#i dont even feel like me anymore
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I'm just totally gonna go delete old asks/drafts, make aesthetics whilst totally not wanting to rip my hair out.
#// ooc#idk i need to do something good#hence the more focus on here as of late to do things#bc my life is hitting the max on the stress and i legit cannot do anything abt it#i just need fun ok#so#rps and aesthetics and movie binging#because its been fucking hell week and its been fckin fantastic seeing friends true colors#is2g i need to just give up on things/people bc im at my wits end with life rn#i dont even feel like me anymore#to be deleted later
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this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?
#my art#ok to rb#christopher moltisanti#when that wizard cursed me and i felt indebted to his soul#sketchbook tour#sopranos#sopranos fanart#christopher your violent delights will undoubtedly have violent ends (are they even your delights to begin with?)#these are like 6 mo old now. at least the first two#i could prob make these look better if i edited them for longer but i cant be fucked. only uploading these now bc i figured if its been 6#months i probably wont ever go scan these with the heavy duty 800 dpi scanner. this works good enough#i dont really draw like this anymore it got really exhausting#i miss watching sopranos so bad i felt like i was feasting on it for days every time i watched an episode. took so long for me to watch#bc anything that makes me feel that high couldnt be good for me. had to space the episodes out by a few days
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yknow what i honestly never realized that bill canonically called ford 'fordsy' though like i kept reading that in fics and being like. yeah i can see him saying that but idk why everyone latched onto that-
but no i went and watched some clips from the show to remember how bill sounds and when he said fordsy it was a fucking jumpscare. WHY DID ANYONE EVER THINK THESE MEN WERENT GAY AS FUCK?
#i literally watched this show in the summer and it feels like i didnt at all. maybe i *should* rewatch it. or at least part of it#and if i do then itll be in a post book of bill (for me) world. weird!#gravity falls#bill cipher#ford pines#billford#shrug!#HOW DID I NOT REMEMBER HIM CALLING HIM THAT THOUGH. LIKE??? HOW DID I NOT NOTICE#i guess there was so much more happening i dont even know anymore
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lizzie design but i did it before the second episode and am now wanting to add parrot attributes
#my art#ldshadowlady fanart#lizzie ldshadowlady#wild life smp#wild life fanart#trafficblr#i truly just dont know what im doing with my style anymore#I think its the eyes. i dont have a specific way i draw them so i just kind of do it differently every time#and since the eyes are such a focal point it makes the entire thing feel very different even though i draw everything else-#-the same way i always do#im in that mood that makes youwant to punt your artstyle into oblivion#i want it to be weirderrrr. more stylized and expressive. get funky with shapes and colors.#it just feels so boring to me right now#its such a problem i just cant stick with a style. i love everything but nothing feels like its really mine you know#uuueueueugh
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thinking about twink maverick and wondering how people think he’s a twink. genuinely. I look at these images and see, while yes a short man, a man who is also muscular and probably weighs a ton in pure muscle
If he’s a twink then everyone in that movie is a twink. and i dont think that’s correct.
According to wikipedia, this is what they say twinks are:
So let’s break this down.
1. Late teens to twenties
Sure. Maverick is in his twenties. But only looking at age would technically make me a twink so whatever. Let’s move on.
2. Slim to average physique
Maverick does not have an average physique. That man is built. He is in peak physical condition. He doesnt just sometimes work out, he is actively working out. Look at his arms! His trapezius! Those muscles are clearly developed and strong! In certain uniforms, his waist appears smaller, but that’s what the flight suit does to all silhouettes. Maverick is built like a brick, yes with hips, but he’s not little. He’s short of course, but he’s not small. He’s not lithe, he is muscular, he is BUILT! Look at the left bottom picture. Look at how rectangular. Look at how NOT lithe he is. Look at how not skinny he is. Like come on now.
3. Youthful/feminine appearance
While he is extremely youthful looking as Tom Cruise always appears, i disagree that tom cruise/maverick in Top Gun looks feminine. But that’s not to say that tom cruise has never appeared feminine or twink-like in any way. Legend (1985) is an example of his twink and feminine abilities. But for maverick i would argue that he looks very masculine. Boyish, which some argue is another visual feature for twinks, but not feminine (in my humble opinion).
