#i dont even know how old my pets are. to be fair my pets are. turtle and fish. so who cares right

[theunconcernedembalmer]

mr gatto is snow white full grown? like is she still a kitten or is she just small? either way she is so cute! you have very excellent cats!

Thank you, she is still one of the best companions I have.

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about that just how powerful charles is and just how fucked it would be if other Charles' could telepath his other universe' kids?

Logan's just sitting at the counter in wades apartment and is about to start smoking again but then gets thrown into some phycodelic trance. From the outside, he's just sitting there staring off into space, probably drooling, but in here, he gets thrown into a desk, and he instantly gets up like "Awww shit- No-"

And there he is, standing at that stupid chalkboard, and he tsks at him while leaning back on a desk. "Ooh, my dear boy. Class is now in session."

"Oh god-"

"Sit."

Logans like hesitant and Charles just gives him this LOOK and he sits like the good puppy he is.

"What did I do now? Don't tell me you're giving me detention beyond the dead."

Xavier just smirks and is like "You're far too clever to believe that do you?"

Messes with him really bad.

"So. Why do you think you're here today?"

"Because I accidently did cocaine and now im tripping balls."

"Demerits. You always did struggle with appropriate language, didn't you, Logan?"

"Alright this is really freaking me out."

"What is a mind that is not willing to explore the uncomfortable?"

"What does that even mean!?"

"How is one supposed to overcome their own struggles if they can not come to understanding of their own being?"

"Okay now I know you're chuck because he never made sense either."

All while Wade is like "Peanut? Woohooo? Wolvie? Well shit ill have what hes having. Puppy power! Go!" And picks up puppins to make her try to lick him back into consciousness all while mentally hes being lectured on how he came so far and did so well to better himself, so why become a worse role model now for those around him?

It ends with Logan having a breakdown and venting to charles, and things change again to be in his office and him, laying his head in his wheel chair, petting his head, consoling him.

"Oh my child.. you always were so troubled. So baffled in your own person."

Logan looks up to him with teary eyes and a look that just shows the little boy in him and hes like "..I still dont know what you're talking about.." while shaking his head softly.

He just smiles at him and says, "You will. You always do. You just take longer than the others, but you'll get it. You were and always will be one of my best pupils, Logan. The student became the teacher. But now the teacher must learn a few more lessons before facing peace."

Then suddenly when he comes too, hes sobbing and his face is soaked with both tears and puppy spit, he has goosebumps and hes panting with such wide, scared eyes.

"Holy shit- what just happened?" And before he can even awnser Wade he throws the cigar at the wall and sobs with his hands gripping his hair, heaving.

"I just got mind fucked by a dead old man!"

"Aww not fair :( I wanna be mind fucked by an old man"

"Trust me. You dont. You really REALLY dont."

[poppy-metal]

legit shaking cus i have judgey friends and the type of shit i pull up saying is legit NASTY like i know m getting thrown to the wolves (get the pun s funny). but yeah. werewolf pat and vampire artashi could have cost me my life. – 🌟

bites ur friends on the arm and shakes my head back and forth vigorously

RAHHHHH werewolf!patrick who suddenly starts acting weird around you - sketchy - he's hairier and more easily agitated. he always ran hot but lately even standing near him he eminates heat like a furnace. he has a stronger smell to him, not bad per se, but deep and musky. he starts acting more possessive and jealous and overall more brooding. he keeps breaking his rackets more than he ever used to and one time he hit a ball so hard it dented the wall. he disappears for days at a time and always looks hungover as hell when he comes back like he's been on the world's worst bender. he also looks at you sometimes, in a way he never has. you're friends, you always have been but sometimes you'll catch him staring at you - at your throat rather - or the slip of flesh exposing your thigh - and he'll have such a look of intense blatant hunger it takes your breath away. you wonder what the fuck is wrong with him. you're worried. you begin snooping where you shouldn't.

vampire artashi!RAHHHHHH. tashi is definitely a centuries old vampire and art is a human she turned because she fell in love - her only fledgling. he's been a vampire for years now, but he's still a baby in vampiric years. feeding is usually simple - tashi brings back a meal and they drain them together. tashi takes care of the body after. but she's teaching art to hunt now, teaching him how to seduce and stalk his prey and lure them in. he's still so very human, unfortunately, it's no suprise to her he becomes smitten with a human girl - tashi had been smitten with her fair share of humans herself. it's fun, sometimes, to have a human companion as a pet for entertainment. prolonged feeding. when she sees the stars in arts eyes when he sees you she thinks she'll allow you to be arts first human pet. art will play with you and drink from you until he's bored and then they'll either drain you dry or erase your memories of them entirely. to you - you just think you're being approached by the hottest couple you've ever seen in your life. you dont know the danger you're in. how could you?

[jo-the-nerd]

ALSO SPEAKING AS SOMEBODY WHO ONLY KNOWS THE BARE MINIMUM OF GOOD OMENS AND THE INEFFABLE HUSBANDS i just wanna say im pretty sure bg3 has their equivalent in bloodweave (gale [the one played by tim downie] + astarion)

my defense:

autistic book nerd and king who has the Audacity to fight God + chaotic theater gay that gives cat vibes and may need Therapy

aziraphale and gale sound like the type that would have solidarity in old man knees . idek if thats canon for aziraphale but it sure as hell is for gale

aziraphale and gale rhyme holy shit thats becoming a legitimate bullet point AJSJSJSJA

the book nerds live in their own private library . gale has a whole ass wizards tower while aziraphale has his book shop (that iirc he doesnt even sell the books in it ???)

crowley and astarion are the same fruit men . i also dont know how to explain that crowley just gives me 8 strength vibes as well . even if he was an angel you cant tell me this man can lift more than three books at once

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other" vibes from the both of them (idc what the other endings for gale are hes denouncing mystra in my canon bc i say so <33)

is aziraphale the type to have a cat . he seems so . how about a cat w wings (<-a tressym) . theyd absolutely bond over that

if you replaced the cutscenes of astarions little hissy fits w crowley i think itd honestly still be pretty in character

if i manage to pirate good omens one of these days i will be confirming if my hypothesis is correct <33

Ooooh now we're talking :)))))) I'll try to be brief (< lying)

yup that's them.

'may need therapy' we all know they do, the 'may' is only there bc they either won't admit it (Aziraphale & Gale) or would have to get dragged kicking & screaming before ultimately weaseling their way out of it looney tunes style (Crowley & Astarion)

Aziraphale is an old man in all aspects except one (biologically), however Crowley is the same age and he would definitely have old man knees. he doesn't know what to do with his joints half of the time due to being snek

yeah there are no books being sold in that bookshop fgfjkfggnv. like, it's all first editions and what-not so i totally get not wanting to give any away but then why open a shop??? instead of a collection???

yk what, fair enough. Crowley is a noodle, those arms aren't doing much more opening doors for his angel. tbf he can lift multiple potted plants at once but that's more spite than anything

i could also totally see Astarion doing the Crowley Walk(TM)

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other vibes" so true, no notes.

aziraphale doesn't have a pet (yet) but I think he would love a cat (I mean, he's got Crowley hanging around, basically the same). A tressym is just a very peculiar step up from that (consider: it has it's own wings to match him and Crowley, which is really adorable!!)

crowley's hissy fits are great and can likewise be replaced with Astarion's.

similiar additions which would probably still be in character:

C slammed Aziraphale into a wall for calling him nice

C went out into the middle of the street when he got really frustrated/anxious and exploded lightning from his body

C agreed to take care of the bookshop, not selling any books etc. but tossed any books he was holding into some corner whenever

both of them evaded the immediate ire of their higher ups by pointing out a technicality that amounted to 'this word is explained to be different from the one you're using, but through a miniscule footnote on the last page of this giagantic book'

Aziraphale has an incredible hard time overcoming the trauma and toxic mindset upheld by his superiors, including how he views himself and his partner (that one's just sad, sry)

Solid ground for a hypothesis I'd say :))

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hiii so i put in a request for the matching thing but you didn’t respond to it so im guessing i didn’t put enough info which i completey understand!!! very sorry about that, i hope ur still doing these requests if not i deeply apologize. anyway pls take ur time so so sorry!!

i’d also like to be matched with someone in pjo pls!

personal info ? 15 yrs old, i’m a girl, she/her(truly idc), bisexual, half mexican (white dad…)

physical: i have medium length wavy brown hair with grown out bangs, im 5’4 average weight, pretty tan, brown eyes, silver circle glasses, i wear smudgy eyeliner w/mascara, i either wear tank tops with big pants or big t shirt with shorts

personality: i’m honestly very weird with the people im close with, like very. i have brainrot humor so im always saying weird ass shit acting like it’s normal. i’m also very sarcastic and if im not very close with someone i give them like 0 reaction i guess? idk ppl tell me im nonchalant but that sounds rlly corny 😬 anyway im very embarrassing in public when im with my friends and they hate it but i think its funny idc!! im also pretty moody but im just a teenage girl!!!!!!! i dont get mad that easily tho like i can take a joke i just get ANNOYED easily but then ill be fine in a few minutes. also ppl tell me im very funny so 😇 meat riding myself YES IM A NO SABO KID I AM TRYING TO LEARN SOANISH.

