#i dont care if they were joke lines. theyre referred to as best friends two times and its real to me.

[nathanfrazers]

ted & paul & coffee

the guy who didn't like musicals by matt and nick lang and jeff blim // hey, melissa! by matt and nick lang // in the country of resurrection by ada limón // coffee poem by richard brautigan // still life paintings by rachel petruccillo // tumblr user jacebeleren

[boypussydilf]

oh my god, talk about the doctor and the master now. i accidentally typoed doctor as cocter at first. cockter. is this anything

the cockter. timecock. i am the doctor and this is my cock. im so sorry. everyone look at my immortal freaks . there are no cocks involved. um originally i wasnt gonna put this post under a readmore bc for some reason i wasnt expecting it to get long but like, it did, so, n. now those sentences r gonna be all anyone sees unless they click through. that’s great

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

BY GOD!!! they’re childhood friends. …i think. i think its said or at least implied that they knew each other As Actual Kids and not, like… however the fuck old they were in The Academy. im saying they knew each other as kids. played in each others backyards or whatever the fuck baby time lords do. anyway. childhood friends childhood BEST friends who Continued to be best friends for the rest of their lives because they’re so similar theyre practically like the same person. except for that the master let the society they were raised in & their own ego get to them and goes around believing they Deserve completely to be obeyed and served and get to do whatever the fuck they Want, and the doctor on the other hand had a granddaughter to take care of and then he meets humans and learns The Wonders Of Compassion by force. They are the same person on different paths and are forced to be enemies because of it. “Forced” by their own decisions and worldviews, but still. They were best friends who promised to Be Together Forever and then they left each other and they both just want to go back to being best friends and doing everything they planned, SO badly, but neither of them is going to budge from their own way of thinking, so all they get is little bits of banter and the hope that maybe they can convert the other one to THEIR side and scraps and echoes of what they could have if they had each other.

And also they try to kill each other. Mostly the master tries to kill the doctor. He actually SUCCEEDED one time but yknow, regeneration.

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

oh fuck before i do anything else i need to go look for one fic thst isnt actually related to any part of this except being about them I FINALLY FUCKING FOUND IT. GOD. i dont think i have time to reread it tonight though. sad. SO ANYWAY. they are one of those pairs where like. I like them so much for specifically exactly what they are in canon instead of for Potentials and visions i have in my head. they’re perfect the way they are. I mean that technically varies from era to era of the show because different writers but…. the core concept is always pretty much the same and it’s good. they’re good the way they are.

I do have to dedicate a line to the headcanon people have that twelve & missy were fucking in the vault. Sorry. Yknow i think ive seen two different fics where bill refers to it as “the sex vault” in her mind in passing. Reasonable conclusion i guess

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

i like wanting something you can’t have & wishing to go back to something you can never return to, and i like character foils and people who are just variations on the same concept, constant reminders of what you could’ve been if you’d taken 1 different step. and also i like when they make stupid jokes at each other like the fate of the world isnt at stake or like they arent about to fight each other or so on

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

*taps literally just the entire summary of their relationship*

Ok that and like …. they both on some level see each other as the only person in the universe who can TRULY understand them. They’re Time Lords for gods sake theyve had superiority complexes ingrained in them since 5 minutes after they were born (or loomed, whatevers to your liking) and even the Doctor isn’t completely immune to like. Oh my massive alien brain and two thousand year life means you humans can never really Get My Feelings. which is sort of fair but not really. And they’re both, like, basically exiled from their home- when their home EXISTS gallifrey is destroyed with all the time lords dead every other week but like the rest of the time it isn’t. anyway they’re both Renegade Time Lords, they decided to Leave and to interfere in the lives of Outsiders and they have broken like every law that exists and they are no longer welcome home. So with both of them thinking they’re Above any other species, as much as the doctor tries not to, and both of them being unable to turn to any other members of their own species, they look at each other and go. You’re the only motherfucker in this universe who can handle me. You’re the only person who can get me. You’re the only place i can go to for real true complete understanding. Please come back to me so we can be bitches together.

they’re also each other’s Exceptions <3 the master will just kill people instantly with no hesitation no second thought and no remorse. and like. Technically regeneration makes it. harder to die. what with the coming back to life thing. but there are ways around that. The master could straight up kill the doctor forever they could’ve done it already if they wanted to. but they don’t bc they care and theyre hoping they can still be friends again. And the doctor tries not to kill people, generally, but some threats outweigh that. If there’s someone with a bomb that can end all life in the universe, and they can’t be reasoned with or incapacitated, but you do have a gun, shoot them in the head. On the other hand, the master poses a very significant threat to a lot of people all the time and the doctors like. ican’t kill them tho. theyre my friend :( Doctor people are dying

favorite interaction they have in canon

the scene in. i think its the sea devils? where they have like a 3 minute long swordfight and towards the end the doctor has the master’s sword and is holding him at swordpoint. stops to steal one of his sandwiches and take a bite. then gives his sword back to keep fighting bc hes having fun.

