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solsticelosthermind · 3 months ago

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@spliqi, I believe you requested a tag— Sol vs Beast v4: fight

Except v4 already wins because the cover is dazai looking like THAT (im weak dont judge me. But also the use of cool blues instead of the soft purples we've gotten for Everyone else makes me want to yell he's fully separated himself from the narrative it's fine. I'm not overthinking. The cover.) and more importantly CANON AKUTAGAWA LOOKING LSKJGOIHEG oh my god. Sweet? Content? Borderline happier than we literally ever see him. He must be looking at Gin or Atsushi like. For real. I am. WEAK. AND THEN I OPEN THE FUCKING COVER AND

The problem with taking breaks to process is I've stepped down from some of the sheer crazy and holy FUCK does that opening image make me want to Spider-Man crawl out a window to fight gravity

the blood smear under his thumb on the watch face makes a heart. I feel like I need to talk a walk around the neighborhood already it's literally one page THERE IS A HEART under his THUMB made out of the blood of the director that he just killed because ptsd made him all reaction and zero thoughts.

There are 238 pages in this. It took me over six hours to make it through v3 with. Less pages. I'm either going to spend a week just on this one volume or im going to smash through it too fast and forget to scream and then my brain's going to boil right out my ears

Do you know I zoomed in on that heart so fast I missed the spread for the chapter cover and now I'm screaming again because they MATCH now. They match. They're back to back, the shading between them is identical, they're both red; highlights, their eyes, the actual blood and the blood red moon, they're facing the reader TOGETHER and they're SHARING WINGS of the same COLOR now im!!! The bags under their eyes are gone? Less? They're both determined as hell, the swiping at his mouth is entirely unfair and akutagawa should knock it off. I wrote knot. I think that's indicative of what kind of beast fic I've been reading whoops. Anyway. The. Everything. Is very yes. I'm rambling so i dont turn the page again but also fucking hell why are they so pretty who allowed this

WAIT THE TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE im going to eat this I think. They're?? Soft?? But also watching each other's backs. Aku's coat is spread out on both sides of atsushi like he's protecting him. The MOON IS GREEN AND SOFT like new grass1!!! The orange-y highlights instead of the harsh reddddd and the implied rainnnnn. Im taking this as new beginnings and no one can stop me I don't even care this is the aftercare. Before care? Promise? That the fucking crying Im about to do might have a. The way i just stopped and yelled into my hands because i want to write "will have a purpose" and either the brainrot is so much worse than I thought or I really do need to kick dazai down the stairs moVING ON—

…the middle kid is laughing at me apparently I got a little too loud about the watch and now I'm being gently bullied about my obsessions again except he can't say shit its his FAULT I'm even IN HERE. How dare he show me bsd and then move onto other things, rude as hell

do you think atsushi's hair feels like fur. Thick and soft and fluffy. I think Aku should be able to find out that but nooo we're gonna have aku find out what his ribs look like or something instead.

They have an empty well and no food but I'm supposed to believe some guy who would easily hammer a nail into a kids' foot went out and bought some fancy ass fucking watch??? "Was he going to hug me," Atsushi you're already in the guilt spiral of all time but I AM SHAKING YOU OUT OF IT DO NOT. This is wild. The director is a whole new level of not right in the head. Someone point out to the tiger that he's saved all the kids this guys been beating half to death by actually being him fully to death. "Like a father hugs his son," atsushi. Im holding you so gently. Fucking no.

Yoooo shibusawa still shows up and makes things even more awful of course he does. But also. Atsushi what are you rationalizing right now. What you do MEAN the director was keeping it from you to protect you from the military police. (The idea of hanging him is. Im so sorry that's so funny. Absolutely would not have worked. Not important.) you were doing tiger things BEFORE you killed the guy they let EXPERIMENT on you for pity's sake. They'd been keeping it from you the whole time! They let him hurt you to the point you reacted in self defenseseeeeeee i hate how this is such a well done representation of how folks internalize abuse and justify it. If you ignore the whole. Magic tiger murder.

There is no way in hell all of those kids would've kept quiet though. Threatened or hurt or not, kids just. Say things sometimes.

"He knew I couldn't handle it, so he protected me," by locking me up and hurting me to the point I developed brain problems while also leaving me to hurt all the other kids. Right sure. Also how is this guy getting the tiger in the cage. Why did the tiger not eat him esp if the tiger is very much animal instinct.

"This is the face of evil, one who uses violence to abuse the weak!" Sigh. Sure, my guy, we'll go with " im doing it for your own good," except for how hurting the tiger probably made everything worse all the time and how you THREW HIM OUT and also doesn't explain the part where you were also being the shit out of everyone ELSE so like. Hard pass on this thanks. "How much of his heart he sacrificed." What heart. "the world is out to get you so Im just preparing you for it," right, sure. I've studied too much child-based development/psych for this to settle well.

I know what they're trying to do; it's the same as all the other characters but it just rings so hollow for me here honestly.

Atsushi's breaking my heart though. And to slam right back to AKutagawa reading him straight to filth—well. He'd know about guilt, wouldn't he. Even if they're both misplaced.

RAGDOLL AKUTAGAWA. Atsushi's beating the shit out of him with the same intensity as he had the director. How are you not dead, love. Why are you letting him. What fuckery are you up to.

Oh. Oh fuck that's a whole arm neeeevermindddddd atsushi's so used to pain it barely fucking registered oh my god. The HAND aku shapes like a gun im!! Rashomon is so much fun in every verse why is it always so pretty honestly

Two thin panels atop each other and it's just their eyes, wide and dark. Gonna crrryyy.

Again, rashomon's just pretty.but what the fuck do you mean you slit OPEN YOUR SKIN and then absorbed the blows via space im!! AKUTAGAWA WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU PICK THAT ONE UP EVEN WHAT THE HELL WAS HAPPENING IN THE SLUMS HOLY SHIT

Oda feed him more his hipbones are so sharp they're going to slice through his belt. They're so fucking insane what you do mean he's casually got atsushi crucified and is using Rashomon's tendrils like A DRILL to screwdrive his ass to the WALL and also sympathizing about the crushing weight of guilt

"I get it but you're stopping me from finding gin, and I won't regret again," and i am crying

STOP IT NII SAN

I had to smother myself for a second there. Are you telling me. Dazai set this whole things up specially to get these two to fight AND ALSO PUT GIN IN A POSITION TO JUST FUCKING WATCH??? AND gins going to side with dazai. I want an entire novel from gin's pov so I can understand literally anything she does ever in this verse girl dont do it

THE WAY AKU IMMEDIATELY screams for her!! His bug eyed frantic face on the monitor!! He's so fucking desperate!! SHE HAS BEEN WATCHING THIS THE WHOLE TIME WHAT THE FUCK

She tells him to leave. I take back everything gin's the most confusion one here to me lmao how did you go from trying to keep him with you with every ounce of yourself to believing whatever dazai said in like one night. You've had 4.5 years of dazai in your ears so this isn't unexpected i guess. But also. Why does dazai need akutagawa and gin like this.

This is mean to gin too dazai you fuck

I CAME IN MYSELF she says. TERRIBLY LONELY MAN??? Oh my god gin I'm going to throw you out another window. WHAT. The fUCk. How old even are you the 4.5 years thing is throwing me all the way off. Whatever. Turning gin against him is. Girl WHAT. "You shouldn't have anyone important in your life." Wow kay that's an unhinged thing to say to anyone ever.

No i can't take this seriously anymore. "Your violence isn't like the mafia's, we have like spreadsheets," gin sit down. Intent and rationality? I'm wheezing. Awful lot of intent, yeah, but the rationale is boiling down to 'how to ensure Atsushi and akutagawa are as fucked up as possible.' "You drag those you love into it, destroying everything." I NEED RECEIPTS GIN. Because the ones I have go like, "protects kid," "protects kid," "watches all the kids be brutally murdered," "puts down the murderers" literally what the fuck gin this right here is the only time he's actively started shit and even then it was fully provoked using YOU AS A MOTIVATOR im. Nah. Gin's living in a very different reality

Gin: you're evil (and somehow the mafia isn't???)

Akutagawa: nearly bursts into tears. Fully believes it immediately. Remembers all the dead kids and somehow this is his fault for existing despite the diamond/gang of it all. Full reversal of kenji's speech.

I don't understand, he says. Fuck, me either.

"What must I do to get you back." Im gonna do a lap around the house. The fucking agony pouring out of him.

Oh. There it is. Right. So she's just spouting things she's probably heard over the years but the core of it is: you love so much you're willing to die for it, for THEM, and I can't handle the thought of you being dead. Being without you while you live is better than being without you because you're dead.

It's very childish logic, and rooted fully in that moment where AKutagawa left her in the street. I hate that this makes sense now and it's more of the same so I should have seen this already: Dazai making use of the awful things they've lived through and the way there's never ever a choice in those moments that doesn't hurt someone.

He loved those kids so much he was willing to die for it. She loves him so much she's staying away to keep him from doing it again.

They're so fucking young.

The shock on his face. The hurt. The way Atsushi takes advantage and tries to kill him with his actual teeth. While Gin continues to watch. I'm tired. The fact this whole plot so far hinges on how damaged and short sighted everyone is is like, frustrating but also unfortunately uhhh probably the most realisitic part of the whole thing is like. Ajsdgashfg fuck

Christ back to dazai who's such a mess already. He's used "odasaku" like four times in a minute. OH ITS ODA POV??? I thought it was dazai pov ooooh that's funnnn but uh dazai did you like kill the barkeep for this

"The empty seat beside us," the way I had to be like does he mean ango or cat-man—

'Dispose of an unexplored bomb,' im squinting at you

Oda's trying to figure him out so hard and Im over here vibrating bc this dazai image is just of a deeply fucked up kid screaming love me with his entire face honestly. Oh this whole conversation is just sad. He's so desperate and fucking deranged and he's playing pretend so hard right now. Using oda's nickname every .2 seconds.

You know, dazai, you had people who loved you that weren't Oda, and you made good and sure to get them all fucked up and directed it at you—just for oda. So like. Have fun with that. You never got to have any of them in this world you made.

Dazai trying to reassure him and coax him into writing and oda's like, that's sweet but meaningless bc I dont know you.

Beast is just an endless matryoshka doll of fucking ow, huh.

The way I didn't clock the sharp edges of the speech bubble fast enough and fully thought dazai was the one saying "one of my men is in trouble," about AKUTAGAWA and nearly had a fucking STROKE

Oda how did you know????? To find him there if he's never been. Did he leave you a letter too. Is there more to the gin-letter. ODA PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN AKUTAGAWA AND THE BULLETS IM GONNA CRY

"Has a good guy looking out for him," and the little, "what?" Deep breath. He's idolized oda so fucking hard for so fucking long and never actually HAD oda in his life. Meanwhile oda's like. Im a what now

Dazai your everything is so unsettling. "He'll be fine! So long as he's not dead!" Hitting you with a rolled up newspaper and also this shoe. AKU SITTING SO PRETTY WITH KENJI THOUGH

But seriously fuck OFF 'he'll be fine," you're giving him another fifty lives' worth of issues in one afternoon hes going to be WORSE you BITCH Just not actively hunted!! Maybe. You're gonna be dead though so like who knows

This is the funniest way this could have been done what do you mean he's here having not-a-drink with his not-bestie while his adopted idiots murder all of his henchmen and fuck gin and kyouka up into the next millennia and also try to kill each other. He's? NOTEVEN THERE imalksdjfalsgh

"Why did you lure him there." So you noticed. "Lucky guess." Im howling what about this was subtle dazai????

Oda pulls a gun on him like a RATIONAL fucking person (no. Im not letting this go) and dazai looks like hes gonna burst into tears. I am having shrimp emotions. I want to laugh but also i want to cry and i also want to fight everyone plus whatever gods are left what the FUCK is this

"Put the gun away," he says emotionally because he just wanted one conversation where he could pretend and oda is too RATIONAL for that and explains why he can't do that, and also how his violence! Is! Purposeful! And! Dazai literally modeled his whole everything off of oda and im only now catching it fuck me i guess but it blows up in his face so hard right here. Who's the emotional animal now, you brat. "ITS TRUE," he pleads. He looks like a child and sounds like a child and oda's focused on getting HIS KID safe.

Beast really just made me into an oda simp i think

I've misspelled because so many times my auto correct thinks that's just how its spelled now goddamnit this is what happens when I have too many thoughts

Ohhhh the freaking flash to the hit on Oda's kids, i am WRECKED. He was so close to saving them and his face—going straight into Dazai's equally distraught face when oda won't LISTEN—

Except imma say the same thing now i did when I first saw that and it's the same thing I said for gin: why didn't you go with him then. If you couldn't make him stop, why not go WITH him. Which doesn't make sense when I'm talking about an already-wounded and normal girl of like 12-14 years but dazai's armed, trained, and y'know, good at it.