hobbies/intrests: love love love listening to music, love tv girl, tyler, mitski, arctic monkeys, the smiths, depeche mode, the cure, lana, tame impala, beabadoobee and so many other generes and artists but i only know like 2 songs 😬

i also had a severe fnaf phase, avatar the last airbender, spiderverse, saiki, and obvi percy jackson

currently OBSESSED with slushy noobz they are my whole personality they are how i act. along with avascreams on tiktok ive literally had 6 different ppl tell me “you know that one girl on tiktok?? you act just like her” IM TRILY NOT EVEN TRYING TO ACT LIKE HER I SWEAR. also love sam and colby i full heartedly believe in ghosts just watch ima become a ghost hunter 😊😊

as of right now my hobbies are playing stardew valley and never getting my homework done, i also love to draw but im not very good at it. i also love painting but i haven’t done it in a while bc of school :(( i take piano lessons as well but again, not very good even after 5 years. i rlly like reading too but again bc of school i haven’t read as much lately, love playing with my pets (dog and cat) they’re so cute i love animals so so much i want more but yknow im busy, ive also gotten into working out bc im tryna lose this face fat🫥

likes: love carnival rides!!!! they’re so fun i love the fair SO MUCH. beautiful atmosphere truly. the zipper is so fun don’t let anyone lie to you. nature, i love going on walks in the woods but i can’t bc i don’t live near any😔 food i love food, korean, mexican, american, japanese, i love it all. english class! teacher is so sweet i love her and its also easy and boring so

dislikes: six flags. i hate roller coasters. annoying ppl like bruh stfu up OH MY GOD. when my mom asks me about college, leave me alone pls!

okay i truly don’t know what else to put i hope this was enough 😓😓

-faith 👐

Hey Faith, I am so so sorry that this took incredibly long to complete. I’ve been insanely busy these few months and lots of personal stuff going on so I really hope that this does it justice! And also also don’t be sorry I’m really sorry that this took so long

Your PJO ship: Leo Valdez 🔥🔥🔥 (man I’m jealous)

Explanation: honestly the best way I can explain this is that you’re crazy totally matches his crazy. Your freak matches his freak. is somebody gonna match my freak? Yes, someone will match your freak and that person is Leo. Starting off with your physical appearance, I think that he would be very attracted to you and I think you give a vague match of his mom like I feel like you look like his mom a little little bit, which is what kind of drew him to you in the first place I feel like he probably saw you in a crowd and his jaw dropped. He just thought that you were your clothing style. He also liked your eyeliner which he had you do on him whenever you guys got comfortable enough in the relationship he was like hey can I please have your make up routine done on me? He looked rlly hot but anyway- you guys are just so chaotic together with your personality like you match him so well I feel like Leo in order to make a relationship work with him. He needs to have someone that’s either vastly different than him or the same because I mean, I just see you guys as Deadpool and Vanessa, you guys so chaotic in public you guys would do so much embarrassing shit together and social anxiety would be afraid of both of you combined, a deadly duo. Whenever you were first getting to know each other, and you were more relaxed and chill around him less if you’re crazy with showing, that’s what kind of Drew him like he thought that your dynamic could be that you would kind of be more opposites, but then he slowly realize that you were just as fucking goofy and silly as him, and he would have a blast with you as you guys got further on into your even like just friendship that eventually turn into romance. You guys always have the funniest times together like I’m not joking. You guys would be the couple to go out with if you wanted a good time because you guys just yeah you’re chaotic and glorious and also really freaking funny and I mean yeah. (I would also like to let you know to do a deeper dive into your personality. I did research some of the people you mentioned that you were compared to and watched some of their videos and subjected myself to the painful amount of puns and batshit crazy, honestly I’m pretty impressed if people are comparing you) as for your hobbies, he would love playing Stardew Valley and I feel like he would romance. Sebastian don’t ask me why, but I just feel like he would. He would totally want Sebastian as I don’t know why OK I really don’t. I really don’t but anyway that’s just my personal theory. But he would love playing Stardew with you. He’s also a procrastinator when it comes to homework and work and taking things seriously in general so you guys would be quite the interesting duo and I feel like U2 would just end up making out during study date so if you want someone to study with? He’s probably not the best person. Also, I think that he would love your art and would be absolutely obsessed. If you ever did any artwork of him or just inspired by him like he would love that he would frame that shit he would brag to everyone about how good you are and same goes with piano he’s obsessed even if you think you weren’t very good after five years of playing he thinks you’re magnificent. It took everything in him to not compare you to Apollo because he knew that that would probably get you like blasted into the sky or something, but he just thinks anything that comes from you is good basically. That’s Leo Math.

You + Anything= Good.

He can never read very much because of his ADHD. I just feel like he would lose interest in books really easily unless they’re really exciting or exactly what he’s being into at this point, so I feel like he would get the being too busy to read. He also loves animals. He would absolutely snuggle all the pets in the world. I feel like he just loves animals. I feel like he especially loves dogs because they match his energy and he’s definitely like a golden retriever guy or maybe a Chihuahua guy one of them anyway dogs are very Leo core. Also, he thinks your chubby face is cute, and while he promotes working out for the healthiness of it, he thinks you have the wrong motivation if you want to get rid of that cute squeezable cheeks. (Multiple cheeks if ykwim) he also loves carnival rides and he’s a huge foodie so if you ever went out to him, you guys would end up eating more than your stomachs and belts can handle I mean yeah you guys would just be done if you ever went out to eat because he would order so much food and then I feel like because of his ADHD he’d be midway eating through another thing and then see other stand and be like babe. We gotta go there next. basically you guys would be extremely full. He also likes nature walks. I think that he kind of just likes the dirt of it because he’s definitely not afraid to get dirty and he loves just poking around nature I mean, I honestly that’s how I see him going on hikes like he’d pick up slugs, he do all kinds of like gross stuff. People normally wouldn’t do like I don’t know, letting a worm crawl on his arm or something.  anyway you guys totally match each other crazy and match each other’s freak yes just like the song, and I really ship it 💕💓💗💞💗💞

[terraliensvent]

guys i think civ isnt satan (edit: they lied)

EDIT: please see this post, civ played everyone like a fiddle and blatantly lied about having nothing to do with the pet species deletion. keeping this og post up to show how dedicated they were to painting their narrative

so, a few screenshots relating to their bulletin were given to me (you can see my initial thoughts here)

now as with all breaking news there are revisions to be made with new info

(all screens can be found in this imgur gallery, may be out of order because imgur is dummy stupid)

so it turns out, civ and coy actually werent contacted prior to the decision. i do agree this could have been handled differently and there should have been more of a discussion around it, HOWEVER im more inclined to the side of current terra staff. for one, they came to the decision of one adopt every two months for each staff member as compensation for their work on the team. their reasoning for cutting down coy and civ's amounts is to be fair to everyone especially considering coy and civ arent actively working on the species anymore. i dont necessarily agree with the decision to cut customs though, since people have to actively seek them out for that and its more akin to a comm service. i also want to note that i can understand why terra staff wouldnt want to negotiate about the number of adopts with civ and coy, considering that this is how it went last time

you can see in the imgur screens the original terms, notably that civ and coy collectively were allowed to make 12 adopts a month. i can see how it would be seen as unfair to not be able to be compensated as much as the people who left the place to die.

throughout the screens it seems civ is being a lot more reasonable, i think more discussion should have been had with them and after introspecting, it probably wasnt right for them to be banned, however, i dont see why they couldnt just be unbanned. i think that theyre getting lumped in with coy severely here and truthfully that isnt fair to them. i dont know how i would go about the downgrade from 6 to 2, but what i do know is they were being pretty polite about it

coy on the other hand...

throughout the screens they just seem to keep throwing salt into the wound, working through loopholes and being petty just for the sake of it. their behavior i would argue is still deplorable, and their unwillingness to work constructively is probably the reason why they and civ werent included in the discussion. ive gone over coy a million times before, these screens just keep hammering the point home

besides that, there are a couple other things to note:

Tycho's lack of presence

Tycho (furthermore referred to as cal) diverting the discussion to others is something that has happened before, and can be a point of criticism against him, but honestly my personal opinion is that shit happens sometimes. cal has very valid reasons to want to pull away from the discussion, especially with the myo compensation event he seems to be giving his best despite the situation. i am willing to give cal a lot of leeway when it comes to being stressed because we have seen the work that he and his team are putting in. i mean ffs we already have new pet species concepts not even a day after the old ones were removed. hes got a lot on his plate, and coys un-reasonability and demanding things be done NOW would drive anyone crazy even if they werent already dealing with species AND irl responsibilities. you could argue that cal shouldnt be in a place of ownership if he cant take the heat which is a valid criticism, however i think that hes a fine owner, good even, its just that these situations keep popping up one after another and he just cant keep up. these arent things that normal species owners deal with

"disgusting"

so regarding these screens (because i know some civ/coy whiteknights are gonna try and use it to excuse all their actions)

listen, was it the most professional way to respond? no. but also: (assuming it was cal who said these) i would argue this is a totally valid argument. granted, probably not to be directed at civ, but still valid. if i was dealing with the same continued problems from people who arent supposed to even be a part of the project anymore, i would have blown my lid way worse. this comment isnt even that egregious to me, its just that civ and coy have created such an echo chamber that any criticism is seen as sacrilege, and given cal's previously mentioned stressors its completely understandable for him to react harshly when they have to deal with coy drilling up his ass and being petty for no reason

civ's final words

the screens speak for themselves here. i do think there are some things to be criticized relating to civs bulletin (particularly comments painting them as this poor sad puppy dog tossed in the rain) but ultimately they are not as much of a villain in this as coy is. best course of action honestly is to just leave them alone, they were pretty professional in the screens and just seem to want to be done with it

final verdict? coy is an ass. civ kind of isnt. it could have been done differently but i really understand why it wasnt. cal needs a break. new mods are still doing good in my eyes.

