#i dont care let me make him feel powerless!!!!!!!!!

[bnl0sx]

ermmm maybe a wip!!!!!! who knows!!!

look, its messy bc i just wanted to get an idea on how to draw him aaanddd bc a headcanon popped up on my head :P

(he feels insanely vulnerable w/o his sunglasses, that's why he gets rlly nervous or flustered when someone is making eye contact w him without them teehee :DD)

[withlove-angel]

Anonymous: hii! I liked your posts very much, can you do something more dark? With zoro? Like yandere non-con where the reader try to escape or something like that?-please keep me anon💜

⚠️warnings: dark!zoro, yandere, possessive behaviour, non-con

If you don't like please don't read

Never letting go

Y/n fast steps can be heard in all ship, she is trying to escape trying to run away. She will swim? She don't know...

"Fast, just a little bit more y/n" she talks with herself. The cold breeze making her shiver, her bare feet hurting, bet she dont care, she need to scape....

In the darkness of the night, her attempt to flee. Y/n try to run, to escape, but her legs are quickly bound by the ropes that zoro had tied before she woke up. He had a tight grip around her, leaving her powerless to defend herself. It didn't take too long for him to catch up to you. Zoro were surrounding y/n now, his faces covered by the shadows, his cold stares piercing her soul.

Zoro's dark eyes met hers, burning into her soul as his icy demeanor sent chills down her spine. He said nothing as his grip tightened on y/n wrists, pining her against the floor, holding in place. Y/n frantic efforts to break free were futile as he easily overpowered her.

"You are hurting me" she say almost soobing, her heavy breath is like music to him

Zoro's grip only tightened as if in response to her plea. He didn't care if he was causing her pain, his only focus was to make sure that she wouldn't try to escape. Y/n desperate attempts to pry herself free only made him grip you harder, causing her to grimace in pain.

"Please" she stop moving as she give up, tears finally rolling down her cheeks

Zoro watched as tears began to stream down y/n cheeks, taking pleasure in seeing her cry. He leaned in even closer, his breath hot against her cheek as he uttered the cruel words, "Please what?" He smirked at y/n, relishing in her misery.

"Let me go" she say weak, not looking at his face. Their body are pressed together as she is on the floor and he is on top of her, her boobs against his chest. Zoro chuckled, shaking his head as he gazed down at her. He refused to heed her pleas, enjoying the feeling of dominance as she squirmed beneath him. "I think not" he growled, his voice full of cold determination. His grip around her wrists only tightened, pressing y/n body against his. He leaned in until your faces mere inches apart, his warm breath brushing against her skin. Y/n heart was racing as the tension in the room mounted. She were so close to him that you could see the rage in his eyes. His strong and masculine frame pressed against hers, making she feel both scared yet excited. It was almost as if you could feel his muscles and strength. The way he looked at her caused her heart to race even faster, her mind going blank with a cocktail of emotions, not sure what to think, all she know is that he has you completely under his control.

Zoro's cold, steely gaze met hers. The pleading in y/n innocent eyes only made him smirk in pleasure as he leaned in further, his face just inches above her.

"Dont ever try to run away... dont even think about it" He was enjoying every moment of this, basking in the fact that he had her completely powerless and at his mercy. To make matters worse, he knew exactly how to torment her further, as he softly nuzzled your neck with his nose, his warm breath blowing over her sensitive skin. His lips lightly brushed against her, sending chills down. He couldn't help but take notice at how y/n's body trembled at his touch, and how her breath hitched in her throat as she attempted to ignore the sensations he was causing.

Grabing her ching with his steong hands, making her face turn away from him, she were unaware of how his eyes darkened with desire. Zoro was enjoying playing this little game of cat and mouse with her, and he knew exactly what he was doing.

She couldn't control the softy whimper out her mouth as he bites her collar bone, almost taking her shirt off. His lips slowly and seductively slid down, his teeth gently nabbing her flesh. She couldn't help but let out a soft, breathy whimper as she felt his lips and teeth on her skin. He continued to slowly tug at her shirt, this time, pulling it off her body. As she tried to regain control over her breathing, Zoro's gaze remained fixed on y/n, his eyes hungry with desire, as his hands wandered over her exposed body.

"Z-zoro" she try to push him, but he has no intention of letting her push him away. His strong arms easily restrained her, holding she in place as his teeth grazed over her exposed sholder, causing her body to tremble in anticipation, his gaze full of lust as he nibbled the soft skin, causing her to involuntarily shudder. Zoro's lips continued to caress her skin, tracing tiny patterns with his tongue until he eventually reached the nape of y/n's neck. He leaned in closer, licking her sensitive skin. His heated breath was blowing against her, teasingly close to giving her the sensation of a kiss, whilst also driving her crazy. Zoro was enjoying every minute of this, savoring the sound of y/n sharp intake of breath and whimpers. He refused to let go, wanting to relish in this moment as much as possible. She stay quietly as he marks her his property, wishing to know what goes insise his mind. Even as she stayed utterly silent, Zoro could feel her body trembling as he continued to work his way down. As he reached her back, his teeth left a mark, marking. Her breathing was shallow and erratic as he continued to nibble and lick at her exposed flesh. His hot breath filled her ears. He slowly lifted his head up, he locked eyes with her, giving a small, smug smile as he enjoyed her fear and submission. Hot tears roll down her face as she try to move once again, desperate to break free from his control. But zoro's grip was strong and unrelenting, unwilling to let her go. He pulled her even closer, pressing his body against hers so that you felt his heat. Histeeth once again leaving their mark on her flesh as he slowly sank his teeth into her neck. Y/n's tears only encouraged him to nibble harder, savoring the sensation of her skin between his teeth.

"Let me go"

She try to hit on his chest but was so weak that make him laugh "No, I don't think I will," zoro answered, grinning. He was enjoying himself way too much to stop, taking pleasure in her failed attempts to fight back. Even still, his large frame was easily able to restrain her. He held her arms in place, while taking advantage of her weak hits to his chest, laughing loudly as they did nothing to deter him, this only made his grip tighten, as he continued to nibble and suck on her sensitive skin, leaving behind his mark as a claim of ownership.He wanted to enjoy this as much as he could, zoro was having too much fun with this game, to the point where his amusement overrode all of his logic. As he continued to nibble and suck, feeling her skin under his teeth, nothing else mattered to him in that moment. He took in the sound of her soft whimpers, her tears and the scent of her fear as he claimed her flesh as his own. His hands were moving in other places now, his fingers exploring her body, testing the waters and seeing how much more he could get away with.

After all, she was his... an he would never let her go.

