lights.He nodded, finally handing you the remote back.

He got out of his truck,trying his best not to slam the door.He knew that your parents had gone to the mainland for the weekend.He reached under one of your plants to find the spare key,opening your door.

You had told him where it was in case of emergencies.You were his go to person whenever he got into an argument with Ward and didnt want to be at his house for a moment longer, instead driving to your house for a kiss, a hug and sex.

He licked his lips nervously, sighing before making his way upstairs and into your room, opening the door.It felt like it had been forever since he had sat on your bed with your body resting against him, his arms around your waist.

It had been long since you guys had even had a nice little moment like that, cuddling and innocent kisses.He loved sex but he still missed those little joys of the relationship.His eyes widened at what he saw.

You were on your bad in just your bra and underwear, the red light making your room look like the pits of hell.You turned to look at Rafe,sitting up and glaring at him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?I blocked you for a reason, get the fuck out!”You shouted at him.Of course you were mad at him.It wasnt really mad about him cheating, you were more mad about who he had cheated on you with.Anyone else you could understand but you couldnt understand Ellie.

Even if he was high or drunk or whatever excuse he had.She was a total bitch.You didnt even consider Rafe your boyfriend, you had considered him more of a friend with benefits since you guys had began to drift emotionally.

He gulped,feeling himself beginning to shake. “I just-i want-want to fix things.”He mumbled, taking in a deep breath. “Yeah?You should’ve thought about that before you fucked Ellie.You think I give a shit about you,Rafe?You’re stupider than I thought, youre just my fuck buddy.Now get out of my house before I call the cops.”You glared up at him, watching his eyes fill up with tears.

He shook his head, trying to speak. “No,no you cant-you love me.You do!Have you been lying this whole time?”Tears rolled down his face,trying to breath but forgetting how.You licked your lips, leaning back on the mattress.You knew how this would end, with his cock buried inside of you as he tried to convince you that he actually cared about you.

“Rafe, I dont love anyone.That includes you, okay?Its not my fault that you have a thing for me, thats on you.Its your fault for fucking some other bitch, understand?”You asked, not missing the way that his eyes flicked down to your slightly parted legs.

“But….but you care about me?Dont you?”He asked but it sounded more like a sob.You sighed,shrugging. “Rafe, you know I dont give two shits about anybody.You’re just a good fuck, alright?”You needed him to understand.

You could tell that he was breaking apart right in front of you and it pulled at your heart strings as you watched him cry.You wanted to love him but it just didnt seem possible. “Stop crying, Rafe.”You stood up, wiping the salty tears from his face. “So….so are we done?Are we...we cant...we’re not fucking anymore?”He asked,making you laugh quietly.

“No feelings attached, understand?”You asked.This was probably one of the worst things you had ever done.You were most definitely a toxic person and that was as clear as the water at the private beaches.

He nodded,sniffling a bit before blinking away the tears that were building up in his blue eyes.You stood on your tip toes, kissing him gently.He melted under your touch,his hands touching your waist lightly almost like he was scared he would break you.

He really loved you, he was positive that he did.He just couldnt figure out how to show it.You slowly stepped backwards,bringing him with you as you laid on the bed,your legs wrapping around his waist.You pulled away,leaving kisses and hickeys down his neck.He let out a soft moan, obsessed with the way you felt against his body.

He was obsessed with you in general, the way you made him feel was absolutely insane.His eyes focused on your face, you were now straddling him, the red light hitting your cheekbones beautifully.He didnt know when his shirt was pulled off, your eyes falling down to the hickies that Ellie had left.

“Hmm...she’s not too good at that.”Your finger tips grazed his chest,stopping at every hickey the girl had left.He nodded, agreeing. “You’re so much better...she just wanted to make you mad.”He leaned up for a kiss only for you to push him back down,your hand on his throat.

“I know, seems like she made you more mad though.”You looked over to your door, noticing the small dents the two of you had made.It only took a few more moments for the two of you to be completely naked,Rafe turning the two of you over so he could be in control.

He didnt need to take out anger, he just wanted to be gentle this time.He wanted to make you feel good so he could apologize, wanting to enjoy this with you now in case this was his last time being in your bed.He slid in and out of you slowly, hitting all the spots deep inside of you.He wanted to whisper that he loved you over and over again.

No feelings attached,he remembered,instead just resting his head in the crook of your neck as you tugged at his hair.He was trying not to cry,biting hard on his lip to hold back the tears,pressing his body against yours, clinging onto you like a life line.

“Rafe...Rafe,please….please go faster.”You whimpered,your legs around his waist, trying to urge him to go faster. “Hmm….why should I?”He grinned,looking down at you.You rolled your eyes, gripping his jaw. “Because you love me,dont you?”You asked.He gulped,nodding.

“Then why dont you want me to feel good?Dont you want me to feel good,daddy?”You pouted,grinning when you saw his eyes widen.He was quick to speed up,pulling out so his tip was barely grazing your entrance before slamming in,his eyes rolling back at the scream you let out.

“Fuck, Rafe.”You whimpered,nails scratching red lines into his back. “You’re so tight….you feel so good.”He moaned,nails digging into your hips. “Did Ellie feel this good?”You asked,tugging at his hair so he’d look up at you. “No...never.”He answered, leaning down to kiss you gently.

“I know.”You bit down on his lip,able to tell that he was close. “Im gonna cum.”He was bruising the skin of your thighs but you didnt care. “Hold it.”You told him.He looked surprised, never hearing that from you before. “What?”He asked.

“Hold it.”You repeated,turning him onto his back, fingertips pressing into his throat as you rolled your hips against him. “Please.”He clenched his eyes shut, in physical pain from his need to finish. “Nope, you fucked another girl.You dont deserve it.”You answered, squeezing harder on his throat as you came,getting off of him.

He was angry, staring down at his still hard cock. “But-but what about me?”He asked as you panted,getting your panties back on. “You should’ve thought about that before.You should go, ive got things to do.”You pulled on a pair of short shorts, not bothering to put on a bra as you pulled a thin yellow shirt on.

He had seen the shirt on his floor before, peeling it off of your body and throwing it to the floor.He felt tempted to look through your closet for any of his clothes, any proof that you had once been his.

He had plenty of your stuff, a small stuffed animal, a gold ring that he often wore on his pinkie, sunglasses that you had left at his poolside.He kept your stuff mainly to reassure himself that you were an actual person and that you guys were actually together.He had wondered if you did the same, knowing that you probably didnt but wanted a solid answer anyways.

“What?”He asked,his voice cracking.You sighed,putting your hair into a bun, sliding on your shoes. “You heard me, Rafe.”You replied,handing him his shorts from your floor.He was still shaking as he pulled on his clothes, his hair disheveled and his face red.

“So- so tomorrow?Like, you’ll come over tomorrow and we can do some stuff.”He played with his fingers anxiously, taking in a deep breath. “Okay.”You answered, tying your converse. “Okay...um...will you unblock me?”He asked, tapping his foot on the floor.You shook your head, telling him to leave.

He closed your door, trying not to think too much as he got into his truck, staring up at your window,seeing you leaning your elbows on the window sill,smoking a blunt.

He knew that relationships should never be like this you were as toxic as they come but he just couldnt get enough of you.It really did suck but it was just the way things were and he’d have to learn to accept it, backing out of your driveway.

@sexytholland @28cnn @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae

@sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

#rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron imagine #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe x y/n #outerbanks rafe #rafe fanfiction #drew starkey #outer banks #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron headcanon #rafe #obx

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years ago

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hello hello hello! and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural.

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12. I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round. HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance, and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad). Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation. **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?) We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily]

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY

How do you know all that?

DEAN

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY

John Winchester.