(Ultimately he would've been a liability and oda wouldn't have let him, ultimately his going along would not have helped because his skill can't match seeing the future and he's not actually impervious to bullets, ultimately it wouldn't have mattered, but he wouldn't have been alone— vs how he DID actually try to go alone but he tried to do it Smart, but using his Resources and Connections and Backup and Mori stopped him, so he went alone anyway. And it didn't matter. He did his best, he loved with his whole heart, and it didn't save him. Oh wait, that's literally this whole fucking au isn't it.)

Dazai's face in the flashback with his bandages ripped off. Wow. That hurts more than I thought it would honestly. The two drinks, one untouched. "Don't call me odasaku, my enemies have no right,"

Because even if they were friends in another life, they live in this one, and in this one dazai's hurting his kid over and over.

God the way dazai is falling apart here. None of this is going to plan. He's literally fidgeting with his hands between his legs. Sigh. Fine his turn: he's so young. Vulnerable. Emotional.

'Forced' into taking over after mori? HA HE WAS PISSING PEOPLE OFF ON PURPOSE to grow the mafia

"All of it for this world's—" and he stops, and it's just Oda. Because he'll say it's for this world's survival, but he's full of shit. It was for Oda.

Christ the photo of the lupin trio hits like a truck but those are not HIS oda and ango. He's never had oda or ango or anyone. He's always been alone. he's never smiled like that. "Please dont shoot me here in the one place I had good memories that aren't even mine." Wow okay I'm bleeding i think

What do you mean I'm not even 100 pages in yet what the hell

One last odasaku. Insert nodding while pretending im fine gif

TIGER. Oh fuck they're outside whoops. Hey hey hey i know time has no real meaning and all but how much time are you wasting when kyouka only had an hour and you need his voice atsushi maybe dont flatten him. Wait fuck aku's falling isn't that how dazai dies later??? SQUINTING SUSPICIOUSLY. You'd be dead before you hit the ground that's too high

Panel of aku with his back arched and leg spread is a choice

HE MAKES A FUCKING SPIDERWEB AROUND ATSUSHI??? THEYRE FALLING AGAIN Oh my god the rapid fire thoughts on how to get out of this without dying because it's the only thing gin asked of him and he can't figure out how and she's gonna be upset and his eyes are white and OKAY HOW DARE ACTUALLY

Is chapter-header-oda wrapped up in dazai's bandages or rashomon. Depends on the day

LIKE HELL he says. Oooooh fuck okay im yellING. The one character who's never given a shit about dying REFUSING because GIN— i am going to melt into a puddle onto the floor what is this montage of people telling him he's awful actually fuck off

HES .2 SECONDS AWAY FROM GOING OKAY I GUESS ILL DIE THEN BECAUSE WHY NOT AND THEN K E N J I KENJI KENJI KENJIJIIIII

This is hysterical. That's one way for akutagawa to figure out who no one wants to piss kenji off. Having his yeet several hundred pounds of steel at him from like two miles away oh my GOD thats so many spikes holy Christ atsushi

How did kenji get up there. Why did you know these two idiots were going to throw themselves out a window. Why is it always a window.

He fucking Spider-Man swings away. My favorite fucking cryptid honestly

IF THE TIGER KEEPS FALLING he says while RaSHOMON WALKING UP THE WALL. WILD set of events. "Time to extract gin," okay my man look at me your sister is a mess i dont think kidnapping her to the ada is going ot HELP that any

He looks down and atsushi's just fucking HANGING OFF. How did you NOT NOTICE. How long as he BEEN THERE. ATSUSHI WERE YOU JUST GOING TO WAIT FOR HIM TO BRING YOU TO THE TOP IM WHEEZING

"I wont let you escape, not YOU" continues to be wild to me that the literal actual mafia is treating this guy like he's the worst thing to ever exist you are the MAFIA. Real "I'm the only one allowed to be mean" energy ngl

The SPIKES are killing me there are so many ATSUSHIS FACE god his whole speech about how much he hates pain at the beginning im laksgja;sufhg

"I have to keep my promise to the director," atsushi. Well. Now im weeping. The SKULL behind the speech bubble that says, "this is the white reaper," SHRIMP EMOTIONS

Do I have any of that. I want to save my sister, a just and strong motive. Crying. Also fuck he's gorgeous. Right beneath one of the most inhumanly drawn atsushi's to date no less.

LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO BE RATIONAL

He asks?? He ASKS ATSUSHI WHAT HES SUPPOSED TO DO??? HE ASKED IM SCREAMING

Rashomon-as-canine-again. 'Heartless dog gained emotion four years ago' uhhhh i don't. I dont think that's what happened kiddo. If you didn't have emotion beforehand you wouldn't have given a shit about the kids but yknow whatever, everything aku does is wrong I guess. I HAD AN EMOTION ONE TIME AND IT RUINED MY WHOLE LIFE. Clawing at my face. Fuck OFF

Anyway look at my babies murdering each other and somehow running at each other on the side of a building like gravity's for losers aren't they neat and not at all giving me heart palpitations. Aku's trying so fucking hard to THINK and use his strategic skillsssss and look at how it loops him right back into HE HAS TO GET TOO FUCKING CLOSE

Endless loop turns again

The way I just had to squint at that big black block of rashomon teeth to realize i was staring at two disembodied arms— 'it's over,' he says with no real sense of victory only relief at the end, except atsushi's still in there fucking yowling

Rock and a hard place indeed except it's what's stronger: your ptsd or mine

TINY BABY KYOUKA CHAPTER HEADER TIN BABY KYOUKAAA

The fucking muscle definition on atsushi is insane. Im ignoring how berserk he is right now its fine shh i take that back that is a fucking fang the size of his forearm he's got in there holy shit

Akutagawa is getting the shit kicked out of him why are we lovingly highlighting his insane eyelashes. Please never stop

Wow they're both so messed up. Atsushi's screaming like a banshee, he's fully lost the plot honestly, and Akutagawa looks like he's hold onto consciousness through sheer willpower and the force of fuck you

How. How is he using rashomon to rain razor blades. How in the hell does that even work. Ohmy god he got him in the EYE. And we're on the roof. I feel like I've been running for hours. HIS COAT LOOKS LIKE RASHOMON all black and ragged and flutteringgggg

Akutagawa giving himself higher ground with this levitation maneuver again

BEAUTIFUL panel with atsushi's eye having regenerated honestly. And below it where the white of his collar makes it look like his head is floating in space because it IS honestly he's not grounded here. "Monster," he says scornfully as akutagawa uses rashomon like legs. Siiiiiigh if hes a monster then so are you and truthfully neither of you are but im assuming you'll figure that one out later yall a little busy atm

Atsushi screaming and hitting the spatial distortion shield. Akutagawa's bleeding from fucking everywhere. His eyes are mostly closed and his face is so sad in this weirdly detatched way he looks like he's crying blood. Yall if this bastard is out cold and rashomon's at the helm im going to scream is he unconscious or has he just managed to put all of those crazy emotions down for two seconds

HE IS FUCKING OUT COLD???? "You'd even go that far!! I'm gonna end it!!" Babe you've been trying this whole time. Im ?!?!? Insane

YOU HAVE TO CLIMB ON TOP OF HIM TO FINISH KILLING HIM? "It's over," ECHOES upon echoes im HOWLING

Wait! KUNIKIDA????DID KENJI GIVE HIM A PAPER? IS ONE OF THEM RIGHT HTERE LSKJDFOWGH KUNI????

No kunikida's with kenji watching through binoculars jesus CHRIST that was MEAN

Nothing like watching atsushi settle himself on top of akutagawa for reasons??? Lmao???

Oh my god. Oh my GOD. Okay. So this has been the exact same suicide run it started as this whole fuckng time. Okay. Im. Taking a minute maybe

'There is no pain, there is no suffering,' and ch122's whole 'I felt no pain,' and this boy's been under so many layers of disassociation i need new words

'One was the man in black and the other is…' and you turn the page only to be met with the most beautiful illustration of akutagawa himself, looking right at you. Punch to the fucking everything. This is also the one time this ENTIRE manga he's ever used his first name. Screaming into my HANDS

He's kneeling over himself; the wisps at the edge of his coat vs the bare toes. Spirit over body. The GUILT here. The judgment. The fact he never intended to make it out alive in the first place. Insane. "I was/am a damaged kid so that means I deserve to die," im not even going to examin that one Im just collecting several boxes of tissues and turning all the mirrors around

The insane way atsushi's drawn here. The thin white X over his face just like the child traffickers aku caught. The implication that it's akutagawa's fault dazai did this to atsushi.

I HAD NO WAY TO WIN NO ONE CAN DEFEAT THEMSELVES and its the rashomon-dog vs the tiger and I

Oh I am throwing myself into a ravine

How is death a draw akutagawa. "No one relying on me, no one to care about me," biting through my own arm he defines himself wholly by the people around him and—oh im weeping. I will finally be saved, he says, because death is a blessing now???? A way out? He says he'll be with his friends. I am WEEPING. He'll leave gin behind again because she doesn't WANT him she doesn't NEED him she says he's EVIL AND BAD AND WRONG and he's better of DEAD where he can't fuck anything else up!!! Iam not well!!

Fucking? Kunikida?? Where did the little device come from? Did he get punched so hard his phone popped out like. "GET UP" kunikida says. I like how this is so baffling even the tiger pauses. HOW DID THEY GET THERE SO FAST. Kenji's just happily beating the shit out of people. How are there any people left to beat up. Honestly. Isn't that the room gin was in. Where did she go.

IM NOT A DETECTIVE he says with blood-tears. Only for KUNIKIDA FUCKING DOPPO TO TELL HIM HE IS NOT EVIL. Because this time it's akutagawa who's not alone. I am going to pass the fuck out maybe YOURE NOT ANYTHING AT ALL YET yes yes yes thank you holy mother of everything. The images of tiny baby akutagawa. And how kunikida drops to his knees and holds him close.

Atsushi tried so hard to comfort the child inside him and couldn't. But Akutagawa didn't even know he had a child left to be comforted and Kunikida and oda and kenji and Tanizaki all caught him anyway. I am crying so fucking ugly right now

Everyone holding onto him so tightly. He's NOT ALONE. This really just drives home to me how alone canon Akutagawa really is; theres only gin and you know damn good and well he doesn't see it that way becuase his job is to take care of her

Atsushi: NO?? Sorry i lost my shit im wheezing and coughing like a loon this is like, Super Serious but that uh no??? Im dead. I kind of like how they're drawn in this next exchange of blows, Atsushi's all rounded muscle and powerful movement and akutagawa's long and lean and stretched and sharp—Turn the page and it's black-eyed tiger with a mouthful of fangs and a white-eyed Ryuunosuke also with fucking fangs. I have no idea what's happening now but the way Atsushi's face falls on one page and then cute little aku at the restaurant with oda is like giving me brain damage

Why is atsushi so pretty like this what is wrong with me

Rashomon catches the tiger's fist. "Where did you have that power?" And everything white. I need a stay at the seaside to recover from this

Earthquake.

Oh my god the collar. The collar? The COLLAR. I'mgoing ot be SICK atsushi splayed out like that. His nails are shredded. His hair looks like cat ears. He's struggling?? To regenerate??? I want to actually celebrate breaking the collar it feels like that's BIG even if it was by force and he's gonna tweak about it but like. Coat's been shredded. Aku's coat was lost, too. Aku's barely standing and he's back to being a black-eyed bat.

KILL ME and aku's like yeah sure and steps on him you are SO STUPID

The little kid drawing of superhero atsushi and all the happy kids and the proud director and what if I kill everyone in fake yokohama and then myself actually there's rashomon in the background fucking crying?? And also a happy little puppy with the kids. Atsushi. Atsushi please im already crying

Akutagawa you dick what are you UP to im wheezing. Kill me. Yea Kay. Eh, no changed my mind get your shit together maybe. WHAT in the hell. HELPING THE SUICIDAL ISNT IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION. I need a clone to handle this with me i think im losing my shit

Im going ot be so obnoxious and write this all down bc ive just been repeating it out loud but: fleeing the past and being frightened of yourself is a battle of it's own. Cough up your blood tiger. Cough it up and move on. And if after your fleeing and cowardice you fall defeated I will step over you and laugh.

What the actual flying fuck. Literally impossible to write akutagawa too dramatically i will never worry about it ever again honestly but like ALSO? Kunikida told him to get the fuck up only for him to turn right around and do the exact same thing for Atsushi.