[eyedrateanatomy]

ok wait yeah i need to talk about the short. let me compile all my thoughts and theories hold on

-the candy club is absolutely a lure for kids. cult needs kids, kids like candy. theres a few things in the town that lure kids in. vans and stores that give out candy, clowns, etc. based on the fact that the candy dealer is associated with the cartel (who trade actual sugar i guess) kevin was probably just hired to be an easy pawn and a scapegoat. thats what pelo meant when he drew kevin being puppeteered by cd (gonna ignore the fact that cd has a poster that says his candy is better than the candy clubs. thats for later) but i dont think hed hire just Anyone since cd also works for the cult, and this leads to my next observation

-kevins mom is seen with a diamond on her shirt, and her hair sticking out to the sides in points just like skiddads hairstyle. kevin clearly doesnt know about any cult, at least not yet. do his parents know? are they forced into it? do they understand who theyre associated with? plus we all know a photo with a heart drawn under it is a bad sign for the fates of the people in the pic. coughs Hope and her mother coughs

-roy is doomed. he is dooooomed he is so fucking doomed. it hurts to say it but his friends have a right to give up on him and leave him. roy has been nonstop bullying and teasing skid and pump because of his own insecurities and theres been no change from him whatsoever. i sympathize with him, i know what its like to be too stubborn to change because its such a vulnerable, powerless feeling, but if my prediction is right, roys just gonna drive them away and become vulnerable to the tree entity instead. theyll all be. if hes lucky, he and his friends will live to meet again so he can make it up to them and skid & pump after a lot of self reflection and a good amount of humbling from the adults around him. or trees around him

-lila is So broken and i feel so bad for her. no nice clothes, unbrushed hair, worlds most miserable expression. you just know skid had to force her out of bed to make breakfast for them. i have a lot of thoughts about lilas grief, its really telling that years later shes struggling so hard to raise skid, whos Exactly like his father. skid himself probably struggled to cope, i think hes the one who scribbled out skiddads face in the photos. lila trims skids hair a lot, he knows she doesnt like any reminders of him but he believes the mask is enough and doesnt think of any reason why she trims it other than she just says its getting too long for the mask. also jaune is doing kind of a shit job caring for lila? dont take her out to drink wtf. i swear shes part of the cult

-skid and pumps hair is revealed which means i get to post this observation i made. notice how susie not only has the pointed sides, but her widows peak resembles the lower half of a diamond

-skiddad is back ugh. also that last image with kevin is horrifying. it reminds me of this. i still wonder what the dots mean. maybe theyre locations? or people? theres 22 dots if that helps

-what does this mean. why is it right above pump. why does the skull have a diamond on it. whos that other guy

-only a bad bitch like carmen is able to make rick That visibly mad. making him carrying that heavy bag to the car. deserved

-his stupid ass

-here he is again actually paralleling gregor

speaking of gregor, the cult member that stabs kevin Has to be him. its gotta be. also if ignacio wasnt in one of the robes i will give this short a 0/10 <- lying

[lusciniiax]

since you dont have any ideas, how about I give you one, cheeky kitsune heizou x bunny reader, just thinking about the times kitsune heizou will tease bunny reader, bunny reader whos so afraid him and doesnt like his teasings one bit <333

☾ . . poor bunny.

dom!heizou x sub!reader. 1.6k words. warnings include everything included in the ask, gn afab reader, a little mean/teasing heizou, ig dubcon if you squint, pet names (bunny), dacryphilia, fingering, creampie - also was written at 1 in the morning, there may be typos or grammar mistakes

notes: hello mocha ~ thank you so much for the idea , i've had vague thoughts but nothing good enough to really build on recently , so it's much appreciated <3 i just love heizou

written by a minor [15]. dni if uncomfortable.

you were out on the streets of inazuma, hastily doing your shopping. right now, your only goal was to get home without encountering that terrible heizou and his cruel antics.

for the past few months, you and him had had this ongoing . . game of sorts. it wasn't very funny to you, but no matter what you did, he seemed to adore your every reaction. you couldn't deny that you did care for him to some extent, and almost missed him when he wasn't around on some days. but for the most part he caused more trouble than help.

the shopkeeper handed you a package containing some bottles of dango milk. you dipped your head in gratitude with a small 'thank you' and rushed off back to your home.

when your house came into sight, you let out a soft sigh of relief, having seen no signs of heizou.

it was as you were unlocking and opening the door that you suddenly felt a tug on your cotton-ball tail and hot breath on your ear as an all too familiar voice whispered 'boo!'

the appearance was entirely unexpected - the kitsune's attacks usually came while you were in town, so you'd let your guard down. with a shriek, you jumped and dropped the package, a loud crack coming from it as it hit the ground.

trembling, you whipped around to face heizou, who was now laughing meanly. as usual, you felt hot tears start to pool in your eyes, trying your best to stand your ground and hold them back.

"i-i paid for those . ." you sniffled, meekly fidgeting with your hands.

"awhh. poor bunny." he mocked, smirking down at you. "perhaps i could accompany you into town to get some more?"

"no way!" you retorted, scared out of your wits but determined not to let him push you around.

he only gave a light-hearted shrug, and you felt somewhat dejected that he hadn't acknowledged your efforts. "suit yourself. i'll make myself at home, then, while i'm here.

before you could protest, heizou had pushed past you, already inside your house and inspecting anything he could get his hands on. "stop that!! those aren't yours!"

"hm? i'm only taking a look. it's only natural i'm curious what my little bunny keeps around." he complained as you snatched a decorative figure out of his hands.

"stop calling me that, i have a name - and for archon's sake, get out!" you grumbled, giving him a quick whack on the head with the back of your hand.

without missing a beat, he'd shapeshifted into you. "for archon's sake, get out!" he repeated, grinning as your face grew a bright red out of frustration.

"you're not funny!" you retorted, feeling more powerless against his non-stop teasing by the second. as expected, he echoed you again. "whatever. i'm going to my room - at least let me have that to myself." you said with a defeating sigh and a crushed look on your face.

he shapeshifted back into his usual form as you brushed past him to the bedroom and continued practically ransacking your house.

you buried your head in your pillow with a groan, praying he'd get bored soon and go - you hadn't heard him quietly slipping into your room.

"hey, bunny." you heard as he grabbed your rabbit ears and pulled your head up by them. a sudden, sharp pain shot through the sensitive parts and you let out a choked squeal or sob.

the tears finally started to fall. you got more stressed every minute he was nearby, and this was the final straw. you cried and cried, exhausted from the constant worrying. heizou had managed to slip into every aspect of your life, always somewhere in your thoughts.

after a few seconds, he released you, standing by your bed and silently watching you with an intent gaze.

when your crying had finally reduced to a quiet whimpering, you sat up shakily, looking down at the floor with puffy eyes.

"please g- go away . ." you whispered, pleading to the archons he'd oblige. they must've not heard, for heizou ignored you, instead taking your chin between his thumb and fingers and raising your head to look him in the eye. you could almost feel him scrutinizing your expression.

"hm . . poor thing." he cooed lowly. you swallowed, throat feeling dry. you hated the man, truly - he was childish, rude and just a bully - but in this moment he was almost . . attractive?