DEAN

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME. Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”). The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas. I HATE it here in super hell. Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt. This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines). We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand. That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment? In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment. This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John. That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean. Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument. That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN. We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried. The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone. The part that helped Amara. The part that loves Cas. And that’s why Amara brought her back.

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth -

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean.

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok? Ok. You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people. Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks.

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY

And you took it?

GREGORY

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that. Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing. You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.

#spn #spn meta #spn analysis #spn recaps #season 12x01 #season 12 #supernatural #destiel #dean cas #spn fandom #toni bevell #sorry this is long af #but not really sorry bc its mainly due to the additional pics of Toni bevell #and you need her in your life #myspnmeta

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

Text

i wish more than anything he could have had this. i love you man

i really fucking do

my love for nirvana and immense respect for kurt isn't something i ever expected. after being a huge fan of jonghyun too as a musician, a person who had things to say, a human being. the people around him. i fucking hate that kurt is gone and i was like...2. i got into hole when i was like 25 really heavily and refused to listen to nirvana. didnt' care about these white boys. but there's a reason why people love this band and why they loved kurt. i get mad sometimes at his death—selfishness—and then i make jokes to deal and cope. we all do with everything. it's just that and this is from a cis person...but i know so many trans people or people on the gender spectrum who have read his journals see him as someone struggling with gender. and after years of thinking and becoming such a huge fan i think that was honestly the truth. i think at this point we're all pretty sure he was gender queer or struggling with identity.

his aversion for oppression, his stand with the marginalized, not accepting racism, homophobia, transphobia BECAUSE THAT IS THE HEART OF DIY (spurred by my black people cos ofc it is and we do everything) and i wish that he could have beeen better.

to me it seems like his pain with his crohns (or wahtever he had) lead to his intense struggle with drugs because that's pretty common when needing pain management. on top of that, his family's history of MI. on top of that, his life being hounded and not being prepared for it (this i think is the idea of white privilege at work and wasn't naive of him necessarily, but...it's just something he thought wouldnt happen to him. that's whiteness at work as who they were as a diy fucking anti pop anti capital punk band. sonic youth said 'we didnt sell out, we made them buy in') and his rship with courtney. he said without court he might be gay or bi.

i won't read his journals, it's too fucking much for me and i dont feel allowed or maybe i will when i can handle it, but i know reading about them and him and hearing the way he changed his songs and his abhorrence for bravado, for men that talk about women as disposable and sex objects, for not being able to enjoy a punk band, for the whiteness and maleness. krist novoselic was a 6'7 fucking bassist and dave grohl is a sizeable dude with hideous tattoos. back then, no one said a fucking bad thing about them. come as you are.

we know that suicide is a state we get into. when you go to a psych ward you see that it's actually calm and an ebb/flow. it is extremely fucking boring. the thing is we don't know if these feelings last forever. we can't go back and time and history cannot change. it was his decision, like jonghyun's, to end his life. but i know there could have been longer. if they got help. i try not to resent courtney especially not now with people being irresponsible and unearthing the FBI report on him. he killed himself but it was definitely emotionally sparred by her and she should have told people what happened weeks before his death.

but no one failed him per se. his suicide note is full of hope and it kills me to see. he should have been able to be whoever he wanted. been a son, been a daughter, been anything.

whenever i hear the changed lyrics or see him in a dress or hear distress i dont know. i wish we didnt lose him but i also know that no one wants to go back to that time. it wasn't necessarily great but it wasn't all bad. and i wish commodity didn't destroy legacy. i wish we werent's so obsessed with the death and gore instead of the liveliness and hilarity of this band and of kurt. and i wish we could talk about him more and the idea that maybe there's so much going on with it; i have many critiques for things they have done, things kurt has done as well.

i'm talking in circles but i genuinely just get bummed. every day he is still dead. but this dude man......i love him a lot. i'm so glad nirvana gave what they did to the world. getting to know kurt so long after the fact is fucking hard sometimes. it is frustrating. but focusing on the positives too or trying to understand another perspective has given me a lot of insight. and i always try and remember that it wasn't just one thing, that nirvana were a band, it wasn't just him, and he could have been better but it just didn't work out that way. it's not solely about his internal pain and the narrative of a tortured artist is suffocating.

he wanted to be a star, make this insane pop song, and when he got it he didnt realize it became everything he hated. he was already struggling and all this shit hit a point. i have mad respect for them still. dave grohl said billie eilish is the kurt of her gen (about 2 yrs ago) and that drives me up a wall for various reasons. antiblackness and class. fuck that. these dudes were poor as fuck trucking it through washington with other bands and the basis is blacness and black art they were trying to fight and make it and give a shit man. it didnt turn out the way they could handle but they were not PRIMIING themselvs for musical stardom. no artist who cares would do that. but if you get the recognition you want because who doesn't, it comes at a price too.

this is why i critique commodity and capital so intensely. i participate, and i will have to as an artist. i don't have a desire to be poor because i've lived a life that gave me space to see what i want to do. i have class privilege (and a lot of debt) and i am grateful. but it isnt like i dont want peopl eto know. it's just that i know that i can't give in and accept and demand nothing and then decide to hoard it to myself. taht money that goes in funnels out and is not for me to keep. there is no trickling down. dont paly yrself.

artists like kurt and in a sense like MF Doom (rapper who only came out to be seen when he wanted to) or DMX even it's like....man u came out fucking fighting to be heard you know. do your thing. make your shit. be amazing. esp black people. DMX had a fucking face for a camera. hopefully i'm gonna watch belly at my best friend's house on the 28th.

i wish everyone who deserves to stay can stay until their body releases them in the most pleasant way as possible. jessica walter's death made me sad, but she was older and i'm so happy she got to live. same with cicely tyson. at the same time, the young deaths over drugs, suicide, accidents....id on't really get it. why is kissinger alive but these people can't stay? how did this come a somber tale of death instead of just i fucking love kurt cobain lmao

he's def one of those ppl that im like u rock. him, robeson, seberg to an extent. hm who else. wong kar wai, jenkins, joe (thai filmmaker whose name i cant spell.) all those people who are running forward on their own and beating their chest. yea i like that. an award is just another award. what matters is possibility and action.

RATHER BE DEAD THAN COOL

#a thot

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pmyournudes · 5 years ago

Text

Moons Over Madripoor Ch 1

“I’m sorry Daddy, I’ve been naughty”

“Wade what have I told you about coming to Hell’s Kitchen”. Matt is exhausted, it’s nearing midnight, and he’d already kicked everyone’s ass in a bar to break up a Maggia gun deal. He’s too tired to deal with any of the Merc’s mouth tonight, and he knows it’s just beginning, “and more importantly what have I told you about staying in Hell’s kitchen.” Matt adjusted his footing. Normally Wade would try to futilely sneak up on him, this time he just came up the fire escape.

“You don’t want to hear my confession? I’m sure I could find some saps to perforate with my guilt.” Wade unholstered a pistol and spun it idly, Matt could tell the gun wasn’t even loaded.

“I’m not a priest but, I don’t like you threatening thugs just to make me bend an ear.” Matt knew Wade was manipulating him, but he also knew Wade only dealt with money and bodies. His emotions were something Wade had a less than tenuous grasp on. “You going to tell me where to find a pile of bodies? You know I don’t appreciate those as favors, you’re not a cat.” Matt leaned against the stonework, Wade’s heartrate was flittering, if Matt knew any better he’d think that Wade had been crying.

“No, I haven’t been in the mood to kill anyone. Well not IN the mood but I just don’t care. Like you ever get a drumstick ice cream and just can’t even bother eating enough to get to the chocolate so you just throw it away? Or you think the taco truck sounds good to hit up but by the time you load all your mags and strap your guns on you realize you don’t even want any mexican? It’s like that” Matt knew Wade must be low. Someone so impulsive and carefree doesn’t just lose motivation for their chicanery. He must have been crying after all.