and terravent fans eat good tonight

[credulouscanidae]

every day i live in a passive limbo, waiting for the moment i suddenly feel better and can confront my anxiety, paranoia, and loneliness.

i feel like i have been shattered, and left in pieces with no glue to be put back together.

every day my existentialism and history of being gaslit dominates my brain and i can never make sense of my thoughts and feelings. i am constantly second-guessing myself, and implanting intentions that weren't previously there. i feel like i am required to have constant self-awareness, and to not have so means that i am Obviously Insane and Unsalvagable.

people on the outside would think im just a very holistic thinking person. which is true, and can be a good thing. but honestly? it's detrimental to how i perceive myself. i cannot unabashedly live in the moment of anything. i am, by default, viewing myself from a third person perspective in a hyper critical way. i feel afraid to fall into any category of people or labels, because to claim anything about myself is felt to either be a lie, a mockery of people who are "really" that thing, or it's attention seeking (which of course is the worst thing you could ever do right?)

even claiming to be existential causes a fear and anxiety that i am being pretentious or not self aware that it's a very human experience. my detachment from the world, my trauma, my existentialism, none of it is important or matters because others experience it too.

i cannot begin to describe what gaslighting does to the brain.

what it's done to me.

i dont even wanna claim ive become very isolated because others also experience it. id say the lockdowns from 2020-2021 triggered this, but i think more and more and realise that i wouldve done this when my mum died, or even earlier had i not had a confident person with friends take me under their wing.

i feel my whole life has come into question. i feel like my old home, my old life, my friends and pet and loved ones, dont exist anymore. i feel like im a dead person, looking back on their life and realising who i really was. all the mistakes and inconsiderate behaviours i ever done. it just fuels the fire of the gaslit brain.

everything i ever do or feel is a contradiction. i dont matter to others, but i also have more of an impact on others than i realise. the impact i have matters more than what im ever feeling, and for me to not be self aware of that clearly demonstrates how selfish and horrible i truly am.

maybe it's why people think im such a giving, non-judgemental, and sweet person. im not. im angry. im subjugated. im frightened. like a deer in the headlights, i have no choice. im easygoing and agreeable because i am scared of disagreeing or giving my thoughts through normal debate. because doing so in the past has caused assumptions about me, or intentions skewed or created. my words did not matter, but also they did.

i dont know how to just. start talking to people again. i have been given advice from people who have dealt with isolation but. i know the secret is to challenge yourself and do things even when you dont feel ready, because youll never feel ready, but how? i have lost so much. i dont have the support i need to do something so brave. because i am a coward who avoids and runs away. thats probably manipulative for me to do anyway. ive dug myself into a hole i cant climb out of. ive literally made it worse for myself for no reason. and now i cant even face the consequences of my own inaction.

but why would i wish for people to be there for me when i cant even be there for them? i know i would be there for them, in a heartbeat, but i cannot right now. thats selfish and manipulative to say i guess but. it's not fair that others dont get considered as a result of me not considering myself. mental illness makes you selfish. it makes you not a good friend.

i want to be a real friend.

dont wanna break when i bend.

.....

i have a therapist im gonna be seeing every 2 weeks. if this doesnt work out, then idk what i'll do. i have settled for the most part, and when life feels good, when my roots are grounding and growing in england, it feels good. i dont have many friends here, but i am happy with my partner and his friends, but it feels like i have so many loose ends and a life i have left behind that i cant face. and i am guilty when i experience happiness, let alone share it. because that doesnt align with my narrative that im suffering. which i am, but, i am also trying to survive and live in the life i currently have.

i guess that's what happens to the gaslit brain.

but i have to believe things will get better.

because if i don't

then what?

[just-rogi]

do you guys know that post about the glow in the dark stars that have been painted over in someones old childhood bedroom thats like, i hate when things are already poetry, because what more is there to say?

a few months ago i let my friend borrow a pair of shoes (hers were soaked through). it felt so significant then but i didnt have the ability to articulate why. last night i stayed over the same friends apartment, (like ive done a hundred times before) ((her very skiddish cat recognizes me now and will let me pet her)), and this morning she gave me a pair of her shoes to wear (i had worn cute red heels the night before, but they were not suited to the teachers union book fair we were attending together the next morning). and i dont know i cant write a poem that says anything half as significant as riding the train wearing your friends sneakers (size 8 1/2).

as if to say to me you can sleep on my couch any time. i have food the fridge i bought just for you because i knew you were coming over. your book is on my bedside table, im halfway through it. we joke-as you journal in the morning with your favorite pen-that if you die ill publish all your diaries for their value to anthropologists as a primary source, you say thats fine but i have to edit them, i laugh and agree. you ride home with me every day after work even though its out of my way. i know you get cold so i already laid out extra blankets on my pull out couch for you. my hair is tied up with your hair tie, and is kept out of my face while we work at the book fair the next morning directing small children. you sent me an email link with an article to canada geese today as a joke that we shared in my car- i will see it tomorrow morning and laugh. you left your shoes and phone, in my classroom over the weekend, but its ok, you can borrow mine- here take my charlie card for the train, i have seen you every day this week, and i will see you again on monday, and you will get your phone and your transit pass and your shoes but until then you can wear my shoes. im glad that my life is so intertwined with yours in such mundane ways. im glad that i am so known by you. how lucky we are that we're the same size shoe. but how do you explain to someone that size 8 1/2 creased black and white nike sneakers are a poem already when i wear them

[ohleander]

7.4.24

Feeling exceptionally off today, feeling frustrated, angry, and tired over my living situation. It isnt easy always being the child in the house. There are so many little frustrations that pile and add up and I feel like I'm drowning in tiny little nags and it drives me crazy. Its also hard to feel like communicating with dad because he does not listen well, and when he does, he either gets defensive and I'm the one who needs to apologize or he says he'll fix stuff but then things dont change. I just get weary of the same old same. I get flashbacks to when I was a kid, I get flashbacks to taking care of ma and grandaddy. I get frustrated with feeling like I'm just biting my tongue all the time with things that upset me because dad's both sensitive and defensive all the time. I get weary of feeling like my emotions dont matter and I can definitely see this suppression turning more and more into depression as the years go on. I often dont feel like its fair of me to feel as frustrated with him as I do. I tell myself to get over it and just be happy with it and just make the best of it, but its hard when the frustration pile is sitting in the middle of the room like dirty laundry. Its nobody's fault, its just a consequence of how life has unfolded so far. And I wish he were easier to talk to. I wish that he would actually listen more, but its not a habit that he learned or has practiced in his life. I guess I just feel trapped and lonely. Not unloved, I know that I am loved and appreciated, but I feel more like a service pet than anything else. There to keep the household going and provide contentment. When I feel this way, I often feel like I'm being irrational, but I'm learning to experience these feelings and comfort myself. I dont want to react angrily towards him, but I do need to learn how to validate and comfort myself better. Being on the inside of this weird little wall is very tiring and I need to figure out how to exist on the outside of this wall in a good way. The way I was raised up until my late 20s was so heavily codependent in ways I didnt even understand and now that I'm trying to get away from it, it feels unfamiliar and scary. Not something thats in practice. But I gotta hold myself and feel my feelings and still act right. As badly as I want to act up.

[tatakaebomb]

Sleeping with the enemy

ꕥ Pairing : Jealous Ex! Geto x Reader

��� Synopsis : You forget how good your ex is in bed, but you love to remember how persistent he is in reminding you…

ꕥ A/N : Geto makes my brain go brrrr istg. Might do some HQ hc? Maybe more MHA content? Idk. Anyways enjoy hehe.

ꕥ Word count : 1.6k

ꕥ TW : Jealousy, dom x sub, degrading, praise, mentions of blood, video image, size kink, bulge kink, dacryphilia, cervix fucking, pet names, teasing, mentions of oral, sadism, slight yandere behaviour? Not really they both just horny, orgasm denial, fingering, insecurity (?), rough sex, fondling, finger sucking, dehumanising (?), mentions of ass play, irresistibility, 18+

'What the fuck do you think your doing?'

Geto's hand angrily slams his phone down on the counter next to you. Image open to a clear video of you and his closest friend gojo, his hand wrapped around your waist - sinisterly close to your ass as your lips are feeding off his. Blurry background hardly distinguishable, your short skirt riding up the more you greedily attach yourself onto him.

You couldn't help but snicker at the sight of what you were seeing, sure it was wrong. Eating the face off of your ex's bestfriend but whatever right? You broke up who REALLY CARES.

'What? He's a good kisser' you nonchalantly blurt, sipping on your coffee.

It doesn't help that you and geto still live together and it certainly helped that you were so young and stupid to move in at 21 - only to be parted ways at 25 - still extremely fucking young. Shame your rent agreement doesn't end till next year.

'Are you being fucking serious? Gojo's not another one of yours fuck ups to be kissing?!' He angrily says, eyes never leaving your face. Whilst your sight lazily gazed off towards the television infront of you.

You didn't care much - but you just loved the sight of geto getting so torn up over you, he always does. As much as he doesn't like to admit it he's still always got eyes on you.

Your purposeful movements to leave the door only a slight bit open so geto just 'happens' to see you getting undressed. Your moans empathised because you know he's working just next door - trying his hardest not to walk in there and fuck you to sleep. Your teasing manner when you rewatch your old sex tapes in the morning, pretending like your just analysing how good you look when in reality you just love seeing how well you shape around his cock.