4. Little to no body hair
To think that maverick has no body hair is just maverick unibrow erasure and i wont stand for it. But seriously. While tom cruise was waxed and oiled up for top gun, this is also happy trail erasure. I will now provide proof.
One of them is from mission impossible but um idc. It’s proof that Maverick HAS body hair, both around his chest and in … lower areas… but Maverick is not hairless enough to be a twink, especially because he doesnt fall into the other necessary categories to excuse/ignore his body hair.
5. (Kind of a half point because not all definitions and understandings of the word twink align with this) but it seems a lot of modern connotations of the word twink are parallel to exclusively bottoming
See here the most popular definition of the word twink on urban dictionary. I dont think that Maverick exclusively bottoms. Maverick FUCKS too. Like it’s not just Ice doing the fucking. Like Mav fucks. He fucks, guys you dont understand he fucks.
Therefore, Maverick, in my opinion, is not a twink. He is Maverick. The end.
#coming out of hibernation to argue that maverick isnt a twink#this isnt anything against twinks like im not anti twink and just pro lets use these slang terms semi correctly#dont ask me about my thoughts about the term twunk#it’s complex feelings#also i dont touch on flamboyancey because what the fuck does that even mean anymore#nothing means anything and everything means nothing#top gun#top gun 1986#maverick#pete maverick mitchell#stopthatfool debates the meanings and labels of gay slang terms and whether they apply to fictional characters#aka stopthatfool goes fucking crazy and dies#stopthatfool goes crazy and explodes#icemav#because they both fuck#tom iceman kazansky#iceman
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#house md#gregory house#james wilson#screencap#s07e01 “Now What?”#one of the thing that bothered me about canon huddy#is it feels too close to the unrealness of s5 finale#just huddy becoming canon does not feel like it would be enough to offset all the issues house had building up in s6 finale#hes not even a bit bitter about wilson throwing him out anymore and it certainly wasn't just a cover for huddy#left unresolved#last patient's death unresolved (you can say it delayed if youre a pedant)#the overall stress from that wrecked building - unresolved#all this skipped overnight#even more of a rocky start to this relationship would be better#cuddy too#this is so ooc for both of them#like their characters got reset#i do wonder how proper huddy would look like in canon#like it wouldnt work long term either#but in s7 it just went too smooth#what does cuddy even gets out of it besides the initial thrill?#she is a freak and workaholic in a completely different way to house#literal mother#and an authoruty figure#they would clash so bad so fast it would be glorious#maybe it would be better if she didnt make it and house was already back on vicodin in the bathroom#also would give deniability to ooc moments#dont mind me *watching perfect house md in my brain*
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#don't wanna take those spam requests anymore. please dont send them to me.#it feels weirdly manufactured and hollow tiktok trend to me and its not my vibe#preferably just ask me about/to draw my wife please and thanks#if i find out another thing i draw for is just a part of another spam trend i'm going to delete it. mg#not trying to be harsh here this just doesn't seem right for some reason and my personal ask.#its not like im going around spamming everyone to draw myriad yk? even if i'd love to see more art of her#no real tags just late night ramblings.