“Too languid to kill drug dealers or support any taquerias? That’s not the Deadpool I know. I suppose I can hear your confession. I have no idea what it’d pertain to since crimes against thugs and chimichangas normally top that list.” Matt was genuinely curious, this could only mean trouble. Or a headache for him, something he doesn’t need if what he heard with Tombstone was actually about to go down. “I suppose I could spare a few for you but, if anything comes up tonight I’ll need to see to that too.” Matt sat down on the ledge of the walk up, one leg off the side so he could keep an ear on the bar he was staking out.

“Of course, there’s other buildings that could use some brooding on them. Or if any of your gargoyle buddies needs back up catching pigeon shit you should get on that.” Wade jokingly toyed, a little too cavalier for someone trying to have a heartfelt conversation.

“Did you want to talk or did you come here to belittle me? Some of us feel a personal responsibility to doing the right thing.”

“Dont fucking talk about responsibility to me. You know who else does? That shit eating Spider-man. Maybe you should leave and go be responsible too, maybe Queens needs you, maybe my flat isn’t good enough, maybe we can’t take weeks to ourselves as if we don’t need it, don’t need each other.” Wade grabbed his mouth. He’d said more than he meant. He knew that his team ups with Spidey were public but maybe Daredevil would miss his slip up or not know what he was talking about. Wade crouched down, or maybe he was slumping, his body scabbards kept his back straight, but his head falling let Daredevil know that he was exhausted as well.

“Oh, I meant I have guilt that I’m not doing enough, every person the mob hurts, hurts me too. I don’t like seeing those I care about in pain. You included Wade.” Matt knew what Wade was talking about. As if he couldn’t hear Wade’s pulse rev up like a sportbike anytime he mentioned Spider-Man. It’d been going on for months, Deadpool was so easy to get a hold of. Just mentioning the wall crawler could be there and Deadpool would show up like clockwork. It was a nice ace to have up his sleeve if a volatile situation needed combusting. Normally Wade couldn’t be relied on, but he actually was helpful the past few times. He didn’t even kill anyone the last fight they had at the docks. “Is something hurting you now?”

“Well that’s why I’m here. You ever get told you can’t do the thing you really want? Like if the priest told you that you’d prayed too much and that he wouldn’t hear another Hail Mary?” Deadpool sat down, his guns clattering on the rooftop. His legs splayed in front of him like a child sitting for a story.

“Wade church doesn’t work like that, priests are always there in times of need. I think you and I both know that.” It was a clever dig, even Matt had to admit that Wade’s wit was plenty sharp enough to earn his monicker.

“Ok well I don’t know what else you’d be into or broken up about. Maybe if they stopped sending ninjas to New York and you’d have to only fight mobsters. Yeah it’s like that, you WANT to fight ninjas because it’s exciting and fun and exhilarating and new every time,” Deadpool hugged himself, like he was overcome with joy. “but, instead New York only had mafiosos and petty crooks. Just the same boring thing you can get anywhere else.” his arms dropped and his head hung again. Matt could smell tears on Wade’s eyes, he was on the brink of crying.

“I would be more than happy if I never saw another ninja again.” Matt meant that, the city had enough issues without immortal assassin’s harrying him. The only thing ancient orders brought with them was ancient issues.

“What if it was /her/ though, what if she never showed up again because she didn’t want any part of New York and instead you had to deal with Tombstone or Bullseye.” Deadpool barked at him, his voice hoarsening. Matt faced Deadpool, had he told Wade about Elektra? Who had Matt told about her? “Oh if you’re wondering how I know about Nachos girl, literally everyone knows you two are a thing. I'd hear at poker games how people would bait her out since it would throw you off so badly just smelling her.” Was Matt really that bad when she was around? He remembered Foggy telling him she was trouble but that was just because his court cases backed up.

“I don’t know who you’re playing poker with, but I don’t ‘lose my senses’ when I smell someone like some pubescent teen.” This was making Matt uncomfortable, but Wade wasn’t noticing. He was lying down, not relaxed, but lackadaisical. Fully off guard and exposed on the rooftop.

“That makes one of us I guess. I can’t control myself, I’ve fully lost who I am trying to make someone else happy.” His voice was straining, he was holding back trying to be strong.

“Are you sure it’s what would make them happy, or what you think would make them happy?”

“I’m sure I know them and what would make them happy, we’ve spent weeks together. Working on assignments and spending long nights together.” Wade’s voice caught in his throat.

“Nights like this? You know this is just a night out, like any other. Sometimes a night is just a night.”

“Don’t be cheeky, it wasn’t some cheap rooftop in a ratty borough. These were nights in Madripoor, that place is enchanted, there’s magic in that air.” Deadpool looked off wistfully. Daredevil was sure he was imagining another night on another rooftop elsewhere. “DON’T even bother telling me I can’t make someone happy either, I can make anyone smile.”

“That’s true, I’d be lying if I said you haven’t made me crack a grin before. But true happiness isn’t made, it’s something you find and you enjoy it while it’s there.”

“I did find it, it was the sun and the moon all in one. I thought it was mine and that I had somehow cheated fate to have it.” Deadpool doffed his mask to wipe a tear from his eye. He sat up and faced Daredevil. “But, it wasn’t meant to last. You want to hear my confession now Daredevil?”

“That’s what I’m here for Wade, whatever you have to tell me, I’ll hear you.” Daredevil turned his back to the street to face Deadpool.

“I’m in love with Spider-Man and he doesn’t love me the same way.”

#spideypool #deadpool #team red #fan fiction #spider-man #short

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wtfgaylittlezooid · 5 years ago

Text

Okay- it’s really out of my comfort to post writing here. I’m not confident at all with my writing skills, especially since I struggle with grammar and writing too fast.

And it’s even more out of my comfort to post for my BMCxJTHM AU. I’m not proud of it in the slightest, but I just want to write something. Aight, all of that out of the way, heres the basic summary:

Devi wakes up in her apartment with a killer hangover, and suprisingly, no Nny. The last thing she remembers is going to a friends party with Tenna, who Devi finds sitting on the couch waiting for her to wake up on the couch. Tenna explains the events of the night, and Devi is furious.

It was very warm and cozy in Devi’s bed. With two blankets piled on top of her, and Devi wrapping her arms around a second pillow, as if it were a second person, she never wanted to get up. The soft and nice warmth of this haven filled her body with a very nice and comfortable feeling.

That is, until a headache had awoken this sleeping beauty. She kept her eyes closed, but still cringed and held the pillow tighter at the pain that had disturbed her peace. Why me? She thought internally, baring her teeth a little at nothing in discomfort. Silence kept the atmosphere in her small room heavy.

Huh. That was new. No witty comment? No nagging or insult to how I should sleep in a better position? Still only silence answered her thoughts. Dahm, you’ve never been silent before, Nny. It’s nice, but come on. Start up. Only the very faint and muffled sounds of her neighbours going about their daily lives, along with the wind brushing against the tree’s branches answered her. Along with a new sound, she’s never noticed.

Static. Just a very quiet and faint static that seemed to just play in the background, like how music is played during movie scenes. Devi tried once more. Start up. Nothing but the same noises answered. Johnny, I couldn’t have broken you already I’ve only had you for a fucking week. Start up you lazy asshole. Nothing. Dahm it.

Might as well get up and talk this over with Tenna, she figured. She dropped the pillow (regrettably, it was a nice cuddle buddy), and slowly shoved the blankets off her. The breeze hit her skin and made her shiver a little. Why did it have to be so dahm cold in this building.

She sat up, a bit too suddenly then a person with a hangover should, because immeadiatly her head protested against the sudden movement and spiked the pain. Ow- fuck. The static got a little louder too, but quickly died down with the sudden pain. Not fully gone, but back in the background with the headache. Weird.