Atsushi must be losing his entire mind right now honestly THEE most insane day of his life wait no i forgot about dazai. Who is. Clapping??? And walking up where did You COme FROM now it's the most insane day actually. Who does this. Clap clap! Good job boys! Congrats! You blew up half the city im so proud of you look at what you did with all your customized trauma patterns!! DAZAI. 'As the one aboard the ship' WHICH SHIP YOU FUCK but seriously DAZAI WHAT THE SHIT

Dazai's turn to be a big ol black bat i guess. The way both boys are instantly like ??? The most unhinged man. 'Did you win because of your emotions or is the ADA just better,' he says while atsushi's bug eyed and half dead at his feet. He expected atsushi to win? I mean. Okay. One of them got training and probably should have won based on that—i maybe had a fit when their first fight has aku get trounced purely bc atsushi has NO idea what hes doing tbh and raw power means nothing if you dont know how to use itBUT ITS AN ANIME WHATEVER THE POWER OF RANPO COMPELLS YOU I GUESS—but also likeeee you've entirely changed who atsushi is. And who akutagawa is. Well not ENTIRELY but substantially. I dont think it mattered who won tbh

You're fired. Sigh. Atsushi's going to internalize that. The little, okay. So. He's. Homeless now? Again? A failure all over again. Dazai i am going to skin you alive he probably thinks youre gonna kill him in a minute come ON

Proven wrong immediately by turning the page. Wait WAIT if he only killed the director a year ago—mori's only been there a year? WHERE WAS HE BEFORE. ALSO. The ORPHANAGE? Is the LIGHT? Under mori?????? Mori officially the most confusing character ever what

ATSUSHIS EYES SNAP SO WIDE he literally thought you were gonna kill him my guy not send him out to pasture to deal with all the fun nightmares you've given him

AKUTAGAWA so real right now: dude what is your PROBLEM you could've done this less insane!! He fully thought dazai was gonna attack not just walk past him. They're both staring at him like he's gone round the bend.

Oh goodie I get the mastermind speech ive been dreading thsi whole timeeeeeeeee

Oh my GOD look at all the different DAZAIS there is a long haired dazai!!!! There is a pirate dazai i am YELLING

BEAST VERSE STANDINIG AND CONNECTED TO CANON BYTHEIR FEET IM SLD:JKGJHERG INCOHERENT i love this I LOVE this actually what the fUCk

Dazai's shadow stretching to encompass akutagawa but not atsushi. Oh.

ATSUSHI CLOSING IN AND STANDING BESIDE AKUTAGAWA AS THEY LISTEN AND ASK QESTIONS IMS GLKJSFG why are they standing so close. Insane behavior. Dazai's telling them INSANE THINGS and they're instinctively?? SEEKING COMFORT?? From the guy they were just actively trying to murder lkasjdg

YES. Why take GIN WHAT

The thing beyond power when your souls intertwine. Ohhh im going to have so much fun puzzling THAT One out FOREVER

Im gonna stand by believing this was fully possible without them having to nearly kill each other tbh I think it's just the only way dazai knows it happened and thus the fail proof one bc it's already happened

Atsushi already begging him to step back. He's BEGGING HIM the second he realizes this means three of them know. Oh my god. He's going to feel like he's failed and gotten his father figure/mentor killed TWICE now.

like going back to your hometown and there's train tracks dazai where are you from

He admits so easily that this is the only world oda's alive and well. The ONLY one. And also that he doesn't actually care about the world for the worlds sake. Okay. Okay. Im fine.

Two suicidal boys watch dazai fall and fall and fall. Atsushi tries to grab him but doesn't follow even though he literally could go catch him. And aku follows ATSUSHI, stays with atsushi, and his face is all shock.

Oh my goddddd. Kenji again. My baby.

RANPO?? Oh my god thats like cold water to the face in the funniest way DAZAIS DEATH—RANPO GIGGLING. Kenji's halves speech fits neatly in the middle. Life/death. Time continues to spin. Aku using his skill for silly things and he's so proud of himself. Im gonna crrryyyy he's having super in-depth discussions about farming and shit this puts all those little scenes where Beast Aku shows up to something that wouldnt grow in canon verse into a heartbreaking light yall

FLUTTER. And he shreds them and makes snow seemingly for his own amusement since kuni's like dummy put it in the BIN lmao

Anyway. Yes. Akutagawa learning to live and enjoy life. Gonna bawl. And then we turn the page and Atushi's a mess??? SHES YELLING AT HIM FOR TRYING TO STARVE WRONG IM SDGKJSFLG WHAT

Dazai died and atsush just walked back into the woods??? Where is kyouka.

Literally how is putting him back in the orphanage healthy dazai. He's gonna see ghosts everywhere.

Dazai saved your life huh. Squints.

Mori telling him dazai wanted to take care of him but that mori thinks he wasn't right about what atsushi needs. Telling atsushi to break the watch right off the bat is a batshit move mori what game are we playing now.

Oh. Oh the way Atushi finally looks up and realizes the room is full of light and children's drawings. There's kids laughing and playing and they're happy and this is different. RULING BY FEAR IS BARBARIC MORI SAYS ON HIS KNEES IN THE LIGHT I AM WEEPING

Let me save you because I couldn't save MY boy. Oh i am never recovering.

MORI HOLDS HIM. MORI HUGS HIM. MORI PULLS HIM IN AND CALLS HIM SON AND TELLS HIM HE WANTS GOOD THINGS FOR HIM AND ATSUSHI ihave the biggest crocodile tears on my face im insane little baby atsushi gets the hug and acknowledgment akutagawa did. From a man he's only known for five minutes. A man who's showing him more care than literally anyone else ever has. I am. NEVER. Recovering.

He doesn't want to die. He wants to get better. Because Akutagawa told him to. AKUTAGAWA WHO IS WATCHING PEOPLE GO ABOUT THEIR DAY AND SWEARING TO PROTECT THEM???? IM???? SCREAMING??? 'Odd sense of heartache and bewilderment' oh my god he is the sweetest idiot alive

The fact that one of the images is of a BRIGHT and HAPPY ATSUSHI looking YOUNG AND FREE with a toddler on his shoulders while aku talks about doing his best even if hes not sure he can reach his goals. I am ruined. The sudden switch to we, 'even with OUR beasts and OUR regrets,' and it's over the ADA but he's got to be talking about his tiger im FERALhe IS talking about his tiger

The funny thing is i dont think ever of them were really 'gleeful' when it came to murdering people

Until the day I become human i will continue to run howling loudly. He's.he's embracing life. Yall. I can't. And overlaid the image of the two of them, a matching set, with soft eyes looking FORWARD—

Oh oh oh HIUCHI is still in this. WILD. That means? Even in this short time the mafia's gotten it's shit back together—still laughing over Chuuya just disappearing again that time your characters are too OP oops— and taken a deal from the guild to go after the guy that gutted their entire rank and file. WILD behavior honestly. How does fyodor connect aku to the book. Also if he knows about the book then there are already 3 people who know about it plus everyone else he tells soooo. Shhh i dont care nevermind i went back in and now im melting over how happily kenji's popping in next to akutagawa. KENJI ON ONE SIDE AND TANIZAKI ON THE OTHER THOSE ARE HIS BOYSSSSS

he’s decided to embrace LIVING and hope GIN WILL COME TO HIM when she works through her own issues because he can’t DO anything about it and following her wont HELP and im WEAK this was EXACTLy what i need for the bb actually fuck

And im SOBBING the next bit is atsushi crawling around LIKE A TIGER except he's giving a million kids a ride and im NEVER GETTING OVER THIS

GINKARU MEANS BITE OF THE SILVER WOLF I KNEW IT WAS A WOLF AND NOT A DOG. Ahem. Also. Dazai's shadow in the little swirl??? haunting the narrative for real

Okay. I fully understand why beast screws everyone up and why you're all sobbing but shoving it into people's hands. I still think Dazai's a bit of an idiot all around but he's the exact same idiot as Akutagawa honestly, just with a wider reach and possibly less guilt about collateral. Everyone’s a disaster, everyone’s just trying to take care of like Their One Person. Dazai strikes me as having chosen this path because try anything else was untested and therefore held a possibility for failing but yknow, I still think he’s a dummy. Just one with convictions.

Oda can’t ever ever know. That’s fun.

This was. SO much.all around. I'm glad I read it even if it made me feel like I was losing my mind the entire time and I'm glad I decided to yell about it like this bc it feels like it's settled into my brain better than it would've if I'd sped through all of it in a day. So. Thanks for coming along for the screaming. 😘 and apparently I need to scrounge some light novels at some point.

#sol reads beast #beast v4 #bsd beast #beast spoilers #Vibrating at the speed of LIGHT ngl #this was fun if i ignore all the wailing i was doing lmao

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stellar-constellations · 2 years ago

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hi !! just wanted to pop in here to request smth as well as tell you i love your writing sm !! i cant wait for part 11 of "the alliance" comes out !! there fr needs to be more yuri content in spy x family.

also, have you ever thought of crossposting your work on wattpad/ao3/quotev ? i only say since at workplaces and school tumblr is usually blocked, and when i have a bad day im always here rereading your writing.

ANYWAYS ONTO MY REQUEST ofc its gonna be yuri x reader !! it can be headcanons or an actual oneshot, whatever you want to do, but ive always wanted to see how yuri would react to birthdays, whether it be his one or y/n's.

anyways, thanks so much for reading this. even if you dont do my request, i hope you know how genuinely happy and giddy youre writing makes me and other.

Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader

This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series: An Alliance (part 1).

Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series: An Alliance (part 1)!

Series information: Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and [Y/N] are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).

Yuri doesn't exactly like celebrating his birthday, even when he was a kid he didn't care much. The only thing he really has to look forward to that day is Yor visiting him. Other than that, he sees the day as any other day. He wouldn't even celebrate if you and Yor didn't make him every year.

You and Yor would meet up the day before his birthday and bake a cake together. Afterwards, you'd both go shopping for birthday gifts.

Yuri swears he's in paradise on his birthday. You AND Yor both spending time with him, laughing and getting along with each other? That's enough of a birthday gift for him (until Loid and Anya walk through the front door).

Other than that, Yuri would rather spend the day relaxing off work. He'd be up to going for a walk or a restaurant for dinner, but he's a little simple.

"Yuri, it's your birthday, we're supposed to celebrate!" you explained.

"I know, I know. It's just... I've never really celebrated my birthday much growing up." Yuri admitted.

When his parents died at a young age, he didn't really have the time to celebrate when he was busy studying for school. Yor would at least make him a cake (it wasn't very good... or edible) before heading out for work, leaving him to his own devices for his birthday. He didn't have birthday parties because of how poor they were and he didn't make friends either for anyone to attend them.

"It is my responsibility as your wife to celebrate your birthday with you because according to this ring, I'll be with you for all your other birthdays." You spoke, showing him the silver ring with the ruby on top that he bought you.

Your words made him tear up, his face turning red as tears and snot rolled down his face.

"You're an angel!" he exclaimed, hugging you tight enough to suffocate you.

"I know, now let go before you kill me and I won't be here next year!" you gasped, hugging him back despite your words of "let go"

On your birthday, he's much more energetic and fun (he's a hypocrite).

He'd buy you your favorite flowers and cook your favorite breakfast for in bed. After breakfast he'd bake a cake from scratch using a cooking book (no, you cannot help. Go watch TV or read a book).

He'd take you somewhere that you like to go or that's of interest to you: an aquarium, zoo, park, flower garden, beach, sports game, anywhere you'd like.

He would blow his entire week's paycheck on gifts for you (he works for the state, he has the money).

"I have a reservation for that fancy restaurant that just opened up down the road." Yuri spoke, tying the tie on his suit.

"How'd you get that done? There was a waiting list before that place even opened?" you questioned, brushing out your hair.

"I have my ways." Yuri smiled.

"I hope none of those ways involved threats and bribery." You sighed, placing your hands on your hips as you looked at him.

"No, no, I would never!" he said in a high voice, obviously lying. "...Maybe a little."

"You'd go that far for me?" you questioned, holding your heart as a warm fondness stirred your chest, your heart beat raising. "You're such a sweetheart!" you cooed before kissing him on his cheek.

"Psh! It was nothing! I just wanted to do something for you since you did something for me on my birthday." He spoke, acting as if it was nothing (the blush on his cheeks and the smile on his face said otherwise).

Thank you so much for requesting! I do apologize for the request being short, I personally don't have much experience on birthdays due to growing up in a family where we don't do much for birthdays.