"you're so pretty when you cry, y'know?" you blinked, more tears falling as you did. your vision was somewhat blurry, and all your senses felt hazy - was the room getting warmer? "i want to see you cry more." he breathed, moving his hand away from your chin to cup your cheek in it. such a gentle gesture for such cruel words. instinctively, you found yourself leaning into his hand.

he moved forward, and you allowed him to, ending up with your back on the sheets and him above you, both of you breathing heavily. heizou pushed up your shirt and grabbed your waist with a grin, running his hands up and down and gradually going up to your tits, taking the shirt off all the way and keeping his eyes on your face the whole time.

you squeezed your eyes shut as he groped them, twisting the nipple of one between his fingers and licking at the other. he took it in his mouth, skillfully swirling his tongue around it and sucking gently. you startled with a small yip when he bit it lightly and he snickered.

he moved up again, pressing kisses to your collarbone and the side of your neck. you shivered under his touch, pressing your legs together as some strange feeling surged through your stomach. having him so close was both terrifying and arousing.

you tentatively opened your eyes as he stopped, now unbuckling his pants and taking off his shirt. he sat back and gestured for you to come over. after a brief hesitation, you complied, crawling over. he pulled you into his lap when you were close enough and earned a squeal from you. you could certainly feel his dick poking you through your skirt, but he didn't appear embarrassed or ashamed in the slightest.

the kitsune rested his head on your shoulder, arms around you and holding you tightly to his bare chest. "take your skirt off, will you, bunny?" he asked tauntingly, a hand snaking up to brush fingers over the base of one of your ears.

you nodded, everything tense as you clumsily maneuvered it off. he brought his remaining hand down to your pussy, slipping a finger inside. your breathing quickened, already feeling overstimulated from one hand stroking your ear and the other fingering you.

he added another finger inside you, stretching you out with the two. you let out a small contented sigh and relaxed a little, beginning to feel more comfortable with it all. he noticed and gave your cheek a quick kiss, a triumphant smirk on his lips. "you have no idea how long i've wanted to do these things to you." he said, and you gave him a soft, distracted hum in response.

heizou pulled his slick-coated fingers out of you and brought them to his mouth, giving one a quick lick before moving them to yours. "open." he commanded, and you reluctantly complied, knowing he'd get his way no matter what you did.

he placed his fingers on your tongue, lightly pressing down, and you licked the fluids off of them, face flushing red in embarrassment.

"an indirect kiss." he purred, removing his fingers from your mouth with a quiet pop.

". . gross." you muttered, wiping your mouth. heizou only laughed, squeezing you tighter for a moment and pulling you up further onto his lap.

"may i put it in now?" he asked. you glanced down to his dick, the tip swollen and pink with precum glistening on it.

"mhm. please be gentle, heizou . ." you murmured, absentmindedly running one of your fingers along it, collecting the fluid that stuck to your fingers. he let out a breathy grunt as you did and carefully picked your hips up.

you inhaled sharply as he slowly eased you down onto his cock, trying to take deep breathes. "f-fuck. you're so tight - feels so good, my dear bunny . ." he groaned once he'd completely filled your hole.

heizou gave you a minute before starting to rut into you, starting out slow but quickly speeding up. it wasn't long until he had you bouncing on his lap, crying out his name.

he grabbed your ears roughly this time, carelessly yanking you towards him and giving you a long kiss on the mouth this time. tears were streaming down your cheeks rapidly now, and after pulling away he peppered smaller pecks onto them.

you hated how his mistreatment of your sensitive ears got you so riled up, hated how you absolutely ate up his little grunts - and yet it was perfect. the moment was entirely perfect.

"oh- oh, heizou, i-i'm cumming!" you cried, and he moved his hands down to your hips, slamming them up and back onto his cock. "go on, cum for me, bunny." he cooed as you rode out your orgasm, creaming around him while he thrusted.

he hardly slowed after you came, incoherent babbling and pleas spilling out of your mouth from the extreme sensitivity.

"sh-shit, i'm cumming-" he warned, his speed faltering as his sticky cum filled your womb, a white ring appearing where his dick was inside your now ravaged pussy.

he laid back against the bed frame, huffing out a sigh. you didn't hesitate to fall onto his chest, ears twitching and panting. heizou reached down a hand to play with your hair, soothingly running his fingers along your scalp.

"so, bunny," he asked after a minute of the comfortable silence.

"are you ready for round two?"

[itslilacokay]

pls pls PLSS tell me about your NS? au i need to know as much as humanly possible...

sniff... i.... i thought no one would ever ask........... nows my chance...... to yap..........

AHEM.

ns?AVA (normalswap?ava) is my swap au! its not normal

victim and tco both take tsc's role, while tsc just takes victim's role

mercenaries swap roles with cg, though its not exact on which mercenary takes specific a cg member's role and vice versa, theyre quite jumbled around

though one specific stick in the cg doesnt take a mercenary's role and that's yellow, in fact he takes tdl's role! as for tdl he takes tco's role

"so in your au there's like only 3 mercenaries instead of 4?????" no i thought of something else to remedy that

you know that cloaked guy that gave king the command block? yeah hes a mercenary now

speaking of king........ he has a different role as well but that's in ns?avm, which i'll get to later because i need to explain more ns?ava things

so fun fact! the hollowheads have new names for this au

tsc -> The First Victim (tfv)

tdl -> The Chosen Lord (tcl)

victim -> The Return (tr)

tco -> The Second Chance (scn)

btw the animator is alexcrafter28, aka that minecraft kid in lush caves

for ns?ava lore, i wrote down what happened in ns?ava1-4 a few months ago so if you dont miiind

SWAP-AVA 1 -tfv becomes a rogue animation and destroys the computer -tfv finds the stickfight website and convinces the colorgang to destroy the computer with him, they agree -colorgang gets "ended", which makes ctv want to destroy the computer even more -ends like normal ava1 with the fla closing without being saved, since tfv is bound to that fla file he disappears with it

an extra thing to note is that if this were a video, there would be an ""animation error"" where yellow didnt get shown to be ended, an aucanon explanation would be that yellow managed to escape to the outernet, albeit on accident

SWAP-AVA 2 -tcl is made and destroys the pc, wow what a shocker -alex eventually traps him and just renders him powerless, though tcl's able to still wander around the pc

SWAP-AVA3 -yellow appears back in the pc and starts destroying it again -tcl tries to stop him but eventually joins him and also the code that disabled his power gets removed (yellow did it) -just like normal ava3, it ends with them both completely destroying the computer, ending with a blue screen of death

SWAP-AVA4 -starts like normal ava4, in the middle of an online chat -however, it starts in the middle of scn destroying the computer -scn comes across an fla file and finds tr and co -they hang out for a bit but alex eventually finds the fla with them inside -fight sequence -as soon as alex is about to close the fla a few flashbacks to (swap)ava 1 happen -they come up with a compromise, scn doesnt wreck the pc and alex lets him and his new friends hang out in said pc -a little while later it shows that scn, tr and co are in their own fla, with a house drawn inside it (similar to the stickfight website)

a few extra things i want to add before heading to ns?avm is that in this au, when tfv gets brought back from deletion he tries to immediately go back to the stickfight website in hopes of bringing back the cg

it works, but yellow is still missing

they then find out about the outernet and try to find yellow there

along the way they founded illustratiocorp

just to make it clear they dont care about the animator, or at least getting revenge on the animator is of less importance to them at the moment, for now they just want to find yellow

the reason why tcl is wanted is because he was suspected to have involvement with yellow somehow,,, and also the past instances/news of internet terrorizing but yeahhg

i think thats all for ns?AVA for the moment, now is time for ns?AVM!