Slowly, this time, she stood up, her legs wobbling as she fought with balance for a short moment. She quickly won the battle, but sadly not with her head, and stomach. Dahm when did her stomach start hurting too? I need some fucking water. She groaned a little as she stretched, hearing the satisfying sound (and feeling), of her bones popping.

After the nice stretch, she started slowly making her way to her door (which wasn’t too far. Her apartment was kinda crappy), and using the wall for a little extra balance. Devi waiting for Nny to start nagging her about her posture and how using the wall would make her weaker. However it never came. She kind of missed it in a weird way. It was nice, hearing peaceful sounds for once, but she likes it when it’s in her control.

Startup.

Nothing.

God, what even happened last night? She could barely remember anything. How much did she drink? Did she even drink? The last thing she good remember clearly was chatting in the car with Tenna, excited to see some old friends, and nothing afterward. Doesn’t matter. Tenna can fill me in on the details later.

After what felt like eons of walking to a door that get getting further like in some horror film, she was able to grip the doorknob and open the door. She basically flung it open, and wobbled out. The first thing she noticed, after being blinded by the living room light and getting her vision back by the “holy light”, was Tenna sitting on her couch with that skeleton toy, she wasn’t even going to try to remember it’s name. What the hell was she doing there?

“Oh my god, you’re alive,” Tenna teased, squeaking the toy twice with a impish smile on her face. “Yeah- yeah. Please get me a glass of water, I feel like I got hit by a truck,” Devi exaggerated. She just really wanted the glass.

“All right,” Tenna said, getting up and going to Devi’s kitchen, getting her friend a glass of water. Slowly. She was doing this as slow as possible. “I’m honestly not suprised you feel like that, Dev. Jesus, last night was a night.” She told Devi, laughing at the end of the sentence. Devi rolled her eyes and wobbled towards the couch, nearly collapsing onto it.

Bad move. The headache spiked at the fall, the static following it. “Ugh-“ Devi groaned, raising her arms to rub her temples to try and calm the headache. Eventually, Tenna got the glass of cold water, and walked her way to Devi.

“PLEASE, just hurry up!” Devi nearly shouted. She really wasn’t in the mood for Tenna to be taking her sweet time. “I’ll be there in time,” Tenna teased, but sped up and handed Devi the glass. Devi muttered a quiet thanks, and downed the whole glass within seconds.

“You need some medicine?” Tenna asked. “YES. God I haven’t felt this horrible since.. well since that fucking computer entered,“ Devi complained. Tenna chuckled a little, and tossed the toy to Devi. “You can squeak him if you want. It makes me feel better sometimes,” Tenna smiled at Devi, then went to grab some Advil for her.

Devi “caught” the toy, or more likely it landed on her stomach and she just grabbed it. Spooky. That’s was it’s name. How could she even forget that? Devi, after checking to make sure Tenna left the room to grab some medicine from the bathroom, gave Spooky a soft squeak. It was a little relaxing, but her aching head and stomach still remained.

Startup. It was worth another try.

Nothing.

Devi stared at the popcorn ceiling, squeaking the toy a few times as she tried to remember the events of last night. Tenna had picked her up, of course still carrying Spooky with her, and then they started to drive to the party. They were listening to music, what kind Devi wasn’t even going to try to remember, and chatting. It was the happiest Devi felt in a while, and even Nny was agreeing about how this was gonna be good for Devi. But, everything after getting out of the car was a blur.

Tenna snapping her fingers in front of Devi’s face obnoxiously, pulled her out of the memories. “Hellooo? Devi!” She said, holding two pills in her hand that wasn’t snapping. “Huh-“ Devi said, jumping a little in shock. “Dude, you spaced out and I was trying to give you the medicine for like a minute.” Tenna explained. “Oh. Well, sorry about that. Thanks for the medicine though,” Devi said in neither an apologetic or thankful tone.

REBOOTING...

About fucking time.

CURRENTLY AT 3%.

Wow. Are you kidding me.

Devi dry swallowed the pills, not wanting to wait another eternity on Tenna. Devi spread her arms and legs all over the couch, in an attempt to get comfortable. Now it just felt hot in the apartment. “So-“ Devi started, catching the attention of Tenna who was sitting on the armrest of the opposite side of the couch now.

“What the fuck happened last night,” Devi asked, not even trying to be polite. She didn’t care about that she just wanted to know.

“A lot. We got at the party and you immeadiatly went to the bar, because you saw whatever-her-name-was.” Tenna explained, Devi nodding and listening carefully. She didn’t want to forget this time.

REBOOTING. CURRENTLY AT 27%

I’m aware asshole.

“She managed to convince you to drink from what I remember, and I left you so I could do the shit I wanted.”

“Great explanation,” Devi laughed.

“I’m not finished,” Tenna laughed back.

REBOOTING. CURRENTLY AT 43%

Just be quiet until you’re done.

“But when I came BACK. You were were drunk out of your MIND. You could barely stand and we’re trying, very poorly might I add, to open a can of gasoline. Oh and you also had one of their fucking kitchen KNIVES. You saw me and kept babbling about Nny, about what he was explaining and if I would help. I literally had to babysit you until you blacked out,” Tenna said, sounding a mix of aggravated and annoyed as she told the story.

“Excuse me-“ Devi said, laughing awkwardly and nervously. She had no idea to reply to that. “You gotta be joking Te-“

“I’m not. You really freaked me out, Dev,” Tenna said, giving Devi a cold and serious stare. Very rare from her.

REBOOTING COMPLETE. NOW ONLINE.

“About time you’re back, asshole! What the fuck is Tenna talking about?!” Devi nearly shouted, getting Tenna to flinch and stare in confusion. It took Tenna a moment to realize, but she did. She watched as a bunch of neon blue and transparnent particles appeared and built together to form Nny.

“She’s not lying. Seeing your memories from last night, she’s telling the truth.” Nny said, a calm yet tired voice. Could computers get tired? Whatever, that didn’t matter. “Then WHAT THE FUCK were you trying to make me do?!” Devi raged, her face turning red and her hands turning into fists, nearly crushing poor Spooky. “Looking back on the memories- I was trying to... holy shit— I was attempting to get you to burn the place down and maybe even stab some people-“ Nny explained, cringing at what he read.

“WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING THAT? I THOUGHT YOUR PURPOSE WAS TO HELP ME.” Devi fumed. “It is. I TRIED telling you alcohol breaks me, but you didn’t LISTEN. Remember that?!” Great, now Nny was yelling too. And a voice inside Devi’s head that was screaming wasnt helping the headache. ��Actually I don’t recall that. I dont remember you speaking a dahm word after we walked through that door.”

“You ladies done arguing?” Tenna joked, obviously annoyed. She couldn’t hear Nny, but she’s gotten pretty good at picking up on Devi’s and Nny’s conversations. Devi looked at her, face still red from pure rage. Tenna responded with dramatically crossing her arms, and lifting an eyebrow. She was trying to look all serious, but Devi couldn’t help but snort and then burst into laughter.

Tenna felt a smile prick at her lips, and soon enough she was bending over laughing as well. God, the laughing really didn’t help the headache, but it obviously helped Devi’s mood. Devi had no idea how long they were laughing for. It could’ve been seconds, minutes, maybe even hours, but eventually it started to slowly end. Tenna wiped a single tear from her eye, as her chuckles went to silence, and Devi held her stomach and her laughter turned to groans of pain.

“How’s your head?” Tenna asked, after having to take a deep breath after laughing so hard, a smile still remained on her face. “Say it’s fine.” Nny instructed, not being serious but this time just playing around. “Oh god- it hurts worse now,” Devi chuckled a little. “Dahm it,” Nny chuckled.

“Hold on-“ Devi nearly shouted, this time not sounding angry, but sounding suprised with the smile on her face growing bigger.