I'm also working on writing a request for a Christmas one shot for Yuri that will come out in the middle of December so stayed tuned for that!

At the moment, I'm also crossposting my work onto Ao3, Wattpad, and Quotev. I've finished uploading the Yuri Briar x Fem! reader: An Alliance series onto Wattpad and Ao3. My account name is "Stellar Constallation" for Wattpad and "StellarConstellations401" for Ao3.

Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar x reader masterlist!

Have any other requests? Check my official masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

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roe-and-memory · 2 years ago

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holding my hands out like a kid at a candy store asking what you think Lightning and Sally would be like at formal events. like getting invited to parties after races and such

im gonna say i saw this, i sent it to roe, and she said it was probably her favourite ask we’ve ever received but we had no real ideas BUT WE HAVE IDEAS NOW. DO NOT FRET. im so sorry it took so long for me to get to you 💔

okay so. First off. i feel like lightning is a very casual, “you’ll have to physically hold me down to get me to wear anything fancy”, kind of guy. he would rather die than wear a suit. BUT, he listens to sally, and sally likes these formal events because it means they get to dress up together and look all cutesy as a couple (he will wear a suit if its for a date so Dont Worry, but the formal events are like fighting to get a cat in water or a fish out of it.)

so, more often than not, sally is kindly asking if he’ll dress up to go to the piston cup event, and more often than not it ends with him shaking and crying in front of the bathroom mirror trying to figure out how to fucking tie a tie because no one taught him. he only cooperates if its sally wanting to go BUT he will argue.

but when he gets to these parties or events, he forgets how much he Hates what hes been forced to wear and Boy can he brighten up a room. he gets one drink into his system (obviously very rarely, i cant see him enjoying alcohol too much) and all common sense or care is Gone he will embarrass himself in front of every other person in that room. this can Also be caused by the urge to try and fit in with the rest of them and just doing it Wrong.

sally, on the other hand, takes it slow. she has half a drink throughout the entire evening and mingles with lynda or some of the other racers partners, sometimes she has to go get lightning and bring him back to the table for food or just because hes getting Visibly overwhelmed but is Not realizing it himself or Trying to poorly be calm about it.. but she also brings a life to the party. i think she likes to dance, i think she maybe isnt the best at it (but to her credit, lightning cant dance for shit either) so she’ll dance with Her friends or lightning and it may be kind of embarrassing but she doesnt really care!! she likes these events quite a lot, it gives her a chance to engage with what lightning does for work and she can make friends she can relate to (and share anxiety with regarding race days..)

lightning will either find himself with sally or with bobby and cal, both of whom usually stand around doing nothing interesting and he has to collect them to bring their trio together. they both make fun of him for having to dress up so much, bobby gets complete freedom to dress however he likes because nobody in his family is really a major part of his piston cup career (and he doesnt have a partner)((and to clarify his family 100% supports him theyre so so proud but they dont have ANY idea what exactly these events entail so they stay out of his way)) whereas cal usually has to keep up the nice appearance because of that Weathers Family Name. he doesnt mind, he likes dressing up anyways, plus after the accident he had to go to a majority of events with his aunt and uncle cause no one could watch him. so hes been Trained for this day.

anyways, i think theyre both very proud of each other and they both Very much show it, especially at these events, theyre very lovey dovey and theyre silly and and. Yeah thats all the ideas i have 😭

#cars 2006 #lightning mcqueen #cars fandom #cars headcanons #memory’s headcanons #cars 3 (2017)#sally carrera #pixar cars #bobby swift #cal weathers #i loved writing this thank u for this ask anon #lightning and sally outsell tbh #i love them so so much #i need to talk about them more #what about another fic guys #christmas fic…

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chocottang · 1 year ago

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forgot to add these in the bunch of questions from before so i hope u dont mind an ask........... and i also hope u dont find it weird that i ask this but !! do you by chance happen to have any voiceclaims for your shadows,,,, maybe?

it's something i love about character making and since originally the shadows (except fred) have the same vas as the character i was wondering if you had anything in mind for their voices (or even just a general idea of what theyd sound like) now that theyre humans and separate ppl??

(again.. hope this isnt weird !! just think voiceclaims are aewsome)

heyyy!! ofc i dont mind i love asks!! not weird at all lmao i dont have voiceclaims though :( idk, when i think of scenes i dont usually think of how the characters sound like?? if that makes sense?? i can tell you how they talk though. like, gold speaks in a very monotone tone, and very painly. no big words, nothing that makes him sound fancy. he doesnt even make a lot of gestures or…moves… when he talks. very plain. jay…picture a stereotypical mean girl. she makes way more gestures and uses modern phrases and such, and her voice is very uhm emotional? shows a lot how she feels from her voice, i guess. s.fox (im thinking abt naming him fennex or fennec, btw, like the fennex fox. i saw somewhere that it was a name but when i google it it doesnt appear anymore so im not sure lmao) im not entirely sure,, i picture him as having a deeper voce than fox, but not like super deep either. and he usually speaks in a mocking tone, because hes usually mocking people lmao. also makes a LOT of gestures, hes basically jumping around as he speaks jhjahd. tath's voice would be much more high-pitched than cami's, because she's much younger, and i imagine she sounds like shes about to cry all the time. she's very shy, so she doesnt gesture a lot when she speaks, shes usually grabbing onto something or someone and hiding.

i hope this makes sense???? also since we're here im gonna answer all the others questions here if u dont mind!

@thedumbestfuckingpersonyouvemet yea! JDHSFKJ he usually doesn't do it himself anymore though, because jay scratched him a bunch and kicked him so bad he had to let go the first time, he only does it when joy asks him to. jay can sometimes be quite nasty to her sister, or be nasty to other people when they're out doing something, so when joy has enough of her bratty attitude she just… asks gold to pick her up and leave with her. and he does so, until jay inevitably kicks his stomach and he has to let her go out of pure pain. joy is the kindest to gold, but she is also not immune to "ask the guy who does literally anything to do something for you"

yes! joy and jay are sisters from the same parents

yea!! he's dead LMAO. both golden's parents are dead and that does play a role in the whole ordeal. golden's dad died before golden was born, and his mom died later, when he was around 7 or 8, so his grandpa became his primary guardian. and.. he's basically his dad. he's the only father figure he has. and that's also why he's much much more annoyed at gold…well….existing. golden feels like his grandpa loves gold a lot more. golden is the heir of the company (family drama time: grandpa and joy/jay's dad have a badddd relationship, to the point he's not even in the will, they still keep contact becaue joy/jay's mother asked his husband to, and she actually gets along really well with her father-in-law lmao) so he put him under a Lot of pressure and lots of expectations, which gave golden the feeling that he had to earn his grandpa's love. after all, his grandpa never chose to take care of him, he was legally forced to. golden feels like a burden to his grandpa, so he has to do everything well to prove himself. buuuut at the same time he reaaaaally resents his grandpa for, well, being an asshole. not only did he put him under a lot of pressure, but he never validated him. he always told him about the things he could've done better. golden's grandpa sees this as pushing him to be the best he can be, ensuring his future. he truly thinks his grandkid can be better than himself. but he just. keeps. pushing.

and then gold appears! who's actually, biologically, grandpa's son. but well, he was an accident! that surely makes golden feel better! wrong! because even if gold wasnt planned, golden's grandpa still actively decided to be a part of gold's life. he could've just given gold's mother a bunch of money to stay silent and then dip. but no, he constantly risked getting found out for 14 years just so he could be at least a little bit of a decent dad for the kid. time he could've spent wth golden. and now he's taking him in, risking absolutely everything. and everytime he interacts with gold, he's way more patient and warm than he has ever been with golden. and grandpa never asks gold to do anything. gold started working in the company because he wanted to. grandpa doesnt push him to do or be anything, he just loves him the way he is. golden doesnt feel like he has that unconditional love, he feels like his grandpa will only love him for what golden can provide. from golden's perspective, gold has nothing to prove, he's undeniably the favorite child form the 2. the only one, technically. of course, gold doesnt feel like that at all. he's an illegitimate son, he doesnt even have his dad's surname. he was a mistake. his dad wanted to hide him forever. he didnt want anybody to know he was his son. he doesnt expect anything of him, because gold was never meant to be anyone. from the moment he was conceived, he was unfit to be the son that his dad needs. but he tries his damn hardest to be what his dad would expect if he was his legal son. its uh a complicated mess between these 2. sorry about that long tangent. anyway. yea. goldens an orphan and his grandpa is basically his dad and it driving him insane.

yesssss itd look something like ths

its just an ideea, not definite outfit. soo fred likes to dress with a more alt style but he doesnt…actually do it? he´s like half way there. think of an eboy. mostly bc he has to follow the uniform rules (he doesnt have the golden family priviliges of showing up dressed in whatever u want) and freddy is annoying about it + their mom wouldnt let him. so he uses a white shirt to go with the school uniform and then a black one on top for the cool guy vibes. he wants to be cool soooooooooooo bad but mostly fails. he dyes his hair black also to be cool and emo and he keeps his hair short. meanwhile freddy keeps it longer, a little bit to hide his face. both of them have some acne but fred covers it up with makeup, he also uses some eyeliner to make his eyes more.. pointy? like feline. idk how to describe it. also fred likes to go out at night and wakes freddy up whenever he goes away or comes back (they share a bedroom), and sometimes even drags him along which is why freddy has eyebags lmao. freddy is still boring ol freddy using the normal uniform. he wants to look normal and not stand out soooo bad and fred HATES that

@loopscereal (i know this isnt a question but the tag made me go neuron activation mode. hope u dont mide me tagging u) she actually doesnt! because in the au, gold is completely aware of what the villlains are up to! since there are no shadows, there is also no magic (because i hc that all magic in the series stems from the shadows… ignoring the camp arc magical creatures bc i can) so the villains plan is just to rig the event to make owynn win. why is gold ok with this? he doesnt really think he's going to win lmao and he just saw joining the villains as a way to make friends. he didnt have any friends in his previous school, so when owynn approached him (with intentions of using gold's sudden media attention and resources to get HIM attention) to join he took the chance. besides, hes only there as an assistant with paperwork, and he likes paperwork! hes good at it. hes also mostly there for cami. when they met they became interested in each other because of how similar they are, so joining the villains is a good way to spend more time with her. and he just grew fond of them over time, even owynn. he really didnt like owynn at first, hes the kind of slimey opportunist golden warned him about, and is generally weird, mean and selfcentered. but hes also undeniably fun, just from the wacky things he does. so yeah, no ulterior motives, gold is in on the evil (he just doesnt care)

i do want to keep cami being a witch though, but in a more real world way? like, whether or not she has magic powers will depend on whether or not you believe witchcraft exists in the real world. she does the herbs and the stones and all that stuff. le hizo un amarre a gold, te lo aseguro

uhh ahhh i think thats all!!! thank u for the ask and the questions and the nice comments and being interested!! it makes me very happy!!! and thanks everyone for being so nice!!! i love you so much mwa mwa mwa !!

#fnafhs #fhs #mine #ask #anon #fhs human gold au

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cronixo · 21 days ago

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Hello again,

Today was the opening day for our gradshow at uni from 5pm to 9pm.

It's suppose to be the day that you try to get hired by some professional visiting the show, so there's naturally a lot of excitement mixed with anxiety and dreading the future going around the students.

There was also an awards show in one of the gathering spaces we've got in the architectural block. There were awards across the entire architecture block from first-years to master students. It wasn't anything fancy, just having your read name and a firm handshake that was followed by a book related to architecture.

I won two awards today. I got nominated for the RIBA bronze medal, which i shared with another friend of mine whose work in my opinion is much better than mine, aswell as the RIBA south-east student award.

The latter i wasn't expecting. It wasn't given to me by one of the tutors like the other ones, but a member of RIBA who'd come down to give the award. I don't particularly like to admit what the award meant, denying it's purpose would make me sound more annoying than humble. It basically meant that I was chosen as the top BA architecture student within my year...

Yay... that'll look nice on a CV I guess.

I don't really know how I feel. I can't say I'm shocked, because it was either me or my other friend whom I shared the previous award with. I guess I'm not thinking much about my uni and my future at the moment... I dont really care. I don't really care for architecture. I feel so bad saying this because of all my friends who I think deserve the awards so much more than I do.

I feel... sad? Nyx (friend mentioned before) also won an award today. She was one of the four people who did. I felt happier when she won the award than when I got both of the ones I got. I congratulated her, but not as much as I wanted to. I wanted to hug her and lift her off the ground (I'm not nearly strong enough to do that) and tell her how incredible she is. How everyone knows how great she is and how she should be so so so proud of herself.