'Sounds like your jealous geto...'

Flickering eyes move up to peer at him, sneaky smile spreading over your lips as you chuckle at how worked up he's getting. You cant blame him, but it's so fun to watch how overprotective he gets sometimes.

'Yeah totally. You and me both know he could never do it like I could.'

You couldnt help but scoff at getos remark. Snobby expression lifted on his smirk.

You'll admit it - you hadn't had sex in a while, 2 months to be precise. And from the sounds of it nor has geto. But your not gonna let that control you.

'Right well if you don't mind, I've gotta go get dressed.'

'You haven't answered me.'

His hand moves to slam your back on the table, you couldnt help but shiver slightly at how serious he's taking this, it was just a harmless kiss. You broke up  6 months ago? Sure you've had your share fair of breakup sex but even after you act like nothings happened.

'There's nothing to answer. Now excuse me.'

Snatching your hand away you move to push him out the way, only for him to not budge. His face nearing towards yours, your body starting to get worried about what's happening. Your wrist suddenly whipped up.

'You think that don't you? You think gojo can treat you better than I can.'

'What- no. Geto dont be ridiculous now.'

He wouldn't let go of you. His fingers Just tightening around you, your body intrinsically leaning backwards.

Then you saw it. That mischievous glint in his eyes, the same one he had when he fingered you under the dinner table with your family just opposite you, the same one he had when you first tried BDSM and he spanked you so hard that you came without him even touching you. That SAME ONE he had when he first saw you so innocently fucked over for him, your clit writhed under your fingers as you screamed for him, his mouth agape and drooling at your brittle expressions. The same one he had every single time you fucked.

He knew he still drove you crazy, and you knew it too. You both were too intertwined with one another to let each other go and living together was harder than you thought to let him go.

'Want me to prove it to you. Prove I still know my way around your body, prove that I still know every sensitive spot on you. Hm? Is that what you want.'

You almost melted at the memory of his touch. Your lips hovering so close to his, skin almost touching. Chests briefing.

'I- geto-'

'You never called me that before. Say my real name princess. I know you remember it...' fingers moving to lift your jaw, his breath fanning your blushed face.

'Da...no.. I cant.'

'Fine. Guess I'll just have to fuck it out of you.'

Quickly his hand wrapped around your waist, lips colliding in ecstasy. Heavy panting and saliva swapped between the two of you. Your fingers moving up to intertwine with his hair, your body's insanely close together.

You could feel the growl escape his body the second he grabbed a load of your flesh. Your ass cupping so perfectly into his hands, the throbbing at your core expanding with every second that passes.

Picking you up he placed you on the counter, your legs spread out around his hips, the growing bludge in his pants stroking your cunt so gently, soft whines muttered out of your pretty swollen lips.

'I missed you..' he muttered gently against your curved lips. Your fingers fiddling against the loop holes of his pants, dragging it down to expose his fully hard erection. You could've came right there at the sheer size of him. 10 inches minimal, kept together cock. Foreskin pulled back slightly, flushed coloured tip exposed to your eyes.

'I missed you too daddy.'

A peck to your lips had your mind go almost dumb again. The way he rubbed against your pussy so swiftly, he was practically carved for you at this point.

Your head fell back with every inch that was pushed in. A loud moan escaping you, your teeth sunk into his shoulder. Tears already filling your waterline.

You were such an ego boost. Geto just loved how much you cried even if you were just sucking him off. Your bronzed cheeks glowing, eyes doting up at him. Throat full and clogged, your small hands trying to grab at whatever you couldnt fit. But with a little help from geto you learnt how to rub at him perfectly, tongue swirled around his tip. Infatuated eyes staring at each other the whole time - you were so irresistible to him.

'Ah- fuckkkk- too much...' you cooed in his ear. His greedy hands slipping up under your shirt playing with the underside of your breast. Comforting your agonising state as much as he could.

His hips snapped - harsh thrusts sent through your body. Your g spot already being felt, eyes shot to the back of your head whilst getos gaze were connected to where you two were joint. The sloppy noises of your cunt sending thrills through his body.

Harshly, he forced you to stare at what he was looking at. The way he bruised your cervix and the pool in your stomach almost snapped - the drag of his tip rubbing up and down the part he's been fucking for the past 4 years. Nobody else could carve himself in you the way he did.

'Your so fucking- tight- seems like your not as much as a whore I thought.'

His teeth gripped onto his tongue from the feeling of you squeezing down on him. Scratches dragged down his back, his favourite shirt now torn. Not like he cared very much, the sight of your near orgasm was worth way more to him.

'Daddy- m' gnna cum..'

'Tell me princess. Who fucks you best.'

'Y-you-'

'Who?'

'YOU! Please please please daddy-‘

'I don't think so princess. Cum and ill fuck you till you forget your own name...'

The sheer fear in your eyes had getos heart swelling. The tears draining down your face, the first thing he fell inlove with about you was those pretty eyes, and he loves seeing how fucked up they can get.

Quickly he pulled out, only to replace the hollow feeling with his four fingers, prodding harshly inside you. The pain in your body misplaced for pleasure. Your moans loud and broken.

'Fuck yeah..' he laughed at the feeling of your slick building up again, running down your plush exposed thighs. Legs tensing, eyes located strictly on your open hole.

'Daddy please... I cant I really cant..'

'Really? Fine then, such a slut for me-'

Your cum coated his fingers, squirting all over his chest and legs. Oozing feeling releasing from your body, laugh shook out of getos body at how much you had leaked. He knew you missed him but wow.

'Fucking hell princess. Didn't know ya still had it in ya...'

Your fucked out face hung on his shoulder, damp cheek laying flat on your side as you stared up at him. His eyes mesmerised with the sticky cum between his fingers.

Turning to look at you, he reached towards your blood drawn blown up lips. Tongue lapping at his skin even in your weakest form you drank up everything he gave you. Eyelashes fluttered shut at the feeling of your received release you didn’t even notice the way geto came without being touched.

Dragging his hand out, a trail of spit followed it. Glowing, pretty eyes so tired and aching. Arms resting on his body as you nestled yourself into his warm touch once again, how it was before.

‘Atta girl…’

‘Sorry…-‘ you mumbled ‘-You do treat me best.’

A soft kiss to your cheek made you grin, his thumb soothing out the raised areas on your face. Admiring how beautiful you were.

‘Dont underestimate me again princess… round 2?’

[batlingsstuff]

|| DREAM SMP HEADCANONS ||

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

hello! this is my first time doing headcanons, and i just want to clarify some things:

sadly, i won't be doing requests because i'm busy af with school and i dont want to dissapoint anyone, but you can drop some suggestions and i would think about it! it would be really nice :)

also i won't be writing romantic headcanons for minors or those who are uncomfortable with it, but i can do platonic headcanons for them! ^^

i won't be doing nsfw headcanons either, because i'm uncomfy with sexualizing real people and just writing nsfw in general :)

also, please tell me if someone is uncomfortable with fanfics and/or headcanons and i will erase that part as fast as possible, thanks for passing by! - batling

✦ means platonic

✦ characters : ranboo, tubbo, tommy, philza, techno and jschlatt

♥ means romantic

♥ characters: quackity, wilbur, nihachu, dream, george, sapnap, eret, karl, fundy and bbh

keywords:

(y/n) : your name

(n/n) : nickname

(p/p) : pizza place

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green

┌────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┐

SLEEPOVERS

---

GENDER NEUTRAL

└────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┘

♥ Quackity

oh boy

i just have two words for this one: pure chaos

he will punch you with a pillow if you try to sleep

and you will be MAD at this

grabbing a pillow and hitting him RIGHT IN THE FACE with all your strenght

he'll probably fake cry about it, saying that you hurt him

after a while of pillow fighting, you guys got tired and plopped into the bed, snuggling into eachother and just enyoing the comfortable silence before drifting to sleep

♥ Wilbur

you two will probably blast hamilton and scream the lyrics till the neighbours wake up and you get angry knocks at your door

and you will laugh at that, lowering the speaker's volume and telling him to lower his voice aswell to avoid your neighbours calling the police

then you'll eat snacks and talk about anything that pops into your mind, laughing at the most silly jokes

he will sing sweet songs to you, making you fall asleep to his calming voice

summary: fluff

♥ Nihachu

you and her will bake pastries at a very late hour

she REALLY enjoys baking with you bc she thinks it's a great way to spend time with you

all this girl wants is to spend her time by your side, doing particularlly anything like streaming, baking, playing games and going outside for a walk and/or shopping

once you finished baking, she will kiss your cheek multiple times. that's her way to tell you that you did a great job :)

you'll spend the rest of the night cuddling, eating your pastries and watching some random movie, commenting about how bad it is and laughing

♥ Dream

bruh

this bitch will speedrun the sleepover

is it possible to speedrun a sleepover? maybe

you'll spend the rest of the night probably playing uncharted 3: drake's deception in his old ps3

after a while, you guys got bored from uncharted and went to his pc to play amnesia: the dark descent

there are 2 options:

you will be scared as fuck and will avoid looking at the screen when you think something bad will happen or when some body will come out from a drawer

or you will be totally chill with it, laughing hard when clay pisses his pants for real when he encounters the gatherer

you named the gatherer 'bob' :)

♥ George

he'll take you to the rooftop

and pushes you so you fall to your death

i mean

he gets blankets and pillows so you can stargaze together

he'll teach you the constelations while pointing them, excited about every single one of them

"look (y/n), that's the ursa major!"