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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i'm posting these mediocre sketches before school kicks my ass again
#camp camp#camp camp fanart#cc preston#god im so pissed my computer never lasts long enoug for me to finish at least ONE drawing#and i dont even have time to go fix it because of exams#cc nikki#cc nurf#AAND i cant download episodes anymore so now i feel like a huge failure#cc gwen#save me cc episode 3 season 5#cc neil#cc ered#my art#i think preston and nikki would bond over nikki's new found femininity#since they most likely didn't get along very well before because of their differences#nikki could teach him how to fight idk#this episode validated my trans ered headcanon and my camp counselor ered headcanon#tough being right all the time#i really like that ered and nurf are both trying to become better people#i know they wont treat nurf's quote on quote growth seriously but im so happy to see so much focus on ered#i genuinly never thought this would ever happen im over the moon#ered<3333
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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Zenos viator Galvus and him trying to deal with actually feeling things for once (Even if he doesn't really understand how to handle the comfort he receives from others for it)
I am also giving this man a dad that actually cares, because this brainworm have gotten me and there is no saving me from them.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#durante#zero#local man learns how to feel again... and is regretting it immensely-#as his old habits of “ignore” or “shut down” dont work that well anymore#because#at least from what I've personally looked into#unironically zenos' method of reaper contract was the smartest way to go about- he wouldnt have had the context that they used to be people#but I also write Zenos with the thought that he would abhor becoming anything like Varis-#and I dont think he'd like being directly responsible for turning another person into a weapon or a tool like how he was- intentional or no#and I think its just a neat point of tension between adventurer zenos and zero#and it just ends feeding into what I write one of his main hurdles being#his resignation that he may never change- or that he isnt worth compassion because of the circumstances he grew up in#and him being so ready to take blame and resign the possibility of apologizing because (given context) i dont doubt#that Varis had constantly blamed him for Carosa's death#and it also just gives me a bit of reasoning why him being called a monster (specifically thinking of the scene with Krile) sets him off#I also just like the idea of Durante taking him in as a hesitant mentor and accidently bonding with him- even beyond the theories I have#(and this is totally me being biased because I ADORE durante as a character)#but I think helping Zenos and the way Zenos and Wol would later interact with each other would give him a measure of peace#of being able to guide someone and be there for someone like it seemed golbez was for him#I also think zenos deserves at least one warm fatherly hug#and who better than the strange old ass voidsent who could honestly probably rotate him any moment his guard is down
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So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…
Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”
Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.
I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔
i fuck with this, not gonna lie
the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone
now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo
yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol
u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]
asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO
asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"(//︶^︶)typa deal--so thats why i say that
and then maybe beel and belphie
beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad
belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it
i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that
while levi is... levi
hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...
and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d
#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me x reader#not taggin all those brothers im sorry lol#i like playing guess how that character will react#especially with characters i dont know very well lol#okay that was fun#thanks for the ask!!#its nice getting surprise messages :]#idk even how to tag this!!#like gruesome or something??#tw body horror#tw gore#maybe??#ACTUALLY#i wanted to say#remember when the threat of demons eating mc were constantly brought up in the beginning of the game lmao#that feels like a whole other world now#i wonder if the boys still get urges to eat mc sometimes tho#cause i was reading a novel with a demon ml and he fell for the mc#and he has demonic urges sometimes that he has to control#and actually a different demon in the past was infatuated with him and wanted to eat him because of it#so that was normal down in hell#like that would be considered love#fortunately for mc the ml isnt full demon anymore so i think it helps muddle those eating urges a lot#but hes yandere tho cause his version of love is still very intense and strange by human standards#i need to finish this story btw
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does anyone here even know how inaccessible the dca fandom is to people who dont like self inserts? lol
like there's already so many tags just for the dca's name, but then you combine that with the multiple different ways to tag self inserts? it's nearly impossible to filter out all of it without missing something. the only reliable way to do it is to either block the character tags or to block everyone who posts self inserts (which is like 80% of the people who post in the tags btw)
and even if you DO finally filter out all of it... if you post any sort of dca content you will inevitably still get comments from self shippers in your notes
obligatory disclaimer that this isn't me hating on self inserts btw. but as someone who spent so long feeling completely isolated from this community due to how much it caters towards self insert content? it kinda sucks. like a lot
#my post#hater moment#<- maybe? idk. it feels like an unpopular opinion#im not rlly even in this specific fandom anymore so like. you dont need to take me seriously anyway#dont let me ruin your fun. bleh#something i've also noticed is the large amount of mischaracterization in this type of content too but if i say that someone will shoot me#edit: turned rbs off. i think i saw someone talking about this post and i dont want it spreading out anymore
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im watching a (slow) streamer play thorugh elden rings DLC and have barely seen anything more but ... i have seen some vague hints on twitter that theres something up with radahns lore and now im WORRIED/FEAR TM
hes my fav and thought that the lore in the base game was all he would get and i was honestly fine with that (heyo another unpopular(?) one to add to my list of favs lol) and was just happy he was mentioned by name bc that one lady NPC at the start-- BUT NOW??? i dont even know if its true but .............