also like. literally every time they interact in series 10. itsall so fucking good but thats also very nonspecific so mmmm. the whole bit at the end of the eaters of light, with the doctor going “that’s the trouble with hope, it’s hard to resist”, and saying, maybe the master’s turning Good, but maybe it’s all an act, and her agreeing, “yes, that sounds like something I’d do” and it’s so- s10 is so fucking good, man, and they manage to play it JUST right so that up until the last minute you really just… dont… know. maybe the master is actually changing. maybe she really is feeling remorse and remembering compassion maybe she really does want to be good and maybe she really is trying and maybe she really is getting there. but maybe its just an act. a trap. another trick from a master of disguises. a way to get under the doctor’s skin. you can think one way or the other but you can never feel certain until the moment she literally kills her past self to turn around and side with the doctor. to go fight alongside her friend, to go Do Good, despite the fact that she’d be walking directly into a hopeless situation, a certain death, there is no benefit to this there won’t even be a victory and she’s doing it anyway, and maybe she wouldn’t do that on her own, not yet, but she’ll do it to be by her best friend while he makes another one of his stupid, stupid decisions.

and then she dies, and he has no idea she ever turned around. but it’s the thought that counts. without hope, without witness, without reward.

doctor who series 10 is just *clenches fist* god. the master just wants to live. the master just wants their friend back. these are the things that keep coming back. these are some of the most crucial aspects. and. and. and s10 is. she wants those things so badly that she will give up everything else she has, she’ll change her entire life, become a completely different person, however long it takes, however difficult it is, all for those two things. this just became about the master for a while i think. thats ok.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

Oh god oh fuck i dont have anything for this ummm. I am so fucking tired. I want them to take a nap there we go thats it post wrapped thanks for coming everybody

[diyeoracha]

fanfic recommendations

for @kittensocute bc i heard “atsukita” and “iwaoi” in reference to fanfiction and i am There

i took your “i love slow burn or slow build fics... so i like relatively shorter burn fics (20-30k). If its a 10k oneshot slow burn hELL SIGN ME UP” and absolutely ran with it.

i listed my fav iwaoi fics (17) with a longer word count (longest is 80k) that are all mostly either canon compliant or divergent with only two straight up AUs. none of them feature heavy nsfw content and most if not all are tagged as friends to lovers lmao. feel free to read the my thoughts or just go into them blind!! and they’re all in order of how much I absolutely adore them :^)

now atsukita is not a big ship *sobs* but here are some of my favorite fics (7) of them! a lot of them are shorter bc i guess that’s just. what happens when it’s a small ship LOL. 

the formatting in this is fucked if you open it from ur dash but if it’s on my actual blog it should be fine!

Iwaoi

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

thoughts: my absolute absolute absolute favorite iwaoi fic. the characterization, the fact that oikawa’s a bastard but because he and iwaizumi are older (late 20s i believe), it feels more realistic and sad rather than oikawa being a bitch for the sake of it. spoiler alert it’s slow burn and pining and mostly oikawa not realizing his feelings. this world building is pretty cool bc iwaizumi is the professional player while oikawa is an entomology professor! also i love non-linear narratives bc of This fic. there’s mutual pining in this fic but it’s really really really subtle to the point where you dont even know if oikawa likes iwa. this made me cry like twice.

sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

thoughts: the tone in this is So similar to the courtship ritual that I liken this as an alternate story even though it’s still oikawa’s pov. professional player oikawa and regular guy iwaizumi and oikawa is just. bumming around at iwaizumi’s place and naturally he messes up but things happen.

told before and told again

word count: 4k

thoughts: i looked through literally all the tags i could’ve thought of for this and nearly cried when i found it agian. outsider POV!!

In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

thoughts: oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and they blur the line between roommates/best friends and being fwb. this is an iwaizumi pov and the pining is obvious on his end. as a iwa stan the tone made me feel weird bc it makes it seem like iwa cares more abt oikawa than he cares abt himself but. its a good fic

i grew up, you grew down

word count: 19k

thoughts: this is also SO funny bc basically oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and becomes his stay at home wife and a bunch of shit happens like people think that oikawa is dating ushijima and oikawa basically loses it every time. here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Oikawa also bought a new ultra-strength vacuum cleaner he’d decided to name Ushiwaka out of sheer spite, because it sucked all the air right out of the room. Iwa-chan didn’t think the joke was that funny when Tooru told him, which was frankly very hurtful and insensitive.”