“Huh-“ Tenna asked, confused, but then watched as Devi pointed to nothing. Wait- not nothing. She was pointing at Nny. Jesus this is still confusing.

“Did you just laugh?”

“NO.”

“WHAT,” Tenna said, shouting and starting to chuckle a bit more now.

“Holy shit you did!” Devi started to laugh again, but not from humor, more of like she had just caught someone in the act. “Wrong. I am a computer I can’t feel emotions. You cant just humanize me, Dev-“ Nny started, his face starting to turn a shade of red.

“Well I think I humanized you a long ass time ago when I gave you the name “Johnny” you bastard. I heard you laugh and I want to hear it again.” Devi said, still pointing at him.

“Devi there better be a way of you being able to upload that to some sort of computer I want to hear what it sounds like!” Tenna said, excitement filling her voice.

“You aren’t missing out on much, Tenna,” Devi smirked, then giving a devilish look at Nny. “All it sounded like was a hyena choking on a toa-“

She got cut off by a quick shock in her back, she flinched hard and straightened her posture (out of habit). However it wasn’t one of the “fixing” ones. It felt like someone pricked her in the back with a needle very lightly. Just enough to suprise her. She looked over at Nny, who was frowning dramatically and crossing his arms, his face beet red.

Devi snorted again. “Embarrassed, noodle boy?” Devi teased, not caring how immature the nickname was. Tenna, whos expression was originally one of slight worry once Devi got shocked, changed to the mishevious expression to match Devi’s. She was very entertained by this, even if she couldn’t see nor hear Nny.

“I can’t be embarrassed. I’m an AI.”

“If you can’t be embarrassed and you’re just ‘an AI’, explain why you’re blushing like that?” Devi teased, resulting in a very shocked Tenna.

“WHAT-“ she basically shrieked.

Nny looked shocked, and opened his mouth to talk, but then closed it. His face shifted to shock, to embarrassment, then finally frustration. He growled a little, and stomped his foot. The second it made contact with the ground, he exploded into the blue particles and disappeared.

“Well he’s gone,” Devi snorted and looked at Tenna, amusement and pride on her face. First argument she won against him. It felt nice.

#idk how to end these #my writing #fanfic #short fic #jthm #johnny the homicidal maniac #johnny c #devi d #jthm nny #jthm devi #jthm tenna #jthm fic #jthm au #jthm squipped au

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starlight-starwings · 5 years ago

Text

The Adventure Zone Season 2 quotes.

Unfortunately the quotes I saved between seasons 1 and 2 were lost because I got a new phone, so this is starting with episode 6 of Amnesty. If anyone has good quotes from the first arc, experimental arcs, ans the live shows during the experimental arcs, feel free to add or send them.

• - listen... ok, we could... agdgsbjsbuhah. how they eat and breathe... its just a show, just relax

- technically the .. waste water systems and the regular water systems of a city or not connected, and so like theres a lot of.. a lot of ways to figure it out. But yea, maybe you get the idea that this thing doesn't.. it can.. it.. is weird man...

• hey there adventure zone lovers. I dont know if that means you love adventure zone, or you... heh heh heh, ya know.

• - can you feel it?

- the idea of feeling is kinda weird-

- close your eyes and tell me if Im doing it

- well you already did- ok.

- close your eyes. Did I do it?

- you did it

- aaahh, I didnt

- ok. This is not a fun game for me

• - its our first day here!

- yeaa. Like... Let me ask you about the fucking... cast of Friends

- youre talking about Matt Leblanc and Matthew-

- Ah fuck.

- ah shit

- damn

- son of a b- he's good, he's real good

• - Don't I have to roll?

- we have not played dungeons and dragons in so fucking long!

- Here

- what are you rolling to do?!

• - tell me, is patience one of your more valued v-

- yes!

• Hey. No ideas bad. It just wasn't good.

• - I got eleven? You got any cash on you?

- uhh yea I happen to have nine bucks right here. Griffin cant prove otherwise.

• listen Pidgeon, here's the thing: I... love... to... practice fishing. But... the running water... frightens me. Its called hydrophobia. And I would love to practice my cast in a real water environment, where I can get in a large body of water, where I can guarantee that running water wont be a factor. And I would just love to practice my casting in a guaranteed still body. But here's the other thing! Sometimes if you do it in a lake, thats what youre thinking, a fish will bite it. And normally thats ideal but Im just trying to practice casting. If like.. when you dont want to catch em. Thats when they're biting. Ya know what I mean? I need a still body of water, that I can guarentee won't move, to practice my fishing casting.

• - Noooo

- are you sure?

- yeaaaaa

- Beause its our podcast!

- noooo

- we're actually doing our own podcast

• - Make uhhh.... check. You're gonna need to make a check for this one

- I got the gum. But I have the gum

- It's good gum; you'll have advantage on it.

• Cause I mean a 4 legged octopus is a horse.

• - What does control water do?

- Merle can- well gee wiz. It makes spaghetti! What do you think control water does?

- whats the fucking card say?

• Good you know my sister Jane was doing missionary work in Honduras and normally I would spend the uh, holidays with her. But uhh I had some friends come in from uhh out of town. And uhh... I wanted to communicare this to anybody who might be listening somehow, and I thought this might be a more organic way of uh, doing it.

• um... nah so ok right... so... the pizza hut sign... started to fall, cause of the weather. And he ran up there on a... fire escape, and tried to... push it? With a bat? Dammit. Nah. He just pushed it. And it fell. But then he fell. Cause he got shocked. I bet. Mmmm. I didn't see. I was in- Ah shit. Alright. Hey folk- hey guys. Rewind. I- hey guys rewind a second. Aahh fuck. I was inside I didn't see. Anything. I don't know. This man. I do know this man. His name- fuck. Alright. I'm met.. high net... here... Mmmm, alright. So, This man's is name is Ned. And he's uh.. friend of mine. And I dont know what the hell happened to him. But you know this guy. He's always getting into something. I don't know. I was in the building. I almost got killed by a pizza hut sign. I might be in shock.

• Write the fucking story with me! We are New York Times bestselling authors!

• - Ok. Go ahead. Uhh where are your wings? Obviously you can't see them right now because I'm wearing my disguise. Would you like to see my wings?

- Yes.

- I don't know you very well, so no, not- not quite yet.

• Aw Juno this is so embarrassing. Um last week, uhh, my truck got beat up, and I... I had to take it over to Whistle's. And he wa- while he was fixing it up I had to borrow yours to run out uh... to- to do a check on... a body of water. In... the... tree... zone... forest. Fuck. It was a body of water in the tree zone. And I had to check on it in your car. And when I- I drove your car, without asking, and... I think I left my... pants? No. Wallet? Money. I left my wallet in your truck and I was wondering if you could go look for it real quick.

• - a goat..

-well. No its.. i mean you look at the legs you can kinda see... yea...

- its pan!

- no were not crossing over

- there no crossover here sir. No.

• - oh thats easy. All you have to do is press that red button right there.

- and what will that do?

- itll give you the key sphere

- well hold on....

- merle casts zone of truth!

- so what happens when I press that button?

- the red button? Itll give you the key sphere

- what will the blue button do?

- it'll kill ya

- what would the other frankenstein tell us?

- well my companion over there always lies. He'll tell ya to hit the blue button.

- oh okay. Its kinda one of those- ya know what Im gonna check his flavor real quick

- ok.

- I flip the lever

- No that'll kill me!

- the other Frankenstein sits up and says oh hey! Im Frankenstein. A lot of people say Im Frankenstein's monster but-

- yea yea yea. Ok we get it. Uh is this Frankenstein in the zone as well?

- uh yea.

- These buttons over here what will the red one do?

- oh the red one? Its the key sphere one. I would've told you its the blue one.

- ok I slam-

- No listen. Listen. No listen. Listen listen listen. Hey. Stop wait! Im the liar Frankenstein.