I couldn't.... i just gave her a half-assed hug and then we didn't speak a word afterwards. We were together alot amongst friends, but we didn't talk to each other.

I know that this is a very one-sided friendship and she is closer to basically all our other friends compared to me, but I've kinda allowed myself to not "get over it" till we graduate and won't really spend time with each other ever again.

I wish I could re-do all of our interactions again. I wish I'd never come out as gay to any one of my friends and could've accepted the fact that I'm bisexual. Maybe then things would be different. Maybe not...

I hate this... I want to keep my friends. I want to be closer to my friends. I'm tired of being the third-wheel in every group of people I've called friends. Time is running out and I can't change anything now. Are others just as sad? Why didn't the friends that are closest to me hug me when I got the award? Am I that bad? Why can't I actually cry when I want to. What's wrong with me?

I would have celebrated my friends for hours and hours if they allowed me to. I know that makes no sense, and I'm very immature and whatever else you think I am, but I just wish they liked me more. I wish I was able to show them how much I love them. I wish I was a ghost that couldn't be perceived. Maybe that way I could see may friends be affectionate towards one another and I wouldn't feel bad for not being good enough for their love.

I've built so many walls around myself that no ones actually bothers to break or climb and now I'm alone... well protected around a facade of big fake smiles, stupid pleasantries and unfunny jokes.

I don't want an award. I just want to be around my friends and be close enough to them to be able to comfortably be around them without saying a word. I want to hug them every day. Tell them that the moments that I'm around them are the happiest moments of my life. Tell them that they're all I've got and I'd do anything for them. I'll change as much as they want me to. I don't care about my life if it'll have them in it.

One day, someone will find these blogs, and I'll be shunned out of society, but I don't want to make them private. I need to know that what I'm writing isn't going straight into the bin and has no consequence. If someone finds these... if one of my friends finds these, please know that as dumb, cringy, immature and problematic my blogs are, I really really needed them out of my head and onto some "paper" when I posted them.

That's all,

Nem

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princesstokyom · 3 months ago

Text

tagged by the delightful @nsfwitchy2 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

1. What was the last thing you drank?

...water 😔

2. Where was your profile picture taken?

CIRCUS!!!!!!

3. Worst pain ever?

nothing has yet to top the fibro flares tbqh. it literally feels like my spine is clawing at my back muscles sometimes

4. Favorite place you've ever traveled?

GOD thats hard to answer and REALLY depends, theres pros and cons to the favourites i DO have. but i THINK if i had to choose one as the top favourite then... honestly, probably stratford-upon-avon. i fuckin love shakespeare, and sooooo much him stuff is there, and its an absolutely gorgeous town. and just GOD the idea of having RSC performances on my doorstep, fuckin heaven. id KILL to work at that theatre.

5. How late did you stay up last night?

bold of you to assume ive slept, i only started to feel sleepy about half an hour before i had to play pathfinder, its been an all nighter baybeeeeeeeee

6. If you could move, where would you move to?

i repeat my answer for question 4 lmfao

7. What do you collect?

DICE DICE DICE DICE DICE DICEIECIDEJCIIECIEC DFGHRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

8. Favorite day of the week?

the concept of having a favourite day has always baffled me. as a kid it was easily friday, but thats because that was the day we were given chocolate. now i buy my own chocolate, and im too disabled to work, so time is an amorphous blob, with the only distinctions being sunday pathfinder day, and friday therapy day. but i dont think either of those distinctions are enough for me to claim any day as a favourite.

9. Amusement park or concert?

Wildly depends on both the concert and the amusement park. I will give the concert the Edge PURELY for accesibility reasons. theyre not all great, but theyre better than an entire day of queuing for a 2 second ride.

10. When was the last time you cried?

uhhhh its blurry but i wanna say two days ago? clearly my brain has tried to block it out tho, i KNOW it happened since my last therapy session (we actually skipped the most recent friday so thats a whole week it could have slotted in somewhere), but i cant actually tell you when.

11. Who took your profile picture?

DATS ALL ME BAYBEEEE

12. Who's the last person you took a picture of?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................... myself, i dont really take photos of other people. other than that, the only thing i can think of is my dads dead body. yes i realise that makes me sound insane, no i dont care, it makes me feel better to have it.

13. What's your favorite season?

autumn all the way babyyy ~<3 not hot, not hayfevery, and everything is orange!

14. If you could have any other career?

ahahahahahha "other" career

if i could have any career? actor. specifically theatre actor, i fuckin hated film acting.

15. Who's your celebrity crush?

define celebrity, and tbh, define crush atp. i used to have a couple, and even though i still think most of them are attractive, i dont really feel like its a crush on them in the same way anymore. OH I KNOW! noel fielding, i still fancy him. and chris barrie and danny john jules tbqh

16. Are you a good influence?

if i want to be. though the Specifics of that will vary from person to person. my idea of being a positive influence is probably not the same as what some imagine to be a "good" influence.

17. Does pineapple belong on pizza?

pineapple has no right to exist in any format stop putting it in ANY food

18. You have the remote, what are you watching?

WILDLY depends on mood, who im with, and what my options are. based on my current Exact Mood and the fact that im alone? im turning off the tv, and putting on either robbaz, the spiffing brit, angorytom, or ebon ward

im not in the mood to tag specific people, feel free to do this if you want to and consider yourself tagged by me

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tears-of-boredom · 2 years ago

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okay im going to find out how different genshin is rn. i dont have money for zelda games so the knockoff gacha version will have to do. if its not horrible still. sorry i just fucking hated kind of everything about sumeru. i mean the aranaras where cute, but their quest line was literally the only one i cared about. and the restrictiveness of it all started to piss me off. you couldnt really do shit. cant catch big animals. cant interact with like anything in the world. cant even buy cooking ingredients with the small ass stock. cant lower the rendering distance. cant do quests because "a character is busy with another one of your quests", like what even is that. just hide the models if you don't want the player to see double of a character. also I really hate the animation that happens when you go to the menu/tab thing. I hate how the counters on choosing stacked objects accelerate. i hate how every character looks the same. I hate how you cant skip dialogue efficiently. i hate the arbitrary limitations in the teapot realm build mode. I hate the pointless dialogue options. I hate how the bounty enemies spawn near other enemies. i hate how the hilichurls have been proven to have sentience but the player has to continue killing them. I hate how limited the "difficulty mode" chooser is. i hate the way you have no indication on if a surface is climable or not. i hate the way trees show no indication when you've gotten all the wood that you can from one. i hate how pyro characters get cold just as easily as others, and how fire from their abilities does not affect the cold meter at all. I hate the way boss enemies cant be hit multiple times in a row, and need a pause in between every hit for them to register. i hate the way ley line blooms have no visible count down to their dissapearance, despite there existing one. i hate how they made a single new bait for every fish in sumeru. I hate how the map doesnt show underground areas. i hate how boss enemies take forever to complete their wake up animation, making surprise plummet attacks impossible. i hate how they're getting kids addicted to gambling. "Fresh and Tasty Chop Suey!". "We'll grill your entire fish!". "Fengen's Ironmongers". "Moonpies! That's what I'll make him!"...

have they released a new nation yet? im most excited about the hydro nation probably. I don't have much faith in pyro, and cryo aka uhh i forgot the name...wtv so i feel like cryo will be too story focused that you won't really get chances to do things on your own. I mean id like some old ass, fancy ass, russian empire stuff. maybe we'll get female characters that dont wear booty shorts and thigh highs. perhaps we'll get slavic faces. although thats just wishful thinking. i doubt that they'll spend money on any more player skeletons lmao. although they really arent doing shit with the models either. actually yeah, even if they didnt want to pay someone to make new skeleton rigs, they could definetly do a lot more with the models than what theyre doing now. like genuinely it would not be hard to alter the models to make each one at least a bit unique. like please dont continue to do that smooth skinny dolls with little noses ass shit. also why are their faces so bare. most there is is when the hair covers a part of their faces. but like,, tattoos? smudges? freckles? moles? scars? birthmarks? piercings? like literally anything omg.

i dont have any faith in HoYo to have fixed any of these tbh. i just like having games that have routine things you can do every day, with no big consequences if you miss a day or a week. ill see what updates i can find on it. ill probably download it either way, even if it still sucks and feels tiring. ill delete it if I hate it so much.

#quite literally this time lmao..#tearful stuff

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angelhairpastawithherbs · 1 year ago

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About guitars

Lots of antique places have a lot of them although it does depend on area

Thrift stores also have them sometimes although theyre not as common and make sure it has furniture and not only clothing because ones with only clothing arent going to have anything more than that and furniture is a good indicator that they have other stuff, but again make sure its not only furnitute either

Solid colors tend to be a lot less than ones with patterns

You can always add patterns later

As long as youre not redoing the entire thing you can draw on little designs and stuff with a little paint or nail polish and put a clear coat of something on top to protect it

Dont freak out over them having broken or damaged strings unless youre getting it retail because if its new then it should be ready to play

Getting it restrung is easy to do and can be done at most stores that also sell or rent instruments and isnt that expensive and most of the price is spent on the new strings

Using an app to tune is absolutely fine and means you dont need another thing to worry about

Fender tune is what i use and it has a few other things but you have to pay although the tuner is free and works well with a good and easy to understand visual

About the extras

You will need an amp no matter what

You can get a small one to plug directly in but i would recommend a small floor amp so you can get used to it and because it sounds better in my opinion

You dont need all the fancy dials

If youre just starting get a very basic one

You can get a converter for headphones if needed and that way youre the only one who can hear it so this is good if volume is a problem for other people in the building

Two input chords and no less you need at least two in case one breaks or gets lost because if you dont have a way to plug in then you literally cant play

A small pack of thin and slightly wide picks, its know as the beginner size and makes it much easier to hold, obviously make sure its not breakable but you really only need a thick pick if youre playing acoustic or certain kinds of heavier music

Guitar straps are a fun way to express yourself even in a small way this is the one thing i would say making a little splurge is worth it although they generally arent that expensive

They get twisted incredibly easy though and make sure that the holes arent stretched out because if they are then its more likely it will fall off

That being said you can get something to put on after that will keep the strap from falling off

A guitar case is a must make sure its padded and has straps that also have plastic slideys on them so you can adjust where they are to add padding when you carry it

And also general

Electric guitars are very heavy

Most people start on an acoustic but you dont need to its just something a lot of people do because it build up callouses and doesnt need amps or the other stuff

Strings are thinner on electric so make sure you get the right one and dont accidentally get ones made for acoustic most workers at music stores are happy to help and can easily tell you which ones you need

It takes a while before you can do good as you want to be and will not come easily without experience

It will hurt at first because your fingers are made of nerves and what youre doing is literally pressing them on metal so it will hurt although if its too bad you cant stand it then you should stop

Using a bit of lotion every not and then so they are kept moisturized is a good way you can treat them and make sure you take care of them without ruining all the work youve done on building callouses

Lots of people eventually get several others especially when they do it professionally because different ones have certain talents and sounds although this isnt something you should worry about until you learn what you play best and what you like

Guy

Guys I need an electric guitar so bad

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birthday-of-music · 2 years ago

Note

1-12 FOR THE WRITING ASKS !!! hi :3333

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

uhm. i uh. write on the notes app. sometimes on word though and i just use calibri bc default

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

GOD NO I COULD NOT.. fun fact i never fixed my bad pencil grip when i was really young so i hold pens weird as shit and it hurts after a little while. english exam had me dying every five minutes shaking my wrist out and that was only like 600-700 words i think

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

another fun story i used to write about a hundred words every night on my old ipod that i kept in my room before sleeping. said ipod was kind of halfway to exploding. like uh. that one “pillow” post with the dangerous battery. iwdont do that anymore though and i threw out the ipod everything is fine

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

I DONT KNOW UM. in general i have a notebook full of pretty words (ethereal, golden, eternity, that kind of like. overly fancy and poetic shit)

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

uh. i dont think so im kind of basic

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

i guess that when i post something people will hate it? like. outright hate it and say its bad and stuff?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

i suppose the opposite of the above but also sometimes ill look back at my writing from a year ago that isnt like. in my mind anymore and ill be able to read it and enjoy it as not something i wrote? bc ill forget i wrote it and then i get to enjoy stuff that is extremely catered to me lmao

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

oh dialogue definitely theres something kind of fun about writing stuff without dialogue idk what it just. is.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

uh. nope not really

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

UM. same as you all the bright places. also the fault in our stars. very clear what types of books i like isnt it. also this fic which is saying a lot because i dont care about genshin anymore but every time i think about it it hurts.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

uh. i like hurting my faves but only if there is comfort otherwise i die inside. every time i write hurt no comfort i lose a bit more of my sanity