Mint

Word count: 19k

thoughts: iwaizumi is moving and oikawa planned a perfect last hangout and it goes to shit featuring matsuhana. oikawa pov where he pines more than iwa which is something i can get behind!! and this was written in 2015 and iwa’s moving bc of a sports medicine program so iwaizumi stans know and love him sm ;;

Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

thoughts: same premise as mint LOL except they’re on a trip together and there’s more non-linear narrative!! this one is a little more mature in tone than mint i would say (funny how people just like splitting them up and throwing them in different countries huh)

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates and they’re both obviously and really pine-y for each other and everyone sees it but them. srsly. they’re sleeping in the same bed. like my god

Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women’s volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

thoughts: so funny. so sososoosso genuinely funny. the tone is so snappy and iwaizumi honestly just sounds like a confused teenager (which he is in this) and it gets extra points for including a lot of american culture that a lot of the other iwaoi college au ones don’t include for like. obvious reasons lol.

Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates thats abo but it’s like. mentioned twice. whiny and possessive oikawa makes an appearance in this but it’s done really well

things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he’s in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only for a little while.)

thoughts: high school getting together!! my second iwaoi fic ever and this one is just. so sweet. just an unsure oikawa realizing iwaizumi might be more than someone he wants as a best friend. this fic is honestly really really lovely.

galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

thoughts: ok this fic was so funny. theyre uni roommates and matsuhana just come fuck shit up and they all act like idiots together even though they go to different schools. and this really throws me back to university days.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

thoughts: pro! oikawa and iwaizumi haven’t been close for a while until oikawa invites iwaizumi to go to the games with him. there’s a lot of frustration and pining and actually talking about feelings (aka iwaizumi losing his mind and getting advice from people like akaashi)

when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

thoughts: this was actually my first iwaoi fic which is funny bc the author doesn’t even like oikawa much and i didnt even ship anything in haikyuu before i read this fic and now im in iwaoi hell. oikawa is really frustrating in this in that it’s basically a really good character analysis on how oikawa comes off as a Mean person all the time bc he’s manipulative and there’s some explicit content

shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates with oikawa admitting his feelings first back when they were in middle school and iwaizumi putting that thought on the backburner until. obviously. things happen.

Desperado

word count: 80k

thoughts: one of my favorite aus. it’s all from kyoutani’s perspective and it’s almost so au that they’re original characters (if that makes sense). basically iwaoi matsuhana are ex-grifters except iwaoi are estranged and daishou somehow brings everyone back together. excellent world building and reading the pov from someone not involved with the iwaoi drama was refreshing

sing with me a song of conquest and fate

word count: 26k

thoughts: a mythical kings au that’s just. so pretty. iwaizumi ends up becoming oikawa’s servant for some reason and the world building is a+ because you can feel the trust and frustration from both of them build

Atsukita

dreams of me and you

word count: 10k (incomplete)

my second atsukita fic that rly sent me down atskt hell ;; what is essentially post-break up when atsumu gets signed to msby and he’s just Pining and sad for the most part. but the established relationship pre-break up was written really nicely because it just fits my hc of them just being domestic and atsumu being blatantly head over heels

take me home

word count: 4k

i read this this morning and it wrecked me. domestic relationship atsukita?? sign me up

No time like the rest of my life

word count: 19k

mythology au with kita as a regular person and rest of inarizaki as fox spirits! it’s cute and the world building is absolutely lovely but it is an au so they might seem ooc but their core character values are still there

wild blue yonder

word count: 6k

literally full of similes and metaphors and it’s more of an abstract read i guess? but it’s so beautiful and soft and this is exactly how i imagine their relationship

reap and sow

word count: 8k

atsumu confesses and kita ignores him and it’s a couple years after the fact and it’s mostly just weirdly domestic almost roommate like except for the fact that atsumu makes it clear he likes kita LOL. they’re really in character for this!

weightless souls

word count: 2k

pillow talk before atsumu’s first game! the atsumu pov and voice is amazing

if we were both alone

word count: 7k

now this was actually my first atskt fic that sent me down this rare pair hell. it’s an explicit chat fic (both tropes i usually try to avoid) but atsumu types like me (except for the nsfw parts alksfjd) so i guess i like. feel appreciation LMAO.

if you do read like any of these fics pls let me know so we can discuss

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[stevengrantshubby]

okay, okay okay, okay. so here i go, idk if there will be a point in this but im gonna write it up anyways. so follow me down this weird half thought thur path or whatever

okay, so we know that tfatws takes place 6 months after endgame, long enough for things to no longer be new and the problems with what the avengers did (or undid if you prefer) are really setting in, not even a full year. the people who came back from the blip have only had 6 months to figure out whats going on, where their families were if they still had them, ect, ect and only 6 months for the people who were left behind to “adjust” to having everything ripped away from them. i do wonder about a lot of things from this time, but i doubt that we’ll get a ton of concrete answers about it.

anyways.