so in ns?AVM, gold and king found purple and took him in (purple's lore up until that point still stays, orchid dies and navy leaves)

purple died in the minecraft event and gold feels severe survivor's guilt and now wants to destroy minecraft

unlike king, gold's ,.,,, a child so this hatred against minecraft is more severe

speaking of king, yeah he's still traumatized but he still has a bit of moral left and doesn't want gold to go through with this plan

gold then early on finds out how to enter minecraft because of the cloaked guy (gasp)

in this au, cloaked guy originally resided in the mac and later led gold to said mac

gold decided this would be a good time to start destroying a bit of minecraft currently on the mac, but accidentally ended up being a ruler of the mac village (definitely not because cloaked guy gave him the crown and silently left and the villagers took that as cloaked guy passing down the crown to this kid)

then skip to a whiiiile later, gold and cloaked guy are kinda working together and cloaked guy is also teaching gold how to work with the command block

now that golds more confident on working the command block, his plan to destroy minecraft can finally begin right after making a staff because he still liked his old staff during his time as ruler of the mac village

honestly i havent thought much about ns?AVM as much as i have with ns?AVA so maybe i'll post some other lorethings about ns?AVM after i think some more, but apart from that i thiiink thats about it yeah

[mono-dot-jpeg]

new universe - y. welt

summary; while you didn't mind playing hsr, you didn't want to be in hsr!

genre/extra tags; headcanons, isekai! reader, father figure! welt back in action, fluff, angst???

[platonic] [16 years old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

a/n; never wrote for isekai'd reader but im down to try. this is probably gonna be unintentionally angsty bc idk abt u but no matter what world im waking up in, im gonna lose my shit too.

you played quite a bit of hsr

you had your fair share of liking a bunch of characters, gambling on them just for that 0.001% chance of feeling joy that you finally got that character

and you liked the story and all

but you didn't want anything more than that

so imagine the absolute panic of waking up like you were trailblazer.

march's face near yours sending you into freeze rather than flight or fight

"march step back, give them time. they just woke up."

you literally go through the 5 stages or grief as you slowly realize, oh shit, im not home anymore

and then it sinks in again

and then you start crying.

you're stuck in denial as you cry your eyes out

you're stuck in a fantasy space world where you are just as powerless as a citizen npc and you know there's a bunch of enemies in game that look really painful to deal with

you dont even realize that you've been taken to a room to wallow in peace.

welt's room to be specific.

you calm down after a while, sitting down in embarrassment bc oh fuck you just cried in front of some of your favorite character but to be fair you might be stuck in this world which does almost send into another panic

but welt comes in at the right time

"i'm sorry we didn't wake you when we found you, but we wanted to make sure that you weren't injured. do you remember anything of what happened?" he speaks calmly, making you feel calm in return

"i only remember my name.." you're really lucky to know that you speak the common language in this universe, or maybe they just know it. "i don't know what happened and..." your body shakes, feeling overwhelmed. "i don't know... 'm sorry."

he shakes his head. "you did nothing wrong. we didn't think or account for this. it's okay. it's okay to be scared. we're here to help you."

and it kind of breaks your heart bc you don't think there's a way to get back to your real home.

"would you like to know how we found you?" he hands you some water to drink.

you nod weakly, drinking the water.

and he explains how they found you in a different planet and stuck in a forest. "so you don't remember anything else?"

you hesitate. "i don't..i-" you close your mouth. "i don't think you'd believe me."

"it's okay if you don't want to tell me. but are you sure you don't know where your home is?" at the mention of home, you feel your eyes water.

"my home isn't where you think it is." you whisper weakly.

you don't elaborate and he doesn't expect you to elaborate.

"thank you for telling what you wanted to tell. i'm sure you're still scared and worried. and that's okay. but this does mean, you don't have a home.."

and he ends up taking you in.

you stick with him for a long while. it takes you a long time to get used to everything.

eventually you do get somewhat accustomed to it all.

with welt by your side you feel a bit more safe and less scared.

but on those nights where you remember that your normal is not the normal of this world, you find yourself looking for welt.

it's just silent comfort, just having his presence around you makes you feel better as you lay down by him as if you were a younger kid.

you just let him read his books as you wait for your body to make you sleep.

"thank you welt." you can't help but mutter.

and his reply is just a gentle pat on your head, a sign of him always listening to you and caring for you.

[swellsha]

I saw ur Prime Defenders villain au and I’m so curious about it, it seems so interesting and fun and I wanna know everything!!! Where is it different from the what if? How did the ghostkicks & polypd happen? Tell me everything :)! Also love ur design for Kota I love his long hair 👀!

ahh tysm for asking!! SO theres a lot different, i suppose i should go character by character

(tw for some pretty dark themes)

to start with will. (in this au uses they/them) they are pretty similar to the oneshot except i made up backstory stuff because i can!! part of it is that they cant feel any pain and never have been able to, so theyve always been fascinated by the power pain has over people and what it can make them do, especially given they dont really know what it feels like. their backstory is similar to normal william wisp except theyre more power hungry and start to use their abilities to take the power from the creatures they and the unwitness protection program find. theyre ... not exactly chill w that and the group breaks up. will starts to withdraw themself more and more and listen to the voices in their head telling them they should totally just kill everyone and eventually theyre like "wow yeah i should kill everyone!!" so one day during church they use their powers we saw in the one shot which lets them make everyone have an insatiatble bloodlust and basically cause a slaughter and they run off. given they didnt exactly hide it very well theyre arrested when they arrive at rockfall and taken to the supermax

tldr: wills obsession with pain and power goes A Tad Bit Too Far and they end up in jail.

as for kota (she/her in this au) she has always been a bit feral. ill try and make this explanation shorter but basically every adult that shouldve taken care of her died and she took that as a sign that she just wasnt good enough for them, that they didnt want her. she went into the care system and saw kids who had powers always being chosen over her. she even begged ms g (who she later came to sort of blame for her parents death) to take her in and train her but ms g didnt take her seriously becuase she was only a kid with no powers and rejected her. in a kind way, but it still stung. due to this kota began to grow to hate superheroes and just the world in general, viewing herself as an outcast to the world. being about 8 years old she decided the logical thing to do is run away to the woods to be raised by wolves. however instead of wolves shes found by grandma cole (who is more evil in this au) and trains under her and master cole. being an edgy kid she calls him master kill which is where her name comes from. they treat her terribly but tell her that she needs them and they love her and noone will treat her better. when shes 18 grandma cole falls seriously ill and while kota is out getting firewood she dies. except not from the illness...(oo mystery mystery intrigue intrigue) kota runs to the nearby rockfall city and totally pushes that girl off that building on purpose. however when theyre found ppl still assume kota was trying to save her and she undergoes the same surgery. however the surgeon is also evil because everyone must be and also puts a whole demon in her as well as the heart. anyway she wakes up kills everyone leaves gets arrested and taken to Rockfall supermax.