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

i always wish for more wishes but lorem ipsum i could never… three wishes uh. one that every time i write a character i can characterise them right. two that when i proofread i never miss any typos. and three um.. the ability to have continuous motivation to write a multichaptered fic

#asks #☆ reze 彡 #hello :3

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bumbleklee · 4 years ago

Note

Hihi! I hope you dont mind this request :3 Could you do a headcannon or oneshot with zhongli, xiao, ganyu, hu tao, and a reader? I have this headcannon they’d be a family in a modern au and it’s ndjddjsjjejsehhwje Or Zhongli ‘creates’ (?) a new adepti and xiao and ganyu help raise them like a little sibling fnfnsdjjdjssj The reader would be the youngest sibling :) Hu Tao as the second youngest Xiao as the middle child Ganyu as the oldest And Zhongli as their dad <3

this is so cute im gonna cry (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) i went with a modern au bc my brain is short circuiting tonight lol. also there's chili near the end because brainrot (was listening to the song “the best day” by tswift while reading these so yktv)

it’s very sfw, just cut for length

your mother passed away shortly after you were born, leaving you and your three siblings in the care of your father

zhongli was devastated, of course, but knew he needed to be strong for everyone

fortunately, zhongli had a well-paying job so your family never struggled

when you were a freshman in high school, ganyu was already in college so you took over her bedroom that you shared with hu tao

without ganyu around to rope you guys in, life at home was total chaos

hu tao loved to play pranks on you and xiao like putting flour in your blow dryer or turning off the internet connection when xiao was fighting a boss in his favorite video game

xiao, like most teenage boys, often retaliated and it was you who had to pull them apart from killing each other

despite the constant sibling bickering and arguing, the three of you had an unexplainable bond and zhongli’s heart melted when he came home from a rough day at work to find the three of you curled up on the couch watching a movie together

zhongli is the best dad in the entire world

he was a “cool” dad, too

he let your house be the party-house as long as everyone gave him their car keys and slept over

he actually liked looking out his bedroom window to seeing you and your friends having the time of your lives in the pool (his motto: you all deserved to have a fun childhood)

he was very comforting too and his speciality was being able to fit all four kids (teenagers) in his arms at once

if zhongli realized you were upset, he would take you out to spend the day with him, window shopping or eating at your favorite restaurant and ending the day with a snuggle in front of the tv (no matter how old you were)

one time, you and hu tao woke up to an eighteen year-old xiao wrapped up in a blanket next to zhongli on the couch

zhongli has special nicknames for all of you (ganyu is ganny, xiao is kiddo and will always be kiddo, hu tao is princess, and you’re bug)

you’re closest to hu tao

she’s two years older than you and is the only one of your siblings who doesn’t treat you like a baby all the time

she’s definitely the rebellious kid and you know all of her hiding spots for things (you would never snitch on her though)

xiao and ganyu are very protective of you

ganyu just wants you to make smart decisions while xiao threatens anyone who comes near you with a romantic interest

it was annoying at first to have such an overprotective older brother but when your very first relationship ended horribly, you were glad xiao was there to kick their ass and bring you ice cream

when ganyu comes home from college, it’s like a celebration

you and hu tao will run at her and nearly tackle her to the ground in excitement

xiao stands around usually but is always happy she’s home too

birthdays are a big deal in your home

zhongli likes to surprise everyone with “blank days until your birthday” gifts as an excuse to spoil you kids

he lets you do whatever you want on your birthday too

if you want to go a fancy restaurant, sure. if you want to have a huge birthday party at the house, go for it. if you want to stay in your room all day, alright. his mindset is that it’s one day a year that about you and only you

zhongli is so supportive of you guys

if you’re questioning your gender or sexuality, he’ll listen to you

he’s very progressive and all he wants is for you kids to be happy

when zhongli starts dating a man named childe when you’re sixteen, everyone reacts differently

ganyu is excited, happy her dad finally met someone new after so many years of being alone

xiao is indifferent. at first he’s upset, thinking zhongli is going to forget about their mom, but once he reassures him he’s not, xiao comes around

like ganyu, you’re happy for zhongli. you like childe and you know he makes your dad happy so you’re happy

hu tao, on the other hand, is very against it

anytime zhongli tried to date someone new when she was younger, she had thrown a tantrum and cried for her mom

zhongli, not wanting to make his daughter upset, usually broke off the relationship

but now she was eighteen and she couldn’t really throw a tantrum

so when zhongli told everyone he was dating childe and hu tao ran off to the basement, the three of you followed her

you found out that had similar thoughts to xiao and thought zhongli was dating someone new to replace your mother

it took a lot of coaxing and tears but finally, hu tao came to terms with the situation

surprisingly, she had the best relationship with childe after a while

when you’re graduating high school, zhongli realizes all his babies grew up

(he suffers from empty nest syndrome)

“So, what do you think?” You grinned, watching your siblings and father admire your new dorm room. Ganyu and Hu tao exchanged looks before Ganyu nodded her head proudly.

“Looks great,” She smiled, “It kind of looks like your bedroom at home.”

“I thought it would look like a hurricane,” Xiao smirked, earning a playful hit on the upside of his head by his older sister. You heard her mutter an insult under her breath.

“I think it's quite lovely, Bug,” Zhongli says softly. His hands are twisted behind his back and he won’t make eye contact with you.

You run your hand under the waterfall lights on the wall, hundreds of photos of your family and friends clipped to the strings. Looking around, you realized you dorm was decorated like your bedroom. You had brought the same comforter and pillows from home and even set up your desk exactly the same. Maybe you weren’t so ready to let go of your childhood, either.

Zhongli was about to open his mouth when your roommate and their parents walked into the dorm. There was a short exchange of greetings before your siblings filed into the hallway. You knew this was goodbye.

“You can call me anytime. You know that, right?” Zhongli started, toying with your lampshade. “And if you ever feel homesick and need to-”

“I’ll be okay, dad,” You smiled softly. You embraced your father tightly and he did the same to you. After what felt like hours, but was probably not even a minute, Zhongli pulled away. He gazed you adoringly before kissing your forehead and leaving the dorm.

Ganyu, who had taken a day off from work to be there, held out of her hand to her father. “Weird, isn’t it?” She asked comfortingly.

“They’re all grown-up,” He mumbled, “All of my babies are grown up.”

“Oh, dad,” Hu Tao said. She threw herself at Zhongli, catching him off guard. “We’ll always be your babies.”

Zhongli mustered a smile on her lips. He ruffled Hu Tao’s hair. “Yeah,” He agreed, “Let’s go eat.”

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tsumusamu · 4 years ago

Text

nice receive [miya atsumu x fem!reader]

genre: fluff and (once again, a sad attempt at) humor

word count: 3.8k

summary: eight months into your relationship, atsumu takes you to meet his family. things don't go as planned, but of course, everything ends up alright in the end anyway. alternatively, miya atsumu adores you and his family thinks it's easy to see why.

warnings: uhhh implied sexual content at the end but it is like barely there ok

commission for @ muppetz (it wont let me tag for some reason ugh) thank you so much for commissioning me!

a/n: this ended up being way longer than the word count requested but that’s no one’s fault but my own because i dont know when to shut the FUCK up anyways i hope this one shot is enjoyable lol

content under the cut!

You literally never thought that you would ever end up in this situation.

"C'mon babe, why the long face? Ya nervous or somethin'?"

"No." You purse your lips, huffily averting your gaze from your boyfriend's smirking face.

"Ya don't needa be like that." Atsumu drapes an arm across your shoulder, pecking your forehead as a sort of reassurance. "No one could ever hate this cute face, after all." He accentuates his words by squishing your cheeks, drawing out a yelp of protest from you.

"If you keep talking like this, you're gonna jinx it, you know." Your words come out softer and more hesitant than intended, and you startled even yourself at how utterly anxious you sound.

"Yer gonna be fine. Trust me, I wouldn’t take just any random girl to meet my folks, and they’re well aware of that." Atsumu ruffles your hair.

"I just... I hope they're not..." You pause for a moment, trying to find the right word. "...Disappointed?" You grimace when your boyfriend suddenly throws his head back in such voracious laughter, that you swear you saw a few hysterical tears.

"Are ya jokin'?" he all but wheezes. "Yer the libero for the national volleyball team, for God's sake. If anythin', I'd be the disappointment here."

"'Tsumu — " you start, but he interrupts you by pulling you in for a comforting hug.

"Don't worry yer pretty head anymore, got it?" he murmurs into your ear. "Yer wonderful, and I couldn't be luckier to have ya. My parents are gonna love ya. Honest."

A small smile tugs at your lips as you reach around his back to hug him back. "I hope so."

A year ago, if someone had told you that you would end up having Miya Atsumu introduce you to his family as his girlfriend, you would've laughed until your ass fell off and your stomach ached like no tomorrow.

You had been absolutely overjoyed when you were chosen for the women's national volleyball team, and you were so eager to start playing with your new teammates that you had decided to attend the national team's training camp without hesitation despite your recent knee injury at the time. However, you completely overlooked the fact that you would be working with the men's team as well, which would've been completely fine... if not for Miya Atsumu.

When you first met Atsumu, he was the cocky, annoying little shit of a setter for the Japanese men's national volleyball team, someone who you were stuck training with for the next two weeks.

You still remember the first words he ever spoke to you.

"The hell are ya doin' there, lil libero? If yer not gonna be able to save the easiest ones, then ya might as well sub out."

You also remember the first thought you had about him.

'Prick.'

And the first words you spoke to him.

"Can't you look at this — " You had gestured angrily to the knee brace supporting you. "And take a fucking hint, or what?"

He had sent some unapologetic, biting words right back at you and that marked the beginning of the time you have had the utmost pleasure of knowing Miya Atsumu. The two of you had bickered rather relentlessly (not too unlike literal children, despite the both of you being well into your twenties) throughout the rest of the camp, and by the end, for some unknown reason through some unknown method, he ended up with your number.

He started texting you constantly, and as much as you tried to convince your foolish self that he was just a nuisance, you found yourself responding to his messages like an idiot anyway. Throughout the next few months, you learned that Atsumu was far more than just his overly confident demeanor; he's genuinely kind-hearted, down-to-earth, and actually kinda hilarious. And eventually — neither of you quite knew how — the two of you were staring across a table at each other in a fancy restaurant as if daring the other to blink and lose an unspoken game, on a first date that neither of you thought would go as well as it did.

A little over eight months into your happy and committed relationship, Atsumu suggested that the two of you go to his hometown in Hyogo for a weekend to visit his family. You had immediately agreed with his idea, excited to meet his parents and twin brother in person, but now that he's leading you out of your shared hotel room to go do just that, your stomach's knotting uncomfortably.

Atsumu's been nothing but supportive and comforting ever since you started showing that you're nervous to meet his family. He was always happy to provide a never-ending flow of cheesy words and warm hugs, but you're genuinely afraid of embarrassing yourself. You want to impress his family and not have them see you as undeserving of their son, who you truly care for from the bottom of your heart. Atsumu is your first long-term boyfriend, and you would jump off your roof if you managed to mess anything up during the visit to his folks.

The taxi ride to Atsumu's childhood home doesn't do much to soothe your nerves either, with you fiddling with your fingers the entire way through while Atsumu makes small talk with the driver. As the cab pulls up to the address that your boyfriend had provided earlier, you instinctively clench your fists so hard that you think you might bleed.

A look of alarm crosses Atsumu's face as he notices that you're still just as anxious as you were when you left the hotel earlier. He thought that the ride to his parents' house would give you some time to cool down, but that had clearly not been the case. His eyebrows furrow in concern as he reaches over to grab one of your hands in his, giving you a comforting squeeze.

"Just breathe, darlin'." He runs his thumb over the shallow nail marks embedded in your skin. "If it means anything to ya, my mom's a huge fan of yers. For real. I didn't tell ya this before, but she's especially excited to meet ya. Keeps yappin' to me askin' how I pulled ya." You flush.

"R-Really?" you stammer, wide-eyed.

"Really. Who wouldn't be a fan yers?" Atsumu grins, pecking your nose. "See, ya got nothin' to be worried about. Just chill out and be yerself, 'kay?" You nod, some of the tension releasing from your shoulders as Atsumu leads you out of the cab, hand still clutching yours.

You're feeling a little better now, though your thoughts are still running through your head at the pace of a mile a minute as you watch Atsumu pay the taxi driver and thank him for the ride. Atsumu's mother is my fan? Your ears start to heat up. I hope I can somehow live up to her expectations of me…

“Ma! We’re here!” Atsumu shouts at the top of lungs approximately one second after simultaneously ringing the doorbell and obnoxiously pounding on the door.