when we see sam in the opening action scene hes very confident and self-assured. hes in his element so to speak. hes strong, smart on his feet, and we see sam use his new wings as a shield multiple times which to me feels like either a kind of statement that sam doesnt need the shield or to show that he would be really good with the shield, it feels important somehow considering who important the shield becomes in the show.

also, the military guy tells sam that once the LAF get across the tunisia boarder its supposed to be a no-fly zone so to speak which is why it was important for sam to get him before which hints that not everywhere got rid of boarders. like, tunisia is in northern africa and when we meet the flag smashers later theyre mostly in eastern eurpoe and also torres makes a comment about things not being better during the blip and his american (im pretty sure) so again where these things are happening in relation to boarders and the like it still makes me think about how the world worked through the blip, but again probably wont get concrete answers.

also in this episode we see the first instance of sam being recognized for who he is by a man from tunisia (who im going to consider a character of color tho im not sure if this is considered accurate in the real world) and not recognized by white american men, this happens in episode two as well.

while the shield sort of becomes the super important symbol, we are also shown in this episode that steve has been kind put on a pseudo god-like position. yes, its a joke to ask if hes the moon of all places, but the whole “looking down on us”/”watching over us” feels a lot like the christian capital-G God. he has been put on this kind of pedestal by the people who really didnt know anything about him and also bucky (but hes been hanging by a thread for a while it seems so its a little different) in contrast to sam.

sam has a lot of respect for steve. he calls him courageous, righteous, and hopeful. the best in us because these emotions are supposed to inspire “good works” as it were. sam then states that the world needs new heroes for the current times and that symbols only have meaning because of the people who give them meaning. and upon my rewatch this feels sam want to preserve the meaning that steve, his friend, imbued into the shield but also wants to move forward. i do think that the fact that sam is a black man who is not treated very well by america plays into his decision as well, i also think the fact that we hear the lines from endgame:

- it feels like it belongs to someone else.

-it doesnt.

is important. right now im thinking that the shield is essentially meaningless because steve is gone for all intents and purposes and he dropped it without a second thought. like i get it, in terms of what the show is doing and like i said, how people who dont know steve would probably react but even so many weeks later it sits weird. even the dora milige left the shield behind even though its made of stolen vibranium, cause its just a thing. anyways...

rhodey, after the speech, parrots back at sam that they do live in a different time, but he thinks that this different time does require someone to carry the shield.

then we meet sams sister and his nephews. sam and his sisters relationship does hold a lot of tension between them but theres still so much love there as well. its very normal, reminds me of tension that i feel between myself and some of my family members and that i see between different family members as well.

sarah wilson is a black woman who, like many black women I know, have been holding things together the best she can with (seemingly) not much help. we know that sam left after their father died (i dont remember if their mother is also dead), he couldnt handle it as stated, so he went off and fought. but in being gone he sarah ran the business the best she could. shes also a widow, not sure when that happened but y'know thats there too.

but ii think that how sam feels about his familys home and boat in contrast with how he treated the shield kind of. sam references the boat as their familys legacy (sarah also calls their dad a 'giant' and that not mattering to the bank and probably others) and he doesnt want to let that go no matter what. however both of these are acts of preservation on sams part, just in different ways. he tried to let one go while desperately trying to hold on to the other, one to be put in stasis and one to move forward, grow, passed down ect, ect.

now sam really only tries to get involved with the flag smashers because he theyre super soldiers. and i guess youd call this the inciting incident part of act one.

now the next three episodes are very intertwinded in the plot and what kind of world sam would be becoming captain america in. sam makes an off handed comment that sharon, zemo, and bucky are more worldly than him but thats true. and he does have to...learn, is the best word i have. i mean, the most he can do right now is “make a call” as he puts it which really isnt a lot considering whats been going on.

and to backtrack (sorry if this is all over the place) we do see sam constantly empathizing with the flag smashers and more specifically karli consistently throughout the show. if they werent super soldiers hed not have crossed their path the way that he did. throughout the show, well before episode 4, sam is really focused on like where exactly the super soldiers are coming from, the fact that the flag smashers are stealing money, and food, and medicine he doesnt really care.

when he has his heart to heart with karli the main problem that he has honestly, is the murders (and i do wish that there was distinction made cause that is important, but i know that in show sam probably doesnt know that karli blew up a building with people tied up in it like we do but its important that we know that), when he says that the killings wouldnt make the world better just different along with karli saying “theyre roadblocks on my journey and id kill them again if i had to” (which is 1. very dehumanizing, 2. she says 'my' and not 'our', and 3. she didnt have to kill these low level workers) is more  a restructuring of power instead of dismantling it.

like theres a lot here but my minds not connecting fully.

i know the show isnt over so ii dont really have a conclusion (i honestly havent even said half of what I took notes about) but its like 4 am here and I gotta go to bed. And I dont want this ti be multiple parts right now I just needed to get this outta my system lol.