(i said id make this one shorter but wow it really wasnt huh)

as for virion, (any prns in this au) hes the closest to canon. he alsp falls thru the portal and gets ppl in her head exvept this time doesn't just kill a theif but also a bunch of cops too and is taken to the supermax! wow that one was short and sweet

ashe (she/her) hates how powerless her upbringing has made her. she resents the world from afar and the only time shes entertained is when awful shit happens. the only time she has ever felt in control of her own life is when the trickster took her over and totally killed her mum! ironic because she wasnt even the 1 in control there lol. she loves the power the trickster gives her and begins to study it more and more. im sure that wont go badly.

when theyre in the supermax (ashe is the only one not there) they all become a sort of gang and meet tide, and they work together to escape. this is where ghostkicks starts except kota is too thick to realize she has some sort of feelings for them and william is scared of the potential feelings and pushes them down. kota basically becomes williams guard dog lol. kota doesnt like virion cuz she feels hes taking will away from her. after they escape they start to work under the lambert brothers (who are also all evil here) and also with ashe. they call themselves the "prime offenders" lol. they burn down the base of the prime defenders (who in this au is doug, cantrip and le frog) to try and capture wavelength

as for ghostknife, their dynamic is similar to in canon except william is somehow more weird about it. idk how better to explain it

pizzarat (virion and kota) is one sided (at first, anyway) because virions falls for kota after she beats him in physical combat which i feel is a very virion thing to do. kota continues to dislike them but xey keep trying to show how devoted they are to her and eventually kota starts to trust her more

WOW thats a lot huh!! i apologize for how damn much that was and i haveny even talked about the prime defenders or their siblings, xavier and alan, the lambert brothers or what wavelengths and tides whole deal is here

thanks so much for asking!!

[natsmagi]

I’m curious about your thoughts on natsume x sora

THEYRE CUTE!!! though personally i think their relationship feels alot more impactful when viewed through a queer platonic lens;;

their relationship is a very unique one!! and it is one that is meant to directly mirror natsumes relationship with the oddballs with the constant coddling and need to protect....... ive discussed these things before, but his relationship with sora is basically natsume trying to ensure what happened to him during and after the war doesnt happen to sora too. he sees bits of himself in sora so he really wants to shield him, and this dynamic becomes extra interesting when we remember how natsume constantly complains about being treated as a kid, while failing to realize he is doing that exact thing to sora too in the beginning (which sora didnt like either!!)

i also think natsume really enjoys having sora rely on him so much, since it makes him feel stronger and more capable (and as we know theres nothing that upsets natsume more than feeling powerless and weak) but then it can lead to extremes of him being TOO protectful and shielding him TOO much which tsumugi has even critiqued as them being so inseparable is getting in the way of letting sora grow....... again its a super interesting dynamic they have and i love the way its tied to the war!

though, personally, i think taking their relationship and insisting it to be romantic does it a disservice......... youre free to ship it ofc! but theres just alot of interpersonal layers to their dynamic that i just dont feel carry the same weight were it to be romantic? like. i LOVE seeing their devotion to each other. i LOVE seeing how much they genuinely adore each other. i LOVE seeing how much they care for each other!!! and seeing this level of love and adoration just HITS SO HARD WHEN U THINK OF IT AS PLATONIC!! because then its just love with no expectations, love with no desire for anything in return, its just pure unfiltered love because you care so much for this person and admire them. you really dont get to see this type of dynamic very often i feel? maybe its because im really not much of a shipper if im being honest, but it just makes me so happy to see love so strong between two characters thats reminiscent of the strong unfiltered love and adoration i hold for my friends....... it makes me so happy to see............... platonic love is no lesser than romantic love!!!! remember this!!!!!!!!!!!

[visionthefox]

I know the April Fools episodes are jokes but it's kinda funny to analyze them Earth's nightmare seemed to be her fearing that she's a terrible person that everyone hates, dislikes, or avoids, her forgetting everything again, people not telling her things or keeping secrets from or about her, feeling powerless even to herself, losing Lunar(except for that last bit), being generally confused... And then Sun's, Sun's was all their enemies apologizing for everything they did, fixing whatever they screwed up, and disappearing, or in the case of the Creator dealing with Fazbear since Sun hates that company, and then Moon leaving after being weirded out, even Sun pointed out the sheer absurdity early on, maybe all of these incidents affect him subconsciously even more than he realizes, poor guy just wants some catharsis Earth and Sun telling one another about their weird dreams after the fact is something I could see happening too

ANON WE THINK THE SAME I WAS GONNA START THINKING TOO DEEP but I felt soo stupid but AA IM NOT ALONE!! for Earth- I guess is a mix of feeling guilty she "failed" Lunar- and fears she may be too focus on her family life she may not pay attention to Monty- also something about fearing you "did a terrible thing" and just feeling gaslited even when you know you didnt hits home.. her fear of maybe "being forgetfull and controled" may be the most obvious, yet is still interesting.. as.. for me, she gives me "hero complex" at times, thinking she is meant to be the one fixing ppl (even when I see ppl saying she never asked for this role) maybe because when made, she was mentioned as "the better version" so she goes by that.. ending up feeling both fake, try hard, yet afraid to fail and emotionally stressed out trying to be what ppl expected of her. so then- we see her fears, being seen as a bother, seen as someone to deal with rather than work with.. also, maybe is me, but she does kinda takes too hard her "brother" not wanting her in his date/celebration.. also going on over Solar "hating her" when the dude seems to be neutral with her.. that got me feeling odd, she takes simple soft push as "you hate me" .. no? they dont want you there, yet they still care to ask if you are ok.. what is she on about? (I know, is a nightmare, she is not meant to make much sense, specially as the emotional one she is.. I cant blame her too hard ) NOW SUN~ OHOHOHOHOHHHHHHH oh HE HE DOES SHOW SOO MUCH~ isnt it.. curious? of all the jokes they can make.. is ppl saying sorry ! what they show us? again, I expected actors or bloopers like other channel did! but.. now.. isnt it curous, right after he tells Eclipse to kill himself, he dreams of him saying sorry, sure, is clear Eclipse is not happy nor all sappy. not even wanting to be there with them any longer than BM did.. not saying "I hope im welcome back"-- nothing! Eclipse showed up, say his words, and choose to walk away, Sun is clearly weird out .. yet- clearly hoping to see the lie,, he doesnt, Eclipse lose more than he wins.. so Sun is left to wonder- was it true? he means it? we know Sun feared him. then hated him- has every reason to- yeeeet.. Sun has to know.. he is mad at the shell of how was a enemy. maybe having Eclipse saying sorry is the thing he needs to let go of this anger , just like Lunar did Lunar faced the big bad wolf- only to see a mere AI, broken and lost, lying to itself hoping to gain some sense of control over a life he cant even run away from.. Sun maybe needed to tell itself, via Moon "thats not the man that hurted you, thats the ghost of the past.. let it go" Moon is that side of him telling him to let go, and when things got too wild, his "reason" just had to leave- I feel thats when Sun stayed to yell, feeling too much stress confusion and cringe even (I have more to say but may do a post later on. idk) last joke video was not canon at all, yet this one is clearly tied to canon.. soo.. this has to mean something!! IM NOT LOOKING TOO DEEP YOU ARE ANON!

