#i dont care about that trial
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"If you think Amber was the abuser, you're delusional."
Hasn't it been a year or damn near that close? Let me put this in terms you fuck heads will understand.
#i really dont care about that shit head#i dont care about that trial#i do not care#they moved on from it#leave it alone#amber heard#anti amber heard#johnny depp
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He who is reborn through pain, again and again // Body euphoria
#one piece#roronoa zoro#trans zoro#transmasc zoro#i dont care. i will never shut up about how much i read trans allegory in zoro's trials AND IDC IF THATS ONLY ME!!!#where there is room for projection i shall project#anyway his smile is one of a man who knows he has to endure to get closer to the best version of himself#fuck this man and his themes of christic self sacrifice and death and being reborn each time#for a god#while being atheist#why do you always end up with cross imagery roronoa zoro#you cause me great distress#my art
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oh my god oh my god
HAPPY GOJO GETOU DYING DAY!!!!
#im drawing yukis massive bazonkers bc i dont care them anymore#gege likes to nuke everyone i like and care about#and this is why I think choso will be fine#bc i never liked him that much sorry#he does not appeal to my tastes#yuta and higurama hot lawyer man better start running tho#bc yuta is my sweet son and i want hot sad disillusioned lawyer man to put me on trial-
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transfem Louis my beloved,,, she puts Renaissance paintings to shame and armand absolutely worships her so she never has to lift a finger. Louis’ wardrobe is worth more than a luxury car bc armand wants her to have options on OPTIONS that make her feel feminine and pretty. idc if canonically things ended bad that’s armand’s wife and he’s down bad for her
transmasc armand… sensational of course, no notes. louis knows he likes feeling needed so she “accidentally” breaks every appliance in their house one by one so armand can nerd out over fixing them or finding a replacement. armand has more gadgets than he knows what to do w bc louis loves watching him take them apart for hours.
hlold on holds om hold on wait im actually lowkey wailing over this armand said there will be NO lululemon athleisure for my beautiful wife ONLY the best! cause i know girl louis is femme as hell but like refined femme. & when they go to art exhibits you know you KNOW! theyre outcunting everyone in the place because louis looks like a genuine goddess come to earth& armands fr her arm candy at this point. ohnmy god anon you just generated such a beautiful image for me...
#MAC post#MAC ask#loumand#t4t#iwtv#amc iwtv#im ngl im a toxic loumand enjoyer like i love their canon dynamic & for this i was picturing basically a trans stepford wife scenario#like louis comptopping is more or less canon & that rings true for many transfems as well#(not that i dont think there was love & affection there! not that i dont think they really tried! not that i think armand was just a#heartless manipulator who didnt care about louis & was just using him! i do think they loved each other! & importantly they were#sexy as well! but... my poimt still stands)#however this was so sweet & genuine ill let it pass. au where armand doesnt go through with the trial or w/e. idc. upu conjure such a#beautiful image & i lvoe you
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not sure how to phrase this but something i have been ruminating on recently is that xue yang is strangely fragile. obviously he is also incredibly resilient. he survived, and continues to survive, impossible things. he has a million barriers between himself and the world, but none of this actually matters when it comes to what he feels. everything is personal to him. everything pierces straight through all that armor and goes right to his battered heart, the heart that no one else believes he has. that even he is not fully cognizant of. the world strikes and strikes and strikes and so he strikes and strikes and strikes back, even (especially) when the wound is something other people would not think worthy of retribution.
xue yang would never realize this- would be outraged at the concept of it- but the way everything, everything is something to rally a defense against is in itself a form of fragility. he does not know how to let go of things, or let them pass him by. passivity is death. so he is ruthlessly cruel and violent. he projects himself as a lunatic untouchable by anything you might possibly do to him, and on some level he even believes this. but in actuality he is one raw emotional wound. he never learned to separate himself from his emotions, much less process them. the volatility is not so much insanity as it is the constant lashing out of an animal in a trap, and the trap is the world, and the trap is himself, and he is never going to get out. and like so much else, this pain is just part of the background radiation of his life. it hardly registers. to be able to register the hurt, you would have to be able to register a time in which you were not hurt.
i feel like it is a fragility that could blossom into such tenderness, given exactly the right set of circumstances. how at the very first touch of softness in his life he fell into a domesticity from which he never recovered. how much was there, still, to be salvaged from the cruelty. on some level i am always thinking about the little apple bunnies. about the meal for daozhang and the straw in a-qing's bed.
it was too little, too late. it shattered like glass when the world intruded back in. but the tenderness was there. no one, least of all xue yang, knows what might have happened had it been unearthed in him any sooner.