part 2 whenever

[dunkalfredo]

Im in love with your vision of Infinite and Rookie and i want to hear some of your sweet headcanons about their time together. If anyone asked something similar, refer me to this post, please. Thanks!

alskdjnsjklnljkls tysm!!!! yeah sure ill share some headcanons. i did a post on a similar topic about a month ago but that’s more their individual personalities/aesthetics than actual relationship material so ill go ahead and add on some stuff here.

i should note that portions of this are based heavily off of the idea that they grew up together so prepare for some au territory at this point. my backstory for them is becoming so intricate jfc;;;;;; i really hope ur not disappointed with this answer i have like an entire pre-forces narrative planned out in my head at this point OTL if u were hoping for more general stuff just lemme know i can give you some more hcs for that (there’s already some but there’s also Backstory stuff that i can’t really explore through oneshot format)

this is entirely self indulgent tbhhhh anyways click that mf Keep reading button

there’s a lot of like. casual touch. lotsa hugs and leaning on each other and resting their chin on the other’s shoulder (or top of head depending on who’s who bc height difference) while looking over them at what they’re doing and its really rooted in their learning early on how much Gadget loves that sweet sweet Physical Contact (if u scratch behind his ears he will melt, guaranteed, you’ll have yourself a Boneless Gadget with a two-liter coke)

if it’s raining out gadget will insist on doing something that’s not just sitting inside all day but snugglin w/ infinite ends up tempting him into doing Exactly That lol

there’s a lot of companionable silence between them when it’s just Them Alone in a Room. sure they talk and chat and joke but there are so many times where it’s just,,, being Together,,, and enjoying being in the other’s presence as they each do their own thing

sorta going into childhood/backstory stuff but uhhhh:

starting freshman year of highschool they started just bein each other’s dates to school dances even though they were “just friends” for like half of that timespan . i love cheesy stuff like that im sorry bro i had to include that tidbit i know it’s super specific and particular to my own backstory for them but just, they’re best buds and they gonna have a good time at homecoming lol

please imagine: those cute pre-dance pictures that parents take at the stairwell or front porch or somethin right before their kids leave, but with gadget and infinite. gadget’s got braces and they dont really fit in his mouth and his lenses reflect the light in the photo and oops infinite blinked and his shirt is too big and tbh their suits in gen just don’t really fit them right, gadget’s shirt is untucked and infinite’s tie is crooked but it’s okay, they’re both smilin reeeeaaaal big (and besides they figure out how to look Aesthetically Pleasing by junior year)

summers were hot in their hometown (note: i grew up in the north so i know nothing of True Heat, bear with me on this one.) most evenings were spent out on gadget’s fam’s back porch, cold towels resting on the backs of their necks, sweat in and under their fur, and they’re melting into the wood of the deck, fan plugged into that one weird outlet on the outside of the house that’s really more a fire hazard than anything else but the cool air is nice. they’re just lounging around reading comic books and listening to music on infinite’s old zune (lots of mid-2000s punk rock bands bc what else were u expecting) and in later years when they’re in that teen puppy love stage they’re trying to cuddle but it’s TOO DAMN HOT OUTSIDE so they resort to like, gentle hand holding, infinite reading some pretentious literary work or whatever and gadget spacing tf out next to him

when they graduate and are assigned a partner to walk down the aisle with they still end up w/ each other even though technically the partners are chosen according to alphabetical order and they’re on opposite ends of that list whOOPS how’d they do that? (hint: last minute shuffling in line)

when they move outta their small lil home town and into The Big City (im gonna say that would be Sunset Heights to tie in some canon plot relevance) they move in together and share a flat. a) its more financially manageable to just split housing costs like that and b) it’s been a dream their entire lives to live together when they’re older so oh!!! they’re older now!!!!! time to live together

(okay that’s all for backstory stuff back to reg hcs)

neither can cook but its ok

it may seem like they bicker a lot but it’s usually either the like, joke argue of “what do you mean craft mac n cheese is gross take that back” or reprimands like “it’s one a.m. time to sleep u Fool” (self-care is important, lads). they actually communicate really well so high-stakes arguments aren’t super common (and when they do happen they dont tend to explode. i wanted to have them be the type that argue for understanding and not to prove they’re right, so that greatly affects the outcomes of their disputes.)

infinite loves to hum while he’s doing things, or just in gen, and his voice is very low and smooth and gadget looooooves it, so much. they’ll be, i dunno, doing some mundane thing, like maybe they’re out getting groceries or doin dishes or something (i love me that domestic content) and he’ll start humming quietly and it just, it really grounds gadget in a way that sometimes he doesn’t even know he needs till infinite does it.