he'll have hot chocolate prepared too, so you don't get cold while stargazing

you try your best to not fall asleep on the rooftop

but eventually fail

when he notices you're asleep, he stops talking about the constellations and carries you to your bedroom, giving you a goodnight kiss and leaving you in your bed so you can have a peaceful rest

♥ Sapnap

hey mamas

i don't know what sapnap will do in a sleepover so i will just improvise B)

you will watch anime together

not any kind of anime, like that romance-comedy bullcrap

no fuck that

you will watch the classy angsty anime like madoka magica

WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

you will fucking cry because of literally anything that happens to the characters

"(y/n) why are you crying it's just a show"

'IT'S NOT ANY SHOW SAPNAP IT'S FUCKING MADOKA MAGICA OF COURSE I'M GOING TO CRY'

the last chapter made you fucking cry harder

AUTHOR HERE I WAS CRYING SO MUCH WHEN IT ENDED

yeah you will basically watch anime with him, cry about it and he will comfort you and bring you a glass of water so you don't have a terrible headache after it

I KNOW THIS HEADCANON SUCKED I'M SO SORRY

♥ Eret

KINGG <3

you two will plan a picnic in your yard

yes your yard

he'll bring a ton of snacks and you'll buy a few drinks

you two spend the rest of the picnic talking about your future and enjoying the snacks

then, he'll make you stand up and will teach you how to dance tango

and of course you will mess everything up

and you even stomped on his feet accidentally, making him wimper

but he brushed off the pain and laughed at your concerned face

after calming down his laughter, he gave you a passionate kiss and hugged you tightly

i love eret ok

♥ Karl Jacobs

this man.

this man is the definition of sweet

you'll spend the night cuddling and making cute pet names for eachother

he will definetely give you a great back massage if you're stressed

then he'll start writing love letters full of things he adore of you

and you'll do the same for him

after that, you will share your letters and just snuggle and smile at the sweet things you guys wrote for eachother

he will deffo shower you with kisses when he finishes reading your letter, telling you that you're the nicest person on earth

and that he loves you so so much

♥ Fundy

i'm a huge fundy simp ok

he will bring his piano to your house and you guys will compose a melody together

he will let you sit on his lap while you play the piano/keyboard with him

fundy will basically teach you how to play basic piano songs

you asked him if you guys could play megalovania together

he said no :(

but still you got to play nice songs together without messing up

and when you got the hang of it, he snuggled his face in your neck and kissed you there genly

and when you got tired, he started playing very calming songs and you fell asleep in his lap, snuggling into his chest

he gently carried to your room and will sleep beside you putting a fair distance so you can have a comfortable sleep!

♥ BadBoyHalo

bbh supremacy

he will get rat ready so you can snuggle with her too :)

you guys will mainly play with rat and talk about life in general

he will call you tons of cute pet names

ofc he will call you muffin it's bbh who we're talking about

he will talk about how bad he wants to spend the rest of his life with you

after a while, he will take you to his kitchen and start making muffins together

he will guide you on how to bake 'em though

you guys had a great time making muffins and cuddling with him and rat :)

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

✦ Ranboo

tall mf gives the best piggy back rides

when he gets to your house there is a 100% chance he will bump his head on the door frame

and there is a 100% chance you will make fun of him because of that

"(y/n) please stop laughing my head hurts :("

you'll give him some ice to put on his head while you two play minecraft on your ps4

you will bring snacks too and ask him if his head is better

"yeah, thank you (n/n)"

he will pull you in a hug so you can be comfy together while you play good ol' minecraft

because ranboo surely doesn't play anything besides fucking minecraft

stfu that video of him playing spooky's jump scare mansion doesn't exist

✦ Tubbo

SWEET BE BOYY <3

he will gift you a bee plushie

expect a lot of (FRIENDLY) hugs from him

like fundy, you guys will play piano together

you guys are most likely to prank call some random numbers AND your friends

and you accidentally called some random pizza place

"hello! this is (p/p), may i take your order?"

you were nervous and didn't know what to say

UNTIL YOU CAME UP WITH A GREAT IDEA

"hello? are you there?"

'hi yes, i would like to order 7 extra large pepperoni pizzas to (tommy's adress).'

"oh- okay! uhm- they will arrive in a few hours. are you okay with that?"

'yes ma'am, thank you.'

when you ended the call, you couldn't help but burst out laughing, knowing that tommy will be so mad at you guys-

✦ Tommy

like quackity, PURE. CHAOS.

you guys will obviously stream your sleepover

doing a q&a stream :)

tubbo and wilbur will probably crash your stream and start spamming things like 'MEETUP??' and 'DIDN'T GET AN INVITE'

you guys laughed and added them to the call

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GUYS INVITE ME?" wilbur shouted

'i'm sorry willlll'

you kept playing minecraft with wilbur, tubbo and quackity too since he crashed your stream like an hour later

after the stream, you got up and plopped on the mattress that was on the floor

"tired?"

'yeah'

"okay, good night big (initial)"

✦ Philza

POG

YEAHHH SLEEPOVER WITH THE MINECRAFT GOD

AND KRISTIN'S THERE TOO :)))

and oh god you ADORE kristin

i'm pretty sure she's a total sweetheart

it would be like having a sleepover with your parents

only that it's less boring

you guys will watch a movie together, you will be in one side of the couch eating snacks while phil and kristin are in the other cuddling

you'll eventually bug them about it

after the movie, you fell asleep early and philza noticed, talking to kristin about it too

and wrapped a blanket around you so that you get a good rest :)

✦ Technoblade

mr. blood god teaches you the arts of the CRAFT.

yeah i mean it's techno what else does he play besides minecraft

he will play bedwars w/ u, teaching you how to pvp

"bro you kinda suck tbh"

'stfu techno'

he will comment about how bad you are, but tries to help you get better anyways

and when you do a very poggers gamer move, he praises you

and when he praises you you're all :)))

after awhile, he gets tired from watching you play minecraft and suggest watching anime

fucking weeb

i mean

uh

other thing you guys do together in a sleepover is playing and commenting about pokemon

if you don't like pokemon get tf out of here /J

i was joking please don't leave i respect your tastes

✦ Jschlatt

ooooh boy

get ready for a session of wii training

that's all you guys will do

play wii sports and some other shit like wii music

he will laugh his ass of if you fall while playing wii fit

but he will eventually help you bc outside his funny and shouty persona, he's a really chill guy and a really nice person!

seriously like have you ever seen a theweeklyslap video?

well expect hearing amazing pep talks from him

bc this man is a legend and knows his way to words and is very good at comforting people :)

sometimes you'll rant to him about anything that's happening in your life, and he will listen to you and give you really helpful advice

and you appreciate him so much for that

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

TYSM FOR READING GUYS, i appreciate it if you made it this far :)

i hope you guys really enjoyed these headcanons, it's my first time doing them and aa i'm a bit nervous about posting this but i'll be fine ig

also i'm sorry if there's a grammatical error, english is not my native language and i'm still learning it :) have a nice day/night, drink water and don't fuck up your sleeping schedule!!

[annaizscribbling]

I WANT TO KNOW!!! ABOUT ELLIE!!! i wanna know about the pink girl!!! shes very cute and sweet (and reminds me a lot of patton kinda) and i want to know more about her.

first of all, when i think of her i kinda think of jules from euphoria, but like in her pastel stages when she wasnt fucked up (/pos). shes so bubblegum. like, hubba bubba girl, yknow?

can i learn a little about her home life? what inspired her to be the way she is? shes been very fluffy since she was a child, clearly, but why? why not be angry at the world?

also you may already have talked about this but i havent scrolled through ur entire calypsokimm tag so i dont know, how did she meet the other girls?

I love Ellie so very much and will happily talk about her <3 fair warning I don't have quite as much backstory laid out for her like I do for Calypso (Cal has the most complex story by far, for obvious reasons, but the other's all have stories, most are just not as detailed/still in development) but there is still going to be so much.

I haven't watched euphoria do idk Jules outside of like, pretty pictures, but I can confirm that Ellie is very hubba bubba bubblegum girl

As I've mentioned in passing, my OCs were originally going to my own sides, but I very quickly decided I could do more with them as their own people. Ellie was set to be the bulk of my emotions, my vulnerability, and my more childish tendencies. I did not want one side to be morality, because I would have given that job to Logic/Athena, which probably tells you something about me as a person lol.

But she would have taken on Patton's character type, as bubbly, oblivious, honest, childish, and angelic in terms of virtue.

Most of the girls have names that fit them perfectly because of like origins and meanings and even what countries they came from, but not Ellie. I looked it up just now, and it means 'light' which is surprisingly fitting for her.

The reason I named her Ellie was simply after my childhood dog. She (the dog) is very old now, but still with us and deeply loved. We first got her when I was around seven or so, and at the time, I adored the name, and always loved to play pretend using it as my character. When we got the dog, my brother suggested it and here we are 11 years later.

All of my girls embody different parts of me, quite literally, because that was the original plan. Ellie literally has the name I used to play pretend with as a kid, and is the name of my oldest pet.

She's unique in that way, as well as her color scheme even. She's color coded with light blue (nod to pat) and pink. Her hair is dyed blue save the ends, which are still her natural brown for some reason.

As for her personality, Ellie is incredibly sunny. She lights up the room as soon as she walks in, she's so good at charming people with earnest conversation and an easy going excitable nature that draws people in. She's lighthearted, funny, giggly, and has a special knack for understanding people. She can be impulsive, wild, and high energy at all times. Sometimes she's reckless, filled with a deep wonder and adoration for the world around her and the things within it. She feels like she's bubbling over with a profound joy for everything around her.