I hope my ramble isnt too long! but yea. I may explin myself better later on. just- I feel the fact this is DREAM and not an AU means a lot..

[zhouxiangs]

One last thing and then I'll never darken your doorway/ask box again, but I just need to get all this pent-up Way-related madness out of my system so I can put it all behind me and move on!

Inspired by your tags on the post compiling the mind control moments, I thought how this is a great example of confirmation bias and it's really fascinating how differently we interpret things depending on our predisposition to view someone/something a certain way: those ppl who view Way primarily as a manipulative, creepy, irredeemable antagonist (each to their own!) see him using his power on Babe in ep 9 when they're hugging as the sick cherry on top of a moulding cake - it's Babe's most vulnerable moment and Way can't help himself, he's at it yet again, the utter bastard.

Whereas in that same moment what I see - someone who views him primarily as a deeply fucked up, morally confused, painfully tragic disaster - is a man watching the person he loves most in the world (regardless of how we judge his feelings, that's certainly what Way believes) completely break down, sob in his arms, and feel utterly helpless in the face of that pain - unable to comfort him, to make it better, to make Babe stop hurting. He looks positively panicked. And that's partly because of his own lies and secrets and the general complications of their situation, but it's also because he's a trainwreck himself - he doesn't have the psychological toolkit necessary to provide Babe with the solace he needs. So he falls back on the only thing Tony's conditioned him to think he's good for - he feels powerless so he uses his power. It's all he has. It's all he can do. It's such a childlike reaction, it breaks my heart - often when a child encounters someone in distress, that's their exact reaction: stop crying! Don't be sad! They're bewildered, they're hurting now too, and they don't know what to do, they just know they don't like it, so they simply order you to feel better. It's coming from the same sort of place, it's just that Way happens to have the ability to make that order a reality! And maybe I'm grasping at straws, but I think it's important that all he actually uses his power to say is, effectively, 'dont cry, you'll always have me', which, as you pointed out, is a perfectly normal sentiment to express to an upset friend! And even then you can see his hesitancy in doing it. If he really was a terrible horrible no-good very bad boy, this would be the moment to take advantage of Babe, physically or emotionally. But he doesn't. Okay, so the bar is super low, but I don't care - I'm still claiming it as a win for Way's potential redemption!

and because it took me so long to reply to the others i actually got a third ask ijbol 

ANON DON’T LEAVE ME, my ask box is open for whenever you need to get all your pent-up way-related or pit babe in general madness out of your system, so feel free.

disclaimer i should have made earlier maybe: i didn’t know nut before pit babe, so i wasn’t influenced by him playing way in any way. don’t let my username fool you; i am a hot wheel omegaverse fan first and foremost and a nut supanut fan second.

i have to say i felt so proud as more eps came out and they kept making more and more obvious what was happening with way… because i clocked it in that first scene at the pool table, on second watch iirc. it took so much effort not to point it out to my friend when i watched the ep with her later that i had to shut up so i wouldn’t say anything lol i love when they do things like that hhh

i’m pretty sure that’s the moment i started paying more attention to way too, because he uses his powers on babe

to tell him something completely normal that anyone would just tell to their friends directly. and, to me, there’s only two ways to read his motives there: either he thinks he needs to use his powers to get through babe’s thick skull because he would not believe it otherwise, or he doesn’t believe in himself enough to think babe, his best friend, would actually listen to him and believe him. (arguably you could say he wants to make sure babe goes to him and no one else, which i don’t think is the case, but i will say it here just to be perfectly clear.) whichever his reasoning actually was it made my sad man alarm go off full blast. i didn’t have an opinion on him yet at that point, only found his reactions to the charlie situation funny, so that was my honest reaction without having any kind of preconceived notion or expectation from the character.

and then, as the story kept progressing, he kept using his powers for similar reasons.

yes he still mind-controlled babe in fucked up ways into believing he wasn’t worthy of love, but now, because he doesn’t already believe that anymore, the idea wouldn’t take. it would hurt babe’s feelings hearing his best friend say that, but it was honestly something he had believed at some point, and again way was trying to protect babe in the most misguided way possible.

and then of course there’s the scene in ep 7 after babe learns about charlie being another of tony’s children and i don’t know if you’ve watched it again after way’s reveal, but you can see his thoughts and feelings so clearly in his face. he’s feeling helpless in so many ways and he wants his friend to stop hurting so he knows the only think he knows that works and it’s so fucked up, because it doesn’t really do anything. he only gets babe to stop crying, which doesn’t make him stop hurting, only makes way stop seeing it, and i don’t think he puts that much thought into it, as you said it’s very clearly a childlike reaction, but it is so telling of way as a character and of his state of mind. not least of all because we’ve seen him comfort babe a lot more with things that are nothing compared to this, but here he doesn’t know what to say or do. so yeah, no notes.

you and me anon, you and me. i do think we’re getting a redemption arc, specially with pete’s whole thing toward way, but i’m cautiously not counting my eggs just yet. 

breaks my heart when people don’t stop to wonder why someone that from what we know has the sole mission of bringing babe back home to tony couldn’t have used his powers to either do just that back then or mind-controlling babe into thinking he was in love with him, and instead has spent the last 10 years next to him every day as his best friend. love by itself is neither good or bad, it simply is. 