“Comin’, comin’, ya brat!” A feminine, yet strong voice hollers in return. You freeze on the spot, your mind going blank once again. It’s happening. It’s finally happening.

The door aggressively swings open, revealing a middle-aged woman wearing a pink apron and carrying a wooden spatula in her hand. Her dark hair is pulled into a bun away from her face and her eyes, the same chocolate brown as Atsumu’s, are gleaming with annoyance. She briefly glares at Atsumu for his rowdy entrance before her gaze catches onto you, and her entire face lights up with excitement.

“(L/N) (Y/N)! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“M-Mrs. Miya,” you stammer out, trying your best to smile but you’re sure it looked more like a wince. “It’s good to m-meet you t-too.”

"Aw, hey now. What happened to my feisty girl? It's not like ya to be so lame.” Atsumu lays his forearm on your head, effectively using you as an armrest. You jerk away, scowling.

“Shut the hell up, asshat,” you snap without thinking. About half a second later, regret slams into your body like a truck. Oh, shit. I just called my boyfriend an asshat in front of his mother. You were about to run off into the streets in utter embarrassment if not for Mrs. Miya letting out a hearty laugh way too similar to her son’s and linking arms with you.

“No need to look so scared, dear. I don’t bite. And it’s good to see that yer willin’ to put this brat in his place.”

“Ma!” Atsumu whines, pouting petulantly.

“Yer really losin’ out with him though, y’know,” Mrs. Miya whispers to you as she leads you into the house by your arm. “I’ve got another son; Atsumu’s twin. Osamu’s quite well-behaved. If yer just likin’ the looks, he would be the better option.” You can tell she’s joking by the merry twinkle in her eyes, but instead of humoring her you end up shaking your head with a quiet chuckle.

“I think Atsumu’s perfectly good for me.” The two of you pause to watch Atsumu practically sprint into the kitchen, and a few moments later there’s an agitated yell as proof that he was on his way to annoy his brother. You smile. “He makes me really happy, Mrs. Miya. You raised him well.”

“Aren’t ya just the sweetest thing?” Mrs. Miya coos at you, pinching your left cheek. “And so pretty too. I swear ya could probably clobber my brat at volleyball as well. You and yer teammate… ah, Miss Amanai? The two of you always caught my eye while I watched yer matches. Make sure ya let her know.”

You blush a little and thank her, making a mental note to tell Kanoka that. She’d probably find it extremely amusing, especially since she was the one who had given Atsumu your number in the first place (which, as you had found out months later, was because he had practically groveled at her feet multiple times. Dumbass.)

“Come meet my husband, (Y/N).” Mrs. Miya leads you into the living room, where an older, balding man with rimmed glasses is quietly flipping through a book. He gives a start upon hearing your entrance, clearing his throat and sitting up straight.

“Ah, hello!” Mr. Miya greets you. “I’ve heard a lot about you! From both Atsumu and the missus.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Miya.” You nod once in a respectful manner.

“It’s about time that he settled down with a nice girl. Make sure ya keep him in line though, got it, missy?”

“Of course I w — “ you start, but Mrs. Miya is already dragging you towards the kitchen. You smile apologetically at Mr. Miya, and he just laughs and waves.

“Osamu’s makin’ dinner right now. He is such a hardworkin’ and dedicated boy. Both of them are, really,” she rambles. “But Osamu sure can cook a mean meal. He and his twin always used to fight over who’s the better cook. But I betcha Atsumu hasn’t touched the stove since he left for university years ago.”

You debate telling her that Atsumu had made quite a decent meal for the two of you just last week to celebrate your eight-month anniversary (which you hadn’t even known he remembered), but before you can formulate the right words in your head you’re suddenly shoved in the path of an unfamiliar man. Well, not really unfamiliar. He has the same face as the boyfriend who you see every day, after all.

Miya Osamu is (as expected) the literal carbon copy of Atsumu; same strong eyebrows, same hooded eyes, same angular jawline. The only thing that easily sets them apart is his black, ruffled mess of hair in stark contrast with your boyfriend’s bleached blonde.

Mrs. Miya pulls Atsumu away from the two of you, demanding that he help her with some mundane task, leaving you and Osamu by yourselves in the kitchen.

An easy smile graces his lips as he sticks out his hand. “Hey, I’m Osamu. Honored to finally meet the famous (L/N) (Y/N).” You smile back, gripping his hand firmly and shaking.

“And I’m honored to meet the famous ‘Samu.” At your words, Osamu bursts out laughing.

“Man, I don’t really let a lot of people call me that, y’know? But if yer gonna be part of the family, you could be an exception.”

“F-Family?” You pause, your sudden confidence dissipating as fast as it had come.

“Naw, no pressure. Just sayin’.” Osamu casually continues with his task of shaping onigiri. “I can tell he really likes ya.” You raise your eyebrows in curiosity without entirely meaning to. “I mean, we’re twins, it’s like a sixth sense. And also he never shuts up about ya when we text or call.”

“I hope you’re hearing all good things?” you quip jokingly.

“Oh, for sure. If I didn’t know who you were I’d think that he’s talkin’ about the reincarnation of a goddess with the way he talks.”

“Seriously?” You snort, and Osamu just laughs.

“So I’d like to ask ya the favor of continuin’ to take care of him. Guy’s just a huge ass baby. I can obviously see that yer good for him, though. He wouldn’t have stayed for so long if he wasn’t serious.”

The two of you briefly glance at Atsumu helping his mother set the table. They’re currently debating over whether Atsumu should go back to his natural hair color and “Stop makin’ yer hair look like fuckin’ straw!”

“He is a huge ass baby,” you start seriously, causing Osamu to smirk. “But he’s an honest and good person, so I’m not too bothered. I’ll take care of him, promise.”

“Thanks.” Osamu sighs, glancing rather fondly in his brother’s direction. “He’s an asshole, but at least he’s a redeemable asshole. I’m glad he’s finally got someone around to take care of him. Makes us all feel a little more relieved since he’s away from home.”

You suddenly feel warm inside.

Atsumu had been right; you truly didn’t have anything to be afraid of. The Miyas have been nothing but kind and welcoming so far, and they even seem to already have a positive opinion of you.

“Can ya help me carry these to the table?” Osamu holds out a plate of freshly-made onigiri.

“Ah, sure!” you accept hurriedly, taking the plate from him with careful hands. You take slow, calculated steps towards the dining room; the last thing you want is to accidentally drop any of the food.

Atsumu and his parents are already waiting in the dining room, and they all look up at you expectantly as you approach them with the onigiri plate in hand.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Mrs. Miya chirps. “Helpin’ Osamu out! How sweet of ya — “

She’s cut off as disaster strikes.

You trip on your last step to the table, causing a single onigiri to tumble off the plate and towards the floor. Your mouth drops open wide as you practically slam the plate down on the table and in practical slow-motion, watch the onigiri plummet down, down, down —

Then you dive.

You dive towards the floor, in the same manner as you do when you’re digging for a volleyball.

And you catch the rice ball in one hand, laying flat on your stomach. You have a moment of mental celebration; yes, you caught the onigiri! Then you realize that you look like a fucking idiot as you lay face down with one hand extended and clutching a rice ball like it’s your lifeline.

There’s a few seconds of agonizing silence.

You want the earth to swallow you whole.

There’s no way that you could ever show your face in front of Atsumu’s family or even Atsumu himself now; God you’ve never been more embarrassed in your life, and over an onigiri too —

“Nice receive!” Atsumu suddenly bellows, clapping his hands boisterously. “(L/N) does it again!”

His brother, who’s standing a few feet behind you with a platter of chicken skewers, pumps his free fist into the air and joins in with a “Hell yeah!”

Mr. Miya starts laughing the same loud Miya laugh that you’ve heard way too many times today, and his sons soon follow suit. Shame is still flooding your body, but now you’re realizing just how ridiculous the whole situation is and you resist the urge to smile at your own stupidity. As soon as Mrs. Miya recovers from her initial surprise, she comes to help you up, and you can tell that she’s doing her best not to laugh as well.

“Are ya okay, dear?” she briefly inspects you for any sign of injury.

“All good here, Mrs. Miya.” You smile, genuinely and comfortably, as Atsumu comes behind you to wrap his arms around you and peck your cheek, still chuckling with a small note of pride. “All good.”

“See?” Atsumu’s smug as hell as the two of you enter the hotel elevator on your way up to your room. Osamu had dropped you off so there would be no need for another cab. “I told ya that they’d fuckin’ love ya.”

“Why’re you rubbing in something like this?” You scoff, dodging when he tries to pull you into a crushing hug.

“Because I was right.” He smirks. You roll your eyes to heaven.

“Well, you can’t blame me for being nervous! I still can’t believe that none of them got upset at me for diving for a rice ball at the dinner table.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“Nah, why the hell would they? It was cool. Yer cool, Miss National Team Libero.” He laughs, reaching for you again and this time you let him bring you close to him. “Besides, like I said before, who could ever resist yer pretty lil face?”

“You’re a hopeless asshole.” You sigh, and Atsumu of course just chuckles, his laughter vibrating against your ear as you press yourself into his chest.

“I’m yer hopeless asshole.” He pecks the top of your head. “C’mon, babe. It’s our floor.”

You hadn’t realized how tired you are until the two of you enter your hotel room and you see the large, inviting bed. You practically jump onto it, burying your face into a pillow. “Goodnight…” you mumble sleepily.

“Ya gotta go shower and brush yer teeth first, idiot.” A pillow smacks you in the side of the head, and you leap up with a cry of surprise. “Damn, don’t be so loud, sweetheart. It’s late, y’know. Don’t wanna get a noise complaint like last night.” You turn bright red at the reminder.

“Shut u-up,” you retort. “I told you that we shouldn’t have tried to do it on the balcony.”

“It was fun, though, y’know! An experience. And ya sounded like you were enjoyin’ it, anyway.” He chucks another pillow at you, and you yelp as it nails you in the face. “Now get yer cute ass over here, we’re gonna shower.”

“You can’t make me.” You stubbornly lay back down and close your eyes, and you had peace for all but ten seconds before Atsumu’s plucking you off the bed and settling you into his arms bridal-style. Your eyes shoot open in shock and you flail desperately. “Put me down!”

“No can do. I’m not sleepin’ next to yer stinky self tonight, darlin’.” Atsumu laughs as you scowl.

“The floor’s always open for you,” you snap.

“Aw, yer no fun.” He steals a kiss from you in the blink of an eye; the only evidence of there being contact at all is a tingling feeling on your lips. You feel your heart melt just a little more.

“Fine. After we shower, we go straight to bed. Got it?”

“ And brush our teeth. Yer mornin’ breath is bad enough.” He lets out quite an unpleasant squawk when you smack him lightly in the shoulder. “Alright, sorry, sorry.”

“Is this just your excuse to see me naked?” you tease him as he sets you down on the bathroom counter before immediately removing his shirt to reveal his muscled torso. He grins wolfishly at you and shrugs.

“And if it is?” Atsumu’s eyes are zeroed in on the small hickey he had left right below your collarbone last night, which is now visible thanks to the way your shirt had rumpled after he had practically manhandled you into the bathroom.

“Well, I won’t complain.” You follow his gaze down to your neck, before glancing back up to meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to make it worth my time.”

About an hour later, the two of you are lying in bed together, effectively tuckered out and finally ready to sleep. Atsumu’s strong arms are wrapped tightly around you like a protective cocoon as you snuggle your face against his chest. The slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat rocks you towards dreamland, and all the worries from the past day are slipping away.

“Hey, ‘Tsumu,” you mumble against his chest. He grunts tiredly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

There’s a small silence.

“...Thanks,” you finally say after a beat.

“Huh? For what?” he quips.

“For being patient with me today, even though I was so nervous. And for taking me to meet your family.” You crane your head to look up at him, contentment adorning your features. “I had a good time. I hope they don’t hate the idea of me coming around again sometime.”

Atsumu smiles that familiar smile, the smile filled with affection that others rarely get to see. His eyes are almost half-mooned with joy, his lips are curved up in genuine adoration, and his cheeks are flushed with color. You saw this smile for the first time when he set an incredibly low ball at training camp, earning the awe of everyone in the room, including yourself. Never did you think that you would ever have this expression of pure love aimed at you, nor did you think it would fill you with so much happiness every time you had the blessing of seeing it. He says nothing for a while, suddenly resorting to trailing kisses all over your face. You let him, closing your eyes peacefully as he showers you with his love, ending with one final peck to your nose.

“I'm sure they'd like to have you around again.”