im not gonna say anything more dw, ... i dont even know more anyway, but feel free to tell me bc the not knowing and then see it get discovered on stream might be worse than any spoiler could be (i dont even care about that much anymore)
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring spoilers#??#it seems like something was made weird#BUT I DONT KNOW IF ITS TRUE OR WHAT#i dont wanna google it either bc while not caring much about spoilers ... knowing every boss would be kinda meh#... how would i even google it#pls dont tell me they ruined yet another one of my favs#... i only have so few but somehow always manage to pick the ones know one remembers or that get ruined by later added lore#like im sorry but i love sooga/supa alot and still do but the added lore thing with koga made me feel weird about the ship#and know im having trouble enjoying it anymore#as one example ... though a tame one#someone ease my mind#cant stop thinking about it
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GUESS WHO JUST TURNED A YEAR OLDER TODAY :P
#my art#bunsona#spookysona#tis me#im the birthday bby#yeeeee#even tho i certainly dont feel like im in my 20s#but i also dont feel like a teen anymore#so im just in this neutral existing stage#an enigma if you will#//jazz hands
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would you like to talk about how bad the mha ending was hella
as much as i would love to give like. a comprehensive response i genuinely dont think i can get my words together just yet without it being a constant unintelligble stream of 'AND ANOTHER THING-' and bc it's become quite torn in the fandom on if the chapter was good or bad i want like. an actual coherent response here. so i will reblog this if/when i can word it but know IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY
#paragraphs and paragraphs about the villains' endings alone. hawks hpsc president. midoriya's ending#the fact hero society is barely changed and the changes that do happen feel very much TELLING the reader it happened#as opposed to actually showing us how society changed on it. this is smthn ik people will argue w me about#bc yes it was a 400+ chapter manga arguably showing us how society changed but like. did it actually show that#like do u honestly think any community would watch televised battles between TEENAGERS and bad guys#and have the majority of them go 'gah! i cant help but sympathise with the bad guy who just suckerpunched child extra no.28!'#so like. why are they all suddenly on board with massive systemic reinvention. where's the rage where's the bitterness#this wasn't a story on showing the villains as redeemable and working towards society sympathising with them#and slowly painfully coming to a conclusion where japan was ready to change as a COLLECTIVE#this was a story of showing a group of redeemable villains (first step CHECK) getting DEFEATED IN BATTLE#THEY ALL FUCKING DIED EXCEPT SPINNER AND PRESUMABLY COMPRESS#WE DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DABI AT THE END ONLY THAT HE WAS PUT IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION#HE WAS IN WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM HIS COMA AND DABI WAS BORN. 'DABI' AS A PERSONA MEANT NOTHING#we still have an abuser who didn't come to justice. we still have the corrupt government body now being led by the guy they trafficked#and abused and conditioned into the perfect soldier. do u think maybe his opinions are a little biased in regards to that gov. body#maybe. perhaps. slightly. and we still have hero charts!!!!!! every kid in the last chap is still obsessed w becoming a hero!!!!#and dont get me STARTEDDDDDDDDD on midoriya being a teacher. 'i think it's cute he finally gets a life of peace 🥺#this way he can help the next generation directly 🥺' womp to the fucking womp he was supposed to be the world's no.1 hero#he barely sees his friends anymore. 'it's realistic to adulthood!' i dont want realism in my superpowered teen and up manga#put them in the avengers mansion NOW#so as you can see i waffled regardless of saying i specifically wasn't gonna do that and some of these points bother me more than others#with some being personal I Didn't Like It and some being i genuinely truly believe it to be bad writing#but my summary is mha ultimately felt like a story where a group of individuals unlearned (eh) the beliefs of a toxic society#and tried to save the people that society failed and then they themselves DID NOT FUCKING SAVE THEM#(i have a hit on the redemption via death trope on the dark web for ten bajillion pounds)#and while yeah that isn't objectively an evil story to tell i think 1) it was done poorly#and 2) isn't what a lot of people believed the premise to be nor what i think horikoshi himself was trying to write#ask#mha spoilers#mha
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