#he is easy to hurt. this is a fact. it is also anathema to his own self conception as well as the model of him in anyone elses minds.#xue yang#yi city#mdzs#aphelion.txt#xy#Contact is crisis; every touch is a modified blow#<- xycore anne carson quote. if you even care#meta#i guess? idk#it is always character analysis hour in my head#with a disclaimer that whether or not someone experiences empathy is NOT correlated to their morality#i dont think its necessarily that xy is incapable of empathy it's that any empathy that might exist in him is deeply deeply repressed#bc he views it as a death warrant. he (at every moment in his head and really quite often in reality) is on trial for his life#and it would be suicidal to give a shit about anyone who is not him.#especially since he knows- down to his bones- that no one is ever going to give a shit about him EXCEPT FOR him#the one chance he ever got to escape this cycle of brutality came with an expiration date built in by consequence of his past atrocities#and he only first started to comprehend anything about his own emotions after it was all already irrevocably fucked#in canon he is doomed. in fandom i am always picking him up and putting him somewhere kinder#shakes you by the shoulders do you understand what he does to me. do you. do you#if you tell me im excusing his crimes i will kill you w my lazer beam.#this isnt ABOUT THAT. this is ME BEING UNHINGED ABT HIS PSYCHOLOGY in a moral vaccuum.#i'm not saying 'hes sensitive uwu' but like i kind of am. unfortunately it mostly just motivates him to murder people#OH and when i connect the fragility to the tenderness i dont mean that i believe hes like. secretly soft#i mean that being as he is so deeply impacted by people's slights against him. he is just as deeply impacted by people's kindnesses#and he's not incapable of reciprocating it. he is INCREDIBLY fucking bad at it. but not incapable#ok i have to post this before i feel compelled to ramble any longer in the tags. jesus#got consumed by my a-yang feelings on a sunday morning sorry#not sure why i worded it as 'continues to survive' other than a constant subconscious denial that xue yang is dead
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I don't want to be a spoil sport or whatever, but I just feel like every fantasy story set around the Salem Witch Trials which suggests that the victims of the trials were actually witches is almost certainly regressive and bad and the writers should be shamed
#especially bad if you're trying be like FeministsTM about it#like do you not understand what was going on in the witch hysteria#not just in Salem or America but Europe too#like I don't even really care if there are witches in the story#there can be witches in the story#like I personally dont think Hocus Pocus counts as an example of this (and also the Sandersons were technically executed AFTER the hysteria#(which just makes the whole timeline funny in my opinion)#but to suggest that the victims of the witch trials WERE witches isnt reclaiming shit#its regressive and gross and basically trying to justify the false crimes they were executed for#like actual people were tortured and executed for things that don't exist you understand that right
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Patch 2
Well of Charon the icons for items has been added in place of circle with letter :
Chaos Trials two cases got nerf in difficulty based on aspect changes but it doesn't show so only can display that they added icons for weapons and keepsakes :
Fated List of Minor Prophercies only got changed that one curse got taken out :
Keepsakes got their icons & Selene's got buffed :
Hexes mostly got nerfed :
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Daedalus Hammer : (Cut from the game ones)
Aspects adjustments reworks :
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Of course there is way more to the patch but it's the glimpses i managed to grab (i'm a visual). Not going to lie a love that you can just press E now for ores and it gets you all 3 instead of clicking it one by one. Nemesis not offering Death Defiance if you don't need it can't say it hits me personally since she never was nice enough for me to offer me such thing. Nocturnal Arms got tweaked but nothing that can be 'shown' & I don't possess Eos or Medea to check the differences but they got tweaked too. For the Hammer will update post when i get new stuff/changed. Whoever kept talking about adding more Driftwood bless you i hope you have great time because holy hell i'm either that unlucky or it's just that bad and it's not even resource you need tools for. There is one change in Oath of the Unseen but it's not in the description (has to do with duo and legendary boons). Can't say it's a lifechanger for me but it's nice that they made it so you can snap out of family portrait sooner it was taking forever previously. I'm curious to see if Golden Boughts will show Nemesis waiting there now because i had situation when i got all rewards but had no idea Nemesis encounter was waiting for me since nothing was shown only after running from one corner to another i finally saw her.