anyone here ever played bayonetta? any a yall remember those bits where there’s a woman in bayo’s memories singing and/or humming ‘fly me to the moon’ all quiet and low? think that but just,,,, pitched down,,,, yeah,,,

the tunes are usually very slow and while not so much melancholy theyre just? i dunno melodic in the same lax, smooth-tempo’d way a lot of melancholy songs are? i dunno i like quiet, introspective infinite and aesthetics that reflect that

here’s a long one: about a month before infinite “goes missing” and forces happens, infinite lands a job at a local news outlet as one of the column writers and even tho he’s more into prose than journalism he’s so fuckin pumped. it’s mostly just excitement over not doing cashier work and having a money-makin outlet he’s at least somewhat interested in lol …aaaaaand the way ship headcanon works into this bullet is that when he finds out that he landed the job he so excited that when gadget walks into the room (it’s morning and gadget literally was just gonna get some coffee, he’s still in his pajamas, he’s got bedhead) infinite sees him and whoops he tackle-hugs him and then whoops he knocked them both onto the floor but its cool gadget kinda let it happen and when infinite tells him what happened and apologizes he’s now also super excited and happy for him so now there’s two (2) people screaming inside (and out) about this awesome development

here’s a short one: they wear each other’s clothes a lot

gadget’s v cuddly in his sleep so he gets really clingy w/ infinite when a) it’s early morning and they’re just waking up b) it’s Late o’ clock at night and they’re chillin at home or c) he’s Actually asleep and within like three feet of infinite

i dont really know how to end this lol i dont really wanna just start repeating myself and i might think of other stuff later but for now pls consider the following: when they sleep whoever’s big spoon ends up resting one hand over the other’s heart and it’s super sweet

oh and they smooch a lot (i told you this response was self indulgent)

[maliciousunicorn]

hi i dont know why but i love being annoying so if you wanna see me expand on my tag rant from earlier and talk about fat characters please click under the cut. skinny or even average weight writers take a look, it aint personal but please,

[also im going to be using the word ‘fat’ quite liberally, a word i dont love but its easiest to apply. in this post its referring to all body types that are heavier (have more room for love ❤︎ ) than average]

holy fuck im gonna make this  a Big Deal because i just downed a whole mug of coffee in about two minutes so heres some things that need to be destroyed

fat characters being the Doofy Sidekick to the Competent Hero

fat characters helping the main character by accident 99% of the time

fat char is friends with skinny/avg char, and both are ‘uncool’ but the skinny one is the kind of ‘uncool’ that wears beanies and is actually fashionable/smart, while the fat one is our definition of uncool with ugly clothes, rude demeanor, and the whole relationship just looks like its the ‘cool’ uncool(skinny) taking pity on the fat one

Big hulking powerhouse

fat characters being good at cooking/good with food*(more on this, there are exceptions)

fat characters being one-dimensional comedic relief with like four minutes of feelings sprinkled across three episodes to make it seem like the writers actually cared

y’all know i’ll add more if i think of it but lets just start because i have literally nothing better to do with my time

fat characters being the Doofy Sidekick to the Competent Hero

holy fuck....hoooooollyy fuck!! this whole??? thing!! where fat characters are the dumb sidekick needs to STOP!!! i mean, you’ll never see a main character thats not either skinny or buff anyway(usually, female and male, respectively) ((also steven universe is the exception to pretty much this entire post because they do multiple fat characters well, with diverse personalities and interests. crazy.)) and they usually just slap a sidekick on for a supporting role, comic relief and The Obligatory Weight Representation all in one for simplicity but. thats can stop any day now. constantly the Main goes off on some big quest to a magic world where the Sidekick can’t follow, and more than often they are, to use a particularly relevant phrase, ‘fat and happy’ and rarely question it. if they do, its a one-episode arc.

i mean i understand if theres only supposed to be one main character, but at least present it that way. dont kind of tease at a partnership if you arent going to develop the partner, fuckass. dont have fights and then make-ups where they bump fists and go “partners???(/equals/bros/team,etc)” “yeah, partners! :) (etc etc etc)”

its worth noting that this dynamic is mostly in male&male friendships because a girl who isnt pixie thin, heaven forbid, and a girl who has one best friend but not, also, a group of 2-4 other, less close but still “besties!!!” friends, ever comes to exist.

and then, in the same lines, we have

fat characters helping the main character by accident 99% of the time

where, whoops, and a ha-ha, the Fat Sidekick drops their Food Item!! and, haha, oh look, ew, haha GROSS !! theyre still gonna try to get it back!! but? whats this, by accidentally throwing/grabbing at the Food Item, they defeat the Villain of The Hour and save the day!!!!! ahhah what wacky hijinks!

yeah, im sure you’ve seen it, or minor variations of. and can i just say? fuck this trope with a red-hot iron poker. seriously. its disgusting. theres other ways the Fat Sidekick Accidentally Helps, but its mostly by knocking something over, or sleeping. so, moving on,

fat char is friends with skinny/avg char, and both are ‘uncool’ but the skinny one is the kind of ‘uncool’ that wears beanies and is actually fashionable/smart, while the fat one is our definition of uncool with ugly clothes, questionable social skills, and the whole relationship just looks like its the ‘cool’ uncool(skinny) taking pity on the 'uncool’ uncool (fat) one

i pretty much wrote all of this in the title. don’t do it.