- I hit the red button.

• - Merle casts shield of faith

- ok. On whom?

-um.. it surrounds a creature of my choice

- yeap. So..

- time to make that choice

- that is kinda the question I asked

• - are you a grief counselor?

- yea you a grief counselor?

- I do have some counseling experience, um, but right now think of me more as your friend.

- I could really use a grief counselor I think more than a friend at the moment. I got-

- ok then Im a grief counselor, yes.

• - and Im gonna roll 2 d6... god almighty... hatchy matchy...

- howd you do, Justin?

- Well I got a 4 on that one, Trav. Which is, what we call in the biz, we call that bad. That is less than ideal.

• A charisma check. Okay. Hahahaha! That's a threeee.

• I know how you young people talk: It was rad.

• hey! Hey man fucking bigfoots behind you dude, drive! Jesus Christ! Hey Ive been skitching this whole time brother, Im really sorry but you gotta fucking drive right now dude, come on! Im vulnerable as hell! Come on! Dont make me fight bigfoot, I want thinking through this shit, go! Im not gonna fucking fight bigfoot.

• No, you know what- I'm gon- ya know what? It's fine. Ya know what? Its fine. Its fine. Im gonna- it- thisll be fine. Thisll actually be fine. Uhhh Im gonna cast lightning bolt on the tank. I thought about it, thisll be fine.

• - dont worry, the rest of us will take care of this. I think the best plan is if the three of you go up the spire to face the final confrontation alone

- why is that the best plan??

- cause theres exactly enough people outside- robots outside, that we'll need all of the army...

- but then why dont we wait and help you kill all of the robots?

- we'll kill them and then we'll all go up together

- theres no time!

- what are you talking about were just fighting a bat- theres plenty of time

- we got a whole other act!

- huurrryy

- okay we'll hurry, yes fine, yes.

- good luck

- well now dont say that! You said to go on ahead!

- I'll remember you

- this passive aggressive stuff...

- youre sending mixed signals. Should we stay and-

- the doors that ive just invented shut behind you.

• Okay uh, Hollis. Let me ask you something: Okay, on the other side of this portal- im gonna lay it out for you. Alright. Are you ready? One hundred percent honesty. On the other side of this portal is another world. Just like, the same scope and size of ours, with a population of people, and... just like us. People just like us. Right? And... think about this. In... lets say West Virginia alone, not even the whole world, the whole earth, west Virginia alone, right. How many people do you think there is, a per capita ratio, thats murderers to just regular people? Right? So what if somebody said "there are murderers in west Virginia, so we're gonna march into west Virginia and kill everyone there, cause they might be murderers." Right so what if the only thing you knew about west Virginia is that some murderers came from here? And you said "so let's just go in and wipe everone out"? You would come in and wipe out the whole state, and murder innocent people, just in case they might be murderers. What does that make you, Hollis?

• - Aubrey what... what are you?

- Oh I'm bisexual.

- Do all of bisexuals have this power?

- Yes.

• - uh lets jump right in

- im in. Already. I actually got in before you did. Just to make sure the water was okay.

- oh how is it? Hows the scene doing?

- the scene is good. Im already in it, but because the narrator has not joined us we are locked in... stasis. We are characters in search of an author as it were, in the pernella play.

- so theyve been there for 2 weeks? Or whats up?

- theyve been there for 2 weeks. Locked in perfect stasis, until time itself should turn its gaze upon us and let us resume our merry roles in this play called existence.

• - did you get the part where we're gonna find the quail and just crush its heart or whatever?

- its uh- its- it- its quell

- yea thats what I said, quail

- you said quail like a big ol bird

- wait what are you saying?

- yea quail

- no quell

- quell?

- quell

- quail?

- quell

- kwäil?

- listen- listen kwaiell

- quail!

- you said quail. Its quell

- the mothman uh, grabs your wrist duck and looks at the watch on it and says 'boy howdy I sure hope that those arent several minutes that we will need to uh prevent the apocalypse. Because they are gone now.

• - Ju- Ju- wait a minute. Juno? Juno Devine?

- yes shes-

- Juno Devine is- shes in the forest service? (Switches to character voice) Ahh-ha! Well that makes a lot of sense! She- she loved the forest. That- ahh...

- that is... did you just do a player to character cross-fade?

- that was so fucking wild Ive never seen anything like that on this podcast

- that melted my brain

- it was like Clint started the sentence, and then Thacker ended the sentence

• I can roleplay a gay elf with magical powers. I dont think I could roleplay someone who likes beef jerky

• We've all been trying to help people right? And sometimes you fuck up. Sometimes people get hurt, sometimes you can't- sometimes you act and you do things, and you're wrong. And if you let the fact that you fucked up stop you from trying to help again, thats... thats the real mistake. Ive fucked up so many times. You cant be afraid to help. Because yea, you might hurt. But you also might help. You just have to keep helping. Dont be afraid. Im not.

• - query: are the extraterrestrial invaders engaging in deception? 89.84% affirm

- now listen. You all don't know Duck like I do. Believe me, he can not engage in deception to save his life.

- he's also an employee of the federal government!

- it skyrockets up to 98.64%

• It makes sense right? Great power; great responsibility. But you know what people forget? Is that the green goblin dosen't swing up to your door everyday and blow your whole life away and in one moment you have to figure out what to do, ya know? The responsibility is every day. Its every moment, and it's- every time I pick one of those saplings up and I put it in the ground, and pat the ground around it, and I pour water on it, and I think about our childrens childrens childrens children will breathe the air that this thing makes, and Minerva, thats power. Thats my responsibility. I dont have to fight no more. I did it. And now Im gonna grow.

#the adventure zone amnesty #mcelroy brothers #podcasts #my post #quotes

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voidsfanficfortress · 5 years ago

Text

The Only One♡

The prisions in Ceuta were big,but most of it seemed to be reception ..., you lean into the counter.

-I came here to visit someone- you say to the police Officer-His name is Ryad All-Hassar Ramírez-

The police Man looks at you with his Brows arched.

-You came to visit that Cabron?-He asks you, genuenly impressed, as you just glare daggers at him- okay, ill tell him youre coming, please do be careful, that son of a bitch is smug as hell-

You nodd and the policemen escort you to a room with tables,when you arrive he is there looking away, How do you break it to him that Orange is not his color?.

-Hey Ryad,its been a while- You say sitting infront of him- I dont think youll recognize me, I was a teen when we first met-

He looks up ,his brown eyes are just how you remember them, he sees you, and cant help but notice the polite smile on your face, a genuine one.

-Por Dios,its you..Man look how much youve grown- You can sense a bit of sascarm there,Like he doesnt like being visited. But you ignore it.

You two met a long time ago, You were around your teen years when it happened.

Jackal doesnt remember how did dokkaebi convice him to go to that event, Or even if it was indeed dokkaebi who changed his mind about even setting foot there, but in the end he was there, he sat on one of the Chairs on the stage,Harry was saying a couple of words, and then his turn came to talk a bit, everything was going well until...

-Fuck me papi!-

Someone screams from the back of the crowd, and he stops, looks around the crowd and blushes, Tachanka steps in and quickly and starts talking, ripping the microphone away from jackals hand.

After that fiasco , he decides to go for a walk, everyone seemed so happy, so illusioned with the event,people laughing, talking about other operators, and buying merch related to them, he seemed alone, with no genuine fans who dont just thirst about him but do actually care for him, he is all alone except--

-Perdoname (excuse me) are you jackal-

The teen girl looks shy about it, jackal finds it somehow cute, the only teenage girl who was polite enough.

-Why yes I am indeed,and you are?-

His tone seemed friendly and polite, the girl seems to get out of her Shell and smiles.