#Hades 2#Hades 2 spoilers#games#my stuff#normally i would give opinions about stuff but haven't done any runs since patch yet just checked said changes#but in short love the adds of new ui icons#hexes got nerfed when they werent already useful really in my opinion#about aspects time will tell#keepsake update i guess she needed that because one upgrade is nothin#hammer i dont like nerf for my blades but oh well#don't really care about list change nor trials i need to catch up with those#artemis aspect got adjustment will see if it good who im kiddin tho im always playin pan now smh#there is second trial that got nerfed difficulty because aspect but i havent unlocked it#and dont judge my lack of all keepsakes i see zeus and poseidon and i keep forgettin i dont have those hoes
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The JD vs Amber Heard stuff was actually insane. I didn't keep up with it because I disagreed with the sheer principle of publicizing something like *that* but the misogyny was MASK OFF...
NO LIKE FRL IT WAS SO INSANE
#ask tag#Tbh like#The thing is i’d already known and been misinformed about the case for a long time prior so I started off thinking depp was innocent#And then I remember when I realized he was very much not partially Bc of the hate I was seeing towards Amber Heard#Like the exposed texts of him saying extremely sexist violent stuff about her and everyone just dismissing that#It became clear that I was wrong from the get-go like that he actually was horrible and I assumed everyone else would realize that too#but then the more ppl dismissed or mocked the real indisputable evidence she brought up#The more I saw that ppl didn’t actually care#They were just excited to be evil and dismissive towards a woman#Lmao sometime after that I stopped giving a fuck about “male mental health” bc clearly they’re not being as shunned as they pretend they r#Sorry is that controversial#I’m just saying if u reversed the genders that trial would’ve played out way differently#The concept of male victims and men with poor mental needing extra attention and care bc theyre sooo marginalized bc they’re men#And they dont get respect and support like those selfish abused women#Should’ve died after this case#Bc whenever there are male victims they get all the support and attention from everyone#Female victims get This#Like dont get me wrong there’s stigma#But the stigma for male victims is “lol you’re like a woman now that’s funny” “lol so r u gay”#The stigma for female victims is “you evil bitch how could you ruin his life you deserved worse you bitch”
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Something I really especially love about btas is that every character is just… a human. Batman doesn't just show up and incapacitate 30 people no issue, he has to fight and brawl with just 1 or 2 henchmen. He can be taken out by hits and poisons and such. The rogues have to surrender when the cops get guns to their faces, and can be overpowered even by normal people. Joker isn't some pure evil incarnation of the Devil or whatever, he's just… a really bad man. Same for every other villain and character. And Bruce actually gets to show personality and emotion beyond Brooking and Grunting. He makes jokes and laughs and gets sad.
I'm really getting to understand why people call this the best Batman adaptation.
#my dc posting#batman#btas#batman the animated series#im not done w it and not even watching it in any particular order#but im currently watching Trial and the rogues are just 👌so peak#''could batman beat superman'' my brother in christ what the fuck are you talking about. he mainly fights like regular ass gangsters and sh#t that's not his natural habitat!!!#like idk when reading comics or fanfic its like. they dont feel grounded in reality anymore#but in btas the movement!!! the fucking movement and timing and lack of embellishment or sometimes even ost!!!#like yeah these are just some ppl in costumes duking it out!! goddd this show is so peak why cant everything be like this#im so tired of modern batman. mr 'i show no emotion ever complete control freak beat my kids' is not my guy!!!#also harley fucks so severely. just all the rogues. they are so horrible and toxic and nothing makes me happier than watching them do fucke#shit#yknow???#this show does apparently then later on commit the unforgivable sin of skipping jason todd in favour of tim#just like young justice#so i'm never gonna watch those seasons/shows#bc jason's my robin and i barely tolerate any other. which sucks bc nobody is interested in putting him in one of these cartoons!!!#shut the fuck up abt tv shows and live action adaptations who cares?? i hate actors and irl shit!!! animate my boy nnnNOW!!
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Something I really don't understand are the assumptions people on the side Israel seem to hold about everyone who is free Palestine, I.E. that we don't think the hostages should be returned or that we think all Israeli citizens deserve to die for the crimes of their government. Like I'm sure there are people who think that, which is gross and frankly unacceptable, but the fact that they approach everything said in support of Palestine from that angle isn't okay either. All that they are doing is trying to simplify everything in a way that makes Israel the indisputable victim and everyone who opposes them into an antisemitic monster when the reality is that most of us just believe in the value of ALL human life and don't think more than 23,000 peoples lives are acceptable collateral damage. Like we just think that Palestinian civilians should have basic access to food, water, healthcare, and shelter and should not be facing arrest just for being Palestinian as if that somehow makes them inherently dangerous, where are you getting the batshit assumptions from in statements like that?