[karmalikeviolin]

// long post

hey guys, im at season 6 for ninjago but i wrote this kind of analysis thing to my friends while i was watching the 4th season- it was an analysis regarding kai in a certain scene. however i think this kind of became a headcanon rather than analysis. all im saying that i like to overthink about kai and i love him and his flaws and i want to yap. 🔥

scene is towards the end of 41th episode where kai holds master chens staff and for a moment it possesses him. (to lloyd) "you had all the power. now its my turn!.. what am i saying? nothing i dont already feel!.. i cant control it! i dont want to control it! i should have been the green ninja!"

ok firstly- JESUS CHRIST when this scene happened i had to stop the video for a moment because everything was too insane dkjdjdk.

i think being 'selfish' or 'self-centered' is kais biggest flaw. i think he has some kind of a main character syndrome but i dont mean this in a negative way, im just trying to describe his flaw. in first season, kai's desire to be the green ninja was always stronger than the other three. we even had a episode focused on this where he was so obsessed with being green ninja he couldnt think straight. i think this being called up again in 4th season is great bcs it shows us that despite all the times lloyd and kai spent together as teacher and student, or as friends or as siblings; kai still had a small thought in his mind that he wanted to be the green ninja so bad. and this thought doesnt come from a bad place- kai doesnt have a problem with lloyd herself, kai wanting to be the green ninja is about himself.

kai always looked to find something special in himself. yes, all ninjas had special things about themselves but kai had to be more special. however later he learnt that he wasnt the green ninja and sometimes life is like that: you want something so bad but it doesnt happen. you cant do anything, you have to move on. but like the way we learn from this scene, kai couldnt let go of this. i think this is a really great part of his character.

and from this point on idk how much of this is me projecting to kai but i think kai needed to find something special in himself. i think kai thinks of himself as so little and thinks himself as powerless. he is the kind of character to act like he is the strongest in the room because deep down he believes that he will never be enough for people he cares about when something happens. i think kai wanted to be the green ninja, needed to be someone special because he tries to find a way to be able to love himself.

so in summary yeah this scene is about how kai had a magical staff in his hand that was messing with his head and was making him say things that he normally wouldnt say, but also it was about kais inner thought of "if im not the green ninja, what do i even matter?"

[jenyifer]

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord my soul— ah fuck I’m thinking about Daddy Dan and not in a sexy way. Allow me to be unhinged about this. First short rant about HR. Second my absolute off the rails theory about this man. Is he really a goodie two shoes about Boston? Has Daddy Dan been stalking our stalker?

It is wild to me Dan is making Nick work these crazy hours in what appears to be an open office. NO ONE ELSE SAID SHIT ABOUT WORKING THE INTERN LIKE THIS? How legit is this company? Dan coming to Nick’s work unannounced I’m assuming since Nick’s dad is there to pressure him into working more. Seriously? Dan is the fucking worst I don’t care if you think he’s sweet no excuse to treat your intern this way. Nick isn’t completely blind to this though. He responds with “you’ve allowed me to fulfill my dream�� ALSO DONT FUCK SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN SITTING IN AN OFFICE CHAIR ALL DAY ON A TABLE NICK NEEDS A MASSAGE AND THERAPY.

Okay moving on… let’s… go… unhinged… has dan been stalking Nick? Call back to episode 3 there is a user named Studd_Star that I think is Dan. Maybe he follows nick cause he was his friend or more likely Dan used his own computer sleuthing skills to follow nick and he uses a false name and icon to be anonymous online because that’s what we techie peeps do. The posts are oddly… pointed.

Now we know dan has liked nick for awhile. We also know Dan was Nick’s senior at uni. So 3 to 4 year age gap. Is it possible Dan knows about the Notorious Boston from either stalking Nick or in Nick’s second year he took a photography elective. Dan is in animation so arts adjacent. He could have been in that class as well and saw Boston being his slutty self. Dan is creepily possessive over Nick and it is possible Dan saw Boston got confirmation of who he is here and after that increased nicks work load even more to keep him under his thumb. Powerless.

I also really feel icky about the manipulation and wording in the pre sex scene. It feels very rehearsed. Not saying Papang did a bad job I just think Dan had pre planned how to manipulate Nick into sleeping with him.

He acts like he knows Nick has someone else in mind. Nick is colder than he once was but overall I think he hides his pain very well. So what the fuck is this

Just really makes me feel like maybe the “hunter has become the prey” Im probably wrong. I’ve been wrong about Dan before but… episode 11 is coming people.

Slightly less unhinged prediction time. I think Dan is going to confront Boston about his relationship with Nick. “Nick needs to be working he needs someone good for him etc” I think this would upset Boston but hopefully he’ll be secure that Nick loves him no matter what and Nick shouldn’t be treated like shit. I won’t mind if Boston punched him but I would be happy with just one of his shit eating smiles to scare the demons away.

[will80sbyers]

I think one of the misconceptions most of the fandom has is that mike feels he is not needed in general or that he is powerless. but from the way the show portrayed this situation, the writers made mike's insecurity tied to his relationship with el specifically. mike isnt feeling like a useless nerd in general. he is feeling that way because of his relationship with el, because they are not compitable.

if mike and el were to break up mike wouldnt feel that way in general because this specific insecurity is tied to his relationship with el. mike normally likes to be goofy and a nerd and he was and still is, when el isnt around. its not something he feels constantly but it is something he feels because of his relationship with el and because of their incompitability.

i am not saying this to bash el, dont get me wrong. i am saying this to point out it was an intentional writing choice done by the writers to tie mike being insecure to specifically his relationship to el to show that they are not compitable. so, when they break up, mike wont feel like some random nerd anymore because he and el wont be in a relationship where both of them feel insecure.

Yes! I think the main problem is his relationship with El, but I don't think the problem started because of his relationship, I think it's the bullying at school that made him start feeling that way about himself, and then he started to apply that feeling to his relationship with El... when he is with his other friends he feels more like himself, and he doesn't care much about what other people think now that he's grown up, (he still cares in general a bit because everybody does, but he is very insecure only with El...) he can get over it by being with the people like Eddie, Will etc that help him feel more secure... so I don't think that Mike has heavy depression, I don't think he's portrayed that way in the show, but I do think he has a lot of trauma and that he is really confused about feelings and most of all about how other people feel towards him... I think Mike started to feel like thanks to El he had a purpose, he could help her and save Will and be important, Mike always wished he was like the heroes in the stories he loved, so when he found El that did change his life, and the fact that El liked him back seemed almost impossible to him because she was so amazing and so special, and he felt like he was just a random kid, he didn't feel special, but he also is not heavily depressed about that, it's just a fact to him!

He was scared of losing El though, so he started to change himself in season 3 trying to let go of things that he thought El would consider childish, because he liked her and wanted her to keep liking him... but the thing is that you can't really be in love with someone, and they can't really be in love with you, if you are pretending to be someone else when you are together.

That's loving the idealized version of that person, not the person!

So this mask of heteronormativity that he put on where he plays the role of the boyfriend and El has the role of ''girlfriend'' is what is stopping them from really be in love... I also feel like the writers wrote this on purpose to show how Mike and El are not the right person for each other, even liking each other and having love for each other, they can't be themselves when they are in a relationship, that's their dynamic and that's why they have to break up.... and at that point they can become friends again and be themselves like they were in season 1 and Mike can start really seeing Will, understanding that loving Will is super easy because he could always be completely himself with him and Will makes him feel like he's special and important since the start! Byler endgame was always the solution!!!