The world is beautiful, to Ellie. It's gorgeous and overwhelming, but so so worth it.

She can be observant, but only when it comes to a person's character, how they work, what they like, and the things that make them special. She won't notice the new curtains or remember what she had breakfast or lots of other basic things that drive Athena to the brink of insanity, but she knows Athena's tells for when she's especially upset, or the sweater she wears when she's thinking about her boyfriend, or even the food she makes when she didn't sleep well the night before. Ellie is good at people, she understands them on a deep and empathic level, she just doesn't notice that she ran another red light by mistake.

Her emotional intelligence comes across as older than she is. In her late twenties, she manages to carry both her almost innocent giddy personality and her very calm, mature, almost ancient understanding of anyone she comes across. She cares, in an honest and loving way that's so genuine it's nearly startling. She almost effortlessly knows how to comfort people, whatever your love language is when you need it, or even what type of person you need. She can be tender and motherly, she can be playful like a sibling, supportive like a friend, or just a loving figure who'll listen to you when you have nobody else.

She's the closest with Bree, but Ellie is good friends with all of her roommates. She makes a point of coaxing Athena and Luna especially into being more open, and she's managed to get them to open up more, so they're able to have friendships where they can all be vulnerable, even where they hate it.

Ellie really is a special person, on some level she knows it. It isn't through grand gestures or a global impact. She doesn't really care too much about leaving her mark on the world or being infamous. Ellie is just different, she understands people. She loves them. She is unique

Alright I'll give some actual background now. It'll explain some of that.

Ellie grew up pretty middle class, her parents had a rocky relationship even before she came along, but they kept their struggling relationship under wraps and just stewed. Ellie was an only child, as her parents quickly realized that having a child didn't fix anything for them, and having another would just be more difficult.

Ellie would never grow up feeling loved by her mother and father.

She was always provided basic necessities as well as entertainment, but was never close or even wanted around her parents, not unless they were in public.

Her parents weren't rich, but were well established in their social circles. They came from a very large extended family with high expectations for how well a family should get along. From neighborhoods, coworkers, friends, and family, it was important to Ellie's family that they looked like the ideal family.

From as young as six years old, Ellie knew when to smile, when it was okay to hug her parents, and when she was expected to sit in her father's lap or hide behind her mom's leg. It never felt real to her, it just felt right. Mom and Dad smiled and laughed with her in public, dad would scoop her up, bouncing her and saying something silly whenever grandma was watching them. Mom would nod when Ellie made a cute comment to Mom's friend. They never said it explicitly, Ellie just learned what was expected of her, what made Mom and Dad happy.

And Ellie really wanted them to be happy.

They fought and screamed at home. They hated eating dinner together, it always ended up so tense and snappy when they did. Ellie didn't understand the numbers and names they were talking about but they made everything scarier. She never knew when the air would break and it would become a true fight. Ellie would be tersely sent to the other room, and Ellie would sit far back on the couch with her hands in her lap, fists around her dress, and her eyes locked straight ahead. She tried desperately not to hear it, or think about it. It was too scary to listen to the yelling.

She wasn't sure if she loved how they seemed to love her when they weren't fighting, or if she just feared the anxiety that rose and bubbled in her chest when they fought.

So she learned. She learned to do good things. if she cleaned the kitchen, Daddy wasn't as annoyed when he came home. If she complimented Mom's body a whole bunch, she'd be lighter, and less likely to start snapping at Dad. She memorized all of their favorite movies and books, so she could always bring them up or play them on TV. It was a quick way to distract them after dinner, if they made it through dinner at all.

They liked when she was cute and quiet. They liked when she made simple friends and did easy activities with them. They liked when she did arts and crafts to put on the fridge. They liked when she was curious about all the right parts of their jobs. They liked when she made safe lighthearted jokes, but only when the mood was correct.

Ellie learned all of the subjects that set Dad off. Ellie learned what tones lead Mom down an angrier path. She learned when and where to interrupt before either parent upset the other.

When she was ten, her father ended up getting a hefty promotion. It changed their dynamic, for the better at first, but everything quickly came back to the stressful everyday life she was so accustomed to.

Then she met Bree, one of her new neighbors.

Ellie had always worked hard to keep herself under control. Make sure all of her qualities were kept under wraps and easy to digest. She kept her positivity dialed all the way up, kept herself as quiet as possible, and never pursued anything impulsive, loud, adventurous, or unpredictable. There was a deep longing inside of her, that wanted nothing more than to throw on her favorite neon blue cardigan and run barefoot through the park, play with other kids, die laughing at a schoolmate, get messy in the mud on a rainy day, finally listen to loud music and scream it without caring who hears, and do things at the drop of a hat.

As desperately as she wanted it, none of that was an option, not in her family. She wasn't sure if she was angry, even as an adult reflecting on it, she's not sure. Adult Ellie might be angry on her younger self's behalf, but little Ellie wasn't angry, just very very scared, and very sad. Her little body was nearly in tatters trying to keep so much love held back, but there was no one to receive or give her the love she craved.

So she spend her days fantasizing about the person she wished she was, but could never be.

But Bree was like that. Bree was very much like that person she wished she was.

Bree was loud. She loved attention as much as she loved giving it. She liked shiny things and singing at the top of her lungs to songs in a language Ellie doesn't know. She loves swooshy dresses and glitter, and is constantly affectionate with her family and friends. She did fun things, she climbed trees, helped her mom cook, ran down the street to meet with her friends, laughed without monitoring her volume, made messes she begrudgingly cleaned. She could be whiny or pouty, but it never stuck and she was always ready to pull herself up. She was feisty maybe petty, and fun. Bree was so fun and Bree's parents didn't dislike the way she had fun. They reigned her in if she got too wild, but they loved her, even when she was difficult or loud.

It shocked Ellie.

Because it was everything Ellie had every dreamed of, living just three doors down.

Somehow they became friends after meeting a few times at block parties and the local pool, and Ellie was introduced to a brand new world. It was like the planet turned upside down. For the first time in her life, Ellie could be herself.

They could be loud, spontaneous, wild, silly, childish, messy, and everything else a 10 year old child was supposed to be. Bree's house was a safe place, with a family who was charmed by her gentle soul and sweet friendship with their youngest daughter. It was a friendship that saved Ellie from the brink of giving up, even as young as she was.

And life went on.

Ellie had neither the desire or the ability to articulate what her homelife was like, so her friendship with Bree was a simply a solace from it all, and the two grew and remained almost impossibly close. The two even ended up at the same school after the next summer, and their days were filled with each other. Endless memories and shrieks of laughter filling their days.

It was the happiest few years of her entire life thus far.

Then her parents took her out of that school to switch her to another. She silently lamented the loss of seeing Bree daily, but still spent copious amounts of time with her outside of school. Things were still okay, things were still happy. She was okay. Everything was okay. Her parents were difficult, but there was peace, life was worth it, and her love for the world had a place to go. She just had to smile

Then Calypso happened.

Ellie loved Cal. She was accepting another person into her life, almost to the same extent that she trusted Bree. Cal was soft and kind, good and pure and gentle. Calypso was not, and the pain of that betrayal nearly broke her.

She spiraled for weeks, barely sleeping, eating, or even getting out of bed for anything but school. Her parents paid little attention, but Bree's family did express some concern that Ellie's own parents pretended to care about. The fighting had been infinitely worse lately, with nonstop screaming, breaking things, kicking each other out of the house. She wasn't sure if it ever got physical, and she was terrified of finding out. Ellie barely saw them, but when she did, she'd just smile. She was so good at smiling. Smile. Smile. Just smile.

She hated Calypso, missed her, loved her, grieved her, despised her.

But Calypso revealed the truth to her, in a terrible, cruel way that ached just to think about.

Ellie lied in order to survive, and it hurt.

It was that simple.

Good thing Ellie liked a challenge

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Road Trip ft Bucky

Guess what? I wrote another fic and I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON. But I want Loki and Bucky to be best friends and I have a lot of Winter Soldier/Bucky feels and I needed to express them somehow so yea. But don't worry, I'll get back to the honeymoon fic, I just had to express some Bucky feels. There's like no angst in this at all, I just had to write Bucky

-

You walked into the living room and slapped a brochure onto the table between Loki and Bucky. “We’re going on a road trip!” You announced with excitement.

Loki lowered the book he had been reading and raised his eyebrow, looking down at the brochure.

“Route 66?” Bucky read aloud, “Oh man, Steve and I always talked about driving across that.”

Loki set his book down beside him, marking his page. Wistfully he added, “Thor and I once drove a distance along it. What year is it now? I think it was in the 1960s?”

You looked between the two of them bewildered, “Wait what?”

Bucky crossed his arms, “You do realize it was made in 1926, right?”

You cursed softly, grabbing the brochure from Bucky and quickly scanning it. “Am I the only one who hasn’t been to this place?”

“Sorry, love.” Loki stood, wrapping his arm around you and giving you a side hug.

Bucky chuckled, “It’s the most famous road in America, it connects the Midwest to the Pacific Ocean. You can drive the whole distance on one consistent road without branching off and get to California.”

You waved your hands emphatically, “Which is why we should go on a road trip on it! Bucky, my best friend, Loki, well duh, and you two are like, best friends. We would make the perfect trio. We would take turns on snack duty, navigation duty, and driving. Stark has the money for a convertible. Just the three of us, sailing down the road, eating, laughing, hanging out. Just friends being friends! What better a vacation than that?”