#every time I have made a post in support of palestine I get anon messages accusing me of thinking the hostages shouldn't be returned#or that i don't care that a little more than a thousand israeli civilians died on oct 7#as if me saying that I believe in a need for a ceasefire means i think that their lives are unimportant#this is literally how all the conversations go#me: 'i dont think that thousands of people should be dead while thousands more are injured and starving'#an anon in my inbox: 'oh so you think all jews deserve to die'#like no - shockingly - a person who believes in human rights is just calling out the fact that a huge group of people#have had their basic rights taken away by the israeli government#and they are now being forced to live in intense fear of death and starvation#anyway i was sent into an anger spiral about this seeing what people are saying about the ICJ trial#this is by no means a comprehensive post of my thoughts I just needed to get them out
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how do you go from "investigated to the end and confirmed every detail" to nearly beating multiple people to death because someone said they were bad once
#like. kazui even pointed this out to her once and she just refused to talk about it#i know es forgave her but like damn. atleast wait til after trial 2 to attack and see who is doubke guilty#its a multi trial system for a reason. if u dont tryst the wardens ability to judge people correctly. why do u trust them to guilty people#<- guilty the right people*#thinking back to her 2nd last question. she just needs to keep getting her teeth in and tasting flesh now right?#ig shes just so determined to get rid of evil that she doesn't care or worry if she ends up hurting the weak in the process 🥲#just woke up im going back to sleep goodnight#chernikocore
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All of your Wanderer and Furina fics hit me right in the feels, I- THEY ARE SO GOOD. "Well SOMEONE has to be [angry]", this broke me. I need to see them interacting in canon now-
AWWW thank you so much! This put a huge smile on my face.
I saw a post on how they have a lot of parallels and my mind just ran from there, honestly.
I'll also admit that Wanderer yelling about being angry came directly from the heart - like after everything was over and said and done, besides Neuvillette deciding that he would make sure Furina would want for nothing; like. No one was angry on her behalf. No one seemed to be horrified by everything she'd suffered through, or taken aback by the weight of everything she endured, on the HOPE that everything would turn out alright. It was out of love, yes, but it hurt and it hurt very badly and Wanderer seemed the perfect candidate to be like "Where is your fury? Where is your righteous anger?" Because that's literally him as a character. Like. Even Shouki no Kami in the descriptions it talks about how he has seen so much SUFFERING, seen people go through so many things and how he understands humans, he has felt their suffering, he LOVES them. Because he's been there.
For him, taking that fury and weaponizing it, that is love. He will take your anger that you refuse to hold, or that is too heavy to, and cling to it like it's his lifeblood. He will stand in front of you and demand answers from the ones who wronged you, stain his hands red out of rage. That's just who he is. Eye for an eye and all that. And so like, with Furina, he sees what all happened to her and he sees that no one is angry or questioning and he's like oh. Okay. Then I Will Do It. He's the one holding up her anger to her like TAKE IT. TAKE IT. IT IS YOURS. IT IS OKAY TO HARBOR!! Do it!!
He's got a bigger heart than he cares to admit and good lord he feels SO strongly. Bro will kill for you if he cares.