Big hulking powerhouse

fat people can be nimble, fluid, and elegant. thank you. goodnight. *drops mic*

*runs back to pick up mic* on a side note, skinny people can be clumsy but stop the trope where the clumsiness is cute and only lands them in the arms of their crush. clumsiness knocks shit over. clumsiness can cause damage and hurt feelings resulting from honest mistakes *sets mic gently down on the floor this time*

fat characters being good at cooking/good with food*(more on this, there are exceptions)

obviously, cooking/food talent is an applicable trait that can come from their background. say a parent was a chef, or they grew up having to cook for themselves. if you give reason and background as to why they talented in this area (which, frankly, you should do with every quality), it can be fine! but when your Fat Character (i mean, if you;re writing the trope im discussing rn, im assuming you’re dull enough to only have one chubby/fat character) is just, good with food. when your fat character is just, a good cook. when your fat character is just, able to tell ingredients by smelling something, FOR NO REASON, then you need to back up and fucking stop.

we may eat more than average but that doesnt mean it comes from just, wanting to eat. for me personally i eat when im stressed, bored, or sad, which i am almost always one of. its different with everyone though. many lorge people wont mind if you message them asking for advice on why they eat the way they do. some will. please just be sensitive.

fat characters being one-dimensional comedic relief with like four minutes of feelings sprinkled across three episodes to make it seem like the writers actually cared

this is. probably the worst. i see it most in younger audience targeted shows, granted, but the fact remains that when some character needs to make a crude remark for the sake of the plot, 90% of the time or more its the fat one.

and to the second part of this trope, fat characters are overused so much for dumb jokes they get abused to the point of disuse, to which the show/book writers respond with a single episode/scene/whatever where they show Real Depth™️ (usually over the loss of a burrito or some fuckery, but its connected to dead relative or some shit so they can be emotional without losing that Important Quality Where Food Is King), which is the equivalent of the writers picking up a dropped piece of steak that the dog licked, rinsing it off in the sink, and putting it back on your plate with a smile and a “here, kiddo. ready to eat again.” but if you were paying even a smidgen on attention you can see all the hair and dust still on it. and it looks thoroughly unappetizing. as it should.

here are some fun tips!!!!!!!

---fat people can have interests in athletics. like. jesus christ. i know this might blow some of your minds, but fat people can enjoy sports. and, even crazier, you dont absolutely have to make a joke about their being out of shape every time they take a step

try this: FUCKING SUBTLETY. if your characters go to a high school, maybe the fat character(s) and their friends all walk together when they technically should be running laps, and you dont make it look like an act of pity. (I.e., instead of ‘oh, F.C., want me to slow down and walk with you? :)’ try ‘oh man, F.C., running sucks and i dont wanna. may i walk with you?’)

---fat people can obviously also have sedentary interests. sewing, drawing, math, board games, i can go on. they can have all the interests all people have in real life

---fat characters dont always have to be motherly, give big soft warm flab hugs (though those are nice) and be protective. fat characters can be upfront, a bit mean, but still a good person/liked.

---fat people can be wanted!!! a character can have a crush on a fat person and have it not just be a comedy joke thing!! crazy i know!!!!! fat people can be involved in real romance where the arc doesn’t center around how great the skinny one is for loving them *despite* their body!!!!!!!! i fucking hate when it implies a fat character is loved *despite* their body!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

---ideally, their eating habits can be subtlely portrayed as part of their character. maybe they have a little more for lunch, or take two dessert. maybe in the background of their room theres a few extra food wrappers than their friends. (note these are things i, personally would support). If you’re feeling nervous about it, its better to not write any ‘signs’ of it than overdo it, but 99% of the time the key is it existing, but no one comments on it in the story,

---seriously, stop making every kind interaction about FC’s weight from a skinny character an act of pity. i think this is one i react especially strongly too because of my personality, but its important overall.

here are some horrible Fat™️, in the generalization of the term, characters that I think are portrayed disgustingly overall, maybe there’s a scene or two exception, but mostly. these fuckin suck.