Bucky exchanged glances with Loki then the two looked back at you.

Sam and Natasha walked in at that moment.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked.

“Loki’s sweetheart, here, is trying to get us to go on a road trip along route 66.” Bucky replied.

You rolled your eyes at the pet name but smiled as Loki rested his arm on your shoulder.

Natasha nodded thoughtfully, “Yea, I’ve heard of that. Famous road, cutting through the western states, right?”

You pointed at her, “Eh? Does everyone know about this?”

“Don’t look at me.” Sam held up his hands, “Are you lot sure about this?”

“Well we haven’t made any plans, Sam.” Bucky said, also standing now.

“Plans, yet,” You corrected.

“Does Stark know that you plan on using him to finance this?” Loki queried mildly.

“He will. He always finances my plans.” You beamed up at Loki.

Loki smirked.

Sam shook his head and snorted; Bucky laughed.

“Alright, I’m game if you are.” Bucky said once he had stopped laughing.

“As you command,” Loki bowed low before you, “I will go where you go.”

“Good. I wish to go on a road trip.”

“Then I guess it’s settled. What’s the next step?”

-

Loki and Bucky stood with the bags, road trip supplies, snacks, and anything else that might be necessary for a two-to-three-week trip. Loki’s magical pockets may have been employed.

Moments later you came roaring into the lot where they were waiting, car skidding to a stop with a loud squeal of tires.

“Hello, boys.” You said, lowering your oversized sunglasses to stare over the rims to look at the two of them.

Bucky rolled his eyes at you as you popped the trunk of the car and he started tossing luggage in the back.

A tinge of pink rose on Loki’s cheeks and the back of his neck at the crop top shirt you wore, ideal for getting as much sun with the convertible top down on the long drive across the sunny plains.

Bucky sighed looking at Loki, “Alright you two love birds, you can’t be completely,” he waved his hand, “like this, the whole time or I’m getting a cab.”

Loki cleared his throat. True to form, he was wearing a black suit. “Apologies Bucky.”

“Sorry.” You mumbled.

“I’ll get snacks first. I guess Loki’s navigating then? No sense in having you switch from the driver’s seat.” Bucky jerked his chin at you.

Once everyone was settled in, you more carefully backed the dark green convertible out of the lot and took off down the road.

-

“So I thought about using a good old fashioned map to have us navigate.” You explained as you drove.

Loki looked at you aghast.

You grinned at him, “Sure, I thought it’d be fun. We could have a no phones rule, go completely electronics dead except for music.”

“You’re saying to the guy with a vibranium arm.” Bucky called from the back seat, sitting in the middle with his arms stretched out and watching the empty highway.

“Ok, almost completely.” You shot back.

“Your technology backwards planet is already bad enough as it is.” Loki muttered, resting his elbow on the door of the convertible. Despite his hair being slicked back heavily, some of it still fluttered wildly in the wind.

“Don’t you guys still ride horses everywhere?” Bucky called.

You laughed. The navigation indicated you should correct your course and you complied while Loki ignored the comment and rolled his eyes.

“Alright Bucky, snack me.” You ordered. There was a light tap to your head. “Hey!”

“Oh right, I thought you said smack me. Right, right, what do you want?”

Loki snickered and you shot him a glare before saying, “You got my favorite chips, right?”

“Of course.” Bucky passed up a travel sized package of chips to you, pre opened and you set them between your legs and began to eat as you drove.

From time to time, you’d pass one on to Loki.

“Loki, are you sure you want to wear a suit for a six hour car trip? With only breaks for bathroom stops and gas?” You glanced to the right.

Loki shrugged, “I’m comfortable.”

“Hey! It’s the Wrigley Field!” Bucky called from the backseat.

You and Loki looked in the direction Bucky was pointing. It was indeed a giant baseball stadium.

Again, Loki shrugged.

You imagined Loki had seen more impressive things in his lifetime than any sporting event humans could make, but hey, it was still neat. Reaching for the camera, you tossed it back to Bucky and indicated for him to take a picture. “We’re making a scrapbook!”

Bucky shook his head ruefully, “Alright.”

-

Over the next few hours you were on the highway and out on the real road, driving southwest. The three of you had stopped at a number of attraction spots, switched positions, gotten lost once or twice, refueled and now Bucky was driving, and you and Loki were in the back seat as the sun getting low in the sky.

You had packed a few blankets, just in case. The top of the convertible was still down, and Bucky was listening to some music that Sam had recommended, quietly nodding and humming along to it. Your eyelids felt heavy as you sat huddled in the back, the blanket wrapped tightly around you, leaning into Loki. Loki wrapped his arm around you, rubbing your bare arms through the blanket and murmuring gentle words of comfort. Between the roar of the wind, the soft lull of the music and Bucky’s singing, and Loki’s soothing words, you felt a smile spread across your face. You curled your legs up onto the seat and huddled into Loki, resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his waist.

You were filled with your favorite snacks and drinks, tired from the hours of driving, and content to be with your best friend and well, Loki. Your heart swelled at the thought as you sank deeper into the soft material of Loki’s suit. All you could smell was him, even his hair seemed to whip around less in the wind. Maybe the blanket was holding it down. It felt so soft against your face. You wished you could stay in this moment forever, capture it with your camera and keep it in your scrapbook. Loki’s tender hands gently sliding over your thigh, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the sensitive skin as he whispered sweet nothings to you.

The car slowed down and the wind didn’t whistle in your ears so drastically. Perhaps you had reached a town. You weren’t fully aware of your surroundings either way, too engrossed in the complexity of Loki holding you. It wasn’t the first time, and you doubted it would be the last time, but you could never stop marveling at how incredible a feeling it was.

“Love.” Loki murmured softly.

You suddenly realized you weren’t moving, though there was the vague sensation that you still were.

“We’re at the hotel.”

Bucky stood on the other side of the car door, leaning down and looking at you. He looked tired but amused. “No fair sleeping before we got here.” He said mussing up your hair. “C’mon, we got a long day tomorrow. And I am not sharing a room with you two.”

Loki tilted your head down and kissed your forehead. “Come, let’s get you some proper sleep, loathe as I am to move.”

You smiled, “That sounds nice.”

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow. 

[081098]

stop assuming the worst of people who love you

be honest with yourself and others if something small is important to you. ie: birthdays

realized recently that i tend to assume the worst of people. particularly my friends/family's intentions

friend of mine invites me out to run errands with her. my sister invites me out for errands. i assume they're asking because they want a ride. in my mind, they have a history of this. but do they?? i love running errands with them but i think i'm always angry about being asked for rides

birthday stuff. my family isn't big on birthdays, we normally just go out to eat with the 4 of us. unless i make the effort, mine tends to fall by the wayside because it usually falls on thanksgiving weekend (canada). i sent my parents the link to where i'd like us to go because again, it feels like if i don't make the effort, then we won't do anything. my mom says "i have to be home for x time" and my IMMEDIATE thought is 'oh she doesnt want to go' and even as i'm typing this i'm thinking 'what if i just dont push any more? will they remember?' because deep down i know it'll be something i can get mad about later. it's a weapon, a little emotion bomb. what the fuck is wrong with me. at least i can recognize that before i make it worse. i'll just send another message today. i am not the 19 year old who starved herself for two weeks when her mother was away to see if her dad and sibling would notice, because she knew they wouldn't. that wasn't fair of me. that was a fucked up thing to do. you don't get to play this manipulation game by yourself, you don't get to test people without communicating what the underlying issue is first

my friend says 'shoot i forgot to wish you a happy birthday.' this i'm actually not upset about because i know she was thinking about me, she gave a little early gift which was very kind of her. but in my head, i remember last year that she forgot to send me a message. i KNOW i shouldn't care that much. i'm 26, i'm not a child and i know that at age 26 a birthday is also just Some Day. i had a doctor's appointment on my birthday. i paid for parking. i went back to work in the afternoon because it was a tuesday and i'm an adult who knows that i share this day with millions of other people. thankfully i realized before i could open my stupid mouth, how insane it would've been if i'd told her "oh i remember last year you forgot too haha." legit one of my pet peeves is people who can't talk seriously about things that you can clearly tell are important to them, like they make a joke about it but you can tell they're serious despite the tone of voice. if i had said something, it would've felt like that.

i always say that i'm terrible at holding grudges. i remember things but i'm bad at being mean to strangers. so why do i do it to people i love? even if i don't bring it up, why do i keep track of these things when it's someone i love. i hold these little tests of mine in my back pocket like they're hidden cards, things to throw back when i want to be mad at someone, when i want to make them feel bad and make myself feel bad in the process. that's fucked up. i should be able to communicate better with my friends and family, who have known me for decades now. i need to work on this. love isn't supposed to be a test you stupid sad bitch.

reminders to myself, in hopes of being a better person tomorrow than i was today:

let people point out your mistakes or shortcomings

it is not a personal attack

you are human and you will make mistakes.

you will always encounter things you didn't know before

it is not a personal attack!!

you don't need to double down or get defensive

just shut up and listen sometimes

you can give to people without taking away from yourself. you can give to yourself without taking away from others. do not mistake self-indulgence for selfishness, but do everything in moderation

if five minutes of personal inconvenience can make someone else's life easier, then do it.

[kdramachitchat]

Hometown Cha Cha Cha episode 2 recap: Hye-jin tries to be more sincere to her new neighbors. Her clinic ended up being a success, thanks to Dusik. Looks like they met before in the past too.