#i am just. a little puddle.#very sad about what went down like not even TRAVELER was like wait! this is fucked up!#at least that i remember? like right before furina is going to die it's just like oh no wait i dont have all the answers#not oh no someone i have come to care about is going to die why doesn't someone stop this why doesn't someone HELP HER#me personally i think wanderer should pick furina up like that one meme with the woman holding kevin hart in her arms#leave her ALONE#like no one apologized for trapping her and luring her to trial#and sure the other archons praise her in voicelines but no one tells her UPFRONT hey. you are so strong. im sorry you suffered. you did good
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im so sick of embarrassment and anxiety being kind of in control of ?my entire life? at this point
#when someone maturely points out a behavior of mine they are politely asking me to stop doing or is even just checking to make sure im ok#i burst into tears#and no one is more bothered about that than me IM SO SICK OF CRYING OVER NOTHING#IM SO SICK OF MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL#IM SO SICK OF BEING COMPLETELY UNABLE TO REGULATE MY FEELINGS#Is it repression when i try to cheer myself up or is it wallowing in self pity when i just let myself cry#is it proof of decent willpower and self motivation skills that i can and will make myself do something i Don't Fucking Want To Do#or am i just not taking care of myself#secret: its the second thing but the REAL problem is that i need to be okay with it#it needs to not be a problem#i love doing mock trial but all the stress around it makes me want to quit but we're so close to regionals and i cant do that to the team#and i hate that i want to quit and i hate that the reason im not quitting is because im afraid of being embarrassed by doing so#and i hate myself andmy feelings and my irresponsibility and im still just half-assing my assignments#and i have a lot of casual friends but i know for a fact im not anyones best friend im not anyones favorite friend and#i want people to ask me to hang out but im worried that if i dont then it looks like im not interested but im worried that#if i do it too much i look desperate and like im imposing myself and like im . well this phrasing is painful for other reasons but#im scared of acting like im closer friends with someone than they think we are#and i dont know where the line is and i dont know what to do or what to say all i know how to do is make small talk and#exaggerate my facial expressions and tell a stupid fucking joke every 3 seconds#i like my life but im so fucking sick of the fact that *im* the one living it#i dont even want to be someone else i just want to be a version of myself thats not a fucking loser#who can actually put effort into assignments without wanting to throw my laptop out the window#who can be normal about other people#who doesn't have the dumbest fucking anxiety disorder ever#who consistently memorizes the stuff i need to know and can improvise on the fly#who's not an embarrassment to my team and also That One Guy They Keep Letting Hang Out With Us For Some Reason to my friendgroups#who can answer questions in class without looking like a suckup and also does it the right amount to make an impression but not enough to b#embarrassing#who can FUCKING talk to someone instead of making a vent post on *tumblr dot com*#for fucks sake i even wish i didnt use tumblr so much. maybe if i could get into a different social media that's normal i wouldn't be so
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I told my bestie that i was gonna practice self care. Instead i started the worst possible hobby for my mental health.
Dont tell her. Please.
But at least i finally started that doom/cult of the lamb animation that i wanted to do. :)
#cult of the lamb#doom#what do i know about animation? absolutely nothing#did i scream trying to figure out the software? yes#did i read the instructions? why would i#im figuring this out and i will make it work through trial and error and hopes and dreams#does anyone care? i dont care im doing this for ME
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Huh. Now I think about it, Alabaster was the first one to do that sword-coming-out-of-thin-air thing. Well technically it’s a card—-anywayyyyy. What if Alabaster was the one who taught Nico that trick.
#i’m pusing my nicobaster agenda I DONT CARE ANYTHING ELSE#alabaster always seems to know what he’s doing tho. like. obvsly he isnt as powerful as nico#but oh does that kid have tricks. so many tricks.#i like that about him. nobody’s born a child of the big three. alabaster makes it work just fine. he’s STRONG#OF COURSE i’d want nico to learn from him#reason 281381738 nicobaster should be a thing#yone rambling#nico di angelo#alabaster c torrington#nicobaster#pjo#hoo#toa#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#alabaster torrington
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#super freaking out cos my friend who is a vet has offered me a job at her practice as a care assistant#so my job would just be to do all the little jobs. help looking after the animals. cleaning. sometimes calling patients etc#it's a fantastic opportunity but it looks so much more difficult then anything i've ever done before#and on the one hand i'm like ''yes! i love animals! i need a steady income! this is perfect!''#but on the other... i haven't been at my current job that long. so it feels like a dick move to up and leave.#i don't know if i'd be able to cope with the animals dying all the time. some of the stuff i'd have to do looks really technical#and i'm scared i'll do it wrong (eg put the wrong label on the wrong medicine) and it'll lead to an animal dying#like it's a proper full time monday-friday 9-5 kinda gig#which is great cos my current job is a ''are we gonna give you more than 2 days next week?? who knows! it's a supprise!!''#and that situation is stressing me out. so i do need something different#but this is like a proper serious job. and idk that's scary#plus my friend would be my boss. which i don't mind. but i dont want her to vouch for me and then i'm terrible at it...#cos that's not fair on her#they've offered me a trial shift next week. so i guess i could do that and just scope it out..#it also feels like nepotism which doesn't super sit right#but it's not a sure thing. the other vets and practice owners have to agree and they may not like me. it's not like i have experience#and it's only a low paid position so if its nepotism its not like... super beneficial nepotism...#sigh. i know i should go for it. just last time i went for a big different job like this it ended badly#and i ended up back in retail.#so i don't wanna go thru that all again#but i also dont wanna stay working in this shop forever. it wouldn't be too bad if only i had regular hours. .#and i knew what those hours were more than a week in advance#i know this is like.. a non-problem. i'm just stressing about it#plus its making me feel guilty whenever i go into my current job. like i'm cheating on them#i do need that regular income tho#screams in anxiety
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