-People..people call me G, I uh w was wondering if we could take a picture togheter?-

-Im sorry-Jackal says- Im not really comfortable with photos kid-

Ryad expects the kid to just go away and talk shit a obout him, instead, the teen perks up and looks up to him, And smiles so kind .

-its okay-The girl says- I dont like pics either-

-So, Why you were asking ?-

-Oh...I was kind of forced, b but! That doesnt mean I dont like you,I I do!-Jackal chuckles at the teens behaviour- I just, I dont like pics anyway, but before I go, There is something I want to say-Ryad for once, pays attention to what the girl says- One, the person who shouted that at you is a degenerate, Two, after all the things you lived Through and all the things you see in battle, you deserve this-

G gives him a brief hug, jackal can just feel the warmth that comes from that hug,the understanding, then she smiles, says goodbye and leaves.

-Goodbye mr Ramirez!, enjoy the event-and she rans away to her Group of Friends.

He smiles and turns away , Maybe he changed his mind about having at least one fan.

-I know you just want to go back to your cell and dont have anymore contact - she isnt wrong on that one- I want to leave you this-

She gives him a necklace, his brother's necklace, the one he sold a Long time ago for money, all well preserved, he opens the little sphere that hangs from it, there is his brother's photo.

He was about to say thank you, but.

-How did you find this?-

His anger builds up.

-I learnt from the best tracker in the world-

How dare she? How she dares to bring this back to him? Does she know the memories that this brings? The suffering?.

-Leave- Jackal says- Leave!-

No. Stop.

This is all wrong.

Please dont leave.

The woman quickly grabs her bag and goes away.

Then he goes back to his cell and night falls.

He cant sleep again , he looks at the ceiling, and then it hits him like truck.

Well, a thousand trucks.

She cared for him, she gave him that same smile that she gave him when they first met.

Full of compassion,kindness.understandment .

And he scared her away like he always does, he holds his head between his hands.

She isnt coming back,is she?.

《...》

Morning arrives and jackal is there, in bed,not even trying to cover his eyes from the light.

-Ramirez, you have a visit-

What?

He is escorted to the same room he was yesterday, and she was there, with two cups and a flask full of coffee.

She brought him coffee.

He smiles and sits infront of her.

-Hey ryad, we started with the wrong foot yesterday, coffee?-

He nodds quickly like a kid in a candy store.

Maybe...maybe there still was hope.

Maybe once he gets out of there he has a chance to rebuilt his life.

And this time hes not letting it slip away.

《...》

@laminath

Cabron: Son of a bitch.

This idea Came up from a voice call between @grain-crain-drain and me.

Sweet bittersweet ending!

-Void

#r6 jackal #ryad all-hassar Ramírez #rainbow six siege #rainbow 6 siege #r6

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feitanswife · 5 years ago

Text

Sorry for the fucking essay but no actually I’m not

So I saw a buzzfeed story article on snap and it was from a hashtag on twitter that was trending a few days back, #igotwokewhen or something to that effect.

And it reminded me of something that would be WAY too long of a story for twitter.

Well, several somethings. Three to be exact. This was like a two year process that only sort of included tumblr.

So it started in my sophomore year of high school (10th grade, I was... turning 16 that coming March) and I was in Honors 10th Grade English with the rest of the tryhards.

(Honors didn’t really mean anything in the grand scheme of things, the classes were relatively similar to core, it was basically a box you checked during class selection to say “I want to be in a class with people who give a shit”)

And I was in a corner with two other kids: the one I’ll call Cake Face, and her best friend, Cutie. (Cause they were cute. Like adorable non-threatening videogame-nerd-who-even-I-could-drop-kick-if-they-tried-anything cute, which was very much my “type” in high school as I was in complete and utter denial about my lack of sexual attraction and only let myself grow close to people I could totally take in a fight to ease my anxiety about being touched.)

Cake Face was a terrifying girl who very Clearly had a tumblr.

This was 2014-2015. She Very Clearly Had A Tumblr.™️ like it was Scary.

She sat behind me and she terrified me. I’d known her from 7th grade onwards and until that point I knew 3 things about her: she wore WAY too much makeup, she was a try hard at school, and she hated pretty much everyone.

Except Cutie, who she would kill and die for.

Cutie, whose real name I can’t even remember now, was the first out trans peer I remember having. (I say “out” because two of my best friends who is known for much longer came out later, but at the time to my knowledge Cutie was the only one so I count them as first cause it was my first interaction under the pretense)

Cutie was also the first non-binary person I knew. That is without condition, to my knowledge (I haven’t kept track of many people from high school) as the next notable encounter was well into college.

So now you had me, vaguely crushing on Cutie whose Overbearingly Agressively Supportive best friend sat right behind me.

Needless to say that crush went nowhere, we hardly talked cause I was too afraid of Cake Face to even start up a coversation for fear I’d say something wrong and get my head ripped off. She was openly confrontational with our teacher and the rest of the class and I just kept my head down and said nothing.

Come to think of it, that’s probably what Cutie was doing too. I certainly wouldn’t want my best friend fighting people on my behalf all day. Talk about embarrassing.

But the idea had been put in my head and since I was about ankle deep in Fandom Tumblr that that point (mostly popular anime with some J-fashion on the side) I decided to dip my toes in further.

And while I was still wrapping my head around the vague idea of asexuality and oh no what does this mean for the boyfriend I got last spring my near best friend in the world cane out as a trans guy on like, day one of our AP language and composition class.

Just to me and our mutual friend but like, it happened. The name he ended up choosing could be shortened to a rather gener neutral nickname so he ended up going by that at large, but the actual conversation only happened with us.

(To be fair, his deadname when combined with his middle name was a weed based pun so no one was surprised he changed it. it was also spelled weirdly.)

And that was the first time I’d ever like, fully integrated into the... entire culture of interacting??? I guess??? Like learning the lingo, learning the flags, figuring out what a binder was (and trying to talk him out of wearing it to gym class, irresponsible little shit!) and I quickly became very protective of him.

I mean I was protective before cause he had other problems like anxiety worse than mine and we all know that when a group of friends all have anxiety that whoever’s is currently least active gets to pretend they’re fine and deal with shit. But this was a whole other layer. It honestly made me a little paranoid cause people... people show their true colors at times like these.

Like that second friend he told.

“Friend”

I ended up writing her into a novel just to hit her character with a truck over one (1) conversation.

Cause when my friend was around she was a sweet angel.

But when he wasn’t she was rude as shit and misgendered him constantly. Also she was really jealous of me being better at essay writing than her and like well maybe if you focused more effort into class and less into talking shit about your supposed best friend then??? Maybe you’d know how to write???

And I worked my ass off on a group poster project and she threw it out and redid the whole thing herself cause she didn’t like mine and it’s been like four years and I have never forgiven her for that I had like three panic attacks for that poster and you threw it away?

I’m not even gonna censor her name Fuck You Jillian you entitled piece of shit!

And around that time I also met the most important person of my life.

She’s a year younger than me and three times as smart, she’s still my best friend to this day and all of our friends unironically call her mom.

And she was the first person I came out to as ace.

(Mostly because she did first and the only response I could think of was “me too!” We were eating lunch. I think I was sitting on the floor. She was on a bench. I was looking up at her. Her hair was bright fire engine red and down to her butt and she was in full gothwear.)

It was because of her that I eventually made a new tumblr account (first under lily-of-the-rain, then raininglillies, then Feitanswife which I have no interest in changing cause I can’t fathom anyone else having this url) and sort of dove deep into all of this cause I finally felt like I could.

Like she was the full permission to exist in this space! She ran our high schools GSA and now is Vice President of our college’s Queer and Allues club (which I only joined cause she dragged me)

and all of that while being ace, which I was ultimately horrifically ashamed of until I met her.