And if Atsumu continues playing his cards right, he thinks there might be a possibility that in the next five or so years, you could truly become part of the family with a glittering ring on your finger.

Only time will tell if that possibility will ever come to fruition, but as you tilt your head up to give him one last kiss on the lips and whisper those three words to him, he knows for sure that he wants to continue building towards that future with you.

“I love you too.” He lets his eyes fall shut as well, before resting his chin atop your head and savoring the warmth of your body against his.

Only time will tell.

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general taglist (italics for people i could not tag): @aomineavenue @intheawks @deltahemm @bap-kingdom @shegoeshexing @brinnnx @crescentsteel @ dokidokisama @smellssharpies @dearhajime @plutoxxxworld @kritiiiii @ muppetz @ iscreamtea @rizzyrisso @makeitrainonsomehoes @maraudusk @kybabi @tsumue @thischickwritessometimes @angrylittleriri

#miya atsumu x reader #atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #anime #manga #fluff #humor #hq atsumu #fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction #miya atsumu #atsumu miya #inarizaki #hq #miya osamu

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ramenbyler · 3 years ago

Note

high school au but instead of them being students, they’re teachers

btw, as a taylor swift stan, I loved your fics </3

thank u!! i love writing to taylor lol. and for the record, not proof read (as always, sigh lol) and also ive never been to high school so if this is unrealistic, i apologize!! but its just a silly little drabble so dont take it too seriously :)

As far as open secrets went, the resident English and Computer Science teacher being together was probably the most prime example the students could think of.

Mr. Hui and Mr. Wilbur (he despised anyone who referred to him as his last name) being together was seen as either factual or just pure speculation--depending on who you asked. Most of the student body firmly believed they were together, to the point where they disregarded any fact that might have weakened their stance. To the ultimate point where they believed it was more of an open secret rather than just high school students being nosy.

On the other hand, a small minority of students still existed where they held their ground that it was just speculation. For God’s sake, one time Mr. Wilbur answered his phone and said his wife was on the line.

You would think that would be enough to break the rumour, that the student body was just getting a little too delusional during midterms and made up a fancy joke just to make school a little bearable.

Unfortunately for most, the rumors prevailed. With the proof being alarming in one favor, one day everything would shift and suddenly Mr. Wilbur would bring up a marriage that he had never spoken of before and it would shatter. And then Mr. Hui would have flowers on his desk from an “unnamed suitor” and it would mend it over again.

“Happy Valentine's Day, class.” Mr. Wilbur speaks to the class, a grin shining in front of all their glowering faces.

“Valentine’s day is fake and meant to stir on capitalism, sir.” A voice shouts from the back.

“Thank you, Tommy, for that very original and funny take. I agree, but I still like to celebrate it from time to time. It’s quite thrilling to me.”

“Is this due to your wife?” Another voice calls out.

“I have no idea what you speak of, Tubbo.”

And just like that, another rumor is about to circulate the minute the doors open.

If you asked Tubbo, he would complain and say he doesn’t care anymore, because it’s been nearly a month without proof on either end. Tommy would come up with an entirely farfetched theory of the two men being married and how no one believes him because Wilbur likes to make up a wife every other week, leaving everyone in class exasperated.

“You’re a menace, Mr. Wilbur.”

Wilbur just chuckled before shrugging, “You’re all incredibly nosy in things that do not concern you, class, maybe if you were this nosy about Voltaire, we wouldn’t be here!”

“School is mandatory.” Tubbo retorts.

“Einstein graduated when he was fourteen, Tubbo, what’s your excuse?”

“He’s dead so I gather Tubbo has quite a lot ahead of him.” Tommy explains, cracking a collective laugh from the class.

Wilbur just rolls his eyes, “If only it wasn’t illegal to fight a child.”

“What would your wife say?” Tubbo asks.

Wilbur rolls his eyes once more, “Again, no idea what you’re referring to.” Wilbur then turns around and hits the book on his desk, “Please open the book and start reading or some shit, your essay is due soon.” He says, even though swearing is a bit inappropriate.

The rest of the class sails smoothly. With most of the class quietly reading until they break out into a discussion that Wilbur demands, asking them questions that lead them to stuttering out responses because clearly no one’s actually reading it quite yet.

It’s almost too quiet, too quiet to the point where Tommy is about to burst out of his seat and hit his teacher in the head. Tommy’s about to give up all hope that anything will happen between the pair--for the 32nd day in a row--when the door is quietly opened.

“Oh, sorry.” Mr. Hui speaks gently, like he always does.

Wilbur’s eyes widen exponentially, a smile slithering onto his face when he sees him. “Nonsense! Come on in.”

Mr. Hui looks extremely timid when he walks past the door, closing it behind him. “I have something for you.” He says to Wilbur, his hands clutching something behind his back. The class is too frozen to react.

Wilbur grins as he looks at Mr. Hui, “Oh yeah? Care to share.”

Mr. Hui smiles gently, rolling his eyes as he reveals a bouquet from his back. “You knew this was coming, you ass.” Wilbur continues grinning, disregarding the entire class behind him.

“You’re an angel, George.” Wilbur smiles. Mr. Hui (George?!) rolls his eyes once more as Wilbur takes the flowers from him. “You’re an ass, still.” Mr. Hui laughs but pecks Wilbur’s lips quickly--almost too quickly. The class stays silent, bearing witness to what lay ahead of them.

“I have to go, class starts shortly.” Mr. Hui smiles once more, hugging Wilbur.

“Okay, darling, see you after school.” Wilbur replies as Mr. Hui leaves his arms, watching as he leaves the room quickly but quietly.

The door clicks closed when:

“What the fuck?!”

#fic #fanfic #georgebur #georgenotfound #wilbur soot #dream smp #dsmp #george x wilbur #rpf #ramenbyler writes #WASIAN GEORGE???#HES CHINESE???

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anotherhellchild · 4 years ago

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📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life

oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.

also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.

This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk.

ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer.

also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth.

and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.

oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.

But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.

Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?

but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview.

Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.

he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.

generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop.

so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.

It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.

Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it

But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)

#tw: abuse #tw: neglect #this is a very fanon idea btw #pls dont take anything too srsly #bakugu katsuki #ALSO THANK YOU ANON :))#bakugou mitsuki #bakugu masaru #i coulda probably yeeted the 'katsuki gets kidnapped a lot' hc in there #honestly everybody should just check sifs stuff #her brain is too big #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bnha headcanons #im legitimately not sure if this even makes any sense #im sleepy so

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mojwisungie · 4 years ago

Text

hc | boyfriend ♡

req (from: anon) ➥ : read the mark-jaemin boyfriend, and then then renjun-jisung boyfriend headcanons,,, can you do one for the remaining members? thank you~~

☄︎ with: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle ☄︎ lou.note: this has been in my wips for so long im sorry anonie but here i am to give it you guys as an offering for my birthday (its tomorrow on the 26th but anyway) hehe hope you all enjoy <3

ੈ⋆ mark & jaemin ver. | renjun & jisung ver.

Jeno

the observing, supportive boyfriend

jeno doesnt pay much attention to things that arent important

but YOU are important

you mean so much to him, and thats still an understatement

he often thinks that by paying attention to you and everything you do

he'll know you in a way no one else does

at this point, he knows everything about you

your favorite sweater (which he owns), favorite color, favorite artists, favorite songs, etc.

jeno actually knows your order by heart even if it varies in different restaurants

his mantra is actually happy y/n = happy jeno ^_^

thats also the reason why fights dont usually happen

he knows when its too much for you and so he will do what he thinks is best for the situation

anyways: dates with jeno are either doing physical activities or plain cuddling on the couch

it would mostly be him who initiates dates like hiking, biking, etc.

but, he would also always check with you if youre okay with it or if you want to rest

one time you asked him for a day in those sport grounds ?? like those places that has random games like wall-climbing, archery, and trampolines

oh this boy has the biggest smile on his face asking you, “hold on love, are you serious ( ◕▿◕ ) ?”

during hectic weeks, he’s definitely up for movie marathons

if he still has some energy, he will make a blanket fort for the both of you

also jeno lee is a cuddle bug (you cannot change my mind, this case is closed)

and so he’ll use these lazy dates to indulge in hugging you for as long as he can

on the supportive note, he always reassures you with the kindest words

AND hes the type of guy who will ask you if you need comfort or solutions when you rant to him T﹏T

and that is actually proof that he is the best support system

he'd be your hype man when you need a push

thinking of auditioning for a club? go ahead, he'll teach you what he knows

want to try a new hobby and start journaling? he'll help you find cute stickers (and he'll buy them too)

he will always help in whatever way he can, and he will constantly assure you that he’s there for you as you have been for him

he is reserved, quiet, and keep things on the down low, yet with you, he’s entirely different

jeno loves you just as you love him, and he’ll do everything to prove it to the world- you.

Haechan

the enthusiastic, soft boyfriend

he is!! literally!! the sun!!

he often calls you often in the morning to wake you up, greeting you with the loveliest voice saying, “good morning darling, how was your sleep?” SADKJASD

if he’s free, he’ll actually drop by yours to bring breakfast and eat with you

and if ever you still live with your family, you bet that once you slip into the kitchen he’s chatting up with your parents like he’s their son

actually... he technically is

he loves going out with you and your family as much as he loves going out with his

hyuck is very family-oriented, you really dont have to plead to him if you want him to come to a gathering

as long as you say yes to him inviting you to their family activities too 😌

he once asked you to go with him to this intimate family dinner his relatives organized

and you ask him, “are you sure im allowed to go? the invitation in the email complete says Lee Family and clearly.. im not-”

this man didnt even let you finish and says, “BUT YOU WILL BE!! SOON!! I WILL MARRY YOU!! baby come on just please come with me!!!”

he means it though

you dont know it, but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you often comes into his mind

and so dates with him can be both ends of the spectrum

you guys could go for fancy restaurants, amusement parks, and even late night computer games (if you dont play, he’ll teach you dont worry <3)

but there are also domestic dates such as grocery shopping, helping each other babysit nephews/nieces, and the such

its obvious to every one that haechan is so soft for you

and he doesnt care what other people say

one time, mark heard him talk to you in the cutest, softest voice and laughed... and regretted it bc haechan turned to him in the most serious face and the deepest tone saying, “and so?”

as much as possible, he wants you to feel loved bc thats what you make him feel

despite this, arguments are still there, but it doesnt go on for long

fights dont escalate as you both work together against the problem

so at the end of the day, no feelings are hurt or turned a blind eye to

disagreements are often rooted from the nature of work though, thats why every time things arent so fine, he’ll do his best to fix it

because he treasures his time with you and the love you both invest in

he didnt value time that much before, bc he’s so used to putting up with whatever that comes his way

but when you came into his life, he realized it is indeed precious

haechan spends every second loving you beyond infinity

Chenle

the parental, sincere, affectionate boyfriend

you’ve seen him rant, right?

he’ll do that often, but only when its about you not getting what you need

others may not see it, but he’s really concerned when its about you so he’ll do anything to make sure youre well taken care of

if you havent eaten yet bc youre too busy going over your notes for your exams, he’ll buy you your favorite food and feed it to you

all the while talking about how you shouldnt put aside eating bc its important to eat meals at the right time

this guy solves old math problems when he has time to spare, so he’ll be okay with you coming to for help whenever you struggle with your lessons

as cliché as it may be, he will also get you the stuff you need- whether it may be for school or for your personal shenanigans

you complained about your laptop once, saying it keeps on lagging

he deadass goes, “do you wanna go and buy a new one now?” 💀

he just wants you to do well in the stuff you do, okay ??

chenle is blunt about pretty much everything in your relationship too

he tells you all the stuff he knows he should tell you

including embarrassing moments of his members

the dreamies cant joke around with you too much,, bc they know you know everything (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

but jokes aside, sometimes his honesty can be cause of some arguments

bc he gets too straight-forward at times and ends up unintentionally hurting you :((

and when you explain why it made you feel that way, he’s lost bc he thinks he was just saying the truth

but as time passes, he will learn how to be upfront with you without having to sadden you

please be patient with him as he is with you 👉🏼👈🏼

anyhow, dates with him would always be one for the books

if you ever think that he probably doesnt remember the dates you wanna go on to, youre wrong

bc its all listed in his mind and he’s determined to tick every single one from the list

when he’s busy or away on tour, facetimes would be a regular thing

he’s prepared with the timezones and he will remind you to sleep when you should, no buts y/n

if you tell him you cant just drift off, he’ll always offer to sing you to sleep

and when you do, he’ll take lots of pictures to treasure the little moments he has with you

some people tell him he looks too deeply in love

but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it because it was with you

chenle completely knows that he loves you so much, and he’s willing to love you until forever

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