Howard (Randy Cunningham, 9th Grade Ninja) <this show is pretty garbage overall tho so

Toby (Trollhunters)<this show is actually worth a watch, if you can stomach his portrayal at certain times

here are some lovely Fat™️, in the generalization of the term, characters that I think are portrayed pretty darn well to end this post on a good note

Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

Hunk (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Steven (Steven Universe)

<<yeah there’s not a lot to go on for either side because fat characters that are actually relevant to the story are a rare find indeed>>

TL; DR!!!! FAT PEOPLE CAN BE LITERALLY ANYTHING!!! THEIR BODY TYPE IN NO WAY RESTRICTS THEIR INTERESTS, TALENTS, OR CHARACTER TRAITS

[steamy-cup-of-doom]

Anger rant

Alright, whos ready for some angry fucking sibling rants? I hope you said me me, because thats what you get As a preface i need to say that my father is black, my mother white, and that both of my sisters are full blooded relatives of mine. As ive grown, ive grown more and more disappointed with who my eldest sister actually is. As the youngest of three, with two older sisters, i was was always impressed, and have a point of view many of my peers do not. My second eldest sister has always been pretty transparent as to who she is. Of course, over time, i got to know her better, and knew different sides of her. And i thought the same was true of my eldest sister as well, but that was not the case. When i was young, my eldest sister, lets call her Jen, was like a shining beacon of unity and equality, an unshakable landmark of justice in a sea of discrimination. And then, the cracks in the cement at the base of her pedestal began to form oneday in a conversation about Star Trek: The Next Generation. Apparently, there is an episode whose purpose was social commentary on the patriarchal society that has somehow managed to persist to the day, in which the crew stumbles upon a planet which is gorverned by a matriarchy. And there were things said like, “Youre smart-for a man.” or “men cant do __ thats a womans job.”which i am fine with, and have even enjoyed in other forms or series. But, what caused the crumbling of my awe at jens righteous glory, was that one day, she was talking of this episode with her friends. She said, and i quote, “I would fucking love that shit. I would be at the front of the line, and id give it to all of them as bad as we get it.” and i was crushed. I was so shocked, i was actually numb, and i didnt even really feel the weight of it on me for a couple hours. And one reason why this hurt me was that she wasnt joking. She said this with sincerity in her eyes. And thats wrong. I strongly believe that if you would agree with jen, then, well, you are part of the cancerous growth on the side of feminism wwhich i like to refer to as ‘Extremists,’ and you are part of the reason that so many people hate feminism. No one who speaks as an advocate for civil rights or equality in any form or fashion should ever, EVER advocate the oppression of another group because of what has befallen them. Martin Luther King Jr. wouldnt have taken a million dollars if he would have turn a firehose on a group of innocent white people, nor would he have used the term “cracker” lightly, or at all, unless expressing his dissatisfaction at the actual term. Jens true fall from grace, however, hasnt stopped. No, it continues with her hitting another branch on the tree of hypocrisy every time she hurls the phrase “Little/white boy” like the most putrid of insults that would poison her and cause her grievous bodily harm if it remained in her mouth, Or everytime she brags about being sustained on white tears, or discredits someones complaint or hardship because theyre a “white bitch” or a “white asshole.” Now, jokes are one thing. i ve been known to, albeit ironically, take part in a joke much like this. But to state and present that as your own honest to god opinion to others is something quite different. And now, on to the straw that broke the camels back, the thing that sparked this in the first place. Tonight, while frantically working on a project that is a hefty portion of my grade in essentially three of my classes, i was beginning to stress out a bit, as its due tomorrow. After about an hour of ripping my fucking hair out, i realise that the little tablet computer i was working on didnt have a goddamn word program on it, which i would need to reformat and correct the resume and references copies for my project. At this point i was quite annoyed, and fairly snappy, despite my best efforts. So, when asking jen if i could use her laptop to finish up, my mother decided it was best if she were to call down to jen in her room in the basemant as opposed to me. “Nope” came as the simple reply to my request. When she was asked whyshe would not let me, she said “i dont wanna.” so. I proceeded to attempt to boot up our old desktop computer with the 1997 copy of microsoft word and a windows vista operating system which was the same model as optimus primes great fucking grandfather, to finish this. In literally over an hour i managed to go in and capitalize an s. That is all. Needless to say, i was at my wits end. I couldnt speak in coherent complete sentences, i was actually shaking, and i took several breaks to go out side and break wooden object over my knee. Now, it wasnt the fact that i needed to get my assignment done that had me so bothered, but the fact that upon seeing her brother in such an exasperated state that i was borderline non-functional, and, naturally, pretty goddamn short with people, her first instinct wasnt to agree to help me, but to get angry, refuse again, and continually say how she was in the middle of doing things, and, on top of that, just didnt want me to use her computer.now, i might be in the minority here, but if i were to see my sibling that i had known for 18 years, and never once in all that time seen him lose a handle on his temper after the age of about six so frustrated that he has to visibly physically struggle to keep his anger in line and fail a few times, my first natural inclination is to help them in whatever way i could. The best part of this situation is that it took me maybe a bit more than five minutes on her computer. Anyway, thats it for my venting this time. Im not correcting typos because i just dont care enough, but yes, i see them.