Not because I thought it was wrong to be ace, I just thought it made me less important. Just in general. I was less important in the straight world and less important among the lgbtq+ community. No one was gonna make a fuss over me if I just sat down and shut up, but I wasn’t going to be missed if I disappeared either.

I was just what I’d always been, a background character. Meant to be seen and not heard. Don’t make a fuss just sit and be quiet and be glad we saved you a chair at all.

But she wasn’t. She walked in and it didn’t matter if it was a night out or 7 am on a Tuesday she was dressed to the nines, with her nearly neon red hair and a sort of “DONT fuck with me” energy that let her just mow down anyone who wanted to start shit, with her or anyone else.

And people respected her not in spite of who she was but because of it

And that was the final flip of the switch I needed. First it was the awareness, then the caring personal connection, and then there was “you have the right and the duty to flip that fucking switch. It is yours.

Not because someone else told you to or because it affects people you care about, but because it affect you

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blogsandphotos · 5 years ago

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My Comcast Nightmare!

WARNING: Get some coffee cause this is long and not all language is PG rated!

So I had FIOS and I was at the end of my contract so I thought...lets give Comcast a try. HUGE mistake! They would not allow me to do the self install. Not sure why...I have installed everything before! So I tell them, OK fine, but I want an actual Comcast contractor to install it. OK she says, let me note your account. So Aug 2nd comes, and low and behold a third party contractor shows up. Wonderful....sigh. Thus begins my nightmare. He shows up 15 min late. ChaChing, I get $20 bucks off my first bill. Then he comes in my home and looks to see where the box is going to be installed. Installed? Just connect it to where the FIOS box was! This is not rocket science! So then he goes out to his truck and moves it down to the pole. Spends 15 min attempting to put his ladder up onto the pole.It was actually painful to watch! Then he comes back and wants to know if there is a power box in my daughters bedroom. No, why the hell would the supply box be in my daughters bedroom? So then he walks around the house a few times, looking like hes lost.He fiddles with something on the side of the house for a few min and then he comes in and goes down the basement. I hear him down there playing with cable lines and think, OK, this shouldn't take much longer. All he had to do was replace the router, which I could have done, and replace 1, ONE, cable box and that was going in the living room. Disconnect the FIOS and connect the Comcast.. Easy peasy! So he finally comes up, brings the router in and connects it. Asking me what plugs from the old router I want plugged into the new one. Ummmm ALL of them! DUH! So said, the phone, and at least the computer its next to. I figure just get him the hell out and I can do the rest. Then he goes into the living room. And he cant get a signal on the cable line. You know...the one that was working before he got here? Up and down the basement steps. Hes perplexed. I said, just connect it to that line! It was working! Its the only one in the living room! No, he said, I cant. I have to get a signal. Fuck your signal...PLUG IT IN! So he calls tech support. yea...you read that right. I can hear the guy on the other end basically getting annoyed with him. OK, he gets off the phone and goes out to his van and brings in a huge fucking drill which he proceeds to drill a hole in my living room floor. Ummm, this floor was brand new 2 years ago I might add. I said, what the hell is that smell? And I can see smoke. He says, you have really thick floors. I said no, my house is 135 years old and you have drilled into a beam in the basement that at this point is probably petrified wood! Oh.... Well I need to let this charge. I'm pissed but I'm gonna keep my cool and take it up with Comcast when he leaves. About 20 min goes by and I hear him drilling again. I know I had to have looked at Taylor like I wanted to kill the man. He finishes what hes doing and he calls back to tech support. Now, tell me again why I couldn't have done the self install myself? This time he gets a woman and shes asking him for the number on the bottom of the cable box. Hes giving her the number off the router. I was going to tell him but I thought...nope...hes the expert remember! (rolling eyes). She gets irate and says NO, the cable box! oh oh..sorry. So he reads that number then she asks for the router number. She says, you have the wrong box for that order. So he goes out and brings in a different one. Still perplexed cause where the fuck do you hook it up? Gee I dont know Einstein, where the other one was?? Then he calls back a third time. And they tell him to use such and such a box. Now, mind you, my house is over 135 years old. 6 rooms, all approx 14x16 with 10 foot ceilings and god only knows how many layers upon layers of lead paint was used back when it was legal. My WiFi sucks. So Mr Handy man brings in a WiFi cable box. The size of my fricken hand! He finally gets done and says sorry it took so long, not sure what that cable is for cause there is no signal going to it. Well I dont know either...since FIOS worked great through it! Nine...9 freaking hours this man was at my house to replace one router and one cable box. He leaves...walks down to his truck. I see him walking back up. Now what? Hes done...he isn't coming back in! He got here at 10:20AM and left at 6:57PM! My husband comes in....Mr. Expert left the blinkers on his truck on all day down by the pole and killed the battery in his van and John had to give him a jump! Now here is the icing on the cake.... He drilled not one..but 2 holes in my brand new floor. When he hit a beam he decided to move to a new spot. Two inches above the other! SAME BEAM! So I have two holes in the floor that go nowhere. Then when he laid the HOT drill down, he laid it on the floor and left burn marks! I go down the basement and every single cable line has been disconnected! 14 days into my Comcast contract, I go back online and order new service with FIOS because when we are trying to watch TV, channels freeze up, shows start to buffer, etc. I tell them I need someone to come to my home to install because the Comcast tech cut all my lines. No problem. SO a few days before they are set to come and I call and ask what time he will be here. Who? There is no tech. Its set as a self install because I had FIOS before. So i tell them No, i told you what i needed. OK. Well we cant do it the 20th, it will have to be the 21st then. OK...what ever. So the next day, nervous I call and ask what time, just to make sure someone is coming. They tell me, no your a self install. NO!! I'M NOT! Sigh... the equipment comes on Saturday and i hope on some magic cable dream that If i hook everything up..it will work. Nope! So I call tech support and I tell them, look it doesn't work. OK, we will send someone tomorrow! Great! The man shows up on Sunday. I can hear him in the basement, outside, at this van, walking around the house....sighing... Loudly! It was his day off and he got called in. What ever cupcake! Suck it up! Not like your not getting paid out the ass for the day! So he gets the router working but he cant find the phone line. The phone line is RIGHT THE FUCK THERE! You just unplugged it from the other router. So I find it and I show him. He goes out to his van to get something...he locked his keys in it. So he has to call a friend, another tech, to come help him break into his van. This man shows up, gets not only into his van, but connects the phone line! So now they are both perplexed at the living room cable situation still. Are you sure this line worked? I said it did till Mr Fix-it from Comcast broke it! This guy was here for 4 hours. Says, Ill be back tomorrow when they can get someone to turn on my TV service cause its not in the order. The fuck you mean its not in the order? Its on my order that I just showed you! yea, they didn't add it. Meanwhile on my phone, the app is telling me to setup the set top boxes for TV. So he says, sorry, Ill be back tomorrow. You have Roku so you can still watch TV. Thanks Mr. Obvious! He says, Don't even plug the boxes in cause it will mess everything up. OK. And he leaves. So I go around and I hook up all the boxes, other then the living room cause we all know that cable has been cut somewhere. Low and behold...dumb ass incapable Lou Ann gets 5 of the 6 cable boxes setup, activated and we have TV!! The next day he calls...someone ELSE will be at my house. Clearly this man said fuck it, i have no idea and dont feel like dealing with it. So another man comes. I tell him where the line came in from and where it goes down the basement. He comes up, takes a look, goes back down. I hear him doing something. He comes back up and voila, the TV in the living room works. I said, what did you do? He said they didn't have the cable connected to the splitter! Really? It took 4 guys and only 1 knew what the hell he was doing? So now I am back to FIOS and happy and wont be going anywhere. I do have a fight going on with Comcast regarding my floor. Someone IS going to pay to have it replaced! All of this could have been avoided had they let ME install my own services!

©LouAnnGoodrum

#internet #cable #comcast #fios

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