[ghost-of-the-machine]

ughh

i keep having like? i keep having dreams where my mom protects me and its kind of upsetting me

why is it so frequent? i keep having them where she keeps me safe or says she'll always be here for me, and if its not my mom directly its some motherly figure protecting me. im like GROWN TOO im not a little kid but i always feel like i am, i feel so powerless, helpless, afraid.. and i hide behind my mom because she will keep me safe, right?

this time it was my sister, she was being so fucking mean to me like how she used to, to the point where like. i had to go in this building with her and her bf and she told me to get out of the car real hostile like and i was clearly scared and about to cry and my mom was like hey. we'll go together, okay? and she held my hand and the building? was like this dark like. SOME KIND OF LIQUOR/SMOKE SHOP, it stressed me out and then when my mom came with me it turned into a pretty candy store and she let my sibling get whatever they want but . im too conscious of our money so i didnt get anything before the dream switched

then i was at like? the store owner had these policies ensuring people didnt ABUSE THEIR KIDS in her store, saying like hey. if yr kid tries and steals something, ill catch them, no need to yell at them or get physical. if theyre loud, its alright, theres plenty of other kids here so its probably gonna be loud regardless like. idk it made me really sad cuz that meant she had dealt with it enough to make explicit rules about children being hurt or scared in her building. and immediately my brain knew she was someone i could trust

my family like left but . i got in the car with my moms husband instead cuz i thought they were gonna get in but he drove off too fast and then he was being really reckless and driving into oncoming traffic and shit and it was really scary cuz hes like. ive been in the car with him pulled over by the cops cuz he was speeding before he drives so horribly i feel so unsafe when he drives, and yknow who it makes me think of? my mom, because even if my mom has bad road rage, shes safer than him

the car crashed obviously and i was hurt and scared and i just wanted my mom and i managed to make it back to the candy store cuz it had like a proper daycare section now i guess?? and i dont know. my moms bf was like unhinged and i. ive had too many dreams where im afraid of him, afraid of what he'll do. i made it back to the place and i guess the kids there were also scared cuz they knew he was gonna come back and the lady was like reassuring us and she said that no ones getting hurt here, and that shes gonna do everything in her power to keep us safe

idk it made me feel good that like. even though i was obviously an adult she was still there to comfort me and assure me cuz i was fucking scared, just like the kids were i was terrified and she didnt exclude me from that safety

i think i have mommy issues guys 💀💀 i dont know why i keep having these dreams. maybe being neglected as a child makes you grow up too fast and then you suddenly cant be grown up enough when yr actually an adult. when they fight, i feel so small.. i feel like a child again, listening to violence thru the walls. i wish i could be brave, i wish i could be a MAN, be an adult, but im too scared..

why does my head crave that motherly comfort? i dont understand.. my mom isnt a bad mom. shes an okay mom, not a great PERSON, but an okay mom. shes done a lot for me and i appreciate it, but.. be there for me is not one of them. maybe im sad, maybe i wish i could have a mother that i can say with 100% certainty i love. i wish i could have a mom who was there for me and cared more about me and i wish she was .

she used to be really mean to me, after she kicked her bf out several years ago (got us nothing in the end cuz hes fucking back so whatever) . i think she missed fighting and needed someone to focus her anger on. i remember one time she came into my room and screamed at me for doing something wrong? something i DIDNT do, and then when she found out it was my sibling who did it, i guess she tired herself out cuz she just said whatever

it got so bad that like. everyone knew she was treating me unfairly. my siblings thought she was, i thought she was, and SHE thought she was. that time we were sitting in the car with my sister and she was like yeah im too mean to you, you dont deserve that. and i was just. quiet. what do i say? do i say 'yes, you are too mean to me'? probably not, my sister is my moms number one yes man, if i said anything implying my mom was less than an angel she'd direct her anger towards me. AGAIN. but i cant say no cuz that would be a lie. i just said it was fine and she said it wasnt and that was the end of it. i dont even remember if things changed

or like that time? she called me a disappointment for failing in highschool and when i jsut left, and went and sat in my siblings room, SOMETIMES she feels remorse and she comes and apologizes cuz i think deep down she does love me. but this time? no, she just came in and KEPT going, saying it was my fault and that she doesnt have shit to apologize for. okay!!!! that was when the elections were happening too , thats when she started becoming a worse person, more right wing yknow. its sad watching someone i used to admire dissolve into just.. garbage, yknow? ugh

i almost had a panic attack at my grandparents house one time cuz she raised her voice like. not AT me but i was still there and then my sister started harassing me when i got all quiet cuz i was SCARED and my brother and grandma tried to stick up for me but i just went to the back room and i couldnt fucking breathe. and then later my sister had the audacity? when we went to the park later she was like hey. btw. its not MY fault you were being weird like. whatever, fuck off

i wish i loved my family!!!!! i wish i had a family i was capable of loving. i wish i had a family who didnt hurt me, i wish i had a family that didnt make me feel like.. like im not always safe in my home. ive never ever felt safe, from my earliest memories to my most recent, its just.. carnage. dreadful

[skaifather]

hc + 😨 for a fear-themed headcanon!

answering this meme about thor's fears.

i do think about thor’s fears a lot. i don’t think he has many? being the fearless sky—berserker has a tendency to stripe many of those privileges away——————aside from the normal ones like; being powerless & losing people he cares about. yet, & i know this is a cliche… & i don’t want him to fall into the pit of the “DONT LET ME TURN INTO MY DADDY” trope but, i feel like thor is so genuinely afraid of turning into his father. so much so that it makes him almost unbearable to be around when he’s in fits of grief. it's all - consuming.

i also think he’s afraid of fatherhood because of it, the threat of making his child(ren) either fear or resent him because he’s odin’s perfect reflection without a drop of either of his mother’s resolves: i cry i cry i cry...

[ratrap]

It's okay to be confused, that's what people like that encourage so they can keep you in their grip, and it's normal to want praise but it shouldn't have to come from someone who exploits it and only only cares about your self-esteem in the context of getting you to play into his bullshit. There's nothing to feel guilty for, you're not 'content' to take pictures of you're a real human being and if he wants that shit he should've found someone who already enjoys doing that or paid a sex worker. I'd like to hope these communities had less tolerance for someone being blatantly coerced but with the shithead anons you've had before who knows, either way it IS wrong and we both know that. There's a life on the other side of this. Trust your feelings no matter how difficult it gets.

thank you.. you are right. i know how i really feel no matter what he says. But im just i dont know how to describe it i guess i just feel powerless in the situation. He is taking pictures of me which reinforces to me that he is probably recording me too i dont know where hes putting it and honestly i dont really wanna know. He tells me he doesnt want to make me fatter but then when hes In The Moment he tells me he does want to do that to me and that I'll like it and he'll look after me. I feel so disconnected from real life and i dont wanna be manipulated anymore ive been trying not to be as responsive and he thinks im just sad about my mum or im not feeling well, which im not i guess both of those things are true but i cant say i dont want to be with him or anything because i dont think it would be ok for me. Some people he got me to follow on here have messaged me with concern. he gets me to send them messages sometimes because he wants me to let him take more pictures of me. so i have to try to avoid showing him that people are concerned i feel like he doesnt really know how Tumblr works so i can kind of manage it. I hope i have a more of a life again someday