The episode begins with a surrounding view of the ocean closing to night time. Then the morning comes with Hwa-Jung being busy with what looks like accounting matters. She then opens a folded paper that states her divorce mutual consent with her husband. Those are some of the moments she said that she regrets.

Another Gongjin resident Oh Chunjae is also going through his recorded tapes. Seems that he used to be a recording artist back at the 90s as he was reminiscing with his 2nd album casset demo. I wonder how he never made it. We were then shown with Dusik getting something out of closet, a black suit and he's looking at it pensively with a sigh. Minah finally opens her clinic but ended up sighing. Goes to show no matter what decisions you decided to take, you can never turn back the clock.

We go back to 2 weeks ago, Dusik enters the Chongho Scuba Diving shop with Hyejin in toe. They were checking out the possible office spaces. Dusik showed her a office space that has a nice view of the ocean. Hyejin though is not satisfied as she has requirements for her office, not just for a nice view. Despite not being satisfied she is running out of options. Dusik showed her a better option with a bigger space but the style is old fashion as its more ecofriendly. The interior isnt style. She wants a more antique european style. I dont think you could find that in Gongjin. Dusik offered her offwhite wallpaper isntead that is the simplest thing he could offer trhat's close to her taste. Hyejin is worried though in hoping that Dusik and Hwajung may end up scamming her because she's not from the countryside. Hwajung reassures her by saying that everyone knows the both of them. They could never scam anyone. She revealed her card and states that she's a zone chief. They show more proof and the office space that she just saw is the unit that Hwajung planned to save if ever she opens up her 2nd restaurant. Although, with the goodness of her heart she offered it to Hyejin because she thinks that the whole town needs a dental clinic and its much more valuable. Dusik tried to leave but Hyejin stops him by stepping on his foot.  They officially signed the contract as landlady and tenant. Hwajung then pays Dusik for 4 hours worth of work. Dusik ended up following her back. She owes him 17k won worth. Dusik offers services for renovating and shows her all his certified liscences. Hyejin ended up in shock and thinks he's weird. She's back in Seoul packing her things and showing her friend where she's moving.

Hyejin finally travels back to Gongjin looking content and satisfied while driving. The locals are curious as to who is moving in. Someone is moving into Ms Seo's house. The locals thought its a joke that she's a dentist although she really is one. She finally settles in and calls her parents updating them about her moving status. She even puts up her family portrtait. Dusik then visits her late at night to verify her registration. Dusik tells her the neighborhood rules and things she should know. Since Dusik was the one who set up the house, he sets up the door lock code too which ended up being his birthday. We now know that he's a year older than her and she accidentally calls him 'oppa' she instantly feels weird about it after Dusik asking if its a hint of affection. He says that he doesnt want any of it. She then asked him where the nearest coffee place is. In order to work she needs coffee to start her day and the only one nearby is the 4000won coffee stop, HAHAHA. She feels traumatized already and refuses to come back there. Dusik says let bygones be bygones as they're her new neighbors now, she has to get used to them despite the wrong introductories. She said she doesnt mind but the coffee is awful. The word has spread of a new dentist in town, the elderly talks about going for a visit. While running, Dusik finally renovated her dentist office and Hyejin complimented his work on a job well done. The villagers saw her running with the joggings but since they live in the village so long they do not know that its workout gear in the modern era. they ended up in shock. Hwajung stops by at Hyejin's to check up on her and is impressed by the renovation.

She then invites her to a party for the elderly the next day. Hyejin looks uncomfortable and tells her that she'll check her schedule, although Hwajung tells her to stop by even if she's busy. Its a way to introduce herself as a neighbor and to promote her clinic. Hyejin then sits with the elderly ladies, Gamri offers her bread wrapped with kimchi by the hand but Hyejin declines it, that's a wrong impression right away for someone who wants to promote her clinic. It comes off as rude. Hwajung comes to her aid and tells her if she needs any help to let her know because she rented 2 of her properties. Hyejin starts complaining about the minor details of her office space and Hwajung looks at her with a stunned expression. The rest of the village people started introducing themselves and offers help. They all stood up and she's left alone with the cafe owner Chunjae. He continues to promote his failed 1993 song to her as well as his life story on how he ended up in Gongjin. She starts to get annoyed and lose appetite and left. She starts complaining on how they're eating out in the open and its unsanitary. Being a dentist makes her become OC with the cleanliness but she doesn't have to be rude about the food either. The village people were trying to be nice to her. Dusik tells her she's fussy and picky. Tells her why cant she see the good things around her. Good point. Dusik trying to show her the good things about Gyongjin but she isnt listening to him.

The speaker ended up with a sound issue and Chunjae stopped singing. Hyejin was ended up exposed on loud speaker complaining that she should've stayed in Seoul. Uh oh. This is so embarassing. The mic at the office she's in is open. I'd be so embarassed to show my face infront of them after badmouthing them behind their backs. They may be annoying but dont be rude. Hyejin realized what happened quickly and Dusik was the most disappointed person in the room. Dusik defends her that she's just doing is ignorant blabbing, tells Chunjae not to take it seriously. She then decides to open applications for new employee recruitment for her clinci. She then receives a delivery from Dusik. Tells him that he does everything for the village. Dusik tells her that she thinks she knows everything just because she got good grades and has a good paying job. Just because she was able to get through the small bumbs she decides to act bigger than everybody else. Just because she freely judges the village people's lives but when its her life she's offended especially when she's being assessed. Dusik stating facts, life isnt fair for everybody. Dont judge on people's shortcomings just because you passed yours. Someone ran the doorbell and her best friend Miseon surprisingly visits her. It was revealed that her partner ended up cheating on her. Miseon tells her to take down the classified ad and offers herself to work for Hyejin. Her first day at the dentist finally started and nobody has visited. They're bored out of their minds, went out and tried to think of ways to promote the dentist. The village ended up ignoring her whenever she's trying to greet them. She deserves this and Miseon notices that everyone else is ignoring her.  Dusik observes her from afar looking worried and she finally tells Miseon what happened. Her friend immediately tells her to move out to avoid the red expenses and not to end up like her dad. Dusik then sees her jogging at night. Dusik advices her to at least meet with the village's expectations halfway. Be part of them. She needs to get acustomed and Dusik tells her that people make mistakes. She didnt know that the mic was turned on. He tells her not to worry as they all badmouth other people once in a while. He also tells her that since both sides are even she can move forward from this incident and start fresh. She then offers the rice cakes to the neighborhood as a way of apology. Not every delivery ended up smoothly. She ended up meeting the 2 kids from the last time. They asked for a favor to take care of their pet as they couldnt but Hyejin declined politely. She recommended Chief Hong but even Hong declined. She thought why would he ignore a child's request if he's acting high and mighty. The word has spread around even to children, they talk about how she's a cold-hearted person and this hurt Hyejin. She has no choice but to take care of the pet.

Dusik visits Chunjae and sees that he threw away his 2nd album demo casset. Dusik pays Hyejin a visit. Tells her off thinking that handing out rice cakes is enough for the village to forget about what she's done. She has to do more and be more sincere. Dusik offers his help and doesnt want her business to tank. She cant avoid them forever and Dusik invites her to a neighbor meeting. Hyejin tells him that they're all strangers and asks for support but Dusik sends her off and for her to do it alone with courage. Theyre still offended that Hyejin's standards are not met and they're surprised that she even attended. Dusik saves her by bringing snacks which were made by her. Dusik makes an excuse for her that she was edgy on moving and wants to apologize by preparing some food. The meeting is about a cleaning project they have to do and thanked Hyejin for her snacks. After the meeting Hyejin thanked him and is surprised that he ended up caring so much. Dusik gives her the bill with the snacks he bought and tells her to wire him the money. Hwajung shows up to her home and tells her to attend the weekly cleanup, she says that she just moved and as an excuse it was satisfying. But then Dusik ended up bothering her by his constant door knocking and bell ringing. She even faked her sickness but Dusik is not having it. He's acting like a strict father and forces her to join the cleaning.

A first visitor finally visited the clinic and its Euncheol. Then more visitors started coming in. Looks like a new leaf has turned. Euncheol reported back to Dusik about her treatment and the cost saying that its reasonable. Dusik visits Chunjae and tells him that his song has been imported digitally. Chunjae tells him that he shouldnt focus on the past anymore and move forward to the future. Chunjae asks for a favor from Dusik to teach him how to properly make coffee. We then see that the clinic is becoming more busy and it looks like its gearing towards sucess. They ended up with a satisfying and exhausting day. Although they suddenly thought how overnight their dentist clinic became a success and for sure Hyejin believes it's all thanks to Dusik. Hyejin bumps into Chunjae and tells him that the title track isnt her favorite but favors another and apologizes with his story. She asked where Chief Hong is and looks like his mood suddenly cheered up with her truthful compliment. Chunjae went back and listened to the track Hyejin liked. Hyejin gave him the confidence. She then finally has found Dusik sitting at the top of a small hill nearby the water.

Hyejin thanks Dusik for the many patients she received today. The ep ended up with her climbing the small rock hill but ended slipping and Dusik saved her from falling. A flashback of Dusik spending time with his grandfather. They spot a family and the father asked a favor to take a picture of them. Dusik tries to cheer up Hyejin and she ended up smiling for the photo. Is this why Dusik likes spending time with the elderly? Its because of the memories he has with his grandfather? They met before.

Du Sik is really Chief Hong. While everyone was shunning Hyejin and talking behind her back, he was the only one who became a leader and guide for her. He pointed out her mistake and encouraged her to do better, be more sincere to others.